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1
00:00:07,137 --> 00:00:09,357
I'm-a order some
chili cheese fries.
2
00:00:09,357 --> 00:00:12,099
- Oh, yeah? Get me some.
- Anybody else want an order?
3
00:00:12,099 --> 00:00:14,014
A delivery of chili cheese fries?
4
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:16,799
They'll be mush by the time
they get here. No way.
5
00:00:16,799 --> 00:00:19,367
Aah! Shit.
6
00:00:19,367 --> 00:00:22,152
What are you doing, man?
You can't hit it that hard.
7
00:00:22,152 --> 00:00:24,154
You got to use more finesse.
8
00:00:24,154 --> 00:00:25,460
Well, finesse isn't
really my style, Charlie.
9
00:00:25,460 --> 00:00:28,071
I like to dominate the table
into submission.
10
00:00:28,071 --> 00:00:30,378
Dennis, I got to head out.
Tip me out.
11
00:00:30,378 --> 00:00:32,423
- What?
- Give me my tips.
12
00:00:32,423 --> 00:00:33,729
What tips, Dee?
What are you talking about?
13
00:00:33,729 --> 00:00:35,644
Hey, any of you guys
tip Dee today?
14
00:00:35,644 --> 00:00:37,211
- For what?
- Hell no.
15
00:00:37,211 --> 00:00:38,864
- No.
- All right, whatever.
16
00:00:38,864 --> 00:00:40,562
Just give me 40 bucks
from the register.
17
00:00:40,562 --> 00:00:42,129
What do you need money for?
18
00:00:42,129 --> 00:00:43,565
I'm going out.
I just need a little cash.
19
00:00:43,565 --> 00:00:45,828
Where you going?
20
00:00:45,828 --> 00:00:49,353
I'm going to a fancy place with
some fancy new friends of mine.
21
00:00:49,353 --> 00:00:51,268
- What friends?
- What is happening?
22
00:00:51,268 --> 00:00:52,878
Why is everyone
asking me questions?
23
00:00:52,878 --> 00:00:54,141
Well, it's 'cause you're
sneaking around trying
24
00:00:54,141 --> 00:00:55,446
to steal money
that you haven't earned
25
00:00:55,446 --> 00:00:57,231
and looking like Carmen Sandiego.
26
00:00:57,231 --> 00:00:59,189
I mean, what-what
are we supposed to think?
27
00:00:59,189 --> 00:01:01,235
- W-What are you hiding, Dee?
- What?
28
00:01:01,235 --> 00:01:02,366
- Let me see what's under that coat.
- No.
29
00:01:02,366 --> 00:01:03,541
- I want to see what's under it.
- No.
30
00:01:03,541 --> 00:01:05,456
- Show me.
- She's hiding something, Dennis.
31
00:01:05,456 --> 00:01:07,336
You want me to hold her down
and rip it off her?
32
00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:11,201
- Yeah. - Go, Mac. Go, go, go.
- Stop it.
33
00:01:11,201 --> 00:01:12,202
- Okay, okay...
- Stop. Stop it. Don't touch me.
34
00:01:12,202 --> 00:01:14,683
Don't touch me. Okay?
35
00:01:14,683 --> 00:01:18,687
I decided that I want
to take off the coat,
36
00:01:18,687 --> 00:01:21,777
'cause it's hot in here.
37
00:01:23,822 --> 00:01:26,173
Bowling? That's the fancy outing
you were, uh, hiding from us?
38
00:01:26,173 --> 00:01:28,392
Dee, why were you hiding
that from us?
39
00:01:28,392 --> 00:01:30,177
Because it's my thing, okay?
It's not your thing,
40
00:01:30,177 --> 00:01:31,874
and I don't want
you guys getting involved.
41
00:01:31,874 --> 00:01:33,919
As if.
42
00:01:33,919 --> 00:01:35,921
- As if, Dee.
- As if.
43
00:01:35,921 --> 00:01:38,185
- As if.
- As if, Dee. As if.
44
00:01:38,185 --> 00:01:39,751
Yeah, okay. All right.
45
00:01:39,751 --> 00:01:42,232
Well, I'm gonna head out.
You guys enjoy sitting around
46
00:01:42,232 --> 00:01:44,669
with your ding-dongs in your
hand doing nothing all night.
47
00:01:44,669 --> 00:01:47,237
Ugh.
48
00:01:47,237 --> 00:01:49,196
- Ding-dongs in our hand...
- What is she talking...
49
00:01:49,196 --> 00:01:50,893
- What a bitch. God.
- Yeah.
50
00:01:50,893 --> 00:01:52,938
My ding-dong wasn't even in
my hand. I mean, what do you...
51
00:01:52,938 --> 00:01:54,331
- Mine was.
- Yeah, so was mine.
52
00:01:54,331 --> 00:01:56,203
Yeah, I was scratching mine
when she said that.
53
00:01:56,203 --> 00:01:57,639
I-I had my hands
fully down my pants,
54
00:01:57,639 --> 00:01:58,901
if I'm being honest.
55
00:01:58,901 --> 00:02:00,468
I had to push it to the left.
56
00:02:00,468 --> 00:02:02,078
- They get itchy in there.
- That's a, such a coincidence.
57
00:02:02,078 --> 00:02:03,514
- That is a lucky guess.
- That's a crazy... yeah.
58
00:02:03,514 --> 00:02:05,516
- It was a lucky guess.
- It was a lucky guess.
59
00:02:05,516 --> 00:02:07,823
But that's not the point.
Look-look, the point is...
60
00:02:07,823 --> 00:02:09,868
...we have
a lot better things to do
61
00:02:09,868 --> 00:02:11,435
than just go bowling.
62
00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:19,074
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63
00:02:34,241 --> 00:02:36,373
Oh, hello, ladies.
You ready to roll?
64
00:02:36,373 --> 00:02:38,288
Why is everybody
sitting on their butts?
65
00:02:38,288 --> 00:02:40,290
We've been waiting here
for 20 minutes.
66
00:02:40,290 --> 00:02:42,336
Okay, well, listen,
things are just gonna be
67
00:02:42,336 --> 00:02:44,338
a little different
if you want me on your team.
68
00:02:44,338 --> 00:02:45,469
I show up when I want.
69
00:02:45,469 --> 00:02:46,731
Well, we don't want you
on our team.
70
00:02:46,731 --> 00:02:47,776
It's just that our fourth
didn't show up
71
00:02:47,776 --> 00:02:49,081
and literally no one else
72
00:02:49,081 --> 00:02:50,300
was free on a Friday night.
73
00:02:50,300 --> 00:02:51,649
- So you want me to be here.
- Not really.
74
00:02:51,649 --> 00:02:53,129
Awesome. Good.
75
00:02:53,129 --> 00:02:54,435
Do you have the $35 team fee?
76
00:02:54,435 --> 00:02:57,133
- Ooh, I do not, but I have...
- Okay.
77
00:02:57,133 --> 00:02:58,917
...something much more valuable:
78
00:02:58,917 --> 00:03:00,354
my expertise.
79
00:03:00,354 --> 00:03:01,920
So listen to me
and you'll be in business.
80
00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:04,096
Anyone want to snort Jell-O shots?
81
00:03:04,096 --> 00:03:05,141
- Oh...
- Snail?
82
00:03:05,141 --> 00:03:06,360
You're on the team?
83
00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:07,535
Yeah, I love bowling.
84
00:03:07,535 --> 00:03:10,364
The whole scene is so hot.
85
00:03:10,364 --> 00:03:11,713
I sucked off a rando
in the parking lot.
86
00:03:11,713 --> 00:03:13,454
Ugh, my mouth hurts.
87
00:03:13,454 --> 00:03:16,413
Gross. Waitress,
you're responsible for this?
88
00:03:16,413 --> 00:03:18,372
I'm not responsible for this,
but this is my team, okay?
89
00:03:18,372 --> 00:03:20,461
So you can't just come in here
and take over,
90
00:03:20,461 --> 00:03:22,463
come in late,
not have your money, okay?
91
00:03:22,463 --> 00:03:26,336
I signed us up, I booked
the lane, I made us shirts.
92
00:03:26,336 --> 00:03:29,121
I even found us an appliance
company to sponsor us.
93
00:03:29,121 --> 00:03:32,299
- Frige-it.
- "Frige-it Bitches"?
94
00:03:32,299 --> 00:03:33,909
- Yeah.
- God, you guys are stupid.
95
00:03:33,909 --> 00:03:35,606
- I'm not wearing this.
- No, it's so funny.
96
00:03:35,606 --> 00:03:37,695
- It's not funny.
- We've been laughing all night.
97
00:03:37,695 --> 00:03:39,175
- That doesn't surprise me. Now listen up.
- Okay...
98
00:03:39,175 --> 00:03:41,351
- We're not here to laugh or be funny.
- No, thank you.
99
00:03:41,351 --> 00:03:42,613
- We're here to win.
- Oh, God.
100
00:03:42,613 --> 00:03:44,311
Which you can do
if you listen to me.
101
00:03:44,311 --> 00:03:47,314
Or perhaps I should let
my balls do the talking.
102
00:03:47,314 --> 00:03:49,272
- Please do.
- Yeah.
103
00:03:58,455 --> 00:04:00,501
Hot shit, Dee.
104
00:04:00,501 --> 00:04:02,024
- Do I have your attention?
- Well, well, well.
105
00:04:02,024 --> 00:04:04,418
- Oh, God.
- What?
106
00:04:04,418 --> 00:04:05,723
Pretty nice roll, Deandra.
107
00:04:05,723 --> 00:04:07,725
Too bad it'll be your last.
108
00:04:07,725 --> 00:04:09,771
Can you please just leave and
let me have one thing to myself?
109
00:04:09,771 --> 00:04:11,425
Nah.
110
00:04:11,425 --> 00:04:13,383
So these, uh, "frigid bitches,"
111
00:04:13,383 --> 00:04:15,080
these are your new
"fancy friends"?
112
00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:17,039
What is this,
some kind of women's league?
113
00:04:17,039 --> 00:04:18,562
It's a coed tournament.
114
00:04:18,562 --> 00:04:21,435
So you'll be
competing against men?
115
00:04:21,435 --> 00:04:24,002
Vaginas and penises
together again.
116
00:04:24,002 --> 00:04:25,482
I'll tell you what,
why don't we join this league
117
00:04:25,482 --> 00:04:27,267
and have ourselves
a little competition?
118
00:04:28,529 --> 00:04:31,183
Or are you too scared
that you'll lose to us?
119
00:04:35,013 --> 00:04:37,407
He did one, so I thought
we were doing... Okay.
120
00:04:37,407 --> 00:04:38,452
Shit.
121
00:04:38,452 --> 00:04:40,018
Anyone got a straw?
122
00:04:40,018 --> 00:04:41,411
- I didn't know. - Okay.
- It's fine. All right.
123
00:04:41,411 --> 00:04:42,811
- Hey! - Hey, guys?
- Let's have it.
124
00:04:43,544 --> 00:04:44,632
- Oh, for Christ's sakes.
- Shit.
125
00:04:44,632 --> 00:04:46,373
- Are you kidding me?
- Please tell me
126
00:04:46,373 --> 00:04:48,200
you guys don't own
this bowling alley.
127
00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:49,550
We got out
of the video rental business
128
00:04:49,550 --> 00:04:51,378
just after the bubble burst.
129
00:04:51,378 --> 00:04:53,205
Bowling's always been
in our blood.
130
00:04:53,205 --> 00:04:54,424
Ryan's got the forearms
131
00:04:54,424 --> 00:04:55,425
of an elephant wrangler.
132
00:04:55,425 --> 00:04:57,079
He could have been pro.
133
00:04:57,079 --> 00:04:58,472
I could have been.
134
00:04:58,472 --> 00:05:00,387
If not for my tragic accident.
135
00:05:00,387 --> 00:05:03,085
The story is too horrible
for words, so don't ask me...
136
00:05:03,085 --> 00:05:04,521
- We-we...
- We're not gonna ask. We don't really care
137
00:05:04,521 --> 00:05:06,088
- about that, yeah.
- You can keep that to yourself.
138
00:05:06,088 --> 00:05:08,873
I'd tell you, but you wouldn't
be able to handle it.
139
00:05:08,873 --> 00:05:11,398
- You clearly want to tell us, but we're not here for it.
- We don't want to hear it.
140
00:05:11,398 --> 00:05:13,400
Listen, I'm moving past this.
Can we sign up for the league?
141
00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:15,837
- Impossible.
- Why, is it too late to sign up?
142
00:05:15,837 --> 00:05:18,579
No, you just couldn't afford it.
143
00:05:18,579 --> 00:05:20,494
- How much is it?
- $35.
144
00:05:20,494 --> 00:05:22,452
- We got that.
- Well, we got that, yeah. That's fine.
145
00:05:22,452 --> 00:05:24,411
Each.
146
00:05:24,411 --> 00:05:27,283
- Uh, do you mind covering us?
- That's still...
147
00:05:27,283 --> 00:05:28,850
W-We're good, we're good, yeah.
148
00:05:28,850 --> 00:05:30,460
Hey, listen, can we play
the Frigid Bitches first?
149
00:05:30,460 --> 00:05:32,027
Sure, whatever.
I don't give a shit.
150
00:05:32,027 --> 00:05:33,724
You guys got
chili cheese fries here?
151
00:05:33,724 --> 00:05:35,160
Franklin, we do have chili
152
00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:36,466
and we do have cheese
and we do have fries,
153
00:05:36,466 --> 00:05:38,816
but combining them
is strictly prohibited.
154
00:05:38,816 --> 00:05:41,341
- Why?
- The story is too terrible to tell.
155
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:42,907
- Oh, for Christ's sake. Nobody cares.
- Oh, Christ's sake.
156
00:05:42,907 --> 00:05:44,518
- Sign us up for the league.
- We won't combine the fries.
157
00:05:44,518 --> 00:05:46,563
Make sure we're playing
the Frigid Bitches.
158
00:05:46,563 --> 00:05:48,565
Yeah, give us some shoes.
W-What size shoe...
159
00:05:48,565 --> 00:05:50,437
- All right, how you doing?
- We'll get the shoes.
160
00:05:50,437 --> 00:05:53,396
Three, two, one and smile.
161
00:05:53,396 --> 00:05:55,137
Great.
162
00:05:55,137 --> 00:05:56,617
- Okay.
- Let me check that picture.
163
00:05:56,617 --> 00:05:57,922
- How's my ass look?
- Okay.
164
00:05:57,922 --> 00:05:59,620
That looks pretty good.
165
00:05:59,620 --> 00:06:01,448
Oh, it looks huge. Sick.
166
00:06:01,448 --> 00:06:03,841
Can we take another? I wasn't
sufficiently in character.
167
00:06:03,841 --> 00:06:05,713
- In character?
- Yes, character.
168
00:06:05,713 --> 00:06:07,454
I'm researching
a character I'm playing
169
00:06:07,454 --> 00:06:10,413
named Donna Brunswick of
the Brunswick Bowling Dynasty.
170
00:06:10,413 --> 00:06:12,676
Oh, goddamn. You guys are not
taking this seriously.
171
00:06:12,676 --> 00:06:14,156
Okay? Let's cut the BS.
172
00:06:14,156 --> 00:06:15,766
As your leader,
I demand we cut the BS.
173
00:06:15,766 --> 00:06:17,072
Now let's talk order.
174
00:06:17,072 --> 00:06:19,466
I'm thinking Snail, Artemis,
175
00:06:19,466 --> 00:06:21,555
- Waitress, best for last.
- Okay, I'm just gonna remind you
176
00:06:21,555 --> 00:06:23,774
that you're not the leader
and you can't be the leader
177
00:06:23,774 --> 00:06:25,385
'cause you don't even know
everyone's names.
178
00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:27,517
Mm, can you switch mine
to "Donna"?
179
00:06:27,517 --> 00:06:29,476
- No.
- Well, well, well. Looks like
180
00:06:29,476 --> 00:06:33,218
the Frigid Bitches are going up
against the Hanging Monster Dong
181
00:06:33,218 --> 00:06:36,352
Lucky Strike Chili Cheese Fryers.
182
00:06:36,352 --> 00:06:37,832
Is that your name?
That's really stupid.
183
00:06:37,832 --> 00:06:38,963
- It's too many ideas, man.
- I told you it was stupid.
184
00:06:38,963 --> 00:06:40,487
I-I knew they were gonna
make fun of us
185
00:06:40,487 --> 00:06:42,924
- and they did make fun of us.
- Yeah, 'cause it's stupid.
186
00:06:42,924 --> 00:06:44,578
You know what?
Uh, but it doesn't matter,
187
00:06:44,578 --> 00:06:45,970
'cause you guys are dead meat.
188
00:06:45,970 --> 00:06:48,973
Hey, did Dee happen
to tell you the history
189
00:06:48,973 --> 00:06:50,584
of her experience with bowling?
190
00:06:50,584 --> 00:06:53,195
- No.
- You should tell them, you should tell them.
191
00:06:53,195 --> 00:06:55,545
- You tell them, you tell them.
- Tell them, tell them. - I-I was about to.
192
00:06:55,545 --> 00:06:57,547
- I don't know. - Oh, you were?
- I was about to. Yes.
193
00:06:57,547 --> 00:06:59,810
- Are we doing the laugh?
- He's gonna tell you.
194
00:06:59,810 --> 00:07:01,508
- Are we doing laughs?
- Yeah, uh, no. I'll just tell it.
195
00:07:01,508 --> 00:07:03,771
- He's gonna tell you.
- Okay, well, when she was a kid,
196
00:07:03,771 --> 00:07:06,426
she was, well,
she was pretty decent.
197
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:08,558
And I got to say, she worked
really, really hard at it.
198
00:07:08,558 --> 00:07:12,257
So, she eventually became
the captain of the girls' team.
199
00:07:12,257 --> 00:07:13,520
Can you believe that?
200
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:16,044
Now, I'm no fan of women's sports.
201
00:07:16,044 --> 00:07:18,002
- Who is? - Yeah, they're not very popular.
- Nobody is.
202
00:07:18,002 --> 00:07:19,526
Nobody watches...
Especially women.
203
00:07:19,526 --> 00:07:20,527
Women don't even like
women's sports.
204
00:07:20,527 --> 00:07:22,529
So I wouldn't have it.
205
00:07:22,529 --> 00:07:25,532
And to prove
that Dee's female mind
206
00:07:25,532 --> 00:07:27,055
was mentally weak,
207
00:07:27,055 --> 00:07:29,057
I started to go watch her,
208
00:07:29,057 --> 00:07:32,408
and I would say, "gutter ball"
209
00:07:32,408 --> 00:07:35,759
right before she rolled it,
and wouldn't you know it,
210
00:07:35,759 --> 00:07:38,632
every time I said it,
211
00:07:38,632 --> 00:07:41,504
she'd roll a gutter ball.
212
00:07:41,504 --> 00:07:43,245
Since then,
213
00:07:43,245 --> 00:07:45,813
if I even so much as
look at Dee when she bowls,
214
00:07:45,813 --> 00:07:48,250
she can't knock down a single pin.
215
00:07:48,250 --> 00:07:51,514
Not even one.
216
00:07:53,995 --> 00:07:56,214
Well, that's
a bit of an exaggeration.
217
00:07:56,214 --> 00:07:57,781
Anyway, good luck out there.
218
00:07:57,781 --> 00:08:00,044
- Mm.
- Ladies.
219
00:08:00,044 --> 00:08:02,046
Gentlemen.
220
00:08:02,046 --> 00:08:02,960
- That was so good.
- That was really good.
221
00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:04,120
That was really good, Dennis.
222
00:08:07,051 --> 00:08:08,618
All right, I'm looking at
their lineup and I'm wondering
223
00:08:08,618 --> 00:08:09,793
who should lead us off
against Snail.
224
00:08:09,793 --> 00:08:11,273
I'll start. It'll be good
225
00:08:11,273 --> 00:08:13,101
to show our power and dominance,
you know,
226
00:08:13,101 --> 00:08:14,581
- for intimidation.
- Uh, Frank?
227
00:08:14,581 --> 00:08:16,583
You should go against Artemis.
She's next.
228
00:08:16,583 --> 00:08:18,280
Okay? And-and you should
go up after that, 'cause it's
229
00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:19,890
The Waitress, and you're
gonna irritate the shit
230
00:08:19,890 --> 00:08:21,109
- out of her and that-that's a good thing, okay?
- Yeah.
231
00:08:21,109 --> 00:08:22,632
Oh, shit.
232
00:08:22,632 --> 00:08:24,591
- What?
- Uh...
233
00:08:24,591 --> 00:08:26,027
Some kid's having, like,
a birthday party in the arcade
234
00:08:26,027 --> 00:08:27,855
- or something.
- Okay. So what?
235
00:08:27,855 --> 00:08:30,335
- It looks fun.
- Charlie, do not be that guy
236
00:08:30,335 --> 00:08:31,859
that everyone's looking for
when it's their turn.
237
00:08:31,859 --> 00:08:33,469
- Oh, yeah. Yeah.
- That shit drives me crazy.
238
00:08:33,469 --> 00:08:35,210
- Please don't be that guy.
- Yeah. Yeah.
239
00:08:35,210 --> 00:08:36,907
Okay, I'll go last against Dee
because it's gonna be
240
00:08:36,907 --> 00:08:38,866
a lot of fun getting
in her head, so...
241
00:08:38,866 --> 00:08:40,650
It's gonna really mess her up.
It's gonna be awesome.
242
00:08:40,650 --> 00:08:42,870
All right. Hands in, boys.
Say it on three.
243
00:08:42,870 --> 00:08:44,915
- Hanging Monster Ch...
- Now I'm forgetting it.
244
00:08:44,915 --> 00:08:46,569
Chili Cheese Fryers!
245
00:08:46,569 --> 00:08:48,369
- Cheese fries. Yeah.
- Oh, now I should go...
246
00:08:50,660 --> 00:08:52,488
Let's do it, bud.
247
00:08:52,488 --> 00:08:53,707
Let's go, man.
248
00:08:53,707 --> 00:08:56,579
Stride, stride, stride, execute.
249
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:01,584
- Okay, not bad, not bad, Mac.
- Not bad.
250
00:09:01,584 --> 00:09:02,890
Not bad, dude.
251
00:09:02,890 --> 00:09:03,717
Come on, Snail.
252
00:09:03,717 --> 00:09:04,718
What the...
253
00:09:04,718 --> 00:09:06,458
What? What?
254
00:09:06,458 --> 00:09:07,459
Okay,
255
00:09:07,459 --> 00:09:08,678
why are you so happy right now?
256
00:09:08,678 --> 00:09:10,114
Gail. What the hell was that?
257
00:09:10,114 --> 00:09:12,508
- Ooh, my cooter's on fire for Mac.
- Ew.
258
00:09:12,508 --> 00:09:14,554
I want to have his baby.
259
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,686
Your cooter is most likely
on fire from a yeast infection.
260
00:09:16,686 --> 00:09:18,862
Go in the bathroom, rinse it out
and be better next time.
261
00:09:18,862 --> 00:09:21,735
Dennis, cover me. Cover me.
262
00:09:21,735 --> 00:09:25,042
Ryan's eyeballing me
and I'm trying to mix these.
263
00:09:25,042 --> 00:09:26,304
- I can't do that right now.
- What? Just go, go...
264
00:09:26,304 --> 00:09:27,610
- No, I got...
- Go stand over here.
265
00:09:27,610 --> 00:09:29,612
I got Liam over here
eyeballing me.
266
00:09:29,612 --> 00:09:31,745
I mean, I...
267
00:09:31,745 --> 00:09:33,825
I think he is. Little hard
to tell with the eyepatch.
268
00:09:35,313 --> 00:09:36,358
Ah. Anyway, it's your,
it's your roll, man.
269
00:09:36,358 --> 00:09:37,838
- Go, go, go. Go, yeah.
- Oh. I'm up?
270
00:09:37,838 --> 00:09:38,969
- Yes, you're up.
- Up.
271
00:09:41,755 --> 00:09:44,540
- Artemis.
- Frank.
272
00:09:44,540 --> 00:09:46,977
How about we, uh,
test out the back seat
273
00:09:46,977 --> 00:09:49,763
of my LeBaron after the roll?
274
00:09:49,763 --> 00:09:51,765
Everybody stop trying
to have sex with each other.
275
00:09:51,765 --> 00:09:52,853
Hey, you know, another reason why
276
00:09:52,853 --> 00:09:53,767
men and women can't compete, Dee.
277
00:09:53,767 --> 00:09:55,159
It's too sexually charged.
278
00:09:55,159 --> 00:09:56,683
Come on.
279
00:09:56,683 --> 00:09:58,162
- All right.
- Donna Brunswick...
280
00:10:03,559 --> 00:10:04,734
Strike.
281
00:10:04,734 --> 00:10:06,606
- Oh!
- Hey!
282
00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:07,955
Nice.
283
00:10:07,955 --> 00:10:10,435
- Artemis, you can bowl?
- No.
284
00:10:10,435 --> 00:10:13,221
My character can.
Me, I can't bowl for shit.
285
00:10:13,221 --> 00:10:15,049
Oh.
286
00:10:18,356 --> 00:10:19,662
Oh, my God.
287
00:10:24,754 --> 00:10:25,929
It's not gonna make it.
288
00:10:32,588 --> 00:10:33,589
Strike.
289
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:35,983
- Oh, ho.
- Oh.
290
00:10:35,983 --> 00:10:36,723
All right, Frank.
291
00:10:36,723 --> 00:10:38,681
Good job, Frank.
292
00:10:38,681 --> 00:10:40,596
- All right, Frank.
- What? Oh, bullshit.
293
00:10:40,596 --> 00:10:41,945
No, come on, that doesn't count.
294
00:10:41,945 --> 00:10:43,251
Uh, no, the computer counted it,
so it counts.
295
00:10:43,251 --> 00:10:45,557
- That counts.
- Hey, Artemis, let's mush.
296
00:10:45,557 --> 00:10:47,472
What? No. No. You're not gonna
miss your turn, okay?
297
00:10:47,472 --> 00:10:48,952
If you must mush, mush later.
298
00:10:48,952 --> 00:10:49,953
A quickie.
299
00:10:49,953 --> 00:10:52,390
- Quickie it is.
- What?
300
00:10:52,390 --> 00:10:54,436
My character is also
a giant whore, which is what
301
00:10:54,436 --> 00:10:55,959
attracted me to the role
in the first place, so...
302
00:10:55,959 --> 00:10:57,700
- No. No, no.
- Come on, you can't go now.
303
00:10:57,700 --> 00:10:59,615
Well, mush fast!
304
00:11:02,052 --> 00:11:03,401
- Come on.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
305
00:11:03,401 --> 00:11:04,620
I'm going, I'm going. Oh!
306
00:11:04,620 --> 00:11:06,840
Hey, Tyrone, do not take my spot!
307
00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:09,799
Do not take my spot
at the air hockey table.
308
00:11:09,799 --> 00:11:11,583
- Charlie, shut up.
- You should see the party they got going there.
309
00:11:11,583 --> 00:11:12,802
- It's great. They got one of those...
- I don't care.
310
00:11:12,802 --> 00:11:14,499
...punching machines
that rates how, like,
311
00:11:14,499 --> 00:11:15,936
- how much power you have in your punch.
- I don't care.
312
00:11:15,936 --> 00:11:17,024
- Shut up, I'm trying to focus.
- It's totally crazy.
313
00:11:17,024 --> 00:11:18,373
By the way, your hair looks great.
314
00:11:18,373 --> 00:11:20,244
Charlie, shut up,
I'm trying to focus.
315
00:11:20,244 --> 00:11:22,029
- Did you, like, change your hair or something?
- Oh, my God.
316
00:11:22,029 --> 00:11:23,987
Elbow in, slight bend in the knee,
317
00:11:23,987 --> 00:11:25,728
- and...
- What the...
318
00:11:25,728 --> 00:11:27,251
Oh...
319
00:11:27,251 --> 00:11:28,513
- God!
- Tyrone!
320
00:11:29,906 --> 00:11:31,603
All right. I'm coming!
321
00:11:31,603 --> 00:11:32,996
- Charlie, Charlie, where you going?
- Where you going?
322
00:11:32,996 --> 00:11:34,737
- Put the cake down...
- I'll be back.
323
00:11:36,783 --> 00:11:38,828
- Dee, you want to go first?
- Don't... Stop it.
324
00:11:38,828 --> 00:11:40,525
- I know what you're doing.
- I'm not gonna say anything.
325
00:11:40,525 --> 00:11:41,831
I swear to God.
Please, I insist.
326
00:11:41,831 --> 00:11:43,790
I'm not.
327
00:11:43,790 --> 00:11:46,096
- Fine.
- All right. Come on, Dee.
328
00:11:48,359 --> 00:11:49,665
Gutter ball.
329
00:11:49,665 --> 00:11:51,841
You-you dick.
330
00:11:51,841 --> 00:11:53,495
- Sorry. I'm sorry.
- That's not funny.
331
00:11:53,495 --> 00:11:55,802
I couldn't resist.
It's... Sorry.
332
00:12:02,678 --> 00:12:03,897
Strike.
333
00:12:04,854 --> 00:12:06,769
Don't say it again.
334
00:12:06,769 --> 00:12:09,772
- Okay? Just leave me alone.
- I'm not. I just... I'm not.
335
00:12:09,772 --> 00:12:10,817
Gutter ball.
336
00:12:10,817 --> 00:12:13,471
You goddamned son of a bitch!
337
00:12:14,821 --> 00:12:16,866
How are you gonna talk to me
about form
338
00:12:16,866 --> 00:12:19,521
- after you bowl like that?
- Get off my back, you frigid bitch.
339
00:12:19,521 --> 00:12:21,131
I knew inviting you
was a bad idea.
340
00:12:21,131 --> 00:12:22,567
Well, then, don't invite me.
Then don't invite me next time.
341
00:12:22,567 --> 00:12:24,221
I didn't invite...
342
00:12:24,221 --> 00:12:26,920
Oh, isn't this fun?
343
00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:30,271
Yeah. Yet another reason why
women can't compete with men.
344
00:12:30,271 --> 00:12:32,142
Besides your physical limitations,
345
00:12:32,142 --> 00:12:34,275
if given the opportunity
to either work together
346
00:12:34,275 --> 00:12:37,321
as a team
or tear each other apart,
347
00:12:37,321 --> 00:12:39,323
you will always choose the latter.
348
00:12:39,323 --> 00:12:41,543
Because women are
349
00:12:41,543 --> 00:12:44,328
devious a-and destructive
350
00:12:44,328 --> 00:12:47,244
and will always default
to using their insidious venom
351
00:12:47,244 --> 00:12:49,377
on the most sought-after
victim of all...
352
00:12:50,857 --> 00:12:52,684
...each other.
353
00:12:56,993 --> 00:12:58,908
Okay, Dennis is right.
Just hear me out.
354
00:12:58,908 --> 00:13:01,258
If we want to win,
we can't compete like men,
355
00:13:01,258 --> 00:13:03,608
but what we can do
is use those skills
356
00:13:03,608 --> 00:13:05,959
of mental manipulation
against them.
357
00:13:05,959 --> 00:13:07,308
Do you want to know why?
358
00:13:07,308 --> 00:13:08,570
Why?
359
00:13:08,570 --> 00:13:11,616
Because... they're stupid.
360
00:13:15,011 --> 00:13:17,622
Hey, Mac, how come
you throw the ball so straight?
361
00:13:17,622 --> 00:13:19,929
I throw the ball straight
because, as a man,
362
00:13:19,929 --> 00:13:22,062
dominance is my sporting style.
363
00:13:22,062 --> 00:13:24,978
Uh, I heard it's 'cause
you have no finesse.
364
00:13:24,978 --> 00:13:27,632
- You don't know how to spin the ball.
- What?
365
00:13:27,632 --> 00:13:28,938
- Yeah.
- I have finesse. I could spin the ball.
366
00:13:28,938 --> 00:13:30,287
- You want to see me?
- Yeah.
367
00:13:30,287 --> 00:13:31,723
- Yeah...
- Hey, uh, Mac? Mac?
368
00:13:31,723 --> 00:13:32,899
Can I talk to you for a second?
369
00:13:32,899 --> 00:13:33,900
Yeah.
370
00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:36,424
Do not try and spin the ball.
371
00:13:36,424 --> 00:13:38,861
She said that I can't spin,
and I can spin.
372
00:13:38,861 --> 00:13:40,428
- You... Do not try it.
- But Dennis, she said I have no finesse,
373
00:13:40,428 --> 00:13:42,082
- and you know that I have finesse.
- Don't-don't do it.
374
00:13:42,082 --> 00:13:43,083
- Don't do it. Just play your game.
- Can I just spin one?
375
00:13:43,083 --> 00:13:43,997
- I don't care...
- Let me spin one.
376
00:13:43,997 --> 00:13:45,520
You don't need to spin it.
377
00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:46,956
You just play your game
and we're gonna win.
378
00:13:46,956 --> 00:13:48,218
Okay? Do not spin it.
379
00:13:48,218 --> 00:13:49,437
Do not do it.
380
00:13:51,613 --> 00:13:53,093
Okay, fine.
381
00:13:53,093 --> 00:13:54,964
I won't, I won't spin it.
382
00:13:56,009 --> 00:13:57,401
I won't.
383
00:14:01,101 --> 00:14:02,667
Stride, stride, stride, spin!
384
00:14:04,278 --> 00:14:05,583
Oh, goddamn it!
385
00:14:05,583 --> 00:14:07,629
- Gutter ball.
- Uh-oh.
386
00:14:07,629 --> 00:14:08,978
- I'm gonna try it again.
- I'm coming, I'm coming.
387
00:14:08,978 --> 00:14:09,979
Wait, I'm coming, I'm coming.
388
00:14:09,979 --> 00:14:12,068
Hey, Tyrone, double or nothing!
389
00:14:12,068 --> 00:14:13,026
'Cause there's no way
you're beating me
390
00:14:13,026 --> 00:14:14,331
two out of three, dude!
391
00:14:14,331 --> 00:14:16,333
Hey, Charlie? Excuse me.
392
00:14:16,333 --> 00:14:18,031
Can I, can I ask your advice
on something?
393
00:14:18,031 --> 00:14:20,381
- Yeah.
- Well, you're just such a good natural bowler...
394
00:14:20,381 --> 00:14:21,338
- Yeah.
- ...and I'm having a hard time, so I was wondering,
395
00:14:21,338 --> 00:14:23,340
where are you putting your elbow
396
00:14:23,340 --> 00:14:25,081
- when you're rolling?
- My elbow?
397
00:14:25,081 --> 00:14:26,604
Yeah, before you throw the ball,
where is your elbow going?
398
00:14:26,604 --> 00:14:28,606
You-you want me to show you
where my elbow goes?
399
00:14:28,606 --> 00:14:30,782
- Yeah.
- Oh, I'm...
400
00:14:30,782 --> 00:14:32,697
- My-my elbow's like...
- Uh-huh.
401
00:14:32,697 --> 00:14:34,612
That looks good.
402
00:14:35,526 --> 00:14:36,919
Oh.
403
00:14:36,919 --> 00:14:38,268
Gutter ball.
404
00:14:38,268 --> 00:14:39,574
Uh...
405
00:14:39,574 --> 00:14:41,228
Holy shit. It's working.
406
00:14:46,015 --> 00:14:47,495
- There we go.
- Okay.
407
00:14:47,495 --> 00:14:48,975
Okay. It's okay.
408
00:14:48,975 --> 00:14:50,237
Damn it!
409
00:14:50,237 --> 00:14:52,500
- Just walk.
- What are you doing?
410
00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:55,068
Stride, stride, stride, spin!
Come on!
411
00:14:55,068 --> 00:14:57,635
- Gutter ball.
- S-Stop it.
412
00:14:57,635 --> 00:14:59,072
Gutter ball.
413
00:14:59,072 --> 00:15:00,987
Gutter ball.
414
00:15:00,987 --> 00:15:02,118
- Gutter ball.
- Come on.
415
00:15:03,119 --> 00:15:04,381
Gutter ball.
416
00:15:04,381 --> 00:15:06,296
Gutter ball.
417
00:15:15,653 --> 00:15:17,003
You want one?
418
00:15:27,013 --> 00:15:28,928
Wh... Hey!
419
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:29,841
What happened?
420
00:15:29,841 --> 00:15:31,626
What the hell happened?
421
00:15:31,626 --> 00:15:33,976
In the third act of my play,
Donna rolls a gutter ball
422
00:15:33,976 --> 00:15:36,109
in the big match
against her rival high school.
423
00:15:36,109 --> 00:15:38,154
- Are you serious?
- Oh, my God.
424
00:15:38,154 --> 00:15:39,834
Can you knock it off
with the play, please?
425
00:15:46,597 --> 00:15:49,687
Ah, well, well,
you done good, ladies.
426
00:15:49,687 --> 00:15:51,994
Your little mind games...
they got you pretty far,
427
00:15:51,994 --> 00:15:54,779
but unfortunately...
428
00:15:54,779 --> 00:15:57,434
...still 11 points shy
in the final frame.
429
00:15:57,434 --> 00:16:00,263
Now, technically,
I could pick up this spare
430
00:16:00,263 --> 00:16:02,526
and push the lead
even further, and I...
431
00:16:02,526 --> 00:16:04,659
think we all know Dee's about
to roll two gutter balls.
432
00:16:04,659 --> 00:16:06,791
So I'll tell you what.
Dee, if you would like,
433
00:16:06,791 --> 00:16:09,490
uh, you could just quit now
434
00:16:09,490 --> 00:16:11,927
and you could all admit
that you're inferior
435
00:16:11,927 --> 00:16:14,016
in every single way,
436
00:16:14,016 --> 00:16:15,496
and we could just call it a night.
437
00:16:15,496 --> 00:16:17,193
Okay, you know what, dick?
438
00:16:17,193 --> 00:16:20,022
I don't like your sister.
She's a terrible person.
439
00:16:20,022 --> 00:16:21,458
She's a bitch and she's ugly
440
00:16:21,458 --> 00:16:22,807
and I didn't want her on the team.
441
00:16:22,807 --> 00:16:24,113
And she's gross.
442
00:16:24,113 --> 00:16:25,767
Sure, and she's gross.
443
00:16:25,767 --> 00:16:28,030
But you know what?
You're even worse.
444
00:16:28,030 --> 00:16:29,379
And I am not gonna sit here
445
00:16:29,379 --> 00:16:31,077
and let you just shit on her
all night long.
446
00:16:31,077 --> 00:16:34,036
You think
you're physically superior?
447
00:16:34,036 --> 00:16:37,300
- Yeah.
- Then I challenge you to a test of strength.
448
00:16:37,300 --> 00:16:38,780
Come on.
449
00:16:38,780 --> 00:16:40,216
This isn't fair.
450
00:16:40,216 --> 00:16:41,783
Oh. Is it not fair?
451
00:16:41,783 --> 00:16:44,046
Okay, well, if you're scared,
we don't have to do it.
452
00:16:44,046 --> 00:16:46,222
Okay, well, listen,
if you insist, that's fine.
453
00:16:46,222 --> 00:16:47,832
- I do. Okay.
- Let's do it. Yeah.
454
00:16:47,832 --> 00:16:49,138
Ladies first.
455
00:16:49,138 --> 00:16:51,010
- All right, let's do it.
- Oh, thank you.
456
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:52,228
Go, Waitress, go.
457
00:16:52,228 --> 00:16:54,013
- Let's go.
- Give it all you got.
458
00:16:55,536 --> 00:16:57,277
Oh!
459
00:16:58,756 --> 00:17:00,845
Shit.
460
00:17:00,845 --> 00:17:02,847
- Didn't know you could kick it.
- Oh, yeah, you could kick it.
461
00:17:02,847 --> 00:17:04,936
- And that's fine. Okay.
- Yeah, yeah, okay. Do it.
462
00:17:04,936 --> 00:17:06,416
Show them what you got, Dennis.
Come on.
463
00:17:06,416 --> 00:17:09,245
Let's go, buddy.
464
00:17:09,245 --> 00:17:12,074
I summon the very fact
that I am a man!
465
00:17:19,081 --> 00:17:22,302
Aah! Aah...
466
00:17:22,302 --> 00:17:23,868
I have defeated you.
467
00:17:23,868 --> 00:17:25,218
And of course I have.
468
00:17:25,218 --> 00:17:27,742
I've been blessed
with the genetic gifts to do so.
469
00:17:31,876 --> 00:17:34,140
I've broken
every single bone in my hand.
470
00:17:34,140 --> 00:17:35,967
I cannot bowl.
471
00:17:35,967 --> 00:17:37,578
- What? - Really?
- L-Listen to me.
472
00:17:37,578 --> 00:17:38,840
There's nothing solid
left in there.
473
00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:41,625
It's just bloody soup
and bone broth.
474
00:17:41,625 --> 00:17:43,149
All right?
Now, I need to scream.
475
00:17:43,149 --> 00:17:44,367
And I need you to find me
somewhere to scream
476
00:17:44,367 --> 00:17:46,108
so I don't have to do it here.
477
00:17:46,108 --> 00:17:48,154
No, wait a minute.
478
00:17:48,154 --> 00:17:50,199
I'm going to scream here, and now,
479
00:17:50,199 --> 00:17:51,799
'cause I can't hold it in,
so here we go.
480
00:17:53,942 --> 00:17:55,378
? Oh, yes... ?
481
00:17:55,378 --> 00:17:58,077
Ryan, I need you to bowl for me.
482
00:17:58,077 --> 00:17:59,382
I'll never bowl again.
483
00:17:59,382 --> 00:18:00,992
- Come on, man.
- Why not? What's the big deal?
484
00:18:00,992 --> 00:18:04,126
The story's too horrible to tell.
485
00:18:04,126 --> 00:18:05,301
- Oh, with this stuff.
- For fuck's sake, just spit it out.
486
00:18:05,301 --> 00:18:07,129
Yeah, you clearly want
to tell it, man.
487
00:18:07,129 --> 00:18:08,783
Fine.
488
00:18:08,783 --> 00:18:10,132
But brace yourself.
489
00:18:10,132 --> 00:18:12,178
There I was,
490
00:18:12,178 --> 00:18:14,005
practicing for
the state semifinals.
491
00:18:17,748 --> 00:18:19,228
I was on my way to a perfect game.
492
00:18:23,537 --> 00:18:26,279
I was enjoying
some chili cheese fries.
493
00:18:26,279 --> 00:18:28,803
They were delicious,
and I offered some to Ryan.
494
00:18:28,803 --> 00:18:31,066
I accepted, but not realizing
495
00:18:31,066 --> 00:18:33,286
my other hand was
in the ball return lane.
496
00:18:33,286 --> 00:18:35,636
I never should have allowed
myself such indulgences,
497
00:18:35,636 --> 00:18:37,290
because little did I know,
498
00:18:37,290 --> 00:18:39,814
my ball was returning.
499
00:18:46,908 --> 00:18:49,128
It pinched it really bad.
500
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:51,260
I had a nasty bruise for a week.
501
00:18:51,260 --> 00:18:52,653
- That's it?
- That's why you won't bowl?
502
00:18:52,653 --> 00:18:53,915
- You pinched your finger?
- You pinched your finger
503
00:18:53,915 --> 00:18:55,090
- and you won't bowl?
- Big deal, man.
504
00:18:55,090 --> 00:18:57,048
I'll bowl for you... Dennis.
505
00:18:57,048 --> 00:18:58,441
- Okay, fine. - Okay.
- Wait, what's happening?
506
00:18:58,441 --> 00:18:59,747
What-what are you saying? What?
507
00:18:59,747 --> 00:19:00,835
- Hmm?
- Well, he...
508
00:19:00,835 --> 00:19:02,053
- Nothing.
- What?
509
00:19:02,053 --> 00:19:03,229
- N-Nothing.
- What's going on?
510
00:19:03,229 --> 00:19:05,622
Liam's gonna bowl for me
511
00:19:05,622 --> 00:19:07,711
because I hurt my hand
a little bit.
512
00:19:07,711 --> 00:19:09,496
O-Ow!
513
00:19:09,496 --> 00:19:11,498
Ow, I just,
I just twisted my ankle.
514
00:19:11,498 --> 00:19:12,847
- No.
- Yeah, and I need Ryan,
515
00:19:12,847 --> 00:19:14,283
I need Ryan to bowl for me.
516
00:19:14,283 --> 00:19:15,502
- No way. No way.
- My ankle is hurt,
517
00:19:15,502 --> 00:19:17,068
and I need Ryan to bowl for me.
518
00:19:17,068 --> 00:19:18,331
- That...
- That is bullshit.
519
00:19:22,509 --> 00:19:24,989
This is incredibly weird.
520
00:19:44,748 --> 00:19:46,794
Ryan!
521
00:19:46,794 --> 00:19:49,013
Brother!
Brother, what have I done?
522
00:19:51,929 --> 00:19:53,540
No!
523
00:19:56,325 --> 00:19:57,283
What the...
524
00:20:03,811 --> 00:20:05,291
Well, well, well, Dee,
it looks like
525
00:20:05,291 --> 00:20:06,727
you're gonna have
to roll after all.
526
00:20:06,727 --> 00:20:09,512
Fine. No problem.
527
00:20:09,512 --> 00:20:11,819
Gonna make my team proud.
528
00:20:11,819 --> 00:20:13,299
Oh, well, maybe you will.
529
00:20:13,299 --> 00:20:15,039
Or maybe...
530
00:20:15,039 --> 00:20:16,345
you'll roll a gutter ball.
531
00:20:21,785 --> 00:20:24,484
One pin. That's all.
532
00:20:24,484 --> 00:20:26,225
You can do this.
533
00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:28,531
- Gutter ball.
- No. No.
534
00:20:28,531 --> 00:20:30,490
Just don't think "gutter ball,"
that's all.
535
00:20:33,275 --> 00:20:34,537
Oh, hi, Dee.
536
00:20:34,537 --> 00:20:36,844
I'm in here, too.
537
00:20:36,844 --> 00:20:38,237
Gutter ball.
538
00:20:40,369 --> 00:20:44,112
- Gutter ball. Gutter ball.
- Gutter ball. Gutter ball.
539
00:20:45,548 --> 00:20:47,507
You goddamned son of a...
540
00:20:47,507 --> 00:20:49,465
bitch!
541
00:20:57,212 --> 00:20:58,387
Gutter ball.
542
00:21:08,919 --> 00:21:11,226
- Oh.
- No, no...
543
00:21:12,923 --> 00:21:14,621
- No, no, no...
- No, no...
544
00:21:14,621 --> 00:21:16,710
No, no, no, no...
545
00:21:22,672 --> 00:21:25,458
I did it! In your faces.
546
00:21:25,458 --> 00:21:27,764
Ha... Uh... What's going on?
547
00:21:27,764 --> 00:21:30,376
- Where'd everybody go?
- Frank's having a threesome
548
00:21:30,376 --> 00:21:32,421
in the bathroom
with Gail and Artemis,
549
00:21:32,421 --> 00:21:35,381
and, um, yeah, I think the guys
went to the Sixers game.
550
00:21:35,381 --> 00:21:37,383
What?
551
00:21:37,383 --> 00:21:38,427
Oh, goddamn it.
552
00:21:39,689 --> 00:21:41,343
Well, why aren't you celebrating?
553
00:21:41,343 --> 00:21:42,649
Um...
554
00:21:42,649 --> 00:21:45,347
yeah, honestly?
555
00:21:45,347 --> 00:21:48,045
I don't give a shit
about women's sports.
556
00:21:48,045 --> 00:21:50,134
Well...
557
00:21:51,305 --> 00:22:51,660
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558
00:22:51,710 --> 00:22:56,260
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