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1
00:00:06,793 --> 00:00:08,172
[phone chimes]
- Hey, cuties!
2
00:00:08,275 --> 00:00:09,413
I'm about to hit the red carpet
with my manager Streeter.
3
00:00:09,517 --> 00:00:10,931
Say what's up, Streeter.
- What's up!
4
00:00:11,034 --> 00:00:12,275
- Shout out to
the Lord Jesus Christ
5
00:00:12,379 --> 00:00:13,793
and Sony Pictures.
- And Sony Pictures.
6
00:00:13,896 --> 00:00:15,965
- For letting me and my fam come
to the "When in Gnome" premiere.
7
00:00:16,068 --> 00:00:17,827
Swipe up for tics.
8
00:00:17,931 --> 00:00:19,413
- Why are we even going to this?
9
00:00:19,517 --> 00:00:21,655
- Um, because it's
a hot, cool movie premiere.
10
00:00:21,758 --> 00:00:22,862
Why would we not go?
11
00:00:22,965 --> 00:00:24,275
- I just thought
my first premiere
12
00:00:24,379 --> 00:00:25,931
would be for a movie
that I was actually in.
13
00:00:26,034 --> 00:00:27,793
- I'm gonna get
one of those red carpet pics
14
00:00:27,896 --> 00:00:30,620
with a Getty Image watermark,
send it to all my Ohio friends.
15
00:00:30,724 --> 00:00:33,344
- You still talk to them?
- Starting tonight, hopefully.
16
00:00:33,448 --> 00:00:35,000
- Damn it.
17
00:00:35,103 --> 00:00:36,827
I don't think
I got this fart commercial.
18
00:00:36,931 --> 00:00:38,965
My agent said
they were deciding today.
19
00:00:39,068 --> 00:00:42,827
- You two are very sexy people.
20
00:00:42,931 --> 00:00:44,379
[together]
Thank you?
21
00:00:44,482 --> 00:00:47,379
- 200 bucks,
you let me lick your foot.
22
00:00:47,482 --> 00:00:49,034
- Oh, my God.
23
00:00:49,137 --> 00:00:50,379
Absolutely.
24
00:00:50,482 --> 00:00:51,689
- Ew, Brooke, no.
25
00:00:51,793 --> 00:00:53,862
- What?
It's 200 bucks.
26
00:00:53,965 --> 00:00:55,206
It's not like
I have to lick a foot.
27
00:00:55,310 --> 00:00:58,275
- I meant the boy.
28
00:00:59,586 --> 00:01:01,586
- Hm?
29
00:01:01,689 --> 00:01:03,241
- [sighs]
It is $200.
30
00:01:03,344 --> 00:01:05,310
[upbeat electronic music]
31
00:01:05,413 --> 00:01:06,793
- Hey, everyone, look over here.
32
00:01:06,896 --> 00:01:07,965
You're not gonna
want to miss this.
33
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:10,448
ChaseDreams,
3.2 million followers
34
00:01:10,551 --> 00:01:12,655
across all social media
platforms.
35
00:01:12,758 --> 00:01:15,379
He sees you.
Please, see him.
36
00:01:15,482 --> 00:01:19,482
[indistinct shouting]
[camera shutters clicking]
37
00:01:19,586 --> 00:01:22,413
Let's squeeze in a little
math homework real quick.
38
00:01:22,517 --> 00:01:24,689
[keys clacking]
There it is, yeah, yeah...
39
00:01:24,793 --> 00:01:25,827
[phone chimes]
A-plus.
40
00:01:25,931 --> 00:01:27,068
[chuckles]
- Yeah.
41
00:01:31,620 --> 00:01:32,862
- Hi.
42
00:01:32,965 --> 00:01:34,724
- Oh, congratulations
on your wedding.
43
00:01:34,827 --> 00:01:36,379
- Oh, no, uh,
44
00:01:36,482 --> 00:01:38,034
we're here for the premiere.
45
00:01:38,137 --> 00:01:39,724
Um, our tickets say
"general admission,"
46
00:01:39,827 --> 00:01:44,206
but I know that... Sharon wanted
us to walk the red carpet.
47
00:01:44,310 --> 00:01:45,448
- You mean Shauna?
48
00:01:45,551 --> 00:01:47,310
- [softly]
Damn, that was so close.
49
00:01:47,413 --> 00:01:49,620
- Nice try, but we can't let
just anyone on the red carpet.
50
00:01:49,724 --> 00:01:53,275
- Oh, [soft groan] we're not--
we're not "just anyone."
51
00:01:53,379 --> 00:01:54,724
[soft laugh]
We're the Dreamses.
52
00:01:54,827 --> 00:01:56,724
We are Brooke and Cary Dreams.
53
00:01:56,827 --> 00:01:58,620
- No, I--I'm Cary Dubek.
54
00:01:58,724 --> 00:02:00,724
I'm an actor on my own.
55
00:02:00,827 --> 00:02:03,103
I got into NYU, actually.
56
00:02:03,206 --> 00:02:05,310
I couldn't go, but I got in.
57
00:02:05,413 --> 00:02:08,103
- I'm not sure
that's worth saying out loud.
58
00:02:08,206 --> 00:02:09,931
- Chase Dreams!
Ashley from "Pop Goss."
59
00:02:10,034 --> 00:02:11,172
How are you?
- I'm good, Ashley.
60
00:02:11,275 --> 00:02:12,965
How are you?
- I'm great.
61
00:02:13,068 --> 00:02:14,655
Now, tell our readers,
boxers or briefs?
62
00:02:14,758 --> 00:02:16,241
- I don't know,
whatever my mom buys.
63
00:02:16,344 --> 00:02:18,000
- [soft chuckle] Aw, cute.
Red or yellow?
64
00:02:18,103 --> 00:02:19,482
- Red,
but yellow's tight too.
65
00:02:19,586 --> 00:02:21,517
- Awesome.
Israel or Palestine?
66
00:02:21,620 --> 00:02:23,586
- Um, I think
they're both dope
67
00:02:23,689 --> 00:02:25,344
and should just keep
being true to themselves.
68
00:02:25,448 --> 00:02:26,551
- Yes, absolutely.
- Oh...
69
00:02:26,655 --> 00:02:28,310
- The situation's
very complicated.
70
00:02:28,413 --> 00:02:29,896
[distant traffic whooshes]
71
00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:31,655
- Damn it.
72
00:02:31,758 --> 00:02:33,413
- Let's just go
in the main entrance--
73
00:02:33,517 --> 00:02:36,103
- Cary, we must live every day
74
00:02:36,206 --> 00:02:38,896
like it's the last day
that Chase is famous.
75
00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:40,965
Ooh, I have an idea.
76
00:02:41,068 --> 00:02:43,413
Follow me. Act confident.
Grab something.
77
00:02:43,517 --> 00:02:44,758
- What?
78
00:02:44,862 --> 00:02:47,275
[camera shutters clicking]
79
00:02:47,379 --> 00:02:48,689
- Hurry, hurry,
hurry-hurry-hurry, hurry.
80
00:02:48,793 --> 00:02:52,068
[British accent]
Ugh, another red carpet!
81
00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:55,068
- And--and I brought napkins.
82
00:02:55,172 --> 00:02:56,965
- Chase, what's your
favorite thing to snack on
83
00:02:57,068 --> 00:02:58,413
when you're
jamming out to music?
84
00:02:58,517 --> 00:03:00,482
- Um, I don't know.
Everything's good.
85
00:03:00,586 --> 00:03:03,551
- Okay, well, we're streaming
live on Bagel Bites TV.
86
00:03:03,655 --> 00:03:05,448
So can you say Bagel Bites?
87
00:03:05,551 --> 00:03:07,137
- Oh, yeah.
Bagel Bites!
88
00:03:07,241 --> 00:03:09,103
- Okay, great, but
can you say it in a sentence
89
00:03:09,206 --> 00:03:11,413
like, "I'm Chase Dreams and
when I'm jamming out to music
90
00:03:11,517 --> 00:03:13,448
I love to eat Bagel Bites!"
91
00:03:13,551 --> 00:03:15,655
- I'm Chase Dreams and
when I'm jamming out to music
92
00:03:15,758 --> 00:03:17,379
I love to eat Bagel Bites.
- ...eat Bagel Bites.
93
00:03:17,482 --> 00:03:19,241
- Okay, great. Congrats on
whatever it is you do.
94
00:03:19,344 --> 00:03:21,275
- Thanks.
- Haley!
95
00:03:22,275 --> 00:03:23,862
- Why is everyone wearing jeans?
96
00:03:23,965 --> 00:03:25,241
I thought they were rich.
97
00:03:25,344 --> 00:03:26,482
- Oh, yeah,
I think if you're rich,
98
00:03:26,586 --> 00:03:28,241
you can just
wear jeans to things.
99
00:03:28,344 --> 00:03:30,344
- [sighs] I want to be rich
and wear jeans to things.
100
00:03:30,448 --> 00:03:33,655
- Next.
- Pick someone you look like.
101
00:03:33,758 --> 00:03:37,000
Hi. I'm Tinsley Mortimer
from "The Real Housewives."
102
00:03:37,103 --> 00:03:41,517
- And I'm...
Ellen DeGeneres.
103
00:03:41,620 --> 00:03:42,965
- Nice try.
104
00:03:43,068 --> 00:03:44,379
Please walk back by the bushes
105
00:03:44,482 --> 00:03:46,517
where absolutely no one
will photograph you.
106
00:03:46,620 --> 00:03:48,275
Ellen.
107
00:03:48,379 --> 00:03:50,586
Right this way.
108
00:03:50,689 --> 00:03:52,275
- I'm just gonna
stick with Tinsley.
109
00:03:52,379 --> 00:03:53,689
Thank you though.
110
00:03:53,793 --> 00:03:56,482
- This is bullshit.
111
00:03:56,586 --> 00:03:58,655
I can't believe
Tinsley Mortimer didn't work.
112
00:03:58,758 --> 00:04:00,310
I mean, is it really
that hard to believe
113
00:04:00,413 --> 00:04:01,620
that she would be here?
114
00:04:01,724 --> 00:04:03,620
That is rude to Tinsley.
- [sighs]
115
00:04:03,724 --> 00:04:05,137
Why isn't my agent calling me?
116
00:04:05,241 --> 00:04:07,000
- What's his name again?
Shrimp Scampi?
117
00:04:07,103 --> 00:04:08,655
- "Skip Shamplin."
118
00:04:08,758 --> 00:04:10,724
- Didn't he almost boil to death
or something?
119
00:04:10,827 --> 00:04:12,620
- Yeah, he fell asleep
in a hotel hot tub.
120
00:04:12,724 --> 00:04:14,517
- [snickers]
- [soft laugh]
121
00:04:14,620 --> 00:04:17,379
- See, we're laughing.
We're having fun.
122
00:04:17,482 --> 00:04:19,206
Tonight's gonna be great
'cause we're hot,
123
00:04:19,310 --> 00:04:21,275
we're cool,
and we're killing it.
124
00:04:21,379 --> 00:04:23,034
Oh, hey, remind me,
need to find a guy
125
00:04:23,137 --> 00:04:24,655
to go home with tonight
'cause I don't have a house.
126
00:04:24,758 --> 00:04:26,413
- I thought you were
crashing at work?
127
00:04:26,517 --> 00:04:28,068
- I got fired
because one of the bitch agents
128
00:04:28,172 --> 00:04:29,655
found my underwear in the oven.
129
00:04:29,758 --> 00:04:30,827
Chase!
Hi!
130
00:04:30,931 --> 00:04:32,310
- Hey.
- Hey.
131
00:04:32,413 --> 00:04:34,379
- Oh, my God,
how's your first red carpet?
132
00:04:34,482 --> 00:04:35,620
- Oh, I can't believe
they flew you
133
00:04:35,724 --> 00:04:37,172
all the way
out here for this.
134
00:04:37,275 --> 00:04:38,586
- It was fun.
Streeter's hair melted.
135
00:04:38,689 --> 00:04:40,586
both: What?
- Hey-hey-hey-hey-hey.
136
00:04:40,689 --> 00:04:42,517
Hi. Streeter.
Nice to meet you.
137
00:04:42,620 --> 00:04:44,482
I'm, uh, Chase Dreams' manager.
138
00:04:44,586 --> 00:04:46,827
- Yeah, no, we met last week.
We had a full meal together.
139
00:04:46,931 --> 00:04:49,344
- Oh, uh, gay brother.
And, uh, girl sister.
140
00:04:49,448 --> 00:04:50,931
Right--oh, you guys
aren't getting married, are you?
141
00:04:51,034 --> 00:04:53,172
Because that would be bad optics
for this guy right here.
142
00:04:53,275 --> 00:04:55,551
Although love is love
is love is love,
143
00:04:55,655 --> 00:04:58,620
as, uh, Linda Manuel once said.
144
00:04:58,724 --> 00:05:00,620
- It's uh,
"Lin-Manuel Miranda."
145
00:05:00,724 --> 00:05:02,862
- Lin-Manu--
who's Linda Manuel then?
146
00:05:02,965 --> 00:05:05,482
And why do I represent her?
- Okay, buddy, let's get a pic.
147
00:05:05,586 --> 00:05:07,000
- Yeah.
- Mom wanted to see our outfits.
148
00:05:07,103 --> 00:05:08,206
- Let's do it.
- Yes, oh, let's get a picture!
149
00:05:08,310 --> 00:05:09,310
Okay, here you go, Casey.
150
00:05:09,413 --> 00:05:10,310
- It's "Cary."
- Huh?
151
00:05:10,413 --> 00:05:11,896
Take a shot. Here we go.
152
00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:14,172
Everybody say,
"Streeter's less of a manager,
153
00:05:14,275 --> 00:05:15,620
more of a friend."
154
00:05:15,724 --> 00:05:17,379
- Please make your way
into the theater!
155
00:05:17,482 --> 00:05:19,379
"When in Rome"
is about to begin.
156
00:05:19,482 --> 00:05:20,793
I mean, uh--uh--ooh!
157
00:05:20,896 --> 00:05:22,793
Kevin, you had one job.
[soft chuckle]
158
00:05:22,896 --> 00:05:26,379
"When in Gnome" is--
is about to begin.
159
00:05:26,482 --> 00:05:28,137
- Okay, here we go.
160
00:05:28,241 --> 00:05:29,068
[playful accordion music
on film]
161
00:05:29,172 --> 00:05:30,379
- Ride a Vespa?
162
00:05:30,482 --> 00:05:32,896
I guess, when in a-gnome!
163
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,689
[moped revving on film]
164
00:05:34,793 --> 00:05:36,724
[cartoon sound effects on film]
165
00:05:36,827 --> 00:05:39,241
[Joyeur's "Fast As You Can"]
166
00:05:39,344 --> 00:05:41,000
♪
167
00:05:41,103 --> 00:05:42,965
- ♪ Fast as you can
run fast as you can ♪
168
00:05:43,068 --> 00:05:45,379
♪ Fast as you can
run fast as you can ♪
169
00:05:45,482 --> 00:05:47,896
♪ Fast as you can
run fast as you can ♪
170
00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:50,172
♪ Fast as you can
run fast as you can! ♪
171
00:05:50,275 --> 00:05:51,896
♪ I know that
you don't want me ♪
172
00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:54,551
♪ I'm gonna make you want me
come-- ♪
173
00:05:54,655 --> 00:05:56,310
[cartoon sound effects on film]
174
00:05:56,413 --> 00:05:57,758
- You want me to eat-a
this entire pizza?
175
00:05:57,862 --> 00:06:01,275
[cell phone buzzing]
I guess when in a-gnome!
176
00:06:01,379 --> 00:06:03,448
[cartoon sound effects on film]
177
00:06:04,413 --> 00:06:05,793
- Hey, Skip.
- Cary!
178
00:06:05,896 --> 00:06:08,310
Great news.
It's down to you
179
00:06:08,413 --> 00:06:10,103
and one other guy
for the commerc'.
180
00:06:10,206 --> 00:06:12,068
- [soft laugh]
Great!
181
00:06:12,172 --> 00:06:13,896
- The thing is, they want
to make a decision by tonight.
182
00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:16,551
So they'd like you to do
one more read, okay?
183
00:06:16,655 --> 00:06:18,620
They were hoping you could
be a little less, uh,
184
00:06:18,724 --> 00:06:20,413
a little less colorful.
185
00:06:20,517 --> 00:06:22,931
- Yeah, uh, yeah,
what do you mean by colorful?
186
00:06:23,034 --> 00:06:25,758
- Uh, just, uh, a teensy less
in your face.
187
00:06:25,862 --> 00:06:27,689
- Okay.
I mean, the line's just
188
00:06:27,793 --> 00:06:29,965
"Ha ha great party,"
and then I smell a fart.
189
00:06:30,068 --> 00:06:31,448
I--
- Listen, kid.
190
00:06:31,551 --> 00:06:33,793
You know how like,
in real life, you're gay?
191
00:06:33,896 --> 00:06:36,758
- Yes.
- Well, the ad guys love that.
192
00:06:36,862 --> 00:06:38,758
In fact, one of the guys
wanted me to tell you
193
00:06:38,862 --> 00:06:40,724
that his brother is also gay.
194
00:06:40,827 --> 00:06:43,000
- Cool.
- But the thing is
195
00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:45,379
they think that
the character is straight.
196
00:06:45,482 --> 00:06:47,103
You know, because if you're gay
197
00:06:47,206 --> 00:06:49,413
and you're at a party
and you smell a fart...
198
00:06:49,517 --> 00:06:51,482
- Whoo!
199
00:06:51,586 --> 00:06:53,103
- I mean, that's a lot
for an audience to digest
200
00:06:53,206 --> 00:06:54,758
in 30 seconds, you know?
201
00:06:54,862 --> 00:06:56,689
Their head's going,
whoa-whoa-whoa, what's going on?
202
00:06:56,793 --> 00:07:01,310
So they were hoping that
you could read it straighter.
203
00:07:01,413 --> 00:07:04,172
- Um, sure, yeah.
204
00:07:04,275 --> 00:07:06,793
Yeah, yeah, I just--
I really want to get this.
205
00:07:06,896 --> 00:07:10,655
Um, I know I haven't, um,
booked a lot in a while.
206
00:07:10,758 --> 00:07:13,586
I--I don't even know how
you're making money off of me.
207
00:07:13,689 --> 00:07:15,482
I just...
- Cary! [chuckles]
208
00:07:15,586 --> 00:07:17,896
Don't worry about me.
I'm an agent.
209
00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:20,689
I'm doing fine with money.
[phone beeps]
210
00:07:20,793 --> 00:07:22,862
- Hi.
85th and Columbus.
211
00:07:22,965 --> 00:07:24,724
- You got it.
[engine turns over]
212
00:07:27,068 --> 00:07:29,724
[hip-hop music]
213
00:07:29,827 --> 00:07:32,517
♪
214
00:07:32,620 --> 00:07:35,103
- That movie was so long.
215
00:07:35,206 --> 00:07:37,000
- It was 62 minutes.
216
00:07:37,103 --> 00:07:39,344
- Exactly. Nothing should be
longer than a "Gilmore Girls."
217
00:07:39,448 --> 00:07:40,793
- Mm.
- Hi. Thank you.
218
00:07:40,896 --> 00:07:42,862
Can you put these
under Billy Eichner?
219
00:07:42,965 --> 00:07:43,965
- Wait, he's here?
220
00:07:44,068 --> 00:07:45,862
- Oh.
I'm just assuming.
221
00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:48,517
- Anyways, the movie
probably felt so long
222
00:07:48,620 --> 00:07:50,206
because it was so problematic.
223
00:07:50,310 --> 00:07:52,172
- Totally.
[stammers]
224
00:07:52,275 --> 00:07:53,965
But, like, how would
you say it was?
225
00:07:54,068 --> 00:07:56,931
- Well, I mean, it was
so racist to Italians.
226
00:07:57,034 --> 00:07:58,206
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
227
00:07:58,310 --> 00:08:00,068
- Yes.
I love that we both hate racism.
228
00:08:00,172 --> 00:08:02,413
- Yeah.
- So...
229
00:08:02,517 --> 00:08:03,931
Tell me more about yourself.
230
00:08:04,034 --> 00:08:06,586
Like, where do you live?
What kind of bed's in there?
231
00:08:06,689 --> 00:08:09,206
- Well, I have a king-sized bed.
- Okay.
232
00:08:09,310 --> 00:08:10,206
- And I live in Midtown East.
233
00:08:10,310 --> 00:08:11,586
- Oh, no.
234
00:08:11,689 --> 00:08:13,482
I'm not going there.
- What-what?
235
00:08:13,586 --> 00:08:16,379
[muffled dance music thumping]
236
00:08:16,482 --> 00:08:19,724
♪
237
00:08:19,827 --> 00:08:20,862
- [sniffs]
238
00:08:20,965 --> 00:08:22,137
[phone chimes]
239
00:08:22,241 --> 00:08:24,931
Ha ha, great party.
240
00:08:25,034 --> 00:08:25,965
[door opens]
241
00:08:26,068 --> 00:08:29,137
Huh-huh, great party.
242
00:08:31,448 --> 00:08:35,275
[deep voice]
Huh-huh, great party, dude.
243
00:08:35,379 --> 00:08:37,137
- It is a great party.
244
00:08:37,241 --> 00:08:38,379
Glad you're having fun, man.
245
00:08:38,482 --> 00:08:41,517
- Oh, uh, no, no.
246
00:08:41,620 --> 00:08:44,172
I'm, uh, I'm auditioning
for a commercial.
247
00:08:44,275 --> 00:08:46,517
I'm an actor, uh...
248
00:08:46,620 --> 00:08:47,793
I actually went to
the same theater school
249
00:08:47,896 --> 00:08:49,344
as Patrick Wilson's cousin.
250
00:08:49,448 --> 00:08:51,482
[urinal flushes]
251
00:08:51,586 --> 00:08:55,620
But I'm in New York now,
mostly doing theater.
252
00:08:55,724 --> 00:08:58,275
Or I--I want to
start doing more theater.
253
00:08:58,379 --> 00:08:59,862
Um...
254
00:08:59,965 --> 00:09:00,965
[women laughing]
255
00:09:01,068 --> 00:09:02,379
[shoes squeaking]
256
00:09:02,482 --> 00:09:04,862
- Oh, my God,
it's honestly so tragic.
257
00:09:04,965 --> 00:09:07,137
- I know.
And in this climate?
258
00:09:07,241 --> 00:09:08,275
all: Exactly!
259
00:09:08,379 --> 00:09:09,931
- Hi, I'm Brooke.
260
00:09:10,034 --> 00:09:11,862
I was gonna wear jeans to this
'cause I'm rich,
261
00:09:11,965 --> 00:09:13,689
but I just thought
that was too obvious.
262
00:09:13,793 --> 00:09:15,344
So that's why
I'm in this huge gown.
263
00:09:15,448 --> 00:09:17,241
- Cool.
- Totally.
264
00:09:17,344 --> 00:09:20,172
- Our friend Zita was just
talking about not having a job.
265
00:09:20,275 --> 00:09:21,689
- Wait, what?
266
00:09:21,793 --> 00:09:23,206
Oh, my God, that makes me
feel so much better.
267
00:09:23,310 --> 00:09:24,482
I don't have a job either.
268
00:09:24,586 --> 00:09:25,620
- Yeah, I'm kind of spinning out
269
00:09:25,724 --> 00:09:27,206
about what I'm gonna do next.
270
00:09:27,310 --> 00:09:28,827
- [exhales]
- Zita, relax.
271
00:09:28,931 --> 00:09:31,206
You don't have to do anything.
- Mm-mm, mm-mm.
272
00:09:31,310 --> 00:09:33,586
- Yeah, girl, this is
the beauty of retirement.
273
00:09:33,689 --> 00:09:36,310
- [very soft laugh]
274
00:09:36,413 --> 00:09:37,586
- You're retired?
275
00:09:37,689 --> 00:09:38,862
- Yeah.
- Of course.
276
00:09:38,965 --> 00:09:40,724
We all are.
- [soft laugh]
277
00:09:40,827 --> 00:09:41,862
- You know how it goes.
278
00:09:41,965 --> 00:09:43,103
Your teens are for working.
279
00:09:43,206 --> 00:09:44,379
Your 20s are for resting.
280
00:09:44,482 --> 00:09:45,793
- Well, what are your 30s for?
281
00:09:45,896 --> 00:09:47,620
all:
Making a global impact.
282
00:09:47,724 --> 00:09:50,206
- [soft laugh]
Oh, shit.
283
00:09:50,310 --> 00:09:51,655
- Brooke.
Thank God.
284
00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:54,275
- Here.
- Oh, this party is not fun.
285
00:09:54,379 --> 00:09:56,724
- Yes, it is.
I'm having fun.
286
00:09:56,827 --> 00:09:58,620
- You are?
- Mm-hmm.
287
00:09:58,724 --> 00:10:01,655
Well, not like fun fun,
but, you know, party fun.
288
00:10:01,758 --> 00:10:03,034
[soft laugh]
- What is--what?
289
00:10:03,137 --> 00:10:04,965
- Party fun,
when everybody at a party
290
00:10:05,068 --> 00:10:07,275
just agrees to
perform fun at each other
291
00:10:07,379 --> 00:10:11,206
and it's the collective effort
that makes it fun!
292
00:10:11,310 --> 00:10:13,862
You know, like, uh,
like this little model girl.
293
00:10:13,965 --> 00:10:15,482
She's not having fun fun.
294
00:10:15,586 --> 00:10:17,655
- [soft laugh]
Yes, I am.
295
00:10:17,758 --> 00:10:20,000
- Okay--yeah, but you know,
296
00:10:20,103 --> 00:10:21,620
when you're alone with
your thoughts in bed tonight,
297
00:10:21,724 --> 00:10:23,586
you're not gonna look back
at this party and think,
298
00:10:23,689 --> 00:10:25,241
"That was fun fun."
299
00:10:25,344 --> 00:10:26,551
- [soft laugh]
Yes, I will.
300
00:10:26,655 --> 00:10:28,275
I'm having the time of my life.
301
00:10:28,379 --> 00:10:32,896
And I'll think back often to
just how much fun this all was.
302
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:35,103
- Okay, well, she's a model.
She doesn't know her own brain.
303
00:10:35,206 --> 00:10:37,379
- I'm not a model.
I'm an EP on the film.
304
00:10:37,482 --> 00:10:38,758
- Jesus.
305
00:10:38,862 --> 00:10:41,517
- Okay, well,
your movie's racist.
306
00:10:41,620 --> 00:10:43,068
[hip-hop music playing]
307
00:10:43,172 --> 00:10:46,862
- Yeah, so now
I'm focusing on theater mostly.
308
00:10:46,965 --> 00:10:48,724
- Cool, um...
- I think.
309
00:10:48,827 --> 00:10:51,448
- Do you know where
all the celebrities are?
310
00:10:51,551 --> 00:10:54,000
I thought Tinsley Mortimer
was here.
311
00:10:54,103 --> 00:10:56,689
- Oh, uh, I think
she got turned away at the door.
312
00:10:56,793 --> 00:10:58,965
- Oh, I could have sworn
I saw her.
313
00:10:59,068 --> 00:11:01,137
I haven't seen
ChaseDreams yet either.
314
00:11:01,241 --> 00:11:03,241
I wanted a picture.
315
00:11:03,344 --> 00:11:05,137
- You did?
- Mm-hmm.
316
00:11:05,241 --> 00:11:08,482
- Yeah, I mean, I haven't--
I haven't seen him in a while.
317
00:11:08,586 --> 00:11:10,724
But if I do,
I'll send him your way.
318
00:11:10,827 --> 00:11:13,620
What was your name?
- Brittlyn.
319
00:11:13,724 --> 00:11:15,275
And thank you.
320
00:11:15,379 --> 00:11:16,793
I love ChaseDreams.
321
00:11:16,896 --> 00:11:20,241
He's, like, the cutest boy
in the whole world.
322
00:11:23,068 --> 00:11:25,482
- Cutest boy?
323
00:11:25,586 --> 00:11:27,344
- Everyone's saying
I should incorporate,
324
00:11:27,448 --> 00:11:29,000
but I don't know
if it's worth it.
325
00:11:29,103 --> 00:11:30,586
- I think it is,
'cause you could deduct
326
00:11:30,689 --> 00:11:31,827
all your business expenses.
327
00:11:31,931 --> 00:11:33,137
Think about every time you fly.
328
00:11:33,241 --> 00:11:35,103
- I just feel so dumb
about this stuff.
329
00:11:35,206 --> 00:11:38,068
Like, should I get
an LLC or an S Corp?
330
00:11:38,172 --> 00:11:40,310
What do you have?
331
00:11:40,413 --> 00:11:41,862
- Um, you know, actually--
332
00:11:41,965 --> 00:11:44,379
I don't--I don't think--
I'd get either
333
00:11:44,482 --> 00:11:47,586
in this climate.
334
00:11:47,689 --> 00:11:49,482
- Hey, Streeter,
I can't find you guys.
335
00:11:49,586 --> 00:11:52,344
Can you put Chase on?
- Chase can't talk right now.
336
00:11:52,448 --> 00:11:54,241
His neck is bound.
- What?
337
00:11:54,344 --> 00:11:56,793
- Yeah, I'm just trying to keep
his Adam's apple under control.
338
00:11:56,896 --> 00:11:58,724
Gotta keep that neck
looking young and slick.
339
00:11:58,827 --> 00:12:00,448
[chuckles]
- Ew, don't do that.
340
00:12:00,551 --> 00:12:01,793
Where are you?
341
00:12:01,896 --> 00:12:03,241
- Uh, we're on
a plane to Pittsburgh.
342
00:12:03,344 --> 00:12:04,551
- What?
- Yeah.
343
00:12:04,655 --> 00:12:06,310
He's got a concert at 9:00.
344
00:12:06,413 --> 00:12:07,655
- How?
He has one song.
345
00:12:07,758 --> 00:12:09,793
- Well, the grind never stops.
346
00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:11,551
So what are you doing,
gay brother man?
347
00:12:11,655 --> 00:12:13,068
Still tearing it up
at the, uh, AP?
348
00:12:13,172 --> 00:12:14,965
The after-partay?
- [sighs]
349
00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:17,655
I'm sure Brooke is.
She loves this kind of stuff.
350
00:12:17,758 --> 00:12:19,896
She's probably having fun
around here somewhere.
351
00:12:24,310 --> 00:12:25,586
[toilet flushes]
352
00:12:25,689 --> 00:12:28,724
Well, um, this woman
named Brittlyn
353
00:12:28,827 --> 00:12:31,586
wanted a photo with Chase,
but I guess whatever.
354
00:12:31,689 --> 00:12:33,689
- Brittlyn?
Oh, my God.
355
00:12:33,793 --> 00:12:35,103
That would have been
huge for Chase.
356
00:12:35,206 --> 00:12:37,034
She's, like, the biggest
11-year-old on Instagram.
357
00:12:37,137 --> 00:12:39,827
Her makeup tutorials
are, like, next level.
358
00:12:39,931 --> 00:12:42,344
- What?
Brittlyn is 11?
359
00:12:42,448 --> 00:12:44,241
She looks like she's 30.
360
00:12:44,344 --> 00:12:47,034
- Yeah, I said her makeup
tutorials are next level.
361
00:12:50,724 --> 00:12:53,551
- Wow, you look like a princess.
362
00:12:53,655 --> 00:12:54,931
- [soft laugh]
363
00:12:55,034 --> 00:12:56,896
I thought so too.
[soft laugh]
364
00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:59,103
- You really do.
- Oh, my God, girl.
365
00:12:59,206 --> 00:13:01,103
I'm so happy to see you.
I swear to God, I feel like
366
00:13:01,206 --> 00:13:02,620
I'm the oldest person
at this party.
367
00:13:02,724 --> 00:13:04,137
- Oh, tell me about it.
368
00:13:04,241 --> 00:13:06,517
I'm basically a dinosaur.
- Yeah.
369
00:13:06,620 --> 00:13:09,275
- I just want to go home.
It's, like, way past my bedtime.
370
00:13:09,379 --> 00:13:10,448
- Oh, totally.
371
00:13:10,551 --> 00:13:13,896
It's...
too bad I can't go home,
372
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:16,827
'cause I don't have one.
373
00:13:16,931 --> 00:13:19,275
- Oh, that's so sad.
- It's fine.
374
00:13:19,379 --> 00:13:21,482
- Do you want to
come to my house?
375
00:13:21,586 --> 00:13:23,758
- Wait, really?
Like, right now?
376
00:13:23,862 --> 00:13:26,586
- Yeah, we could
have a sleepover.
377
00:13:26,689 --> 00:13:28,310
- Okay! Yeah, I mean...
- [laughs]
378
00:13:28,413 --> 00:13:30,620
- God, I haven't done
one of those since I was 10.
379
00:13:30,724 --> 00:13:32,275
- Oh, me either.
380
00:13:32,379 --> 00:13:34,137
I just have to take a bath
before we go to bed.
381
00:13:34,241 --> 00:13:36,275
- Okay, yeah.
You know, do you, girl.
382
00:13:36,379 --> 00:13:39,413
- It's not even like I want to.
It's like I have to.
383
00:13:46,310 --> 00:13:47,896
- Wow.
384
00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:49,655
I mean, this place is amazing.
385
00:13:49,758 --> 00:13:51,275
Is it just you?
386
00:13:51,379 --> 00:13:53,137
- No, my mom lives with me.
387
00:13:53,241 --> 00:13:56,103
But she's upstairs sleeping.
She's really old.
388
00:13:56,206 --> 00:13:57,965
- Aww.
That's so sweet of you.
389
00:13:58,068 --> 00:14:00,034
[soft laugh]
Oh, thank you.
390
00:14:00,137 --> 00:14:02,310
I really needed another drink.
[laughs]
391
00:14:02,413 --> 00:14:04,655
Mm.
Wow!
392
00:14:04,758 --> 00:14:06,724
That's good.
Can't even taste it.
393
00:14:06,827 --> 00:14:07,965
- [slurps]
394
00:14:08,068 --> 00:14:09,931
- Ah--
[inhales sharply]
395
00:14:10,034 --> 00:14:11,793
Uh, should I order food?
- Oh, yeah.
396
00:14:11,896 --> 00:14:14,862
I just want tater tots
with a side of ranch.
397
00:14:14,965 --> 00:14:18,206
- Okay, literally,
that's exactly what I want.
398
00:14:18,310 --> 00:14:21,241
We are best friends.
We are going camping.
399
00:14:21,344 --> 00:14:24,310
- Oh, I just
went camping with my dad.
400
00:14:24,413 --> 00:14:26,517
- Oh.
Just the two of you?
401
00:14:26,620 --> 00:14:28,724
- Yeah.
We're super close.
402
00:14:28,827 --> 00:14:30,586
- Oh.
That's cool.
403
00:14:30,689 --> 00:14:35,206
Uh--[inhales]
My dad's dead.
404
00:14:35,310 --> 00:14:36,482
- He is?
405
00:14:36,586 --> 00:14:38,551
Your dad died?
- Mm-hmm.
406
00:14:38,655 --> 00:14:41,448
Like, six--six months ago?
407
00:14:41,551 --> 00:14:44,206
- Oh!
408
00:14:44,310 --> 00:14:45,620
Oh, no!
409
00:14:45,724 --> 00:14:50,206
[crying]
Oh, no.
410
00:14:50,310 --> 00:14:52,413
- Yeah.
411
00:14:52,517 --> 00:14:53,413
It is sad.
412
00:14:53,517 --> 00:14:55,655
- It's so sad!
413
00:14:55,758 --> 00:14:59,137
[sobbing]
Your daddy's dead!
414
00:14:59,241 --> 00:15:00,827
Oh, no!
415
00:15:00,931 --> 00:15:03,310
- My daddy's dead.
416
00:15:03,413 --> 00:15:05,965
- [crying]
- [crying] My daddy's dead.
417
00:15:06,068 --> 00:15:07,275
[dance music playing]
418
00:15:07,379 --> 00:15:10,137
[cell phone buzzing]
419
00:15:10,241 --> 00:15:12,034
♪
420
00:15:12,137 --> 00:15:13,000
- Hello?
421
00:15:13,103 --> 00:15:14,827
- Cary!
Great news.
422
00:15:14,931 --> 00:15:17,172
The ad guys believed
you're a fan of the puss.
423
00:15:17,275 --> 00:15:18,586
You got the part.
424
00:15:18,689 --> 00:15:21,344
- Yes.
Oh, my God.
425
00:15:21,448 --> 00:15:22,827
Oh, this is so great.
426
00:15:22,931 --> 00:15:24,551
Oh, I really needed this.
427
00:15:24,655 --> 00:15:27,000
Uh, and--and thank you
for dealing with this so late.
428
00:15:27,103 --> 00:15:29,586
I'm sure you're--
I'm sure you're at home by now.
429
00:15:29,689 --> 00:15:31,793
- Oh, don't worry about me.
430
00:15:31,896 --> 00:15:33,206
I'm always working.
[phone beeps]
431
00:15:33,310 --> 00:15:35,793
- Hi, two bean burritos?
- You got it.
432
00:15:37,931 --> 00:15:40,620
[Indian Trap's
"Look Like Monayyy"]
433
00:15:40,724 --> 00:15:42,827
♪
434
00:15:42,931 --> 00:15:46,758
- ♪ 'Cause I look like money
435
00:15:46,862 --> 00:15:49,758
♪
436
00:15:49,862 --> 00:15:52,103
♪ Lookin' like money
437
00:15:52,206 --> 00:15:53,896
♪ Hundred dollar bills
438
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:55,862
♪ Got me stripping
for my grill ♪
439
00:15:55,965 --> 00:15:59,034
♪ Yeah we look like money
440
00:15:59,137 --> 00:16:02,689
♪
441
00:16:02,793 --> 00:16:06,758
♪ Lookin' like money
442
00:16:06,862 --> 00:16:08,482
♪
443
00:16:08,586 --> 00:16:11,448
[indistinct chatter]
444
00:16:11,551 --> 00:16:14,413
[club music playing]
445
00:16:14,517 --> 00:16:18,068
♪
446
00:16:18,172 --> 00:16:21,310
Wait, what?
I booked the role?
447
00:16:21,413 --> 00:16:23,586
The main role?
448
00:16:23,689 --> 00:16:27,413
Wha--[laughs]
Awesome.
449
00:16:27,517 --> 00:16:30,137
Cha-ching!
450
00:16:33,655 --> 00:16:35,586
Wait, wha--really?
451
00:16:35,689 --> 00:16:37,689
I booked the TV role?
452
00:16:37,793 --> 00:16:39,827
Wha--that is...
453
00:16:39,931 --> 00:16:41,241
Me, Cary Dubek?
454
00:16:41,344 --> 00:16:44,482
Who would've--
who would've thought?
455
00:16:46,896 --> 00:16:48,413
[sighs]
456
00:16:51,413 --> 00:16:53,310
- [slurping]
457
00:16:53,413 --> 00:16:55,655
I mean, at first,
I thought it was gonna be fun
458
00:16:55,758 --> 00:16:58,379
to see 50 dicks,
but then I got to 8,
459
00:16:58,482 --> 00:17:02,551
and I was like, "Ugh!
This is exhausting!"
460
00:17:02,655 --> 00:17:04,862
Also, most dicks are gross.
461
00:17:04,965 --> 00:17:06,965
- Ew, I never ever
want to see one.
462
00:17:07,068 --> 00:17:08,655
- [laughs]
I mean...
463
00:17:08,758 --> 00:17:10,793
not never, but...
464
00:17:10,896 --> 00:17:13,241
- Hey, do you want to
come up to my room?
465
00:17:13,344 --> 00:17:16,034
I could show you
some of my toys.
466
00:17:16,137 --> 00:17:17,620
- You have toys?
467
00:17:17,724 --> 00:17:18,896
- Yeah, I have a bunch of them.
468
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:20,827
Maybe you and I
could play with them?
469
00:17:20,931 --> 00:17:22,965
- Okay.
Yeah, great.
470
00:17:23,068 --> 00:17:24,034
- Kay.
- You go on ahead and I'll
471
00:17:24,137 --> 00:17:25,137
just--I'll catch up with you.
472
00:17:25,241 --> 00:17:26,482
- Okay.
- Okay.
473
00:17:26,586 --> 00:17:29,103
- Yeah.
- [chuckles]
474
00:17:29,206 --> 00:17:31,896
[softly]
Oh, my God.
475
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:35,275
"Play with toys"?
476
00:17:35,379 --> 00:17:38,068
This woman wants to
have sex with me.
477
00:17:38,172 --> 00:17:39,586
[club music playing]
478
00:17:39,689 --> 00:17:44,931
[line trilling]
479
00:17:45,034 --> 00:17:46,517
- Hey, GB!
480
00:17:46,620 --> 00:17:48,517
Chase can't talk right now.
We're dying his tongue.
481
00:17:48,620 --> 00:17:50,172
- Dying his tongue?
482
00:17:50,275 --> 00:17:51,758
- Yeah, we're just trying to
get it a little pinker.
483
00:17:51,862 --> 00:17:53,517
You know, girls don't like
a pale tongue.
484
00:17:53,620 --> 00:17:56,034
- Well, uh, I was just calling
to tell Chase
485
00:17:56,137 --> 00:17:58,655
that, um, I--
I booked that commercial.
486
00:17:58,758 --> 00:17:59,931
It's kind of a big deal.
487
00:18:00,034 --> 00:18:02,724
I think it's, like, $30,000.
488
00:18:02,827 --> 00:18:04,275
- Whoa, 30K!
489
00:18:04,379 --> 00:18:06,931
That's, like, 3 Instagrams
for Chase.
490
00:18:07,034 --> 00:18:09,482
- Wait.
How much does he make from--
491
00:18:09,586 --> 00:18:10,724
[phone buzzing]
492
00:18:10,827 --> 00:18:12,793
Hold on a second.
493
00:18:12,896 --> 00:18:14,241
- Cary, I have an emergency.
494
00:18:14,344 --> 00:18:16,206
- Where are you?
I'll come find you.
495
00:18:16,310 --> 00:18:17,965
- I'm in SoHo.
- What?
496
00:18:18,068 --> 00:18:20,793
Why does everyone
keep leaving me?
497
00:18:20,896 --> 00:18:22,448
I didn't want to come to this.
498
00:18:22,551 --> 00:18:24,344
- Okay, Cary, you know how
I've always prided myself
499
00:18:24,448 --> 00:18:26,275
on probably being bisexual?
500
00:18:26,379 --> 00:18:27,862
Well, I went home
with this girl Brittlyn
501
00:18:27,965 --> 00:18:29,413
who, you know, offered me
a place to crash
502
00:18:29,517 --> 00:18:32,620
and now she wants
to have sex and...
503
00:18:32,724 --> 00:18:34,586
I'm not into it.
504
00:18:34,689 --> 00:18:37,896
I mean, am I a straight woman?
That is nothing anymore.
505
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:39,379
- Wait, Brittlyn?
506
00:18:39,482 --> 00:18:41,965
Is she wearing so much makeup?
507
00:18:42,068 --> 00:18:43,793
- Yeah, I mean,
it looks amazing.
508
00:18:43,896 --> 00:18:45,275
She should do tutorials.
509
00:18:45,379 --> 00:18:47,103
- She doesn't want
to have sex with you.
510
00:18:47,206 --> 00:18:48,655
- That's rude.
- [chuckles]
511
00:18:48,758 --> 00:18:51,517
She's, um, she's 11.
512
00:18:51,620 --> 00:18:53,862
You went home with
an 11-year-old girl.
513
00:18:53,965 --> 00:18:56,068
[dramatic suspense music]
514
00:18:56,172 --> 00:18:58,241
- In this climate?
515
00:19:02,206 --> 00:19:03,896
- 15 minutes?
516
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:05,379
- Oh, hey.
517
00:19:05,482 --> 00:19:08,034
Congrats on the part.
- Oh.
518
00:19:08,137 --> 00:19:10,172
Thanks.
How'd you know?
519
00:19:10,275 --> 00:19:11,482
- You were walking
around the party,
520
00:19:11,586 --> 00:19:13,344
making a bunch of
fake phone calls.
521
00:19:13,448 --> 00:19:15,793
- Oh.
No, no, no, those calls--
522
00:19:15,896 --> 00:19:17,620
those calls you were hearing,
they were very real.
523
00:19:17,724 --> 00:19:19,896
Those were real people
on the other line.
524
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:21,793
- [soft laugh]
It's okay, we've all done it.
525
00:19:21,896 --> 00:19:23,517
- Yeah, I actually had to
526
00:19:23,620 --> 00:19:25,862
re-tape myself in the bathroom
just to get the part.
527
00:19:25,965 --> 00:19:28,137
- Ew, I hate that.
I always get, like,
528
00:19:28,241 --> 00:19:30,344
"Great, but can you do
it again, like, less gay?"
529
00:19:30,448 --> 00:19:32,862
It's like, "No. Fuck you.
Either cast me or don't."
530
00:19:32,965 --> 00:19:35,862
- Yeah, no, uh, for me,
it was--
531
00:19:35,965 --> 00:19:38,344
they just wanted it louder.
532
00:19:38,448 --> 00:19:40,793
- Mm.
Well.
533
00:19:40,896 --> 00:19:44,068
Congrats.
And, uh, have a good night.
534
00:19:52,241 --> 00:19:56,034
- [yawns]
Morning!
535
00:19:56,137 --> 00:20:00,000
Do I smell bacon?
- No.
536
00:20:00,103 --> 00:20:02,448
- Sorry.
Can I smell bacon?
537
00:20:02,551 --> 00:20:04,379
- No, but
538
00:20:04,482 --> 00:20:07,620
I did make you
something even better.
539
00:20:07,724 --> 00:20:10,793
- [gasps]
Oh, my God!
540
00:20:10,896 --> 00:20:13,344
Oh, Cary,
the watermark looks so real.
541
00:20:13,448 --> 00:20:15,379
- I know, right?
I even gave you
542
00:20:15,482 --> 00:20:16,724
a little glamour mole, 'cause
I know you've always wanted one.
543
00:20:16,827 --> 00:20:20,896
- Aw, it's perfect.
- [chuckles]
544
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:23,551
- Hey, sister roomie.
- [soft laugh]
545
00:20:23,655 --> 00:20:25,655
Hey!
546
00:20:28,620 --> 00:20:31,931
Okay, I'm gonna email this
to all my Ohio friends.
547
00:20:32,034 --> 00:20:33,931
[clears throat]
"Hey, girlies.
548
00:20:34,034 --> 00:20:36,931
"Long time, no talk.
We should really hang soon.
549
00:20:37,034 --> 00:20:39,241
"Maybe camping?
550
00:20:39,344 --> 00:20:43,862
Anyway, how are you?
I'm doing see attached."
551
00:20:43,965 --> 00:20:46,896
Oh, my God, they are
going to be so jealous.
552
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:49,931
It's insane.
Send.
553
00:20:50,034 --> 00:20:52,241
- And so I ask you, Governor,
why is it that
554
00:20:52,344 --> 00:20:54,068
five years later,
the people of Flint
555
00:20:54,172 --> 00:20:55,586
still do not have
clean drinking water?
556
00:20:55,689 --> 00:20:56,724
[cell phone buzzes, chimes]
557
00:20:56,827 --> 00:20:59,413
Sorry.
558
00:21:01,448 --> 00:21:05,482
I think this girl I grew up with
got married at a movie premiere?
559
00:21:05,586 --> 00:21:06,965
I think she also
grew a new mole.
560
00:21:07,068 --> 00:21:08,137
Anyway.
561
00:21:08,724 --> 00:21:12,275
- I actually did
a lot of theater in college.
562
00:21:12,379 --> 00:21:15,137
Um, yeah, I was weirdly
in a main stage
563
00:21:15,241 --> 00:21:18,137
my freshman year, which was
sort of a big deal.
564
00:21:18,241 --> 00:21:20,310
Um, yeah, and this was
the theater school
565
00:21:20,413 --> 00:21:22,137
where Patrick Wilson's
cousin went.
566
00:21:22,241 --> 00:21:24,137
I--I didn't know him, but...
40564
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