Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:25,734 --> 00:00:26,776
Shh.
2
00:00:26,944 --> 00:00:30,488
Be very, very quiet. I'm hunting rabbits.
3
00:00:36,954 --> 00:00:40,456
I am a duck bent on self-preservationum.
4
00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:46,128
Say your prayers, rabbit.
It's rabbit season.
5
00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:49,423
- Duck season.
- Rabbit season!
6
00:00:49,591 --> 00:00:51,884
- Duck season.
- Rabbit season!
7
00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:53,511
Rabbit season.
8
00:00:53,679 --> 00:00:54,720
Duck season! Fire!
9
00:01:00,769 --> 00:01:01,894
Fire!
10
00:01:07,442 --> 00:01:09,026
Hold everything.
11
00:01:09,194 --> 00:01:12,488
"Daffy gets blasted. " Mm-hm.
Page 7: "Daffy gets blasted. "
12
00:01:12,656 --> 00:01:16,075
Aha. Page 8: "Daffy gets blasted again!"
13
00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:20,037
What's the matter with you people?
We can't do this kind of stuff anymore.
14
00:01:20,205 --> 00:01:21,664
Brothers Warner...
15
00:01:21,832 --> 00:01:25,209
...show biz legends like me
shouldn't have to play stooge...
16
00:01:25,377 --> 00:01:28,212
...to that long-eared,
carrot-chomping, overbite-challenged...
17
00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:29,964
What's up, doc?
18
00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:34,218
Hey, Bobby, how's the wife?
19
00:01:34,386 --> 00:01:37,096
Great nose job, Chuck. Thanks, girls.
20
00:01:37,264 --> 00:01:39,849
Good rug, Mel. Never would have guessed.
21
00:01:40,475 --> 00:01:42,685
- Pardon me.
- The pleasure is mine.
22
00:01:42,853 --> 00:01:46,355
Fellas, I think Daff's right.
Maybe I'll take a vacation.
23
00:01:46,523 --> 00:01:48,899
Go visit my 542 nieces and nephews.
24
00:01:49,067 --> 00:01:50,901
Mr. Duck, excuse me, I'm sorry.
25
00:01:51,069 --> 00:01:55,156
I don't see how we can have
a Bugs Bunny movie without Bugs Bunny.
26
00:01:55,324 --> 00:01:56,699
Oh, my heavens, no.
27
00:01:56,867 --> 00:01:59,577
You couldn't have a movie
without Bugs Bunny.
28
00:01:59,745 --> 00:02:03,623
And if you don't mind me asking,
whose glorified personal assistant are you?
29
00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:06,292
Kate Houghton, Vice President, Comedy.
30
00:02:07,169 --> 00:02:08,669
Right.
31
00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:10,212
Kate did Lethal Weapon Babies.
32
00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:14,175
Finally, a Lethal Weapon
that I can take my grandchildren to.
33
00:02:14,343 --> 00:02:15,968
Um, gentlemen, check your phones.
34
00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:19,597
Our latest research shows
that Bugs Bunny is a core asset...
35
00:02:19,765 --> 00:02:23,976
...that appeals to male and female,
young and old throughout the universe...
36
00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:27,229
...while your fan base
is limited to angry fat guys in basements.
37
00:02:27,397 --> 00:02:32,109
Yeah, but... Come on, fellas,
I'm thrice the entertainer the rabbit is!
38
00:02:35,781 --> 00:02:37,031
Fine, he's hilarious...
39
00:02:37,199 --> 00:02:40,576
...but moviegoers these days
demand action heroes, like me!
40
00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:49,502
Top that, rabbit.
41
00:02:55,092 --> 00:02:57,218
So it has come to this, has it?
42
00:02:57,386 --> 00:02:59,929
I'm afraid
the Brothers Warner must choose...
43
00:03:00,097 --> 00:03:01,597
...between a handsome matinee idol...
44
00:03:01,765 --> 00:03:05,434
...or this miscreant perpetrator
of low burlesque.
45
00:03:07,604 --> 00:03:09,105
Whichever one's not the duck.
46
00:03:10,482 --> 00:03:13,150
Hey, that's the stuff from my office.
47
00:03:13,318 --> 00:03:15,277
You don't have one.
Not anymore.
48
00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:17,947
Symbolically, this is bad.
49
00:03:18,115 --> 00:03:20,282
Please, brother. Other brother?
50
00:03:20,826 --> 00:03:23,244
Icy she-wolf? Help me, please.
51
00:03:23,954 --> 00:03:26,205
I'm too moist and tender to retire.
52
00:03:26,498 --> 00:03:28,541
- Let me escort you out.
- Wait!
53
00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:31,335
I haven't tried toadying, kowtowing,
or butt-kissing yet.
54
00:03:31,503 --> 00:03:33,087
I'm still begging here!
55
00:03:36,299 --> 00:03:37,508
Freeze!
56
00:03:52,149 --> 00:03:53,232
Can I try that again?
57
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:56,861
No, thank you. We'll call you.
58
00:04:02,159 --> 00:04:04,660
- Sir.
- Hey, D.J. How did your tryout go?
59
00:04:04,828 --> 00:04:08,622
Well, let's see.
Uh, I can say I made an impression.
60
00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:11,876
Your father can get you a job
anytime he wants to.
61
00:04:12,043 --> 00:04:15,212
I know, but I don't want that.
I'd really rather earn it, sir.
62
00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:19,133
- Mr. Warner mentioned you this morning.
- He did? What did he say?
63
00:04:19,301 --> 00:04:21,886
He said don't forget the TurtleWax.
64
00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:25,806
What about animation?
I could do cartoons.
65
00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:27,099
Dead duck walking.
66
00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:28,851
- Morning, Mr. Bunny.
- Very hot now.
67
00:04:29,019 --> 00:04:30,186
And I do voices. Listen.
68
00:04:30,353 --> 00:04:31,437
- Excuse me.
Hmm?
69
00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:32,646
"Fetch the stick, boy. "
70
00:04:32,814 --> 00:04:33,856
"What a maroon. "
71
00:04:34,024 --> 00:04:35,816
"You can't handle the truth. "
72
00:04:35,984 --> 00:04:37,985
Unh. Some grip, lady.
73
00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:39,695
I need you to eject this duck.
74
00:04:40,739 --> 00:04:42,990
- Lady, this is Daffy Duck.
- Exactly.
75
00:04:43,158 --> 00:04:44,784
- Not anymore. We own the name.
- Oh, yeah?
76
00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:47,536
You can't stop me from calling myself...
77
00:04:48,079 --> 00:04:50,289
- What do you know?
- You fired Daffy Duck?
78
00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:53,417
No, I didn't. Well, I did. They did.
79
00:04:53,585 --> 00:04:55,377
You just were following orders.
80
00:04:56,505 --> 00:04:58,964
You know what? You don't know me.
81
00:04:59,883 --> 00:05:03,260
You're Kate Houghton,
you're the VP of Comedy. Go figure.
82
00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:07,640
You drive a red 1988 Alfa Romeo.
Good engine. Little under-driven.
83
00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:11,310
I know this
because you nearly ran me over last week.
84
00:05:11,895 --> 00:05:15,105
Anyway, um, about that duck,
you want me to get rid of him still?
85
00:05:15,273 --> 00:05:16,315
Hmm?
86
00:05:18,276 --> 00:05:20,402
- Duck, yes. Eject the duck, please.
- I can't do that.
87
00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:22,279
- Why not?
- He's gone.
88
00:05:27,786 --> 00:05:30,246
What are you waiting for, backup?
89
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:37,419
- Daffy!
Look, Mommy, there's Daffy.
90
00:05:37,587 --> 00:05:39,839
Shabby job so far, constable.
91
00:05:40,423 --> 00:05:42,007
Quick! After me!
92
00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:45,386
Now you're gonna pay for that one.
Come here!
93
00:05:45,554 --> 00:05:47,596
Dress Inspector!
Look out!
94
00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:49,640
One side, Spartacuses.
95
00:05:52,936 --> 00:05:55,020
Come on.
Daffy, stop!
96
00:05:55,438 --> 00:05:57,439
Cut him off at the pass, boys.
97
00:05:57,899 --> 00:06:00,776
All units in pursuit of little black duck.
98
00:06:06,283 --> 00:06:07,741
Well, that's just cheating.
99
00:06:09,119 --> 00:06:10,369
Daffy!
100
00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:11,912
Come here!
101
00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:14,164
Autumn in fake New York
102
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,674
Don't follow me.
103
00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:32,391
That's not right. Cut. Cut!
104
00:06:34,978 --> 00:06:36,937
That's lunch, everybody!
105
00:06:39,691 --> 00:06:42,693
That airbag cost a lot of money.
I'm okay. I'm okay.
106
00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:46,530
Good morning. Batman, you good?
107
00:06:46,698 --> 00:06:48,073
All right.
108
00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:50,451
My chariot awaits.
109
00:06:50,660 --> 00:06:51,952
Yes!
110
00:06:52,704 --> 00:06:54,872
Bat-lights. Bat-conditioning. Bat-stereo.
111
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:57,625
To the Duck Cave.
112
00:06:58,293 --> 00:06:59,793
- Now what are you doing?
- Hey.
113
00:06:59,961 --> 00:07:03,088
Stay away from that Batmobile!
- Come here.
114
00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:05,382
I'm allowed to steal. I'm a celebrity.
115
00:07:05,550 --> 00:07:07,051
Tell it to the judge!
116
00:07:08,011 --> 00:07:09,803
- Feeling pretty good about yourself?
- I am.
117
00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:15,267
- You bested that dastardly duck?
- I did.
118
00:07:16,811 --> 00:07:19,396
And now you're gonna offer your catch
to the pretty executive?
119
00:07:19,564 --> 00:07:20,731
Indeed.
120
00:07:22,817 --> 00:07:24,234
Miss Houghton!
121
00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:34,036
Get out of the way!
122
00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:40,751
Look out!
123
00:07:52,931 --> 00:07:55,474
Hey, what do you know? I found Nemo.
124
00:08:00,522 --> 00:08:02,398
I think she likes you.
125
00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:06,652
Oops.
126
00:08:11,574 --> 00:08:14,326
Your father would be so ashamed of you.
127
00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:33,971
But I was... It was...
128
00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:41,687
At first, they told me to lose the stutter.
Now they tell me I'm not funny.
129
00:08:43,064 --> 00:08:45,899
It's a pain in the butt
being politically correct.
130
00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:47,735
You're telling me.
131
00:08:48,319 --> 00:08:50,320
What kind of performance
do you call that?
132
00:08:50,488 --> 00:08:53,449
You made me sound
like a total space cadet, man.
133
00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:57,578
I'm sorry you feel that way.
I was trying to be real to your character.
134
00:08:57,746 --> 00:09:00,706
If you, like, goof on me in the sequel,
I'm coming after you.
135
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:04,168
Yeah, and I'll give you a Scooby Snack!
136
00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:07,796
There are some areas of the script
I think we need to address.
137
00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:11,133
There's no heart, no cooperation,
nobody learns anything.
138
00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:13,844
Daffy learns not to stick his head
in a jet engine.
139
00:09:14,012 --> 00:09:16,722
- He's gone.
- No, Daffy always comes back.
140
00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:18,682
I just tell him how much I need him.
141
00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:21,727
We hug, we cry,
I drop something heavy on him, I laugh.
142
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:24,688
The duck is history, okay?
So the question is...
143
00:09:24,856 --> 00:09:28,859
...how can I help you
reposition your brand identity?
144
00:09:29,652 --> 00:09:33,489
Answer: We team you up
with a hot female co-star.
145
00:09:33,656 --> 00:09:35,032
Usually...
146
00:09:35,325 --> 00:09:37,659
...I play the female love interest.
147
00:09:37,827 --> 00:09:39,995
Hello, my baby
Hello, my honey
148
00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:44,500
About the cross-dressing thing?
In the past, funny. Today, disturbing.
149
00:09:44,793 --> 00:09:47,753
Lady, if you don't
find a rabbit with lipstick amusing...
150
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:50,047
...you and I have
nothing to say to each other.
151
00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:52,758
Look, I'm trying to be nice...
152
00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:55,511
...but I was brought in
to leverage your synergy...
153
00:09:55,678 --> 00:09:58,388
...and I am not going to let you
or some wacky duck...
154
00:09:58,556 --> 00:09:59,598
Daffy.
155
00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:03,227
Wacky, daffy, nutty, fruitcake,
crispy over rice, it doesn't matter.
156
00:10:03,394 --> 00:10:05,187
Well, these matter.
157
00:10:05,688 --> 00:10:07,106
And this.
158
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:11,110
And they say we get Daffy back.
Right, boys?
159
00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:13,278
- We want Daffy!
- Bring him back!
160
00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:14,696
We love Daffy!
161
00:10:20,662 --> 00:10:21,870
Little Damian.
162
00:10:22,831 --> 00:10:24,289
Hey, Granny.
163
00:10:24,999 --> 00:10:26,125
Hi, Tweety.
164
00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:27,751
How was work today?
165
00:10:29,087 --> 00:10:30,379
Eventful.
166
00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:32,756
What a nice young man.
167
00:10:50,108 --> 00:10:52,442
Guess who? So did you miss me?
168
00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:58,448
- Hey.
- I'm glad I was fired.
169
00:10:58,616 --> 00:11:01,410
In a few days,
they'll be kissing my befeathered rump...
170
00:11:01,578 --> 00:11:03,370
...begging me to come back. But I won't.
171
00:11:03,538 --> 00:11:05,539
Did I miss the part where I invited you in?
172
00:11:05,707 --> 00:11:08,500
I'll be too busy accepting numerous,
multiple offers.
173
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:11,795
Every studio in town will... Hey.
174
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:16,508
Who am I kidding? My career is over.
175
00:11:17,302 --> 00:11:19,469
Perhaps I was being too polite. Get out!
176
00:11:19,637 --> 00:11:22,306
I'll starve. I'll have to eat envelope glue.
177
00:11:22,473 --> 00:11:23,849
Wait, a sushi bar.
178
00:11:25,643 --> 00:11:26,935
No!
179
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:33,942
- Daffy.
- Yes.
180
00:11:34,819 --> 00:11:37,070
Leave my father's house. Now.
181
00:11:42,076 --> 00:11:43,952
You live with Daddy?
182
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:47,456
Yeah, so?
Just, you know, kind of temporarily.
183
00:11:47,624 --> 00:11:49,750
I've hit rock bottom.
184
00:11:49,918 --> 00:11:53,962
I'm hanging out with a security guard
who lives with his father.
185
00:11:55,882 --> 00:11:59,760
My grease and gravy!
Your dad is Damian Drake.
186
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:03,889
- The super spy.
- He's an actor who plays a spy.
187
00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:08,644
- And that? That was his I Spy Award.
- Ingenious.
188
00:12:08,811 --> 00:12:13,857
An actor playing a super spy as a cover
for being a super spy playing an actor.
189
00:12:14,025 --> 00:12:16,777
In fact, I'll bet this whole dump
is a super spy lair.
190
00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:18,403
Nothing is as it seems.
191
00:12:19,405 --> 00:12:23,450
You know, you're probably protected by
an invisible force field right this minute.
192
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:27,454
Aha! The force field-penetrating apple.
193
00:12:27,622 --> 00:12:29,748
Just feel free to continue
your delusional ranting...
194
00:12:31,125 --> 00:12:32,167
...while I answer my...
195
00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:35,128
Remote?
196
00:12:38,508 --> 00:12:39,716
Hello?
197
00:12:41,803 --> 00:12:42,844
Hmm.
198
00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:53,563
- Son?
Dad?
199
00:12:54,482 --> 00:12:56,400
What are you doing in the painting?
200
00:12:56,567 --> 00:12:59,403
I wanted to keep you out of this,
but there's no one else I can trust.
201
00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:02,281
There he is. Stop him!
- Can you hold on a second?
202
00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:05,367
Are you shooting a movie or something?
203
00:13:05,535 --> 00:13:07,411
A new Damian Drake movie? Cool.
204
00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:09,538
Come to Las Vegas.
205
00:13:12,250 --> 00:13:15,127
Ask Dusty Tails for the Blue Monkey.
206
00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:17,129
The Blue Monkey? What's a Blue Monkey?
207
00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:19,965
A diamond. A very special diamond.
208
00:13:20,508 --> 00:13:21,591
Find Dusty Tails.
209
00:13:22,969 --> 00:13:24,052
Hey!
210
00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:27,306
Dad, you need me
to call the police or something?
211
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:28,682
Uh-oh.
212
00:13:30,059 --> 00:13:31,935
- No. No police.
- Dad, are you all right?
213
00:13:32,103 --> 00:13:34,229
I'm sorry I never told you this before,
but I...
214
00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:41,361
- Dad?
- Diamond? I'm rich!
215
00:13:45,408 --> 00:13:48,535
- I've joined the leisure class.
- I gotta go save my dad.
216
00:13:48,703 --> 00:13:52,581
Oh, yeah. Your dad, yeah.
So count me in. A spy caper.
217
00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:56,752
Double agents, exploding bikinis,
tigers hanging from helicopters!
218
00:13:56,961 --> 00:13:58,837
I'm through with show biz!
219
00:13:59,005 --> 00:14:01,089
From now on,
I'm gonna live the adventure.
220
00:14:01,257 --> 00:14:03,884
- Next stop, Las Vegas.
I'Il take my dad's old car.
221
00:14:04,052 --> 00:14:07,971
Ah, a super spy car. Let's ride.
This isn't a spy car.
222
00:14:08,139 --> 00:14:12,017
Heh. Your dad is a spy. Ipso ergo, a spy car.
223
00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:14,644
I used to deliver pizzas in this car.
224
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:17,439
Secret pizzas?
225
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:18,732
A spy pie, maybe?
226
00:14:20,818 --> 00:14:23,695
Fine, be that way.
But it's definitely a spy car!
227
00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:25,322
A little help here?
228
00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:28,158
Ducks.
229
00:14:35,625 --> 00:14:36,666
- Hey.
- Aah!
230
00:14:36,834 --> 00:14:38,919
You know how I know it's a spy car?
231
00:14:39,087 --> 00:14:42,381
Because it looks
absolutely nothing like a spy car.
232
00:14:58,815 --> 00:15:02,651
I don't think this routine
is gonna work without Daffy, but, uh...
233
00:15:02,819 --> 00:15:03,860
Action.
234
00:15:04,028 --> 00:15:06,571
Say your prayers, rabbit.
It's rabbit season.
235
00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:09,157
- Duck season.
- Rabbit season.
236
00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:11,284
- Duck season.
- Rabbit season.
237
00:15:11,494 --> 00:15:14,162
- Rabbit season.
- Wait a minute.
238
00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:16,456
See, I told you
this wasn't gonna work without...
239
00:15:18,292 --> 00:15:19,418
Can we do another take, please?
240
00:15:19,585 --> 00:15:23,213
Oh, pain. Oh, agony!
241
00:15:23,381 --> 00:15:25,090
- Ahh.
- You're fired.
242
00:15:26,217 --> 00:15:27,384
What?
243
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:30,762
- But you...
- You got rid of our best duck.
244
00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:35,392
You can't fire me.
245
00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:38,812
My films have made $950 million!
246
00:15:38,980 --> 00:15:41,731
- That's not a billion.
- Nope. Not a billion.
247
00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:43,358
Okay.
248
00:15:45,695 --> 00:15:47,028
All right.
249
00:15:47,363 --> 00:15:51,533
I think we can all agree that the decision
to get rid of Daffy was a poor one.
250
00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:52,742
But it's time to move on.
251
00:15:52,910 --> 00:15:56,663
And by move on, I mean reversing course
and getting Daffy back.
252
00:15:56,831 --> 00:15:58,457
By Monday.
253
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:02,419
I will have Daffy back on Monday.
254
00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:05,964
That went well.
255
00:16:06,132 --> 00:16:11,094
Listen, doll face, if I know Daffy,
he's already hit the road by now.
256
00:16:16,559 --> 00:16:19,060
Ah, it's good to stretch.
257
00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:21,480
I'm getting really tired
of throwing you out of the car.
258
00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:23,899
That's my plan in a nutshell. Ha, ha.
259
00:16:24,066 --> 00:16:27,652
Now, listen, if we run into anything
that requires super spy skills...
260
00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:30,989
...like cracking wise, smooching dames,
you better leave that to me.
261
00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:34,576
However, if we have
any security guarding needs...
262
00:16:34,869 --> 00:16:37,662
Very funny, duck. I'm not a security guard.
263
00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:40,540
For your information, it's just a job.
It's what I do for money.
264
00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:43,293
- Mm-hm.
- What I really do is...
265
00:16:44,295 --> 00:16:45,587
- I'm a stuntman.
- Ha!
266
00:16:45,755 --> 00:16:48,173
- You? A stuntman? Please.
- I am!
267
00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:52,177
Did you see those Mummy movies?
I'm in them more than Brendan Fraser is.
268
00:16:53,596 --> 00:16:55,222
No, he couldn't stand that.
269
00:16:55,389 --> 00:16:59,100
One day he decides that, "No, no, no!
The Bren-master does all his own stunts!"
270
00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:02,354
Listen, muscles, if this heap ever makes it
to Vegas, I'll do all the stunts.
271
00:17:03,731 --> 00:17:04,814
Duck here.
272
00:17:04,982 --> 00:17:08,401
- Daffy, old chum, how the heck...
- Cram it down your rabbit hole.
273
00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:12,531
I think I can get you your old job back
with less of a pay cut than usual.
274
00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:14,115
So not interested.
275
00:17:14,283 --> 00:17:17,327
I'm off to Las Vegas
with my new sidekick D.J...
276
00:17:17,495 --> 00:17:19,829
...to match wits with spies and showgirls.
277
00:17:19,997 --> 00:17:21,831
It's a little adventure I call:
278
00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:24,709
"Daffy Duck's Quest for the Blue Monkey. "
279
00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:26,795
And you're not in it.
280
00:17:28,798 --> 00:17:30,298
Blue Monkey?
281
00:17:43,479 --> 00:17:44,771
Blue Monkey?
282
00:17:47,108 --> 00:17:48,858
It's a little adventure I call:
283
00:17:49,026 --> 00:17:51,945
"Daffy Duck's Quest for the Blue Monkey. "
284
00:18:05,710 --> 00:18:07,419
This is unacceptable!
285
00:18:11,048 --> 00:18:15,010
We cannot have 9-year-olds working
in sweatshops making ACME sneakers...
286
00:18:15,177 --> 00:18:18,221
...not when 3-year-olds
work for so much less.
287
00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:22,434
- Yes.
- But, sir, they require naps.
288
00:18:23,311 --> 00:18:26,271
Put double espresso in their sippy cups.
289
00:18:29,191 --> 00:18:30,775
What's next on the agenda?
290
00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:34,279
Where's my people? What's coming up?
What's the next thing? Aah!
291
00:18:37,992 --> 00:18:39,576
Thank you, Bob.
292
00:18:40,202 --> 00:18:41,911
Grave news, my friends.
293
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:44,998
Direct your attention to the video screen.
294
00:18:48,669 --> 00:18:51,755
Cable, input, VCR, satellite.
295
00:18:52,006 --> 00:18:54,549
I love to sing-a
About the moon-a and the...
296
00:18:54,717 --> 00:18:58,595
Input, satellite,
tape, menu, rewind...
297
00:18:58,763 --> 00:19:00,305
...power, on.
298
00:19:02,224 --> 00:19:07,187
Well, it seems that Damian Drake's son
knows about the Blue Monkey...
299
00:19:07,355 --> 00:19:09,564
...and he is on his way to Las Vegas.
300
00:19:10,691 --> 00:19:14,069
He must not find the location
of the diamond before we do.
301
00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:17,030
How is the interrogation going?
302
00:19:22,703 --> 00:19:24,788
He's about ready to crack, boss!
303
00:19:31,379 --> 00:19:34,798
Cable, input, VCR and satellite, off.
304
00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:37,676
We cannot let the good guys
win this time, people.
305
00:19:37,843 --> 00:19:39,803
We must capture this son of a spy...
306
00:19:39,970 --> 00:19:41,429
...and we must locate the diamond...
307
00:19:41,597 --> 00:19:44,349
...and use its powers
for our own diabolical ends!
308
00:19:48,354 --> 00:19:50,730
- Copy that to all departments.
- I didn't quite get that.
309
00:19:50,898 --> 00:19:52,315
Didn't quite...
310
00:19:52,483 --> 00:19:55,068
Uh, something about
capturing the son of a spy...
311
00:19:55,236 --> 00:19:57,737
...and using the diamond's power
for our diabolical ends.
312
00:19:57,905 --> 00:20:00,657
Be sure and use the laugh.
I like the laugh. Don't you?
313
00:20:00,825 --> 00:20:02,701
- And what is your name?
- Mary.
314
00:20:02,868 --> 00:20:04,327
Well, Mary...
315
00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:08,039
...how'd you like to do a little kissing later?
316
00:20:10,292 --> 00:20:12,836
That's what they all say at first.
317
00:20:14,130 --> 00:20:17,716
Soon the ACME Corporation
will tower over all of creation!
318
00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:19,342
All of creation!
319
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:25,306
ACME.
ACME.
320
00:20:25,474 --> 00:20:27,058
ACME.
ACME.
321
00:20:30,187 --> 00:20:31,563
Wait a minute.
322
00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:36,109
- Yes?
- What about the duck?
323
00:20:42,491 --> 00:20:44,659
Extra crispy.
324
00:20:55,796 --> 00:20:57,130
Hello?
325
00:21:04,180 --> 00:21:06,014
Hello.
326
00:21:11,395 --> 00:21:13,271
Hello?
327
00:21:13,606 --> 00:21:16,691
D.J., I'm not here to fire you again.
328
00:21:16,859 --> 00:21:20,779
I just want to know
if that duck told you where he was going.
329
00:22:11,247 --> 00:22:15,250
- Doesn't anyone knock anymore?
Why are you torturing me?
330
00:22:15,417 --> 00:22:17,877
What have I ever done that...
331
00:22:21,507 --> 00:22:22,674
Great.
332
00:22:23,300 --> 00:22:26,177
I just fired the son of our biggest star.
333
00:22:29,348 --> 00:22:32,183
This has been a career-making day, Kate.
334
00:22:32,351 --> 00:22:34,769
First you get rid of the duck
that everybody hates...
335
00:22:34,937 --> 00:22:37,689
...but then, of course,
they all want him back.
336
00:22:38,566 --> 00:22:42,443
And worst of all,
you get into a big fight with Bugs Bunny...
337
00:22:42,611 --> 00:22:47,031
...who you revere and who you've tried
to model your life after.
338
00:22:47,950 --> 00:22:51,202
Oh, I hate to see a grown man cry.
339
00:22:51,620 --> 00:22:52,829
Especially when it's a girl.
340
00:22:54,331 --> 00:22:56,499
Listen, toots,
would it stop the waterworks...
341
00:22:56,667 --> 00:23:00,545
...if I told you Daffy was going to Las Vegas
with that guy D.J.?
342
00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:04,257
It might.
343
00:23:04,466 --> 00:23:08,595
Well, then,
how's about we travel in style in this?
344
00:23:12,516 --> 00:23:14,517
Las Vegas, Jeeves.
345
00:23:15,644 --> 00:23:17,478
Taking you to Las Vegas.
346
00:23:34,121 --> 00:23:39,876
Bright light city gonna set my soul
Gonna set my soul on fire
347
00:23:40,252 --> 00:23:46,633
Got a whole lot of money that's ready to burn
So get those stakes up higher
348
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:50,053
So Viva Las Vegas
349
00:23:50,596 --> 00:23:54,057
Viva Las Vegas
350
00:23:54,224 --> 00:23:58,394
Viva
Viva Las Vegas
351
00:24:01,649 --> 00:24:03,983
You've got no music in your soul, sister.
352
00:24:04,151 --> 00:24:06,444
I am aware of that, yes.
353
00:24:07,821 --> 00:24:10,531
He sure went for all the extras.
What a maroon.
354
00:24:10,699 --> 00:24:12,992
Don't touch anything.
This is Damian Drake's car...
355
00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:15,578
- Let's see.
- No!
356
00:24:20,751 --> 00:24:22,669
What does this one do?
357
00:24:26,757 --> 00:24:28,841
Shaken, not stirred, sir.
358
00:24:30,010 --> 00:24:31,844
It's 5:00 somewhere.
359
00:24:32,012 --> 00:24:36,015
- If you touch one more thing...
- Shh. I'm about to defy you.
360
00:24:38,602 --> 00:24:40,395
Now you done it.
Arms at your side, please.
361
00:24:49,780 --> 00:24:51,447
Formalwear activated.
362
00:24:51,615 --> 00:24:54,158
Enh, you clean up nice, kid.
363
00:24:54,785 --> 00:24:57,036
- Oh, no!
So...
364
00:24:57,204 --> 00:24:58,830
Viva
365
00:24:58,998 --> 00:25:03,001
Viva Las Vegas
366
00:25:06,046 --> 00:25:08,131
Woo-hoo! Las Vegas!
367
00:25:28,569 --> 00:25:29,736
Smell that, D.J.?
368
00:25:29,903 --> 00:25:32,280
That's the sweet aroma
of money, glamour...
369
00:25:32,448 --> 00:25:35,199
...and busload upon busload
of senior citizens.
370
00:25:35,367 --> 00:25:36,826
Cool it, duck
This could be dangerous.
371
00:25:36,994 --> 00:25:40,872
Right, we find Dusty Tails,
save your dad, get the diamond...
372
00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:43,374
...apply kung fu liberally as needed.
373
00:25:47,337 --> 00:25:49,297
Under no circumstances
are you to allow...
374
00:25:49,465 --> 00:25:52,842
...the young Mr. Drake and his duck cohort
out of the casino in one piece.
375
00:25:53,010 --> 00:25:54,761
- Is that clear?
- Okay.
376
00:25:54,928 --> 00:25:57,597
You want the varmints
and what they come for.
377
00:25:57,765 --> 00:26:01,601
I got you. But what's in it for old Sam?
378
00:26:11,487 --> 00:26:13,237
I got you.
379
00:26:17,117 --> 00:26:20,870
Did you know that Dusty Tails sang the
theme song to six Damian Drake movies?
380
00:26:21,038 --> 00:26:22,080
I know. He's my father.
381
00:26:22,247 --> 00:26:24,165
- Your dad is Damian Drake?
- Yes!
382
00:26:24,333 --> 00:26:26,167
I'm kidding, relax. We did that.
383
00:26:27,127 --> 00:26:29,337
I say, listen up, y'all.
384
00:26:29,505 --> 00:26:32,757
Please put your greasy,
buffet-shoveling hands together...
385
00:26:32,925 --> 00:26:34,300
...for our next act.
386
00:26:34,468 --> 00:26:37,553
If you've heard her before,
you're not here now.
387
00:26:37,721 --> 00:26:39,555
So, I say, let me introduce you...
388
00:26:39,723 --> 00:26:42,558
...to Miss Dusty Tails.
389
00:26:45,813 --> 00:26:50,608
Ifyou want it to be good, boy
Get yourself a bad girl
390
00:26:57,699 --> 00:27:02,370
If you want it to be wild
Gotta know just who to dial, baby
391
00:27:03,997 --> 00:27:05,164
That's me
392
00:27:06,083 --> 00:27:10,753
If you really like it hot
Get someone who hits the spot, honey
393
00:27:12,464 --> 00:27:13,840
Oh, yeah
394
00:27:17,010 --> 00:27:20,054
Hey. Dusty! Hey. Dusty.
395
00:27:20,806 --> 00:27:23,015
Dusty, can I talk to you?
396
00:27:23,183 --> 00:27:24,600
Dusty.
397
00:27:26,186 --> 00:27:30,231
Then get yourself a bad girl
Bad girl
398
00:27:30,399 --> 00:27:31,816
If you really want it...
399
00:27:31,984 --> 00:27:33,067
What the...?
400
00:27:33,235 --> 00:27:35,570
Get yourself a bad girl
401
00:27:36,155 --> 00:27:38,447
Bad girl
A bad girl
402
00:27:38,615 --> 00:27:41,534
Get it like you could, baby
403
00:27:41,702 --> 00:27:43,161
What?
404
00:27:43,912 --> 00:27:46,080
Dusty, I gotta talk to you.
405
00:27:46,748 --> 00:27:49,500
I'm Damian Drake's son, D.J.
What?
406
00:27:51,128 --> 00:27:53,129
How do I know it's you?
407
00:27:54,631 --> 00:27:56,716
Oh. You are Damian's son.
408
00:27:56,884 --> 00:27:58,968
Is there someplace we can talk?
409
00:28:00,429 --> 00:28:04,473
- Excuse me, I have to change.
- Okay, toots, hand over the diamond.
410
00:28:04,641 --> 00:28:07,059
- He brought a goose?
- It's duck, thank you.
411
00:28:07,227 --> 00:28:10,021
- Uh, hi, uh...
- You again.
412
00:28:10,189 --> 00:28:12,064
Listen up, you darn imbeciles!
413
00:28:12,232 --> 00:28:14,400
We gotta get them varmints
and what they come for!
414
00:28:14,568 --> 00:28:17,945
- And then we blast them?
- Then we blast them.
415
00:28:18,113 --> 00:28:21,157
Now if I were a giant diamond,
where would I be? Ow.
416
00:28:21,325 --> 00:28:22,867
- Well, not there.
So...
417
00:28:23,869 --> 00:28:25,786
- ... my, uh, dad's in trouble...
- Not here.
418
00:28:25,954 --> 00:28:29,373
...and, uh, he said that
I should ask you about the Blue Monkey.
419
00:28:30,167 --> 00:28:32,710
- So then you know?
- Definitely. Yes.
420
00:28:32,878 --> 00:28:35,796
I figured something must have happened
when he didn't show up.
421
00:28:35,964 --> 00:28:38,132
I'm sorry,
but that's what comes with being a spy.
422
00:28:38,300 --> 00:28:42,929
So you're, um, a spy too?
423
00:28:43,096 --> 00:28:46,474
Heh. The pop diva thing?
That's just one side of me.
424
00:28:46,642 --> 00:28:49,435
I also work for the Agency.
Professional assassin.
425
00:28:49,603 --> 00:28:51,646
It's really hard
trying to juggle the two sometimes.
426
00:28:51,813 --> 00:28:54,357
I don't know what I'm gonna do
when I have kids.
427
00:28:54,524 --> 00:28:57,443
Do you know how hard it is to find a nanny
with advanced weapons training?
428
00:28:58,987 --> 00:29:02,198
Woo-hoo. How many galoshes died
to make that little number?
429
00:29:02,366 --> 00:29:03,991
What about this Blue Monkey?
430
00:29:04,159 --> 00:29:08,079
Your father was assigned to track it down
before the chairman could.
431
00:29:08,247 --> 00:29:10,581
The diamond has supernatural powers.
432
00:29:10,749 --> 00:29:13,501
It would be a disaster
if it fell into the wrong hands.
433
00:29:13,669 --> 00:29:16,379
I was supposed to give him this.
434
00:29:16,546 --> 00:29:20,508
This is not a king-sized diamond.
This is a queen of diamonds.
435
00:29:20,676 --> 00:29:23,094
What kind of sick joke is this?
436
00:29:23,262 --> 00:29:25,054
- Can I have that?
Very funny.
437
00:29:25,222 --> 00:29:26,889
That is so sweet.
438
00:29:27,057 --> 00:29:29,350
You trying to take over for your father.
439
00:29:29,518 --> 00:29:31,686
These evil forces? They're bad people.
440
00:29:31,853 --> 00:29:34,939
Relax, sister. I don't know
the meaning of the word "fear. "
441
00:29:35,107 --> 00:29:36,524
Say your prayers, duck!
442
00:29:36,692 --> 00:29:38,693
Fear: noun. A state of terror. Aah!
443
00:29:38,860 --> 00:29:40,611
Incoming!
444
00:29:51,123 --> 00:29:53,541
This mission
needs years of experience and training.
445
00:29:53,709 --> 00:29:56,961
Maybe. I ain't got time for that right now.
I gotta go save my dad.
446
00:29:57,129 --> 00:29:58,838
Don't lose that card. It's important.
447
00:29:59,006 --> 00:30:00,965
After him, boys!
448
00:30:17,816 --> 00:30:19,525
Easy on the feathers.
449
00:30:19,693 --> 00:30:23,195
Come back here, you card-carrying coyotes!
450
00:30:24,948 --> 00:30:27,408
Dadburn slapstick clich�!
451
00:30:28,035 --> 00:30:31,704
Faster! Climb like my life depended on it.
452
00:30:34,624 --> 00:30:35,916
You run, I'll steer.
453
00:30:36,084 --> 00:30:40,296
- Right! I mean, left. Your other left.
- Daffy!
454
00:30:44,176 --> 00:30:46,260
That's what I'm talking about!
455
00:30:48,180 --> 00:30:49,221
Is that all you got?
456
00:30:51,099 --> 00:30:53,225
That's gonna leave a mark.
457
00:30:55,937 --> 00:30:58,105
That's not boxing. Bite his ear!
458
00:31:01,234 --> 00:31:04,403
Left and a right and a left and a right-left!
459
00:31:07,366 --> 00:31:09,283
I'm gonna come up on you.
460
00:31:18,085 --> 00:31:20,336
I'll take that playing card.
461
00:31:27,969 --> 00:31:30,096
- After it, stunt boy.
- Man.
462
00:31:30,263 --> 00:31:31,889
Jump. Jump!
463
00:31:50,575 --> 00:31:52,952
All right, I say,
place your bets, gentlemen.
464
00:31:53,120 --> 00:31:56,497
Money plays, loser stays.
Everyone's a winner... Well, not everyone.
465
00:31:56,665 --> 00:31:59,208
Here's my money. Now play.
466
00:31:59,376 --> 00:32:01,419
- Card, sir?
- Hit me.
467
00:32:01,586 --> 00:32:04,171
Don't you want to
look at your cards first, son?
468
00:32:04,339 --> 00:32:07,049
Boy's about as sharp as a bowling ball.
469
00:32:07,217 --> 00:32:09,718
Hit me.
- No, hit me first!
470
00:32:09,886 --> 00:32:11,887
I said await your turn, sir.
471
00:32:12,055 --> 00:32:13,097
Hit me.
472
00:32:14,057 --> 00:32:15,349
Hit me.
473
00:32:15,517 --> 00:32:17,143
Hit me. Hit me.
474
00:32:17,310 --> 00:32:18,477
- Hit me.
Hit me.
475
00:32:18,979 --> 00:32:23,399
- Hit me.
- No, hit me, fragnabbit!
476
00:32:24,943 --> 00:32:27,403
- He's the boss.
You son of a...
477
00:32:27,571 --> 00:32:29,113
Card, sir?
478
00:32:29,739 --> 00:32:30,990
Hit me.
479
00:32:31,158 --> 00:32:32,992
Twenty-one, a winner!
480
00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:34,452
Let's go!
481
00:32:36,955 --> 00:32:39,748
"And then they made their heroic escape!"
482
00:32:45,672 --> 00:32:48,299
I say we do Cirque du Soleil
and call it a night.
483
00:32:50,385 --> 00:32:51,886
How about the Liberace Museum?
484
00:32:55,682 --> 00:32:58,517
All right, let's see what this baby
can really do.
485
00:33:05,650 --> 00:33:07,610
Now, that's an interesting feature.
486
00:33:07,777 --> 00:33:10,279
Come back, you absconders!
487
00:33:10,447 --> 00:33:12,698
Aah!
- Watch yourself, ma'am.
488
00:33:13,575 --> 00:33:15,326
I love this rug.
489
00:33:15,494 --> 00:33:19,371
- Hey, come back here, you varmints!
- Run. Move. Go.
490
00:33:24,211 --> 00:33:25,503
Nice car.
491
00:33:25,754 --> 00:33:27,505
Don't hit me.
492
00:33:27,672 --> 00:33:31,342
It's a modified Chevrolet
with a big 24 on the side.
493
00:33:36,431 --> 00:33:40,059
Out of the way, fancy boy.
I'm a-commandeering this here clown car.
494
00:33:40,227 --> 00:33:42,102
After them, boys!
495
00:33:42,270 --> 00:33:43,521
Shotgun!
496
00:33:45,023 --> 00:33:47,900
Rag-flagging ragtag sidekicks!
497
00:33:50,487 --> 00:33:52,988
Slow down, will you? I'm waddling here.
498
00:33:53,156 --> 00:33:55,741
Come back, you darn idiot galoots!
499
00:34:00,580 --> 00:34:04,917
There's gotta be 314 hotels
and 142 casinos in Las Vegas.
500
00:34:05,085 --> 00:34:07,086
We are never going to find that duck.
501
00:34:11,633 --> 00:34:13,884
Heh. Daff never misses a cue.
502
00:34:20,934 --> 00:34:23,310
- What's up, duck?
Don't you start with me.
503
00:34:24,062 --> 00:34:25,521
Excuse me.
504
00:34:26,523 --> 00:34:27,606
- You.
- You.
505
00:34:27,774 --> 00:34:28,816
- You.
- Him.
506
00:34:28,984 --> 00:34:30,192
- Her.
Them!
507
00:34:30,360 --> 00:34:31,610
Out of my way!
508
00:34:35,907 --> 00:34:37,408
Dagnabbit!
509
00:34:37,576 --> 00:34:41,161
- You are in big trouble, mister.
- Agreed!
510
00:34:46,585 --> 00:34:47,626
Out!
511
00:34:47,794 --> 00:34:50,421
What are you doing, kidnapping me?
Stop the car.
512
00:34:50,589 --> 00:34:52,256
This is my adventure, bub.
513
00:34:59,389 --> 00:35:01,181
- Coming through.
Aah!
514
00:35:05,061 --> 00:35:08,272
So, what brings you to Las Vegas?
You ran out of people to fire in L.A.?
515
00:35:08,440 --> 00:35:10,274
You stole my duck.
516
00:35:10,442 --> 00:35:13,944
- Your duck? Bah! I belong to the world.
- You know what? You can have him.
517
00:35:23,538 --> 00:35:26,248
Dynamite? Who has dynamite?
518
00:35:26,416 --> 00:35:28,083
Welcome to my world.
519
00:35:30,211 --> 00:35:31,545
Hang on.
520
00:35:43,725 --> 00:35:45,934
Throw it out the window.
Throw it out!
521
00:35:46,102 --> 00:35:49,271
- But innocent people could be hurt.
- Throw it out the window!
522
00:35:49,439 --> 00:35:51,940
It will send the wrong message
to children.
523
00:36:07,957 --> 00:36:09,875
Didn't he used to be behind us?
524
00:36:24,224 --> 00:36:27,226
We're having duck tonight, boys. Ha, ha.
525
00:36:27,394 --> 00:36:31,605
Just a suggestion, but all those in favor
of not hitting that wall say "aye. "
526
00:36:31,773 --> 00:36:33,357
Aye!
- Mother.
527
00:36:33,525 --> 00:36:34,858
Taking you to Mother.
528
00:36:42,409 --> 00:36:43,617
Uh-oh.
529
00:36:59,759 --> 00:37:03,637
Look, a shooting star.
Quick, everybody make a wish.
530
00:37:05,056 --> 00:37:08,642
You know, I'm beginning to think
that this one is the spy car.
531
00:37:08,810 --> 00:37:09,852
What?
532
00:37:11,980 --> 00:37:14,648
ETA to Mother, 10 minutes.
533
00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:30,789
Please return your
seatbacks to their upright position.
534
00:37:30,957 --> 00:37:34,042
So, what are your plans now, if I may ask?
535
00:37:34,210 --> 00:37:36,545
Daffy will save us. He's the hero.
536
00:37:36,713 --> 00:37:38,714
All right, bucktooth. Stick a carrot in it.
537
00:37:38,882 --> 00:37:41,717
Everybody calm down, all right?
I can handle this.
538
00:37:54,564 --> 00:37:55,898
Sell my Warner Bros. stock.
539
00:37:56,065 --> 00:37:59,026
I got an inside tip
that Bugs Bunny is about to die.
540
00:38:05,116 --> 00:38:07,034
Huh. Out of gas.
541
00:38:07,535 --> 00:38:10,037
What? It doesn't work like that.
542
00:38:13,374 --> 00:38:14,750
Thanks, toots.
543
00:38:26,054 --> 00:38:28,597
- Enh, carrot?
- No, thanks.
544
00:38:34,646 --> 00:38:38,315
You really think that playing card
is going to help you rescue your father?
545
00:38:38,483 --> 00:38:40,025
Mm-hm. Yeah, I do.
546
00:38:40,193 --> 00:38:44,279
Heh. You know this all sounds insane, right?
547
00:38:48,243 --> 00:38:51,829
I remember the first time
I saw your dad in the movies.
548
00:38:52,664 --> 00:38:55,666
- Yeah.
- So breathtaking.
549
00:39:02,173 --> 00:39:04,091
Your hair smells nice.
550
00:39:04,801 --> 00:39:09,680
- Hmm? You say something?
- No, just, um, saying good night.
551
00:39:11,683 --> 00:39:13,016
I'm telling you, Daffy...
552
00:39:13,184 --> 00:39:16,019
...I heard the Warner Brothers say
you were their best duck.
553
00:39:16,187 --> 00:39:19,231
Flattered though I may be,
flattened I will not...
554
00:39:19,399 --> 00:39:21,108
...in order for you to get the laughs.
555
00:39:21,276 --> 00:39:22,818
It's all: Hoo-hoo! Yuk, yuk.
556
00:39:22,986 --> 00:39:25,028
And then: Bam! Wham! Bam!
557
00:39:25,196 --> 00:39:28,448
- And your tail is on fire.
- Exactly my point.
558
00:39:28,616 --> 00:39:30,742
No, really, your tail's on fire.
559
00:39:32,871 --> 00:39:35,956
Ha, ha. Daff, you're accident-prone.
560
00:39:37,292 --> 00:39:39,042
What am I talking to you for?
561
00:39:39,210 --> 00:39:43,589
All you have to do is munch on a carrot,
and people love you.
562
00:39:51,306 --> 00:39:55,183
I need you to move my 12:00 appointment
up to 2:00 and then back to 11:00.
563
00:39:55,351 --> 00:39:59,021
Then just cancel it.
And I need you to get a helicopter and, uh...
564
00:39:59,188 --> 00:40:01,231
No, don't put me on hold.
565
00:40:02,108 --> 00:40:03,233
Oh, God.
566
00:40:05,028 --> 00:40:08,071
I can't die out here.
567
00:40:08,239 --> 00:40:10,073
This wasn't the plan.
568
00:40:10,241 --> 00:40:12,993
After this comedy...
569
00:40:14,746 --> 00:40:16,955
...I promised myself
I would only do real movies...
570
00:40:17,123 --> 00:40:20,250
...about the human condition
crammed with social relevance.
571
00:40:21,836 --> 00:40:25,756
There's nothing but a big rock
for 10 miles in that, that...
572
00:40:25,965 --> 00:40:28,008
...that, and that direction.
573
00:40:31,095 --> 00:40:32,262
I say we go that way.
574
00:40:32,430 --> 00:40:36,183
Say, who are you kidding here?
We're goners!
575
00:40:36,351 --> 00:40:38,435
Water! I can't die now.
576
00:40:38,603 --> 00:40:42,606
Think of the millions of children
who want me to have the diamond.
577
00:40:42,774 --> 00:40:44,608
The poor children!
578
00:40:45,193 --> 00:40:46,234
Look at that.
579
00:40:49,572 --> 00:40:52,407
Is it a mirage? Or just product placement?
580
00:40:52,575 --> 00:40:55,827
Who cares? With shopping convenience
at such low prices.
581
00:40:55,995 --> 00:40:59,498
Water, Fresca, Mountain Dew.
Your product name here.
582
00:41:00,750 --> 00:41:02,459
Is this your idea?
583
00:41:04,837 --> 00:41:06,004
The audience expects it.
584
00:41:06,172 --> 00:41:09,424
They don't even notice
this kind of thing anymore.
585
00:41:12,095 --> 00:41:14,721
Nice of Wal-Mart
to provide these Wal-Mart beverages...
586
00:41:14,889 --> 00:41:17,933
...in return for us saying "Wal-Mart"
so many times.
587
00:41:22,772 --> 00:41:24,648
Where's Yosemite Sam?
588
00:41:25,233 --> 00:41:27,693
- What is your report?
- Boss, it wasn't me.
589
00:41:27,860 --> 00:41:31,363
That razzan-frazzan duck
and that crazy son D.J...
590
00:41:31,531 --> 00:41:33,865
...and a humina-humina Dusty Tails.
591
00:41:35,159 --> 00:41:37,744
You know, that makes a lot of sense.
592
00:41:37,912 --> 00:41:39,246
Thank you.
593
00:41:42,834 --> 00:41:47,212
Mr. Drake, are you going to save us
the bother of eliminating your son?
594
00:41:47,380 --> 00:41:50,132
My son is going to kick your evil butt.
595
00:41:51,718 --> 00:41:53,301
- Mr. Chairman.
Yes, Dad.
596
00:41:53,469 --> 00:41:56,263
- Desert operative.
- No.
597
00:41:57,015 --> 00:41:58,849
Not a bad idea, Dad.
598
00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:02,310
Our desert operative is due for a win.
599
00:42:16,743 --> 00:42:19,745
I told you we should have
made that left turn at Albuquerque.
600
00:42:19,912 --> 00:42:21,872
Don't start that again.
601
00:42:53,780 --> 00:42:55,363
All right. Here's the plan.
602
00:42:55,531 --> 00:42:59,743
We wait here for the next truck or car
or camel or whatever...
603
00:42:59,911 --> 00:43:01,745
...and take Bugs and Daffy...
604
00:43:01,913 --> 00:43:04,122
...get back to Hollywood
and finish making the movie.
605
00:43:04,290 --> 00:43:05,832
What are you going to do?
606
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:09,586
- I'm just gonna keep walking that way.
- That's your plan?
607
00:43:11,672 --> 00:43:14,674
Yep. That's the direction
the car was going.
608
00:43:22,975 --> 00:43:25,602
You're not leaving me
while you make off with my diamond.
609
00:43:40,159 --> 00:43:42,536
I don't wanna get too wrapped up
in your caper...
610
00:43:42,703 --> 00:43:46,331
...but let's assume that you're right
and Damian Drake is a spy?
611
00:43:46,499 --> 00:43:47,541
Super spy.
612
00:43:48,292 --> 00:43:52,212
Um, what's the point ofjust meandering
through the desert if...?
613
00:43:57,593 --> 00:43:58,635
Here.
614
00:44:00,012 --> 00:44:01,221
Be safe.
615
00:44:01,389 --> 00:44:04,015
- Attaboy. Trust your instincts.
- Yeah.
616
00:44:04,183 --> 00:44:08,311
Except for the water tower, the Batmobile,
the rubble known as Las Vegas.
617
00:44:09,021 --> 00:44:13,233
There's nobody as rich, famous,
and powerful as my father...
618
00:44:13,401 --> 00:44:16,027
...who just disappears into thin air.
619
00:44:21,284 --> 00:44:24,703
Suddenly I feel like
I'm in Aunt Marge's Jell-O mold.
620
00:44:24,871 --> 00:44:28,206
Guys, it's air-conditioned in here.
Come on in.
621
00:44:30,877 --> 00:44:35,547
Intruder alert. Intruder alert. Intruder alert.
622
00:44:52,815 --> 00:44:53,857
Easy. Whoa.
623
00:45:01,449 --> 00:45:02,574
Earth freak.
624
00:45:08,164 --> 00:45:11,583
Okay, buster. Where's Damian Drake
and that big diamond?
625
00:45:14,795 --> 00:45:17,088
Cleanup on aisle three.
626
00:45:17,590 --> 00:45:19,382
Can I be of service?
627
00:45:19,550 --> 00:45:22,969
I am monitored to respond
to the name Robbie.
628
00:45:23,137 --> 00:45:25,430
Hi, D.J.
629
00:45:25,598 --> 00:45:28,058
At ease. I'm Mother.
630
00:45:29,018 --> 00:45:32,062
Yeah, like the car said
that we would be meeting you.
631
00:45:32,230 --> 00:45:33,688
How do you know my name?
632
00:45:33,856 --> 00:45:36,066
D.J., I've known you
since you were this big.
633
00:45:38,444 --> 00:45:41,071
That's not really possible, is it?
634
00:45:41,239 --> 00:45:42,948
Must have been a photo.
635
00:45:43,115 --> 00:45:45,325
Let me just take care of this, and we'll...
636
00:45:48,079 --> 00:45:50,163
Give it to me straight.
How bad is it?
637
00:45:50,331 --> 00:45:52,374
So shall we?
638
00:45:53,251 --> 00:45:55,210
So little to do, so much time.
639
00:45:55,378 --> 00:45:59,297
You're going to put him back, right?
I can't go back to L.A. with duck soup.
640
00:45:59,465 --> 00:46:03,760
We do have the facilities
to reconstitute the body.
641
00:46:03,928 --> 00:46:06,805
The mind, though,
will remain a gooey mess.
642
00:46:07,265 --> 00:46:09,349
Uh, so about my father?
643
00:46:09,850 --> 00:46:13,103
All in due time.
Lovely. Yes. Blow.
644
00:46:13,271 --> 00:46:17,649
All right, break it up, fellas. Nice coats.
White is the new black, you know.
645
00:46:17,817 --> 00:46:18,900
Yes.
646
00:46:19,819 --> 00:46:20,860
Look.
647
00:46:21,028 --> 00:46:23,488
So this is Area 51, right?
No.
648
00:46:23,656 --> 00:46:26,700
The secret military base
where they keep the aliens?
649
00:46:26,867 --> 00:46:30,829
No, Area 51 is actually
a paranoid fantasy we concocted...
650
00:46:30,997 --> 00:46:33,957
...to hide the true identity of this facility.
651
00:46:34,125 --> 00:46:36,459
- Which is?
- Area 52.
652
00:46:37,128 --> 00:46:39,004
But don't quote me on that.
653
00:46:39,171 --> 00:46:43,466
Oh, right. Area 52.
654
00:46:44,427 --> 00:46:47,262
So, uh, Mother...
- Call me "Mom. "
655
00:46:47,888 --> 00:46:51,141
Uh, Mom, what is it
that you do here exactly, anyway?
656
00:46:51,309 --> 00:46:55,770
Creation, transubstantiation, destruction.
It's stressful. All kinds of things.
657
00:46:55,938 --> 00:46:58,815
They're already here. You're next.
658
00:47:02,111 --> 00:47:04,946
My God, what am I going to do with you?
You've done nothing but screw up!
659
00:47:05,114 --> 00:47:07,615
You've walked off mesas.
You've been smashed by boulders.
660
00:47:07,783 --> 00:47:09,451
You've been run over by diesel trucks.
661
00:47:09,618 --> 00:47:12,871
Don't blame the equipment. It's good.
It's ACME equipment.
662
00:47:13,039 --> 00:47:15,498
You're a coyote. Be wily.
663
00:47:16,500 --> 00:47:20,003
All right, now.
Buck up and let's see a little smile.
664
00:47:21,630 --> 00:47:23,173
Little bigger.
665
00:47:23,591 --> 00:47:24,632
Little bigger.
666
00:47:26,844 --> 00:47:28,303
That's nice.
667
00:47:28,721 --> 00:47:33,183
Now, just go take a shower,
and don't come back till you smell better!
668
00:47:33,434 --> 00:47:35,977
Be careful. There are men moving a safe
and I don't want you to...
669
00:47:38,981 --> 00:47:41,066
And be careful
of the box of fireworks because...
670
00:47:44,528 --> 00:47:46,863
I suppose I should mention
the plate-glass window...
671
00:47:51,702 --> 00:47:53,828
It's tough being the boss.
672
00:47:57,917 --> 00:48:00,001
Ah, a communication.
673
00:48:00,169 --> 00:48:02,003
Memo to Marvin the Martian.
674
00:48:04,965 --> 00:48:07,550
Obtain the playing card,
and destroy the duck.
675
00:48:07,718 --> 00:48:12,514
And when I say destroy the duck,
I mean kill him viciously and painfully.
676
00:48:12,973 --> 00:48:16,810
A mission? I'm all a-tingle.
677
00:48:17,186 --> 00:48:21,106
So here we are
in the I-can't-tell-you-what room.
678
00:48:21,273 --> 00:48:24,651
- Robert, can you take care of that, please?
- Yes, madam.
679
00:48:24,819 --> 00:48:27,987
When you bring Daffy back,
could you make him 20 percent funnier?
680
00:48:28,155 --> 00:48:30,907
I heard that.
- What were we discussing?
681
00:48:31,075 --> 00:48:33,076
This isn't about the giant ants, is it?
682
00:48:33,244 --> 00:48:38,164
- Giant ants?
- Because they're not really ants anymore.
683
00:48:38,666 --> 00:48:40,166
Tell me about the Blue Monkey.
684
00:48:42,211 --> 00:48:45,713
How do you know about that thing
that I've never heard of in my entire life?
685
00:48:48,008 --> 00:48:49,050
My dad told me.
686
00:48:49,927 --> 00:48:54,222
What is the point
of making them pinky swear?
687
00:48:55,141 --> 00:48:57,016
All right.
688
00:48:58,060 --> 00:48:59,936
Now this tape will explain everything.
689
00:49:00,104 --> 00:49:03,148
It was prepared especially for your father.
690
00:49:06,527 --> 00:49:08,403
Greetings, Damian Drake.
691
00:49:08,571 --> 00:49:13,032
If you are watching this, you are aware
that the world indeed is in grave danger.
692
00:49:13,200 --> 00:49:17,412
The ACME Corporation is in hot pursuit
of the Blue Monkey diamond...
693
00:49:17,580 --> 00:49:21,958
...a supernatural gem with the ability
to turn people into monkeys...
694
00:49:22,126 --> 00:49:23,334
...and then back again.
695
00:49:23,502 --> 00:49:26,588
It is the ACME chairman's goal
to turn the population...
696
00:49:26,755 --> 00:49:30,884
...into monkey slaves
to manufacture shoddy ACME goods...
697
00:49:31,051 --> 00:49:33,678
...and then change them back to people
to buy the stuff.
698
00:49:34,805 --> 00:49:36,264
Unbelievable.
699
00:49:36,432 --> 00:49:38,016
Unbelievable, you may say.
700
00:49:38,184 --> 00:49:42,604
Your mission is this:
Find it, destroy it, save humanity.
701
00:49:42,771 --> 00:49:43,813
Yay!
702
00:49:43,981 --> 00:49:47,233
And remember,
no one wants to be turned into a monkey.
703
00:49:51,572 --> 00:49:53,239
So that's why.
704
00:49:53,908 --> 00:49:58,495
Those guys came after my dad
because he was going to save the world.
705
00:49:59,121 --> 00:50:02,790
So that means if I go after the diamond,
then the bad guys come after me.
706
00:50:02,958 --> 00:50:05,919
Hang on.
You're not seriously thinking about...
707
00:50:06,086 --> 00:50:08,796
Taking over your father's mission?
708
00:50:10,299 --> 00:50:12,509
- I guess that would be all right.
What?
709
00:50:12,676 --> 00:50:17,138
Listen, if you're going to be a spy,
you'Il need spy stuff.
710
00:50:17,848 --> 00:50:21,559
So is this where you keep
all the high-tech spy gadgets?
711
00:50:24,104 --> 00:50:25,188
Yes.
712
00:50:25,356 --> 00:50:26,981
Oh, wow!
713
00:50:27,149 --> 00:50:31,069
Oh, yeah, that's cool.
So I get to use all this stuff?
714
00:50:31,237 --> 00:50:34,322
No, your stuff is over here.
715
00:50:36,367 --> 00:50:37,909
But I really like the...
716
00:50:38,077 --> 00:50:41,746
All right.
Looks like an ordinary cell phone.
717
00:50:42,039 --> 00:50:45,083
Three-way calling, voice dialing,
downloadable ringtones.
718
00:50:46,460 --> 00:50:50,463
- My phone does all that.
- Superconducting electromagnet.
719
00:50:51,840 --> 00:50:53,299
Sorry.
It's all right.
720
00:50:53,467 --> 00:50:56,052
GPS with mapping software...
721
00:50:56,220 --> 00:50:58,846
...tip calculator, Game Boy.
722
00:50:59,014 --> 00:51:00,223
Game Boy?
723
00:51:01,517 --> 00:51:03,309
High-powered laser.
724
00:51:03,477 --> 00:51:07,939
Polycarbonate rappelling line
with jet-propelled micro grappling hook.
725
00:51:08,107 --> 00:51:11,067
Nose hair trimmer.
You always want to look your best.
726
00:51:11,235 --> 00:51:14,737
Get over here, you idiot.
No, cold. Cold. Warm, warmer.
727
00:51:19,201 --> 00:51:20,451
Permit me, madam.
728
00:51:20,619 --> 00:51:23,454
Robert, darling. Excellent choice.
729
00:51:23,622 --> 00:51:24,789
Swank pants.
730
00:51:24,957 --> 00:51:27,041
And comfortable too.
731
00:51:27,209 --> 00:51:31,546
Plus, liquid hydrogen rocket pockets,
here and here.
732
00:51:31,714 --> 00:51:33,840
Hand stitching,
nuclear-powered crotch pad...
733
00:51:36,385 --> 00:51:38,136
He'll be down in a moment.
734
00:51:41,724 --> 00:51:43,349
Wakey, wakey, friends.
735
00:51:43,517 --> 00:51:46,436
Time to wreak mayhem
in the cause of evil.
736
00:51:48,480 --> 00:51:53,151
Mother, just one last question.
What's the deal with this card?
737
00:51:53,319 --> 00:51:57,196
Well, that is the window
into what lies behind her smile.
738
00:51:57,364 --> 00:51:58,406
What?
739
00:51:58,574 --> 00:52:02,535
I'm sorry, our intelligence people
feel a need to code everything in a riddle.
740
00:52:02,703 --> 00:52:07,415
They get some kind of perverse pleasure
out of it. I think it's corporate.
741
00:52:07,916 --> 00:52:08,958
Fool humans.
742
00:52:09,710 --> 00:52:11,794
Enh, looks like we got company.
743
00:52:15,007 --> 00:52:16,132
Yipes!
744
00:52:16,592 --> 00:52:18,176
Illegal aliens.
745
00:52:20,179 --> 00:52:21,596
Exterminate them.
746
00:52:21,764 --> 00:52:25,183
Darn. I knew this day would come.
747
00:52:26,352 --> 00:52:29,062
Let us exterminate them.
748
00:52:33,817 --> 00:52:35,735
Emergency shutdown activated.
749
00:52:35,903 --> 00:52:37,904
Force-barrier seal in 30 seconds.
750
00:52:38,072 --> 00:52:39,572
Exterminate.
751
00:52:42,493 --> 00:52:44,285
The playing card, please.
752
00:52:44,453 --> 00:52:47,413
I'll take that. Out of my way.
Hero coming through.
753
00:52:48,874 --> 00:52:50,625
There is no escape.
754
00:52:56,382 --> 00:52:57,507
You pesky fowl!
755
00:53:02,471 --> 00:53:03,513
Yum, yum.
756
00:53:09,728 --> 00:53:14,190
Isn't it about time to enjoy a frosty,
cold soda at the concession stand?
757
00:53:14,942 --> 00:53:16,567
Exterminate!
758
00:53:17,486 --> 00:53:19,612
Get the lead out. Bus is leaving.
759
00:53:21,323 --> 00:53:23,366
Halt or be fricasseed.
760
00:53:31,375 --> 00:53:32,792
That was fun.
761
00:53:32,960 --> 00:53:34,585
Looking for this?
762
00:53:37,589 --> 00:53:39,966
Now, what did she mean by a window?
763
00:53:40,968 --> 00:53:43,886
The window into what lies
behind her smile.
764
00:53:45,597 --> 00:53:47,014
That's the Mona Lisa.
765
00:53:47,182 --> 00:53:50,143
- Which is in the Louvre.
- Which is in Paris.
766
00:53:50,769 --> 00:53:53,396
Just how are we supposed to get to Paris?
767
00:53:53,564 --> 00:53:54,814
Like this.
768
00:54:24,928 --> 00:54:27,346
It doesn't look like
much of a window to me.
769
00:54:27,514 --> 00:54:29,599
- Maybe the diamond is in the painting.
- Huh?
770
00:54:29,767 --> 00:54:32,602
- All we have to do is steal the Mona Lisa.
- Way ahead of you.
771
00:54:32,770 --> 00:54:33,895
No, no, no.
772
00:54:34,062 --> 00:54:36,981
- No, you look, you don't touch, right?
- Yeah.
773
00:54:37,149 --> 00:54:38,983
But I'm already in costume.
774
00:54:39,151 --> 00:54:41,611
- That's a good look for you.
- Do you think so?
775
00:54:41,779 --> 00:54:43,112
Wait a minute.
776
00:54:52,039 --> 00:54:54,290
Aha! It is a window.
777
00:54:57,503 --> 00:54:59,212
Wow.
It's an X-ray.
778
00:54:59,922 --> 00:55:01,464
Heh. Sorry.
779
00:55:04,259 --> 00:55:06,594
It's a map of Africa.
Maybe that's where the diamond is.
780
00:55:07,304 --> 00:55:08,846
Hold it up. I'll take a picture.
781
00:55:09,014 --> 00:55:11,265
Hey, can I take a picture? Please?
782
00:55:11,433 --> 00:55:14,101
Come on, give me your phone.
I want to take a picture too.
783
00:55:14,269 --> 00:55:16,020
Cheese it, the cops.
784
00:55:19,149 --> 00:55:20,191
He's gone.
785
00:55:20,359 --> 00:55:23,569
So let me take a picture, will you?
I want to take a picture too.
786
00:55:23,737 --> 00:55:26,781
Come on, please? Can I hold the window?
Let me see the window.
787
00:55:26,949 --> 00:55:28,491
I'll take that!
788
00:55:30,369 --> 00:55:33,371
Um, what gives, doc?
We made 35 pictures together.
789
00:55:33,539 --> 00:55:36,624
Well, as it turns out, I'm secretly evil.
790
00:55:36,792 --> 00:55:38,334
That's show biz for you.
791
00:55:38,502 --> 00:55:42,338
Now make with the card,
so I can please my dark masters.
792
00:55:42,506 --> 00:55:44,423
Yes, sir. Queen of diamonds is your card.
793
00:55:44,591 --> 00:55:47,552
Just put it back in the deck,
anywhere is fine. And oopsie-daisy!
794
00:55:47,719 --> 00:55:51,055
- Aha! Is this your card?
- No.
795
00:55:51,223 --> 00:55:54,183
This?
No.
796
00:55:55,185 --> 00:55:58,062
- Run. This?
- No.
797
00:55:58,230 --> 00:56:00,606
I said it's the queen of diamonds,
I tell you.
798
00:56:00,774 --> 00:56:02,441
You mean, like this one?
799
00:56:06,238 --> 00:56:07,738
Think we should go back and help him?
800
00:56:07,906 --> 00:56:11,158
Nah, Elmer never gets Bugs.
It's a formula, but it works.
801
00:56:11,326 --> 00:56:14,370
The great thing about movies,
you always know what will happen.
802
00:56:14,538 --> 00:56:16,163
For instance, if this was a movie...
803
00:56:16,331 --> 00:56:18,875
...you and I'd probably wind up together.
804
00:56:23,672 --> 00:56:25,464
If you don't let go of me, I'll scream...
805
00:56:25,632 --> 00:56:27,717
...but I'm not gonna stop screaming!
806
00:56:45,861 --> 00:56:48,195
Well, this is surreal.
807
00:56:48,363 --> 00:56:52,408
Stop or I'll fire.
808
00:56:54,286 --> 00:56:55,494
Yikes.
809
00:57:28,487 --> 00:57:29,695
Hello.
810
00:57:31,615 --> 00:57:32,865
Oh, my.
811
00:57:34,201 --> 00:57:35,743
Ladies, please.
812
00:57:49,341 --> 00:57:50,508
Hey!
813
00:57:51,259 --> 00:57:52,468
Gendarme!
814
00:57:55,722 --> 00:57:57,598
There's a man there. He's got a woman.
815
00:57:57,766 --> 00:58:00,518
She's tied up in a burlap sack.
He's taking her to the Eiffel Tower.
816
00:58:00,686 --> 00:58:03,479
Ah, it is spring, is it not?
817
00:58:21,456 --> 00:58:23,582
Ooh, I'm gonna blast you.
818
00:58:32,175 --> 00:58:34,260
- Shh.
- Aw, shucks.
819
00:58:38,348 --> 00:58:39,390
Ooh.
820
00:58:49,026 --> 00:58:53,279
"Pointillism: A technique
of using individual dots of pigment...
821
00:58:53,447 --> 00:58:56,365
...which, taken together, make an image. "
822
00:58:56,950 --> 00:58:58,284
Oh, crud.
823
00:59:00,370 --> 00:59:03,873
I think when you go to the movies,
you should learn something.
824
00:59:43,622 --> 00:59:46,499
Ha, ha. Look at that clown here.
825
00:59:46,666 --> 00:59:49,001
Now, there's something
you don't see every day.
826
00:59:50,378 --> 00:59:51,796
You.
827
00:59:51,963 --> 00:59:53,464
- Huh?
Come here.
828
00:59:54,174 --> 00:59:56,008
Wait a minute.
I don't want trouble.
829
00:59:56,176 --> 00:59:59,470
- What're you doing?
- I just want your pants!
830
01:00:03,558 --> 01:00:07,853
Heh. That's right. I'm a vicious bird of prey.
831
01:00:45,100 --> 01:00:47,101
He's got the camera!
832
01:01:00,031 --> 01:01:01,365
Give the girl back!
833
01:01:50,040 --> 01:01:52,875
- Enh, what kept you?
- You okay?
834
01:01:53,293 --> 01:01:54,710
That was great.
835
01:02:01,968 --> 01:02:05,512
I'd say it's a perfect day.
Except for the fact that we lost the map.
836
01:02:05,680 --> 01:02:08,515
- We?
- All right, I'm the jerk who lost the map.
837
01:02:08,683 --> 01:02:11,852
And I'm the bunny
who saved the card. Voil�.
838
01:02:13,230 --> 01:02:14,605
Nice going, Bugs.
839
01:02:16,983 --> 01:02:18,150
Africa.
840
01:02:18,944 --> 01:02:21,111
Chair people, I reveal to you...
841
01:02:21,279 --> 01:02:23,989
...the whereabouts of the Blue Monkey.
842
01:02:29,037 --> 01:02:30,162
All right.
843
01:02:33,291 --> 01:02:37,002
There's a duck in the middle of the map.
Remove the duck.
844
01:02:37,254 --> 01:02:40,756
Remove the duck! The duck is in the...
845
01:02:41,007 --> 01:02:42,132
Duck!
846
01:02:47,430 --> 01:02:48,472
Oh.
847
01:02:49,849 --> 01:02:54,770
Now, we cannot let a boy, girl, duck, and rabbit
thwart our plans for global domination.
848
01:02:54,938 --> 01:02:57,606
- Wanna bet?
- A wager?
849
01:02:57,774 --> 01:03:02,236
Five dollars says my son will scuttle
your diabolical plans and save the world.
850
01:03:02,445 --> 01:03:04,780
You're awfully spunky
for a man in your position.
851
01:03:06,533 --> 01:03:09,451
How do you like that,
Mr. Slap Yourself in Your Own Face?
852
01:03:09,619 --> 01:03:11,620
Give him a good zets
every once in a while.
853
01:03:11,788 --> 01:03:12,997
My pleasure.
854
01:03:13,164 --> 01:03:16,000
Now, I think I'm going to
hedge my bet.
855
01:03:16,167 --> 01:03:19,044
I'm going to unleash
our most vicious operative.
856
01:03:28,471 --> 01:03:33,267
Uh, Mr. Chairman, while we agree
that the Tasmanian Devil is quite vicious...
857
01:03:33,476 --> 01:03:37,229
...if memory serves, he is also really stupid.
858
01:03:37,480 --> 01:03:39,940
Really? So are you.
859
01:03:48,033 --> 01:03:49,450
That's a good boy.
860
01:03:55,081 --> 01:03:57,124
I withdraw my objection.
861
01:04:12,891 --> 01:04:15,392
This would have been
a lot easier underground.
862
01:04:15,560 --> 01:04:19,938
Come on, it's only another 6,000 cubits
in this here thick direction.
863
01:04:25,820 --> 01:04:29,114
Look, Granny,
it's that nice boy from next door.
864
01:04:29,282 --> 01:04:31,283
Little Damian.
865
01:04:31,618 --> 01:04:34,078
How funny seeing you here, dear.
866
01:04:34,245 --> 01:04:36,038
Hi, Granny.
867
01:04:36,206 --> 01:04:38,624
Would you and your little friends
like a lift?
868
01:04:39,292 --> 01:04:40,709
Giddyup, Dumbo.
869
01:04:42,003 --> 01:04:45,839
Sure was a lucky coincidence
you showing up just now.
870
01:04:46,007 --> 01:04:47,966
Yes, wasn't it?
871
01:05:06,736 --> 01:05:08,320
I've discovered my roots.
872
01:05:08,488 --> 01:05:10,989
I've discovered my lunch. Heh, heh.
873
01:05:14,661 --> 01:05:16,328
Ow, ow, ow!
874
01:05:16,496 --> 01:05:18,038
Cry freedom!
875
01:05:30,176 --> 01:05:32,094
What a fantastic view.
876
01:05:32,262 --> 01:05:33,720
Unless you're in the audience...
877
01:05:33,888 --> 01:05:37,850
...in which case you've been staring
at an elephant's behind for 30 seconds.
878
01:05:40,311 --> 01:05:42,187
My destiny awaits.
879
01:05:48,153 --> 01:05:49,486
I guess this is our stop.
880
01:05:49,654 --> 01:05:52,614
Enjoy the rest of your adventure, children.
881
01:06:19,517 --> 01:06:24,062
This is the Blue Monkey?
This dime-store bauble?
882
01:06:24,230 --> 01:06:27,566
- I've been rooked. Shafted by the gods.
- That shouldn't happen. Nice going, Daffy.
883
01:06:27,734 --> 01:06:30,861
I demand recompense.
I want my diamond.
884
01:06:31,070 --> 01:06:33,655
Where is my humongous rock?
885
01:06:36,367 --> 01:06:38,368
Huh. Pressed duck.
886
01:06:46,794 --> 01:06:49,004
Hey.
Unh.
887
01:06:49,172 --> 01:06:50,881
- This looks like a puzzle piece.
- What?
888
01:06:52,592 --> 01:06:54,009
Wait a minute.
889
01:07:08,441 --> 01:07:10,108
Yipe!
890
01:07:15,698 --> 01:07:17,157
Are we rich yet?
891
01:07:17,325 --> 01:07:19,618
Kate. Any time now.
892
01:07:55,405 --> 01:07:58,657
I'm rich. I'm affluent.
My liquidity is assured.
893
01:08:00,910 --> 01:08:03,662
Daffy, get back here. Don't touch that!
894
01:08:03,997 --> 01:08:05,622
Let go! Don't you dare!
895
01:08:05,790 --> 01:08:08,333
- The rock is mine. So close.
- You mind?
896
01:08:08,501 --> 01:08:11,712
Yes, I mind. I'm the hero.
I should get the treasure.
897
01:08:11,879 --> 01:08:14,506
The girl too, but we'll discuss that later.
898
01:08:17,302 --> 01:08:21,263
Careful.
Careful with my diamond. Easy, now.
899
01:08:29,355 --> 01:08:32,232
Dad, this is for you.
900
01:08:38,906 --> 01:08:42,826
Why, D.J., why you? Why wasn't it me?
901
01:08:42,994 --> 01:08:45,579
Just academic curiosity, you understand.
902
01:08:45,747 --> 01:08:48,332
Well, gotta go. Bank closes at 5.
903
01:08:48,499 --> 01:08:51,877
- Come on, Daffy, change him back.
- All right.
904
01:08:52,587 --> 01:08:54,171
Buddy pictures.
905
01:08:57,300 --> 01:08:59,968
- D.J., pal, you're okay.
- Yeah.
906
01:09:01,679 --> 01:09:03,013
Give me that.
907
01:09:03,181 --> 01:09:05,974
- I liked you better as a monkey.
- Thanks.
908
01:09:07,352 --> 01:09:09,186
That is so sweet.
909
01:09:09,354 --> 01:09:12,773
Now if you could just
hand over the diamond.
910
01:09:16,986 --> 01:09:18,445
Immediately!
911
01:09:19,739 --> 01:09:21,031
My turn.
912
01:09:28,539 --> 01:09:29,581
Pardon.
913
01:09:31,125 --> 01:09:34,211
I've come for the diamond.
- I knew it was you.
914
01:09:34,379 --> 01:09:37,964
Oh, you knew it was me, did you?
You're wrong. Because I'm not me.
915
01:09:38,132 --> 01:09:39,716
I'm actually...
916
01:09:40,885 --> 01:09:43,095
I can't. I can't reach over the hat.
917
01:09:43,262 --> 01:09:46,181
I'd rehearse back at ACME,
but I never wore the hat.
918
01:09:46,349 --> 01:09:49,184
And now the hat is throwing me off.
Would you...
919
01:09:49,352 --> 01:09:52,312
Thank you very much. Now, I'm actually...
920
01:09:55,108 --> 01:09:56,274
Your father.
921
01:09:57,235 --> 01:09:59,152
- Dad.
- Saw that one coming.
922
01:09:59,320 --> 01:10:01,154
Look into your heart, D.J.
923
01:10:01,614 --> 01:10:05,325
- You know it's true.
- No, it can't be true.
924
01:10:05,493 --> 01:10:07,119
You're right, it isn't.
925
01:10:09,455 --> 01:10:11,123
Let's do some drills.
926
01:10:11,958 --> 01:10:13,792
This doesn't make a lick of sense.
927
01:10:15,461 --> 01:10:18,130
Ha, ha. Well, who's laughing now?
928
01:10:19,340 --> 01:10:22,968
Well, apparently, no one.
Anyway, give me the Monkey!
929
01:10:23,136 --> 01:10:24,761
No, forget that, man. You're evil.
930
01:10:26,472 --> 01:10:28,306
Thank you, but...
931
01:10:28,516 --> 01:10:32,894
Anyway, Mr. Smith,
let's show this muscle-bound beefcake...
932
01:10:33,062 --> 01:10:35,480
...who I have sometimes been mistaken for...
933
01:10:35,648 --> 01:10:38,108
...what it's like to live in the real world.
934
01:10:41,863 --> 01:10:45,615
Have you ever been disintegrated in one
place and then reassembled in another?
935
01:10:46,159 --> 01:10:47,200
Fire away.
936
01:10:53,750 --> 01:10:55,333
Oh, no, you don't!
937
01:11:08,347 --> 01:11:09,389
Ooh.
938
01:11:25,948 --> 01:11:28,200
I thought they fixed that glitch.
939
01:11:30,244 --> 01:11:31,369
Mr. Smith is fired!
940
01:11:31,537 --> 01:11:33,955
I have to do everything myself
around here.
941
01:11:37,335 --> 01:11:39,753
- Ah, good.
- You...
942
01:11:46,886 --> 01:11:48,053
Henchmen.
943
01:11:48,221 --> 01:11:49,346
Dad.
944
01:11:49,514 --> 01:11:51,681
So this is the remote that works.
945
01:11:51,849 --> 01:11:56,186
Now, this, my friend,
is the ACME Train of Death...
946
01:11:56,354 --> 01:11:58,647
...which is not good news for your father.
947
01:11:58,815 --> 01:12:00,190
Don't worry about me, son.
948
01:12:00,358 --> 01:12:02,651
I've gotten out of worse scrapes
than this one.
949
01:12:02,819 --> 01:12:05,570
You see, if the Train of Death
doesn't kill him...
950
01:12:05,738 --> 01:12:08,073
...then those crates of TNT will.
951
01:12:08,241 --> 01:12:10,742
Not to mention
the 2-ton anvil hanging over his head.
952
01:12:10,910 --> 01:12:13,995
And, oh, look.
There's the Pendulum of Doom.
953
01:12:14,163 --> 01:12:17,040
What's the Pendulum of Doom
doing there? I did not order it.
954
01:12:17,208 --> 01:12:19,626
It's overkill. Get rid of it.
955
01:12:22,046 --> 01:12:25,173
Now, if you want to
keep your family "together"...
956
01:12:25,883 --> 01:12:28,802
...I would hand over the Blue Monkey now.
957
01:12:29,387 --> 01:12:32,973
Don't worry, son. I'm fine.
958
01:12:38,062 --> 01:12:41,356
- You're a sick man, you know that?
- Get used to it.
959
01:12:41,983 --> 01:12:44,359
Excuse me? What about my father?
960
01:12:44,527 --> 01:12:45,652
Oh, heh.
961
01:12:46,028 --> 01:12:49,406
- He's waiting for a train.
- What? You...
962
01:12:49,740 --> 01:12:50,949
Where's Marvin the Martian?
963
01:12:51,117 --> 01:12:55,662
Ah. All right, here is the Blue Monkey.
Go put it on the satellite. Go!
964
01:12:57,540 --> 01:12:59,583
Oh, no, you don't, eight ball.
965
01:13:14,974 --> 01:13:18,268
Ha. You'd never catch that rabbit
being this heroic.
966
01:13:18,436 --> 01:13:23,023
- Enh, what's up, doc?
- You're despicable.
967
01:13:46,923 --> 01:13:48,590
Vandals.
968
01:13:53,721 --> 01:13:56,765
Your friends' efforts will prove to be futile.
969
01:13:56,933 --> 01:14:00,810
You see, here is the Blue Monkey,
here is the ACME satellite.
970
01:14:00,978 --> 01:14:04,648
When the Blue Monkey
is finally docked in the satellite...
971
01:14:06,150 --> 01:14:08,318
...I will transmit a beam around the world...
972
01:14:08,486 --> 01:14:11,947
...which will transform
everyone but me into monkeys.
973
01:14:12,573 --> 01:14:14,491
Now take them away!
974
01:14:15,034 --> 01:14:16,743
Don't you think that'll get lonely...
975
01:14:16,911 --> 01:14:20,997
...Mr. All My Friends Swing from Trees
and Pick Fleas Out of Their Furry Butts?
976
01:14:21,165 --> 01:14:25,335
Lonely? I suppose I could use
a little human companionship.
977
01:14:25,711 --> 01:14:27,212
Thanks a lot.
978
01:14:27,713 --> 01:14:29,756
I've seen you notice me.
979
01:14:30,299 --> 01:14:32,050
- I know I'm hot.
- Ew.
980
01:14:33,511 --> 01:14:36,221
But I prefer someone
with a little more oomph.
981
01:14:36,764 --> 01:14:39,265
I prefer Mary!
982
01:14:43,229 --> 01:14:45,105
Hello, Mary.
983
01:14:45,272 --> 01:14:46,731
We're a cute couple, don't you think?
984
01:14:46,899 --> 01:14:50,610
Now take those future simians away
and lower the Monkey shield.
985
01:15:06,877 --> 01:15:11,089
Earthlings have the worst
sense of direction. Aah!
986
01:15:12,341 --> 01:15:15,885
What do you know, he fell for it.
I guess I owe you 5 bucks.
987
01:15:33,154 --> 01:15:35,447
Uh, did you order satellite?
988
01:15:35,614 --> 01:15:37,449
Enh, I don't even have cable.
989
01:15:47,710 --> 01:15:50,378
You know, when I fired that duck...
990
01:15:50,755 --> 01:15:52,422
...I never would have seen this coming.
991
01:15:52,590 --> 01:15:54,549
Gotta be a way out of this.
992
01:15:54,717 --> 01:15:58,178
You can get out of this, son.
You've just got to set your mind to it.
993
01:15:58,345 --> 01:16:01,306
Besides, I'm hearing my dad's voice
in my head.
994
01:16:01,474 --> 01:16:04,559
Actually, I'm down here, son.
995
01:16:11,358 --> 01:16:14,235
Hold on, Dad, I'll be right there!
996
01:16:18,574 --> 01:16:19,824
That was too easy.
997
01:16:30,377 --> 01:16:31,961
What was that noise, son?
998
01:16:34,006 --> 01:16:38,551
- You know how I always wanted a dog?
- Yeah?
999
01:16:38,719 --> 01:16:39,761
I just got one.
1000
01:16:53,526 --> 01:16:56,111
Wait. Maybe he wants to play fetch.
1001
01:16:56,779 --> 01:17:00,615
- Nice mechanical doggy.
- Good dog. Want to play?
1002
01:17:01,325 --> 01:17:04,202
Good boy. Fetch!
1003
01:17:15,381 --> 01:17:18,299
It looks to be
a deadly mission requiring strength...
1004
01:17:18,467 --> 01:17:20,426
...cunning and nerves of steel.
1005
01:17:20,594 --> 01:17:23,388
So good luck, Bugsy,
I'll keep the engine running.
1006
01:17:25,766 --> 01:17:26,850
You tricked me!
1007
01:17:27,017 --> 01:17:28,518
Enh, what's up, Darth?
1008
01:17:28,686 --> 01:17:31,938
Now I must incapacitate you
with my bubble gun.
1009
01:17:32,731 --> 01:17:33,898
Ain't that cute?
1010
01:17:35,776 --> 01:17:39,028
Of course you realize this means war.
1011
01:17:51,333 --> 01:17:54,377
Uh, you go that way. I'm gonna go this way.
1012
01:18:08,976 --> 01:18:11,269
Bad dog! Sit!
1013
01:18:11,437 --> 01:18:13,938
Don't want to put you
under any added pressure...
1014
01:18:14,106 --> 01:18:17,358
...but judging by the vibrations
of these train tracks, I've got about...
1015
01:18:17,526 --> 01:18:19,569
...one minute and 42 seconds left.
1016
01:18:19,737 --> 01:18:21,571
Down! Put him down.
1017
01:18:31,624 --> 01:18:34,000
What am I gonna do?
What would Damian Drake do?
1018
01:18:34,168 --> 01:18:35,919
What would Duck Dodgers do?
1019
01:18:36,086 --> 01:18:38,296
Wait a minute. I am Duck Dodgers!
1020
01:18:38,464 --> 01:18:41,341
Yes, I'm going to be the hero
of this picture!
1021
01:18:41,508 --> 01:18:43,760
Duck Dodgers to the rescue!
1022
01:18:46,055 --> 01:18:49,307
Duck Dodgers to the rescue!
1023
01:18:50,768 --> 01:18:52,518
Duck Dodgers.
1024
01:18:54,563 --> 01:18:55,688
Duck...
1025
01:18:58,150 --> 01:19:02,862
Aha! It's you-know-who to the rescue!
It helps if you don't say the name.
1026
01:19:08,911 --> 01:19:09,953
Bad dog!
1027
01:20:05,718 --> 01:20:09,429
Disgusting Earth rodent.
Now to neutralize that duck.
1028
01:20:16,353 --> 01:20:18,396
Oh, this can't be good.
1029
01:20:23,152 --> 01:20:26,988
Now the diamond will bathe the Earth
in a monkey-transforming glow.
1030
01:20:27,156 --> 01:20:31,326
Ten, nine, eight, seven...
1031
01:20:31,910 --> 01:20:34,746
...six, five, four...
1032
01:20:35,164 --> 01:20:37,707
...three, two, one.
1033
01:20:39,626 --> 01:20:42,086
Thwarting evil
makes me so angry.
1034
01:20:47,468 --> 01:20:49,719
Well, that takes care of that. Yipe!
1035
01:21:03,776 --> 01:21:05,735
Enh, thanks, Daff.
1036
01:21:08,030 --> 01:21:10,281
Darn dark side!
1037
01:21:12,076 --> 01:21:13,910
Are you all monkeys yet?
1038
01:21:15,371 --> 01:21:16,788
Uh-oh.
1039
01:21:30,219 --> 01:21:33,679
Checkmate, Mr. Chairman.
You're going down.
1040
01:21:37,017 --> 01:21:39,143
Say it.
Just a little "You're my hero"?
1041
01:21:39,311 --> 01:21:41,145
Nope, sorry.
Bugs, say it, come on.
1042
01:21:41,313 --> 01:21:43,564
Uh-uh. Not interested.
No one will ever know.
1043
01:21:43,732 --> 01:21:44,857
Nope.
1044
01:21:47,736 --> 01:21:49,987
I'm really proud of you, D.J.
1045
01:21:50,406 --> 01:21:52,532
I knew I could count on you.
1046
01:21:53,742 --> 01:21:54,951
Yes.
1047
01:21:57,079 --> 01:21:58,454
Dad, I think we should move.
1048
01:22:00,624 --> 01:22:03,668
- What was wrong with Beverly Hills?
- I meant from this spot.
1049
01:22:22,521 --> 01:22:26,065
- I think we scratched it.
- Don't worry, it's a rental.
1050
01:22:26,233 --> 01:22:28,359
You guys, you pulled it off!
1051
01:22:28,527 --> 01:22:31,112
- You pulled it off, all right.
- Give me that.
1052
01:22:31,280 --> 01:22:32,655
Way to go, Daffy.
1053
01:22:32,823 --> 01:22:35,158
You didn't do so bad yourself, stunt boy.
1054
01:22:35,325 --> 01:22:36,617
To set the record straight...
1055
01:22:36,785 --> 01:22:40,455
...all credit for saving the human race
goes to Daffy.
1056
01:22:40,622 --> 01:22:41,831
Exactly.
1057
01:22:41,999 --> 01:22:44,667
Oh, no, you don't, buster. You're the hero.
1058
01:22:44,835 --> 01:22:46,586
- You're the hero.
- You're the...
1059
01:22:46,753 --> 01:22:51,007
Wait a minute. Pronoun trouble.
I'm the hero.
1060
01:22:51,175 --> 01:22:52,633
I'm the hero, all right.
1061
01:22:53,177 --> 01:22:55,011
Are you gonna introduce us, D.J.?
1062
01:22:55,179 --> 01:22:58,264
- Dad, this is Kate. Kate, this is...
- Damian Drake.
1063
01:22:58,432 --> 01:23:03,394
I'm a really big fan of your son.
1064
01:23:03,562 --> 01:23:06,939
Well, Daff, you achieved your goal
of being a hero.
1065
01:23:07,107 --> 01:23:09,525
Yep, but you didn't achieve your goal...
1066
01:23:09,693 --> 01:23:13,321
...of getting me back in your stupid movie.
Aha!
1067
01:23:13,489 --> 01:23:16,199
Cut. Print. That's a wrap.
That's it, guys.
1068
01:23:16,366 --> 01:23:18,910
Remind me to get a new agent, will you?
1069
01:23:19,077 --> 01:23:20,328
Thanks.
1070
01:23:20,996 --> 01:23:23,581
Wait a minute. Maybe we are a team.
1071
01:23:23,749 --> 01:23:27,335
Bugs and Daffy. No, Daffy and Bugs.
What do you think?
1072
01:23:32,299 --> 01:23:34,175
Excuse me, do you remember me?
1073
01:23:34,343 --> 01:23:37,512
I, uh, threatened your manliness,
and you got me fired?
1074
01:23:37,679 --> 01:23:39,805
Oh, I know you.
1075
01:23:39,973 --> 01:23:41,349
Do I know him?
1076
01:23:41,725 --> 01:23:45,269
You must be someone that I got fired.
See, I get a lot of people fired. Ha, ha.
1077
01:23:47,147 --> 01:23:49,690
- You be good now.
- So like I said...
1078
01:23:52,486 --> 01:23:55,488
Not again. He's down again.
Are you okay?
1079
01:23:55,697 --> 01:23:57,823
Come on.
He said he can do stunts.
1080
01:23:57,991 --> 01:23:59,450
Bugs is here. Gotta go.
1081
01:23:59,618 --> 01:24:00,952
Daffy, you're right.
1082
01:24:01,119 --> 01:24:03,246
- The usual place, Mr. Bunny?
- Very good.
1083
01:24:03,413 --> 01:24:07,250
From now on, you and I are going to be
equal partners in this thing.
1084
01:24:07,417 --> 01:24:09,502
No more second banana for you.
1085
01:24:09,962 --> 01:24:12,838
Thanks, pal. I really appreciate this.
1086
01:24:13,006 --> 01:24:15,424
At last my star is rising.
1087
01:24:15,592 --> 01:24:18,553
All my hopes and aspirations... Whoops.
1088
01:24:22,849 --> 01:24:25,935
What do you know?
My luck is changing already.
1089
01:24:33,235 --> 01:24:36,821
Good night, Porky. See you tomorrow.
1090
01:24:36,989 --> 01:24:38,906
Uh, go home, folks.
82873
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.