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1
00:00:54,264 --> 00:00:56,808
[Clock Chiming]
2
00:01:04,441 --> 00:01:06,276
[Baby Crying]
3
00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:44,582
[Woman] Hey, look!
It's the president!
4
00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:47,585
And the pope!
5
00:02:51,630 --> 00:02:54,467
Yee-aah! Yah!
6
00:02:54,550 --> 00:02:56,469
Ooh-la-la-la-la-la!
7
00:02:56,552 --> 00:02:58,262
Ow!
8
00:02:59,722 --> 00:03:01,473
- Waah!
- Waah!
9
00:03:01,557 --> 00:03:03,267
[Man]
Oh, my God!
10
00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:06,687
Look!
It's disgruntled postal workers!
11
00:03:06,770 --> 00:03:08,731
[Click]
12
00:03:23,328 --> 00:03:24,705
Wait a minute!
13
00:03:24,788 --> 00:03:27,082
Give me my baby back!
14
00:03:31,253 --> 00:03:32,129
Aah! Aah!
15
00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:33,088
Frank!
16
00:03:33,172 --> 00:03:35,007
Frank, are you all right?
17
00:03:35,090 --> 00:03:36,467
I'm soaking wet.
18
00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:37,801
I'll get the talcum powder.
19
00:03:37,843 --> 00:03:40,220
It's not that.
I had a nightmare.
20
00:03:40,262 --> 00:03:42,139
There was crime all around me.
21
00:03:42,181 --> 00:03:43,682
I couldn't stop it.
22
00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:45,517
It was just a dream.
23
00:03:45,517 --> 00:03:47,811
All I need is
a good night's rest.
24
00:03:47,894 --> 00:03:51,315
In the morning,
everything will be just fine.
25
00:03:51,398 --> 00:03:52,566
- Aah!
- Aah!
26
00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:55,235
- Aah!
- Aah!
27
00:04:34,482 --> 00:04:35,400
Whoa!
28
00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:37,402
[Whistle Blows]
29
00:04:43,241 --> 00:04:45,326
Show me what you got!
30
00:04:47,412 --> 00:04:48,288
Ow!
31
00:04:49,831 --> 00:04:51,624
[Bells Ring]
32
00:05:10,768 --> 00:05:12,812
- Oh!
- Oh!
33
00:05:17,942 --> 00:05:20,069
- Aah!
- Aah!
34
00:06:21,255 --> 00:06:24,216
Ah-ha ha ha ha ha!
35
00:06:29,972 --> 00:06:31,056
[Beep]
36
00:06:32,182 --> 00:06:33,934
[Buzzer]
37
00:07:01,211 --> 00:07:02,629
How's my little boy?
38
00:07:02,671 --> 00:07:05,298
Getting along okay, sweetie?
39
00:07:05,340 --> 00:07:07,718
About as well as
a heterosexual can in prison.
40
00:07:07,759 --> 00:07:10,470
I don't know how much longer
I can take it.
41
00:07:10,512 --> 00:07:11,430
Ma, how's Tanya?
42
00:07:11,471 --> 00:07:12,973
Tanya's the same.
43
00:07:13,056 --> 00:07:14,474
Milky, creamy skin,
44
00:07:14,516 --> 00:07:16,726
pouting red lips,
firm buttocks,
45
00:07:16,810 --> 00:07:17,811
ample breasts,
46
00:07:17,853 --> 00:07:20,272
ears you'd love
to stick your tongue into.
47
00:07:20,355 --> 00:07:22,482
I'll get guy cramps
if you keep this up.
48
00:07:22,566 --> 00:07:23,525
Sorry.
49
00:07:23,608 --> 00:07:25,944
Rocco, there's somebody here
to see you.
50
00:07:30,657 --> 00:07:32,242
Papshmir.
51
00:07:32,325 --> 00:07:34,160
My people are very upset.
52
00:07:34,244 --> 00:07:35,620
They're always upset.
53
00:07:35,704 --> 00:07:38,123
They're Arab terrorists.
54
00:07:38,206 --> 00:07:39,124
Ma, please.
55
00:07:39,165 --> 00:07:40,875
You're supposed to be
56
00:07:40,917 --> 00:07:43,294
the foremost terrorist bomber
in the world...
57
00:07:43,294 --> 00:07:45,672
train stations, department stores,
government buildings.
58
00:07:45,755 --> 00:07:47,132
The devastation in south Florida?
59
00:07:47,173 --> 00:07:48,550
That was Hurricane Andrew.
60
00:07:48,591 --> 00:07:50,301
That's what they told the public.
61
00:07:50,385 --> 00:07:51,344
No matter.
62
00:07:51,428 --> 00:07:53,805
We wanted to embarrass
the United States,
63
00:07:53,888 --> 00:07:55,265
and you've made the police
64
00:07:55,306 --> 00:07:56,724
look like international heroes.
65
00:07:56,766 --> 00:07:59,727
A first-class job
costs 5 million.
66
00:07:59,769 --> 00:08:02,146
If you want to step up
to the price,
67
00:08:02,188 --> 00:08:05,817
I got a target that'll make
city hall look like chicken feed.
68
00:08:08,278 --> 00:08:10,154
That's a pretty big target,
69
00:08:10,196 --> 00:08:12,198
but why should I think anything
70
00:08:12,282 --> 00:08:13,658
would be different?
71
00:08:13,700 --> 00:08:15,618
'Cause $5 million buys me.
72
00:08:16,786 --> 00:08:18,287
I'm breaking out of here.
73
00:08:18,371 --> 00:08:19,414
All right,
74
00:08:19,497 --> 00:08:21,207
but fail this time, Mr. Dillon,
75
00:08:21,249 --> 00:08:24,085
and my people
won't be so forgiving.
76
00:08:24,127 --> 00:08:25,503
Fail?
77
00:08:25,545 --> 00:08:29,048
Show me one man
who can stop me.
78
00:08:29,215 --> 00:08:32,051
[Hip To Be Square Plays]
79
00:08:42,812 --> 00:08:45,481
*** I used to be a renegade ***
80
00:08:46,565 --> 00:08:48,067
*** I used to fool around ***
81
00:08:49,694 --> 00:08:51,028
*** But I couldn't take ***
82
00:08:51,112 --> 00:08:52,154
*** The punishment ***
83
00:08:52,238 --> 00:08:55,700
*** And had to settle down ***
84
00:08:55,741 --> 00:08:58,994
*** Now I'm playing it real straight ***
85
00:08:59,078 --> 00:09:02,206
*** And, yes, I cut my hair... ***
86
00:09:02,289 --> 00:09:03,541
Attention, shoppers.
87
00:09:03,582 --> 00:09:06,252
Be sure to check out
our paper towel special
88
00:09:06,335 --> 00:09:07,795
on aisle 7.
89
00:09:07,878 --> 00:09:10,089
*** It's hip to be square ***
90
00:09:10,172 --> 00:09:11,507
That's aisle 7.
91
00:09:11,590 --> 00:09:13,259
*** It's hip to be square... ******
92
00:09:14,802 --> 00:09:16,220
Aah!
93
00:09:16,262 --> 00:09:18,222
Hey!
94
00:09:18,305 --> 00:09:19,932
Help!
95
00:09:20,015 --> 00:09:21,475
Give it to me!
96
00:09:21,517 --> 00:09:23,394
My purse!
Somebody help me!
97
00:09:23,435 --> 00:09:24,353
My purse!
98
00:09:24,395 --> 00:09:26,272
Stop fighting me!
99
00:09:26,313 --> 00:09:27,731
*** He's a jolly good fellow ***
100
00:09:27,773 --> 00:09:30,109
*** For he's a jolly good fellow ***
101
00:09:30,150 --> 00:09:33,862
*** For he's a jolly good fellow ***
102
00:09:33,904 --> 00:09:37,157
*** Which nobody can deny ******
103
00:09:37,199 --> 00:09:39,827
Hear! Hear!
104
00:09:39,910 --> 00:09:41,286
Well...
105
00:09:41,370 --> 00:09:44,164
we shot a lot
of people together.
106
00:09:44,248 --> 00:09:45,624
It's been great.
107
00:09:45,666 --> 00:09:47,042
But today I retire,
108
00:09:47,126 --> 00:09:48,961
so if I do any shooting now,
109
00:09:49,044 --> 00:09:51,380
it'll have to be
within the confines of my own home.
110
00:09:51,463 --> 00:09:53,298
Hopefully, it will be an intruder
111
00:09:53,382 --> 00:09:55,676
and not an in-law
like at my bachelor party.
112
00:09:55,759 --> 00:09:58,136
Well, Ed,
113
00:09:58,220 --> 00:10:00,013
I officially give you my gun...
114
00:10:00,097 --> 00:10:02,391
Oh...
115
00:10:02,474 --> 00:10:05,769
And my... my badge...
116
00:10:05,852 --> 00:10:06,812
Oh.
117
00:10:06,895 --> 00:10:08,647
Oh, I...
118
00:10:08,730 --> 00:10:10,565
And, uh...
119
00:10:10,649 --> 00:10:13,443
Jane and I would like
to keep the handcuffs
120
00:10:13,527 --> 00:10:15,862
as a souvenir.
121
00:10:15,946 --> 00:10:17,322
Oh...
122
00:10:17,406 --> 00:10:20,075
Cheer up, Ed.
This is not good-bye.
123
00:10:20,117 --> 00:10:22,953
It's just
"I won't ever see you again."
124
00:10:22,994 --> 00:10:24,496
Oh, Frank.
125
00:10:26,081 --> 00:10:26,957
My purse!
126
00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:28,792
Somebody help me!
127
00:10:28,875 --> 00:10:30,168
Lieutenant Drebin!
128
00:10:30,252 --> 00:10:31,628
Frank!
129
00:10:31,670 --> 00:10:33,046
Didn't you see that?
130
00:10:33,129 --> 00:10:34,005
What?
131
00:10:34,089 --> 00:10:35,465
Oh, yes.
Kitty litter.
132
00:10:35,507 --> 00:10:37,384
2 bags for $ 1.00.
133
00:10:37,467 --> 00:10:38,343
Great.
134
00:10:38,426 --> 00:10:39,761
Order in this court.
135
00:10:39,844 --> 00:10:42,180
The jury will disregard
that last statement.
136
00:10:42,263 --> 00:10:44,099
You may continue, Counselor.
137
00:10:44,224 --> 00:10:46,935
Alimony had been set by the court,
right, Mr. Clayton?
138
00:10:47,018 --> 00:10:48,436
Yes, but...
139
00:10:48,478 --> 00:10:51,231
But not once have you
paid alimony to my client,
140
00:10:51,314 --> 00:10:52,690
repeatedly defying a court order.
141
00:10:52,774 --> 00:10:54,692
Isn't that right, Mr. Clayton?
142
00:10:54,734 --> 00:10:56,111
I lost her address.
143
00:10:56,152 --> 00:10:58,696
She moved twice.
I couldn't keep up.
144
00:10:58,738 --> 00:11:00,365
Don't lie to me, Mr. Clayton.
145
00:11:00,448 --> 00:11:01,825
You're under oath.
146
00:11:01,908 --> 00:11:04,327
Do you know the penalty for perjury?
147
00:11:04,410 --> 00:11:05,286
[Babies Crying]
148
00:11:05,370 --> 00:11:06,538
I'll ask that again.
149
00:11:06,579 --> 00:11:07,497
Objection!
150
00:11:07,539 --> 00:11:08,915
Your Honor, l...
151
00:11:08,957 --> 00:11:09,916
Ow, ow.
152
00:11:09,999 --> 00:11:11,167
Jeez.
153
00:11:11,209 --> 00:11:13,086
Counsel is leading the witness.
154
00:11:13,127 --> 00:11:14,587
Sustained.
155
00:11:14,629 --> 00:11:15,838
[Gavel Pounds]
156
00:11:15,922 --> 00:11:18,132
Sweetie, Mommy said no pounding
when she's in session.
157
00:11:18,216 --> 00:11:21,260
Please read the prosecution's
last statement to the court.
158
00:11:21,302 --> 00:11:23,346
"Don't lie to me, Mr. Clayton.
You're under oath."
159
00:11:23,388 --> 00:11:24,847
[Burp]
160
00:11:24,931 --> 00:11:26,391
There. That a boy.
161
00:11:26,432 --> 00:11:28,476
"Do you know what the penalty
for perjury is?"
162
00:11:28,559 --> 00:11:29,435
[Burp]
163
00:11:31,646 --> 00:11:33,439
That's all I have, Your Honor.
164
00:11:33,481 --> 00:11:36,317
You may continue,
Ms. Spencer-Drebin.
165
00:11:36,359 --> 00:11:38,861
Uh... prosecution rests.
166
00:11:38,945 --> 00:11:42,073
Defense attorney
Ms. Davis-Jacobsteiner-Laszlo?
167
00:11:42,114 --> 00:11:44,200
I have no further questions,
Your Honor.
168
00:11:44,283 --> 00:11:47,078
Court will recess
until after the morning feed.
169
00:11:47,161 --> 00:11:48,287
[Squeak]
170
00:11:50,289 --> 00:11:53,167
We're going to win this.
I can feel it.
171
00:11:53,250 --> 00:11:55,544
Yes. Of course.
172
00:11:55,586 --> 00:11:57,463
I married the wrong man.
173
00:11:57,505 --> 00:12:00,549
I never thought
that was possible.
174
00:12:00,633 --> 00:12:01,967
I beg your pardon?
175
00:12:02,051 --> 00:12:03,386
Oh, nothing.
176
00:12:03,469 --> 00:12:06,722
Louise, there's no such thing
as the wrong man.
177
00:12:06,806 --> 00:12:09,475
You just have to work at it.
178
00:12:10,518 --> 00:12:11,894
Now, let's see,
179
00:12:11,977 --> 00:12:13,813
Mr. And Mrs. Drebin, right?
180
00:12:13,896 --> 00:12:16,232
Now, you two have been married
181
00:12:16,315 --> 00:12:18,567
for six months?
182
00:12:18,609 --> 00:12:20,027
Yes.
183
00:12:20,069 --> 00:12:22,947
We really appreciate
you seeing us, Doctor.
184
00:12:23,030 --> 00:12:25,324
You came highly recommended
by our last therapist.
185
00:12:25,407 --> 00:12:28,452
Yes, I was sorry to hear
about his suicide.
186
00:12:28,494 --> 00:12:30,871
You know, I feel it's important
187
00:12:30,913 --> 00:12:33,374
for a couple to get off
on the right foot
188
00:12:33,457 --> 00:12:35,292
and not get caught up in blame.
189
00:12:35,376 --> 00:12:37,127
Which one of you is impotent?
190
00:12:37,211 --> 00:12:38,712
That would be him.
191
00:12:38,754 --> 00:12:40,130
Yes, of course.
192
00:12:40,172 --> 00:12:42,424
Why don't you ask who's frigid?
193
00:12:42,508 --> 00:12:43,717
That would be him, also.
194
00:12:43,759 --> 00:12:45,844
How would you know?
You're never home.
195
00:12:45,928 --> 00:12:47,763
He resents that
I'm a working woman.
196
00:12:47,846 --> 00:12:50,182
He has no idea
what a woman wants or needs.
197
00:12:50,265 --> 00:12:51,850
You're so insensitive.
198
00:12:51,934 --> 00:12:54,019
This isn't that
toilet seat thing again, is it?
199
00:12:54,102 --> 00:12:56,438
It's babies, Frank.
I want to have a baby.
200
00:12:56,480 --> 00:12:59,107
Every time we start to make love,
you have a headache.
201
00:12:59,191 --> 00:13:00,734
I'm not a piece of meat, Jane.
202
00:13:00,817 --> 00:13:01,985
I'm trying.
203
00:13:02,069 --> 00:13:04,112
I've got ointments,
lotions, creams, books,
204
00:13:04,196 --> 00:13:05,530
things that vibrate.
205
00:13:05,614 --> 00:13:06,740
Frank!
206
00:13:06,782 --> 00:13:08,158
Maybe it's your fault.
207
00:13:08,241 --> 00:13:11,078
Have you tried sexy lingerie?
208
00:13:11,119 --> 00:13:13,664
Some lacy underwear, a black teddy?
209
00:13:13,747 --> 00:13:16,541
I've tried wearing them all.
They don't work.
210
00:13:16,625 --> 00:13:17,626
Oh.
211
00:13:17,709 --> 00:13:19,920
Why don't you want
to have a child?
212
00:13:20,003 --> 00:13:23,215
Didn't I try to adopt
that 18-year-old Korean girl?
213
00:13:23,298 --> 00:13:25,133
Jane, Frank,
214
00:13:25,217 --> 00:13:27,052
here's what I suggest.
215
00:13:27,135 --> 00:13:30,680
Make tonight a special night.
216
00:13:30,722 --> 00:13:33,308
Dinner, wine, romantic music.
217
00:13:33,391 --> 00:13:35,685
Put on the 24-hour
Johnny Mathis station.
218
00:13:35,769 --> 00:13:38,104
Just be Jane and Frank,
219
00:13:38,188 --> 00:13:40,023
lovers.
220
00:13:40,106 --> 00:13:41,942
We haven't had a night like that
221
00:13:42,025 --> 00:13:43,860
in a long time.
222
00:13:43,944 --> 00:13:45,779
Not together.
223
00:13:45,862 --> 00:13:47,697
Frank!
224
00:13:47,781 --> 00:13:49,908
Jane...
225
00:13:49,949 --> 00:13:51,868
having a baby is
a big responsibility.
226
00:13:51,910 --> 00:13:55,663
It's like being in charge
of sanitation at a Haitian jail.
227
00:13:55,705 --> 00:13:57,791
I'm just frightened.
228
00:13:57,874 --> 00:14:00,168
Frank, let's make tonight
something special.
229
00:14:00,251 --> 00:14:03,046
Oh, honey, it's just that
I love you so much.
230
00:14:03,129 --> 00:14:05,799
My little lover sparrow.
231
00:14:05,882 --> 00:14:07,509
My...
232
00:14:07,592 --> 00:14:09,344
puppy-wuppy wover.
233
00:14:09,427 --> 00:14:11,221
My little love biscuit.
234
00:14:11,304 --> 00:14:13,723
My little shnooky-wookums.
235
00:14:13,806 --> 00:14:16,059
My little lady cheesy puppy.
236
00:14:16,142 --> 00:14:18,311
Mr. And Mrs. Drebin,
237
00:14:18,394 --> 00:14:20,313
please, I'm a diabetic.
238
00:14:20,355 --> 00:14:22,273
I think you two ought to go now.
239
00:14:22,357 --> 00:14:24,984
I never thought
we'd end this way.
240
00:14:25,026 --> 00:14:28,196
How did you think we'd end?
241
00:14:28,237 --> 00:14:30,365
I don't know.
242
00:14:31,407 --> 00:14:33,284
Some other way.
243
00:14:33,326 --> 00:14:34,243
Oh, Jason.
244
00:14:34,285 --> 00:14:36,496
[Crying]
245
00:14:41,042 --> 00:14:42,376
[Doorbell Rings]
246
00:14:42,418 --> 00:14:45,254
E have to fight
this thing... together.
247
00:14:47,757 --> 00:14:49,175
Ed! Nordberg!
248
00:14:49,258 --> 00:14:50,718
It's been a long time.
249
00:14:50,801 --> 00:14:52,470
- Hiya, Frank!
- Good to see ya.
250
00:14:52,553 --> 00:14:53,763
You look terrific!
251
00:14:53,804 --> 00:14:55,181
Thank you, Ed.
252
00:14:55,264 --> 00:14:57,767
The little woman
got me a Thighmaster.
253
00:14:57,808 --> 00:14:59,226
Where are my manners?
254
00:14:59,268 --> 00:15:01,103
Come on in. Come in.
255
00:15:01,187 --> 00:15:02,605
How charming!
256
00:15:02,647 --> 00:15:03,981
Sit, sit.
257
00:15:04,065 --> 00:15:06,400
Excuse the mess.
It's my ironing day.
258
00:15:06,484 --> 00:15:08,819
I just frosted some cupcakes.
259
00:15:08,903 --> 00:15:10,738
Would you care for one?
260
00:15:10,821 --> 00:15:12,198
Oh, not just now.
261
00:15:12,281 --> 00:15:14,575
Frank, we're having
a little problem
262
00:15:14,658 --> 00:15:16,452
with a terrorist threat.
263
00:15:16,535 --> 00:15:17,828
I'd love a cupcake.
264
00:15:17,912 --> 00:15:19,497
That coffee smells great.
265
00:15:19,580 --> 00:15:21,290
I grind my own beans.
266
00:15:21,332 --> 00:15:23,209
Frank, the reason we're here
267
00:15:23,250 --> 00:15:25,169
is we need
your help with something.
268
00:15:33,010 --> 00:15:34,470
That is great!
269
00:15:34,553 --> 00:15:37,514
I hoped you'd like them.
Made them from scratch.
270
00:15:37,598 --> 00:15:39,892
Just get off my feet for a second.
271
00:15:39,975 --> 00:15:42,770
Frank, we may have
a lead on a suspect
272
00:15:42,853 --> 00:15:44,521
in the city hall bombing attempt.
273
00:15:44,563 --> 00:15:46,648
These pictures were taken
by a news photographer.
274
00:15:46,690 --> 00:15:48,567
This girl was used as a diversion.
275
00:15:48,650 --> 00:15:49,985
We had them enlarged.
276
00:15:50,069 --> 00:15:51,862
They look familiar.
277
00:15:51,904 --> 00:15:53,906
No, Frank, the pin.
She's a nurse.
278
00:15:53,989 --> 00:15:55,866
Can I keep this one?
279
00:15:55,908 --> 00:15:58,619
We traced her to
the Karlson Clinic on Myrtlewood.
280
00:15:58,702 --> 00:15:59,995
Her name is Tanya Peters.
281
00:16:00,078 --> 00:16:00,954
Tanya Peters?
282
00:16:01,038 --> 00:16:01,997
You know her?
283
00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:04,875
Don't you remember
back in the 1970s?
284
00:16:04,958 --> 00:16:07,586
The big disco shootout.
285
00:16:09,546 --> 00:16:12,466
*** ell, you can tell
by the way I use my walk ***
286
00:16:12,549 --> 00:16:13,467
*** I'm a woman's man ***
287
00:16:13,508 --> 00:16:14,760
*** No time to talk ***
288
00:16:14,843 --> 00:16:16,970
*** The music loud, the women warm ***
289
00:16:17,054 --> 00:16:19,056
*** I've been kicked around
since I was born ***
290
00:16:19,097 --> 00:16:21,475
*** But now it's all right
and that's okay ***
291
00:16:21,558 --> 00:16:23,643
*** And you may look the other way ***
292
00:16:23,727 --> 00:16:25,270
*** e can try to understand... ***
293
00:16:25,353 --> 00:16:27,856
Ed, what's happenin', my man?
294
00:16:27,898 --> 00:16:30,734
Frank, we missed you
last night at the fondue party.
295
00:16:30,776 --> 00:16:31,735
Couldn't make it.
296
00:16:31,735 --> 00:16:33,653
Went to see the Village People.
297
00:16:33,653 --> 00:16:35,363
They are a stone gas, man.
298
00:16:35,447 --> 00:16:36,781
I can dig it.
299
00:16:36,865 --> 00:16:38,700
What have we got here?
300
00:16:38,783 --> 00:16:40,535
One dead disco dancer.
301
00:16:40,535 --> 00:16:42,454
Bummer.
What a mindbender, huh?
302
00:16:42,495 --> 00:16:44,664
We think it was
a love triangle.
303
00:16:44,706 --> 00:16:46,750
This is the suspect's girlfriend
Tanya Peters.
304
00:16:46,791 --> 00:16:48,168
I'll be right back.
305
00:16:48,251 --> 00:16:49,336
Cigarette?
306
00:16:49,419 --> 00:16:51,254
Yes, I know.
307
00:16:51,296 --> 00:16:52,839
Well...
308
00:16:52,881 --> 00:16:55,717
we'll need a statement from you
down at the station.
309
00:16:55,759 --> 00:16:57,302
Nordberg!
310
00:16:57,385 --> 00:16:59,554
Coming, Lieutenant!
311
00:16:59,596 --> 00:17:01,890
*** Somebody help me ***
312
00:17:03,058 --> 00:17:07,729
*** I'm stayin'alive... ******
313
00:17:07,771 --> 00:17:09,147
I do remember.
314
00:17:09,189 --> 00:17:11,566
You were one of
the first test cases
315
00:17:11,608 --> 00:17:12,901
for minoxidil, weren't you?
316
00:17:12,984 --> 00:17:13,860
What?
317
00:17:13,943 --> 00:17:16,571
Well, I'm glad
I could be of help.
318
00:17:16,654 --> 00:17:18,823
If you don't mind,
I've got a rump of lamb
319
00:17:18,907 --> 00:17:20,116
to put in the oven.
320
00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:21,576
We need a favor.
321
00:17:21,618 --> 00:17:23,494
Not that big a rump roast, Nordberg.
322
00:17:23,578 --> 00:17:24,913
No, not that, Frank.
323
00:17:24,996 --> 00:17:27,457
We need you to go undercover
at the clinic.
324
00:17:27,498 --> 00:17:29,834
I've given up police work, Ed.
325
00:17:29,917 --> 00:17:32,587
You're whistling up
the wrong neck of the woods.
326
00:17:32,670 --> 00:17:34,380
We're in a bind, Frank.
327
00:17:34,464 --> 00:17:36,507
What about those two new guys
Hedges and O'Malley?
328
00:17:36,591 --> 00:17:40,219
They're in Hawaii... together.
329
00:17:40,219 --> 00:17:41,721
Well, l... I can't.
330
00:17:41,804 --> 00:17:43,639
Jane and I have
a special evening planned.
331
00:17:43,723 --> 00:17:46,058
It will only take
a couple of hours.
332
00:17:46,100 --> 00:17:48,436
You'll be home
in time to make dinner.
333
00:17:48,519 --> 00:17:50,354
I'd have to make pork chops.
334
00:17:50,438 --> 00:17:52,773
Frank, think of
all the crime out there.
335
00:17:52,857 --> 00:17:55,193
Nobody is safe.
You'd be protecting Jane.
336
00:17:55,276 --> 00:17:57,945
You'd be protecting
all the Janes of the world.
337
00:17:57,987 --> 00:18:00,156
Besides, you haven't shot anybody
in six months.
338
00:18:00,239 --> 00:18:01,115
That's true.
339
00:18:01,198 --> 00:18:03,784
Funny how you miss
the little things.
340
00:18:03,868 --> 00:18:06,662
It might be good to feel
that cold, hard steel
341
00:18:06,746 --> 00:18:08,581
pressed against my thigh once again.
342
00:18:08,664 --> 00:18:11,876
The thrill of the chase,
to be a man.
343
00:18:11,917 --> 00:18:13,336
After folding the laundry,
344
00:18:13,377 --> 00:18:15,546
I set out for the Karlson Clinic.
345
00:18:15,629 --> 00:18:18,299
In any police operation, it's important
to have a foolproof disguise.
346
00:18:18,382 --> 00:18:20,551
This operation was no different.
347
00:18:23,137 --> 00:18:25,806
I had no idea
if Tanya would recognize me,
348
00:18:25,890 --> 00:18:28,225
so I slipped on
a fake pair of glasses
349
00:18:28,267 --> 00:18:30,144
and combed my hair differently,
just in case.
350
00:18:30,186 --> 00:18:32,062
The plan was to get in,
351
00:18:32,062 --> 00:18:34,481
get information on Tanya's
connection with the bombing,
352
00:18:34,523 --> 00:18:37,359
and get out as quickly as possible.
353
00:18:37,401 --> 00:18:39,778
I figured faking
an old football injury
354
00:18:39,820 --> 00:18:41,196
would do the trick.
355
00:18:41,238 --> 00:18:42,114
[Cough]
356
00:18:42,197 --> 00:18:43,907
Can I help you?
357
00:18:43,991 --> 00:18:46,785
I'd like to see
a doctor, please.
358
00:18:46,869 --> 00:18:48,037
Sign in here, please.
359
00:18:48,120 --> 00:18:49,997
Do you have
an appointment, Mister...
360
00:18:50,039 --> 00:18:51,248
Uh, Smith.
361
00:18:51,331 --> 00:18:53,125
Uh, no, I don't.
362
00:18:53,208 --> 00:18:54,710
Then take a number.
363
00:18:54,793 --> 00:18:56,211
Six.
364
00:18:56,253 --> 00:18:57,337
What?
365
00:18:57,421 --> 00:18:58,797
Is six taken?
366
00:18:58,839 --> 00:19:02,509
Does it have to be
between 1 and 10?
367
00:19:04,303 --> 00:19:07,222
You'll be called.
368
00:19:07,306 --> 00:19:08,599
Thank you.
369
00:19:14,104 --> 00:19:15,772
Uh, Mr. Smith?
370
00:19:15,856 --> 00:19:18,817
Sir, we've just had
a cancellation.
371
00:19:18,900 --> 00:19:20,986
We can take you now.
Dr. Karlson?
372
00:19:21,028 --> 00:19:22,404
Good morning, Mr. Smith.
373
00:19:22,487 --> 00:19:23,697
Right this way.
374
00:19:23,780 --> 00:19:26,575
I really appreciate
your seeing me like this.
375
00:19:26,658 --> 00:19:29,161
I'm sure it won't take too long.
376
00:19:35,208 --> 00:19:37,461
When did you first notice
the problem?
377
00:19:37,544 --> 00:19:39,379
Uh, in the backyard
378
00:19:39,463 --> 00:19:40,797
with my uncle.
379
00:19:40,881 --> 00:19:43,091
In the backyard
with your uncle?
380
00:19:43,175 --> 00:19:45,510
Yes. When he comes over to visit,
381
00:19:45,552 --> 00:19:47,929
we like to go out
in the backyard,
382
00:19:47,971 --> 00:19:50,348
throw it around for a while.
383
00:19:50,348 --> 00:19:52,851
What did you
and your uncle find out?
384
00:19:52,893 --> 00:19:54,603
I can't keep up with him.
385
00:19:54,686 --> 00:19:56,521
Mine hurt,
especially on the long ones.
386
00:19:56,563 --> 00:19:58,481
I can't seem to
straighten it out.
387
00:19:58,523 --> 00:20:00,400
It has no feeling.
388
00:20:00,442 --> 00:20:01,860
It's kind of numb.
389
00:20:01,901 --> 00:20:05,405
I may have yanked it
too much, maybe.
390
00:20:08,283 --> 00:20:10,160
If you would.
391
00:20:10,243 --> 00:20:12,704
For what?
392
00:20:12,787 --> 00:20:14,414
A sperm count.
393
00:20:14,497 --> 00:20:15,707
In here?
394
00:20:15,790 --> 00:20:17,625
It's not exactly the backyard,
395
00:20:17,709 --> 00:20:19,294
but it'll do.
396
00:20:19,377 --> 00:20:20,795
Well.
397
00:20:24,340 --> 00:20:25,758
[Zipper]
398
00:20:25,842 --> 00:20:27,218
[Slap]
399
00:20:27,302 --> 00:20:28,636
Oh!
400
00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:30,096
[Clang]
401
00:20:30,179 --> 00:20:31,514
[Glass Breaking]
402
00:20:31,598 --> 00:20:32,682
[Zipper]
403
00:20:36,811 --> 00:20:38,187
Follow me,
404
00:20:38,271 --> 00:20:41,107
and we'll do
the necessary paperwork.
405
00:20:43,776 --> 00:20:45,153
Sign these at the bottom
406
00:20:45,194 --> 00:20:46,904
and leave them with the nurse
407
00:20:46,988 --> 00:20:48,322
on your way out.
408
00:20:49,365 --> 00:20:50,742
This way, please.
409
00:20:50,825 --> 00:20:51,909
Uh, what?
410
00:20:51,951 --> 00:20:52,869
Number 17.
411
00:20:52,910 --> 00:20:53,953
Oh, no.
412
00:20:53,995 --> 00:20:54,912
A problem?
413
00:20:54,954 --> 00:20:55,913
No, no.
414
00:20:55,913 --> 00:20:57,498
This is 17.
415
00:20:57,540 --> 00:20:58,457
You're next.
416
00:20:58,499 --> 00:20:59,876
Have we met before?
417
00:20:59,917 --> 00:21:01,335
If you'll excuse me,
418
00:21:01,377 --> 00:21:02,253
I'm next.
419
00:21:02,336 --> 00:21:03,212
Ooh! Aah!
420
00:21:03,296 --> 00:21:04,171
[Glass Breaking]
421
00:21:04,255 --> 00:21:05,548
Aah!
422
00:21:05,631 --> 00:21:06,507
[Clang]
423
00:21:06,591 --> 00:21:07,466
[Knock Knock]
424
00:21:07,550 --> 00:21:08,426
Sir?
425
00:21:08,509 --> 00:21:09,385
Aah!
426
00:21:09,468 --> 00:21:10,344
Mr. Smith,
427
00:21:10,428 --> 00:21:11,721
how are we doing?
428
00:21:11,762 --> 00:21:12,722
[Sheep Bleats]
429
00:21:12,805 --> 00:21:15,558
I've been busy,
if that's what you mean.
430
00:21:15,599 --> 00:21:18,477
Would you like a videotape
to assist you?
431
00:21:18,561 --> 00:21:20,396
Do you have Dances with olves?
432
00:21:20,479 --> 00:21:22,356
Rocketeer?
Lady and the Tramp?
433
00:21:22,398 --> 00:21:24,734
An adult movie.
434
00:21:25,901 --> 00:21:28,070
Well...
435
00:21:28,154 --> 00:21:29,071
Ooh! Aah!
436
00:21:29,155 --> 00:21:30,489
Yeow!
437
00:21:30,531 --> 00:21:31,991
Oh! Yes!
438
00:21:36,453 --> 00:21:38,622
The tape was very entertaining.
439
00:21:38,706 --> 00:21:40,958
Follow me.
440
00:21:41,041 --> 00:21:43,252
Do you have Spartacus?
441
00:22:03,897 --> 00:22:06,442
Maintenance, cleanup room seven.
442
00:22:06,483 --> 00:22:09,236
Maintenance, cleanup room seven,
443
00:22:09,319 --> 00:22:10,237
stat.
444
00:22:14,908 --> 00:22:16,743
What are you doing?
445
00:22:16,827 --> 00:22:18,662
Just freshening up.
446
00:22:18,704 --> 00:22:20,163
You should always look your best
447
00:22:20,247 --> 00:22:22,082
even though you're by yourself.
448
00:22:22,165 --> 00:22:23,750
You know what I mean?
449
00:22:23,834 --> 00:22:25,544
Are you sure we've never met?
450
00:22:25,627 --> 00:22:28,714
Oh, here's my cup.
Back to work.
451
00:22:29,756 --> 00:22:30,674
[Knock Knock]
452
00:22:30,716 --> 00:22:32,342
Uh, Mr. Smith?
453
00:22:32,426 --> 00:22:33,802
Are you okay in there?
454
00:22:33,844 --> 00:22:35,971
I could use a little help.
455
00:22:36,054 --> 00:22:37,681
Dr. Rosenblatt,
456
00:22:37,681 --> 00:22:39,599
foreplay in room seven, please.
457
00:22:39,641 --> 00:22:41,017
Dr. Rosenblatt.
458
00:22:43,186 --> 00:22:45,772
[Scraping]
459
00:22:50,193 --> 00:22:53,029
[Johnny Mathis Sings Misty]
460
00:22:58,285 --> 00:23:00,203
Honey...
461
00:23:00,245 --> 00:23:01,788
I've been waiting all day.
462
00:23:01,871 --> 00:23:04,457
I'm wearing the nightgown
you bought me
463
00:23:04,541 --> 00:23:05,917
for our honeymoon.
464
00:23:07,669 --> 00:23:10,630
Tonight's going to be
a special night.
465
00:23:10,672 --> 00:23:13,091
I'm going to make love to you
466
00:23:13,174 --> 00:23:14,551
for hours and hours.
467
00:23:14,634 --> 00:23:16,720
Wouldn't Mr. Happy like that?
468
00:23:16,761 --> 00:23:18,763
Hours?
469
00:23:18,805 --> 00:23:21,724
Just like the first time
we were together.
470
00:23:21,808 --> 00:23:24,727
Jane, why don't I soak in the tub
for a couple of days?
471
00:23:24,811 --> 00:23:27,063
Possibly a week.
472
00:23:27,147 --> 00:23:28,648
Oh, you're so cute.
473
00:23:28,731 --> 00:23:31,526
Let me go get
the oysters and clams.
474
00:23:31,609 --> 00:23:35,738
*** alk my way ***
475
00:23:35,780 --> 00:23:38,992
*** And 1,000 violins ***
476
00:23:39,033 --> 00:23:42,036
*** Begin to play ***
477
00:23:42,120 --> 00:23:43,913
*** Or it might be the sound ***
478
00:23:43,955 --> 00:23:47,083
*** Of your hello ***
479
00:23:47,166 --> 00:23:50,128
*** That music I hear ***
480
00:23:50,211 --> 00:23:52,505
*** I get misty ***
481
00:23:52,588 --> 00:23:58,428
*** The moment you're near ***
482
00:23:58,511 --> 00:24:00,805
*** You can say ***
483
00:24:00,888 --> 00:24:05,184
*** That you're leading me on... ***
484
00:24:05,226 --> 00:24:06,143
Here.
485
00:24:06,185 --> 00:24:09,021
I'll shave your back like last time.
486
00:24:09,063 --> 00:24:12,358
Jane, I really don't
think we should.
487
00:24:12,441 --> 00:24:13,526
Frank!
488
00:24:13,609 --> 00:24:14,527
What's this?
489
00:24:14,568 --> 00:24:16,445
I... fell on a rake.
490
00:24:16,487 --> 00:24:18,364
You're lying.
491
00:24:18,406 --> 00:24:21,200
Now I know why Ed's been calling
every half hour.
492
00:24:21,242 --> 00:24:22,827
You've been back on a case,
haven't you?
493
00:24:22,910 --> 00:24:25,371
No, no. I swear.
It's another woman!
494
00:24:25,454 --> 00:24:26,956
In your wildest dreams!
495
00:24:27,039 --> 00:24:29,250
It's bad enough you
won't have a baby,
496
00:24:29,250 --> 00:24:31,627
but I warned you about going back
to Police Squad,
497
00:24:31,710 --> 00:24:34,130
you white Anglo male!
498
00:24:34,171 --> 00:24:35,131
Jane!
499
00:24:35,131 --> 00:24:36,507
Oh! Jane!
500
00:24:36,590 --> 00:24:37,967
It was nothing, Jane!
501
00:24:38,050 --> 00:24:39,927
I was doing Ed a small favor!
502
00:24:40,010 --> 00:24:41,887
Some retirement.
I'm leaving, Frank.
503
00:24:41,929 --> 00:24:44,265
I never thought
you'd go back on your word.
504
00:24:44,306 --> 00:24:46,183
Aren't you being a little hasty?
505
00:24:46,225 --> 00:24:47,434
I don't think so.
506
00:24:47,476 --> 00:24:48,394
[Doorbell Rings]
507
00:24:48,435 --> 00:24:49,937
That should be the cab.
508
00:24:50,020 --> 00:24:51,772
You can reach me at Louise's.
509
00:24:51,814 --> 00:24:53,816
Oh, Frank, how could you?
510
00:24:53,857 --> 00:24:56,694
We need time apart
to think about us.
511
00:24:56,735 --> 00:24:58,112
I'm not going to think.
512
00:24:58,195 --> 00:24:59,738
Why start now?
I love you.
513
00:24:59,822 --> 00:25:00,739
Look, baby,
514
00:25:00,781 --> 00:25:03,409
I am what I am,
and I do what I do.
515
00:25:03,492 --> 00:25:05,244
A few guys make shoelaces,
some lay sod,
516
00:25:05,327 --> 00:25:07,454
others make a good living
neutering animals.
517
00:25:07,538 --> 00:25:08,914
I'm a cop.
518
00:25:08,997 --> 00:25:11,083
Pretty speech,
but my mind is made up.
519
00:25:11,166 --> 00:25:12,084
I'm leaving.
520
00:25:12,167 --> 00:25:13,085
All right.
521
00:25:13,127 --> 00:25:14,920
Then take this with you.
522
00:25:18,173 --> 00:25:19,758
*** I get misty... ******
523
00:25:19,842 --> 00:25:22,844
You know how my lips
feel about things.
524
00:25:22,928 --> 00:25:24,388
[Doorbell Rings]
525
00:25:29,309 --> 00:25:30,185
Good-bye, Frank.
526
00:25:30,269 --> 00:25:32,187
You're listening to KSAD,
527
00:25:32,271 --> 00:25:34,022
all-depressing,
528
00:25:34,064 --> 00:25:35,565
all the time.
529
00:25:35,649 --> 00:25:37,484
Here's a dedication
to Frank from Jane
530
00:25:37,567 --> 00:25:39,403
who just called from a taxi.
531
00:25:39,486 --> 00:25:40,821
"Frank, you lying weasel-weenie.
532
00:25:40,904 --> 00:25:42,739
It's bad enough
you're shooting blanks.
533
00:25:42,823 --> 00:25:44,658
Now you're letting all the heat out.
534
00:25:44,741 --> 00:25:47,661
Ere you born in a barn,
you stupid..."
535
00:25:47,786 --> 00:25:50,372
He promised he'd never go back
to police work.
536
00:25:50,455 --> 00:25:52,749
Once a cop, always a cop.
537
00:25:52,833 --> 00:25:55,627
He's married to his work, not me.
538
00:25:55,710 --> 00:25:57,546
You'll always come in second.
539
00:25:57,629 --> 00:25:59,965
There was this
great article in Cosmo...
540
00:26:00,048 --> 00:26:01,883
"Why all men are pigs."
541
00:26:01,967 --> 00:26:03,802
Frank's just another word for loser.
542
00:26:03,885 --> 00:26:06,179
I never want to see him again.
543
00:26:06,263 --> 00:26:09,224
I want to get
as far away as possible.
544
00:26:09,307 --> 00:26:12,018
We'll head to my friend's cabin
by the smelting plant.
545
00:26:12,060 --> 00:26:14,854
The fresh air will do you good.
546
00:26:14,938 --> 00:26:17,857
Go easy.
That's your second bottle of Chanel.
547
00:26:17,941 --> 00:26:19,150
You're witnessing the beginning
548
00:26:19,234 --> 00:26:21,069
of a new Jane Spencer-Drebin.
549
00:26:21,152 --> 00:26:23,947
No more little Miss Perky
devoting her life to one man.
550
00:26:24,030 --> 00:26:25,657
I'm out for the new me.
551
00:26:25,698 --> 00:26:27,659
Let's burn rubber.
552
00:26:29,619 --> 00:26:31,621
You didn't forget anything, did you?
553
00:26:31,704 --> 00:26:33,081
[Louise]
I hope not.
554
00:26:37,460 --> 00:26:38,836
Just calm down, ma'am.
555
00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:40,755
How many bodies did you find
556
00:26:40,838 --> 00:26:42,215
in your swimming pool?
557
00:26:42,298 --> 00:26:44,592
Killing a gang member's
only an $ 18 fine.
558
00:26:44,676 --> 00:26:45,969
Just mail it in.
559
00:26:46,052 --> 00:26:48,596
Frank!
Glad you could make it!
560
00:26:48,680 --> 00:26:49,555
Welcome, buddy.
561
00:26:49,639 --> 00:26:50,515
Nordberg.
562
00:26:50,598 --> 00:26:52,183
Did you find
Tanya's address, Frank?
563
00:26:52,266 --> 00:26:54,102
I wrote it on a hanky,
564
00:26:54,185 --> 00:26:56,729
and I can't remember
what I did with it.
565
00:26:56,813 --> 00:26:57,980
I'm getting a bit rusty.
566
00:26:58,022 --> 00:26:59,399
Oh, that's all right.
567
00:26:59,482 --> 00:27:01,484
It could happen to anybody.
568
00:27:01,567 --> 00:27:04,362
I brought you
Frank's never-fail fudge.
569
00:27:04,445 --> 00:27:06,781
You go on about your business.
570
00:27:06,823 --> 00:27:07,740
Smells great.
571
00:27:07,782 --> 00:27:09,367
I'll stay out of your hair.
572
00:27:09,450 --> 00:27:10,743
[Vacuum]
573
00:27:11,786 --> 00:27:13,788
Uh, Frank, let me take that.
574
00:27:13,871 --> 00:27:15,706
We've got a surprise for you.
575
00:27:15,790 --> 00:27:18,584
It's in honor of your 30 years
on the force.
576
00:27:18,668 --> 00:27:19,919
Nordberg.
577
00:27:20,002 --> 00:27:20,878
- Yay!
- Yay!
578
00:27:20,962 --> 00:27:21,837
Congratulations, buddy!
579
00:27:21,921 --> 00:27:23,422
Oh, boy.
580
00:27:23,464 --> 00:27:25,800
This is really great.
581
00:27:28,594 --> 00:27:31,263
Thank you, guys.
582
00:27:31,305 --> 00:27:33,099
We thought it might
cheer you up.
583
00:27:33,182 --> 00:27:34,892
We heard about you and Jane.
584
00:27:34,934 --> 00:27:35,893
Jane, Jane.
585
00:27:35,976 --> 00:27:39,063
That name will
always remind me of her.
586
00:27:39,146 --> 00:27:41,982
I feel really bad
about all of this.
587
00:27:42,024 --> 00:27:44,026
If there's anything
that you need...
588
00:27:44,109 --> 00:27:45,945
Dr. Kevorkian's
home phone number?
589
00:27:45,945 --> 00:27:47,863
Nordberg, put it together.
590
00:27:47,905 --> 00:27:50,741
Frank, I want you to know
we're here for you.
591
00:27:50,783 --> 00:27:51,700
Thanks, Ed.
592
00:27:51,742 --> 00:27:52,785
Well, look who's here.
593
00:27:52,868 --> 00:27:55,246
Hi, Frank.
Nice to see you.
594
00:27:55,287 --> 00:27:58,415
Ed, I've got that data
for you on the bomb.
595
00:27:58,457 --> 00:27:59,833
What did you find out?
596
00:27:59,875 --> 00:28:02,252
The explosive is
a very fine powder.
597
00:28:02,294 --> 00:28:03,671
It tastes like...
598
00:28:03,712 --> 00:28:06,090
That would be fertilizer, Frank,
for another case.
599
00:28:06,131 --> 00:28:08,217
This is what I'm talking about.
600
00:28:08,300 --> 00:28:11,095
We detected a high quantity
of nitroglycerin.
601
00:28:11,136 --> 00:28:13,305
Can you tell us
where it came from?
602
00:28:13,347 --> 00:28:14,723
I'd be glad to.
603
00:28:14,765 --> 00:28:16,183
Billions of years ago,
604
00:28:16,225 --> 00:28:18,102
the Earth was a molten mass.
605
00:28:18,143 --> 00:28:20,020
Ted, I'm talking about the powder.
606
00:28:20,062 --> 00:28:22,397
We haven't got
a clue about that.
607
00:28:22,439 --> 00:28:24,316
Let me take that urine specimen.
608
00:28:24,358 --> 00:28:28,153
We found a detailed list
of the bomber's plans at the scenes.
609
00:28:28,195 --> 00:28:29,488
On a hunch we analyzed the paper.
610
00:28:29,571 --> 00:28:30,948
And you got something?
611
00:28:30,989 --> 00:28:33,951
Yes. The paper came
from Statesville Prison.
612
00:28:34,034 --> 00:28:35,577
Are you sure?
613
00:28:35,661 --> 00:28:37,955
Positive.
We analyzed the wood fibers
614
00:28:38,038 --> 00:28:41,124
and found them to be from
the rare Canary Island pine
615
00:28:41,166 --> 00:28:42,709
which grows only in Oregon.
616
00:28:42,751 --> 00:28:44,961
Contacting several paper mills
in that area
617
00:28:45,003 --> 00:28:47,672
led us to a distribution center
in Tacoma.
618
00:28:47,714 --> 00:28:49,758
Unfortunately,
that's where the trail ended.
619
00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:51,885
How'd you trace it
to Statesville Prison?
620
00:28:51,968 --> 00:28:54,096
Right here on the letterhead, Frank.
621
00:28:54,137 --> 00:28:55,597
After comparing handwriting samples
622
00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:56,973
with every known bomber
623
00:28:57,015 --> 00:28:58,892
currently serving a stretch
in Statesville,
624
00:28:58,934 --> 00:29:00,811
we came up with a suspect...
625
00:29:00,852 --> 00:29:01,811
Rocco Dillon.
626
00:29:01,895 --> 00:29:03,230
He's masterminding the bombings
627
00:29:03,313 --> 00:29:04,689
from inside the prison.
628
00:29:04,773 --> 00:29:06,566
Then there's only one way
to find out
629
00:29:06,608 --> 00:29:08,526
where Rocco's going
to strike next.
630
00:29:08,610 --> 00:29:10,820
We'll have to send someone
into Statesville Prison.
631
00:29:10,904 --> 00:29:12,238
I'll do it.
632
00:29:12,322 --> 00:29:14,240
I wouldn't feel right about that.
633
00:29:14,282 --> 00:29:17,285
If Rocco finds out you're a cop,
you might end up dead.
634
00:29:17,369 --> 00:29:19,537
"You might end up dead"
is my middle name.
635
00:29:19,579 --> 00:29:20,955
What about Jane?
636
00:29:20,997 --> 00:29:23,375
I don't know her middle name.
637
00:29:23,416 --> 00:29:24,584
I need the action.
638
00:29:24,667 --> 00:29:26,336
I'm going inside the big house.
639
00:29:26,419 --> 00:29:28,671
I think you might
want to see this.
640
00:29:28,671 --> 00:29:30,590
We're testing out a prototype
641
00:29:30,632 --> 00:29:32,509
for a new anti-carjacking device.
642
00:29:32,550 --> 00:29:34,302
We'll see how it works.
643
00:29:34,385 --> 00:29:35,261
Get out!
644
00:29:35,345 --> 00:29:36,471
No!
645
00:29:36,513 --> 00:29:38,264
Don't make me...
646
00:29:38,306 --> 00:29:40,058
Aah!
647
00:29:41,976 --> 00:29:43,311
Aah!
648
00:29:43,353 --> 00:29:46,648
We call it the Denver Jockstrap.
649
00:29:53,196 --> 00:29:54,989
After being retired for six months,
650
00:29:55,073 --> 00:29:56,908
I was finally back in action.
651
00:29:56,991 --> 00:29:58,826
Faster than you can say spread 'em,
652
00:29:58,910 --> 00:30:00,745
I was inside the cold, gray walls
653
00:30:00,828 --> 00:30:02,163
of Statesville Prison.
654
00:30:02,246 --> 00:30:04,582
I was surrounded by pimps,
rapists, and murderers.
655
00:30:04,665 --> 00:30:06,959
It was like being in the stands
656
00:30:07,043 --> 00:30:08,878
at a Los Angeles Raiders'game.
657
00:30:08,961 --> 00:30:11,297
It was going to take
all my police experience
658
00:30:11,380 --> 00:30:13,216
just to stay alive in here.
659
00:30:19,263 --> 00:30:21,098
[Bell Rings]
660
00:30:23,392 --> 00:30:25,937
After a long and generous
cavity search,
661
00:30:25,978 --> 00:30:28,105
I finally reached my destination...
662
00:30:28,189 --> 00:30:29,774
maximum security,
663
00:30:29,857 --> 00:30:31,942
home of some of
the most violent sociopaths
664
00:30:32,026 --> 00:30:33,402
in the country,
665
00:30:33,486 --> 00:30:35,905
and the worst of them all,
666
00:30:35,988 --> 00:30:36,906
Rocco Dillon.
667
00:30:39,033 --> 00:30:40,368
All right, in here.
668
00:30:40,451 --> 00:30:43,079
Ain't no prison yet could hold me.
669
00:30:43,120 --> 00:30:44,038
Attica!
670
00:30:44,080 --> 00:30:45,331
Attica!
671
00:30:45,372 --> 00:30:47,249
Power to the brothers!
672
00:30:47,291 --> 00:30:48,459
Kill whitey!
673
00:30:48,542 --> 00:30:50,211
Kill whitey!
674
00:30:50,294 --> 00:30:51,587
Knock it off!
675
00:30:54,006 --> 00:30:55,424
You're chirping awfully loud
676
00:30:55,466 --> 00:30:56,842
for a new canary.
677
00:30:56,884 --> 00:30:58,928
Keep flashing the big eyes,
678
00:30:59,011 --> 00:31:01,430
and I'll personally
balance and rotate your jaw.
679
00:31:01,513 --> 00:31:04,892
Hey! You know who you talking to?
680
00:31:04,975 --> 00:31:07,019
The man is Rocco Dillon.
681
00:31:07,102 --> 00:31:08,395
Where's your prison number?
682
00:31:08,479 --> 00:31:10,439
It's unlisted.
683
00:31:10,522 --> 00:31:14,026
Just call me
Nick "the Slasher" McGirk.
684
00:31:14,109 --> 00:31:16,403
Look, hamhead,
I'm the muscle in this pen.
685
00:31:16,487 --> 00:31:18,238
You just stay out of my way.
686
00:31:18,280 --> 00:31:19,573
You just watch your step, McGirk.
687
00:31:19,656 --> 00:31:21,033
Take it from me,
688
00:31:21,116 --> 00:31:23,243
this place here changes a man.
689
00:31:23,285 --> 00:31:24,703
Oh, yeah?
In what way?
690
00:31:24,745 --> 00:31:26,413
I used to be white.
691
00:31:27,623 --> 00:31:30,459
I was the drummer for the Osmonds.
692
00:31:30,501 --> 00:31:31,919
Screw with me,
693
00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:33,837
he'll make you feel pain
694
00:31:33,879 --> 00:31:35,214
like you never felt before.
695
00:31:35,255 --> 00:31:37,591
I know.
I remember the Osmonds.
696
00:31:37,674 --> 00:31:39,092
[Bell Rings]
697
00:31:39,176 --> 00:31:40,469
Better hit the rack, McGirk.
698
00:31:40,552 --> 00:31:41,887
Yeah, in a minute.
699
00:31:41,970 --> 00:31:43,805
First I want to make up a list
700
00:31:43,889 --> 00:31:45,724
of the people I'm going to kill
701
00:31:45,807 --> 00:31:47,643
in the next couple of days.
702
00:31:47,726 --> 00:31:49,603
Lights out!
Lock down in two minutes!
703
00:31:53,023 --> 00:31:56,318
My dearest snooky wookums
dumpling buns,
704
00:31:56,401 --> 00:31:58,236
I miss you so much.
705
00:31:58,320 --> 00:32:00,155
I haven't hurt this bad
706
00:32:00,238 --> 00:32:03,033
since the last time I was dumped.
707
00:32:03,116 --> 00:32:04,451
I remember it well.
708
00:32:04,534 --> 00:32:06,369
Her name was Gabriella.
709
00:32:06,453 --> 00:32:08,288
E were supposed to be married,
710
00:32:08,371 --> 00:32:10,540
but on the day of our wedding,
711
00:32:10,624 --> 00:32:12,751
she never showed up.
712
00:32:12,834 --> 00:32:16,046
Aah!
713
00:32:16,087 --> 00:32:17,505
I was heartbroken, destroyed.
714
00:32:17,547 --> 00:32:20,383
I figured she had fallen
for another man,
715
00:32:20,425 --> 00:32:22,218
someone who could do to her
716
00:32:22,302 --> 00:32:23,678
what I never could.
717
00:32:23,762 --> 00:32:25,597
I thought my life was over
718
00:32:25,680 --> 00:32:27,974
until that one glorious day.
719
00:32:28,058 --> 00:32:30,852
That was the day you became my wife.
720
00:32:30,935 --> 00:32:34,147
All our friends gathered
to celebrate our love.
721
00:32:34,230 --> 00:32:35,565
It seems like only yesterday.
722
00:32:35,648 --> 00:32:37,525
E were all so overjoyed.
723
00:32:37,567 --> 00:32:39,194
I remember how we wished
724
00:32:39,277 --> 00:32:41,112
we could take everyone with us.
725
00:32:41,196 --> 00:32:43,031
That was the happiest day
of my life.
726
00:32:43,114 --> 00:32:45,909
I'll never forget the plans
we made for our future.
727
00:32:45,992 --> 00:32:47,827
Things were going to be so perfect.
728
00:32:47,911 --> 00:32:50,705
E were going to get
that housekeeper you always wanted.
729
00:32:50,788 --> 00:32:52,665
Hi, Mr. D.
Hi, Mrs. D.
730
00:32:52,749 --> 00:32:54,083
And I knew that eventually
731
00:32:54,167 --> 00:32:55,501
our dream would come true.
732
00:32:55,585 --> 00:32:58,963
One day we'd have our own
little Frank Drebin, Jr.
733
00:32:59,047 --> 00:33:01,007
Shut up.
I'm trying to get some sleep.
734
00:33:01,090 --> 00:33:04,177
Nah, it's no use.
She'll never come back.
735
00:33:10,099 --> 00:33:13,019
*** You shake my nerves
and you rattle my brain ***
736
00:33:13,102 --> 00:33:15,897
*** Too much love
drives a man insane ***
737
00:33:15,980 --> 00:33:17,356
*** You broke my will ***
738
00:33:17,440 --> 00:33:18,774
*** But what a thrill ***
739
00:33:18,858 --> 00:33:21,652
*** Goodness gracious
Great balls of fire ***
740
00:33:21,736 --> 00:33:24,530
*** I laughed at love
'cause I thought it was funny ***
741
00:33:24,614 --> 00:33:27,491
*** You came along
and moved me, honey ***
742
00:33:27,575 --> 00:33:28,868
*** I changed my mind ***
743
00:33:28,951 --> 00:33:30,286
*** This love is fine ***
744
00:33:30,328 --> 00:33:33,623
*** Goodness gracious
Great balls of fire ******
745
00:33:36,500 --> 00:33:38,419
[Singing]
746
00:34:06,363 --> 00:34:09,450
Bend over and
pick it up for me,
747
00:34:09,533 --> 00:34:12,244
would you, lover?
748
00:34:12,286 --> 00:34:13,203
No problem.
749
00:34:24,131 --> 00:34:26,925
Rocco could tell from
my little escapade in the shower
750
00:34:26,967 --> 00:34:29,219
that I was well-endowed
with courage.
751
00:34:29,303 --> 00:34:31,138
Now I had to get on the inside.
752
00:34:31,221 --> 00:34:33,056
Like a blind man at an orgy,
753
00:34:33,140 --> 00:34:35,642
I was going to have to
feel things out.
754
00:34:35,767 --> 00:34:38,437
Tyrone, got the escape plans
right here.
755
00:34:38,478 --> 00:34:41,356
Just you and me.
756
00:34:41,440 --> 00:34:42,691
Burnett wants in, too.
757
00:34:42,774 --> 00:34:44,401
Burnett's one of the guards.
758
00:34:44,484 --> 00:34:46,778
I know, but he's unhappy here.
759
00:34:46,820 --> 00:34:48,864
All right, all right.
Whatever.
760
00:34:48,947 --> 00:34:51,325
Got it all worked out
right here.
761
00:34:54,244 --> 00:34:56,079
What's this?
762
00:34:56,163 --> 00:34:58,290
Another letter from your mommy?
763
00:34:58,373 --> 00:34:59,624
Hey, that's private, screw.
764
00:34:59,708 --> 00:35:01,001
Let's see what we have.
765
00:35:01,043 --> 00:35:02,961
Give the man back his letter.
766
00:35:03,044 --> 00:35:04,671
Buzz off, butter cheeks.
767
00:35:04,755 --> 00:35:08,091
What's so special
about a little letter?
768
00:35:09,134 --> 00:35:12,053
Wait a minute.
An escape plan.
769
00:35:12,095 --> 00:35:15,557
This is your ticket
to another 20 years, Dillon.
770
00:35:15,599 --> 00:35:17,851
If the warden gets
one look at this...
771
00:35:17,934 --> 00:35:21,396
Hey! You call this slop?
772
00:35:21,479 --> 00:35:23,815
Real slop has got
chunks of things in it!
773
00:35:23,898 --> 00:35:26,151
This is more like gruel!
774
00:35:26,234 --> 00:35:29,154
And this Chateau Le Blanc '68,
775
00:35:29,195 --> 00:35:32,073
it's supposed to be
served slightly chilled!
776
00:35:32,157 --> 00:35:33,658
This is room temperature!
777
00:35:33,658 --> 00:35:37,037
What do you think we are, animals?
778
00:35:37,120 --> 00:35:38,788
- No!
- No!
779
00:35:38,872 --> 00:35:40,248
What are we?
780
00:35:40,290 --> 00:35:43,084
Homo sapiens?
781
00:35:43,126 --> 00:35:45,003
You're right!
782
00:35:45,044 --> 00:35:46,921
We are men!
783
00:35:46,963 --> 00:35:48,423
We are men!
784
00:35:48,506 --> 00:35:50,425
We are men!
785
00:35:50,508 --> 00:35:52,218
We are men!
786
00:35:52,260 --> 00:35:54,637
We are men!
787
00:35:54,679 --> 00:35:55,597
We are men!
788
00:35:55,680 --> 00:35:57,265
Aah!
789
00:36:03,104 --> 00:36:05,148
Come on, knock it off!
790
00:36:05,189 --> 00:36:06,691
Everybody stop!
791
00:36:06,774 --> 00:36:07,984
Whoa!
792
00:36:18,870 --> 00:36:20,538
Don't! No! Stop!
793
00:36:22,957 --> 00:36:24,542
Aah!
794
00:36:24,584 --> 00:36:26,002
Your left hand blue.
795
00:36:26,043 --> 00:36:28,796
Who's got their hand
in my pocket?
796
00:36:36,846 --> 00:36:37,722
Eat them!
797
00:36:37,805 --> 00:36:39,640
Come on, son.
You can do it.
798
00:36:39,724 --> 00:36:41,309
Eat some beans.
799
00:37:01,787 --> 00:37:03,164
You saved my bacon, McGirk.
800
00:37:03,247 --> 00:37:05,082
I'd be in solitary right now
801
00:37:05,166 --> 00:37:06,375
if you hadn't done that.
802
00:37:06,458 --> 00:37:07,960
Listen, I've been watching you.
803
00:37:08,043 --> 00:37:09,420
You handle yourself really good.
804
00:37:09,503 --> 00:37:10,504
Really well.
805
00:37:10,546 --> 00:37:12,298
I got something big coming up
806
00:37:12,381 --> 00:37:13,882
on the outside.
807
00:37:13,966 --> 00:37:15,634
I could use you in my gang.
808
00:37:15,718 --> 00:37:17,636
You got a dental plan?
809
00:37:17,678 --> 00:37:18,595
Full coverage.
810
00:37:18,637 --> 00:37:20,681
We got to bust out
of this playpen.
811
00:37:20,764 --> 00:37:23,267
We still have our escape plan.
Let's have it.
812
00:37:23,308 --> 00:37:24,685
It's a good plan.
813
00:37:24,727 --> 00:37:26,186
I've had better.
814
00:37:26,228 --> 00:37:29,523
Listen, I've got a foolproof plan.
815
00:37:29,565 --> 00:37:32,067
Oh, my God.
They got Tyrone.
816
00:37:32,067 --> 00:37:36,238
Can't... Can't we all just get along?
817
00:37:41,076 --> 00:37:42,953
Now that Tyrone was in solitary,
818
00:37:42,995 --> 00:37:44,872
it was just me and Rocco.
819
00:37:44,913 --> 00:37:47,291
He had no choice but to trust me...
820
00:37:47,332 --> 00:37:48,917
Shh! Hold on.
821
00:37:49,001 --> 00:37:50,627
[Whispering]
Okay, anyway.
822
00:37:50,669 --> 00:37:53,046
I convinced Rocco to dig a tunnel.
823
00:37:53,088 --> 00:37:55,465
It was that
or escape in a laundry truck.
824
00:37:55,507 --> 00:37:57,843
The thought of lying
in a pile of underwear
825
00:37:57,884 --> 00:37:59,302
nose-down in skid marks
826
00:37:59,344 --> 00:38:02,055
didn't leave a good taste
in my mouth.
827
00:38:05,350 --> 00:38:07,728
Disposing of the dirt
was a problem I solved
828
00:38:07,769 --> 00:38:09,187
early in the construction.
829
00:38:09,229 --> 00:38:10,605
Outside of some major chafing,
830
00:38:10,647 --> 00:38:12,941
we were making good progress.
831
00:38:13,024 --> 00:38:14,359
E kept digging.
832
00:38:14,443 --> 00:38:16,278
At night, dummies gave
the guards the impression
833
00:38:16,361 --> 00:38:17,904
we were still in our cell.
834
00:38:17,988 --> 00:38:19,072
Lights out.
835
00:38:19,156 --> 00:38:21,366
There was more dirt
than I anticipated.
836
00:38:21,408 --> 00:38:23,952
Disposing of it
was becoming tricky business.
837
00:38:40,593 --> 00:38:43,054
Aah!
838
00:38:45,390 --> 00:38:47,308
Safe!
839
00:38:47,392 --> 00:38:49,978
*** 99 bottles of beer on the wall ***
840
00:38:50,019 --> 00:38:51,563
*** 99 bottles of beer ***
841
00:38:51,604 --> 00:38:54,023
*** If one of those bottles
should happen to fall ***
842
00:38:54,065 --> 00:38:55,692
*** 98 bottles of beer on the wall ***
843
00:38:55,775 --> 00:38:57,735
*** 98 bottles of beer on the wall ***
844
00:38:57,819 --> 00:38:59,445
*** 98 bottles of beer ***
845
00:38:59,487 --> 00:39:00,905
Where are you going?
846
00:39:00,947 --> 00:39:03,616
You're not thinking
of Frank again, are you?
847
00:39:03,658 --> 00:39:05,368
They're playing our song.
848
00:39:05,451 --> 00:39:08,079
I understand.
Take your time.
849
00:39:08,121 --> 00:39:09,372
*** If one of those bottles
should happen to fall ***
850
00:39:09,414 --> 00:39:11,291
*** 96 bottles of beer on the wall ******
851
00:39:23,594 --> 00:39:25,221
Well, hello, there.
852
00:39:25,304 --> 00:39:27,807
I'm hauling a load of rice cakes.
853
00:39:27,890 --> 00:39:29,725
What do you say
to coming with me?
854
00:39:29,809 --> 00:39:30,893
No, thank you.
855
00:39:30,977 --> 00:39:32,520
Then how about a kiss?
856
00:39:32,603 --> 00:39:33,521
No.
857
00:39:33,563 --> 00:39:35,481
When a woman says "no,"
she means "yes."
858
00:39:35,565 --> 00:39:36,941
How about that kiss?
859
00:39:37,024 --> 00:39:38,067
Yes.
860
00:39:38,150 --> 00:39:41,237
What do you mean "no"?
I know your type.
861
00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:44,115
Come on, baby.
We're two of a kind.
862
00:39:44,156 --> 00:39:45,074
Ow!
863
00:39:45,116 --> 00:39:46,951
Aah!
864
00:39:46,993 --> 00:39:48,119
Aah!
865
00:39:51,497 --> 00:39:54,709
Aah!
866
00:39:54,792 --> 00:39:56,127
Oh, my God!
867
00:39:56,210 --> 00:39:58,003
You killed him!
868
00:39:58,045 --> 00:39:59,880
It was an accident.
Let's call the police.
869
00:39:59,922 --> 00:40:01,799
Come to your senses.
You killed a man.
870
00:40:01,841 --> 00:40:04,468
You're a hero to every woman
in this country.
871
00:40:04,552 --> 00:40:07,429
We have to call Frank.
He'll protect us.
872
00:40:07,513 --> 00:40:08,556
Frank is a man.
873
00:40:08,639 --> 00:40:10,349
He'll see you
locked away forever.
874
00:40:11,892 --> 00:40:13,561
Jane, I want to join you
875
00:40:13,602 --> 00:40:17,106
to help you kill
as many men as possible.
876
00:40:17,189 --> 00:40:18,065
Yipes!
877
00:40:19,191 --> 00:40:20,901
Louise, do what you have to.
878
00:40:20,985 --> 00:40:22,820
I'm calling Frank.
879
00:40:24,947 --> 00:40:26,991
Oh, boy, did that hurt.
880
00:40:27,074 --> 00:40:28,617
Be home, Frank, please.
881
00:40:28,701 --> 00:40:30,077
Answer the phone, snuggy pants.
882
00:40:30,160 --> 00:40:31,495
[Telephone Picks Up]
883
00:40:31,578 --> 00:40:32,538
Frank!
884
00:40:32,579 --> 00:40:33,706
Hi, this is Frank.
885
00:40:33,789 --> 00:40:35,082
And Jane.
886
00:40:35,124 --> 00:40:37,543
E're the Drebins.
E're not home right now,
887
00:40:37,626 --> 00:40:38,836
so leave a message.
888
00:40:38,919 --> 00:40:40,087
[Laughter]
889
00:40:40,129 --> 00:40:41,380
Hich button do I press?
890
00:40:41,463 --> 00:40:43,298
No, not that one.
891
00:40:43,382 --> 00:40:44,258
[Dial Tone]
892
00:40:53,475 --> 00:40:55,811
"Tanya"?
It was another woman.
893
00:40:55,894 --> 00:40:57,354
Frank was telling the truth.
894
00:40:57,437 --> 00:40:58,647
Honeymoon Bay Road.
895
00:40:58,730 --> 00:41:01,024
I bet they're all alone
there right now.
896
00:41:01,108 --> 00:41:02,234
Oh, Frank!
897
00:41:02,317 --> 00:41:03,193
Cell inspection.
898
00:41:03,276 --> 00:41:04,403
[Bell Rings]
899
00:41:05,529 --> 00:41:08,740
There's been a rumor
of a possible breakout.
900
00:41:08,824 --> 00:41:10,617
If we suspect anyone
901
00:41:10,701 --> 00:41:13,036
of attempting to escape,
902
00:41:13,078 --> 00:41:16,206
they will be punished severely.
903
00:41:16,289 --> 00:41:18,792
Once word of the escape was out,
904
00:41:18,834 --> 00:41:20,210
we had to move quickly
905
00:41:20,293 --> 00:41:21,711
so we headed for the tunnel.
906
00:41:21,795 --> 00:41:24,923
The last few feet
had to be dug on the run.
907
00:41:24,965 --> 00:41:27,425
47 yards would take us
beyond the prison walls.
908
00:41:27,509 --> 00:41:28,885
May he rest in peace
909
00:41:28,927 --> 00:41:31,805
in the arms of our loving...
Jesus Christ!
910
00:41:31,846 --> 00:41:33,556
Amen.
911
00:41:33,598 --> 00:41:35,600
Rocco had arranged for a getaway car
912
00:41:35,684 --> 00:41:37,686
to meet us at our destination.
913
00:41:37,769 --> 00:41:39,771
After making a slight adjustment
in our direction,
914
00:41:39,854 --> 00:41:42,857
we finally arrived
at the rendezvous point...
915
00:41:42,941 --> 00:41:45,485
a Los Angeles City high school.
916
00:41:58,706 --> 00:42:00,083
Hey, that was close.
917
00:42:00,166 --> 00:42:02,877
Hey, Rocco, who's the old hag?
918
00:42:02,961 --> 00:42:05,338
She take one in the face?
919
00:42:05,421 --> 00:42:07,298
She's my mother.
920
00:42:07,340 --> 00:42:08,967
Mrs. Dillon, your son is a ruthless,
921
00:42:09,008 --> 00:42:10,218
sadistic, cold-blooded animal.
922
00:42:10,301 --> 00:42:12,470
You must be very proud of him.
923
00:42:12,553 --> 00:42:13,596
I am.
924
00:42:13,680 --> 00:42:16,808
Ma, I want you to meet
a real square egg...
925
00:42:16,849 --> 00:42:18,184
Nick "the Slasher" McGirk.
926
00:42:18,267 --> 00:42:20,436
There's fresh clothes in the back.
927
00:42:20,520 --> 00:42:21,854
Rocco's mom was quiet.
928
00:42:21,938 --> 00:42:23,022
I had a feeling
929
00:42:23,106 --> 00:42:26,192
she didn't care for me coming along.
930
00:42:26,275 --> 00:42:28,569
Like a midget at a urinal,
931
00:42:28,653 --> 00:42:32,156
I was going to have to
stay on my toes.
932
00:42:41,624 --> 00:42:43,709
Hey! Stop!
933
00:42:48,089 --> 00:42:49,715
Oh, Frank.
934
00:43:04,772 --> 00:43:06,190
Well, it wasn't my fault.
935
00:43:06,232 --> 00:43:08,609
That cow shouldn't have been
standing in the road.
936
00:43:08,651 --> 00:43:10,986
Hurry up.
You're letting the flies in.
937
00:43:11,028 --> 00:43:12,446
What do you think, kid?
938
00:43:12,488 --> 00:43:13,864
It's a great setup.
939
00:43:13,906 --> 00:43:16,283
No phone, miles from
the nearest town,
940
00:43:16,325 --> 00:43:17,701
Playboy Channel, perfect.
941
00:43:17,743 --> 00:43:18,661
High stakes,
942
00:43:18,702 --> 00:43:20,579
but I'm here for the action.
943
00:43:20,621 --> 00:43:22,039
What are we going after,
944
00:43:22,081 --> 00:43:23,332
bank, armored car, Dodgers' payroll?
945
00:43:23,374 --> 00:43:26,835
You're getting a little bit
too nosy, McGirk.
946
00:43:26,877 --> 00:43:28,420
Relax, Ma.
947
00:43:28,504 --> 00:43:31,840
She's been itching
to try out her new gun.
948
00:43:31,882 --> 00:43:33,592
I know the feeling.
949
00:43:51,360 --> 00:43:53,445
It was Tanya.
950
00:43:53,529 --> 00:43:55,364
That bathing suit was never happier.
951
00:43:55,447 --> 00:43:58,700
I had only a second
to admire the view.
952
00:43:58,784 --> 00:44:00,160
I had to watch out.
953
00:44:00,244 --> 00:44:02,371
If she made me as a cop,
954
00:44:02,412 --> 00:44:03,705
I'd be tonight's meat loaf.
955
00:44:03,789 --> 00:44:05,082
Come here, sexy.
956
00:44:05,165 --> 00:44:06,500
You're all woman.
957
00:44:06,583 --> 00:44:09,002
I could tell just
by looking at you.
958
00:44:09,086 --> 00:44:10,420
Hey, she's referring to me.
959
00:44:10,504 --> 00:44:13,298
Uh... I was talking
about your mother.
960
00:44:14,800 --> 00:44:17,177
That's no way to be walking around.
961
00:44:17,219 --> 00:44:18,678
Get some clothes on.
962
00:44:18,762 --> 00:44:20,680
What are you doing
in my bathing suit?
963
00:44:22,182 --> 00:44:23,558
Hey, who's the stud?
964
00:44:23,642 --> 00:44:26,269
I'd like you to meet
the newest member
965
00:44:26,353 --> 00:44:27,729
of our gang.
966
00:44:27,813 --> 00:44:30,815
Slasher McGirk,
meet Tanya Peters.
967
00:44:30,899 --> 00:44:32,025
Wait a minute.
968
00:44:32,108 --> 00:44:33,818
Don't I know you from somewhere?
969
00:44:33,902 --> 00:44:35,403
I smelled cop on him
970
00:44:35,487 --> 00:44:36,821
the minute I saw him.
971
00:44:36,905 --> 00:44:38,740
I get that all the time.
972
00:44:38,823 --> 00:44:40,450
The underwear ads,
played everywhere.
973
00:44:40,533 --> 00:44:43,578
Are you saying you're not a cop?
974
00:44:43,620 --> 00:44:45,580
Well, yeah.
975
00:44:45,664 --> 00:44:46,915
That's good enough for me.
976
00:44:46,998 --> 00:44:48,124
- Me, too.
- I'm fine.
977
00:44:48,208 --> 00:44:50,335
All right.
Glad that's all cleared up.
978
00:44:50,418 --> 00:44:53,213
Ma, why don't you two
kiss and make up?
979
00:44:53,296 --> 00:44:54,172
Huh?
980
00:44:54,255 --> 00:44:56,299
Well, all right.
981
00:45:00,637 --> 00:45:01,471
[Spits]
982
00:45:06,142 --> 00:45:08,269
Now that's more like it.
983
00:45:24,702 --> 00:45:25,578
Ow.
984
00:45:28,956 --> 00:45:31,334
I had to get a message
to Police Squad.
985
00:45:31,376 --> 00:45:34,045
This was turning into
more than I could handle.
986
00:45:34,087 --> 00:45:35,963
No phone and miles
from civilization,
987
00:45:36,005 --> 00:45:37,882
my prospects looked bleaker
than a gerbil's
988
00:45:37,924 --> 00:45:39,342
in a bathhouse.
989
00:45:39,383 --> 00:45:40,760
Who's down there?
990
00:45:42,011 --> 00:45:43,846
Slasher...
991
00:45:43,930 --> 00:45:45,306
have you seen my pigeon?
992
00:45:46,432 --> 00:45:48,601
Pigeon?
What pigeon?
993
00:45:48,684 --> 00:45:50,978
What are you doing?
994
00:45:51,062 --> 00:45:55,149
I'm... just contemplating
my next move.
995
00:45:55,191 --> 00:45:57,401
Your bishop is exposed.
996
00:45:57,485 --> 00:45:59,111
It's these pants.
997
00:45:59,195 --> 00:46:01,238
I usually wear a fuller cut.
998
00:46:01,280 --> 00:46:02,698
You're all man.
999
00:46:02,740 --> 00:46:04,325
I like that in my men.
1000
00:46:04,408 --> 00:46:06,243
You're coming on
to me big-time, sister.
1001
00:46:06,327 --> 00:46:08,579
You're purring like a kitten
with a fresh mouse,
1002
00:46:08,662 --> 00:46:10,372
but we got a problem.
1003
00:46:10,456 --> 00:46:11,332
You're Jewish?
1004
00:46:11,415 --> 00:46:13,209
No. You're Rocco's girl.
1005
00:46:13,292 --> 00:46:14,877
In my book, that chapter's called
1006
00:46:14,960 --> 00:46:16,587
"Look, but don't touch."
1007
00:46:19,048 --> 00:46:21,217
I could have two lovers.
1008
00:46:21,300 --> 00:46:23,469
Kinky. I like my sex
1009
00:46:23,511 --> 00:46:25,387
the way I play basketball...
1010
00:46:25,429 --> 00:46:28,766
one-on-one and with
as little dribbling as possible.
1011
00:46:36,482 --> 00:46:39,109
Oh, you're tense, Slasher.
1012
00:46:39,193 --> 00:46:41,528
Well, I could relax a little more
1013
00:46:41,612 --> 00:46:43,822
if I knew what was
going on tomorrow.
1014
00:46:43,864 --> 00:46:46,825
You wouldn't know anything
about that, would you?
1015
00:46:46,909 --> 00:46:50,162
All I know is it's downtown and...
1016
00:46:50,245 --> 00:46:51,622
big.
1017
00:46:51,705 --> 00:46:54,500
That's the way I like it.
1018
00:46:54,583 --> 00:46:56,335
What else?
1019
00:46:56,418 --> 00:46:58,420
Just this.
1020
00:47:01,381 --> 00:47:02,716
What are you doing?
1021
00:47:02,799 --> 00:47:05,052
Thank you for the advice.
1022
00:47:05,135 --> 00:47:07,387
I'll try that recipe out,
Miss Peters.
1023
00:47:07,471 --> 00:47:08,764
How could you?
1024
00:47:08,805 --> 00:47:10,265
Just shove your tongue
1025
00:47:10,349 --> 00:47:12,017
as far down his throat
as you can.
1026
00:47:12,100 --> 00:47:13,101
Oh...
1027
00:47:13,185 --> 00:47:16,021
Quiet.
You're not supposed to know me here.
1028
00:47:16,104 --> 00:47:18,231
That's a good-bye kiss, sister.
1029
00:47:18,273 --> 00:47:20,400
What's all this?
Who's the skirt?
1030
00:47:20,484 --> 00:47:21,860
Just some dizzy dame.
1031
00:47:21,943 --> 00:47:23,695
Probably her car broke down.
1032
00:47:23,779 --> 00:47:25,614
I'll take her to the bus depot.
1033
00:47:25,697 --> 00:47:26,615
She's married.
1034
00:47:26,698 --> 00:47:28,784
What if her husband comes looking?
1035
00:47:28,867 --> 00:47:30,410
He must be a great guy.
1036
00:47:30,494 --> 00:47:31,620
He breaks promises.
1037
00:47:31,703 --> 00:47:34,831
Look at you, traipsing all over,
just to spite him.
1038
00:47:34,873 --> 00:47:35,832
He left me.
1039
00:47:35,916 --> 00:47:36,833
You left him.
1040
00:47:36,875 --> 00:47:37,918
You should talk.
1041
00:47:38,001 --> 00:47:40,003
- Listen to you.
- Listen to you.
1042
00:47:40,086 --> 00:47:41,379
- Listen to you.
- Listen to you.
1043
00:47:41,463 --> 00:47:42,839
- Listen to you!
- Listen to you!
1044
00:47:42,923 --> 00:47:45,050
Jeez, you two, knock it off!
1045
00:47:45,133 --> 00:47:46,092
You'd think you're married.
1046
00:47:46,176 --> 00:47:48,011
What do you want to do with her?
1047
00:47:48,094 --> 00:47:49,429
Well, one thing's for sure.
1048
00:47:49,471 --> 00:47:51,514
There's no room for her here.
1049
00:47:51,514 --> 00:47:53,475
I say we bump her off.
1050
00:47:53,516 --> 00:47:54,893
Let's plug her right here.
1051
00:47:54,976 --> 00:47:56,811
I've been on jobs
where things went hooey.
1052
00:47:56,895 --> 00:47:58,688
I would have given anything
for a hostage.
1053
00:47:58,730 --> 00:48:01,274
We all know
women make the best hostages.
1054
00:48:01,357 --> 00:48:03,151
They're smaller,
easy to take along,
1055
00:48:03,234 --> 00:48:04,319
eat less, smell nice.
1056
00:48:04,402 --> 00:48:07,781
Yeah, we got us
an insurance policy.
1057
00:48:07,864 --> 00:48:09,741
Good thinking, kid.
1058
00:48:09,782 --> 00:48:11,201
Now let's get some shut-eye.
1059
00:48:11,284 --> 00:48:13,620
We got a big day ahead of us.
1060
00:48:18,583 --> 00:48:19,918
All right, it's rigged.
1061
00:48:20,001 --> 00:48:22,253
Keep your eye on the tower, Slasher.
1062
00:48:22,337 --> 00:48:24,172
It's what's going to happen tonight.
1063
00:48:24,255 --> 00:48:26,382
Hey, aren't we awfully far away?
1064
00:48:26,466 --> 00:48:28,134
Oh!
1065
00:48:28,217 --> 00:48:29,469
All right, now, pay attention.
1066
00:48:29,552 --> 00:48:32,347
On the top of that tower's a device
1067
00:48:32,430 --> 00:48:34,557
that's going to net us
5 million bucks.
1068
00:48:34,557 --> 00:48:36,601
It's a little thing
I've been working on.
1069
00:48:36,642 --> 00:48:38,102
We're going to detonate it
1070
00:48:38,186 --> 00:48:40,021
at an event
the world will be watching.
1071
00:48:40,104 --> 00:48:41,439
Your crowning achievement.
1072
00:48:41,522 --> 00:48:43,316
It's for both of us, Ma.
1073
00:48:43,357 --> 00:48:44,275
All set!
1074
00:48:44,358 --> 00:48:45,276
Set!
1075
00:49:07,381 --> 00:49:08,799
Very impressive.
1076
00:49:08,799 --> 00:49:10,718
Heh-heh-heh-heh.
1077
00:49:10,760 --> 00:49:11,677
Cool.
1078
00:49:11,719 --> 00:49:13,596
Heh-heh-heh-heh.
1079
00:49:13,637 --> 00:49:14,555
Cool.
1080
00:49:19,351 --> 00:49:21,687
Yes, America will be
brought to its knees
1081
00:49:21,729 --> 00:49:22,980
by this ultimate terrorist act.
1082
00:49:23,022 --> 00:49:25,524
This will be more embarrassing
to the United States
1083
00:49:25,566 --> 00:49:26,984
than Tonya Harding.
1084
00:49:27,026 --> 00:49:29,361
We're almost there.
I don't want to miss this.
1085
00:49:29,403 --> 00:49:31,322
Give my regards to Mrs. Khadafy.
1086
00:49:31,322 --> 00:49:33,449
Tell her "thanks" for the cookies.
1087
00:49:35,200 --> 00:49:37,077
It's another beautiful night
in Los Angeles,
1088
00:49:37,119 --> 00:49:38,996
and the stars are shining bright
1089
00:49:39,038 --> 00:49:41,415
for the 66th annual Academy Awards.
1090
00:49:41,498 --> 00:49:43,459
Thousands of fans are clamoring
1091
00:49:43,500 --> 00:49:46,545
to get a glimpse of
their favorite celebrities.
1092
00:49:46,628 --> 00:49:48,088
Here are two of them.
1093
00:49:48,130 --> 00:49:50,507
It's eird Al Yankovic
and Vanna hite.
1094
00:49:59,641 --> 00:50:02,060
Slasher, put the dame in the trunk.
1095
00:50:02,144 --> 00:50:05,731
I'll meet you and Ma around back
in 10 minutes.
1096
00:50:05,814 --> 00:50:07,316
Got the passes?
1097
00:50:08,609 --> 00:50:11,069
We pull this off,
it's 5 million big ones.
1098
00:50:11,153 --> 00:50:12,070
Not bad.
1099
00:50:12,154 --> 00:50:13,947
What's going to happen to me?
1100
00:50:14,031 --> 00:50:15,365
Shh! I have an idea.
1101
00:50:15,449 --> 00:50:17,868
All right, Slasher.
You know what to do.
1102
00:50:17,909 --> 00:50:19,953
Right.
Check all the fluid levels.
1103
00:50:19,995 --> 00:50:21,705
No, you muffinhead, the dame.
1104
00:50:21,788 --> 00:50:22,956
Keep an eye on her.
1105
00:50:23,040 --> 00:50:25,542
We hit trouble,
she's a bullet shield.
1106
00:50:28,503 --> 00:50:30,255
Ladies and gentlemen,
1107
00:50:30,338 --> 00:50:32,883
here now to present the Academy's
Lifetime Achievement Award
1108
00:50:32,966 --> 00:50:34,843
is James Simmons.
1109
00:50:34,926 --> 00:50:36,303
Go to clip.
Aspirin, please.
1110
00:50:36,344 --> 00:50:38,346
Go to 3. Ready 4.
1111
00:50:38,430 --> 00:50:42,267
This year's Lifetime Achievement
Award winner's credits include
1112
00:50:42,350 --> 00:50:44,186
some of the greatest moments
1113
00:50:44,269 --> 00:50:45,896
ever captured on celluloid.
1114
00:50:45,979 --> 00:50:49,399
Films such as
Sandals and Loincloth, 1958,
1115
00:50:49,482 --> 00:50:51,818
Sweaty Boat Men, 1959,
1116
00:50:51,860 --> 00:50:54,988
The Leather-clad Centurion, 1960,
1117
00:50:55,030 --> 00:50:58,491
and his first color feature in 1966,
1118
00:50:58,575 --> 00:51:00,493
Big Shiny Spears.
1119
00:51:05,790 --> 00:51:09,210
Okay, there's the man
from Bryce/Porterhouse.
1120
00:51:09,294 --> 00:51:11,171
He's the guy that guards
the envelopes
1121
00:51:11,212 --> 00:51:12,422
until they're handed out.
1122
00:51:12,505 --> 00:51:14,299
He's not going to budge
from that table.
1123
00:51:14,382 --> 00:51:15,800
You know what to do.
1124
00:51:15,884 --> 00:51:17,760
Distract him
so I can plant the bomb.
1125
00:51:17,802 --> 00:51:20,138
Accepting the award
for Mr. Broncowitz
1126
00:51:20,180 --> 00:51:21,890
is Margaret Redfeather.
1127
00:51:38,448 --> 00:51:40,158
That ought to do it.
1128
00:51:40,241 --> 00:51:42,201
You'll never get away with this.
1129
00:51:42,285 --> 00:51:44,871
Rocco's going to kill you,
whoever you are.
1130
00:51:44,954 --> 00:51:46,456
Frank Drebin, Police Squad.
1131
00:51:46,539 --> 00:51:47,915
Isn't it a little unusual?
1132
00:51:47,999 --> 00:51:49,834
It's happened to me
a couple of times.
1133
00:51:49,917 --> 00:51:51,252
Now here's the plan.
1134
00:51:51,335 --> 00:51:53,754
Your chances are one in a million.
1135
00:51:53,838 --> 00:51:55,631
That's still better
than any state lottery.
1136
00:51:55,673 --> 00:51:57,175
Look, I'm the good guy.
1137
00:51:57,258 --> 00:51:59,760
I can't let the bad guys win.
1138
00:51:59,844 --> 00:52:01,679
Our children can't be
raised in fear.
1139
00:52:01,762 --> 00:52:03,681
They're going to
blow that place sky-high.
1140
00:52:03,764 --> 00:52:05,099
It'll be a tragedy,
1141
00:52:05,182 --> 00:52:08,269
unless, of course,
it happens during a dance number.
1142
00:52:15,568 --> 00:52:16,944
[Giggling]
1143
00:52:24,076 --> 00:52:25,494
Does that radio work?
1144
00:52:25,578 --> 00:52:27,037
[Speaking Arabic]
1145
00:52:31,041 --> 00:52:32,418
Call Police Squad.
1146
00:52:32,459 --> 00:52:34,211
Tell them Frank Drebin says...
1147
00:52:34,253 --> 00:52:35,296
[Speaking Jamaican]
1148
00:52:40,634 --> 00:52:41,802
Forget it.
1149
00:52:43,345 --> 00:52:46,348
I wonder what the devil he wanted.
1150
00:52:50,728 --> 00:52:51,979
Hold on.
1151
00:52:52,062 --> 00:52:54,481
Sergeant Frank Drebin,
detective lieutenant, Police Squad.
1152
00:52:54,565 --> 00:52:56,066
Yeah, and I'm Robert De Niro.
1153
00:52:56,150 --> 00:52:58,694
Mr. De Niro,
we've got to get inside.
1154
00:52:58,736 --> 00:53:01,155
You and 10,000 other people.
Now, move along.
1155
00:53:01,238 --> 00:53:02,614
Movie stars only.
1156
00:53:02,698 --> 00:53:03,740
Come on.
1157
00:53:03,824 --> 00:53:05,868
I've got a better idea.
1158
00:53:05,909 --> 00:53:07,578
And cue talent.
1159
00:53:07,661 --> 00:53:10,455
And now, to present the award
for Best Supporting Actress
1160
00:53:10,497 --> 00:53:12,124
are Mariel Hemingway
1161
00:53:12,207 --> 00:53:13,709
and Elliott Gould.
1162
00:53:22,968 --> 00:53:24,511
Thank you.
1163
00:53:24,594 --> 00:53:27,556
The nominees for
Best Supporting Actress are...
1164
00:53:27,639 --> 00:53:29,933
Mary Lou Retton...
Fatal Affair,
1165
00:53:29,975 --> 00:53:33,228
one woman's ordeal to overcome
the death of her cat,
1166
00:53:33,270 --> 00:53:35,897
set against the background
of the Hindenburg disaster.
1167
00:53:38,316 --> 00:53:40,485
[Pop Pop Pop]
1168
00:53:41,778 --> 00:53:44,281
Morgan Fairchild... Final Proposal,
1169
00:53:44,322 --> 00:53:46,324
one courageous pioneer woman's
1170
00:53:46,408 --> 00:53:48,451
triumphant victory over bulimia,
1171
00:53:48,535 --> 00:53:51,079
set against the background
of the Donner Party crossing.
1172
00:53:54,541 --> 00:53:56,001
Ahem. Ahem.
1173
00:53:58,878 --> 00:54:00,005
[Pop Pop]
1174
00:54:08,013 --> 00:54:10,890
Very sorry about this,
but it's official police business.
1175
00:54:14,102 --> 00:54:16,271
Shannen Doherty... Basic Analysis,
1176
00:54:16,312 --> 00:54:18,773
one woman's triumph
over a yeast infection,
1177
00:54:18,857 --> 00:54:22,735
set against the tragic
Buffalo Bills' season of 1991.
1178
00:54:32,745 --> 00:54:33,871
Thank you, Sheriff.
1179
00:54:33,913 --> 00:54:36,666
Still no word of Frank
or Rocco and his gang.
1180
00:54:36,749 --> 00:54:37,875
Frankly, I'm getting worried.
1181
00:54:37,959 --> 00:54:39,961
Frank should have phoned in by now.
1182
00:54:41,129 --> 00:54:42,505
[Beep Beep]
1183
00:54:51,681 --> 00:54:54,016
Let me just check
your tickets, folks.
1184
00:54:54,100 --> 00:54:56,394
Lovely gown.
Is that Cool Whip?
1185
00:54:56,477 --> 00:54:57,353
Uh-huh.
1186
00:54:57,436 --> 00:54:59,939
Tim and Erica Brown.
Enjoy the show.
1187
00:55:00,022 --> 00:55:03,568
Let's see,
Vanna White and Weird Al Yankovic.
1188
00:55:03,651 --> 00:55:06,320
Okay, enjoy the awards.
1189
00:55:06,445 --> 00:55:08,030
Ready 3... and 3!
1190
00:55:08,114 --> 00:55:11,200
And Florence Henderson...
Analysis of a Proposal...
1191
00:55:11,284 --> 00:55:12,660
Rocco could be anywhere.
1192
00:55:12,743 --> 00:55:15,246
He had time to plant the bomb.
Where could it be?
1193
00:55:15,329 --> 00:55:16,580
The winner is...
1194
00:55:16,664 --> 00:55:18,457
This is going to be dynamite.
1195
00:55:18,541 --> 00:55:20,376
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
1196
00:55:20,459 --> 00:55:22,753
Florence Henderson is going to win,
1197
00:55:22,837 --> 00:55:24,130
and it's about time.
1198
00:55:24,171 --> 00:55:27,007
No! The bomb is in
one of those envelopes.
1199
00:55:27,049 --> 00:55:27,967
You're right!
1200
00:55:28,008 --> 00:55:30,261
And the winner is...
1201
00:55:30,302 --> 00:55:31,679
- Aah!
- Aah!
1202
00:55:31,720 --> 00:55:33,681
Mary Lou Retton for Fatal Affair.
1203
00:55:33,764 --> 00:55:35,266
Yes! Yes!
1204
00:55:36,433 --> 00:55:38,769
Sorry. We were rooting
for Florence Henderson.
1205
00:55:38,853 --> 00:55:40,688
We've got to get to those envelopes
1206
00:55:40,771 --> 00:55:42,606
before they open any more of them.
1207
00:55:46,277 --> 00:55:47,528
Yes!
1208
00:55:50,614 --> 00:55:52,950
I never realized
there'd be this many.
1209
00:55:52,992 --> 00:55:54,910
They added 75 new categories.
1210
00:55:54,910 --> 00:55:57,287
"Best Actor in a Columbus Movie"?
1211
00:55:57,329 --> 00:55:59,707
To present the award
for Best Director,
1212
00:55:59,748 --> 00:56:02,084
is star of stage and screen...
Raquel elch
1213
00:56:02,126 --> 00:56:05,921
and the host of his own award-winning
talk show... Phil Donahue.
1214
00:56:05,963 --> 00:56:08,340
That might be
the envelope with the bomb.
1215
00:56:08,382 --> 00:56:09,341
Keep looking here.
1216
00:56:09,425 --> 00:56:11,260
One more second, Mr. Donahue.
1217
00:56:11,343 --> 00:56:12,886
Uhh!
1218
00:56:26,900 --> 00:56:29,194
Oh, my God!
Look at Donahue!
1219
00:56:36,618 --> 00:56:39,413
[Director]
Stop the stairs, Joey. Joey!
1220
00:56:39,496 --> 00:56:40,706
Whoa!
1221
00:56:40,789 --> 00:56:42,124
Thank you.
1222
00:56:42,207 --> 00:56:43,333
Ladies and gentlemen,
1223
00:56:43,375 --> 00:56:46,211
it's my pleasure
to present the award...
1224
00:56:51,133 --> 00:56:52,217
What the hell?
1225
00:56:54,970 --> 00:56:56,179
Jesus!
1226
00:56:56,221 --> 00:56:57,389
Go to commercial.
1227
00:56:57,472 --> 00:56:58,807
Easy, now, easy.
1228
00:56:58,890 --> 00:57:01,226
Talk to me.
What happened, Ma?
1229
00:57:01,309 --> 00:57:04,521
Slasher is Frank Drebin
of Police Squad.
1230
00:57:04,604 --> 00:57:06,815
That lousy, two-bit, copper punk!
1231
00:57:06,898 --> 00:57:08,733
I treat him like my brother,
1232
00:57:08,817 --> 00:57:10,235
the one I didn't kill.
1233
00:57:10,235 --> 00:57:11,653
He might find the bomb.
1234
00:57:11,695 --> 00:57:14,114
Not if I find him first.
1235
00:57:15,281 --> 00:57:16,991
Back from commercial
in five seconds.
1236
00:57:17,075 --> 00:57:20,036
Hurry with the mike
and cue Donahue, in 3, 2...
1237
00:57:20,120 --> 00:57:21,079
Ahem.
1238
00:57:22,664 --> 00:57:24,499
Read it.
Read the card, moron.
1239
00:57:27,377 --> 00:57:30,380
"Well, Raquel,
this certainly is a special evening.
1240
00:57:30,463 --> 00:57:31,965
Whew!
1241
00:57:32,006 --> 00:57:33,883
I can barely catch my breath."
1242
00:57:33,925 --> 00:57:35,802
"Turn it over to Raquel."
1243
00:57:35,843 --> 00:57:38,179
"Raquel: 'I'm used to being
out of breath, working out..."'
1244
00:57:38,263 --> 00:57:39,639
What's he doing?
1245
00:57:39,681 --> 00:57:41,557
"Hold for laughter and applause."
1246
00:57:41,599 --> 00:57:44,352
"To Phil: 'Gets me
out of breath just watching you."'
1247
00:57:44,435 --> 00:57:46,104
"To Raquel: 'Oh, Phil..."'
1248
00:57:46,187 --> 00:57:47,689
I'm supposed to read that.
1249
00:57:47,772 --> 00:57:50,108
"But let's get to
the subject at hand."
1250
00:57:50,191 --> 00:57:51,526
"Pick up the envelope..."
1251
00:57:51,609 --> 00:57:54,570
The nominees
for Best Director are...
1252
00:57:54,654 --> 00:57:56,322
Sir Richard Attenborough
1253
00:57:56,364 --> 00:57:59,700
for his musical
based on the life of Mother Teresa...
1254
00:57:59,742 --> 00:58:00,660
Mother.
1255
00:58:00,701 --> 00:58:01,994
*** Food!
I love food ***
1256
00:58:02,078 --> 00:58:03,454
*** And I'm really in the mood ***
1257
00:58:03,538 --> 00:58:05,164
*** For a big corn dog
or pupu platter ***
1258
00:58:05,248 --> 00:58:06,415
*** Two Ding Dongs
it doesn't matter ***
1259
00:58:06,457 --> 00:58:07,834
*** Add some Tuna Helper ***
1260
00:58:07,875 --> 00:58:09,293
*** I'll be racing back for more ***
1261
00:58:09,335 --> 00:58:10,753
*** But don't add any salsa ***
1262
00:58:10,795 --> 00:58:13,464
*** 'Cause I'll blow chunks
on the floor, hey ***
1263
00:58:13,548 --> 00:58:15,508
*** Ooh ***
1264
00:58:15,549 --> 00:58:17,260
*** Ooh ***
1265
00:58:17,301 --> 00:58:18,219
*** Ooh ***
1266
00:58:18,261 --> 00:58:20,179
*** Ya-hoo ******
1267
00:58:21,639 --> 00:58:25,017
Spike Lee...
X Two, The Merchandising.
1268
00:58:25,101 --> 00:58:26,560
Nordberg, look!
1269
00:58:26,644 --> 00:58:29,438
That's Frank at the Academy Awards.
1270
00:58:29,480 --> 00:58:30,606
How'd he get tickets?
1271
00:58:30,690 --> 00:58:31,774
Nordberg!
1272
00:58:31,857 --> 00:58:34,693
That's where Rocco Dillon
is going to strike next.
1273
00:58:34,735 --> 00:58:37,113
He's planning on blowing up
the Academy Awards.
1274
00:58:37,154 --> 00:58:38,531
We've got to get there.
1275
00:58:38,572 --> 00:58:40,658
Captain, we're not invited.
We're cops.
1276
00:58:41,951 --> 00:58:43,911
It's for you.
1277
00:58:43,994 --> 00:58:45,329
Nordberg,
1278
00:58:45,412 --> 00:58:46,789
Police Squad.
1279
00:58:46,872 --> 00:58:47,748
Hello? Hello?
1280
00:58:47,831 --> 00:58:49,667
All right, let's go!
Hustle!
1281
00:58:49,750 --> 00:58:52,586
Henderson, see about this phone.
I think it's broke.
1282
00:58:54,922 --> 00:58:57,716
And now, here are today's
Lucky Lotto numbers.
1283
00:58:57,800 --> 00:59:00,094
Get your tickets ready,
'cause here they come...
1284
00:59:00,177 --> 00:59:03,305
12, 22, 18 and 9.
1285
00:59:03,389 --> 00:59:04,640
- Ahh!
- Ahh!
1286
00:59:04,682 --> 00:59:07,309
And for his tale of
genetics gone haywire
1287
00:59:07,393 --> 00:59:09,019
in a retirement community,
1288
00:59:09,103 --> 00:59:12,481
Steven Spielberg... Geriatric Park.
1289
00:59:12,564 --> 00:59:14,900
[Rumbling]
1290
00:59:17,152 --> 00:59:18,695
- Aah!
- Aah!
1291
00:59:18,737 --> 00:59:20,197
[Coughing]
1292
00:59:20,280 --> 00:59:22,449
- Aah!
- Aah!
1293
00:59:22,533 --> 00:59:23,408
Ah...
1294
00:59:23,492 --> 00:59:24,368
Ah...
1295
00:59:24,451 --> 00:59:25,369
Ah... Ah...
1296
00:59:25,452 --> 00:59:28,163
Ah-choo!
1297
00:59:31,291 --> 00:59:34,670
And the winner is...
1298
00:59:34,753 --> 00:59:36,213
Uh,
1299
00:59:36,296 --> 00:59:39,383
Raquel, just a second.
I just had a thought.
1300
00:59:39,424 --> 00:59:40,425
Oh, Christ!
1301
00:59:40,509 --> 00:59:43,220
This show is being seen
all over the world.
1302
00:59:43,303 --> 00:59:46,098
I was thinking,
if we could send good thoughts,
1303
00:59:46,181 --> 00:59:47,557
transmit through these cameras,
1304
00:59:47,641 --> 00:59:49,267
to the leader of China...
1305
00:59:49,351 --> 00:59:51,895
Wing Wow Woo Tong...
1306
00:59:51,978 --> 00:59:55,398
so that they might
finally be nice.
1307
00:59:55,482 --> 00:59:56,608
Thank you.
1308
00:59:58,944 --> 01:00:01,196
And the winner is...
1309
01:00:01,279 --> 01:00:05,200
Uh, Raquel, so many
go to bed hungry in this nation.
1310
01:00:05,283 --> 01:00:06,993
Yet, cat food's full of tuna.
1311
01:00:07,077 --> 01:00:10,330
I can't help think
each time I go to the zoo
1312
01:00:10,413 --> 01:00:12,749
and see those porpoises
crammed into tiny tanks
1313
01:00:12,832 --> 01:00:14,709
what a waste that is.
1314
01:00:14,793 --> 01:00:16,670
Butcher half of them now.
1315
01:00:16,753 --> 01:00:19,089
That's hundreds of pounds
of dolphin meat
1316
01:00:19,130 --> 01:00:21,466
that could be fed to our cats,
1317
01:00:21,549 --> 01:00:23,885
freeing up that tuna
for our nation's hungry.
1318
01:00:29,224 --> 01:00:30,767
And... the winner is...
1319
01:00:30,850 --> 01:00:33,186
So many are, uh, cold,
1320
01:00:33,269 --> 01:00:35,563
shivering in the night.
So I say,
1321
01:00:35,647 --> 01:00:37,815
take those cats, skin them,
1322
01:00:37,899 --> 01:00:41,194
use their fur to keep hundreds warm.
1323
01:00:41,277 --> 01:00:43,655
Jesus, Phil!
1324
01:00:43,738 --> 01:00:45,448
And the winner is...
1325
01:00:54,624 --> 01:00:56,334
- You!
- Give me that!
1326
01:00:57,418 --> 01:00:58,669
Ohh!
1327
01:00:58,753 --> 01:01:00,171
Hyah!
1328
01:01:04,092 --> 01:01:05,384
Not one move.
1329
01:01:05,468 --> 01:01:06,636
That barrel's cold.
1330
01:01:06,719 --> 01:01:07,887
It's room temperature.
Let's go.
1331
01:01:09,013 --> 01:01:12,350
It's okay.
It's not the bomb.
1332
01:01:17,188 --> 01:01:18,105
Ohh!
1333
01:01:18,147 --> 01:01:19,565
Oh, no!
1334
01:01:19,649 --> 01:01:20,983
Jane?
1335
01:01:21,067 --> 01:01:22,443
Jane?
1336
01:01:22,526 --> 01:01:25,655
Big trouble... aah!
1337
01:01:25,780 --> 01:01:26,614
[Pop Pop Pop]
1338
01:01:26,656 --> 01:01:27,573
Jane?
1339
01:01:27,615 --> 01:01:28,991
[Pop Pop Pop]
1340
01:01:29,075 --> 01:01:30,868
Jane?
1341
01:01:30,951 --> 01:01:31,827
Silver hair...
1342
01:01:31,911 --> 01:01:33,037
About 6' 2"...
1343
01:01:33,120 --> 01:01:34,830
Looked like Phil Donahue.
1344
01:01:34,914 --> 01:01:35,790
Jane...
1345
01:01:35,873 --> 01:01:37,083
That's the guy!
1346
01:01:37,166 --> 01:01:38,376
Get him!
1347
01:01:39,835 --> 01:01:41,670
Ladies and gentlemen,
1348
01:01:41,754 --> 01:01:45,049
please welcome internationally
renowned actress and singing star...
1349
01:01:45,132 --> 01:01:46,300
Pia Zadora.
1350
01:01:46,383 --> 01:01:48,385
*** You're walkin' along the street ***
1351
01:01:48,469 --> 01:01:50,304
*** Or you're at a party... ***
1352
01:01:50,387 --> 01:01:51,263
There he is!
1353
01:01:51,347 --> 01:01:52,723
*** Or else you're alone... ***
1354
01:01:52,806 --> 01:01:53,849
Excuse me?
1355
01:01:53,933 --> 01:01:56,227
Isn't that snot on your shoe?
1356
01:01:56,310 --> 01:01:57,686
We've lost him!
1357
01:01:57,770 --> 01:02:00,314
I'll stay here.
You check the wings.
1358
01:02:00,397 --> 01:02:04,026
*** That this could be
the start of somethin' big ***
1359
01:02:04,068 --> 01:02:04,985
*** There's no... ***
1360
01:02:05,027 --> 01:02:06,862
Oh, no!
Not him again.
1361
01:02:06,945 --> 01:02:08,364
Please, God.
1362
01:02:08,447 --> 01:02:09,698
He got away.
1363
01:02:09,740 --> 01:02:12,618
*** Who knows what's written
in that magic book? ***
1364
01:02:12,701 --> 01:02:15,788
*** But when a lover you discover ***
1365
01:02:15,871 --> 01:02:17,498
*** At the gate, my friend ***
1366
01:02:17,581 --> 01:02:21,710
*** Invite him in
without a second look ***
1367
01:02:21,794 --> 01:02:24,254
*** You're watchin' the sun come up ***
1368
01:02:24,338 --> 01:02:25,589
*** Or countin' your mon... ***
1369
01:03:04,794 --> 01:03:06,296
- Get off the stage!
- Grab him!
1370
01:03:08,965 --> 01:03:10,592
Aah!
1371
01:03:15,722 --> 01:03:19,017
I'm Ed Hocken. This is
Officer Nordberg, from Police Squad.
1372
01:03:19,100 --> 01:03:20,935
We're here to prevent a disaster.
1373
01:03:21,019 --> 01:03:22,395
You're too late for that.
1374
01:03:26,649 --> 01:03:28,818
*** You're watchin' the sun come up ***
1375
01:03:28,902 --> 01:03:30,278
Hey, it's Frank.
1376
01:03:30,361 --> 01:03:33,114
*** Or countin' your money ***
1377
01:03:33,198 --> 01:03:36,618
*** Or else in a dim cafe ***
1378
01:03:36,701 --> 01:03:40,121
*** You're orderin' wine ***
1379
01:03:40,205 --> 01:03:42,832
*** Then suddenly there he is ***
1380
01:03:42,916 --> 01:03:44,959
*** You want to be where he is ***
1381
01:03:45,043 --> 01:03:47,253
Come on, Nordberg.
We've got to get Frank.
1382
01:03:47,337 --> 01:03:48,713
*** The start of somethin' ***
1383
01:03:48,755 --> 01:03:51,466
*** This could be
the heart of somethin' ***
1384
01:03:51,549 --> 01:03:54,385
*** This could be
the start of somethin' ***
1385
01:03:54,427 --> 01:04:04,020
*** Big ******
1386
01:04:04,145 --> 01:04:06,105
Aah!
1387
01:04:07,815 --> 01:04:08,608
Ohh!
1388
01:04:16,741 --> 01:04:18,493
Jane!
1389
01:04:23,456 --> 01:04:24,540
Jane!
1390
01:04:26,000 --> 01:04:27,001
Aha!
1391
01:04:27,084 --> 01:04:29,420
I knew I'd bump
into you somewhere.
1392
01:04:29,503 --> 01:04:30,796
I want answers, cherry cakes.
1393
01:04:30,880 --> 01:04:32,548
- I love you.
- Wrong answer.
1394
01:04:32,632 --> 01:04:35,134
I've dropped out of
the "Sap of the Month" Club.
1395
01:04:35,217 --> 01:04:37,970
Listen, angel drawers,
you've got one last chance.
1396
01:04:38,012 --> 01:04:40,389
And I don't mean
a major league baseball,
1397
01:04:40,389 --> 01:04:41,932
Steve Howe kind of last chance.
1398
01:04:42,016 --> 01:04:43,392
Now, where is Jane?
1399
01:04:43,434 --> 01:04:44,685
I don't know.
1400
01:04:44,769 --> 01:04:46,145
Okay, where's the bomb?
1401
01:04:46,228 --> 01:04:47,646
In the Best Picture envelope.
1402
01:04:47,730 --> 01:04:50,524
Oh, Mr. Drebin,
I want to go straight.
1403
01:04:50,608 --> 01:04:52,985
I'm tired of the lies.
1404
01:04:53,068 --> 01:04:54,862
Oh, kiss me.
1405
01:04:54,945 --> 01:04:56,780
Please kiss me.
1406
01:04:56,864 --> 01:04:59,158
I've never kissed lips so innocent,
1407
01:04:59,241 --> 01:05:00,534
so pure.
1408
01:05:20,888 --> 01:05:23,223
He looked like Phil Donahue,
white hair...
1409
01:05:23,307 --> 01:05:24,641
That's the guy!
1410
01:05:24,725 --> 01:05:25,601
Frank?
1411
01:05:25,684 --> 01:05:26,769
I'll get him, Captain.
1412
01:05:27,186 --> 01:05:28,145
Ladies and gentlemen,
1413
01:05:28,228 --> 01:05:30,063
to present the Best Picture award
1414
01:05:30,147 --> 01:05:32,441
are two of America's
most distinguished actors...
1415
01:05:32,524 --> 01:05:34,693
Olympia Dukakis
and James Earl Jones.
1416
01:05:42,492 --> 01:05:44,202
Lord, what's that?
1417
01:05:44,286 --> 01:05:47,164
Looks like Phil Donahue
throwing up in a tuba.
1418
01:05:47,247 --> 01:05:48,707
Someone make a note.
1419
01:05:48,790 --> 01:05:51,126
We shouldn't have Phil Donahue
back next year.
1420
01:05:51,209 --> 01:05:53,378
Thank you.
Thank you. Good evening.
1421
01:05:53,462 --> 01:05:56,256
It's a privilege for us
to present the final award
1422
01:05:56,339 --> 01:05:57,507
of tonight's ceremony.
1423
01:05:57,591 --> 01:05:59,468
We've been worried about you.
1424
01:05:59,509 --> 01:06:01,595
Where's Rocco?
Where's Tanya?
1425
01:06:01,636 --> 01:06:03,513
Sit down.
Take it easy.
1426
01:06:03,555 --> 01:06:04,931
Thank God you're okay.
1427
01:06:05,015 --> 01:06:08,852
... Indecent Instincts,
and Sawdust and Mildew.
1428
01:06:08,935 --> 01:06:11,771
Every one of these movies
was a box office hit,
1429
01:06:11,813 --> 01:06:13,565
except for one.
1430
01:06:13,648 --> 01:06:14,524
What's that?
1431
01:06:14,608 --> 01:06:15,984
The Best Picture award.
1432
01:06:16,067 --> 01:06:17,736
My money's on Sawdust and Mildew.
1433
01:06:17,819 --> 01:06:19,821
Olympia, would you
do the honors, please?
1434
01:06:19,905 --> 01:06:21,239
Oh, my God!
1435
01:06:21,323 --> 01:06:22,616
That's the one!
1436
01:06:22,699 --> 01:06:25,410
The award for
this year's Best Picture
1437
01:06:25,493 --> 01:06:26,369
goes to...
1438
01:06:26,453 --> 01:06:27,662
Wait!
1439
01:06:27,746 --> 01:06:28,705
Oh, great.
1440
01:06:28,788 --> 01:06:30,165
Sorry about this.
1441
01:06:30,206 --> 01:06:32,083
Loved you in Coneheads.
You, too.
1442
01:06:32,125 --> 01:06:33,710
Let me open this.
1443
01:06:35,587 --> 01:06:36,921
[Beep Beep]
1444
01:06:37,005 --> 01:06:38,590
It's the bomb!
1445
01:06:46,681 --> 01:06:48,600
- Aah!
- Aah!
1446
01:06:48,683 --> 01:06:50,518
Freeze and nobody gets hurt!
1447
01:06:50,602 --> 01:06:51,978
Aah!
1448
01:06:52,061 --> 01:06:53,855
Well,
1449
01:06:53,938 --> 01:06:55,773
from now on.
1450
01:06:55,815 --> 01:06:58,693
Back in your seats,
you little weasels!
1451
01:06:58,776 --> 01:07:00,528
This program's been
permanently interrupted.
1452
01:07:00,570 --> 01:07:02,447
Don't panic.
Stay with it.
1453
01:07:02,488 --> 01:07:05,033
Camera 2,
move in on the old lady.
1454
01:07:05,116 --> 01:07:06,200
Better move back, 2.
1455
01:07:06,284 --> 01:07:07,452
No one move!
1456
01:07:07,535 --> 01:07:09,370
Sit down!
Now, pay attention!
1457
01:07:09,454 --> 01:07:12,874
I don't want to kill nobody
unless I have to.
1458
01:07:12,915 --> 01:07:15,585
All right, drop your guns
and kick them over here.
1459
01:07:19,338 --> 01:07:21,549
I believe that bomb belongs to me.
1460
01:07:21,632 --> 01:07:22,967
Hand it over, Drebin.
1461
01:07:23,050 --> 01:07:25,303
You want to kill him, Ma?
1462
01:07:26,554 --> 01:07:28,389
Blink and I start shooting.
1463
01:07:35,104 --> 01:07:37,732
[Frank]
Give me that gun!
1464
01:07:37,815 --> 01:07:39,191
Oh, my God!
1465
01:07:39,275 --> 01:07:42,153
I'm not falling
for that one, sister.
1466
01:07:42,236 --> 01:07:44,822
Aah!
1467
01:07:46,198 --> 01:07:48,034
I'm not well!
1468
01:07:48,117 --> 01:07:50,661
Get this stupid thing off me!
1469
01:07:50,745 --> 01:07:54,123
Ohh! Ohh! Ohh!
1470
01:07:55,791 --> 01:07:57,084
Ma!
1471
01:07:57,126 --> 01:07:58,210
She's a goner, Rocco.
1472
01:07:58,294 --> 01:08:00,171
Dead. Then that's it.
1473
01:08:00,254 --> 01:08:02,882
I'm coming with you, Ma!
1474
01:08:02,965 --> 01:08:06,218
Pull out the bomb.
You don't, I'll shoot the dame.
1475
01:08:06,302 --> 01:08:08,137
All right, Rocco.
All right.
1476
01:08:08,220 --> 01:08:09,763
I'll do what you say.
1477
01:08:09,805 --> 01:08:10,723
Frank...
1478
01:08:10,764 --> 01:08:12,141
Just don't harm her.
1479
01:08:12,224 --> 01:08:15,269
You pull out the bomb,
you'll kill me and everyone else.
1480
01:08:15,352 --> 01:08:16,603
Yeah. No dice, Rocco.
1481
01:08:16,645 --> 01:08:17,688
Then I'll plug her.
1482
01:08:17,771 --> 01:08:19,773
You shoot her,
I'll empty this envelope.
1483
01:08:19,857 --> 01:08:21,358
Frank, think about it.
1484
01:08:21,400 --> 01:08:22,693
It's okay.
You'll be dead.
1485
01:08:22,776 --> 01:08:25,654
Then you'll kill yourself
and everyone here.
1486
01:08:25,738 --> 01:08:27,114
Yeah.
1487
01:08:27,156 --> 01:08:29,658
I'll shoot you
if you don't do as I say.
1488
01:08:29,742 --> 01:08:30,784
Jane?
1489
01:08:30,868 --> 01:08:32,661
I'd be safe with everyone else,
1490
01:08:32,744 --> 01:08:34,204
but you'd be dead.
1491
01:08:34,246 --> 01:08:35,998
This is getting complicated, Rocco.
1492
01:08:36,081 --> 01:08:37,875
Let's look at this logically.
1493
01:08:37,958 --> 01:08:40,836
You're the psychotic.
You should have the envelope.
1494
01:08:40,919 --> 01:08:42,546
I should have the gun.
1495
01:08:42,629 --> 01:08:45,090
I know what I'm doing.
1496
01:08:50,679 --> 01:08:52,139
All right!
1497
01:08:54,349 --> 01:08:55,642
Here's your Best Picture!
1498
01:08:55,726 --> 01:08:57,060
In front of the world,
1499
01:08:57,144 --> 01:08:58,729
this place is going up.
1500
01:08:58,770 --> 01:09:02,566
Well, if I'm going out,
I'm going out happy.
1501
01:09:02,649 --> 01:09:04,151
Wait a minute, Rocco.
1502
01:09:04,234 --> 01:09:06,069
Before we're all blown to bits,
1503
01:09:06,153 --> 01:09:08,947
mind if I pull the underwear
out of my crack?
1504
01:09:09,030 --> 01:09:10,866
A man's got to go comfortable.
1505
01:09:10,949 --> 01:09:13,285
All right, but that's it.
1506
01:09:14,661 --> 01:09:16,454
Give it up, Rocco.
You're history.
1507
01:09:16,538 --> 01:09:18,373
Look, George Hamilton!
1508
01:09:18,456 --> 01:09:21,543
Ah ha ha ha!
1509
01:09:21,626 --> 01:09:22,836
Come and get me, Drebin.
1510
01:09:25,213 --> 01:09:26,965
Throw me a gun!
1511
01:09:27,048 --> 01:09:28,800
Get rid of the bomb!
1512
01:09:28,883 --> 01:09:30,093
Hold on, sweetheart.
1513
01:09:32,220 --> 01:09:34,389
Oh! Frank, help me!
1514
01:09:34,472 --> 01:09:35,348
Frank...
1515
01:09:35,432 --> 01:09:37,767
I know what I'm doing.
1516
01:09:37,851 --> 01:09:39,644
Aah!
1517
01:09:39,728 --> 01:09:42,021
I hate heights!
1518
01:09:42,105 --> 01:09:43,940
Ohh! Oh, no!
1519
01:09:44,023 --> 01:09:46,484
Move it, sister!
1520
01:09:46,568 --> 01:09:48,445
Aah!
1521
01:09:48,486 --> 01:09:50,363
Screw the commercials!
We're sticking with this.
1522
01:09:50,405 --> 01:09:53,241
All right, copper,
you killed my ma!
1523
01:09:53,283 --> 01:09:55,618
I'm taking the dame
away from you.
1524
01:09:55,660 --> 01:09:57,078
You hear me, copper?
1525
01:09:57,120 --> 01:09:59,622
One push and Mrs. Drebin
becomes linoleum.
1526
01:09:59,706 --> 01:10:02,667
Get a camera up there.
This could be my best work.
1527
01:10:02,750 --> 01:10:05,086
Any last words
before I throw you off?
1528
01:10:05,169 --> 01:10:07,130
Yes. Don't do it.
1529
01:10:07,171 --> 01:10:08,464
Anything else?
1530
01:10:08,548 --> 01:10:09,924
Frank, I love you.
1531
01:10:10,008 --> 01:10:14,053
Yes, I want the world to know
you're the perfect man.
1532
01:10:14,137 --> 01:10:16,222
Frank, I hope you can hear me.
1533
01:10:16,305 --> 01:10:17,890
They said I couldn't do drama.
1534
01:10:17,974 --> 01:10:19,308
I was wrong.
1535
01:10:19,392 --> 01:10:21,727
Taking you away from Police Squad
was a mistake.
1536
01:10:21,769 --> 01:10:26,482
I know, now, that's why you
couldn't perform decent sex.
1537
01:10:26,524 --> 01:10:28,067
I realize that, now,
1538
01:10:28,151 --> 01:10:29,360
and other things.
1539
01:10:29,443 --> 01:10:31,612
Everything's under control.
1540
01:10:31,696 --> 01:10:32,613
Nobody move!
1541
01:10:32,655 --> 01:10:35,157
Any vibration may set
this thing off.
1542
01:10:36,784 --> 01:10:38,661
Frank, I've learned my lesson.
1543
01:10:38,703 --> 01:10:40,788
And though it may
be too late for me,
1544
01:10:40,871 --> 01:10:44,417
I want all you ladies
to remember something.
1545
01:10:44,500 --> 01:10:46,877
Don't ever take your men
for granted,
1546
01:10:46,961 --> 01:10:50,047
because good men
don't just fall out of the sky.
1547
01:10:50,131 --> 01:10:51,590
Aah!
1548
01:10:53,050 --> 01:10:54,552
Aah!
1549
01:10:54,635 --> 01:10:56,762
He's caught up in the cable.
1550
01:10:56,846 --> 01:10:58,681
Frank, do something!
1551
01:10:58,722 --> 01:11:00,182
Hurry!
1552
01:11:05,604 --> 01:11:06,772
Ohh!
1553
01:11:08,440 --> 01:11:10,985
I'm coming, Ma!
1554
01:11:12,862 --> 01:11:14,947
Rocco?
1555
01:11:15,030 --> 01:11:17,408
Papshmir?
1556
01:11:29,420 --> 01:11:30,713
Jane,
1557
01:11:30,796 --> 01:11:33,132
I never want us
to be apart again.
1558
01:11:33,215 --> 01:11:34,299
Oh, Frank.
1559
01:11:34,341 --> 01:11:38,137
You like me.
You really like me!
1560
01:11:56,488 --> 01:11:57,864
Frank, slow down.
1561
01:11:57,948 --> 01:11:59,324
Hurry up! We're late!
1562
01:11:59,408 --> 01:12:01,243
Relax.
We've got plenty of time.
1563
01:12:01,326 --> 01:12:02,703
You bring the camcorder?
1564
01:12:02,744 --> 01:12:04,621
Right here.
What room's she in?
1565
01:12:04,663 --> 01:12:07,040
Delivery room.
This must be it.
1566
01:12:07,124 --> 01:12:09,918
Jane, I'm here.
Frank is here.
1567
01:12:10,001 --> 01:12:10,877
- Aah!
- Push!
1568
01:12:10,961 --> 01:12:11,962
Here it comes now.
1569
01:12:12,045 --> 01:12:13,422
Breathe, honey.
Breathe, Jane.
1570
01:12:13,463 --> 01:12:15,590
One more push.
That's it.
1571
01:12:15,674 --> 01:12:18,844
Congratulations, Dad, it's a boy.
1572
01:12:18,885 --> 01:12:19,886
[Baby Cries]
1573
01:12:21,930 --> 01:12:23,306
Nordberg!
1574
01:12:23,390 --> 01:12:24,891
You come back here!
1575
01:12:24,975 --> 01:12:26,643
Frank, it's a boy.
1576
01:12:26,726 --> 01:12:28,436
I know.
1577
01:16:45,191 --> 01:16:47,485
*** You're walkin' along the street ***
1578
01:16:47,568 --> 01:16:49,570
*** Or you're at a party ***
1579
01:16:49,654 --> 01:16:51,364
*** Or else you're alone ***
1580
01:16:51,405 --> 01:16:54,241
*** And then you suddenly dig ***
1581
01:16:54,283 --> 01:16:56,452
*** You're lookin' in someone's eyes ***
1582
01:16:56,535 --> 01:16:59,038
*** You suddenly realize ***
1583
01:16:59,121 --> 01:17:03,334
*** That this could be the start
of somethin' big ***
1584
01:17:03,417 --> 01:17:05,753
*** There's no controllin'
the unrollin' ***
1585
01:17:05,836 --> 01:17:07,671
*** Of your fate, my friend ***
1586
01:17:07,755 --> 01:17:12,301
*** Who knows what's written
in that magic book? ***
1587
01:17:12,384 --> 01:17:14,720
*** And when a lover you discover ***
1588
01:17:14,804 --> 01:17:16,639
*** At the gate, my friend ***
1589
01:17:16,722 --> 01:17:21,268
*** Invite him in
without a second look ***
1590
01:17:21,352 --> 01:17:23,270
*** You're watchin' the sun come up ***
1591
01:17:23,354 --> 01:17:25,356
*** Or countin' your money ***
1592
01:17:25,439 --> 01:17:27,900
*** Or else in a dim cafe ***
1593
01:17:27,983 --> 01:17:30,152
*** You're orderin' wine ***
1594
01:17:30,235 --> 01:17:32,404
*** And suddenly there he is ***
1595
01:17:32,446 --> 01:17:35,115
*** You want to be where he is ***
1596
01:17:35,199 --> 01:17:37,743
*** And this must be
the start of somethin' ***
1597
01:17:37,826 --> 01:17:40,245
*** This could be
the heart of somethin' ***
1598
01:17:40,287 --> 01:17:43,207
*** This could be
the start of somethin' big ***
1599
01:18:02,226 --> 01:18:05,437
*** You're watchin' the sun come up ***
1600
01:18:05,520 --> 01:18:08,941
*** Or countin' your money ***
1601
01:18:09,024 --> 01:18:12,694
*** Or else in a dim cafe ***
1602
01:18:12,778 --> 01:18:16,239
*** You're orderin' wine ***
1603
01:18:16,323 --> 01:18:18,617
*** Then suddenly there he is ***
1604
01:18:18,700 --> 01:18:21,453
*** You want to be where he is ***
1605
01:18:21,495 --> 01:18:24,498
*** And this could be
the start of somethin' ***
1606
01:18:24,539 --> 01:18:27,250
*** This could be
the heart of somethin' ***
1607
01:18:27,250 --> 01:18:30,128
*** This could be
the start of somethin' ***
1608
01:18:30,170 --> 01:18:39,721
*** Big ******
109491
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