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1
00:00:02,523 --> 00:00:07,228
Do you want to marry me? I'm
applying for a job. What for?!
2
00:00:07,230 --> 00:00:09,943
What if he gets someone difficult?!
3
00:00:09,945 --> 00:00:12,032
If you wanted to come
for dinner, I could cook.
4
00:00:12,034 --> 00:00:14,683
Are you seeing anyone?
Tell me about Lawrence.
5
00:00:14,685 --> 00:00:16,723
They do a YouTube channel.
6
00:00:16,725 --> 00:00:18,123
I've got woodworm.
7
00:00:18,125 --> 00:00:21,283
Needs doing sharpish.
Do you have that sort of money?
8
00:00:21,285 --> 00:00:23,403
We might have to put the
kitchen on hold.
9
00:00:23,405 --> 00:00:27,003
This is you all over, Gillian.
We'll find another way.
10
00:00:27,005 --> 00:00:28,803
PHONE RINGS
It's Ted.
11
00:00:28,805 --> 00:00:31,765
He's coming over.
The plot thickens.
12
00:01:19,125 --> 00:01:20,765
Ta-ra. Night.
13
00:01:34,125 --> 00:01:36,483
All right, look, I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have said...
14
00:01:36,485 --> 00:01:38,443
Let's...
15
00:01:38,445 --> 00:01:40,485
SHE SIGHS
16
00:01:42,525 --> 00:01:46,003
I shouldn't have said anything,
not on people's birthdays,
17
00:01:46,005 --> 00:01:49,203
I should've waited till we got
home. No.
18
00:01:49,205 --> 00:01:52,643
I should've spoken to you
about it before we set off,
19
00:01:52,645 --> 00:01:56,523
then we could have
discussed it properly.
20
00:01:56,525 --> 00:01:58,763
I do understand why you want
to help her.
21
00:01:58,765 --> 00:02:01,683
No, you're right. She's 53.
22
00:02:01,685 --> 00:02:02,843
Just.
23
00:02:02,845 --> 00:02:06,283
She needs to stop thinking
she can tap money off me.
24
00:02:06,285 --> 00:02:09,043
I just worry, you know,
about workmen.
25
00:02:09,045 --> 00:02:12,443
They can have you over a barrel
if you start mucking them about.
26
00:02:12,445 --> 00:02:15,923
Yeah. Not turning up,
turning up late,
27
00:02:15,925 --> 00:02:19,205
turning up when it suits
them. I know, I know.
28
00:02:21,125 --> 00:02:22,443
We can't fall out, can we?
29
00:02:22,445 --> 00:02:24,123
No!
30
00:02:24,125 --> 00:02:26,165
And we're not going to.
31
00:02:30,485 --> 00:02:34,243
Have you applied for this job
in this supermarket
32
00:02:34,245 --> 00:02:35,803
because you're fed up with me?
33
00:02:35,805 --> 00:02:37,163
No!
34
00:02:37,165 --> 00:02:40,123
I know things haven't been
the same between us
35
00:02:40,125 --> 00:02:43,685
since we couldn't agree about
Brexit.
36
00:02:45,965 --> 00:02:50,003
It's just...to get out of the
house now and again.
37
00:02:50,005 --> 00:02:51,563
Just...
38
00:02:51,565 --> 00:02:54,203
..to see a few new faces.
39
00:02:54,205 --> 00:02:56,885
Seeing new faces keeps you
young.
40
00:02:58,565 --> 00:03:01,685
Are you fed up with this old face?
41
00:03:04,005 --> 00:03:05,763
OWL HOOTS
42
00:03:05,765 --> 00:03:07,125
No.
43
00:03:24,685 --> 00:03:26,563
TV ON
44
00:03:26,565 --> 00:03:28,683
DOG WHINES
45
00:03:28,685 --> 00:03:30,843
Listen, don't take this the
wrong way,
46
00:03:30,845 --> 00:03:32,963
but I can lend you this £5,000.
47
00:03:32,965 --> 00:03:34,283
No.
48
00:03:34,285 --> 00:03:36,003
Caroline,
49
00:03:36,005 --> 00:03:37,923
she's right.
50
00:03:37,925 --> 00:03:41,083
Shouldn't have asked.
Well, it's there. The offer.
51
00:03:41,085 --> 00:03:42,203
If you need it.
52
00:03:42,205 --> 00:03:44,683
You're kind, but no.
53
00:03:44,685 --> 00:03:47,285
I'll have to find another way.
54
00:03:50,965 --> 00:03:52,485
I, er...
55
00:03:54,485 --> 00:03:55,645
What?
56
00:04:01,965 --> 00:04:03,805
I got a birthday card off Robbie.
57
00:04:09,605 --> 00:04:12,643
Sounds like he's doing all right.
Do you think he'll stay in Canada?
58
00:04:12,645 --> 00:04:14,923
That's the first time he's been
in touch since he went.
59
00:04:14,925 --> 00:04:15,923
Well, in touch with me.
60
00:04:15,925 --> 00:04:18,003
He texts Raff every now and
again. It's a nice message.
61
00:04:18,005 --> 00:04:19,363
That's what I thought.
62
00:04:19,365 --> 00:04:21,523
I mean...it's, er, reassuring.
63
00:04:21,525 --> 00:04:26,243
He hasn't changed his mind about not
saying anything to anybody...
64
00:04:26,245 --> 00:04:27,685
..about owt.
65
00:04:28,725 --> 00:04:30,005
Hmm.
66
00:04:32,245 --> 00:04:35,843
I don't miss him. I thought
I might, in time, but...
67
00:04:35,845 --> 00:04:37,483
You don't get lonely?
68
00:04:37,485 --> 00:04:39,805
I think this is the least lonely
I've ever been.
69
00:04:42,005 --> 00:04:44,523
Do you? Get lonely?
70
00:04:44,525 --> 00:04:48,483
Yeah. I think, you know,
when you've got a little one
71
00:04:48,485 --> 00:04:51,683
and you spend so much time
talking their language,
72
00:04:51,685 --> 00:04:55,323
and then there's nobody there
to talk yours, then...yeah.
73
00:04:55,325 --> 00:04:58,363
You want to put yourself out
there. I don't.
74
00:04:58,365 --> 00:05:01,363
You need to get yourself over
to Hebden Women's Disco.
75
00:05:01,365 --> 00:05:04,283
I am not going to
Hebden Women's Disco.
76
00:05:04,285 --> 00:05:07,283
Second Saturday in the month.
I'll come with you.
77
00:05:07,285 --> 00:05:09,123
You'll be there by yourself,
mate, cos I'm not coming.
78
00:05:09,125 --> 00:05:11,963
Where do posh lesbians go to
get...? The Guardian!
79
00:05:11,965 --> 00:05:15,163
Soulmates. Don't do this to me.
No, they do!
80
00:05:15,165 --> 00:05:16,763
I've got someone coming round for
dinner tomorrow night.
81
00:05:16,765 --> 00:05:21,083
Don't get excited! It's not...
She's probably not, erm...
82
00:05:21,085 --> 00:05:24,643
It's my head of English. Ruth.
83
00:05:24,645 --> 00:05:26,443
Wow.
84
00:05:26,445 --> 00:05:28,163
Yes, the same as... The dog.
85
00:05:28,165 --> 00:05:29,643
I know. Yeah. What's she like?
86
00:05:29,645 --> 00:05:30,963
Well, she's not...
87
00:05:30,965 --> 00:05:32,443
WHISPERING: ..gay.
88
00:05:32,445 --> 00:05:34,363
Her husband's sleeping
in the spare bedroom,
89
00:05:34,365 --> 00:05:36,763
but she's not gay, so...
90
00:05:36,765 --> 00:05:38,923
But you like her.
91
00:05:38,925 --> 00:05:41,005
She's 15 years younger than
me and she's not...
92
00:05:42,365 --> 00:05:45,443
..as I say, but, yeah, yeah.
I do, yeah.
93
00:05:45,445 --> 00:05:47,203
Do I? No, I don't know.
94
00:05:47,205 --> 00:05:50,083
So, she's coming round for...?
95
00:05:50,085 --> 00:05:51,763
Well, to go through the Q&A.
96
00:05:51,765 --> 00:05:55,083
She's doing the Q&A when Judith
comes, so, obviously,
97
00:05:55,085 --> 00:05:57,483
it's got to go smoothly
98
00:05:57,485 --> 00:06:00,883
and be well planned...
Yeah! God, yeah, Judith.
99
00:06:00,885 --> 00:06:02,563
No messing about.
No tripping up, pissed.
100
00:06:02,565 --> 00:06:06,203
So you've invited her over for
dinner? Ruth?
101
00:06:06,205 --> 00:06:09,363
Yeah, maybe I shouldn't have.
No, you should have!
102
00:06:09,365 --> 00:06:13,125
Yeah, but I don't know what
you...what you do. I don't know...
103
00:06:14,885 --> 00:06:16,763
..anything, and I kind of wish
I hadn't now,
104
00:06:16,765 --> 00:06:18,123
now that I've said it out loud.
105
00:06:18,125 --> 00:06:20,923
Do you want me to come?
Say all the wrong things?
106
00:06:20,925 --> 00:06:23,443
Yeah, that'd help.
Show you up, embarrass you?
107
00:06:23,445 --> 00:06:24,923
Yeah, brilliant.
108
00:06:24,925 --> 00:06:26,363
"Caroline fancies you"!
109
00:06:26,365 --> 00:06:27,563
Shh.
110
00:06:27,565 --> 00:06:29,723
That'd focus everyone's thoughts.
111
00:06:29,725 --> 00:06:31,165
Don't make me wish I hadn't
told you.
112
00:06:33,125 --> 00:06:34,603
You should go for it.
113
00:06:34,605 --> 00:06:36,163
You're very attractive,
114
00:06:36,165 --> 00:06:38,043
even if she is 15 years
younger.
115
00:06:38,045 --> 00:06:39,523
She should be so lucky.
116
00:06:39,525 --> 00:06:40,765
Seriously.
117
00:06:41,765 --> 00:06:43,085
Life's short.
118
00:06:45,285 --> 00:06:47,043
You deserve something nice.
119
00:06:47,045 --> 00:06:48,965
You're a nice person.
120
00:07:10,125 --> 00:07:11,323
Dad?
121
00:07:11,325 --> 00:07:13,043
Hmm?
122
00:07:13,045 --> 00:07:15,925
You all right? Mmm. Yeah.
123
00:07:17,125 --> 00:07:18,723
Sitting in the dark.
124
00:07:18,725 --> 00:07:19,963
Cool.
125
00:07:19,965 --> 00:07:21,565
Bit weird.
126
00:07:24,525 --> 00:07:26,483
What would you think about...
127
00:07:26,485 --> 00:07:28,003
..if I got married again?
128
00:07:28,005 --> 00:07:29,123
Who to?
129
00:07:29,125 --> 00:07:30,603
Well, Judith, of course.
130
00:07:30,605 --> 00:07:31,965
HE GIGGLES
131
00:07:34,725 --> 00:07:36,123
You don't like her.
132
00:07:36,125 --> 00:07:37,603
How do you mean?
133
00:07:37,605 --> 00:07:38,683
She doesn't like you.
134
00:07:38,685 --> 00:07:40,923
In what way?
You hate each other.
135
00:07:40,925 --> 00:07:42,323
Oh, I see.
136
00:07:42,325 --> 00:07:43,923
Well, yes.
137
00:07:43,925 --> 00:07:49,843
I realise that's...an impression we
may have cultivated.
138
00:07:49,845 --> 00:07:51,685
I've always found it convincing.
139
00:07:52,925 --> 00:07:54,403
The thing is,
140
00:07:54,405 --> 00:07:55,965
I don't want to hurt her.
141
00:07:57,365 --> 00:07:58,565
No.
142
00:07:59,765 --> 00:08:01,125
Yeah. Yeah. Right.
143
00:08:05,165 --> 00:08:09,563
Well, I'm just invading Iraq
upstairs, so...
144
00:08:09,565 --> 00:08:12,285
I'm just going to... Sure.
145
00:08:36,805 --> 00:08:38,723
So I thought I'd jump in
the Jag
146
00:08:38,725 --> 00:08:42,085
with you and Flora, and Ted can
travel in the Lexus with Alan.
147
00:08:43,325 --> 00:08:45,083
We'll need the Jag, anyway, for
Ted's luggage,
148
00:08:45,085 --> 00:08:47,563
by the sound of things. Right.
149
00:08:47,565 --> 00:08:51,325
Are you feeding the 5,000? No.
150
00:08:52,325 --> 00:08:55,163
Got someone coming? Possibly.
151
00:08:55,165 --> 00:08:57,483
Well, shall I set off, then,
if you're going together?
152
00:08:57,485 --> 00:08:59,243
Do you know,
I could've met you there.
153
00:08:59,245 --> 00:09:00,645
Yeah, that's what I said.
154
00:09:08,805 --> 00:09:11,883
I just wanted five minutes
with you. Why?
155
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:15,363
I think he's fed up with me.
Alan? Why?
156
00:09:15,365 --> 00:09:17,723
Well, why has he applied
for this job?
157
00:09:17,725 --> 00:09:20,643
"To get out of the house,"
he's told me.
158
00:09:20,645 --> 00:09:22,523
"To see a few new faces."
159
00:09:22,525 --> 00:09:24,165
Well, that's...
160
00:09:25,325 --> 00:09:29,683
Doesn't mean he's fed up of you.
Well, if he was happy at home,
161
00:09:29,685 --> 00:09:32,803
he wouldn't think of applying
for a job, would he?
162
00:09:32,805 --> 00:09:36,043
You know, it isn't as if he
needs to, is it? He's retired.
163
00:09:36,045 --> 00:09:37,523
Yeah, but you don't want to be
164
00:09:37,525 --> 00:09:41,323
in each other's pockets all day,
do you? Do you?
165
00:09:41,325 --> 00:09:44,723
And then this business last
night with bloody Gillian.
166
00:09:44,725 --> 00:09:46,043
Shh! Just...
167
00:09:46,045 --> 00:09:47,563
Oh...
168
00:09:47,565 --> 00:09:48,885
Be careful what you say. Oh.
169
00:10:06,885 --> 00:10:08,723
There. Look.
170
00:10:08,725 --> 00:10:12,083
Grando! Hello, love.
171
00:10:12,085 --> 00:10:13,403
Hello.
172
00:10:13,405 --> 00:10:14,443
Hey, you beat me!
173
00:10:14,445 --> 00:10:17,003
Hmm. Looks like he's landed,
if he's on it.
174
00:10:17,005 --> 00:10:19,843
He'll have security to get
through, four bags to collect,
175
00:10:19,845 --> 00:10:22,283
and can't walk so fast, so he's
going to be, what,
176
00:10:22,285 --> 00:10:23,723
20 minutes? Ah.
177
00:10:23,725 --> 00:10:26,005
Can I go and look in that shop?
Stay where I can see you.
178
00:10:29,605 --> 00:10:31,965
Can I have some money?
No, you can window-shop.
179
00:10:33,085 --> 00:10:34,643
It's all landfill.
180
00:10:34,645 --> 00:10:38,443
Have you seen Celia,
and Caroline? Not yet.
181
00:10:38,445 --> 00:10:42,803
Everything all right at home
last night when you got back?
182
00:10:42,805 --> 00:10:44,163
Yeah!
183
00:10:44,165 --> 00:10:45,565
Yeah. Yeah.
184
00:10:46,925 --> 00:10:49,883
HE SIGHS
I should've talked to her
185
00:10:49,885 --> 00:10:53,603
about that there before we came
over, and then...
186
00:10:53,605 --> 00:10:56,443
Yeah. Well... I'm sorry.
187
00:10:56,445 --> 00:11:00,123
It's fine. Here, happen I could give
you a bit of something towards it,
188
00:11:00,125 --> 00:11:04,123
at least, and not tell Celia.
No. No, I'm not having that.
189
00:11:04,125 --> 00:11:07,283
You see, you try and please
everyone, and you end up
pleasing nobody!
190
00:11:07,285 --> 00:11:09,923
Presumably Celia's happy now?
HE SIGHS
191
00:11:09,925 --> 00:11:12,605
Which is fine. It's fine. Hey!
192
00:11:17,525 --> 00:11:19,003
Ey-up, they're here.
193
00:11:19,005 --> 00:11:20,163
Yeah.
194
00:11:20,165 --> 00:11:23,363
Long time no see!
Long time no see!
195
00:11:23,365 --> 00:11:25,003
They're great chums,
them two, aren't they, hey?
196
00:11:25,005 --> 00:11:28,003
They never stop chatting when we
pick 'em up from school.
197
00:11:28,005 --> 00:11:29,203
Yeah, they love each other.
198
00:11:29,205 --> 00:11:31,203
She's a nice little kid, Flora.
199
00:11:31,205 --> 00:11:33,163
Yeah.
200
00:11:33,165 --> 00:11:35,445
Looks like he's landed! Yup!
201
00:11:36,685 --> 00:11:37,885
Hopefully.
202
00:12:00,045 --> 00:12:03,965
I'm going feeding chickens!
Right!
203
00:12:37,765 --> 00:12:39,445
Ohh...
204
00:12:50,005 --> 00:12:52,085
Fuck...off!
205
00:12:53,805 --> 00:12:55,765
PHONE RINGS
206
00:12:58,605 --> 00:13:00,283
Hiya.
207
00:13:00,285 --> 00:13:03,723
You need to come and look at this.
Why, what's up?
208
00:13:03,725 --> 00:13:05,405
Well, where are you?
209
00:13:08,565 --> 00:13:11,045
Are you smoking? No.
210
00:13:12,485 --> 00:13:15,603
You were, you were smoking!
211
00:13:15,605 --> 00:13:18,683
You know, I'm not stupid,
I'm not blind.
212
00:13:18,685 --> 00:13:20,923
This is that Leah
you're always on about!
213
00:13:20,925 --> 00:13:23,323
When we went out for that drink
before Christmas with your lot,
214
00:13:23,325 --> 00:13:26,363
she were never inside the pub!
Always standing outside
215
00:13:26,365 --> 00:13:28,403
in the rain cracking her baccy
open!
216
00:13:28,405 --> 00:13:31,645
This is just so typical of you,
this is. You're just so...
217
00:13:35,085 --> 00:13:37,925
Oh, my actual God.
218
00:13:43,445 --> 00:13:45,403
Who did you say you'd got
coming for dinner tonight?
219
00:13:45,405 --> 00:13:47,083
I didn't,
220
00:13:47,085 --> 00:13:49,565
cos I don't want any
comments or opinions.
221
00:13:52,605 --> 00:13:54,045
Is that Ted?
222
00:13:55,245 --> 00:13:56,283
Ted!
223
00:13:56,285 --> 00:13:59,603
Ah! Here we are! Thanks,
love, that'll do.
224
00:13:59,605 --> 00:14:01,603
Are you all right? Yes.
225
00:14:01,605 --> 00:14:03,683
Oh, no, it's not mine, no.
No, we borrowed it.
226
00:14:03,685 --> 00:14:05,443
We just saw it down there.
227
00:14:05,445 --> 00:14:07,243
I think it belongs to the airline.
228
00:14:07,245 --> 00:14:09,763
Either that, or there's someone
down there struggling.
229
00:14:09,765 --> 00:14:11,003
BOTH CHUCKLE
230
00:14:11,005 --> 00:14:14,683
How are we all? Hello, hello,
hello! Look at you!
231
00:14:14,685 --> 00:14:16,843
Ted!
232
00:14:16,845 --> 00:14:20,203
Gillian!
Oh, Ted, hello. Mwah.
233
00:14:20,205 --> 00:14:22,403
And Caroline! Hello, Ted.
234
00:14:22,405 --> 00:14:24,283
Hello, love. Aw.
235
00:14:24,285 --> 00:14:27,483
And, er, who're these young
ladies?
236
00:14:27,485 --> 00:14:30,923
This is Calamity - Emily -
and this is Flora.
237
00:14:30,925 --> 00:14:32,443
How are you?
238
00:14:32,445 --> 00:14:34,163
I'm... I'm lovely!
239
00:14:34,165 --> 00:14:36,443
Oh, yeah, this is, er... Mia.
240
00:14:36,445 --> 00:14:38,123
Mia! And, er... Alyssa.
241
00:14:38,125 --> 00:14:39,443
And Alyssa.
242
00:14:39,445 --> 00:14:41,803
Hi. We chummed up in Hong Kong.
243
00:14:41,805 --> 00:14:44,363
He's so lovely! We love him.
244
00:14:44,365 --> 00:14:47,643
They've been looking after me.
I said we'd give them a lift.
245
00:14:47,645 --> 00:14:50,363
You have brought the Land Rover,
haven't you? Yeah! Yeah!
246
00:14:50,365 --> 00:14:53,443
Aw! Uncle Ted!
247
00:14:53,445 --> 00:14:55,483
Where are you going, exactly?
248
00:14:55,485 --> 00:14:57,003
Where do you want a lift to?
249
00:14:57,005 --> 00:14:58,483
Anywhere! Wherever you're going.
250
00:14:58,485 --> 00:15:01,083
We could put them up for a couple
of nights, couldn't we?
251
00:15:01,085 --> 00:15:03,043
Yeah! Yeah!
252
00:15:03,045 --> 00:15:06,763
Till they've got their bearings.
Yeah, if...
253
00:15:06,765 --> 00:15:09,163
Er, yeah.
We're no trouble.
254
00:15:09,165 --> 00:15:11,963
We can sleep anywhere.
We could sleep in a ditch.
255
00:15:11,965 --> 00:15:14,645
We'd rather not, but, um...
If we had to.
256
00:15:21,005 --> 00:15:23,243
See you later.
See you later!
257
00:15:23,245 --> 00:15:25,323
So...I'm confused.
258
00:15:25,325 --> 00:15:29,083
So I'm taking Ted's...everything
and the kitchen sink
259
00:15:29,085 --> 00:15:32,043
in my car with Mia and Alyssa,
260
00:15:32,045 --> 00:15:33,883
but you're taking their backpacks
261
00:15:33,885 --> 00:15:35,723
and Flora in your Land Rover.
Right.
262
00:15:35,725 --> 00:15:37,403
Then I'll collect Flora
from you later,
263
00:15:37,405 --> 00:15:38,603
when I've got five minutes.
264
00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:40,925
And where are the Kiwis
going to?
265
00:15:42,285 --> 00:15:44,323
Well, I have no idea. I know they're
not staying with me,
266
00:15:44,325 --> 00:15:45,403
because I've got Ruth coming.
267
00:15:45,405 --> 00:15:47,203
I would have them,
only we've no spare bedrooms.
268
00:15:47,205 --> 00:15:49,443
So, what am I doing with
their backpacks?
269
00:15:49,445 --> 00:15:51,123
Well, I'd drop them round at
my mum and your dad's.
270
00:15:51,125 --> 00:15:52,805
That's where I'm intending to
drop them.
271
00:15:54,085 --> 00:15:56,845
Good thinking, Batman. See you
there. I'll see you somewhere.
272
00:16:09,805 --> 00:16:11,603
GIRLS GIGGLE
273
00:16:11,605 --> 00:16:13,283
PHONE RINGS
Hello!
274
00:16:13,285 --> 00:16:16,243
You know when you set off
to the airport?
275
00:16:16,245 --> 00:16:17,803
Yeah.
276
00:16:17,805 --> 00:16:20,043
As you were driving away
from the house,
277
00:16:20,045 --> 00:16:22,523
did you not look in
your rear-view mirror at all?
278
00:16:22,525 --> 00:16:25,323
Why? What for?
You didn't notice
279
00:16:25,325 --> 00:16:29,443
anything...unusual about
the barn?
280
00:16:29,445 --> 00:16:30,923
The barn?
281
00:16:30,925 --> 00:16:33,123
No. OK.
282
00:16:33,125 --> 00:16:34,843
Why?
283
00:16:34,845 --> 00:16:38,243
Just...when you come back,
284
00:16:38,245 --> 00:16:41,723
see if you can spot anything.
285
00:16:41,725 --> 00:16:43,443
See if anything catches your eye.
286
00:16:43,445 --> 00:16:46,365
Am I getting any clues?
No. No, I'll, er...
287
00:16:47,605 --> 00:16:49,363
I'll leave it with you.
288
00:16:49,365 --> 00:16:50,965
What are you on about?
289
00:16:58,125 --> 00:17:01,045
You do realise this could be worth
a lot of money, don't you?
290
00:17:03,765 --> 00:17:05,163
CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS
291
00:17:05,165 --> 00:17:07,963
I've no idea who they are,
them two lasses.
292
00:17:07,965 --> 00:17:11,083
They just latched on to me
in Hong Kong.
293
00:17:11,085 --> 00:17:12,885
But they're pleasant enough.
294
00:17:14,485 --> 00:17:16,963
Although one of them talks all
the time.
295
00:17:16,965 --> 00:17:19,483
HE CHUCKLES
And the other one's a bit quiet.
296
00:17:19,485 --> 00:17:21,283
But they...
297
00:17:21,285 --> 00:17:22,965
They were very helpful.
298
00:17:24,685 --> 00:17:26,043
Let's go for a pint!
299
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:27,403
A pint? Sure!
300
00:17:27,405 --> 00:17:30,683
Shall we call the others
to come and join us?
301
00:17:30,685 --> 00:17:32,363
No. Just you and me.
302
00:17:32,365 --> 00:17:34,403
Somewhere nice.
303
00:17:34,405 --> 00:17:36,085
Somewhere quiet.
304
00:17:37,445 --> 00:17:38,725
Sure.
305
00:17:52,245 --> 00:17:54,123
Is this near Scotland?
306
00:17:54,125 --> 00:17:57,805
Well...relative to New Zealand
it is, yeah.
307
00:17:59,445 --> 00:18:00,563
What?
308
00:18:00,565 --> 00:18:03,723
You can probably get to
Edinburgh from Leeds
309
00:18:03,725 --> 00:18:05,123
in a couple of hours on a train.
310
00:18:05,125 --> 00:18:08,443
We could drop you in Leeds,
if you want, at the station.
311
00:18:08,445 --> 00:18:09,963
They haven't got their bags.
312
00:18:09,965 --> 00:18:13,203
Well, whose bloody idea was that?
313
00:18:13,205 --> 00:18:14,763
Logistics!
314
00:18:14,765 --> 00:18:16,603
You saw how full the boot was.
315
00:18:16,605 --> 00:18:18,203
Oh, we'll do here first!
316
00:18:18,205 --> 00:18:21,043
What are the top five things to
do in Yorkshire?
317
00:18:21,045 --> 00:18:23,403
Like...in a cultural way.
Oh! Well...
318
00:18:23,405 --> 00:18:27,723
You know what we're world
famous for round by us?
319
00:18:27,725 --> 00:18:30,205
What? The Bronte sisters.
320
00:18:32,205 --> 00:18:33,563
Are they...?
321
00:18:33,565 --> 00:18:35,003
Is that...?
322
00:18:35,005 --> 00:18:36,923
Is that, like, erm...? What is that?
323
00:18:36,925 --> 00:18:39,523
Oh, the Bronte sisters!
324
00:18:39,525 --> 00:18:41,723
You know, they wrote novels...
325
00:18:41,725 --> 00:18:46,163
..walking round a table
at the parsonage in Haworth.
326
00:18:46,165 --> 00:18:49,643
The Bronte sisters.
Charlotte and Emily and...
327
00:18:49,645 --> 00:18:51,083
..the other one.
328
00:18:51,085 --> 00:18:53,403
And Branwell.
No, he was the brother.
329
00:18:53,405 --> 00:18:56,203
Yes, I know he was the brother.
You've heard of them?
330
00:18:56,205 --> 00:18:58,843
They wrote Jane Eyre
and Wuthering Heights
331
00:18:58,845 --> 00:19:00,683
before they died.
332
00:19:00,685 --> 00:19:02,883
What else did they write?
333
00:19:02,885 --> 00:19:05,243
The Turn Of The Shrew...Screw.
334
00:19:05,245 --> 00:19:07,043
The... What is it?
335
00:19:07,045 --> 00:19:09,683
The Taming Of The...
The Tenant Of Wildfell Hall.
336
00:19:09,685 --> 00:19:12,443
No, that's that other one.
The other fella.
337
00:19:12,445 --> 00:19:13,563
What other fella?
338
00:19:13,565 --> 00:19:15,563
The Woman In White.
339
00:19:15,565 --> 00:19:17,003
No, that's Wilkie Collins.
340
00:19:17,005 --> 00:19:18,763
What is?
The Woman In White.
341
00:19:18,765 --> 00:19:21,643
Well, who am I thinking
about, then? Which one?
342
00:19:21,645 --> 00:19:24,843
Which fella wrote that other
one? That other one I said.
343
00:19:24,845 --> 00:19:26,323
The Taming Of The Shrew
is Shakespeare.
344
00:19:26,325 --> 00:19:28,603
The Turn Of The Screw is
Henry...um...
345
00:19:28,605 --> 00:19:30,443
Henry...
346
00:19:30,445 --> 00:19:32,683
What's his name?
He's really famous.
347
00:19:32,685 --> 00:19:34,963
The Bostonians,
Washington Square.
348
00:19:34,965 --> 00:19:38,123
What's his...? Henry...
VIII?
349
00:19:38,125 --> 00:19:39,563
James!
350
00:19:39,565 --> 00:19:41,045
It's Henry James!
351
00:19:42,325 --> 00:19:45,283
You can't not have
heard of the Bronte sisters,
352
00:19:45,285 --> 00:19:47,445
even in New Zealand.
353
00:20:34,165 --> 00:20:35,485
It's good, innit?
354
00:20:47,965 --> 00:20:49,963
Oh, I dream about this.
355
00:20:49,965 --> 00:20:51,525
There you go.
356
00:20:52,565 --> 00:20:55,443
It's what gets me to sleep at
night.
357
00:20:55,445 --> 00:20:56,963
A Yorkshire pint
358
00:20:56,965 --> 00:20:58,323
in a Yorkshire pub
359
00:20:58,325 --> 00:20:59,603
on a Yorkshire hillside.
360
00:20:59,605 --> 00:21:00,885
BOTH: Cheers.
361
00:21:03,565 --> 00:21:05,643
You know we've been worried
about you, don't you?
362
00:21:05,645 --> 00:21:08,683
Nadine rang.
Oh, bugger Nadine!
363
00:21:08,685 --> 00:21:10,923
She's a bloody nuisance.
Oh, is she?
364
00:21:10,925 --> 00:21:12,323
And she tells lies.
365
00:21:12,325 --> 00:21:13,763
They all do.
366
00:21:13,765 --> 00:21:15,443
She said you'd sold the house.
367
00:21:15,445 --> 00:21:18,243
What else did she tell you?
Well, just that.
368
00:21:18,245 --> 00:21:23,323
Well, that you'd, er,
fallen out with 'em all.
369
00:21:23,325 --> 00:21:25,283
She didn't say why.
370
00:21:25,285 --> 00:21:26,683
PHONE BEEPS
371
00:21:26,685 --> 00:21:28,603
Ooh.
372
00:21:28,605 --> 00:21:32,883
Oh! Well, there you go.
I've got a job! You have?
373
00:21:32,885 --> 00:21:35,203
Yeah...
My interview was successful.
374
00:21:35,205 --> 00:21:36,963
Doing what?
375
00:21:36,965 --> 00:21:40,243
I've got to go on an induction
course.
376
00:21:40,245 --> 00:21:42,443
Monday morning, 9am.
377
00:21:42,445 --> 00:21:44,405
Four hours!
378
00:21:45,685 --> 00:21:49,123
Smart, comfortable clothes,
comfortable shoes.
379
00:21:49,125 --> 00:21:51,843
Um, checkout assistant
380
00:21:51,845 --> 00:21:53,563
in, um, a supermarket.
381
00:21:53,565 --> 00:21:55,443
What are you doing that for?
382
00:21:55,445 --> 00:21:58,923
Then I go straight on to a shift
in the afternoon. Hmm?
383
00:21:58,925 --> 00:22:00,325
Fun.
384
00:22:01,725 --> 00:22:03,083
We must get some champagne!
385
00:22:03,085 --> 00:22:05,443
Champagne? Yeah, I want to
stop off somewhere,
386
00:22:05,445 --> 00:22:07,203
buy some champagne to celebrate.
387
00:22:07,205 --> 00:22:08,563
My new job?
388
00:22:08,565 --> 00:22:10,883
No, not your bloody job!
389
00:22:10,885 --> 00:22:14,563
What do you need a bloody
job for at your age? No.
390
00:22:14,565 --> 00:22:16,245
Me being here!
391
00:22:17,765 --> 00:22:20,483
And, er, Bovril!
392
00:22:20,485 --> 00:22:23,043
Who?
We must get some Bovril.
393
00:22:23,045 --> 00:22:25,283
You can't get Bovril
in New Zealand.
394
00:22:25,285 --> 00:22:26,565
Oh.
395
00:22:29,045 --> 00:22:32,883
So, what did you all fall out
about?
396
00:22:32,885 --> 00:22:35,643
Oh, it's long and boring.
397
00:22:35,645 --> 00:22:37,043
I'm not going anywhere.
398
00:22:37,045 --> 00:22:39,163
Well, you know what kids are
like.
399
00:22:39,165 --> 00:22:41,563
Always looking for hand-outs,
400
00:22:41,565 --> 00:22:43,325
even when they're in their 50s.
401
00:22:44,925 --> 00:22:47,723
So I've... I've told them all,
they can...
402
00:22:47,725 --> 00:22:49,603
HE BLOWS RASPBERRY
..do one.
403
00:22:49,605 --> 00:22:50,803
Oh...
404
00:22:50,805 --> 00:22:53,483
They didn't even know
you were on a plane.
405
00:22:53,485 --> 00:22:54,563
No.
406
00:22:54,565 --> 00:22:55,843
Well...
407
00:22:55,845 --> 00:22:58,885
..happen it'll make them
think. Hmm.
408
00:23:01,005 --> 00:23:04,443
You're not short of money,
are you? Me?
409
00:23:04,445 --> 00:23:08,645
HE CHUCKLES
Oh, no, no!
410
00:23:10,085 --> 00:23:11,725
I'm glad to hear it.
411
00:23:20,845 --> 00:23:23,523
CALAMITY: What is that?
412
00:23:23,525 --> 00:23:24,723
What is that?
413
00:23:24,725 --> 00:23:26,403
It's a giraffe!
414
00:23:26,405 --> 00:23:28,203
I'm screaming!
415
00:23:28,205 --> 00:23:30,803
BOTH SCREAM
She's screaming!
416
00:23:30,805 --> 00:23:32,963
We're screaming!
417
00:23:32,965 --> 00:23:35,563
GIRLS SCREAM
How did it get there?
418
00:23:35,565 --> 00:23:37,603
Has somebody done that?
What is it?
419
00:23:37,605 --> 00:23:39,125
GIRLS SCREAM
420
00:23:44,245 --> 00:23:46,883
How could you not see it
when you left?
421
00:23:46,885 --> 00:23:49,683
I...I might not always be
looking in my mirrors.
422
00:23:49,685 --> 00:23:51,163
I might be looking
in the direction of travel,
423
00:23:51,165 --> 00:23:54,283
for instance, in the traditional
manner. It's a Banksy.
424
00:23:54,285 --> 00:23:55,483
I can...
425
00:23:55,485 --> 00:23:56,965
I can see...
426
00:23:59,805 --> 00:24:01,803
How did...?
427
00:24:01,805 --> 00:24:03,643
It wasn't there yesterday.
428
00:24:03,645 --> 00:24:05,803
It definitely wasn't there
yesterday,
429
00:24:05,805 --> 00:24:07,603
because I walked down here,
430
00:24:07,605 --> 00:24:10,283
and everyone came round
last night for supper!
431
00:24:10,285 --> 00:24:13,523
They'd all have seen it.
Somebody would have seen that!
432
00:24:13,525 --> 00:24:16,803
Well, he must've done it in the
night. I mean, that's what he does!
433
00:24:16,805 --> 00:24:17,965
Like, by stealth!
434
00:24:19,245 --> 00:24:21,645
It'll be worth millions.
435
00:24:30,645 --> 00:24:33,443
You've got more room than me.
436
00:24:33,445 --> 00:24:36,523
No. I haven't. I've got one guest
bedroom, the same as you.
437
00:24:36,525 --> 00:24:38,123
You've got two, in fact.
438
00:24:38,125 --> 00:24:40,283
But Ted's in one of them!
439
00:24:40,285 --> 00:24:43,803
They can share, they're kids.
I'm sorry.
440
00:24:43,805 --> 00:24:47,563
Gillian's dropped your bags
off, girls! Thanks!
441
00:24:47,565 --> 00:24:51,243
Where are Alan and Ted? I thought
they'd be back sooner than us.
442
00:24:51,245 --> 00:24:54,283
Right...I'm off.
443
00:24:54,285 --> 00:24:57,283
You're better with younger
people than me.
444
00:24:57,285 --> 00:24:59,803
You're used to them.
You know how to talk to them!
445
00:24:59,805 --> 00:25:01,843
Yes, all week! This is my weekend.
446
00:25:01,845 --> 00:25:03,923
Yes, but... No!
447
00:25:03,925 --> 00:25:06,563
So, are we staying here,
Celia, or...?
448
00:25:06,565 --> 00:25:09,643
Well, Caroline's got more
room than me, really.
449
00:25:09,645 --> 00:25:12,163
You know, I'd be delighted
any other time,
450
00:25:12,165 --> 00:25:14,243
except I've got a guest
coming this evening
451
00:25:14,245 --> 00:25:15,483
and I still haven't started
cooking,
452
00:25:15,485 --> 00:25:17,683
then I've got to collect Flora
from...
453
00:25:17,685 --> 00:25:20,403
PHONE RINGS, SHE SIGHS
454
00:25:20,405 --> 00:25:22,123
Gillian, hello.
455
00:25:22,125 --> 00:25:23,563
Where are you? Yeah, I'm coming.
456
00:25:23,565 --> 00:25:24,883
I'm just at my mother's. Why?
457
00:25:24,885 --> 00:25:26,165
I...
458
00:25:27,125 --> 00:25:28,483
..need you.
459
00:25:28,485 --> 00:25:29,963
Oh.
460
00:25:29,965 --> 00:25:31,205
OK.
461
00:25:32,285 --> 00:25:33,525
I'll be ten minutes.
462
00:25:36,605 --> 00:25:39,203
Right! I'm off.
463
00:25:39,205 --> 00:25:41,403
Good luck!
464
00:25:41,405 --> 00:25:43,243
Have fun. I'll, erm...
465
00:25:43,245 --> 00:25:44,805
..tomorrow!
466
00:25:49,285 --> 00:25:50,725
Right.
467
00:25:52,925 --> 00:25:56,083
How long are you stopping,
by the way?
468
00:25:56,085 --> 00:25:59,163
What? Oh! Oh! Oh, yeah,
that's it.
469
00:25:59,165 --> 00:26:01,363
That's what I wanted to talk to
you about.
470
00:26:01,365 --> 00:26:02,723
I'm not going back.
471
00:26:02,725 --> 00:26:05,483
I bought a one-way ticket.
472
00:26:05,485 --> 00:26:06,843
Have you told anyone?
473
00:26:06,845 --> 00:26:09,483
Mr Buttershaw? Hello.
474
00:26:09,485 --> 00:26:11,403
I thought it was you!
475
00:26:11,405 --> 00:26:12,845
How did you get on with the lad?
476
00:26:13,885 --> 00:26:15,803
Oh, him. Yeah. Yeah.
477
00:26:15,805 --> 00:26:17,443
He ran off.
478
00:26:17,445 --> 00:26:19,403
I said he would.
I told you not to bother.
479
00:26:19,405 --> 00:26:20,923
I knocked on a door.
480
00:26:20,925 --> 00:26:22,483
He said it was where he lived.
481
00:26:22,485 --> 00:26:24,243
It wasn't. Who?
482
00:26:24,245 --> 00:26:26,723
Oh, this little kiddy.
483
00:26:26,725 --> 00:26:28,403
Shoplifting.
484
00:26:28,405 --> 00:26:29,923
The day I came for my interview.
485
00:26:29,925 --> 00:26:33,043
He's feral. Oh... No, seriously.
486
00:26:33,045 --> 00:26:35,483
Lives in a foster home up
Norland - he's supposed to -
487
00:26:35,485 --> 00:26:37,763
then he runs off,
lives in folk's sheds.
488
00:26:37,765 --> 00:26:39,763
Oh... No, I'm serious.
489
00:26:39,765 --> 00:26:41,563
They keep copping him, taking him
back and then he'll run off again.
490
00:26:41,565 --> 00:26:43,285
Good for him. It's what I'd do.
491
00:26:44,485 --> 00:26:48,363
My brother. Ted. He's just
flown in from New Zealand.
492
00:26:48,365 --> 00:26:50,683
This is David.
493
00:26:50,685 --> 00:26:52,323
He works here.
494
00:26:52,325 --> 00:26:53,683
How do?
495
00:26:53,685 --> 00:26:56,643
Well, did you get your tetanus?
496
00:26:56,645 --> 00:26:58,243
Nah. Didn't break the skin.
497
00:26:58,245 --> 00:27:01,163
Oh... I'm starting - Monday.
498
00:27:01,165 --> 00:27:02,323
Ah!
499
00:27:02,325 --> 00:27:05,403
I've got my induction day.
Well, very good.
500
00:27:05,405 --> 00:27:08,165
Well, I might be seeing you
then. Aye. Keep smiling.
501
00:27:09,645 --> 00:27:12,563
When you say you're stopping,
what do...what do you...
502
00:27:12,565 --> 00:27:14,203
Oh-ho! ..mean?
503
00:27:14,205 --> 00:27:15,723
85 quid!
HE CHUCKLES
504
00:27:15,725 --> 00:27:17,363
Must be good stuff.
505
00:27:17,365 --> 00:27:19,723
Do Nadine and the others know?
506
00:27:19,725 --> 00:27:24,163
I mean, I was born here
and I shall die here.
507
00:27:24,165 --> 00:27:27,405
I'm going to get some flowers
for Celia.
508
00:27:29,645 --> 00:27:30,765
HE SIGHS
509
00:27:32,885 --> 00:27:35,203
Look, I've said I'm sorry,
and I am sorry!
510
00:27:35,205 --> 00:27:37,643
I just thought it would be a
shame, you know,
511
00:27:37,645 --> 00:27:39,283
to waste a good black eye,
that's all.
512
00:27:39,285 --> 00:27:41,923
So what? Oh, come on,
Angus baby, I need you
513
00:27:41,925 --> 00:27:44,403
to do this thing over at Gillian's.
You'll have to give me some
514
00:27:44,405 --> 00:27:46,523
petrol money if we're going all
the way over there.
515
00:27:46,525 --> 00:27:48,605
Yeah, surely will.
516
00:27:53,285 --> 00:27:54,443
Crap.
517
00:27:54,445 --> 00:27:56,083
How much do you want?
518
00:27:56,085 --> 00:27:57,323
30.
519
00:27:57,325 --> 00:27:59,325
WATER BUBBLES
520
00:28:09,605 --> 00:28:11,205
RINGING TONE
521
00:28:13,925 --> 00:28:16,043
John! Caroline! Hi.
522
00:28:16,045 --> 00:28:17,283
Hi. How are you?
523
00:28:17,285 --> 00:28:19,443
I'm fine. How are you?
Good! Good!
524
00:28:19,445 --> 00:28:23,123
I just wanted to say thank you
for dinner again
525
00:28:23,125 --> 00:28:26,683
the other night. It was...
Well, it was delightful,
526
00:28:26,685 --> 00:28:29,563
not having seen you for so
long. What can I do for you?
527
00:28:29,565 --> 00:28:31,485
Oh, just...
528
00:28:33,085 --> 00:28:34,803
..Judith's asked me to marry her.
529
00:28:34,805 --> 00:28:36,005
Oh, shit!
530
00:28:37,325 --> 00:28:41,483
Are you going to?
Can I come over? Why? To talk.
531
00:28:41,485 --> 00:28:44,363
Not today, no,
I'm just collecting Flora,
532
00:28:44,365 --> 00:28:46,403
and then I've got someone
coming over for dinner. Who?
533
00:28:46,405 --> 00:28:48,603
No-one. It's just my head of
English.
534
00:28:48,605 --> 00:28:49,763
Is he...?
535
00:28:49,765 --> 00:28:51,283
Is he...
536
00:28:51,285 --> 00:28:52,803
..a woman?
537
00:28:52,805 --> 00:28:55,163
Yeah. Yeah, he is. A woman.
538
00:28:55,165 --> 00:28:56,485
Yup.
539
00:28:58,085 --> 00:29:00,403
I don't want to marry her.
540
00:29:00,405 --> 00:29:01,843
I don't think it's a good idea.
541
00:29:01,845 --> 00:29:03,803
No. Do you?
542
00:29:03,805 --> 00:29:05,683
No, but it's none of my
business, so there you go.
543
00:29:05,685 --> 00:29:07,523
Thing is...
544
00:29:07,525 --> 00:29:08,883
..I said yes.
545
00:29:08,885 --> 00:29:10,123
OK.
546
00:29:10,125 --> 00:29:11,243
It was...
547
00:29:11,245 --> 00:29:13,243
Well, it was awkward.
I couldn't say no.
548
00:29:13,245 --> 00:29:14,723
I should've done, but I didn't.
549
00:29:14,725 --> 00:29:17,403
And I couldn't say,
"Can I think about it?"
550
00:29:17,405 --> 00:29:19,083
because that sounds like no.
551
00:29:19,085 --> 00:29:20,365
And you see...
552
00:29:21,485 --> 00:29:22,843
..she's...
553
00:29:22,845 --> 00:29:27,403
It's her health, her mental health,
it's so delicate,
554
00:29:27,405 --> 00:29:30,403
so fragile, and I don't want her
to fall off the wagon again.
555
00:29:30,405 --> 00:29:31,963
I just...
556
00:29:31,965 --> 00:29:33,523
..don't want to marry her.
557
00:29:33,525 --> 00:29:35,043
Well, no. No. No!
558
00:29:35,045 --> 00:29:37,323
So this person you're seeing,
559
00:29:37,325 --> 00:29:39,043
this head of English,
560
00:29:39,045 --> 00:29:42,603
is she...? Is that...?
Are you...?
561
00:29:42,605 --> 00:29:44,163
Er, no. No. No, she's...
562
00:29:44,165 --> 00:29:45,883
We're just, um...
563
00:29:45,885 --> 00:29:47,243
Yeah.
564
00:29:47,245 --> 00:29:49,443
I mean, she's...she's... Yeah.
565
00:29:49,445 --> 00:29:52,243
But no. It's not... She's not...
566
00:29:52,245 --> 00:29:55,243
I wish I was still married to
you. There! I've said it.
567
00:29:55,245 --> 00:29:56,603
It's out there.
568
00:29:56,605 --> 00:29:58,083
Hmm.
569
00:29:58,085 --> 00:29:59,923
Caroline?
570
00:29:59,925 --> 00:30:01,923
Jesus Christ!
571
00:30:01,925 --> 00:30:05,523
I know! I know, I know, I get that
completely,
572
00:30:05,525 --> 00:30:08,763
but, look, I don't think you can
be completely gay
573
00:30:08,765 --> 00:30:13,603
because we had such a good life
together. We get each other.
574
00:30:13,605 --> 00:30:15,643
We're on the same wavelength.
Everyone else I know is...
575
00:30:15,645 --> 00:30:18,123
John... ..so shallow and
empty and dull...
576
00:30:18,125 --> 00:30:20,763
John! ..compared to you!
John, I'm going to have to go.
577
00:30:20,765 --> 00:30:22,003
Why? No, don't.
578
00:30:22,005 --> 00:30:25,003
I-I-I talk too much, I know.
I'm sorry. I...
579
00:30:25,005 --> 00:30:26,723
What did you just say?
580
00:30:26,725 --> 00:30:28,003
When?
581
00:30:28,005 --> 00:30:30,683
Then, just then, all that.
Sorry, I wasn't listening.
582
00:30:30,685 --> 00:30:32,043
Well, I...
583
00:30:32,045 --> 00:30:33,403
Can I ring you back?
584
00:30:33,405 --> 00:30:35,563
Yes! Yes, sure. When?
585
00:30:35,565 --> 00:30:37,203
It might not be today.
586
00:30:37,205 --> 00:30:38,645
CALL ENDS
587
00:30:42,125 --> 00:30:43,685
Well, that went well.
588
00:30:47,925 --> 00:30:49,363
Caroline's here.
589
00:30:49,365 --> 00:30:51,323
Why's your mum so weird
about the barn?
590
00:30:51,325 --> 00:30:54,483
She should be laughing her
socks off, and look at her.
591
00:30:54,485 --> 00:30:55,645
Oh...
592
00:30:56,845 --> 00:30:59,523
It's cos it's where me dad
killed himself.
593
00:30:59,525 --> 00:31:01,245
Oh, God.
594
00:31:02,685 --> 00:31:05,485
I... I didn't know
that's where it was.
595
00:31:07,085 --> 00:31:08,805
Sorry.
596
00:31:17,005 --> 00:31:19,405
Oh...
597
00:31:20,805 --> 00:31:22,803
Is it real?
598
00:31:22,805 --> 00:31:24,283
People are going to come
gawping, aren't they?
599
00:31:24,285 --> 00:31:25,803
They're going
to come poking about.
600
00:31:25,805 --> 00:31:27,483
It's going to be on
the f-f...news,
601
00:31:27,485 --> 00:31:30,523
I mean, whether it's real or
not. And what does it even mean?
602
00:31:30,525 --> 00:31:32,043
Giraffe?
603
00:31:32,045 --> 00:31:33,443
Giraffe!
604
00:31:33,445 --> 00:31:35,763
On a barn. On a farm?
605
00:31:35,765 --> 00:31:37,563
What? What?
606
00:31:37,565 --> 00:31:39,843
Oh, it'll be a metaphor.
For what?
607
00:31:39,845 --> 00:31:42,843
Well, it's something about the
industrialisation of farm animals
608
00:31:42,845 --> 00:31:44,843
or...or...in the modern world,
609
00:31:44,845 --> 00:31:47,883
or the exploitation of...
I'm organic! Nearly.
610
00:31:47,885 --> 00:31:50,443
I'm nice! My sheep are happy!
Ask them!
611
00:31:50,445 --> 00:31:52,123
I'm not exploiting anybody!
612
00:31:52,125 --> 00:31:54,803
I ought to be ringing 99 f-f...9!
613
00:31:54,805 --> 00:31:57,603
It's not personal.
It can't be, can it? It's just...
614
00:31:57,605 --> 00:31:59,365
Yeah, well, do some research!
615
00:32:00,645 --> 00:32:03,645
This is vandalism!
Fucking painters!
616
00:32:05,085 --> 00:32:08,243
Well, David Hockney will be
at it next. Gauguin, one o' them.
617
00:32:08,245 --> 00:32:10,123
Cannelloni!
He can come and have a go.
618
00:32:10,125 --> 00:32:11,443
Canaletto.
619
00:32:11,445 --> 00:32:13,203
Any of 'em. Twats.
620
00:32:13,205 --> 00:32:15,803
They need to leave people alone.
621
00:32:15,805 --> 00:32:17,283
Look, it's not... It's not, um...
622
00:32:17,285 --> 00:32:19,363
I hate that barn! I know.
623
00:32:19,365 --> 00:32:21,483
It's alive - that barn
has a mind of its own.
624
00:32:21,485 --> 00:32:24,283
I've told you before. No.
It doesn't, Gillian. He's in there.
625
00:32:24,285 --> 00:32:26,323
Eddie, not Banksy.
626
00:32:26,325 --> 00:32:29,283
He's in there.
Look, this could be a blessing.
627
00:32:29,285 --> 00:32:32,323
I know it's weird, but it could be
worth a lot of money.
628
00:32:32,325 --> 00:32:34,483
This could pay for your woodworm
and your roof timbers.
629
00:32:34,485 --> 00:32:37,043
Nothing good will ever come
out of that barn, Caroline.
630
00:32:37,045 --> 00:32:39,605
Oh, you don't know that.
This could be a turning point.
631
00:32:42,565 --> 00:32:44,323
Listen, I can't stay,
I've got to start cooking.
632
00:32:44,325 --> 00:32:47,163
Oh, God, you've got
your girlfriend coming.
633
00:32:47,165 --> 00:32:48,923
You've got to calm down.
I know it stirs things up,
634
00:32:48,925 --> 00:32:51,323
I know it does your head in,
but...
635
00:32:51,325 --> 00:32:52,763
..she's not my girlfriend.
636
00:32:52,765 --> 00:32:55,603
Flora! Come on!
637
00:32:55,605 --> 00:32:57,403
Bye. See you tomorrow!
638
00:32:57,405 --> 00:33:00,083
I'm at the end of the phone.
OK? Yeah. Yeah.
639
00:33:00,085 --> 00:33:01,205
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
640
00:33:03,845 --> 00:33:05,323
How did they get up there?
641
00:33:05,325 --> 00:33:08,965
Bye. See you, Auntie Gillian.
Yeah.
642
00:33:11,765 --> 00:33:13,725
Yo.
643
00:33:16,125 --> 00:33:18,803
Lawrence! Is your m...?
Hi, Angus.
644
00:33:18,805 --> 00:33:19,963
Is your mother see...?
645
00:33:19,965 --> 00:33:21,563
Ooh, Popular!
Can you lend me 30 squids?
646
00:33:21,565 --> 00:33:23,323
No, sorry. It's for petrol, please.
647
00:33:23,325 --> 00:33:25,445
Not got any cash on me, sorry.
648
00:33:27,885 --> 00:33:30,043
Sorry, just out of interest,
649
00:33:30,045 --> 00:33:31,723
is your mother seeing someone?
650
00:33:31,725 --> 00:33:33,245
No. Not that I know of.
651
00:33:34,445 --> 00:33:36,005
And anyway, what if she was?
652
00:33:48,605 --> 00:33:50,365
TV ON
653
00:33:51,925 --> 00:33:53,843
HE SNORES
654
00:33:53,845 --> 00:33:56,883
I was beginning to wonder
where the hell you'd got to!
655
00:33:56,885 --> 00:33:59,563
Well, yeah, he wanted a pint,
656
00:33:59,565 --> 00:34:01,443
and some Bovril, so...
HE CHUCKLES
657
00:34:01,445 --> 00:34:03,603
You have got a mobile phone.
658
00:34:03,605 --> 00:34:06,003
Yes. I never think.
659
00:34:06,005 --> 00:34:08,725
Have you learnt anything?
Hmm? Cos I have.
660
00:34:09,845 --> 00:34:11,923
They're nurses, them two.
661
00:34:11,925 --> 00:34:13,803
So, not as daft as they look.
662
00:34:13,805 --> 00:34:16,083
Nurses? On holiday.
663
00:34:16,085 --> 00:34:18,125
They've taken three months
off to travel.
664
00:34:19,325 --> 00:34:22,203
And they did just bump into
him in Hong Kong,
665
00:34:22,205 --> 00:34:24,963
but then they were having
to look after him.
666
00:34:24,965 --> 00:34:27,123
They reckon he'd been in a pickle
667
00:34:27,125 --> 00:34:29,643
trying to fathom Hong Kong on his
own.
668
00:34:29,645 --> 00:34:32,963
Anyway, I've said
they can stop a few nights,
669
00:34:32,965 --> 00:34:35,723
because they've obviously
been very kind to him.
670
00:34:35,725 --> 00:34:39,723
But that's it. Then we've got Martin
starting on the kitchen next week.
671
00:34:39,725 --> 00:34:42,163
And I can't be doing
with a houseful.
672
00:34:42,165 --> 00:34:44,963
Well, he says
he's not going back. Eh?
673
00:34:44,965 --> 00:34:48,363
Yeah, he says he's stopping.
Where? Here. Here?
674
00:34:48,365 --> 00:34:51,083
Well, I assume he's going to
buy himself a little house.
675
00:34:51,085 --> 00:34:54,403
If it's going to be
a permanent arrangement.
676
00:34:54,405 --> 00:34:55,683
I mean, he can't be short,
677
00:34:55,685 --> 00:34:59,043
spending £85 on a bottle of
champagne.
678
00:34:59,045 --> 00:35:01,003
And where is he going to be
stopping
679
00:35:01,005 --> 00:35:04,363
until he buys this little
house? Here?
680
00:35:04,365 --> 00:35:08,483
He sounds as if he's fallen out
with Nadine and everybody,
681
00:35:08,485 --> 00:35:11,843
cos they were tapping money off
him - trying to -
682
00:35:11,845 --> 00:35:13,443
after he'd sold his house.
683
00:35:13,445 --> 00:35:15,443
Well, where was he living
after he sold his house?
684
00:35:15,445 --> 00:35:16,483
With her.
685
00:35:16,485 --> 00:35:18,803
For a bit. Then I think he went
to their Simon
686
00:35:18,805 --> 00:35:21,763
for a month or two,
and then to one of the others.
687
00:35:21,765 --> 00:35:23,843
And then he rented a little flat.
688
00:35:23,845 --> 00:35:27,405
Rented? Why didn't he buy a
house there? I don't know.
689
00:35:28,645 --> 00:35:34,723
He'll not want to be stopping here
for any length of time, surely.
690
00:35:34,725 --> 00:35:36,885
He's been over there too long,
surely.
691
00:35:37,925 --> 00:35:40,523
I mean, his life's there,
not here.
692
00:35:40,525 --> 00:35:42,003
He seems quite adamant.
693
00:35:42,005 --> 00:35:45,483
He'll be thinking
that the grass is greener.
694
00:35:45,485 --> 00:35:48,003
Well, I think he'll be
disillusioned.
695
00:35:48,005 --> 00:35:51,365
He's brought Alice's ashes
back with him.
696
00:35:52,725 --> 00:35:56,165
Cor, she's been dead ten years.
697
00:35:57,205 --> 00:35:59,563
Has he not scattered 'em
before now?
698
00:35:59,565 --> 00:36:02,523
He says she always wanted to come
back here, so he's brought her.
699
00:36:02,525 --> 00:36:06,043
He says he was born here,
and he'll die here.
700
00:36:06,045 --> 00:36:08,883
And then he wants him and
her to be buried together -
701
00:36:08,885 --> 00:36:11,923
their remains - up Blackley
702
00:36:11,925 --> 00:36:14,403
with me mum and dad,
and her mum and dad,
703
00:36:14,405 --> 00:36:16,365
and her sister.
704
00:36:18,325 --> 00:36:20,643
Oh, and, erm...
705
00:36:20,645 --> 00:36:22,123
What?
706
00:36:22,125 --> 00:36:24,965
I know it's a sensitive subject.
707
00:36:26,645 --> 00:36:28,005
But I've been offered that job.
708
00:36:29,045 --> 00:36:30,605
I start on Monday.
709
00:36:32,325 --> 00:36:34,565
I'm saying nothing.
710
00:36:35,885 --> 00:36:37,325
CUTLERY RATTLES
711
00:36:42,725 --> 00:36:46,005
KNOCK ON DOOR, DOG BARKS
712
00:36:49,565 --> 00:36:52,483
Ooh! It's the Mothership. I didn't
know you were coming!
713
00:36:52,485 --> 00:36:54,843
Yeah, cos I didn't ring an' tell
you, that's why.
714
00:36:54,845 --> 00:36:56,483
Love, light and peace.
715
00:36:56,485 --> 00:36:59,205
What's the matter with your
eye? Erm...
716
00:37:00,485 --> 00:37:01,963
We were drunk.
717
00:37:01,965 --> 00:37:04,123
Mm. Right, well, I've got someone
718
00:37:04,125 --> 00:37:05,643
coming round for dinner.
Smells good.
719
00:37:05,645 --> 00:37:07,203
Yeah, but the thing is, they'll be
here any minute, so...
720
00:37:07,205 --> 00:37:08,803
Oh, don't worry.
We're off over to Gillian's.
721
00:37:08,805 --> 00:37:09,923
We've got all the camping stuff.
722
00:37:09,925 --> 00:37:11,243
Just thought we'd come and say
howdy.
723
00:37:11,245 --> 00:37:14,203
Oh, well, that's very nice.
And can you lend me 30 quid?
724
00:37:14,205 --> 00:37:18,283
No, I can't. I've got no cash on
me. You people are useless.
725
00:37:18,285 --> 00:37:21,643
Hey! Hey, it's the little weirdo
from the planet Zog.
726
00:37:21,645 --> 00:37:25,363
Have you come to read to me? No.
Aw. I like it when you read to me.
727
00:37:25,365 --> 00:37:28,283
It's funnier than when
Mummy does it. Ah!
728
00:37:28,285 --> 00:37:29,643
Er, Ruth's here.
729
00:37:29,645 --> 00:37:33,483
What's he done to his face?
So, Ruth's here now.
730
00:37:33,485 --> 00:37:35,403
So, Angus got in a fight
with an orangutan.
731
00:37:35,405 --> 00:37:38,683
He didn't! Gillian's got a
giraffe! A what?
732
00:37:38,685 --> 00:37:40,485
A real one? Has she?
733
00:37:45,765 --> 00:37:47,003
Hi! Hi!
734
00:37:47,005 --> 00:37:48,363
Come in!
735
00:37:48,365 --> 00:37:49,923
Hi. Hi.
736
00:37:49,925 --> 00:37:51,203
Bye.
737
00:37:51,205 --> 00:37:53,285
Oh, sure.
738
00:37:55,445 --> 00:37:57,763
So this is Lawrence,
my, erm, my...
739
00:37:57,765 --> 00:38:00,723
Well, he was my youngest
until Flora came along.
740
00:38:00,725 --> 00:38:02,763
And then I've got another one
in London. That's William.
741
00:38:02,765 --> 00:38:04,723
He works for a publisher,
he's 24.
742
00:38:04,725 --> 00:38:07,363
Nice.
Judith's publisher, in fact.
743
00:38:07,365 --> 00:38:08,723
And this is Ruth.
744
00:38:08,725 --> 00:38:11,565
And this is Angus. He's...
745
00:38:13,125 --> 00:38:14,163
..got a black eye.
746
00:38:14,165 --> 00:38:16,125
And now they're off camping!
747
00:38:18,005 --> 00:38:20,523
See ya, boss.
748
00:38:20,525 --> 00:38:21,803
Bye.
749
00:38:21,805 --> 00:38:23,163
Bye, Mum. Bye.
750
00:38:23,165 --> 00:38:24,643
Bye. Bye, weirdo.
751
00:38:24,645 --> 00:38:25,843
Can I come?
752
00:38:25,845 --> 00:38:27,763
No. A real giraffe?
753
00:38:27,765 --> 00:38:30,323
No, you'll see when you get
there. Have fun!
754
00:38:30,325 --> 00:38:31,883
And don't irritate Gillian!
755
00:38:31,885 --> 00:38:35,045
She's...not very happy about
the giraffe.
756
00:38:36,085 --> 00:38:38,403
Seriously, someone has a real...?
No, no, no, it's...
757
00:38:38,405 --> 00:38:41,283
Actually, it's probably
not a Banksy.
758
00:38:41,285 --> 00:38:44,323
It's a painting, a mural that's
appeared on her barn wall.
759
00:38:44,325 --> 00:38:45,403
Wow.
760
00:38:45,405 --> 00:38:47,163
Won't be a real one. OK.
761
00:38:47,165 --> 00:38:49,605
Although it does look like one.
762
00:38:52,365 --> 00:38:53,683
These are for you.
763
00:38:53,685 --> 00:38:55,523
Ah.
764
00:38:55,525 --> 00:38:57,285
Thank you. Pleasure.
765
00:38:58,565 --> 00:39:00,325
So this is Flora?
766
00:39:01,445 --> 00:39:03,843
DOG WHIMPERS
But who's this?
767
00:39:03,845 --> 00:39:06,203
Ah, so that's...
768
00:39:06,205 --> 00:39:08,603
Ruth. Yes, that's...
769
00:39:08,605 --> 00:39:11,163
The dog's called Ruth, Ruth.
770
00:39:11,165 --> 00:39:12,403
Ruth?
771
00:39:12,405 --> 00:39:14,163
Sorry, I can explain.
772
00:39:14,165 --> 00:39:16,043
No.
773
00:39:16,045 --> 00:39:17,643
Erm...
774
00:39:17,645 --> 00:39:20,763
Listen, is it all right
if I leave my car here tonight
775
00:39:20,765 --> 00:39:24,845
and get a taxi home and then come
and pick it up tomorrow morning?
776
00:39:26,085 --> 00:39:28,083
It's just then I can have
a couple of glasses of wine
777
00:39:28,085 --> 00:39:30,083
and not worry about it.
778
00:39:30,085 --> 00:39:33,003
Er, yeah, course!
779
00:39:33,005 --> 00:39:35,965
You can stay over, if you like.
We've, erm...
780
00:39:37,645 --> 00:39:39,845
..plenty of room.
781
00:39:50,685 --> 00:39:55,963
Mm. Laura looked up
some wedding venues online.
782
00:39:55,965 --> 00:39:58,323
I mean, we could really go for
it if we wanted to.
783
00:39:58,325 --> 00:40:00,725
We could really push
the boat out.
784
00:40:01,925 --> 00:40:04,523
But I don't know that I wouldn't
like to just get married
785
00:40:04,525 --> 00:40:10,203
in some charmless, nondescript,
threadbare little registry office.
786
00:40:10,205 --> 00:40:11,245
Yes...
787
00:40:12,605 --> 00:40:14,363
Yes. Sure.
788
00:40:14,365 --> 00:40:15,883
Sure.
789
00:40:15,885 --> 00:40:20,443
It isn't like we've got millions of
people to invite, is it?
790
00:40:20,445 --> 00:40:21,885
PHONE BEEPS
791
00:40:28,205 --> 00:40:29,563
What's that?
792
00:40:29,565 --> 00:40:30,605
Oh.
793
00:40:31,685 --> 00:40:32,845
Lawrence.
794
00:40:35,085 --> 00:40:39,243
I just think something small
and discreet
795
00:40:39,245 --> 00:40:41,285
and a bit shit is just...
796
00:40:42,325 --> 00:40:43,843
..more us.
797
00:40:43,845 --> 00:40:45,125
Don't you?
798
00:40:47,045 --> 00:40:48,085
Yeah.
799
00:40:51,445 --> 00:40:55,763
And this is LAADS riding through the
West Riding of Yorkshire,
800
00:40:55,765 --> 00:40:58,083
trying to find Granny's
little gaff.
801
00:40:58,085 --> 00:40:59,643
And what does Riding mean, Angus?
802
00:40:59,645 --> 00:41:01,803
Will you get that out of my
face when I'm concentrating?
803
00:41:01,805 --> 00:41:03,203
Can you drive properly?
804
00:41:03,205 --> 00:41:04,323
This is properly.
805
00:41:04,325 --> 00:41:06,443
Yeah, I need smooth. Whoa!
806
00:41:06,445 --> 00:41:09,323
You nearly went into the
signpost, you fuckin' idiot!
807
00:41:09,325 --> 00:41:10,883
Well, stop being a tit.
808
00:41:10,885 --> 00:41:12,843
You're a tit. You're a tit.
809
00:41:12,845 --> 00:41:14,803
Which one is it?
Which one is what?
810
00:41:14,805 --> 00:41:16,723
House! Which house?
I don't know. It's the one
811
00:41:16,725 --> 00:41:17,883
with their car on the drive,
812
00:41:17,885 --> 00:41:20,123
I guess. Tell everyone
what Riding means, Angus.
813
00:41:20,125 --> 00:41:22,483
A third. It means a third.
814
00:41:22,485 --> 00:41:24,323
North, East, West.
815
00:41:24,325 --> 00:41:26,045
No South.
816
00:41:27,165 --> 00:41:28,363
Can you do it like you care?
817
00:41:28,365 --> 00:41:30,243
I don't care. It's not funny.
818
00:41:30,245 --> 00:41:31,363
Well, make it funny!
819
00:41:31,365 --> 00:41:33,283
It's not funny, it's not
interesting.
820
00:41:33,285 --> 00:41:35,083
West Riding.
821
00:41:35,085 --> 00:41:38,923
The West Riding of Yorkshire.
Oooh, it's this one!
822
00:41:38,925 --> 00:41:40,083
TYRES SQUEAL
823
00:41:40,085 --> 00:41:42,485
Mind the Lexus!
824
00:41:45,605 --> 00:41:47,403
Did you get that,
did you film that?
825
00:41:47,405 --> 00:41:48,925
That was good.
826
00:41:50,285 --> 00:41:51,605
Piss.
827
00:41:54,045 --> 00:41:56,923
CELIA: £30? Course you can,
chicken.
828
00:41:56,925 --> 00:41:58,525
Where have I put my purse?
829
00:42:03,805 --> 00:42:05,443
Well, where are you going
camping, lads?
830
00:42:05,445 --> 00:42:06,483
BOTH: Gillian's.
831
00:42:06,485 --> 00:42:07,525
Ah!
832
00:42:08,645 --> 00:42:10,483
There we are. Is that enough?
833
00:42:10,485 --> 00:42:12,203
Would you like a bit more?
No, Gran.
834
00:42:12,205 --> 00:42:16,445
No, go on, then, just....
How big's your tint?
835
00:42:20,445 --> 00:42:24,203
Oh, our tent! Our tent is,
erm...
836
00:42:24,205 --> 00:42:25,403
Big.
837
00:42:25,405 --> 00:42:27,365
It's big.
838
00:42:34,125 --> 00:42:37,603
My stars! Look at that!
What?
839
00:42:37,605 --> 00:42:38,763
Is that a what's-it?
840
00:42:38,765 --> 00:42:40,883
A what?
A thingy! That bloke.
841
00:42:40,885 --> 00:42:43,203
Oh, my God! What? What are you
looking at?
842
00:42:43,205 --> 00:42:45,443
Holy mole shit! This is one for
Instagram.
843
00:42:45,445 --> 00:42:46,483
BRAKES ENGAGE
844
00:42:46,485 --> 00:42:49,243
MIA AND ALYSSA SCREAM
Eyes on the road!
845
00:42:49,245 --> 00:42:50,803
MIA AND ALYSSA LAUGH
CAMERA CLICKS
846
00:42:50,805 --> 00:42:52,963
And they were both 75?
847
00:42:52,965 --> 00:42:55,443
They hadn't seen each other
for nearly 60 years.
848
00:42:55,445 --> 00:42:57,643
It was very romantic.
849
00:42:57,645 --> 00:42:59,563
Oh, there's hope for us all.
850
00:42:59,565 --> 00:43:01,243
Except the reality,
851
00:43:01,245 --> 00:43:02,963
when you haven't seen
anyone for that long,
852
00:43:02,965 --> 00:43:05,803
is that you don't really know
them. And what's become apparent
853
00:43:05,805 --> 00:43:07,203
is that they have very different
854
00:43:07,205 --> 00:43:09,683
views on things
sometimes and...
855
00:43:09,685 --> 00:43:11,363
Oh, I don't know.
856
00:43:11,365 --> 00:43:14,483
It was kind of funny to start
with, him with his Guardian
857
00:43:14,485 --> 00:43:16,723
and her with her Daily Mail.
858
00:43:16,725 --> 00:43:18,483
Can I...?
859
00:43:18,485 --> 00:43:20,003
Oh, sure, I'll get another one.
860
00:43:20,005 --> 00:43:21,923
It's like this morning.
861
00:43:21,925 --> 00:43:24,803
So my mother is worried
that he's fed up with her.
862
00:43:24,805 --> 00:43:28,643
And I'm all,
"Oh, Alan? Surely not!"
863
00:43:28,645 --> 00:43:32,363
Because we've all bought into
how marvellous it all is
864
00:43:32,365 --> 00:43:34,963
that two elderly people can fall in
love again after all this time,
865
00:43:34,965 --> 00:43:38,005
and yet the reality, seven
years on, is that...
866
00:43:39,205 --> 00:43:40,923
Well, for instance,
867
00:43:40,925 --> 00:43:42,683
he can't understand why anyone
868
00:43:42,685 --> 00:43:45,243
would want to spend £20,000 on
a new kitchen.
869
00:43:45,245 --> 00:43:46,763
And she can't understand
870
00:43:46,765 --> 00:43:50,483
why anyone would want to
spend anything less.
871
00:43:50,485 --> 00:43:52,883
Would you like to sit somewhere
more comfortable?
872
00:43:52,885 --> 00:43:54,165
Sure.
873
00:43:55,205 --> 00:43:57,843
But he goes along with it,
kind of because he has to,
874
00:43:57,845 --> 00:44:00,123
because - let's not mince words -
875
00:44:00,125 --> 00:44:03,683
she is a force to be reckoned
with, my mother.
876
00:44:03,685 --> 00:44:05,643
But sometimes I look at him,
877
00:44:05,645 --> 00:44:07,523
and he just looks...
878
00:44:07,525 --> 00:44:09,323
..bewildered
879
00:44:09,325 --> 00:44:11,603
and, erm...
880
00:44:11,605 --> 00:44:13,363
Oh, I don't know.
881
00:44:13,365 --> 00:44:15,685
Maybe sometimes he is fed
up of her.
882
00:44:22,365 --> 00:44:24,323
It'll be jet lag.
883
00:44:24,325 --> 00:44:26,363
Don't you think we should
wake him up
884
00:44:26,365 --> 00:44:27,883
so he can get into bed?
885
00:44:27,885 --> 00:44:30,243
I don't know -
he looks very comfortable.
886
00:44:30,245 --> 00:44:31,883
Does he know where his
bedroom is?
887
00:44:31,885 --> 00:44:33,923
Well, I showed him. Earlier.
888
00:44:33,925 --> 00:44:36,883
I don't want him waking in the
night, wondering where he is.
889
00:44:36,885 --> 00:44:38,683
Especially if he needs the
bathroom.
890
00:44:38,685 --> 00:44:41,563
Does he know where the bathroom is?
Yes. He went.
891
00:44:41,565 --> 00:44:44,003
When you both finally
decided to show up.
892
00:44:44,005 --> 00:44:47,325
I've explained why we were late.
893
00:44:49,765 --> 00:44:52,363
Give him a nudge.
894
00:44:52,365 --> 00:44:54,843
Ted? Mm?
895
00:44:54,845 --> 00:44:56,883
Ted?
896
00:44:56,885 --> 00:44:59,203
Ted! Oh, leave him.
897
00:44:59,205 --> 00:45:01,645
Let's leave the side light on.
He'll be all right.
898
00:45:03,085 --> 00:45:06,123
I wonder where Alice's ashes are.
Well, they'll be somewhere.
899
00:45:06,125 --> 00:45:07,603
No shit, Sherlock.
900
00:45:07,605 --> 00:45:10,883
Well, I imagine
they're in one of his suitcases.
901
00:45:10,885 --> 00:45:13,163
Should we get her out,
do you think?
902
00:45:13,165 --> 00:45:15,363
Put her somewhere...
More dignified?
903
00:45:15,365 --> 00:45:16,723
Less cramped.
904
00:45:16,725 --> 00:45:20,683
I don't know, I don't want
to be going through his stuff.
905
00:45:20,685 --> 00:45:23,363
Here, shall I put this blanket
over him?
906
00:45:23,365 --> 00:45:24,485
You can do.
907
00:45:26,125 --> 00:45:28,083
Eh, Ted.
908
00:45:28,085 --> 00:45:30,365
What have you been up to
this time, old lad?
909
00:45:35,925 --> 00:45:37,325
Are you all right?
910
00:45:39,125 --> 00:45:40,483
Alan?
911
00:45:40,485 --> 00:45:41,725
Yeah.
912
00:45:43,285 --> 00:45:45,603
Just remembering things.
913
00:45:45,605 --> 00:45:47,365
What things?
914
00:45:49,885 --> 00:45:51,525
Shall we get into bed?
915
00:45:56,005 --> 00:45:57,245
Hmm.
916
00:45:59,125 --> 00:46:02,805
He never wanted to go
to New Zealand in first place.
917
00:46:03,805 --> 00:46:06,643
It were my mother and dad...
made him go.
918
00:46:06,645 --> 00:46:08,243
Why?
919
00:46:08,245 --> 00:46:10,723
Well, she was pregnant. Alice.
920
00:46:10,725 --> 00:46:13,883
They'd only been together
five minutes.
921
00:46:13,885 --> 00:46:15,923
My mother and dad were livid.
922
00:46:15,925 --> 00:46:17,285
And her mother and dad!
923
00:46:18,365 --> 00:46:21,203
They wouldn't speak to her. They
wouldn't have her in the house.
924
00:46:21,205 --> 00:46:22,803
You're joking.
925
00:46:22,805 --> 00:46:26,723
Well, they thought
they were a bit of summat...
926
00:46:26,725 --> 00:46:28,043
..up at church.
927
00:46:28,045 --> 00:46:30,203
So...
928
00:46:30,205 --> 00:46:31,803
Oh, hell.
929
00:46:31,805 --> 00:46:37,483
I remember me dad and Ted
having a fight.
930
00:46:37,485 --> 00:46:41,565
A proper set-to -
shouting, me mother crying...
931
00:46:42,645 --> 00:46:46,683
It was when the government were
advertising for people to emigrate.
932
00:46:46,685 --> 00:46:49,363
They were desperate for people
to go over and build houses
933
00:46:49,365 --> 00:46:53,203
and dams and roads
and all sorts.
934
00:46:53,205 --> 00:46:57,803
There were a lot of incentives for
anybody that was short of work.
935
00:46:57,805 --> 00:46:58,843
I remember.
936
00:46:58,845 --> 00:47:00,323
Or...
937
00:47:00,325 --> 00:47:02,763
..needed to get away.
938
00:47:02,765 --> 00:47:04,605
So they got wed and off they went.
939
00:47:05,805 --> 00:47:07,123
They made the most of it,
940
00:47:07,125 --> 00:47:09,563
but he'd not have gone
through choice.
941
00:47:09,565 --> 00:47:13,363
And I think he felt
like they'd been banished.
942
00:47:13,365 --> 00:47:14,963
And it wasn't fair.
943
00:47:14,965 --> 00:47:17,923
They thought the world of
each other,
944
00:47:17,925 --> 00:47:20,643
and they shouldn't have been
made to feel like that.
945
00:47:20,645 --> 00:47:22,243
I never realised.
946
00:47:22,245 --> 00:47:25,163
When we visited him,
he's never said anything.
947
00:47:25,165 --> 00:47:28,843
Well, like I say,
I kind of forgot about it myself.
948
00:47:28,845 --> 00:47:32,963
But you get on with life, don't
you? Put a different spin on it,
949
00:47:32,965 --> 00:47:35,043
for your own sake.
950
00:47:35,045 --> 00:47:39,043
And then that becomes the truth.
951
00:47:39,045 --> 00:47:45,243
But it was when he said that he'd
brought her ashes with him...
952
00:47:45,245 --> 00:47:47,723
..it all came back to me.
953
00:47:47,725 --> 00:47:49,043
And it saddened me,
954
00:47:49,045 --> 00:47:52,483
the idea that all this time
955
00:47:52,485 --> 00:47:56,325
they never stopped wanting to
come back. And now they have.
956
00:47:57,645 --> 00:47:59,043
Only it's too late.
957
00:47:59,045 --> 00:48:00,525
She's dead, and he's...
958
00:48:03,925 --> 00:48:07,603
I do think he is losing it a bit.
959
00:48:07,605 --> 00:48:10,843
Oh, Alan.
I'll have to help him.
960
00:48:10,845 --> 00:48:13,285
Shan't I? Whatever's gone on.
961
00:48:15,165 --> 00:48:17,725
He's the only brother
I'll ever have.
962
00:48:20,605 --> 00:48:21,805
HE SIGHS
963
00:48:25,645 --> 00:48:26,845
No way!
964
00:48:28,445 --> 00:48:30,123
Yes! No...
965
00:48:30,125 --> 00:48:31,323
SHE CLEARS HER THROAT
966
00:48:31,325 --> 00:48:34,723
So I could say, "Judith,
967
00:48:34,725 --> 00:48:38,923
"tell us about the time you trashed
Caroline's kitchen
968
00:48:38,925 --> 00:48:42,003
"and then puked up behind
the stairs"?
969
00:48:42,005 --> 00:48:43,923
Yes, you could!
970
00:48:43,925 --> 00:48:45,563
SHE SIGHS
971
00:48:45,565 --> 00:48:48,123
It's possibly not a suitable
anecdote
972
00:48:48,125 --> 00:48:50,723
for her adoring
adolescent acolytes,
973
00:48:50,725 --> 00:48:53,803
but, wahey, who cares?
974
00:48:53,805 --> 00:48:57,203
Oh, God, and then the first
time I met her.
975
00:48:57,205 --> 00:48:59,723
Well, she fell over -
976
00:48:59,725 --> 00:49:03,483
she was pissed - on some glass, and
she slit an artery in her wrist,
977
00:49:03,485 --> 00:49:06,603
and I ended up in casualty with her.
And it was my birthday!
978
00:49:06,605 --> 00:49:08,203
And it was her glass!
979
00:49:08,205 --> 00:49:11,643
It was her bottle of wine
that she'd dropped!
980
00:49:11,645 --> 00:49:13,763
Oh, dear.
981
00:49:13,765 --> 00:49:16,125
Oh, she's a pisshead.
982
00:49:22,765 --> 00:49:26,163
I am glad you're telling me this.
983
00:49:26,165 --> 00:49:28,885
Cos it's making me realise
that she's just...
984
00:49:30,245 --> 00:49:32,203
..a bit rubbish.
985
00:49:32,205 --> 00:49:33,443
Like the rest of us.
986
00:49:33,445 --> 00:49:35,283
Yes, well...
987
00:49:35,285 --> 00:49:36,925
Yeah, she is.
988
00:49:38,405 --> 00:49:42,605
It'll mean I'm not mumbling
incoherently when I interview her.
989
00:49:43,965 --> 00:49:46,923
Right... How far have we got?
990
00:49:46,925 --> 00:49:52,723
Oh, fuck, I can't focus any
more. I'm too pissed.
991
00:49:52,725 --> 00:49:56,123
Well, we can... We'll pick it up
in the morning. It's fine.
992
00:49:56,125 --> 00:49:58,203
You'll be fine,
you've got loads.
993
00:49:58,205 --> 00:49:59,405
God.
994
00:50:00,925 --> 00:50:02,125
BOTH SIGH
995
00:50:04,685 --> 00:50:05,765
Are you all right?
996
00:50:07,245 --> 00:50:08,363
Yeah.
997
00:50:08,365 --> 00:50:09,803
SHE CHUCKLES
998
00:50:09,805 --> 00:50:13,645
Oh, God, it is just so nice...
999
00:50:14,685 --> 00:50:16,885
..not being in that house
with him.
1000
00:50:22,005 --> 00:50:23,523
Is it?
1001
00:50:23,525 --> 00:50:24,923
Yeah.
1002
00:50:24,925 --> 00:50:25,965
Mm.
1003
00:50:27,285 --> 00:50:28,965
Wow.
1004
00:50:36,125 --> 00:50:37,563
I'm going to be nosey.
1005
00:50:37,565 --> 00:50:38,963
Mm?
1006
00:50:38,965 --> 00:50:42,483
How does Flora fit into...?
1007
00:50:42,485 --> 00:50:45,405
Because she's not John's.
1008
00:50:50,085 --> 00:50:52,443
No. Oh, God, no.
1009
00:50:52,445 --> 00:50:55,083
So you had a fling with...?
1010
00:50:55,085 --> 00:50:57,883
Well, no. No, I didn't.
1011
00:50:57,885 --> 00:50:59,963
Erm... No. Flora's, erm...
1012
00:50:59,965 --> 00:51:01,643
Well, I kind of did.
1013
00:51:01,645 --> 00:51:04,765
So after John went off with
her, I, erm...
1014
00:51:06,365 --> 00:51:07,605
SHE SIGHS
1015
00:51:09,365 --> 00:51:10,923
I got married again.
1016
00:51:10,925 --> 00:51:12,243
OK.
1017
00:51:12,245 --> 00:51:13,645
To who?
1018
00:51:15,525 --> 00:51:17,723
To Kate.
1019
00:51:17,725 --> 00:51:19,005
And, er...
1020
00:51:20,245 --> 00:51:21,885
That's Kate.
1021
00:51:23,485 --> 00:51:24,685
There.
1022
00:51:29,645 --> 00:51:30,923
And...
1023
00:51:30,925 --> 00:51:34,085
..Kate wanted a baby, so...
1024
00:51:36,645 --> 00:51:39,245
We got pregnant.
Well, she did.
1025
00:51:40,245 --> 00:51:42,325
And then she was knocked
down...
1026
00:51:43,445 --> 00:51:44,845
..and killed.
1027
00:51:45,885 --> 00:51:47,523
She was pregnant -
eight and a half months.
1028
00:51:47,525 --> 00:51:50,323
They managed to save Flora,
but not her.
1029
00:51:50,325 --> 00:51:53,365
It happened the day after we
got married.
1030
00:51:54,485 --> 00:51:56,963
We got married on the Saturday.
That happened on the Sunday.
1031
00:51:56,965 --> 00:51:58,843
No...
1032
00:51:58,845 --> 00:52:00,325
Five years ago.
1033
00:52:03,165 --> 00:52:04,245
So you're...?
1034
00:52:06,885 --> 00:52:08,845
I didn't realise that you were...
1035
00:52:10,765 --> 00:52:12,403
Bereaved?
1036
00:52:12,405 --> 00:52:13,645
Gay.
1037
00:52:15,685 --> 00:52:16,765
Oh.
1038
00:52:19,285 --> 00:52:20,965
Oh, well, no!
1039
00:52:22,885 --> 00:52:25,285
Neither did I, but, er...
Well, I did.
1040
00:52:27,045 --> 00:52:29,845
I didn't advertise it,
particularly, but I've never...
1041
00:52:31,285 --> 00:52:34,363
..hidden it either. If I was with
someone, it would be more obvious,
1042
00:52:34,365 --> 00:52:36,523
but I'm not now, so...
1043
00:52:36,525 --> 00:52:37,645
Sorry, I thought you...
1044
00:52:38,725 --> 00:52:39,765
..did know.
1045
00:52:41,045 --> 00:52:42,845
Wow. Gosh.
1046
00:52:45,245 --> 00:52:48,685
That is a tragic thing
to have happened.
1047
00:52:50,645 --> 00:52:52,045
Mm.
1048
00:52:56,445 --> 00:52:57,685
I'm sorry.
1049
00:52:59,285 --> 00:53:01,885
Listen, I'm not feeling too good.
1050
00:53:03,445 --> 00:53:04,645
OK.
1051
00:53:05,845 --> 00:53:08,243
I think I've drunk too much.
1052
00:53:08,245 --> 00:53:10,605
I...I have drunk too much.
1053
00:53:12,165 --> 00:53:13,765
I might go to bed.
1054
00:53:14,805 --> 00:53:16,283
Sure.
1055
00:53:16,285 --> 00:53:17,365
It's, erm...
1056
00:53:20,045 --> 00:53:22,485
It's just at the top of the
stairs, far end.
1057
00:53:24,125 --> 00:53:25,965
Would you like some water? No.
1058
00:53:28,285 --> 00:53:30,963
Actually, why don't I ring
for a taxi?
1059
00:53:30,965 --> 00:53:32,443
Oh, you don't have to.
1060
00:53:32,445 --> 00:53:33,725
No, but...
1061
00:53:35,005 --> 00:53:38,083
Saturday night, you'd be lucky to
get one if you...
1062
00:53:38,085 --> 00:53:41,723
Well, if it hasn't been
booked. I had no idea.
1063
00:53:41,725 --> 00:53:43,723
Is it a problem?
1064
00:53:43,725 --> 00:53:46,045
No! God, no.
1065
00:53:47,085 --> 00:53:48,443
Why would it be?
1066
00:53:48,445 --> 00:53:49,525
No, just...
1067
00:53:50,645 --> 00:53:52,283
I just thought you knew.
1068
00:53:52,285 --> 00:53:53,445
No.
1069
00:53:54,845 --> 00:53:57,003
It's not why I invited you
here. Is that why you thought
1070
00:53:57,005 --> 00:53:59,083
I wanted to come here?
You thought that I'm...?
1071
00:53:59,085 --> 00:54:00,565
No!
1072
00:54:02,325 --> 00:54:03,485
No!
1073
00:54:09,085 --> 00:54:11,283
Why don't I make us some coffee?
1074
00:54:11,285 --> 00:54:12,525
Yeah.
1075
00:54:26,725 --> 00:54:28,085
RAIN DRIPS
1076
00:54:30,605 --> 00:54:32,925
THUNDER RUMBLES
1077
00:54:49,085 --> 00:54:50,245
Bastard.
1078
00:54:56,445 --> 00:54:58,965
GUNSHOT, ALL GASP
1079
00:55:01,005 --> 00:55:02,963
What was that?
1080
00:55:02,965 --> 00:55:04,885
Some dumb bastard shooting.
1081
00:55:10,965 --> 00:55:13,083
Morning. What you doing?
1082
00:55:13,085 --> 00:55:14,923
Foxes.
1083
00:55:14,925 --> 00:55:16,525
Pestering sheep.
1084
00:55:20,685 --> 00:55:23,725
Sleep OK?
MIA AND ALYSSA: No.
1085
00:55:24,925 --> 00:55:28,043
There's coffee and bacon on the go
in the kitchen if you're hungry.
1086
00:55:28,045 --> 00:55:29,085
Right.
1087
00:55:48,565 --> 00:55:50,483
BANGING
1088
00:55:50,485 --> 00:55:52,163
DOG WHIMPERS
1089
00:55:52,165 --> 00:55:53,765
DOG BARKS
1090
00:56:02,405 --> 00:56:03,765
SHE GROANS
1091
00:56:05,245 --> 00:56:06,485
DOOR CLOSES
1092
00:56:16,325 --> 00:56:17,685
Shit.
1093
00:56:44,965 --> 00:56:46,803
KNOCKS AT DOOR
1094
00:56:46,805 --> 00:56:48,603
Ted?
1095
00:56:48,605 --> 00:56:49,965
Would you like a cup of tea?
1096
00:57:08,805 --> 00:57:10,763
Where is he?
1097
00:57:10,765 --> 00:57:12,203
Who?
1098
00:57:12,205 --> 00:57:13,323
Is he outside?
1099
00:57:13,325 --> 00:57:15,523
Who? Ted!
1100
00:57:15,525 --> 00:57:17,163
I've no idea.
1101
00:57:17,165 --> 00:57:19,083
Did you open these doors?
1102
00:57:19,085 --> 00:57:21,163
No.
1103
00:57:21,165 --> 00:57:22,603
Where is he?
1104
00:57:22,605 --> 00:57:25,085
Where the hell is he?
1105
00:57:26,605 --> 00:57:28,285
Ted!
1106
00:57:29,365 --> 00:57:30,963
Ted!
1107
00:57:30,965 --> 00:57:32,805
THUNDER CRASHES, CELIA GASPS
1108
00:57:38,205 --> 00:57:42,043
Make it a fiver, and I'll make
sure nobody touches your car.
1109
00:57:42,045 --> 00:57:44,883
And I know you'd be upset
if it got scratched.
1110
00:57:44,885 --> 00:57:46,083
Well, ring the police.
1111
00:57:46,085 --> 00:57:49,203
Obviously, that's exactly
what needs to happen next.
1112
00:57:49,205 --> 00:57:53,203
You're 50-odd. I'm 38.
1113
00:57:53,205 --> 00:57:54,443
Look at yourself.
1114
00:57:54,445 --> 00:57:55,803
JOHN: Don't humiliate Caroline.
1115
00:57:55,805 --> 00:57:57,403
JUDITH: Don't tell me
how to behave.
1116
00:57:57,405 --> 00:58:01,243
When I saw John today, I realised
that I almost miss him.
1117
00:58:01,245 --> 00:58:03,083
Hello.
1118
00:58:03,085 --> 00:58:05,843
Fuck off! Sheep farming...
1119
00:58:05,845 --> 00:58:08,285
Just...don't...
127219
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