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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,338 --> 00:00:07,382 Oh, shit. 2 00:00:10,552 --> 00:00:11,886 I heard it. 3 00:00:13,054 --> 00:00:13,972 I'm sorry. 4 00:00:15,890 --> 00:00:17,058 What time is it? 5 00:00:17,142 --> 00:00:20,020 -It's five. -Oh, fuck. 6 00:00:20,103 --> 00:00:21,563 I didn't go to sleep till four. 7 00:00:21,646 --> 00:00:24,149 -I'm sorry. -Hey, come back to bed. 8 00:00:24,232 --> 00:00:25,817 -I can't. -What? 9 00:00:25,900 --> 00:00:28,028 I have an early class. 10 00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:30,363 If I don't go home first and wake Brady up, 11 00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:31,573 he'll sleep all day. 12 00:00:31,656 --> 00:00:34,159 Sleep all day. That sounds so good. 13 00:00:34,617 --> 00:00:37,412 Go to sleep. I'll be outta here in two minutes. 14 00:00:37,495 --> 00:00:38,371 Ow! 15 00:00:38,455 --> 00:00:39,831 Oh, my God. 16 00:00:39,914 --> 00:00:42,125 Shit. Sorry. 17 00:00:43,793 --> 00:00:44,878 Fuck. 18 00:01:10,236 --> 00:01:12,072 Morning, pumpkin! 19 00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:15,075 I got our pumpkin. 20 00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,369 And there's 21 00:01:18,661 --> 00:01:20,246 there's pancakes. 22 00:01:20,955 --> 00:01:23,041 Not pumpkin. Dropped the ball there. 23 00:01:23,124 --> 00:01:25,085 Mom, I told you, you don't have to come all the way over here 24 00:01:25,168 --> 00:01:26,670 every morning just to make me breakfast. 25 00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:28,755 I know, but I like it. 26 00:01:28,838 --> 00:01:30,840 And the two of you would starve if I didn't. 27 00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:35,512 Hey, so, after you eat, you wanna help me decorate the stoop? 28 00:01:36,262 --> 00:01:39,432 We can't be the only house on the block with no Halloween spirit. 29 00:01:39,515 --> 00:01:41,142 Isn't this house already scary enough? 30 00:01:47,315 --> 00:01:49,401 Charlotte is going to kill us 31 00:01:49,484 --> 00:01:52,320 for not wearing costumes to her fundraiser. 32 00:01:52,654 --> 00:01:53,988 I am wearing a costume. 33 00:01:54,906 --> 00:02:00,370 I'm Helen Gurley Brown, writer and founder of "Cosmopolitan" magazine, circa 1970. 34 00:02:01,871 --> 00:02:03,623 I just thought you were you. 35 00:02:03,707 --> 00:02:08,169 When have you ever seen me wear bows in my hair like this? 36 00:02:08,252 --> 00:02:10,255 I don't know. Wednesday? 37 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:14,342 It's gonna be an early night for me. 38 00:02:14,426 --> 00:02:17,387 I've lost all my sleep in the Bermuda Schlepping Triangle 39 00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:20,098 between Che's apartment, Brooklyn, and Columbia, 40 00:02:20,181 --> 00:02:23,268 so I'm wrecked and in a terrible mood. 41 00:02:23,351 --> 00:02:24,728 Now see, you did come in a costume. 42 00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:27,605 -You came as a giant bummer. -Yeah. 43 00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:30,025 -Thank you so much for coming. -Thanks for having us. 44 00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:33,570 -Guys! -Hi! 45 00:02:33,653 --> 00:02:36,281 -It's a costume party! -I'm Helen Gurley Brown. 46 00:02:36,364 --> 00:02:39,576 I have seen you wear that dress before. It is not a costume. 47 00:02:39,659 --> 00:02:41,786 Charlotte, did you really think I was gonna come as Belle 48 00:02:41,870 --> 00:02:43,329 from "Beauty and the Beast"? 49 00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:45,373 I knew this would be an issue. 50 00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:46,958 -So-- -Ooh... 51 00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:50,420 I've come as the comic disaster that is my life. 52 00:02:50,503 --> 00:02:52,255 For the record, you're not in a costume either. 53 00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:53,340 Yeah. 54 00:02:53,423 --> 00:02:55,425 Yes, I am! I'm Elizabeth Jennings. 55 00:02:55,966 --> 00:02:57,927 You know, from "The Americans." 56 00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:00,055 No, still think it's you. 57 00:03:00,138 --> 00:03:01,598 Okay, wait. You have to see us together. 58 00:03:01,681 --> 00:03:03,892 Harry! Honey, honey, come here. 59 00:03:05,602 --> 00:03:06,895 Okay, yes! 60 00:03:06,978 --> 00:03:10,648 Now we know it's not you 'cause Harry has hair. 61 00:03:10,732 --> 00:03:15,695 We are a husband and wife team of Russian spies in the '80s. 62 00:03:15,779 --> 00:03:19,366 I'm Keri Russell, and he is Matthew Rhys. 63 00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:23,078 See? I have smokey eye, hair on one side. 64 00:03:25,622 --> 00:03:27,415 Babe, how come nobody's gettin' this? 65 00:03:27,499 --> 00:03:28,958 I've no idea what you're talkin' about, 66 00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:30,835 but I am totally on board with Harry's hair. 67 00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:31,795 Right? 68 00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:33,963 Right? This is me in eighth grade! 69 00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:54,025 If one more foodie asks if I'm supposed to be Padma Lakshmi, 70 00:03:54,109 --> 00:03:56,486 I will file a class-action lawsuit. 71 00:03:56,569 --> 00:03:59,906 Okay, we have a winner. 72 00:04:00,448 --> 00:04:03,159 Thank you. Gettin' my little Eartha Kitt on. 73 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:05,954 And for what? Not one fine man here. 74 00:04:06,037 --> 00:04:08,456 Sweetie, complete waste of Lycra. 75 00:04:08,540 --> 00:04:11,668 It's a charity event with all married men and dad bods. 76 00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:14,587 I saw a Captain Jack Sparrow over there. He's kinda hot. 77 00:04:14,671 --> 00:04:16,630 I saw him, too. He's a woman. 78 00:04:16,714 --> 00:04:18,007 Well, I need a man. 79 00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:19,426 And my free one-month subscription 80 00:04:19,509 --> 00:04:21,344 in Chocolate Singles only got me cyber-stalked 81 00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:23,138 by a white guy named Jeff. 82 00:04:23,221 --> 00:04:24,597 So, white chocolate? 83 00:04:24,681 --> 00:04:26,391 And we all know white chocolate isn't real. 84 00:04:26,474 --> 00:04:29,144 Fret not, I will take you to the place 85 00:04:29,227 --> 00:04:31,312 -to meet single men. -Which is? 86 00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:33,148 A sperm bank? A monastery? 87 00:04:33,231 --> 00:04:34,399 A Marvel movie? 88 00:04:34,482 --> 00:04:36,609 A five-star hotel bar. 89 00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:38,862 Super expensive rooms, so you know he has coin, 90 00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:41,489 and deadbeats aren't allowed to wander in off the street. 91 00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:45,952 So, what do you say, Carrie? Do we show this newbie the ropes? 92 00:04:46,703 --> 00:04:48,163 Yeah, sure. I'm in. 93 00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:50,123 You are? 94 00:04:51,499 --> 00:04:53,001 I'm kinda surprised. 95 00:04:53,084 --> 00:04:54,377 "I'm a mouse on the outside, 96 00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:57,464 but inside, I'm this tiger, and I have to get on with it." 97 00:04:57,547 --> 00:04:59,674 It's a quote from Helen Gurley Brown. 98 00:05:09,934 --> 00:05:10,935 I'm out. 99 00:05:11,561 --> 00:05:12,854 You finally made it! 100 00:05:13,646 --> 00:05:17,317 You are one lucky Frankenstein. 101 00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:18,610 Thanks. 102 00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:21,071 Why did I go through the trouble 103 00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:24,074 of renting you a very expensive George Washington outfit 104 00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:26,409 -and you don't even wear it? -Baby, this is a public event. 105 00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:29,371 I didn't wanna end up on Page Six in a powdered wig. 106 00:05:29,454 --> 00:05:32,457 Also, not great press optics, you dirty dancing with the Devil. 107 00:05:32,540 --> 00:05:33,707 Well, hon, he's gay. 108 00:05:33,792 --> 00:05:35,126 People don't know that. 109 00:05:35,919 --> 00:05:39,714 He knew the Left Eye, the T-Boz, and the Chilli parts verbatim. They know. 110 00:05:39,798 --> 00:05:41,883 Well, it wasn't very dignified. 111 00:05:41,966 --> 00:05:45,220 And besides, this political run was your idea, remember? 112 00:05:45,303 --> 00:05:48,932 Well, it wasn't my idea for you to lose all sense of fun. 113 00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:51,851 It's Halloween. Loosen up a bit. 114 00:05:52,727 --> 00:05:55,980 It was on FX for seven seasons. 115 00:05:56,064 --> 00:05:58,983 It won countless Emmys. And a Peabody. 116 00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:01,277 I look exactly like her. 117 00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:05,824 Like Batman is so original. 118 00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:15,583 Hail Spartacus! 119 00:06:16,167 --> 00:06:18,128 I'd recognize those thighs anywhere. 120 00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:23,091 Straightest party ever. We're the only two gay guys here. 121 00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:25,051 Anthony, from the gym. 122 00:06:26,344 --> 00:06:27,971 Still can't place me? 123 00:06:28,638 --> 00:06:32,225 Imagine my hand surrounded by a lotta steam. 124 00:06:33,183 --> 00:06:34,519 This is my wife. 125 00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:44,571 Yeah, straight guy with abs like that. 126 00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:55,665 Are you really going to a hotel bar to look for men? 127 00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:58,710 Well, if you want a man in your life, 128 00:06:58,793 --> 00:07:02,172 ya can't just sit home and wait for him to come to you. 129 00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:04,966 All right, Helen Gurley Brown. 130 00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:08,053 Actually, that one was me. 131 00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:29,157 The British are coming. 132 00:07:32,159 --> 00:07:33,745 -That's Paul Revere. -I know, 133 00:07:33,828 --> 00:07:35,663 but the founding father never said anything famous 134 00:07:35,747 --> 00:07:37,874 with the word "coming" in it, so 135 00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:39,959 just go with it. 136 00:07:42,253 --> 00:07:43,838 You look bizarrely hot. 137 00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:50,470 But before we get down to business, Mr. President, 138 00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:53,181 I know you're running for City Comptroller and all 139 00:07:53,264 --> 00:07:56,476 but you don't get to "comptroll" me. 140 00:07:58,103 --> 00:08:01,856 The message from the councilwoman on the comforter 141 00:08:02,691 --> 00:08:04,818 -is received. -You sure? 142 00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:06,111 Oh, yes. 143 00:08:06,528 --> 00:08:08,154 And I cannot tell a lie. 144 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:11,491 Don't, don't touch my hair. 145 00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:14,911 Isn't that what you always say? 146 00:08:18,415 --> 00:08:20,667 Nobody can challenge him if he has the capability 147 00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:22,293 to launch America's nuclear arsenal. 148 00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:24,963 What more do you need? A written manifesto? 149 00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:28,216 This show is brilliant. Everyone's insane. 150 00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:31,052 Mom, Dad, you will not believe what just happened! 151 00:08:31,136 --> 00:08:32,345 Can it wait till after this scene? 152 00:08:32,429 --> 00:08:34,556 No. I was at the park and I landed an ollie 153 00:08:34,639 --> 00:08:36,765 and this cool guy came up to me and said I was awesome 154 00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:39,227 and wanted to know if I ever thought about modeling. 155 00:08:39,309 --> 00:08:41,020 What are you saying? What cool guy? 156 00:08:41,104 --> 00:08:42,647 At the park. He wants you to call him. 157 00:08:42,731 --> 00:08:44,899 We are not callin' some creep from the park. 158 00:08:44,983 --> 00:08:46,443 No, we certainly are not. 159 00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:48,111 Oh, my God. 160 00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:50,655 This is Ralph Lauren. 161 00:08:50,739 --> 00:08:52,449 This guy works for Ralph Lauren? 162 00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:53,992 You know who else works for Ralph Lauren? 163 00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:55,869 Me, as soon as I go to Kinko's 164 00:08:55,952 --> 00:08:57,662 and make a bunch of fake business cards. 165 00:08:57,746 --> 00:09:01,666 This is embossed with the Ralph Lauren logo. 166 00:09:01,750 --> 00:09:03,460 It's his real logo! 167 00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,503 Please, please, please, please can we call him? 168 00:09:05,587 --> 00:09:08,715 -It'd be so awesome! -It is a scam. 169 00:09:08,798 --> 00:09:10,550 You think some guy hangin' around a bunch of kids 170 00:09:10,633 --> 00:09:12,552 at a skate park is scoutin' models? 171 00:09:13,094 --> 00:09:16,348 Honey, this show has made you paranoid. 172 00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:18,266 What's the harm in calling? 173 00:09:18,350 --> 00:09:21,478 Because if this guy really works for Ralph Lauren, 174 00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:23,521 then he works for Ralph Lauren! 175 00:09:23,605 --> 00:09:24,522 Go, Mom! 176 00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:27,567 You know, in high school, I was a model at the mall. 177 00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:29,194 And guess who I wore? 178 00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:30,612 Ralph Lauren. 179 00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:32,739 -Thank you. -You're welcome. 180 00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:36,326 Last time I went to a bar to meet a man 181 00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:38,119 my phone folded. 182 00:09:39,329 --> 00:09:41,247 Last time I went to a bar to meet a man was 183 00:09:43,290 --> 00:09:44,459 never. 184 00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:45,835 -How is that possible? -What? 185 00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:48,630 Andre and I started dating when I was a junior in college 186 00:09:48,713 --> 00:09:51,091 and I met my high school boyfriend at Model U.N. 187 00:09:51,174 --> 00:09:53,635 Always wondered who did Model U.N. 188 00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:57,389 So, by my calculations, you've only seen two dicks. 189 00:09:57,472 --> 00:10:00,725 I saw more than that last time I was on the subway. 190 00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:02,769 Do those count? Well, then I've seen three. 191 00:10:03,687 --> 00:10:05,105 Can I ask how many you've seen? 192 00:10:05,188 --> 00:10:06,981 Enough that you can't surprise me. 193 00:10:07,732 --> 00:10:10,902 -Carrie? -Oh, I'm still surprise-able. 194 00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:16,241 Excuse me, ma'am, are you shocked this bar doesn't carry Nettle Field gin? 195 00:10:16,324 --> 00:10:18,618 No, I'm shocked that you are calling me "ma'am." 196 00:10:18,702 --> 00:10:21,705 Well, I was told that's how you address royalty. 197 00:10:23,331 --> 00:10:27,419 See, now, I'd buy you a Nettle Field gin martini but this bar doesn't carry it. 198 00:10:28,003 --> 00:10:31,631 Why do you keep saying "Nettle Field gin" as if it's a thing? 199 00:10:32,007 --> 00:10:34,467 I rep the brand. I'm trying to get into this hotel chain. 200 00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:39,514 Excuse me, bartender. 201 00:10:39,931 --> 00:10:42,517 Can I have a Nettle Field gin martini? 202 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:44,477 I just told him, we don't carry that brand. 203 00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:46,855 Why not? I hear it's amazing. 204 00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:51,985 I owe you a bottle. 205 00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:53,486 Only one? 206 00:10:53,570 --> 00:10:56,448 Mama done hooked a fish. 207 00:11:00,035 --> 00:11:02,120 Oh, my God. 208 00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:03,455 Wait. 209 00:11:04,581 --> 00:11:06,833 Is this a bar or an aquarium? 210 00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:09,502 I think I just found my chocolate single. 211 00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:11,504 -Hi. -Evening. 212 00:11:11,588 --> 00:11:12,589 Hello. 213 00:11:14,966 --> 00:11:17,594 -My name is Ian. -Hi, Ian. 214 00:11:18,303 --> 00:11:21,139 May I buy you a drink? 215 00:11:21,765 --> 00:11:22,640 Sure. 216 00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:28,229 Well, perfect time for Wordle. 217 00:11:33,610 --> 00:11:36,654 You are very, very hot, your highness. 218 00:11:36,738 --> 00:11:38,740 Thank you. So are you. 219 00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:47,624 Look, I just wanna put this out there, it has nothing to do with you 220 00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:49,959 but, sometimes, I suffer from ED. 221 00:11:51,670 --> 00:11:53,296 Erectile dysfunction. 222 00:11:54,422 --> 00:11:55,298 Got it. 223 00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:58,760 I appreciate the sensitivity, but the way things are going tonight, 224 00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:01,429 I just don't think that's gonna be an issue. 225 00:12:04,349 --> 00:12:06,393 -So, we're cool? -Yeah, we're cool. 226 00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:07,894 We're cool. 227 00:12:09,646 --> 00:12:12,148 Some ladies are not cool with it. 228 00:12:13,817 --> 00:12:16,444 Well, I guess some women might feel a little insecure 229 00:12:16,528 --> 00:12:17,862 when-- 230 00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:31,251 Only really takes a sec. 231 00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:34,587 -That's cool. -Okay. 232 00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:40,260 -Make this count. Last round, last round. -I can't, I'm too drunk! 233 00:12:41,970 --> 00:12:45,015 -Period! -I'm out of rolling papers. 234 00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:47,142 -Carry on without me. -Okay. Gimme a light. 235 00:12:47,225 --> 00:12:48,226 But just, like, keep it down. 236 00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:51,688 Somebody's asleep in the next room! 237 00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:57,193 Oh, shit. Fuck. 238 00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:59,195 It's okay. I'm awake. 239 00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:02,907 Oh, God. Why don't-- Do you not have the earplugs in? 240 00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:04,325 They don't work. 241 00:13:05,326 --> 00:13:09,456 -What time is it? -It's 3:30. 242 00:13:09,539 --> 00:13:11,708 -Oh, my God! -I just go back to sleep. 243 00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:13,877 -I have to be up at five. -I am so sorry. 244 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,713 I just need rolling papers, but we're gonna totally keep it down. 245 00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:18,673 Okay? Ow! Fuck! Shit! 246 00:13:20,508 --> 00:13:22,927 I'm gonna burn that fucking chair. 247 00:13:30,894 --> 00:13:32,604 Good morning. 248 00:13:43,698 --> 00:13:45,325 There she is. 249 00:13:45,408 --> 00:13:47,035 Sorry I had to cancel lunch. 250 00:13:47,118 --> 00:13:50,121 I got a late start today because that guy stayed over. 251 00:13:50,205 --> 00:13:52,040 Really, really? How was that? 252 00:13:52,123 --> 00:13:54,918 Let's just say I'm still surprise-able. 253 00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:57,629 -He had a penis pump. -What? 254 00:13:57,712 --> 00:13:59,673 -Bike lane! Bike lane! -He had to pump up his dick. 255 00:13:59,756 --> 00:14:00,882 Bike lane! Bike lane! 256 00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:02,884 -Bike lane! -Oh, my God! 257 00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:04,052 -Oh, my God! -Exactly! 258 00:14:04,135 --> 00:14:06,846 No, not you. Oh, my God, I have to go. 259 00:14:06,930 --> 00:14:08,556 I think I may have killed a man. 260 00:14:09,057 --> 00:14:11,017 You can't stop in the middle of a bike lane! 261 00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:13,103 Oh, my God! I know, I know, I know that. 262 00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:14,771 -I know. I'm so sorry. -Fuck. 263 00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,022 My friend was telling me something 264 00:14:16,106 --> 00:14:17,732 that literally stopped me in my tracks. 265 00:14:17,816 --> 00:14:20,276 Never, never mind. I'm so sorry. Are you okay? 266 00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:21,986 Do you want me to call an ambulance, maybe? 267 00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:22,946 No. 268 00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:24,239 -Here let me, let me-- -God! 269 00:14:24,322 --> 00:14:25,907 Not my arm. 270 00:14:25,990 --> 00:14:28,451 -Sorry. I'm so sorry. -God. 271 00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:30,286 It's my wrist. 272 00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:32,497 -It might be sprained. At least I-- -Really? 273 00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:35,375 I hope it's-- Ow. I hope it's only sprained. 274 00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:37,794 Well, can I take you to an Urgent Care? 275 00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:41,089 'Cause I also-- I think I heard a crack, and a crack is never good. 276 00:14:41,172 --> 00:14:43,633 -Probably just my helmet. -There's one on 14th Street. 277 00:14:43,717 --> 00:14:47,262 I know, because-- Once I saw an Olsen twin go in there. 278 00:14:47,345 --> 00:14:50,348 I mean, that's why it, that's why it stuck in my mind, you know, 279 00:14:50,432 --> 00:14:54,936 because, like, what kind of Urgent Care on 14th Street 280 00:14:55,020 --> 00:14:57,272 would an Olsen twin need, you know? 281 00:14:57,355 --> 00:14:59,399 Do they live around here, you know? 282 00:14:59,482 --> 00:15:02,694 I'm sorry, I'm just-- I'm so-- I'm nervously talking 'cause I'm-- 283 00:15:02,777 --> 00:15:05,697 Would you please-- Can I please take you to the Urgent Care? 284 00:15:05,780 --> 00:15:10,493 All right, yeah, maybe 'cause my wrist is really starting to pound. 285 00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:12,037 Okay. 286 00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:15,540 -I'll get your bike for you. -Yeah, please. Oh, God. 287 00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:18,126 Here, just-- 288 00:15:18,209 --> 00:15:21,171 I got it, I got it. Watch-- I'm so sorry. 289 00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:24,382 I got a busy day, so I hope that they're quick. 290 00:15:24,466 --> 00:15:27,177 Well, I mean, "urgent" is in their name, so... 291 00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:28,428 Yeah, not in yours. 292 00:15:28,511 --> 00:15:31,222 No, sorry. We'll go this way. 293 00:15:31,306 --> 00:15:33,183 -I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. -Fuck. 294 00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:35,435 I never, ever-- I'm not one of those people. 295 00:15:35,518 --> 00:15:38,480 I've lived here forever. I never stop in a bike lane. 296 00:15:38,897 --> 00:15:41,608 Hi, I know we're at the back of the line, but I heard him hit his head 297 00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:43,151 and I'm worried about a clot. 298 00:15:43,234 --> 00:15:45,904 Ma'am, we will get to you as soon as we can. I promise. 299 00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:47,197 No, I get it. I do. 300 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:50,492 I just don't wanna be responsible for a clot. 301 00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:53,495 Ya know? I've gotta cover my bases. 302 00:15:53,578 --> 00:15:56,414 You wanna move it along? Go fill these out for your friend. 303 00:15:56,498 --> 00:15:58,917 Okay. Thank you. Will do. Thank you. 304 00:16:00,377 --> 00:16:04,464 Thank you. Shit, this is so not a good time for a broken wrist. 305 00:16:04,547 --> 00:16:07,217 Broken? What happened to a sprain? 306 00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:10,053 Well, it's kind of killing me to text, so... 307 00:16:11,096 --> 00:16:12,389 -Here. -Well, do you want me to help 308 00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:14,099 you fill these forms out? Yeah? 309 00:16:14,724 --> 00:16:17,143 -Oh, yeah. Thank you. -Okay. 310 00:16:17,227 --> 00:16:18,895 No problem. Of course. 311 00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:22,273 Okay, name and date of birth. 312 00:16:22,357 --> 00:16:24,150 George Campbell. 313 00:16:24,234 --> 00:16:26,986 George Campbell. C-A-M-- 314 00:16:27,070 --> 00:16:28,655 -P-B-E-L-L. -P-- E-L-L. 315 00:16:28,738 --> 00:16:29,698 -Yep. -Date of birth? 316 00:16:29,781 --> 00:16:32,450 10-17-68. 317 00:16:33,034 --> 00:16:34,327 Happy belated birthday. 318 00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:36,579 Address? 319 00:16:37,414 --> 00:16:39,457 -245 East 29th. -Two-- 320 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:46,006 Really? Oh, my God, that's so funny. I'm 245 East 73rd Street. 321 00:16:46,089 --> 00:16:47,090 We're related. 322 00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:51,052 Okay, moving on to the tougher stuff. 323 00:16:52,137 --> 00:16:54,055 Emergency contact. 324 00:16:54,139 --> 00:16:55,432 My partner, Paul Bennett. 325 00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:58,518 -B-E-N-N-E-T-T. -Partner, gotcha. 326 00:16:59,728 --> 00:17:02,230 No, not husband partner. 327 00:17:03,314 --> 00:17:04,482 Business partner. 328 00:17:05,275 --> 00:17:07,152 Yeah. Never been married. 329 00:17:07,861 --> 00:17:08,737 Okay. 330 00:17:08,819 --> 00:17:10,195 Speak of the Devil. 331 00:17:11,489 --> 00:17:13,575 -Hi, Paul. -Man, where are you? 332 00:17:13,657 --> 00:17:15,535 The final version of that app deck is due-- 333 00:17:15,617 --> 00:17:18,246 In two days. Believe me, I know. 334 00:17:18,329 --> 00:17:19,748 I am at Urgent Care, 335 00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:22,166 -so here. -No, this is urgent. Okay? 336 00:17:22,250 --> 00:17:25,045 We're running out of buyers. It's do or die! 337 00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:26,796 Yeah, all right, let me finish. 338 00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:32,719 I am here, stuck in whatever the opposite of a hit-and-run is. Meet Carrie. 339 00:17:33,178 --> 00:17:34,804 Hi, hi. 340 00:17:35,305 --> 00:17:38,266 Again, I'm mortified about this. 341 00:17:38,350 --> 00:17:40,560 I'll never get used to those bike lanes. 342 00:17:40,643 --> 00:17:43,897 They didn't have 'em when I came to New York in 1822. 343 00:17:43,980 --> 00:17:45,857 -George? -Sir, with the wrist? 344 00:17:45,940 --> 00:17:47,734 You can go back to exam room two. 345 00:17:47,817 --> 00:17:48,902 What is goin' on over there? 346 00:17:48,985 --> 00:17:49,944 Paul, I'll call you back. 347 00:17:51,780 --> 00:17:53,156 -Okay. -Do you need help with-- 348 00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:55,408 Nah, I'm good. I'll just take this. 349 00:17:56,284 --> 00:17:58,161 -And I'll take that. -Yep. 350 00:17:58,244 --> 00:18:00,747 And thank you. 351 00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:02,499 -Of course. Yeah. -Yeah. 352 00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:03,750 I'll say hi to the Olsens. 353 00:18:06,628 --> 00:18:09,589 -I'm home! -Hi, Dad! 354 00:18:10,131 --> 00:18:12,258 Whoa! Rock is helpin' to make dinner. 355 00:18:13,176 --> 00:18:14,719 What? Did I come home to the wrong house? 356 00:18:15,553 --> 00:18:17,180 What is this Norman Rockwell scene here? 357 00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:19,849 Honey, we have been doing some more research 358 00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:21,476 on the Ralph Lauren shoot. 359 00:18:21,559 --> 00:18:24,145 Honey, absolutely not. 360 00:18:24,938 --> 00:18:27,982 I'm just-- I'm really-- I'm smellin' a "Taken" type 361 00:18:28,066 --> 00:18:30,652 kidnapping vibe here, and I just-- 362 00:18:31,111 --> 00:18:32,904 I don't have the muscle mass to rescue Rock 363 00:18:32,987 --> 00:18:34,781 from a compound in Belize. 364 00:18:34,864 --> 00:18:36,491 Dad, it's not a kidnapping vibe. 365 00:18:36,574 --> 00:18:38,827 We Zoomed with the advertising team 366 00:18:38,910 --> 00:18:42,664 and it's actually quite legitimate and impressive. 367 00:18:42,747 --> 00:18:47,961 It is a progressive family concept and Rock will be wearing a Polo shirt, 368 00:18:48,044 --> 00:18:51,756 exactly what I wore as a teen model! 369 00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:54,134 Teen model. Next stop, rehab. 370 00:18:54,217 --> 00:18:57,387 -Mom's not a junkie. -That's right! I'm not. 371 00:18:57,470 --> 00:19:00,473 Harry, you are being ridiculous. 372 00:19:00,557 --> 00:19:04,978 Rock really wants to do this and they've come up with a great idea 373 00:19:05,061 --> 00:19:07,147 of how they would spend the money they would make. 374 00:19:07,230 --> 00:19:09,274 Plant some trees in Israel! 375 00:19:11,317 --> 00:19:16,031 Look, even if it is legit, it's gonna be exploitative. 376 00:19:16,114 --> 00:19:17,490 The next thing ya know, they're gonna be 377 00:19:17,574 --> 00:19:19,868 usin' Rock's likeness in God knows what kinda ad. 378 00:19:19,951 --> 00:19:22,996 Harry, this is a Polo campaign. 379 00:19:23,079 --> 00:19:25,915 -What could they do? -Dad, I hear you. 380 00:19:25,999 --> 00:19:28,335 So you don't have to come 'cause Mom's gonna take me. 381 00:19:29,044 --> 00:19:30,587 It'll be awesome. 382 00:19:31,963 --> 00:19:33,381 Slippery slope. 383 00:19:35,342 --> 00:19:38,219 I don't know why they call this place Urgent Care. 384 00:19:38,303 --> 00:19:40,221 It should be called "I Hope You Have Nothing Else 385 00:19:40,305 --> 00:19:42,182 Planned for the Rest of the Day" Care. 386 00:19:42,265 --> 00:19:43,641 Why are you still there? 387 00:19:43,725 --> 00:19:46,895 Because I made the mistake of telling him my name, 388 00:19:46,978 --> 00:19:48,688 so now I'm implicated. 389 00:19:48,772 --> 00:19:51,941 I don't wanna get sued. I'm Google-able. 390 00:19:52,025 --> 00:19:54,778 And, you know, the poor guy can't type. 391 00:19:54,861 --> 00:19:59,491 He's got this big sales presentation in two days 392 00:19:59,574 --> 00:20:03,745 and it's all about an app he's desperate to sell. At his age? 393 00:20:03,828 --> 00:20:05,747 I mean, oh, God. 394 00:20:05,830 --> 00:20:08,917 I just hope I didn't ruin his big chance. 395 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:10,585 Maybe I should just write him a check. 396 00:20:10,669 --> 00:20:13,171 You're a pushover, like me. 397 00:20:14,047 --> 00:20:16,132 Since when are you a pushover? 398 00:20:16,216 --> 00:20:20,553 Since last night. I told pump gin guy I'd see him again. 399 00:20:20,637 --> 00:20:23,598 -Seriously? -Dating at this age, 400 00:20:23,682 --> 00:20:25,308 there's always something. 401 00:20:25,392 --> 00:20:29,437 We had 30 minutes of great foreplay, 402 00:20:29,521 --> 00:20:33,400 a bizarre intermission, followed by B-plus sex. 403 00:20:33,483 --> 00:20:34,984 Well, what are you gonna do if he doesn't bring it? 404 00:20:35,068 --> 00:20:37,654 You gonna swap in the pump you use for your yoga ball? 405 00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:41,866 With most of these guys, I have to get myself off anyway at the end. 406 00:20:41,950 --> 00:20:46,454 And at least with him, I had some laughs and a sexy spoon after. 407 00:20:46,871 --> 00:20:47,872 'Kay, gotta go. Bye. 408 00:20:50,500 --> 00:20:53,628 You're still here? Waiting for a total stranger? 409 00:20:53,712 --> 00:20:55,880 -That is very cool. -How's the wrist feeling? 410 00:20:55,964 --> 00:20:57,841 -It's pretty good. -Oh, great. 411 00:20:57,924 --> 00:20:59,718 Great, I just wanted to make sure it wasn't broken. 412 00:20:59,801 --> 00:21:03,513 Oh, yeah, no. It's definitely broken. 413 00:21:04,305 --> 00:21:06,391 That must have been the opioids talking. 414 00:21:06,474 --> 00:21:08,018 Sir, the card ya gave us 415 00:21:08,101 --> 00:21:10,228 earlier to put on file was declined. 416 00:21:10,311 --> 00:21:13,273 Oh, right. Shit, that one's no good. 417 00:21:14,399 --> 00:21:18,570 Yeah, here. Sorry, this one. 418 00:21:23,575 --> 00:21:26,411 Actually, sorry. Do that one. 419 00:21:26,494 --> 00:21:27,412 Sorry, yeah. 420 00:21:27,495 --> 00:21:29,497 It was so great. 421 00:21:29,581 --> 00:21:33,710 I felt like everyone on the street was giving me that "you just had sex" eye. 422 00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:36,212 I love you having a hot walk of shame. 423 00:21:36,296 --> 00:21:40,800 I mean, I get it now. These one-night stands are amazing! 424 00:21:40,884 --> 00:21:41,885 Afternoon, Professor Wallace. 425 00:21:41,968 --> 00:21:43,428 Good afternoon, ladies. 426 00:21:46,431 --> 00:21:49,601 We did it all night long 427 00:21:49,684 --> 00:21:52,354 and then, I got up, got dressed, went home, 428 00:21:52,437 --> 00:21:54,981 and slept in my own bed until two. 429 00:21:55,065 --> 00:21:58,318 Jealous. Not of the sex, of the sleep. 430 00:21:59,194 --> 00:22:02,614 -What? -I'm early mornings, Che's late nights. 431 00:22:02,697 --> 00:22:05,575 I would only sleep there on the weekends when we could stay in bed, 432 00:22:05,658 --> 00:22:08,203 if I had literally anywhere else to go. 433 00:22:11,414 --> 00:22:13,416 You do. Andre's music room is empty. 434 00:22:13,500 --> 00:22:16,169 Crash there until Steve finds a new place. 435 00:22:17,837 --> 00:22:19,339 That's an incredible offer! 436 00:22:19,422 --> 00:22:22,300 But you don't really mean that. You're just being nice. 437 00:22:22,384 --> 00:22:24,094 I'm not nice, and I do mean it. 438 00:22:24,177 --> 00:22:27,055 Miranda, I don't really like living alone. 439 00:22:27,138 --> 00:22:28,973 And you can't keep going from Che's to Brooklyn 440 00:22:29,057 --> 00:22:30,809 -at five in the morning. -I can't. 441 00:22:30,892 --> 00:22:33,436 I'm exhausted, and I look it. 442 00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:34,729 You do. 443 00:22:38,149 --> 00:22:39,693 I told you I'm not nice. 444 00:22:46,991 --> 00:22:48,118 Yes? 445 00:22:50,704 --> 00:22:53,456 If this is George Campbell, this is, 446 00:22:53,540 --> 00:22:56,042 this is your near-assassin, Carrie Bradshaw. 447 00:22:57,210 --> 00:22:58,420 Come on in. 448 00:22:59,546 --> 00:23:00,964 Thank you. 449 00:23:13,518 --> 00:23:14,728 Hello? 450 00:23:21,234 --> 00:23:22,152 Hi there. 451 00:23:23,153 --> 00:23:24,529 -Hey. -You again? 452 00:23:26,156 --> 00:23:30,076 Do you live here, or are you temping for an art gallery? 453 00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:32,912 Nope, I live here. 454 00:23:32,996 --> 00:23:34,414 Oh, my. 455 00:23:34,914 --> 00:23:39,169 Was it previously a train station? Or... 456 00:23:39,586 --> 00:23:42,672 -an airplane hangar? -What a nice surprise. 457 00:23:43,423 --> 00:23:45,633 Unless you're here to break my other wrist? 458 00:23:45,717 --> 00:23:47,635 No, no, no, no, no. No, I come in peace. 459 00:23:48,762 --> 00:23:51,431 Well, actually, it's guilt. 460 00:23:51,514 --> 00:23:56,895 And to offer lunch and my intact wrists to help with your big presentation, 461 00:23:56,978 --> 00:23:58,480 if that's not weird. 462 00:23:59,522 --> 00:24:01,149 It's definitely weird. 463 00:24:01,816 --> 00:24:04,027 -Okay. -But I can-- I will 464 00:24:04,110 --> 00:24:07,113 take your help because I just ran out of Percocet. 465 00:24:07,197 --> 00:24:08,865 Oh, no. 466 00:24:09,366 --> 00:24:12,202 So, I assume you are proficient in Python? 467 00:24:13,078 --> 00:24:15,413 I type 92 words a minute. 468 00:24:17,874 --> 00:24:20,210 Carrot Ginger, Matzo Ball, and Pea. 469 00:24:20,293 --> 00:24:22,754 There's enough food here for a week. 470 00:24:23,380 --> 00:24:26,132 Who has three different soups for lunch? 471 00:24:26,216 --> 00:24:29,177 -I was thinking maybe you could freeze it. -What? 472 00:24:30,553 --> 00:24:32,597 I don't know when your last meal was. 473 00:24:33,306 --> 00:24:36,559 -Do I look like I'm starving? -No. 474 00:24:37,477 --> 00:24:39,229 You know, just 'cause I'm not married 475 00:24:39,312 --> 00:24:42,232 doesn't mean that I don't know how to cook or order in. 476 00:24:42,315 --> 00:24:44,317 No, it wasn't that. 477 00:24:44,401 --> 00:24:50,115 I just thought that perhaps you were in a bit of a bind. 478 00:24:51,199 --> 00:24:55,829 Because, you know, the frantic, last-chance business call 479 00:24:55,912 --> 00:24:58,998 and then the credit card situation. 480 00:25:00,667 --> 00:25:04,379 Okay, so, that credit card was closed out 'cause of fraud 481 00:25:05,255 --> 00:25:08,717 and Paul and I have just put way too much time into that app 482 00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:10,677 to see it go down the tubes. 483 00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:13,513 You know, we've been hustling in the tech space since college. 484 00:25:14,014 --> 00:25:18,643 Beer pong to all this. It's impressive. 485 00:25:18,727 --> 00:25:21,521 Yeah, we've sold three apps. 486 00:25:22,355 --> 00:25:27,569 Hopefully, four if you and I can ever get down to work. 487 00:25:27,652 --> 00:25:30,071 -My wrists are all yours. -Thank you. 488 00:25:31,906 --> 00:25:33,992 -Okay. -Here, hold on, let me just-- 489 00:25:34,075 --> 00:25:35,201 Just gotta wake it up. 490 00:25:40,665 --> 00:25:42,125 Tiny wrists. 491 00:25:45,670 --> 00:25:46,880 That okay? 492 00:26:11,613 --> 00:26:15,950 Dude, fuckin' hang a towel on the door if you got company. 493 00:26:17,118 --> 00:26:18,995 Yeah, no, and I thought we used a sock. 494 00:26:19,079 --> 00:26:21,039 Not time for comedy. 495 00:26:21,873 --> 00:26:23,416 Your dry cleaner called me again. 496 00:26:23,500 --> 00:26:24,793 This has been there a month. 497 00:26:25,710 --> 00:26:29,339 Anyway, Paul, this is Carrie. 498 00:26:30,715 --> 00:26:33,677 -FaceTime from Urgent C-- -Oh, yeah, yeah. Hi. 499 00:26:34,135 --> 00:26:36,054 Yeah, she's helping me out with my mangled wrist. 500 00:26:36,137 --> 00:26:39,808 Not what it looks like. We're on a deadline, bro. 501 00:26:40,392 --> 00:26:41,726 It's game time. 502 00:26:47,691 --> 00:26:49,526 Well, I should 503 00:26:50,485 --> 00:26:53,488 probably take my tiny wrists and go. 504 00:26:54,406 --> 00:26:57,409 It's rush hour. Can I borrow a bike? 505 00:26:58,034 --> 00:26:59,869 Yeah, sure. 506 00:27:04,249 --> 00:27:05,375 Never gonna happen. 507 00:27:06,209 --> 00:27:09,129 I take cabs. Enjoy the soups. 508 00:27:09,212 --> 00:27:13,675 ABC is, like, so excited. And my agent's flying in for the testing, 509 00:27:13,758 --> 00:27:15,510 which is apparently a good sign. 510 00:27:18,179 --> 00:27:20,306 This red curry is not a joke. 511 00:27:21,141 --> 00:27:23,143 You know that's what happens when you order something spicy. 512 00:27:23,226 --> 00:27:26,813 Yes, but I needed something to wake me up. 513 00:27:27,647 --> 00:27:32,485 I am awake, so please, go on. What is testing? 514 00:27:32,569 --> 00:27:35,363 So they ask a bunch of randos that they find in Times Square 515 00:27:35,447 --> 00:27:37,657 to give feedback on my pilot. 516 00:27:37,741 --> 00:27:41,619 I guess it helps them figure out how to best market the show to America. 517 00:27:41,703 --> 00:27:42,662 Thank you. 518 00:27:47,208 --> 00:27:48,293 Okay. 519 00:27:50,045 --> 00:27:51,004 So 520 00:27:52,130 --> 00:27:54,174 if my body survives this meal-- 521 00:27:55,300 --> 00:27:58,511 I'm thinking I may move into Nya's spare room. 522 00:27:59,763 --> 00:28:02,515 Sometimes, I feel like I'm cramping your style. 523 00:28:03,183 --> 00:28:05,643 Meaning my loud-ass friends are keeping you awake all night? 524 00:28:05,727 --> 00:28:06,811 Yes. 525 00:28:06,895 --> 00:28:10,065 And my crazy-ass schedule is keeping you awake all morning. 526 00:28:10,148 --> 00:28:11,232 Is that right? I hadn't noticed. 527 00:28:12,108 --> 00:28:14,194 Plus, Nya's place is, like, 528 00:28:14,277 --> 00:28:16,613 -two minutes away from my house. -Yeah. 529 00:28:16,696 --> 00:28:18,823 I love having ya there, but whatever works 530 00:28:18,907 --> 00:28:20,533 best for you is what I want. 531 00:28:20,617 --> 00:28:23,953 And I'm still gonna sleep over plenty of nights. 532 00:28:24,037 --> 00:28:24,954 Don't worry. 533 00:28:26,164 --> 00:28:27,749 The only thing I'm worried about 534 00:28:28,208 --> 00:28:29,501 is that spice all over your lips 535 00:28:29,584 --> 00:28:31,920 'cause I'm not tryna have curry-lingus later. 536 00:28:33,129 --> 00:28:38,551 Look, honey. Oh my, look at how professional! 537 00:28:38,635 --> 00:28:40,303 I am so proud of you. 538 00:28:40,387 --> 00:28:41,763 I haven't even done anything yet. 539 00:28:41,846 --> 00:28:43,515 That's okay. It's already amazing. 540 00:28:43,598 --> 00:28:46,518 Hey, Rock. I'm Bee. I'll be your stylist today. 541 00:28:46,601 --> 00:28:47,727 Hi. Nice to meet you. 542 00:28:47,811 --> 00:28:49,813 -This is my mom. -Hi. I'm Charlotte. 543 00:28:49,896 --> 00:28:53,817 -Are you wearing all vintage Ralph? -Head to toe! 544 00:28:53,900 --> 00:28:56,528 I've been wearing him since I was a teen model. 545 00:28:58,321 --> 00:28:59,656 Right this way. 546 00:28:59,739 --> 00:29:02,033 Sorry, "model" just came out. 547 00:29:02,117 --> 00:29:03,993 Thank you so much for asking me to be here, honey. 548 00:29:04,077 --> 00:29:06,663 -It means a lot. -I'm so glad you can be here with me. 549 00:29:06,746 --> 00:29:07,706 Chin up! 550 00:29:07,789 --> 00:29:11,001 So, how are you feelin' about the whole roommate situation? 551 00:29:11,084 --> 00:29:11,960 Great! 552 00:29:12,460 --> 00:29:13,920 We're both going through divorces, 553 00:29:14,004 --> 00:29:16,506 so we'll be like an angry Laverne and Shirley. 554 00:29:17,674 --> 00:29:20,176 Okay, the room is very small 555 00:29:20,260 --> 00:29:23,138 so if ya see a single bed that looks like it won't fall apart 556 00:29:23,221 --> 00:29:26,850 before Steve finds a new place, throw yourself on it. 557 00:29:27,475 --> 00:29:28,977 Well, it's been a couple months. 558 00:29:29,060 --> 00:29:31,312 How long will that be, exactly? 559 00:29:31,396 --> 00:29:33,648 I don't feel I can ask him. 560 00:29:33,732 --> 00:29:37,068 I don't feel like I'm allowed to ask anything right now. 561 00:29:37,152 --> 00:29:42,240 Except to ask me to sit on someone else's used mattress? 562 00:29:43,033 --> 00:29:45,702 These single beds look so sad. 563 00:29:45,785 --> 00:29:48,496 Well, look closer, 'cause maybe they're not. 564 00:29:48,580 --> 00:29:50,248 Case in point, 565 00:29:50,331 --> 00:29:53,793 the single man I'm having dinner with tonight. 566 00:29:53,877 --> 00:29:57,881 I heard "partner," I thought "gay." I heard "crash," I thought "lawsuit." 567 00:29:57,964 --> 00:30:00,425 I heard "Urgent Care," I thought, "This'll be quick." 568 00:30:00,508 --> 00:30:05,555 I got everything wrong. No more snap judgments. 569 00:30:05,638 --> 00:30:08,141 So you're saying you think I should take this one? 570 00:30:08,224 --> 00:30:13,021 Absolutely not. I see that mattress, I think "bedbugs." 571 00:30:14,314 --> 00:30:16,316 Rock, that's great! 572 00:30:17,317 --> 00:30:18,735 There we go! 573 00:30:19,194 --> 00:30:21,863 All right, Rock, turn around. 574 00:30:22,364 --> 00:30:24,324 Big smile, big smile! Lots of energy. 575 00:30:26,743 --> 00:30:28,620 All right, eyes wide. 576 00:30:29,204 --> 00:30:31,164 That was perfect, that was perfect. 577 00:30:34,376 --> 00:30:36,670 Yo, dude, what's happenin'? 578 00:30:36,753 --> 00:30:38,338 -What's good, man? -You're crushin' it. 579 00:30:38,421 --> 00:30:40,423 Dude, this is a dope shoot. 580 00:30:40,507 --> 00:30:42,759 What's gonna be on that green screen, yo? 581 00:30:42,842 --> 00:30:45,637 Like somethin' dirty or sexy or what? 582 00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:47,806 All right, let's keep that head down. 583 00:30:47,889 --> 00:30:51,434 I don't know, bro, but this is a family scene. 584 00:30:52,102 --> 00:30:53,728 There's kids here. 585 00:30:55,855 --> 00:30:58,983 Big smile, big smile! There we go! 586 00:30:59,067 --> 00:31:00,026 Excellent, Rock. Just like that. 587 00:31:00,110 --> 00:31:03,571 Dude, you better get outta here right now 588 00:31:03,655 --> 00:31:06,157 -before Rock sees you. -All right, another one right here. 589 00:31:06,241 --> 00:31:09,411 Baby, there's just somethin' about this whole situation 590 00:31:09,494 --> 00:31:11,246 that does not sit right with me. 591 00:31:11,329 --> 00:31:16,584 Could it be that I am the fun parent and you are the heavy for a change? 592 00:31:18,962 --> 00:31:19,921 Maybe. 593 00:31:20,005 --> 00:31:22,173 -Look at that one right there! -If you don't get outta here 594 00:31:22,257 --> 00:31:24,259 before that kid sees you, 595 00:31:24,342 --> 00:31:27,095 all trust will be broken 596 00:31:27,178 --> 00:31:30,015 and you will never be "fun dad" ever again. 597 00:31:30,098 --> 00:31:32,225 -Good point. -Here we are! 598 00:31:32,308 --> 00:31:34,436 -Later, dude. -All right, big smile. 599 00:31:34,519 --> 00:31:36,396 I thought you were returning that hair. 600 00:31:36,479 --> 00:31:39,065 -Carrie likes it. -Over your right shoulder, right shoulder. 601 00:31:39,149 --> 00:31:41,401 And I lost the receipt. 602 00:31:41,484 --> 00:31:43,445 -Peace out. -There it is-- Hat off. 603 00:31:45,864 --> 00:31:47,741 Look away like you're too cool, too cool for school. 604 00:31:50,493 --> 00:31:52,287 That's great, Rock. Just like that. 605 00:31:54,247 --> 00:31:57,083 That scene with the apron was funny. 606 00:31:57,167 --> 00:32:02,922 Okay. Wow, so we love, we loved Che's dad. 607 00:32:03,006 --> 00:32:06,760 Any other positive feedback on the character played by Tony Danza? 608 00:32:07,469 --> 00:32:10,305 -Yeah. -Great head of hair. So lush. 609 00:32:11,765 --> 00:32:12,766 Everybody loves Tony. 610 00:32:12,849 --> 00:32:15,477 Negatives about our dad character? 611 00:32:15,894 --> 00:32:19,898 He looked uncomfortable in that scene when she cried. 612 00:32:19,981 --> 00:32:22,150 When "they," "they" cried. 613 00:32:22,817 --> 00:32:25,445 Right, sorry. 614 00:32:26,112 --> 00:32:29,741 The crying sends a signal that it's sad to be non-binary. 615 00:32:30,241 --> 00:32:32,118 That is what I said! 616 00:32:32,202 --> 00:32:34,162 I knew the scene was too much and I told 'em that. 617 00:32:34,245 --> 00:32:35,789 I told 'em that repeatedly. 618 00:32:35,872 --> 00:32:37,707 -Repeatedly. -Okay. We have that note. 619 00:32:37,791 --> 00:32:39,292 You've been pretty quiet. 620 00:32:39,376 --> 00:32:41,044 Can we hear some more from you? 621 00:32:41,127 --> 00:32:42,170 Me? 622 00:32:43,713 --> 00:32:49,010 I mean, the whole "Che" character was like a walking boomer joke 623 00:32:49,094 --> 00:32:50,720 that felt so fake to me. 624 00:32:51,513 --> 00:32:56,184 Just some phony, sanitized, performative, 625 00:32:56,267 --> 00:32:59,270 cheesy-ass, dad joke, 626 00:33:00,355 --> 00:33:04,984 bullshit version of what the non-binary experience is. 627 00:33:05,944 --> 00:33:07,320 It sucked. 628 00:33:10,198 --> 00:33:13,910 Also, they would not be able to afford an apartment that big in Bushwick. 629 00:33:15,870 --> 00:33:18,581 Did anyone else have anything negative to say 630 00:33:18,665 --> 00:33:21,292 about the character of Che, played by Che Diaz? 631 00:33:25,714 --> 00:33:27,799 Okay, looks like we got a Yahtzee. 632 00:33:29,634 --> 00:33:31,761 Everybody thinks of TV today 633 00:33:31,845 --> 00:33:34,889 as a place where artistic people get to be creative. 634 00:33:34,973 --> 00:33:38,143 But the truth is, they just care about selling soap. 635 00:33:38,226 --> 00:33:44,441 TV is just a corporate conglomerate, and those corporate assholes can eat shit. 636 00:33:44,524 --> 00:33:47,444 It's just like corporate law. They will never get it. 637 00:33:47,527 --> 00:33:50,572 And I'm sorry, Times Square tourists? 638 00:33:50,655 --> 00:33:53,033 They can't possibly understand your story. 639 00:33:54,409 --> 00:33:56,661 A genderqueer person from Brooklyn tanked it. 640 00:33:56,745 --> 00:33:58,913 That call came from inside the house. 641 00:33:58,997 --> 00:34:00,957 Well, they can eat shit, too then. 642 00:34:01,041 --> 00:34:04,627 And ABC was like, "If that demographic doesn't like Che--" 643 00:34:04,711 --> 00:34:07,756 ABC can eat shit! ABC can eat shit and die! 644 00:34:07,839 --> 00:34:10,425 Stop telling everybody to eat shit. It's not helping. 645 00:34:10,507 --> 00:34:11,509 Sorry. 646 00:34:12,719 --> 00:34:14,596 How am I gonna afford this apartment? 647 00:34:15,847 --> 00:34:17,724 I was counting on that TV money. 648 00:34:17,806 --> 00:34:21,518 Okay, so you'll make another show. 649 00:34:22,228 --> 00:34:24,481 You'll make an even better show. 650 00:34:24,563 --> 00:34:26,274 Yeah, doesn't work that way. 651 00:34:26,358 --> 00:34:30,527 You mean it didn't before now, but you're you. 652 00:34:30,612 --> 00:34:32,906 There is nobody like you. 653 00:34:33,572 --> 00:34:38,453 You just have to suck it up and pull yourself outta this. 654 00:34:38,536 --> 00:34:41,039 -I'll be your cheerleader. -Oh, Miranda, stop. 655 00:34:41,121 --> 00:34:42,748 -Let's go! Let's go! -Stop. 656 00:34:42,831 --> 00:34:45,835 -Miranda, stop. Stop, stop! -Let's go! 657 00:34:45,918 --> 00:34:48,545 I don't need a cheerleader! This isn't a game, this is my life! 658 00:34:48,630 --> 00:34:52,007 This is my career! This is my identity! 659 00:34:52,092 --> 00:34:54,219 It took me 46 years to figure out who I am 660 00:34:54,302 --> 00:34:57,806 and then a focus group one hour to fuckin' destroy me! 661 00:34:57,889 --> 00:35:00,141 So, I don't need to be all Tony Robbins'd right now. 662 00:35:00,225 --> 00:35:01,267 I got it. 663 00:35:02,519 --> 00:35:03,395 So, what can I do? 664 00:35:03,478 --> 00:35:05,313 I don't-- Nothing. 665 00:35:06,022 --> 00:35:07,482 I'm a mess. 666 00:35:09,984 --> 00:35:11,695 I just need some space. 667 00:35:14,114 --> 00:35:16,324 Would you mind staying the night at your other place? 668 00:35:18,785 --> 00:35:21,788 Sure. Of course. 669 00:35:23,790 --> 00:35:26,418 Can I hug you before I go? 670 00:35:37,512 --> 00:35:38,513 Okay. 671 00:35:40,765 --> 00:35:42,392 So, I'll see ya tomorrow. 672 00:35:42,851 --> 00:35:45,353 You know, honestly, I think I just need a bit-- 673 00:35:45,437 --> 00:35:48,064 a few more days alone. 674 00:35:49,190 --> 00:35:50,483 Is that okay? 675 00:35:51,359 --> 00:35:52,986 Yeah, sure. 676 00:36:21,389 --> 00:36:22,682 My... 677 00:36:27,604 --> 00:36:29,147 That was great. 678 00:36:42,369 --> 00:36:43,787 That's not cool. 679 00:36:45,997 --> 00:36:47,874 Are you for real right now? 680 00:36:49,918 --> 00:36:50,794 Sir, 681 00:36:50,877 --> 00:36:54,255 do you seriously have the balls to say something about my device 682 00:36:54,339 --> 00:36:56,883 when I wake up to your freshly washed penis pump 683 00:36:56,966 --> 00:36:59,052 -drying in my dish rack? -That's different. 684 00:36:59,135 --> 00:37:00,929 That was just to get us started. This is so like... 685 00:37:02,305 --> 00:37:03,348 So noisy. 686 00:37:04,182 --> 00:37:06,893 I'm sorry if I'm bothering the man whose penis pump goes 687 00:37:07,977 --> 00:37:09,270 in the middle of my bedroom. 688 00:37:17,237 --> 00:37:18,446 Not cool. 689 00:37:20,490 --> 00:37:22,117 So not cool. 690 00:37:35,046 --> 00:37:36,297 Seriously? 691 00:37:37,090 --> 00:37:38,842 Not cool! 692 00:37:55,650 --> 00:37:56,526 Look at you. 693 00:37:58,236 --> 00:38:01,156 -Little help here? -Sorry. No, I'm sorry. 694 00:38:02,157 --> 00:38:05,243 They're tiny tender buttons. 695 00:38:16,171 --> 00:38:20,383 Here wait one second. That's probably Paul. 696 00:38:21,092 --> 00:38:22,302 I just need to get this. 697 00:38:22,385 --> 00:38:24,721 -Sure. -Give me one second. 698 00:38:26,556 --> 00:38:29,351 -Dude, what is up? -Dude, where's the final deck? 699 00:38:29,434 --> 00:38:31,436 I messengered it to you. 700 00:38:31,895 --> 00:38:34,564 I have no final deck. 701 00:38:34,647 --> 00:38:38,860 Fuck. Fuck! Fuck, I forgot to send it. 702 00:38:39,152 --> 00:38:43,823 I'm gonna call my assistant and have him come pick it up ASAP, okay? 703 00:38:43,907 --> 00:38:45,909 -Are you with her right now? -Yeah, I'm... 704 00:38:45,992 --> 00:38:49,037 -Seriously, dude? -...with her, but that is not relevant. 705 00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:50,413 Hey, it's not not relevant! 706 00:38:50,497 --> 00:38:53,541 I will get this to you pronto, and my head is totally in the game. 707 00:38:54,167 --> 00:38:55,335 -I'll be right back. -Okay. 708 00:38:55,418 --> 00:38:56,920 Goddammit! 709 00:38:57,003 --> 00:38:58,922 Just stop, all right? 710 00:38:59,005 --> 00:39:00,006 God. 711 00:39:04,969 --> 00:39:08,056 Look, it's nothing against you. 712 00:39:09,474 --> 00:39:10,892 Is it Carrie? 713 00:39:14,229 --> 00:39:15,855 Can you hear me? 714 00:39:15,939 --> 00:39:17,148 Yeah? 715 00:39:19,401 --> 00:39:22,487 Okay, I'm sorry about all this. 716 00:39:22,570 --> 00:39:26,616 Honestly, it's just-- it's been a few bumpy years. 717 00:39:26,700 --> 00:39:29,661 You know, he's creative and I'm business 718 00:39:29,744 --> 00:39:36,334 and sometimes I have to push just to get him across that finish line 719 00:39:36,418 --> 00:39:37,544 which 720 00:39:38,336 --> 00:39:40,839 I guess it ends up making me look like the bad guy 721 00:39:40,922 --> 00:39:43,925 and a piece of shit, and I'm not. 722 00:39:44,426 --> 00:39:48,555 I've been in this game for 20-something years now 723 00:39:48,638 --> 00:39:52,100 and you know, I feel like he's been just, kind of, 724 00:39:52,183 --> 00:39:56,354 falling off a little bit, like, "Oh, you know, I'm just gonna give 70%," 725 00:39:56,438 --> 00:39:59,065 like, that's cool. It's not fucking cool. 726 00:40:00,275 --> 00:40:02,277 I'm fucking frustrated, Carrie. 727 00:40:02,736 --> 00:40:03,945 George? 728 00:40:09,284 --> 00:40:12,037 -George? -Be right there! 729 00:40:12,120 --> 00:40:14,080 Just gotta get this deck together! 730 00:40:15,623 --> 00:40:16,833 Hey. 731 00:40:17,417 --> 00:40:22,756 Hey, listen, I'm gonna go! He's upset. 732 00:40:22,839 --> 00:40:25,383 Paul's great. I don't want you to think he's a jerk. 733 00:40:25,467 --> 00:40:29,929 It's just this sale's a big deal for us, and it's stressful as hell. 734 00:40:31,431 --> 00:40:34,851 You know how on your form I checked "single"? 735 00:40:35,810 --> 00:40:38,438 Well, I think you actually are married 736 00:40:39,439 --> 00:40:41,024 to Paul. 737 00:40:41,107 --> 00:40:44,277 He's not just your business partner, he's your wife. 738 00:40:44,361 --> 00:40:48,531 No, no, it's not like that. We're more Lennon and McCartney. 739 00:40:49,866 --> 00:40:55,497 Well, that kinda makes me Yoko, so, I'm gonna go. 740 00:40:56,289 --> 00:41:00,251 -You sure? -Yep! Leaving! 741 00:41:00,335 --> 00:41:04,339 I wish you a long and happy marriage. 742 00:41:16,101 --> 00:41:17,018 Carrie? 743 00:41:25,819 --> 00:41:29,864 And just like that, George and I were over. 744 00:41:29,948 --> 00:41:33,284 But at least I got back up on the bike. 53096

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