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On Sunday August 13th 1961, the eyes of
America were on the nation's capital,
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where Roger Maris was hitting home runs
number 44 and 45 against the Senators.
3
00:01:55,617 --> 00:01:57,827
On that same day, without any warning,
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00:01:57,952 --> 00:02:03,082
the East German communists sealed off
the border between East and West Berlin.
5
00:02:03,249 --> 00:02:08,296
I only mention this to show the kind of
people we're dealing with - real shifty.
6
00:02:08,421 --> 00:02:13,301
Having been stationed in Berlin,
I know what I'm talking about.
7
00:02:13,426 --> 00:02:15,386
Let's go back to last June.
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00:02:15,511 --> 00:02:20,600
Considering it was a divided city,
life in Berlin was more or less normal.
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00:02:20,683 --> 00:02:22,894
Traffic flows free
through the Brandenburg Gate
10
00:02:23,019 --> 00:02:27,023
and it wasn't too much trouble to pass from
one side of the Iron Curtain to the other.
11
00:02:27,106 --> 00:02:32,445
Some East German police were rude and
suspicious, others suspicious and rude.
12
00:02:32,570 --> 00:02:36,616
The Eastern Sector, under communist
domination, was still in rubble,
13
00:02:36,741 --> 00:02:40,453
but the people went about
their daily business - parading.
14
00:03:32,839 --> 00:03:36,718
These constant provocations
failed to provoke the West Berliners.
15
00:03:36,843 --> 00:03:39,429
They were too busy rebuilding.
16
00:03:39,554 --> 00:03:42,181
The Western Sector,
under allied protection,
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00:03:42,348 --> 00:03:48,438
was peaceful, prosperous and enjoyed
all the blessings of democracy.
18
00:03:51,274 --> 00:03:56,654
Just by coincidence, this happens
to be the company I work for.
19
00:04:12,253 --> 00:04:14,297
Danke schbn.
20
00:04:21,554 --> 00:04:23,598
Danke schén, Fritz.
21
00:04:30,313 --> 00:04:32,356
Danke schbn.
22
00:04:44,035 --> 00:04:46,162
Danke schén already!
23
00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:57,006
Sitzen machen.
24
00:05:05,932 --> 00:05:07,975
Schlemmer!
25
00:05:11,854 --> 00:05:14,232
Good morning, Mr MacNamara.
26
00:05:14,357 --> 00:05:19,278
How many times have I told you I don't
want those people standing at attention?
27
00:05:19,445 --> 00:05:24,116
- I know. I have given strict orders.
- Can't they get it through their heads?
28
00:05:24,242 --> 00:05:27,036
- They're in a democracy now.
- That is the trouble.
29
00:05:27,161 --> 00:05:32,750
Before, if I told them to sit they would sit.
Now they do what they want. They stand.
30
00:05:32,875 --> 00:05:35,628
- Any word yet from the mayor's office?
- Yes, sir.
31
00:05:35,753 --> 00:05:40,633
- No Coke machine in the Reichstag.
- Sometimes I wonder who won the war.
32
00:05:40,758 --> 00:05:44,512
Did you pick up those airline tickets
for my wife and children?
33
00:05:44,637 --> 00:05:47,431
Three seats to Venice via Frankfurt.
34
00:05:47,557 --> 00:05:50,768
Call the Frankfurt plant
for another 100,000 bottles.
35
00:05:50,893 --> 00:05:54,522
People keep smuggling Cokes
into the Eastern Sector.
36
00:05:54,647 --> 00:05:58,150
Next. I'm expecting the Russian
Trade Commission at 10.30.
37
00:05:58,276 --> 00:06:00,444
- Yes, sir.
- Next. You're fired.
38
00:06:00,570 --> 00:06:03,114
- Sir?
- Unless you stop clicking your heels.
39
00:06:03,239 --> 00:06:05,992
Yes, sir. I'm sorry.
I keep forgetting myself.
40
00:06:06,117 --> 00:06:10,204
- That old Gestapo training, huh?
- You must not say that. It is not true.
41
00:06:10,329 --> 00:06:14,750
- What did you do during the war?
- I was in the underground.
42
00:06:14,876 --> 00:06:18,170
- Resistance fighter?
- No, motorman. In the subway.
43
00:06:18,296 --> 00:06:21,632
- Of course you never liked Adolf.
- Adolf who?
44
00:06:21,757 --> 00:06:25,887
Down where I was I didn't know
what was going on up there.
45
00:06:26,012 --> 00:06:30,016
That will be all, Schlemmer.
Rausmachen.
46
00:06:57,543 --> 00:07:00,880
- Guten Morgen.
- Guten Morgen to you, Fraulein Ingeborg.
47
00:07:01,005 --> 00:07:04,258
It is not Fraulein, it is Fréulein.
With an Umlaut.
48
00:07:04,383 --> 00:07:06,928
I'll say. Monthly report.
49
00:07:07,053 --> 00:07:12,141
To WP Hazeltine, home office, Atlanta,
from CR MacNamara, Berlin branch.
50
00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:15,269
Production figures for May,
270,000 cases.
51
00:07:15,394 --> 00:07:18,689
Consumption per capita
now 5.2 per cent above last year.
52
00:07:18,814 --> 00:07:23,027
Outselling Rhine wine eight to one,
rapidly creeping up on draft beer.
53
00:07:23,152 --> 00:07:27,865
Next. Campaign to reorient German
businessmen's lunch succeeding.
54
00:07:27,990 --> 00:07:31,202
27 per cent now having Coke
with their Knackwurst.
55
00:07:31,327 --> 00:07:33,579
Now, here's a real hot flash.
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00:07:33,704 --> 00:07:37,625
We may become the first American
company to crack the Iron Curtain.
57
00:07:37,750 --> 00:07:41,253
I have started negotiations
with the Russian representative.
58
00:07:41,379 --> 00:07:43,881
It looks most promising. More later.
59
00:07:44,006 --> 00:07:47,259
Next. What did you do over the weekend?
60
00:07:47,385 --> 00:07:50,888
- Nothing. I stayed home waiting for you.
- I couldn't get away.
61
00:07:51,931 --> 00:07:54,392
But there's good news tonight.
62
00:07:54,517 --> 00:07:55,559
Yes?
63
00:07:55,643 --> 00:07:57,895
Mrs MacNamara? Put her on.
64
00:07:59,271 --> 00:08:03,401
- Yes, Phyllis. What's the matter?
- It's Tommy. We're having a crisis.
65
00:08:03,526 --> 00:08:05,444
Why don't you talk to him?
66
00:08:05,569 --> 00:08:08,114
Tommy, your father's on the phone.
67
00:08:09,073 --> 00:08:10,199
Hello, Dad.
68
00:08:10,324 --> 00:08:14,704
- Nothing. Mother's ganging up on me.
- What do you mean by that?
69
00:08:14,829 --> 00:08:19,166
Your mother's right. What are you going
to do with roller skates in Venice?
70
00:08:19,291 --> 00:08:24,588
- All the streets are underwater.
- So what? I'm taking my snorkel.
71
00:08:24,714 --> 00:08:27,800
Here. Your husband wants to talk to you.
72
00:08:27,925 --> 00:08:29,385
Grrr...
73
00:08:31,137 --> 00:08:34,432
- Yes, Mac.
- Look, let him pack what he wants.
74
00:08:34,557 --> 00:08:37,059
All right, so I'm spoiling him. Big deal.
75
00:08:37,184 --> 00:08:41,105
Don't worry. Pick me up at the office
and I'll take you to the airport.
76
00:08:41,230 --> 00:08:43,274
Yes, mein Filhrer.
77
00:08:43,399 --> 00:08:47,445
- Bertha asks what you'd like for dinner.
- I've got a deskful of work.
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00:08:47,570 --> 00:08:50,781
I'll just grab a quick bite somewhere.
So long, dear.
79
00:08:50,906 --> 00:08:54,118
- Like I said, good news.
- Your wife, she's making a trip?
80
00:08:54,243 --> 00:08:57,913
- Going on vacation. Mit die Kinder.
- Ach so.
81
00:08:58,039 --> 00:09:00,833
So tonight we'll start
the German lessons again.
82
00:09:00,958 --> 00:09:04,670
- You must be getting rusty.
- We'll just have to work twice as hard.
83
00:09:04,795 --> 00:09:06,505
- Das ist gut?
- Sehr gut.
84
00:09:06,630 --> 00:09:09,508
And the first thing we'll do
is brush up on the Umlaut.
85
00:09:09,675 --> 00:09:11,719
Das ist wunderbar.
86
00:09:13,596 --> 00:09:16,849
Like all the lilacs in Lower Bavaria.
87
00:09:19,060 --> 00:09:21,937
- The communist gentlemen are here.
- Send them in.
88
00:09:22,063 --> 00:09:25,399
Fraulein Ingeborg,
put that on the teletype to Atlanta.
89
00:09:25,524 --> 00:09:28,277
- And take your gum.
- Jawohl.
90
00:09:34,867 --> 00:09:37,495
Nice to see you again,
Comrade Mishkin. Hey.
91
00:09:37,620 --> 00:09:39,371
Ah, Mr MacNamara.
92
00:09:39,497 --> 00:09:43,375
Commissar Peripetchikoff,
chairman of our trade commission.
93
00:09:43,501 --> 00:09:46,754
And Comrade Borodenko
from the soft-drinks secretariat.
94
00:09:46,879 --> 00:09:48,672
Sit down.
95
00:09:48,798 --> 00:09:51,383
- Sit down, boys.
- We have no objection.
96
00:09:51,509 --> 00:09:54,011
- Cigarettes? Cigars?
- Take one of these.
97
00:09:54,136 --> 00:09:55,596
Thanks.
98
00:09:55,846 --> 00:09:58,724
- Made in Havana.
- We have trade agreement with Cuba.
99
00:09:58,849 --> 00:10:01,602
- They send us cigars, we send rockets.
- Good thinking.
100
00:10:01,727 --> 00:10:05,564
Comrade Mishkin tells me you are
keen on getting Coca-Cola into Russia.
101
00:10:05,731 --> 00:10:10,736
He is totally wrong. I did not say keen.
I said we are mildly interested.
102
00:10:10,861 --> 00:10:12,905
Nevertheless.
103
00:10:13,864 --> 00:10:19,662
Comrade Mishkin suggested we start with
six bottling plants. Moscow, Leningrad...
104
00:10:20,996 --> 00:10:24,041
You guys got cheated.
This is a pretty crummy cigar.
105
00:10:24,166 --> 00:10:28,671
Do not worry.
We send them pretty crummy rockets.
106
00:10:33,008 --> 00:10:35,302
As I was saying. Six plants.
107
00:10:35,427 --> 00:10:39,098
Moscow, Leningrad, Stalingrad,
Kiev, Kharkov and Minsk. Right?
108
00:10:39,223 --> 00:10:42,184
Wrong. I never mentioned Minsk.
I said Pinsk.
109
00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:46,772
All right. Pinsk is in, Minsk is out. Our
contract will contain the usual provisions.
110
00:10:46,897 --> 00:10:52,778
- We supply the syrup, you do the bottling.
- Certainly not. You supply the formula.
111
00:10:52,903 --> 00:10:58,742
Forget it. We give it to you, first thing we
know the Chinese communists'll have it.
112
00:10:58,868 --> 00:11:02,830
- No formula, no deal.
- OK, no deal.
113
00:11:02,955 --> 00:11:07,084
We do not need you. If we want
Coca-Cola, we invent it ourselves.
114
00:11:07,209 --> 00:11:12,339
Oh, yeah? In 1956 you flew a bottle of
Coke to a secret laboratory in Sverdlovsk.
115
00:11:12,464 --> 00:11:16,135
Your chemists went nuts
trying to analyse the ingredients. Right?
116
00:11:16,260 --> 00:11:17,636
No comment.
117
00:11:17,803 --> 00:11:22,349
In 1958 you planted two agents
in our home office to steal the formula.
118
00:11:22,474 --> 00:11:24,602
What happened? They both defected.
119
00:11:24,727 --> 00:11:29,607
Now they're in Florida
packaging instant borscht. Right?
120
00:11:29,732 --> 00:11:32,526
- No comment.
- Last year you put out an imitation.
121
00:11:32,651 --> 00:11:37,448
Kremlin-Cola.
But even the Albanians wouldn't drink it.
122
00:11:37,573 --> 00:11:41,327
- They used it for sheep-dip. Right?
- No comment.
123
00:11:41,452 --> 00:11:44,747
So either get down to business
or get off the pot.
124
00:11:44,872 --> 00:11:50,878
If we are to live together in peaceful
coexistence, there must be give and take.
125
00:11:51,003 --> 00:11:55,507
- Oh, sure. We give and you take.
- What is the matter. You do not trust us?
126
00:11:55,633 --> 00:11:57,468
No comment.
127
00:11:57,593 --> 00:11:59,887
If you do not mind, we have a conference.
128
00:12:00,012 --> 00:12:02,056
Help yourself.
129
00:12:18,781 --> 00:12:20,824
What is this?
130
00:12:22,493 --> 00:12:27,039
My employees gave it to me. On the tenth
anniversary of the Berlin Airlift.
131
00:12:27,164 --> 00:12:30,459
Are we going to stand here
and listen to cheap propaganda?
132
00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:34,797
Relax, Boris. While they are
putting Uncle Sam in cuckoo clocks
133
00:12:34,922 --> 00:12:37,716
we will put Soviet cosmonaut on moon.
134
00:12:37,841 --> 00:12:40,427
You may be the first
to shoot a man to the moon,
135
00:12:40,552 --> 00:12:44,682
but if he wants a Coke on the way
he will have to come to us.
136
00:12:51,689 --> 00:12:55,067
All right. We agree in principle.
You supply the syrup.
137
00:12:55,192 --> 00:12:58,028
Next. The deal will be set up
on a royalty basis.
138
00:12:58,153 --> 00:13:02,574
In Russia we do not have royalty.
Not since we liquidate the tsar.
139
00:13:02,700 --> 00:13:05,077
You'll pay us a percentage of the gross.
140
00:13:05,202 --> 00:13:07,121
- Money?
- Dollars?
141
00:13:07,246 --> 00:13:10,374
You would accept three-week tour
of Bolshoi Ballet?
142
00:13:10,499 --> 00:13:15,087
- Please. No culture, just cash.
- The ugly American.
143
00:13:16,755 --> 00:13:21,385
- We reserve the right to plant inspection.
- And we reserve the right to veto.
144
00:13:21,552 --> 00:13:23,512
- Our inspectors will be entitled to--
- We veto it.
145
00:13:23,637 --> 00:13:25,347
I thought so.
146
00:13:25,472 --> 00:13:28,058
Forget details.
Draw up temporary agreement.
147
00:13:28,183 --> 00:13:31,061
- We will submit to Moscow.
- I'll consult with Atlanta.
148
00:13:31,186 --> 00:13:34,773
- When will papers be ready?
- I'll put my secretary to work on it.
149
00:13:34,940 --> 00:13:38,527
- She's that blonde lady?
- That's the one.
150
00:13:40,863 --> 00:13:44,283
Send papers to East Berlin
with blonde lady in triplicate.
151
00:13:44,408 --> 00:13:48,120
- The papers in triplicate or the blonde?
- See what you can do.
152
00:13:48,245 --> 00:13:50,789
We are staying at
the Grand Hotel Potemkin.
153
00:13:50,956 --> 00:13:53,208
- How about a vodka and Coke?
- No, thank you.
154
00:13:53,334 --> 00:13:56,253
We have meeting
with Swiss trade delegation.
155
00:13:56,378 --> 00:14:02,634
They sent us 20 carloads of cheese.
Totally unacceptable. Full of holes. Bye.
156
00:14:03,635 --> 00:14:05,763
See you round the campus.
157
00:14:21,779 --> 00:14:23,322
Ring-a-ding-ding!
158
00:14:33,624 --> 00:14:36,043
- What is it?
- It is the overseas operator.
159
00:14:36,168 --> 00:14:38,545
You are to stand by for a call from Atlanta.
160
00:14:38,670 --> 00:14:42,758
They must have gotten my teletype
about the Russian deal.
161
00:14:42,883 --> 00:14:45,427
- It went good?
- Good? Look at this.
162
00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:49,390
All virgin territory.
300 million thirsty comrades.
163
00:14:49,515 --> 00:14:52,726
Volga boatmen and Cossacks,
Ukrainians and Outer Mongolians
164
00:14:52,810 --> 00:14:55,104
panting for the pause that refreshes.
165
00:14:55,187 --> 00:14:57,564
Do you realise what it means?
166
00:14:57,689 --> 00:14:59,900
- The stock, it will go up?
- I'll go up.
167
00:15:00,025 --> 00:15:03,487
Head of all European operations,
headquarters in London.
168
00:15:03,612 --> 00:15:09,326
- May I be the first to congratulate you?
- Should have had that job five years ago.
169
00:15:09,451 --> 00:15:12,162
But I got loused up by Benny Goodman.
170
00:15:12,287 --> 00:15:15,791
- Benny Goodman?
- I was in charge of the whole Middle East.
171
00:15:15,958 --> 00:15:19,795
Nine countries,
15 bottling plants all facing Mecca.
172
00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:23,799
Goodman and his band were
coming through on a goodwill tour.
173
00:15:23,924 --> 00:15:26,135
30,000 people showed up for the concert.
174
00:15:26,260 --> 00:15:29,388
But Benny didn't.
His plane was delayed by a sandstorm.
175
00:15:29,513 --> 00:15:32,057
So the mob marched
on the American embassy.
176
00:15:32,182 --> 00:15:35,436
So they burned down the Coca-Cola plant.
177
00:15:35,561 --> 00:15:37,104
You know it.
178
00:15:37,229 --> 00:15:42,276
There was a rhubarb at the home office
and I was exiled to South America.
179
00:15:42,401 --> 00:15:45,737
Schlepping that syrup
over the Andes on llamas
180
00:15:45,863 --> 00:15:48,449
while kids were being promoted
over my head.
181
00:15:48,574 --> 00:15:51,702
But you are in Berlin now.
This is not the doghouse.
182
00:15:51,827 --> 00:15:55,956
I used to have nine countries.
Now I've got half a city.
183
00:15:56,081 --> 00:15:59,418
But... ha-ha! MacNamara rides again.
184
00:15:59,543 --> 00:16:02,838
I'll be the white-haired boy now.
I'm going all the way.
185
00:16:02,963 --> 00:16:04,006
Yes?
186
00:16:04,381 --> 00:16:05,549
It's Atlanta.
187
00:16:05,674 --> 00:16:09,011
Hello, Mr Hazeltine? Yes, I can hear you.
188
00:16:09,136 --> 00:16:12,723
- I'm fine. How are you?
- If you must know, I'm miserable.
189
00:16:12,848 --> 00:16:16,518
Those damn magnolias are
in bloom again and so is my hay fever.
190
00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:19,771
MacNamara, there's something
I'd like to discuss with you.
191
00:16:19,897 --> 00:16:22,941
I thought you would. You got my teletype?
192
00:16:23,066 --> 00:16:26,945
It's right here in front of me.
Those figures for May are not bad at all.
193
00:16:27,112 --> 00:16:29,656
Thank you, sir.
And how about the Russian deal?
194
00:16:29,781 --> 00:16:33,368
Napoleon blew it, Hitler blew it,
but Coca-Cola's gonna pull it off.
195
00:16:33,494 --> 00:16:38,457
Forget it. We are not interested in
doing business behind the Iron Curtain.
196
00:16:38,582 --> 00:16:40,584
We're not interested in Russia?
197
00:16:40,709 --> 00:16:45,672
I wouldn't touch them with a ten-foot pole.
And I want nothing to do with Poles either.
198
00:16:45,797 --> 00:16:50,886
But this could be the biggest thing for us
since we introduced the six-pack.
199
00:16:51,011 --> 00:16:54,056
- Well, if it's against policy...
- You're damn right.
200
00:16:54,181 --> 00:16:58,810
But that's not what I called about.
I'd like you to do me a personal favour.
201
00:16:58,936 --> 00:17:02,940
You want me to ship Mrs Hazeltine
another set of Meissen china?
202
00:17:03,065 --> 00:17:06,151
No, it's about our daughter, Scarlett.
She's 17 now.
203
00:17:06,276 --> 00:17:09,655
Sweet girl. Fell in love with
some rock 'n' roll singer.
204
00:17:09,780 --> 00:17:14,451
No, that was the one before. This is
some pimple-faced basketball player.
205
00:17:14,576 --> 00:17:17,704
Anyway, we sent her off
on a little trip to Europe.
206
00:17:17,829 --> 00:17:22,417
- Where was I?
- Scarlett, basketball player, Europe...
207
00:17:22,543 --> 00:17:27,881
Oh, yes. We had her spend a couple of
weeks in Rome and a couple in Paris.
208
00:17:28,006 --> 00:17:32,761
She's arriving in Berlin this afternoon.
So if you and Mrs MacNamara...
209
00:17:32,886 --> 00:17:37,641
We'd be delighted to have her stay.
It's just that my family has made plans.
210
00:17:37,766 --> 00:17:42,938
- And I have a few plans of my own.
- If it's any sort of imposition, never mind!
211
00:17:43,063 --> 00:17:47,150
I wasn't thinking of myself.
It's your daughter I'm concerned about.
212
00:17:47,276 --> 00:17:51,405
With the political situation in Berlin
the way it is, anything can happen.
213
00:17:51,530 --> 00:17:54,616
Exactly. That's why I want you
to take good care of her.
214
00:17:54,741 --> 00:17:59,037
She's just a child really,
and I don't like her to stay in a hotel alone.
215
00:17:59,204 --> 00:18:03,208
She's flying Pan Am.
The plane is due in Berlin at 4.30.
216
00:18:03,333 --> 00:18:06,837
Unless those damn commies
shoot it down.
217
00:18:23,228 --> 00:18:28,025
Pan American gibt die Ankunft
des Clippers 712 aus Paris bekannt.
218
00:18:28,150 --> 00:18:32,237
- Here. You give her the flowers.
- Cut it out. What was I going to do?
219
00:18:32,362 --> 00:18:35,115
The boss asked me
to look after his only daughter.
220
00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:39,244
What about your only children
and your only wife? We were ready to go.
221
00:18:39,369 --> 00:18:43,915
- Don't you think we were disappointed?
- We'll just have to put things off.
222
00:18:44,041 --> 00:18:46,460
- The snorkel and the Umlaut
- The what?
223
00:18:46,585 --> 00:18:49,296
The thing is to make sure
the girl has a good time
224
00:18:49,421 --> 00:18:52,132
so she'll talk about our man in Berlin.
225
00:18:52,257 --> 00:18:58,555
It's such a nuisance. Bertha will have to
cook Sauerbraten Southern-style.
226
00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:01,475
- Come on, make an effort.
- Yes, mein FUhrer.
227
00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:18,950
- Is this the Paris plane?
- Oui, monsieur.
228
00:19:19,076 --> 00:19:23,413
- Isn't there a Miss Hazeltine?
- There was, but we have lost her.
229
00:19:23,538 --> 00:19:26,500
- You lost her?
- She has joined the crew.
230
00:19:34,466 --> 00:19:39,137
Scarlett Hazeltine if I ever saw one.
231
00:19:39,262 --> 00:19:41,473
I'm MacNamara. This is Mrs MacNamara.
232
00:19:41,598 --> 00:19:43,266
- Welcome to Berlin.
- Hi there.
233
00:19:43,392 --> 00:19:45,686
- How was your fight'?
- Just manly.
234
00:19:45,811 --> 00:19:49,064
The boys let me buzz Dilsseldorf.
235
00:19:49,189 --> 00:19:52,693
May I have your hat?
OK, fans. Drop 'em in.
236
00:19:53,610 --> 00:19:55,612
- Pick one, will you?
- I'm game.
237
00:19:55,737 --> 00:19:57,531
- What does it say?
- Pierre.
238
00:19:57,656 --> 00:20:00,367
- Where do I pick you up?
- What's our address?
239
00:20:00,492 --> 00:20:03,453
- Why?
- We had this lottery. Pierre won me.
240
00:20:03,578 --> 00:20:05,831
- Lucky Pierre.
- He's the navigator.
241
00:20:05,956 --> 00:20:08,834
You'd better change course.
You're way off the beam.
242
00:20:08,959 --> 00:20:11,169
- This way.
- Just a darn minute.
243
00:20:11,336 --> 00:20:13,964
- So long, fans.
- But that's not fair.
244
00:20:14,089 --> 00:20:16,842
Madame, I appeal to you as a woman.
245
00:20:16,967 --> 00:20:20,554
As a matter of fact, you do. Au revoir.
246
00:20:20,679 --> 00:20:22,764
- You're going to be like that?
- Like what?
247
00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:26,017
A company man like those
old poops in Rome and Paris.
248
00:20:26,143 --> 00:20:28,520
Breathing down my neck every minute.
249
00:20:28,645 --> 00:20:32,441
- You're underage and I'm under orders.
- Europe - what a drag.
250
00:20:32,566 --> 00:20:35,026
I've done the Coliseum
and the Mona Lisa,
251
00:20:35,152 --> 00:20:40,449
but they never take me to any of those
marvy places like the Lido and Le Sexy.
252
00:20:40,574 --> 00:20:43,243
- You'll have a wonderful time.
- That's why I came.
253
00:20:43,368 --> 00:20:46,621
- I hear this is a swinging town.
- Where did you hear that?
254
00:20:46,747 --> 00:20:51,376
Don't you ever read the headlines?
Berlin's the hottest spot in the world now.
255
00:20:51,501 --> 00:20:53,920
Care to tell the American
Forces Network?
256
00:20:54,045 --> 00:20:56,840
- Phyllis, please.
- We're a little late, so good night.
257
00:20:56,965 --> 00:20:59,718
This your ticket?
Fritz, mit the luggage machen.
258
00:20:59,843 --> 00:21:03,263
Better cable to tell them
Scarlett's checked in.
259
00:21:03,388 --> 00:21:06,057
Let them worry. I didn't volunteer for this.
260
00:21:06,183 --> 00:21:09,144
They deported me
just to bust it up with Choo Choo.
261
00:21:09,269 --> 00:21:12,898
- Who's Choo Choo?
- I met him in a telephone booth.
262
00:21:13,023 --> 00:21:17,778
43 of us piled inside to break the record
and Choo Choo and I were on the bottom.
263
00:21:17,903 --> 00:21:20,489
By the time we got out, we were engaged.
264
00:21:20,614 --> 00:21:24,034
- That's a record all right.
- But Daddy didn't approve.
265
00:21:24,159 --> 00:21:29,915
His folks are from the wrong side of
the tracks. And my daddy's an S-N-O-B.
266
00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:32,375
- A what?
- A snob.
267
00:21:32,501 --> 00:21:36,463
- Isn't 17 a little young to be engaged?
- I've been engaged four times.
268
00:21:36,588 --> 00:21:40,634
All the women in our family are sort of
hot-blooded.
269
00:21:40,759 --> 00:21:42,719
What have we got here?
270
00:21:42,844 --> 00:21:48,809
Whatever it is, it's all ours for the next two
weeks. Isn't that marvy?
271
00:22:10,872 --> 00:22:12,499
Schlemmer!
272
00:22:13,458 --> 00:22:16,336
Nein, nein, nein. Nicht aufstehen.
273
00:22:16,461 --> 00:22:18,755
I will keep them after hours practising.
274
00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:21,007
Never mind. My chauffeur didn't show up.
275
00:22:21,132 --> 00:22:25,095
- I will find out what happened to him.
- I don't care about him. Just my car.
276
00:22:25,220 --> 00:22:26,304
Jawohl.
277
00:22:26,471 --> 00:22:31,726
Sorry. While they practise not standing,
I will practise not clicking my heels.
278
00:22:35,313 --> 00:22:37,983
- Guten Morgen.
- Guten Morgen.
279
00:22:38,108 --> 00:22:40,110
Like freshly baked pumpernickel.
280
00:22:40,235 --> 00:22:44,531
Here's your mail, here's your Wall Street
Journal and here is my resignation.
281
00:22:44,656 --> 00:22:49,369
- What are you talking about?
- You do not work me overtime any more.
282
00:22:49,494 --> 00:22:54,499
You have lost all interest in the... Umlaut.
Obviously I am no longer required.
283
00:22:54,624 --> 00:22:56,501
We have this house guest.
284
00:22:56,626 --> 00:23:00,130
- You said she would be here two weeks.
- She has German measles.
285
00:23:00,255 --> 00:23:04,384
- She has been now two months.
- She likes it here. What can I do?
286
00:23:04,509 --> 00:23:09,139
- It's August. Won't school soon open?
- In Georgia you never know.
287
00:23:09,264 --> 00:23:14,144
- What is all this about quitting?
- I have had offers. After all, I'm bilingual.
288
00:23:14,269 --> 00:23:18,189
- Don't I know it?
- Those Russians call me all the time.
289
00:23:18,315 --> 00:23:21,401
- They want me very badly.
- I'll bet. Siberian wolves.
290
00:23:21,526 --> 00:23:23,778
So you'd better find another girl.
291
00:23:23,904 --> 00:23:25,739
All right.
292
00:23:26,740 --> 00:23:28,658
Dictation.
293
00:23:31,244 --> 00:23:34,748
Classified ad to run
in all Berlin papers. Quote:
294
00:23:34,873 --> 00:23:38,960
Attractive middle-aged executive
wants attractive young secretary.
295
00:23:39,085 --> 00:23:41,504
Must be versatile and cooperative.
296
00:23:41,630 --> 00:23:44,633
Excellent salary,
congenial working conditions,
297
00:23:44,758 --> 00:23:46,843
fringe benefits...
298
00:23:46,968 --> 00:23:50,055
Fringe benefits? What is that?
299
00:23:50,931 --> 00:23:55,435
Little extras. This morning I was passing
that shop in the KurfUrstendamm.
300
00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:59,189
There was this white silk dress
in the window and a matching hat.
301
00:23:59,314 --> 00:24:03,151
- And a bag? And matching shoes?
- Why not?
302
00:24:03,276 --> 00:24:05,695
- I'll take the job.
- You got it.
303
00:24:05,820 --> 00:24:09,407
- Danke schén.
- You're welcome schén.
304
00:24:11,493 --> 00:24:14,454
Please, not while you're chewing gum.
305
00:24:17,832 --> 00:24:21,419
- That'll be all. More later.
- Any time.
306
00:24:21,586 --> 00:24:25,632
- Yes, Schlemmer?
- I called the garage, his wife... No Fritz.
307
00:24:25,757 --> 00:24:29,094
- You'd better call the police.
- I already did.
308
00:24:29,219 --> 00:24:33,264
Gave them a description of the car.
Model, licence number...
309
00:24:33,390 --> 00:24:36,184
You're a good man.
How much are we paying you?
310
00:24:36,309 --> 00:24:38,937
- 200 Marks a week.
- That would be about $50.
311
00:24:39,062 --> 00:24:40,939
- That's all.
- That's enough.
312
00:24:43,650 --> 00:24:45,860
Hello? Hello, yes?
313
00:24:45,986 --> 00:24:48,071
Atlanta, Georgia? Put it through.
314
00:24:48,196 --> 00:24:51,908
What's going on there in Berlin?
I have a letter here from Scarlett.
315
00:24:52,033 --> 00:24:55,412
Says she's been going to
operas, concerts, museums.
316
00:24:55,537 --> 00:25:01,167
- That doesn't sound like my little girl.
- Oh, she's a different person now.
317
00:25:01,292 --> 00:25:05,463
We were a little worried when she first
arrived, but she turned out just fine.
318
00:25:05,588 --> 00:25:07,841
Well, I'll be damned!
319
00:25:07,966 --> 00:25:11,803
Anyway, Mrs Hazeltine and I
are leaving for Europe today
320
00:25:11,928 --> 00:25:13,888
and we'll take her off your hands.
321
00:25:14,014 --> 00:25:19,477
We'll be sorry to lose her. Two weeks,
two months. What's the difference?
322
00:25:19,602 --> 00:25:22,772
Well, I want you to know
we're mighty grateful to you.
323
00:25:22,897 --> 00:25:26,443
Actually, there's going to be
a shift in personnel.
324
00:25:26,568 --> 00:25:31,114
We're naming a new head of European
operations - and you won't be forgotten.
325
00:25:31,239 --> 00:25:32,991
The London job?
326
00:25:33,116 --> 00:25:38,121
Well, I don't know what to say.
I never expected anything like that.
327
00:25:38,246 --> 00:25:40,665
Just to be considered is a great honour.
328
00:25:40,790 --> 00:25:45,837
Of course, I've been with the company for
15 years. I know the European market...
329
00:25:45,962 --> 00:25:48,465
- It's your wife on the other phone.
- Not now.
330
00:25:48,590 --> 00:25:51,801
- I told her that, but she insists.
- Hold on, Mr Hazeltine.
331
00:25:51,926 --> 00:25:55,597
There's a little emergency
in the accounting department.
332
00:25:55,722 --> 00:25:59,934
- What is it? What's so important?
- If you put it that way, nothing really.
333
00:26:00,060 --> 00:26:03,855
I thought you might be interested in
what's going on around the house.
334
00:26:03,980 --> 00:26:08,902
I'm talking to Mr Hazeltine about the
London job. And you want to chitchat?
335
00:26:09,444 --> 00:26:12,489
I'm sorry. It's just that
Miss Hazeltine is missing.
336
00:26:12,614 --> 00:26:15,116
But we can discuss it
some other time. Bye.
337
00:26:15,241 --> 00:26:16,284
Bye.
338
00:26:16,743 --> 00:26:18,578
Missing? Wait a minute.
339
00:26:18,703 --> 00:26:20,747
Phyllis! What do you mean missing?
340
00:26:20,872 --> 00:26:24,918
Bertha took her breakfast up
and her bed hasn't been slept in.
341
00:26:25,043 --> 00:26:29,130
We got back from the movie round eleven
and Scarlett went right upstairs.
342
00:26:29,255 --> 00:26:32,634
- What could have happened?
- Who knows? Gone with the wind.
343
00:26:32,759 --> 00:26:36,054
Maybe she was kidnapped
by a white slave ring.
344
00:26:36,179 --> 00:26:37,847
Oh, swell. Hold on.
345
00:26:37,972 --> 00:26:40,975
- Trouble?
- I wish I were in hell with a broken back.
346
00:26:41,101 --> 00:26:45,522
Sorry, Mr Hazeltine. They come running
to me with all their little problems.
347
00:26:45,647 --> 00:26:48,775
- What boat are you sailing on?
- Who's got time for that?
348
00:26:48,900 --> 00:26:53,446
Mrs Hazeltine and I are flying to New
York, taking the overnight jet to London,
349
00:26:53,571 --> 00:26:57,200
there's a flight to Berlin
and we'll be there at noon tomorrow.
350
00:26:57,325 --> 00:26:59,661
Noon tomorrow? You mean our time?
351
00:26:59,786 --> 00:27:02,539
Of course I'll tell Scarlett.
First chance I get.
352
00:27:02,664 --> 00:27:04,457
We'll see you at the airport.
353
00:27:04,582 --> 00:27:07,293
Unless those damn commies
shoot the plane down.
354
00:27:07,418 --> 00:27:08,753
Auf Wiedersehen.
355
00:27:08,878 --> 00:27:12,465
We've got to find that idiot.
Her parents are arriving tomorrow.
356
00:27:12,590 --> 00:27:18,012
Where could she be? She doesn't know
anybody in Berlin except us.
357
00:27:18,138 --> 00:27:20,682
Have Bertha look again.
Maybe she left a note.
358
00:27:20,807 --> 00:27:22,934
What about her luggage?
359
00:27:23,059 --> 00:27:25,103
I'm glad something is still there.
360
00:27:25,228 --> 00:27:29,065
No, I'm not blaming you.
It's just that lousy MacNamara luck.
361
00:27:29,190 --> 00:27:33,611
First I lost a bottling plant
and now I lose the boss's daughter.
362
00:27:36,698 --> 00:27:39,617
I think we are getting some place.
We found Fritz.
363
00:27:39,742 --> 00:27:43,788
To hell with Fritz!
It's the girl we're looking for now.
364
00:27:43,913 --> 00:27:46,583
Precisely. He has some information.
365
00:27:48,626 --> 00:27:50,670
- Where is she?
- I do not know.
366
00:27:50,795 --> 00:27:54,465
Not precisely. But last night
I dropped her at the Brandenburg Gate.
367
00:27:54,591 --> 00:27:55,633
Why?
368
00:27:55,717 --> 00:27:59,095
I drop her there every night
and pick her up every morning.
369
00:27:59,220 --> 00:28:02,056
- How long has this been going on?
- Since last month.
370
00:28:02,182 --> 00:28:06,352
Usually I get her back before you wake up
but this morning I wait and I wait...
371
00:28:06,477 --> 00:28:10,148
- You've been helping her sneak out?
- Yes, but I have a good excuse.
372
00:28:10,273 --> 00:28:12,150
- What?
- She pays 100 Marks a night.
373
00:28:12,275 --> 00:28:15,153
- 50 for driving, 50 for not telling you.
- Can I fire him?
374
00:28:15,278 --> 00:28:18,865
Not yet. Now let's go step by step.
375
00:28:18,990 --> 00:28:21,993
After you drop her at the gate,
what does she do?
376
00:28:22,118 --> 00:28:25,830
- She crosses the border into East Berlin.
- East Berlin?!
377
00:28:25,955 --> 00:28:28,917
That is why I'm so worried
because she did not come back.
378
00:28:29,042 --> 00:28:33,671
You're worried? I'm going down
in flames and he's worried.
379
00:28:34,964 --> 00:28:40,094
Ingeborg, clear the switchboard.
I want Brigadier-General Hartel.
380
00:28:40,220 --> 00:28:44,432
Next, get me Mayor Willy Brandt. Next,
the West Berlin police commissioner.
381
00:28:44,557 --> 00:28:49,646
Next, I want to speak to the US
ambassador in Bonn. You got that? OK.
382
00:28:49,771 --> 00:28:51,814
Fritz, you wait downstairs.
383
00:28:51,940 --> 00:28:55,818
Schlemmer, can we get
any information from East Berlin?
384
00:28:55,944 --> 00:28:57,820
Only through official channels.
385
00:28:57,946 --> 00:29:01,074
- What if we just picked up the phone?
- It is not that easy.
386
00:29:01,199 --> 00:29:03,743
- Why not?
- There is no direct phone service.
387
00:29:03,868 --> 00:29:07,664
You have to call Stockholm,
from there Warsaw, then East Berlin.
388
00:29:07,789 --> 00:29:10,124
Nine times out of ten it's a wrong number.
389
00:29:10,250 --> 00:29:12,502
- Try it anyway.
- Yes, sir.
390
00:29:16,839 --> 00:29:19,425
Schnell machen!
391
00:29:21,344 --> 00:29:22,387
Yes?
392
00:29:22,804 --> 00:29:26,891
General Hartel is on army manoeuvres?
What about Mayor Willy Brandt?
393
00:29:27,016 --> 00:29:30,103
Watching the manoeuvres.
And the police commissioner?
394
00:29:30,228 --> 00:29:33,481
He's watching Willy Brandt.
So who's minding the store?
395
00:29:33,606 --> 00:29:35,316
What about the call to Bonn?
396
00:29:35,441 --> 00:29:37,902
Our ambassador's back in Washington?
397
00:29:38,027 --> 00:29:39,529
Be right with you.
398
00:29:39,654 --> 00:29:41,948
Get me Washington,
the state department.
399
00:29:42,073 --> 00:29:44,284
Dean Rusk, Dean Acheson,
Dean Anybody.
400
00:29:44,409 --> 00:29:47,120
If you have no luck there,
get me Senator Talmadge.
401
00:29:47,245 --> 00:29:51,291
And if he isn't in,
try Huntley and Brinkley at NBC...
402
00:29:51,416 --> 00:29:54,460
- Scarlett!
- What's all the excitement?
403
00:29:54,585 --> 00:29:58,172
Oh, nothing.
You just scared the hell out of us.
404
00:29:58,298 --> 00:30:00,925
- You all right?
- I'm just marvy.
405
00:30:01,050 --> 00:30:03,803
- What were you doing in East Berlin?
- Last night?
406
00:30:03,928 --> 00:30:06,222
All those nights.
407
00:30:06,347 --> 00:30:09,642
You see, there's this boy over there. Wow!
408
00:30:09,767 --> 00:30:13,688
- What boy? What have you been up to?
- I met him about six weeks ago.
409
00:30:13,813 --> 00:30:18,359
I went into East Berlin and there was
this parade and they wanted to arrest me.
410
00:30:18,484 --> 00:30:21,154
- Arrest you?
- Cos I was taking pictures.
411
00:30:21,279 --> 00:30:24,115
And then this boy, he was in the parade.
412
00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:27,493
He said I shouldn't be arrested,
I should be pitied
413
00:30:27,618 --> 00:30:34,417
cos I was a typical bourgeois parasite and
the rotten fruit of a corrupt civilisation.
414
00:30:34,542 --> 00:30:38,463
- So naturally I fell in love with him.
- Naturally.
415
00:30:38,588 --> 00:30:41,466
- Want to see his picture?
- Not particularly.
416
00:30:41,591 --> 00:30:43,926
I want your honest opinion.
417
00:30:46,512 --> 00:30:49,015
Isn't he beautiful?
418
00:30:49,766 --> 00:30:55,730
- You fell in love with Khrushchev?!
- No, silly. The one carrying Khrushchev.
419
00:30:55,855 --> 00:30:57,607
His name's Otto.
420
00:30:57,732 --> 00:31:01,778
I finally got East Berlin
and just like I told you, wrong number.
421
00:31:01,903 --> 00:31:03,363
Hi there.
422
00:31:03,488 --> 00:31:06,908
Now, you and this Otto.
Exactly what do you do together?
423
00:31:07,033 --> 00:31:11,621
All kinds of goodies. I wash his shirts
and he broadens my mind.
424
00:31:11,746 --> 00:31:17,043
And if it's a warm night we go lie on
the roof and watch the Sputniks go by.
425
00:31:17,168 --> 00:31:20,963
- Is that all?
- Last night we were blowing up balloons.
426
00:31:21,089 --> 00:31:23,549
- Balloons?
- You know.
427
00:31:26,386 --> 00:31:31,557
It is a communist trick. They float
them across to undermine our morale.
428
00:31:33,434 --> 00:31:37,772
- "Yankee go home"?!
- They come in green, yellow, blue...
429
00:31:37,897 --> 00:31:40,441
You're spreading
anti-American propaganda?
430
00:31:40,566 --> 00:31:43,736
It's not anti-American, it's anti-Yankee.
431
00:31:43,861 --> 00:31:47,073
Where I come from
everybody's against the Yankees.
432
00:31:47,198 --> 00:31:50,451
I have a good mind
to change this to "Russki go home"...
433
00:31:50,576 --> 00:31:54,622
OK, OK. Now you listen to me.
There's going to be no more foolishness.
434
00:31:54,747 --> 00:31:57,208
Tomorrow your parents
are taking you home.
435
00:31:57,333 --> 00:31:59,168
They are?
436
00:32:00,086 --> 00:32:01,129
Who?
437
00:32:01,462 --> 00:32:03,923
Chet Huntley? All right, I'll speak to him.
438
00:32:04,048 --> 00:32:08,344
I've been watching your programme.
Keep up the good work. Bye.
439
00:32:08,469 --> 00:32:12,598
When your parents arrive, keep your
mouth shut for your sake and mine.
440
00:32:12,723 --> 00:32:16,185
- If they ever find out what's going on--
- I'd better talk this over with Otto.
441
00:32:16,310 --> 00:32:20,231
You're not going to see him again.
And you're not going back to East Berlin.
442
00:32:20,356 --> 00:32:22,692
Oh, he's right downstairs.
443
00:32:23,776 --> 00:32:24,819
Otto.
444
00:32:27,488 --> 00:32:29,198
Otto, darling.
445
00:32:30,408 --> 00:32:32,076
Up here.
446
00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:36,414
Come on up, Liebchen.
447
00:32:41,210 --> 00:32:43,880
Liebchen? I don't want
that creep in my office.
448
00:32:44,005 --> 00:32:46,174
Send him home to clean out his cage.
449
00:32:46,299 --> 00:32:49,677
He'd better be here,
cos we have something to tell you.
450
00:32:49,802 --> 00:32:52,513
Tell me what?
You're not engaged again, are you?
451
00:32:52,638 --> 00:32:54,390
- Not this time.
- Thank God.
452
00:32:54,515 --> 00:32:57,059
- We're married.
- For a minute I was afraid...
453
00:32:58,227 --> 00:33:01,314
- You're married?
- It'll be six weeks on Monday.
454
00:33:01,439 --> 00:33:04,901
- You married a communist?
- No, he's a Republican.
455
00:33:05,026 --> 00:33:07,320
Comes from the Republic
of East Germany.
456
00:33:07,445 --> 00:33:10,531
Why, you dumb, stupid little pot.
457
00:33:10,656 --> 00:33:14,202
Do you realise what you've done?
You've ruined me, that's all.
458
00:33:14,327 --> 00:33:17,497
What are your parents going to say?
I trusted you.
459
00:33:17,622 --> 00:33:20,124
Then you go and pull a stunt like this.
460
00:33:20,249 --> 00:33:22,627
Why didn't you look after me better?
461
00:33:22,752 --> 00:33:25,421
15 years with the company
down the drain.
462
00:33:25,546 --> 00:33:30,092
I'll be blacklisted. My kids will starve.
My wife will be selling pencils.
463
00:33:30,218 --> 00:33:33,179
And all on account of you
and your hot blood.
464
00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:37,642
Come in. Come in, Otto.
465
00:33:42,188 --> 00:33:47,610
This is Mr MacNamara.
My husband, Otto Ludwig Piffl.
466
00:33:47,735 --> 00:33:50,112
Piffl. Wouldn't you know?
467
00:33:54,367 --> 00:33:57,787
Where did you dig him up?
He doesn't even wear socks.
468
00:33:57,912 --> 00:34:03,084
He doesn't wear shorts either.
Isn't that exciting?
469
00:34:04,835 --> 00:34:07,046
- Take your cap off.
- Why?
470
00:34:07,171 --> 00:34:09,215
Because I said so.
471
00:34:10,925 --> 00:34:13,302
In Lenin's tomb I take my cap off.
472
00:34:13,427 --> 00:34:16,556
If Van Cliburn plays Tchaikovsky,
I take my cap off.
473
00:34:16,681 --> 00:34:19,559
But in Coca-Cola office?
474
00:34:19,684 --> 00:34:20,726
PM“.!
475
00:34:20,810 --> 00:34:23,020
Do it for me, Otto darling.
476
00:34:23,145 --> 00:34:26,315
- For you I do it.
- He could use a haircut.
477
00:34:26,440 --> 00:34:29,235
I'd like to give it to him
with a hammer and sickle.
478
00:34:29,360 --> 00:34:31,279
- Warmonger.
- Shut up, you punk.
479
00:34:31,404 --> 00:34:33,990
- Don't talk like that to my husband.
- He's not.
480
00:34:34,115 --> 00:34:38,536
In the first place, she's underage.
Next, we don't recognise East Germany.
481
00:34:38,661 --> 00:34:42,623
Next, while she was washing your shirts
you were washing her brain.
482
00:34:42,748 --> 00:34:46,586
- So the whole thing is illegal.
- No, it's not. I have a certificate.
483
00:34:46,711 --> 00:34:49,005
And tell him about the wedding rings.
484
00:34:49,130 --> 00:34:53,676
Forged from the steel of a brave cannon
that fought at Stalingrad.
485
00:34:53,801 --> 00:34:57,638
- I don't care. The marriage is illegal.
- You say.
486
00:34:57,763 --> 00:35:00,975
But in the eyes of East Germany
we are husband and wife.
487
00:35:01,100 --> 00:35:03,686
You're not in East Germany now.
488
00:35:03,811 --> 00:35:06,814
I can have you arrested
for lying on rooftops with a minor.
489
00:35:06,939 --> 00:35:09,692
Of course you can. I know your tactics.
490
00:35:09,817 --> 00:35:12,862
You can have me arrested,
tortured or shot.
491
00:35:12,987 --> 00:35:17,199
- Like you've been doing in the Congo.
- Africa for the Africans.
492
00:35:17,325 --> 00:35:20,786
All I want from you
is silence and damn little of that.
493
00:35:20,911 --> 00:35:24,081
Don't you talk like that to my wife.
494
00:35:24,206 --> 00:35:28,544
Who? Brinkley? Tell him I already
gave the message to Huntley.
495
00:35:30,630 --> 00:35:32,298
Look, Otto baby.
496
00:35:32,423 --> 00:35:36,552
If we're to live in peaceful coexistence,
there must be give and take.
497
00:35:36,677 --> 00:35:39,263
- How'd you like 1,000 Marks?
- For what?
498
00:35:39,388 --> 00:35:42,391
Get on your motorcycle
and forget the whole thing.
499
00:35:42,516 --> 00:35:44,268
You can't bribe him.
500
00:35:44,393 --> 00:35:46,187
- 2,000?
- How about 5,000?
501
00:35:46,312 --> 00:35:48,689
- What are you saying?
- OK, 5,000 Marks.
502
00:35:48,814 --> 00:35:51,150
If it's worth 5,000, why not 50,000?
503
00:35:51,275 --> 00:35:53,736
50,000? You crazy?
504
00:35:53,861 --> 00:35:58,366
I just want to see how far they will go
to break up a happy socialist marriage.
505
00:35:58,491 --> 00:36:03,704
I spit on your money.
I spit on Fort Knox. I spit on Wall Street.
506
00:36:03,829 --> 00:36:07,833
- Unsanitary little jerk, isn't he?
- You and your kind are doomed.
507
00:36:07,958 --> 00:36:11,879
We will take over West Berlin and
Western Europe. We will bury you.
508
00:36:12,004 --> 00:36:15,633
Do me a favour, will you?
Bury us, but don't marry us.
509
00:36:15,758 --> 00:36:19,095
Look at all this waste.
510
00:36:19,220 --> 00:36:22,682
Capitalism is like
a dead herring in the moonlight.
511
00:36:22,807 --> 00:36:25,184
It shines, but it stinks!
512
00:36:25,810 --> 00:36:28,145
He talks like that all the time.
513
00:36:28,270 --> 00:36:31,273
- Tell him about Coca-Cola colonialism.
- What?
514
00:36:31,399 --> 00:36:34,902
As Khrushchev said on the 40th
anniversary of the Revolution...
515
00:36:35,027 --> 00:36:38,239
To hell with the Revolution
and Khrushchev!
516
00:36:40,157 --> 00:36:42,827
To hell with Frank Sinatra.
517
00:36:43,369 --> 00:36:46,288
It's going to be a clambake
when your folks get here.
518
00:36:46,414 --> 00:36:51,502
- How are we going to explain this?
- That's your problem. I won't be here.
519
00:36:51,627 --> 00:36:56,090
- What do you mean?
- Tonight my wife and I leave for Moscow.
520
00:36:56,966 --> 00:36:59,552
- Moscow?
- That's what I came to tell you.
521
00:36:59,677 --> 00:37:03,347
He's got a scholarship to
the People's Technological Institute.
522
00:37:03,472 --> 00:37:08,519
- He's studying to be a missile engineer.
- Soviet missiles...
523
00:37:08,644 --> 00:37:09,895
Venus.
524
00:37:10,271 --> 00:37:12,606
American missiles...
525
00:37:12,732 --> 00:37:14,483
Miami Beach.
526
00:37:16,944 --> 00:37:21,198
So you just tell Daddy
I'm on my way to the USSR.
527
00:37:21,323 --> 00:37:23,576
That's short for Russia.
528
00:37:26,078 --> 00:37:30,082
Are you out of your mind?
Russia's to get out of, not to get into.
529
00:37:30,207 --> 00:37:33,544
- Where Otto goes, I go.
- You just try to stop us.
530
00:37:33,669 --> 00:37:37,006
- Can you talk to your wife?
- I certainly can't talk to them.
531
00:37:37,131 --> 00:37:39,175
On this phone.
532
00:37:40,885 --> 00:37:45,347
- Hello? Yes, dear.
- I bet I know what happened to Scarlett.
533
00:37:45,473 --> 00:37:51,353
- Lucky Pierre must be back in town.
- It's not lucky Pierre. It's crazy Otto.
534
00:37:51,479 --> 00:37:53,689
Are you ready for this? She's married.
535
00:37:53,814 --> 00:37:59,904
That's right. She got herself an ever-lovin',
curly-haired, card-carrying husband.
536
00:38:00,029 --> 00:38:02,656
She married a communist?
537
00:38:02,782 --> 00:38:08,621
This is going to be the biggest thing
to hit Atlanta since General Sherman.
538
00:38:08,746 --> 00:38:10,664
No, I don't think it's funny.
539
00:38:10,790 --> 00:38:14,168
They're going to live in Moscow?
Now, that's funny.
540
00:38:14,293 --> 00:38:18,339
Yeah, hysterical. But what can I do,
go fight the Kremlin?
541
00:38:18,464 --> 00:38:23,677
I can't stop them. They're young,
they're in love and we're a dead herring.
542
00:38:23,803 --> 00:38:27,431
So who am I to stand in the way
of a happy socialist marriage?
543
00:38:27,556 --> 00:38:31,477
Come off it. I know you.
You've got something up your sleeve.
544
00:38:32,186 --> 00:38:35,314
I wouldn't be surprised. Bye.
545
00:38:35,439 --> 00:38:40,194
- Now, what time are you kids leaving?
- Seven o'clock on the Moscow express.
546
00:38:40,319 --> 00:38:43,447
- Why do you want to know?
- I'm going to dynamite the train.
547
00:38:43,572 --> 00:38:45,866
What makes you guys so suspicious?
548
00:38:45,991 --> 00:38:51,288
I'd better get back and start packing.
Think I ought to take both my mink coats?
549
00:38:51,413 --> 00:38:56,377
No woman should have two mink coats
until every woman in the world has one.
550
00:38:56,502 --> 00:39:00,381
Cut the other one up and make him
a pair of shorts. It's freezing there.
551
00:39:00,506 --> 00:39:03,008
- 30 below zero.
- Fascist lies.
552
00:39:03,133 --> 00:39:06,387
- You'd better go home and pack too.
- It will take no time.
553
00:39:06,512 --> 00:39:09,515
Just my chessboard,
my extra shirt and 200 books.
554
00:39:09,640 --> 00:39:13,185
As smiley is going back to East Berlin,
I'll get the car for you.
555
00:39:13,310 --> 00:39:17,940
Schlemmer, will you run and tell Fritz
he'll have to take Scarlett home?
556
00:39:18,065 --> 00:39:20,484
- You are letting her go?
- In a pig's eye.
557
00:39:20,609 --> 00:39:26,323
His motorcycle is downstairs. Remember
that idea you had about the balloon?
558
00:39:27,616 --> 00:39:32,955
Just think, Liebchen. Tomorrow night
we'll be strolling across Red Square.
559
00:39:33,080 --> 00:39:36,959
- I hope you won't be ashamed of me.
- Of course not.
560
00:39:37,084 --> 00:39:39,587
I'll only wear my jewellery at home.
561
00:39:39,712 --> 00:39:42,423
They have assigned us
a magnificent apartment.
562
00:39:42,548 --> 00:39:45,342
- Just a short walk from the bathroom.
- I love you.
563
00:39:45,467 --> 00:39:49,221
I'll make you happy. Every morning
we'll have breakfast in bed.
564
00:39:49,346 --> 00:39:52,057
- Sounds wonderful.
- Also lunch, also dinner.
565
00:39:52,182 --> 00:39:54,852
- In bed?
- There's no table and no chairs.
566
00:39:54,977 --> 00:39:57,021
Who cares?
567
00:39:59,773 --> 00:40:04,069
I'll pick you up at 6.30 sharp.
The 7.00 train leaves promptly at 8.15.
568
00:40:04,194 --> 00:40:07,114
Wait. Before you go
I'd like to give you a present.
569
00:40:07,239 --> 00:40:09,491
- Why?
- It's customary.
570
00:40:09,617 --> 00:40:11,952
Otto's friends didn't give us presents.
571
00:40:12,077 --> 00:40:16,081
They sent the money to unemployed
cotton pickers in Mississippi.
572
00:40:16,206 --> 00:40:19,501
How about a cocktail shaker?
No, I guess not.
573
00:40:19,627 --> 00:40:21,086
I know.
574
00:40:22,087 --> 00:40:24,256
A cuckoo clock.
575
00:40:24,381 --> 00:40:27,426
Handmade by dwarves
from the Black Forest.
576
00:40:27,551 --> 00:40:32,389
- So now they're exploiting dwarves.
- Sorry I haven't got any wrapping paper.
577
00:40:32,514 --> 00:40:35,726
We do not want anything from you.
578
00:40:35,851 --> 00:40:39,313
Otto, don't be rude.
I think it's very sweet of Mr MacNamara.
579
00:40:39,438 --> 00:40:44,360
- Now we'll have a bed and a clock.
- We will get our own clock in Russia.
580
00:40:44,485 --> 00:40:48,238
If your clocks run like your trains,
you might as well take this one.
581
00:40:48,364 --> 00:40:54,036
You laugh at us now, but not for long.
You're arrogant and fat and bloated.
582
00:40:54,161 --> 00:40:56,997
The worms will have a picnic.
583
00:40:57,122 --> 00:40:59,792
See you on the barricades, pal.
584
00:41:00,918 --> 00:41:04,171
- I'll put in a good word for you.
- Scarlett.
585
00:41:04,296 --> 00:41:07,800
It's my parents I feel sorry for.
It's too late to save them.
586
00:41:07,925 --> 00:41:10,386
Otto says they'll have to be liquidated.
587
00:41:10,511 --> 00:41:11,553
Bye.
588
00:41:22,606 --> 00:41:24,358
Schlemmer.
589
00:41:25,275 --> 00:41:27,152
Hurry UP-
590
00:41:38,080 --> 00:41:42,001
- Wiedersehen, Liebchen.
- Auf Wiedersehen.
591
00:42:18,412 --> 00:42:22,708
- Good boy, Schlemmer.
- Anything else you wish me to do?
592
00:42:22,833 --> 00:42:27,463
No, thanks. We can let
the East German police finish the job.
593
00:42:27,588 --> 00:42:30,966
Pardon me,
but I do not understand any of this.
594
00:42:31,091 --> 00:42:35,804
All it takes is a little knowledge of physics
and elementary psychology.
595
00:42:35,971 --> 00:42:39,183
Right now Comrade Otto Ludwig Piffl
596
00:42:39,308 --> 00:42:42,770
is tooling along on his motorcycle
toward East Berlin,
597
00:42:42,895 --> 00:42:46,690
gay, chipper,
feeling like a million Rubels.
598
00:42:46,815 --> 00:42:49,651
Little does he know
that back at the exhaust
599
00:42:49,777 --> 00:42:52,613
the fumes are filling the balloon.
600
00:42:52,738 --> 00:42:55,324
It gets bigger and bigger.
601
00:42:55,449 --> 00:43:00,829
And all the time in the sidecar
a little booby trap is ticking away.
602
00:43:00,954 --> 00:43:03,248
Now, if my calculations are correct,
603
00:43:03,373 --> 00:43:09,630
all these things will pay off once
he passes through the Brandenburg Gate.
604
00:43:58,637 --> 00:44:01,974
- Was haben Sie da?
- Keine Ahnung.
605
00:44:02,099 --> 00:44:05,853
- Ich sehe das Ding zum ersten Mal.
- Papiere.
606
00:44:05,978 --> 00:44:09,356
Was ist in dem Paket? Was tickt denn da?
607
00:44:09,481 --> 00:44:14,444
Das ist Kuckucksuhr. Habe ich als
Hochzeitsgeschenk bekommen.
608
00:44:14,570 --> 00:44:17,281
Tatséchlich? Eine Kuckucksuhr.
609
00:44:25,247 --> 00:44:28,750
Mensch. Sie schmuggeln
Amerikanische propaganda?
610
00:44:28,876 --> 00:44:34,089
Ich? Davon hab ich nichts gewusst.
Ich dachte, es ist eine Kuckucksuhr.
611
00:44:34,214 --> 00:44:36,341
lch konnte doch nicht wissen, was es war.
612
00:44:36,466 --> 00:44:39,344
Sieh dir ma! das hier an!
Wall Street Journal.
613
00:44:39,469 --> 00:44:43,932
- Wall Street? Sie sind verhaftet.
- Das ist Wahnsinn. lch bin unschuldig.
614
00:44:44,057 --> 00:44:47,519
Ich bin Mitglied der
Kommunistischen Partei.
615
00:44:47,644 --> 00:44:51,982
Genossen. BrUder.
Lang lebe die Revolution.
616
00:45:08,290 --> 00:45:11,543
You can forward my mail
care of American Express.
617
00:45:11,668 --> 00:45:14,087
And Vogue magazine.
And Screen Romances.
618
00:45:14,213 --> 00:45:17,925
If you promise to send me Pravda.
Just the funnies.
619
00:45:18,050 --> 00:45:21,136
He should be here by now.
What time is it?
620
00:45:21,261 --> 00:45:23,305
6.25. Relax.
621
00:45:24,473 --> 00:45:27,226
- Danke schén.
- Don't mention it.
622
00:45:27,351 --> 00:45:30,103
- Are you sure you want to leave her that?
- Oh, yes.
623
00:45:30,229 --> 00:45:33,857
- Otto says every woman should have one.
- I'm with Otto.
624
00:45:33,982 --> 00:45:37,611
Well, maybe she'll let me
borrow it on my night out.
625
00:45:38,195 --> 00:45:41,740
Do you realise that Otto
spelt backwards is Otto?
626
00:45:41,865 --> 00:45:45,953
- How about that?
- He looks just like Jack Kennedy.
627
00:45:46,078 --> 00:45:48,997
Only he's younger.
And he has more upstairs.
628
00:45:49,122 --> 00:45:51,291
- More brains?
- More hair.
629
00:45:51,416 --> 00:45:54,211
And ideologically he's much sounder.
630
00:45:54,336 --> 00:45:57,839
- Maybe we voted for the wrong man.
- That couldn't happen in Russia.
631
00:45:57,965 --> 00:46:01,093
- They don't make mistakes?
- They don't vote.
632
00:46:02,177 --> 00:46:05,514
Have you ever made love
to a revolutionary?
633
00:46:05,639 --> 00:46:09,142
No, but I once necked with
a Stevenson Democrat.
634
00:46:09,268 --> 00:46:12,479
Well, I've been engaged four times
so I know about men.
635
00:46:12,604 --> 00:46:16,191
Those subversives, they're the wildest.
No contest.
636
00:46:16,316 --> 00:46:20,946
And I just thought we were
lagging behind in missiles.
637
00:46:26,034 --> 00:46:28,120
Hiya, girls. Was ist cooking?
638
00:46:28,245 --> 00:46:31,581
Bertha, take Miss Hazeltine's
luggage back upstairs.
639
00:46:33,333 --> 00:46:36,336
- Back upstairs? She's leaving.
- I wouldn't count on it.
640
00:46:36,461 --> 00:46:40,048
- Bourbon and soda, anyone?
- What's he talking about?
641
00:46:40,173 --> 00:46:42,968
- Otto's coming to pick me up any minute.
- No, he's not.
642
00:46:43,093 --> 00:46:45,470
Otto's been picked up himself
by the police.
643
00:46:45,595 --> 00:46:47,681
- Police? What for?
- Who knows?
644
00:46:47,806 --> 00:46:50,642
They toss people in jail
like we throw away Kleenex.
645
00:46:50,767 --> 00:46:52,894
- In jail?
- How do you know?
646
00:46:53,020 --> 00:46:56,857
- Bad news travels fast. Say when.
- Where is he? I must go to him.
647
00:46:56,982 --> 00:47:01,320
- He's in trouble enough already.
- But he's my husband. I want to help him.
648
00:47:01,445 --> 00:47:04,489
We all do. That's why we have to
get the marriage annulled.
649
00:47:04,614 --> 00:47:06,366
- Now wait a minute.
- Look.
650
00:47:06,491 --> 00:47:11,705
If they find he's married to the parasite
daughter of an American capitalist,
651
00:47:11,830 --> 00:47:13,707
they'll send him up for 20 years.
652
00:47:13,832 --> 00:47:18,503
Slaving in the salt mines, schlepping
heavy bags barefoot through the snow
653
00:47:18,628 --> 00:47:22,215
with nothing to keep him warm
but the hot breath of the Cossacks.
654
00:47:22,341 --> 00:47:23,383
Otto!
655
00:47:26,011 --> 00:47:27,971
Nice work, Mac.
656
00:47:28,096 --> 00:47:29,890
Scarlett. Scarlett.
657
00:47:31,433 --> 00:47:35,562
- Try some ice.
- Bertha, call Dr Bauer, will you?
658
00:47:36,563 --> 00:47:41,735
I will call the doctor,
but I will not give back the mink coat.
659
00:47:48,825 --> 00:47:52,412
Die Temperatur, she is normal.
660
00:47:53,413 --> 00:47:55,832
Der Puls...
661
00:47:55,957 --> 00:48:00,003
- What's the matter?
- I missed the first act of "The Valkyrie".
662
00:48:00,128 --> 00:48:02,506
Der Puls, he is normal.
663
00:48:08,553 --> 00:48:11,932
Das ist definitely nicht normal.
664
00:48:12,057 --> 00:48:14,101
I'll fix that.
665
00:48:16,103 --> 00:48:17,145
Shh!
666
00:48:17,771 --> 00:48:20,899
Cut it out, kids. Scarlett is sick.
667
00:48:21,024 --> 00:48:23,985
If she dies, can I have my room back?
668
00:48:26,696 --> 00:48:30,659
How would I know?
I'm not a lawyer. That's your job.
669
00:48:30,784 --> 00:48:35,497
What am I paying you for? You must
have some contacts in East Berlin.
670
00:48:35,622 --> 00:48:39,793
I don't want the marriage just annulled,
I want it wiped off the books.
671
00:48:39,960 --> 00:48:44,214
I don't care how you do it.
Bribe one of the clerks. Destroy the files.
672
00:48:44,297 --> 00:48:48,969
If you could burn down the Reichstag, you
can set a match to a marriage certificate.
673
00:48:49,094 --> 00:48:51,304
And it has to be done tonight.
674
00:48:52,305 --> 00:48:55,100
- Cheers.
- Feeling pretty good, aren't you?
675
00:48:55,225 --> 00:48:57,310
- Not bad.
- You framed that poor boy.
676
00:48:57,436 --> 00:49:00,981
You bet. I'm not going to let
that kook ruin somebody's life.
677
00:49:01,106 --> 00:49:03,900
- But she loves him.
- Not her life, mine.
678
00:49:04,025 --> 00:49:06,069
I'm all set for the London job.
679
00:49:06,236 --> 00:49:08,864
I couldn't care less. I'm fed up with this.
680
00:49:08,989 --> 00:49:13,702
Hopping all around the map
from Baghdad to Caracas to Cape Town.
681
00:49:13,827 --> 00:49:16,371
- Who needs it?
- What would you suggest?
682
00:49:16,496 --> 00:49:19,708
A nice permanent job
with the home office in Atlanta.
683
00:49:19,833 --> 00:49:23,670
Atlanta? You can't be serious.
That's Siberia with mint juleps.
684
00:49:23,795 --> 00:49:26,506
- I want to go home.
- Give me one good reason.
685
00:49:26,631 --> 00:49:29,301
Cindy has to have her teeth straightened.
686
00:49:29,426 --> 00:49:32,762
Tommy is ten and he's never had
a peanut-butter sandwich.
687
00:49:32,888 --> 00:49:36,808
And I'd like to see Gunsmoke not in
German or Portuguese or Swahili.
688
00:49:36,933 --> 00:49:39,728
You want to go home and pay taxes?
We've got it made.
689
00:49:39,853 --> 00:49:45,108
Big house, servants, limousine. And you'd
give it up for a peanut-butter sandwich?
690
00:49:45,233 --> 00:49:46,902
It's a great life for you.
691
00:49:47,027 --> 00:49:51,156
Everywhere we go you find some
secretary who gives language lessons.
692
00:49:51,281 --> 00:49:53,783
- What does that mean?
- I can always tell.
693
00:49:53,909 --> 00:49:56,036
You start wearing your elevator shoes.
694
00:49:56,161 --> 00:49:58,538
- Are you implying?
- I've known for years.
695
00:49:58,663 --> 00:50:00,999
And you never said? That's not fair.
696
00:50:01,124 --> 00:50:04,044
I didn't want to be one of those
nagging American wives.
697
00:50:04,169 --> 00:50:08,298
But maybe I was wrong. Maybe we
should have had it out a long time ago.
698
00:50:12,802 --> 00:50:14,638
- How is she?
- Perfectly normal.
699
00:50:14,763 --> 00:50:17,182
She keeps asking for
somebody named Otto.
700
00:50:17,307 --> 00:50:20,018
- Never heard of him.
- She's going to be all right?
701
00:50:20,143 --> 00:50:24,606
Hundert Prozent. You will be happy
to know that the young lady is...
702
00:50:24,731 --> 00:50:27,817
How do you say it in English? Schwanger.
703
00:50:27,943 --> 00:50:30,570
- What's that?
- You're the one studying German.
704
00:50:30,695 --> 00:50:33,865
You know. Such a Dummkopf I am.
705
00:50:33,990 --> 00:50:36,368
Schwanger, schwanger...
706
00:50:36,493 --> 00:50:38,537
I know what it means.
707
00:50:39,454 --> 00:50:41,665
- What?
- You told me not to use words like that.
708
00:50:41,790 --> 00:50:44,793
- Come on.
- Do you want me to tell you?
709
00:50:44,918 --> 00:50:48,004
- Please.
- Scarlett's going to have puppies.
710
00:50:49,965 --> 00:50:51,466
- What?
- Pregnant?
711
00:50:51,591 --> 00:50:55,136
That is the word! Pregnant.
Auf Wiedersehen.
712
00:50:55,262 --> 00:51:01,268
- Schwanger
is pregnant, pregnant is schwanger ~
713
00:51:03,395 --> 00:51:06,940
Mother of Mercy,
is this the end of little Rico?
714
00:51:07,065 --> 00:51:12,028
All right, children, back to your room.
Get ready for bed.
715
00:51:13,363 --> 00:51:16,575
- I wonder what it's like to work for Pepsi.
- Please, Phyllis.
716
00:51:16,700 --> 00:51:20,078
So tomorrow Mr and Mrs Hazeltine
will arrive at the airport.
717
00:51:20,203 --> 00:51:25,041
And there will be little Scarlett-
unchanged, unspoiled, unwed.
718
00:51:25,166 --> 00:51:28,795
- Just slightly schwanger. Cheers.
- I'm trying to think.
719
00:51:28,920 --> 00:51:33,842
Think fast, because there'll be a few
questions asked. Like who's the father?
720
00:51:33,967 --> 00:51:38,513
- I'll have answers when the time comes.
- Better have Otto when the time comes.
721
00:51:38,638 --> 00:51:41,349
Otto? That would be disaster.
722
00:51:41,474 --> 00:51:45,478
Let me see. She was secretly married.
723
00:51:45,604 --> 00:51:47,731
To somebody in the American embassy.
724
00:51:47,856 --> 00:51:51,067
On honeymoon in the Alps
he was killed by an avalanche.
725
00:51:51,192 --> 00:51:53,486
Nah, that's no good.
726
00:51:53,612 --> 00:51:57,574
He was sent on a mission behind
the Iron Curtain. Never heard from again.
727
00:51:57,699 --> 00:52:01,036
The whole thing was so secret
we can't even mention his name.
728
00:52:01,161 --> 00:52:04,998
Now you're running amok.
You think Scarlett will stand still for--
729
00:52:05,123 --> 00:52:07,667
Better a dead hero than a live communist.
730
00:52:07,792 --> 00:52:12,672
I'll pick up a Distinguished Service Medal.
It was awarded to him posthumously.
731
00:52:12,797 --> 00:52:15,842
And while you're at it, pin one on yourself.
732
00:52:15,967 --> 00:52:19,262
First-Class Heel, with oak-leaf cluster.
733
00:52:19,387 --> 00:52:22,807
What can I do? I had enough
trouble getting the guy into jail.
734
00:52:22,932 --> 00:52:27,062
It's going to be ten times
as tough to get him out.
735
00:52:38,198 --> 00:52:39,699
Schlemmer.
736
00:52:39,824 --> 00:52:42,661
Don't click your heels.
I'm going to need you tonight.
737
00:52:42,786 --> 00:52:45,038
I'll pick you up in exactly ten minutes.
738
00:52:45,163 --> 00:52:51,252
Call Ingeborg. Tell her it's an emergency.
We'll pick her up in exactly 12 minutes.
739
00:53:14,234 --> 00:53:16,945
- W0 fahren Sie hin? Papiere.
- American citizen.
740
00:53:17,070 --> 00:53:21,449
- What is purpose of your visit?
- I'm seeing Commissar Peripetchikoff.
741
00:53:21,574 --> 00:53:24,160
- What for?
- On business. I represent Coca-Cola.
742
00:53:24,285 --> 00:53:26,371
Coca-Cola? You have proof?
743
00:53:26,496 --> 00:53:28,540
Will this do?
744
00:53:29,749 --> 00:53:32,460
- I confiscate proof.
- Just return the empties.
745
00:53:32,585 --> 00:53:34,629
OK. Proceed.
746
00:53:44,723 --> 00:53:47,350
If I may say so, this whole idea is crazy.
747
00:53:47,475 --> 00:53:50,478
It will not work. I can feel it.
And I'm scared.
748
00:53:50,603 --> 00:53:53,648
- Pull yourself together. That's an order.
- Yes, sir.
749
00:53:53,773 --> 00:53:55,483
I'm scared also.
750
00:53:55,608 --> 00:53:59,362
Not for myself. I only worry
something will happen to my new dress.
751
00:53:59,487 --> 00:54:01,364
I'll buy you half a dozen.
752
00:54:01,489 --> 00:54:04,325
- They're at the Hotel Potemkin. Know it?
- Yes, sir.
753
00:54:04,492 --> 00:54:09,247
It used to be the Hotel Goering.
And before that it was the Hotel Bismarck.
754
00:55:20,235 --> 00:55:21,277
Hey!
755
00:55:22,403 --> 00:55:26,699
- Gospodin MacNamara.
- If it isn't Hart, Schaffner and Karl Marx.
756
00:55:26,866 --> 00:55:29,953
- I see you bring blonde lady.
- Ring-a-ding-ding.
757
00:55:30,119 --> 00:55:32,997
Sit down, my friends. Join us.
758
00:55:33,122 --> 00:55:36,125
- Right here, Fréulein.
- I said Karl Marx, not Groucho.
759
00:55:36,251 --> 00:55:40,296
- To what we owe this pleasure?
- I thought we might trade.
760
00:55:40,463 --> 00:55:44,008
- Coca-Cola?
- No. You'd like Ingeborg to work for you.
761
00:55:44,133 --> 00:55:45,760
- Want to trade her?
- Right.
762
00:55:45,885 --> 00:55:47,512
- For Russian one?
- Wrong.
763
00:55:47,679 --> 00:55:51,474
I do not blame you.
Ours is built like bow-legged samovar.
764
00:55:55,979 --> 00:55:59,232
We find proposition very interesting.
Now what can we offer you?
765
00:55:59,399 --> 00:56:03,069
- All I want from you is a small favour.
- Small, big. Anything.
766
00:56:03,194 --> 00:56:06,447
There's a guy named Otto Piffl.
He's being held by the police.
767
00:56:06,614 --> 00:56:08,867
- For what reason?
- Stole my cuckoo clock.
768
00:56:09,033 --> 00:56:10,618
- You want clock back?
- Wrong.
769
00:56:10,785 --> 00:56:12,370
- You want Piffl back.
- Right.
770
00:56:12,537 --> 00:56:17,375
Impossible. We cannot interfere with
internal affairs of East Germany.
771
00:56:17,542 --> 00:56:22,380
- No Piffl, no deal. Let's go.
- Wait. You're not giving us a chance.
772
00:56:22,547 --> 00:56:26,301
Is old Russian proverb. You cannot
milk cow with hands in pockets.
773
00:56:26,467 --> 00:56:29,929
Herr Ober. Vodka, caviar.
774
00:56:30,096 --> 00:56:33,975
Herr Kapellmeister. More rock 'n' roll!
775
00:57:06,925 --> 00:57:10,678
You like this caviar?
We give you a hundred pounds.
776
00:57:10,845 --> 00:57:12,847
I want Piffl.
777
00:57:44,504 --> 00:57:50,343
Would you take new automobile?
1961 Moskvich convertible, two-tone.
778
00:57:50,510 --> 00:57:54,097
- You mean that Russian hot rod outside?
- Is wonderful car.
779
00:57:54,263 --> 00:57:58,142
- Is exact copy of 1937 Nash.
- Not interested.
780
00:58:41,269 --> 00:58:44,981
We will give you Chinese cigarettes,
Armenian rugs.
781
00:58:45,148 --> 00:58:48,192
- Bulgarian yoghurt?
- Piffl or nothing.
782
00:58:49,068 --> 00:58:53,740
I know what. We have warehouse
full of Spam left over from lend-lease.
783
00:58:53,906 --> 00:58:57,952
It's five o'clock and we're getting
nowhere. Ingeborg, put your shoes on.
784
00:58:58,119 --> 00:59:01,998
One more minute, please.
Summit conference.
785
00:59:06,169 --> 00:59:09,505
Before we make deal
we want right of inspection.
786
00:59:09,672 --> 00:59:12,175
- I veto it.
- I thought so.
787
00:59:12,341 --> 00:59:15,386
Well, what are we going to do?
He's got it, we want it.
788
00:59:15,511 --> 00:59:18,306
Are we going to accept
this blackmailing deal?
789
00:59:18,431 --> 00:59:19,891
- Let us vote.
- I vote yes.
790
00:59:20,016 --> 00:59:22,268
- I vote yes.
- Two out of three. Deal is on.
791
00:59:22,435 --> 00:59:26,814
Comrades, I must warn you.
I'm not really from soft-drinks secretariat.
792
00:59:26,939 --> 00:59:29,609
I am undercover agent
assigned to watch you.
793
00:59:29,734 --> 00:59:33,029
- In that case I vote no. Deal is off.
- But I vote yes.
794
00:59:33,196 --> 00:59:35,865
Two out of three again. Deal is on.
795
01:00:03,518 --> 01:00:05,812
OK, kids, strip for action.
796
01:00:10,525 --> 01:00:12,401
Nein, nein.
797
01:00:12,568 --> 01:00:14,737
Genug, aufhbren!
798
01:00:14,904 --> 01:00:17,657
Hbrt auf! Ich will schlafen.
799
01:00:17,824 --> 01:00:21,494
Ich will schlafen. Lasst mich nur schlafen!
800
01:00:31,671 --> 01:00:35,633
- Sind Sie ein amerikanischer Spion?
- Nein.
801
01:00:35,800 --> 01:00:40,388
- FUr wen arbeiten Sie? CIA?
- Nein. Ich will schlafen.
802
01:00:47,603 --> 01:00:49,897
- Sind Sie ein amerikanischer Spion?
- Nein.
803
01:00:50,022 --> 01:00:53,651
- Sind Sie ein Geheimagent von Allen Dulles?
- Nein, nein.
804
01:00:53,818 --> 01:00:56,946
Lasst mich schlafen. Ich will nur schlafen.
805
01:01:02,201 --> 01:01:04,412
Aufhéren! Aufhéren!
806
01:01:04,579 --> 01:01:06,914
Ich halte das nicht mehr aus. Ich gestehe.
807
01:01:07,081 --> 01:01:09,500
Ich gestehe! Ich gestehe!
808
01:01:12,170 --> 01:01:14,297
- Sie gestehen was?
- Alles.
809
01:01:14,463 --> 01:01:18,593
- Sind Sie ein amerikanischer Spion?
- Ja, ich bin ein amerikanischer Spion.
810
01:01:18,759 --> 01:01:22,889
Ja, ich arbeite fUr die CIA.
Ja, ich bin von Wall Street bezahlt.
811
01:01:23,014 --> 01:01:27,810
Ja, ich bin ein Geheimagent
von Allen Dulles. Ja, ja, ja!
812
01:01:33,566 --> 01:01:35,568
Unterschreiben.
813
01:01:45,953 --> 01:01:49,373
Borodenko. Geheime Russiche Polizei.
Haben Sie ein Piffl?
814
01:01:49,540 --> 01:01:52,001
- Jawohl.
- Wir nehmen ihn gleich mit.
815
01:01:52,168 --> 01:01:56,672
Hier ist sein Gesténdnis.
Er ist ein amerikanischer Spion.
816
01:01:56,839 --> 01:01:59,050
Amerikanischer Spion?
817
01:01:59,217 --> 01:02:01,969
Moment.
818
01:02:02,094 --> 01:02:04,889
Did you hear that?
He is a confessed American spy.
819
01:02:05,014 --> 01:02:08,184
Then I want nothing to do with it.
If they find out in Moscow...
820
01:02:08,351 --> 01:02:12,730
- He's right. No secretary's worth that risk.
- Why should they find out in Moscow?
821
01:02:12,897 --> 01:02:14,690
- I will not inform.
- But if they do.
822
01:02:14,815 --> 01:02:19,278
- Then we just cross into West Berlin.
- Easy for you to say. You're a bachelor.
823
01:02:19,403 --> 01:02:22,490
But if I defect, you know
what they will do to my family?
824
01:02:22,615 --> 01:02:24,742
They will line them up and shoot them.
825
01:02:24,909 --> 01:02:29,747
My wife and my mother-in-law and
my sister-in-law and my brother-in-law...
826
01:02:29,914 --> 01:02:32,250
Comrades, let's do it.
827
01:02:51,018 --> 01:02:54,939
You try to bamboozle us. You say he's
cuckoo clock thief. He's American spy.
828
01:02:55,106 --> 01:02:57,441
- Ich bin ein amerikanischer Spion.
- Shh!
829
01:02:57,608 --> 01:03:01,737
You better get him out of here
before we all get into trouble.
830
01:03:03,447 --> 01:03:08,327
- A pleasure to do business with you boys.
- Wait. Where is blonde lady?
831
01:03:08,494 --> 01:03:10,579
I'll send her right over.
832
01:03:40,484 --> 01:03:42,194
You poor baby.
833
01:03:42,361 --> 01:03:44,947
- Did you hurt yourself?
- Let me help you.
834
01:03:46,741 --> 01:03:48,534
He bamboozled us again.
835
01:03:48,701 --> 01:03:52,538
...Brandenburg Gate.
836
01:04:12,016 --> 01:04:15,186
Those Russians - I hope
they were not too disappointed.
837
01:04:15,311 --> 01:04:18,230
- That's their problem.
- Actually, they were cute.
838
01:04:18,356 --> 01:04:22,151
I can't decide which one I liked best,
the big fat one or the bald one.
839
01:04:22,318 --> 01:04:24,820
That's Schlemmer's problem.
840
01:04:33,829 --> 01:04:36,624
Fritz, what's that behind us?
841
01:04:36,749 --> 01:04:40,086
- Looks like a 1937 Nash.
- OK, step on it.
842
01:05:48,487 --> 01:05:50,990
Halt!
843
01:05:54,034 --> 01:05:56,871
- We came through earlier.
- You wait.
844
01:06:00,624 --> 01:06:03,878
Ich bin ein amerikanischer Spion.
845
01:06:14,513 --> 01:06:16,557
Here is empties.
846
01:06:17,349 --> 01:06:19,310
Aufhalten!
847
01:06:19,435 --> 01:06:22,021
Aufhalten! lch sagte, aufhalten!
848
01:06:41,749 --> 01:06:43,792
Let's go, Fritz.
849
01:06:46,629 --> 01:06:47,963
Aufhalten!
850
01:06:48,130 --> 01:06:50,633
Aufhalten! Aufhalten!
851
01:06:50,799 --> 01:06:52,593
Aufhalten!
852
01:06:59,808 --> 01:07:04,605
- ltsy bitsy teenie weenie
yellow polka-dot bikini ~
853
01:07:07,107 --> 01:07:09,151
Drop dead.
854
01:07:25,960 --> 01:07:27,920
That's enough. Cut it out.
855
01:07:28,003 --> 01:07:31,549
Why are you so unfriendly?
I thought everything was wunderbar.
856
01:07:31,674 --> 01:07:35,094
Some wunderbar! Can you imagine
what's going to happen at noon
857
01:07:35,219 --> 01:07:39,598
when the Hazeltines step off that plane
and get a load of their new son-in-law?
858
01:07:39,723 --> 01:07:40,891
You slob.
859
01:07:41,016 --> 01:07:44,478
And when he opens his big fat
Red mouth, it's goodbye, Charlie.
860
01:07:44,603 --> 01:07:47,273
- Who is Charlie?
- Charles H. Kaputt.
861
01:07:47,439 --> 01:07:50,859
- I wish Scarlett would get here.
- I wish Schlemmer would get here.
862
01:07:50,985 --> 01:07:52,778
Or send my dress back.
863
01:07:52,903 --> 01:07:57,199
- What do you want in it? Cream, sugar?
- Benzedrine. It's going to be a rough day.
864
01:08:13,132 --> 01:08:16,927
You better put something on.
Your goose pimples are showing.
865
01:08:18,137 --> 01:08:21,056
That's nothing. You should see my sister.
866
01:08:29,565 --> 01:08:31,358
- Where is he?
- Scarlett.
867
01:08:31,525 --> 01:08:35,446
I've got to talk to you.
There's only one way out of this mess.
868
01:08:35,613 --> 01:08:37,990
Otto. Otto, darling.
869
01:08:38,157 --> 01:08:40,117
Otto, it's me, Scarlett.
870
01:08:40,659 --> 01:08:43,912
Otto. Otto, darling, wake up.
871
01:08:44,079 --> 01:08:47,916
- Scarlett?
- I've something very exciting to tell you.
872
01:08:48,042 --> 01:08:50,085
How did I get here?
873
01:08:56,425 --> 01:09:01,138
You! I should take that wedding present
and break it over your head.
874
01:09:01,305 --> 01:09:04,099
That's gratitude after I got you out of jail.
875
01:09:04,266 --> 01:09:06,644
- You got me into jail.
- So we're even.
876
01:09:06,769 --> 01:09:10,356
- When you didn't show up I fainted.
- It's all his fault.
877
01:09:10,522 --> 01:09:13,442
- Not entirely.
- Want to hear what the doctor said?
878
01:09:13,567 --> 01:09:16,320
- He'll need coffee.
- From you I don't need anything.
879
01:09:16,487 --> 01:09:21,367
- I'm going to have a baby.
- If my wife wasn't going to have a baby...
880
01:09:21,492 --> 01:09:23,786
- What?
- That's right.
881
01:09:23,952 --> 01:09:27,289
Liebchen!
882
01:09:28,457 --> 01:09:32,294
That's just what the world needs.
Another bouncing baby Bolshevik.
883
01:09:33,671 --> 01:09:36,924
- I was so afraid you wouldn't want it.
- I want dozens.
884
01:09:37,091 --> 01:09:39,843
- So do I.
- So does the Party. They encourage it.
885
01:09:39,968 --> 01:09:43,806
- We must outproduce the West!
- I hear they got a new plan now.
886
01:09:43,931 --> 01:09:48,394
Instead of a woman taking nine months,
nine women are going to do it in one.
887
01:09:48,560 --> 01:09:53,691
The minute we arrive we must get on the
waiting list for the people's obstetrician.
888
01:09:53,857 --> 01:09:58,237
No, I'd like to fly over my own doctor.
And my old nurse and my governess.
889
01:09:58,362 --> 01:10:01,240
What for? The state
takes care of everything.
890
01:10:01,365 --> 01:10:05,369
At six months the baby will be enrolled in
the people's nursery school.
891
01:10:05,494 --> 01:10:08,163
Naturally we will visit every other Sunday.
892
01:10:08,288 --> 01:10:11,458
- Every other Sunday?!
- You can bring him some Pablum.
893
01:10:11,625 --> 01:10:13,419
With a file in it.
894
01:10:13,585 --> 01:10:15,879
Imperialist stooge.
895
01:10:16,046 --> 01:10:17,923
And of course we'll see him on May Day.
896
01:10:18,090 --> 01:10:21,593
He'll be marching by in the parade.
We can wave to him.
897
01:10:21,760 --> 01:10:25,806
You can also wave to him on Lenin's
birthday and on Yuri Gagarin's birthday.
898
01:10:25,973 --> 01:10:29,810
- He'll be parading all the time.
- At least it'll keep him off the streets.
899
01:10:29,977 --> 01:10:31,145
The tickets.
900
01:10:31,270 --> 01:10:35,190
Where are the tickets? We must find out
when the next train leaves for Moscow.
901
01:10:35,357 --> 01:10:38,026
Forget it, Piffl.
You're not going to Moscow.
902
01:10:38,152 --> 01:10:40,446
You can't even get back to East Berlin.
903
01:10:40,612 --> 01:10:44,032
- Why not?
- Because you're an American spy.
904
01:10:44,158 --> 01:10:47,161
- Who said so?
- You did. Don't you remember last night?
905
01:10:47,286 --> 01:10:51,039
You signed a confession.
Ein amerikanischer Spion.
906
01:10:51,165 --> 01:10:52,207
Nein.
907
01:10:52,332 --> 01:10:54,543
- Nein, nein, nein.
- Ja. Ja, ja, ja.
908
01:10:54,710 --> 01:10:57,713
Isn't that thrilling, darling?
Why didn't you tell me?
909
01:10:57,880 --> 01:10:59,089
But I'm...
910
01:10:59,214 --> 01:11:00,883
I'm not a spy. It's not true.
911
01:11:01,008 --> 01:11:03,469
Makes you think about
those other confessions.
912
01:11:03,635 --> 01:11:07,306
Another hour and they'd have had you
confessing to germ warfare in Laos.
913
01:11:07,431 --> 01:11:11,560
- You did this to me.
- Or was it your communist chums?
914
01:11:11,685 --> 01:11:13,479
We'll tell them it was a trick.
915
01:11:13,604 --> 01:11:16,690
Think they'd believe me,
an imperialist stooge?
916
01:11:16,815 --> 01:11:21,945
- I shall kill you.
- Easy, or you'll end up in the people's ER.
917
01:11:23,405 --> 01:11:26,992
Otto, darling.
What are we going to call the baby?
918
01:11:33,791 --> 01:11:36,627
My dress. What did you do to my dress?
919
01:11:36,752 --> 01:11:38,796
- Schlemmer.
- Yes, sir?
920
01:11:38,962 --> 01:11:42,382
- I'm sorry I didn't shave this morning.
- My dress! It's ruined.
921
01:11:42,508 --> 01:11:46,011
- Any trouble getting out of East Berlin?
- I had trouble in West Berlin.
922
01:11:46,178 --> 01:11:49,014
I was picked up by
an American soldier in a Jeep.
923
01:11:49,181 --> 01:11:52,184
Wanted to take my picture
for something called Playboy.
924
01:11:52,267 --> 01:11:55,896
- Get out of those silly clothes.
- Yes, sir. if I can have my suit?
925
01:11:56,063 --> 01:11:58,106
It's in your office.
926
01:12:05,531 --> 01:12:10,244
And it's going to be such fun shopping.
We need a bassinet and a layette.
927
01:12:10,410 --> 01:12:12,704
And we have to run down to Paris.
928
01:12:12,871 --> 01:12:16,124
They have marvy maternity clothes
at Christian Dior's.
929
01:12:16,291 --> 01:12:19,378
Forget all that.
We can't even afford milk for the baby.
930
01:12:19,503 --> 01:12:23,674
The doctors have a whole new theory.
Milk's the worst thing for babies.
931
01:12:23,799 --> 01:12:28,428
Don't you understand?
I'm through, finished, ausgespielt.
932
01:12:28,554 --> 01:12:31,723
To the communists I'm a spy,
to the Americans I'm a communist.
933
01:12:31,890 --> 01:12:34,893
I've nothing. No home, no job...
934
01:12:35,060 --> 01:12:38,981
- Not even my motorcycle.
- That's tough. All you got is a rich wife.
935
01:12:39,106 --> 01:12:44,069
In January when I'm 18 Daddy's giving me
10,000 shares of Coca-Cola stock.
936
01:12:44,194 --> 01:12:46,154
I'm a worker, not a gigolo.
937
01:12:46,280 --> 01:12:48,949
- I will not take money from you.
- You bet you won't.
938
01:12:49,074 --> 01:12:53,203
When your father finds out
he'll cut you off without a red cent.
939
01:12:53,328 --> 01:12:55,664
- Pardon the expression.
- I guess so.
940
01:12:55,831 --> 01:12:59,167
Daddy has a fit every time I order
anything with Russian dressing.
941
01:12:59,334 --> 01:13:02,254
Looks bad, doesn't it?
But I'm going to help you.
942
01:13:02,337 --> 01:13:05,716
- If idiot boy here will cooperate.
- You go to hell.
943
01:13:06,550 --> 01:13:10,596
Long distance.
Mr Hazeltine calling from London.
944
01:13:10,721 --> 01:13:13,807
London? Uh-oh.
The bloodhounds are closing in.
945
01:13:14,975 --> 01:13:17,102
Hello? Yes, this is MacNamara.
946
01:13:17,227 --> 01:13:19,521
I'm going to have your head for this.
947
01:13:19,688 --> 01:13:24,902
What do you mean for what? We get off
at London and there's this telegram.
948
01:13:25,027 --> 01:13:29,031
"Congratulations, you're going to be
a grandfather." Signed MacNamara.
949
01:13:29,156 --> 01:13:33,076
- Is this your idea of a joke?
- No, it's not my idea of a joke.
950
01:13:33,243 --> 01:13:37,164
- Did somebody cable your father?
- Yes. Mrs MacNamara.
951
01:13:37,289 --> 01:13:39,249
Oh, she did?
952
01:13:39,374 --> 01:13:44,087
Yes, it's true. We didn't want you to be
too surprised when you got here.
953
01:13:44,212 --> 01:13:49,092
I send you a sweet, pure, innocent girl
who isn't even 18 yet, and...
954
01:13:49,217 --> 01:13:50,260
What?
955
01:13:51,136 --> 01:13:54,640
- It's all right, Melanie. She's married.
- Oh, thank heaven.
956
01:13:54,765 --> 01:13:56,892
Wait a minute, MacNamara. Not so fast.
957
01:13:57,017 --> 01:13:59,853
Just exactly who is she married to?
958
01:13:59,978 --> 01:14:02,981
I wouldn't worry about it.
He's a wonderful boy.
959
01:14:03,106 --> 01:14:08,612
Handsome and from one of Europe's
best families. You'll be crazy about him.
960
01:14:08,737 --> 01:14:13,283
Yes, sir. We'll bring him along to
the airport with us. Happy landing.
961
01:14:13,367 --> 01:14:14,409
Schlemmer.
962
01:14:14,534 --> 01:14:17,996
- What are you up to now?
- You can't fool Daddy that easy.
963
01:14:18,121 --> 01:14:21,625
- I didn't say it'd be easy, but we can try.
- Try what?
964
01:14:21,750 --> 01:14:24,711
To turn this crumbum
into a perfect son-in-law.
965
01:14:24,836 --> 01:14:27,047
We've got three hours and two minutes.
966
01:14:27,172 --> 01:14:30,217
- Oh, I get it. Isn't he clever?
- Schlemmer!
967
01:14:30,342 --> 01:14:32,302
I categorically refuse!
968
01:14:32,427 --> 01:14:35,514
Sorry, sir. I had difficulty
getting out of the girdle.
969
01:14:35,639 --> 01:14:39,393
I want all those people out there
to stand by for orders.
970
01:14:39,518 --> 01:14:43,772
- General alarm. Complete mobilisation.
- Like the good old days! Yes, sir.
971
01:14:43,897 --> 01:14:45,941
I will not be a party to this.
972
01:14:46,066 --> 01:14:48,694
- OK, if you don't love your wife...
- I worship her!
973
01:14:48,819 --> 01:14:53,240
There's nothing I wouldn't do for you,
but I will not compromise my principles.
974
01:14:53,365 --> 01:14:56,868
And I'd do anything for you,
even if we had to starve together.
975
01:14:56,994 --> 01:14:59,955
But we can't ask the baby to starve.
Not at his age.
976
01:15:00,080 --> 01:15:01,957
You're upsetting your wife.
977
01:15:02,082 --> 01:15:04,626
I will not be turned into a capitalist!
978
01:15:04,751 --> 01:15:07,713
Once you are in good standing
I don't care what you do.
979
01:15:07,838 --> 01:15:11,091
You can steal our formula
and square yourself with Moscow.
980
01:15:11,258 --> 01:15:15,679
But at noon today you are going to
look and act like a gentleman.
981
01:15:20,851 --> 01:15:23,603
Everybody at their posts awaiting orders.
982
01:15:23,729 --> 01:15:26,982
First, get a barber and
a manicurist up to the office.
983
01:15:27,149 --> 01:15:31,278
Next, I want my lawyer. Next, I want to
speak to the manager of the Berlin Hilton.
984
01:15:31,403 --> 01:15:35,323
Next, get ahold of that moth-eaten count
from the Cafe Wien.
985
01:15:35,490 --> 01:15:38,869
- Count von Droste-Schattenburg?
- That's him. I want to see him.
986
01:15:38,994 --> 01:15:43,331
And send Ingeborg in mit pad and pencil.
Schnell machen. One, two, three!
987
01:15:43,457 --> 01:15:45,417
- Jawohl.
- All right, next.
988
01:15:45,584 --> 01:15:48,503
- Clean him up. Over there.
- I've agreed to nothing.
989
01:15:48,628 --> 01:15:51,506
Is it against the party line
to use indoor plumbing?
990
01:15:51,673 --> 01:15:53,592
It won't hurt a bit.
991
01:15:53,717 --> 01:15:57,888
Even if it hurts -
mit the hot water, mit the soap.
992
01:15:59,014 --> 01:16:00,724
- Yes, Mr MacNamara?
- Ready?
993
01:16:00,849 --> 01:16:03,060
Always ready.
994
01:16:03,185 --> 01:16:07,647
First, call Reinhardt and Reinhardt, tailors.
Have them send everything they've got.
995
01:16:07,773 --> 01:16:12,652
Single-breasted, three-button, narrow
lapels, dark blue, size... 39 regular.
996
01:16:12,819 --> 01:16:15,489
Next, call Pleschke the haberdasher.
I want shirts:
997
01:16:15,614 --> 01:16:18,867
Broadcloth, plain or tab collars,
size... 15 1/234.
998
01:16:19,034 --> 01:16:23,413
Shorts: Nylon or cotton, size 32.
Socks: French lisle, dark tone, size 11 %.
999
01:16:23,538 --> 01:16:29,127
Ties: Not too wide, not too narrow.
Also, pyjamas, handkerchiefs, etc, etc.
1000
01:16:29,252 --> 01:16:33,965
Next have Hochstéittefis deliver shoes.
British or Italian, brown or black, size 9B.
1001
01:16:35,801 --> 01:16:40,764
Yes, Fritz. No, Fritz. I need you.
Sleepy or not, everybody works today.
1002
01:16:40,889 --> 01:16:46,978
Next, call any first-class hatter.
I want an assortment of hats, size 7 %.
1003
01:16:47,145 --> 01:16:50,649
Correction. After we cut his hair, 7 'A.
1004
01:16:50,774 --> 01:16:55,821
Next, call that store on TauentzienstraBe
for a matched set of men's luggage.
1005
01:16:55,946 --> 01:17:00,826
Next, call the Ritz jewellers. I want to see
wedding rings, also engagement rings.
1006
01:17:00,992 --> 01:17:02,828
No less than two carats.
1007
01:17:02,953 --> 01:17:04,996
Make sure he scrubs behind his ears.
1008
01:17:05,122 --> 01:17:09,543
Next, have Kottler's restaurant send up
a seven-course dinner and table setting.
1009
01:17:09,668 --> 01:17:14,381
Next, have a florist make up a bouquet.
Also, two boutonnieres, white carnations.
1010
01:17:14,506 --> 01:17:16,633
- Any questions?
- Yes.
1011
01:17:16,800 --> 01:17:20,137
- Can I go home and get some clothes?
- At a time like this?
1012
01:17:20,262 --> 01:17:23,098
Dressed or not dressed,
everybody works. Get with it.
1013
01:17:23,223 --> 01:17:24,891
- Haare schneiden?- ManikUre?
1014
01:17:25,016 --> 01:17:28,520
- Not me, him. Chop that mop off.
- Jawohl.
1015
01:17:28,603 --> 01:17:31,565
- And give him a shave and a manicure.
- No!
1016
01:17:31,690 --> 01:17:33,900
- What do you mean no?
- No manicure.
1017
01:17:34,025 --> 01:17:36,695
It's a symbol of bourgeois insecurity.
1018
01:17:36,820 --> 01:17:39,739
In Russia they're so secure
they chew their nails off.
1019
01:17:39,865 --> 01:17:42,784
Nobody will ever know.
You can wear gloves.
1020
01:17:42,909 --> 01:17:47,247
Gloves? Why don't you ask me
to wear striped pants?
1021
01:17:50,000 --> 01:17:55,630
Ingeborg, I also want some striped pants,
a morning coat and a white waistcoat.
1022
01:17:56,840 --> 01:18:01,469
I have located the count. He's working in
the men's room at the Kempinski Hotel.
1023
01:18:01,636 --> 01:18:05,390
- How soon can he get here?
- He wants to know if you can come there.
1024
01:18:05,515 --> 01:18:08,351
- Absolutely not.
- I'll tell him. Your lawyer is here.
1025
01:18:08,476 --> 01:18:10,145
Come in.
1026
01:18:10,353 --> 01:18:12,981
Ah, Herr MacNamara.
Isn't this a glorious day?
1027
01:18:13,106 --> 01:18:15,859
Cut the schmooze.
Here's what I want you to do.
1028
01:18:15,984 --> 01:18:21,198
It has already been done. The young lady
can consider herself unmarried.
1029
01:18:21,364 --> 01:18:22,532
Unmarried?!
1030
01:18:22,657 --> 01:18:27,162
I managed to liberate that marriage
licence from the files in East Berlin.
1031
01:18:27,287 --> 01:18:31,875
It's that damn German efficiency.
That's all I need. An illegitimate baby.
1032
01:18:32,000 --> 01:18:34,461
- I beg your pardon?
- Ich bringe die Schuhe.
1033
01:18:34,586 --> 01:18:36,087
Unpack them.
1034
01:18:36,213 --> 01:18:40,508
Go back to East Berlin and put
that marriage licence back in the file.
1035
01:18:40,634 --> 01:18:43,470
- If you say so.
- But first, draw up adoption papers.
1036
01:18:43,595 --> 01:18:45,639
- For the baby?
- No, Otto Ludwig Piffl.
1037
01:18:45,764 --> 01:18:48,850
We're going to have him
adopted by a real aristocrat.
1038
01:18:48,975 --> 01:18:50,393
- Oh, a baron?
- Better.
1039
01:18:50,518 --> 01:18:52,687
The men's room attendant
at the Kempinski .
1040
01:18:52,854 --> 01:18:54,689
- Who?
- Leave the name blank for now.
1041
01:18:54,814 --> 01:18:56,316
Get to work.
1042
01:18:56,441 --> 01:19:00,278
Next, shoes. No, no, nothing with tassels.
Those are all right.
1043
01:19:00,445 --> 01:19:04,574
Alligator? That's for band leaders.
Those are OK, OK...
1044
01:19:05,700 --> 01:19:10,372
- Totally unacceptable. Full of holes.
- Guten Morgen. Reinhardt.
1045
01:19:10,497 --> 01:19:12,958
Be right with you.
I'll take those, but not those.
1046
01:19:13,124 --> 01:19:16,086
- What have we here?
- Latest styles. All fabrics imported.
1047
01:19:16,211 --> 01:19:19,172
They look deported. Too loud, too quiet...
1048
01:19:19,297 --> 01:19:22,968
All right, but take the padding out
of the shoulders. That's not bad.
1049
01:19:23,093 --> 01:19:25,971
Belt on the back?
That went out with high-button shoes.
1050
01:19:26,096 --> 01:19:29,015
- I have some here.
- Take that into the conference room.
1051
01:19:29,140 --> 01:19:32,269
I want these in 24 hours.
Where's the morning coat and pants?
1052
01:19:32,394 --> 01:19:34,938
- My assistant is bringing them.
- Fit those now.
1053
01:19:35,063 --> 01:19:36,940
- Schmuck.
- What did you say?
1054
01:19:37,065 --> 01:19:39,401
- Schmuck, jewellery.
- Oh.
1055
01:19:39,526 --> 01:19:41,569
Come with me. You too.
1056
01:19:45,073 --> 01:19:46,241
Sitzen machen.
1057
01:19:46,408 --> 01:19:50,745
A strong, healthy girl like you
should be cutting wheat in the Ukraine.
1058
01:19:50,912 --> 01:19:53,999
Leave it a little longer on the sides.
Like Sal Mineo.
1059
01:19:54,124 --> 01:19:56,293
- Pick two wedding rings.
- Left foot.
1060
01:19:56,418 --> 01:19:58,545
- Do you like these?
- Gold? Never.
1061
01:19:58,670 --> 01:20:00,672
I prefer the steel of Stalingrad.
1062
01:20:00,755 --> 01:20:04,551
You guys are always yakking about
disarmament. Might as well start now.
1063
01:20:04,676 --> 01:20:07,012
- Up.
- He's giving you an engagement ring.
1064
01:20:07,137 --> 01:20:08,555
- He is?
- I am?
1065
01:20:08,680 --> 01:20:11,349
- Too big.
- I assume the gentleman will wear socks.
1066
01:20:11,474 --> 01:20:13,560
- Not if I can help it.
- Waist 31.
1067
01:20:13,685 --> 01:20:15,353
- Sit down.
- I want this one.
1068
01:20:15,478 --> 01:20:16,730
- How much?
- 8,000 Marks.
1069
01:20:16,896 --> 01:20:19,983
- Thank you.
- Wait. Who's paying for this foolishness?
1070
01:20:20,108 --> 01:20:22,235
Relax, you've got assets.
1071
01:20:22,360 --> 01:20:24,487
So I sit on my assets and clip coupons?
1072
01:20:24,612 --> 01:20:27,699
The baby will clip coupons.
We'll put the money in his name.
1073
01:20:27,782 --> 01:20:28,992
Sit down.
1074
01:20:29,117 --> 01:20:31,244
I won't have my son grow up a capitalist.
1075
01:20:31,369 --> 01:20:35,457
When he's 18 he can decide if he wants
to be a capitalist or a rich communist.
1076
01:20:39,711 --> 01:20:43,381
Yes? The manager of the Berlin Hilton?
Put him on.
1077
01:20:43,506 --> 01:20:45,091
Over there.
1078
01:20:45,216 --> 01:20:48,470
I want to reserve the bridal suite.
Yes, checking in today.
1079
01:20:48,595 --> 01:20:52,766
I didn't ask you how much it costs.
This is for the son-in-law of a millionaire.
1080
01:20:52,891 --> 01:20:57,145
- Double bed, silk sheets...
- We don't need a table and chairs.
1081
01:20:57,270 --> 01:21:03,610
- We're going to have all our meals in bed.
- Never mind sheets. Make it a tablecloth.
1082
01:21:03,735 --> 01:21:09,157
Silk sheets, diamond rings, bridal suites.
What is this? La dolce vita?
1083
01:21:09,282 --> 01:21:12,285
Hey, what are you doing?
Stop it. Are you crazy?
1084
01:21:12,410 --> 01:21:16,831
- The haberdasher is in your office.
- Keep an eye on the Kremlin Kid.
1085
01:21:17,999 --> 01:21:22,128
- There's a newspaperman to see you.
- Not today.
1086
01:21:23,296 --> 01:21:25,382
Sitzen machen.
1087
01:21:25,507 --> 01:21:28,259
- No, white shirts only. French cuff.
- Jawohl.
1088
01:21:28,385 --> 01:21:31,554
Socks fine. If he objects,
we'll paint his feet black.
1089
01:21:31,679 --> 01:21:33,306
- Where's the pyjamas?
- Here.
1090
01:21:33,431 --> 01:21:35,642
- OK. What's this?
- They're beautiful.
1091
01:21:35,767 --> 01:21:37,852
They are terrible. Let's see the ties.
1092
01:21:37,977 --> 01:21:41,147
Jawohl, nix, jawohl, definitely nix.
This is the best.
1093
01:21:41,272 --> 01:21:43,316
- It is mine.
- Take it off. I'm buying it.
1094
01:21:43,983 --> 01:21:46,736
- Good morning.
- Looks like Macy's basement.
1095
01:21:46,861 --> 01:21:49,781
- It's a rat race around here.
- And I know the rat.
1096
01:21:49,864 --> 01:21:52,700
- This robe is jawohl or nix?
- I'll be right with you.
1097
01:21:52,826 --> 01:21:56,037
Don't bother. I just want
something from the safe.
1098
01:21:57,205 --> 01:22:00,250
- What's the combination?
- 22-5-17.
1099
01:22:01,167 --> 01:22:04,462
Throw that robe in and take the stuff
into the conference room.
1100
01:22:04,587 --> 01:22:09,801
Don't tell the guy in there they're French
cuffs. Not with the Algerian situation.
1101
01:22:09,968 --> 01:22:12,220
- What are you looking for?
- Here they are.
1102
01:22:12,345 --> 01:22:13,972
- The passports.
- Passports?
1103
01:22:14,097 --> 01:22:16,307
I'm flying home and I'm taking the kids.
1104
01:22:16,433 --> 01:22:17,976
- You're what?
- You heard.
1105
01:22:18,101 --> 01:22:21,646
What are you sore about?
I got Otto back. I'm remodelling him.
1106
01:22:21,771 --> 01:22:24,441
Somebody should do a job on you.
Goodbye, Mac.
1107
01:22:24,566 --> 01:22:28,862
- You can't walk out on me like this.
- I'm not. I'm going back where I belong.
1108
01:22:28,987 --> 01:22:31,364
Any time you care to join us,
we'll be waiting.
1109
01:22:31,489 --> 01:22:34,868
- The adoption papers. They are ready.
- Raus!
1110
01:22:34,993 --> 01:22:37,120
What's come over you? After 16 years?
1111
01:22:37,245 --> 01:22:41,749
Maybe after 16 years every marriage
gets stale. Like a leftover glass of beer.
1112
01:22:41,875 --> 01:22:44,878
Can't we discuss this without
bringing up a rival beverage?
1113
01:22:45,003 --> 01:22:47,338
I hope these vaccinations are still good.
1114
01:22:47,464 --> 01:22:49,924
You knew the kind of guy I was
when you married me.
1115
01:22:50,091 --> 01:22:53,011
- Apparently not.
- I'm not one of those suburban jokers.
1116
01:22:53,136 --> 01:22:56,389
Nine to five in the office,
cut the grass every weekend.
1117
01:22:56,514 --> 01:22:58,892
Turns out I married Marco Polo.
1118
01:22:59,017 --> 01:23:02,312
It wasn't all that bad. We've had some fun.
1119
01:23:02,437 --> 01:23:04,522
Remember Teheran
when Cindy was born?
1120
01:23:04,647 --> 01:23:07,901
Driving 12 miles to the hospital
on a Coca-Cola truck?
1121
01:23:08,026 --> 01:23:10,487
Some fun!
And remember when I had Tommy?
1122
01:23:10,612 --> 01:23:14,532
- Right in the Ziirich airport.
- We had a hell of a time leaving Customs.
1123
01:23:14,657 --> 01:23:17,076
How about our honeymoon?
That week in Waikiki.
1124
01:23:17,202 --> 01:23:20,413
Yeah. Me upstairs putting
perfume behind my ears.
1125
01:23:20,538 --> 01:23:23,082
You downstairs at a soft-drink convention.
1126
01:23:23,208 --> 01:23:28,129
400 men running around in grass skirts.
I should have said Aloha then and there.
1127
01:23:28,254 --> 01:23:31,382
Be a good girl and give me those.
Let's talk this over.
1128
01:23:31,508 --> 01:23:34,177
All right, I'm willing.
1129
01:23:36,679 --> 01:23:39,724
But not right now. I've got a deadline.
1130
01:23:39,849 --> 01:23:41,893
You've got a deadline with me.
1131
01:23:41,976 --> 01:23:44,979
Baby, I love you.
Everything is going to be fine.
1132
01:23:45,104 --> 01:23:49,192
In London Tommy can go to Oxford.
Cindy can see the changing of the guard.
1133
01:23:49,317 --> 01:23:53,988
We can afford one of those snooty butlers.
Kippers for breakfast. Riding to hounds.
1134
01:23:55,782 --> 01:24:00,119
I will not be caught dead in striped pants.
They're for bankers and war profiteers.
1135
01:24:00,245 --> 01:24:04,123
They were ordered by the ambassador
from the People's Republic of Yugoslavia.
1136
01:24:04,249 --> 01:24:06,376
We will deal with Tito
when the time comes.
1137
01:24:06,501 --> 01:24:09,337
- Take them off. They're too big.
- In front of the lady?
1138
01:24:09,462 --> 01:24:12,173
Oh, yeah, I forgot. He doesn't wear shorts.
1139
01:24:12,298 --> 01:24:17,345
- No wonder they're winning the Cold War.
- All right, in the other room.
1140
01:24:19,472 --> 01:24:21,516
Don't go away, Phyllis.
1141
01:24:23,560 --> 01:24:25,812
Ingeborg, get him some shorts.
1142
01:24:25,937 --> 01:24:27,981
Sitzen machen.
1143
01:24:31,901 --> 01:24:34,654
- Good morning, Mrs MacNamara.
- Guten Morgen.
1144
01:24:34,779 --> 01:24:37,532
Shorts, let me see. Where are the shorts?
1145
01:24:38,700 --> 01:24:40,994
You could use some yourself.
1146
01:24:41,119 --> 01:24:46,457
- Oh. I don't come in like this every day.
- That's a load off my mind.
1147
01:24:46,583 --> 01:24:49,794
It's just that Mr MacNamara
made me take my dress off.
1148
01:24:49,919 --> 01:24:53,590
- Playful, isn't he?
- He had a perfect right to. He paid for it.
1149
01:24:53,715 --> 01:24:57,844
- Well, that makes all the difference!
- It's part of my job.
1150
01:24:57,969 --> 01:25:01,764
What you call... fringe benefits.
1151
01:25:01,889 --> 01:25:03,850
How do you like that?
1152
01:25:03,975 --> 01:25:06,978
The son of a...
is starting his own Marshall Plan.
1153
01:25:07,061 --> 01:25:08,396
Oh, here.
1154
01:25:08,521 --> 01:25:11,649
- I go now.
- We both go now.
1155
01:25:12,900 --> 01:25:16,154
Will you give my husband a message?
Tell him I said Aloha.
1156
01:25:16,279 --> 01:25:19,657
- Aloha?
- That's Hawaiian for "Get lost".
1157
01:25:22,493 --> 01:25:27,040
- What's holding up those shorts?
- Here. Your wife said to tell you Aloha.
1158
01:25:27,165 --> 01:25:29,792
That's Hawaiian for "Get lost".
1159
01:25:29,917 --> 01:25:30,960
Phyllis!
1160
01:25:31,961 --> 01:25:33,546
Phyllis.
1161
01:25:35,465 --> 01:25:37,091
Phyllis.
1162
01:25:39,260 --> 01:25:43,056
- The dinner. Where do you want it?
- In the conference room.
1163
01:25:43,181 --> 01:25:45,975
- Phyllis.
- My name is Untermeier.
1164
01:25:46,100 --> 01:25:48,811
- I'm from the Tageblatt.
- Some other time.
1165
01:25:48,936 --> 01:25:52,023
We have information
that Miss Hazeltine of Coca-Cola
1166
01:25:52,106 --> 01:25:55,401
married a member
of the Communist Party.
1167
01:25:55,526 --> 01:25:56,861
Sitzen machen.
1168
01:25:57,236 --> 01:26:00,365
I will not wear these.
They serve no useful purpose.
1169
01:26:00,490 --> 01:26:04,118
It's just a convention. Back home
we put panties on lamb chops.
1170
01:26:04,285 --> 01:26:09,332
- They are drip-dry. 5O per cent nylon.
- That's DuPont. A well-known monopoly.
1171
01:26:09,457 --> 01:26:13,378
They're 50 per cent cotton.
It'll help sharecroppers in Mississippi.
1172
01:26:13,503 --> 01:26:19,008
- Sit down. Let's see how you eat.
- Eat? That's the first good idea he's had.
1173
01:26:19,133 --> 01:26:23,137
- I'm starving.
- Not like that. Start with the first course.
1174
01:26:23,304 --> 01:26:25,306
We have to teach him table manners.
1175
01:26:25,431 --> 01:26:29,644
No, no, one at a time.
And use the asparagus tongs, darling.
1176
01:26:29,769 --> 01:26:33,773
- The what?
- Those little grabbers over there.
1177
01:26:35,441 --> 01:26:37,527
- Why can't I have my chicken?
- Luggage.
1178
01:26:37,652 --> 01:26:40,238
OK, take those over to the Hilton.
1179
01:26:40,363 --> 01:26:43,700
- You want initials on the bags?
- He doesn't even have a name yet.
1180
01:26:43,825 --> 01:26:45,326
No, no, no, no.
1181
01:26:45,451 --> 01:26:49,539
He's right, darling.
Always white wine with chicken.
1182
01:26:49,664 --> 01:26:52,166
Out of a glass, stupid.
1183
01:26:52,333 --> 01:26:56,129
Ja, you know everything. Which wine
to drink, which fork to use for fish.
1184
01:26:56,254 --> 01:26:59,132
Which knife to stab
the proletariat in the back with.
1185
01:26:59,257 --> 01:27:01,509
How would you like a little fruit?
1186
01:27:01,634 --> 01:27:03,720
The count is waiting in the office.
1187
01:27:03,845 --> 01:27:07,265
- Scarlett, keep working on him.
- Darling, use the finger bowl.
1188
01:27:07,390 --> 01:27:10,435
- Don't pack his old clothes.
- What shall we do with them?
1189
01:27:10,560 --> 01:27:13,104
- Burn them, but first disinfect them.
- Wait.
1190
01:27:13,187 --> 01:27:17,859
My Party membership book is in there.
I'm paid up till December.
1191
01:27:30,455 --> 01:27:33,166
Sitzen machen. Hello, there.
1192
01:27:33,291 --> 01:27:38,463
- Waldemar von Droste-Schattenburg.
- MacNamara von Omaha, Nebraska.
1193
01:27:38,588 --> 01:27:40,673
Would you tell me why I was summoned?
1194
01:27:40,798 --> 01:27:44,677
Every minute I am away from my post
it costs me two Marks in tips.
1195
01:27:44,802 --> 01:27:47,430
OK. How would you
like to become a father?
1196
01:27:47,555 --> 01:27:50,391
- At my age?
- I'd like you to adopt a young man.
1197
01:27:50,516 --> 01:27:53,186
And the tip is 2,000 Marks.
1198
01:27:53,686 --> 01:27:55,772
- Good day, sir.
- Hold on.
1199
01:27:55,897 --> 01:27:58,983
Just because I'm reduced to
earning my living in a washroom
1200
01:27:59,108 --> 01:28:03,488
does not mean that I am willing to
peddle the dignity of my family name.
1201
01:28:03,613 --> 01:28:06,240
We date back to the Second Crusade.
1202
01:28:06,407 --> 01:28:10,203
We have one of the oldest bloodlines
in Europe and one of the most inbred.
1203
01:28:10,328 --> 01:28:13,247
I am a direct descendant
of Philip the Bleeder.
1204
01:28:13,414 --> 01:28:18,252
So your proposition is not only
preposterous, it is highly insulting.
1205
01:28:18,419 --> 01:28:20,546
- Make it 10,000.
- I'll give you 3,000.
1206
01:28:20,671 --> 01:28:23,090
I come from a long line of bleeders.
1207
01:28:23,216 --> 01:28:25,009
- Don't cut the price.
- 4,000.
1208
01:28:25,134 --> 01:28:29,597
I will have you know that I'm distantly
related to ex-King Farouk of Egypt.
1209
01:28:29,722 --> 01:28:31,891
- 3,500.
- What happened to 4,000?
1210
01:28:32,016 --> 01:28:33,601
It's a deal.
1211
01:28:33,726 --> 01:28:35,269
Send Piffl in.
1212
01:28:35,394 --> 01:28:39,774
For an additional 500 Marks
I will include the family crest.
1213
01:28:39,899 --> 01:28:41,943
Cakes of soap in a field of paper towels?
1214
01:28:42,068 --> 01:28:44,987
A porcupine, rampant on
a field of fleur-de-lys.
1215
01:28:45,112 --> 01:28:48,366
You may also have a photograph
of the Schattenburg Castle.
1216
01:28:48,491 --> 01:28:50,743
Unfortunately destroyed during the war.
1217
01:28:50,868 --> 01:28:54,580
- American Air Force?
- No, Turkish cavalry. 1683.
1218
01:28:55,122 --> 01:28:58,376
You can't just order me around.
Sit there, do this, eat that.
1219
01:28:58,501 --> 01:29:00,670
Hold still. I can't get your cuff link in.
1220
01:29:00,795 --> 01:29:03,798
- Is this the lucky young man?
- That's him.
1221
01:29:03,923 --> 01:29:05,591
- Meet your father.
- My father?
1222
01:29:05,716 --> 01:29:09,095
My dear boy. I'm sure you will be
a credit to the family.
1223
01:29:09,220 --> 01:29:11,180
It could use a little credit.
1224
01:29:11,305 --> 01:29:13,307
- What is this?
- You're being adopted.
1225
01:29:13,474 --> 01:29:16,519
Adopted? Just like that,
without even asking me?
1226
01:29:16,644 --> 01:29:19,605
This is not only devious, it's unilateral.
1227
01:29:19,730 --> 01:29:22,441
- My eye.
- This is your daughter-in-law.
1228
01:29:22,567 --> 01:29:24,735
- Gnédige Frau.
- Scarlett!
1229
01:29:24,861 --> 01:29:28,656
- I've got something in my eye.
- It's a monocle. Looks cute on you.
1230
01:29:28,781 --> 01:29:31,576
A monocle. How sneaky can you get?
1231
01:29:31,701 --> 01:29:34,161
Sign the papers
and give this to the cashier.
1232
01:29:34,287 --> 01:29:35,788
Thank you.
1233
01:29:35,913 --> 01:29:39,041
- What do you think you're doing?
- It's on the house.
1234
01:29:39,166 --> 01:29:41,210
Goodbye, my son.
1235
01:29:42,962 --> 01:29:45,214
I want you kids to memorise
your new name.
1236
01:29:45,339 --> 01:29:48,509
You are the Count and Countess
von Droste-Schattenburg.
1237
01:29:48,634 --> 01:29:51,721
- Count?
- So everyone has to curtsy to me.
1238
01:29:51,846 --> 01:29:54,891
- Except maybe Grace Kelly.
- Nobody will curtsy to you.
1239
01:29:55,016 --> 01:29:59,645
I refuse to join the aristocracy.
They're all leeches, bleeding the masses.
1240
01:29:59,770 --> 01:30:02,815
Not the von Droste-Schattenburgs.
They bleed themselves.
1241
01:30:02,940 --> 01:30:07,278
Get him dressed. And now he has a name,
there are some things I want him to sign.
1242
01:30:07,361 --> 01:30:10,698
- What things?
- I'm turning over my limousine to you.
1243
01:30:10,823 --> 01:30:14,952
- All I want is my motorcycle back.
- Can't have a countess in a sidecar.
1244
01:30:15,077 --> 01:30:18,164
- Where would we put the baby?
- And have him fill out these.
1245
01:30:18,289 --> 01:30:21,167
Golf club, Diners Club,
Book-of-the-Month Club...
1246
01:30:21,292 --> 01:30:25,504
- I will sign nothing, I will join nothing.
- But it's the American way of life.
1247
01:30:25,630 --> 01:30:31,135
Unemployment, discrimination,
gangsterism, juvenile delinquency...
1248
01:30:31,260 --> 01:30:34,931
But under our new 20-year plan
we will catch up with you.
1249
01:30:35,056 --> 01:30:36,766
Lots of luck.
1250
01:30:36,891 --> 01:30:42,188
Ingeborg, get the manager of the bottling
plant up here and find me a sign painter.
1251
01:30:43,147 --> 01:30:44,982
What MPs?
1252
01:30:52,365 --> 01:30:54,408
- What can I do for you?
- You the head man?
1253
01:30:54,575 --> 01:30:56,535
- That's me.
- We had a report.
1254
01:30:56,661 --> 01:30:59,080
You got a female employee
who's an enemy agent.
1255
01:30:59,205 --> 01:31:00,498
Enemy agent?
1256
01:31:00,623 --> 01:31:04,126
What would you call a dame with
"Yankee go home" tattooed on her chest?
1257
01:31:04,251 --> 01:31:06,921
- Somebody's pulling your leg.
- Maybe, maybe not.
1258
01:31:07,046 --> 01:31:09,256
- Mind if we look around?
- Be my guest.
1259
01:31:09,382 --> 01:31:11,592
Oh. OK, buster.
1260
01:31:11,717 --> 01:31:13,594
Let's go.
1261
01:31:15,972 --> 01:31:17,264
You sent for me?
1262
01:31:17,390 --> 01:31:20,267
As manager of the bottling plant
you always need more help.
1263
01:31:20,393 --> 01:31:23,312
- Yes, sir.
- Cheer up. You're getting an assistant.
1264
01:31:23,437 --> 01:31:25,064
- Who?
- You.
1265
01:31:25,189 --> 01:31:28,067
The new manager
is Otto von Droste-Schattenburg.
1266
01:31:28,192 --> 01:31:31,153
- I refuse.
- Your pay will be higher.
1267
01:31:31,278 --> 01:31:33,197
- I accept.
- Into the conference room.
1268
01:31:33,322 --> 01:31:36,534
You've got 15 minutes to teach
this guy everything you know.
1269
01:31:36,659 --> 01:31:38,661
- I can't thank you enough.
- Out.
1270
01:31:38,786 --> 01:31:41,455
Bertha, let me talk to Mrs MacNamara.
1271
01:31:41,580 --> 01:31:45,167
She left? Mit die Kinder?
Where did they go?
1272
01:31:45,292 --> 01:31:47,837
Into a taxi. Thanks a lot!
1273
01:31:48,629 --> 01:31:52,591
I don't want to take up your time,
so if you let me talk to Miss Hazeltine...
1274
01:31:52,717 --> 01:31:55,678
- About what?
- About her marriage to that communist.
1275
01:31:55,803 --> 01:31:59,557
- I'd like a statement for the story.
- There is no story and no communist.
1276
01:31:59,682 --> 01:32:03,310
- We know she got married.
- To Count Otto von Droste-Schattenburg.
1277
01:32:03,436 --> 01:32:05,146
- Who?
- Otto the Bleeder.
1278
01:32:05,271 --> 01:32:09,567
Goes back to the Second Crusade.
Here's the family castle.
1279
01:32:09,692 --> 01:32:13,946
- Painter.
- Oh. Uh, come with me.
1280
01:32:17,575 --> 01:32:18,617
Sitzen machen.
1281
01:32:18,701 --> 01:32:21,162
Paint this crest on a car.
How long will it take?
1282
01:32:21,287 --> 01:32:25,583
That's too long.
Look, my Mercedes is parked downstairs.
1283
01:32:26,500 --> 01:32:28,461
- Excuse me.
- Miss Hazeltine.
1284
01:32:28,586 --> 01:32:32,840
- How do you spell your husband's name?
- P-I-F-F-L.
1285
01:32:32,965 --> 01:32:35,342
I thought it was von Droste-Schattenburg.
1286
01:32:35,468 --> 01:32:38,888
Oh, that! You mustn't believe
everything Mr MacNamara tells you.
1287
01:32:39,013 --> 01:32:42,933
He fixed it all up so that Daddy
wouldn't find out Otto's a Red.
1288
01:32:43,059 --> 01:32:46,520
In the beginning I didn't like
Mr MacNamara, but he's been marvy.
1289
01:32:46,687 --> 01:32:49,190
- That's enough.
- Did I say something wrong?
1290
01:32:49,315 --> 01:32:50,733
Buzz off.
1291
01:32:50,858 --> 01:32:53,486
This story is getting better and better.
1292
01:32:53,611 --> 01:32:57,323
- How much to forget everything?
- Think you can buy a German reporter?
1293
01:32:57,448 --> 01:33:01,827
- I never tried before.
- Maybe your journalists are for sale.
1294
01:33:01,952 --> 01:33:05,873
The adoption papers.
All signed and notarised.
1295
01:33:05,998 --> 01:33:07,792
Herr Oberleutnant.
1296
01:33:07,917 --> 01:33:10,252
- You know each other?
- He was my commander.
1297
01:33:10,377 --> 01:33:12,546
- In the subway?
- No, when I was drafted.
1298
01:33:12,671 --> 01:33:14,840
- Aha, Gestapo.
- No, no. SS.
1299
01:33:14,965 --> 01:33:16,967
Halten Sie doch den Mund, Sie Idiot.
1300
01:33:17,093 --> 01:33:21,055
Well, Herr Oberleutnant,
is there anything else I can do for you?
1301
01:33:22,223 --> 01:33:24,558
No, thank you. I have all the facts.
1302
01:33:24,725 --> 01:33:28,687
Union between the Hazeltines
and the von Droste-Schattenburgs -
1303
01:33:28,813 --> 01:33:30,648
the social event of the year.
1304
01:33:30,773 --> 01:33:32,817
- It will be in today's paper.
- It better.
1305
01:33:32,942 --> 01:33:35,111
- Auf Wiedersehen.
- Sieg Heil.
1306
01:33:35,236 --> 01:33:38,405
As for you, you're back in the SS.
Smaller Salary.
1307
01:33:38,531 --> 01:33:42,451
Let me explain. I was only
a pastry cook in the officers' mess.
1308
01:33:42,576 --> 01:33:44,578
I want the maitre d' at the Hilton.
1309
01:33:44,703 --> 01:33:46,914
I was a very bad pastry cook.
1310
01:33:48,833 --> 01:33:51,710
11 o'clock. Where are the hats?
Where are the flowers?
1311
01:33:51,836 --> 01:33:53,963
- We're behind schedule.
- Yes, sir.
1312
01:33:54,088 --> 01:33:56,298
Manfred, I'd like to arrange a banquet.
1313
01:33:56,423 --> 01:34:00,928
The von Droste-Schattenburgs
honouring the Wendell P Hazeltines.
1314
01:34:01,971 --> 01:34:04,014
You got a polka-dot dress?
1315
01:34:04,140 --> 01:34:08,978
Fréulein, haben Sie eine tattoo
on your... Glockenspiel?
1316
01:34:27,955 --> 01:34:31,458
- Any broads working in this office?
- No, sir. Just me.
1317
01:34:31,584 --> 01:34:34,336
Look, polka dots. It fits the description.
1318
01:34:34,461 --> 01:34:36,714
- Whose dress is that?
- I don't know.
1319
01:34:36,839 --> 01:34:38,966
We'd better check it out.
1320
01:34:41,635 --> 01:34:46,765
Corporal, I'm relieving myself of duty.
Turn me in for psychiatric observation.
1321
01:34:46,891 --> 01:34:49,518
- What's the matter?
- She's in there all right.
1322
01:34:49,643 --> 01:34:51,729
I saw her. Naked as a jaybird.
1323
01:34:51,854 --> 01:34:53,856
Has she got the tattoo on her chest?
1324
01:34:53,981 --> 01:34:57,902
- So what's wrong, Sarge?
- Fellas, you won't believe this.
1325
01:34:58,027 --> 01:35:01,488
But one of them is yellow.
One of them is green.
1326
01:35:01,614 --> 01:35:03,657
Take me away.
1327
01:35:10,247 --> 01:35:13,167
For the entrée: Venison and hominy grits.
1328
01:35:13,292 --> 01:35:15,836
How do I know where you get grits?
Try the army PX.
1329
01:35:15,961 --> 01:35:18,422
For dessert: Peaches
flambées é Ia Hazeltine.
1330
01:35:18,547 --> 01:35:21,425
Wine: King-size Coca-Cola in ice buckets.
1331
01:35:21,550 --> 01:35:26,263
On the table: The von Droste-Schattenburg
coat of arms with crossed flags.
1332
01:35:26,388 --> 01:35:29,099
Music: "Dixie",
"Waiting For The Robert E Lee".
1333
01:35:29,225 --> 01:35:32,269
But not, I repeat not,
"Marching Through Georgia".
1334
01:35:32,394 --> 01:35:34,772
Do you really want to make me the boss?
1335
01:35:34,897 --> 01:35:38,943
It's a must. So your father-in-law
won't think you're just a titled beatnik.
1336
01:35:39,068 --> 01:35:41,904
- I'm going to like this job.
- About time you cooperated.
1337
01:35:42,029 --> 01:35:44,073
Know what the first thing is I'll do?
1338
01:35:44,198 --> 01:35:49,787
- I'm going to lead the workers in revolt!
- Put your pants on, Spartacus.
1339
01:35:51,705 --> 01:35:55,834
Call the airport and find out if the
12 o'clock plane from London is on time.
1340
01:35:55,960 --> 01:35:58,003
Yes, Mr MacNamara.
1341
01:36:01,090 --> 01:36:04,426
Tempelhof?
Pan American Auskunft, bitte.
1342
01:36:07,221 --> 01:36:09,932
Soft-drinks slaves of the world, arise.
1343
01:36:10,057 --> 01:36:13,269
Smash those bottles,
pour that syrup down the sewers.
1344
01:36:13,394 --> 01:36:16,939
- Remember me?
- Commissar Peripetchikoff. Well, well.
1345
01:36:17,064 --> 01:36:20,401
- Well is the one thing I am not.
- You are a Russian commissar?
1346
01:36:20,526 --> 01:36:23,821
- You have made fool of me.
- He fooled me too.
1347
01:36:23,946 --> 01:36:27,283
You must help me and my wife
get into the Soviet Zone.
1348
01:36:27,408 --> 01:36:31,829
- There may be a little problem.
- Yeah, everybody's coming this way.
1349
01:36:31,954 --> 01:36:33,914
You want to fight all that traffic?
1350
01:36:34,039 --> 01:36:36,625
I'm a Party member.
Paid up till December.
1351
01:36:36,750 --> 01:36:38,877
They need me. I'm a missile scientist.
1352
01:36:39,003 --> 01:36:41,630
That is one field
where we're ahead of America.
1353
01:36:41,755 --> 01:36:46,844
In Cape Canaveral if missile goes wrong,
they press button and pow! It blows up.
1354
01:36:46,969 --> 01:36:49,722
- But in Russia we have two buttons.
- Two buttons!
1355
01:36:49,847 --> 01:36:52,683
One to blow up missile,
one to blow up scientist.
1356
01:36:52,766 --> 01:36:56,145
- What kind of a commissar are you?
- An ex-commissar.
1357
01:36:56,270 --> 01:36:58,647
- You've defected?
- Is old Russian proverb.
1358
01:36:58,772 --> 01:37:02,276
- "Go West, young man."
- What happened to your pals?
1359
01:37:02,401 --> 01:37:07,281
I snitched Borodenko's secret police
badge and had them both arrested.
1360
01:37:07,406 --> 01:37:09,325
You betrayed your own comrades?
1361
01:37:09,450 --> 01:37:12,077
If I don't do it to them, they do it to me.
1362
01:37:12,202 --> 01:37:15,414
- Is old Russian proverb.
- You're worse than he is.
1363
01:37:15,539 --> 01:37:20,711
Look, my young friend, what do you
think Khrushchev did to Malenkov?
1364
01:37:20,794 --> 01:37:22,921
What do you think Stalin did to Trotsky?
1365
01:37:23,047 --> 01:37:26,342
- Is everybody in this world corrupt?
- I don't know everybody.
1366
01:37:26,467 --> 01:37:30,346
Maybe we should liquidate
the human race and start all over again.
1367
01:37:30,471 --> 01:37:34,475
Look, kid, any world
that can produce the Taj Mahal,
1368
01:37:34,600 --> 01:37:38,812
William Shakespeare and
striped toothpaste can't be all bad.
1369
01:37:40,105 --> 01:37:42,649
- The trousers. Try them on.
- Take him with you.
1370
01:37:42,775 --> 01:37:47,613
From now on I fight alone.
Piffl against everybody and everything!
1371
01:37:47,738 --> 01:37:50,908
See what I'm up against?
He can't even remember his own name.
1372
01:37:51,033 --> 01:37:53,369
- To get back to me...
- Do you want money?
1373
01:37:53,494 --> 01:37:57,164
Certainly not. I will be rich man now.
Remember the Swiss cheese?
1374
01:37:57,289 --> 01:37:59,625
- What about it?
- I have tremendous scheme.
1375
01:37:59,750 --> 01:38:01,668
I will trade it for sauerkraut.
1376
01:38:01,794 --> 01:38:06,465
I will silver-plate the sauerkraut and sell it
in the US for Christmas-tree decorations.
1377
01:38:06,590 --> 01:38:09,134
- You're a cinch.
- But for this I need secretary.
1378
01:38:09,259 --> 01:38:12,596
- And you promised me blonde lady.
- You came at the right time.
1379
01:38:12,721 --> 01:38:17,351
I'm moving to London anyway. But I don't
know how to break the news to her.
1380
01:38:18,102 --> 01:38:19,269
Ingeborg.
1381
01:38:19,395 --> 01:38:22,856
It's not going to be easy.
She's crazy about me.
1382
01:38:23,023 --> 01:38:26,193
- Yes?
- A classified ad to run in all papers.
1383
01:38:26,318 --> 01:38:31,365
International businessman, overweight
but cute, needs executive secretary.
1384
01:38:31,490 --> 01:38:37,413
Fringe benefits include extensive travel,
wardrobe allowance, retirement plan...
1385
01:38:37,538 --> 01:38:39,289
- I'll take the job.
- You got it.
1386
01:38:39,415 --> 01:38:41,542
Goodbye, good luck.
1387
01:38:41,667 --> 01:38:45,462
- And what about Tempelhof?
- Oh. The plane will be ten minutes early.
1388
01:38:45,587 --> 01:38:50,384
That's a hell of a way to run an airline.
Planes are supposed to be late, not early.
1389
01:38:50,509 --> 01:38:51,552
1390
01:38:53,470 --> 01:38:58,225
I never want to see him again.
I never want to speak to him.
1391
01:38:58,350 --> 01:39:01,270
- I want a divorce.
- What's the matter now?
1392
01:39:01,395 --> 01:39:06,108
He doesn't want the baby. He says no one
should bring children into such a world.
1393
01:39:06,233 --> 01:39:10,779
That miserable punk.
Why didn't he think of that before?
1394
01:39:10,904 --> 01:39:12,614
Where is he?
1395
01:39:12,739 --> 01:39:16,618
I'm sorry. I didn't mean it.
Of course we're going to have the baby.
1396
01:39:16,743 --> 01:39:18,454
I love you.
1397
01:39:18,579 --> 01:39:21,707
Don't ever scare me like that again.
1398
01:39:21,832 --> 01:39:25,085
Maybe our children can make this
a better place to live in.
1399
01:39:25,210 --> 01:39:30,215
A world where men are created equal
and there's liberty and justice for all.
1400
01:39:30,340 --> 01:39:31,550
Congratulations.
1401
01:39:31,675 --> 01:39:36,096
You just quoted Jefferson, Lincoln
and the Pledge of Allegiance to the flag.
1402
01:39:36,221 --> 01:39:37,681
I What?
1403
01:39:40,642 --> 01:39:42,769
Come on, let's get going.
1404
01:39:47,107 --> 01:39:48,358
There.
1405
01:39:49,443 --> 01:39:53,530
- I take it into the other room and fix it.
- We haven't time. Come with us.
1406
01:39:54,573 --> 01:39:55,866
Schlemmer!
1407
01:39:55,949 --> 01:39:57,826
Sitzen machen.
1408
01:40:00,662 --> 01:40:05,209
- Blumen.
- Here. This is for your mother-in-law.
1409
01:40:16,637 --> 01:40:19,973
Die HUte!
1410
01:40:23,268 --> 01:40:26,772
You in front. You, paint from the inside.
1411
01:40:27,689 --> 01:40:30,567
Fritz, to the airport. Eins, zwei, drei.
1412
01:40:37,574 --> 01:40:38,825
Aiyee!
1413
01:40:38,992 --> 01:40:40,827
Watch that umbrella.
1414
01:40:40,953 --> 01:40:44,331
- No, I don't like it.
- You need some stuff in your pockets.
1415
01:40:44,456 --> 01:40:46,500
Money, cigarette case,
1416
01:40:47,584 --> 01:40:50,003
lighter, picture of the castle.
1417
01:40:50,128 --> 01:40:54,258
- Try this one, darling.
- You better take my wristwatch too.
1418
01:40:56,176 --> 01:40:58,470
- That's my wrist.
- Oh.
1419
01:40:58,595 --> 01:41:01,223
I don't think you were
meant to wear a hat.
1420
01:41:01,348 --> 01:41:04,017
I wasn't meant to be a count either.
1421
01:41:04,142 --> 01:41:06,562
- Who's going to believe it?
- Calm down.
1422
01:41:06,687 --> 01:41:11,441
The only royalty we know in America
is Nat King Cole and Earl Wilson.
1423
01:41:24,413 --> 01:41:26,164
- Ouch!
- Pardon.
1424
01:41:29,876 --> 01:41:31,920
Please, not that. Anything but that.
1425
01:41:32,045 --> 01:41:34,881
All right. Let's see
if we have a black bowler.
1426
01:41:35,007 --> 01:41:36,717
- Here's what you owe me.
- Owe you?
1427
01:41:36,842 --> 01:41:41,138
All itemised. Limousine: 20,000 Marks.
Cost of adoption: 4,500 Marks.
1428
01:41:41,263 --> 01:41:44,600
Suits, haberdashery,
shoes, etc, etc: 12,800 Marks.
1429
01:41:44,725 --> 01:41:47,185
Luggage, flowers, dinner: 925 Marks.
1430
01:41:47,311 --> 01:41:51,857
Haircut and manicure: 14 Marks.
Tip: 6 Marks. I'm a very large tipper.
1431
01:41:51,982 --> 01:41:54,776
Wristwatch, cigarette case,
lighter: 2,200 Marks.
1432
01:41:54,901 --> 01:42:00,782
Loose change: 475 Marks.
Total: 41,020 Marks or $10,255.
1433
01:42:00,907 --> 01:42:04,494
I have been a capitalist for three hours
and already I owe $10,000?
1434
01:42:04,620 --> 01:42:07,497
That's our system.
Everybody owes everybody.
1435
01:42:07,623 --> 01:42:09,583
That's the one.
1436
01:42:09,708 --> 01:42:12,294
Doesn't it look distinguished?
1437
01:42:12,419 --> 01:42:14,087
Not bad.
1438
01:42:14,546 --> 01:42:16,548
11.46. Faster, Fritz.
1439
01:42:21,261 --> 01:42:25,432
Before you meet Daddy, there are
certain things he feels strongly about.
1440
01:42:25,557 --> 01:42:27,601
- One is the Civil War.
- Civil War?
1441
01:42:27,726 --> 01:42:30,520
- Just say it was a draw.
- Another's Coca-Cola.
1442
01:42:30,646 --> 01:42:33,690
Say we must look beyond the six-pack.
Why not a 12-pack?
1443
01:42:33,815 --> 01:42:37,069
- Then there's golf.
- Family that play together stay together.
1444
01:42:37,194 --> 01:42:39,780
- The world situation.
- Serious, but not hopeless.
1445
01:42:39,905 --> 01:42:42,115
- Vivisection.
- Shouldn't happen to a dog.
1446
01:42:42,240 --> 01:42:45,118
And Red China and income taxes
and Tennessee Williams.
1447
01:42:45,243 --> 01:42:48,622
Wait. Stop the car.
I can't remember all that.
1448
01:42:48,747 --> 01:42:51,458
- You can't give up now.
- Maybe we'll get lucky.
1449
01:42:51,583 --> 01:42:54,670
Maybe somebody hijacked the plane.
1450
01:43:02,844 --> 01:43:07,766
Pan American gibt die Ankunft
des Clippers 306 aus London bekannt.
1451
01:43:07,891 --> 01:43:10,644
Melanie, let me handle this young man.
1452
01:43:10,769 --> 01:43:14,856
It'll take me 30 seconds to find out
if he's a fortune-hunter or a crackpot.
1453
01:43:14,981 --> 01:43:17,901
- Oh, dear, I hope not.
- You don't know these Europeans.
1454
01:43:18,026 --> 01:43:20,612
My poor honey-chile.
1455
01:43:20,737 --> 01:43:22,656
Where are they, anyway?
1456
01:43:39,005 --> 01:43:41,758
Tear them again and I'll tear you apart.
1457
01:43:47,514 --> 01:43:49,558
- Scarlett!
- Scarlett!
1458
01:43:50,475 --> 01:43:52,352
Scarlett!
1459
01:43:52,936 --> 01:43:54,521
Scarlett!
1460
01:43:56,982 --> 01:43:59,317
- Mother!
- Let me look at you.
1461
01:43:59,443 --> 01:44:00,485
Dad!
1462
01:44:01,528 --> 01:44:04,990
- All right. Now where is he?
- Over here.
1463
01:44:08,118 --> 01:44:11,288
- Meet my husband Otto.
- The Count von Droste-Schattenburg.
1464
01:44:11,413 --> 01:44:13,206
- Count von what?
- My mother.
1465
01:44:13,373 --> 01:44:15,292
Your Highness.
1466
01:44:15,417 --> 01:44:18,336
Please, not in immediate family.
Gnédige Frau.
1467
01:44:18,462 --> 01:44:20,338
One of those hand-kissers.
1468
01:44:20,464 --> 01:44:22,591
- And this is my father.
- Hello, Dad.
1469
01:44:22,716 --> 01:44:24,968
How's your golf? A family that plays...
1470
01:44:25,093 --> 01:44:27,721
There are a few questions
I want to ask you.
1471
01:44:27,846 --> 01:44:31,683
- If it's a boy, we'll name him after you.
- Wendell P von Droste-Schattenburg.
1472
01:44:31,808 --> 01:44:34,936
- Von Droste what?
- We'll have to be careful with the baby.
1473
01:44:35,061 --> 01:44:37,147
Otto comes from a long line of bleeders.
1474
01:44:37,272 --> 01:44:41,610
I always wanted Scarlett to be
married to a long line of somethings.
1475
01:44:41,735 --> 01:44:43,862
MacNamara, tell me about this man.
1476
01:44:43,987 --> 01:44:46,656
What does he do besides
slobber over women's hands?
1477
01:44:46,782 --> 01:44:48,784
Don't let that title fool you. He works.
1478
01:44:48,909 --> 01:44:51,912
- Doing what?
- He's head of our bottling plant.
1479
01:44:52,037 --> 01:44:54,915
- He works for us?
- Best man I ever had. Engineer.
1480
01:44:55,040 --> 01:44:57,501
Took a lot to get him away
from our competitors.
1481
01:44:57,626 --> 01:44:59,795
You don't say.
1482
01:44:59,920 --> 01:45:02,672
- This is a picture of the family castle.
- Oh!
1483
01:45:02,798 --> 01:45:05,842
And this is my Party membership.
Oops - wrong Party.
1484
01:45:05,967 --> 01:45:08,553
- And here's the family crest.
- Oh!
1485
01:45:08,678 --> 01:45:13,183
You'll have to put that on your stationery
and your silverware and your underwear...
1486
01:45:13,308 --> 01:45:17,145
Glad to have you on the team.
I suppose you met in the bottling plant.
1487
01:45:17,270 --> 01:45:20,065
No, we met in a parade.
He had a picture of Khrushchev.
1488
01:45:20,190 --> 01:45:22,692
- Khrushchev?
- Yes, with a big slogan on it.
1489
01:45:22,818 --> 01:45:24,903
- "Russki, go home."
- They jailed him.
1490
01:45:25,028 --> 01:45:27,531
- My poor boy.
- How is the situation here?
1491
01:45:27,656 --> 01:45:29,699
It shouldn't happen to a dog.
1492
01:45:29,825 --> 01:45:31,743
I mean, it's a draw.
1493
01:45:31,868 --> 01:45:35,622
Actually the situation
is hopeless, but not serious.
1494
01:45:35,747 --> 01:45:37,541
Hopeless but not...
1495
01:45:37,666 --> 01:45:39,960
The boy's got a head on his shoulders.
1496
01:45:40,085 --> 01:45:42,629
- What did I tell you?
- May I have those?
1497
01:45:42,754 --> 01:45:45,298
- Fritz. Mit the luggage machen.
- Jawohl.
1498
01:45:45,465 --> 01:45:47,008
Next. Schlemmer!
1499
01:45:47,133 --> 01:45:49,803
- Take these to passport control.
- Yes, sir.
1500
01:45:49,928 --> 01:45:52,764
Next. Mom, Dad,
I'm giving a banquet tonight.
1501
01:45:52,889 --> 01:45:56,393
- Un petit diner en famille.
- He speaks French too!
1502
01:45:56,518 --> 01:45:57,769
- And Russian.
- Russian?!
1503
01:45:57,894 --> 01:45:59,396
White Russian.
1504
01:45:59,521 --> 01:46:02,566
Now, Dad, there are a few ideas
I'd like to kick around.
1505
01:46:02,691 --> 01:46:06,987
We must look beyond the six-pack.
Why not a 12-pack?
1506
01:46:07,112 --> 01:46:13,285
Pan American flight 17 to New
York via Frankfurt now boarding at gate 5.
1507
01:46:13,410 --> 01:46:16,162
Pan American gibt den Abflug
des Clippers 17
1508
01:46:16,288 --> 01:46:18,915
nach New York fiber Frankfurt bekannt.
1509
01:46:19,040 --> 01:46:22,794
Bitte halten Sie Ihre Bordkarten bereit
und begeben Sie sich zu...
1510
01:46:22,919 --> 01:46:25,797
- Phyllis!
- Mac, you came through 100 per cent.
1511
01:46:25,922 --> 01:46:29,050
- I did what I could.
- I've found the right man for London.
1512
01:46:29,175 --> 01:46:31,136
- Thanks.
- It's just what we need.
1513
01:46:31,261 --> 01:46:35,307
Somebody who's a good organiser,
has a lot of drive, speaks languages.
1514
01:46:35,432 --> 01:46:39,436
- Well, I studied every chance I had.
- The ideal man for this position.
1515
01:46:39,561 --> 01:46:42,939
And I'm not just saying that
because he's my son-in-law.
1516
01:46:43,064 --> 01:46:45,358
- How's that?
- It won't hurt our prestige.
1517
01:46:45,525 --> 01:46:49,321
Head of European operations -
Count Otto von Droste-Schattenburg.
1518
01:46:49,446 --> 01:46:52,198
- Oh, that's how it is.
- You haven't been forgotten.
1519
01:46:52,324 --> 01:46:54,200
You're going all the way to the top.
1520
01:46:54,326 --> 01:46:58,914
There's an opening in the home office.
Vice-president for procurement. All yours.
1521
01:46:59,039 --> 01:47:02,375
- Why are you so good to me?
- You must be dying to get back.
1522
01:47:02,500 --> 01:47:06,755
Dying is right. Here you are, Count.
I won't be needing this any more.
1523
01:47:06,880 --> 01:47:08,798
- Thanks, old chap.
- Bye, Countess.
1524
01:47:08,924 --> 01:47:12,177
Mr MacNamara, I simply adore you.
1525
01:47:13,094 --> 01:47:15,055
- Will you write?
- Better than that.
1526
01:47:15,180 --> 01:47:19,392
I'll send you some silver-plated
sauerkraut for Christmas.
1527
01:47:25,482 --> 01:47:28,610
- Can we have a Coke?
- On the plane. I don't have any change.
1528
01:47:28,735 --> 01:47:30,862
- I've got change.
- Mac!
1529
01:47:30,987 --> 01:47:34,282
Very nice of you to come
down here to see me off.
1530
01:47:35,450 --> 01:47:37,619
- Where are you going?
- Back to the States.
1531
01:47:37,744 --> 01:47:41,706
- Funny. That's where we're going.
- I thought I'd take flight 17 to New York.
1532
01:47:41,831 --> 01:47:44,542
- From there I can hop a bus to Atlanta.
- Atlanta?!
1533
01:47:44,668 --> 01:47:47,671
Yeah. I'm the new
vice president for bottle caps.
1534
01:47:47,796 --> 01:47:51,675
- They're kicking me upstairs.
- I've always wanted to do that myself.
1535
01:47:51,800 --> 01:47:55,261
So any time you and the kids
care to join me, I'll be waiting.
1536
01:47:55,387 --> 01:47:57,722
Just a minute. Conference.
1537
01:48:00,350 --> 01:48:02,435
Two out of three. Deal is on.
1538
01:48:02,560 --> 01:48:05,730
Two out of three?!
All right, who's the wise guy?
1539
01:48:15,740 --> 01:48:17,784
Schlemmer!
1540
01:48:23,206 --> 01:48:25,250
Visiontext Subtitles: Paul Sofer
137415
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