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1
00:00:05,338 --> 00:00:07,382
Oh, shit.
2
00:00:10,552 --> 00:00:11,886
I heard it.
3
00:00:13,054 --> 00:00:13,972
I'm sorry.
4
00:00:15,890 --> 00:00:17,058
What time is it?
5
00:00:17,142 --> 00:00:20,020
-It's five.
-Oh, fuck.
6
00:00:20,103 --> 00:00:21,563
I didn't go to sleep till four.
7
00:00:21,646 --> 00:00:24,149
-I'm sorry.
-Hey, come back to bed.
8
00:00:24,232 --> 00:00:25,817
-I can't.
-What?
9
00:00:25,900 --> 00:00:28,028
I have an early class.
10
00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:30,363
If I don't go home first
and wake Brady up,
11
00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:31,573
he'll sleep all day.
12
00:00:31,656 --> 00:00:34,159
Sleep all day.
That sounds so good.
13
00:00:34,617 --> 00:00:37,412
Go to sleep.
I'll be outta here in two minutes.
14
00:00:37,495 --> 00:00:38,371
Ow!
15
00:00:38,455 --> 00:00:39,831
Oh, my God.
16
00:00:39,914 --> 00:00:42,125
Shit. Sorry.
17
00:00:43,793 --> 00:00:44,878
Fuck.
18
00:01:10,236 --> 00:01:12,072
Morning, pumpkin!
19
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:15,075
I got our pumpkin.
20
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,369
And there's
21
00:01:18,661 --> 00:01:20,246
there's pancakes.
22
00:01:20,955 --> 00:01:23,041
Not pumpkin.
Dropped the ball there.
23
00:01:23,124 --> 00:01:25,085
Mom, I told you, you don't have
to come all the way over here
24
00:01:25,168 --> 00:01:26,670
every morning just to make me breakfast.
25
00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:28,755
I know, but I like it.
26
00:01:28,838 --> 00:01:30,840
And the two of you
would starve if I didn't.
27
00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:35,512
Hey, so, after you eat,
you wanna help me decorate the stoop?
28
00:01:36,262 --> 00:01:39,432
We can't be the only house on the block
with no Halloween spirit.
29
00:01:39,515 --> 00:01:41,142
Isn't this house already scary enough?
30
00:01:47,315 --> 00:01:49,401
Charlotte is going to kill us
31
00:01:49,484 --> 00:01:52,320
for not wearing costumes
to her fundraiser.
32
00:01:52,654 --> 00:01:53,988
I am wearing a costume.
33
00:01:54,906 --> 00:02:00,370
I'm Helen Gurley Brown, writer and founder
of "Cosmopolitan" magazine, circa 1970.
34
00:02:01,871 --> 00:02:03,623
I just thought you were you.
35
00:02:03,707 --> 00:02:08,169
When have you ever
seen me wear bows in my hair like this?
36
00:02:08,252 --> 00:02:10,255
I don't know. Wednesday?
37
00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:14,342
It's gonna be an early night for me.
38
00:02:14,426 --> 00:02:17,387
I've lost all my sleep in
the Bermuda Schlepping Triangle
39
00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:20,098
between Che's apartment,
Brooklyn, and Columbia,
40
00:02:20,181 --> 00:02:23,268
so I'm wrecked and in a terrible mood.
41
00:02:23,351 --> 00:02:24,728
Now see, you did come in a costume.
42
00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:27,605
-You came as a giant bummer.
-Yeah.
43
00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:30,025
-Thank you so much for coming.
-Thanks for having us.
44
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:33,570
-Guys!
-Hi!
45
00:02:33,653 --> 00:02:36,281
-It's a costume party!
-I'm Helen Gurley Brown.
46
00:02:36,364 --> 00:02:39,576
I have seen you wear that dress before.
It is not a costume.
47
00:02:39,659 --> 00:02:41,786
Charlotte, did you really think
I was gonna come as Belle
48
00:02:41,870 --> 00:02:43,329
from "Beauty and the Beast"?
49
00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:45,373
I knew this would be an issue.
50
00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:46,958
-So--
-Ooh...
51
00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:50,420
I've come as the comic disaster
that is my life.
52
00:02:50,503 --> 00:02:52,255
For the record,
you're not in a costume either.
53
00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:53,340
Yeah.
54
00:02:53,423 --> 00:02:55,425
Yes, I am! I'm Elizabeth Jennings.
55
00:02:55,966 --> 00:02:57,927
You know, from "The Americans."
56
00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:00,055
No, still think it's you.
57
00:03:00,138 --> 00:03:01,598
Okay, wait. You have to see us together.
58
00:03:01,681 --> 00:03:03,892
Harry! Honey, honey, come here.
59
00:03:05,602 --> 00:03:06,895
Okay, yes!
60
00:03:06,978 --> 00:03:10,648
Now we know it's not you
'cause Harry has hair.
61
00:03:10,732 --> 00:03:15,695
We are a husband and wife team
of Russian spies in the '80s.
62
00:03:15,779 --> 00:03:19,366
I'm Keri Russell, and he is Matthew Rhys.
63
00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:23,078
See? I have smokey eye,
hair on one side.
64
00:03:25,622 --> 00:03:27,415
Babe, how come nobody's gettin' this?
65
00:03:27,499 --> 00:03:28,958
I've no idea what you're talkin' about,
66
00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:30,835
but I am totally on board
with Harry's hair.
67
00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:31,795
Right?
68
00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:33,963
Right? This is me in eighth grade!
69
00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:54,025
If one more foodie asks
if I'm supposed to be Padma Lakshmi,
70
00:03:54,109 --> 00:03:56,486
I will file a class-action lawsuit.
71
00:03:56,569 --> 00:03:59,906
Okay, we have a winner.
72
00:04:00,448 --> 00:04:03,159
Thank you.
Gettin' my little Eartha Kitt on.
73
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:05,954
And for what? Not one fine man here.
74
00:04:06,037 --> 00:04:08,456
Sweetie, complete waste of Lycra.
75
00:04:08,540 --> 00:04:11,668
It's a charity event with all married men
and dad bods.
76
00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:14,587
I saw a Captain Jack Sparrow over there.
He's kinda hot.
77
00:04:14,671 --> 00:04:16,630
I saw him, too. He's a woman.
78
00:04:16,714 --> 00:04:18,007
Well, I need a man.
79
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:19,426
And my free one-month subscription
80
00:04:19,509 --> 00:04:21,344
in Chocolate Singles
only got me cyber-stalked
81
00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:23,138
by a white guy named Jeff.
82
00:04:23,221 --> 00:04:24,597
So, white chocolate?
83
00:04:24,681 --> 00:04:26,391
And we all know
white chocolate isn't real.
84
00:04:26,474 --> 00:04:29,144
Fret not, I will take you to the place
85
00:04:29,227 --> 00:04:31,312
-to meet single men.
-Which is?
86
00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:33,148
A sperm bank? A monastery?
87
00:04:33,231 --> 00:04:34,399
A Marvel movie?
88
00:04:34,482 --> 00:04:36,609
A five-star hotel bar.
89
00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:38,862
Super expensive rooms,
so you know he has coin,
90
00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:41,489
and deadbeats aren't allowed to wander in
off the street.
91
00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:45,952
So, what do you say, Carrie?
Do we show this newbie the ropes?
92
00:04:46,703 --> 00:04:48,163
Yeah, sure. I'm in.
93
00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:50,123
You are?
94
00:04:51,499 --> 00:04:53,001
I'm kinda surprised.
95
00:04:53,084 --> 00:04:54,377
"I'm a mouse on the outside,
96
00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:57,464
but inside, I'm this tiger,
and I have to get on with it."
97
00:04:57,547 --> 00:04:59,674
It's a quote from Helen Gurley Brown.
98
00:05:09,934 --> 00:05:10,935
I'm out.
99
00:05:11,561 --> 00:05:12,854
You finally made it!
100
00:05:13,646 --> 00:05:17,317
You are one lucky Frankenstein.
101
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:18,610
Thanks.
102
00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:21,071
Why did I go through the trouble
103
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:24,074
of renting you a very expensive
George Washington outfit
104
00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:26,409
-and you don't even wear it?
-Baby, this is a public event.
105
00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:29,371
I didn't wanna end up on Page Six
in a powdered wig.
106
00:05:29,454 --> 00:05:32,457
Also, not great press optics,
you dirty dancing with the Devil.
107
00:05:32,540 --> 00:05:33,707
Well, hon, he's gay.
108
00:05:33,792 --> 00:05:35,126
People don't know that.
109
00:05:35,919 --> 00:05:39,714
He knew the Left Eye, the T-Boz,
and the Chilli parts verbatim. They know.
110
00:05:39,798 --> 00:05:41,883
Well, it wasn't very dignified.
111
00:05:41,966 --> 00:05:45,220
And besides, this political run
was your idea, remember?
112
00:05:45,303 --> 00:05:48,932
Well, it wasn't my idea
for you to lose all sense of fun.
113
00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:51,851
It's Halloween. Loosen up a bit.
114
00:05:52,727 --> 00:05:55,980
It was on FX for seven seasons.
115
00:05:56,064 --> 00:05:58,983
It won countless Emmys.
And a Peabody.
116
00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:01,277
I look exactly like her.
117
00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:05,824
Like Batman is so original.
118
00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:15,583
Hail Spartacus!
119
00:06:16,167 --> 00:06:18,128
I'd recognize those thighs anywhere.
120
00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:23,091
Straightest party ever.
We're the only two gay guys here.
121
00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:25,051
Anthony, from the gym.
122
00:06:26,344 --> 00:06:27,971
Still can't place me?
123
00:06:28,638 --> 00:06:32,225
Imagine my hand
surrounded by a lotta steam.
124
00:06:33,183 --> 00:06:34,519
This is my wife.
125
00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:44,571
Yeah, straight guy with abs like that.
126
00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:55,665
Are you really going to a hotel bar
to look for men?
127
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:58,710
Well, if you want a man in your life,
128
00:06:58,793 --> 00:07:02,172
ya can't just sit home
and wait for him to come to you.
129
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:04,966
All right, Helen Gurley Brown.
130
00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:08,053
Actually, that one was me.
131
00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:29,157
The British are coming.
132
00:07:32,159 --> 00:07:33,745
-That's Paul Revere.
-I know,
133
00:07:33,828 --> 00:07:35,663
but the founding father
never said anything famous
134
00:07:35,747 --> 00:07:37,874
with the word "coming" in it, so
135
00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:39,959
just go with it.
136
00:07:42,253 --> 00:07:43,838
You look bizarrely hot.
137
00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:50,470
But before we get down
to business, Mr. President,
138
00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:53,181
I know you're running
for City Comptroller and all
139
00:07:53,264 --> 00:07:56,476
but you don't get to "comptroll" me.
140
00:07:58,103 --> 00:08:01,856
The message from the councilwoman
on the comforter
141
00:08:02,691 --> 00:08:04,818
-is received.
-You sure?
142
00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:06,111
Oh, yes.
143
00:08:06,528 --> 00:08:08,154
And I cannot tell a lie.
144
00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:11,491
Don't, don't touch my hair.
145
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:14,911
Isn't that what you always say?
146
00:08:18,415 --> 00:08:20,667
Nobody can challenge him
if he has the capability
147
00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:22,293
to launch America's nuclear arsenal.
148
00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:24,963
What more do you need?
A written manifesto?
149
00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:28,216
This show is brilliant. Everyone's insane.
150
00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:31,052
Mom, Dad, you will not believe
what just happened!
151
00:08:31,136 --> 00:08:32,345
Can it wait till after this scene?
152
00:08:32,429 --> 00:08:34,556
No. I was at the park
and I landed an ollie
153
00:08:34,639 --> 00:08:36,765
and this cool guy came up to me
and said I was awesome
154
00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:39,227
and wanted to know if I ever thought
about modeling.
155
00:08:39,309 --> 00:08:41,020
What are you saying? What cool guy?
156
00:08:41,104 --> 00:08:42,647
At the park. He wants you to call him.
157
00:08:42,731 --> 00:08:44,899
We are not callin'
some creep from the park.
158
00:08:44,983 --> 00:08:46,443
No, we certainly are not.
159
00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:48,111
Oh, my God.
160
00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:50,655
This is Ralph Lauren.
161
00:08:50,739 --> 00:08:52,449
This guy works for Ralph Lauren?
162
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:53,992
You know who else works for Ralph Lauren?
163
00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:55,869
Me, as soon as I go to Kinko's
164
00:08:55,952 --> 00:08:57,662
and make a bunch of fake business cards.
165
00:08:57,746 --> 00:09:01,666
This is embossed
with the Ralph Lauren logo.
166
00:09:01,750 --> 00:09:03,460
It's his real logo!
167
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,503
Please, please, please,
please can we call him?
168
00:09:05,587 --> 00:09:08,715
-It'd be so awesome!
-It is a scam.
169
00:09:08,798 --> 00:09:10,550
You think some guy
hangin' around a bunch of kids
170
00:09:10,633 --> 00:09:12,552
at a skate park is scoutin' models?
171
00:09:13,094 --> 00:09:16,348
Honey, this show has made you paranoid.
172
00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:18,266
What's the harm in calling?
173
00:09:18,350 --> 00:09:21,478
Because if this guy
really works for Ralph Lauren,
174
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:23,521
then he works for Ralph Lauren!
175
00:09:23,605 --> 00:09:24,522
Go, Mom!
176
00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:27,567
You know, in high school,
I was a model at the mall.
177
00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:29,194
And guess who I wore?
178
00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:30,612
Ralph Lauren.
179
00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:32,739
-Thank you.
-You're welcome.
180
00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:36,326
Last time I went to a bar to meet a man
181
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:38,119
my phone folded.
182
00:09:39,329 --> 00:09:41,247
Last time I went to a bar
to meet a man was
183
00:09:43,290 --> 00:09:44,459
never.
184
00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:45,835
-How is that possible?
-What?
185
00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:48,630
Andre and I started dating
when I was a junior in college
186
00:09:48,713 --> 00:09:51,091
and I met my high school
boyfriend at Model U.N.
187
00:09:51,174 --> 00:09:53,635
Always wondered who did Model U.N.
188
00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:57,389
So, by my calculations,
you've only seen two dicks.
189
00:09:57,472 --> 00:10:00,725
I saw more than that
last time I was on the subway.
190
00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:02,769
Do those count?
Well, then I've seen three.
191
00:10:03,687 --> 00:10:05,105
Can I ask how many you've seen?
192
00:10:05,188 --> 00:10:06,981
Enough that you can't surprise me.
193
00:10:07,732 --> 00:10:10,902
-Carrie?
-Oh, I'm still surprise-able.
194
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:16,241
Excuse me, ma'am, are you shocked
this bar doesn't carry Nettle Field gin?
195
00:10:16,324 --> 00:10:18,618
No, I'm shocked that you
are calling me "ma'am."
196
00:10:18,702 --> 00:10:21,705
Well, I was told that's how you
address royalty.
197
00:10:23,331 --> 00:10:27,419
See, now, I'd buy you a Nettle Field
gin martini but this bar doesn't carry it.
198
00:10:28,003 --> 00:10:31,631
Why do you keep saying "Nettle Field gin"
as if it's a thing?
199
00:10:32,007 --> 00:10:34,467
I rep the brand.
I'm trying to get into this hotel chain.
200
00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:39,514
Excuse me, bartender.
201
00:10:39,931 --> 00:10:42,517
Can I have a Nettle Field gin martini?
202
00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:44,477
I just told him,
we don't carry that brand.
203
00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:46,855
Why not? I hear it's amazing.
204
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:51,985
I owe you a bottle.
205
00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:53,486
Only one?
206
00:10:53,570 --> 00:10:56,448
Mama done hooked a fish.
207
00:11:00,035 --> 00:11:02,120
Oh, my God.
208
00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:03,455
Wait.
209
00:11:04,581 --> 00:11:06,833
Is this a bar or an aquarium?
210
00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:09,502
I think I just found my chocolate single.
211
00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:11,504
-Hi.
-Evening.
212
00:11:11,588 --> 00:11:12,589
Hello.
213
00:11:14,966 --> 00:11:17,594
-My name is Ian.
-Hi, Ian.
214
00:11:18,303 --> 00:11:21,139
May I buy you a drink?
215
00:11:21,765 --> 00:11:22,640
Sure.
216
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:28,229
Well, perfect time for Wordle.
217
00:11:33,610 --> 00:11:36,654
You are very, very hot, your highness.
218
00:11:36,738 --> 00:11:38,740
Thank you. So are you.
219
00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:47,624
Look, I just wanna put this out there,
it has nothing to do with you
220
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:49,959
but, sometimes, I suffer from ED.
221
00:11:51,670 --> 00:11:53,296
Erectile dysfunction.
222
00:11:54,422 --> 00:11:55,298
Got it.
223
00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:58,760
I appreciate the sensitivity,
but the way things are going tonight,
224
00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:01,429
I just don't think
that's gonna be an issue.
225
00:12:04,349 --> 00:12:06,393
-So, we're cool?
-Yeah, we're cool.
226
00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:07,894
We're cool.
227
00:12:09,646 --> 00:12:12,148
Some ladies are not cool with it.
228
00:12:13,817 --> 00:12:16,444
Well, I guess some women
might feel a little insecure
229
00:12:16,528 --> 00:12:17,862
when--
230
00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:31,251
Only really takes a sec.
231
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:34,587
-That's cool.
-Okay.
232
00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:40,260
-Make this count. Last round, last round.
-I can't, I'm too drunk!
233
00:12:41,970 --> 00:12:45,015
-Period!
-I'm out of rolling papers.
234
00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:47,142
-Carry on without me.
-Okay. Gimme a light.
235
00:12:47,225 --> 00:12:48,226
But just, like, keep it down.
236
00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:51,688
Somebody's asleep in the next room!
237
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:57,193
Oh, shit. Fuck.
238
00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:59,195
It's okay. I'm awake.
239
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:02,907
Oh, God. Why don't--
Do you not have the earplugs in?
240
00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:04,325
They don't work.
241
00:13:05,326 --> 00:13:09,456
-What time is it?
-It's 3:30.
242
00:13:09,539 --> 00:13:11,708
-Oh, my God!
-I just go back to sleep.
243
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:13,877
-I have to be up at five.
-I am so sorry.
244
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,713
I just need rolling papers,
but we're gonna totally keep it down.
245
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:18,673
Okay? Ow! Fuck! Shit!
246
00:13:20,508 --> 00:13:22,927
I'm gonna burn that fucking chair.
247
00:13:30,894 --> 00:13:32,604
Good morning.
248
00:13:43,698 --> 00:13:45,325
There she is.
249
00:13:45,408 --> 00:13:47,035
Sorry I had to cancel lunch.
250
00:13:47,118 --> 00:13:50,121
I got a late start today
because that guy stayed over.
251
00:13:50,205 --> 00:13:52,040
Really, really? How was that?
252
00:13:52,123 --> 00:13:54,918
Let's just say I'm still surprise-able.
253
00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:57,629
-He had a penis pump.
-What?
254
00:13:57,712 --> 00:13:59,673
-Bike lane! Bike lane!
-He had to pump up his dick.
255
00:13:59,756 --> 00:14:00,882
Bike lane! Bike lane!
256
00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:02,884
-Bike lane!
-Oh, my God!
257
00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:04,052
-Oh, my God!
-Exactly!
258
00:14:04,135 --> 00:14:06,846
No, not you.
Oh, my God, I have to go.
259
00:14:06,930 --> 00:14:08,556
I think I may have killed a man.
260
00:14:09,057 --> 00:14:11,017
You can't stop
in the middle of a bike lane!
261
00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:13,103
Oh, my God!
I know, I know, I know that.
262
00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:14,771
-I know. I'm so sorry.
-Fuck.
263
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,022
My friend was telling me something
264
00:14:16,106 --> 00:14:17,732
that literally stopped me in my tracks.
265
00:14:17,816 --> 00:14:20,276
Never, never mind.
I'm so sorry. Are you okay?
266
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:21,986
Do you want me to call an ambulance,
maybe?
267
00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:22,946
No.
268
00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:24,239
-Here let me, let me--
-God!
269
00:14:24,322 --> 00:14:25,907
Not my arm.
270
00:14:25,990 --> 00:14:28,451
-Sorry. I'm so sorry.
-God.
271
00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:30,286
It's my wrist.
272
00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:32,497
-It might be sprained. At least I--
-Really?
273
00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:35,375
I hope it's-- Ow.
I hope it's only sprained.
274
00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:37,794
Well, can I take you to an Urgent Care?
275
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:41,089
'Cause I also-- I think I heard a crack,
and a crack is never good.
276
00:14:41,172 --> 00:14:43,633
-Probably just my helmet.
-There's one on 14th Street.
277
00:14:43,717 --> 00:14:47,262
I know, because--
Once I saw an Olsen twin go in there.
278
00:14:47,345 --> 00:14:50,348
I mean, that's why it,
that's why it stuck in my mind, you know,
279
00:14:50,432 --> 00:14:54,936
because, like,
what kind of Urgent Care on 14th Street
280
00:14:55,020 --> 00:14:57,272
would an Olsen twin need, you know?
281
00:14:57,355 --> 00:14:59,399
Do they live around here, you know?
282
00:14:59,482 --> 00:15:02,694
I'm sorry, I'm just-- I'm so--
I'm nervously talking 'cause I'm--
283
00:15:02,777 --> 00:15:05,697
Would you please-- Can I please
take you to the Urgent Care?
284
00:15:05,780 --> 00:15:10,493
All right, yeah, maybe 'cause my wrist
is really starting to pound.
285
00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:12,037
Okay.
286
00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:15,540
-I'll get your bike for you.
-Yeah, please. Oh, God.
287
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:18,126
Here, just--
288
00:15:18,209 --> 00:15:21,171
I got it, I got it. Watch-- I'm so sorry.
289
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:24,382
I got a busy day,
so I hope that they're quick.
290
00:15:24,466 --> 00:15:27,177
Well, I mean,
"urgent" is in their name, so...
291
00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:28,428
Yeah, not in yours.
292
00:15:28,511 --> 00:15:31,222
No, sorry. We'll go this way.
293
00:15:31,306 --> 00:15:33,183
-I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
-Fuck.
294
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:35,435
I never, ever--
I'm not one of those people.
295
00:15:35,518 --> 00:15:38,480
I've lived here forever.
I never stop in a bike lane.
296
00:15:38,897 --> 00:15:41,608
Hi, I know we're at the back of the line,
but I heard him hit his head
297
00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:43,151
and I'm worried about a clot.
298
00:15:43,234 --> 00:15:45,904
Ma'am, we will get to you
as soon as we can. I promise.
299
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:47,197
No, I get it. I do.
300
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:50,492
I just don't wanna be
responsible for a clot.
301
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:53,495
Ya know? I've gotta cover my bases.
302
00:15:53,578 --> 00:15:56,414
You wanna move it along?
Go fill these out for your friend.
303
00:15:56,498 --> 00:15:58,917
Okay. Thank you. Will do. Thank you.
304
00:16:00,377 --> 00:16:04,464
Thank you. Shit, this is
so not a good time for a broken wrist.
305
00:16:04,547 --> 00:16:07,217
Broken?
What happened to a sprain?
306
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:10,053
Well, it's kind of killing me
to text, so...
307
00:16:11,096 --> 00:16:12,389
-Here.
-Well, do you want me to help
308
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:14,099
you fill these forms out? Yeah?
309
00:16:14,724 --> 00:16:17,143
-Oh, yeah. Thank you.
-Okay.
310
00:16:17,227 --> 00:16:18,895
No problem. Of course.
311
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:22,273
Okay, name and date of birth.
312
00:16:22,357 --> 00:16:24,150
George Campbell.
313
00:16:24,234 --> 00:16:26,986
George Campbell. C-A-M--
314
00:16:27,070 --> 00:16:28,655
-P-B-E-L-L.
-P-- E-L-L.
315
00:16:28,738 --> 00:16:29,698
-Yep.
-Date of birth?
316
00:16:29,781 --> 00:16:32,450
10-17-68.
317
00:16:33,034 --> 00:16:34,327
Happy belated birthday.
318
00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:36,579
Address?
319
00:16:37,414 --> 00:16:39,457
-245 East 29th.
-Two--
320
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:46,006
Really? Oh, my God, that's so funny.
I'm 245 East 73rd Street.
321
00:16:46,089 --> 00:16:47,090
We're related.
322
00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:51,052
Okay, moving on to the tougher stuff.
323
00:16:52,137 --> 00:16:54,055
Emergency contact.
324
00:16:54,139 --> 00:16:55,432
My partner, Paul Bennett.
325
00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:58,518
-B-E-N-N-E-T-T.
-Partner, gotcha.
326
00:16:59,728 --> 00:17:02,230
No, not husband partner.
327
00:17:03,314 --> 00:17:04,482
Business partner.
328
00:17:05,275 --> 00:17:07,152
Yeah. Never been married.
329
00:17:07,861 --> 00:17:08,737
Okay.
330
00:17:08,819 --> 00:17:10,195
Speak of the Devil.
331
00:17:11,489 --> 00:17:13,575
-Hi, Paul.
-Man, where are you?
332
00:17:13,657 --> 00:17:15,535
The final version
of that app deck is due--
333
00:17:15,617 --> 00:17:18,246
In two days. Believe me, I know.
334
00:17:18,329 --> 00:17:19,748
I am at Urgent Care,
335
00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:22,166
-so here.
-No, this is urgent. Okay?
336
00:17:22,250 --> 00:17:25,045
We're running out of buyers.
It's do or die!
337
00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:26,796
Yeah, all right, let me finish.
338
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:32,719
I am here, stuck in whatever the opposite
of a hit-and-run is. Meet Carrie.
339
00:17:33,178 --> 00:17:34,804
Hi, hi.
340
00:17:35,305 --> 00:17:38,266
Again, I'm mortified about this.
341
00:17:38,350 --> 00:17:40,560
I'll never get used to those bike lanes.
342
00:17:40,643 --> 00:17:43,897
They didn't have 'em when
I came to New York in 1822.
343
00:17:43,980 --> 00:17:45,857
-George?
-Sir, with the wrist?
344
00:17:45,940 --> 00:17:47,734
You can go back to exam room two.
345
00:17:47,817 --> 00:17:48,902
What is goin' on over there?
346
00:17:48,985 --> 00:17:49,944
Paul, I'll call you back.
347
00:17:51,780 --> 00:17:53,156
-Okay.
-Do you need help with--
348
00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:55,408
Nah, I'm good. I'll just take this.
349
00:17:56,284 --> 00:17:58,161
-And I'll take that.
-Yep.
350
00:17:58,244 --> 00:18:00,747
And thank you.
351
00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:02,499
-Of course. Yeah.
-Yeah.
352
00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:03,750
I'll say hi to the Olsens.
353
00:18:06,628 --> 00:18:09,589
-I'm home!
-Hi, Dad!
354
00:18:10,131 --> 00:18:12,258
Whoa! Rock is helpin' to make dinner.
355
00:18:13,176 --> 00:18:14,719
What? Did I come home to the wrong house?
356
00:18:15,553 --> 00:18:17,180
What is this Norman Rockwell scene here?
357
00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:19,849
Honey, we have been
doing some more research
358
00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:21,476
on the Ralph Lauren shoot.
359
00:18:21,559 --> 00:18:24,145
Honey, absolutely not.
360
00:18:24,938 --> 00:18:27,982
I'm just-- I'm really--
I'm smellin' a "Taken" type
361
00:18:28,066 --> 00:18:30,652
kidnapping vibe here,
and I just--
362
00:18:31,111 --> 00:18:32,904
I don't have the muscle mass
to rescue Rock
363
00:18:32,987 --> 00:18:34,781
from a compound in Belize.
364
00:18:34,864 --> 00:18:36,491
Dad, it's not a kidnapping vibe.
365
00:18:36,574 --> 00:18:38,827
We Zoomed with the advertising team
366
00:18:38,910 --> 00:18:42,664
and it's actually quite legitimate
and impressive.
367
00:18:42,747 --> 00:18:47,961
It is a progressive family concept
and Rock will be wearing a Polo shirt,
368
00:18:48,044 --> 00:18:51,756
exactly what I wore as a teen model!
369
00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:54,134
Teen model. Next stop, rehab.
370
00:18:54,217 --> 00:18:57,387
-Mom's not a junkie.
-That's right! I'm not.
371
00:18:57,470 --> 00:19:00,473
Harry, you are being ridiculous.
372
00:19:00,557 --> 00:19:04,978
Rock really wants to do this
and they've come up with a great idea
373
00:19:05,061 --> 00:19:07,147
of how they would spend
the money they would make.
374
00:19:07,230 --> 00:19:09,274
Plant some trees in Israel!
375
00:19:11,317 --> 00:19:16,031
Look, even if it is legit,
it's gonna be exploitative.
376
00:19:16,114 --> 00:19:17,490
The next thing ya know, they're gonna be
377
00:19:17,574 --> 00:19:19,868
usin' Rock's likeness
in God knows what kinda ad.
378
00:19:19,951 --> 00:19:22,996
Harry, this is a Polo campaign.
379
00:19:23,079 --> 00:19:25,915
-What could they do?
-Dad, I hear you.
380
00:19:25,999 --> 00:19:28,335
So you don't have to come
'cause Mom's gonna take me.
381
00:19:29,044 --> 00:19:30,587
It'll be awesome.
382
00:19:31,963 --> 00:19:33,381
Slippery slope.
383
00:19:35,342 --> 00:19:38,219
I don't know why they call this place
Urgent Care.
384
00:19:38,303 --> 00:19:40,221
It should be called
"I Hope You Have Nothing Else
385
00:19:40,305 --> 00:19:42,182
Planned for the Rest of the Day" Care.
386
00:19:42,265 --> 00:19:43,641
Why are you still there?
387
00:19:43,725 --> 00:19:46,895
Because I made the mistake
of telling him my name,
388
00:19:46,978 --> 00:19:48,688
so now I'm implicated.
389
00:19:48,772 --> 00:19:51,941
I don't wanna get sued.
I'm Google-able.
390
00:19:52,025 --> 00:19:54,778
And, you know, the poor guy can't type.
391
00:19:54,861 --> 00:19:59,491
He's got this big sales presentation
in two days
392
00:19:59,574 --> 00:20:03,745
and it's all about an app
he's desperate to sell. At his age?
393
00:20:03,828 --> 00:20:05,747
I mean, oh, God.
394
00:20:05,830 --> 00:20:08,917
I just hope I didn't ruin his big chance.
395
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:10,585
Maybe I should just write him a check.
396
00:20:10,669 --> 00:20:13,171
You're a pushover, like me.
397
00:20:14,047 --> 00:20:16,132
Since when are you a pushover?
398
00:20:16,216 --> 00:20:20,553
Since last night.
I told pump gin guy I'd see him again.
399
00:20:20,637 --> 00:20:23,598
-Seriously?
-Dating at this age,
400
00:20:23,682 --> 00:20:25,308
there's always something.
401
00:20:25,392 --> 00:20:29,437
We had 30 minutes of great foreplay,
402
00:20:29,521 --> 00:20:33,400
a bizarre intermission,
followed by B-plus sex.
403
00:20:33,483 --> 00:20:34,984
Well, what are you gonna do
if he doesn't bring it?
404
00:20:35,068 --> 00:20:37,654
You gonna swap in the pump
you use for your yoga ball?
405
00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:41,866
With most of these guys, I have to
get myself off anyway at the end.
406
00:20:41,950 --> 00:20:46,454
And at least with him,
I had some laughs and a sexy spoon after.
407
00:20:46,871 --> 00:20:47,872
'Kay, gotta go. Bye.
408
00:20:50,500 --> 00:20:53,628
You're still here?
Waiting for a total stranger?
409
00:20:53,712 --> 00:20:55,880
-That is very cool.
-How's the wrist feeling?
410
00:20:55,964 --> 00:20:57,841
-It's pretty good.
-Oh, great.
411
00:20:57,924 --> 00:20:59,718
Great, I just wanted to make sure
it wasn't broken.
412
00:20:59,801 --> 00:21:03,513
Oh, yeah, no. It's definitely broken.
413
00:21:04,305 --> 00:21:06,391
That must have been the opioids talking.
414
00:21:06,474 --> 00:21:08,018
Sir, the card ya gave us
415
00:21:08,101 --> 00:21:10,228
earlier to put on file was declined.
416
00:21:10,311 --> 00:21:13,273
Oh, right. Shit, that one's no good.
417
00:21:14,399 --> 00:21:18,570
Yeah, here. Sorry, this one.
418
00:21:23,575 --> 00:21:26,411
Actually, sorry. Do that one.
419
00:21:26,494 --> 00:21:27,412
Sorry, yeah.
420
00:21:27,495 --> 00:21:29,497
It was so great.
421
00:21:29,581 --> 00:21:33,710
I felt like everyone on the street
was giving me that "you just had sex" eye.
422
00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:36,212
I love you having a hot walk of shame.
423
00:21:36,296 --> 00:21:40,800
I mean, I get it now.
These one-night stands are amazing!
424
00:21:40,884 --> 00:21:41,885
Afternoon, Professor Wallace.
425
00:21:41,968 --> 00:21:43,428
Good afternoon, ladies.
426
00:21:46,431 --> 00:21:49,601
We did it all night long
427
00:21:49,684 --> 00:21:52,354
and then, I got up,
got dressed, went home,
428
00:21:52,437 --> 00:21:54,981
and slept in my own bed until two.
429
00:21:55,065 --> 00:21:58,318
Jealous. Not of the sex, of the sleep.
430
00:21:59,194 --> 00:22:02,614
-What?
-I'm early mornings, Che's late nights.
431
00:22:02,697 --> 00:22:05,575
I would only sleep there on the weekends
when we could stay in bed,
432
00:22:05,658 --> 00:22:08,203
if I had literally anywhere else to go.
433
00:22:11,414 --> 00:22:13,416
You do. Andre's music room is empty.
434
00:22:13,500 --> 00:22:16,169
Crash there until Steve finds a new place.
435
00:22:17,837 --> 00:22:19,339
That's an incredible offer!
436
00:22:19,422 --> 00:22:22,300
But you don't really mean that.
You're just being nice.
437
00:22:22,384 --> 00:22:24,094
I'm not nice, and I do mean it.
438
00:22:24,177 --> 00:22:27,055
Miranda, I don't really like living alone.
439
00:22:27,138 --> 00:22:28,973
And you can't keep going
from Che's to Brooklyn
440
00:22:29,057 --> 00:22:30,809
-at five in the morning.
-I can't.
441
00:22:30,892 --> 00:22:33,436
I'm exhausted, and I look it.
442
00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:34,729
You do.
443
00:22:38,149 --> 00:22:39,693
I told you I'm not nice.
444
00:22:46,991 --> 00:22:48,118
Yes?
445
00:22:50,704 --> 00:22:53,456
If this is George Campbell, this is,
446
00:22:53,540 --> 00:22:56,042
this is your near-assassin,
Carrie Bradshaw.
447
00:22:57,210 --> 00:22:58,420
Come on in.
448
00:22:59,546 --> 00:23:00,964
Thank you.
449
00:23:13,518 --> 00:23:14,728
Hello?
450
00:23:21,234 --> 00:23:22,152
Hi there.
451
00:23:23,153 --> 00:23:24,529
-Hey.
-You again?
452
00:23:26,156 --> 00:23:30,076
Do you live here,
or are you temping for an art gallery?
453
00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:32,912
Nope, I live here.
454
00:23:32,996 --> 00:23:34,414
Oh, my.
455
00:23:34,914 --> 00:23:39,169
Was it previously a train station?
Or...
456
00:23:39,586 --> 00:23:42,672
-an airplane hangar?
-What a nice surprise.
457
00:23:43,423 --> 00:23:45,633
Unless you're here
to break my other wrist?
458
00:23:45,717 --> 00:23:47,635
No, no, no, no, no. No, I come in peace.
459
00:23:48,762 --> 00:23:51,431
Well, actually, it's guilt.
460
00:23:51,514 --> 00:23:56,895
And to offer lunch and my intact wrists
to help with your big presentation,
461
00:23:56,978 --> 00:23:58,480
if that's not weird.
462
00:23:59,522 --> 00:24:01,149
It's definitely weird.
463
00:24:01,816 --> 00:24:04,027
-Okay.
-But I can-- I will
464
00:24:04,110 --> 00:24:07,113
take your help because
I just ran out of Percocet.
465
00:24:07,197 --> 00:24:08,865
Oh, no.
466
00:24:09,366 --> 00:24:12,202
So, I assume you are
proficient in Python?
467
00:24:13,078 --> 00:24:15,413
I type 92 words a minute.
468
00:24:17,874 --> 00:24:20,210
Carrot Ginger, Matzo Ball, and Pea.
469
00:24:20,293 --> 00:24:22,754
There's enough food here for a week.
470
00:24:23,380 --> 00:24:26,132
Who has three different soups for lunch?
471
00:24:26,216 --> 00:24:29,177
-I was thinking maybe you could freeze it.
-What?
472
00:24:30,553 --> 00:24:32,597
I don't know when your last meal was.
473
00:24:33,306 --> 00:24:36,559
-Do I look like I'm starving?
-No.
474
00:24:37,477 --> 00:24:39,229
You know, just 'cause I'm not married
475
00:24:39,312 --> 00:24:42,232
doesn't mean that I don't know
how to cook or order in.
476
00:24:42,315 --> 00:24:44,317
No, it wasn't that.
477
00:24:44,401 --> 00:24:50,115
I just thought that perhaps you were
in a bit of a bind.
478
00:24:51,199 --> 00:24:55,829
Because, you know,
the frantic, last-chance business call
479
00:24:55,912 --> 00:24:58,998
and then the credit card situation.
480
00:25:00,667 --> 00:25:04,379
Okay, so, that credit card was closed out
'cause of fraud
481
00:25:05,255 --> 00:25:08,717
and Paul and I have just put
way too much time into that app
482
00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:10,677
to see it go down the tubes.
483
00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:13,513
You know, we've been hustling
in the tech space since college.
484
00:25:14,014 --> 00:25:18,643
Beer pong to all this. It's impressive.
485
00:25:18,727 --> 00:25:21,521
Yeah, we've sold three apps.
486
00:25:22,355 --> 00:25:27,569
Hopefully, four if you and I
can ever get down to work.
487
00:25:27,652 --> 00:25:30,071
-My wrists are all yours.
-Thank you.
488
00:25:31,906 --> 00:25:33,992
-Okay.
-Here, hold on, let me just--
489
00:25:34,075 --> 00:25:35,201
Just gotta wake it up.
490
00:25:40,665 --> 00:25:42,125
Tiny wrists.
491
00:25:45,670 --> 00:25:46,880
That okay?
492
00:26:11,613 --> 00:26:15,950
Dude, fuckin' hang a towel on the door
if you got company.
493
00:26:17,118 --> 00:26:18,995
Yeah, no, and I thought we used a sock.
494
00:26:19,079 --> 00:26:21,039
Not time for comedy.
495
00:26:21,873 --> 00:26:23,416
Your dry cleaner called me again.
496
00:26:23,500 --> 00:26:24,793
This has been there a month.
497
00:26:25,710 --> 00:26:29,339
Anyway, Paul, this is Carrie.
498
00:26:30,715 --> 00:26:33,677
-FaceTime from Urgent C--
-Oh, yeah, yeah. Hi.
499
00:26:34,135 --> 00:26:36,054
Yeah, she's helping me out
with my mangled wrist.
500
00:26:36,137 --> 00:26:39,808
Not what it looks like.
We're on a deadline, bro.
501
00:26:40,392 --> 00:26:41,726
It's game time.
502
00:26:47,691 --> 00:26:49,526
Well, I should
503
00:26:50,485 --> 00:26:53,488
probably take my tiny wrists and go.
504
00:26:54,406 --> 00:26:57,409
It's rush hour. Can I borrow a bike?
505
00:26:58,034 --> 00:26:59,869
Yeah, sure.
506
00:27:04,249 --> 00:27:05,375
Never gonna happen.
507
00:27:06,209 --> 00:27:09,129
I take cabs. Enjoy the soups.
508
00:27:09,212 --> 00:27:13,675
ABC is, like, so excited.
And my agent's flying in for the testing,
509
00:27:13,758 --> 00:27:15,510
which is apparently a good sign.
510
00:27:18,179 --> 00:27:20,306
This red curry is not a joke.
511
00:27:21,141 --> 00:27:23,143
You know that's what happens when you
order something spicy.
512
00:27:23,226 --> 00:27:26,813
Yes, but I needed
something to wake me up.
513
00:27:27,647 --> 00:27:32,485
I am awake, so please, go on.
What is testing?
514
00:27:32,569 --> 00:27:35,363
So they ask a bunch of randos
that they find in Times Square
515
00:27:35,447 --> 00:27:37,657
to give feedback on my pilot.
516
00:27:37,741 --> 00:27:41,619
I guess it helps them figure out
how to best market the show to America.
517
00:27:41,703 --> 00:27:42,662
Thank you.
518
00:27:47,208 --> 00:27:48,293
Okay.
519
00:27:50,045 --> 00:27:51,004
So
520
00:27:52,130 --> 00:27:54,174
if my body survives this meal--
521
00:27:55,300 --> 00:27:58,511
I'm thinking I may move
into Nya's spare room.
522
00:27:59,763 --> 00:28:02,515
Sometimes,
I feel like I'm cramping your style.
523
00:28:03,183 --> 00:28:05,643
Meaning my loud-ass friends are keeping
you awake all night?
524
00:28:05,727 --> 00:28:06,811
Yes.
525
00:28:06,895 --> 00:28:10,065
And my crazy-ass schedule
is keeping you awake all morning.
526
00:28:10,148 --> 00:28:11,232
Is that right? I hadn't noticed.
527
00:28:12,108 --> 00:28:14,194
Plus, Nya's place is, like,
528
00:28:14,277 --> 00:28:16,613
-two minutes away from my house.
-Yeah.
529
00:28:16,696 --> 00:28:18,823
I love having ya there,
but whatever works
530
00:28:18,907 --> 00:28:20,533
best for you is what I want.
531
00:28:20,617 --> 00:28:23,953
And I'm still gonna sleep over
plenty of nights.
532
00:28:24,037 --> 00:28:24,954
Don't worry.
533
00:28:26,164 --> 00:28:27,749
The only thing I'm worried about
534
00:28:28,208 --> 00:28:29,501
is that spice all over your lips
535
00:28:29,584 --> 00:28:31,920
'cause I'm not tryna
have curry-lingus later.
536
00:28:33,129 --> 00:28:38,551
Look, honey.
Oh my, look at how professional!
537
00:28:38,635 --> 00:28:40,303
I am so proud of you.
538
00:28:40,387 --> 00:28:41,763
I haven't even done anything yet.
539
00:28:41,846 --> 00:28:43,515
That's okay. It's already amazing.
540
00:28:43,598 --> 00:28:46,518
Hey, Rock. I'm Bee.
I'll be your stylist today.
541
00:28:46,601 --> 00:28:47,727
Hi. Nice to meet you.
542
00:28:47,811 --> 00:28:49,813
-This is my mom.
-Hi. I'm Charlotte.
543
00:28:49,896 --> 00:28:53,817
-Are you wearing all vintage Ralph?
-Head to toe!
544
00:28:53,900 --> 00:28:56,528
I've been wearing him
since I was a teen model.
545
00:28:58,321 --> 00:28:59,656
Right this way.
546
00:28:59,739 --> 00:29:02,033
Sorry, "model" just came out.
547
00:29:02,117 --> 00:29:03,993
Thank you so much for asking me
to be here, honey.
548
00:29:04,077 --> 00:29:06,663
-It means a lot.
-I'm so glad you can be here with me.
549
00:29:06,746 --> 00:29:07,706
Chin up!
550
00:29:07,789 --> 00:29:11,001
So, how are you feelin' about
the whole roommate situation?
551
00:29:11,084 --> 00:29:11,960
Great!
552
00:29:12,460 --> 00:29:13,920
We're both going through divorces,
553
00:29:14,004 --> 00:29:16,506
so we'll be like an angry
Laverne and Shirley.
554
00:29:17,674 --> 00:29:20,176
Okay, the room is very small
555
00:29:20,260 --> 00:29:23,138
so if ya see a single bed that looks
like it won't fall apart
556
00:29:23,221 --> 00:29:26,850
before Steve finds a new place,
throw yourself on it.
557
00:29:27,475 --> 00:29:28,977
Well, it's been a couple months.
558
00:29:29,060 --> 00:29:31,312
How long will that be, exactly?
559
00:29:31,396 --> 00:29:33,648
I don't feel I can ask him.
560
00:29:33,732 --> 00:29:37,068
I don't feel like I'm allowed to ask
anything right now.
561
00:29:37,152 --> 00:29:42,240
Except to ask me to sit on
someone else's used mattress?
562
00:29:43,033 --> 00:29:45,702
These single beds look so sad.
563
00:29:45,785 --> 00:29:48,496
Well, look closer,
'cause maybe they're not.
564
00:29:48,580 --> 00:29:50,248
Case in point,
565
00:29:50,331 --> 00:29:53,793
the single man
I'm having dinner with tonight.
566
00:29:53,877 --> 00:29:57,881
I heard "partner," I thought "gay."
I heard "crash," I thought "lawsuit."
567
00:29:57,964 --> 00:30:00,425
I heard "Urgent Care,"
I thought, "This'll be quick."
568
00:30:00,508 --> 00:30:05,555
I got everything wrong.
No more snap judgments.
569
00:30:05,638 --> 00:30:08,141
So you're saying
you think I should take this one?
570
00:30:08,224 --> 00:30:13,021
Absolutely not.
I see that mattress, I think "bedbugs."
571
00:30:14,314 --> 00:30:16,316
Rock, that's great!
572
00:30:17,317 --> 00:30:18,735
There we go!
573
00:30:19,194 --> 00:30:21,863
All right, Rock, turn around.
574
00:30:22,364 --> 00:30:24,324
Big smile, big smile! Lots of energy.
575
00:30:26,743 --> 00:30:28,620
All right, eyes wide.
576
00:30:29,204 --> 00:30:31,164
That was perfect, that was perfect.
577
00:30:34,376 --> 00:30:36,670
Yo, dude, what's happenin'?
578
00:30:36,753 --> 00:30:38,338
-What's good, man?
-You're crushin' it.
579
00:30:38,421 --> 00:30:40,423
Dude, this is a dope shoot.
580
00:30:40,507 --> 00:30:42,759
What's gonna be on that green screen, yo?
581
00:30:42,842 --> 00:30:45,637
Like somethin' dirty or sexy or what?
582
00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:47,806
All right, let's keep that head down.
583
00:30:47,889 --> 00:30:51,434
I don't know, bro,
but this is a family scene.
584
00:30:52,102 --> 00:30:53,728
There's kids here.
585
00:30:55,855 --> 00:30:58,983
Big smile, big smile!
There we go!
586
00:30:59,067 --> 00:31:00,026
Excellent, Rock. Just like that.
587
00:31:00,110 --> 00:31:03,571
Dude, you better get outta here right now
588
00:31:03,655 --> 00:31:06,157
-before Rock sees you.
-All right, another one right here.
589
00:31:06,241 --> 00:31:09,411
Baby, there's just somethin' about
this whole situation
590
00:31:09,494 --> 00:31:11,246
that does not sit right with me.
591
00:31:11,329 --> 00:31:16,584
Could it be that I am the fun parent
and you are the heavy for a change?
592
00:31:18,962 --> 00:31:19,921
Maybe.
593
00:31:20,005 --> 00:31:22,173
-Look at that one right there!
-If you don't get outta here
594
00:31:22,257 --> 00:31:24,259
before that kid sees you,
595
00:31:24,342 --> 00:31:27,095
all trust will be broken
596
00:31:27,178 --> 00:31:30,015
and you will never be
"fun dad" ever again.
597
00:31:30,098 --> 00:31:32,225
-Good point.
-Here we are!
598
00:31:32,308 --> 00:31:34,436
-Later, dude.
-All right, big smile.
599
00:31:34,519 --> 00:31:36,396
I thought you were returning that hair.
600
00:31:36,479 --> 00:31:39,065
-Carrie likes it.
-Over your right shoulder, right shoulder.
601
00:31:39,149 --> 00:31:41,401
And I lost the receipt.
602
00:31:41,484 --> 00:31:43,445
-Peace out.
-There it is-- Hat off.
603
00:31:45,864 --> 00:31:47,741
Look away like you're too cool,
too cool for school.
604
00:31:50,493 --> 00:31:52,287
That's great, Rock. Just like that.
605
00:31:54,247 --> 00:31:57,083
That scene with the apron was funny.
606
00:31:57,167 --> 00:32:02,922
Okay. Wow, so we love, we loved Che's dad.
607
00:32:03,006 --> 00:32:06,760
Any other positive feedback
on the character played by Tony Danza?
608
00:32:07,469 --> 00:32:10,305
-Yeah.
-Great head of hair. So lush.
609
00:32:11,765 --> 00:32:12,766
Everybody loves Tony.
610
00:32:12,849 --> 00:32:15,477
Negatives about our dad character?
611
00:32:15,894 --> 00:32:19,898
He looked uncomfortable
in that scene when she cried.
612
00:32:19,981 --> 00:32:22,150
When "they," "they" cried.
613
00:32:22,817 --> 00:32:25,445
Right, sorry.
614
00:32:26,112 --> 00:32:29,741
The crying sends a signal
that it's sad to be non-binary.
615
00:32:30,241 --> 00:32:32,118
That is what I said!
616
00:32:32,202 --> 00:32:34,162
I knew the scene was too much
and I told 'em that.
617
00:32:34,245 --> 00:32:35,789
I told 'em that repeatedly.
618
00:32:35,872 --> 00:32:37,707
-Repeatedly.
-Okay. We have that note.
619
00:32:37,791 --> 00:32:39,292
You've been pretty quiet.
620
00:32:39,376 --> 00:32:41,044
Can we hear some more from you?
621
00:32:41,127 --> 00:32:42,170
Me?
622
00:32:43,713 --> 00:32:49,010
I mean, the whole "Che" character
was like a walking boomer joke
623
00:32:49,094 --> 00:32:50,720
that felt so fake to me.
624
00:32:51,513 --> 00:32:56,184
Just some phony, sanitized, performative,
625
00:32:56,267 --> 00:32:59,270
cheesy-ass, dad joke,
626
00:33:00,355 --> 00:33:04,984
bullshit version of what
the non-binary experience is.
627
00:33:05,944 --> 00:33:07,320
It sucked.
628
00:33:10,198 --> 00:33:13,910
Also, they would not be able to afford
an apartment that big in Bushwick.
629
00:33:15,870 --> 00:33:18,581
Did anyone else
have anything negative to say
630
00:33:18,665 --> 00:33:21,292
about the character of Che,
played by Che Diaz?
631
00:33:25,714 --> 00:33:27,799
Okay, looks like we got a Yahtzee.
632
00:33:29,634 --> 00:33:31,761
Everybody thinks of TV today
633
00:33:31,845 --> 00:33:34,889
as a place where artistic people
get to be creative.
634
00:33:34,973 --> 00:33:38,143
But the truth is,
they just care about selling soap.
635
00:33:38,226 --> 00:33:44,441
TV is just a corporate conglomerate,
and those corporate assholes can eat shit.
636
00:33:44,524 --> 00:33:47,444
It's just like corporate law.
They will never get it.
637
00:33:47,527 --> 00:33:50,572
And I'm sorry, Times Square tourists?
638
00:33:50,655 --> 00:33:53,033
They can't possibly understand your story.
639
00:33:54,409 --> 00:33:56,661
A genderqueer person
from Brooklyn tanked it.
640
00:33:56,745 --> 00:33:58,913
That call came from inside the house.
641
00:33:58,997 --> 00:34:00,957
Well, they can eat shit, too then.
642
00:34:01,041 --> 00:34:04,627
And ABC was like,
"If that demographic doesn't like Che--"
643
00:34:04,711 --> 00:34:07,756
ABC can eat shit!
ABC can eat shit and die!
644
00:34:07,839 --> 00:34:10,425
Stop telling everybody to eat shit.
It's not helping.
645
00:34:10,507 --> 00:34:11,509
Sorry.
646
00:34:12,719 --> 00:34:14,596
How am I gonna afford this apartment?
647
00:34:15,847 --> 00:34:17,724
I was counting on that TV money.
648
00:34:17,806 --> 00:34:21,518
Okay, so you'll make another show.
649
00:34:22,228 --> 00:34:24,481
You'll make an even better show.
650
00:34:24,563 --> 00:34:26,274
Yeah, doesn't work that way.
651
00:34:26,358 --> 00:34:30,527
You mean it didn't before now,
but you're you.
652
00:34:30,612 --> 00:34:32,906
There is nobody like you.
653
00:34:33,572 --> 00:34:38,453
You just have to suck it up
and pull yourself outta this.
654
00:34:38,536 --> 00:34:41,039
-I'll be your cheerleader.
-Oh, Miranda, stop.
655
00:34:41,121 --> 00:34:42,748
-Let's go! Let's go!
-Stop.
656
00:34:42,831 --> 00:34:45,835
-Miranda, stop. Stop, stop!
-Let's go!
657
00:34:45,918 --> 00:34:48,545
I don't need a cheerleader!
This isn't a game, this is my life!
658
00:34:48,630 --> 00:34:52,007
This is my career! This is my identity!
659
00:34:52,092 --> 00:34:54,219
It took me 46 years
to figure out who I am
660
00:34:54,302 --> 00:34:57,806
and then a focus group one hour
to fuckin' destroy me!
661
00:34:57,889 --> 00:35:00,141
So, I don't need to be
all Tony Robbins'd right now.
662
00:35:00,225 --> 00:35:01,267
I got it.
663
00:35:02,519 --> 00:35:03,395
So, what can I do?
664
00:35:03,478 --> 00:35:05,313
I don't-- Nothing.
665
00:35:06,022 --> 00:35:07,482
I'm a mess.
666
00:35:09,984 --> 00:35:11,695
I just need some space.
667
00:35:14,114 --> 00:35:16,324
Would you mind staying the night
at your other place?
668
00:35:18,785 --> 00:35:21,788
Sure. Of course.
669
00:35:23,790 --> 00:35:26,418
Can I hug you before I go?
670
00:35:37,512 --> 00:35:38,513
Okay.
671
00:35:40,765 --> 00:35:42,392
So, I'll see ya tomorrow.
672
00:35:42,851 --> 00:35:45,353
You know, honestly,
I think I just need a bit--
673
00:35:45,437 --> 00:35:48,064
a few more days alone.
674
00:35:49,190 --> 00:35:50,483
Is that okay?
675
00:35:51,359 --> 00:35:52,986
Yeah, sure.
676
00:36:21,389 --> 00:36:22,682
My...
677
00:36:27,604 --> 00:36:29,147
That was great.
678
00:36:42,369 --> 00:36:43,787
That's not cool.
679
00:36:45,997 --> 00:36:47,874
Are you for real right now?
680
00:36:49,918 --> 00:36:50,794
Sir,
681
00:36:50,877 --> 00:36:54,255
do you seriously have
the balls to say something about my device
682
00:36:54,339 --> 00:36:56,883
when I wake up to your freshly washed
penis pump
683
00:36:56,966 --> 00:36:59,052
-drying in my dish rack?
-That's different.
684
00:36:59,135 --> 00:37:00,929
That was just to get us started.
This is so like...
685
00:37:02,305 --> 00:37:03,348
So noisy.
686
00:37:04,182 --> 00:37:06,893
I'm sorry if I'm bothering the man
whose penis pump goes
687
00:37:07,977 --> 00:37:09,270
in the middle of my bedroom.
688
00:37:17,237 --> 00:37:18,446
Not cool.
689
00:37:20,490 --> 00:37:22,117
So not cool.
690
00:37:35,046 --> 00:37:36,297
Seriously?
691
00:37:37,090 --> 00:37:38,842
Not cool!
692
00:37:55,650 --> 00:37:56,526
Look at you.
693
00:37:58,236 --> 00:38:01,156
-Little help here?
-Sorry. No, I'm sorry.
694
00:38:02,157 --> 00:38:05,243
They're tiny tender buttons.
695
00:38:16,171 --> 00:38:20,383
Here wait one second.
That's probably Paul.
696
00:38:21,092 --> 00:38:22,302
I just need to get this.
697
00:38:22,385 --> 00:38:24,721
-Sure.
-Give me one second.
698
00:38:26,556 --> 00:38:29,351
-Dude, what is up?
-Dude, where's the final deck?
699
00:38:29,434 --> 00:38:31,436
I messengered it to you.
700
00:38:31,895 --> 00:38:34,564
I have no final deck.
701
00:38:34,647 --> 00:38:38,860
Fuck. Fuck! Fuck, I forgot to send it.
702
00:38:39,152 --> 00:38:43,823
I'm gonna call my assistant and have him
come pick it up ASAP, okay?
703
00:38:43,907 --> 00:38:45,909
-Are you with her right now?
-Yeah, I'm...
704
00:38:45,992 --> 00:38:49,037
-Seriously, dude?
-...with her, but that is not relevant.
705
00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:50,413
Hey, it's not not relevant!
706
00:38:50,497 --> 00:38:53,541
I will get this to you pronto,
and my head is totally in the game.
707
00:38:54,167 --> 00:38:55,335
-I'll be right back.
-Okay.
708
00:38:55,418 --> 00:38:56,920
Goddammit!
709
00:38:57,003 --> 00:38:58,922
Just stop, all right?
710
00:38:59,005 --> 00:39:00,006
God.
711
00:39:04,969 --> 00:39:08,056
Look, it's nothing against you.
712
00:39:09,474 --> 00:39:10,892
Is it Carrie?
713
00:39:14,229 --> 00:39:15,855
Can you hear me?
714
00:39:15,939 --> 00:39:17,148
Yeah?
715
00:39:19,401 --> 00:39:22,487
Okay, I'm sorry about all this.
716
00:39:22,570 --> 00:39:26,616
Honestly, it's just--
it's been a few bumpy years.
717
00:39:26,700 --> 00:39:29,661
You know, he's creative and I'm business
718
00:39:29,744 --> 00:39:36,334
and sometimes I have to push
just to get him across that finish line
719
00:39:36,418 --> 00:39:37,544
which
720
00:39:38,336 --> 00:39:40,839
I guess it ends up making me look like
the bad guy
721
00:39:40,922 --> 00:39:43,925
and a piece of shit, and I'm not.
722
00:39:44,426 --> 00:39:48,555
I've been in this game
for 20-something years now
723
00:39:48,638 --> 00:39:52,100
and you know,
I feel like he's been just, kind of,
724
00:39:52,183 --> 00:39:56,354
falling off a little bit, like,
"Oh, you know, I'm just gonna give 70%,"
725
00:39:56,438 --> 00:39:59,065
like, that's cool. It's not fucking cool.
726
00:40:00,275 --> 00:40:02,277
I'm fucking frustrated, Carrie.
727
00:40:02,736 --> 00:40:03,945
George?
728
00:40:09,284 --> 00:40:12,037
-George?
-Be right there!
729
00:40:12,120 --> 00:40:14,080
Just gotta get this deck together!
730
00:40:15,623 --> 00:40:16,833
Hey.
731
00:40:17,417 --> 00:40:22,756
Hey, listen, I'm gonna go!
He's upset.
732
00:40:22,839 --> 00:40:25,383
Paul's great.
I don't want you to think he's a jerk.
733
00:40:25,467 --> 00:40:29,929
It's just this sale's a big deal for us,
and it's stressful as hell.
734
00:40:31,431 --> 00:40:34,851
You know how on your form
I checked "single"?
735
00:40:35,810 --> 00:40:38,438
Well, I think you actually are married
736
00:40:39,439 --> 00:40:41,024
to Paul.
737
00:40:41,107 --> 00:40:44,277
He's not just your business partner,
he's your wife.
738
00:40:44,361 --> 00:40:48,531
No, no, it's not like that.
We're more Lennon and McCartney.
739
00:40:49,866 --> 00:40:55,497
Well, that kinda makes me Yoko,
so, I'm gonna go.
740
00:40:56,289 --> 00:41:00,251
-You sure?
-Yep! Leaving!
741
00:41:00,335 --> 00:41:04,339
I wish you a long and happy marriage.
742
00:41:16,101 --> 00:41:17,018
Carrie?
743
00:41:25,819 --> 00:41:29,864
And just like that,
George and I were over.
744
00:41:29,948 --> 00:41:33,284
But at least I got back up on the bike.
53096
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