All language subtitles for BBC Mission Joy 1080p HDTV.x265_track3_[eng]

Over there, yeah.
Father, over there.

Is it going to be OK
with you here, Father?

Thank you.

Just like that.

OK.

All right.

Here we go.

OK.

ARCHIVE: The Tibetan people are
being exterminated,

their culture and religion
are being stamped out.

Since he was four years old,
the Dalai Lama was trained to lead

his people, but lost control of his
country to the Chinese Government,

and has led his people from
exile for decades.

OBAMA: Amid tear gas
and police dogs,

Desmond Tutu led a
people against apartheid.

The idea of freedom has not yet come
to this last remaining bastion

of white supremacy in Africa.

When people decide to be free,

absolutely NOTHING is going to
stop them from becoming free.

Archbishop Desmond Tutu
of South Africa came to meet

the Dalai Lama.

An historic meeting of men
whose lifelong quests for justice

and self-determination
for their people

garnered each
the Nobel Prize for Peace.

How are we doing, everyone?
Are we ready? Button there.

Are we good?

OK, great.

His Holiness...

Listen.

Act like a holy man.

THEY LAUGH

I was actually with my dad when
he and the Dalai Lama first met

at a museum in - of all places -

Newark, New Jersey.

It's a very great honour
to meet His Holiness

and to know that one
is in the presence

of a very great spiritual leader.

I don't think you could find
two people on the planet

who are more different than
the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu -

or Arch, as his friends call him.

One's from Africa, one's from Asia.

One's a Buddhist, one's a Christian.

One grew up in absolute poverty,

the other grew up in
a thousand-room palace.

But immediately, they recognised
each other as what they called

their mischievous spiritual brother.

I've sometimes said to him, "Shhhh!"

LAUGHTER

"The cameras are on us!"

You know the word "mischievous"?

You are mischievous, aren't you?

LAUGHTER

Honestly, the energy between them
is eight-year-old boy.

I look at them and I think,

"I am so glad that I was not
your third-grade teacher!"

Because they're so playful,

so much fun and teasing.

Unfortunately, he's a Buddhist.

LAUGHTER

At the beginning of the dialogue,

I was like, "Who the hell am I
to try to sit down with these two

"incredible spiritual leaders
and try to distil their wisdom?"

But, as Arch says, sometimes
you're the one in the room

and it doesn't matter what your
strengths or your limitations are -

you have to just show up and let
what wants to happen happen.

I have worked with this young man...

Since when? At least a decade.

I think that Doug
sees my dad as another father.

And my dad sees Doug as...

Yeah, another of
his beloved children.

Nothing will stop us,
for we are moving to freedom!

I first learned about
Archbishop Tutu

when I was an undergraduate
in college.

It is my great honour to
introduce a man of courage -

Bishop Desmond Tutu.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

At that time,
he travelled the world,

speaking out against the white
South African government,

and on college campuses

across the US, he was treated
as something like a rock star.

In a situation of injustice
and oppression,

there can be no neutrality.

You have to take sides.

You have to say,
"Am I on the side of justice

"or am I on the side of injustice?"

I was so inspired.

I wondered,
how does a man like this -

how does he live day to day,
and what can I learn from that?

Before we begin,
I want to thank Jinpa,

who worked very hard
with me on the questions

and any of the
good questions are his,

any of the bad questions are mine.

THEY LAUGH

So, when we speak about Buddha,
Dharma and Sangha...

Jinpa is the long-time translator
for the Dalai Lama.

He was a Buddhist monk
who left monastic life,

went to Cambridge and got a PhD

and is one of the most
extraordinary translators

and interpreters of Tibetan text.

I'd become the interpreter
for His Holiness,

which meant my service was not so
much to the Tibetan community,

my service was to His Holiness,
to the world.

I also want to ask us to just
forget about the cameras -

this is not live.
If you fall asleep, that's fine.

HE CHUCKLES

If anyone could help us live with
more joy in the face of the pain

in our lives and the pain in our
world, it was these two men.

It's clear that laughter
is central to the way

that you are in the world.

Your spiritual practice hasn't
made you sombre and serious,

it's made you more joyful.

So, how can people cultivate
that sense of joy

as a way of being,
not just a feeling?

HE LAUGHS

Yes.

Yes. In fact, when you...

..say you are pursuing happiness...

..you are not going to find it.

It's very elusive.

Potential?

But let me ask you.

You've been in exile...

50-what years?

56!

From a country that you love...

..more than anything else.

Why are you not morose?

Sad, sad.

His Holiness, the Dalai Lama was
born to an ordinary farmer's family.

In fact,
his parents were illiterate.

13th Dalai Lama passed away.

The Tibetan succession system
for choosing the next Dalai Lama

relies on this Buddhist
concept of reincarnation.

There's a formal recognition
of a child at a very young age

as the continuity of the Dalai Lama,

and he was recognised
at the age of two.

One of the method as part of the
process involves identifying

what objects belonging
to the predecessor,

which are mixed with other
objects, as well.

He passed the test
with flying colours.

Once he was formally recognised,

he was brought to Lhasa, to central
Tibet, the Potala Palace.

That meant the day-to-day
upbringing was handled by monks,

tutors and attendants.

His Holiness, in some of his books,
writes of loneliness.

His curiosity was piqued by science.

He had a fascination for
mechanical things.

From the Potala Palace,
he would see these shepherds' kids,

you know, coming home, bringing home
the goats and other animals,

you know, singing freely and
whistling with a sense of abandon.

You know, the expectation,
aspiration and hopes of the entire

Tibetan people was placed upon -
you know, I would say unfairly -

upon the shoulders of
this young kid.

Communist China claims that Tibet
has been historically part of China,

and it's reclaiming what
it sees as lost territory.

And by 1951, they had completely
taken over the entire country.

Up until 1959, the Dalai Lama really
made efforts to try to find

a political solution
to the arrangement

of China's presence in Tibet.

March 10th 1959,

thousands and thousands of people
came out into the streets,

protesting against
the Chinese presence,

which then created
the large-scale people's uprising.

And soon after, there was
a bombardment by the Chinese.

EXPLOSION

Then the question was,
how do you get out of this

without being noticed?

What His Holiness did was to
disguise himself as a soldier.

I can imagine those few moments when
he's stepping out of

his palace compound and pretending
to be, you know, one of the guards.

And he left Lhasa and then began
the long journey to India.

NEWSREEL: No-one could have told
from his unruffled bearing,

as he was greeted by high Indian
officials, that the Dalai Lama

had been in mortal danger
since he left Lhasa -

that he had been forced
to leave his capital.

Reframing - cognitive reframing -
is really a powerful technique

to change your mind-set.

And in the Buddhist language,
we call it outlook.

And this is a fundamental insight
in Buddhist psychology.

That's why so much emphasis is
placed in Buddhist psychology

on changing the way
you see the world

instead of resentment
and bitterness.

Reframing can help us, liberate us
from that resentment, and free us.

I mean that, what you've said
is quite wonderful.

I think, to add to it, is...

The thing is not, how do you escape?

It's, how can I use this
as something positive?

And Your Holiness has indicated
that nothing, I think,

can be more devastating,

in many ways, than being turfed out
of your own country.

I mean, it's part of you - and, by
rights, His Holiness should be...

..a sourpuss!

I mean, he should be...

Just do that face - leave your
face as it is normally.

You look like that.

You look like you
are a real sourpuss.

Oh!

And then when you smile,
your face lights up.

And it is because,
in very large measure,

you have transmuted what would
have been totally negative -

you've transmuted it into goodness.

Because, again, you have not said,

"Well, how could I be happy?"

You've not said that -
you've said...

.."How can I help to spread
compassion and love?"

The idea of the dialogues
was to explore the nature of joy

in the face of adversity.

But they also wanted
us to bring in the science.

They said this shouldn't be
a Buddhist dialogue

or a Christian dialogue -

this should be about
the nature of being human.

And so they asked me to find out
whether what they were saying

was confirmed
or contradicted by science.

Dr Sonja Lyubomirsky, at the
University of California, Riverside

has done some extraordinary studies
on the science of happiness.

My lab and I started doing what we
call happiness interventions,

so they are basically like clinical
trials, but instead of testing

a new treatment - say, for Covid -

we're testing a happiness strategy.

In one typical study, we found that
people who did acts of kindness

for others became happier
and actually stayed happier

for about two to four weeks
after the study was over.

And then people who did acts
of kindness for themselves

felt good while they were doing it,

but that didn't
change their happiness.

So, what really was important
about kindness

was that you're connecting
with another person,

and it might actually
have effects on the body.

So, we collected blood, and we found
that those who did acts of kindness

for others showed changes in their
RNA gene expression in the blood

that were associated with
a healthier immune profile.

So it turns out that happiness isn't
just something that feels good -

it's not just about pleasure -
but it's more than that.

Happier people have more friends,

they're also more productive
at work, they're more creative,

they're physically healthier,
they have stronger immune systems -

they even live longer.

You're very good, yeah.

You're wise.

I wouldn't say wise selfish,
you are wise.

THEY LAUGH

You don't wake up
in the morning and say,

"Hey, I'm going to become a friend
to the Dalai Lama."

It just happens.

I think it was
a communication of the heart.

I thought you were non-violent!

The Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu

have only actually been together
half a dozen times.

You know, global spiritual masters

don't have a lot of time
to hang out with their buddies.

That's great.

LAUGHTER

The Dalai Lama was invited to my
dad's 80th birthday in Cape Town.

# Happy birthday to you... #

The South African government
at that time

had extensive trade
relationships with China,

and they delayed the process
of issuing him a visa

for weeks and weeks and weeks.

It's quite unbelievable,

the discourtesy
that they have shown

to the Dalai Lama.

I mean, Dalai Lama!

I am warning you.

One day, we will start praying

for the defeat of
the ANC Government.

For the African National Congress,

for the ANC to prevent the Dalai
Lama from coming to South Africa -

not giving him a visa -
was just a betrayal.

So, we knew that the only way
to get them together

was to bring Arch to Dharamsala.

We just didn't know if his health
would be strong enough.

My father had several recurrences
of prostate cancer.

And so there was, you know,
constant concerns

and in and out of hospitals
and all kinds of infections.

So, eventually, all of the
pieces fell into place.

My father was so happy to finally
see his dear friend again

and to embark on a joint mission

that spoke to their life's work -

a mission of joy.

LAUGHTER

Now, people are now going to know

that the Dalai Lama
comes into a room

and he's looking around,

maybe sitting
with presidents or something -

he hopes that the chair
will break down.

LAUGHTER

He's doing very well.

He's behaving like a human being!

LAUGHTER

What is the role of enjoyment
and enjoying your life for you?

As a monastic, people may say,

"Oh, he has renounced pleasure
or enjoyment of his life."

What?

Did you say that?

You are a monk, remember?

Have you renounced
pleasure and enjoyment?

I sat next to you at lunch
the other day,

it looked like you were enjoying
this wonderful food.

And one of the most fascinating
things about that week together

was that when we asked people
to send us their questions,

we got thousands of responses.

They definitely were interested
in the big questions

of why we're here, the
nature of life, and about mortality.

There's a question of how
you think about your own deaths.

How do you think
about that possibility?

THEY LAUGH

Well, he doesn't mind too much
because there's reincarnation.

The Chinese say they
are going to decide...

You must be nice to them!

Yes. Well, I should say
that, for a very long time,

the thought of my demise...

..brought a great deal of anxiety.

I've had a number
of near-fatal illnesses.

As a child, I had polio...

..and my father went off to buy
the wood for making my coffin.

And then, in my teenage years,

I developed TB.

I was quite surprised -
after, I said,

"God, if this is curtains for me,
then it's OK."

I have to admit that I was surprised

at the calm and the peace
that came over me.

Er...

This is a fact of life -

death is a fact of life.

Yes. A-ha!

LAUGHTER

Hmm.

Good 'un.

Yes.

I think there's a
lot of shared background -

you know, both of them
are deeply spiritual people

and also both of them
have deep history

of struggle against
authoritarian systems.

ARCHIVE: Bishop Desmond Tutu
has become

the leading voice in South Africa
against that country's system

of separation of the races,
apartheid,

under which the best housing,
jobs and education are reserved

for the white minority and are
denied to the 22 million blacks.

Apartheid really began in 1948,
but separating black Africans

from the white minority
had long been a policy aim.

Many had no right to citizenship

and were regarded as aliens
in major cities.

Instead, they were made citizens
of Bantustans -

homelands scattered
throughout South Africa.

I'm from one of the townships
in South Africa.

Black townships.

Squalor-ridden.

Archbishop, you were saying
how His Holiness has experienced

great suffering in his exile,
but you too, in apartheid,

and you and your people experienced
great suffering.

And even in your personal life,
you have dealt with cancer,

you're dealing
with prostate cancer now.

You've been able to maintain
that joy

in the face of that suffering.
How have you been able to do it?

Well, I've certainly been helped
by many other people.

You open, you blossom...

..really because of other people.

When I was about nine, my mother
was working as a domestic worker

at a institute for blind people.

I recall this white priest in
a long, flowing cassock,

doffing his hat to my mother.

That struck me as being quite odd.

That was completely unheard of
in the South Africa of the time.

White man would not treat a black
woman, and a washer woman at that,

as a person worthy of
dignified respect.

Trevor Huddleston was

the superior of the Community
of the Resurrection,

which was an Anglican order
of monks.

Later, when my dad was hospitalised
with tuberculosis,

Trevor was a regular visitor,

used to bring him magazines

and comic books.

When you help someone who
is less well-off,

when you are kind to someone else,

you end up being joyful.

But why? Because we realise
that we are made for goodness.

I was the fourth child,

and I remember being very young and

having my dad teaching me to write.

My parents had been teachers
before the Bantu Education Act.

Both of them left teaching
in protest of that,

and that was actually when my father
went to study for ministry.

Basically, what the
apartheid government said was

that there's no reason

to educate black people
beyond their station,

so anything beyond what enables you
to be a useful servant

is more than you need to know.

The system tries to destroy us.

It won't succeed.

I want to tell you,
it won't succeed.

ARCHIVE: Police in South Africa
arrested Archbishop Desmond Tutu

and several other church leaders
during a protest demonstration.

Meanwhile, in South Africa,
police continue to use

their emergency powers to stifle
anti-government opposition.

I remember it as a moment when you
realised that black life was cheap.

Tutu reiterated a commitment
to non-violence,

but added, it's very important when
talking about violence to note

that the primary violence in South
Africa is the violence of apartheid.

DOG GROWLING

There were 19 coffins
of those shot by police

while marching to another
funeral three weeks ago.

Someone is killed almost every day
in clashes with the police.

And reflected by what was today the
greatest gathering of black grief

and protest in this country ever,

the passions aroused
in recent months seem,

if anything, more intense.

The crowd thought this man
was a police informer -

he would have died here,
kicked to death.

But Bishop Tutu saved his life,
rushing from his car and pleading

with the crowd to leave him alone.

They would have listened
to no-one else.

I am saying...

We were on the edge of a precipice.

We were fortunate our country
did not go up in flames.

Arch became one
of the central figures

of the anti-apartheid struggle

because so many of the
political activists,

like Nelson Mandela,
were in jail or in exile.

And it really became his ministry
and his mission

to explain to the world what was
happening in South Africa.

People are peace-loving
and have sought to bring about

a change in that ghastly system
by conventional, peaceful methods.

And the reaction of
the Government has been

police bullets, tear gas,
detention and death.

And he became
public enemy number one.

Is there anyone here who says,
"We will not be free"?

CROWD: No!

He was ultimately significant in
bringing down the apartheid regime.

You can, in fact, overcome some of

the most horrendous circumstances

and emerge on the other side...

..not broken, with the eagerness

to spread goodness and
compassion in the world.

I was thinking of Nelson Mandela.

When he went to jail, he was young.

He was the head of the armed wing
of African National Congress.

MANDELA: There are many people who
feel that it is useless and futile

for us to continue talking peace
and non-violence

against the Government, whose
reply is only savage attacks

on an unarmed
and defenceless people.

And I think the
time has come for us...

He believed firmly that
the enemy had to be decimated.

That is the guy who went in.

He goes on to Robben Island

and is mistreated.

They are made to dig in a quarry.

They were sleeping on the floor,
no mattress.

He spent 27 years.

And many would say,
"27, oh, what a waste!"

No!

That suffering in prison

helped him
to become more magnanimous.

Willing to listen to
the other side,

to see the people
he regarded as enemy...

You know, they too
were human beings who had

fears, expectations,

and they had been moulded
by their society.

It's like being put in a kind
of fiery furnace to be refined.

And in fact, in some ways,

some suffering - maybe even intense
suffering -

is a necessary ingredient
for developing...

..compassion.

Yes.

Hmm.

HE SPEAKS TIBETAN

So, this shows the Tibetan
saying is really true. Mm-hm.

And, you know, the suffering
is what makes you appreciate joy.

A classical Buddhist education
involves many years

of rigorous academic training,

a large part of which is actually in
the format of a dialectical debate.

You know, a concept needs to
be always examined thoroughly.

If it is not tested,

it's like a sand castle -
with one finger below,

the whole thing crumbles down.

And His Holiness has a very
sophisticated academic background.

And this is one of the reasons why,

when he sits down with scientists
and academics - you know,

Western scholars - to engage in a
deep conversation of any topic,

they are surprised
to see an intellect.

They are fascinated by the way
in which his mind works.

I first met His Holiness
the Dalai Lama in 1992.

He invited me to talk with him
about the possibility of engaging

in neuroscientific research

with Tibetan monks,

practitioners who have spent years
training their mind.

I began my career studying
the disturbed mind,

and when I met His Holiness
for the first time,

he challenged me in a very direct
way and he said,

"Why can't you use the same tools
of modern neuroscience

"that you've been using to study
depression and anxiety and fear -

"why can't you use those same
tools to study kindness

"and to study compassion?"

When we first proposed this,

most people looked at us like
we were absolutely nuts.

But here's the experiment.

What we do is we bring people into
the laboratory

and we put a kind of metal plate
that we strap onto a person's wrist.

And through this plate,

we can circulate water very,
very rapidly

and we can regulate
the temperature of the water.

And I could tell
you that this is damn hot.

It feels like
it's burning your skin.

So, we just give them
one experience of this

so that they know
what we're talking about,

they have the direct experience.

Then we bring them
into the formal experiment

and they're in the MRI scanner.

And we tell them we're going to
give them two tones.

When they hear one tone - which is
a high-pitched tone, "beep!" -

then they know that, in ten seconds,
they're going to get zapped

with this very painful stimulus.

If they hear a low tone - "boop!" -

they know that they
will just feel warm,

but it won't be hot.

Very simple.

So, we have people who
have meditated

and we have controls -
people who've never meditated -

they're age- and gender-matched
and they go through this experiment.

Now, we know where in the brain
the pain circuits reside,

so we know exactly where to look.

And when we look at those circuits
in the non-meditating controls,

the moment we present the
high-pitched tone - "beep" -

their brain responds as if it
received the actual pain.

So, nothing's happened other
than they got a tone,

but their brains are responding
as if they got the heat.

When you do that
with the meditators,

they receive the tone - "beep!"...

Nothing happens.

There's absolutely no significant
change in the pain matrix.

They're flat.

Then, when the actual heat
comes on, both groups respond.

But then as soon
as the pain goes off,

the meditators come right
back down to baseline,

whereas the controls persist -

their pain circuits
are still reverberating.

It's as if they can't shut them off.
They're ruminating about the pain.

The conclusion that our work
has led us to -

very simply, but we think
it's a very radical conclusion -

and that is that wellbeing
is a skill.

Wellbeing can actually be learned,

it can be nurtured, and it's a skill
that can enable us to live

a happier life.

When human beings first evolved
on this planet,

none of us were brushing our teeth.

This is a learned behaviour,
it's not part of our genome.

And if we spent even the short
amount of time

that we spend every
day brushing our teeth

nurturing our mind, this world
would be a very different place.

His Holiness and my dad are both
people who have

very strong disciplines of prayer
and quiet time.

When I went to seminary
and was ordained,

I had the experience of learning
my dad's language

in a way that allowed me to have

a different quality
of conversation with him.

The most important lesson that
I have taken

is taking time for prayer,
and taking time for quiet.

For him, that's the first priority,
and everything else flows from that.

It's incredibly rare for anyone to
be able to go to the inner sanctum

of the Dalai Lama's meditation room.

It's this very private room

where His Holiness
spends most of his time,

where all of his texts are.

And the seat is facing the altar,

which contains a Kyirong Jowo -
the most sacred icon

in the entire
Tibetan Buddhist world.

The Dalai Lama is going to share one
of his meditations with us

and he's like,

"OK, so every morning I start
off with a death meditation."

You know, and I think about how my
body and my identity will dissolve.

We then had a Eucharist service.

The Eucharist is a prayer of
thanksgiving for the life of Christ

and for Christ's life in us.

Blessed be God - Father,
Son and Holy Spirit.

We share in the body and
blood of Christ,

and so typically,
we have bread and wine.

My father whispered in my ear,

"Do I offer him the Eucharist?
Do I NOT offer him the Eucharist?"

Serving communion to non-Christians
is controversial for some people.

I think where my father has landed

is that it's God's table,
it's not his table,

and so whoever approaches
the table with reverence

comes at God's invitation.

His Holiness fully
participated in this.

It was a very powerful experience
for me personally

because Archbishop
led through the sacrament.

Glory to God in the highest,
and peace to His people on Earth.

Really?

Yes, you are wonderful.

LAUGHTER

You won't keep him humble, though.

I want to jump for a second
next to our next topic,

which is about despair

and hopelessness.

According to the UN,

350 million people in our world

suffer from depression.

They no longer have hope.

What do you say to people
who come to this work

where that sadness has become
despair and hopelessness?

Yes, but I think he is wanting
to see how do we help people

who really want to be joyful,

but who are holding on
by the skin of their teeth?

For me, when I have
some anguish in my life,

what keeps me going is that

I am a prisoner of hope.

But it's not something that just
comes ready-made from heaven.

We are human beings -
fallible human beings -

and His Holiness points out that,
I mean, now...

I mean, we see him so

serene and calm,

but there was a time when he, too...

GGGGRRRRRRR!!!

LAUGHTER

And His Holiness' serenity
didn't come ready made.

It was through the practice
of prayer, meditation...

..that the gentleness,

the compassion grew.

It's like muscles

that have to be exercised

in order for them
to get their right tone

and to be strengthened.

The Tibetan Children's Village

is where children who have come
as refugees from Tibet

come to live - it's a sort
of an orphanage, really.

It's an orphanage, a school.

One of the things that is happening
in Tibet is the Chinese Government

is really trying to suppress
Tibetan culture.

Because of this,

some parents who are in Tibet

will send their children

to the Tibetan Children's Village.

I was originally sent to
the Tibetan Children's Village

when I was four years old.

My first memory of meeting
with the Dalai Lama is probably

when I was about seven
years old, six years old.

This was at the Tibetan Children's
Village in Shimla, northern India,

and the entire school community
was busy preparing,

you know, cleaning the roads and,
you know,

drawing patterns on the ground
in the traditional Tibetan style.

And it turned out that I was one of
the two children

who was appointed to, you know,
walk beside him, holding his hand.

One of the questions
I asked him was, you know,

whether I can become a monk -

so I don't know, there seemed
to have been some karma.

First of all, I would
like to say tashi delek.

My name is Tenzin Tsering.

Now I'm going to share
how I escaped from Tibet.

I'm Tenzin Dolma of Class 12.

I was born in a small village called
Kanze, in Kham province, in Tibet.

I came from Tibet when I was
five years old, in 2002.

It was a great loss for me,
not being with my family,

especially my mother.

My journey is very difficult

because we crossed Mount Kailash
and many rivers.

We had to hide
from the Chinese police,

so my grandmother hid me
among the luggage,

or under the seat of the bus.

I was only five and I had to leave
my family behind.

the pain I went through,
leaving my family...

SHE WEEPS

Sorry.

That was really an aching moment,

an aching encounter.

And His Holiness always is aware
that there is a kind of a...

..expectation on his part
to be the rock,

to be the anchor,

you know, for every Tibetan.

So I think that has
always sort of...

On his part, it was more of a...

Not so much giving comfort,
per se, but giving courage.

Whereas Archbishop's immediate
response was to give comfort.

Feelings - we have no control
over our feelings.

Well, it is painful -
it IS painful - you know?

And you have to acknowledge
that it is painful.

Yes. But I think we ought not
to make people feel guilty.

Emotions are spontaneous
things that arise.

The Dalai Lama was saying, if
we do our spiritual practices,

if we take the time to cultivate
ourselves,

we can prevent ourselves

from falling into fear,
anger and sadness.

But, as Arch said, inevitably,
at some points, we are.

Because we're human!

I would say...

..to everyone, you are...
You are made for perfection.

You are made for perfection.

You are not yet perfect.

You are a masterpiece in the making.

The concept that we have in South
Africa, the concept of ubuntu,

where it says a person is a person
through other persons.

I mean, I could not speak
as I'm speaking

without having learnt
it from other human beings.

I could not think as a human being,

except through learning it
from other human beings.

We belong in this delicate network.

You know, I mean, when you think
of Doctors Without Borders -

why do they go there?

I mean, they could stay in France
or wherever

and have a wonderful practice.

But they don't!

They go off to some of
the most poverty-stricken places.

Those doctors and nurses,

people going into a hugely
dangerous situation.

You know, the outpouring of love

and compassion and caring

by people you... I mean, you don't
know them from Adam.

And people just give and give

because that's, see, that's actually
who we really are.

Yes. It's...

It's how we are made.

We're wired to be compassionate.

We're wired to be caring
for the other.

If you live out ubuntu,

ubuntu says,

"We can be human only together."

It's no surprise that when

the essence of their wisdom
is distilled,

the key to joy is to get in touch

with your own natural compassion
and live from there.

Find a way to live from there.

SOBS

At the end of the apartheid era,
many people didn't know

how their loved ones had died,

where their loved ones were buried,

knew nothing of the ends
of their loved ones' lives.

This is an opportunity

to put the past behind you.

The liberation movement wanted
to have Nuremberg-style trials

for those who had been
the perpetrators of the worst

of the human rights violations
under apartheid. The apartheid

government wanted amnesty for all
of those who had been perpetrators.

The Truth and Reconciliation
Commission was something

of a compromise. In exchange for
telling the truth of their actions,

people would be immune from
prosecution.

There's one thing that I will have
to live till the day I die.

It's the corpses that I will
have to drag with me to my grave

of the people whom I've killed.

Forgiveness meant, "I'm wiping
the slate clean so that we can work

"together for a better tomorrow,

"a different narrative of who we are

"as a South African community."

And my father was invited to chair
the commission.

We are charged to unearth
the truth about our dark past.

To lay the ghosts of that past

so that they will not return
to haunt us,

and that we will thereby contribute

to the healing of a traumatised
and wounded people.

When you shot this man,
what did you see?

HE SPEAKS AFRIKAANS

TRANSLATION: I shot him on
the side of his head.

Captain Ryan Bellingham
was accompanied by this colleague,

Constable Thapelo Mbelo.

TRANSLATION: A man approached
us raising his arms.

One sergeant from the right unit -
he was a white sergeant -

said I should shoot this man.

I shot him whilst he was lying
on his back.

We had mothers of some young
people who were killed.

One man who betrayed these
young people

appeared in front of these mothers

and asked for their forgiveness.

And one of the mothers said,
"My child, I forgive you."

There is an incredible kind of
nobility and strength.

We have the potential

to be instruments of incredible

compassion and forgiveness.

THEY LAUGH

Absolutely, yes.

I was just going to say

those who say forgiving
is a sign of weakness

haven't tried it.

But often the people that
we have the hardest time forgiving

are the people who are closest
to us. Yes, yes.

My father's father
was the headmaster of the school

across the street from their home.

My grandfather was
wonderful, fun, bright

and all of those positive
attributes.

But when he got drunk,
he became violent and abusive.

My mother, she was just such
a very gentle person.

An incredible human being.

And that just made it,
I think, worse.

I used to get so, so angry.

If I'd been bigger,

I would wallop him.

SHOUTING

I was very angry with myself

for being too small to intervene

when she was being roughed up.

If he were here, looking at you,

what would you say to him?

I would certainly tell him

I was deeply hurt

by how he treated my mother.

One great regret I have is when my

father said he wanted to talk to me,

there was something he wanted
to tell me, and, um...

..I was too tired and I said,
"No, well, we'll talk.

"Can we talk tomorrow?"

It sometimes happens only in novels.

CHUCKLES

We were awakened early
in the morning...

..by someone telling us that my
father died the previous evening,

and so I've never known
what it was he wanted to tell me.

I hope it was that maybe he

had a premonition of his death

and wanted to say

how sorry he was for the treatment

that he had meted out to my mother.

And so I...

Yes, I regret that and, um...

It is...it is a burden on my heart
and my spirit,

and I can only hope that, uh...

..he...he will have forgiven me.

CHILDREN SING

We went to the Tibetan Children's
Village for the birthday party.

We wanted to throw a little surprise
party for the Dalai Lama.

Ended up having 2,500 people.

As we arrived, of course,
there were literally

over 1,000 students, all wearing
their Tibetan school uniforms.

I just remember being struck
by the quality of attention

that the children gave.

We are now going to have a brief
question-and-answer session.

Your Holiness,
can joy be the ultimate means

for world peace? Thank you.

Reverend Tutu, how can we achieve
true joy and happiness?

Joy is the reward really

of seeking to give joy to others.

When you are caring, compassionate,

more concerned about the welfare

of others than of your own,

you suddenly feel a warm glow

in your heart because you have,

in fact, wiped the tears

from the eyes of another.

Thank you.

APPLAUSE

MUSIC PLAYS

# We are the world

# We are the children

# We are the ones who make a
brighter day

# So let's start giving

Arch is dancing with this
fantastic sway,

and he's so cool and, you know,

the Dalai Lama is standing there
kind of nervous.

# We are the world...

Now, to be frank, monastics members
are not supposed to dance.

It's actually one of the precepts!
LAUGHS

No singing and no dancing.

# There's a choice we're making

# We're saving our own lives

# It's true we'll make a better day,
just you and me

He was able to persuade His Holiness
to stand up

and at least do some moves!
LAUGHS

# It's true we'll make a better day,
just you and me

# It's true we'll make a better day,
just you and me

# It's true we'll make a better day,
just you and me. #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

The whole week went from being about
gathering wisdom to just getting

to witness them enjoy each other
and crack a lot of jokes.

Wait, wait, wait...

# Happy birthday to you

# Happy birthday to you. #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

CHEERING

LAUGHTER

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

I think my last question for you
both is... Yay!

HE LAUGHS

..I think you might be excited, but
everybody else is sorry

to see this incredible
conversation come to a close.

The last question is about the joy
in your friendship,

and I'm wondering what is it about
your friendship with each other

that allows you to have this kind
of extraordinary joy?

He's always troubling me.

LAUGHTER

I admire him enormously.

Oh, oh, he's going to get proud!

LAUGHTER

I'm just saying he is there for us

as a beacon, and maybe

the Chinese, without intending it,

have given the world
a wonderful gift.

Pay me, pay me, pay me!

LAUGHTER

Yes.

You are mischievous!

THEY LAUGH

Yes, mm.

LAUGHTER

HE CHUCKLES

Thank you.

Our best friendships are friendships
that are really based

in profound respect for one another.

It grows us in ways that we don't
necessarily choose to grow.

At the fundamental level,

every single human
being is exactly the same.

Vulnerable to pain, fear,
unhappiness

and aspiring to be happy,
to seek connection,

to find meaning, to find love.
There is no difference.

It doesn't really matter
where you come from.

That is the fundamental
human condition,

and compassion speaks
to that reality of who we are.

I think there's nothing
more profound than recognising

the joy that is at the heart
of our shared humanity.

And that all the fear and the anger
and the sadness that consumes

so much of our life is actually
to get us back to that joy,

to get us back to one another.

And I think the Dalai Lama and
Desmond Tutu's message

is that we can reconnect
to our humanity

and to one another's humanity.

And that is where we find joy
and happiness

that we can access at any time.

LAUGHTER