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- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
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Hey, bud, careful.
The janitor just waxed.
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Remember, if the floor is shiny,
you can fall on your heinie.
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- Thanks, Tina.
- TINA: Yeah, that's me,
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Tina Belcher, ordinary eighth grader.
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That's probably what
makes me good at my job.
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I walk the beat as a hall
monitor here at Wagstaff,
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but I was about to discover
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that sometimes you walk the beat,
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and sometimes the beat walks you.
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_
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No. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No.
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TINA: I bet you're wondering who she is,
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and how a girl like me got
mixed up with a dame like that.
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Her name is Holly Monitors,
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00:00:51,926 --> 00:00:53,959
and she was supposed
to be my little secret.
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But I'm getting ahead of myself.
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Let me tell you how this all began.
19
00:00:57,396 --> 00:00:58,874
It was just like any other day.
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Like I said, I'm a hall monitor,
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but it's not the halls
that need monitoring,
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00:01:03,282 --> 00:01:04,425
it's the people in them.
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Someone's always chewing gum.
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Oh, man, there's still some
flavor in there. Come on.
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TINA: I may seem like a
party pooper, but it's better
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if I'm pooping at their
party than a teacher.
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Teachers give out detention,
I give out attention.
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A new piece, for the end of the day.
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- Ooh, cinnamon. Fancy.
- Now scram.
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And sometimes it's hard to
be on the good side of the law
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with the two scamps in my family.
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They were always up to something.
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But I lived with them,
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so I had to live with myself.
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Still, something was
different that week.
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I had a feeling I hadn't felt
since the fidget spinner craze.
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Or that other craze
where everyone was eating
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those spicy dusty chips and throwing up.
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Hey, hey, no running.
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Stop running, slow down.
Huh.
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Whatever it was,
I was sure it would go
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as quickly as it came. Besides,
I had other things to focus on.
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Big things.
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Like the big banner the hall monitors
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were working on for the open house.
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Sure, being a hall
monitor is not as exciting
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as the drama club or dance club
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- or jazz choir...
- ♪ Do-bee, do-bee, do-wah. ♪
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... but it's my life.
This open house would be
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the hall monitors' biggest day yet,
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working security as parents
and the superintendent
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00:02:03,066 --> 00:02:05,809
- came to experience a...
- Full day of Wag.
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Not some phony two-hour evening event.
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I'm talking about a full day,
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living and breathing the real deal.
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You will be helping to
welcome all of the parents
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00:02:14,761 --> 00:02:17,095
and the superintendent to the upcoming
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"Walk on into Wagstaff" open house.
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From the opening assembly...
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TINA: He needed it to go perfectly,
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because if it did, the superintendent
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would pay for Frond to go to...
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Counsel Your Butt Off, a
weekend seminar in Sarasota
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for life changers and
emotion re-arrangers.
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So, this week, I'm counting on you
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00:02:35,782 --> 00:02:39,053
to stop the hooligans
before they hool again.
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Now get out there and monitor.
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00:02:41,195 --> 00:02:44,044
Tina, can I, uh, talk
to you for a moment?
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- Sure, what's up?
- Uh, not here. My office.
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There's a favor I need to ask you, Tina.
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You're my most experienced hall monitor.
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You're good at what you
do. You have a light touch.
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00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:55,880
- The kids seem to like you.
- Thank you.
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00:02:55,905 --> 00:02:57,383
- I mean, in their way.
- Oh.
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00:02:57,408 --> 00:02:58,849
The thing is, I have a feeling
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00:02:58,874 --> 00:03:01,277
that there's something going on.
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Kids are distracted,
whispery. Test scores are down.
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00:03:03,735 --> 00:03:06,007
Art supplies are missing.
Kids are hanging out
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00:03:06,032 --> 00:03:08,607
in new groups: the populars
mixing with the regulars.
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00:03:08,632 --> 00:03:11,033
Whatever it is, I need it to stop.
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00:03:11,058 --> 00:03:12,962
I need to add it to the no-no list.
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00:03:12,986 --> 00:03:14,613
The open house is in three days.
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00:03:14,638 --> 00:03:16,841
I need the superintendent
to think this place runs
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like a well-oiled baby.
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00:03:18,654 --> 00:03:20,803
I'm not sure if I'm using
that phrase correctly.
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00:03:20,827 --> 00:03:23,098
- Sounds good to me, boss.
- But how can I stop
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00:03:23,123 --> 00:03:25,715
whatever's going on if
I don't know what it is?
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That's where you come in.
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00:03:27,408 --> 00:03:29,462
TINA: I told him I could
find out what was happening.
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Of course I could. But
I was about to discover
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no matter which way you turn,
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fate can stick out a foot and trip you.
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- (shouts)
- Or sometimes your own shoelace
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- can stick out a foot and trip you.
- I'm okay.
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When you're working a
case, you have to be subtle.
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(high-pitched): So, Gene and Louise,
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anything new going on at
school? Distracting you?
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00:03:46,090 --> 00:03:49,551
Nope. Just learning a lot, as usual.
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00:03:49,576 --> 00:03:52,248
- Ooh. What'd you learn?
- Science. Also, math.
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00:03:52,273 --> 00:03:54,201
And that thing with the letters.
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00:03:54,226 --> 00:03:56,243
- Uh, spelling?
- No, thank you.
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00:03:56,267 --> 00:03:58,912
TINA: Either they really didn't
know or they didn't want me to know.
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Either way, it was a dead end.
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00:04:00,703 --> 00:04:02,530
I was gonna have to put
in some shoe leather.
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00:04:02,555 --> 00:04:04,147
Fruit Roll-Up, huh? Nice.
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00:04:04,424 --> 00:04:07,490
Nothing out of the ordinary.
Ooh, my old barrette.
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Damn it. Damn it. Damn it!
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00:04:14,623 --> 00:04:16,601
I took a little break for a sloppy joe,
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and stumbled sideways
into a mess of my own.
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A popular and a regular?
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00:04:21,492 --> 00:04:23,418
Where are you two going?
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(sultry jazz music playing)
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(kids murmuring)
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- (crowd whooping)
- (gasps) Gene. What the hand?
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00:04:43,545 --> 00:04:46,131
TINA: From the moment I saw
her, I knew I was in trouble.
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00:04:46,311 --> 00:04:48,295
Sure, I knew she was
technically my brother's hand,
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00:04:48,319 --> 00:04:51,998
but when she walked down those
stairs, everything changed.
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00:04:52,059 --> 00:04:53,536
She had a certain something.
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00:04:53,561 --> 00:04:55,693
You might call it style,
you might call it chutzpah,
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00:04:55,718 --> 00:04:57,137
you might call it fingers,
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00:04:57,161 --> 00:05:00,663
but whatever you called it,
sister, it was calling me.
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GENE: Mm. Mm. Ah. Ah. Ah.
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00:05:04,611 --> 00:05:08,539
- (cheering, applause)
- Give it up for Mavis Middlefinger!
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- Encore.
- Okay, okay, okay, you want more?
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00:05:11,750 --> 00:05:13,061
You know what to do.
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00:05:13,085 --> 00:05:15,489
Nickels, candy, gum that bubbles?
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00:05:15,513 --> 00:05:17,806
Whatever you're
thinking, make it double.
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00:05:17,831 --> 00:05:20,569
All right, all right, we'll
see Mavis again, but first,
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00:05:20,593 --> 00:05:23,905
coming to the stage,
Regular Sized Randolph.
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00:05:23,929 --> 00:05:26,733
- (cheering, applause)
- (Rudy grunting)
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♪ ♪
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- Hey, Louise.
- Oh. Hey, Tina.
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What, uh, what are you, uh, doing here?
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00:05:35,700 --> 00:05:36,900
Just checking out the scene.
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00:05:36,925 --> 00:05:39,258
Oh, uh, no offense, but we kind of have
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00:05:39,283 --> 00:05:41,238
a "no hall monitor" rule around here.
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00:05:41,263 --> 00:05:44,701
Oh, uh, o-okay, uh, I'm not
a hall monitor right now.
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00:05:44,726 --> 00:05:48,003
Just Tina. Belcher.
Your sister. And friend.
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00:05:48,028 --> 00:05:49,573
(chuckles) Okay, are you sure?
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00:05:49,598 --> 00:05:52,024
Because you are making
a weird lying face.
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00:05:52,049 --> 00:05:54,544
Oh, no. I-I just did a gross burp
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00:05:54,569 --> 00:05:56,725
and I'm trying to hold in the smell.
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00:05:56,750 --> 00:05:58,487
Oh. Okay, well, you can stay
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00:05:58,512 --> 00:06:01,199
as long as you keep your
lips zipped, potato chip.
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00:06:01,224 --> 00:06:02,702
Looks like I'm on.
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00:06:02,975 --> 00:06:05,113
- Regular Sized Randolph, everyone.
- (cheering, applause)
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00:06:05,137 --> 00:06:08,122
If you like Randy, give him some candy.
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00:06:08,215 --> 00:06:10,295
Wow. Bunch of loose Nerds and a quarter?
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00:06:10,459 --> 00:06:12,643
Oh, wait, no, it's a corn chip.
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00:06:12,668 --> 00:06:13,938
Bring back Mavis!
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00:06:13,963 --> 00:06:15,273
- Mavis.
- Yeah, Mavis.
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00:06:15,297 --> 00:06:16,797
Okay, okay, cool down.
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00:06:16,822 --> 00:06:18,943
We've still got nine
minutes of lunch period left.
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00:06:18,968 --> 00:06:22,047
But for now, how about
a hand for these hands?
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00:06:22,072 --> 00:06:27,005
It's Tom Shoes and his
gorgeous ex-wife Skatie Holmes.
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00:06:27,030 --> 00:06:29,804
- (cheering, applause)
- Everybody, look at my hands.
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00:06:29,828 --> 00:06:31,236
♪ ♪
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TINA: I guess you could
say it. I was wrapped
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around those fingers.
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Hey, guys. Hey, Gene.
Great finger dancing today.
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- (shushes) Tina, keep it down.
- Oh, sorry. Uh...
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00:06:40,264 --> 00:06:41,608
(whispers): Great finger dancing today.
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00:06:41,633 --> 00:06:43,969
We call it handy prancing, but thanks.
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- So it's a secret?
- Of course it is, T.
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00:06:47,077 --> 00:06:49,658
Because it's amazing, and "distracting."
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00:06:49,682 --> 00:06:50,992
Yeah, the first time
I did it was at lunch
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00:06:51,016 --> 00:06:52,978
when you were at a hall monitor meeting.
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00:06:53,002 --> 00:06:54,311
I'd seen it on the Internet.
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00:06:54,336 --> 00:06:55,571
And like everything I've
seen on the Internet,
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I tried it right away.
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00:06:57,151 --> 00:06:59,087
LOUISE: He painted on
a pair of mustard shorts
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00:06:59,112 --> 00:07:01,152
and slipped on some tater tot shoes.
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00:07:01,177 --> 00:07:02,988
Ms. Labonz yelled at him to cut it out,
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00:07:03,012 --> 00:07:05,632
but, oh, it took off from there.
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♪ ♪
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Soon, the scene got so big
we had to take it underground
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so we wouldn't wind up
on Frond's no-no list.
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Gene's the best at it,
and it's making me...
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I mean, us... Three,
four dollars a day easy,
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00:07:21,973 --> 00:07:23,599
- plus candy and gum.
- Cool.
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00:07:23,623 --> 00:07:25,601
- Mind if I come back tomorrow?
- Sure. I mean,
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00:07:25,625 --> 00:07:28,004
you're not gonna go rat
us out to Frond, are you?
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00:07:28,029 --> 00:07:31,106
What? No way. I'll
keep it Frond-fidential.
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00:07:31,131 --> 00:07:32,539
Confidential. Ha, ha.
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00:07:32,564 --> 00:07:34,018
Great. Um, see you then.
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00:07:34,043 --> 00:07:35,661
And also for the rest
of the walk home now,
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00:07:35,686 --> 00:07:37,575
and later tonight and tomorrow morning.
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00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:39,849
Ah, you doing one of
those gross burps again?
189
00:07:39,874 --> 00:07:41,025
Yep, yep, yep.
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00:07:41,050 --> 00:07:42,952
Sure, I wasn't telling
them the whole truth,
191
00:07:42,976 --> 00:07:45,539
but I wasn't gonna tell
Frond the whole truth, either.
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00:07:45,564 --> 00:07:47,622
Maybe there was another way out.
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00:07:47,647 --> 00:07:50,647
It was a complicated sandwich,
and I was the salami in the middle.
194
00:07:50,672 --> 00:07:52,536
Ooh! Tina. Easy with the broom.
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00:07:52,561 --> 00:07:54,583
Oh, sorry, I was just thinking, I guess.
196
00:07:54,608 --> 00:07:57,583
Inside, I was a deck of 52
cards scattered on the floor,
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00:07:57,608 --> 00:07:59,916
but from the outside I had
to look like a straight flush.
198
00:07:59,941 --> 00:08:02,804
(chuckles): Tina, you're
sweeping me off my feet.
199
00:08:02,829 --> 00:08:05,117
- Literally.
- Ugh. Dumb broom.
200
00:08:05,142 --> 00:08:08,143
(panting): Guys, I've
got a huge problem.
201
00:08:08,168 --> 00:08:11,700
Okay. Is this like when you
couldn't get your underwear off?
202
00:08:11,725 --> 00:08:13,557
Because I'm not helping you again.
203
00:08:13,582 --> 00:08:15,577
You-you need to buy bigger underwear.
204
00:08:15,601 --> 00:08:18,148
- No, this is worse. You know Kathleen?
- Yeah.
205
00:08:18,173 --> 00:08:20,585
Well, she invited me to the
movies in a couple of days.
206
00:08:20,610 --> 00:08:22,008
Aw, that's great, Teddy.
207
00:08:22,033 --> 00:08:23,735
Yeah, but here's the
problem: she could only
208
00:08:23,759 --> 00:08:25,920
get tickets at 5:30,
which is dinnertime.
209
00:08:25,944 --> 00:08:27,663
So I told her I could
pick up a couple of burgers
210
00:08:27,687 --> 00:08:29,474
from you guys, but the
last time I tried to sneak
211
00:08:29,499 --> 00:08:32,163
a burger into the movies,
it didn't go so well.
212
00:08:32,671 --> 00:08:36,107
Sir, you aren't allowed to bring
outside food into the theater.
213
00:08:36,132 --> 00:08:37,599
(shouting) Sorry! Sorry!
214
00:08:37,623 --> 00:08:40,769
(shouts, crying)
215
00:08:40,793 --> 00:08:43,305
- Oh, no.
- Wait, is that why you have
216
00:08:43,330 --> 00:08:45,779
a cardboard cutout of
Vin Diesel in your house?
217
00:08:45,804 --> 00:08:49,138
No, that was a gift. Ugh,
I don't know what to do about this food.
218
00:08:49,163 --> 00:08:52,263
I told Kathleen I would bring burgers.
This could make or break us.
219
00:08:52,288 --> 00:08:54,099
Well, well, maybe we can
help you sneak them in.
220
00:08:54,123 --> 00:08:56,101
I can make you a little sneaky snacky.
221
00:08:56,125 --> 00:08:58,239
Oh, thank you, Linda. Thank you.
222
00:08:58,264 --> 00:09:00,396
You can't just waltz in
there with a bag in your hand.
223
00:09:00,421 --> 00:09:03,107
That's lesson one. You got to be
like The James Bourne Identity.
224
00:09:03,132 --> 00:09:05,310
You got to hide it.
Give me a day, Teddy.
225
00:09:05,335 --> 00:09:07,239
- I'll come up with something.
- Oh, thank God.
226
00:09:07,264 --> 00:09:10,489
I was really panicking
there. (chuckles, sighs)
227
00:09:10,514 --> 00:09:12,823
Better have a burger and fries
and another burger to calm down.
228
00:09:12,917 --> 00:09:15,089
- Yep.
- TINA: Life just kept moving around me,
229
00:09:15,114 --> 00:09:16,671
and I kept moving around life.
230
00:09:16,696 --> 00:09:19,214
Like walking and stuff, but
also sitting sometimes, too.
231
00:09:19,239 --> 00:09:22,028
So I guess moving and also not moving.
232
00:09:22,053 --> 00:09:23,874
Depending on what I was doing.
233
00:09:24,249 --> 00:09:26,463
Meanwhile, I couldn't
stop thinking about her.
234
00:09:26,488 --> 00:09:28,276
She was so free, so wild.
235
00:09:28,301 --> 00:09:31,468
I wondered what it felt like to
walk a mile in her tiny shoes.
236
00:09:31,493 --> 00:09:33,796
It'd probably take a while,
because her feet are so small,
237
00:09:33,821 --> 00:09:36,893
but boy, oh, boy, I had a
feeling it would be worth it.
238
00:09:37,177 --> 00:09:40,105
- Ow. Tina.
- Sorry.
239
00:09:40,130 --> 00:09:41,522
So, have you found out what's up?
240
00:09:41,547 --> 00:09:44,005
On a scale of friendship
bracelets to teen pregnancy,
241
00:09:44,030 --> 00:09:45,816
- how bad is it?
- No info yet.
242
00:09:45,841 --> 00:09:49,003
But, you know, I've got some hunches,
and I'm eating some lunches.
243
00:09:49,027 --> 00:09:51,102
Okay.
244
00:09:51,694 --> 00:09:53,248
TINA: I thought I had it under control.
245
00:09:53,273 --> 00:09:57,505
But it turned out, what I
couldn't control was myself.
246
00:09:57,530 --> 00:10:00,849
♪ All of my life,
I've held it all in ♪
247
00:10:00,874 --> 00:10:04,185
♪ Wondering what I could've been ♪
248
00:10:04,757 --> 00:10:07,890
♪ If all of those things
I'm trying to hide ♪
249
00:10:07,915 --> 00:10:11,342
♪ Jumped out of my
skin, to the outside? ♪
250
00:10:11,367 --> 00:10:14,747
♪ Just give me a hand,
I'm tired of hiding ♪
251
00:10:14,772 --> 00:10:18,767
♪ Give me a hand,
look at me striding ♪
252
00:10:18,792 --> 00:10:21,685
♪ I'm free as the breeze-y,
a little bit sleazy ♪
253
00:10:21,710 --> 00:10:26,655
♪ My God, it's not easy,
feeling so free-y. ♪
254
00:10:26,806 --> 00:10:28,810
- LOUISE: Tina.
- (shouts) Nothing.
255
00:10:28,835 --> 00:10:30,904
- You were handy prancing.
- W-Was I?
256
00:10:30,929 --> 00:10:33,315
You, uh, want to get
up on stage tomorrow?
257
00:10:33,339 --> 00:10:36,576
Oh, no, I don't think so.
This was just a-an accident.
258
00:10:36,601 --> 00:10:38,195
Sure. Your hand just accidentally fell
259
00:10:38,219 --> 00:10:40,264
into some of your old
Equestranaut clothes.
260
00:10:40,289 --> 00:10:42,231
(chuckles): Yeah. You'd be, uh,
261
00:10:42,256 --> 00:10:43,976
surprised how often that happens.
262
00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:46,318
(chuckles): Okay, well,
Mom says come to dinner.
263
00:10:46,343 --> 00:10:48,105
Great, let's all get out
of my room quickly, then.
264
00:10:48,130 --> 00:10:49,796
GENE: We'd better hurry.
Looks like she's going
265
00:10:49,821 --> 00:10:51,746
for my spaghetti... Mom, trip her!
266
00:10:52,233 --> 00:10:53,502
TINA: What did it mean?
267
00:10:53,526 --> 00:10:55,585
I was supposed to be busting
those freewheeling fingers.
268
00:10:55,610 --> 00:10:56,730
But I wanted to be one?
269
00:10:56,755 --> 00:10:58,265
I was all mixed up like some kind of...
270
00:10:58,290 --> 00:10:59,514
mixed-up thing.
271
00:10:59,539 --> 00:11:02,226
Okay, you must be wondering about these.
272
00:11:02,251 --> 00:11:03,846
They're my old armpit hairnets
273
00:11:03,870 --> 00:11:05,606
from when I had to wear armpit hairnets
274
00:11:05,630 --> 00:11:06,515
in the restaurant.
275
00:11:06,539 --> 00:11:07,872
I thought we bronzed those.
276
00:11:07,897 --> 00:11:09,851
They're for Teddy...
For his movie burgers.
277
00:11:09,876 --> 00:11:11,859
Linda, isn't that kind of gross?
278
00:11:11,884 --> 00:11:13,688
I mean, would you want to eat a burger
279
00:11:13,713 --> 00:11:15,191
that's been in somebody's armpit?
280
00:11:15,215 --> 00:11:17,077
Armpits are the cleanest
part of the body.
281
00:11:17,102 --> 00:11:20,096
(chuckling): No, I-I, I
really don't think that's true.
282
00:11:20,121 --> 00:11:21,604
Uh, besides, won't the burgers
283
00:11:21,629 --> 00:11:23,124
get all soggy and mushy in there?
284
00:11:23,148 --> 00:11:25,351
I've eaten plenty of food
that's been in Mom's armpit.
285
00:11:25,375 --> 00:11:27,203
That's how she warms stuff up on the go.
286
00:11:27,227 --> 00:11:29,705
Bagels, baked potatoes, empanadas, soup.
287
00:11:29,743 --> 00:11:32,023
Yeah, I made s'mores in there one time.
288
00:11:32,048 --> 00:11:34,414
And what's your great
idea, Mr. Smarty-sneaks?
289
00:11:34,439 --> 00:11:38,881
Um, anything would be better
than food from your armpit.
290
00:11:38,905 --> 00:11:40,646
What about crotch, butt crack?
291
00:11:40,671 --> 00:11:41,837
Folded under one's boobs?
292
00:11:41,862 --> 00:11:42,970
Ooh, good idea.
293
00:11:42,995 --> 00:11:44,462
Tina, you're quiet.
294
00:11:44,487 --> 00:11:45,594
Uh, everything okay?
295
00:11:45,619 --> 00:11:47,555
Oh, sorry, um... delicious.
296
00:11:47,580 --> 00:11:49,375
- What?
- Dinner's delicious?
297
00:11:49,399 --> 00:11:50,623
Is that what we're talking about?
298
00:11:50,648 --> 00:11:52,061
Thank you, Tina.
299
00:11:52,085 --> 00:11:53,879
I'm not telling you how I heated it up
300
00:11:53,903 --> 00:11:55,403
because apparently someone's
301
00:11:55,428 --> 00:11:56,831
- worried about that.
- Mmm.
302
00:11:56,856 --> 00:11:57,908
TINA: I had it bad.
303
00:11:57,933 --> 00:11:59,116
And that wasn't good.
304
00:11:59,141 --> 00:12:00,916
Unless... it was?
305
00:12:01,979 --> 00:12:02,995
(Tina humming)
306
00:12:03,020 --> 00:12:04,873
Are you sure she's working for Frond?
307
00:12:04,898 --> 00:12:06,406
I mean, something's going on.
308
00:12:06,431 --> 00:12:08,576
That was her lying face,
not her burping face.
309
00:12:08,601 --> 00:12:11,252
But one thing's for sure,
she's in over her head.
310
00:12:11,345 --> 00:12:14,175
And if we keep her in,
she won't rat us out.
311
00:12:14,199 --> 00:12:15,993
TINA: Could I hear them? Yes.
312
00:12:16,017 --> 00:12:17,419
They were very loud whisperers.
313
00:12:17,443 --> 00:12:18,609
So they were on to me,
314
00:12:18,634 --> 00:12:20,261
and I was on to them being on to me.
315
00:12:20,286 --> 00:12:22,348
And luckily, Frond
didn't suspect a thing.
316
00:12:22,373 --> 00:12:24,166
- I suspect something.
- (shouts)
317
00:12:24,191 --> 00:12:26,078
I suspect you're not
very good at your job,
318
00:12:26,102 --> 00:12:27,263
because you haven't found squat.
319
00:12:27,287 --> 00:12:28,748
Back off, Frond! I'm working on it!
320
00:12:28,772 --> 00:12:29,932
Go counsel something.
321
00:12:29,956 --> 00:12:32,450
Was I lying to him or lying to myself?
322
00:12:32,475 --> 00:12:34,419
Was I in too deep or not deep enough?
323
00:12:34,444 --> 00:12:36,918
Was I ready to change
or had I already changed?
324
00:12:36,943 --> 00:12:39,181
Who was I becoming and
was it becoming on me?
325
00:12:39,206 --> 00:12:41,603
Was I asking too many
questions or not enough?
326
00:12:41,628 --> 00:12:44,186
Or just the right amount? All
I wanted to do was the thing
327
00:12:44,211 --> 00:12:46,371
I was supposed to stop.
It was like my hand
328
00:12:46,396 --> 00:12:47,542
had a mind of its own.
329
00:12:47,566 --> 00:12:49,486
And now, for the first time ever,
330
00:12:49,511 --> 00:12:50,935
give it up for... for...
331
00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:53,063
Uh, what-what was your name?
332
00:12:53,088 --> 00:12:55,271
Holly Monitors. Because
I'm a hall monitor.
333
00:12:55,296 --> 00:12:56,795
No, no, I get it, I get it.
334
00:12:56,820 --> 00:12:59,688
Give it up for Holly Monitors!
335
00:12:59,713 --> 00:13:01,833
- (cheering, applause)
- (shouts) I'm okay!
336
00:13:04,865 --> 00:13:07,636
TINA: It was a rush.
The crowd was electric.
337
00:13:07,660 --> 00:13:09,106
The feeling... it was...
338
00:13:09,131 --> 00:13:10,973
I had never felt
anything like it before.
339
00:13:10,997 --> 00:13:12,496
Absolute freedom.
340
00:13:12,521 --> 00:13:14,735
Holly knew what she
wanted and she went for it.
341
00:13:14,759 --> 00:13:16,000
So whose side was I on?
342
00:13:16,025 --> 00:13:17,576
Well, I was more turned around
343
00:13:17,601 --> 00:13:19,314
than that time Aunt Gayle
got caught in her curtains.
344
00:13:19,339 --> 00:13:21,133
But as long as I could keep struttin',
345
00:13:21,157 --> 00:13:22,151
that's all that mattered to me.
346
00:13:22,175 --> 00:13:24,129
So, I did what Holly wanted.
347
00:13:24,154 --> 00:13:26,079
And Holls, she wanted it alls.
348
00:13:26,104 --> 00:13:27,845
I was living two lives.
349
00:13:27,870 --> 00:13:29,307
Busting kids in my vest.
350
00:13:29,332 --> 00:13:31,400
And busting moves in my dress.
351
00:13:31,425 --> 00:13:33,498
But it was getting harder and harder
352
00:13:33,523 --> 00:13:34,775
to keep it up.
353
00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:36,008
♪ ♪
354
00:13:41,037 --> 00:13:42,600
I was usually the one on the sidelines,
355
00:13:42,625 --> 00:13:43,715
watching the show.
356
00:13:43,740 --> 00:13:45,217
(Gene and Louise vocalizing)
357
00:13:45,242 --> 00:13:46,826
- (Bob laughs)
- So good.
358
00:13:46,850 --> 00:13:48,471
TINA: But this time, I was in the show.
359
00:13:48,496 --> 00:13:50,829
And, honey, the show was in business.
360
00:13:50,854 --> 00:13:52,412
You know, show business?
361
00:13:52,649 --> 00:13:55,481
But nothing this complicated
can go on for long
362
00:13:55,506 --> 00:13:57,168
without someone getting hurt.
363
00:13:57,467 --> 00:13:59,095
Hi, kids. How was school?
364
00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:00,707
Great. Everything is totally fine.
365
00:14:00,732 --> 00:14:02,841
And I'm not hiding anything from anyone.
366
00:14:02,866 --> 00:14:04,903
Okay...
367
00:14:04,928 --> 00:14:06,786
TINA: I didn't want to worry
Mom. She was a good girl.
368
00:14:06,811 --> 00:14:08,681
She didn't need to get
mixed up in all this.
369
00:14:08,705 --> 00:14:10,458
- Psst. Tina?
- Yeah? What?
370
00:14:10,482 --> 00:14:12,033
You were great today.
371
00:14:12,058 --> 00:14:13,895
Yeah, your hand only fell over twice.
372
00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:16,279
- And you only fell over three times.
- Thanks.
373
00:14:16,303 --> 00:14:18,281
So, Teddy, do you want
to use my pit holders
374
00:14:18,305 --> 00:14:20,260
to get the burgers
into the movies or what?
375
00:14:20,285 --> 00:14:22,210
- It's perfect, right?
- Um...
376
00:14:22,235 --> 00:14:24,115
- (groans)
- Don't worry, Teddy.
377
00:14:24,145 --> 00:14:25,547
You don't need to answer that.
378
00:14:25,571 --> 00:14:26,973
I figured out a better way
379
00:14:26,998 --> 00:14:28,270
for you to get the burgers in.
380
00:14:28,295 --> 00:14:30,197
- You did?
- Yep. All you need is
381
00:14:30,221 --> 00:14:31,883
eight plastic bags and a vest.
382
00:14:31,908 --> 00:14:35,700
You see? Each part of the burger
is contained in its own bag.
383
00:14:35,725 --> 00:14:38,263
Wow. That is elaborate, Bob. (chuckles)
384
00:14:38,288 --> 00:14:40,116
Okay, and so you just take each part out
385
00:14:40,140 --> 00:14:41,985
and build the burger fresh.
386
00:14:42,010 --> 00:14:46,144
No soggy buns. Now I just sit down,
wait for the movie to begin,
387
00:14:46,169 --> 00:14:48,881
and make myself the
perfect burger to eat.
388
00:14:49,154 --> 00:14:50,567
Oh, shoot. Hang on.
389
00:14:50,592 --> 00:14:53,012
- Bob, your tomato fell out.
- I can see that, Teddy.
390
00:14:53,037 --> 00:14:55,465
Still seems like a perfect
plan though, Bobby. (chuckles)
391
00:14:55,489 --> 00:14:58,025
It'll work. Okay, now
I just take out each bag
392
00:14:58,050 --> 00:15:00,733
in order, starting
with the bottom bun...
393
00:15:00,758 --> 00:15:02,304
- That's lettuce.
- Thank you, Teddy.
394
00:15:02,329 --> 00:15:04,048
Uh, hang on. Let me just fix this.
395
00:15:04,072 --> 00:15:05,936
You know what, maybe we'll
just get popcorn, right?
396
00:15:05,961 --> 00:15:08,201
We'll get an extra large
and we'll just split it.
397
00:15:08,226 --> 00:15:10,146
What? No! Take my pit holders, Teddy.
398
00:15:10,170 --> 00:15:12,056
No, no, take mine. I-I fixed it, look.
399
00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:14,317
- Oh, crap.
- I'm just gonna put the holders on you.
400
00:15:14,341 --> 00:15:16,543
- So you have 'em if you want.
- No, that's okay.
401
00:15:16,568 --> 00:15:18,321
Lin, I don't want the pit... things.
402
00:15:18,345 --> 00:15:20,236
- He wants this!
- No. Uh...
403
00:15:20,288 --> 00:15:21,399
Wait, w-where are you going?
404
00:15:21,423 --> 00:15:23,217
- Teddy, take 'em!
- Uh, I... I...
405
00:15:23,241 --> 00:15:24,886
- You're gonna love 'em, Teddy, come on!
- Take it, Teddy!
406
00:15:24,910 --> 00:15:26,495
- Teddy, come on!
- BOB: Teddy, take this.
407
00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:28,556
Ah, you know I can't handle when
two people talk to me!
408
00:15:28,581 --> 00:15:31,043
- (screaming)
- Huh.
409
00:15:31,068 --> 00:15:33,604
I can't believe he didn't
like either of those ideas.
410
00:15:33,629 --> 00:15:35,537
- I know.
- His loss.
411
00:15:35,562 --> 00:15:38,225
TINA: Anyway, life was good. Too good.
412
00:15:38,250 --> 00:15:41,028
It's like I always say, when
you're on top of the world,
413
00:15:41,053 --> 00:15:42,853
the only place left to go is down.
414
00:15:42,878 --> 00:15:45,466
Okay, I didn't always say
that, but I'm saying it now.
415
00:15:45,491 --> 00:15:48,045
And I plan on saying it again
because it's fun to say.
416
00:15:48,070 --> 00:15:50,419
- Tina. My office, now.
- (shouts)
417
00:15:50,444 --> 00:15:52,266
I need something, Tina.
418
00:15:52,291 --> 00:15:54,809
The open house is so close,
and kids are still acting weird.
419
00:15:54,834 --> 00:15:56,995
I need more time! Give me a few weeks!
420
00:15:57,019 --> 00:15:59,459
- The open house is in two days.
- Okay, I didn't know that.
421
00:15:59,484 --> 00:16:02,176
What? You made the banner
that says the date on it.
422
00:16:02,201 --> 00:16:04,503
Wait a minute. Who are you protecting?
423
00:16:04,527 --> 00:16:06,597
Who got to you? Was it Lenny DeStefano?
424
00:16:06,621 --> 00:16:08,821
He got an eighth-grade
girl to keep his rabbit
425
00:16:08,865 --> 00:16:10,618
in her lunchbox for three weeks.
426
00:16:10,643 --> 00:16:12,327
I know he's very powerful.
427
00:16:12,352 --> 00:16:15,347
I'm not protecting anyone!
I just haven't found anything yet!
428
00:16:15,371 --> 00:16:18,912
(sighs) Tina, I didn't want
it to come to this, but...
429
00:16:18,937 --> 00:16:21,084
I may have to take your vest.
430
00:16:21,118 --> 00:16:23,313
- What? No!
- I can tell you're lying.
431
00:16:23,338 --> 00:16:25,931
Your-your face looks
absolutely bananas.
432
00:16:25,956 --> 00:16:27,640
Uh...
433
00:16:27,665 --> 00:16:28,911
What choice did I have?
434
00:16:28,977 --> 00:16:31,029
I had to tell him something.
435
00:16:31,053 --> 00:16:32,951
(Millie humming)
436
00:16:34,390 --> 00:16:36,368
- (cheering, applause)
- There you have her, folks!
437
00:16:36,392 --> 00:16:38,294
Fing-lise Belcher.
438
00:16:38,319 --> 00:16:39,940
This is very weird,
Millie. I don't like it.
439
00:16:39,965 --> 00:16:42,632
Because you love it?
Can we hold hands now?
440
00:16:42,657 --> 00:16:44,991
Louise! Louise, there's
something you need to know!
441
00:16:45,016 --> 00:16:46,106
Hey, what is it, T?
442
00:16:46,131 --> 00:16:48,017
- You lookin' for stage time?
- No, I...
443
00:16:48,147 --> 00:16:49,883
What in the world?!
444
00:16:49,908 --> 00:16:51,457
Tina! You didn't!
445
00:16:51,482 --> 00:16:52,722
No! I actually didn't. I mean,
446
00:16:52,747 --> 00:16:54,484
I came here to tell you
that he wanted me to,
447
00:16:54,509 --> 00:16:55,745
but I didn't tell him anything!
448
00:16:55,770 --> 00:16:56,844
Yeah, right.
449
00:16:56,869 --> 00:16:58,648
I knew I shouldn't have trusted a vest.
450
00:16:58,673 --> 00:17:01,007
I am a vest, but I'm also your sister.
451
00:17:01,032 --> 00:17:02,435
Not anymore you're not.
452
00:17:02,460 --> 00:17:03,728
All right, everyone.
453
00:17:03,753 --> 00:17:05,472
Pack up your adorable little accessories
454
00:17:05,496 --> 00:17:07,738
and get out of here! They're banned!
455
00:17:07,763 --> 00:17:10,356
This is all banned,
effective immediately!
456
00:17:10,381 --> 00:17:12,284
Here's a finger, now get out of here.
457
00:17:12,309 --> 00:17:14,184
- That's your thumb.
- The thumb is a finger.
458
00:17:14,209 --> 00:17:16,786
- No. This is a finger.
- Millie!
459
00:17:20,051 --> 00:17:22,564
TINA: And just like
that, it was all gone.
460
00:17:22,588 --> 00:17:24,233
The fun, the friendships, the fingers.
461
00:17:24,257 --> 00:17:25,843
I had flown too close to the sun.
462
00:17:25,867 --> 00:17:27,678
In this case, my mom's son, uh,
463
00:17:27,702 --> 00:17:29,692
and also her daughter,
who happened to be
464
00:17:29,717 --> 00:17:30,975
my brother and sister.
465
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:32,407
And they didn't want
anything to do with me.
466
00:17:32,559 --> 00:17:33,666
Louise switched seats
467
00:17:33,691 --> 00:17:35,427
at dinner so our elbows wouldn't bump.
468
00:17:35,451 --> 00:17:37,021
Sure, Gene still invited me
469
00:17:37,045 --> 00:17:38,764
to serve him bubble
bath chicken nuggets,
470
00:17:38,788 --> 00:17:40,916
but we didn't have our usual
bubble bath chicken nugget
471
00:17:40,940 --> 00:17:42,526
banter... it was all business.
472
00:17:42,550 --> 00:17:44,361
I was back on the right side of the law.
473
00:17:44,385 --> 00:17:46,126
So why did it feel so wrong?
474
00:17:46,151 --> 00:17:48,504
Frond banned handy prancing for good.
475
00:17:48,529 --> 00:17:49,932
The case was closed.
476
00:17:50,114 --> 00:17:52,369
And the school was about
to be open... housed.
477
00:17:52,393 --> 00:17:53,537
Open housed.
478
00:17:53,561 --> 00:17:55,953
Okay, Tina, let's test out the video.
479
00:17:56,387 --> 00:17:58,685
No! Don't turn the camera on.
480
00:17:58,710 --> 00:18:01,377
Play the video called
"Wagstaff Faces and Places."
481
00:18:01,402 --> 00:18:02,454
Sorry.
482
00:18:02,478 --> 00:18:03,789
♪ ♪
483
00:18:03,813 --> 00:18:05,607
I didn't sleep a wink that night.
484
00:18:05,631 --> 00:18:07,626
Normally, I have restless leg syndrome.
485
00:18:07,650 --> 00:18:09,878
But that night, I had
restless finger syndrome.
486
00:18:09,903 --> 00:18:11,768
And that's when I had the idea.
487
00:18:11,793 --> 00:18:13,281
FROND: And now...
488
00:18:13,306 --> 00:18:15,708
Phillip Frond Productions
proudly presents:
489
00:18:15,733 --> 00:18:18,393
Walk on into Wagstaff,
490
00:18:18,418 --> 00:18:20,397
a full-day immersive experience
491
00:18:20,421 --> 00:18:23,401
that will have you saying, "Holy cow!"
492
00:18:23,426 --> 00:18:25,569
(chuckles) And, Tina, go.
493
00:18:25,593 --> 00:18:28,002
(exhales) Okay.
494
00:18:28,027 --> 00:18:30,469
♪ ♪
495
00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:33,645
No. No. No, no, no, no, no! No! No!
496
00:18:33,676 --> 00:18:35,776
Oh, look, a little dancing hand.
497
00:18:35,801 --> 00:18:37,168
I love it.
498
00:18:37,193 --> 00:18:38,950
This is a fun assembly.
499
00:18:38,975 --> 00:18:40,750
I thought it was gonna
be boring school stuff.
500
00:18:40,775 --> 00:18:42,478
(singsongy): This feels like
a good time for a burger,
501
00:18:42,502 --> 00:18:44,663
doesn't it? A not-mushy burger.
502
00:18:44,911 --> 00:18:46,998
Hmm, those buns look pretty smooshed.
503
00:18:47,092 --> 00:18:50,870
Unlike this bun... oh, no,
wait, that's a tomato. Hang on.
504
00:18:50,895 --> 00:18:52,987
Tina! Tina, stop!
505
00:18:53,543 --> 00:18:55,823
TINA: I'd made some phone
calls the night before.
506
00:18:55,848 --> 00:18:57,476
Told some finger friends
to wear their Sunday best,
507
00:18:57,500 --> 00:18:58,739
even though it was a Friday.
508
00:18:58,764 --> 00:18:59,867
And since Gene and Louise
509
00:18:59,892 --> 00:19:01,374
were always surprising me,
510
00:19:01,399 --> 00:19:03,422
I thought I'd surprise them for once.
511
00:19:03,447 --> 00:19:05,384
(chuckles): Tina, you son of a bitch.
512
00:19:05,409 --> 00:19:06,759
Hey, go on up there, Gene.
513
00:19:06,784 --> 00:19:08,375
Give us a Mavis moment.
514
00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:10,671
Nah, this is Holly Monitors' show.
515
00:19:10,696 --> 00:19:13,270
I'm just gonna use these to do this.
516
00:19:17,203 --> 00:19:18,789
So, what, is she suspended or something?
517
00:19:18,813 --> 00:19:20,128
I thought it was cute.
518
00:19:20,153 --> 00:19:23,017
Well, lucky for Tina, so
did the superintendent.
519
00:19:23,042 --> 00:19:24,686
She said it was the first creative thing
520
00:19:24,710 --> 00:19:27,211
she's ever seen me do,
so I took credit for it.
521
00:19:27,236 --> 00:19:28,908
Oh. So, I'm not in trouble?
522
00:19:28,933 --> 00:19:32,116
No, but if I ever see
those fingers again...
523
00:19:32,141 --> 00:19:34,491
(stammers) I'm sorry, did you just take
524
00:19:34,516 --> 00:19:36,197
french fries out of your armpit?
525
00:19:36,222 --> 00:19:37,532
Yeah! You want some?
526
00:19:37,557 --> 00:19:39,310
- They're great.
- I have some, too.
527
00:19:39,334 --> 00:19:41,219
Uh, kind of near my
butt. A baggie slid down.
528
00:19:41,243 --> 00:19:42,910
I think we're done here.
529
00:19:42,935 --> 00:19:44,101
♪ ♪
530
00:19:44,321 --> 00:19:46,041
TINA: I sure was gonna
miss Holly Monitors.
531
00:19:46,065 --> 00:19:48,484
But then, I guess, a little
part of me will always be
532
00:19:48,509 --> 00:19:51,282
- Holly Monitors... the hand part.
- (knocking)
533
00:19:53,163 --> 00:19:55,141
Mavis. How'd you know where to find me?
534
00:19:55,165 --> 00:19:56,902
GENE (high-pitched): I asked around.
535
00:19:56,926 --> 00:19:58,144
(normal voice): Can we come in?
536
00:19:58,168 --> 00:19:59,888
So it was you who told Mr. Frond?
537
00:19:59,912 --> 00:20:02,484
But why? You were on top of the world.
538
00:20:02,509 --> 00:20:04,483
Sure, it started that way. At first,
539
00:20:04,515 --> 00:20:07,635
- I loved the attention.
- ALL (chanting): Mavis! Mavis! Mavis!
540
00:20:08,024 --> 00:20:09,581
But what began as an occasional gig
541
00:20:09,605 --> 00:20:11,531
turned into an every lunchtime thing.
542
00:20:11,556 --> 00:20:14,345
I was missing so many gorditas,
so many ham sandwiches.
543
00:20:14,369 --> 00:20:16,922
But Louise didn't want me to
stop. She was getting rich.
544
00:20:16,946 --> 00:20:19,687
I was having a good time, but
it was wearing a little thin.
545
00:20:19,712 --> 00:20:22,686
(high-pitched): Thinner than the
elastic on my favorite finger tube top.
546
00:20:22,710 --> 00:20:25,407
Mr. Frond put the screws
to me and I let it all out.
547
00:20:25,432 --> 00:20:27,312
I told him everything! Everything!
548
00:20:27,337 --> 00:20:28,842
You didn't have to tell him, Gene.
549
00:20:28,866 --> 00:20:30,361
I threw him off the scent
with a really good lie
550
00:20:30,385 --> 00:20:32,476
that everyone was just doing
a lot of studying these days.
551
00:20:32,501 --> 00:20:35,023
Frankly, it was a relief.
The spotlight isn't always
552
00:20:35,048 --> 00:20:36,775
what it's cracked up to be, kid.
553
00:20:36,799 --> 00:20:38,610
I love being Mavis, but
sometimes you just want to
554
00:20:38,634 --> 00:20:40,721
use your fingers for
lickin' and pickin'.
555
00:20:40,746 --> 00:20:42,266
And occasionally flickin'.
556
00:20:42,291 --> 00:20:43,991
I'm sorry I didn't tell you right away.
557
00:20:44,016 --> 00:20:45,358
And I'm sorry I didn't tell Louise.
558
00:20:45,382 --> 00:20:46,893
You loved handy prancing and she loved
559
00:20:46,918 --> 00:20:49,194
- all that candy and money.
- That's okay.
560
00:20:49,219 --> 00:20:51,008
Well, would you ever want to...
561
00:20:51,033 --> 00:20:53,178
- tread the boards at home with me?
- (high-pitched): Honey,
562
00:20:53,202 --> 00:20:55,040
all you had to do was ask.
563
00:20:55,508 --> 00:20:57,850
(Gene grunting)
564
00:21:00,141 --> 00:21:02,647
♪ Hey, it's time to
do the handy prance ♪
565
00:21:02,672 --> 00:21:05,541
♪ Yeah, it's time to
let your digits dance ♪
566
00:21:05,566 --> 00:21:08,083
♪ It doesn't matter if
your moves are fancy ♪
567
00:21:08,108 --> 00:21:10,619
♪ Get to the boiler room
and take a chance-y ♪
568
00:21:10,644 --> 00:21:12,272
♪ Put some clothing
on your fingers ♪
569
00:21:12,296 --> 00:21:13,641
♪ Come and join the swingers ♪
570
00:21:13,666 --> 00:21:15,108
♪ With Gene ♪
571
00:21:15,132 --> 00:21:17,035
♪ Let's see those fingers kicking ♪
572
00:21:17,059 --> 00:21:19,020
♪ Dance, dance, dance,
dance, dance, dance ♪
573
00:21:19,044 --> 00:21:20,947
- ♪ Don't be a chicken ♪
- ♪ Dance, dance ♪
574
00:21:20,971 --> 00:21:23,266
- ♪ Do the handy prance ♪
- ♪ Don't sit there lickin' ♪
575
00:21:23,290 --> 00:21:25,193
- ♪ Dance, dance, dance, dance ♪
- ♪ Or pickin' ♪
576
00:21:25,217 --> 00:21:26,484
- ♪ Or lickin' or pickin' ♪
- ♪ Dance, dance ♪
577
00:21:26,509 --> 00:21:28,003
- ♪ Or sometimes flickin' ♪
- ♪ Dance, dance ♪
578
00:21:28,028 --> 00:21:29,617
♪ Your brother's hand is cool ♪
579
00:21:29,642 --> 00:21:31,406
♪ You can't resist her, dress
in your horse's clothes ♪
580
00:21:31,431 --> 00:21:33,312
♪ And join him, sister. ♪
581
00:21:33,337 --> 00:21:36,718
- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
46884
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