Original subtitles

Previously on The Summer I Turned Pretty...

My family's been going

to Susannah's beach house in Cousins

every summer since I was a baby.

Look who came back all growed up.

Susannah told me that when I was born

she knew I was destined for one of her boys.

I always hoped it would be Conrad.

I wrangled Belly an invitation

to be a debutante. Now, which one of you

is gonna be Belly's escort to the ball?

Uh, so, are you and Jeremiah

like a-a thing?

They're like basically related.

I'm not going with either of you.

I am going to find my own date.

I don't know what to think about you this summer.

You have new friends, you have a boyfriend. I don't even know

- who you are anymore. - Is that why you threw yourself on my brother?

So that you could get back at me?

My heart's beating really fast.

You're having a panic attack.

It's my mom.

I know you said you didn't want to do chemo, but...

I'm not putting myself through treatment again.

I'm gonna tell the kids when we get back to Boston.

Why are you acting so different? I mean, something's going on.

- Just tell me. - Belly, I think about you.

I do, you know I do. I just can't.

You're my best friend.

There were times I wanted to be more.

I was just waiting.

I mean, how am I supposed

to fully jump into something with Jeremiah

if a piece of my heart still beats for his brother?

Will you go with me to the deb ball?

Hey, does my mom seem okay to you?

I heard your parents talk about it,

and your mom seemed really upset.

Hey, have you guys seen Jeremiah?

Conrad,

we need to talk, all right?

It's important, it's about Mom.

You've known this whole fucking time,

you didn't tell me?

I told them I'd do the trial.

It's going to work.

Belly, I'm sorry for being so shitty all summer.

I mean, you were going through all this alone.

You... I wish you had told me so you didn't have to.

No matter what happens next,

I will always come back to this place

and these people.

♪ You live in my dream state ♪

♪ Relocate my fantasy ♪

♪ I stay in reality ♪

♪ You live in my dream state ♪

♪ 20/20, 20/20 vision ♪

♪ Cupid hit me, Cupid hit me with precision...

You're back.

I'm back.

♪ When you cross my mind ♪

♪ I said, I said I'm sick of, sick of, sick of ♪

- ♪ Sick of chasing ♪ - I get it, you guys are into each other.

♪ Running through my daydream ♪

Don't listen to him, you two are perfect together.

♪ When I close my eyes ♪

♪ Can I get a kiss? ♪

♪ And can you make it last forever? ♪

♪ I said I'm 'bout to go to war ♪

♪ And I don't know if I'm-a see you again ♪♪

I wasn't in Cousins.

Conrad and I weren't together,

and Susannah was dead.

Nothing would ever be the same again.

Hey, you-you dropped this.

Conklin.

What?

I said you dropped this, Conklin.

You're reading The Hunger Games

- in-in French. - Trying to.

I almost know the English version by heart,

so it's... it's not that difficult to follow.

Very cool.

Thanks.

Escaping to your dreams is easier than

living with your memories.

It's the being awake that's the hard part.

This almost doesn't feel real.

How 'bout now?

I can't stop smiling.

You know, you have the prettiest smile

I've ever seen.

Your whole face just lights up.

I wanted to say that to you all summer.

Uh... there's something that

I need to tell you.

I don't even know how.

- Um... - Okay. What is it?

We can figure it out.

I, um, a few days ago,

Jeremiah told me he had feelings for me.

Oh.

Wow, okay.

So what did you say?

I kissed him a few times.

So, um...

So when we both came to pick you and Taylor up

from the side of the road, you know,

and you went with Jere,

- were you two already...? - Yeah.

You know, but there were

moments this summer where I thought maybe

there could be something with you and me, and then,

- you know, you shut down. - No, I know.

- I know. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - And I get it. I get it.

It's all my fault, I know.

I mean, it's mine, too.

Do you want to be with him?

Being with you is all I've ever wanted.

Okay, that's great. Be with me, then.

What?!

What, is that funny?

No, I'm sorry, it's just weird.

I mean, everyone in our house knows that I've had a crush

on you ever since, like...

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

You have a crush on me?

Shut up.

You're it for me, Belly.

- I don't want to hurt Jere. - Me neither.

Look, I'll talk to him.

He might not even be that upset, you know?

It's Jere. He never takes anything too seriously.

It's not...

It's not like how it is with us.

Uh, I'll talk to him first.

I owe him that.

Okay.

Shh.

Somebody's up.

Early morning walk on the beach?

Uh, yeah.

Mm-hmm.

I knew it. I knew it.

I'm gonna go...

- Yeah. - Yeah. Okay.

Sit down.

So?

Mom, just let me change first.

All right, enjoy your summer.

No, but seriously, it's gonna be wild.

It's the best team we've had in years.

Oh, I made us these matching crop tops.

They're pink, obviously, and I got a bunch of new kneepads.

- Ooh, kneepads, Taylor. - Shut up.

Hey, Bells.

It's not too late to sign up for volleyball camp, you know.

Um...

Oh, high school is over, bitches!

- Whoo! - You're such a clown, Steven.

- What? - Hey, if I were going to Princeton,

I'd be screaming about it, too.

- Thank you, Evelyn. - Wait.

Are you going to Princeton? That's so cool, I couldn't tell.

Oh, you-you couldn't tell? I love you, too.

Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, Steven.

Spike, what's up, man?

What time's the grad party tomorrow, man?

The band comes on at 10:00. I'm dating the singer.

Uh, yeah, the Machine Gun Kelly wannabe.

I tried to veto him from playing,

but I guess we couldn't find anybody cheaper.

Oh...

Wait. So, are you coming to the party?

Uh, I don't know.

Belly. Belly.

Can I talk to you for a minute, please?

I... I gotta go.

- Okay. - See ya.

- Bye. - Sorry.

Bye.

Belly,

I was reviewing your end-of-term transcripts,

and I couldn't help but notice that you grades have

taken a serious dive.

I mean, you kept an A in French,

but you won't impress colleges with just French.

Is there something going on?

There was a death in the family.

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that.

But your grades have been dipping all year.

You even got your volleyball captaincy revoked?

Yeah, I-I choked at regionals.

Okay, well, have you, um...

have you thought about where you're gonna apply next year?

Um, I mean, I know I'm not getting into an Ivy,

but there's always Penn State.

That might be a reach at this point.

Without volleyball, you'll have to focus on

less competitive schools.

Have you heard about Finch?

Um, yeah, I know someone who's going there in the fall.

A family friend.

Great. Well, maybe you can visit them and grab a tour.

I doubt it.

Come in.

Good morning, Bells.

- Hey. - Come here.

So, I stayed up all night doing research

on the trial my mom agreed to.

And, Belly, I-I'm feeling really hopeful.

That's-that's great, Jere.

I mean, I'm so glad that Susannah agreed to do it.

Yeah. I mean, if I'm being honest,

I'm still kind of pissed Conrad never told me

what was going on with her, but...

you know, at least it worked out, right?

Right.

That's kind of why I think we should tell Conrad about us

as soon as possible.

I don't want any more secrets,

and plus, Steven already knows.

Mm.

Actually, that...

that's what I wanted to talk to you about.

- Okay. - See, um,

the thing is, um, last night

I really couldn't sleep all night

so I went to...

watch the sunrise on the beach.

And Conrad was there, and we just started talking,

and one thing led to another,

and-and, um, and we... we kissed.

You kissed my brother?

I'm sorry. I didn't think that, you know,

like, he...

I mean, we wanted to tell you right away, so...

You're already a "we"?

No, no, no. I-I just didn't,

- I didn't want it to be weird. - Well, yeah, Belly,

it is weird, okay?

- No, Jere, please. I mean... - No. No, you know what,

actually, it's cool. It's cool, I get it.

You know, I was just the distraction

to keep you busy while you waited for Conrad.

I'm glad it finally happened for you, Belly.

It's great timing. It's not like my mom

has cancer or anything.

Jere, I didn't want to hurt you.

- You're one of my best friends. - No!

No, you don't, you don't get to call me that.

You don't mean that.

I do.

Now, can you please get out?

And just so you know,

he's gonna break your heart.

We should already be in the car.

Coming!

Hey, is this okay?

I swear I left the tickets here.

I thought your dad was meeting us there.

Will you... Shoot, I forgot to make the reservation for lunch.

Yeah, I figured, so I did it.

They're not gonna start without me. We've got time.

I was supposed to iron that shirt for you.

- Take it off, and... - Oh, it's-it's handled.

It's handled. See? I used the starch spray

that makes it look real smooth, huh?

Oh, is that for me?

Sweet, a laptop?

Well, who sent this? What?

Oh, my God.

It's from Susannah.

She must have planned it before.

Classic Beck.

I wish she could have been here.

Conrad and Jeremiah, too.

They were busy.

Yeah, sure.

I feel awful.

I mean, he was so angry at us.

And he has every right to be, honestly.

It's gonna be okay, Belly, I promise.

How?

I think maybe we should hit pause.

What?

No.

I don't want to make things harder for you guys

- than they already are. - You're not.

- I promise. - The most important thing right now

is that you and Jeremiah are there for each other,

are there for Susannah. And...

Us being together would make that impossible.

Belly, come on.

I can't do that to him.

I hate this.

Yeah, me, too.

Um...

...this was always yours.

No matter what happens,

we'll still be infinite.

You should read this.

Later. We should go.

Found them. Come on.

They say...

that everything happens for a reason.

Now, who "they" are, exactly, is unclear.

Maybe a theologian coined it.

Or, I don't know, whoever configured the simulation

we're clearly living in.

Maybe it was Rihanna.

No, no,

Rihanna can do no wrong.

It was definitely not her.

But we've heard it time and time again.

It's supposed to convince us,

you know, that everything had to happen exactly so,

in order to teach us something about ourselves,

in order for us to grow and meet our destiny.

I think that's BS.

I'm sorry, Mom, sorry.

You know, breakups don't always lead to breakthroughs.

Sometimes a girl dumps you after an awesome summer,

and it sucks.

And you learn nothing from it,

but you eventually force yourself to move on anyways.

But then the unthinkable happens,

and you realize it's pointless to think of life that way.

Belly...

Hey, I never see you in here.

Your mom assigned me this room to clean.

It's the easiest, since I don't think she set foot

in here once to do any writing this summer.

Don't you hire cleaners anyway?

Shh.

I love that necklace on you.

Connie told me everything that happened with the three of you.

- I'm sorry. - Don't be sorry.

It's not how I wanted the summer to end.

Especially not...

I just feel like I'm losing everyone.

You're not.

It just takes time.

You'll find your way back to each other eventually.

And this place is always here for you.

Yeah, but you've made every summer here

so magical, Susannah.

I mean, what happens, what happens...

Belly...

you love this place the same way I do.

If anyone can keep the magic going here, it's you.

You're my special girl.

I need to call the cleaners.

Promise me you'll never leave me.

Never.

Because everything just happens.

You know, good things, bad things,

all in ways that you'd never expect.

All in ways that are so completely

out of your control that they could just

drive you insane.

There are times where it feels like

the world is happening to you, but remember

that you are also happening to the world.

So don't wait. Make what you want happen.

Because tomorrow isn't promised, so you better make fucking sure

that you are living today.

Whoo!

Whoo!

He's so extra.

Although he did earn it with that speech.

- It was good. - Yeah.

That speech kind of pierced my soul.

Don't laugh.

No, no, I'm sorry.

No, I feel like I've been in this nightmare

ever since Susannah died.

Maybe it's time to wake up.

Oh, I gotta go find Milo.

He needs my help putting together a look for tonight.

Oh. Cool.

Um, do you want to come over after and help me with mine?

No fucking way. Are you coming?

- Yeah. Yes. - Really?

Yeah. And I'm... I'm gonna sign up

for varsity volleyball camp, too.

Yes! Oh, my God!

Babe, this party is gonna be insane.

Like, you are going to die when you see Milo play.

Uh, no, yeah. I mean, you literally might,

'cause, whew, man, I could smell him from the podium.

- Really? - Yeah.

Well, I'm sorry, excuse me.

My man doesn't have that Korean gene

that makes you have no body odor.

Okay, all right, come on, Belly.

- Okay, great. Bye. - Mom and Dad are meeting us

- at the restaurant. - Bye. - See you later.

It was a great speech.

Susannah would have loved it.

Yeah, I know.

You know, I'm glad you guys are coming to the party tonight.

Wow! I can't believe what I'm hearing.

You really want me and Taylor at your party?

Well, I never said "want."

I just...

I just think it's better than moping around at home.

- You should drive. - Really?

I gotta read all the love in my DMs from my speech anyway,

so... all right, come on.

Yo, this is dope. I'm going viral on TikTok.

Is that a good thing?

What, millions of people around the world

watching my speech on a loop?

Yes, Dad, that is a very good thing.

I gotta forward this to Con and Jere, man.

- Thank you so much. - Thank you.

Oh, uh, I'm sorry, could I get a box for all this?

Yeah. Thank you, man.

Thank you.

"Happiness is an activity."

Um, okay.

Okay, well, "Everyone agrees you are the best."

- It doesn't say that. No. - It's so random.

Yeah, it literally says it right here.

It literally says it right here.

- You want to see it? - Yeah.

You want to see it? Look, I don't know

what you want from me.

It says it right there.

I know we keep telling you.

We're so proud of you.

You're gonna have the time of your life at Princeton.

- Right, Laur? - Yeah, I loved college.

That's where I met Susannah.

So, how are things going with your book?

My publisher is hounding me to do this meet and greet event

with booksellers. I said no.

Why?

Because it's not necessary.

Okay,

uh, well, it's time for me to go get ready for the party.

Mom, mwah. Dad, mwah. Thank you for lunch.

I'm gonna go with him. Uh, it was delicious. Thank you.

- I love you. - All right, have fun, kids.

- See you at home. - Yup.

So you're not trying to promote your book?

I'm not gonna have schmoozy conversations about Susannah

just to get prime placement in bookstores.

Well, you did write a whole book about her.

It might feel cathartic.

I wrote the book in a fugue state.

I have no interest in dissecting it

just to come up with pithy insights on grief.

Okay.

Glad the whole "not going to therapy" thing

is working out for you.

Thank you.

Look, you wrote a beautiful book.

I think Susannah would want you to share it with the world.

She was always my biggest cheerleader.

Guess now I have to be my own.

I'll wear the skirt, but I draw the line at pom-poms.

I am so excited that you're finally here this summer.

Can we do, like, everything that we never got to do together?

Like parties, pool, mall?

We have to get you a fake I.D.

Let's start by figuring out what I'm gonna wear tonight.

- Uh, okay. - Okay.

Susannah's earrings?

They're perfect.

Okay.

Since my man is playing tonight,

I'm gonna need you to be the super-hot friend

standing next to his super-hot girlfriend.

Yeah, let's get super-hot.

I love it when you agree with me.

Um, I'm thinking this.

That's what you call super-hot?

This looks so good on you.

No, no, I've got to have something better.

Uh, okay.

Mm-mm.

No.

The call came the second week of September,

three weeks since the last time I'd seen him.

It felt like a dream. Unreal.

♪ I've learned to love me as myself ♪

♪ But when I'm with...

Hey.

Hey.

I, uh, didn't

expect to hear from you.

Yeah, is it okay that I'm, that I'm calling?

I shouldn't have called. This was dumb.

- I'm sorry. - No, no, no, no, it's okay.

Um... we're still friends, right?

Yeah, yeah. We're friends, yeah.

Yeah, and, um, friends can talk on the phone.

Yeah, yeah. Nothing weird about

friends talking on the phone.

♪ Or none of me at all...

Uh, so how's... how's college life?

Um, it's cool, it's cool.

My roommate snores even louder than you do. Which...

Oh, come on.

- I don't snore. - Yes, you do.

You a thousand percent do.

I've heard you through the walls for years.

Only when you're really tired, though.

How's school for you?

Boring. Painful.

I mean, like, no, no, who invented trig,

and why do they torture innocent high school students with it?

It can't be that bad.

No, oh, it's-it's bad. It's-it's really bad.

I mean, I can't keep up with all the letters.

Well, you know, the first thing you gotta do is determine

if it's a right angle triangle or not.

Belly, have you seen

my, uh, big kettle bell? The 20-pound one?

Steven, I'm on the phone.

Well, tell Taylor to go to bed.

Hi, Steven.

♪ Don't be afraid...

Hey, Conrad.

It's not in here.

Go away.

Sorry about that.

Okay, um...

what were you saying about triangles again?

Um, so if it's not a right angle triangle...

♪ If you love me ♪♪

Okay, if you want to wear the T-shirt,

you know, we should at least crop it.

It was Conrad's.

You know, every time I think of him

I still get this, like, pain in my chest.

Oh, I know. It sucks, babe,

but eventually you're gonna have to let him go.

Yeah, I just wish I knew how.

It's like my meemaw always used to say:

the best way to get over a man is to get under a new one.

Heading to a grad party?

Yeah. Mine.

Me and the guys are throwing it, remember?

Oh, right. Well, have fun.

And don't drink and drive.

Oh, don't worry, I promised Steven

I'd be the sober driver.

Oh, and I ordered you a pizza, okay, so please eat it.

Don't worry about me. Go.

- All right. I love you. - Bye. - Love you.

- Be safe. - Bye, love you.

Bye.

♪ Bad chick, I could be your fantasy ♪

♪ I can tell you got big, big energy ♪

♪ It ain't too many of 'em that can handle me ♪

♪ But I might let you try it off the Hennessy ♪

♪ Make 'em sing to this thang like a melody ♪

♪ And if your girl ain't right, I got the remedy...

Oh, my God. Milo!

- Hi. - Oh, God.

Thank God you're here.

Come here.

- Mmm. - Oh, my God.

So I need to be able to see you when I'm up onstage.

- Yeah. - All right. So stay up close?

- Okay. Yeah. Mm-hmm. - Yeah?

- My boy! - Yeah!

Uh, you call this a party?

Where are all the hot ladies you promised?

Uh, we're literally standing right here.

Oh, uh, no offense. I'm into older women.

Personal preference.

Hey, babe, I'm gonna go help the guys

- finish setting up, all right? - Okay. All right.

Bye.

Okay, well, have fun, everybody.

I gotta go make the rounds, entertain the people.

You know, host shit.

- Okay. - Come on, Spike.

You're so cute tonight, you know that?

Come on, let's go get some drinks.

I can't drink, I'm driving.

Okay.

- What? - Oh, my God, but camp

is gonna be so much fun.

I bought us all matching PJs.

Oh, you are going to need to buy one more set.

Guess who finally decided to join us.

The Killa B is gonna have her captaincy back

from Donna in, like, no time.

- You know what I mean? - Yeah, right?

But Coach Shaw is okay with it?

You know, you coming back?

I actually haven't talked to Coach yet.

I wanted to talk to you guys first.

I mean, after last season, I-I totally don't blame you

if you don't want me back on the team.

Oh, shut up. You're always one of us.

Yes! Right answer.

Bump, set, hit, spike.

That's the way we like to fight!

- Come on. - Come on, team...

...let's hear you scream!

Yeah.

And for you. There we are. Oh, my God.

- Mmm. Holy shit. Oh, my God. - Fuck.

Ooh, it's game point, Ms. Conklin.

Bye-bye, Conrad.

Hey, you still there?

So...

My roommate Trusky...

Oh, did he sleepwalk in his underwear again?

No, he didn't, he didn't, thankfully.

But we were talking, and it turns out

he's a 5G conspiracist.

So apparently,

that guy that Katie was seeing had a girlfriend

the whole time.

And it just sucks.

Like, he didn't really seem like the type, you know?

Did you know my dad cheated?

Adam cheated on Susannah?

Yeah. The first time my mom was sick,

he had an affair

with his secretary Kayleigh.

I found out about it last spring

on, like, the same day I found out

about my mom's cancer coming back.

How'd you find out?

Um, I came home early from school one day and...

heard them fighting.

She was crying so much, Belly. She...

I've never heard her cry like that before.

So I left.

I went back out, I drove around town for two hours

and came back and pretended not to know anything.

I'm so sorry.

It sucks that you had to carry that secret for so long.

Yeah, it was just exhausting.

I-I couldn't turn my brain off.

It was like if you do that, then this horrible thing is

gonna happen, but if you do this,

then, you know, this catastrophic thing will happen.

Oh, my God, that sounds

so stressful.

Oh, goddamn it, it's 2:00.

You said you have practice early, I should let you go.

Uh...

yeah, um, off-season workouts suck,

but there's a rumor that

a college scout from Finch is coming to watch

our club team play this weekend.

And there's a chance Coach might make me captain.

What? That's crazy.

I'll definitely let you go. I didn't know that.

Five more minutes?

- Yeah. Okay, I'll-I'll do it. - Yeah.

I'm gonna do it.

- Yeah? - Oh, yeah.

- Yeah, okay. - What are you waiting for?

- I'm actually doing it. Bye. - Now go.

Good luck.

Wow, you're, uh, really good at

operating a keg.

Wow. Hi, Conklin. Oh, um...

Comment vont Katniss et Peeta?

Uh... En péril mortel, comme d'habitude.

I didn't know you took French.

Oui. Want one?

No, no, I'm okay, thanks.

Uh, I'm the DD tonight.

- Cheers. - Cheers.

♪ I could spend my life ♪

♪ In this sweet surrender ♪

♪ I could stay lost in this moment ♪

- ♪ Forever ♪ - Whoo!

♪ And every moment spent with you ♪

♪ Is a moment I treasure ♪

♪ I don't want to close my eyes ♪

♪ I don't want to fall asleep ♪

♪ 'Cause I'd miss you, baby ♪

♪ And I don't want to miss a thing...

You want to know something so romantic?

Milo wrote this song for me.

It's a cover.

Of that song from the movie Armageddon?

Oh. Well, it's still romantic.

Okay, wait, don't make me beg you for details.

What did you and Cory talk about?

Uh, the book I'm reading.

I'm sorry, you suck at talking to guys.

Okay, I'm rusty,

and also, he's the one who brought it up.

- He spoke to me in French. - French? What?

In French? Okay, that's so hot.

Like, he sounds obsessed with you.

Yeah, I don't know. I mean, that convo

took so much effort.

Like, is it supposed to be that hard?

I mean, look with you and Milo.

You guys just make sense.

♪ I don't want to close my eyes...

Well, Milo and I are soul mates.

♪ 'Cause I'd miss you, baby ♪

♪ And I don't want to miss a thing ♪

♪ 'Cause even when I dream of you ♪

♪ The sweetest dream would never do ♪

♪ I'd still miss you, baby ♪

♪ And I don't want to miss a thing ♪

Yeah.

♪ Can we forget about ♪

♪ The things I said when I was drunk? ♪

♪ I didn't mean to call you that ♪

♪ I can't remember what was said or what you threw at me ♪

♪ Please tell me ♪

♪ Please tell me why...

Belly. I'm gonna crowd-surf.

Hold my shirt for a second, and make sure

- no one spills anything on it. - Ew, Steven!

No, I don't want to hold your sweaty T-shirt.

Whoo!

Yeah!

- What the hell, Steven? - Are you okay?

Uh, Belly, I'm sorry.

No, yeah, I'm good. I'm totally fine.

I'm just, uh... I'm gonna go get a drink.

Well, you're my sober driver, Belly Belle.

- Don't let me down. - Steven!

♪ It's no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy ♪♪

I had this weird thought today.

Yeah? I love weird thoughts.

I was thinking

if my dad had cheated on my mom,

she probably wouldn't have even cared.

- Is that harsh? - No.

But do you really think Laurel wouldn't have a reaction?

I mean, kinda.

Like, nothing about my dad ever excited her. You know?

They were, like, never romantic around each other.

And you want to see your parents being romantic?

Maybe.

I mean, I just can't imagine marrying someone

who didn't give me fireworks.

You know, like, like electric jolts every time I saw them.

Were you surprised when you found out your parents

were getting divorced?

Uh, yes and no. I mean,

I always thought divorce meant fighting, you know?

And there was none of that.

I mean, they were cold for a little while, but, um...

...now everything's kind of back to normal.

In a weird way, that must almost be

a little harder to understand.

Exactly.

Ooh, well...

What?

I don't know.

Just never said any of this to anyone before.

Me either.

Hey, can I ask you something?

Anything.

Um, how's-how's Jere? Is he, is he doing okay?

Um, yeah, yeah, he seems good. Why?

I don't know, I texted him a few times since summer ended,

and, uh, he never writes back.

Yeah, no, I mean, he's probably just busy

with senior year stuff.

Right, right, right. Or, you know,

it's that he'll never get over what I did

and hold it against me for the rest of our lives.

- Belly - Never mind.

Forget I said anything.

I learned something kinda cool.

- Tell me. - Did you know

that Venus is an evening star

for 263 days out of the year?

And then it disappears from the sky for 50 days

before returning as a morning star

for another 263 days.

I did not know that.

That is very cool.

And right now it's an evening star.

It's really bright next to the moon.

I'm actually looking at it right now.

It's-it's probably against the rules to say this,

but, um, I wish we were looking at it together.

Me, too.

And, Belly?

Yes, Conrad?

I couldn't be with someone

who didn't make me feel electric either.

♪ I am my own worst enemy ♪

♪ 'Cause every now and then ♪

♪ I kick the living shit out of me ♪

♪ Can we forget about the things I said ♪

♪ When I was drunk? ♪

♪ I didn't mean to call you that ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

Hey.

Hey, Conklin.

Hey. Long time no see, huh?

Yeah. No, I know, it's been ages, right?

Yeah.

Is that seat taken?

Uh, no, no.

- Go right ahead. - Yeah.

I wonder if Venus is a morning star or an evening star tonight.

I think Venus is a planet.

No, actually, ancient astronomers, um...

- You know what? Never mind. - Okay.

- It's dumb. - All right.

You know, you can hardly see any stars

this close to the city anyway.

There's a lot more by the beach.

I used to spend every summer at this beach in Massachusetts.

Hmm.

Are you going this summer?

Uh, no. No, I'm not.

So then you'll be here for the Fourth, huh?

Well, my folks are gonna be out of town,

and I was thinking about having a few people over.

You and your friends should totally come.

That-that sounds cool.

All right. Cool.

Come here.

- You kinda have something... - Really?

Yeah. Hold on.

Uh...

- Belly, no. I was just... - Do I...

- Oh, my God, no... - No, I was just trying...

- You have something in your... - I have something in my...

- Yeah. - You know why? Because I just...

It's grass. 'Cause I just got kicked in the head.

- That's why. - Holy shit.

But no, no, I'm totally fine.

- I'm just, um, I'm gonna go. - Oh, my God.

- Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Um, hey, Belly, actually... - Yes. Yeah?

Could you do me a favor?

Could you put in a good word for me with, uh...

with your friend Marcy?

Yeah. Marcy?

- Yeah. - Yes. And you. That makes sense.

- Yeah, that'd be great. - Yeah.

- I totally will. You guys... - Cool. Thank you.

Thank you for this. Yes, okay, bye.

♪ I said I hit the elevator, made it to the top fast...

Belly. Belly, come here.

Hey, sis. Sis, sis, check it out,

check it out, check it out.

- Oh! - Oh!

Oh, my God.

I can't believe you did that.

This party sucks.

Dude, it's beer, man. It'll dry. Chill.

I'm leaving, okay?

Wait, wait, did something happen?

No, nothing happened. Whatever.

Steven, can you just get Spike to drive you home, please?

Spike? No, Spike-Spike is drunk.

You-you promised to be my sober ride tonight.

Okay, well, I'm ready to go now.

Okay, well, I'm not.

Great. Then can you just call an Uber or something?

Why are you being such a buzzkill right now?

Oh, I'm sorry, am I ruining your fun night,

Mr. Perfect Valedictorian?

Kinda, yeah.

Okay, well, in case you forgot,

which it clearly seems like you did,

Susannah just died, so I'm a little bit sad.

But please, don't let that stop you from

- having the time of your life. - Fuck you.

You know, I lost Susannah, too.

Okay? You don't think I'm sad about that?

Oh, what, were you crowd-surfing the pain away?

- My apologies. - No, you should apologize.

You screwed up, and now everything is weird with Conrad

and Jeremiah. I mean, they won't even text me back anymore

- because of you. - Okay, guys, listen...

- That is not my fault. - Isn't it?! Hmm?

I should be celebrating with them tonight,

but they wouldn't come because you made things messy.

You had Jeremiah, and it just wasn't enough.

You had to have Conrad, too.

- God, you are so fucking selfish. - Steven!

- What? - Are you serious? - I had to have Conrad?

Are you kidding?

I was in love, Steven.

Like out of my mind in love.

What was I supposed to do?!

Belly.

- Belly. - Steven.

Hey.

Steven is a drunk idiot right now.

- Please do not listen to him. - No, no.

He's right. I mean, I ruined things with both of them,

and then Susannah died,

and I completely ruined her funeral.

And I just, I wish I hadn't started any of it.

- No, you don't. - Yes, I do.

- No, you don't... - Yes, I do.

And I'm so tired of feeling sad all the time,

and I just, I don't think I get to feel better.

You think that right now, but I promise you...

No, no, no, no, no, no. Nothing is promised.

You can't promise anything. Sorry.

I'm sorry. I just, I know you're trying your best.

I don't, I don't expect anyone to understand

what I'm going through right now,

and I think I just have to deal with it alone.

I'm gonna go.

- I can come with you. - No, no, no, no, no.

Stay. I mean, it's your boyfriend's debut,

and I just...

I just need to go to bed.

Will you text me when you get home, please?

Yeah.

- I love you. - I love you.

Okay.

♪ I got my driver's license last week ♪

♪ Just like we always talked about ♪

♪ 'Cause you were so excited for me ♪

♪ To finally drive up to your house ♪

♪ But today I drove through the suburbs ♪

♪ Crying 'cause you weren't around ♪

♪ All my friends are tired ♪

♪ Of hearing how much I miss you ♪

♪ But I kind of feel sorry for them ♪

♪ 'Cause they'll never know you the way that I do ♪

♪ Yeah, today I drove through the suburbs ♪

♪ And pictured I was driving home to you ♪

♪ And I know we weren't perfect ♪

♪ But I've never felt this way ♪

♪ For no one ♪

♪ Oh, and I just can't imagine ♪

♪ How you could be so okay ♪

♪ Now that I'm gone ♪

♪ I guess you didn't mean what you wrote ♪

♪ In that song about me ♪

♪ 'Cause you said forever ♪

♪ Now I drive alone past your street ♪

♪ You said forever ♪

♪ Now I drive alone past your street ♪♪

Hey. Happy almost Halloween.

Conrad.

I know I'm not supposed to be here,

but I'm here.

I brought candy.

- Do you want me to go? - No, no, no.

Um, don't leave, just, um...

Where... What are you doing here?

Um, I wanted to see you.

- So... - Yeah, yeah, um...

- you know, but I thought... - Wait, no, I know, I know

you... you were worried about Jere, but, look,

I had a chance to talk to him,

and he's doing really good, actually.

He's, um, he's going on dates, you know.

And, um, he's been on this high ever since

- he got made homecoming king. - That's great.

- So, um, he's over... - Yeah.

I think he is.

Belly, I don't think I could ever get over you.

I mean, I'm not. I'm here.

Whenever I talk to you, I'm just happy.

And I gotta say,

standing in front of you right now, it's torture

not being able to kiss you.

- Belly, we need to talk. - I'm kinda tired.

Sit down.

You didn't eat?

Your guidance counselor emailed me.

I didn't know you lost your volleyball captaincy,

or that your grades were so bad.

Yeah, sorry, I'm not getting in to Princeton like Steven.

That's not what I'm saying. You can do better than this.

I'm really disappointed in you.

Sorry, Mom. You know, Susannah died, remember?

You don't get to use Susannah's death as an excuse.

This whole year's been hard for me, too.

You were barely here.

And I don't blame you for being there for Susannah and the boys.

They needed you. But you can't blame me either

for things that happened because you were away.

This isn't about blame.

This is about you and the choices you made.

It's about taking responsibility for yourself,

even when things are hard.

Life keeps going. You can't just give up.

You want to talk about taking responsibility?

You won't even promote your book

because you refuse to talk about Susannah.

You can't just suddenly be concerned about volleyball

when you haven't gone to

a single one of my games this year.

I waited all year for you to step up

and be a parent.

You gave up way before I did.

♪ Need to get this album done ♪

♪ Need a couple number ones...

Do you have to do that at every stop?

It is kicking up my gag reflex.

If you'd rather walk, we can let you out right here.

Probably safer, honestly.

Hey, you don't gotta worry, man.

I'm fully sober.

Fucking Belly, man!

Taking my car and-and leaving me stranded

at my own party, who does that?

I don't know. Who yells at their own sister

in front of everyone for being sad?

- She yelled at me first. - Okay.

So mature of you, Steven. How about you try

some compassion next time, asshole?

Aren't you supposed to, like, come together in grief?

Life cannot be separated from death.

Wow. You're so helpful, man. Thank you.

Milo is very in touch with his emotions.

That's what makes him a great musician.

Aww, thanks, babe.

You know, I actually have a record label

interested in signing me.

- What?! - Yeah. Check it out.

Cancel Culture Records.

Babe, they only have one post.

That's what's so punk about it.

Yeah, dude. Congrats, man. Congrats.

Oh...

"My darling Steven,

congratulations on your graduation.

This is the start of what is sure to be

an exceptional journey.

I wish I could be there to watch you shine,

but you have an extraordinary mom

who will be with you every step of the way.

Remember, the world is not only happening to you,

but you are happening to the world.

And don't forget to enjoy the ride.

Love, Susannah"

Hey, I know it's late,

but about the bookseller event.

I changed my mind. I'll do it.

I knew I'd lose Susannah eventually.

I just didn't know I'd end up losing all of them.

In my memory, the three of them will always be entwined,

forever linked.

There can't be one without the others.

♪ I still remember ♪

♪ The look on your face...

And now they're all gone.

♪ At 1:58 ♪

♪ The words that you whispered ♪

♪ For just us to know ♪

♪ You told me you loved me ♪

♪ So why did you go ♪

♪ Away? ♪

♪ Away ♪

♪ Just like our last ♪♪

Belly?

Hi, Jeremiah. I'm so glad...

Are you with Conrad?

Uh, no.

Why would I be with Conrad?

I don't know, I just thought maybe you guys would, um...

Jere...

What is going on?

Conrad's gone.

Wait, what do you... what do you mean gone?

He's not answering my texts or picking up my calls.

- Since when? - Yesterday.

I mean, isn't he in the middle of finals? Maybe...

he pulled an all-nighter at the library.

No, no, I don't think so.

Apparently he told his roommate that everything is fucked,

and then he just took off.

I think I'm gonna go to Brown in the morning

and see if I can track him down.

I'll never get Susannah back,

but I can't let Jeremiah and Conrad go, too.

Okay.

But I'm coming with you.

♪ Yeah, I saw you dancing in a crowded room ♪

♪ You look so happy when I'm not with you ♪

♪ But then you saw me, caught you by surprise ♪

♪ A single teardrop falling from your eye ♪

♪ I don't know why I run away ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ I make you cry when I run away ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Take me back 'cause I want to stay ♪

♪ Save your tears for another ♪

♪ Save your tears for another day ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Save your tears for another day ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ I don't know why ♪

♪ I run away ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ I'll make you cry when I run away ♪

♪ Save your tears ♪

♪ For another day ♪

♪ Ooh, girl ♪

♪ I said save your tears ♪

♪ For another day ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Save your tears for another day ♪

♪ Ah ♪

♪ Save your tears for another day ♪♪