All language subtitles for The.Intern.2015.HDRip.XviD.AC3-EVO

??

Ben: FREUD SAID, "LOVE AND WORK.
WORK AND LOVE.

THAT'S ALL THERE IS."

WELL, I'M RETIRED,
AND MY WIFE IS DEAD.

AS YOU CAN IMAGINE, THAT'S
GIVEN ME SOME TIME ON MY HANDS.

MY WIFE'S BEEN GONE
FOR THREE AND A HALF YEARS.

I MISS HER IN EVERY WAY.
AND RETIREMENT?

THAT IS AN ONGOING,
RELENTLESS EFFORT IN CREATIVITY.

AT FIRST, I ADMIT
I ENJOYED THE NOVELTY OF IT.

SORT OF FELT LIKE
I WAS PLAYING HOOKY.

I USED ALL THE MILES I'D SAVED
AND TRAVELED THE GLOBE.

THE PROBLEM WAS, NO MATTER WHERE
I WENT, AS SOON AS I GOT HOME,

THE NOWHERE-TO-BE THING
HIT ME LIKE A TON OF BRICKS.

I REALIZED THE KEY TO THIS WHOLE
DEAL WAS TO KEEP MOVING.

GET UP, GET OUT OF THE HOUSE,
AND GO SOMEWHERE.

ANYWHERE.

COME RAIN OR SHINE,
I'M AT MY STARBUCKS BY 7:15.

EXCUSE ME,
MIND IF WE JOIN YOU?

-NO.
-HEY. HOW ARE YOU?

CAN'T EXPLAIN IT, BUT IT MAKES
ME FEEL PART OF SOMETHING.

THESE GUYS TODAY,
THEY'RE NOT NUMBERS GUYS.

DON'T TALK FIGURES
WITH THEM.

HOW DO I SPEND
THE REST OF MY DAYS?

YOU NAME IT.
GOLF, BOOKS, MOVIES, PINOCHLE.

TRIED YOGA, LEARNED TO COOK,

BOUGHT SOME PLANTS,
TOOK CLASSES IN MANDARIN.

XIANG XIN WO,
WO SHEN ME DOU SHIGUO LE.

TRANSLATION -- "BELIEVE ME,
I'VE TRIED EVERYTHING."

AND THEN, OF COURSE,
THERE ARE THE FUNERALS.

SO MANY MORE
THAN I COULD IMAGINE.

THE ONLY TRAVELING I DO
THESE DAYS

IS OUT TO SAN DIEGO
TO VISIT MY SON AND HIS FAMILY.

THEY'RE GREAT.
I LOVE THEM TO PIECES.

BUT TO BE HONEST, I THINK
I PROBABLY RELIED ON THEM

WAY MORE THAN I SHOULD.

DON'T GET ME WRONG,
I'M NOT AN UNHAPPY PERSON.

QUITE THE CONTRARY.

I JUST KNOW THERE'S A HOLE IN
MY LIFE, AND I NEED TO FILL IT.

SOON.

[ HORN HONKS ]

WHICH BRINGS ME TO TODAY
WHEN I WAS LEAVING THE MARKET

AND CAUGHT YOUR FLYER
OUT OF THE CORNER OF MY EYE.

HMM.

"SENIORS, BE AN INTERN."

BEN,
I THOUGHT THAT WAS YOU.

HI.

HEY.

WHAT'D YOU FIND?

I THINK AN INTERNET PLACE
IS LOOKING FOR SENIOR INTERNS.

-AM I READING THIS RIGHT?
-LET ME SEE.

"APPLICANTS MUST BE
OVER 65 YEARS OF AGE...

HAVE ORGANIZATIONAL SKILLS, A
GENUINE INTEREST IN E-COMMERCE,"

WHATEVER THAT IS...

"...AND A ROLL-UP-YOUR-SLEEVES
ATTITUDE."

AboutTheFit.com, ISN'T THAT
THE OUTFIT THAT WAS...

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

THEY BOUGHT ONE OF THOSE
OLD FACTORIES IN RED HOOK.

MY DAUGHTER SAYS THEY
SELL CLOTHES ON THE INTERNET.

HOW THAT WORKS,
I HAVE NO IDEA.

WELL, YOU HAVE TO
UPLOAD THE APPLICATION.

THAT COULD BE CHALLENGING.
LISTEN TO THIS --

"COVER LETTERS
ARE SO OLD-FASHIONED.

SHOW US WHO YOU ARE
WITH A COVER-LETTER VIDEO.

UPLOAD YOUR VIDEO
TO YouTube OR VIMEO USING

.MOV, .AVI,
OR A .MPG FILE.

WE LOOK FORWARD TO
MEETING YOU."

WELL,
I GUESS THAT'S MEETING ME.

I SWEAR I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT LANGUAGE THAT WAS.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING TONIGHT,
BEN?

-A FROZEN LASAGNA?
-WELL...

I COULD MAKE A LITTLE SALAD,
TURN IT INTO A DINNER FOR TWO,

LIKE WE DID THAT TIME
AND NEVER DID AGAIN.

YOU KNOW THAT WAS
OVER FIVE MONTHS AGO?

OH, YEAH. NO, NO, WE GOT TO
DO THAT AGAIN, FOR SURE,

BUT OKAY
IF WE TAKE A RAIN CHECK?

YOU'RE AWFUL CUTE,
YOU KNOW THAT?

-NO, I DIDN'T.
-WELL, IT'S TRUE, YOU ARE.

SO I'LL SEE YOU.

DON'T TAKE TOO LONG,
DOLL.

YOU'RE NOT
GETTING ANY YOUNGER.

-I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW.
-ALL RIGHT.

[ CLOCK TICKING ]

SO HERE I AM, APPLYING TO BE
ONE OF YOUR INTERNS

BECAUSE THE MORE
I THINK ABOUT THIS IDEA,

THE MORE TREMENDOUS
I THINK IT IS.

I LOVE THE IDEA OF HAVING
A PLACE I CAN GO EVERY DAY.

I WANT THE CONNECTION,
THE EXCITEMENT.

I WANT TO BE CHALLENGED,

AND I GUESS I MIGHT EVEN
WANT TO BE NEEDED.

THE TECH STUFF MIGHT
TAKE A BIT TO FIGURE OUT.

I HAD TO CALL
MY 9-YEAR-OLD GRANDSON

JUST TO FIND OUT
WHAT A USB CONNECTOR WAS.

BUT I'LL GET THERE.
EAGER TO LEARN.

ALSO, I WANT YOU TO KNOW I'VE
BEEN A COMPANY MAN ALL MY LIFE.

I'M LOYAL, I'M TRUSTWORTHY,
AND I'M GOOD IN A CRISIS.

AND I LOVE THAT
YOU'RE RIGHT HERE IN BROOKLYN.

I'VE LIVED HERE ALL MY LIFE,
AND LATELY I FEEL

I MAY NOT BE HIP ENOUGH
TO LIVE IN BROOKLYN,

SO THIS COULD HELP WITH THAT,
TOO.

I READ ONCE,
MUSICIANS DON'T RETIRE.

THEY STOP WHEN
THERE'S NO MORE MUSIC IN THEM.

WELL, I STILL HAVE MUSIC IN ME,
ABSOLUTELY POSITIVE ABOUT THAT.

[ KENDRICK LAMAR'S "I" PLAYS ]

? THIS IS A WORLD PREMIERE ?

? THIS IS A WORLD PREMIERE ?

? THIS IS A WORLD PREMIERE ?

? AS I LOOK AROUND ME ?

? SO MANY, MANY
WANT TO DOWN ME ?

? BUT AIN'T NO...
NEVER DROWN ME ?

? IN FRONT OF A DIRTY
DOUBLE-MIRROR THEY FOUND ME ?

? AND I LOVE MYSELF ?

? THE WORLD IS A GHETTO
WITH GUNS AND PICKET SIGNS ?

? I LOVE MYSELF ?

? BUT THEY CAN DO WHAT THEY WANT
WHENEVER THEY WANT ?

? I DON'T MIND ?

? I LOVE MYSELF ?

? HE SAID I GOT TO GET UP ?

? LIFE IS MORE THAN SUICIDE ?

? I LOVE MYSELF ?

? ONE DAY AT A TIME ?

GOOD NEWS,
I FOUND A SIZE EIGHT IN NAVY.

NO, YOU ARE RIGHT. THAT PACKAGE
SHOULD HAVE ARRIVED BY NOW.

LET ME
TRACK THAT FOR YOU.

YEP, THESE PANTS ARE AWESOME
IF YOU HAVE HIPS.

SUPER SLIMMING.

OKAY, LET ME JUST
REVIEW THIS WITH YOU --

YOU HAVE SIX BRIDESMAIDS.
YOU ORDERED SIX

OF THE SILK CHIFFON
ANTOINETTE DRESSES IN PINK.

THE WEDDING
IS IN THREE DAYS,

AND THE DRESSES JUST ARRIVED
ALL IN CHARCOAL GRAY.

WHICH WE DON'T EVEN SELL,
SO THAT IS A BIT OF A MYSTERY.

OKAY, HERE'S WHAT
WE'RE GONNA DO ABOUT THIS.

I AM GONNA CALL THE VENDOR
AND HAVE THIS FIXED TODAY.

I WILL PERSONALLY SEE THE
DRESSES BEFORE THEY ARE FedExed.

AND I PROMISE YOU
THEY WILL BE AT YOUR FRONT DOOR

BY 9:00 A.M. FRIDAY,
OKAY?

YOU KNOW WHAT, LET ME GIVE YOU
MY CELL, JUST IN CASE --

718-555-0199.

OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR YOUR PATIENCE.

AND I AM GONNA REFUND YOU BACK
ALL YOUR MONEY.

IT'S THE--

YES. N--

OKAY, HEY, YOU CHECK THIS ONE
OFF YOUR LIST, OKAY?

THIS IS DONE.

AND, RACHEL,
HAVE A GREAT WEDDING.

OH, MY GOD,
HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?

Becky: JULES?

I KNOW, I KNOW,
I'M LATE FOR SOMETHING.

YEAH, EVERYTHING.

YOU SEE WHY I TAKE
CUSTOMER-SERVICE CALLS?

I MEAN, IT'S SO GOOD.
YOU LEARN SO MUCH.

OKAY, WHAT'S UP?
WHAT AM I DOING?

OKAY, CAMERON WAS WAITING FOR
YOU BUT HAD ANOTHER MEETING.

HE SAID
HE'LL BE BACK AT 2:00.

EVERYONE NEEDS YOU TO SIGN OFF
ON TOMORROW'S HOMEPAGE.

RIGHT.

AND YOUR 11:00 IS IN
THE BIG CONFERENCE ROOM.

SO IS YOUR 11:10.
FINANCE NEEDS YOU,

AND I GUESS YOU
E-MAILED A BUNCH OF PEOPLE

AT 4:00 A.M.
ABOUT SOMETHING?

OH, GOOD,
I FORGOT ABOUT THAT.

I WANT TO FIGURE OUT A WAY FOR
FRIENDS TO SHOP TOGETHER ONLINE.

MAKE IT LESS OF
AN ALONE THING.

E-MAIL ME THAT IDEA,
WILL YOU?

YEAH, I LIKE THAT.

UM, IS NOW A GOOD TIME
TO CALL YOUR MOM BACK?

DUDE, I'M ON A BIKE.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

COME ON.

OH.

OH, WHAT A MESS. THIS IS
THE MIDDLE OF THE OFFICE.

DON'T -- DON'T --
DON'T PUT THAT...

[ SIGHS ]

[ ELEVATOR BELL DINGS ]

? BECAUSE YOU KNOW
I'M ALL ABOUT THAT BASS ?

? 'BOUT THAT BASS, NO TREBLE ?

? I'M ALL ABOUT THAT BASS ?

-HELLO.
-HI.

I'M BEN WHITTAKER.

I RECEIVED AN E-MAIL
ABOUT AN INTERVIEW

FOR THE SENIOR INTERN
PROGRAM.

HEY, BEN.
HOW'S IT GOING?

IT'S GOING GOOD, REAL GOOD.
THANK YOU.

EXCELLENT.
TAKE A SEAT AROUND THE CORNER,

AND SOMEONE FROM TALENT
ACQUISITION WILL COME GET YOU.

THANK YOU.

"TALENT ACQUISITION"?

? I'M ALL ABOUT THAT BASS ?

? 'BOUT THAT BASS, NO TREBLE ?

? I'M ALL ABOUT THAT BASS,
'BOUT THAT BASS ?

[ SONG ENDS ]

OKAY,
YOU GUYS HAVE TO REMEMBER,

THE HOMEPAGE
HAS TO READ IN A GLANCE.

-RIGHT.
-ALSO, YOU HAVE TO
GET BACK LIKE THIS

IF YOU WANT TO SEE WHAT LOOKS
LIKE IF YOU'RE, LIKE, OVER 35.

OKAY,
SO I CAN'T READ ANYTHING,

BUT IF I COULD,
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SEE?

"FIVE GIRLS, ONE SHIRT"
OR "CHECK OUT THE FIT"?

WELL, BOTH, BUT
WHAT I REALLY WANT YOU TO SEE

IS THE SHIRT WORN BY
FIVE DIFFERENT BODY TYPES.

OKAY, THEN
YOU GOT TO MAKE ME SEE THAT.

TRY MAKING THE PHOTO GRID
BIGGER.

I LOVE THAT FIVE.
CAN WE MAKE IT MORE GRAPHIC?

YEAH, THAT'S COOL.

MAYBE HERO
THE GIRL IN THE RED SHIRT.

-JULES...
-THAT IS A GREAT RED.

IT IS GOING TO
FLY OUT OF HERE.

I NEEDED YOU TO SIGN OFF
ON THIS, LIKE, TWO HOURS AGO.

I KNOW, I KNOW,
BUT CAN YOU TRY?

YEP.

MIA?
TELL ME THAT THING AGAIN.

OH, 40% OF OUR VISITORS
DON'T GO PAST THE HOMEPAGE.

WHICH ISN'T SO BAD.

YEAH,
BUT WE SHOULD FIX THAT.

OKAY, HERE YOU GO.

I LOVE IT.

GREAT, AND IT'S UP.

OKAY.
THANKS, EVERYBODY.

-THANKS.
-THANK YOU.

Employee: LET'S GO OVER
THE PITCH FOR FRIDAY.

OKAY, SO...

THE ANTOINETTE DRESS.

MAJOR SCREW-UP
BY THE VENDOR.

THERE'S GONNA BE A COUPLE OF
INTERVIEWS TODAY, BEN.

WE WANT TO MAKE SURE THAT
WE BOTH FIND THE RIGHT FIT.

BUSINESS AS USUAL
IS NOT REALLY OUR MOTTO,

SO WE HOPE
YOU HAVE SOME FUN HERE.

THIS IS THE FIRST TIME WE'RE
HIRING SENIOR INTERNS,

SO SOME OF
OUR INTERN QUESTIONS

MAY NOT EXACTLY FIT
YOUR PROFILE,

BUT WE'RE GONNA GO FOR IT
ANYWAY, OKAY?

FIRE AWAY.

OKAY, GOOD.

WHERE'D YOU GO TO SCHOOL?

I WENT TO NORTHWESTERN.

HEY, MY BROTHER
WENT TO NORTHWESTERN.

PROBABLY NOT
AT THE SAME TIME.

PROBABLY NOT.
HE GRADUATED IN 2009.

CLASS OF '65.

[ CHUCKLES ]

WOW,
WHAT WAS YOUR MAJOR?

DO YOU REMEMBER?

AND AFTER NORTHWESTERN
YOU WENT ON TO...?

I WENT TO WORK
FOR DEX ONE.

OKAY, AND THEY MADE...?

PHONEBOOKS.

I WAS IN CHARGE OF
OVERSEEING

THE PRINTING
OF THE PHYSICAL PHONEBOOK.

I DID THAT FOR OVER 20 YEARS,
AND BEFORE THAT,

I WAS THEIR
V.P. OF SALES AND ADVERTISING.

SO, DO THEY STILL
MAKE PHONEBOOKS?

I MEAN, DOESN'T EVERYONE
JUST GOOGLE NUMBERS?

I BELIEVE THEY DO,
BUT BEFORE GOOGLE THAT
WAS HOW YOU GOT A NUMBER.

OH, NO, NO.
YEAH, I -- I GET IT.

SO 40 YEARS
AT THE PHONEBOOK COMPANY?

THAT IS AMAZING,
SERIOUSLY.

OKAY, BENJAMIN.

NOW, I'M GONNA ASK YOU ONE OF
OUR MORE TELLING QUESTIONS

FOR ALL OF OUR INTERNS,
SO I WANT YOU TO, LIKE,

THIS IS THE ONE
TO REALLY THINK ABOUT, OKAY?

AND --
AND TAKE YOUR TIME.

WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF
IN 10 YEARS?

WHEN I'M 80?

YEAH, SURE.

YEAH, WHATEVER.

UM...

WAIT.
DID NOT REALIZE YOU WERE 70.

THAT'S, UH -- THAT QUESTION JUST
DOESN'T WORK FOR YOU, DOES IT?

SHOULD WE JUST SCRATCH THAT ONE
AND JUST MOVE ON?

-IT'S YOUR CALL, JUSTIN.
-OKAY, THAT ONE'S GONE.

YOU LOOK GREAT, BY THE WAY.
SO GREAT.

AND YOU'RE CLEARLY MORE THAN
QUALIFIED FOR THIS JOB.

YOU'RE ACTUALLY, LIKE,
WAY OVERQUALIFIED,

AND WE WERE SO IMPRESSED.

YOU HAD GREAT INTERVIEWS,
GREAT VIDEO.

YOU NAILED IT, BEN.
CONGRATS.

YOU'RE AN INTERN.

-HEY.
-HI.

I NEED YOU FOR TWO MINUTES,
UNINTERRUPTED.

-OKAY.
-REMEMBER A FEW WEEKS AGO,

WE TALKED ABOUT
THE SENIOR INTERN PROGRAM?

-NO.
-REALLY? WE HAD A --

WE HAD A WHOLE, BIG CONVERSATION
ABOUT IT.

WE DID?
OKAY, REMIND ME.

SENIORS IN HIGH SCHOOL
OR COLLEGE?

NO, NO, NO, NO.

SENIORS IN LIFE.
OLDER PEOPLE.

HOLD ON, WHAT?

I TOLD YOU I FELT LIKE WE NEEDED
TO DO AN OUTREACH PROGRAM.

YOU DEFINITELY SEEMED TO BE
LIKING THE IDEA,

SO I SET IT IN MOTION.
IT'S GONNA BE GREAT.

HOLD, PLEASE.

YOU'RE HIRING
SENIOR CITIZEN INTERNS?

THERE'S BEEN
A TON OF RESEARCH ON THIS,

AND THE RESULTS
ARE ACTUALLY INCREDIBLE.

I MEAN, IMAGINE HAVING AN INTERN
WITH A LIFETIME OF EXPERIENCE,

AS OPPOSED TO
SOMEBODY WHO SPENT

THE LAST FOUR YEARS OF THEIR
LIFE PLAYING BEER PONG.

DO THEY EVENTUALLY
WANT JOBS HERE?

NO, DARLING,
THEY'RE ALL RETIRED.

THEY -- THEY JUST WANT
THE EXPERIENCE.

AND I WOULD LIKE ONE
TO WORK DIRECTLY WITH YOU.

WAIT, CAMERON, NO.

FIRST OF ALL,
I'M NOT GREAT WITH OLDER PEOPLE.

YOU KNOW HOW I AM
WITH MY PARENTS.

THIS COULD BE...

WHY DO I
HAVE TO HAVE ONE?

BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO
SET THE TONE.

NOW, WOULD YOU PREFER
A MAN OR A WOMAN?

THERE'S A GREAT
72-YEAR-OLD WOMAN, REALLY CUTE.

THAT'S LIKE THE SAME AGE
AS MY MOM.

-THAT'S TOO WEIRD.
-THAT'S FINE.

THERE'S A MAN EVERYONE LOVES.
HE SEEMS AMAZING.

I WATCHED HIS VIDEO
WITH THE WHOLE GROUP.

PEOPLE WERE CRYING.

OKAY, THIS IS NOT GOING TO WORK,
IN MY OPINION.

BUT HOW LONG
DO I HAVE TO DO THIS FOR?

-MINIMUM?
-SIX WEEKS OR WE'LL BE SUED.

I KNOW WE NEVER
TALKED ABOUT THIS.

YEAH, WE DID.
FOR REAL.

HE STARTS TOMORROW.

??

[ CLOCK TICKING ]

MM.

BACK IN ACTION.

THANK GOD.

Jason:
NEW INTERNS, WELCOME TO ATF.

WE ALL WORK ON THIS ONE FLOOR,
AND THAT IS BECAUSE

WE ARE ALL ABOUT
COMMUNICATION AND TEAMWORK.

NO ONE
HAS A PRIVATE OFFICE,

NOT EVEN OUR FOUNDER AND CEO,
JULES OSTIN,

WHO IS ACTUALLY
RIGHT OVER THERE.

SHE LOVES TO RIDE HER BIKE
THROUGH THE OFFICE.

THAT WOMAN DOES NOT
LIKE TO WASTE TIME.

PLUS,
SHE COUNTS IT AS EXERCISE.

THAT'S ADORABLE.

YEAH.
MM-HMM.

HEY. HOW YOU DOING?
I'M DAVIS.

HI, DAVIS.
BEN WHITTAKER.

-EXCITING PLACE, HUH?
-OH, MY GOD.

THEY HAD ONE OPENING FOR A
REGULAR-AGE INTERN, NO OFFENSE.

I GOT IT.
I'M SO PSYCHED.

I'M PRETTY PSYCHED
MYSELF.

ALL RIGHT,
A FEW WORDS ABOUT JULES.

SHE STARTED ABOUT THE FIT
ONLY 18 MONTHS AGO.

THIS WHOLE IDEA WAS HATCHED
AT JULES' KITCHEN TABLE

RIGHT HERE IN BROOKLYN.

JULES TRIED EVERYTHING ON
THAT SHE SOLD,

DESCRIBED THE FIT HERSELF,

AND APPARENTLY IT WORKED.

SHE WAS ONLINE
IN FOUR MONTHS.

SHE STARTED WITH 25 EMPLOYEES.

SHE'S NOW UP TO 216.

WITH YOU 4, 220.

WOW.

HEY, BEN, ARE YOU GONNA
WEAR A SUIT EVERY DAY?

-YOU BET.
-CONFIDENT.

I LIKE HOW YOU ROLL.

I LIKE IT A LOT.

[ BELL DINGING ]

WE JUST HIT A RECORD HIGH
OF 2,500 LIKES ON INSTAGRAM.

YEAH!

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

AND THAT'S WHAT WE DO

WHEN SOMETHING GOOD
HAPPENS AROUND HERE.

NEW INTERNS, GRAB A SEAT

AT ONE OF THE INTERN TABLES
OVER THERE.

CHECK YOUR E-MAIL. YOU MAY FIND
THAT YOU'VE BEEN ASSIGNED

TO ONE PARTICULAR PERSON
OR ONE PARTICULAR TEAM.

OR YOU MIGHT JUST BE
A FLOATER.

IT'S ALL GOOD.

OKAY,
LET ME INSTAGRAM THIS.

MOMENT IN TIME.

GRAY IS THE NEW GREEN.

TAKE A SEAT.

??

THANKS.

[ COMPUTER BEEPS ]

GOT ONE.

Cameron: "WELCOME BEN!
YOUR INTERNSHIP WILL BE

DIRECTLY WITH OUR FOUNDER,
JULES OSTIN."

OH,
I'M IN THE PHOTO STUDIO.

FLOATER.
LOVE!

HEY, BEN,
WHAT'D YOU GET?

LOOKS LIKE I'M GONNA BE
A PERSONAL INTERN.

NICE. TO?

JULES OSTIN.

UNFORTUNATE.

HANG IN THERE.

[ CHUCKLES ]

[ COMPUTER BEEPS ]

Becky: "HI BEN,
I HAVE SECURED AN APPOINTMENT

FOR YOU TO MEET WITH
JULES OSTIN TODAY AT 3:55 P.M.

PLEASE BE PROMPT AS JULES HAS
ANOTHER MEETING AT 4:00 P.M."

HMM.

ALL RIGHT,
I'M GOING TO MERCHANDISING.

BEAUTIFUL.

IT'S PERFECT.

YES, I'LL TRY TO
HAVE HER THERE AT 5:00.

UM, NO, WAIT.

I BOOKED HER WITH A VENDOR
AT 5:15.

I'M SORRY.

I'LL CALL YOU BACK.

YES, HELLO?

HI.
I'M BEN WHITTAKER.

I HAVE A 3:55 APPOINTMENT
WITH MS. OSTIN.

3:55?

I THOUGHT SHE WAS MEETING WITH
HER NEW INTERN.

THAT'S ME.

HOW YOU DOING?

I'M SORRY, UH,
HOW ARE YOU AN INTERN?

W-- IT'S THE NEW
SENIOR INTERN PROGRAM.

IT JUST STARTED TODAY.

OH, MY GOD.

UM...

How old are you?

70. YOU?

I'M 24.

I KNOW, I LOOK OLDER.

IT'S THE JOB.
IT AGES YOU.

WHICH WON'T BE GREAT
IN YOUR CASE.

SORRY.

I ACTUALLY THOUGHT
YOU LOOKED YOUNGER.

YEAH, RIGHT.

ANY TIPS
BEFORE I GO IN?

JUST TALK FAST.
SHE HATES SLOW TALKERS.

MAYBE THAT'S JUST
WHEN I TALK SLOW.

DON'T DAWDLE IN ANY WAY.
JUST KEEP IT MOVING.

AND DON'T FORGET
TO BLINK.

-BLINK?
-YEAH.

SHE HATES WHEN PEOPLE DON'T
BLINK. IT WEIRDS HER OUT.

BUT IT'S 3:57.
THIS MEETING THAT SHE'S IN

JUST TOOK UP LIKE TWO OF YOUR
F-- THEY'RE OUT. GO, GO, GO.

-OKAY, THANKS.
-GO. YEAH.

WHAT?

OH, YEAH, I'M HERE.

HI, JULES?

I'M BEN,
YOUR NEW INTERN.

I'M GLAD YOU ALSO
SEE THE HUMOR IN THIS.

BE HARD NOT TO.

SO, BEN...

I WAS GONNA SAY
WHAT IS A NICE GUY LIKE YOU

DOING AT
A PLACE LIKE THIS?

BUT CAMERON
GAVE ME THE DRILL,

SO CAN I JUST
BE HONEST WITH YOU?

PLEASE.

I'M NOT GONNA HAVE
A LOT FOR YOU TO DO.

THAT'S THE TRUTH.

AND YOU BEING ASSIGNED TO ME
IS KIND OF JUST

FOR ME TO SET AN EXAMPLE
FOR THE REST OF THE TEAM.

IF YOU ASK ME, I THINK
THAT YOU'D BE MUCH BETTER OFF

WORKING IN CREATIVE
OR MARKETING.

IT'S A LITTLE BIT
SLOWER PACE,

MAYBE A LITTLE BIT
EASIER TO GRASP.

IF YOU REQUESTED TO TRANSFER,
WE CAN MAKE THAT HAPPEN.

IF THAT'S
WHAT YOU'D PREFER.

YOU'LL BE HAPPIER, BELIEVE ME.
I AM NOT SO FUN TO WORK FOR.

THAT'S WHAT I GATHER,
BUT I CAN GET ALONG WITH ANYONE,

AND I'M HERE TO
LEARN ABOUT YOUR WORLD,

GIVE HELP WHERE I CAN,
SO...

SO,
YOU DON'T WANT TO TRANSFER?

NOT REALLY, SIR.

I'M TERRIBLY SORRY.

EXCUSE ME.

OKAY.

WELL, THEN, LOOKS LIKE
YOU'RE STUCK WITH ME.

GREAT, I'M EXCITED.

I WILL E-MAIL YOU WHEN
I HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU TO DO.

OR I COULD JUST STOP BY
A FEW TIMES A DAY, CHECK IN...?

I'LL E-MAIL YOU.

ALSO, DON'T FEEL LIKE
YOU HAVE TO DRESS UP.

I MEAN,
WE'RE SUPER CAS HERE.

WELL, I'M COMFORTABLE IN A SUIT,
IF IT'S OKAY.

NO, IT'S FINE.

OLD SCHOOL.

EXACTLY.

AT LEAST
I'LL STAND OUT.

I DON'T THINK YOU NEED A SUIT
TO DO THAT.

TRUE.

WELL, I THINK WE DID IT
IN LESS THAN TWO MINUTES.

I'LL WAIT TO
HEAR FROM YOU.

OKAY.

WANT THE DOOR
OPEN OR CLOSED?

DOESN'T MATTER.

OPEN, ACTUALLY.

YOU'LL GET USED TO ME.

LOOK FORWARD TO IT.

??

HI.

HI.

HI.

HI.

HOWDY.

WHAT DO YOU NEED?

[ CHUCKLES ]

NO.

WHAT'S UP, BEN?
ARE YOU GOOD?

PERFECT.

OKAY.

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]

THE V-NECK BACK TEE?

THIS IS HOLLY.

CAN YOU
RUN THAT UP TO THEM?

YEAH, NO, NO, WE LOVE
THE WHOLE LINE, MARK.

Lewis:
OKAY, SO YOU CAN ZOOM OUT.

-LIKE THAT.
-I'M GOING TO A MEETING.

I'LL BE BACK IN AN HOUR.
WE'LL TALK THEN?

AND THEN YOU CAN JUST
CLICK HERE TO BUY IT.

COOL, YEAH.

??

[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]

HELLO?

HI, YEAH.

ALL RIGHT.

YOU STAYING?

CAN'T LEAVE
BEFORE THE BOSS LEAVES, DAVIS.

LOOKS LIKE
YOU'RE GONNA BE HERE A WHILE.

ALL RIGHT.
SEE YOU IN THE MORNING, BEN.

HAVE A GOOD NIGHT.

YOU, TOO.

[ ALARM BEEPING, RINGING ]

LET'S MAKE IT HAPPEN.

THANKS.

HOW ABOUT I PUSH,
YOU DELIVER?

THANK YOU.

I LIKE THAT THERE'S FOUR FAVES
INSTEAD OF THREE,

BUT CAN I SEE THE ONE
WITHOUT THE JACKET JUST TO...

SURE.

HI.

OKAY, SO THEY WANT TO KNOW

WHAT CUSTOMERS BOUGHT
WHO DIDN'T COME BACK

SO THEY CAN SPOT A PROBLEM
IF THERE IS ONE, RIGHT?

YEAH, BUT
I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW TO--

ALL RIGHT, WELL, HERE'S
WHAT I THINK WE SHOULD DO.

-BEN!
-WE SHOULD GO--

BEN! HEY, LOOK.
HERE SHE COMES.

WATCH HOW
SHE WON'T EVEN--

HEY, BECK.
WHAT'S UP?

YOU LOOK
REALLY NICE TO--

HOW LONG CAN A WOMAN
BE MAD AT YOU FOR?

WELL, IT KIND OF
DEPENDS ON WHAT YOU DID.

WELL, FIRST OF ALL,
NOTHING ON PURPOSE.

WE WERE GOING OUT
FOR A MINUTE.

I THOUGHT SHE WAS COOL.
I REALLY LIKED HER.

BUT THEN I SORT OF
ACCIDENTALLY...

-SLEPT WITH HER ROOMMATE.
-THAT DOESN'T HELP.

I DIDN'T KNOW
SHE WAS HER ROOMMATE.

I MET HER OUT.
HOW WOULD I KNOW THAT?

-HEY, NIKKI.
-BEN, TELL ME.

I DON'T KNOW THIS STUFF.

YOU'RE OLDER.

YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH
A LOT.

I MEAN, YOU -- I MEAN,
YOU HAVE A LOT OF EXPERIENCE.

HOW LONG DO YOU THINK
SHE'LL BE MAD AT ME FOR?

JAY, I HAVE ZERO EXPERIENCE
WITH WOMEN,

AND I CAN TELL YOU, THERE'S
NO COMING BACK FROM THAT ONE.

I MEAN, I ASSUME
YOU TALKED TO HER, APOLOGIZED,

TOLD HER
HOW MUCH SHE MEANS TO YOU.

WELL, YOU KNOW...

YOU DIDN'T TALK TO HER?

WHAT DID YOU DO,
SEND HER A TWEET?

NO, OF COURSE NOT.

I, LIKE, TEXTED HER
A BILLION TIMES.

SHE DIDN'T ANSWER,
SO THEN I E-MAILED HER.

BUT IT WAS LIKE,
A NICE E-MAIL.

IT WAS A LONG ONE,
WELL THOUGHT OUT.

SUBJECT LINE I WROTE,
"I'M SOOORRY,"

WITH LIKE A TON OF O's.

SO IT WAS LIKE,
"I'M SOOORRY,"

WITH A SAD EMOTICON
WHERE HE'S CRYING

AT THE SIDE OF
ITS LITTLE CHEEK.

I SHOULD PROBABLY ACTUALLY
JUST TALK TO HER, HUH?

OBVIOUSLY.

CAN'T IMAGINE
IT WOULD HURT.

OH, DID YESTERDAY'S NUMBERS
COME IN?

YEAH.

WE COULD DO IT THAT WAY,
TOO.

I NOTICED MY INTERN
SURE KEEPS BUSY.

MR. CONGENIALITY.

HE'S A VERY BIG HIT.

EVERYBODY LOVES HIM.

OKAY,
DO NOT LOOK AT THAT DESK.

IT'S LIKE
THE OFFICE JUNK DRAWER.

IT'S JUST GONNA
DRIVE YOU CRAZY.

YOU JUST DID THAT.

WHAT, ARE YOU
PREPARING FOR SURGERY?

OKAY, SERIOUSLY?

LIKE,
HOW DID THIS EVEN HAPPEN?

[ TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYS ]

NO, NO, I-I CAN SET IT UP.

SHE'S JUST IN A MEETING.

HI.
SOMETHING I CAN HELP YOU WITH?

YES, JULES SPILLED SOY SAUCE
ON HER SAINT LAURENT JACKET.

CAN YOU TAKE IT
TO THE PHOTO STUDIO?

THERE'S LOTS OF CLEANERS
AND STUFF IN THERE.

SURE.
WHERE IS IT?

SHE'S WEARING IT.

THEY WOULD LIKE US
TO CONSIDER THE POSSIBILITY...

OKAY.

...OF, UH, MEETING WITH
SOME, UH, POTENTIAL CEOs.

WOW.

I DID NOT
SEE THAT COMING.

W-WHY? UH...

AM I TOO INEXPERIENCED
AT RUNNING A BUSINESS?

I-I DIDN'T GO TO HARVARD?

MY -- MY METHODS
AREN'T BY THE BOOK?

I MEAN,
ISN'T THAT HOW WE GOT HERE?

REALLY?

I NEED ADULT SUPERVISION?

COULD WE BE DOING BETTER?

WE HIT OUR FIVE-YEAR GOAL
IN NINE MONTHS.

EXACTLY.

JULES, WE CAN'T KEEP UP
WITH OUR OWN SUCCESS.

YOU KNOW THAT.

YOU'RE AN HOUR LATE
TO EVERY MEETING.

WE HAVE A NAME FOR IT --
JULES STANDARD TIME.

AND LOOK, I GET IT. THERE'S ONLY
SO MANY HOURS IN THE DAY.

WE'RE ALL PLAYING CATCHUP.

OUR TECH GUYS WORK UNTIL
2:00, 3:00 IN THE MORNING.

CUSTOMER SERVICE
IS SLAMMED.

WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF
INVENTORY.

WE'VE GOT SHIPPING ISSUES
AND PROGRAMMING PROBLEMS.

AND -- AND THE BIGGER WE GET,

THE MORE COMPLICATED
IT'S GONNA GET.

BUT ISN'T THIS
WHAT A STARTUP IS?

WHAT?

SAY IT. WHAT IS EVERYONE
SO WORRIED ABOUT?

THAT IT'S ALL GOING TOO FAST,
AND IT COULD GET AWAY FROM US.

OUR INVESTORS JUST THINK
THAT A SEASONED CEO

COULD TAKE SOME THINGS
OFF YOUR PLATE.

THAT'S ALL. JUST FREE YOU UP
TO DO WHAT YOU DO GREAT.

YOU COME UP WITH THE IDEAS,

AND LET SOMEBODY ELSE
MAKE THE TRAINS RUN ON TIME.

BUT, CAMERON,
THIS NEW PERSON,

THEY ARE GOING TO
WANT TO DO THINGS THEIR WAY.

TECHNICALLY
BE MY BOSS.

I MEAN,
HOW CAN I DO WHAT I DO

IF I HAVE TO
REPORT TO SOMEONE ELSE,

RUN EVERY IDEA I HAVE
BY THIS PERSON?

CAN YOU
SEE THAT WORKING?

WELL,
GILT GROUPE BROUGHT IN A CEO.

HOW ARE THEY DOING?

I MEAN, GET ME CEO LESSONS,
YOU KNOW?

[ SIGHS ]

Ben: UH, EXCUSE ME.

I APOLOGIZE,

BUT BECKY SAID YOU NEEDED
SOMETHING TAKEN CARE OF

ON YOUR JACKET.

OH, RIGHT.

THANK YOU, BEN.

OF COURSE.

THE V.C.s MADE UP A LIST
OF POTENTIAL CEOs.

LET'S JUST TAKE A LOOK
AT THE LIST.

EXPLORE IT,
THEN DECIDE.

BABY STEPS.

BEN.

SOMETHING BIG
GOING ON IN THERE?

I COULDN'T SAY.

YOU WERE IN THERE
A LONG TIME.

I CAN'T HEAR A THING.

Psst!

SAY SOMETHING
ABOUT ME TO HER.

[ Mouthing ]
NO, YOU HAVE TO DO IT.

ON MY WAY, BOSS.

HMM. BOSS.

??

HEY, BEN. BEN.

HOW OLD'S
THAT BRIEFCASE?

IT'S A 1973 EXECUTIVE ASHBURN
ATTACH�.

THEY DON'T MAKE IT ANYMORE.

I'M A LITTLE
IN LOVE WITH IT.

IT'S A CLASSIC, LEWIS.
IT'S UNBEATABLE.

GOOD NIGHT.

BYE.

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]

Jules: OH, MY GOD.
SOMEBODY CLEANED UP THAT DESK.

I SWEAR, I WAS GONNA STAY LATE
AND DO THIS MYSELF.

WASN'T ME.

BEN CAME IN AT 7:00 THIS MORNING
AND DID IT.

WHO?

BEN.

YOUR INTERN.

BEN WHITTAKER.

SOMEONE'S VERY HAPPY.

BRILLIANT.
THANK YOU.

BEST THING THAT'S HAPPENED
AROUND HERE ALL WEEK.

[ BELL DINGS ]

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

THANK YOU.

THIS IS YOUR GIFT
FOR A JOB WELL DONE.

I'M FIONA,
THE HOUSE MASSEUSE.

HI, FIONA.

-HI.
-BEN.

HI.
DOES THAT FEEL OKAY?

IT FEELS GREAT, ACTUALLY.
THANK YOU.

OKAY. YOU'RE A LITTLE BIT TIGHT,
BEN.

WELL, I HAVEN'T SAT AT A DESK
FOR A WHILE.

-MY BODY'S NOT USED TO IT.
-NO, I GET IT.

PLUS, THEY SAY
SITTING IS THE NEW SMOKING.

LET ME SEE
WHAT I CAN DO.

I, UH, SPOTTED YOU
IN THE LUNCHROOM.

I WONDERED WHO YOU WERE.

-DID YOU? OH.
-YEAH.

THEN SOMEONE TOLD ME
YOU WERE AN INTERN.

THAT'S PRETTY COOL OF YOU
TO DO THIS.

WELL, IT'S A BRAVE NEW WORLD.
THOUGHT I'D JUMP IN.

SEE WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT.

YEAH, I KNOW.
ABSOLUTELY.

I'M CONSTANTLY AMAZED
AT WHAT THEY DO HERE.

LOVE BEING
A PART OF IT.

OH.

-OH, MY GOD.
-YEAH.

THERE. YEAH.
RIGHT THERE.

HOW'S THAT, BEN?

WELL, IT'S -- OH, BOY.

GOOD.

JASON.

OKAY, GOOD.
GOOD, GOOD.

THERE, GOOD.

HERE YOU GO.

A LITTLE TIGHT
RIGHT HERE.

IS THAT BETTER?

-OH, BOY, OH, BOY.
-OH, HOW'S THAT?

OH, BOY.

WELL, IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU,
BEN.

LOVE THAT THERE'S ANOTHER
OLDIE BUT GOODIE HERE.

NICE TO MEET YOU.

SEE YOU LATER?

LOVE TO.

ME, TOO.

[ LAUGHTER ]

YOU'RE NOT AS OLD
AS I THOUGHT YOU WERE.

OOH!

WAIT, SO YOU'RE SAYING
YOU SHAVE EVERY DAY?

-YES.
-EVEN ON SUNDAYS?

-EVERY DAY.
-OKAY, AND EVEN IF YOU KNOW

THAT YOU'RE NOT GONNA SEE
ANYONE THAT YOU KNOW?

-YES.
-HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?

I'M ON
cheapapartments.com,

AND I LITERALLY CAN'T AFFORD
A SINGLE APARTMENT

IN ALL OF BROOKLYN.

MY PARENTS GAVE ME TWO WEEKS
TO FIND A PLACE,

AND THAT'S JUST NOT
GONNA HAPPEN.

GETTING EVICTED?

HEY, I'M IN NO RUSH,
BUT APPARENTLY THEY ARE.

ALL RIGHT, HERE.
LET ME SEE YOUR PHONE.

Cheapapartments.com.
HAVE YOU TRIED CRAIGSLIST?

-YES.
-OKAY. THEN I AM OUT OF IDEAS.

[ ELEVATOR BELL DINGS ]

JULES. HI.
HOW ARE YOU?

HI. HOW ARE YOU?

-HEY.
-HEY.

-HOW'S IT GOING?
-WELL, GOOD.

-MIKE, RIGHT?
-YEAH.

YEAH, I'M BEN.
I WORK FOR JULES.

YEAH, SHE'LL BE DOWN
IN A MINUTE.

I KNOW.

LOOK, I DON'T WANT TO MAKE YOU
FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE,

BUT I JUST HAPPEN TO HAVE
LOOKED OUT THE WINDOW,

AND IT APPEARED
YOU WERE DRINKING SOMETHING

FROM A PAPER BAG.

I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, MAN.

WHY DON'T YOU TELL HER
YOU CAN'T DRIVE HER TODAY,

OR I'M GONNA HAVE TO.

WE ALL GOOD?

YEAH.

JULES,
I'M SORRY TO DO THIS,

BUT I'M ACTUALLY
NOT FEELING SO HOT.

NOT SURE
I SHOULD BE DRIVING.

I WOULDN'T WANT TO
GIVE YOU ANYTHING.

OH, SURE.

YEAH, NO, YOU SHOULD
TAKE THE DAY OFF

AND FEEL BETTER, OKAY?

THANKS.

I'M HAPPY
TO COVER FOR MIKE.

THAT'S OKAY.
BECKY CAN DRIVE ME.

REALLY?
YOU WANT TO GIVE HER MORE TO DO?

I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND
IF I DON'T GET IN THE FRONT.

I-I'M NOT TRYING TO BE RUDE.
I JUST THINK BETTER IN THE BACK.

I MEAN, I COULD
GET IN THE FRONT, BUT --

NO, NO, NO.
THIS IS PERFECT.

YEAH.

[ CELLPHONE RINGS ]

AND EVERYTHING YOU HEAR IN THE
CAR IS STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL.

-OKAY?
-GOES WITHOUT SAYING.

-HI, MOM.
-Oh, I found you.

YEAH. SO, WHAT'S UP?
HOW'S EVERYTHING?

Well, your dad and I
are finally putting together

all our research
at the hospital.

[ KEYS CLACKING ]

THAT'S GREAT.

I hear you typing.

That's better.

So, we've been studying
women under 40

who sleep less than
six hours a night.

-AND WHAT'D YOU FIND OUT?
-It's interesting.

It seems like
they're 38% more likely

to experience major weight gain

compared to women who slept
seven hours a night.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

YOU KNOW I HAVEN'T SLEPT
IN TWO YEARS.

Well, I can't change
the facts, dear.

MOM, YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M RUSHING INTO THE CITY FOR
A MEETING AND I NEED TO PREPARE.

CAN I CALL YOU
WHEN I GET HOME?

Oh, you don't have to.

OKAY. LOVE YOU.

Thank you.

[ CELLPHONE CLICKS ]

[ SKYPE RINGTONE PLAYS ]

Hey, how we doing?

Did you look over
the material on Atwood?

YEAH, I DID.

UH, HE HAD A GREAT RUN AT
TRAVELOCITY AND CITIGROUP...

AND I GET IT.
HE'S MAJOR.

He is.
And the best thing about him

is he's been watching us,
and he loves what we're doing.

But he's only one of the names
on the list.

So if you don't like him,
we move on.

But, Jules,
try to be open.

He's supposed to
be brilliant.

And the V.C.s love him.
A lot.

MARK ZUCKERBERG
NEVER BROUGHT IN A CEO,

AND HE WAS A TEENAGER.

Call me after.

OKAY.

OH, THANKS,
BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO.

-I CAN OPEN THE DOOR.
-SURE.

OKAY, SO, THIS SHOULDN'T
TAKE MORE THAN AN HOUR.

BUT IF YOU CAN'T STAY HERE,

I'LL CALL BECKY
AND THEN SHE'LL FIND YOU.

AND THEN
YOU CAN JUST PULL UP --

DON'T WORRY.
I'LL BE HERE.

I THINK
I FORGOT TO EAT TODAY.

SHOULD I PICK YOU UP
SOME SUSHI?

NO,
I EAT TOO MUCH MERCURY.

I'LL BE FINE.
I'M GOOD.

I'M ACTUALLY KIND OF NAUSEOUS,
SO...

[ SIGHS ]

??

THAT WAS FAST.

NOT FAST ENOUGH.

OH, I-I PICKED YOU UP SOME SOUP
FROM A PLACE I KNOW.

THANKS.

YOU REALLY DIDN'T HAVE TO D--
TO DO --

OH, MY GOD,
THAT SMELLS SO GOOD.

GOOD.

[ CELLPHONE RINGS ]

WORD TRAVELS FAST.

PRETTY SHORT MEETING.

-YEAH. I HATED HIM.
-REALLY? WHAT HAPPENED?

I THOUGHT HE WAS
A CONDESCENDING,
SEXIST KNOW-IT-ALL

WHO DID NOT SEEM TO GET
WHAT WE DO AT ALL.

AND, HONESTLY, I THINK
HE WOULD RUN OUR BUSINESS

IN A COMPLETELY INORGANIC WAY
THAT WOULD LOSE US

ALL THE CUSTOMERS
WE HAVE KILLED OURSELVES TO GET.

OH, AND I THINK
THAT HE WOULD REPLACE US

AS SOON AS
HE GOT THE CHANCE.

Oh, and...

[Chuckles]
the man never blinked.

An Olympian non-blinker.

OKAY, THEN.

Yeah.

SEE YOU IN THE A.M.?

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE.

I'M SORRY.

Hey, don't be.

??

I JUST WANTED TO SAY THANK YOU
FOR HELPING OUT WITH MIKE TODAY

AND FOR
GETTING ME CHICKEN SOUP.

OH, AND FOR CLEANING THAT MESS.
THAT WAS AWESOME.

SERIOUSLY.

YOU'RE VERY WELCOME.

IT'S OKAY.
I REALLY WON'T BITE.

YOU STARTED THIS BUSINESS ALL BY
YOURSELF A YEAR AND A HALF AGO,

AND NOW YOU HAVE
A STAFF OF 220 PEOPLE.

REMEMBER WHO DID THAT.

WHO?

[ CHUCKLES ]

UM, THANK YOU.

AND I HATE TO SAY IT,
BUT TRY TO GET SOME SLEEP.

-MOMMY.
-HEY!

HI.

-HI.
-HERE'S MY FAVORITE GIRL.

HEY, BABY.
[ SMOOCHES ]

-HI, HONEY.
-HEY.

OVER THE HUMP.

SO, HOW WAS YOUR DAY?

KIND OF OKAY.
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?

MADDIE SAID SHE DIDN'T WANT TO
BE MY FRIEND ANYMORE.

OH.

YOU KNOW WHAT?
I DON'T THINK SHE MEANT IT.

SHE'D MISS YOU TOO MUCH.
[ SMOOCHES ]

I'M STARTING TO THINK
THAT MADDIE IS BIPOLAR.

WE GO THROUGH THIS
EVERY OTHER DAY.

WE DO.

OH, HOW WAS YOUR MEETING?
IT WAS TODAY, RIGHT?

YEAH, JUST HAD IT.

MOMMY, I THINK I'M WINNING.
LOOK!

OH, THAT IS SO COOL.

YEAH, THAT'S
THE PLAY-DOH CAKE CHALLENGE.

WE'RE NOT FINISHING
UNTIL TOMORROW,

SO PLEASE HOLD
ON ALL JUDGING.

NOT TO MENTION THAT WE HAD
AN ACCIDENT WITH MINE

WHEN SOMEONE, NOT TO NAME
ANY NAMES, PUT HER ELBOW IN IT.

-WHAT?
-IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

WELL, I GOT TO SAY,
I LOVE THE PINK ONE A LOT.

THAT'S MINE.
ARE YOU HAPPY AT ME?

I AM SO HAPPY AT YOU.
I'M BEYOND HAPPY AT YOU.

DADDY HELPED ME
WITH THE ICING.

GOOD JOB, YOU GUYS.

SO, HOW ABOUT
I GIVE YOU YOUR BATH, OKAY?

WAIT, HANG ON.
I WAS WAITING FOR YOUR CALL.

SO,
YOU DIDN'T LIKE THE GUY?

HE WASN'T
A GOOD FIT FOR ME.

BUT A LOT OF OTHER NAMES
ON THE LIST, SO...

YEAH.

I'M GONNA
BEAT YOU UPSTAIRS.

? DO I WANT YOU? ?

? OH, MY, DO I? ?

[ ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS ]

Miles: BEN,
I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN DAYS.

THAT'S RIGHT, HOMEY.
BEN'S GOT A JOB.

Patty:
OH, YOU'RE NEVER HOME.

WHAT DO YOU DO--
NEVER MIND. IT'S PATTY.

[ ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS ]

? OH, MY, AND I DO I? ?

? YOU KNOW, HONEY ?

? 'DEED I DO ?

[ DIALING ]

? I'M GLAD THAT I'M THE ONE ?

FIONA: Hello?

HI, UH, FIONA.

IT'S BEN WHITTAKER
FROM ABOUT THE FIT.

Oh, hey.
It's good to hear your voice.

OH, IT'S GOOD
TO HEAR YOUR VOICE, TOO.

It was great
meeting you today.

I CALLED YOU QUICKER
THAN YOU THOUGHT I WOULD.

I'm glad you did.
[ Laughs ]

JULES.

Shh.
Let her sleep, Dad.

Okay.

Okay.

WHEN I HEARD THAT,
I WAS LIKE, "GOOD,

BECAUSE I DEFINITELY WASN'T
EATING LUNCHABLES BEFORE."

[ LAUGHTER ]

YEAH, THEY'RE COMING OUT WITH

A MORE GROWN-UP VERSION
OF LUNCHABLES.

UH, THEY'RE CALLED
SO YOU STILL CAN'T COOK-ABLES.

UH, GROW-UP-ABLES ALREADY.

[ TELEVISION SHUTS OFF ]

I TRIED TO STAY UP.

I KNOW.

I'M SORRY I FELL ASLEEP
IN THERE. I JUST PASSED OUT.

I KNOW WE HAD A PLAN TO HAVE
A GROWN-UP CONVERSATION.

YOU WANT TO
NETFLIX SOMETHING?

HM?

I'M SORRY.
I JUST FELL OUT FOR A SECOND.

IT'S OKAY.

PAIGE LEARNED TO SAY
"HUMONGOUS" TODAY.

REALLY?

CRACKS ME UP.

SHE LOOKS AT ME,
SHE SAYS,

"YOU'RE A VERY HUMONGOUS DAD,
DAD."

OH.

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

OH, GOD. YOU KNOW I HATE
TO SOUND LIKE THE OTHER MOMS.

BUT I'M STARTING TO FEEL LIKE
I NEED A LITTLE ME TIME.

I KNOW.

GOOD NIGHT.

ANYBODY HOME?

CAN'T KEEP MY EYES OPEN,
JULE.

WE'LL DO IT TOMORROW,
OKAY?

[ SIGHS ]

CAN YOU TURN OUT
YOUR LIGHT?

[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]

[ TELEPHONE BEEPS ]

HELLO?

Hey, Ben.
It's Becky.

From Jules' office?

YEAH, HEY.
WHAT'S UP?

Jules' driver is M.I.A.

He's not answering
any of my texts.

I know
you drove Jules yesterday,

and I didn't hear
any complaints.

So can you pick her up
this morning?

-SURE.
-You know where she lives?

-I WAS THERE YESTERDAY.
-Okay, so you remember.

-YEAH.
-And you're hearing me, right?

LOUD AND CLEAR, BOSS.

Okay, so be there at 7:45,
ring the bell, and walk away.

She'll know it's you.

RING BELL, WALK AWAY.
GOT IT.

[ DOORBELL RINGS ]

OH, WALK AWAY.

HANG ON.
I'M COMING.

HI. HERE FOR JULES?

YEAH, HI, SORRY.
I'LL WAIT IN THE CAR.

UH, SHE'S ON A CALL.
DO YOU WANT TO COME IN?

I JUST MADE SOME COFFEE.

COULD BE A WHILE.

I'M MATT.

BEN WHITTAKER.

GOOD TO MEET YOU.
COME ON IN.

LEGOS EVERYWHERE,
SO WATCH YOUR STEP.

SURE.

Jules: MAYBE FEATURE SOME
BLOGGERS ON THE HOMEPAGE?

HAVE A SEAT, BEN.

HEY, PAIGE, THIS IS BEN.
HE WORKS WITH MOMMY.

-HI.
-HI.

I'M PLAYING
PRINCESS MEMORY GAME.

OH, YEAH.
LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE ABOUT TO WIN.

SO,
YOUR JULES' NEW DRIVER?

NO, ACTUALLY,
I'M HER INTERN.

THAT'S HYSTERICAL.

YOU KNOW
WHAT AN INTERN IS?

NO.

THAT'S OKAY.
EVERYONE THINKS IT'S HYSTERICAL.

HEY, MATT, DID A--

MORNING.

MORNING.

IS THAT ALL
DRY-CLEANING?

THESE THREE ARE.
THESE TWO ARE LAUNDRY.

AND THIS BUTTON --
THIS BUTTON IS MISSING.

I MEAN, IT'S LOOSE, SO...

-OKAY.
-IF THEY COULD JUST...

-YOU GOT IT.
-THANKS.

HEY, AND, HONEY,
UH, BEFORE YOU LEAVE,

JUST GOT TO
GO OVER A COUPLE THINGS.

OKAY.

-LOOK WHO I FOUND.
-YAY!

-HE WAS IN YOUR HAMPER.
-THANK YOU.

MATTY,
DID AN ATF BOX ARRIVE FOR ME?

ON THE TABLE.

UH, I -- I THINK
I'LL JUST WAIT -- WAIT OUT--

BEN.
DO YOU WANT A RAISIN?

-THANK YOU.
-[ GIGGLES ]

OKAY, SO TONIGHT,
YOU'RE WORKING...

ARE YOU LISTENING,
OR DID I LOSE YOU?

BEN,
IS SHE LISTENING?

I AM TOTALLY LISTENING.

I ORDERED SOME STUFF
TO CHECK ON HOW IT ARRIVED.

NOT GREAT,
BY THE WAY.

GO ON.
TONIGHT?

YEAH, OKAY.
YOU'RE WORKING,

SO PAIGE AND I ARE GONNA
GO TO MY MOM'S FOR DINNER.

AFTER SCHOOL'S
RUBY'S BIRTHDAY PARTY.

AND, UH,
WHAT ABOUT NEXT MONDAY?

DO YOU KNOW YET IF WE CAN GO TO
DINNER WITH ROBBIE AND ANNIE?

OH,
I'M SO SLAMMED NEXT WEEK.

I'M SORRY.
IF YOU WANT TO GO, I'LL MAKE IT.

-WHEN WAS IT?
-OH, MY GOD. MONDAY.

OKAY, I'M SORRY. I WAS FIXATED
ON THIS TISSUE PAPER.

I WILL BE THERE.

OKAY.

THANK YOU FOR THE COFFEE.
THANKS FOR LETTING ME PLAY.

OH! SORRY.

I'LL MEET YOU IN THE CAR.

ACTUALLY, I HAVE TO GO.
COME ON, SWEETIE.

BEN, WE'RE GONNA
DROP PAIGE AT SCHOOL, OKAY?

-HERE WE GO.
-LET'S DO IT.

KISS DADDY GOODBYE.
MWAH!

HEY, WAIT.
YOU FORGOT YOUR DOGGY.

[ SMOOCHES ]

MATT SEEMS LIKE
A TERRIFIC GUY.

HMM?

SORRY,
DIDN'T MEAN TO INTERRUPT.

UH, THAT'S OKAY.
I AGREE. HE IS.

WHO? THE DAD?

THAT'S WHAT THE OTHER KIDS
CALL MATT

BECAUSE HE'S THE ONLY DAD
IN A SEA OF MOMS.

I'VE READ ABOUT
THESE HOUSEHUSBANDS.

IT'S INTERESTING
HOW THAT ALL WORKED JUST NOW.

THEY ACTUALLY PREFER TO BE
CALLED STAY-AT-HOME DADS.

OH, SORRY.
DID NOT KNOW THAT.

WELL,
IT'S VERY ADMIRABLE.

HE'S A REAL
21st-CENTURY FATHER.

HE IS.

HE ACTUALLY
HAD A GREAT JOB IN MARKETING,

BUT, UM,
WHEN ABOUT THE FIT TOOK OFF,

HE LEFT
TO BE A FULL-TIME DAD.

TOTALLY SAVED OUR BUTTS.

[ KEYS CLICKING ]

OH, WE'RE HERE,
BIG GIRL.

I DO THIS IN THE CAFETERIA

TO MY LUNCH FRIENDS
WHEN THEY'RE DON'T LOOKING.

-YOU DO THAT?
-HEY, JULES.

HI.
NICE TO SEE YOU HERE.

UH, NOT SURE
IF YOU GOT OUR E-MAIL,

BUT WE'RE DOING A FIESTA LUNCH
NEXT FRIDAY,

AND WE THOUGHT
YOU COULD BRING THE GUACAMOLE.

UH, YOU PROBABLY WON'T HAVE TIME
TO MAKE IT, SO YOU CAN BUY IT.

WHICH IS FINE.

ENOUGH FOR 18.

NO, I CAN MAKE IT.
IT'S NOT A PROBLEM.

GREAT.
MATT CAN BRING IT.

TOTALLY.

BYE.

ALL RIGHT.
HAVE A GREAT DAY, SWEET PEA.

HAVE FUN AT RUBY'S PARTY,
OKAY?

MOMMY? DO YOU KNOW HOW
TO MAKE GUACAMOLE?

YES, I DO.
REALLY WELL, IN FACT.

WE'RE --
WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT TOGETHER.

AND AFTER THAT, WE'LL HAVE
A MOTHER-DAUGHTER DANCE PARTY?

[ CHUCKLES ]

HEY, MADDIE.
WHAT'S UP?

Bipolar.

OH, MY GOD.

COME HERE.

OH, I LOVE YOU,
BIG GIRL.

I LOVE YOU, TOO.

GOD.

TAKING THE HIGH ROAD
IS EXHAUSTING.

IT'S 2015.

[ SEAT BELT CLICKS ]

ARE WE REALLY STILL CRITICAL
OF WORKING MOMS?

SERIOUSLY? STILL?

I'M SORRY.
THAT WAS ALL RHETORICAL.

THERE'S NO NEED
TO RESPOND.

WASN'T GOING TO.

[ CELLPHONE DINGS ]

OH, BEN.

I WANT TO
STOP BY THE WAREHOUSE.

480 GREENPOINT.

SURE.

NO, NO, NO, NO.
YOU WANT TO MAKE A RIGHT.

9th TO HAMILTON
TO THE EXPRESSWAY.

UH, I THINK WE SHOULD TAKE
4th TO FLATBUSH. MUCH FASTER.

I-IT WON'T BE.

BY 12 MINUTES, AT LEAST.

CAN I TRY?

I APOLOGIZE.

NO NEED.

Jules: TRY TO LINE THE DOTS UP
THE BEST YOU CAN.

AND THEN...

OKAY.

IF YOU CAN,
TRY TO PULL THIS TOWARDS YOU,

HOLDING IT ON THE OUTSIDE.

GOOD MEETING YOU.

OKAY, SO THEN
PUT THAT ON LIGHTLY.

PUT IT DOWN WITH TWO.
SECURE IT.

OUR PACKAGE SHOULD FEEL LIKE
THEY'RE GETTING

A LITTLE GIFT
THAT THEY BOUGHT FOR THEMSELVES.

? TALL AND TAN
AND YOUNG AND LOVELY ?

? THE GIRL FROM IPANEMA
GOES WALKING ?

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

IT'S OPEN.

BEN.

-WOW.
-COME ON IN.

-DIDN'T EXPECT THIS.
-YEAH.

I LIKE TO THINK OF IT
AS A LITTLE BIT OF PARADISE.

CAN I INTEREST YOU
IN A BACK RUB?

OH, NO, THANKS.

I JUST CAME BY BECAUSE
I FOUND OUT I HAVE TO WORK LATE.

OH.
THEN NO DINNER TONIGHT.

SORRY. I WAS REALLY
LOOKING FORWARD TO IT.

BUT I'M HOPING
WE CAN PICK ANOTHER NIGHT.

OF COURSE.
COME SIT DOWN.

LET ME HAVE YOUR JACKET.

-OH.
-JUST FOR A MINUTE.

COME ON. RELAX.

OKAY,
HOW ABOUT A FOOT MASSAGE?

DURING OFFICE HOURS?

YEAH,
THAT'S KIND OF THE POINT.

-MAY I?
-WELL...

OKAY.

IT'S ALREADY
PRETTY GOOD.

ALL I'VE DONE
IS TAKE OFF YOUR SOCK.

WELL,
NO ONE'S EVER DONE THAT BETTER.

JUST RELAX.

CLOSE YOUR EYES.

PUT YOUR HEAD BACK.

OH.

SO, WHEN WOULD YOU
LIKE TO RESCHEDULE?

-TOMORROW?
-[ CHUCKLES ]

CAN'T TOMORROW.
WHAT ABOUT SATURDAY?

GOOD.

OH, GOD.
THIS IS ENORMOUSLY SATISFYING.

WHAT TIME
SHOULD I PICK YOU UP?

NOON?
I LOVE DAYTIME DATES.

LUNCH, PERFECT.
IT'S SOONER.

SO, HOW'S IT GOING?
HOW'S JULES?

I MEAN, SHE WORKS ON
ALL CYLINDERS ALL THE TIME.

DOESN'T STOP, DOESN'T SLEEP,
NEVER SEE HER EAT.

MAYBE IT'S GOOD THAT I'M HERE,
YOU KNOW?

I HOPE I CAN HELP HER.

I KNEW
YOU WERE GONNA BE A GOOD GUY.

I KNEW IT.

TRY TO RELAX.

OH.

OH.

OH.

OOH.

[ MOANING ]

OH. WOW.

OH, MY GOD.

I'M SORRY! I'M LEAVING!
I'M LEAVING!

SORRY! DON'T STOP!
I'M LEAVING.

OH, MY SHOE.

SORRY.

-SO?
-I DON'T KNOW, KID.

THIS LEASE
DOESN'T LOOK SO HOT TO ME.

THREE-MONTH SECURITY DEPOSIT.
YOU MUST REALLY LOVE THIS PLACE.

NO, IT'S HORRIBLE.

BUT I CAN GET IN
THIS WEEK.

WELL, IF I WERE YOU,
I'D KEEP LOOKING.

-OKAY.
-HEY, LEWIS.

WHAT'S UP?
I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU SO AWAKE.

I WAS JUST ASKED TO DELIVER
THIS HUGE ORDER TO TRIBECA,

AND I THINK
IT'S TO JAY Z's APARTMENT.

I'M NOT KIDDING.
LOOK, IT SAYS, "S. CARTER."

-I'M A LITTLE FREAKED OUT.
-I DON'T KNOW WHO THAT IS,

BUT IS THIS
SOMEONE YOU WANT TO IMPRESS?

THIS IS A GENIUS, BEN.

WHOA, WHAT IF BEYONC�
OPENS THE DOOR?

OH, MY GOD.

OKAY, NOW I KNOW
WHO YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

WELL, MAYBE YOU SHOULD PUT ON
A PROPER SHIRT WITH A COLLAR.

A COLLAR?
THESE ARE HIP-HOP PEOPLE.

DRESS TO IMPRESS, LEWIS.
GO TO THE RACK.

FIND A BOYFRIEND SHIRT
THAT FITS.

BRING THE HAIR DOWN IF YOU CAN.
TUCK IN THE SHIRT.

WHY DOESN'T ANYBODY
TUCK ANYTHING IN ANYMORE?

OH, I'M ASKING YOU.

OKAY, OKAY.

BENJAMIN...

WE MADE SOME PROGRESS.

VERY BIG DAY
FOR THE INTERN TEAM.

IT WAS GREAT.

I MEAN, SHE YELLED AT ME,
BUT --

SHE YELLS AT ME
ALL THE TIME, TOO.

RIGHT?
IT WAS COMMUNICATION.

-YEAH.
-IT WAS A BREAKTHROUGH.

YEAH.

WHOO!
OH, YOU WANT ONE TOO?

-YEAH.
-OKAY.

OKAY, BOYS. I'M POSSIBLY
MEETING JAY Z AND/OR BEYONC�,

AND I'M IN A BLOUSE.

WEAR IT, DUDE.
IT'S AN IMPROVEMENT.

NOT TRUE.

BIG ONE.

??

-I HATE EATING ALONE.
-SO DO I.

YOU KNOW, YOU DON'T ACTUALLY
HAVE TO KEEP DOING THAT.

OH, FORCE OF HABIT.

HERE YOU GO.

SWIPED THESE
FROM THE TECH FRIDGE.

OH, NICE GOING.

YOU WANT A SLICE?

SURE, THANKS.

CHEERS.

CHEERS.

I NOTICED
A COUPLE HOURS AGO,

YOU HAD A MEETING
WITH ANOTHER POSSIBLE CEO.

I SAW HIM ARRIVE.
HOW'D THAT GO?

IT WAS GOING WELL...

UNTIL HE CALLED US --

I BELIEVE THE TERM HE USED
WAS A "CHICK SITE."

AND I DIDN'T HEAR
ANYTHING HE SAID AFTER THAT.

APPARENTLY, SELLING CLOTHES
MAKES US A "CHICK SITE."

I MEAN, REALLY?

HOW IS THIS NOT LEGIT?

I COULDN'T AGREE MORE.
I FIND THAT SURPRISING.

REALLY?
SEXISM IN BUSINESS?

SO...

WHAT DID YOU DO FOR WORK, BEN,
BEFORE YOU RETIRED?

I WAS A V.P.
FOR DEX ONE.

PHONEBOOKS?

YEAH.
I WAS IN CHARGE OF PRINTING,

AND BEFORE THAT I RAN
SALES AND ADVERTISING.

BIG JOBS.

WASN'T THIS A FACTORY
THAT USED TO MAKE PHONEBOOKS?

NO. WHAT?

-YEAH.
-WHAT?

THIS IS
WHERE YOU WORKED?

FOR ALMOST 40 YEARS.

[ CHUCKLES LIGHTLY ]

YEAH.

FOR TWENTY-SOME YEARS
I SAT RIGHT BY THAT WINDOW.

THAT WAS MY OFFICE.

IT WAS
A FEW STEPS UP BACK THEN.

WE'D LOOK OUT
OVER THE WHOLE FACTORY.

OUR PRINTING PRESSES
WERE IN THAT CORNER.

THAT'S WHY THE FLOOR DIPS
BACK THERE.

NO WAY.

I KNOW EVERYTHING
ABOUT THIS BUILDING.

OR USED TO.

YOU KNOW THE SYCAMORES ON
THE OTHER SIDE OF THE BUILDING?

-YEAH.
-THE BIG ONES?

YEAH. THE BIG ONES.
I LOVE THEM.

YEAH. I REMEMBER
THE DAY THEY WERE PLANTED.

IS IT TOTALLY WEIRD
BEING BACK HERE?

WELL,
IT FEELS LIKE HOME.

IT'S...REMODELED, BUT...

HOME.

SO YOU'RE ON FACEBOOK,
HUH?

WELL, I'VE BEEN TRYING TO
FIGURE IT OUT.

I JOINED
ABOUT 10 MINUTES AGO.

[ CHUCKLES ]
WELL, BETTER LATE THAN NEVER.

YOU WANT SOME HELP?

I'D LOVE SOME, BUT, REALLY,
YOU'VE GOT BETTER THINGS TO DO.

NO,
I NEED A DIVERSION.

YOU HAVE
A PHOTO OF YOURSELF?

-NO. I NEED ONE?
-IF YOU WANT TO LOOK UP

ALL THOSE HOTTIES
FROM HIGH SCHOOL, YOU DO.

SAY CHEESE.

CHEESE.

[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]

[ LAUGHS ]

THAT'S CUTE.

OKAY,
I JUST NEED TO SEND THAT TO YOU.

UH, ALL RIGHT.

SO THERE ARE ALL THESE QUESTIONS
FOR YOUR PROFILE

THAT YOU CAN ANSWER
IF YOU WANT TO OR NOT.

LIKE RELIGIOUS VIEWS,
POLITICAL VIEWS...

PEOPLE WHO INSPIRE YOU...

JULES OSTIN.

I'M NOT TRYING TO
BROWNNOSE YOU,

BUT I'VE BEEN IN BUSINESS
A LONG TIME,

AND I'VE NEVER RUN ACROSS
ANYONE QUITE LIKE YOU.

YOU DO INSPIRE, JULES.

I JUST KNEW,
AT THE END OF THE DAY,

THAT A WOMAN
WITH A GLASS OF WINE

AND A LAPTOP
HAD REAL SHOPPING POTENTIAL.

AND IF YOU COULD ACTUALLY
PROMISE HER THINGS WOULD FIT...

SEE?
THAT'S WHAT I MEAN.

OKAY.

MM.
YOU HAVE A FAVORITE QUOTE?

I DO.

"YOU'RE NEVER WRONG
TO DO THE RIGHT THING."

-WHO SAID THAT, YOU?
-YEAH.

BUT I'M PRETTY SURE
MARK TWAIN SAID IT FIRST.

[ CHUCKLES ]

OKAY,
FAVORITE MUSIC?

UH, GEEZ. SAM COOKE,
ONE OF MY ALL-TIME FAVORITES.

LOVE MILES DAVIS,
BILLIE HOLIDAY.

OH,
SHE WAS GREAT, RIGHT?

I MEAN,
SHE COULD JUST, LIKE...

-TRANSPORT YOU.
-OH, YEAH.

OKAY, BOOKS?

LOVE CLANCY, LUDLUM.

CRAZY ABOUT
"HARRY POTTER."

-MATT LOVES "HARRY POTTER," TOO.
-OH, YEAH?

YEAH, LIKE, READ THEM ALL
THE WEEK THEY CAME OUT.

WOW. ME, TOO.

UM, OKAY, WHAT'S
YOUR RELATIONSHIP STATUS?

ARE YOU MARRIED?

SINGLE?

WIDOWER.

I'M SORRY.

I THINK WE SHOULD JUST
SAY SINGLE, THEN?

YEAH.

OKAY, DO YOU KNOW
WHAT YOU NEED NOW?

YOU NEED
SOMEONE TO FRIEND.

I'LL BE FRIENDS
WITH THE OTHER INTERNS.

THEY'LL SHOW ME HOW TO DO IT
IN THE MORNING.

WELL, YOU --
YOU CAN FRIEND ME.

OKAY, THANK YOU.

OKAY.

OKAY.
CONGRATULATIONS.

YOU ARE NOW OFFICIALLY PART
OF THE FACEBOOK GENERATION.

-GOOD DEAL.
-[ LAUGHS ]

-UM, YOU DONE?
-YES, THANK YOU.

OKAY.

WELL, I HAVE, UH,
ABOUT ANOTHER HOUR OF WORK.

YOU --
YOU OKAY WITH THAT?

OF COURSE.

THIS WAS GREAT, JULES.

YEAH.

IT WAS NICE TO HAVE AN ADULT
CONVERSATION WITH AN ADULT MAN,

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
LIKE, NOT ABOUT WORK.

NOT ABOUT...

I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.

[ BLUES MUSIC PLAYS ]

[ MUSIC ENDS ]

[ SNORING LOUDLY ]

OH, WE'RE HERE?

YEAH.

WAS I SNORING?

NO, NO, NO.
JUST SLEEPING.

SORRY.

[ SEAT BELT CLICKS ]

MY PARENTS
ARE SLEEP RESEARCHERS,

AND THEY'VE BEEN STUDYING
MY SLEEP MY WHOLE LIFE.

APPARENTLY,
I'M A CLASSIC NOISY SLEEPER.

FUN GETTING TO KNOW ME,
HUH?

-IT IS.
-[ CHUCKLES ]

I NEVER FALL ASLEEP IN THE CAR,
SO THAT WAS ACTUALLY AMAZING.

APOLOGIZE
FOR THE RACKET.

BARELY NOTICED.

I'LL PRETEND
I BELIEVE YOU.

[ SIGHS ]

I LOVE THIS HOUSE.

IT JUST
LOOKS HAPPY TO ME.

LIKE,
IF IT WAS IN A KID'S BOOK,

IT WOULD MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD WHEN
YOU TURNED THE PAGE AND SAW IT.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

I DO.

WELL...

SAYONARA.

SAYONARA.

I DIDN'T
HEAR YOU COME IN.

YOU KNOW...

I WAS THINKING...

WE NEED
SOME AWAKE TIME TOGETHER.

YEAH, THAT, TOO.

??

MORNING.

GOOD MORNING.
I'M DORIS.

THEY ASKED ME
TO DRIVE YOU TODAY.

ARE YOU
ALL SET BACK THERE?

YOU GOT
YOUR SEAT BELT FASTENED?

WHAT HAPPENED TO BEN?

[ SEAT BELT CLICKS ]

OH, SOMEBODY SAID
THAT HE GOT TRANSFERRED.

UM, YOU KNOW THE BEST WAY
TO GET BACK TO HEADQUARTERS?

[ HORN HONKS, TIRES SCREECH ]

-OH!
-OH, MY!

[ HORN HONKS ]

OH, WHAT--

-COME ON!
-HOLD YOUR HORSES, MANIAC!

[ CHUCKLES ]
WHICH WAY, HON?

-I'M ALL TURNED AROUND HERE.
-DORIS.

-DORIS! DORIS!
-WHAT? WHAT?!

YOU TOLD ME
TO TRANSFER HIM.

THAT WAS TWO DAYS AGO.
WHY DIDN'T YOU CHECK WITH ME?

FIRST OF ALL,
THAT WAS YESTERDAY.

WELL, WHERE IS HE?
DO YOU KNOW?

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]

THANK YOU.

YOU MUST THINK
I'M DEMENTED.

NOT THE WORD I WOULD USE,

BUT I WAS A LITTLE SURPRISED
WHEN I GOT THE CALL.

JULES, I APOLOGIZE
IF I OVERSTEPPED IN SOME WAY.

NO. NO, NO, NO.
NO, PLEASE DON'T APOLOGIZE.

YOU HAVE DONE
NOTHING WRONG.

LOOK, I HAVE A LOT GOING ON,
AND I'M A VERY PRIVATE PERSON.

AND AT FIRST, I DON'T KNOW,
I THOUGHT

MAYBE THIS WASN'T GONNA WORK,
BUT I WAS WRONG.

LET ME GET
ONE OF THOSE.

-NO, NO, NO.
-NO.

JULES, NO EXPLANATION NECESSARY.
PLEASE.

NO, ACTUALLY, ONE IS BECAUSE
I AM USUALLY BETTER THAN THIS.

[ SIGHS ]

THE TRUTH IS...

SOMETHING ABOUT YOU
MAKES ME FEEL CALM

OR MORE CENTERED OR SOMETHING,
AND I-I COULD USE THAT.

OBVIOUSLY.

I HOPE YOU'LL ACCEPT MY APOLOGY
AND COME BACK TO WORK FOR ME.

IF YOU WANT.

AND I'M NOT JUST SAYING THIS

BECAUSE
I SCREWED UP THIS MORNING.

BUT I WAS THINKING THAT

I'D LIKE TO BRING YOU UP TO
MY AREA, NEXT TO BECKY.

I KNOW YOU CAN HANDLE MORE WORK.
IF YOU'D LIKE MORE. I...

OH, GOD, I CAN'T TELL YOU
HOW MUCH I HATE

THAT I JUMPED THE GUN
AND I MADE YOU FEEL--

I'M COMING BACK.
I-I'M HAPPY TO COME BACK.

EXCELLENT.

CAN I GIVE YOU A LIFT
BACK TO THE OFFICE?

SURE, THANKS.
CAN I TAKE THIS?

NO.

[ SIGHS ]

ACTUALLY,
DO YOU MIND DRIVING?

I DON'T TECHNICALLY
HAVE A LICENSE.

SURE.

THIS IS --
THIS IS CRAZY, BEN.

TWO DESKS
ARE NOT GONNA FIT IN HERE.

NO, I PROMISE
I'LL STAY OUT OF YOUR WAY.

BUT IT'S IMPOSSIBLE BECAUSE
NOW I DON'T HAVE ROOM FOR --

-HI.
-HI.

THIS IS GOOD, RIGHT?

I LIKE THIS ARRANGEMENT.

UH, BECKY, I WANT YOU TO LET BEN
GIVE YOU A HAND, OKAY?

AND CC HIM
ON ALL MY E-MAILS?

DID WE GET
YESTERDAY'S NUMBERS?

UH, YES, WE DID.
I SAW THEM HERE...

-HERE YOU GO.
-THANKS.

AND I NEED TO GO OVER THE DATA
ON CUSTOMER PURCHASE PATTERNS.

LET BEN TAKE A LOOK
AT THAT, TOO.

ACTUALLY, LET BEN
TAKE A LOOK AT THAT FIRST.

OKAY.

DON'T WORRY, BECKY.
BACKUP'S GOOD.

PING ME
WHEN CAMERON GETS IN?

[ CRIES ]

[ CRYING ]

HEY.

BECKY?

I'VE BEEN HERE NINE MONTHS, BEN,
AND SHE'S NEVER ASKED ME

TO TAKE A LOOK AT ANYTHING
FOR HER EVER, OKAY?

I HEAR YOU.
THAT'S FRUSTRATING.

I MEAN, TOTALLY.
I GRADUATED FROM PENN.

I HAVE A BUSINESS DEGREE.

BUT I NEVER SEEM TO DO
ANYTHING RIGHT AROUND HERE.

AND YOU'RE LIKE 50 YEARS OLDER
THAN ME AND YOU'RE DEAF.

I HAPPEN TO THINK YOU DO
A LOT OF THINGS RIGHT.

YOU DO SO MUCH.

I KNOW.
I KNOW THAT.

-MM-HMM.
-BUT SHE DOESN'T.

I MEAN, I BUST MY ASS FOR HER
14 HOURS A DAY,

AND SHE NEVER NOTICES.

OH. OH, MY GOD.

I HATE
GIRLS WHO CRY AT WORK.

HOW 'BOUT IF YOU,
JUST AS AN EXPERIMENT,

TRY LETTING ME HELP YOU.

A LOT OF YOUR STRESS
IS GONNA BE LIFTED

ONCE YOU'RE OUT FROM UNDER
THIS MOUNTAIN OF WORRY.

AND MAYBE YOU SHOULD CONSIDER
LEAVING HERE AT A NORMAL HOUR

ONCE IN A WHILE.

SEE YOUR FRIENDS.
HAVE A LITTLE FUN.

MM-HMM. I CAN OFFER
MY ASSISTANCE IN THIS AREA.

I WOULD LOVE TO,
ACTUALLY.

I JUST DON'T WANT HER TO THINK
THAT I CAN'T DO MY JOB

AND I NEED AN INTERN
TO HELP ME.

OKAY, YOU'RE NOT GONNA
WANT TO HEAR THIS,

BUT I HEARD WOMEN WHO SLEEP
LESS THAN SEVEN HOURS A NIGHT

GAIN 38% MORE WEIGHT

THAN WOMEN WHO SLEEP
MORE THAN SEVEN HOURS A NIGHT.

WHAT?!

I LEAVE HERE AT 11:00.
I GET BACK AT 7:00.

I SLEEP LIKE FIVE HOURS A NIGHT,
AND NOW I'M GONNA GET FAT?

LET'S GET THROUGH THIS STUFF.
LET'S DO IT TOGETHER.

LET'S CLEAN-SLATE IT.

LET'S JUST DO IT.

-YES!
-VERY NICE, ST. LOUIS.

-AH, SUEDE JACKET IN D.C.
-I CANNOT BELIEVE HOW WELL
THAT SWEATER IS DOING.

-I'M SO HAPPY.

-BEAUTIFUL, MIAMI! THANK YOU.
-OH! LOOK AT CHICAGO!

SHE PUT THE SAME BOOTS IN HER
CART AS THE WOMAN FROM HOUSTON.

OKAY, LET'S SEE
WHAT SHE DOES AT CHECKOUT.

[ BEEPS ]

SHE'S NOT
BUYING THEM EITHER.

OKAY, MAYBE CHECK THE
DELIVERY COST ON THOSE BOOTS?

MM-HMM.

-KNOCK-KNOCK.
-HEY.

HI. I TOOK A LOOK
AT THE DATA PURCHASE PATTERNS.

UH, SHOULD I COME BACK?

NO, NO, COME ON IN.
THAT WAS FAST.

WELL,
I ENLISTED BECKY'S HELP.

IT SEEMS THE MOST EXPENSIVE
PLACE YOU'RE ADVERTISING

IS ACTUALLY BRINGING YOU
THE CUSTOMERS WHO ARE
SPENDING THE LEAST.

AND THE CHANNELS
YOU'RE LEAST INVESTING IN

ARE ADDING ENORMOUS VALUE
IN SEGMENTS THAT CURRENTLY
APPEAR TO HAVE LOW VALUE

BUT ACTUALLY HAVE
THE HIGHEST SPENDING POTENTIAL.

THAT'S WHAT I COULD TELL
SO FAR.

OH, BEN. CAN YOU, LIKE,
DEAL WITH THAT FOR ME?

MAYBE COME UP WITH
A BETTER PLAN?

I MEAN,
IF YOU HAVE THE TIME?

HAPPY TO.

THE MAN SPENT 40 YEARS
IN BUSINESS.

YEAH, NO, I GET IT.

AND, JULES, BECKY
WAS A HUGE HELP IN THIS.

YOU KNOW SHE HAS
A BUSINESS DEGREE FROM PENN?

I KNOW.

I MEAN, I FORGOT,
BUT I KNOW.

I'LL SAY SOMETHING
TO HER.

THAT WOULD BE VERY NICE.

HEY. HOW'S IT GOIN' UP HERE
IN FIRST-CLASS?

BUSY. I SEE
YOU FOUND AN APARTMENT.

NO.

MY TWO WEEKS ARE UP.

I'M MOVIN' IN
WITH MY COUSIN.

EXCELLENT.

IN PHILADELPHIA.

-DAVIS.
-WHAT?

I'LL GET THERE BY 11:00,
LEAVE AT 5:00.

IT'S COOL.
I CAN HANDLE IT.

YOU KNOW, I FEEL LIKE
EVERYBODY'S UNCLE AROUND HERE.

YEAH, WHY IS THAT?

BECAUSE
I'M GONNA SAVE YOUR ASS,

AND I'M GONNA PUT YOU UP
FOR A FEW WEEKS.

OBVIOUSLY.

BEN, THANK YOU.

MWAH!
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!

OKAY. OKAY.
EASY, FELLA.

Davis: I LIKE THAT YOU DO
THE THROW PILLOW THING.

I WAS MARRIED
FOR A VERY LONG TIME.

MM.

WHOA.
IS THIS YOUR CLOSET?

BUSY MAN ABOUT TOWN.

WHAT'S IN
ALL THESE DRAWERS?

BOXERS, T-SHIRTS,
POCKET SQUARES, HANDKERCHIEFS.

OKAY, WHAT'S THE DEAL
WITH THE HANDKERCHIEF?

THAT ONE
I JUST DON'T GET AT ALL.

OKAY. IT'S ESSENTIAL.

THAT YOUR GENERATION
DOESN'T KNOW THAT IS CRIMINAL.

THE BEST REASON TO CARRY
A HANDKERCHIEF IS TO LEND IT.

ASK JASON ABOUT THIS.

WOMEN CRY, DAVIS.

WE CARRY IT FOR THEM.

ONE OF THE LAST VESTIGES
OF THE CHIVALROUS GENT.

OH. WELL, THEN
IT'S DIFFERENT THAN A PO--

I KNOW YOU WANT TO HANG,
BUT I --

I HAVE TO GET SOME SLEEP, KID.
I'M POOPED.

GOOD NIGHT, BEN.

THANKS AGAIN.

WILL YOU WAKE ME IN THE MORNING
OR IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?

-MY PARENTS ALWAYS--
-TOO MUCH.

UNDERSTOOD. I'LL JUST
SET AN ALARM ON MY PHONE.

I HOPE I CAN HEAR IT.
I'M SUCH A DEEP SLEEPER.

OH, MY GOD.
I'LL WAKE YOU.

THANK YOU!

LOVE YOU!
NOT KIDDING!

I LOVE YOU, TOO.
NOW GO TO BED.

HERE'S SOME MORE BERRIES,
GUYS.

BEN, CAN YOU POUR ME
MORE SYRUP, PLEASE?

SURE CAN.

THERE YOU GO.

PERFECT.
GOOD JOB.

OH, THANKS.

OH, BOY. OKAY, SO, THIS REALLY
BIG CEO NAMED TOWNSEND,

THE ONE EVERYONE SAID WOULD
NEVER BE INTERESTED IN US

BECAUSE WE WEREN'T
BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM?

-YEAH?
-YEAH?

[ LAUGHTER ]

WE'RE LIKE
YOUR SISTER WIVES.

WELL, WE JUST FOUND OUT
HE'S BEYOND INTERESTED.

EXCITING.

YEAH.

MAYBE.

EVERYONE'S FLIPPING OUT
ABOUT IT,

BUT YOU KNOW
I'M STILL ON THE FENCE AT BEST.

ANYWAY,
THE ONLY THING IS,

I HAVE TO GO TO SAN FRANCISCO
TO MEET HIM.

-HE CAN'T COME HERE.
-WHEN DO YOU HAVE TO GO?

THE ONLY DAY HE CAN MEET
IS NEXT THURSDAY.

DO YOU WANT TO COME?

MAYBE
WE CAN STAY THE WEEKEND?

OH, THAT SOUNDS AWESOME.
UM...

OH, THURSDAY I CAN'T.

PAIGE IS SNACK LEADER
AT SCHOOL,

AND I'M SUPPOSED TO BE
IN THE CLASS WITH HER.

-IT'S KIND OF A BIG DEAL.
-RIGHT.

YEAH,
IT'S A REALLY BIG DEAL.

NO, I KNOW, SWEETIE.
I'M SORRY. I FORGOT.

UH,
MAYBE BEN COULD GO WITH YOU.

YEAH,
THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.

GUYS,
BEN HAS A LIFE.

UH, NOT REALLY.

NOT ONE THAT TAKES ME
TO SAN FRANCISCO.

IF YOU WANT THE COMPANY,
I'D LOVE TO GO.

REALLY?

DEFINITELY.

-GUESS WHAT, BEN?
-YES?

TODAY,
MY DAD'S GONNA BE ARIEL.

IT'S HIS TURN.

-OH, THAT'S GOOD, RIGHT?
-REALLY GOOD.

Matt: YOU GUYS THINK
FINDING A CEO IS A BIG DEAL?

HERE, THE BIG NEGOTIATION
IS WHO GETS TO BE ARIEL

WHEN WE'RE PLAYING
"LITTLE MERMAID."

AND FOR THE RECORD,
IT'S NEVER BEEN MY TURN.

-MNH-MNH.
-[ LAUGHS ]

SO THIS IS HUGE FOR ME.
I'M EXCITED.

I GET TO COMB MY HAIR
WITH A FORK...

[ CELLPHONE RINGS ]

...PLAY WITH GADGETS
AND GIZMOS APLENTY.

DADDY!

THIS IS JULES.

SO, GUYS, HOW LONG
TILL WE GET IT FIXED?

I MEAN, IF YOU CAN'T ZOOM IN,
YOU PROBABLY WON'T BUY.

CAMERON: Yeah, the first couple
hours are already down 23%.

-OH, BOY.
-OKAY.

-I WILL BE THERE IN LIKE...
-TWO MINUTES.

-...TWO MINUTES.
-We're on it.

BEN, DO YOU HAVE THE INFO
ON FRIENDS SHOPPING TOGETHER?

[ CELLPHONE RINGS ]

-YEAH.
-THANK YOU.

-THIS IS JULES.
-What's wrong?

OH, MOM, HI.

UM, I JUST FOUND OUT
THAT THE ZOOM LINK --

UM, THE BUTTON THAT YOU CLICK ON
TO ZOOM IN ON A PHOTO,

-ISN'T WORKING.
-That doesn't sound like
such a big deal.

WELL, ACTUALLY, IT IS.
UM...

IT'S WHAT PEOPLE USE TO GET
A CLOSER LOOK AT WHAT --

EVERYBODY ZOOMS IN.

I guess I don't go to your
website enough to know that.

[ SCOFFS ]

[ CELLPHONE RINGS ]

Oh, typing and ringing.

YEAH, SORRY.
OH, IT'S THE WAREHOUSE.

MOM, I'M SORRY.
CAN I CALL YOU BACK?

-No need.
-OKAY, LOVE YOU.

Yep.

WHO SAYS "YEP"
TO "I LOVE YOU"?

[ RINGING CONTINUES ]

HI, ALONZO.

ALONZO: Hi, Jules.

Not good news.

WHAT? OKAY.
LAY IT ON ME.

In a routine check
by the sanitation department,

they found one bedbug.

-NO.
-Unfortunately, yes.

We sent out 4,800 boxes
yesterday.

We have to get them all back,
shut down the warehouse...

-UGH.
-...spray for bedbugs,

then we can start shipping
again.

-NIGHTMARE.
-NIGHTMARE.

OKAY, HERE WE ARE.

OKAY,
LET ME JUST FINISH THIS E-MAIL.

[ GASPS ]

NO!

NO.

NO, NO, NO.

[ GASPS ]

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]

HEY, GUYS.
THANKS FOR COMING.

I KNOW THE ZOOM IS BROKEN,

AND I DON'T MEAN TO
PULL ANYONE OFF OF THAT,

BUT I NEED A FAVOR.

I ACCIDENTALLY SENT AN E-MAIL
TO THE WRONG PERSON,

AND SHE'S AT WORK
RIGHT NOW.

AND I KNOW SHE DOESN'T CHECK
HER PERSONAL E-MAIL

UNTIL SHE GETS HOME
AT 5:30.

SO I HAVE UNTIL THEN
TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO DELETE IT.

BECAUSE IF THIS PERSON SEES
THIS E-MAIL, IT'LL BE HORRIBLE.

AND ON TOP OF THAT,
SHE HAS A MINOR HEART CONDITION.

I THINK THIS COULD
POSSIBLY BE NOT GOOD FOR THAT.

SO I AM COUNTING ON
YOUR GOOD GRACES AND BRILLIANCE

TO FIGURE OUT
A WAY TO SAVE MY ASS.

TRUTHFULLY, JULES,
IT'S PRETTY IMPOSSIBLE

TO HACK INTO A SERVER.

Techie #2: AND YOU DON'T
KNOW HER PASSWORD?

NO IDEA.

JULES, I THINK THERE'S ONLY
ONE THING WE CAN DO.

WHAT? TELL ME.
I'M DYING.

ME AND THE BOYS TAKE OFF,

WE BREAK INTO YOUR MOM'S HOUSE,
AND WE STEAL HER COMPUTER.

BREAK INTO HER HOUSE
AND STEAL THE COMPUTER?

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

THAT'S FREAKING GENIUS.

Female GPS Voice:
YOU WILL REACH YOUR DESTINATION

IN 300 YARDS.

LITTLE DOES GPS LADY KNOW
SHE IS AN ACCOMPLICE TO A CRIME.

THE WOMAN HAS A HEART CONDITION.
THINK OF IT AS A GOOD DEED.

I NEVER THOUGHT YOU'D BE A BAD
INFLUENCE ON ME, WHITTAKER.

OH, RELAX, FELLAS. THIS IS
GONNA BE A PIECE OF CAKE.

THE KEY
IS UNDER A FLOWERPOT.

WE GO IN, WE DELETE,
WE DISAPPEAR.

SHE DOESN'T HAVE AN ALARM,
RIGHT?

NOPE.
SHE DOES NOT.

WHAT IF THERE'S, LIKE,
A PASSWORD ON THE E-MAIL? HMM?

THEN
WE TAKE THE COMPUTER.

JULES SAID SHE'D BUY HER
A NEW ONE, SO IT'S A WIN-WIN.

YOU WILL REACH YOUR DESTINATION
IN 100 YARDS.

THIS IS LIKE
AN "OCEANS" MOVIE.

BEN'S THE OLD GUY
WITH THE BIG GLASSES.

HIS NAME IS ELLIOTT GOULD.

YEAH, AND, JASON,
YOU'RE CLOONEY.

THANK YOU.

AND I'LL BE MATT DAMON
'CAUSE I'M KIND OF AN OUTSIDER.

YEAH, DEFINITELY.
WHO AM I?

UH, YOU ARE
BEN AFFLECK'S BROTHER.

WELL,
WHY AREN'T I BRAD PITT?

I THINK THAT'S KIND OF
SELF-EXPLANATORY.

[ FUNKY HEIST MUSIC PLAYS ]

-OKAY, CLOONEY.
-THANK YOU.

YOU'RE BEHIND THE WHEEL.

PARK ON THE STREET.

KEEP THE ENGINE RUNNING,
YOUR EYES OPEN.

DAMON, AFFLECK'S BROTHER,
YOU'RE WITH ME.

ALL RIGHT,
LET'S DO THIS.

REMEMBER,
THE KEY'S UNDER THE FLOWERPOT.

[ ALARM BEEPING ]

OH, NO.

OH, GREAT PLAN SO FAR.
OH, MY GOD.

-LEWIS, GET BECKY.
-IF WE DON'T KNOW THE CODE,

THIS IS GONNA TURN INTO AN ALARM
IN 60 SECONDS.

BECKY, PUT JULES ON.

SHE PUT ME ON HOLD.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT GIRL?

THIS IS SO NOT GOOD.
WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO, BEN?

-WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED--
-STOP EATING!

-UH-HUH!
-GO LOOK FOR THE COMPUTER!

RIGHT NOW!
GO! GO! GO!

NO! SEPARATELY!
SEPARATE--

BECKY: Ben.
Ben, you there?

BECKY, DON'T SCREW AROUND.
PUT JULES ON. IT'S AN EMERGENCY.

-She's in a meeting.
-INTERRUPT HER.

JULES: Ben, what's up?

JULES,
YOUR MOTHER HAS AN ALARM.

-No, she doesn't.
-YES, SHE DOES.

I'M IN HER KITCHEN. IT'S ABOUT
TO GO OFF. WHAT'S HER CODE?

I HAVE NO IDEA.
BEN, LISTEN TO ME.

I KNOW THIS WOMAN.

THAT IS A FAKE ALARM
THAT SHE BOUGHT

OFF OF SOME INFOMERCIAL
OR SOMETHING, OKAY?

IT'S NOT REAL.
IT'S NOT CONNECTED.

It's just to
scare off burglars.

SHE SAYS IT'S FAKE.
IT'S JUST TO SCARE OFF BURGLARS.

OH, WELL,
IT'S DOING A GOOD JOB.

LISTEN, MY PARENTS WOULD NEVER
PAY FOR AN ALARM, OKAY?

THEY'RE THE CHEAPEST PEOPLE
IN AMERICA.

OKAY, WELL, IT HASN'T
TURNED INTO AN ALARM YET.

-IT'S STILL BEEPING.
-THAT'S 'CAUSE IT'S A FAKE.

TRUST ME ON THIS ONE.
HAVE YOU FOUND THE COMPUTER?

IT'S NOT DOWN HERE.

??

LEWIS, GO IN THERE.
DAVIS, IN THERE.

-FOUND IT!
-GOT IT! WHAT?

WE FOUND TWO. WHICH ONE IS HERS?
THE WHITE ONE OR THE SILVER ONE?

THE WHITE ONE
OR THE SILVER ONE?

THE WHITE ONE OR THE SILVER ONE?
WHITE ONE OR THE SILVER ONE?

-YOUR MOM'S COMPUTER?
-YES.

IT'S WHITE.
I GOT IT FIXED FOR HER ONCE.

-I AM POSITIVE.
-THE WHITE ONE!

WHITE.

[ ALARM BLARING ]

OH, MY GOD.

I KNEW THERE WAS NO SUCH THING
AS A FAKE ALARM!

WE'RE GONNA GET ARRESTED!
I KNEW IT!

THAT'S IT! WE'RE DONE!

OUR FINGERPRINTS
ARE ALL OVER THIS PLACE!

BEN,
DO YOU SEE THE E-MAIL?

-NOT YET.
-DOUBLE-TIME IT, DUDE.

HERE, LET ME.

FOUND IT!

"WHY IS MY MOTHER
ALWAYS SUCH A RAGING BITCH?"

SUBJECT --
"SHE'S A TERRORIST."

Yes! Delete it!

GONE.

NOW FROM THE TRASH!

GOT IT.

[ SIREN WAILS ]

DAVIS,
WHERE'D YOU FIND THIS?

UNDER THE BED, RIGHT SIDE.

WHICH RIGHT SIDE?

RIGHT SIDE FACING THE BED!
OH, MY GOD! MY LIFE IS OVER!

I'M GONNA BE A FELON AND
I HAVE NOT COMMITTED A CRIME!

DAVIS.
DAVIS, PULL IT TOGETHER.

CAN'T YOU HEAR
HOW FAR AWAY THAT IS?

WE'VE GOT AT LEAST 30 SECONDS
UNTIL THEY'RE HERE.

[ Lisping ] HOW AM I GONNA
EXPLAIN THIS TO MY PARENTS?

OH, MY GOD.
MY LISP IS BACK!

-20 SECONDS.
-OH!

JUST RUN! RUN!

Jason:
[ Rapping ] ? GIVE IT AWAY NOW ?

? JUST GIVE IT AWAY ?

? YEAH, HERE WE GO NOW ?

? TELL ME WAT'CHU
REALLY WANT TO DO ?

? COME HERE, MA,
TALK WITH ME, TALK WITH ME ?

? LOOK LIKE YOU'RE REAL GOOD ?

? TALK AND YA REALLY
WANT TO WALK FOR ME ?

? THE WAY YOU REALLY
TRY TO PUT IT ON, DAWG ?

? DANCE LIKE YA NEVER DID
BEFORE FOR ME ?

? WANT TO BREAK YO' BACK,
GONNA BREAK YO' NECK ?

? AND THE WAY YOU TRY TO PUT IT
ON THE FLOOR FOR ME ?

? COME ON! COME ON! COME ON!
OH, YEAH ?

JASON!

OPEN THE DOOR!

? EVERY TIME
I COME THROUGH ?

? THIS MOTHERFREAKER
IS ALWAYS IN THE RIDE ?

JASON! OPEN THE DOOR!

OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!

WHOA!
WHOA, OKAY!

OKAY!

[ LOCK CLICKS ]

[ ENGINE TURNS OVER ]

[ SIREN APPROACHING ]

HOLD ON! I'M NOT IN!
I'M NOT IN! I'M NOT IN!

I'M IN.

? HERE SHE COMES ?

-CHEERS!
-CHEERS!

? WALKIN' DOWN THE STREET ?

YOU ARE A CRAZY SON OF A BITCH.
YOU KNOW THAT, RIGHT?

I DIDN'T, ACTUALLY.

I'M SURE MY BLOOD PRESSURE
WAS THROUGH THE ROOF.

BUT IT WAS WORTH IT.
GOOD TIMES!

[ LAUGHTER ]

GUYS, I CAN'T --

I LITERALLY CAN'T THANK YOU
ENOUGH FOR WHAT YOU JUST DID.

IT WAS SO ABOVE AND BEYOND
AND BRAVE AND LOYAL.

I AM INDEBTED TO YOU
FOREVER.

-NO, YOU'RE NOT.
-WELL, YOU'RE VERY WELCOME.

YOU KNOW...

TAKES A TEAM,
BUT IT'S DONE.

-ALL TAKEN CARE OF.
-OKAY.

I'M GONNA HAVE ANOTHER.
ANYBODY ELSE?

-I WOULD LOVE THAT.
-YEAH, LET'S DO THAT.

YEAH. BUT COULD I JUST GET
A HALF THIS TIME?

I'LL TAKE HIS HALF.

WE'LL ALL
HAVE DOUBLES.

N-No, it's okay. I can drink.
It's a thing about me.

NOW, WHAT ARE YOUR NAMES,
AGAIN?

I NEVER
WANT TO NOT KNOW YOU.

I'M JASON.

I'VE WORKED FOR YOU
FOR LIKE A YEAR.

I'VE DELIVERED THINGS
TO YOUR HOME.

I MET MATT
A BUNCH OF TIMES.

I'VE TIED YOUR DAUGHTER'S SHOE
BEFORE.

I -- I KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
I'M JUST TERRIBLE WITH NAMES.

IT'S ALL RIGHT.
IT'S JASON.

YOU'RE NEW, RIGHT?

YEAH.
I'M DAVIS.

I STARTED WORK
THE SAME DAY AS BEN.

WE'RE PRETTY MUCH BESTIES,
AND I'M HIS MENTEE.

OH.

HE GAVE ME THIS TIE,
FOR EXAMPLE.

IT WAS HIS.
IT'S VINTAGE.

-"VINTAGE."
-I LIKE IT.

I LIKE MEN IN TIES.

-AND, YOU'RE LEWIS.
-YES.

YEAH, I COULD HEAR A LITTLE BIT
OVER THE PHONE.

YOU WERE VERY COOL
UNDER PRESSURE.

WELL, IT WAS MY FIRST HEIST.
I TRIED TO BE CHILL.

THANKS FOR NOTICING.

SALUT.

-MM!
-WHOO!

BOYS, WHAT CAN I SAY...

I'M SORRY.

I DIDN'T MEAN
TO CALL YOU "BOYS."

NOBODY CALLS MEN
"MEN" ANYMORE.

HAVE YOU NOTICED?

WOMEN WENT FROM "GIRLS"
TO "WOMEN."

MEN WENT FROM "MEN"
TO "BOYS"?

THIS IS A PROBLEM
IN THE BIG PICTURE.

-DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
-YEAH.

I'M GONNA HAVE ANOTHER.

ANOTHER?
YOU SURE ABOUT THAT?

YEP. OKAY,
HERE'S MY THEORY ABOUT THIS.

WE ALL GREW UP DURING
THE "TAKE YOUR DAUGHTER
TO WORK DAY" THING, RIGHT?

MM-HMM.

SO WE WERE ALWAYS TOLD WE COULD
BE ANYTHING, DO ANYTHING.

AND I THINK GUYS GOT,
MAYBE NOT LEFT BEHIND,

BUT NOT QUITE AS NURTURED,
YOU KNOW?

I MEAN, LIKE, WE WERE THE
GENERATION OF "YOU GO, GIRL."

WE HAD OPRAH.

AND I WONDER SOMETIMES
HOW GUYS FIT IN, YOU KNOW?

THEY STILL SEEM TO BE
TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT.

THEY'RE STILL DRESSING
LIKE LITTLE BOYS.

THEY'RE STILL PLAYING
VIDEO GAMES.

WELL, THEY'VE GOTTEN GREAT.
SO...

I LOVE VIDEO GAMES.

OH, BOY.

HOW, IN ONE GENERATION,
HAVE MEN GONE FROM

GUYS LIKE JACK NICHOLSON
AND HARRISON FORD TO...

TAKE BEN, HERE.

A DYING BREED.
YOU KNOW?

LOOK AND LEARN, BOYS,

BECAUSE IF YOU ASK ME,
THIS IS WHAT COOL IS.

OH, THANKS, ACE. YOU'RE NOT
GONNA DRINK ANYMORE, RIGHT?

[ CHUCKLES ]
CALLING ME "ACE"?

THAT IS JUST SUPER COOL,
RIGHT?

-DEFINITELY.
-VERY COOL.

OKAY.
I AM OFFICIALLY A LITTLE DIZZY.

I APOLOGIZE FOR THE TIRADE.

I AM GONNA GO.

BUT I AM FOREVER IN YOUR DEBT,
GENTLEMEN.

ANOTHER WORD
WHICH IS NEVER USED ANYMORE.

LET'S BRING IT BACK,
SHALL WE?

-YES.
-BEN, I'LL BE UBERING HOME.

-THANKS AGAIN.
-WHOA! WHOA!

OKAY.

[ Slurring ]
I'M SO SORRY.

DON'T WORRY.

I'M FINE NOW.

[ RETCHES ]

OKAY.

IT'S OKAY, IT'S OKAY.

[ GROANS ]

OH, I HAVEN'T DONE THAT
SINCE COLLEGE.

THANK YOU.

OH, MAN.

VERY SORRY
YOU HAD TO SEE THAT.

HUMILIATING.

IT'S ALL GOOD.

YOU FEELING BETTER?

YEAH.

YEAH, I FORGOT YOU GOT TO EAT
BEFORE YOU DRINK.

I'M GOOD NOW.

THANK YOU.

I'M LEAVING
IN A MINUTE.

JUST WORKING ON MAKING THIS
THE WORST POSSIBLE DAY FOR YOU.

NO, NOT AT ALL.
YOU'VE HAD A STRESSFUL DAY.

HOW IS IT THAT YOU ALWAYS
MANAGE TO SAY THE RIGHT THING...

DO THE RIGHT THING,
BE THE RIGHT THING?

IT'S UNCANNY.

YOU --
YOU GET SOME REST.

I WILL.

THANKS FOR EVERYTHING.

OH, AND, UH...

SAYONARA.

ABSOLUTELY.

??

[ BIRDS CHIRPING ]

REALLY SO NICE OF YOU
TO DO THIS.

MOST WOMEN WOULD HAVE
JUST RESCHEDULED.

OH, NOT TO WORRY.
I UNDERSTAND.

IT WAS UNEXPECTED.

-THANK YOU.
-THANK YOU.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

-Hi.
-Oh. Come on in.

Oh, no, after you.
Go ahead.

Benji, you brought a date
to a funeral. Unreal.

We had plans.
Who knew this was gonna happen?

Well, how do you do?
I'm Miles.

Hello. Fiona.

I'm so sorry
for your loss.

Oh, thank you, dear.

Wowza!

??

I NEVER WENT TO
A SHIVA BEFORE.

THE LAUGHTER
WAS WONDERFUL.

I DON'T THINK
I'VE EVER EATEN MORE.

I'M NOT EVEN SURE HOW I LEFT
WITH A BOX OF COOKIES.

WELL,
YOU WERE A BIG HIT.

GIVING THE WIDOW THAT
BACK MASSAGE -- WINNING MOVE.

OH, YEAH.
SHE NEEDED IT.

I DEFINITELY THINK
IT'S A GOOD IDEA

TO TAKE ALL FIRST DATES
TO A FUNERAL.

YEAH. A REAL ICEBREAKER,
DON'T YOU THINK?

[ LAUGHS ]

I KNOW YOU'RE KIDDING
BUT, HONESTLY,

WHO NEEDS THE STRAIN
OF THE DINNER DATE?

AND THE "WHY AREN'T YOU
MARRIED?" CONVERSATION.

AT OUR AGE IT'S NOT EVEN
POSSIBLE TO CATCH UP.

WELL, I CAN DO ME
IN 10 SECONDS.

YOU READY?

YEP.

WIDOWER,
ONE SON, TWO GRANDKIDS.

SPENT MY LIFE
MANUFACTURING PHONEBOOKS,

WHICH NO LONGER
SERVE A PURPOSE.

[ CHUCKLES ]

I'M CURRENTLY WORKING
AS AN INTERN,

HAVING A BALL.

AND THE BEST NEWS IS, I HAVE
A CRUSH ON A GIRL I MET AT WORK.

I'M SORRY
YOU LOST YOUR WIFE.

OKAY.

DIVORCED.

THREE BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTERS.

ONE GRANDCHILD, A BOY,
ON THE WAY.

I WAS SICK
A FEW YEARS BACK.

I'M NOT ANYMORE.

I'M AN IN-HOUSE
E-COMMERCE MASSEUSE.

LOVE MY JOB.

AND I FINALLY MET A MAN I
ACTUALLY WANT TO HANG OUT WITH.

LUCKY ME.

[ LAUGHS ]

??

[ COUGHING ]

MORNING.

HEY, BUDDY.
YOU DON'T LOOK SO GREAT.

YEAH, I KNOW.

BUT BELIEVE ME,
I LOOK BETTER THAN I FEEL.

[ PAIGE CRYING ]

OH, DID YOU SEE THE YANKEES
LAST NIGHT?

-OH, THEY WERE ON FIRE.
-OH, MAN.

Jules: GOT TO GET SOMETHING
IN YOUR STOMACH.

HONEY, HONEY, HONEY.

JUST CAN YOU PLEASE TAKE
ONE BITE BEFORE SCHOOL?

PLEASE?
JUST ONE BITE?

HEY, WHAT'S WITH THE WATERWORKS,
LITTLE ONE?

I JUST TOLD HER THAT
THE SITTER'S GONNA HAVE TO

TAKE HER TO
MADDIE'S BIRTHDAY PARTY

BECAUSE
MATT'S FEELING SICK.

BUT I DON'T WANT TO GO
WITH THE SITTER.

BEN?

CAN YOU TAKE ME?

PLEASE?

OH, HONEY?

I'M SO SORRY, BUT BEN'S
GOT TO GO TO WORK TODAY.

[ CRYING ]

JULES. COME ON.
IT'LL TAKE AN HOUR.

LET ME TAKE HER.

Ben: I -- I CAN'T BELIEVE
WE'RE STILL GOING THROUGH THIS.

I'M GOING THE RIGHT WAY.
PLEASE HAVE A LITTLE TRUST.

BUT THE PARK
WHERE THE PARTY IS...

OH. SORRY, BEN.

ACTUALLY, THIS IS IT.

YOU'RE LIKE A CLONE.

OH, BOY.
THIS LOOKS LIKE A NICE PARTY.

YEAH, IT DOES.

SO WHICH ONE IS MADDIE?

THE ONE IN THE PINK.

OKAY.
THE ONE IN THE PINK.

YOU CAN GO SIT WITH
THE OTHER MOMS, OKAY?

OKAY. YOU WANT TO
GIVE MADDIE HER PRESENT?

YEAH.

OKAY.

HAVE FUN.

THE OTHER MOMS.

FREP-- FREPRINO
OR SOMETHING.

YEAH, I KNOW.
I DON'T KNOW ANY OF THEM.

HI. I'M BEN.

-HI. JANE.
-JANE.

-AND EMILY.
-HI, EMILY.

I'M HELPING MATT AND JULES OUT
TODAY.

OH, ARE YOU MATT'S DAD?

NO, NO.
I WORK FOR JULES.

OH.

THAT'S OKAY?

I'VE JUST HEARD SHE'S,
YOU KNOW, KIND OF TOUGH.

TOUGH? JULES? SURE.
SHE'S A TOTAL BADASS.

I GUESS THAT'S HOW SHE BECAME
AN INTERNET SENSATION.

MUST MAKE YOU GUYS PROUD,
HUH?

ONE OF YOUR OWN OUT THERE
EVERY DAY,

CRASHING THE GLASS CEILING
OF THE TECH WORLD.

SO, BRAVO, GOOD FOR HER.
RIGHT?

Y-YEAH.
NO, FOR SURE.

[ CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY ]

WHAT'S UP, KIDDO?

I DON'T FEEL GOOD.

YOU DON'T?
DO YOU WANT TO SIT ON MY LAP?

YOU KNOW, IF SHE'S SICK
SHE PROBABLY SHOULDN'T BE HERE.

TOUGH CROWD, PAIGEY.
YOU WANT TO HIT THE ROAD?

DOES THAT MEAN "LEAVE"?

'FRAID SO.

Paige: I SPY WITH MY LITTLE EYE
SOMETHING...BLUE!

Ben:
IS IT THE CAR NEXT TO US?

NO.

IS IT, UM,
THAT DOG LEASH?

NO.

UM, IS IT THE SKY?

YES! YOU GOT ONE.

YOUR TURN, BEN.

OKAY.

OH, I HAVE A GOOD ONE.

I SPY WITH MY LITTLE EYE
SOMETHING GREEN.

IS IT THAT TREE?

NOPE.

IS IT THAT FRONT DOOR?

WELL, IT'S KIND OF GREEN.

IS IT, BEN?

IS IT THAT FRONT DOOR?

YEAH, IT IS, HONEY.
GOOD GIRL.

[ HORN HONKS ]

??

[ CELLPHONE CHIMES ]

[ SNORING ]

THANKS SO MUCH, BEN.

HEY,
COME ON IN THE KITCHEN.

CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING
BEFORE YOU HIT THE ROAD?

WANT A CUP OF COFFEE
OR A BITE TO EAT?

UH, I'M GOOD, THANKS.

OKAY. HOW WAS SHE?
SHE GIVE YOU ANY TROUBLE?

SHE WAS PERFECT.

SHE WASN'T FEELING SO GREAT
AT THE PARTY, SO WE LEFT EARLY,

AND SHE JUST FELL ASLEEP IN THE
CAR, SO I LET HER GET A NAP IN.

SO NICE OF YOU.
THANK YOU.

[ CELLPHONE DINGS ]

SORRY.

YOU SEEM LIKE
YOU'RE FEELING MORE WITH IT.

OH, YEAH. YEAH.
UM...

I GUESS I JUST NEEDED
A LITTLE DOWNTIME.

YOU KNOW, OR MAYBE I WASN'T EVEN
THAT SICK, I DON'T KNOW.

HEY, BEN, I GOT SOMETHING
I WANTED TO ASK.

WHAT'S YOUR WHOLE TAKE
ON THE CEO THING?

I MEAN, YOU'RE MORE
ON THE INSIDE THAN I AM.

I KNOW JULES IS TRYING TO
DO RIGHT BY EVERYBODY --

THE INVESTORS.

THE COMPANY.

YOU.

SHE'S GOT A LOT
ON HER SHOULDERS.

THE PRESSURE
IS UNBELIEVABLE.

AM I WRONG
THAT I WANT IT TO HAPPEN?

I MEAN,
I-I WANT WHAT SHE WANTS,

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE
AROUND HERE.

WE DON'T SEE HER ENOUGH,
AND MAYBE THIS CAN FIX THAT.

A CEO's GONNA FIX
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE, MATT?

WHATEVER SHE DECIDES, I JUST --
I WANT IT TO BE GOOD FOR HER.

I WANT HER TO BE HAPPY.

OF COURSE.

SHE DESERVES THAT.

YEAH,
SHE DOES DESERVE IT.

HI, AMY.

BENJAMIN,
WHAT DO YOU THINK?

FOUND IT ON eBay.

YOU WERE RIGHT.
TOTAL CLASSIC.

IT'S AWESOME, KID.

? AND MANY MORE ?

[ LAUGHTER, CHEERING ]

SO, HOW DID IT GO?

OH. WELL, YOU HAVE A GREAT KID,
JULES.

SHE'S ADORABLE.

OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR DOING THAT.

SO, YOU EXCITED ABOUT OUR TRIP
TO SAN FRANCISCO TOMORROW?

-ARE YOU OKAY?
-YEAH.

OH, I HOPE YOU DON'T HAVE
WHAT MATT HAS.

I DON'T.

YOU SURE?

POSITIVE.

WHAT'S THAT?

BLOOD PRESSURE.

I TAKE IT EVERY DAY.

ARE YOU SURE
YOU'RE OKAY?

YEAH.

YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE YOU.
YOU'RE ALL FLUSHED.

WHY DON'T YOU GO SEE FIONA,
THE MASSEUSE,

AND JUST CHILL A LITTLE.

WHAT'S UP?

WHOA, BEN, YOU OKAY?

YOU SEEM TO BE
SLIGHTLY MALFUNCTIONING.

BECKY.
DOES HE LOOK RIGHT TO YOU?

OKAY. THANK YOU.

I THINK WE'RE GOOD HERE.

GOT A LOT OF WORK TO DO.

IT'S ALL GOOD.

IS IT HIS COLORING?

OH, MY GOD,
YOU'RE ALL NUTS.

I'M 100%.
LET'S MOVE ON, KIDS.

BIG DAY. LOTS TO DO.

OKAY. BEN...

IF I AM GIVING YOU TOO MUCH TO
DO OR WORKING YOU TOO HARD,

PLEASE DO NOT FEEL THAT YOU HAVE
TO GO WITH ME TO SAN FRANCISCO.

JULES, PEOPLE MY AGE
GET TIRED SOMETIMES.

THAT'S ALL THIS IS.

YOU'RE TIRED?

THAT'S WHY YOU HAVEN'T LOOKED AT
ME ONCE SINCE I CAME OVER HERE?

I'M LOOKING AT YOU.

JULES.
CAMERON'S ON THE PHONE.

OKAY.

LIKE, IF YOU DON'T FEEL BETTER
TONIGHT OR LATE--

I'M JUST SAYING
I CAN GO BY MYSELF, OKAY?

I'M A BIG GIRL.
I'LL BE FINE.

OKAY, SERIOUSLY?

BEN, WHAT IS IT?

YOU KNOW,
I'M A SENSITIVE MAN.

PEOPLE DON'T
THINK THAT ABOUT ME.

I DON'T LOOK IT,
BUT I AM.

UNDER ALL THIS MAN STUFF
THAT YOU SO ADMIRE...

MM-HMM.

...I'M JUST
A BIG BOWL OF MUSH.

I KNOW THAT.

OKAY.

THAT'S IT?

THAT'S WHAT
24 HOURS OF CRAZY COMES TO?

THAT YOU'RE
A SENSITIVE BOWL OF MUSH?

JULES.

BEN.

JULES,
WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE?

WE GOT THE DAY OFF.
WE'RE TRAVELING IN FIRST-CLASS.

LET'S AT LEAST
HAVE A LITTLE FUN.

NOW, THAT, I CAN DO.

[ LAUGHS ]

[ SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ]

??

[ WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY ]

[ LAUGHS,
SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ]

[ LAUGHS,
SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ]

??

Woman: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
AS WE START OUR DESCENT,

PLEASE MAKE SURE YOUR SEAT
BACKS AND TRAY TABLES

ARE IN THEIR FULL,
UPRIGHT POSITIONS

AND ALL CARRYON LUGGAGE
IS STOWED

UNDER THE SEAT
IN FRONT OF YOU.

YOU OKAY?

YEAH.

JUST THINKING,
TOMORROW I MEET THE GUY

WHO MAY BECOME
MY BOSS, KIND OF.

I MEAN A LOT OF PEOPLE
HAVE BOSSES, RIGHT?

-MOST PEOPLE HAVE BOSSES.
-JULES, IT'S SIMPLE.

IF YOU THINK TOWNSEND
IS GONNA BE GOOD FOR YOU

AND GOOD FOR THE COMPANY,
THEN DO IT.

AND IF NOT...

EXACTLY.

JUST BECAUSE
I CAME ALL WAY HERE...

RIGHT.
DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING.

I AGREE.

DO YOU THINK
I CAN TAKE A XANAX

IF I HAD TWO GLASSES OF WINE
AN HOUR AGO?

WELL, I'D WAIT
ANOTHER COUPLE HOURS.

IT'S A THING I DO BEFORE I LAND.
WE'RE GOOD NOW.

??

[ FIRE ALARM BLARING ]

[ CELLPHONE RINGS ]

-Jules?
-YEAH.

-You hear that?
-UH-HUH. I HEAR IT. I'M UP.

[ SIREN WAILS ]

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]

ARE YOU OKAY?

THIS ALARM GOING OFF

IS NOT A GOOD OMEN
ABOUT THIS GUY.

-IT'S A SIGN, BEN.
-OH, I'M PRETTY SURE IT'S NOT.

SO YOU HAVEN'T
TAKEN A XANAX, YET?

YOU TOLD ME
TO WAIT A FEW HOURS.

YOU TRAVEL
WITH YOUR OWN ROBE?

YEAH.

Hotel Manager:
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

A SMOKE ALARM WENT OFF
IN ONE OF THE ROOMS,

BUT THE PROBLEM
HAS BEEN TAKEN CARE OF.

OUR SINCEREST APOLOGIES.

OH, YEAH.
100 PEOPLE, 2 ELEVATORS.

DEFINITELY A SIGN.

[ SIGHS ]

WELL,
THANKS FOR ESCORTING ME BACK.

MM-HMM.

[ BEEPS ]

YOU WANT TO SEE MY ROOM?

OH, NICE.

I MEAN,
DO YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO COME IN?

I HAVE A TEA KETTLE.
WE COULD HAVE TEA OR...

[ SIGHS ]

I'M RIDICULOUSLY NERVOUS
ABOUT TOMORROW.

YOU CAN LIE DOWN.

I KNOW YOU'RE TIRED.
I'LL SIT IN THE CHAIR.

HERE YOU GO.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA
SIT IN A CHAIR?

PLEASE LET ME BE HERE.
I NEED TO LIE DOWN, TOO.

WE DON'T HAVE TO TALK ABOUT WORK
OR ANYTHING.

ALL RIGHT.
WHAT SHOULD WE TALK ABOUT?

MARRIAGE?

WILL YOU TELL ME
ABOUT YOUR WIFE?

SHE WAS GREAT, RIGHT?

SHE WAS.

MOLLY WAS HER NAME.

SHE WAS
A MIDDLE-SCHOOL PRINCIPAL.

BELOVED.

SO PERFECT.

LONG MARRIAGE?

NOT LONG ENOUGH.

42 YEARS.

WOW.
WHAT WAS THAT LIKE?

YOU KNOW WHEN PEOPLE SAY
THEY WANT TO GROW OLD TOGETHER?

-MM-HMM.
-WELL, WE DID THAT.

WE MET WHEN WE WERE 20.

WELL, I WAS 20.
SHE WAS 19.

AND WHAT WAS AMAZING
IS SHE NEVER REALLY CHANGED.

THAT'S A HARD THING
TO PULL OFF.

SHE HANDLED LIFE
LIKE IT WAS EASY.

ALWAYS.

EVEN WHEN IT WASN'T.

GOD, I ENVY THAT.

ARE YOU HUNGRY?

WE HAVE, UM...

GUMMY BEARS, CHOCOLATE CHIPS,
PRINGLES.

YUP.

I'M JUST GONNA BRING
THE WHOLE THING.

YOU KNOW THOSE ARE
LIKE 15 BUCKS EACH?

BENJAMIN, I RUN A VERY BIG
INTERNET COMPANY.

LET'S GO CRAZY.

OKAY.

SO...

[ CRUNCHES ] SO...

[ CLEARS THROAT ]
YEAH, SO...

I GOT A WEIRD ONE
FOR YOU.

MATT IS CHEATING ON ME.

WAIT A MINUTE.
YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS?

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

WAIT,
YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS?

I SAW THEM TOGETHER.

OH, MY GOD. WHEN?

YESTERDAY.

I'M -- I'M SORRY.

I MEAN, IT WAS AN ACCIDENT
THAT I SAW THEM, BUT I DID.

YESTERDAY.

THEN IT IS
STILL GOING ON.

HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN?

FOR LIKE 18 DAYS.

SHE'S A MOM
AT PAIGE'S SCHOOL.

IT'S STILL SO HARD
FOR ME TO GRASP.

I-I WAS IN THE KITCHEN
MAKING SANDWICHES,

AND HIS PHONE WAS THERE.

HE WAS UPSTAIRS
WITH PAIGE,

AND H-HE WAS GETTING
ALL THESE TEXT MESSAGES.

AND I DON'T KNOW WHY,
BUT I READ THEM.

IT WAS NOT GOOD.

DOES HE KNOW YOU KNOW?

NO.

'CAUSE, HONESTLY, I'M --
I'M NOT READY...

TO DEAL WITH IT.

I WOULD LIKE TO BE
A LITTLE LESS DEVASTATED,

IF THAT IS POSSIBLE.

IT'S CLASSIC, THOUGH,
ISN'T IT?

THE SUCCESSFUL WIFE.

THE HUSBAND FEELS LIKE
HIS MANHOOD IS THREATENED,

SO HE ACTS OUT.

GIRLFRIEND, I GUESS,
MAKES HIM FEEL MORE LIKE A MAN.

SOMETIMES I'M NOT SURE
I KNOW HOW TO DO THAT.

HOLD ON, HOLD ON, HOLD ON.
WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE.

YOU'RE NOT ACTUALLY TAKING THE
RAP FOR ANY OF THIS, ARE YOU?

NO! NO, NO.

HE IS THE ONE
DOING SOMETHING WRONG.

I GET THAT.

MONOGAM-ISH
IS NOT WHAT I'M AFTER.

I-I'M JUST --
I'M TAKING A SEC...

AND I'M HOPING THAT IT'S JUST
A HORRIBLE LAPSE IN JUDGMENT

AND NOT, LIKE, LOVE.

AND ONCE
HE MOVES THROUGH THIS,

WE WILL EVENTUALLY
BE ABLE TO BE OKAY AGAIN.

WHAT DO YOU THINK
ABOUT THAT?

CLEARLY YOU DON'T THINK
THAT'S A POSSIBLE THING.

-IT -- IT WOULD BE UNUSUAL.
-I GET THAT.

I GET NOT EVERYBODY
COULD DO THAT, BUT...

EVERYBODY'S NOT US.

I HAVE FAITH IN US
BECAUSE...

I BELIEVE
HE STILL LOVES ME.

AND, YOU KNOW, WE'VE BEEN
GOING THROUGH SO MUCH THAT...

GOD, I WISH YOUR EXPRESSIONS
WEREN'T SO TRANSPARENT.

SOME COUPLES DO SURVIVE
THESE THINGS, YOU KNOW.

I GOOGLED IT -- "STAYING
TOGETHER AFTER THE AFFAIR."

AND A LOT OF COUPLES,
I MEAN, A LOT STAY TOGETHER.

AND ANYWAY,
THERE IS SOMETHING TO BE SAID

ABOUT MOVING THROUGH IT

AND FOCUSING ON US
AND NOT ON THE AFFAIR.

I DON'T WANT TO
GIVE UP ON HIM.

I KNOW HIM,
AND I KNOW HE KNOWS BETTER.

BUT I AM ONLY HUMAN,

AND I AM SO MAD AT HIM.

YOU KNOW, SO MUCH
HAS HAPPENED TO US SO FAST.

I THINK...
[ SIGHS ]

PART OF ME
WAS EVEN EXPECTING THIS.

LIKE, YOU KNOW, HE WAS
THE MORE SUCCESSFUL ONE

-WHEN WE STARTED OUT.
-NO, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.

YEAH, HE WAS.
HE WAS A RISING STAR.

AND HE BOWED OUT
SO THAT I COULD DO THIS.

HE WAS AMAZING.

IT WAS ALL HIS IDEA.

I'M SURE THAT'S WHY
I'M EVEN CONSIDERING

THIS WHOLE CEO THING,

THINKING MAYBE
SOMEONE ELSE COMING IN

WILL HELP ME
GET MY LIFE BACK ON TRACK.

OKAY, THAT --
THAT'S IT.

I HATE TO BE THE FEMINIST HERE,
BETWEEN THE TWO OF US,

BUT YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO HAVE
A HUGE CAREER AND BE WHO YOU ARE

WITHOUT HAVING TO ACCEPT THAT
YOUR HUSBAND IS HAVING AN AFFAIR

AS SOME KIND OF PAYBACK.

RIGHT ON.

I MEAN IT.

ME, TOO.

BUT SUCH IS LIFE,
MY FRIEND.

NO, IT ISN'T.
NOT ALWAYS.

AND I'M NOT SO SURE
I'D BE SO FORGIVING.

I AM NOT SO FORGIVING.

I'M SAYING THAT I COULD
POTENTIALLY BE FORGIVING.

BUT DON'T THINK THAT I
DON'T FEEL WHAT'S GOING ON HERE.

IT'S CRUSHING.

AND WHEN
I THINK OF PAIGE...

OH, DON'T.

ALSO, IF WE GOT DIVORCED,
HE'D REMARRY.

MAYBE NOT TO THIS GIRL,
BUT SOMEONE.

AND WE BOTH KNOW
I'M NOT EASY.

SO I COULD BE, LIKE, SINGLE
FOREVER, WHICH MEANS THAT...

FORGIVE ME, BUT THIS DOES

KEEP ME UP
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.

OH.

WHAT?

THAT I DON'T WANT TO
BE BURIED ALONE.

PAIGE'LL BE
WITH HER HUSBAND,

AND MATT'LL BE
WITH HIS NEW FAMILY,

AND I WILL BE
BURIED WITH STRANGERS.

I WILL BURIED IN THE STRANGERS
SINGLES SECTION OF THE CEMETERY.

NOT THAT THAT IS A REASON
TO STAY TOGETHER.

BUT IT'S JUST, YOU KNOW,
A SCARY SIDEBAR.

LET'S TAKE THAT ONE
OFF YOUR PLATE RIGHT NOW.

YOU CAN BE BURIED WITH
ME AND MOLLY.

I HAPPEN TO HAVE SPACE,
OKAY?

OH.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.
THAT IS...

AND TO THINK
I DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO HIRE YOU.

THE ONE TIME
I DON'T HAVE MY HANKY.

[ LAUGHS, SNIFFLES ]

YOU WANT TO...

WATCH TV?

JUST FOR
A FEW MINUTES?

YEAH, SURE, I WOULD.

[ TELEVISION REMOTE CLICKING ]

Woman: EVEN THOUGH
THE PLANNED MERGER HAS...

[ LAUGHTER ]

? ....WERE MEANT FOR ME ?

? AND I WAS MEANT
FOR YOU ?

? NATURE PATTERNED YOU ?

? AND WHEN SHE WAS DONE ?

? YOU WERE
ALL THE SWEET THINGS ?

? ROLLED UP IN ONE ?

? YOU'RE LIKE ?

? A PLAINTIVE MELODY ?

? THAT NEVER LETS ME FREE ?

? BUT I'M CONTENT ?

? THE ANGELS
MUST HAVE SENT YOU ?

? AND THEY MEANT YOU ?

? JUST FOR ME ?

??

AIRPORT, PLEASE.

SO, DID WE LIKE HIM?

HE SAID
ALL THE RIGHT THINGS.

HE SAID THAT NO ONE KNOWS
ABOUT THE FIT LIKE ME.

THAT HE DOESN'T WANT TO REMOVE
THE SOUL OF THE COMPANY.

HE SAID THAT
HE DOESN'T HAVE A PLAN.

HE WANTS TO WATCH US
AND SEE WHAT WORKS.

HE WAS POLITE AND RESPECTFUL
AND SUPER SMART.

AND I HIRED HIM.

SERIOUSLY?

YEAH.

YOU DID IT
RIGHT IN THE ROOM?

HE TOLD ME TO SLEEP ON IT
AND THAT WE'D TALK TOMORROW,

BUT I SAID
THE JOB WAS HIS.

WE SHOOK HANDS ON IT.

YOU KNOW IF, UH, WE DISAGREE,
HE'S THE TIEBREAKER?

OF COURSE.
HE'S THE CEO.

YEAH. DUH.

[ WINDOW MOTOR WHIRRING ]

HI.

HEY!

YOU SMELL MINTY.

I JUST MADE MINT TEA.

SO...

YES? NO?

I DID IT.

I LIKED HIM.
A LOT.

AND, UH...
I OFFERED HIM THE JOB.

WOW. REALLY?

YEAH.

AND YOU'RE OKAY
WITH IT?

YEAH.

I THINK
IT'LL BE GOOD FOR US.

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

DO WE HAVE ANY, LIKE, REAL
BOOZE, LIKE VODKA OR SOMETHING?

YEAH.

DID "GOOD FOR US"
MEAN...

ABOUT THE FIT...

OR US?

YOU-AND-ME US.

I FIGURE IF SOMEONE ELSE CAN
CALL SOME OF THE SHOTS AT WORK,

THEN MAYBE...

WE CAN GET BACK TO
WHERE WE WERE 18 MONTHS AGO.

THEY SAY YOU CAN'T PUT THE GENIE
BACK IN THE BOTTLE,

BUT WE CAN TRY, RIGHT?

??

[ SIGHS ]

[ CAR DOOR CLOSES ]

HEY!

HI.

WAIT, YOU LIVE HERE?

YEAH, BEN'S BEEN PUTTING ME UP
UNTIL I CAN FIND A PLACE.

OH, SHOULD I LET HIM KNOW
THAT YOU'RE HERE?

THAT'S OKAY.
I'LL RING.

OKAY.

[ DOORBELL RINGS ]

FIONA?!

JULES!

COME ON IN.

I'M JUST ON MY WAY
TO WORK.

BEN'S RIGHT IN HERE.

I'LL LET YOU TWO TALK.

-SEE YOU.
-MM-HMM.

HI.

WOW.

YOU AND FIONA, HUH?
WHO KNEW.

SHE'S A GREAT GAL.

SHE SURPRISED ME LAST NIGHT.
SHE BROUGHT OVER DINNER.

IT'S BRAND-NEW.

CONGRATULATIONS.
I LOVE HER.

YEAH.

[ BREATHES DEEPLY ]

SO, I WAS READY KIND OF EARLY
THIS MORNING, SINCE ABOUT 4:00,

AND MATT AND PAIGE LEFT AN HOUR
AGO FOR A FIELD TRIP

SO I THOUGHT I'D COME BY.
I HOPE THAT'S OKAY.

YEAH.

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

I JUST WANTED TO SAY...

I SLEPT ON IT.

I HAVEN'T CALLED TOWNSEND
YET, BUT...

I STILL FEEL LIKE
IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO.

WELL...

I DIDN'T
SLEEP SO WELL MYSELF.

OVER THIS?

YOU REMEMBER THE DAY
I DROVE YOU TO THE WAREHOUSE?

YOU WERE GIVING ME THE
WRONG DIRECTIONS AND ALL THAT?

YEAH. I REMEMBER.

OKAY, WELL,
I STOOD IN THE BACK,

AND I WATCHED YOU
SHOW THE WORKERS

HOW TO FOLD
AND BOX THE CLOTHES.

I KNEW THEN
THAT WAS WHY ATF WAS A SUCCESS.

NO ONE ELSE
IS EVER GONNA HAVE

THAT KIND OF COMMITMENT
TO YOUR COMPANY, JULES.

TO ME,
IT'S PRETTY SIMPLE.

ABOUT THE FIT NEEDS YOU,
AND IF YOU DON'T MIND ME SAYING,

YOU NEED IT.

SOMEONE MAY COME IN
WITH MORE EXPERIENCE THAN YOU,

BUT THEY'RE NEVER GONNA KNOW
WHAT YOU KNOW.

I NEVER HAD ANYTHING LIKE THIS
IN MY LIFE.

NOT MANY PEOPLE DO.

THIS BIG, BEAUTIFUL,
EXCITING THING THAT YOU CREATED.

IT'S A DREAM,
ISN'T IT?

AND YOU'RE GONNA
GIVE THAT UP

IN THE HOPES THAT YOUR HUSBAND
WILL STOP HAVING AN AFFAIR?

I DON'T SEE
HOW THAT ADDS UP.

YOU SHOULD FEEL NOTHING BUT
GREAT ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE DONE.

AND I'D HATE TO SEE YOU LET
ANYONE TAKE THAT AWAY FROM YOU.

I GUESS
YOU CAME OVER HERE

BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO HEAR
SOME OF THIS.

YES.

AND MAYBE ALSO
BECAUSE YOU'RE MY...

INTERN.

WELL, I WAS GONNA SAY
INTERN/BEST FRIEND.

BUT THERE'S NO NEED TO GET
ALL SENTIMENTAL ABOUT IT

EVEN THOUGH WE COULD POTENTIALLY
BE BURIED TOGETHER.

CAN'T GET CLOSER
THAN THAT.

[ LAUGHS ]

IT'S MOMENTS LIKE THIS
WHEN YOU NEED

SOMEONE YOU KNOW
YOU CAN COUNT ON.

SO THANK YOU.

I LIKE YOUR HOUSE
SO MUCH BY THE WAY.

THANKS.

SO?

SHALL WE?

OKAY.

WELCOME BACK,
YOU TWO.

JULES, I HAVE SOMETHING COOL
TO SHOW YOU.

DO YOU REMEMBER TAKING
A CUSTOMER-SERVICE CALL

ABOUT A BRIDE WHOSE BRIDESMAIDS'
DRESSES SHOWED UP IN GRAY,

AND WE HAD THE VENDOR
REMAKE THEM OVERNIGHT

AND PUT THEM ON A PLANE?

YEAH. YEAH.
RACHEL.

CHECK THIS OUT.

[ GASPS ]

THE SILK CHIFFON
ANTOINETTE DRESS.

THEY LOOK BEAUTIFUL.

OH, AND THESE JUST ARRIVED
FROM MARK TOWNSEND.

-HERE.
-THANKS.

BECKY? GIVE ME TOWNSEND'S
NUMBER, WILL YOU?

Becky: OKAY.

[ CELLPHONE RINGS ]

THIS IS JULES.

HEY, ALONZO, WHAT'S UP?

UH-HUH. OKAY.

DO WE NEED THAT MANY?

Matt:
I HOPE I'M NOT TOO LATE.

DON'T DO THIS FOR ME,
JULES.

PLEASE?

JUST DO WHAT FEELS RIGHT
FOR YOU.

OH, MY GOD.

I WANT TO CONTINUE RUNNING
MY COMPANY, MATT.

YOU GOT TO KNOW THAT.

THEN DO IT.
I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE UNHAPPY.

I'M ALREADY UNHAPPY.

I NEED TO
TELL YOU SOMETHING.

I KNOW.

JUST TELL ME,
IS IT ALMOST OVER?

I DON'T KNOW
HOW MUCH LONGER I CAN --

IT'S OVER.

I CAN'T TELL YOU
HOW S-SORRY AND ASHAMED I AM.

I THOUGHT
I COULD DO IT.

I THOUGHT I COULD BE
THE GUY THAT I TOLD YOU

I WAS GOING TO BE.

AND THEN
SOMEWHERE ALONG THE WAY...

...I THOUGHT
I WAS LOSING YOU.

BUT IT WAS ACTUALLY ME.

I GOT LOST.

IT'S A CONFUSING WORLD
OUT THERE,

AND WHO I AM
GOT MESSED UP FOR A MINUTE.

AND NOW I'M WATCHING YOU READY
TO GIVE ALL THIS UP FOR ME.

I WILL NOT
LET THAT HAPPEN.

I LOVE YOU, AND I WILL DO SO
MUCH BETTER IF YOU'LL LET ME.

??

PLEASE, JULES.

LET ME
MAKE IT RIGHT AGAIN.

YOU KNOW
WHAT WOULD BE GOOD?

IF YOU CARRIED
A HANDKERCHIEF.

HAVE YOU
CALLED TOWNSEND YET?

BECAUSE IF I'VE EVER MET ANYONE
WHO DOESN'T NEED A BOSS,

IT WAS YOU.

I WAS JUST ABOUT TO CALL HIM
AND TELL HIM I CHANGED MY MIND.

I MEAN,
WE'RE GOOD HERE.

WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT.

I'M GONNA MAKE SURE
WE MAKE IT.

GOOD.

??

BECKY.

WHERE'S BEN?

I'M NOT SURE. HE SAID
HE WAS TAKING THE DAY OFF.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

Fiona.

Do you know
where Ben is?

??

I'M SO SORRY
TO INTERRUPT.

THAT'S OKAY.

EXTEND YOUR LEFT ARM,
JULES.

LEFT KNEE UP...

BREATHE AND RELAX
FOR INNER BALANCE.

-AM I DOING IT RIGHT?
-ALMOST.

GOT SOMETHING GOOD
TO TELL YOU.

GREAT.
TELL ME WHEN WE'RE DONE.

BREATHE DEEPLY, JULES.

THAT'S IT, OUT THERE.

THIS UP.

??