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1
00:00:06,689 --> 00:00:08,241
- [bell dings]
- God, I hate flying.
2
00:00:08,344 --> 00:00:10,310
You know if this plane goes
down, the headline's gonna read,
3
00:00:10,413 --> 00:00:12,793
"ChaseDreams 'comma' others,
die in plan crash."
4
00:00:12,896 --> 00:00:14,482
We are "comma others."
5
00:00:14,586 --> 00:00:16,793
Just need to see our pilots,
and as long as they have
6
00:00:16,896 --> 00:00:18,413
salt-and-pepper hair,
I am good.
7
00:00:18,517 --> 00:00:20,344
- Why?
- Salt-and-pepper hair.
8
00:00:20,448 --> 00:00:23,068
It's experience, it's knowledge,
it's miles.
9
00:00:23,172 --> 00:00:25,517
My ideal pilot is John Slattery.
10
00:00:25,620 --> 00:00:27,275
- This isn't
even a real flight, okay?
11
00:00:27,379 --> 00:00:29,827
We're just gonna be circling
JFK for 90 minutes.
12
00:00:29,931 --> 00:00:32,517
Why couldn't Chase just release
his album in a club?
13
00:00:32,620 --> 00:00:35,137
- Uh, because any idiot
can release an album on land.
14
00:00:35,241 --> 00:00:37,448
Only truly bomb people do it
in the air.
15
00:00:37,551 --> 00:00:40,413
- Can we please not say
bomb and air right now?
16
00:00:40,517 --> 00:00:42,758
- Look, this is gonna be fun,
okay?
17
00:00:42,862 --> 00:00:44,103
And we're not gonna die.
18
00:00:44,206 --> 00:00:46,310
- When I say Chase,
you say Dreams!
19
00:00:46,413 --> 00:00:47,793
- Chase!
- ALL: Dreams!
20
00:00:47,896 --> 00:00:49,000
- Chase!
- ALL: Dreams!
21
00:00:49,103 --> 00:00:52,206
- ALL: [cheering]
22
00:00:52,310 --> 00:00:54,206
- Okay, we might die.
23
00:00:54,310 --> 00:00:56,448
- ♪
24
00:00:58,103 --> 00:01:02,137
- Okay, welcome, everyone.
And shut up.
25
00:01:02,241 --> 00:01:05,241
Love the excitement.
Can't take the noise.
26
00:01:05,344 --> 00:01:09,000
Now, you're here because
you're Chase's biggest fans.
27
00:01:09,103 --> 00:01:10,620
And because your parents
are rich.
28
00:01:10,724 --> 00:01:12,827
- Is ChaseDreams really
on the plane?
29
00:01:12,931 --> 00:01:14,724
- Yes.
- [laughing]
30
00:01:14,827 --> 00:01:17,931
- And for you super fans, it's
not just Chase on the plane,
31
00:01:18,034 --> 00:01:19,655
but the whole Dream family.
32
00:01:19,758 --> 00:01:21,965
- [crowd cheering]
33
00:01:22,068 --> 00:01:25,000
- Love you, Cary.
- I love you, too.
34
00:01:25,103 --> 00:01:26,517
- [cheering continues]
35
00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:27,931
- Hey, Cary.
36
00:01:28,034 --> 00:01:31,620
Your hair is looking
a lot less swoopt.
37
00:01:31,724 --> 00:01:34,655
- I know. Why didn't you
tell me I looked crazy?
38
00:01:34,758 --> 00:01:36,413
- Well, I was trying to be
supportive.
39
00:01:36,517 --> 00:01:38,068
Also, it was also
really funny.
40
00:01:38,172 --> 00:01:40,172
- You're the one that told me
to ride the wave.
41
00:01:40,275 --> 00:01:43,413
- I told you to use Chase,
not become him.
42
00:01:43,517 --> 00:01:46,965
- Once we reach 30,000 feet,
we will be streaming live
43
00:01:47,068 --> 00:01:48,827
on ChaseDreams.com.
44
00:01:48,931 --> 00:01:53,275
There are cameras all over
the plane, except the bathrooms.
45
00:01:53,379 --> 00:01:56,413
Viewers will be able to watch
any camera at any time.
46
00:01:56,517 --> 00:02:01,517
So, if you need to yawn, burp,
sneeze, fart, do it now,
47
00:02:01,620 --> 00:02:03,206
and do it fast.
48
00:02:03,310 --> 00:02:05,448
- [fart]
- Excellent.
49
00:02:05,551 --> 00:02:07,241
- Ooh, um...
50
00:02:07,344 --> 00:02:09,103
here's a random question.
51
00:02:09,206 --> 00:02:14,172
Lance--he's just
such an idiot, right?
52
00:02:14,275 --> 00:02:15,724
- Um, sure.
53
00:02:15,827 --> 00:02:20,586
- But he's, you know--he's
kind of cool, as well.
54
00:02:20,689 --> 00:02:22,137
- So you're getting
back together with him?
55
00:02:22,241 --> 00:02:23,620
- No!
- Yes.
56
00:02:23,724 --> 00:02:24,620
- No.
57
00:02:24,724 --> 00:02:27,241
No, never, I just--
58
00:02:27,344 --> 00:02:28,758
I think you should be
nicer to him.
59
00:02:28,862 --> 00:02:30,241
- Okay, Brooke.
60
00:02:30,344 --> 00:02:32,103
God, I wish I had seen
those pilots.
61
00:02:32,206 --> 00:02:34,310
- Hey, Car, I know
you're scared of flying,
62
00:02:34,413 --> 00:02:36,896
so I thought you might wanna
hold Helen for a little bit.
63
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:38,413
- You brought a pig
on the plane?
64
00:02:38,517 --> 00:02:40,448
- It's a therapy pig.
I got it for you.
65
00:02:40,551 --> 00:02:42,793
Look, she's very calming, unless
you hold her the wrong way,
66
00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:45,758
then she'll attack you in ways
you never thought were possible.
67
00:02:45,862 --> 00:02:48,000
- Um, no thank you.
68
00:02:48,103 --> 00:02:50,034
- Okay, I was just trying
to help.
69
00:02:50,137 --> 00:02:51,413
- [pig squealing]
70
00:02:51,517 --> 00:02:53,931
- Okay, folks, we are
ten minutes out from hearing
71
00:02:54,034 --> 00:02:55,655
Chase's new album!
72
00:02:55,758 --> 00:02:56,931
- [crowd cheering]
73
00:02:57,034 --> 00:02:58,724
- Twelve incredible songs.
74
00:02:58,827 --> 00:03:02,379
We are talking over 19 minutes
of music.
75
00:03:02,482 --> 00:03:04,379
- Twelve? I thought
it only had three songs.
76
00:03:04,482 --> 00:03:08,206
- Uh-huh.
And nine remixes.
77
00:03:08,310 --> 00:03:11,448
- Hey, not to be a bummer,
but, um...
78
00:03:11,551 --> 00:03:15,068
how are you doing
with today?
79
00:03:15,172 --> 00:03:17,206
- Oh, um...
80
00:03:17,310 --> 00:03:18,551
I'm okay.
81
00:03:18,655 --> 00:03:20,931
- Sorry to bring it up, I--
- No, no, no. It's--
82
00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:23,241
It's good, I mean, it's been
almost a year and no one
83
00:03:23,344 --> 00:03:25,551
ever talks about Dad.
- Yeah, it sucks.
84
00:03:25,655 --> 00:03:27,758
- I wonder if Chase remembers
today's his birthday.
85
00:03:27,862 --> 00:03:30,172
- I'm sure Mom does.
I hope she's doing okay.
86
00:03:30,275 --> 00:03:31,620
- Hi, guys!
- Oh God.
87
00:03:31,724 --> 00:03:34,241
- Hey! How--how you doing
with today?
88
00:03:34,344 --> 00:03:35,620
- I'm great. I'm great.
89
00:03:35,724 --> 00:03:37,965
This is such a big day
for Chasey and me.
90
00:03:38,068 --> 00:03:40,206
I'm wearing the first sample
from my jewelry line.
91
00:03:40,310 --> 00:03:41,655
- Oh, you have
a jewelry line now?
92
00:03:41,758 --> 00:03:43,517
- Yeah, yeah.
The book was such a hit that
93
00:03:43,620 --> 00:03:45,034
they're letting me
move into apparel now.
94
00:03:45,137 --> 00:03:46,379
This is just a prototype.
95
00:03:46,482 --> 00:03:48,551
The real version will be
four times bigger and heavier.
96
00:03:48,655 --> 00:03:50,310
- Okay, I'm gonna
go check on Chase.
97
00:03:50,413 --> 00:03:51,862
- I'm wearing it
on the live stream
98
00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:54,551
to get feedback
from "the marketplace."
99
00:03:54,655 --> 00:03:57,896
- Yeah, wow, you--you're
doing a lot.
100
00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:02,034
- [indistinct chatter]
101
00:04:02,137 --> 00:04:06,413
- Hey, kiddo, just wanted to
see how you were doing today.
102
00:04:06,517 --> 00:04:08,275
- I guess I feel
a little weird.
103
00:04:08,379 --> 00:04:09,379
- Yeah, I figured.
104
00:04:09,482 --> 00:04:11,689
You wanna talk about it?
- Sure.
105
00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:13,862
They put a bunch of filler
in my lips to make them
106
00:04:13,965 --> 00:04:16,034
look kissable, and then
I can't feel them.
107
00:04:18,275 --> 00:04:19,448
- Oh.
108
00:04:19,551 --> 00:04:21,827
- Okay, any last questions
before we go live?
109
00:04:21,931 --> 00:04:23,310
- Yeah. Where's my mom?
110
00:04:23,413 --> 00:04:26,413
- Oh, right. She arrived
not very camera ready.
111
00:04:26,517 --> 00:04:28,620
So, Cassandra will be your mom
for this flight.
112
00:04:28,724 --> 00:04:30,862
- Hello.
- That's an upgrade.
113
00:04:33,448 --> 00:04:35,000
- Chase doesn't remember either.
114
00:04:35,103 --> 00:04:36,724
- Oh my God,
that is so sad.
115
00:04:36,827 --> 00:04:38,827
- I have said it once,
I'll say it again, Cary.
116
00:04:38,931 --> 00:04:41,275
We are the only normal,
emotionally stable people
117
00:04:41,379 --> 00:04:42,896
in this family.
118
00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:45,000
- Oh God! Oh God!
119
00:04:45,103 --> 00:04:46,241
- Oh my God.
120
00:04:46,344 --> 00:04:49,172
Come on, that was not
even that bad.
121
00:04:49,275 --> 00:04:50,482
- [bell dings]
122
00:04:50,586 --> 00:04:51,931
- TIFF: Hey, guys,
it's your captains speaking--
123
00:04:52,034 --> 00:04:53,379
Tiff and Amanda.
124
00:04:53,482 --> 00:04:54,689
- AMANDA:
Sorry about the turbulence.
125
00:04:54,793 --> 00:04:57,655
But from now on, we're expecting
such a smooth ride.
126
00:04:57,758 --> 00:04:59,862
- TIFF: So relax
and enjoy the flight.
127
00:04:59,965 --> 00:05:01,172
- TIFF AND AMANDA: Byeeee!
128
00:05:01,275 --> 00:05:03,103
- Mm, no.
129
00:05:03,206 --> 00:05:06,620
Our pilot's name is Tiff?
130
00:05:06,724 --> 00:05:08,413
- Oh, what? A woman
can't be a pilot?
131
00:05:08,517 --> 00:05:09,551
- Okay.
- Wow.
132
00:05:09,655 --> 00:05:11,241
Gay misogyny is real.
133
00:05:11,344 --> 00:05:13,655
- No, a woman can be my pilot.
Alright?
134
00:05:13,758 --> 00:05:15,482
Meryl Streep can be my pilot.
135
00:05:15,586 --> 00:05:17,000
Viola Davis can be my pilot.
136
00:05:17,103 --> 00:05:19,413
- You'd rather have
Viola Davis, the actress,
137
00:05:19,517 --> 00:05:21,379
than two actual pilots?
138
00:05:21,482 --> 00:05:22,862
- [bell dings]
139
00:05:22,965 --> 00:05:25,103
- TIFF: Hey, guys, sorry to bug,
but we have now reached
140
00:05:25,206 --> 00:05:26,724
cruising altitude.
141
00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:28,241
- AMANDA: So feel free
to unbuckle
142
00:05:28,344 --> 00:05:29,620
and move about the cabins.
143
00:05:29,724 --> 00:05:31,482
- TIFF AND AMANDA:
Byeee!
144
00:05:31,586 --> 00:05:33,758
- I know you know what I mean.
- No. No, I don't.
145
00:05:33,862 --> 00:05:35,482
- They said "bye"
at the same time.
146
00:05:35,586 --> 00:05:37,793
- I love women.
147
00:05:37,896 --> 00:05:39,344
I think all pilots
should be women,
148
00:05:39,448 --> 00:05:41,793
and I think all
flight attendants should be--
149
00:05:41,896 --> 00:05:44,000
- Yeah, well, we have--
- Oh, shit.
150
00:05:44,103 --> 00:05:45,310
- What?
151
00:05:45,413 --> 00:05:47,517
- It's the guy I used
to sleep with by the airport.
152
00:05:47,620 --> 00:05:49,620
Oh my God, he's coming.
He's coming.
153
00:05:49,724 --> 00:05:52,448
[snoring]
154
00:05:54,241 --> 00:05:55,379
Ugh!
- [bell rings]
155
00:05:55,482 --> 00:05:57,586
- Okay, it's official.
We are streaming live!
156
00:05:57,689 --> 00:05:59,275
Say hi to the world, guys!
157
00:05:59,379 --> 00:06:01,586
- ALL: Hi!
158
00:06:01,689 --> 00:06:05,655
- On behalf of ChaseDreams.com,
welcome to the release of
159
00:06:05,758 --> 00:06:08,586
"Chase Manhattan,"
featuring "Speak,"
160
00:06:08,689 --> 00:06:12,310
the number-one song on iTunes
for six weeks running.
161
00:06:12,413 --> 00:06:15,413
And now the man
behind the music,
162
00:06:15,517 --> 00:06:17,344
ChaseDreams!
163
00:06:17,448 --> 00:06:18,517
- [crowd cheering]
164
00:06:18,620 --> 00:06:20,103
- ♪ We've been
a lot of places ♪
165
00:06:20,206 --> 00:06:23,551
♪ Partied in Miami, Argentina,
and Ibiza, too ♪
166
00:06:23,655 --> 00:06:25,551
♪ Never leave the dance floor
167
00:06:25,655 --> 00:06:29,793
- GIRLS: [screaming]
168
00:06:29,896 --> 00:06:32,206
- ♪ Dance all day,
dance all night ♪
169
00:06:32,310 --> 00:06:33,586
- Calm down, okay.
170
00:06:33,689 --> 00:06:35,448
Thank you guys so much
for being here.
171
00:06:35,551 --> 00:06:37,379
Today's a special day,
'cause it is the release
172
00:06:37,482 --> 00:06:39,103
of my first album
I ever got to make.
173
00:06:39,206 --> 00:06:41,758
- GIRLS: [screaming]
174
00:06:41,862 --> 00:06:43,827
- It's also special because
today would have been
175
00:06:43,931 --> 00:06:44,862
my dad's birthday.
176
00:06:44,965 --> 00:06:46,310
- GIRLS: [aws]
177
00:06:46,413 --> 00:06:48,827
- He was the best,
and I really miss him.
178
00:06:48,931 --> 00:06:50,413
He died of cancer.
179
00:06:50,517 --> 00:06:53,827
So, in honor of him,
I have a surprise.
180
00:06:53,931 --> 00:06:56,103
I'm gonna donate 10%
of my album sales
181
00:06:56,206 --> 00:06:58,206
to the American Cancer Society!
182
00:06:58,310 --> 00:07:02,517
- ALL: [screaming]
183
00:07:02,620 --> 00:07:04,206
- [indistinct whispers]
184
00:07:07,103 --> 00:07:08,655
- What are we doing?
185
00:07:08,758 --> 00:07:09,965
- There's no cameras in here.
186
00:07:10,068 --> 00:07:11,482
- I don't think there's
any AC either.
187
00:07:11,586 --> 00:07:13,103
- God, Cary, focus.
188
00:07:13,206 --> 00:07:15,655
Chase just told the whole world
that dad died of cancer.
189
00:07:15,758 --> 00:07:17,724
Mom needs to tell him the truth
before someone else does.
190
00:07:17,827 --> 00:07:18,862
- I know.
191
00:07:18,965 --> 00:07:20,655
You should talk to her.
- What? Why me?
192
00:07:20,758 --> 00:07:22,620
- Because you're
Chase's assistant now.
193
00:07:22,724 --> 00:07:24,034
- So? You are way better
194
00:07:24,137 --> 00:07:25,862
at having difficult
conversations with Mom.
195
00:07:25,965 --> 00:07:27,413
Remember when you told her
you were gay?
196
00:07:27,517 --> 00:07:28,896
- You told her I was gay.
197
00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:31,793
- I mean, who can remember
who told what, when?
198
00:07:31,896 --> 00:07:34,275
- She found weed in your purse,
so you said, "Cary's gay."
199
00:07:34,379 --> 00:07:35,827
- [laughing]
That's right.
200
00:07:35,931 --> 00:07:37,862
Well, in that case,
it's your turn.
201
00:07:37,965 --> 00:07:41,172
- ALL: [cheering]
202
00:07:41,275 --> 00:07:44,655
- ♪ Stink my butt, stink, stink,
dance until you ♪
203
00:07:44,758 --> 00:07:46,379
- Hey, Mom. Can I talk to you
204
00:07:46,482 --> 00:07:47,965
in the bathroom for a sec?
- Sure.
205
00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:50,793
- ♪ N-K, Stink ♪
206
00:07:50,896 --> 00:07:53,413
- Okay, if you guys liked
that song,
207
00:07:53,517 --> 00:07:55,862
you're love this next one,
'cause it's the same,
208
00:07:55,965 --> 00:07:56,965
plus horns.
209
00:07:57,068 --> 00:07:59,655
- ALL: [cheering]
210
00:08:01,517 --> 00:08:03,724
- How do people have sex
in these things?
211
00:08:03,827 --> 00:08:04,965
They're so small.
- Ew, Mom, gross.
212
00:08:05,068 --> 00:08:06,482
How are you not freaking out
right now?
213
00:08:06,586 --> 00:08:07,793
- About what?
214
00:08:07,896 --> 00:08:10,103
- Chase just made
his entire album about cancer,
215
00:08:10,206 --> 00:08:12,275
and he did not have a dad
that died of cancer.
216
00:08:12,379 --> 00:08:13,689
- So, it's still nice.
217
00:08:13,793 --> 00:08:15,586
And what? Are you saying you
don't want your brother
218
00:08:15,689 --> 00:08:17,758
raising money for cancer?
That's pretty low, Cary.
219
00:08:17,862 --> 00:08:20,655
- No, I don't want my little
brother labeled a liar.
220
00:08:20,758 --> 00:08:23,275
- Well, no one knows the truth
except for our family.
221
00:08:23,379 --> 00:08:24,620
Well, and the hospital.
222
00:08:24,724 --> 00:08:25,931
And Lisa from down the street.
223
00:08:26,034 --> 00:08:27,724
She's the one who brought me
the blow dryer.
224
00:08:27,827 --> 00:08:29,793
- Oh my God, Mom.
- But it's not online anywhere.
225
00:08:29,896 --> 00:08:31,931
Even his obituary said cancer.
226
00:08:32,034 --> 00:08:33,793
So this can just be like
our new family history.
227
00:08:33,896 --> 00:08:36,620
- Mom, that's not fair
to Chase.
228
00:08:37,793 --> 00:08:39,344
- We'll deal with it later.
229
00:08:39,448 --> 00:08:41,000
I mean, he's only
said cancer once.
230
00:08:41,103 --> 00:08:43,379
- Okay, guys, I've got
another surprise.
231
00:08:43,482 --> 00:08:45,275
This fall, I'm going on tour.
232
00:08:45,379 --> 00:08:47,689
And 10% of the proceeds
will also go
233
00:08:47,793 --> 00:08:49,586
to The American Cancer Society.
234
00:08:49,689 --> 00:08:53,275
- GIRLS: [cheering]
235
00:08:53,379 --> 00:08:55,275
- Great idea, Chasey!
236
00:08:55,379 --> 00:08:57,965
You're doing it!
You're fighting cancer!
237
00:08:58,068 --> 00:08:59,241
Hi, Shully.
238
00:08:59,344 --> 00:09:01,448
Can I go talk to you
in the bathroom for a second?
239
00:09:01,551 --> 00:09:04,827
- ♪
240
00:09:06,517 --> 00:09:08,137
- Listen, is there anyway
we can tone down
241
00:09:08,241 --> 00:09:09,241
the whole cancer thing?
242
00:09:09,344 --> 00:09:10,448
- Absolutely not.
243
00:09:10,551 --> 00:09:12,000
This is a pure goldmine.
244
00:09:12,103 --> 00:09:14,758
That's why we made sure every
kid on this plane has cancer.
245
00:09:14,862 --> 00:09:16,448
- They do?
- No, no, no,
246
00:09:16,551 --> 00:09:17,862
we ended up not doing that,
247
00:09:17,965 --> 00:09:19,827
because we didn't want them
coughing over "the music."
248
00:09:19,931 --> 00:09:22,344
- It just feels like cancer's
been done before, you know?
249
00:09:22,448 --> 00:09:25,241
Between you and me, I feel like
if we were gonna solve cancer,
250
00:09:25,344 --> 00:09:26,517
we really would have
by now.
251
00:09:26,620 --> 00:09:27,793
- Trust me, Brooke.
252
00:09:27,896 --> 00:09:30,344
By the end of this blitz,
Chase will own cancer.
253
00:09:30,448 --> 00:09:32,482
- Okay, it's--
254
00:09:32,586 --> 00:09:37,344
[sobbing] It's just really
hard for me...
255
00:09:37,448 --> 00:09:39,275
to hear cancer.
256
00:09:39,379 --> 00:09:41,206
- Oh, Brooke, I'm sorry.
257
00:09:41,310 --> 00:09:44,862
- Okay, if you're gonna cry,
let's get it on the live stream.
258
00:09:44,965 --> 00:09:49,896
- ♪
259
00:09:51,413 --> 00:09:53,000
♪ There's a lot of places
260
00:09:53,103 --> 00:09:55,310
- Can I talk to you
in the bathroom for a second?
261
00:09:55,413 --> 00:09:57,137
- Sure. Yeah.
262
00:09:57,241 --> 00:09:58,448
Is everything okay?
263
00:09:58,551 --> 00:10:00,793
- Oh, yeah, yeah. I just wanted
to do one of these.
264
00:10:00,896 --> 00:10:02,931
So, what are you guys
talking about in here?
265
00:10:03,034 --> 00:10:04,379
- [pig squealing]
266
00:10:04,482 --> 00:10:06,551
- You making fun of me?
- What? No.
267
00:10:06,655 --> 00:10:08,517
No, we're just dealing
with a family issue, so--
268
00:10:08,620 --> 00:10:09,931
- Oh, good.
269
00:10:10,034 --> 00:10:12,965
Then come on, lay it on me,
man, what's the issue?
270
00:10:13,068 --> 00:10:14,620
Alright, because I consider
you guys family.
271
00:10:14,724 --> 00:10:16,103
You and Brooke are like
grandparents to me.
272
00:10:16,206 --> 00:10:18,413
- That's very nice, but we're
gonna handle this internally.
273
00:10:18,517 --> 00:10:20,551
- Okay, you know what I think
might help?
274
00:10:20,655 --> 00:10:22,793
Helen. [chuckles]
- I don't wanna hold your pig.
275
00:10:22,896 --> 00:10:25,068
- Okay, well, can you? 'Cause
she's very heavy.
276
00:10:25,172 --> 00:10:27,241
- Okay, guys, thanks to everyone
who bought tickets
277
00:10:27,344 --> 00:10:30,551
to the raffle, all the proceeds
are going to--
278
00:10:30,655 --> 00:10:31,862
say it with me now--
279
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:35,000
- ALL:
The American Cancer Society!
280
00:10:35,103 --> 00:10:37,344
[cheering]
281
00:10:37,448 --> 00:10:39,827
- Now the first prize is sick.
282
00:10:39,931 --> 00:10:42,413
- It's hot.
Where's Cary?
283
00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:44,517
Oh! Oh my God.
284
00:10:44,620 --> 00:10:46,344
Oh, hi. [giggles]
285
00:10:46,448 --> 00:10:48,482
It's embarrassing.
286
00:10:48,586 --> 00:10:50,551
How are you?
- I'm great, Ma'am.
287
00:10:50,655 --> 00:10:52,275
Would you like a beverage?
- Huh-uh.
288
00:10:52,379 --> 00:10:54,206
Very funny.
289
00:10:54,310 --> 00:10:56,793
Uh, so no beverage then,
Ma'am?
290
00:10:56,896 --> 00:10:59,586
- Are you joking?
It's me. It's Brooke.
291
00:11:01,586 --> 00:11:03,413
- Have we met before?
292
00:11:03,517 --> 00:11:05,448
- Yeah, we used
to hang out.
293
00:11:05,551 --> 00:11:07,586
At the motel.
294
00:11:07,689 --> 00:11:09,310
By JFK.
295
00:11:09,413 --> 00:11:11,586
- I don't--
- I ate your butt.
296
00:11:11,689 --> 00:11:13,827
Oh my God,
sorry, sorry, sorry.
297
00:11:13,931 --> 00:11:15,241
- Okay, guys, this next item
298
00:11:15,344 --> 00:11:17,758
is a chance to be a part
of my next music video,
299
00:11:17,862 --> 00:11:19,413
'cause I'll think of you
as I film it.
300
00:11:19,517 --> 00:11:22,379
- ALL: [cheering]
301
00:11:22,482 --> 00:11:24,000
- Mom?
302
00:11:24,103 --> 00:11:24,896
- Whooo!
303
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:28,103
- Hi, Mom! You're having fun!
304
00:11:28,206 --> 00:11:30,275
Can I talk to you in
the bathroom for a second?
305
00:11:30,379 --> 00:11:31,655
- ♪
306
00:11:31,758 --> 00:11:33,241
- Mom, what are you
doing out there?
307
00:11:33,344 --> 00:11:35,655
I thought Cary talked to you.
- He did talk to me.
308
00:11:35,758 --> 00:11:37,344
We both decided we're not
gonna tell Chase the truth.
309
00:11:37,448 --> 00:11:39,793
- Uh, Mom. I know that you lied
to Chase to protect him,
310
00:11:39,896 --> 00:11:41,275
but you could really hurt him.
311
00:11:41,379 --> 00:11:44,241
- If you two want him to know so
bad, why don't you tell him?
312
00:11:44,344 --> 00:11:45,517
- Because I'm not his mom, Mom!
313
00:11:45,620 --> 00:11:46,896
Even though I basically
have been
314
00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:49,137
for the last six months.
- Is it hot in here?
315
00:11:49,241 --> 00:11:51,000
- Come on, don't change
the subject.
316
00:11:51,103 --> 00:11:53,172
- Okay, here's what
we're gonna do.
317
00:11:53,275 --> 00:11:54,689
We're not gonna tell Chase.
318
00:11:54,793 --> 00:11:57,241
And starting tomorrow, my name's
Roberta, you're Felicia,
319
00:11:57,344 --> 00:11:59,103
Cary's Dante, Chase is Miguel.
320
00:11:59,206 --> 00:12:01,379
We move to South America,
we start over.
321
00:12:01,482 --> 00:12:02,551
- What?
322
00:12:02,655 --> 00:12:05,413
No, that is--no, God.
323
00:12:05,517 --> 00:12:06,724
Also, Felicia?
324
00:12:06,827 --> 00:12:07,862
- ♪ My brother's gay
325
00:12:07,965 --> 00:12:10,551
- Yes, gay. Very fun.
326
00:12:10,655 --> 00:12:13,275
This song is about me, yeah.
327
00:12:13,379 --> 00:12:14,724
I love this. Hey, Shully.
328
00:12:14,827 --> 00:12:16,034
Have you seen Brooke?
329
00:12:16,137 --> 00:12:18,000
- I think she's in the bathroom
with your mom.
330
00:12:18,103 --> 00:12:18,862
- Thanks, cutie.
331
00:12:18,965 --> 00:12:20,241
- ♪
332
00:12:20,344 --> 00:12:22,551
- Chase is still going very hard
on the whole cancer thing.
333
00:12:22,655 --> 00:12:24,137
Have you not told him?
- No, she hasn't.
334
00:12:24,241 --> 00:12:26,137
- How 'bout this?
We crash the plane.
335
00:12:26,241 --> 00:12:28,206
- Mom?
- Not into a building, Cary.
336
00:12:28,310 --> 00:12:30,827
Into a field, so only we die.
- Mom, no.
337
00:12:30,931 --> 00:12:33,172
- Well, I don't see you two
pitching any ideas.
338
00:12:33,275 --> 00:12:35,068
Oh my God, why is it
so hot in here?
339
00:12:35,172 --> 00:12:36,724
- [bell dings]
- AMANDA: Hi, you guys.
340
00:12:36,827 --> 00:12:39,241
Not sure if you noticed,
but the AC has gone down,
341
00:12:39,344 --> 00:12:40,517
which sucks.
342
00:12:40,620 --> 00:12:42,724
- TIFF: We'll pass out some
extra water, but, yeah--
343
00:12:42,827 --> 00:12:43,862
- AMANDA AND TIFF:
Sorry, guys!
344
00:12:43,965 --> 00:12:45,172
- I'm just saying,
if John Slattery
345
00:12:45,275 --> 00:12:47,482
was our pilot--
- No, the AC has nothing
346
00:12:47,586 --> 00:12:49,482
to do them, that is
the grounds crew.
347
00:12:49,586 --> 00:12:50,724
And they are probably
all men.
348
00:12:50,827 --> 00:12:51,862
- Okay, I've decided.
349
00:12:51,965 --> 00:12:53,413
I'm not telling Chase.
None of us are.
350
00:12:53,517 --> 00:12:54,758
That's my final answer.
351
00:12:54,862 --> 00:12:57,103
Uh, why is this necklace
so heavy?
352
00:12:57,206 --> 00:12:59,379
Remind me, they need to be
smaller when we sell them.
353
00:12:59,482 --> 00:13:00,827
- ♪
354
00:13:00,931 --> 00:13:03,034
- Okay, guys, here's
the next question from
355
00:13:03,137 --> 00:13:07,344
the live stream, comes from a
window manufacturer named Tad.
356
00:13:07,448 --> 00:13:08,758
- Hey, listen.
357
00:13:08,862 --> 00:13:11,241
I tried to stay out of this,
but your family has a secret.
358
00:13:11,344 --> 00:13:13,000
And I know what it is.
359
00:13:13,103 --> 00:13:17,413
It's shameful,
and it's embarrassing.
360
00:13:17,517 --> 00:13:18,862
But it's time you guys
came clean.
361
00:13:21,827 --> 00:13:24,103
You all have diarrhea.
- What?
362
00:13:24,206 --> 00:13:26,448
- Yes, that's our secret.
- Yes, yes.
363
00:13:26,551 --> 00:13:28,000
- Yeah, diarrhea.
- Yes, I smelled it
364
00:13:28,103 --> 00:13:29,724
the second you stepped
on the plane.
365
00:13:29,827 --> 00:13:32,310
I've been smelling shit
this entire flight.
366
00:13:32,413 --> 00:13:34,620
- Yeah, it's nothing to do with
the pig you've been holding.
367
00:13:34,724 --> 00:13:35,793
- Hmm-hmm.
- No.
368
00:13:35,896 --> 00:13:37,344
- [pig squealing]
- [laughing]
369
00:13:37,448 --> 00:13:40,137
- Dream family, just wanna
get your take on this.
370
00:13:40,241 --> 00:13:41,965
A couple people
on the live stream
371
00:13:42,068 --> 00:13:44,827
are saying that Chase's dad
didn't die of cancer.
372
00:13:44,931 --> 00:13:46,379
- ♪
373
00:13:46,482 --> 00:13:47,827
- Um...
- Umm...
374
00:13:51,137 --> 00:13:53,344
- ♪
375
00:13:53,448 --> 00:13:54,931
- Mom, we need to tell
Chase now.
376
00:13:55,034 --> 00:13:57,034
Do you really want him to
find out from a live stream?
377
00:13:57,137 --> 00:13:59,137
- It was probably
those stupid nurses!
378
00:13:59,241 --> 00:14:00,931
Or Lisa's dumb, fat son!
379
00:14:01,034 --> 00:14:03,034
- Mom, we have tell to Shully
and Streeter, too.
380
00:14:03,137 --> 00:14:04,517
They need to do damage control.
381
00:14:04,620 --> 00:14:06,655
- Why is it so hot in here?
382
00:14:06,758 --> 00:14:07,862
- SHULLY:
What's going in there?
383
00:14:07,965 --> 00:14:09,206
- CARY, BROOKE, MOM:
Nothing!
384
00:14:09,310 --> 00:14:10,931
- STREETER: Give 'em a sec.
They have diarrhea.
385
00:14:11,034 --> 00:14:12,034
- SHULLY: They're all
going together?
386
00:14:12,137 --> 00:14:13,137
- STREETER: They're all
going together.
387
00:14:13,241 --> 00:14:14,896
- Do you want me to go
get Chase?
388
00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:16,517
- GIRL: I need to use
the bathroom!
389
00:14:16,620 --> 00:14:17,965
- CARY AND BROOKE:
Use the other one!
390
00:14:18,068 --> 00:14:20,137
- GIRL: It's full, too!
- Then kill yourself!
391
00:14:20,241 --> 00:14:22,034
- I can't breathe in.
I really--I can't breathe.
392
00:14:22,137 --> 00:14:23,758
I can't breathe!
I can't breathe!
393
00:14:23,862 --> 00:14:27,172
- ♪ Give you eyes
and creatures ♪
394
00:14:27,275 --> 00:14:31,275
♪ My friends think I'm crazy,
but I was thinking maybe ♪
395
00:14:31,379 --> 00:14:32,448
- No!
- Mom!
396
00:14:32,551 --> 00:14:33,793
- Alright, fine! Fine!
397
00:14:33,896 --> 00:14:36,172
Everyone wants to know the truth
about my husband. Great!
398
00:14:36,275 --> 00:14:37,379
Here it is.
399
00:14:37,482 --> 00:14:38,689
He didn't die of cancer.
400
00:14:38,793 --> 00:14:40,172
He was a fucking alcoholic,
401
00:14:40,275 --> 00:14:42,413
and he froze to death
on our roof.
402
00:14:42,517 --> 00:14:43,793
- Mom.
- I wouldn't let him
403
00:14:43,896 --> 00:14:45,931
drink in front of Chase, so he
climbed up to the roof,
404
00:14:46,034 --> 00:14:47,689
and he blacked out,
and he froze to death.
405
00:14:47,793 --> 00:14:49,137
And I found him
the next morning.
406
00:14:49,241 --> 00:14:51,448
It was one of the worst things
I've seen in my entire life.
407
00:14:51,551 --> 00:14:52,931
- Mom!
408
00:14:53,034 --> 00:14:54,931
- Since everyone is so desperate
to know all the details
409
00:14:55,034 --> 00:14:56,344
of our family's life,
how 'bout this?
410
00:14:56,448 --> 00:14:57,965
He peed himself, too.
411
00:14:58,068 --> 00:14:59,586
And since he blacked out
on his stomach,
412
00:14:59,689 --> 00:15:01,965
his dick froze to our roof.
413
00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:04,482
That's right, everybody!
That's right!
414
00:15:04,586 --> 00:15:08,896
My husband died with his dick
frozen to the roof!
415
00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:10,517
Lisa had to come over
with the blower dryer
416
00:15:10,620 --> 00:15:11,724
and help me thaw it off.
417
00:15:11,827 --> 00:15:12,965
We had to get
an extension cord.
418
00:15:13,068 --> 00:15:15,137
So there, it's all
out in the...
419
00:15:15,241 --> 00:15:16,448
♪ Open
420
00:15:16,551 --> 00:15:17,758
♪ Let's all have a laugh
421
00:15:17,862 --> 00:15:20,137
Let's all laugh
at my dead husband!
422
00:15:20,241 --> 00:15:22,241
- Mom, no one's laughing.
It's okay.
423
00:15:22,344 --> 00:15:24,034
- He was the only man
I ever loved.
424
00:15:24,137 --> 00:15:26,896
I did not want him to be
a fucking joke.
425
00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:29,724
- Mom, nobody thinks that
he's a joke. No one, okay.
426
00:15:29,827 --> 00:15:31,655
He was a good man.
He was a great man.
427
00:15:31,758 --> 00:15:33,275
- I mean, not great.
- Cary.
428
00:15:33,379 --> 00:15:35,413
- He was doing the best
that he could.
429
00:15:35,517 --> 00:15:38,758
He was born at a certain time
in a certain place,
430
00:15:38,862 --> 00:15:42,862
and the gay stuff was
very, very hard for him.
431
00:15:42,965 --> 00:15:46,758
But he was doing the best
that he could do.
432
00:15:46,862 --> 00:15:49,000
Do you understand?
- I know. I know.
433
00:15:49,103 --> 00:15:51,689
- And this is why I didn't
want Chase to know!
434
00:15:51,793 --> 00:15:54,103
You two have so many
shitty memories of him,
435
00:15:54,206 --> 00:15:56,448
and I just wanted Chase
to have something different.
436
00:15:56,551 --> 00:15:59,344
- I know, I--we didn't know
you were this sad.
437
00:15:59,448 --> 00:16:01,448
- Yeah, we just thought that
you were writing books
438
00:16:01,551 --> 00:16:03,827
and doing Molly and stuff.
439
00:16:03,931 --> 00:16:05,724
- Yeah, well, I know
what you think.
440
00:16:05,827 --> 00:16:07,862
"Oh there's Mom with her
dumb little book."
441
00:16:07,965 --> 00:16:10,000
I hear you laughing.
- Well, that's what they do.
442
00:16:10,103 --> 00:16:11,482
They laugh at people.
443
00:16:11,586 --> 00:16:13,344
They think we're all so dumb.
- [pig squealing]
444
00:16:13,448 --> 00:16:14,310
- Oh my God, shut up!
445
00:16:14,413 --> 00:16:16,241
You're not
a part of this family.
446
00:16:16,344 --> 00:16:17,896
- And there it is.
447
00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:19,724
She finally admits it.
448
00:16:19,827 --> 00:16:21,172
- I would have said that
months ago.
449
00:16:21,275 --> 00:16:23,172
- I just spent the last
30 years of my life
450
00:16:23,275 --> 00:16:24,310
taking care of an alcoholic.
451
00:16:24,413 --> 00:16:26,206
Am I not allowed to have
a little fun?
452
00:16:26,310 --> 00:16:27,241
- No, you are.
453
00:16:27,344 --> 00:16:28,862
- You two come home
for the holidays.
454
00:16:28,965 --> 00:16:30,275
You come home for the funeral.
455
00:16:30,379 --> 00:16:33,344
And you go back to New York City
to your big, fancy life.
456
00:16:33,448 --> 00:16:35,862
And you leave me there.
457
00:16:35,965 --> 00:16:39,551
You leave me there.
[sobs]
458
00:16:39,655 --> 00:16:42,034
- I'm sorry, Mom.
459
00:16:42,137 --> 00:16:43,482
We just want you to be happy.
460
00:16:43,586 --> 00:16:45,965
- Yeah, I mean, we like it
when you write your books
461
00:16:46,068 --> 00:16:48,034
and make your necklaces.
462
00:16:48,137 --> 00:16:49,724
- I hate this stupid necklace.
463
00:16:49,827 --> 00:16:52,137
It's so big and heavy.
464
00:16:52,241 --> 00:16:54,068
And why is there
no AC in here?
465
00:16:54,172 --> 00:16:56,586
- It's just these stupid
dumb bitch pilots.
466
00:16:56,689 --> 00:16:57,827
- [bell dings]
- AMANDA: Hey, guys!
467
00:16:57,931 --> 00:16:59,482
We're also watching
the feeds up here
468
00:16:59,586 --> 00:17:01,206
and really feel for you family.
469
00:17:01,310 --> 00:17:03,896
But I think you know the AC
is not on us.
470
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:05,827
And it's this kind of
girl-on-girl sexism
471
00:17:05,931 --> 00:17:07,827
that makes it harder
for women everywhere.
472
00:17:07,931 --> 00:17:09,068
- AMANDA AND TIFF:
Okay, byeeee!
473
00:17:15,586 --> 00:17:17,000
- I'm sorry, Chasey.
474
00:17:37,413 --> 00:17:39,758
- This might be a bad time,
but I remember now.
475
00:17:39,862 --> 00:17:41,620
You did eat my butt.
476
00:17:41,724 --> 00:17:43,689
- Oh no, thank you.
477
00:17:43,793 --> 00:17:45,482
It's actually the perfect time.
478
00:17:45,586 --> 00:17:46,931
- Aw.
479
00:17:51,827 --> 00:17:53,000
- Hey.
480
00:17:53,103 --> 00:17:56,793
I think now might be
a good time for Helen.
481
00:17:56,896 --> 00:17:58,724
- Yeah, fine.
482
00:17:58,827 --> 00:18:02,448
- [pig squealing]
483
00:18:05,758 --> 00:18:06,931
- [deep breath]
484
00:18:07,034 --> 00:18:09,862
- Hey, sorry we ruined
the live stream or...
485
00:18:09,965 --> 00:18:11,724
- Yeah, sorry I yelled
at you.
486
00:18:11,827 --> 00:18:13,137
- No, it's okay.
487
00:18:13,241 --> 00:18:16,241
You know, I know you guys
think of me as a big joke.
488
00:18:16,344 --> 00:18:17,724
I see it.
489
00:18:17,827 --> 00:18:20,689
But to be honest, I know exactly
where you guys are at right now.
490
00:18:20,793 --> 00:18:21,862
I really do.
491
00:18:21,965 --> 00:18:25,275
My dad, uh, froze on a bench.
492
00:18:27,758 --> 00:18:28,965
- What's that?
493
00:18:29,068 --> 00:18:32,034
- Yeah, I don't
like to talk about it but, um,
494
00:18:32,137 --> 00:18:33,724
my dad was an alcoholic, too.
495
00:18:33,827 --> 00:18:38,758
And, uh, when I was 18,
he went for a drink in the park,
496
00:18:38,862 --> 00:18:41,586
and he fell asleep.
497
00:18:41,689 --> 00:18:44,241
And he froze on a bench.
498
00:18:44,344 --> 00:18:45,965
[sobbing]
499
00:18:46,068 --> 00:18:50,000
- Oh my God. I mean,
we had no idea.
500
00:18:50,103 --> 00:18:52,103
- My dad froze, too.
501
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:55,724
It was before I was born.
502
00:18:55,827 --> 00:18:57,275
He drank all the time.
503
00:18:57,379 --> 00:19:01,034
And one night, he went
ice fishing.
504
00:19:02,758 --> 00:19:04,689
And he froze.
505
00:19:04,793 --> 00:19:07,068
He was so cold.
506
00:19:07,172 --> 00:19:09,344
But anyway--
[sobbing]
507
00:19:09,448 --> 00:19:11,793
- Hey, hey, hey. You guys aren't
gonna believe this.
508
00:19:11,896 --> 00:19:14,034
People on the live stream are
all sharing stories about
509
00:19:14,137 --> 00:19:15,827
their dads freezing. Yeah.
510
00:19:15,931 --> 00:19:17,172
Hundreds of people.
511
00:19:17,275 --> 00:19:20,172
The hashtag #mydadfroze
is trending across America.
512
00:19:20,275 --> 00:19:21,793
Well, mostly in the Midwest,
513
00:19:21,896 --> 00:19:24,103
and specifically
Brandon, Minnesota.
514
00:19:24,206 --> 00:19:25,758
- My God, that's so sad.
515
00:19:25,862 --> 00:19:27,275
- No, this is great.
516
00:19:27,379 --> 00:19:29,034
Everyone talks about cancer.
517
00:19:29,137 --> 00:19:31,310
But no one talks about
alcohol abuse
518
00:19:31,413 --> 00:19:33,275
or dicks freezing to roofs.
519
00:19:33,379 --> 00:19:38,137
But your family has brought
both issues to light.
520
00:19:38,241 --> 00:19:40,862
- Oh, I guess--I guess
that's good
521
00:19:40,965 --> 00:19:43,103
in, like, a weird, sick way.
522
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:53,172
- Okay, so Chase and I
had a nice talk.
523
00:19:53,275 --> 00:19:56,241
And we decided that he's
gonna take a month off.
524
00:19:56,344 --> 00:19:59,758
No album press,
no tours, nothing.
525
00:19:59,862 --> 00:20:01,172
And I don't care what
anybody says,
526
00:20:01,275 --> 00:20:03,344
I'm his mother,
and I'm putting my foot down.
527
00:20:03,448 --> 00:20:04,517
- Okay.
- Great.
528
00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:05,793
- Yeah, I mean, definitely.
529
00:20:05,896 --> 00:20:06,965
- Oh my God.
Okay.
530
00:20:07,068 --> 00:20:09,206
I just got the craziest email.
531
00:20:09,310 --> 00:20:11,586
They want Chase to perform
at the VMAs.
532
00:20:11,689 --> 00:20:13,965
- GIRLS: [cheering]
533
00:20:14,068 --> 00:20:15,586
- Wait, like the actual VMAs?
534
00:20:15,689 --> 00:20:17,724
- Whoa, that's huge.
- I know.
535
00:20:17,827 --> 00:20:18,965
This is gonna change
everything.
536
00:20:19,068 --> 00:20:20,620
- Well, when are they?
537
00:20:20,724 --> 00:20:22,862
- Two weeks.
538
00:20:22,965 --> 00:20:24,344
- Uh, okay, instead of a month,
539
00:20:24,448 --> 00:20:26,655
Chase will take two weeks off,
but no less.
540
00:20:26,758 --> 00:20:27,896
- I totally you hear you,
541
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:29,241
but he needs to start
rehearsals Thursday.
542
00:20:29,344 --> 00:20:30,689
- Okay, he'll take
five days off.
543
00:20:30,793 --> 00:20:31,965
- And he has a fitting tomorrow.
544
00:20:32,068 --> 00:20:33,275
- He'll go to bed
early tonight.
545
00:20:33,379 --> 00:20:34,965
But I mean it, no screens.
I'm serious.
546
00:20:35,068 --> 00:20:36,827
Straight to bed.
- Are you excited?
547
00:20:36,931 --> 00:20:38,620
- Yeah.
- I know, me, too.
548
00:20:38,724 --> 00:20:42,344
Wait, what are the VMAs exactly?
549
00:20:43,896 --> 00:20:45,586
- Hey, Brooke told me
about your dad.
550
00:20:45,689 --> 00:20:47,137
I'm so sorry, Streeter.
551
00:20:47,241 --> 00:20:48,344
- Oh, that was a lie.
552
00:20:48,448 --> 00:20:50,379
- What?
- Yeah, my dad's alive.
553
00:20:50,482 --> 00:20:52,793
I just said he froze
to help you guys out.
554
00:20:52,896 --> 00:20:54,827
You know, turn a meltdown
into a movement.
555
00:20:54,931 --> 00:20:56,206
- Wow.
556
00:20:56,310 --> 00:20:58,241
Well, thank you.
- Uh.
557
00:20:58,344 --> 00:21:00,413
- You are one smart man,
Streeter.
558
00:21:00,517 --> 00:21:02,103
- You know what? I am
really smart.
559
00:21:02,206 --> 00:21:04,482
Also, I got you this Imodium
for your diarrhea.
560
00:21:04,586 --> 00:21:06,206
- Oh, thank you.
561
00:21:06,310 --> 00:21:07,448
- STREETER: Yep, I am a--
562
00:21:07,551 --> 00:21:10,034
- [pig squeals]
- STREETER: --oh, Helen, no!
563
00:21:10,137 --> 00:21:11,862
- MOM: So let me know
what you think, marketplace.
564
00:21:11,965 --> 00:21:13,275
Also gonna come in a turquoise.
565
00:21:13,379 --> 00:21:15,241
And we got it
in a chocolate brown.
566
00:21:15,344 --> 00:21:18,103
Also, we're thinking about
expanding into fanny packs, but
567
00:21:18,206 --> 00:21:20,827
we'd call them Fanny Pass. Isn't
that cute, marketplace?
568
00:21:20,931 --> 00:21:23,655
- CARY: Hey, Mom. Can I talk to
you for a bathroom for a sec?
41808
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