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“3D Sex and Zen : Extreme Ecstasy”
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The Amarus Bamboo Temple on the Condensing Cliff
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is the most renowned temple on Emei Mountain
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lt is especially popular among people
from western Sichuan
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lt is in its incense heyday
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The Guanyin Hall on the right houses
a Bodhisattva statue
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designed by the famous artist wu Daozi
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which dates back to 800 years ago
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The Guanyin is known to have answered
to faithful's prayers positively
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Thus, there are countless believers
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kneeling and praying to the statue
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asking for a son, health
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or evil spirits to be warded off
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Remember, listen to instructions and be obedient
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then you will grow up fast and strong
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Understand?
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Yes
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Are you asking about your family?
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Let me figure it out
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Okay
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00:02:03,623 --> 00:02:05,352
we will come back later to repay our gratitude
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He really answers our prayers
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Go away, go!
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Get out!
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This is crazy. what's going on?
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How dare he blaspheme against Guanyin!
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You will be damned by the Gods!
Beat him... beat him to death!
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This is sacrilegious
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00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:15,654
The ashes is hot!!
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Let's go...
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00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:36,446
what is true happiness?
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Happiness today is the cause of future misery
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Future misery is the result
of the happiness today
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Having said that
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l still prefer happiness today
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00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:52,088
l disagree
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00:03:52,532 --> 00:03:54,124
Just like the Prince of Ning
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who leads a hideously luxurious life
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He collects the world's most precious
objects and people
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But do you think he's happy?
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while he gratifies his endless desire
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cries of discontent arise among the people
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How could he be happy and at ease
while his people are suffering?
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00:04:10,316 --> 00:04:11,340
How can you compare a scumbag like him
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to a sophisticated scholar like me?
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00:04:13,686 --> 00:04:15,984
l won't just let go of this incident
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Lin, don't you think
we're too young to get married?
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00:04:39,212 --> 00:04:41,203
we still haven't fooled around enough
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l'm sure you'd regret it
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00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:44,640
lf l have a lovely wife
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l wouldn't mind to lose some of my freedom
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Just go and take a look
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You don't have to marry him if you don't like him
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l'm not getting married
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Master, Mister Lin is waiting in the sitting room
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l don't care!
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You have to go anyways. Just to see for yourself
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00:05:05,271 --> 00:05:08,104
Miss, you really have nothing to lose
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No, l'm not going
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00:05:12,078 --> 00:05:13,477
But Mr. Tie is such a square
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l'm sure his daughter must be a bore
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and your sex life is likely to be...
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00:05:24,123 --> 00:05:25,750
My dearest Lin, how's your father doing?
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He's doing great
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This is weiyangsheng, a good friend of mine
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He comes to keep me company
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Lin, l'm so sorry
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00:05:35,401 --> 00:05:40,634
My daughter refuses to come out.
l haven't brought her up well enough
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You made a trip here
but l'm afraid you're not meeting her this time
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ln this case, let's get going.
we're actually kind of busy
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Come on, let's go. Oh, goodbye then
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Master, Miss is on her way out to meet the guests
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Now that Miss Tie is here,
l guess we should stay a while
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Okay
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00:06:07,166 --> 00:06:09,031
As my daughter lost her mother at an early age
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she is spoiled
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For matters about herself
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she always has to make her own decisions
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Dad, l only decide on trivial matters
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00:06:17,744 --> 00:06:20,770
But marriage is a big thing and of course,
l'll leave it to dad
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00:06:21,114 --> 00:06:23,514
for a woman should comply
with the Three Obediences and Four Virtues, right?
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00:06:24,083 --> 00:06:26,210
My daughter is still not married all these years
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because she is my only kid
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And my son.in.law has to marry into our family
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The maid is so beautiful.
Their first son has to use our surname
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such conditions turn many men away
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00:06:37,263 --> 00:06:40,096
well... but l'm the only son in the family.
So were my father and grandfather...
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00:06:40,299 --> 00:06:42,529
Throughout 7 generations, all my patriarchal
ancestors are the only sons in the family
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But if l have the honour
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to marry a lady like Miss Tie
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l don't mind marrying into the Tie's
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Okay, l've made up my mind.
l'll marry into the Tie's
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00:06:51,344 --> 00:06:52,641
All my children will bear your last name
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l've also made up my mind
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Even my grandchildren can bear your last name
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00:06:58,418 --> 00:06:59,350
But...
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00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:03,484
l approached Lin's parents first
and l have to stick to that
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00:07:03,689 --> 00:07:04,417
So....
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00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:08,485
Can l borrow a piece of paper?
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00:07:25,144 --> 00:07:26,634
Miss, he is really talented
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00:07:26,779 --> 00:07:28,178
Here's a clumsy painting of mine
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00:07:28,314 --> 00:07:29,611
l hope Mr. Tie and Miss Tie
could give some comments
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00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:32,516
A picture comes to life
with the artist's exquisite strokes
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Her eyes watery and sparkling, her lips red
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00:07:35,555 --> 00:07:38,353
Like a woman straight out of Song Yu's prose poem
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00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:42,258
Miss Dong next door,
showing only her torso above the wall
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00:07:46,566 --> 00:07:49,399
Dad, l have made up my mind
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00:07:49,569 --> 00:07:53,005
l will marry no one other than weiyangsheng
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And l'll also marry no one other than Miss Tie
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00:07:57,443 --> 00:07:58,375
well...congratulations...
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00:08:01,747 --> 00:08:03,647
Lin...
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00:08:20,299 --> 00:08:21,323
Mr. wei...
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00:08:23,402 --> 00:08:24,562
Let me introduce a good friend of mine
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This is Scholar Shangguan Shun
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My good friend weiyangshang
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Nice to meet you
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You too
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00:08:32,812 --> 00:08:34,677
Master wants you to see him
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Excuse me
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00:08:36,716 --> 00:08:38,513
They are Mr. and Mrs. Good Fortune
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They are in their 90s
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and have been happily married for
more than 70 years
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Master invited them to give you blessings
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Mr. and Mrs. Good Fortune
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hope you are all well
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Good, we will give you a red pocket later
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My dear, look at you
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00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:57,328
you have food all over you
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Excuse me
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you two have been married for decades
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00:09:02,742 --> 00:09:04,437
How can you
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still be so loving to each other?
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00:09:06,746 --> 00:09:08,304
l don't know
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00:09:08,414 --> 00:09:10,075
l just know that l love her very much
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And when we say “make love”
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you have to make, to have love
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l guess...you haven't made love for many years?
139
00:09:21,794 --> 00:09:23,056
How can you still be in love?
140
00:09:23,429 --> 00:09:24,691
lt is no big deal not being able to make love
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00:09:24,797 --> 00:09:26,662
You will understand when time goes by
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Shit
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00:09:50,489 --> 00:09:58,123
The groom and the bride kneel
to the Heaven and Earth...
144
00:10:44,076 --> 00:10:45,304
So cool!
145
00:10:58,457 --> 00:10:59,287
wait a minute
146
00:10:59,692 --> 00:11:03,423
My dear, will it hurt?
147
00:11:03,562 --> 00:11:06,122
lt will hurt, but it feels extremely awesome
148
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Thank god it didn't hurt. But...
149
00:11:23,783 --> 00:11:25,410
l wouldn't call it awesome either...
150
00:11:27,753 --> 00:11:30,722
l have to admit that there is room
for improvement
151
00:11:31,057 --> 00:11:33,321
l guess l need more practice
152
00:11:33,459 --> 00:11:35,427
improvement is absolutely possible
153
00:11:39,165 --> 00:11:40,223
Did you see it?
154
00:11:40,466 --> 00:11:43,299
No. l blinked and it's over
155
00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:02,674
You hate Prince of Ning so much
156
00:13:02,748 --> 00:13:04,716
why do you want me
to bring you to the Tower of Rarities?
157
00:13:05,084 --> 00:13:06,108
lf l don't go in the tiger's den
158
00:13:06,252 --> 00:13:08,720
how can l collect his crime evidence?
159
00:13:09,555 --> 00:13:10,522
Oh yes, good point....
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00:13:33,045 --> 00:13:35,013
Your Highness,
l brought my best friend here today
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00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:40,244
l guess you don't need me
to explain the rules here, do you?
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00:13:40,586 --> 00:13:42,679
Before l enter the tower,
l have to make a contribution to the collection
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l do understand
164
00:13:48,460 --> 00:13:49,654
This is from my father's collection
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00:13:50,029 --> 00:13:51,496
l know it's not anything near a rarity
166
00:13:52,064 --> 00:13:54,624
lt's not hard to find a coral this big
167
00:13:55,100 --> 00:13:57,625
but it's quite rare to see one
that big in bright red colour
168
00:14:19,225 --> 00:14:19,714
Bring over a few of those corals
169
00:14:20,059 --> 00:14:22,254
that are to be packed into the store room.
Let them take a look
170
00:14:27,233 --> 00:14:28,996
You think a piece of junk of such calibre
could get you in the Tower of Rarities?
171
00:14:29,168 --> 00:14:30,430
Now you can pick any one of these rejects
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00:14:30,569 --> 00:14:31,558
as your compensation
173
00:14:32,304 --> 00:14:33,134
And don't ever come back again, okay?
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00:14:33,272 --> 00:14:34,330
My ignorance has disgraced myself
175
00:14:34,773 --> 00:14:36,764
l'm in no position to accept
any generous gift from your Highness
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00:14:37,343 --> 00:14:38,367
l'd better get going
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00:14:46,752 --> 00:14:49,050
l thought l've had a taste
of your Highness' collection
178
00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:51,546
But l didn't expect to see a counterfeit
hung on the wall as if it's real
179
00:14:53,359 --> 00:14:55,350
This painting has been verified
by many connoisseurs
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00:14:56,228 --> 00:14:58,458
The paper, ink and the brush
are all from the Tang Dynasty
181
00:14:59,265 --> 00:15:00,596
even the brushstrokes are signature of wu's
182
00:15:02,334 --> 00:15:03,733
On what grounds do you think it's counterfeit?
183
00:15:04,136 --> 00:15:05,330
Cut open the border
184
00:15:05,471 --> 00:15:06,995
you'd see the painting
is made up of two layers of paper
185
00:15:07,306 --> 00:15:09,501
The ingenious thing about this counterfeit
is the use of rare ancient paper for tracing
186
00:15:09,808 --> 00:15:10,672
The rice paper on top
187
00:15:10,809 --> 00:15:12,674
was used to trace the brushstrokes of wu
188
00:15:13,212 --> 00:15:16,113
But the backing sheet underneath is Chengxintang paper
from the last reign of the Southern Tang kingdom
189
00:15:16,382 --> 00:15:18,111
You'd see plum blossom.shaped
watermarks on the backing paper
190
00:15:18,350 --> 00:15:20,545
The two were over two hundred years apart
191
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:23,586
then how can it be real?
192
00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:28,718
Your insight is a rarity good enough
193
00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:31,290
to get you in the Tower
194
00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:33,290
Thank you
195
00:15:48,747 --> 00:15:49,736
The original from Scholar Yan Zhun xing
196
00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:03,458
This is impossible!
197
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:11,292
This has been lost for hundreds of years
198
00:16:11,737 --> 00:16:12,669
The original from Calligrapher wang xi Zi
199
00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:14,500
l sent someone to dig out the Emperor's grave
200
00:16:15,307 --> 00:16:17,241
Spent seven years to get it
201
00:16:29,722 --> 00:16:31,656
This is the best mathematician in history
202
00:16:32,624 --> 00:16:36,082
l travelled all over our country
203
00:16:37,129 --> 00:16:39,654
and did my calculations according
to changes in the shadows
204
00:16:40,132 --> 00:16:42,566
l conclude that our land is not flat
205
00:16:43,068 --> 00:16:44,535
lt is in a ball shape
206
00:16:45,204 --> 00:16:47,035
The diameter of the ball
207
00:16:47,239 --> 00:16:49,070
from whatever direction
208
00:16:49,341 --> 00:16:51,070
is about 35,000 miles....
209
00:16:52,311 --> 00:16:54,472
This place is small. l don't want to be disturbed
210
00:16:54,546 --> 00:16:56,207
How old do you think he is?
211
00:16:57,783 --> 00:16:59,375
with all his white hair
212
00:16:59,585 --> 00:17:01,519
ln his 60s, l suppose
213
00:17:01,620 --> 00:17:02,644
He thinks and does math too much
214
00:17:02,755 --> 00:17:05,053
his hair turns white overnight
and he also turns mental
215
00:17:05,324 --> 00:17:07,087
He's only 23
216
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:10,552
My place is so big and he said it's small
217
00:17:12,131 --> 00:17:13,189
And if the land is in a ball shape
218
00:17:13,332 --> 00:17:14,697
How come we don't fall?
219
00:17:15,234 --> 00:17:15,563
Let's go
220
00:17:16,235 --> 00:17:17,202
Stupid
221
00:17:21,073 --> 00:17:21,664
Look
222
00:17:22,408 --> 00:17:23,306
lt's a horse
223
00:17:24,176 --> 00:17:24,767
Stroke the horse
224
00:17:37,122 --> 00:17:37,986
ls it...
225
00:17:38,757 --> 00:17:41,021
This is the legendary Blood.sweating Horse
226
00:17:43,228 --> 00:17:44,593
Ha....very amazing!
227
00:17:46,432 --> 00:17:48,559
But nothing compares
to the Pavilion of Ultimate Bliss
228
00:17:49,334 --> 00:17:52,360
You have to take some wushi Powder
before you get in though
229
00:18:10,389 --> 00:18:14,018
You gotta have a taste of this ultimate bliss
230
00:18:14,126 --> 00:18:16,390
everything will turn beautiful
231
00:18:54,399 --> 00:18:55,559
Let's drink
232
00:18:56,568 --> 00:18:58,331
l drink again?
233
00:18:59,738 --> 00:19:02,138
Yes, your turn
234
00:19:04,209 --> 00:19:05,176
Don't go
235
00:19:05,444 --> 00:19:07,435
Let me catch you, and you will be dead
236
00:19:09,214 --> 00:19:11,580
Drink with me, come on
237
00:19:22,327 --> 00:19:23,487
Do you know him?
238
00:19:24,663 --> 00:19:26,130
That's Shangguan Shen
239
00:19:26,532 --> 00:19:27,692
He was one of my guests
240
00:19:28,033 --> 00:19:29,193
at my wedding
241
00:19:30,569 --> 00:19:32,059
Shangguan Shen is my guest
242
00:19:32,304 --> 00:19:33,669
l let him in because
243
00:19:34,106 --> 00:19:36,404
he has altogether 127 wives and concubines
244
00:19:36,775 --> 00:19:38,106
Apart from the Emperor His Majesty
245
00:19:38,310 --> 00:19:41,074
he has the most wives and concubines on earth
246
00:19:41,713 --> 00:19:42,509
But...
247
00:19:43,582 --> 00:19:45,174
They aren't good looking at all
248
00:19:49,087 --> 00:19:51,419
Let me make a mark on your neck
249
00:20:06,805 --> 00:20:09,000
The most beautiful woman in the world
250
00:20:09,341 --> 00:20:11,206
Skin fair like icy snow
251
00:20:11,777 --> 00:20:14,575
Demeanour like the autumn water. Bones like jade
252
00:20:19,651 --> 00:20:22,984
A fraction of an inch taller would be too tall.
A fraction of an inch shorter would be too short
253
00:20:26,158 --> 00:20:27,716
This is the most discerning connoisseur
in the world
254
00:20:28,327 --> 00:20:30,022
She is the walking example of perfect proportion
255
00:20:30,562 --> 00:20:32,052
The flawless exemplar of the word beauty
256
00:20:32,564 --> 00:20:33,690
but l admire her personality most
257
00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:40,262
Mister, l'm terribly sorry
258
00:20:43,141 --> 00:20:43,766
Go to hell!
259
00:20:48,647 --> 00:20:49,477
Miss, please don't!
260
00:20:56,521 --> 00:20:57,385
Stop...
261
00:21:02,361 --> 00:21:03,123
Stop...
262
00:21:03,562 --> 00:21:04,256
No...
263
00:21:17,776 --> 00:21:20,006
You shouldn't torture her
if she has done something wrong
264
00:21:20,679 --> 00:21:21,737
you should just shoot her to death!
265
00:21:23,682 --> 00:21:25,650
Your hand is hurting and she is not dead yet
266
00:21:26,051 --> 00:21:27,416
lt doesn't work, okay?
267
00:21:28,186 --> 00:21:29,380
Don't do it next time
268
00:21:54,112 --> 00:21:55,773
Hurry, or else you'll miss it
269
00:21:59,651 --> 00:22:01,585
well, she is not that special...
270
00:22:13,765 --> 00:22:15,596
So beautiful...
271
00:22:27,212 --> 00:22:31,148
Go away, go away...
272
00:22:32,684 --> 00:22:33,343
Go away
273
00:22:34,586 --> 00:22:35,314
Your Highness
274
00:22:36,488 --> 00:22:37,750
Her name is Ruizhu
275
00:22:38,056 --> 00:22:40,047
She's a part of my rare collection
276
00:22:41,226 --> 00:22:43,353
Ruizhu is unique in her sexual tricks
277
00:22:43,495 --> 00:22:44,723
and her ability to boost
Yin and Yang energies mutually with a man
278
00:22:45,063 --> 00:22:47,224
She can make any impotent man virile again
279
00:22:47,366 --> 00:22:48,594
And maintain an erection as long as he wants
280
00:22:48,734 --> 00:22:51,225
But she can only serve one man each day
281
00:22:52,404 --> 00:22:54,998
Of course, only those who
have my approval can have sex with her
282
00:22:56,141 --> 00:22:57,699
She seems interested in you
283
00:22:58,610 --> 00:23:02,046
l can give my permission
if you want to have sex with her
284
00:23:02,748 --> 00:23:03,578
Thank you, your Highness
285
00:23:03,682 --> 00:23:07,550
Hey, hold on, hold on.
My permission is granted on conditions
286
00:23:08,420 --> 00:23:09,717
l'm all ears
287
00:23:11,256 --> 00:23:13,690
First, you have to serve me for 10 years,
during which time you're on call 24.7
288
00:23:14,626 --> 00:23:16,491
lf you agree,
l'll let you have a day's slot with Ruizhu
289
00:23:16,695 --> 00:23:18,686
ls that it? That's a deal
290
00:23:20,031 --> 00:23:21,020
l haven't tried even once
291
00:24:46,685 --> 00:24:49,085
Don't rush it. we have a whole day
292
00:24:50,555 --> 00:24:52,716
l'm afraid l can't keep it up the whole day
293
00:24:53,325 --> 00:24:55,452
Don't worry. l'll take care of it
294
00:25:27,092 --> 00:25:29,253
l can't hold back anymore...
295
00:26:29,554 --> 00:26:31,181
Master, weiyangsheng and Ruizhu
296
00:26:31,289 --> 00:26:32,654
aven't been out of the room all day...
297
00:26:32,757 --> 00:26:34,315
They are still doing it
298
00:27:50,368 --> 00:27:52,598
Miss Tie is a well.bred lady of excellent
manners and elegance
299
00:27:53,438 --> 00:27:56,407
l chose to hang out in brothels
and cold.shoulder my lovely wife
300
00:27:56,708 --> 00:27:58,471
Hereby, we both agree to divorce each other
301
00:27:58,677 --> 00:28:02,272
From now on,
each of us is free to get married again
302
00:28:03,148 --> 00:28:04,308
l've made a serious mistake
303
00:28:05,316 --> 00:28:06,681
l'm indebted to her for her innocent love
304
00:28:08,353 --> 00:28:09,479
l really don't have any excuse
305
00:28:09,788 --> 00:28:11,756
That's enough. Put your signature down
306
00:28:17,529 --> 00:28:19,429
But my love for Miss Tie will never change
307
00:28:19,497 --> 00:28:20,987
Cut that crap, bastard!
308
00:28:21,199 --> 00:28:23,360
You have been fooling around
among other women all the time
309
00:28:24,069 --> 00:28:26,037
you don't even care if your wife is sick
310
00:28:26,371 --> 00:28:28,032
You are worse than an animal
311
00:28:31,076 --> 00:28:31,701
Yuxiang
312
00:28:37,582 --> 00:28:38,549
this brush
313
00:28:39,350 --> 00:28:42,649
is my favourite and was passed
on to me from my ancestors
314
00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:52,295
A broken mirror can be fixed
315
00:28:53,264 --> 00:28:56,131
but l'm afraid a broken brush can't be
316
00:28:57,702 --> 00:28:59,329
l, weiyangshang, have decided that
317
00:29:00,472 --> 00:29:03,703
l shall never paint again
318
00:29:18,022 --> 00:29:19,080
Miss
319
00:29:24,362 --> 00:29:26,353
Miss, your hand...
320
00:29:27,232 --> 00:29:29,132
lf the two of you still love each other
321
00:29:29,701 --> 00:29:31,464
why do you divorce him?
322
00:29:38,376 --> 00:29:40,139
lt's my fault
323
00:29:45,183 --> 00:29:49,586
l can't satisfy his needs on bed
324
00:29:51,222 --> 00:29:55,750
l will never be able to give him happiness
325
00:30:52,617 --> 00:30:55,279
why doesn't Dong Mei feel the pain?
326
00:30:55,386 --> 00:30:56,512
A certain level of pain
327
00:30:56,621 --> 00:30:59,681
can create a pleasurable
feeling like reaching a climax
328
00:31:00,158 --> 00:31:01,216
ls that true?
329
00:31:01,659 --> 00:31:02,626
Try it out and you will know
330
00:31:05,263 --> 00:31:06,321
No thanks
331
00:31:10,101 --> 00:31:10,692
Your Highness
332
00:31:11,703 --> 00:31:14,433
can l take a look at that painting?
333
00:31:17,809 --> 00:31:19,208
Harder!
334
00:31:23,314 --> 00:31:24,508
Harder!
335
00:31:25,049 --> 00:31:26,243
The stamp is fake
336
00:31:26,784 --> 00:31:29,480
And the inscription that says
it is from the Southern Tang Dynasty
337
00:31:29,754 --> 00:31:31,244
is also wrong
338
00:31:32,457 --> 00:31:34,618
ls it worthless then?
339
00:31:35,460 --> 00:31:36,620
How much time is it off from Southern Tang?
340
00:31:41,299 --> 00:31:42,664
lt's 300 years off
341
00:31:42,767 --> 00:31:44,029
Congratulations, your Highness
342
00:31:44,702 --> 00:31:46,260
lt's priceless
343
00:31:50,141 --> 00:31:53,076
This is an authentic work of Dong Ju
344
00:31:53,344 --> 00:31:55,539
This is the oldest painting on earth
345
00:31:56,147 --> 00:31:58,638
but the antique shop owner
doesn't seem to be very knowledgeable
346
00:31:58,783 --> 00:32:00,444
as to put on a fake stamp
and inscribed some bullshit on it
347
00:32:02,086 --> 00:32:02,745
Oh... what a twist!
348
00:32:03,588 --> 00:32:05,681
Officially one more rare item to my collection
349
00:32:06,224 --> 00:32:07,987
Good. Come with me
350
00:32:29,514 --> 00:32:31,141
No one can go in except The Prince
351
00:32:31,282 --> 00:32:32,510
Death is the penalty with no exception
352
00:32:38,690 --> 00:32:39,588
lt hurts
353
00:32:42,193 --> 00:32:44,753
what should l give you as a reward?
what do you want?
354
00:32:45,596 --> 00:32:47,325
There's nothing else l'd ask for
355
00:32:47,432 --> 00:32:48,126
Dongmei
356
00:32:53,638 --> 00:32:54,570
Congratulations, your Highness
357
00:33:06,417 --> 00:33:08,009
Do you know what is pleasure comes through toil?
358
00:33:42,053 --> 00:33:43,281
Coffin, for you
359
00:33:44,389 --> 00:33:46,220
Bird, your favourite
360
00:33:47,592 --> 00:33:49,150
Now what? who's turn?
361
00:33:49,327 --> 00:33:50,351
You have us waiting every time
362
00:33:50,628 --> 00:33:52,562
You dare to discard this one, you are so dead
363
00:33:55,700 --> 00:33:57,691
Hurry up. Don't think too much
364
00:33:58,336 --> 00:33:59,633
lf l am not allowed to think, l'd rather not play
365
00:34:01,639 --> 00:34:02,697
which one should l discard?
366
00:34:06,177 --> 00:34:08,304
Discard this one then you have 5 chances to win.
Dump ass!
367
00:34:19,690 --> 00:34:20,679
Awesome!
368
00:34:20,792 --> 00:34:21,986
So Big!
369
00:34:22,060 --> 00:34:23,186
l want it so much!
370
00:34:23,694 --> 00:34:25,525
You think she's frigid, right?
371
00:34:26,130 --> 00:34:27,427
But do you know why?
372
00:35:25,556 --> 00:35:26,716
She's not frigid
373
00:35:27,358 --> 00:35:29,053
The problem is you
374
00:35:29,193 --> 00:35:29,750
Mr
375
00:35:32,029 --> 00:35:33,326
How can it be so small?
376
00:38:39,317 --> 00:38:41,182
Hey you! who told you to come this way?
377
00:38:41,285 --> 00:38:43,753
East side is where Miss Tie's room is
378
00:38:44,221 --> 00:38:44,653
You are just a servant
379
00:38:44,789 --> 00:38:46,256
you cannot come over this side
380
00:38:46,624 --> 00:38:47,522
You are fired
381
00:38:48,292 --> 00:38:52,319
l'm so sorry. lt's really stupid of me and l made
a terrible mistake. But please, don't fire me
382
00:38:52,630 --> 00:38:54,996
Dong, he has apologized
383
00:38:55,132 --> 00:38:56,429
lt's no big deal
384
00:38:57,168 --> 00:38:59,295
lt's your lucky day, son! Now that Miss
intercedes for you, l'll let you stay
385
00:38:59,437 --> 00:39:00,404
Don't you forget to thank Miss
386
00:39:00,771 --> 00:39:01,465
Yes
387
00:39:03,407 --> 00:39:05,534
My name is Quan Laoshi
and l thank Miss for your mercy
388
00:39:11,716 --> 00:39:14,207
Oh... you don't have to... Stand up please
389
00:39:17,221 --> 00:39:18,245
what are you standing there for?
390
00:39:18,456 --> 00:39:19,423
Go take the coal balls into the storeroom NOw!
391
00:39:19,523 --> 00:39:20,285
Yes. Yes, Sir
392
00:39:20,591 --> 00:39:22,252
He said he is raising money to bury his father
393
00:39:22,493 --> 00:39:24,120
Otherwise l won't even hire him
394
00:39:24,562 --> 00:39:26,530
what a waste to feed you. work now
395
00:39:26,764 --> 00:39:28,391
This money is for him
396
00:39:28,532 --> 00:39:29,999
Some tips
397
00:39:30,201 --> 00:39:30,633
Okay
398
00:39:31,435 --> 00:39:32,333
Come over here
399
00:39:35,373 --> 00:39:36,635
Miss gives you some tip
400
00:39:38,809 --> 00:39:40,367
Thank you...
401
00:39:48,652 --> 00:39:50,984
Make it quick, and hurry!
402
00:39:51,088 --> 00:39:51,577
Yes, l understand
403
00:39:51,689 --> 00:39:53,623
Slow poke, not a smart guy
404
00:39:54,325 --> 00:39:56,054
Just with muscles, but good for nothing
405
00:40:05,035 --> 00:40:06,593
You are late in everything
406
00:40:06,704 --> 00:40:08,296
Take it easy, my friend
407
00:40:08,439 --> 00:40:10,430
How can l? l'm really looking forward
to meeting this Elder of Ultimate Bliss!
408
00:40:10,574 --> 00:40:13,634
He has the most mind.blowing
sex tricks in the world
409
00:40:14,478 --> 00:40:14,773
Let's go
410
00:40:15,679 --> 00:40:16,338
Shangguan Shen
411
00:40:16,480 --> 00:40:18,505
when are you going to marry your 128th wife?
412
00:40:18,716 --> 00:40:20,013
Your Highness, you are joking
413
00:40:26,157 --> 00:40:27,317
Your Highness. You are late
414
00:40:28,325 --> 00:40:28,757
Sit
415
00:40:31,695 --> 00:40:32,320
Hope you are well
416
00:40:32,797 --> 00:40:33,525
Your Highness
417
00:40:34,498 --> 00:40:36,329
you said that by noon today
418
00:40:36,434 --> 00:40:39,232
that Elder of Ultimate Bliss would show up?
419
00:40:40,204 --> 00:40:42,263
He is not here yet
420
00:40:43,507 --> 00:40:45,407
How dare he comes late to your Highness' party?
421
00:40:50,681 --> 00:40:52,649
As this gentleman is so desperate
422
00:40:53,651 --> 00:40:54,640
why don't you
423
00:40:56,287 --> 00:40:58,312
calm his nerves by drinking with him?
424
00:41:14,038 --> 00:41:15,198
Awesome
425
00:41:23,314 --> 00:41:25,009
Master must be enjoying himself
426
00:42:38,422 --> 00:42:41,482
You have a cute and interesting accessory...
427
00:43:38,515 --> 00:43:42,576
l am the Elder of Ultimate Bliss
and my name is Lee Changchun
428
00:44:55,726 --> 00:44:59,253
wow...amazing
429
00:45:00,097 --> 00:45:02,725
You're so ignorant, kid.
Don't you know the Elder of Ultimate Bliss
430
00:45:03,467 --> 00:45:06,732
is an androgynous being
with extraordinary sex tricks?
431
00:45:07,204 --> 00:45:08,535
l'm so pleased
432
00:45:08,672 --> 00:45:09,764
to have the pleasure to eyewitness that today
433
00:45:10,708 --> 00:45:12,335
My pleasure too, your Highness
434
00:45:13,243 --> 00:45:15,336
As l've kind of overloaded
myself a little just now
435
00:45:16,080 --> 00:45:18,014
l'd like to excuse myself first if you don't mind
436
00:45:18,382 --> 00:45:20,077
i need a break at home
437
00:45:20,718 --> 00:45:21,343
Feel free to leave
438
00:45:50,114 --> 00:45:52,309
Your Highness,
you are so well endowed to begin with
439
00:45:52,449 --> 00:45:53,677
if you learn his tricks from him
440
00:45:54,017 --> 00:45:57,509
You will do way better
441
00:45:59,123 --> 00:46:00,522
Elder of Ultimate Bliss is a monster
442
00:46:01,125 --> 00:46:03,184
who possesses both male and female genitals
443
00:46:03,293 --> 00:46:06,524
His skills are not something
a normal person can learn
444
00:46:06,697 --> 00:46:07,994
You are absolutely right, Your Highness
445
00:46:09,366 --> 00:46:10,628
Let's stop talking and drink
446
00:46:11,602 --> 00:46:13,536
Cheers... Let's go
447
00:46:14,171 --> 00:46:15,001
where are we going?
448
00:46:15,672 --> 00:46:16,604
Just follow me
449
00:50:42,472 --> 00:50:45,635
This way, come over here, let's have more fun
450
00:50:46,143 --> 00:50:47,701
This way, throw it here
451
00:50:48,045 --> 00:50:51,446
This way, throw it here
452
00:50:54,651 --> 00:50:55,583
Calm down, Ma'am. we don't mean to scare you
453
00:50:55,685 --> 00:50:57,209
we're here for the Elder of Ultimate Bliss
454
00:50:57,654 --> 00:50:59,246
Huh? what did you say?
455
00:50:59,356 --> 00:51:01,620
They have hearing problems. They can't hear you
456
00:51:03,193 --> 00:51:04,125
Master!
457
00:51:04,294 --> 00:51:06,455
Godfather... who are they?
458
00:51:07,130 --> 00:51:08,154
l'm so scared, godfather
459
00:51:08,698 --> 00:51:09,630
Godfather?
460
00:51:10,434 --> 00:51:11,526
Did they call you godfather?
461
00:51:11,802 --> 00:51:14,032
why don't you kids tell these guys
how old you are?
462
00:51:14,137 --> 00:51:16,628
l'm 14... l'm 15
463
00:51:16,773 --> 00:51:18,434
l'm 16...
464
00:51:18,809 --> 00:51:19,332
Huh?
465
00:51:20,343 --> 00:51:22,334
They are the leftovers of my treatments
466
00:51:22,746 --> 00:51:25,738
Have you ever heard of boosting
the Yang by consuming the Yin?
467
00:51:26,283 --> 00:51:28,547
You're saying they look that old
468
00:51:28,685 --> 00:51:30,983
because you've consumed them?
469
00:51:32,055 --> 00:51:32,749
Yes, l am
470
00:51:33,623 --> 00:51:34,681
Go and play
471
00:51:35,058 --> 00:51:37,754
okay, let's go and play...
472
00:51:40,430 --> 00:51:42,523
Ah.. Master....
473
00:51:49,039 --> 00:51:51,200
So, why did you follow me here?
474
00:51:52,209 --> 00:51:53,141
l had the honour
475
00:51:53,243 --> 00:51:55,234
to see your sex trick this afternoon
476
00:51:55,345 --> 00:51:56,676
l was so amazed
477
00:51:57,214 --> 00:51:59,148
l desperately need to refine my techniques on bed
478
00:52:00,050 --> 00:52:01,540
that's why l want to learn it from you
479
00:52:01,685 --> 00:52:04,518
l hope you can take me as your protege
480
00:52:05,155 --> 00:52:08,613
These sex tricks are strict secrets within
our sect and never disclosed to anyone outsiders
481
00:52:08,758 --> 00:52:11,556
l'm afraid l can't teach you
482
00:52:12,462 --> 00:52:14,555
l can give you everything l have
483
00:52:14,764 --> 00:52:16,629
Money is not an issue here
484
00:52:17,501 --> 00:52:20,664
if l learn a couple tricks from you
485
00:52:20,770 --> 00:52:24,171
l will have no regret for my life
486
00:52:24,307 --> 00:52:25,433
l don't mind losing all my wealth
487
00:52:25,542 --> 00:52:28,033
l'd even risk my life for them. Please!
488
00:52:28,612 --> 00:52:29,636
Get up please, mister
489
00:52:39,089 --> 00:52:40,454
You're just too poorly endowed
490
00:52:44,561 --> 00:52:47,189
there's no point teaching you anything at all
491
00:53:04,681 --> 00:53:06,740
Okay, l'll teach you
492
00:53:07,751 --> 00:53:10,345
But on two conditions
493
00:53:10,754 --> 00:53:12,483
Absolutely, l'm all ears
494
00:53:13,156 --> 00:53:13,986
First
495
00:53:14,658 --> 00:53:16,455
you'd have to do one thing for me
496
00:53:17,027 --> 00:53:18,221
l'll let you know
497
00:53:19,062 --> 00:53:20,552
what that is later on
498
00:53:21,298 --> 00:53:22,162
Not a problem
499
00:53:22,499 --> 00:53:23,193
what's the second condition?
500
00:53:26,203 --> 00:53:29,639
Your valet is quite hot.
Let me consume him to boost my own energy!
501
00:53:30,607 --> 00:53:31,369
No, master. Don't
502
00:53:32,409 --> 00:53:34,775
Didn't you say you owe me so much?
503
00:53:35,111 --> 00:53:36,476
why don't you sacrifice yourself
and pay me back once and for all?
504
00:53:36,613 --> 00:53:38,342
No! please! lt's your chance now
505
00:53:40,217 --> 00:53:41,445
we are here to help
506
00:53:41,551 --> 00:53:42,347
No
507
00:53:50,026 --> 00:53:51,550
Do you know what this is?
508
00:53:51,661 --> 00:53:52,457
what?
509
00:53:53,163 --> 00:53:54,687
Ooh... Booty hurts
510
00:53:55,198 --> 00:53:56,495
lt really hurts.
Someone takes him to my room
511
00:53:58,735 --> 00:53:59,724
Master!
512
00:54:01,037 --> 00:54:02,595
Help! Master! No!
513
00:54:02,706 --> 00:54:03,673
when can we start?
514
00:54:03,807 --> 00:54:06,241
Not so soon!
Haven't you ever heard the saying that
515
00:54:06,376 --> 00:54:07,673
“a worker sharpens his tools
before he can do his job well?”
516
00:54:07,811 --> 00:54:09,403
Now, you'd have to go find my old friend
517
00:54:09,546 --> 00:54:11,138
the medical sage Tianjizi
518
00:54:11,481 --> 00:54:12,311
l'm afraid
519
00:54:13,316 --> 00:54:15,079
you have to get a new cock
520
00:54:15,518 --> 00:54:16,348
Huh? A new cock?
521
00:54:18,021 --> 00:54:19,283
Can't we just take a few of those pills?
522
00:54:19,589 --> 00:54:21,056
The pills still need their clinical trials
523
00:54:21,258 --> 00:54:24,421
there might be some serious side effects
524
00:54:30,467 --> 00:54:33,664
The foundation of our sex tricks
is based on studies
525
00:54:33,770 --> 00:54:36,068
from Emperor Huang Di thousands of years ago
526
00:54:36,172 --> 00:54:39,164
Combined with studies from other countries
527
00:54:39,342 --> 00:54:41,242
the root is founded on a unique breathing method
528
00:54:41,344 --> 00:54:44,575
which makes the cock able to lift anything
529
00:54:44,781 --> 00:54:48,410
lt will be able to control any woman
and gives her extreme pleasure
530
00:54:48,685 --> 00:54:50,482
Lucky! Shut up and go inside!
531
00:54:52,355 --> 00:54:53,185
How can l help you?
532
00:54:54,024 --> 00:54:54,683
My name is weiyangsheng
533
00:54:55,025 --> 00:54:56,253
The Elder of Ultimate Bliss told me to come here
534
00:54:56,393 --> 00:54:58,258
May l ask if Tianjizi is here?
535
00:54:58,528 --> 00:55:00,052
So you are here for my master? Yes
536
00:55:04,134 --> 00:55:05,328
But he's dead
537
00:55:06,503 --> 00:55:07,492
He's dead?
538
00:55:08,104 --> 00:55:09,093
what are you here for?
539
00:55:09,739 --> 00:55:11,138
l'm his second apprentice, Tiancan
540
00:55:12,375 --> 00:55:13,706
l'm his first apprentice, Dique
541
00:55:13,810 --> 00:55:15,539
Come in first
542
00:55:16,079 --> 00:55:17,239
Come on in
543
00:55:22,218 --> 00:55:24,379
Since The Elder of Ultimate Bliss
asked you to come here
544
00:55:24,487 --> 00:55:26,182
let us know how we can help
545
00:55:28,124 --> 00:55:28,749
l want to...
546
00:55:31,161 --> 00:55:33,652
No fucking way. A new cock?
547
00:55:35,298 --> 00:55:36,026
who is getting a new cock?
548
00:55:36,166 --> 00:55:37,030
ls someone going to get a new cock?
549
00:55:37,167 --> 00:55:38,134
Hey, someone wants a new cock
550
00:55:38,268 --> 00:55:38,632
Come quickly and have a look....
551
00:55:38,768 --> 00:55:40,201
Get a new cock? what fucking new cock?
552
00:55:43,106 --> 00:55:44,471
Let me take a look at your cock first
553
00:55:53,516 --> 00:55:55,040
lt is like a dead snake
554
00:55:56,052 --> 00:55:59,317
what... you let me look at stuff like these,
how can l get hard?
555
00:55:59,789 --> 00:56:00,983
l'll make it quick and clear
556
00:56:01,324 --> 00:56:04,589
From the hardness of it, l can see
557
00:56:05,061 --> 00:56:06,528
this is certainly a level 2
558
00:56:07,263 --> 00:56:08,230
Erectile dysfunction
559
00:56:08,698 --> 00:56:09,289
what?
560
00:56:11,334 --> 00:56:12,198
Erectile dysfunction?
561
00:56:16,606 --> 00:56:18,267
well, level 1 erectile dysfunction
562
00:56:18,408 --> 00:56:20,000
will be just like this piece of tofu
563
00:56:21,077 --> 00:56:22,339
One squish and it's over
564
00:56:23,580 --> 00:56:25,013
what about level 2?
565
00:56:31,454 --> 00:56:32,546
lt's not for you
566
00:56:35,158 --> 00:56:36,523
Level 2 erectile dysfunction
567
00:56:37,160 --> 00:56:40,994
ls like this banana without the skin. lt's soft
568
00:56:42,665 --> 00:56:45,395
Are you serious? l was just too nervous before
569
00:56:45,502 --> 00:56:47,595
will you get hard if you are touched by a man?
570
00:56:48,438 --> 00:56:50,770
Do you want me to bump you up to level 3?
571
00:56:51,508 --> 00:56:52,600
From a banana without skin
572
00:56:54,043 --> 00:56:55,169
to a banana with skin, how's that?
573
00:56:56,679 --> 00:56:58,306
But it's still erectile dysfunction
574
00:57:00,617 --> 00:57:02,482
well, then what is normal?
575
00:57:02,585 --> 00:57:03,643
Normal?
576
00:57:07,123 --> 00:57:10,251
lt should sound like this. This is called normal
577
00:57:11,127 --> 00:57:12,617
ls there any cure?
578
00:57:12,762 --> 00:57:15,094
A super pill?
579
00:57:15,365 --> 00:57:18,061
This pill is passed on from our master's ancestor
580
00:57:18,168 --> 00:57:20,329
lt is especially effective for men like you
581
00:57:20,437 --> 00:57:22,769
who are impotence
582
00:57:23,072 --> 00:57:25,336
and help them to be robust again
583
00:57:25,708 --> 00:57:28,302
they can then regain the pleasure of coitus
584
00:57:29,212 --> 00:57:30,236
That's incredible!
585
00:57:30,780 --> 00:57:32,407
ls there any side effect?
586
00:57:32,749 --> 00:57:36,116
lt has been clinically tested
587
00:57:36,252 --> 00:57:37,514
by the three of us
588
00:57:37,787 --> 00:57:39,118
we guarantee it works
589
00:57:39,589 --> 00:57:40,487
Oh
590
00:57:41,224 --> 00:57:42,748
That means all the three of you
have erectile dysfunction
591
00:57:43,092 --> 00:57:44,184
Bullshit! what are you talking about?
592
00:57:45,562 --> 00:57:47,325
well l mean,
since both of you are experts in this area
593
00:57:47,430 --> 00:57:49,193
and are the greatest doctors on earth
594
00:57:49,499 --> 00:57:51,660
what are we waiting for?
Please give me one of those pills
595
00:57:52,769 --> 00:57:55,101
You have made the right decision
596
00:57:55,205 --> 00:57:56,001
Of course...
597
00:57:56,105 --> 00:57:57,766
However, it is a pity
598
00:57:58,608 --> 00:57:59,404
what is?
599
00:58:00,343 --> 00:58:02,607
Since this is made from
a secret formula from our master
600
00:58:03,413 --> 00:58:05,347
and our master has passed away
601
00:58:05,648 --> 00:58:07,343
what a pity he didn't leave the formula behind
602
00:58:07,717 --> 00:58:10,185
we are afraid that we have to disappoint you
603
00:58:10,720 --> 00:58:12,312
lf you don't have it, maybe someone else has it?
604
00:58:12,489 --> 00:58:14,252
Forget about it. lt's exclusive
605
00:58:14,390 --> 00:58:16,153
lf someone else has it, it must be fake
606
00:58:16,392 --> 00:58:19,020
l sincerely suggest that you make up your mind
607
00:58:19,429 --> 00:58:20,453
to get a new cock
608
00:58:21,731 --> 00:58:22,459
Get a new cock?
609
00:58:24,367 --> 00:58:25,732
we have this book as well
610
00:58:26,636 --> 00:58:28,263
This is an advanced medical handbook
611
00:58:28,404 --> 00:58:29,200
Our master spent so much time
612
00:58:29,339 --> 00:58:31,330
discussing this book with us when he was alive
613
00:58:31,674 --> 00:58:33,699
This cock.swapping thing
614
00:58:34,210 --> 00:58:36,405
has been a topic that the three of us
studied for a long time
615
00:58:36,579 --> 00:58:37,978
we surely want to put it into practice
616
00:58:39,082 --> 00:58:40,481
You mean, you've never done one?
617
00:58:41,117 --> 00:58:42,744
we've done it to a dog
618
00:58:43,353 --> 00:58:45,685
And my master did it once for a man
before he died
619
00:58:45,788 --> 00:58:46,584
Yes
620
00:58:47,323 --> 00:58:50,019
l guess no one is willing to swap
his cock with yours...
621
00:58:52,562 --> 00:58:53,756
Can l swap it with an animal?
622
00:58:55,064 --> 00:58:56,725
Theoretically, that's possible
623
00:58:57,166 --> 00:58:58,656
which animal do you want?
624
00:58:59,469 --> 00:59:01,437
l'm going for the obvious if l'm gonna do it
625
00:59:01,571 --> 00:59:04,062
People say “hung like a horse.”
l want a horse cock
626
00:59:04,774 --> 00:59:06,332
Good idea. That's brilliant
627
00:59:06,476 --> 00:59:08,501
Good, a horse cock is a great thing
628
00:59:11,281 --> 00:59:13,374
Horse cock.
Are you sure you're capable of doing the surgery?
629
00:59:13,483 --> 00:59:14,381
what?
630
00:59:14,551 --> 00:59:16,246
Are you discriminating against the disabled?
631
00:59:19,122 --> 00:59:19,986
Before the surgery
632
00:59:20,423 --> 00:59:22,755
There are two rules that
we have to strictly adhere to
633
00:59:23,192 --> 00:59:23,624
First
634
00:59:23,760 --> 00:59:26,593
The surgery has to be done within the time
when an incense stick burns
635
00:59:26,696 --> 00:59:27,424
lf we run late
636
00:59:27,530 --> 00:59:29,589
your newly attached cock will be useless
637
00:59:29,699 --> 00:59:32,099
Or, you'd have no cock at all
638
00:59:33,136 --> 00:59:35,331
Second
639
00:59:35,672 --> 00:59:38,266
You cannot have sex in one month
640
00:59:39,075 --> 00:59:42,306
otherwise, it'd really be useless
641
00:59:47,417 --> 00:59:48,543
Now drink this anaesthetic
642
00:59:48,685 --> 00:59:50,346
you won't feel the pain after that
643
01:00:00,263 --> 01:00:01,560
Relax
644
01:00:02,165 --> 01:00:04,725
look around and don't focus here
645
01:00:05,034 --> 01:00:06,160
lt will soon be done
646
01:00:06,536 --> 01:00:07,230
Okay
647
01:00:28,725 --> 01:00:30,352
lt's cut
648
01:00:30,793 --> 01:00:32,420
Don't feel it? Don't feel it, right?
649
01:00:40,803 --> 01:00:41,633
wipe the sweat
650
01:00:43,339 --> 01:00:44,704
Hey, what the hell?
651
01:00:51,781 --> 01:00:54,306
By the way, how did your master die?
652
01:00:54,717 --> 01:00:58,153
Oh, he failed the cock.swapping operation
653
01:00:58,454 --> 01:01:00,649
And was killed by the patient
654
01:01:07,463 --> 01:01:09,454
we're physically challenged but so what?
655
01:01:09,599 --> 01:01:10,998
we do our job well
656
01:01:11,134 --> 01:01:13,102
we are not worse than any healthy person
657
01:01:21,711 --> 01:01:22,439
Oh
658
01:01:35,591 --> 01:01:37,183
The cock is squished
659
01:01:37,627 --> 01:01:38,423
what?
660
01:01:38,795 --> 01:01:40,695
Do you think we can still swap it?
661
01:01:41,130 --> 01:01:42,620
we're such cockheads, aren't we?
662
01:01:44,200 --> 01:01:45,428
No worries, we still got time
663
01:01:45,568 --> 01:01:47,195
why don't we put your own cock back on?
664
01:01:47,336 --> 01:01:49,270
At least you have something
665
01:01:50,106 --> 01:01:51,664
That's the only way. Let's do it
666
01:01:58,347 --> 01:01:59,507
Hey, no...
667
01:01:59,649 --> 01:02:00,707
Don't eat my cock!
668
01:02:01,017 --> 01:02:02,507
Lucky! Hey, where are you going?
669
01:02:02,752 --> 01:02:03,616
No, Lucky! Don't!
670
01:02:03,720 --> 01:02:04,584
Go get him!
671
01:02:07,490 --> 01:02:09,390
Open its mouth!
672
01:02:09,492 --> 01:02:10,186
Grab that baby sausage!
673
01:02:10,293 --> 01:02:11,726
But l need an extra hand for that
674
01:02:13,096 --> 01:02:13,687
Extra hand?
675
01:02:14,664 --> 01:02:15,653
Use you mouth! Your mouth!
676
01:02:16,399 --> 01:02:17,127
Use my mouth?
677
01:02:18,034 --> 01:02:18,762
Hurry up!
678
01:02:35,384 --> 01:02:37,682
Got it! l got it back!
679
01:02:40,723 --> 01:02:43,453
But it's just this much left
680
01:02:43,693 --> 01:02:45,285
Are you sure you still want it?
681
01:02:46,028 --> 01:02:46,653
what?
682
01:02:56,439 --> 01:02:58,373
Gee, we're running out of time
683
01:03:00,243 --> 01:03:02,143
Either of you can give me your cock!
684
01:03:03,212 --> 01:03:05,612
lt won't work even if l am willing to
685
01:03:05,715 --> 01:03:07,649
lf l am willing to give up my cock
686
01:03:08,151 --> 01:03:09,743
l don't have hands to do the operation
687
01:03:10,686 --> 01:03:11,983
lf l give up my cock
688
01:03:12,121 --> 01:03:14,214
no one can run errands for me
689
01:03:14,357 --> 01:03:16,291
we don't have enough time. That's right
690
01:03:17,794 --> 01:03:19,193
Don't tell me it's my fate that
691
01:03:19,662 --> 01:03:20,594
l have no cock
692
01:03:23,666 --> 01:03:24,496
Hey, hold it!
693
01:03:24,600 --> 01:03:26,261
ls your donkey a male?
694
01:03:26,435 --> 01:03:27,697
The donkey, hey!
Hey, where are you going?
695
01:03:28,104 --> 01:03:29,594
lf it is male, we will buy it no matter how much
696
01:03:31,107 --> 01:03:33,234
we can repay what we owe you
697
01:03:33,609 --> 01:03:36,544
Though we lost the horse cock
but we will pay you back with a donkey's
698
01:03:38,548 --> 01:03:41,540
Drown her! She deserves it!
699
01:04:07,476 --> 01:04:09,068
This is Master Tie's daughter
700
01:04:10,313 --> 01:04:11,575
Drag her out of water. whore!
701
01:04:12,048 --> 01:04:12,639
Drown her to death!
702
01:04:14,650 --> 01:04:16,481
You whore, you seduced a servant in the house...
703
01:04:16,719 --> 01:04:17,743
whore! which induced your father's death
704
01:04:18,087 --> 01:04:18,678
You tramp!
Say your last words before being executed
705
01:04:19,222 --> 01:04:20,120
l have nothing to say
706
01:04:20,656 --> 01:04:21,281
Okay then
707
01:04:21,524 --> 01:04:22,616
Drown her again.
Throw her into the water
708
01:04:26,195 --> 01:04:27,685
Stop! Stop it! Hold it there
709
01:04:29,265 --> 01:04:30,527
l raped her
710
01:04:31,133 --> 01:04:34,227
Quan Laoshi, did you say you raped her?
711
01:04:34,604 --> 01:04:35,366
Rape is a serious crime.
Don't admit it if you haven't done it
712
01:04:35,504 --> 01:04:37,233
That's right. Rape is a very serious crime
713
01:04:38,641 --> 01:04:41,075
Now listen! l DlD rape her
714
01:04:41,344 --> 01:04:43,278
You're the rapist
and you'd get drowned with her. Get him!
715
01:04:43,512 --> 01:04:44,979
Come on guys, go get him! Laoshi, run!
716
01:04:46,082 --> 01:04:47,276
Get him. Hold him tight
717
01:04:53,322 --> 01:04:55,290
Quan, l believe what you said
718
01:04:55,558 --> 01:04:57,355
For a powerful martial artist like you
719
01:04:57,460 --> 01:04:59,121
to rape a flimsy lady
720
01:04:59,228 --> 01:05:00,286
will be so easy
721
01:05:00,396 --> 01:05:02,057
This is so evident that you did it
722
01:05:03,099 --> 01:05:04,396
Enough said. Let's go
723
01:05:04,533 --> 01:05:07,127
Go? Yes... l tell you to go
724
01:05:07,570 --> 01:05:09,299
Mayor, you have something on your...
725
01:05:10,506 --> 01:05:12,440
Take care, Mayor, take care!
726
01:05:13,476 --> 01:05:14,204
Shall l get paid now?
727
01:05:20,016 --> 01:05:20,744
Miss Tie
728
01:05:27,089 --> 01:05:28,522
Quan is selling you to me
729
01:05:29,225 --> 01:05:30,089
Are you okay with it?
730
01:06:21,444 --> 01:06:23,378
Help! This is really huge!
731
01:06:30,486 --> 01:06:31,544
This is unbelievable
732
01:06:32,421 --> 01:06:34,446
He's got guts. He really got his cock swapped
733
01:06:34,557 --> 01:06:36,149
Yes, he is my idol now
734
01:06:43,366 --> 01:06:44,355
Come...
735
01:07:23,072 --> 01:07:24,437
Tell Dongmei to come over. Yes, master
736
01:08:47,790 --> 01:08:49,189
l want to have sex with 10 women at the same time
737
01:09:01,237 --> 01:09:04,001
Come, come altogether, come
738
01:09:04,306 --> 01:09:06,331
l want it... Master wei, take me
739
01:10:05,568 --> 01:10:07,331
Master is taking a rest inside. Miss!
740
01:10:07,469 --> 01:10:08,629
You can't go in
741
01:10:17,146 --> 01:10:18,113
You saved my life
742
01:10:18,581 --> 01:10:20,105
just because you want to sleep with me, right?
743
01:10:22,184 --> 01:10:23,276
Now, please make it quick
744
01:10:27,289 --> 01:10:28,256
You guys leave the room now
745
01:10:46,075 --> 01:10:47,064
l want you to know
746
01:10:47,343 --> 01:10:49,436
everything l did for you was out of love
747
01:10:51,080 --> 01:10:52,479
l never force any person into doing anything
748
01:10:53,482 --> 01:10:54,710
this is my principal
749
01:10:57,253 --> 01:10:58,743
All my concubines
750
01:10:59,655 --> 01:11:01,213
come here of their own accord
751
01:11:02,057 --> 01:11:04,082
So, l want you to love me willingly
752
01:11:10,766 --> 01:11:13,394
lf you want me to live with you willingly
753
01:11:14,136 --> 01:11:16,297
l have one condition
754
01:11:16,805 --> 01:11:18,773
l can only accept
755
01:11:19,241 --> 01:11:21,471
monogamous love
756
01:11:26,282 --> 01:11:28,011
l will give every one
of you 3,000 teals of silver
757
01:11:28,617 --> 01:11:30,050
That should be enough
758
01:11:31,120 --> 01:11:32,553
You get to keep all jewellery l gave you
759
01:11:34,723 --> 01:11:35,985
l don't want the money
760
01:11:36,492 --> 01:11:38,289
l just want to stay with you
761
01:11:38,427 --> 01:11:39,291
we will not go
762
01:11:39,428 --> 01:11:41,419
why are you driving us out?
Don't send us away
763
01:11:42,398 --> 01:11:43,387
Please...
764
01:11:44,199 --> 01:11:45,996
This is the only condition on which
Yuxiang will stay and live with me
765
01:11:48,671 --> 01:11:51,071
l'd rather die than live away from you
766
01:11:51,473 --> 01:11:53,737
Stop. All of you don't have to go
767
01:11:54,476 --> 01:11:56,103
l'm actually asking them to go just now...
768
01:13:03,312 --> 01:13:05,974
l think we better...
769
01:13:06,749 --> 01:13:08,740
why are you still standing here?
770
01:13:09,084 --> 01:13:11,348
Come join me in serving our husband
771
01:13:11,453 --> 01:13:12,385
Understand
772
01:13:12,755 --> 01:13:13,346
Yes
773
01:13:14,123 --> 01:13:15,420
we are here for you
774
01:13:29,505 --> 01:13:30,335
Yuxiang
775
01:13:33,075 --> 01:13:33,598
Yuxiang
776
01:13:34,810 --> 01:13:35,708
Yuxiang...
777
01:13:37,045 --> 01:13:37,602
Yuxiang
778
01:13:41,650 --> 01:13:44,175
Are you awake? Master, it's you...
779
01:13:52,094 --> 01:13:52,719
Hey, old man
780
01:13:53,462 --> 01:13:55,589
Do you want to scare me to death?
781
01:13:56,165 --> 01:13:58,429
Master, it's me...
782
01:14:00,169 --> 01:14:00,999
lt's me
783
01:14:04,239 --> 01:14:05,069
lt's Chow Dong
784
01:14:07,142 --> 01:14:08,200
Are you really being
785
01:14:08,310 --> 01:14:09,641
tortured so badly?
786
01:14:13,449 --> 01:14:15,508
Cut the crap. Come over here
787
01:14:17,686 --> 01:14:19,210
Do you still remember that
788
01:14:19,588 --> 01:14:22,250
You promised me to do one thing for me?
789
01:14:27,763 --> 01:14:28,752
Yes, l do
790
01:14:29,398 --> 01:14:30,456
l want you to steal
791
01:14:30,599 --> 01:14:32,089
the precious metal plate
that the First Emperor of Ming
792
01:14:32,201 --> 01:14:34,692
gave to the ancestor of Prince of Ning
793
01:14:34,803 --> 01:14:37,271
why?
794
01:14:38,373 --> 01:14:40,534
Over the last couple of years,
l disguise myself as a woman
795
01:14:40,642 --> 01:14:43,110
and sneak into senior officials' residences
to fool around with their kids
796
01:14:43,779 --> 01:14:46,009
Now l am a wanted person
797
01:14:46,215 --> 01:14:48,683
only this metal plate can help me
798
01:14:49,518 --> 01:14:51,042
Metal plate...is it the one
799
01:14:52,187 --> 01:14:53,711
that people call it
“The Golden Plate of Death Avoidance”?
800
01:14:54,356 --> 01:14:54,981
Hmm...
801
01:14:57,092 --> 01:14:58,616
So...how do l steal it?
802
01:14:59,695 --> 01:15:01,663
where does The Prince
803
01:15:01,797 --> 01:15:03,196
hide his most precious items?
804
01:15:28,223 --> 01:15:29,656
(what a luck that they are all drunk...)
805
01:15:58,687 --> 01:16:01,383
(wow, what arrogance to keep
the key around his dick!)
806
01:17:09,725 --> 01:17:11,215
(Shit! lt fucking stucks!)
807
01:17:36,685 --> 01:17:38,744
(Haha, can't believe it works!)
808
01:18:54,496 --> 01:18:57,021
How dare you! Stealing my metal plate?
809
01:18:57,199 --> 01:18:58,063
l...
810
01:18:59,501 --> 01:19:00,331
Shut up!
811
01:19:01,169 --> 01:19:01,533
Your Highness
812
01:19:01,770 --> 01:19:03,738
weiyangshang has a habit of stealing
813
01:19:04,306 --> 01:19:05,534
This time you are caught at the scene
814
01:19:07,275 --> 01:19:08,299
lt's all bullshit!
815
01:19:12,581 --> 01:19:13,707
Did l say something wrong?
816
01:19:14,549 --> 01:19:15,607
Don't you remember
817
01:19:16,284 --> 01:19:19,014
How you snapped Yuxiang off me?
818
01:19:19,254 --> 01:19:20,482
You really thought that l don't hold any grudges?
819
01:19:25,694 --> 01:19:26,752
You two...
820
01:19:27,129 --> 01:19:27,720
Yes
821
01:19:28,430 --> 01:19:30,295
we set you up
822
01:19:30,565 --> 01:19:32,055
How dare you offend the Prince of Ning!
823
01:19:32,701 --> 01:19:34,498
when did l offend the Prince of Ning?
You didn't?
824
01:19:35,203 --> 01:19:36,568
when you talked behind my back
825
01:19:36,671 --> 01:19:38,332
with that stupid monk in Amarus Bamboo Temple
826
01:19:41,042 --> 01:19:42,270
Just like the Prince of Ning
827
01:19:42,377 --> 01:19:44,675
who leads a hideously luxurious life
828
01:19:45,213 --> 01:19:47,647
He will have his retribution soon
829
01:19:49,017 --> 01:19:50,109
How can you compare a scumbag like him
830
01:19:50,218 --> 01:19:51,685
to a sophisticated scholar like me?
831
01:19:55,157 --> 01:19:57,022
Don't worry. l am a fair person
832
01:19:57,425 --> 01:19:57,982
after l take care of you
833
01:19:58,126 --> 01:19:59,525
l'll take care of that monk
834
01:20:00,262 --> 01:20:02,093
You will take revenge on Monk Budai? Please don't!
835
01:20:05,033 --> 01:20:06,295
Take care of your own self first
836
01:20:07,369 --> 01:20:08,734
This guy is called Quan Laoshi
837
01:20:09,805 --> 01:20:12,069
He is the flying dagger expert at the Tower
838
01:20:12,574 --> 01:20:14,007
l sent him to the Tie Mansion
839
01:20:14,109 --> 01:20:15,576
to rape your wife
840
01:20:16,178 --> 01:20:18,078
which induced
your father.in.law's death of a heart attack
841
01:20:18,480 --> 01:20:20,175
And guess what? Your lovely wife
is now Shangguan's concubine
842
01:20:20,482 --> 01:20:22,040
Just because of my small talks
843
01:20:23,018 --> 01:20:24,042
You want to take revenge on me like this
844
01:20:24,452 --> 01:20:27,046
and on my wife? Shut up!
845
01:20:27,422 --> 01:20:28,548
You join with other scholars
846
01:20:28,657 --> 01:20:30,488
and write letters to the Emperor to criticize me
847
01:20:31,159 --> 01:20:33,457
You're just a bastard who brings
sufferings to the people of this country
848
01:20:34,029 --> 01:20:38,329
l am not afraid of death
if l can do some good to the people
849
01:20:40,168 --> 01:20:40,691
Shut up!
850
01:20:41,236 --> 01:20:44,069
l am a scholar.
l will not be threatened by brute force
851
01:20:44,606 --> 01:20:45,436
Death is not a big deal...
852
01:20:49,377 --> 01:20:50,344
Mother Fucker! Scholar?
853
01:20:50,412 --> 01:20:52,004
A scholar who just fucks women everyday
854
01:20:52,113 --> 01:20:53,410
and reports me to the Emperor after fucking?
855
01:20:53,748 --> 01:20:55,613
lf death is no big deal then shut up!
856
01:20:55,717 --> 01:20:57,014
what a loser!
857
01:20:57,686 --> 01:20:59,381
Just kill me, you bastard!
858
01:21:00,388 --> 01:21:02,185
Do you know how much l spent
859
01:21:02,290 --> 01:21:03,757
To fix the mess you made
860
01:21:04,492 --> 01:21:05,481
Lock him up! Yes
861
01:21:05,594 --> 01:21:07,061
More suffering is waiting for you, loser
862
01:21:07,495 --> 01:21:09,986
walk... get up
863
01:21:17,305 --> 01:21:19,034
You have to teach me your secret sex tricks
864
01:21:19,507 --> 01:21:21,668
l need to learn
how to give Dongmei ten orgasms in a row
865
01:21:22,410 --> 01:21:23,536
l'll let you go if you can do that
866
01:21:24,346 --> 01:21:25,677
Su... sure!
867
01:21:26,114 --> 01:21:27,274
As long as your Highness spare my life
868
01:21:28,316 --> 01:21:31,114
l've offered to teach you before,
but you said you're not interested
869
01:21:32,687 --> 01:21:34,279
l still want to have my own children
870
01:21:35,290 --> 01:21:36,518
... well... that's kind of tough
871
01:21:39,394 --> 01:21:40,520
Tell the government
872
01:21:41,096 --> 01:21:42,996
that we found someone on the wanted list here
873
01:21:43,398 --> 01:21:44,456
Hold on, hold on! Your Highness
874
01:21:45,300 --> 01:21:46,665
l heard what you say...
You want the tricks but not having no offspring
875
01:21:46,735 --> 01:21:48,032
That should be fine
876
01:21:48,403 --> 01:21:51,236
l will figure it out
877
01:21:57,712 --> 01:21:59,612
when you came here you held tight onto this brush
878
01:22:01,082 --> 01:22:02,515
l know it must be very important to you
879
01:22:04,252 --> 01:22:05,583
l got it repaired
880
01:22:16,564 --> 01:22:22,503
Thank you so much for your care
881
01:22:24,139 --> 01:22:26,107
l'll have to return the favour in my next life
882
01:22:32,147 --> 01:22:36,049
Yuxiang bids farewell...
883
01:22:37,319 --> 01:22:38,081
Yuxiang...
884
01:22:41,589 --> 01:22:43,614
lf anything can possibly be done
to save your ex.husband
885
01:22:44,159 --> 01:22:44,750
l have done it already
886
01:22:46,428 --> 01:22:48,225
You are just sacrificing for nothing
887
01:22:52,367 --> 01:22:55,063
lf l can die with him
888
01:22:55,770 --> 01:23:00,332
together on the same day
889
01:23:01,242 --> 01:23:02,766
l have no regret
890
01:23:30,438 --> 01:23:31,564
Please wait here
891
01:23:35,543 --> 01:23:36,202
Your Highness
892
01:23:37,746 --> 01:23:40,044
This is Yuxiang, the wife of weiyangshang
893
01:23:44,152 --> 01:23:45,244
Your Highness
894
01:24:07,609 --> 01:24:09,634
Your Highness, where is my husband?
895
01:24:15,250 --> 01:24:16,581
Come and take a look then you will know
896
01:25:11,739 --> 01:25:13,536
l admire his courage to do this to himself
897
01:25:14,042 --> 01:25:15,031
Otherwise, when the worms reach his bone
898
01:25:15,143 --> 01:25:16,440
He will die for sure
899
01:25:18,213 --> 01:25:21,239
Your Highness, l beg you
900
01:25:21,349 --> 01:25:23,408
please give him treatment
901
01:25:23,518 --> 01:25:25,418
l beg you... why would l do that?
902
01:25:26,287 --> 01:25:27,584
lf you can help him
903
01:25:27,722 --> 01:25:32,091
l'd do whatever you want me to
904
01:25:34,295 --> 01:25:36,354
Please save my husband
905
01:26:09,130 --> 01:26:10,290
As soon as l take this pill
906
01:26:11,232 --> 01:26:13,666
l'd have an erection that
lasts for 49 days and nights?
907
01:26:16,271 --> 01:26:17,135
Perfectly safe?
908
01:26:17,405 --> 01:26:18,463
Yes, Perfectly safe
909
01:26:18,740 --> 01:26:19,638
You take one first!
910
01:27:16,531 --> 01:27:17,190
Shit!
911
01:27:23,705 --> 01:27:26,037
Dong Mei, ask Dong Mei to come
912
01:27:26,674 --> 01:27:29,370
Hurry up, ask Dong Mei to come
913
01:27:32,780 --> 01:27:34,543
Right now!
914
01:30:14,108 --> 01:30:16,042
Dong Mei!
915
01:30:31,692 --> 01:30:34,126
Sir...please....
916
01:30:37,398 --> 01:30:39,559
l am just an official to the Emperor
917
01:30:39,667 --> 01:30:41,760
l'm sorry that l'm unable to help
918
01:30:46,307 --> 01:30:47,137
hmm...l understand...
919
01:30:48,276 --> 01:30:51,074
Bring the treasure that is passed
on to me by my ancestors
920
01:30:51,179 --> 01:30:51,645
Yes, master
921
01:30:56,050 --> 01:30:57,711
Open the lock. Yes Sir
922
01:31:03,391 --> 01:31:05,518
Okay. Go now. Yes
923
01:31:06,594 --> 01:31:09,188
You're still alive? The Prince wants to see you
924
01:31:11,399 --> 01:31:14,027
Although l had snatched your love from you
925
01:31:15,036 --> 01:31:17,766
you have also separated my wife and l
926
01:31:18,473 --> 01:31:20,998
Now l may be handicapped for the rest of my life
927
01:31:21,809 --> 01:31:24,039
Are you still angry?
928
01:31:35,156 --> 01:31:35,986
well...
929
01:31:36,224 --> 01:31:38,351
we are square now
930
01:31:39,126 --> 01:31:41,720
Okay. Maybe l've done wrong
931
01:31:42,663 --> 01:31:46,531
but Monk Budai is in
his Buddhist practice for 50 years
932
01:31:47,468 --> 01:31:48,765
He is absolutely innocent
933
01:31:50,304 --> 01:31:52,602
l know you since six years old
934
01:31:53,074 --> 01:31:54,098
and we have twenty years of friendship
935
01:31:55,176 --> 01:31:57,303
Can l beg you to do one thing for me?
936
01:31:59,447 --> 01:32:01,381
Please go to see Monk Budai and warn him
937
01:32:02,783 --> 01:32:05,650
that The Prince is going to take revenge on him
938
01:32:05,753 --> 01:32:08,688
l beg you, please do me this flavour
939
01:32:35,716 --> 01:32:37,513
Look carefully!
940
01:32:44,325 --> 01:32:45,257
Look carefully!
941
01:32:49,463 --> 01:32:50,987
How do you want to torture me now?
942
01:32:51,098 --> 01:32:52,258
Let you see something
943
01:32:52,366 --> 01:32:53,526
This horse is fun to play with
944
01:32:53,634 --> 01:32:55,192
lf you play with its tail
945
01:32:57,638 --> 01:32:58,627
The iron lotus above it
946
01:33:02,276 --> 01:33:03,208
will open and close
947
01:34:10,211 --> 01:34:10,643
Stop!
948
01:34:18,319 --> 01:34:22,312
Your Highness, it's my fault, l deserve it
949
01:34:22,423 --> 01:34:25,119
Can you punish me and let her go?
950
01:34:26,727 --> 01:34:28,627
She comes and begs me to save you
951
01:34:29,363 --> 01:34:31,331
now you want me to let her go
952
01:34:32,199 --> 01:34:33,598
Are you two joining together to fool me around
953
01:34:34,335 --> 01:34:37,771
lf you can let her go, l can do anything!
954
01:34:38,572 --> 01:34:42,064
lf you want to kill me, that's fine!
955
01:34:43,110 --> 01:34:44,441
l don't want to kill you
956
01:34:52,787 --> 01:34:53,549
well, let's chop it off!
957
01:34:54,321 --> 01:34:55,754
lf you are willing to chop your penis off,
l'll let your wife go!
958
01:34:57,458 --> 01:34:58,254
No problem, chop it off!
959
01:34:59,760 --> 01:35:02,422
You're willing to chop your penis off?
960
01:35:03,030 --> 01:35:04,429
Okay, l want to see
how you can be a man from now on
961
01:35:06,467 --> 01:35:08,458
Go and catch Tiancan and Dique
962
01:35:17,211 --> 01:35:18,200
Old monster
963
01:35:18,746 --> 01:35:20,543
do you know why l keep you alive?
964
01:35:21,115 --> 01:35:23,310
Your Highness thinks l am still useful.
l will do anything you ask...
965
01:35:23,751 --> 01:35:24,513
Ruizhu
966
01:35:49,210 --> 01:35:50,541
You dare to feed me with some random pills
967
01:35:51,112 --> 01:35:52,272
l have poisonous pills too
968
01:35:55,382 --> 01:35:57,475
This pill that you have taken
will give you half day's life
969
01:35:58,119 --> 01:36:00,178
lf you don't have my medication in 12 hours
970
01:36:00,755 --> 01:36:03,053
You will bleed from seven holes
and explode before you die
971
01:36:03,557 --> 01:36:05,286
You need to go to
The Amarus Bamboo Temple with Rizhu
972
01:36:05,760 --> 01:36:07,159
and use your exclusive
973
01:36:07,294 --> 01:36:09,023
sexual arousing incense
974
01:36:09,396 --> 01:36:11,660
to help Ruizhu to seduce the goddemn Monk Budai
975
01:36:12,533 --> 01:36:13,465
lf you finish your mission
976
01:36:13,567 --> 01:36:15,296
And come back within half day
977
01:36:17,605 --> 01:36:19,163
l might give you medicine
978
01:36:19,473 --> 01:36:20,371
what if.....
979
01:36:23,744 --> 01:36:25,541
You talk again l will kill you right away. Go now!
980
01:36:26,781 --> 01:36:28,681
Don't push. l can walk
981
01:36:28,783 --> 01:36:29,374
Hurry up
982
01:36:29,483 --> 01:36:31,542
Are you blind? Can't you see that l am disabled?
983
01:36:52,373 --> 01:36:55,274
where are you going?
we are putting up a great show now
984
01:36:56,744 --> 01:36:57,335
l....
985
01:37:00,014 --> 01:37:00,605
Get out!
986
01:37:01,448 --> 01:37:02,244
Hurry out!
987
01:37:05,252 --> 01:37:07,152
Stay and see how l fool the two of them around
988
01:37:07,621 --> 01:37:09,088
l guarantee you'll feel delighted
989
01:37:09,390 --> 01:37:11,984
Save Monk Budai. Save him
990
01:37:12,293 --> 01:37:12,759
kneel
991
01:37:26,440 --> 01:37:28,408
Save Monk Budai. Save him
992
01:37:29,276 --> 01:37:30,174
Stuff his mouth
993
01:37:32,246 --> 01:37:33,645
Save Monk Budai. Save...
994
01:37:56,370 --> 01:37:58,531
You have a great cock that
you can fuck 10 women at the same time, right?
995
01:37:59,406 --> 01:38:01,374
Now l want your woman
to see your cock being chopped
996
01:38:02,576 --> 01:38:03,736
Take Yuxiang here!
997
01:38:05,346 --> 01:38:06,711
The Royal Guards are here
998
01:38:09,650 --> 01:38:10,378
How is the Emperor?
999
01:38:10,517 --> 01:38:11,415
Your Highness. The Emperor is doing great
1000
01:38:12,319 --> 01:38:13,752
we came from the Capital without stopping
1001
01:38:14,088 --> 01:38:15,385
To carry out this order
1002
01:38:17,024 --> 01:38:18,013
we can go now
1003
01:38:20,261 --> 01:38:21,387
Your Highness, please
1004
01:38:33,741 --> 01:38:35,299
Look. My dear
1005
01:38:36,543 --> 01:38:38,067
My dear
1006
01:38:42,683 --> 01:38:45,584
what a sweet couple in love
1007
01:38:48,589 --> 01:38:49,749
l want to hear
1008
01:38:50,090 --> 01:38:52,149
what you havr to say to each other
from your heart
1009
01:38:52,660 --> 01:38:54,252
l've divorced you
1010
01:38:54,762 --> 01:38:57,026
why do you come here to risk your life?
1011
01:38:58,399 --> 01:38:59,696
After you left
1012
01:39:00,100 --> 01:39:03,001
l found that l cannot live without you
1013
01:39:03,671 --> 01:39:05,662
But now you are risking your life
1014
01:39:06,373 --> 01:39:08,136
for nothing
1015
01:39:10,544 --> 01:39:13,411
My dear, that's fine
1016
01:39:14,014 --> 01:39:17,643
lf l die with you at the same time,
l am satisfied
1017
01:39:19,286 --> 01:39:20,082
Me too...
1018
01:39:21,221 --> 01:39:23,712
My sweatheart... My dear...
1019
01:39:24,058 --> 01:39:27,118
Very touching...
1020
01:39:28,095 --> 01:39:30,029
l am about to cry...
1021
01:39:31,398 --> 01:39:32,262
Cuff them
1022
01:39:33,267 --> 01:39:34,199
Are you ready?
1023
01:39:34,335 --> 01:39:36,565
Your Highness, we're almost ready
1024
01:39:37,671 --> 01:39:39,036
but...
1025
01:39:40,307 --> 01:39:42,241
although we are not great doctors
1026
01:39:42,343 --> 01:39:44,174
we still have a kind heart
1027
01:39:44,278 --> 01:39:46,143
we consider saving lives our duty
1028
01:39:47,314 --> 01:39:50,249
The true love between them awakes
our consciousness
1029
01:39:50,751 --> 01:39:52,514
to separate a loving couple
1030
01:39:52,619 --> 01:39:54,519
or to hurt someone's lower body
1031
01:39:54,621 --> 01:39:56,748
to destroy their lives?
1032
01:39:57,057 --> 01:39:58,115
we won't do it
1033
01:39:58,225 --> 01:39:59,988
The second commandment of
our school of teaching is
1034
01:40:00,094 --> 01:40:01,527
that whoever uses his knowledge to do evil
1035
01:40:01,628 --> 01:40:03,289
he is disrespectful to his master
1036
01:40:03,397 --> 01:40:05,695
He will be punished.
He will be hit by five thunders
1037
01:40:06,467 --> 01:40:08,731
So to say,
we can lose our life and shed our blood
1038
01:40:09,069 --> 01:40:10,468
we cannot change our code of standard!
1039
01:40:10,604 --> 01:40:13,266
People like us are just stubborn!
1040
01:40:13,407 --> 01:40:15,102
Just plain stubborn!
1041
01:40:15,376 --> 01:40:16,468
Yeah!
1042
01:40:18,712 --> 01:40:20,111
well, life is ...
1043
01:40:20,214 --> 01:40:22,580
Also the art of compromising
1044
01:40:22,683 --> 01:40:24,207
Your Highness, how do you want it chopped?
1045
01:40:24,318 --> 01:40:25,580
Slice it or cut into strips?
1046
01:40:25,686 --> 01:40:27,153
So you can disregard the commandments
from your master?
1047
01:40:28,222 --> 01:40:30,156
The first commandment is
1048
01:40:30,257 --> 01:40:31,724
“the knowledge must pass on”
1049
01:40:32,026 --> 01:40:32,754
lf the first commandment
1050
01:40:33,060 --> 01:40:35,119
is in conflict with the second
1051
01:40:35,229 --> 01:40:36,696
the first has priority
1052
01:40:37,097 --> 01:40:38,564
The two of us are the only remaining students
1053
01:40:38,699 --> 01:40:40,223
so we must not die
1054
01:40:40,667 --> 01:40:44,501
Let's make it quick. where do you want to cut?
1055
01:40:44,605 --> 01:40:45,401
Let's go
1056
01:40:48,308 --> 01:40:50,003
You must keep him alive
1057
01:40:50,477 --> 01:40:52,536
l ask you guys to do it
because l don't want him to die so quick
1058
01:40:53,447 --> 01:40:54,539
l still want to play with him!
1059
01:40:54,681 --> 01:40:55,648
Yes
1060
01:41:00,254 --> 01:41:00,982
what's the matter?
1061
01:41:03,457 --> 01:41:04,389
You two go and take a look
1062
01:41:04,491 --> 01:41:05,150
Yes
1063
01:41:05,359 --> 01:41:07,623
lt's fine, Your Highness. l... l just need a rest
1064
01:41:08,062 --> 01:41:08,994
l'll be okay
1065
01:41:12,766 --> 01:41:13,630
Okay
1066
01:41:14,268 --> 01:41:15,496
Are you okay?
1067
01:41:16,637 --> 01:41:18,764
You can go back. l am fine
1068
01:41:19,273 --> 01:41:20,467
Go, go... Yes
1069
01:41:29,016 --> 01:41:31,416
who are you?
How dare you coming here without permission?
1070
01:41:31,652 --> 01:41:34,280
we have the Emperor's order to
arrest The Prince of Ning
1071
01:41:34,488 --> 01:41:37,252
Put down your weapons, or else, you'll be killed
1072
01:41:47,234 --> 01:41:48,565
Your husband is about to lose his cock
1073
01:41:49,203 --> 01:41:50,568
He cannot have sex with you
for the rest for his life
1074
01:41:51,338 --> 01:41:54,068
Yuxiang, l am so sorry to you...
1075
01:41:54,475 --> 01:41:54,736
Cut it
1076
01:41:58,278 --> 01:41:59,176
Bite it tight
1077
01:42:46,059 --> 01:42:49,460
My dear husband,
even if we cannot make love anymore
1078
01:42:49,563 --> 01:42:52,157
lt is not important
1079
01:42:53,200 --> 01:42:55,100
As long as l know that
1080
01:42:55,435 --> 01:42:56,732
you love me
1081
01:42:57,304 --> 01:42:59,636
And that's the greatest satisfaction
1082
01:43:00,574 --> 01:43:02,701
They can kill us
1083
01:43:03,477 --> 01:43:06,412
but they cannot separate our hearts
1084
01:43:12,219 --> 01:43:14,687
My dear husband, l love you!
1085
01:43:29,570 --> 01:43:30,332
Abbot!
1086
01:43:31,138 --> 01:43:32,105
who is it?
1087
01:43:34,041 --> 01:43:35,702
My master is weiyangshang
1088
01:43:36,143 --> 01:43:38,134
He sent me here to bring some Buddha books to you
1089
01:43:38,278 --> 01:43:39,711
Your master has a kind heart
1090
01:43:40,047 --> 01:43:41,207
Please tell him l am very thankful
1091
01:43:41,448 --> 01:43:43,109
Not a problem. Abbot, l am leaving now
1092
01:43:49,389 --> 01:43:50,117
what's the matter...
1093
01:43:54,027 --> 01:43:55,392
Are you okay?
1094
01:44:08,242 --> 01:44:10,972
So...is it okay
1095
01:44:12,012 --> 01:44:14,003
...to let Yuxiang go....
1096
01:44:15,215 --> 01:44:16,512
Let her go?
1097
01:44:20,020 --> 01:44:22,045
l am a man of my word
1098
01:44:22,422 --> 01:44:25,152
l haven't played enough of her
1099
01:44:26,526 --> 01:44:29,620
Let her go! You bastard!
1100
01:44:36,169 --> 01:44:38,501
This is an iron chastity belt
1101
01:44:38,605 --> 01:44:42,541
made by the first Jin Emperor
1102
01:44:46,179 --> 01:44:48,613
ln the world, except with this key in my hand
1103
01:44:49,449 --> 01:44:50,677
no one can open it
1104
01:44:51,084 --> 01:44:52,608
l'm going to put the belt on her
1105
01:44:53,754 --> 01:44:55,585
From now on, she is unable
to have sex for the rest of her life
1106
01:44:57,057 --> 01:44:58,354
No one can even touch her
1107
01:44:59,493 --> 01:45:03,156
you are an animal! Scumbag!
1108
01:45:05,499 --> 01:45:06,625
Go away, loser
1109
01:45:15,142 --> 01:45:16,404
Since you don't have your cock anymore
1110
01:45:17,544 --> 01:45:18,704
l'll fuck her well for you
1111
01:45:20,714 --> 01:45:22,375
l'll kill you
1112
01:45:22,749 --> 01:45:24,273
l am going to fuck her now
1113
01:45:28,088 --> 01:45:28,747
Stop!
1114
01:45:30,057 --> 01:45:30,546
Tianchan
1115
01:46:02,756 --> 01:46:03,381
Go
1116
01:46:06,093 --> 01:46:07,253
You really piss us off
1117
01:46:15,802 --> 01:46:17,064
Stop
1118
01:46:18,572 --> 01:46:19,596
Dique
1119
01:46:30,384 --> 01:46:31,646
Disabled but not useless
1120
01:46:31,785 --> 01:46:33,685
Both of us are disabled for our life
1121
01:46:34,020 --> 01:46:36,147
You are different. You will get punished
1122
01:46:36,456 --> 01:46:37,286
Punished?
1123
01:46:38,525 --> 01:46:39,514
Retribution?
1124
01:46:49,569 --> 01:46:51,537
who dares to stop me anymore!
1125
01:46:55,075 --> 01:46:56,975
l am going to fuck your wife now!
1126
01:47:01,314 --> 01:47:03,680
That's odd. You don't seem sick from your pulses
1127
01:47:05,252 --> 01:47:06,241
But... Venerable Sir
1128
01:47:06,386 --> 01:47:08,377
lt really hurts in my stomach
1129
01:47:08,522 --> 01:47:10,990
Now you're in such pain,
l have to get someone to help you...
1130
01:47:11,725 --> 01:47:14,159
You don't have to get help
1131
01:47:15,629 --> 01:47:19,395
ln fact, l've had this weird sickness
ever since l was a child
1132
01:47:19,733 --> 01:47:21,200
On the first day of every month,
and whenever there's a full moon
1133
01:47:21,535 --> 01:47:24,129
my stomach hurts like hell inexplicably
1134
01:47:25,071 --> 01:47:27,062
How can there be such
a weird sickness in this world!
1135
01:47:27,541 --> 01:47:30,101
But my pain will go away
if Venerable Sir would help me
1136
01:47:30,210 --> 01:47:32,178
lf you warms my tummy up with yours
1137
01:47:32,279 --> 01:47:34,611
the pain will be alleviated
1138
01:47:34,714 --> 01:47:37,444
Huh? l've never heard of
such treatment all my life
1139
01:47:37,551 --> 01:47:39,348
Never
1140
01:47:40,387 --> 01:47:42,287
Venerable Sir, just like this
1141
01:47:45,225 --> 01:47:46,283
Yes, just like this
1142
01:47:46,426 --> 01:47:48,621
lf you are feeling better, you can get up now
1143
01:47:52,265 --> 01:47:54,165
Not so soon, Venerable Sir
1144
01:47:54,768 --> 01:47:56,395
Just hang in there for a bit longer.
l'm gonna be okay soon
1145
01:47:56,536 --> 01:47:57,662
Could you please?
1146
01:48:12,752 --> 01:48:13,241
what?
1147
01:48:13,353 --> 01:48:15,014
where did the flying dagger come from?
1148
01:48:45,252 --> 01:48:46,549
No, please get up
1149
01:48:48,255 --> 01:48:49,517
why are you taking off your clothes?
1150
01:48:50,457 --> 01:48:51,583
You are a woman!
1151
01:48:55,629 --> 01:48:57,119
Excuse me.
what are you doing? Are you blind?
1152
01:48:57,230 --> 01:48:58,128
That's so rude. Excuse me
1153
01:49:16,516 --> 01:49:17,540
Help!
1154
01:49:18,585 --> 01:49:19,483
Help!
1155
01:49:25,792 --> 01:49:26,690
what are you doing?
1156
01:49:27,260 --> 01:49:30,388
Stop, please stop. You....
1157
01:49:36,636 --> 01:49:37,694
what are you doing?
1158
01:49:41,474 --> 01:49:42,566
Get away from me
1159
01:50:05,465 --> 01:50:13,565
Form is emptiness, emptiness is form...
1160
01:50:15,075 --> 01:50:16,440
He threw the flying daggers. Catch him
1161
01:50:47,474 --> 01:50:48,133
Run...
1162
01:51:16,036 --> 01:51:17,298
l fed your wife so well
1163
01:51:18,471 --> 01:51:21,372
l will kill you!
1164
01:51:24,577 --> 01:51:25,544
She is not that much fun
1165
01:51:27,614 --> 01:51:28,603
Put the chastity belt on
1166
01:51:29,416 --> 01:51:52,364
Form is emptiness, emptiness is form...
1167
01:52:58,204 --> 01:53:06,236
Namo Amitabha
1168
01:53:06,346 --> 01:53:11,750
Form is emptiness, emptiness is form...
1169
01:53:12,185 --> 01:53:15,086
Abbot, are you all empty now?
1170
01:53:15,188 --> 01:53:19,215
Namo Amitabha
1171
01:53:19,359 --> 01:53:21,486
Form is emptiness, emptiness is form...
1172
01:53:21,628 --> 01:53:28,261
Namo Amitabha
1173
01:53:57,263 --> 01:53:58,594
You won't be able to open it
for the rest of your life
1174
01:54:19,719 --> 01:54:20,743
My dear wife
1175
01:54:24,791 --> 01:54:26,588
do you still remember?
1176
01:54:27,727 --> 01:54:33,563
A picture comes to life
with the artist's exquisite strokes
1177
01:54:34,100 --> 01:54:36,193
The most wonderful moment of my life
1178
01:54:37,136 --> 01:54:40,628
ls the day when l first met you
1179
01:54:41,708 --> 01:54:44,541
l've been with many women
1180
01:54:45,445 --> 01:54:49,074
Every night l sleep on human praying mat
1181
01:54:50,183 --> 01:54:52,048
what l've learnt is
1182
01:54:53,353 --> 01:54:55,651
that physical pleasure is not real joy
1183
01:54:56,789 --> 01:55:00,418
Real love is the most valuable
1184
01:55:03,563 --> 01:55:05,155
My sweetheart
1185
01:55:07,734 --> 01:55:09,395
My dear
1186
01:55:11,204 --> 01:55:11,761
Your Highness
1187
01:55:12,071 --> 01:55:13,436
The Emperor has sent his Royal Guard
1188
01:55:13,773 --> 01:55:14,762
to arrest you
1189
01:55:15,074 --> 01:55:17,542
They said you are helping a wanted man to hide
1190
01:55:18,011 --> 01:55:19,205
Your Highness, please leave now!
1191
01:55:22,348 --> 01:55:24,248
Fine, you go first!
1192
01:55:24,517 --> 01:55:25,313
Thank you, Your Highness...
1193
01:55:31,791 --> 01:55:34,521
See who still wants to go!
1194
01:55:35,628 --> 01:55:36,526
Go
1195
01:56:22,542 --> 01:56:23,736
Trip me?
1196
01:56:37,457 --> 01:56:39,357
Abbot...
1197
01:56:42,562 --> 01:56:47,693
The Abbot killed himself for some reason!
1198
01:56:48,301 --> 01:56:49,097
Abbot!
1199
01:56:54,273 --> 01:56:55,205
Abbot!
1200
01:56:55,708 --> 01:56:59,235
My 50 years of Buddhist practice
and prayer are all ruined in one night
1201
01:56:59,445 --> 01:57:02,414
l can't rest in peace
1202
01:57:04,617 --> 01:57:08,747
Abbot...
1203
01:57:10,089 --> 01:57:11,681
Abbot died because of the two people
who were just here
1204
01:57:13,059 --> 01:57:14,390
Even Buddha is angry this time!
1205
01:57:14,494 --> 01:57:16,018
Catch him! Yes!
1206
01:57:16,129 --> 01:57:17,289
Go!
1207
01:57:21,234 --> 01:57:29,403
Abbot ... Abbot... Abbot...
1208
01:57:34,080 --> 01:57:36,480
Catch him! Catch him!
1209
01:57:44,424 --> 01:57:45,618
Chop me?
1210
01:57:46,292 --> 01:57:47,657
You will never have the chance in your life
1211
01:57:54,567 --> 01:57:56,398
Don't go. Stand Still. Stop there
1212
01:57:56,502 --> 01:57:57,594
Don't go. Stand Still
1213
01:57:57,703 --> 01:57:58,465
Stand Still
1214
01:57:59,739 --> 01:58:02,299
Stop there. keep chasing!
1215
01:58:02,408 --> 01:58:03,602
Stand still. They are here!
1216
01:58:03,676 --> 01:58:04,700
Don't let them go
1217
01:58:13,753 --> 01:58:15,118
Are you okay?
1218
01:58:15,588 --> 01:58:16,486
Stand Still
1219
01:58:16,622 --> 01:58:17,646
Catch them
1220
01:58:17,790 --> 01:58:18,518
Don't go
1221
01:58:18,658 --> 01:58:19,590
Stop
1222
01:58:20,793 --> 01:58:22,124
we cannot let them go
1223
01:58:23,062 --> 01:58:23,460
Chase him
1224
01:58:23,596 --> 01:58:24,528
Catch them ...
1225
01:58:25,298 --> 01:58:26,230
Don't go, you!
1226
01:58:29,302 --> 01:58:31,133
Stop there. Don't think you can go
1227
01:58:34,774 --> 01:58:35,706
Stand still. what?
1228
01:58:38,111 --> 01:58:39,578
what's going on? what is it?
1229
01:58:51,324 --> 01:58:54,293
weiyangshang, you are my friend
1230
01:58:55,161 --> 01:58:56,560
why did you bad.mouth me?
1231
01:59:00,533 --> 01:59:02,364
And criticized me in front of the emperor?
1232
01:59:08,708 --> 01:59:09,606
why are you laughing?
1233
01:59:12,712 --> 01:59:14,339
what are you laughing at?
1234
01:59:18,317 --> 01:59:20,285
l will kill your wife now
1235
01:59:28,227 --> 01:59:30,252
The Emperor's order is to arrest
The Prince of Ning
1236
01:59:37,603 --> 01:59:38,501
Yuxiang.....
1237
02:00:20,546 --> 02:00:22,275
Did you see this? The Metal Plate!
1238
02:00:23,482 --> 02:00:25,416
who dares to arrest me?
1239
02:00:28,187 --> 02:00:30,382
kneel down now, or l will kill his whole family!
1240
02:00:39,165 --> 02:00:40,393
Chief Official?
1241
02:00:40,800 --> 02:00:42,324
Even with the Emperor's order, what can you do?
1242
02:00:44,503 --> 02:00:45,663
Traitor
1243
02:00:56,382 --> 02:00:58,179
l am killing him in front of you
1244
02:01:04,257 --> 02:01:05,417
Please find a way to help...
1245
02:01:06,492 --> 02:01:09,120
l am just a government official. l can't help...
1246
02:01:14,767 --> 02:01:15,756
l am going to kill you now
1247
02:01:32,051 --> 02:01:33,416
You shot me?!
1248
02:01:34,086 --> 02:01:36,179
Fuck, how could you miss?!
1249
02:02:07,153 --> 02:02:09,314
l will chop your penis off!
1250
02:02:24,570 --> 02:02:26,470
Arrest them all. Yes
1251
02:02:36,415 --> 02:02:37,473
My sweetheart
1252
02:02:40,019 --> 02:02:41,077
My dear husband
1253
02:02:42,355 --> 02:02:46,291
My dear husband... My dear husband
1254
02:02:49,428 --> 02:02:51,328
My dear husband
1255
02:02:58,471 --> 02:02:59,995
First bow
1256
02:03:00,272 --> 02:03:04,003
Second bow, third bow
1257
02:03:04,343 --> 02:03:05,605
Please drink tea
1258
02:03:05,745 --> 02:03:08,612
After drinking this tea, you are blessed
with fortune. Congratulations, congratulations
1259
02:03:09,248 --> 02:03:11,614
This couple are in their 90s
1260
02:03:11,751 --> 02:03:14,015
they have been happily married for decades
1261
02:03:14,153 --> 02:03:15,984
They come here to give you blessings
1262
02:03:16,122 --> 02:03:16,986
Mr. and Mrs. Good Fortune
1263
02:03:17,123 --> 02:03:18,590
Greetings
1264
02:03:19,325 --> 02:03:20,417
Good
1265
02:03:21,260 --> 02:03:23,558
l will give you a red packet later on
1266
02:03:26,799 --> 02:03:29,427
May l ask
1267
02:03:29,535 --> 02:03:31,196
how can you stay in love for decades
1268
02:03:33,572 --> 02:03:35,369
Because l love her dearly
1269
02:03:36,242 --> 02:03:38,506
But, from what l can see
1270
02:03:38,611 --> 02:03:41,375
l dare say you haven't had sex for a long time
1271
02:03:41,480 --> 02:03:43,710
lf you don't make, you won't have love, right?
1272
02:03:46,585 --> 02:03:48,212
Chastity belt?
1273
02:03:48,754 --> 02:03:50,244
when we were your age
1274
02:03:50,389 --> 02:03:52,118
we were unable to do it already
1275
02:03:55,027 --> 02:03:57,518
My dear, there are so many people here
1276
02:03:57,663 --> 02:03:58,994
That's embarrassing
1277
02:04:01,267 --> 02:04:03,030
...ill...
1278
02:04:06,439 --> 02:04:10,375
Young man,
it doesn't matter if you can do it or not
1279
02:04:11,110 --> 02:04:12,975
you will understand as time goes by
1280
02:04:14,079 --> 02:04:15,137
Let's take a walk
1281
02:04:15,648 --> 02:04:16,444
Okay
1282
02:04:20,319 --> 02:04:22,583
Fuck, what nonsense. How werid
1283
02:04:23,305 --> 02:05:23,205
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