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(clock ticking)
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(lights clank)
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(microphone feedback
squeals softly)
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(switches clicking)
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Tonight's program
takes us backstage
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to witness firsthand
the creation, start to finish,
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00:01:21,348 --> 00:01:25,185
of a new play mounted
on the American stage.
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Asteroid City does not exist.
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It is an imaginary drama
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00:01:30,290 --> 00:01:33,226
created expressly
for this broadcast.
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The characters are fictional,
the text hypothetical,
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00:01:37,230 --> 00:01:39,601
the events
an apocryphal fabrication,
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00:01:39,634 --> 00:01:42,637
but together they present
an authentic account
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00:01:42,670 --> 00:01:46,473
of the inner workings of
a modern theatrical production.
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Our story begins, of course,
with an ink ribbon.
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Conrad Earp, playwright,
native of upper Wyoming,
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00:01:54,515 --> 00:01:57,552
well-known for
his romantic poetic tapestries
18
00:01:57,585 --> 00:02:00,487
of life west
of the Rocky Mountains.
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00:02:00,521 --> 00:02:02,590
♪ ♪
20
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There is little amusement
to be had, however,
21
00:02:07,795 --> 00:02:09,631
in watching a man type.
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00:02:09,664 --> 00:02:13,266
Skip ahead, then,
past the lonely, agonized months
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00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:16,504
of composing, revising,
polishing, editing, rewriting,
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00:02:16,537 --> 00:02:20,173
cutting, pasting, pacing,
doodling and solitary drinking,
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00:02:20,207 --> 00:02:22,510
and join our company
as they take the stage
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00:02:22,543 --> 00:02:24,779
for their first
read-through rehearsal.
27
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Location:
the Tarkington Theater,
28
00:02:26,881 --> 00:02:29,851
345 South Northwest Avenue.
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(bell rings)
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Curtain rises
on a desert bus stop
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halfway between
Parched Gulch and Arid Plains.
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Main scenography includes
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a 12-stool luncheonette,
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a one-pump filling station
35
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and a ten-cabin
motor court hotel.
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00:02:47,502 --> 00:02:48,903
Upstage left:
37
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the Tomahawk Mountains.
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Highest peak: 11,000 feet.
39
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Upstage right:
an unfinished highway overpass
40
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which vaults up 20 feet,
then chops off midair
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behind a permanent roadblock.
42
00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:02,517
Center front: an impact crater
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00:03:02,550 --> 00:03:04,418
a hundred feet
in depth and diameter
44
00:03:04,451 --> 00:03:08,255
encircled by a low Little League
variety chain-link fence.
45
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-(train whistle blows)
-(train chugging)
46
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Offstage, distant:
a 650-car freight train
47
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which click-clacks by
at five miles an hour.
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Note to chief electrician:
49
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The light of the desert sun
is neither warm nor cool
50
00:03:21,268 --> 00:03:23,805
but always clean
51
00:03:23,838 --> 00:03:26,741
and, above all, unforgiving.
52
00:03:26,774 --> 00:03:29,242
Cast: Augie Steenbeck,
53
00:03:29,276 --> 00:03:31,512
war photographer, early 40s.
54
00:03:31,546 --> 00:03:34,749
His son Woodrow, 14,
also known as Brainiac.
55
00:03:35,717 --> 00:03:38,753
Midge Campbell, late 30s,
film actress.
56
00:03:38,786 --> 00:03:40,955
Her daughter Dinah, 15.
57
00:03:40,988 --> 00:03:43,725
June Douglas, schoolteacher.
58
00:03:43,758 --> 00:03:46,493
Ranch hand Montana, above.
59
00:03:46,527 --> 00:03:48,596
Grif Gibson, five-star general.
60
00:03:48,629 --> 00:03:53,266
Sandy Borden, Roger Cho,
J.J. Kellogg.
61
00:03:53,300 --> 00:03:55,670
Clifford, Ricky, Shelly.
62
00:03:56,504 --> 00:03:59,741
Stanley Zak, 65, retired.
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00:04:00,908 --> 00:04:04,444
The action of the play takes
place in September of 1955.
64
00:04:04,478 --> 00:04:07,749
Act one:
Friday morning, 7:00 a.m.
65
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Act two: the next day.
66
00:04:10,317 --> 00:04:12,653
Act three: one week later.
67
00:04:12,687 --> 00:04:16,389
("Last Train to San Fernando"
by Johnny Duncan playing)
68
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♪ Last train to San Fernando ♪
69
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♪ Last train
to San Fernando ♪
70
00:04:24,866 --> 00:04:28,503
♪ If you miss this one,
you'll never get another one ♪
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00:04:28,536 --> 00:04:32,640
♪ Bee-dee-dee-dee-bom-bom
to San Fernando ♪
72
00:04:32,673 --> 00:04:34,509
♪ Last night,
I met my sweet Dorothy ♪
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00:04:34,542 --> 00:04:36,544
♪ She said, "Tomorrow I join
in sweet matrimony" ♪
74
00:04:36,577 --> 00:04:38,546
♪ But if you act all right ♪
75
00:04:38,579 --> 00:04:40,313
♪ Oh, you can
take me out tonight ♪
76
00:04:40,347 --> 00:04:42,449
♪ We can wine and dine
and get back in time ♪
77
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♪ For the last train
to San Fernando ♪
78
00:04:45,086 --> 00:04:49,957
♪ Last train to San Fernando ♪
79
00:04:49,991 --> 00:04:53,628
♪ Last train
to San Fernando ♪
80
00:04:53,661 --> 00:04:57,364
♪ If you miss this one,
you'll never get another one ♪
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00:04:57,397 --> 00:05:00,701
♪ Bee-dee-dee-dee-bom-bom
to San Fernando. ♪
82
00:05:01,669 --> 00:05:03,604
♪ ♪
83
00:05:21,122 --> 00:05:23,090
(song ends)
84
00:05:23,124 --> 00:05:25,693
(wind whistling)
85
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(bell clanging)
86
00:05:35,402 --> 00:05:37,505
(roadrunner chitters)
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(train whistle blows)
88
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(wind howling)
89
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(metallic squeaking)
90
00:06:24,518 --> 00:06:26,721
(bird screeches)
91
00:06:35,529 --> 00:06:36,998
(distant rumble)
92
00:06:41,769 --> 00:06:43,804
♪ ♪
93
00:06:48,809 --> 00:06:50,811
(engine rumbling)
94
00:07:03,824 --> 00:07:05,893
(whirring)
95
00:07:08,029 --> 00:07:10,965
(metallic squeaking continues)
96
00:07:16,504 --> 00:07:18,706
(bird calling)
97
00:07:25,579 --> 00:07:28,015
GIRL (faintly):
It's a dead snake.
98
00:07:28,049 --> 00:07:30,251
Flat snake.
99
00:07:30,284 --> 00:07:32,954
Poke him in the head
with this stick.
100
00:07:32,987 --> 00:07:35,589
(chatter continues indistinctly)
101
00:07:35,623 --> 00:07:37,024
("Island of Dreams"
by The Springfields playing)
102
00:07:37,058 --> 00:07:39,160
-♪ I wander the streets ♪
-(entry bell jingles)
103
00:07:39,193 --> 00:07:42,697
♪ And the gay
crowded places... ♪
104
00:07:42,730 --> 00:07:46,233
Five orders of flapjacks
and a black coffee.
105
00:07:46,267 --> 00:07:49,603
♪ But somehow it seems ♪
106
00:07:49,637 --> 00:07:53,007
♪ That my thoughts ever stray ♪
107
00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:54,842
♪ To our last... ♪
108
00:07:54,875 --> 00:07:56,110
Who needs to pee?
109
00:07:56,143 --> 00:07:57,645
-Nobody needs to pee.
-I don't.
110
00:07:57,678 --> 00:07:59,513
Our average speed is
83 feet per second.
111
00:07:59,547 --> 00:08:01,282
Poor fuel efficiency
due to excess wind resistance.
112
00:08:01,315 --> 00:08:02,984
Probably the luggage rack.
113
00:08:03,017 --> 00:08:05,252
Based on data before
the loss of power, obviously.
114
00:08:05,286 --> 00:08:07,588
♪ High in the sky... ♪
115
00:08:07,621 --> 00:08:09,523
What do you little princesses
want to drink?
116
00:08:09,557 --> 00:08:10,925
-Oh, we're not princesses.
-I'm a vampire.
117
00:08:10,958 --> 00:08:12,827
I'm a mummy in Egypt
who got buried alive...
118
00:08:12,860 --> 00:08:14,729
-I suck people's blood.
-...and came back to life
119
00:08:14,762 --> 00:08:17,031
-with his head chopped off.
-I'm a fairy.
120
00:08:18,766 --> 00:08:21,235
How about a glass
of strawberry milk?
121
00:08:21,268 --> 00:08:23,904
-(distant explosion)
-(rumbling)
122
00:08:23,938 --> 00:08:25,272
What was that?
123
00:08:25,306 --> 00:08:27,274
Another atom bomb test.
124
00:08:27,308 --> 00:08:29,710
(song continues faintly inside)
125
00:08:33,114 --> 00:08:34,915
(camera clicks)
126
00:08:35,916 --> 00:08:37,918
(birds calling)
127
00:08:43,591 --> 00:08:46,027
I've seen this combination
of symptoms twice before
128
00:08:46,060 --> 00:08:48,095
in the '52 Estate model.
129
00:08:48,129 --> 00:08:52,299
In one case, it was a quick fix
of a 75-cent part.
130
00:08:52,333 --> 00:08:54,602
In the other case,
it was a difficult, costly,
131
00:08:54,635 --> 00:08:57,304
time-consuming disassembly
and re-mantling
132
00:08:57,338 --> 00:08:58,906
of the entire drivetrain
133
00:08:58,939 --> 00:09:01,142
and lubrication mechanism,
which didn't work.
134
00:09:01,175 --> 00:09:02,843
The motor exploded itself,
135
00:09:02,877 --> 00:09:05,046
and the body was stripped
and sold for scrap.
136
00:09:05,079 --> 00:09:06,747
There it is.
137
00:09:08,049 --> 00:09:10,084
(loud clunking)
138
00:09:12,386 --> 00:09:13,788
(glass shatters)
139
00:09:13,821 --> 00:09:15,322
Well, which one have we got?
140
00:09:15,356 --> 00:09:17,758
We're about to find out.
141
00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:21,629
(steady ticking)
142
00:09:26,300 --> 00:09:28,702
(squeaking)
143
00:09:46,287 --> 00:09:48,389
(train whistle blows
in distance)
144
00:09:48,422 --> 00:09:49,723
(engine starts)
145
00:09:49,757 --> 00:09:51,225
You got the first one.
146
00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:52,793
-How much do I owe you?
-Nothing.
147
00:09:52,827 --> 00:09:54,361
-Ten dollars for the tow.
-(engine backfires)
148
00:09:54,395 --> 00:09:56,897
-(air hissing)
-(metallic creaking)
149
00:09:59,266 --> 00:10:01,602
What's that? Wh-What's that?
150
00:10:02,203 --> 00:10:03,838
I don't know.
151
00:10:03,871 --> 00:10:06,607
-(sparks popping)
-(rattling)
152
00:10:15,683 --> 00:10:17,318
I think you've got
a third problem
153
00:10:17,351 --> 00:10:19,353
we've never seen before.
154
00:10:19,386 --> 00:10:21,255
(line ringing)
155
00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:23,657
(girls chattering indistinctly)
156
00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:27,695
MAN (over phone):
Zak residence.
157
00:10:27,728 --> 00:10:29,296
Romulus, this is
Augie Steenbeck.
158
00:10:29,330 --> 00:10:31,065
Good morning, Mr. Augie.
The gate is open.
159
00:10:31,098 --> 00:10:33,033
-No, we're not there.
-You're not here?
160
00:10:33,067 --> 00:10:36,003
-May I speak to Mr. Zak?
-Yes, Mr. Augie.
161
00:10:37,171 --> 00:10:39,773
-(gunfire)
-(siren wailing)
162
00:10:47,481 --> 00:10:50,651
(gunfire and siren
continue in distance)
163
00:10:51,919 --> 00:10:53,420
-You're not here?
-We're not there.
164
00:10:53,454 --> 00:10:55,422
The car exploded.
Come get the girls.
165
00:10:55,456 --> 00:10:56,991
The car exploded?
166
00:10:57,024 --> 00:10:59,727
Parts of the car
exploded itself, yes.
167
00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:01,362
-Come get the girls.
-I'm not their chauffeur.
168
00:11:01,395 --> 00:11:02,897
I'm their grandfather.
169
00:11:02,930 --> 00:11:04,999
-Where are you?
-Asteroid City.
170
00:11:05,032 --> 00:11:07,001
Farm Route Six, mile 75.
Come get the girls.
171
00:11:07,034 --> 00:11:08,469
I have to stay here
with Woodrow.
172
00:11:08,503 --> 00:11:09,904
What are you talking about?
173
00:11:09,937 --> 00:11:12,173
The thing for Woodrow.
We're there.
174
00:11:14,074 --> 00:11:15,876
Hmm.
175
00:11:19,013 --> 00:11:21,682
-Hello?
-How'd they take it?
176
00:11:25,186 --> 00:11:26,387
They didn't.
177
00:11:26,420 --> 00:11:27,721
-No?
-No.
178
00:11:27,755 --> 00:11:29,190
-No.
-Yes.
179
00:11:29,223 --> 00:11:31,192
-You didn't tell them still?
-I still didn't tell them.
180
00:11:31,225 --> 00:11:33,694
-You promised.
-I know.
181
00:11:35,129 --> 00:11:37,464
The time is never right.
182
00:11:37,498 --> 00:11:40,067
The time...
183
00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:42,102
is always wrong.
184
00:11:50,778 --> 00:11:53,080
Are you okay?
185
00:11:53,113 --> 00:11:54,949
No.
186
00:11:58,385 --> 00:12:00,821
You never liked me, did you?
187
00:12:00,854 --> 00:12:03,824
I never loved you.
I always thought that you...
188
00:12:03,857 --> 00:12:05,527
You always thought
I wasn't good enough for her.
189
00:12:05,560 --> 00:12:07,995
Yes.
We're saying the same thing.
190
00:12:09,430 --> 00:12:11,232
-Gas up the Cadillac.
-Okay.
191
00:12:11,265 --> 00:12:12,499
-Tell the kids.
-I will.
192
00:12:12,534 --> 00:12:14,902
I'll be there when I get there.
193
00:12:24,178 --> 00:12:26,180
(sighs)
194
00:12:26,213 --> 00:12:27,781
(camera clicks)
195
00:12:27,815 --> 00:12:29,250
It's the end of that car.
196
00:12:29,283 --> 00:12:31,385
Andromeda, check under
the floor mats. Come on.
197
00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:33,053
Pandora, check the side pockets.
198
00:12:33,087 --> 00:12:35,022
Cassiopeia, check the cracks
between the seats.
199
00:12:35,055 --> 00:12:37,191
Take everything.
What do you think, Woodrow?
200
00:12:37,224 --> 00:12:39,126
I think it's kind of sad.
201
00:13:04,251 --> 00:13:06,320
♪ ♪
202
00:13:11,292 --> 00:13:13,060
(horn honks)
203
00:13:30,377 --> 00:13:32,313
(air brakes hiss)
204
00:13:32,346 --> 00:13:34,415
(engine stops)
205
00:13:36,283 --> 00:13:38,787
Rest stop, 13 minutes.
206
00:13:43,123 --> 00:13:44,858
-Head count.
-CHILD: One.
207
00:13:44,892 --> 00:13:46,126
-Two.
-Three. -Four.
208
00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:47,494
-Five. -Six.
-Seven. -Eight.
209
00:13:47,529 --> 00:13:49,063
-Nine. -Ten.
-All present.
210
00:13:49,096 --> 00:13:50,931
Let's give thanks
for a safe journey. Billy?
211
00:13:50,964 --> 00:13:52,366
Dear Heavenly Father,
we thank thee kindly
212
00:13:52,399 --> 00:13:53,635
for a terrific bus ride.
213
00:13:53,668 --> 00:13:55,102
I ate three boxes
of Cracker Jacks,
214
00:13:55,135 --> 00:13:56,538
got a dog whistle
and a miniature map
215
00:13:56,571 --> 00:13:58,172
of the original 13 colonies.
216
00:13:58,205 --> 00:14:00,140
Also, we saw a coyote
get run over by a 14-wheeler
217
00:14:00,174 --> 00:14:01,942
and left him flat as a pancake.
218
00:14:01,975 --> 00:14:03,043
Boy, oh, boy. What else?
219
00:14:03,077 --> 00:14:04,111
The bus driver had to stop twice
220
00:14:04,144 --> 00:14:05,379
because Bernice
couldn't hold it.
221
00:14:05,412 --> 00:14:06,480
-Could so.
-JUNE: Amen.
222
00:14:06,514 --> 00:14:07,948
CHILDREN:
Amen.
223
00:14:07,981 --> 00:14:09,450
JUNE:
Lunchtime. Line up single file.
224
00:14:09,483 --> 00:14:12,319
("Ida Red" by Bob Wills
& His Texas Playboys playing)
225
00:14:12,353 --> 00:14:14,955
My word. It's hot.
226
00:14:14,988 --> 00:14:16,390
It's the desert.
What'd you expect?
227
00:14:16,423 --> 00:14:18,560
I don't know if I expected
one thing or another,
228
00:14:18,593 --> 00:14:20,494
but I'm wilting
like a cut petunia.
229
00:14:20,528 --> 00:14:22,096
-Humans don't wilt.
-Don't they?
230
00:14:22,129 --> 00:14:23,497
No, wilting is a phenomenon
231
00:14:23,531 --> 00:14:25,432
by which a petal,
leaf or stem...
232
00:14:25,466 --> 00:14:27,101
Do you dare me?
233
00:14:27,134 --> 00:14:29,571
-Dare you what?
-To eat this hot pepper.
234
00:14:29,604 --> 00:14:32,206
-It's an experiment.
-No, don't do it.
235
00:14:35,376 --> 00:14:36,644
Hot pepper.
236
00:14:36,678 --> 00:14:38,580
Holy Toledo.
That's Midge Campbell.
237
00:14:38,613 --> 00:14:40,481
-Where? Who?
-Right smack in back of you.
238
00:14:40,515 --> 00:14:42,116
Don't look.
239
00:14:42,149 --> 00:14:44,318
That must be her bodyguard.
240
00:14:44,351 --> 00:14:46,387
Mr. Cho, yes? Hello.
241
00:14:46,420 --> 00:14:48,690
You're in cabin seven.
Well, tent seven.
242
00:14:48,723 --> 00:14:50,924
Here's the key,
but there's no door.
243
00:14:50,958 --> 00:14:52,527
Just a flap. Tent flap.
(snickers)
244
00:14:52,560 --> 00:14:54,161
-Tent?
-I know.
245
00:14:54,194 --> 00:14:56,296
I upgraded the electrical system
Tuesday morning.
246
00:14:56,330 --> 00:14:58,132
Better lighting,
power for the ice machine
247
00:14:58,165 --> 00:14:59,634
and a wall-mounted bug zapper.
248
00:14:59,667 --> 00:15:01,402
Unfortunately,
a mistake got made,
249
00:15:01,435 --> 00:15:03,070
and cabin seven
burned to the ground.
250
00:15:03,103 --> 00:15:04,171
It's a tent now.
251
00:15:04,204 --> 00:15:05,540
We don't want to sleep
in a tent.
252
00:15:05,573 --> 00:15:07,141
Of course. I understand.
253
00:15:07,174 --> 00:15:09,209
May I say, I think
you'll find it very comfortable.
254
00:15:09,243 --> 00:15:11,478
Is the young gentleman
in distress?
255
00:15:11,513 --> 00:15:12,647
He's thirsty.
256
00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:14,281
Of course. I understand.
257
00:15:14,314 --> 00:15:16,684
Uh, juice preference, please:
apple, orange or tomato?
258
00:15:16,718 --> 00:15:18,385
(banging)
259
00:15:18,419 --> 00:15:20,187
Excuse me, sir?
260
00:15:20,220 --> 00:15:22,590
This bucket of nuts
just stole my quarter.
261
00:15:22,624 --> 00:15:24,992
I beg your pardon.
262
00:15:25,025 --> 00:15:26,393
-(switch clicks)
-(coin clinking)
263
00:15:26,427 --> 00:15:28,696
♪ She lived so long
till her head got bald ♪
264
00:15:28,730 --> 00:15:30,632
♪ Taken a notion
not to die at all ♪
265
00:15:30,665 --> 00:15:32,700
♪ Ida Red, Ida Red ♪
266
00:15:32,734 --> 00:15:35,936
♪ I'm a plumb fool
about Ida Red... ♪
267
00:15:38,606 --> 00:15:40,174
AUGIE:
You're probably wondering why
268
00:15:40,207 --> 00:15:42,409
we didn't pack
your mother's suitcase.
269
00:15:43,578 --> 00:15:47,314
It's because she's not
coming with us on this journey.
270
00:15:47,347 --> 00:15:49,584
She can't come.
271
00:15:49,617 --> 00:15:52,085
She got too sick.
272
00:15:52,119 --> 00:15:54,354
And, to put it bluntly,
after all the surgeries,
273
00:15:54,388 --> 00:15:56,423
-therapies and interventions,
-(dogs barking)
274
00:15:56,457 --> 00:15:59,493
after two years
of struggling and suffering,
275
00:15:59,527 --> 00:16:02,062
she succumbed to her illnesses.
276
00:16:02,664 --> 00:16:04,064
I'm sorry.
277
00:16:04,097 --> 00:16:05,999
I didn't know
how to tell you then.
278
00:16:06,033 --> 00:16:08,035
I couldn't figure out
how to tell you later.
279
00:16:08,068 --> 00:16:09,704
I didn't know what to do.
280
00:16:09,737 --> 00:16:12,339
The time was never right.
281
00:16:13,407 --> 00:16:16,977
You're saying our mother died
three weeks ago?
282
00:16:18,546 --> 00:16:20,113
Yes.
283
00:16:20,147 --> 00:16:23,116
When is she coming back?
284
00:16:23,150 --> 00:16:25,252
She's not coming back.
285
00:16:26,119 --> 00:16:27,488
Let's say she's in heaven.
286
00:16:27,522 --> 00:16:29,624
Which doesn't exist for me,
of course,
287
00:16:29,657 --> 00:16:31,593
but you're Episcopalian.
288
00:16:32,694 --> 00:16:35,028
Come here. Let me hug you.
289
00:16:40,568 --> 00:16:43,270
Okay. Sit back down.
290
00:16:49,777 --> 00:16:53,146
Did you know already, Woodrow?
291
00:16:54,816 --> 00:16:57,184
I think so.
292
00:16:57,852 --> 00:16:59,654
She'd been away so long.
293
00:16:59,687 --> 00:17:00,788
WOODROW:
Mm-hmm.
294
00:17:00,822 --> 00:17:02,389
(inhales deeply)
295
00:17:02,422 --> 00:17:04,526
(exhales):
Yeah.
296
00:17:04,559 --> 00:17:06,159
We're gonna be okay.
297
00:17:06,193 --> 00:17:07,529
Your grandfather's on his way.
298
00:17:07,562 --> 00:17:09,531
We're gonna stay with him
for a period of time
299
00:17:09,564 --> 00:17:12,466
which is yet to be determined
how long it's gonna be.
300
00:17:13,467 --> 00:17:16,036
Is she in there?
301
00:17:19,607 --> 00:17:21,441
Yeah.
302
00:17:21,475 --> 00:17:23,611
She's in the Tupperware.
303
00:17:23,645 --> 00:17:25,479
(wind whistling)
304
00:17:25,513 --> 00:17:27,381
Cremated.
305
00:17:30,885 --> 00:17:34,454
Are we orphans now?
306
00:17:36,256 --> 00:17:37,190
Huh?
307
00:17:37,224 --> 00:17:40,695
Are we orphans now?
308
00:17:40,728 --> 00:17:42,162
No.
309
00:17:42,195 --> 00:17:44,699
Because I'm still alive.
310
00:17:44,732 --> 00:17:47,434
(shuddering breaths)
311
00:17:47,467 --> 00:17:50,470
When my father died, my mother
told me, "He's in the stars."
312
00:17:50,505 --> 00:17:53,841
I told her, "The closest star,
other than that one,
313
00:17:53,875 --> 00:17:55,610
"is four and half
light-years away
314
00:17:55,643 --> 00:17:58,412
with a surface temperature
over 5,000 degrees centigrade."
315
00:17:58,445 --> 00:17:59,714
(scoffs)
316
00:17:59,747 --> 00:18:01,315
"He's not in the stars," I said.
317
00:18:01,348 --> 00:18:03,317
"He's in the ground."
318
00:18:03,350 --> 00:18:04,886
She thought it would comfort me.
319
00:18:04,919 --> 00:18:06,521
She was an atheist.
320
00:18:06,554 --> 00:18:09,591
The other thing she'd say
which is incorrect:
321
00:18:09,624 --> 00:18:11,593
"Time heals all wounds."
322
00:18:11,626 --> 00:18:13,160
No.
323
00:18:13,193 --> 00:18:15,429
Maybe it can be a Band-Aid.
324
00:18:15,462 --> 00:18:17,865
Your concept of time is
completely distorted, though.
325
00:18:17,899 --> 00:18:19,734
I don't think any of you
except Woodrow
326
00:18:19,767 --> 00:18:22,235
even understands
what 15 minutes means.
327
00:18:22,269 --> 00:18:26,239
15 minutes is 6,200 hours.
328
00:18:28,910 --> 00:18:31,211
Exactly.
329
00:18:31,244 --> 00:18:33,280
That's not your fault.
330
00:18:39,386 --> 00:18:41,856
If you could have anything
in the world to eat right now,
331
00:18:41,889 --> 00:18:43,725
what would it be?
332
00:18:46,894 --> 00:18:49,229
The character of Augie Steenbeck
333
00:18:49,262 --> 00:18:51,365
in the imaginary tale
of our production
334
00:18:51,398 --> 00:18:54,234
was to become famously
and indelibly connected
335
00:18:54,267 --> 00:18:56,403
to the actor
who created the role,
336
00:18:56,436 --> 00:18:58,906
a former carpenter
discovered in a bit part
337
00:18:58,940 --> 00:19:01,308
by the play's director,
Schubert Green.
338
00:19:01,341 --> 00:19:03,477
I've finished
my correspondence, Analisse.
339
00:19:03,511 --> 00:19:05,245
Please bring me my cocktail
and my pill.
340
00:19:05,278 --> 00:19:06,781
-Remember, the gentleman...
-Oh, no.
341
00:19:06,814 --> 00:19:07,949
...referred by Mr. Green
has arrived.
342
00:19:07,982 --> 00:19:09,651
No. Send him away.
343
00:19:09,684 --> 00:19:11,519
Put him up at the Salty Skipper
or the Lighthouse Inn
344
00:19:11,552 --> 00:19:13,286
and tell him to come back
in the morning
345
00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:14,454
but not before 11:00.
346
00:19:14,488 --> 00:19:15,923
The occasion
of the first meeting
347
00:19:15,957 --> 00:19:18,258
between playwright and player
is now,
348
00:19:18,291 --> 00:19:19,861
in our fanciful telling,
349
00:19:19,894 --> 00:19:22,429
a matter of
theatrical lore and legend.
350
00:19:22,462 --> 00:19:25,465
Setting: late autumn,
late afternoon,
351
00:19:25,499 --> 00:19:28,503
a seaside village
outside the grand metropolis.
352
00:19:28,536 --> 00:19:31,271
Oh, no, again.
I-I beg your pardon. I'm sorry.
353
00:19:31,304 --> 00:19:33,841
Did Miss Watson not inform you?
I'm indisposed.
354
00:19:33,875 --> 00:19:36,309
I know, but the ice cream
would've melted.
355
00:19:42,684 --> 00:19:44,552
-What's this?
-I think it's the one you like.
356
00:19:44,585 --> 00:19:46,654
Gooseberry Wriggle
from the Frosty Spoon
357
00:19:46,688 --> 00:19:48,221
on East Rotterdam.
358
00:19:48,255 --> 00:19:50,257
I wrapped it in sawdust,
newspaper and peanut shells.
359
00:19:50,290 --> 00:19:51,626
You shouldn't waste
your spending money
360
00:19:51,659 --> 00:19:52,960
on an old fool like me.
361
00:19:52,994 --> 00:19:54,428
Well, they gave me
ten dollars bus fare,
362
00:19:54,461 --> 00:19:55,963
so I bought us a half bucket,
hitchhiked
363
00:19:55,997 --> 00:19:58,331
and pocketed the change.
364
00:20:03,270 --> 00:20:05,540
Cool and delicious.
365
00:20:06,473 --> 00:20:08,009
How long have you been
in the service?
366
00:20:08,042 --> 00:20:09,476
The service? What service?
367
00:20:09,510 --> 00:20:10,978
I don't know
what you're talking about.
368
00:20:11,012 --> 00:20:12,580
Well, unless I've been
deliberately misinformed,
369
00:20:12,613 --> 00:20:14,481
I believe those stripes
indicate the status
370
00:20:14,515 --> 00:20:16,450
of a ranking corporal,
second class.
371
00:20:16,483 --> 00:20:18,986
Oh, no. I-I'm G.I. Number Three
in Bugle Boy Blows the Blues.
372
00:20:19,020 --> 00:20:20,655
Was, anyway. We closed tonight.
373
00:20:20,688 --> 00:20:23,256
I see. Property of
the wardrobe department.
374
00:20:23,290 --> 00:20:25,292
Not anymore.
375
00:20:26,694 --> 00:20:28,763
How was it, by the way?
376
00:20:29,764 --> 00:20:31,264
-The play? It stunk.
-Mm.
377
00:20:31,298 --> 00:20:33,333
-Mind if I crack open a window?
-Uh, not at all.
378
00:20:33,366 --> 00:20:34,602
It's sweltering, isn't it?
379
00:20:34,635 --> 00:20:36,771
Even the daisies
and buttercups are drooping...
380
00:20:36,804 --> 00:20:39,741
That window sticks a bit.
That window sticks a bit!
381
00:20:41,676 --> 00:20:43,511
(birds chirping)
382
00:20:43,544 --> 00:20:46,547
-(laughing)
-You broke my window.
383
00:20:51,586 --> 00:20:54,354
Why does Augie burn his hand
on the Quicky-Griddle?
384
00:20:55,923 --> 00:20:58,425
Well, I don't even know myself,
to tell you the truth.
385
00:20:58,458 --> 00:20:59,761
I hadn't planned it that way.
386
00:20:59,794 --> 00:21:01,896
He just sort of did it
while I was typing.
387
00:21:01,929 --> 00:21:03,765
Is it too extraordinary for you?
388
00:21:03,798 --> 00:21:06,399
Uh, I guess, the way I read it,
he was looking for an excuse
389
00:21:06,433 --> 00:21:08,503
why his heart
was beating so fast.
390
00:21:08,536 --> 00:21:09,704
Oh.
391
00:21:09,737 --> 00:21:12,372
Oh, what an interesting
sentiment.
392
00:21:12,405 --> 00:21:14,075
I love that idea.
393
00:21:14,108 --> 00:21:15,710
Maybe he should say it.
394
00:21:15,743 --> 00:21:17,444
It's a very good line.
395
00:21:19,580 --> 00:21:22,750
No, I suppose not.
Not necessary.
396
00:21:25,887 --> 00:21:27,922
(button clicks)
397
00:21:27,955 --> 00:21:29,389
(record player whirring)
398
00:21:29,422 --> 00:21:31,659
(door opens and closes)
399
00:21:31,692 --> 00:21:34,896
(Pachelbel's "Canon (Canon
and Gigue in D Major)" playing)
400
00:21:47,074 --> 00:21:48,876
It's a fact-- we're not alone.
401
00:21:48,910 --> 00:21:50,545
The alien stole the asteroid.
402
00:21:50,578 --> 00:21:52,079
Long thought to be
a lunar splinter
403
00:21:52,113 --> 00:21:53,514
fragmented from the lesser moon
404
00:21:53,548 --> 00:21:55,750
of the hypothetical planet
Magnavox-27,
405
00:21:55,783 --> 00:21:58,052
now considered
a rogue pygmy cometette,
406
00:21:58,085 --> 00:22:00,555
according to the encyclopedia.
407
00:22:00,588 --> 00:22:02,089
Obviously, she would've said
something to him.
408
00:22:02,123 --> 00:22:03,991
I'm certain of it.
Your mother, I mean.
409
00:22:04,025 --> 00:22:06,561
She would've gotten him to tell
us the secrets of the universe
410
00:22:06,594 --> 00:22:08,863
or yelled at him
or made him laugh.
411
00:22:08,896 --> 00:22:11,431
She would've had a hypothesis.
412
00:22:11,464 --> 00:22:13,668
You remind me of her
more than ever.
413
00:22:13,701 --> 00:22:15,435
She wasn't shy.
414
00:22:15,468 --> 00:22:17,538
You'll grow out of that.
415
00:22:17,572 --> 00:22:21,341
I think your sisters might be
aliens, too, by the way.
416
00:22:24,545 --> 00:22:26,848
When I met your mother,
she was only 19.
417
00:22:26,881 --> 00:22:29,382
She was smoking a cigarette,
reading a paperback,
418
00:22:29,416 --> 00:22:31,819
taking a bath in a swimsuit
on a rusty fire escape
419
00:22:31,853 --> 00:22:34,689
a flight and a half
below my camera position.
420
00:22:34,722 --> 00:22:37,758
Sometimes
I sometimes still think
421
00:22:37,792 --> 00:22:40,528
I still hear her here
422
00:22:40,561 --> 00:22:42,763
breathing in the dark.
423
00:22:46,767 --> 00:22:49,036
Who knows, Woodrow?
424
00:22:49,070 --> 00:22:51,471
Maybe she is in the stars.
425
00:22:51,505 --> 00:22:53,708
(music stops)
426
00:23:04,185 --> 00:23:06,721
You're perfect.
427
00:23:09,590 --> 00:23:12,793
(Pachelbel's "Canon (Canon
and Gigue in D Major)" playing)
428
00:23:32,947 --> 00:23:35,482
-Okay?
-Okay.
429
00:23:47,762 --> 00:23:49,597
(music fades)
430
00:23:49,630 --> 00:23:51,832
-(wind whistling)
-(insects chirping)
431
00:23:59,206 --> 00:24:00,975
(roadrunner chitters)
432
00:24:04,111 --> 00:24:06,881
-(bus door opens and closes)
-(music playing quietly)
433
00:24:06,914 --> 00:24:09,917
-(bus engine starts)
-MONTANA: Hold on, partner!
434
00:24:13,087 --> 00:24:15,690
-Zut alors.
-Oh, no.
435
00:24:19,093 --> 00:24:20,594
When's the next one?
436
00:24:20,628 --> 00:24:23,230
Sunday morning, I think.
437
00:24:23,264 --> 00:24:26,734
-(siren blaring)
-(gunfire)
438
00:24:31,539 --> 00:24:33,574
(clears throat)
439
00:24:34,875 --> 00:24:36,476
Drink your juice.
440
00:24:39,613 --> 00:24:41,248
(clears throat)
441
00:24:41,282 --> 00:24:42,984
(camera clicks)
442
00:24:45,019 --> 00:24:46,253
You took a picture of me.
443
00:24:46,287 --> 00:24:48,589
Uh-huh.
444
00:24:49,223 --> 00:24:50,758
Why?
445
00:24:51,559 --> 00:24:53,027
I'm a photographer.
446
00:24:54,028 --> 00:24:55,229
You didn't ask permission.
447
00:24:55,262 --> 00:24:57,932
-I never ask permission.
-Why not?
448
00:24:57,965 --> 00:25:02,136
Because I work in trenches,
battlefields and combat zones.
449
00:25:02,169 --> 00:25:03,771
Really?
450
00:25:03,804 --> 00:25:05,006
Uh-huh.
451
00:25:05,906 --> 00:25:07,742
You mean you're
a war photographer?
452
00:25:07,775 --> 00:25:08,509
Mostly.
453
00:25:08,542 --> 00:25:11,145
Sometimes I cover
sporting events.
454
00:25:11,178 --> 00:25:13,214
My name is Augie Steenbeck.
455
00:25:13,247 --> 00:25:15,549
MIDGE:
Mm-hmm.
456
00:25:16,317 --> 00:25:17,785
(slurping through straw)
457
00:25:17,818 --> 00:25:19,820
What are you gonna do with it?
458
00:25:19,854 --> 00:25:21,055
That picture.
459
00:25:21,088 --> 00:25:24,625
Hmm. Well, if it's any good,
I guess I'll try to sell it
460
00:25:24,658 --> 00:25:26,827
to a magazine,
now that you mention it.
461
00:25:26,861 --> 00:25:29,730
"Midge Campbell
eating a waffle."
462
00:25:32,633 --> 00:25:35,536
Make me a print first,
to approve.
463
00:25:36,203 --> 00:25:38,039
Uh-huh.
464
00:25:39,073 --> 00:25:40,908
This is Dinah.
465
00:25:40,941 --> 00:25:42,043
This is Woodrow.
466
00:25:42,076 --> 00:25:43,210
DINAH:
I have a question.
467
00:25:43,244 --> 00:25:44,712
AUGIE:
Uh-huh.
468
00:25:44,745 --> 00:25:46,647
Have you ever been shot
with bullets?
469
00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:48,582
Have I ever been...
470
00:25:48,616 --> 00:25:50,918
Uh, once or twice-- just grazed.
471
00:25:50,951 --> 00:25:54,088
He got shrapneled in the back
of the head, too. Show her.
472
00:25:57,158 --> 00:25:59,093
MIDGE:
Hmm.
473
00:26:01,962 --> 00:26:04,698
I don't say I forgive you yet,
by the way.
474
00:26:15,776 --> 00:26:17,144
(microphone feedback squeals)
475
00:26:17,178 --> 00:26:19,747
Welcome from the
United States Military-Science
476
00:26:19,780 --> 00:26:21,749
Research and Experimentation
Division,
477
00:26:21,782 --> 00:26:23,984
in conjunction with
the Larkings Foundation.
478
00:26:24,018 --> 00:26:25,352
We salute you.
479
00:26:25,386 --> 00:26:27,822
(applause)
480
00:26:35,696 --> 00:26:37,698
Each year,
we celebrate Asteroid Day,
481
00:26:37,731 --> 00:26:40,634
commemorating
September 23, 3007 BC,
482
00:26:40,668 --> 00:26:43,904
when the Arid Plains Meteorite
made Earth impact.
483
00:26:44,905 --> 00:26:46,774
The itinerary for
this three-day celebration
484
00:26:46,807 --> 00:26:48,976
includes a tour of the
newly refurbished observatory
485
00:26:49,009 --> 00:26:51,779
with Dr. Hickenlooper
and her staff,
486
00:26:51,812 --> 00:26:54,148
a picnic supper
of chili and frankfurters
487
00:26:54,181 --> 00:26:56,884
with evening fireworks display,
488
00:26:56,917 --> 00:26:58,953
the viewing of
the astronomical ellipses
489
00:26:58,986 --> 00:27:01,388
at its peak
just before midnight tonight,
490
00:27:01,422 --> 00:27:03,858
and finally,
the awarding of the annual
491
00:27:03,891 --> 00:27:07,895
Hickenlooper Scholarship
after Monday's banquet lunch.
492
00:27:07,928 --> 00:27:10,264
Now, I'll start by presenting
the commemorative medals,
493
00:27:10,297 --> 00:27:12,199
but first,
I'll do my speech first,
494
00:27:12,233 --> 00:27:15,302
which you'll also receive in
a folio edition as a souvenir.
495
00:27:15,336 --> 00:27:16,337
(clears throat)
496
00:27:16,370 --> 00:27:19,773
♪ ♪
497
00:27:20,908 --> 00:27:23,110
-(amplified thumping)
-(clears throat)
498
00:27:24,478 --> 00:27:26,213
Chapter One.
499
00:27:26,247 --> 00:27:28,249
I walked to school 18 miles
each morning, milked the goats,
500
00:27:28,282 --> 00:27:29,984
plucked the chickens,
played hooky, caught fireflies,
501
00:27:30,017 --> 00:27:31,352
went skinny-dipping
in the watering hole,
502
00:27:31,385 --> 00:27:32,953
said my prayers every night
503
00:27:32,987 --> 00:27:34,421
and got whipped with
a maple switch twice a week.
504
00:27:34,455 --> 00:27:36,690
That was life.
505
00:27:38,192 --> 00:27:39,827
Chapter Two.
506
00:27:39,860 --> 00:27:41,795
My father went off to fight
in the war to end all wars--
507
00:27:41,829 --> 00:27:43,164
it didn't--
and what was left of him
508
00:27:43,197 --> 00:27:45,299
came back in a pine box
with a flag on top.
509
00:27:45,332 --> 00:27:47,301
End of Chapter Two.
510
00:27:47,334 --> 00:27:49,170
Next, I went to officer school,
511
00:27:49,203 --> 00:27:51,772
and 20 years passed
at the speed of a dream.
512
00:27:51,805 --> 00:27:54,909
A wife, a son,
a daughter, a poodle.
513
00:27:54,942 --> 00:27:57,044
Chapter Three. Another war.
514
00:27:57,077 --> 00:27:59,146
Arms and legs blown off
like popcorn,
515
00:27:59,180 --> 00:28:02,016
eyeballs gouged out,
figuratively and literally.
516
00:28:02,049 --> 00:28:04,185
The men put on shows
under the palm fronds
517
00:28:04,218 --> 00:28:05,719
dressed as women in hula skirts.
518
00:28:05,753 --> 00:28:07,388
That was life.
519
00:28:07,421 --> 00:28:09,790
In the meantime,
somebody else's story.
520
00:28:09,823 --> 00:28:11,225
A man thinks up a number,
521
00:28:11,258 --> 00:28:13,327
divides it by a trillion,
plugs it into the square root
522
00:28:13,360 --> 00:28:14,862
of the circumference
of the Earth
523
00:28:14,895 --> 00:28:16,430
multiplied by the speed
of a splitting atom,
524
00:28:16,463 --> 00:28:18,265
and voilà, progress.
525
00:28:18,299 --> 00:28:20,234
I'm not a scientist. You are.
526
00:28:20,267 --> 00:28:22,069
End of Chapter Three.
527
00:28:22,102 --> 00:28:24,838
Junior Stargazers
and Space Cadets,
528
00:28:24,872 --> 00:28:27,107
we watch transfixed as you enter
529
00:28:27,141 --> 00:28:30,311
into uncharted territories
of the brains and spirit.
530
00:28:30,344 --> 00:28:33,781
If you wanted to live
a nice, quiet, peaceful life,
531
00:28:33,814 --> 00:28:36,217
you picked the wrong time
to get born.
532
00:28:37,384 --> 00:28:39,253
That's my speech.
533
00:28:42,256 --> 00:28:44,124
(scattered applause)
534
00:28:47,094 --> 00:28:50,231
Be notified, you are each
the guardian of your own safety.
535
00:28:50,264 --> 00:28:51,533
Maintain alert caution
536
00:28:51,566 --> 00:28:54,068
throughout the following
demonstrations.
537
00:28:55,102 --> 00:28:56,804
To Ricky Cho,for his work in the field
538
00:28:56,837 --> 00:28:58,172
of aeronautical induction:
539
00:28:58,205 --> 00:29:00,941
the Collapsing StarRibbon of Success.
540
00:29:00,975 --> 00:29:03,277
To Clifford Kellogg,for his work in the study
541
00:29:03,310 --> 00:29:06,280
of particle disintegration:
542
00:29:06,313 --> 00:29:08,249
the Black Hole Badge of Triumph.
543
00:29:08,282 --> 00:29:09,850
To Dinah Campbell...
544
00:29:09,883 --> 00:29:11,418
It's fueled by cosmic radiation
instead of sunlight.
545
00:29:11,452 --> 00:29:13,020
GIBSON:
...for her work in the area
546
00:29:13,053 --> 00:29:15,122
of botanical acceleration...
547
00:29:15,155 --> 00:29:18,058
Unfortunately, it makes
all vegetables toxic.
548
00:29:18,092 --> 00:29:20,528
GIBSON:
...the Red Giant Sash of Honor.
549
00:29:20,562 --> 00:29:22,129
To Shelly Borden, for her work
550
00:29:22,162 --> 00:29:23,864
in the realmof mineral fabrication...
551
00:29:23,897 --> 00:29:25,866
I synthesized
an extraterrestrial element.
552
00:29:25,899 --> 00:29:28,302
It's going to be added
to the periodic table next year.
553
00:29:28,335 --> 00:29:31,005
GIBSON: ...the Distant NebulaLaurel Crown.
554
00:29:31,038 --> 00:29:33,774
To Woodrow Steenbeck...
555
00:29:35,009 --> 00:29:38,045
...for his work in the sphereof astronomical imaging...
556
00:29:42,584 --> 00:29:44,586
It may have applications
in the development
557
00:29:44,619 --> 00:29:46,420
of interstellar advertising.
558
00:29:46,453 --> 00:29:49,256
GIBSON: ...the White DwarfMedal of Achievement.
559
00:29:49,290 --> 00:29:51,325
(applause)
560
00:29:54,328 --> 00:29:55,863
Our tour ends here.
561
00:29:55,896 --> 00:29:57,331
Thank you for your attention,
and thank you
562
00:29:57,364 --> 00:30:00,267
to the Larkings Foundation
for their generous funding.
563
00:30:00,301 --> 00:30:02,336
(crowd murmuring)
564
00:30:05,439 --> 00:30:06,874
(device beeping softly)
565
00:30:06,907 --> 00:30:09,043
-What do those pulses indicate?
-What?
566
00:30:09,076 --> 00:30:11,011
Oh, the beeps and blips?
We don't know.
567
00:30:11,045 --> 00:30:13,581
Indecipherable radio emissions
from outer space.
568
00:30:13,615 --> 00:30:15,849
-Probably a red herring.
-Does it change ever?
569
00:30:15,883 --> 00:30:17,552
Not to my knowledge.
570
00:30:17,585 --> 00:30:20,020
-It's a date, maybe.
-It's a date?
571
00:30:20,054 --> 00:30:21,455
-On the galactic calendar.
-Maybe.
572
00:30:21,488 --> 00:30:23,991
Mary, we think it's a date
on the galactic calendar.
573
00:30:24,024 --> 00:30:26,193
-MARY: What? Wow.
-Is it always today?
574
00:30:26,226 --> 00:30:27,928
(beeping continues)
575
00:30:27,961 --> 00:30:30,030
♪ Yippee-yay ♪
576
00:30:30,064 --> 00:30:33,967
♪ There'll be no wedding bells
for today ♪
577
00:30:34,001 --> 00:30:37,605
♪ I got spurs that jingle,
jangle, jingle... ♪
578
00:30:37,639 --> 00:30:39,073
BILLY:
We thank thee for the ketchup,
579
00:30:39,106 --> 00:30:40,474
and we thank thee
for the mustard.
580
00:30:40,508 --> 00:30:41,609
We thank thee for the relish,
581
00:30:41,643 --> 00:30:43,377
and we thank thee
for the onions.
582
00:30:43,410 --> 00:30:45,446
-We thank thee for the pickles,
and we thank... -Head count.
583
00:30:45,479 --> 00:30:46,514
-One.
-Two.
584
00:30:46,548 --> 00:30:47,881
-Three.
-Four.
585
00:30:47,915 --> 00:30:49,416
-Five.
-Six.
586
00:30:49,450 --> 00:30:51,118
-Dwight? Where's Dwight?
-Eight.
587
00:30:51,151 --> 00:30:53,487
-Dwight? Dwight? -J.J.:
Less than 0.0000% chance exists
588
00:30:53,521 --> 00:30:55,923
-of extraterrestrial life
in the entire universe. -Dwight!
589
00:30:55,956 --> 00:30:57,257
It's a scientific fact.
590
00:30:57,291 --> 00:30:59,093
Other than space bugs
and microscopic worms.
591
00:30:59,126 --> 00:31:00,961
-I assertively disagree.
-So do I.
592
00:31:00,994 --> 00:31:02,963
-It's not a scientific fact.
-It's not even a number.
593
00:31:02,996 --> 00:31:04,632
-Pass the pickles, please.
-How's the chili?
594
00:31:04,666 --> 00:31:06,300
-Fine, once you add
the hot sauce. -Thank you.
595
00:31:06,333 --> 00:31:07,968
-MAN: Sparkler?
-Consider the constants:
596
00:31:08,001 --> 00:31:09,370
endless space
and immeasurable time.
597
00:31:09,403 --> 00:31:11,939
The likelihood is increased
by a factor of infinity.
598
00:31:11,972 --> 00:31:14,041
-Where'd you get that?
-The cantina machine.
599
00:31:14,074 --> 00:31:16,944
-Where's the cantina machine?
-SANDY: The cantina machine?
600
00:31:16,977 --> 00:31:20,214
Can you see anything
with those on your face?
601
00:31:20,247 --> 00:31:21,516
Hmm.
602
00:31:21,549 --> 00:31:23,917
Oh, gadzooks. Wh-What'd you...
603
00:31:23,951 --> 00:31:25,386
What did you do to deserve that?
604
00:31:25,419 --> 00:31:26,654
-Nothing.
-Who hit you?
605
00:31:26,688 --> 00:31:28,122
Nobody.
606
00:31:28,155 --> 00:31:30,324
It's greasepaint,
to feel like my character.
607
00:31:30,357 --> 00:31:33,193
Oh.
How does she get a black eye?
608
00:31:33,227 --> 00:31:34,161
In the story.
609
00:31:34,194 --> 00:31:35,630
Well, she doesn't in the story.
610
00:31:35,663 --> 00:31:37,431
-It's on the inside.
-Okay.
611
00:31:37,464 --> 00:31:39,466
-It's supposed to be, anyway.
-It's on the inside. All right.
612
00:31:39,501 --> 00:31:41,201
EXECUTIVE: The Larkings
Foundation claims permanent,
613
00:31:41,235 --> 00:31:43,003
-incontestable rights.
-That's right.
614
00:31:43,036 --> 00:31:44,338
-They're ours. We own them.
-Incontestable rights
615
00:31:44,371 --> 00:31:46,106
to all patents
or inventions derived
616
00:31:46,140 --> 00:31:47,675
from any and every submission,
without exception.
617
00:31:47,709 --> 00:31:49,276
Not for teenagers.
Read the fine print.
618
00:31:49,309 --> 00:31:51,111
The projects all belong
to Uncle Sam.
619
00:31:51,145 --> 00:31:52,946
-(food crunching)
-(dishes clinking)
620
00:31:52,980 --> 00:31:54,682
I call it
"Triple Orbit and Return
621
00:31:54,716 --> 00:31:57,284
without Burning Up
in the Atmosphere."
622
00:32:05,359 --> 00:32:08,028
Why are you sitting there
all by yourself?
623
00:32:08,061 --> 00:32:10,230
-You.
-Hmm?
624
00:32:11,064 --> 00:32:12,734
Uh, are you shy?
625
00:32:12,767 --> 00:32:14,968
I'm a late bloomer.
626
00:32:15,002 --> 00:32:16,638
So I've been told by my parents.
627
00:32:16,671 --> 00:32:19,473
-Are you intimidated by us?
-No.
628
00:32:19,507 --> 00:32:21,743
Let's do a personality test.
What's your name again?
629
00:32:21,776 --> 00:32:23,578
Woodrow L. Steenbeck.
630
00:32:23,611 --> 00:32:25,179
-Hmm.
-What's the "L" for?
631
00:32:25,212 --> 00:32:27,347
-WOODROW: Lindbergh.
-Everybody look at Woodrow.
632
00:32:31,351 --> 00:32:34,589
I agree.
Shy but not intimidated.
633
00:32:34,622 --> 00:32:36,423
Move over here, Woodrow.
634
00:32:49,036 --> 00:32:51,071
-Brainiac, huh?
-Yeah, brainiac.
635
00:32:51,104 --> 00:32:52,607
It sort of goes without saying,
doesn't it?
636
00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:55,242
Everybody already knows
we're abnormally intelligent.
637
00:32:55,275 --> 00:32:57,512
That's true.
My mother made it for me.
638
00:32:57,545 --> 00:33:00,180
It's supposed to be funny,
according to her sense of humor,
639
00:33:00,214 --> 00:33:02,416
but it's not as hilarious
as it was originally.
640
00:33:02,449 --> 00:33:04,084
Oh, really? How come?
641
00:33:04,117 --> 00:33:07,354
Because she was alive then.
Now she's dead.
642
00:33:07,387 --> 00:33:09,389
-Oh.
-Ha-ha.
643
00:33:11,693 --> 00:33:14,027
What was she like?
644
00:33:14,061 --> 00:33:16,363
My... Oh, my mother?
645
00:33:16,396 --> 00:33:18,600
She was, um...
646
00:33:23,337 --> 00:33:25,239
...like this.
647
00:33:33,080 --> 00:33:35,517
When did you lose her?
648
00:33:36,684 --> 00:33:40,788
Officially, this morning,
but I think I already knew.
649
00:33:40,822 --> 00:33:42,790
CLIFFORD:
Howdy.
650
00:33:42,824 --> 00:33:44,324
DINAH:
What are you doing up there?
651
00:33:44,358 --> 00:33:46,728
Just enjoying the desert air.
652
00:33:46,761 --> 00:33:48,696
-You dare me?
-DINAH: Dare you what?
653
00:33:48,730 --> 00:33:50,665
CLIFFORD:
To jump off this bungalow.
654
00:33:50,698 --> 00:33:53,568
-It's an experiment.
-No.
655
00:33:59,774 --> 00:34:01,509
I love gravity.
656
00:34:01,543 --> 00:34:04,579
It might be my favorite
law of physics at the moment.
657
00:34:06,113 --> 00:34:08,583
HOST:
Players of the stage,
658
00:34:08,616 --> 00:34:11,451
a tribe of troubadours
and nonconformists.
659
00:34:11,485 --> 00:34:14,689
They lead unconventional,
sometimes dangerous lives
660
00:34:14,722 --> 00:34:18,158
which nourish and elevate
their artistic aspirations
661
00:34:18,191 --> 00:34:20,460
and illuminate
the human condition.
662
00:34:20,494 --> 00:34:22,362
Next: ten weeks later,
663
00:34:22,396 --> 00:34:25,299
the eve of Asteroid City's
first public preview.
664
00:34:25,332 --> 00:34:27,835
A drawing room on board
the Apache Plainsliner
665
00:34:27,869 --> 00:34:30,103
bound for the California coast.
666
00:34:30,137 --> 00:34:32,339
-(knock at door)
-It's open.
667
00:34:33,908 --> 00:34:36,578
Schubert says
you got to come back.
668
00:34:37,612 --> 00:34:39,413
If I'm so important,
why isn't he here himself?
669
00:34:39,446 --> 00:34:41,415
Probably too busy. Too busy
to go chasing after you.
670
00:34:41,448 --> 00:34:43,150
They sent me.
You know who I am?
671
00:34:43,183 --> 00:34:44,586
I think so. Understudy.
672
00:34:44,619 --> 00:34:47,722
The understudy. That's right.
Let me just, uh...
673
00:34:47,755 --> 00:34:49,323
(breathing heavily)
674
00:34:49,356 --> 00:34:51,325
He said, if you're crying,
I read you this one.
675
00:34:51,358 --> 00:34:52,827
No, that's not it. Here it is.
676
00:34:52,860 --> 00:34:54,729
If you're hopping mad,
I read you this one.
677
00:34:54,762 --> 00:34:55,830
Give me both.
678
00:34:55,863 --> 00:34:57,497
Not what he said.
He said, if...
679
00:34:57,532 --> 00:34:59,199
Give me both.
680
00:35:04,672 --> 00:35:06,774
"Tell her she's a stuck-up,
low-class snob
681
00:35:06,808 --> 00:35:08,408
"but she's got
no good reason to be.
682
00:35:08,442 --> 00:35:10,310
"If she sasses you,
sass her back.
683
00:35:10,344 --> 00:35:11,679
"Tell her she's
a borderline neurotic
684
00:35:11,713 --> 00:35:12,747
with an Achilles heel complex."
685
00:35:12,780 --> 00:35:14,649
That's the second one.
686
00:35:17,250 --> 00:35:19,286
"Tell her she relies on
her beauty like a wobbly crutch.
687
00:35:19,319 --> 00:35:20,487
"It's her deepest weakness.
688
00:35:20,521 --> 00:35:21,856
"Tell her
she's got the potential
689
00:35:21,889 --> 00:35:23,490
"for genuine greatness,
but I say
690
00:35:23,524 --> 00:35:26,527
with absolute certainty
she will never achieve it."
691
00:35:26,561 --> 00:35:28,261
Anything else?
692
00:35:29,964 --> 00:35:32,466
Uh-huh. He said,
if you're cool and collected,
693
00:35:32,499 --> 00:35:34,368
which I think is
what I think you seem to be,
694
00:35:34,401 --> 00:35:36,370
then that means you probably
really don't want to come back
695
00:35:36,403 --> 00:35:37,772
and I got to give you this.
696
00:35:37,805 --> 00:35:39,507
-Read it.
-Not what he said.
697
00:35:39,540 --> 00:35:41,776
He said this one's private.
Just the two of you.
698
00:35:41,809 --> 00:35:44,444
He said that... He-he said...
699
00:35:50,283 --> 00:35:51,786
"Dear Kim, I'm sorry I shouted
700
00:35:51,819 --> 00:35:53,821
"and called you a spoiled bitch
and a minor talent
701
00:35:53,855 --> 00:35:56,223
"and broke your glasses
and threw them out the window.
702
00:35:56,256 --> 00:35:57,625
"Given that I have always
considered you
703
00:35:57,659 --> 00:35:59,393
"to be the most consummately
gifted living actress
704
00:35:59,426 --> 00:36:01,328
"and a person of great
intelligence and character,
705
00:36:01,361 --> 00:36:02,930
"these statements and actions
706
00:36:02,964 --> 00:36:05,232
"do not accurately reflect
my true feelings.
707
00:36:05,265 --> 00:36:06,634
"Yes, I may be
a manipulative snake,
708
00:36:06,668 --> 00:36:08,536
"as you once characterized me
behind my back--
709
00:36:08,569 --> 00:36:11,438
"you see, I do have my sources--
but I love you like a sister,
710
00:36:11,471 --> 00:36:13,608
"other than that one time
in the bathroom the day we met,
711
00:36:13,641 --> 00:36:16,544
"which has never been repeated,
as we both know.
712
00:36:21,783 --> 00:36:23,250
"I never meant to hurt you
713
00:36:23,283 --> 00:36:25,419
"or insult you
or offend you in any way,
714
00:36:25,452 --> 00:36:28,255
"only to try with the few tools
I have at my disposal
715
00:36:28,288 --> 00:36:30,825
"to do my job,
which is to make it work.
716
00:36:30,858 --> 00:36:32,325
"Forgive me.
717
00:36:32,359 --> 00:36:34,227
"We open tomorrow night,
with or without you.
718
00:36:34,261 --> 00:36:36,496
"Without,
our entire devoted company
719
00:36:36,531 --> 00:36:38,833
"will suffer complete disaster
and tragic calamity,
720
00:36:38,866 --> 00:36:42,302
"as will a brilliant, fragile
genius named Conrad Earp.
721
00:36:42,335 --> 00:36:45,372
"With, you will enjoy
the triumph of your career,
722
00:36:45,405 --> 00:36:47,642
"which does not matter
in the least.
723
00:36:47,675 --> 00:36:51,344
"All that matters is
every second of life onstage
724
00:36:51,378 --> 00:36:52,914
"and our friendship.
725
00:36:52,947 --> 00:36:54,414
"Your servant, your director
726
00:36:54,448 --> 00:36:56,984
"and, if I may,
your devoted mentor,
727
00:36:57,018 --> 00:36:59,219
Schubert Green."
728
00:37:01,421 --> 00:37:03,624
(train whistle blowing)
729
00:37:05,392 --> 00:37:07,762
What's your name, understudy?
730
00:37:07,795 --> 00:37:09,396
(thunder crashes)
731
00:37:09,429 --> 00:37:11,966
HOST: They continued through
the night as far as Ohio,
732
00:37:11,999 --> 00:37:14,468
then disembarked
and caught the return flight
733
00:37:14,502 --> 00:37:17,505
arriving two hours
prior to curtain.
734
00:37:17,538 --> 00:37:20,641
The talented understudy
immediately replaced
735
00:37:20,675 --> 00:37:22,810
the original Woodrow.
736
00:37:23,845 --> 00:37:25,312
J.J.:
I strongly question
737
00:37:25,345 --> 00:37:26,614
whether your daughter's
Silly Putty
738
00:37:26,647 --> 00:37:28,381
resembles anything
from outer space.
739
00:37:28,415 --> 00:37:30,350
-It's not Silly Putty.
-I'm sorry, but I doubt it.
740
00:37:30,383 --> 00:37:31,619
It's called S'morestozium.
741
00:37:31,652 --> 00:37:33,054
-This is excellent.
-Thank you.
742
00:37:33,087 --> 00:37:34,722
It's really all
the machine's doing.
743
00:37:34,756 --> 00:37:36,891
What the devil do you know
about astrogeology anyway,
744
00:37:36,924 --> 00:37:38,492
J.J., whatever that stands for?
745
00:37:38,526 --> 00:37:39,894
I just maintain the workings.
746
00:37:39,927 --> 00:37:41,495
Shelly's thesis
is supported by...
747
00:37:41,529 --> 00:37:42,764
Flimsy, outdated evidence.
748
00:37:42,797 --> 00:37:44,565
-I beg your pardon?
-Not in my opinion.
749
00:37:44,599 --> 00:37:46,333
I liked the Silly Putty
or S'morestozium, in fact.
750
00:37:46,366 --> 00:37:47,535
I'm just quoting what he said.
751
00:37:47,568 --> 00:37:48,903
Your son's project
might very well
752
00:37:48,936 --> 00:37:50,437
have killed us all today,
by the way.
753
00:37:50,470 --> 00:37:51,839
Coming from the family
that brought us
754
00:37:51,873 --> 00:37:53,508
-the electromagnetic death ray.
-It's a weapon.
755
00:37:53,541 --> 00:37:55,543
-Of course it's lethal.
-So you admit it.
756
00:37:55,576 --> 00:37:57,512
Not to mention Brainiac's flag.
757
00:37:57,545 --> 00:37:59,346
I mean, is he trying to provoke
World War Three or something?
758
00:37:59,379 --> 00:38:00,782
The jet propulsion belt
is eminently safe.
759
00:38:00,815 --> 00:38:02,617
I'd allow an eight-year-old boy
to operate it.
760
00:38:02,650 --> 00:38:04,652
In fact, I did--
Ricky's cousin Chip--
761
00:38:04,685 --> 00:38:07,822
and he broke the solo flight
altitude record.
762
00:38:07,855 --> 00:38:09,557
They're strange, aren't they?
763
00:38:09,590 --> 00:38:11,424
Your children,
compared to normal people.
764
00:38:11,458 --> 00:38:12,894
-Yes.
-That's correct.
765
00:38:12,927 --> 00:38:14,729
-It's true.
-Hmm.
766
00:38:14,762 --> 00:38:16,597
DINAH:
After that, the second person
767
00:38:16,631 --> 00:38:18,599
says the name the first one
said, then adds another.
768
00:38:18,633 --> 00:38:20,535
Then the third person says both
plus a new name.
769
00:38:20,568 --> 00:38:22,837
And then the next person keeps
going, and so on in a circle.
770
00:38:22,870 --> 00:38:23,938
It's a memory game. Get it?
771
00:38:23,971 --> 00:38:25,405
I'll start. Cleopatra.
772
00:38:25,438 --> 00:38:27,041
Cleopatra,
Jagadish Chandra Bose.
773
00:38:27,074 --> 00:38:28,375
-Like that?
-Exactly.
774
00:38:28,408 --> 00:38:29,677
-Of course. Yes.
-SHELLY: Got it.
775
00:38:29,710 --> 00:38:32,113
Cleopatra,
Jagadish Chandra Bose,
776
00:38:32,146 --> 00:38:34,481
-Antonie van Leeuwenhoek.
-(thunder crashes)
777
00:38:34,515 --> 00:38:36,117
Cleopatra,
Jagadish Chandra Bose,
778
00:38:36,150 --> 00:38:39,486
Antonie van Leeuwenhoek,
Paracelsus.
779
00:38:39,520 --> 00:38:40,955
Cleopatra,
Jagadish Chandra Bose,
780
00:38:40,988 --> 00:38:44,725
Antonie van Leeuwenhoek,
Paracelsus, uh, Kurt Gödel.
781
00:38:44,759 --> 00:38:45,526
Oh, the Vienna Circle.
782
00:38:45,560 --> 00:38:47,929
-The Austrian logician.
-Correct.
783
00:38:48,963 --> 00:38:50,731
Cleopatra,
784
00:38:50,765 --> 00:38:52,733
Jagadish Chandra Bose,
785
00:38:52,767 --> 00:38:54,702
Antonie van Leeuwenhoek,
786
00:38:54,735 --> 00:38:56,704
Paracelsus,
787
00:38:56,737 --> 00:38:58,438
Kurt Gödel,
788
00:38:58,471 --> 00:38:59,874
-William Bragg.
-CLIFFORD: Which one?
789
00:38:59,907 --> 00:39:01,776
-RICKY: There's two.
-William Henry Bragg.
790
00:39:01,809 --> 00:39:03,945
-CLIFFORD: I prefer the son.
-SHELLY: The father's better.
791
00:39:03,978 --> 00:39:06,446
Cleopatra,
Jagadish Chandra Bose,
792
00:39:06,479 --> 00:39:08,149
-Antonie van...
-OTHERS: Leeuwenhoek.
793
00:39:08,182 --> 00:39:10,952
Paracelsus, Kurt Gödel,
794
00:39:10,985 --> 00:39:12,385
William Henry Bragg.
795
00:39:12,419 --> 00:39:14,454
-And the new one.
-Lord Kelvin.
796
00:39:14,487 --> 00:39:16,489
Cleopatra,
Jagadish Chandra Bose,
797
00:39:16,524 --> 00:39:18,659
Antonie van Leeuwenhoek,
Paracelsus, Kurt Gödel,
798
00:39:18,693 --> 00:39:21,596
William Henry Bragg,
Lord Kelvin...
799
00:39:21,629 --> 00:39:23,564
Midge Campbell. Can I say her?
800
00:39:23,598 --> 00:39:25,633
As long as she's a real person,
you can say anybody you like.
801
00:39:25,666 --> 00:39:27,168
CLIFFORD: Cleopatra,
Jagadish Chandra Bose...
802
00:39:27,201 --> 00:39:28,836
-Including my mother.
-SHELLY: She's my idol.
803
00:39:28,870 --> 00:39:31,005
My turn. Jagadish Chandra Bose,
Antonie van Leeuwenhoek,
804
00:39:31,038 --> 00:39:33,641
Paracelsus, Kurt Gödel,
William Bragg, the father,
805
00:39:33,674 --> 00:39:35,176
Lord Kelvin,
the mathematical physicist,
806
00:39:35,209 --> 00:39:37,477
Midge Campbell, your mother,
807
00:39:37,511 --> 00:39:39,747
Konstantin Tsiolkovsky,
the rocket scientist.
808
00:39:39,780 --> 00:39:41,782
I don't know
if this game works with us.
809
00:39:41,816 --> 00:39:43,117
Uh, brainiacs, I mean.
810
00:39:43,150 --> 00:39:44,484
I-I think
it might go on forever.
811
00:39:44,518 --> 00:39:45,620
SHELLY:
I don't mind.
812
00:39:45,653 --> 00:39:47,021
In my school, nobody'd play
813
00:39:47,054 --> 00:39:48,756
this game with me
in a million years.
814
00:39:48,789 --> 00:39:50,457
Plus, the names
would be too obvious.
815
00:39:50,490 --> 00:39:51,759
I know my next one: Diophantus.
816
00:39:51,792 --> 00:39:53,194
Wait until it's time to say it.
817
00:39:53,227 --> 00:39:55,428
Try it backwards, Brainiac.
818
00:39:55,462 --> 00:39:57,430
Say the new one first.
819
00:39:59,066 --> 00:40:01,569
Hojo Tokiyuki,
820
00:40:01,602 --> 00:40:03,638
Konstantin Tsiolkovsky,
821
00:40:03,671 --> 00:40:05,673
Midge Campbell, Lord Kelvin,
822
00:40:05,706 --> 00:40:08,209
William Henry Bragg, Kurt Gödel,
823
00:40:08,242 --> 00:40:10,645
Paracelsus,
Antonie van Leeuwenhoek,
824
00:40:10,678 --> 00:40:12,914
Jagadish Chandra Bose...
825
00:40:14,682 --> 00:40:16,617
Cleopatra.
826
00:40:18,819 --> 00:40:20,888
(insects chirping)
827
00:40:24,859 --> 00:40:26,894
(thunder crashes)
828
00:40:30,097 --> 00:40:33,034
Put out that cigarette, Dwight.
829
00:40:33,067 --> 00:40:34,568
Oh, hold on. Hold on.
830
00:40:34,602 --> 00:40:36,671
You men should be ashamed
of yourselves. Are you?
831
00:40:36,704 --> 00:40:38,205
Yes, ma'am,
but we didn't give him that.
832
00:40:38,239 --> 00:40:39,607
-Didn't you?
-That cigarette.
833
00:40:39,640 --> 00:40:41,075
He just must have got it
his own self
834
00:40:41,108 --> 00:40:42,944
-from the cigarette machine.
-Dwight!
835
00:40:42,977 --> 00:40:44,979
(animal howling in distance)
836
00:40:46,714 --> 00:40:48,215
I almost believe you.
837
00:40:48,249 --> 00:40:50,051
Let's go.
838
00:40:52,086 --> 00:40:54,155
-So long, Dwight.
-So long, Dwight.
839
00:40:54,188 --> 00:40:56,857
(playing upbeat tune)
840
00:41:12,707 --> 00:41:14,809
MIDGE:
Was I ever there?
841
00:41:15,609 --> 00:41:17,611
Was I ever there?
842
00:41:18,312 --> 00:41:21,481
Was I... ever there?
843
00:41:25,653 --> 00:41:27,254
Memorizing my lines.
844
00:41:27,288 --> 00:41:29,290
Uh-huh.
845
00:41:33,160 --> 00:41:34,795
Approved.
846
00:41:39,300 --> 00:41:42,069
("Cowboy's Lament" by Burl Ives
playing)
847
00:41:43,304 --> 00:41:47,942
♪ As I walked out in
the streets of Laredo ♪
848
00:41:47,975 --> 00:41:52,646
♪ As I walked out
in Laredo one day ♪
849
00:41:52,680 --> 00:41:54,782
♪ I spied a young cowboy... ♪
850
00:41:54,815 --> 00:41:57,651
I do a nude scene.
You want to see it?
851
00:41:59,120 --> 00:42:01,756
-Huh? Did I say yes?
-You didn't say anything.
852
00:42:01,789 --> 00:42:03,891
Uh, I meant yes. My mouth...
my mouth didn't speak.
853
00:42:03,924 --> 00:42:04,925
It's a monologue.
854
00:42:04,959 --> 00:42:07,228
Pretend it starts
when I step out of the shower.
855
00:42:07,261 --> 00:42:09,563
♪ That you are a cowboy ♪
856
00:42:09,597 --> 00:42:11,132
♪ These words he did say ♪
857
00:42:11,165 --> 00:42:14,335
-(knob squeaks, water runs)
-♪ As I boldly walked by ♪
858
00:42:14,368 --> 00:42:18,973
♪ Come sit down beside me
and hear my sad story ♪
859
00:42:19,006 --> 00:42:23,911
♪ I'm shot in the breast
and I know I must die... ♪
860
00:42:25,980 --> 00:42:28,182
When you first picked me out
of the secretarial pool,
861
00:42:28,215 --> 00:42:30,718
I had $111 in my bank account.
862
00:42:30,751 --> 00:42:32,586
I lived alone
with a cat and a parakeet
863
00:42:32,620 --> 00:42:33,954
in a one-room dishwater flat.
864
00:42:33,988 --> 00:42:36,190
I sold the DeSoto
to lend you the down payment
865
00:42:36,223 --> 00:42:37,858
for my engagement ring.
866
00:42:37,892 --> 00:42:39,060
It was spring.
867
00:42:39,093 --> 00:42:40,694
I'm not sore.
868
00:42:40,728 --> 00:42:42,930
I know you're a good man.
869
00:42:42,963 --> 00:42:44,198
I'm not sorry.
870
00:42:44,231 --> 00:42:46,333
I never deceived you.
871
00:42:46,367 --> 00:42:48,936
Remember me as a blur
in the rearview mirror.
872
00:42:48,969 --> 00:42:50,671
Was I ever there?
873
00:42:50,704 --> 00:42:52,773
Did you actually see me?
874
00:42:54,241 --> 00:42:56,744
I can't even see myself anymore.
875
00:42:58,979 --> 00:43:01,182
But here I am.
876
00:43:04,785 --> 00:43:07,021
Let's get divorced.
877
00:43:09,824 --> 00:43:11,292
It'll be done tastefully,
of course.
878
00:43:11,325 --> 00:43:14,195
We cut to the back of my legs
when the towel falls down.
879
00:43:14,228 --> 00:43:16,664
(Augie mumbling)
880
00:43:16,697 --> 00:43:18,632
Sometimes they sometimes
do a stunt double.
881
00:43:18,666 --> 00:43:20,634
MIDGE:
Sometimes.
882
00:43:20,668 --> 00:43:22,703
I don't know if I like beards,
by the way.
883
00:43:22,736 --> 00:43:24,105
AUGIE:
Oh.
884
00:43:24,138 --> 00:43:25,706
Can I take another picture?
885
00:43:25,739 --> 00:43:27,675
Not for publication.
886
00:43:28,342 --> 00:43:30,077
I thought
you never ask permission.
887
00:43:34,148 --> 00:43:36,016
Don't move.
888
00:43:37,151 --> 00:43:39,186
(camera clicks)
889
00:43:44,158 --> 00:43:46,127
I prefer to play abused,
tragic alcoholics,
890
00:43:46,160 --> 00:43:48,195
and one day, I'll probably
be discovered lifeless
891
00:43:48,229 --> 00:43:50,131
in an overflowing bathtub
with an empty bottle
892
00:43:50,164 --> 00:43:53,000
of sleeping pills spilled
all over the floor, but...
893
00:43:53,033 --> 00:43:57,304
the sad thing is I'm actually
a very gifted comedienne.
894
00:43:57,338 --> 00:43:59,406
-That's true.
-Are you married?
895
00:43:59,440 --> 00:44:02,243
I'm a widower,
but don't tell my kids.
896
00:44:02,276 --> 00:44:03,878
-Why not?
-I-I...
897
00:44:03,911 --> 00:44:05,846
-I mean, I wasn't going to.
-All right. Okay.
898
00:44:05,880 --> 00:44:07,748
-Yeah. (mumbles)
-Oh. I'm sorry.
899
00:44:07,781 --> 00:44:11,886
Thank you. They do know,
by the way, but just barely.
900
00:44:17,124 --> 00:44:19,160
(footsteps approaching)
901
00:44:20,194 --> 00:44:21,428
What do you swap for
902
00:44:21,462 --> 00:44:23,397
out of this particular jukebox,
mister?
903
00:44:23,430 --> 00:44:25,166
Of course. I understand.
904
00:44:25,199 --> 00:44:26,834
This machine sells land.
905
00:44:26,867 --> 00:44:28,302
-Land, you say?
-Yes, indeed.
906
00:44:28,335 --> 00:44:30,304
The properties just beyond
these cottages, in fact.
907
00:44:30,337 --> 00:44:31,939
Out of this here
soda pop machine?
908
00:44:31,972 --> 00:44:33,007
Yes, indeed.
909
00:44:35,009 --> 00:44:37,077
Well, now, I ain't calling you
a liar to your face,
910
00:44:37,111 --> 00:44:39,113
but that sounds to me like
some kind of toadswindle.
911
00:44:39,146 --> 00:44:41,048
Of course. I understand.
It's not a toadswindle.
912
00:44:41,081 --> 00:44:42,783
You put in the money,
you receive
913
00:44:42,816 --> 00:44:44,351
a notarized deed to the land.
914
00:44:44,385 --> 00:44:45,953
How big a spread?
915
00:44:45,986 --> 00:44:47,421
For ten dollars in quarters,
916
00:44:47,454 --> 00:44:50,090
approximately half
a tennis court.
917
00:44:56,430 --> 00:44:59,433
Put the potion in it.
918
00:44:59,466 --> 00:45:01,969
Friskity, triskity,
briskity, boo.
919
00:45:02,002 --> 00:45:05,039
Knickerty, knockerty,
tockerty, too.
920
00:45:06,106 --> 00:45:11,345
And with this spell,
Mama comes back alive!
921
00:45:11,378 --> 00:45:14,114
God save these bones.
922
00:45:14,148 --> 00:45:15,382
(car door opens)
923
00:45:16,717 --> 00:45:19,987
("Freight Train" by The Charles
McDevitt Skiffle Group playing)
924
00:45:20,821 --> 00:45:22,823
What's in the Tupperware?
925
00:45:22,856 --> 00:45:24,425
♪ Freight train, freight train ♪
926
00:45:24,458 --> 00:45:27,361
♪ Going so fast... ♪
927
00:45:27,394 --> 00:45:29,964
He finally told you.
928
00:45:30,898 --> 00:45:33,501
♪ I don't know
what train he's on ♪
929
00:45:33,535 --> 00:45:37,905
♪ Won't you tell me
where's he gone... ♪
930
00:45:41,275 --> 00:45:43,110
Who's this old man?
931
00:45:43,143 --> 00:45:44,778
Poppy, I think.
932
00:45:44,812 --> 00:45:46,347
You don't remember me.
933
00:45:46,380 --> 00:45:48,382
I remember his smell.
934
00:45:48,415 --> 00:45:50,751
(sniffs)
935
00:45:55,856 --> 00:45:57,858
We're not going to abandon
my daughter
936
00:45:57,891 --> 00:45:59,827
at a motel
in the middle of the desert
937
00:45:59,860 --> 00:46:02,930
buried next to
the communal showers.
938
00:46:04,131 --> 00:46:06,133
-You're ruining the funeral!
-He's making her go to hell!
939
00:46:06,166 --> 00:46:09,803
If you torture us,
we'll sacrifice you.
940
00:46:09,837 --> 00:46:11,372
I understand.
941
00:46:11,405 --> 00:46:14,875
Thank you for your clarity.
942
00:46:14,908 --> 00:46:17,077
I'll tell you what--
let's leave her
943
00:46:17,111 --> 00:46:19,013
alone in the ground
until tomorrow morning.
944
00:46:19,046 --> 00:46:20,548
Then we'll exhume
the Tupperware,
945
00:46:20,582 --> 00:46:22,349
bring her with us
in the Cadillac
946
00:46:22,383 --> 00:46:24,885
and bury her again this weekend
in the backyard
947
00:46:24,918 --> 00:46:26,387
next to the seventh hole
at Rancho Palms,
948
00:46:26,420 --> 00:46:28,556
where I live in a beautiful
house with a swimming pool.
949
00:46:28,590 --> 00:46:30,157
Agreed?
950
00:46:30,190 --> 00:46:32,059
-Mm-hmm.
-Okay.
951
00:46:33,260 --> 00:46:35,195
Let's hope a coyote doesn't
dig her up in the meantime.
952
00:46:35,229 --> 00:46:37,097
Nothing we can do about it
anyway.
953
00:46:37,131 --> 00:46:38,566
(firecrackers crackle and pop)
954
00:46:38,600 --> 00:46:41,068
Ooh. Look at that.
955
00:46:49,943 --> 00:46:52,112
(insects chirping)
956
00:46:52,146 --> 00:46:54,181
(owl hooting)
957
00:46:56,216 --> 00:46:58,118
Tonight, you're in
for a real treat.
958
00:46:58,152 --> 00:47:00,054
I don't know how many of you
ever observed
959
00:47:00,087 --> 00:47:01,922
an astronomical ellipses before.
960
00:47:01,955 --> 00:47:04,825
In fact, can we get
a show of hands?
961
00:47:05,527 --> 00:47:07,127
Nobody?
962
00:47:07,161 --> 00:47:09,063
Wow. Okay.
963
00:47:09,096 --> 00:47:12,933
Well, what you're gonna see
is a very simple dot-dot-dot:
964
00:47:12,966 --> 00:47:15,336
three pinpoints of light
inside your refracting box,
965
00:47:15,369 --> 00:47:17,871
which may not sound
very exciting at first,
966
00:47:17,905 --> 00:47:19,340
until you consider
how those dots
967
00:47:19,373 --> 00:47:20,608
managed to transmit themselves
968
00:47:20,642 --> 00:47:22,610
across a thousand billion miles
of space
969
00:47:22,644 --> 00:47:25,613
onto that little scrap
of black cardboard.
970
00:47:25,647 --> 00:47:27,481
Twice every 57 years,
971
00:47:27,515 --> 00:47:29,216
when the Earth,
the sun, the moon
972
00:47:29,249 --> 00:47:31,085
and the galactic plane
of the Milky Way
973
00:47:31,118 --> 00:47:33,987
all combobulate along the same
angle of orbital interest,
974
00:47:34,021 --> 00:47:37,291
the radiant energy of three
neighboring stellar systems
975
00:47:37,324 --> 00:47:39,259
induces a parallel
ecliptic transit,
976
00:47:39,293 --> 00:47:41,061
thus all but proving
977
00:47:41,095 --> 00:47:43,297
the hypothesis
of celestial flirtation.
978
00:47:43,330 --> 00:47:46,367
The hitch, of course,
is that the math doesn't work.
979
00:47:46,400 --> 00:47:48,068
But maybe one of you one day
980
00:47:48,102 --> 00:47:50,204
will be the genius
who solves that problem.
981
00:47:50,237 --> 00:47:53,273
The event will begin
in 30 seconds.
982
00:47:53,307 --> 00:47:55,376
Remember, if you look directly
at the ellipses
983
00:47:55,409 --> 00:47:57,111
rather than through
your refracting box,
984
00:47:57,144 --> 00:47:58,979
not only will you
not actually see the effect
985
00:47:59,012 --> 00:48:00,381
but you will burn the dots
986
00:48:00,414 --> 00:48:02,349
straight into your retina,
probably permanently.
987
00:48:02,383 --> 00:48:04,985
I know that for a fact, because
they're still burned into mine
988
00:48:05,018 --> 00:48:06,954
from when I was 11 going on 12.
989
00:48:06,987 --> 00:48:09,423
That's when I realized
I wanted to be an astronomer,
990
00:48:09,456 --> 00:48:10,592
which is another story.
991
00:48:10,625 --> 00:48:11,659
Here we go.
992
00:48:11,693 --> 00:48:14,128
♪ ♪
993
00:48:32,413 --> 00:48:34,448
♪ ♪
994
00:48:38,185 --> 00:48:39,621
WOODROW:
There it is.
995
00:48:39,654 --> 00:48:41,288
(all oohing)
996
00:48:41,321 --> 00:48:43,090
DR. HICKENLOOPER:
Uh, these are just such
997
00:48:43,123 --> 00:48:45,025
marvelously luminous colors,
aren't they?
998
00:48:45,058 --> 00:48:47,227
Very exciting.
Does everybody see it?
999
00:48:47,261 --> 00:48:49,930
BILLY:
I don't. I just see a staple.
1000
00:48:53,668 --> 00:48:55,936
Yipe! It works.
1001
00:48:56,571 --> 00:48:58,105
MIDGE:
Are you Shelly?
1002
00:48:58,138 --> 00:48:59,306
SHELLY:
Yeah.
1003
00:48:59,339 --> 00:49:01,709
MIDGE:
I'm your idol. What's your rank?
1004
00:49:01,743 --> 00:49:03,977
Commanding secretary.
1005
00:49:04,011 --> 00:49:05,547
I was a Cookie Trooper myself.
1006
00:49:05,580 --> 00:49:07,080
Really? Wow.
1007
00:49:07,114 --> 00:49:09,483
What'll they say in Squad 75?
1008
00:49:13,287 --> 00:49:14,955
WOODROW:
Hmm?
1009
00:49:16,490 --> 00:49:18,526
♪ ♪
1010
00:49:45,520 --> 00:49:47,589
♪ ♪
1011
00:50:07,809 --> 00:50:09,577
♪ ♪
1012
00:50:26,260 --> 00:50:28,295
♪ ♪
1013
00:50:52,854 --> 00:50:55,255
(low humming)
1014
00:50:56,624 --> 00:50:59,059
♪ ♪
1015
00:51:09,637 --> 00:51:11,673
♪ ♪
1016
00:51:20,682 --> 00:51:22,482
(camera clicks)
1017
00:51:29,456 --> 00:51:31,491
(clears throat)
1018
00:51:51,846 --> 00:51:54,247
♪ ♪
1019
00:51:56,416 --> 00:52:00,487
The, uh, alien
stole the asteroid.
1020
00:52:02,924 --> 00:52:05,359
♪ ♪
1021
00:52:12,767 --> 00:52:14,535
(bell rings)
1022
00:52:14,569 --> 00:52:18,305
HOST: Schubert Green,
born Shylock Grzworvszowski.
1023
00:52:18,338 --> 00:52:19,907
Director, immigrant.
1024
00:52:19,941 --> 00:52:24,277
Known for his limitless energy,
his voracious enthusiasms--
1025
00:52:24,311 --> 00:52:26,547
a well-known actress
described him sexually
1026
00:52:26,581 --> 00:52:29,416
as an animal,
specifically a rabbit--
1027
00:52:29,449 --> 00:52:32,920
and his long, deep
and intimate relationship
1028
00:52:32,954 --> 00:52:35,255
with success.
1029
00:52:35,288 --> 00:52:37,391
What do you think, Lunky?
1030
00:52:37,424 --> 00:52:39,426
Good.
1031
00:52:39,459 --> 00:52:42,697
("Rose Marie" by Slim Whitman
playing)
1032
00:52:44,297 --> 00:52:46,400
I'm not going to ask
what the hell's going on here.
1033
00:52:46,433 --> 00:52:49,570
His wife Polly left him
for an all-star second baseman
1034
00:52:49,604 --> 00:52:52,305
during the first week
of rehearsals.
1035
00:52:52,339 --> 00:52:54,274
My living quarters.
1036
00:52:54,307 --> 00:52:56,276
♪ Oh, Rose ♪
1037
00:52:56,309 --> 00:52:58,646
♪ My Rose Marie... ♪
1038
00:52:58,680 --> 00:52:59,947
Sign this.
1039
00:52:59,981 --> 00:53:02,182
Oh, no.
1040
00:53:03,383 --> 00:53:06,219
(sighs)
It's Clark's report card.
1041
00:53:06,253 --> 00:53:08,355
Uh-huh. What'd you think it was?
1042
00:53:08,388 --> 00:53:10,692
I thought maybe
we were already divorced.
1043
00:53:10,725 --> 00:53:11,893
Oh.
1044
00:53:11,926 --> 00:53:14,294
Not yet, but eventually.
1045
00:53:14,327 --> 00:53:16,898
He made the honor roll again.
1046
00:53:16,931 --> 00:53:21,234
♪ Oh, Rose Marie ♪
1047
00:53:21,268 --> 00:53:24,505
♪ I love you ♪
1048
00:53:24,539 --> 00:53:27,842
♪ I'm always dreaming... ♪
1049
00:53:27,875 --> 00:53:30,310
(making rapid thumping sounds)
1050
00:53:30,343 --> 00:53:32,345
I'm staying at
Diego's penthouse.
1051
00:53:32,379 --> 00:53:34,916
Clark's at my mother's.
The apartment's empty.
1052
00:53:34,949 --> 00:53:36,651
Why don't you just go home?
1053
00:53:36,684 --> 00:53:39,520
I don't think I should be alone
in a building with real windows.
1054
00:53:39,554 --> 00:53:41,254
-(electrical crackling)
-(music stops)
1055
00:53:41,288 --> 00:53:42,924
-(power whirring)
-(music resumes)
1056
00:53:42,957 --> 00:53:44,959
Makeup cuts my hair
and shaves me.
1057
00:53:44,992 --> 00:53:47,360
Costumes washes my dungarees.
1058
00:53:47,394 --> 00:53:50,732
This is where I belong, for now.
1059
00:53:50,765 --> 00:53:52,332
Much better.
1060
00:53:52,365 --> 00:53:54,502
-Did you do the green?
-Hmm.
1061
00:53:57,672 --> 00:54:00,007
It's been a great ten years,
Schubert.
1062
00:54:00,041 --> 00:54:02,342
I don't regret a second of it.
1063
00:54:02,375 --> 00:54:04,746
Clark still loves you.
1064
00:54:04,779 --> 00:54:06,848
I still love you.
1065
00:54:06,881 --> 00:54:08,649
But not like before?
1066
00:54:09,684 --> 00:54:11,753
But not like before.
1067
00:54:17,357 --> 00:54:19,761
(door opens and closes)
1068
00:54:19,794 --> 00:54:21,896
HOST: Schubert Green lived
in the scenic bay
1069
00:54:21,929 --> 00:54:23,430
of the Tarkington Theater
1070
00:54:23,463 --> 00:54:27,334
for all 785 performances
of Asteroid City.
1071
00:54:27,367 --> 00:54:28,770
Dark nights, he stayed
1072
00:54:28,803 --> 00:54:31,506
in the Governor's Suite
of the Nebraska Hotel.
1073
00:54:31,539 --> 00:54:33,508
-(door opens)
-POLLY: One last note.
1074
00:54:33,541 --> 00:54:36,677
When Midge makes her exit
in Act Three, Scene Five,
1075
00:54:36,711 --> 00:54:39,981
try having her say the line
after she closes the door.
1076
00:54:40,014 --> 00:54:43,618
Hmm. Maybe we are doomed.
1077
00:54:43,651 --> 00:54:44,986
I will.
1078
00:54:45,019 --> 00:54:50,423
♪ My Rose Marie. ♪
1079
00:54:50,457 --> 00:54:51,993
POLLY:
Goodbye.
1080
00:54:52,026 --> 00:54:54,427
(footsteps departing)
1081
00:54:57,698 --> 00:54:59,767
(song fades)
1082
00:55:06,674 --> 00:55:08,709
(birds calling)
1083
00:55:09,544 --> 00:55:11,411
(indistinct announcements)
1084
00:55:11,444 --> 00:55:13,548
-(siren blaring)
-(aircraft passing overhead)
1085
00:55:15,382 --> 00:55:17,552
(indistinct chatter)
1086
00:55:31,464 --> 00:55:34,702
-(soft beeping)
-(whistling, humming)
1087
00:55:38,139 --> 00:55:40,373
Here he comes.
1088
00:55:41,042 --> 00:55:43,376
I've just informed
the president.
1089
00:55:43,410 --> 00:55:45,478
He authorized me to read
and implement the provisions
1090
00:55:45,513 --> 00:55:47,715
of National Security
Emergency Scrimmage Plan X.
1091
00:55:47,748 --> 00:55:49,416
Here I go.
1092
00:55:49,449 --> 00:55:50,852
"The following
top secret directive
1093
00:55:50,885 --> 00:55:54,155
was mandated into law
on July 1, 1950."
1094
00:55:54,188 --> 00:55:55,857
"In the event
of unforeseen engagement
1095
00:55:55,890 --> 00:55:58,159
"with intelligent life-form
or forms from any planet
1096
00:55:58,192 --> 00:56:00,127
"not specifically defined
as our Earth,
1097
00:56:00,161 --> 00:56:02,462
"be advised to initiate
the following protocols:
1098
00:56:02,495 --> 00:56:04,464
"One, confirm said life-form
1099
00:56:04,497 --> 00:56:05,967
"is not operating
under the guidance
1100
00:56:06,000 --> 00:56:07,702
of any hostile foreign
terrestrial government."
1101
00:56:07,735 --> 00:56:09,469
No, I don't think
he's working for the Russians
1102
00:56:09,503 --> 00:56:10,872
or the Red Chinese,
but you never know.
1103
00:56:10,905 --> 00:56:12,707
He certainly didn't give me
that impression.
1104
00:56:12,740 --> 00:56:15,408
"Two, confirm the life-form
does not intend to annex,
1105
00:56:15,442 --> 00:56:17,712
"colonize, vaporize
or expropriate the resources
1106
00:56:17,745 --> 00:56:20,413
of the sovereign territories of
the United States of America."
1107
00:56:20,447 --> 00:56:22,583
I doubt it.
He took the asteroid and went.
1108
00:56:22,617 --> 00:56:24,652
"Three, identify and detain
all possible witnesses
1109
00:56:24,685 --> 00:56:26,153
"and place them
under group arrest
1110
00:56:26,187 --> 00:56:27,755
"for a period
of no less than one week--
1111
00:56:27,788 --> 00:56:29,190
"defined as
seven calendar days--
1112
00:56:29,223 --> 00:56:30,791
"during which time
they be subjected
1113
00:56:30,825 --> 00:56:32,727
"to a prescribed battery
of medical and psychological
1114
00:56:32,760 --> 00:56:34,629
examinations
and cross-examinations."
1115
00:56:34,662 --> 00:56:36,631
Standard procedure.
Already in the works.
1116
00:56:36,664 --> 00:56:38,099
"Four, secure the site,
1117
00:56:38,132 --> 00:56:39,667
"cease the dissemination
of information,
1118
00:56:39,700 --> 00:56:41,502
"collect and transport
the totality of evidence
1119
00:56:41,535 --> 00:56:42,770
"to a hermetically enclosed,
1120
00:56:42,803 --> 00:56:44,205
"deep-underground
secret storage facility
1121
00:56:44,238 --> 00:56:46,040
"and publicly deny
all aspects of the event,
1122
00:56:46,073 --> 00:56:48,175
"including its existence,
for a period of no less than
1123
00:56:48,209 --> 00:56:51,045
100 years--
defined as 36,500 days."
1124
00:56:51,078 --> 00:56:52,713
End of directive.
1125
00:56:52,747 --> 00:56:54,181
-That's pretty clear.
-Huh.
1126
00:56:54,215 --> 00:56:55,583
-What do we tell them?
-Who?
1127
00:56:55,616 --> 00:56:56,784
The Junior Stargazers,
1128
00:56:56,817 --> 00:56:58,185
the Space Cadets,
the moms and dads.
1129
00:56:58,219 --> 00:57:00,588
-Midge Campbell.
-OTHERS: Midge Campbell.
1130
00:57:00,621 --> 00:57:02,189
Tell them it didn't happen?
1131
00:57:02,223 --> 00:57:03,824
(light laughter)
1132
00:57:03,858 --> 00:57:06,127
No, obviously,
we'll have to formulate
1133
00:57:06,160 --> 00:57:08,829
a suitable cover story.
1134
00:57:09,830 --> 00:57:11,132
(device clicking)
1135
00:57:11,165 --> 00:57:13,067
CLIFFORD:
You dare me?
1136
00:57:13,100 --> 00:57:14,702
(machines beeping and whooshing)
1137
00:57:14,735 --> 00:57:17,470
-Dare you what?
-To press that button.
1138
00:57:18,572 --> 00:57:20,708
I will break your neck.
1139
00:57:20,741 --> 00:57:22,209
SHELLY:
That's an alien eating an apple.
1140
00:57:22,243 --> 00:57:23,611
That's an alien
doing jumping jacks.
1141
00:57:23,644 --> 00:57:24,812
That's an alien in a top hat.
1142
00:57:24,845 --> 00:57:26,647
That's an alien
climbing a ladder.
1143
00:57:26,681 --> 00:57:27,882
That's an alien on a racehorse.
That's an alien...
1144
00:57:27,915 --> 00:57:29,684
DETECTIVE:
Let's take it from the top.
1145
00:57:29,717 --> 00:57:32,520
I told you 50 times, the alien
picked up the asteroid...
1146
00:57:32,553 --> 00:57:33,988
-Alleged alien.
-I know what I saw!
1147
00:57:34,021 --> 00:57:35,690
-It's called a meteorite.
-An extraterrestrial being.
1148
00:57:35,723 --> 00:57:37,490
This is a microfiche
of your school newspaper.
1149
00:57:37,525 --> 00:57:39,126
Your byline accompanies
an article criticizing
1150
00:57:39,160 --> 00:57:40,995
the principal's
disciplinary methods.
1151
00:57:41,028 --> 00:57:43,564
-Who were your sources?
-I was in the sixth grade.
1152
00:57:43,597 --> 00:57:45,633
-Just answer the question.
-And I will not name names!
1153
00:57:45,666 --> 00:57:47,635
(clacking, electrical buzzing)
1154
00:57:47,668 --> 00:57:49,837
-(whirring)
-(running footsteps)
1155
00:57:49,870 --> 00:57:51,605
-You dared me!
-What did I say?
1156
00:57:51,639 --> 00:57:53,574
-What did I say?
-You dared me!
1157
00:57:53,607 --> 00:57:56,811
("Indian Love Call"
by Slim Whitman playing)
1158
00:57:59,613 --> 00:58:02,083
(exhales sharply)
1159
00:58:02,116 --> 00:58:04,685
All right. Um...
1160
00:58:04,719 --> 00:58:08,055
♪ When I'm calling you... ♪
1161
00:58:08,089 --> 00:58:09,657
I'm going to attempt to proceed
1162
00:58:09,690 --> 00:58:11,759
with the lesson plan
I originally prepared.
1163
00:58:11,792 --> 00:58:13,894
Just to keep orderliness
under the circumstances.
1164
00:58:13,928 --> 00:58:15,262
I expect that some...
1165
00:58:15,296 --> 00:58:16,864
some of our information
about outer space
1166
00:58:16,897 --> 00:58:18,632
may no longer be
completely accurate,
1167
00:58:18,666 --> 00:58:21,035
but, anyway, there are still
only nine planets
1168
00:58:21,068 --> 00:58:23,237
in the solar system,
as far as we know. Billy?
1169
00:58:23,270 --> 00:58:25,506
Except now there's a alien.
1170
00:58:26,173 --> 00:58:28,242
True, by all appearances.
1171
00:58:28,275 --> 00:58:29,744
Nevertheless, Neptune:
1172
00:58:29,777 --> 00:58:31,612
Fourth largest planet
by diameter,
1173
00:58:31,645 --> 00:58:34,215
Neptune orbits the sun
only once every 165 years.
1174
00:58:34,248 --> 00:58:35,316
Bernice?
1175
00:58:35,349 --> 00:58:38,085
Maybe the alien went there.
1176
00:58:38,119 --> 00:58:40,121
Well, maybe.
1177
00:58:40,154 --> 00:58:41,822
I don't think anybody knows
1178
00:58:41,856 --> 00:58:44,025
where the alien went
or came from.
1179
00:58:44,058 --> 00:58:45,659
Yes, Dwight?
1180
00:58:45,693 --> 00:58:47,161
At first, I thought the alien
was kind of sneaky,
1181
00:58:47,194 --> 00:58:49,797
but now I think he was probably
nervous to go to Earth.
1182
00:58:49,830 --> 00:58:51,766
He's never been here before,
I bet you.
1183
00:58:51,799 --> 00:58:53,167
Then why'd he steal
our asteroid, then,
1184
00:58:53,200 --> 00:58:54,635
if he's such a gentleman?
1185
00:58:54,668 --> 00:58:56,604
These are all
reasonable questions,
1186
00:58:56,637 --> 00:58:58,672
but at this time,
let's stick to Neptune
1187
00:58:58,706 --> 00:59:00,775
because I haven't had time
to prepare any lesson plan
1188
00:59:00,808 --> 00:59:02,209
on this subject
we're talking about.
1189
00:59:02,243 --> 00:59:03,644
The alien.
1190
00:59:03,677 --> 00:59:05,579
The alien, yes.
1191
00:59:06,714 --> 00:59:09,183
And, by the way, I don't mean
to evade your questions.
1192
00:59:09,216 --> 00:59:11,052
I want to emphasize
that you're safe.
1193
00:59:11,085 --> 00:59:12,787
We all are, here on Earth.
1194
00:59:12,820 --> 00:59:15,356
Your parents have been notified
of at least something.
1195
00:59:15,389 --> 00:59:18,192
-America remains at peace.
-(footsteps approaching)
1196
00:59:18,225 --> 00:59:20,161
Yes, Montana?
1197
00:59:20,194 --> 00:59:23,330
I'd like to parley a notion
myself, if I could, June.
1198
00:59:23,364 --> 00:59:25,766
Um...
1199
00:59:25,800 --> 00:59:27,568
Okay.
1200
00:59:30,704 --> 00:59:32,640
(sighs softly)
1201
00:59:32,673 --> 00:59:34,341
I figure this here alien
come from a tribe
1202
00:59:34,375 --> 00:59:36,277
we don't know
nothing 'bout, do we?
1203
00:59:36,310 --> 00:59:39,080
Anything we say'd
just be pure speculation.
1204
00:59:39,113 --> 00:59:41,015
But I tell you what I reckon.
1205
00:59:41,048 --> 00:59:44,652
I reckon that alien
don't mean no harm at all.
1206
00:59:44,685 --> 00:59:46,187
I reckon he just
took hisself down here
1207
00:59:46,220 --> 00:59:49,223
to have a look-see at the land
and the peoples on it.
1208
00:59:49,256 --> 00:59:51,725
In the spirit of exploration.
1209
00:59:51,759 --> 00:59:55,096
See, I don't look on a feller
alien all suspicious-like.
1210
00:59:55,129 --> 00:59:56,964
No, he ain't American.
1211
00:59:56,997 --> 00:59:59,233
No, he ain't a creature
of God's green Earth.
1212
00:59:59,266 --> 01:00:03,637
But he's a creature
of somewheres, and so are we.
1213
01:00:03,671 --> 01:00:07,007
Now, let's show the old feller
some hospitality,
1214
01:00:07,041 --> 01:00:09,310
and if he turns out
to be a dirty dog--
1215
01:00:09,343 --> 01:00:11,045
which I reckon he ain't--
1216
01:00:11,078 --> 01:00:13,380
well, that'll be a job for
the United States armed forces,
1217
01:00:13,414 --> 01:00:15,749
and they ain't never
lost a war yet.
1218
01:00:18,018 --> 01:00:19,854
Thanky-do.
1219
01:00:21,355 --> 01:00:23,357
I agree with Montana.
1220
01:00:23,390 --> 01:00:26,093
Now, Neptune.
1221
01:00:28,195 --> 01:00:29,997
(whirring softly)
1222
01:00:30,030 --> 01:00:32,800
♪ Tell me, where do they go? ♪
1223
01:00:32,833 --> 01:00:34,802
("Smoke Rings" by Les Paul
and Mary Ford playing softly)
1224
01:00:34,835 --> 01:00:36,337
♪ The smoke rings... ♪
1225
01:00:36,370 --> 01:00:38,072
Which way did he go?
1226
01:00:38,105 --> 01:00:41,675
Hmm. Well, I think
he went from here
1227
01:00:41,709 --> 01:00:45,146
to here to here to...
1228
01:00:45,179 --> 01:00:46,413
I don't know where.
1229
01:00:46,447 --> 01:00:48,315
My mother couldn't remember
which was which,
1230
01:00:48,349 --> 01:00:50,084
so she made up
her own constellations.
1231
01:00:50,117 --> 01:00:52,920
That one's the Coat Hanger.
That one's the Leaky Faucet.
1232
01:00:52,953 --> 01:00:54,922
Over there's
Fried Egg with Spatula.
1233
01:00:54,955 --> 01:00:57,358
My mother is a constellation,
or-or at least part of one.
1234
01:00:57,391 --> 01:00:59,894
A Swiss scientist named
a hypothetical star after her.
1235
01:00:59,927 --> 01:01:01,195
Really? What's it called?
1236
01:01:01,228 --> 01:01:02,763
Midge Campbell X-9 Major.
1237
01:01:02,796 --> 01:01:04,265
Midge Campbell X-9...
I'm gonna look it up.
1238
01:01:04,298 --> 01:01:06,767
WOODROW: Is she interested
in astronomy-- your mother?
1239
01:01:06,800 --> 01:01:08,869
Not exactly.
She's interested in stardom.
1240
01:01:08,903 --> 01:01:10,471
I don't mean that
as a criticism, by the way.
1241
01:01:10,505 --> 01:01:12,139
It's her job to be famous.
1242
01:01:12,173 --> 01:01:14,842
Anyway, I'm sick of her face,
but I love her voice.
1243
01:01:14,875 --> 01:01:16,810
She should do more radio.
1244
01:01:17,745 --> 01:01:18,913
DR. HICKENLOOPER:
I never had children.
1245
01:01:18,946 --> 01:01:21,916
Sometimes I wonder
if I wish I should've.
1246
01:01:21,949 --> 01:01:24,418
I discovered a hypothetical star
myself, by the way.
1247
01:01:24,451 --> 01:01:26,120
-Ooh. Where is it?
-Which one?
1248
01:01:26,153 --> 01:01:29,156
Right there. Partly blocked
by that burnt-out light bulb.
1249
01:01:38,465 --> 01:01:41,068
-(clicking, whirring)
-Uh...
1250
01:01:41,101 --> 01:01:44,038
-What happened?
-I don't know.
1251
01:01:44,071 --> 01:01:45,507
(beeping)
1252
01:01:45,540 --> 01:01:47,208
(alarm buzzing)
1253
01:01:47,241 --> 01:01:49,877
-(heads thump)
-(beeping and buzzing stop)
1254
01:01:52,846 --> 01:01:54,982
-Oh.
-Uh...
1255
01:01:55,983 --> 01:01:57,918
After you.
1256
01:02:05,092 --> 01:02:07,795
Sometimes I think
I'd feel more at home
1257
01:02:07,828 --> 01:02:10,130
outside the Earth's atmosphere.
1258
01:02:13,434 --> 01:02:15,135
Oh, wow.
1259
01:02:15,169 --> 01:02:16,971
Me, too.
1260
01:02:18,239 --> 01:02:21,108
("Sixteen Tons" by
Tennessee Ernie Ford playing)
1261
01:02:23,077 --> 01:02:24,378
Did it come out?
1262
01:02:24,411 --> 01:02:28,048
♪ Some people say a man... ♪
1263
01:02:28,082 --> 01:02:29,817
-I mean the other one.
-Oh.
1264
01:02:29,850 --> 01:02:33,020
♪ A poor man's made
out of muscle and blood ♪
1265
01:02:33,053 --> 01:02:35,956
♪ Muscle and blood
and skin and bones ♪
1266
01:02:35,990 --> 01:02:39,893
♪ A mind that's weak
and a back that's strong... ♪
1267
01:02:40,562 --> 01:02:42,129
Okay.
1268
01:02:43,063 --> 01:02:45,266
♪ Another day older
and deeper in debt ♪
1269
01:02:45,299 --> 01:02:48,570
♪ Saint Peter, don't you
call me, 'cause I can't go ♪
1270
01:02:48,603 --> 01:02:50,104
You feel different?
1271
01:02:50,137 --> 01:02:53,173
♪ I owe my soul
to the company store... ♪
1272
01:02:53,207 --> 01:02:55,242
Hey. You feel different?
1273
01:02:56,377 --> 01:02:58,846
I don't feel anything at all.
1274
01:02:58,879 --> 01:03:01,081
-Me, neither.
-Hmm.
1275
01:03:03,317 --> 01:03:05,019
I'm not a good mother.
1276
01:03:05,052 --> 01:03:06,253
Uh-huh.
1277
01:03:06,287 --> 01:03:08,122
I love my daughter,
but I'm not a good mother
1278
01:03:08,155 --> 01:03:10,190
because, unfortunately for her,
she's not my first priority.
1279
01:03:10,224 --> 01:03:11,825
On account of
there's always already
1280
01:03:11,859 --> 01:03:13,093
the thing I plan to do next.
1281
01:03:13,127 --> 01:03:15,563
I love my daughter,
by the way. I-I...
1282
01:03:15,597 --> 01:03:17,298
I love all my children.
1283
01:03:17,331 --> 01:03:20,000
We have a magical time
when we're together.
1284
01:03:20,034 --> 01:03:21,902
I have another girl and a boy.
1285
01:03:21,935 --> 01:03:23,904
They live with
my second ex-husband in Utah.
1286
01:03:23,937 --> 01:03:25,973
-Uh-huh.
-He rarely sees them, either.
1287
01:03:26,006 --> 01:03:28,108
-Mm-hmm.
-I wish I felt guilty at least,
1288
01:03:28,142 --> 01:03:29,943
but I don't experience
that emotion,
1289
01:03:29,977 --> 01:03:31,312
if I understand it correctly.
1290
01:03:31,345 --> 01:03:33,113
-Yes. (mumbles)
-I've played it, of course.
1291
01:03:33,147 --> 01:03:34,616
So you're saying you never
feel guilty in real life?
1292
01:03:34,649 --> 01:03:36,183
Not to my knowledge.
1293
01:03:36,216 --> 01:03:38,319
I think because of my history
with violent men.
1294
01:03:38,352 --> 01:03:43,057
Starting with my father,
brother and uncles.
1295
01:03:43,090 --> 01:03:46,927
There's always already the thing
I plan to do next, too.
1296
01:03:46,960 --> 01:03:48,495
Usually, it's a war.
1297
01:03:48,530 --> 01:03:50,565
Nobody can compete with that,
can they?
1298
01:03:50,598 --> 01:03:52,433
Probably not.
1299
01:03:52,466 --> 01:03:54,201
I did a USO tour once.
1300
01:03:54,234 --> 01:03:55,969
It was thrilling.
1301
01:03:56,937 --> 01:04:00,107
♪ I owe my soul
to the company store... ♪
1302
01:04:01,241 --> 01:04:04,244
-I think I see how I see us.
-Hmm?
1303
01:04:04,278 --> 01:04:07,314
I mean, I think I know now
what I realize we are.
1304
01:04:07,348 --> 01:04:08,516
Okay.
1305
01:04:08,550 --> 01:04:10,150
Two catastrophically
wounded people
1306
01:04:10,184 --> 01:04:13,220
who don't express the depths
of their pain because...
1307
01:04:13,253 --> 01:04:14,488
we don't want to.
1308
01:04:14,522 --> 01:04:15,956
That's our connection.
1309
01:04:15,989 --> 01:04:18,092
Do you agree?
1310
01:04:19,661 --> 01:04:22,096
Uh-huh.
1311
01:04:23,163 --> 01:04:24,498
Let's, um...
1312
01:04:24,532 --> 01:04:27,635
Let's change the subject,
shall we?
1313
01:04:27,669 --> 01:04:28,636
(knock at door)
1314
01:04:28,670 --> 01:04:30,270
It's open.
1315
01:04:33,508 --> 01:04:36,143
-Hello?
-MIDGE: In here.
1316
01:04:37,077 --> 01:04:39,279
-(door closes)
-(footsteps approaching)
1317
01:04:39,313 --> 01:04:40,981
Hello? Hello.
1318
01:04:41,014 --> 01:04:42,383
I'm just your neighbor,
Stanley Zak.
1319
01:04:42,416 --> 01:04:44,251
I wanted to make sure
you and your daughter
1320
01:04:44,284 --> 01:04:46,387
have everything you might need
at the moment.
1321
01:04:46,420 --> 01:04:47,988
Thank you. I think so.
1322
01:04:48,021 --> 01:04:50,157
What a strange experience
this is, isn't it?
1323
01:04:50,190 --> 01:04:52,594
I went to law school with
your former agent, by the way.
1324
01:04:52,627 --> 01:04:54,428
-Mort?
-Mort. Yes, Mort.
1325
01:04:54,461 --> 01:04:55,896
Oh.
1326
01:04:57,231 --> 01:04:58,700
That came out.
1327
01:04:58,733 --> 01:05:01,902
Yeah, it came out.
All my pictures come out.
1328
01:05:03,137 --> 01:05:07,241
Anyway, as I say,
we're just across the driveway,
1329
01:05:07,274 --> 01:05:10,077
as my son-in-law seems
to have established.
1330
01:05:10,110 --> 01:05:12,279
Send my best wishes to Mort
and his family.
1331
01:05:12,312 --> 01:05:13,681
I will, if and when
we're permitted
1332
01:05:13,715 --> 01:05:15,315
contact with the outside world,
1333
01:05:15,349 --> 01:05:18,318
though I don't speak to him,
to tell you the truth.
1334
01:05:19,186 --> 01:05:21,288
I love your hairdo like that.
1335
01:05:21,321 --> 01:05:23,157
Ugh, Christ.
1336
01:05:25,426 --> 01:05:27,327
MOTEL MANAGER: You see
that wonderful crackly-patch
1337
01:05:27,361 --> 01:05:29,029
right out there
between the dead cactuses
1338
01:05:29,062 --> 01:05:30,297
and the dried-up riverbed?
1339
01:05:30,330 --> 01:05:31,965
-I think so.
-That's your parcel.
1340
01:05:31,999 --> 01:05:33,568
How much of it do I own?
1341
01:05:33,601 --> 01:05:35,035
Well, it's actually
an interesting
1342
01:05:35,068 --> 01:05:36,437
financial mechanism.
1343
01:05:36,470 --> 01:05:39,039
You don't technically own
anything outright.
1344
01:05:39,072 --> 01:05:41,609
You own stock in the town
in the form of a loan
1345
01:05:41,643 --> 01:05:43,043
with a 50-year maturity rate.
1346
01:05:43,076 --> 01:05:44,178
Then, at the end,
the loan is forgiven.
1347
01:05:44,211 --> 01:05:45,580
-You dare me?
-How about water?
1348
01:05:45,613 --> 01:05:47,080
MOTEL MANAGER:
Of course. I understand.
1349
01:05:47,114 --> 01:05:48,982
There isn't any.
This is a desert opportunity.
1350
01:05:49,016 --> 01:05:50,284
-You dare me?
-I heard you.
1351
01:05:50,317 --> 01:05:52,052
-It's an experiment.
-I don't care anymore.
1352
01:05:52,085 --> 01:05:54,121
I dare you or I don't dare you.
It doesn't matter.
1353
01:05:54,154 --> 01:05:56,356
Do what you wish. I give up.
1354
01:05:58,593 --> 01:06:00,961
(J.J. sighs)
1355
01:06:05,466 --> 01:06:07,334
What's the cause?
1356
01:06:07,367 --> 01:06:08,736
What's the meaning?
1357
01:06:08,770 --> 01:06:11,438
Why do you always
have to dare something?
1358
01:06:15,409 --> 01:06:17,244
I don't know.
1359
01:06:18,646 --> 01:06:22,216
Maybe it's because I'm afraid,
1360
01:06:22,249 --> 01:06:26,420
otherwise, nobody'll...
1361
01:06:26,453 --> 01:06:32,025
notice my existence
1362
01:06:32,059 --> 01:06:34,328
in the universe.
1363
01:06:43,805 --> 01:06:45,507
Dare you what?
1364
01:06:45,540 --> 01:06:48,543
Yes, dare you what?
1365
01:06:48,576 --> 01:06:50,244
To climb that cactus out there.
1366
01:06:50,277 --> 01:06:52,145
-Lord, no. No.
-Please don't.
1367
01:06:54,749 --> 01:06:56,483
MIDGE:
Hello.
1368
01:06:56,518 --> 01:06:58,252
Hello. Hello.
1369
01:06:58,285 --> 01:07:00,555
We met before. I'm the mother
of that Cookie Trooper
1370
01:07:00,588 --> 01:07:02,322
-who idolizes you.
-I know.
1371
01:07:02,356 --> 01:07:05,259
Thought you might not
recognize me out of uniform.
1372
01:07:05,292 --> 01:07:07,060
You were very good in the one
1373
01:07:07,094 --> 01:07:08,596
about the tramp in the brothel
who gets amnesia
1374
01:07:08,630 --> 01:07:10,364
-and becomes a pediatrician.
-Thank you. Thank you.
1375
01:07:10,397 --> 01:07:11,833
-You were very authentic.
-That's actually maybe
1376
01:07:11,866 --> 01:07:13,300
my favorite character
I've ever played.
1377
01:07:13,333 --> 01:07:15,068
I don't know why
nobody else liked it.
1378
01:07:15,102 --> 01:07:16,671
Oh. Yes. Me, neither.
1379
01:07:16,704 --> 01:07:18,540
Thank you. Some people liked it.
1380
01:07:18,573 --> 01:07:20,440
Oh, I'm sure. I did.
1381
01:07:20,474 --> 01:07:22,376
Who hit you?
1382
01:07:26,179 --> 01:07:29,049
Am I not in this?
1383
01:07:30,785 --> 01:07:33,086
Excuse me. I'm not in this.
1384
01:07:33,120 --> 01:07:34,556
Um, who hit you?
1385
01:07:34,589 --> 01:07:36,791
-It's on the other eye.
-It's greasepaint.
1386
01:07:36,824 --> 01:07:38,526
Some people did-- do-- liked it.
1387
01:07:38,560 --> 01:07:40,294
Oh, I'm sure.
1388
01:07:40,327 --> 01:07:43,096
I thought it might have been
your second ex-husband in Utah.
1389
01:07:43,130 --> 01:07:44,866
(knob squeaks, water stops)
1390
01:07:44,899 --> 01:07:47,334
(birds screeching)
1391
01:07:55,275 --> 01:07:57,311
If I sleep on a cot
instead of the sofa bed,
1392
01:07:57,344 --> 01:07:58,846
that might leave room
for me to set up
1393
01:07:58,880 --> 01:08:00,615
-a darkroom in the pool house.
-(gunfire)
1394
01:08:00,648 --> 01:08:01,883
Is that possible
as a compromise?
1395
01:08:01,916 --> 01:08:03,551
-It depends on the measurements.
-(alarm blaring)
1396
01:08:03,585 --> 01:08:05,218
-It's not that big. -I can
actually carpool the girls
1397
01:08:05,252 --> 01:08:07,321
to school by golf cart,
you know.
1398
01:08:07,354 --> 01:08:08,856
If I cut across the 14th tee.
1399
01:08:08,890 --> 01:08:10,390
AUGIE: Oh, it's that close
to the elementary?
1400
01:08:10,424 --> 01:08:12,326
WOODROW: How can you two
even think about this?
1401
01:08:12,359 --> 01:08:14,729
The world will never
be the same.
1402
01:08:14,762 --> 01:08:16,864
What happens next? Nobody knows.
1403
01:08:16,898 --> 01:08:18,666
Will he visit us again?
Will he speak to us?
1404
01:08:18,700 --> 01:08:20,902
What will he say?
Why did he steal our asteroid?
1405
01:08:20,935 --> 01:08:23,303
Was it ours in the first place?
Does he like us?
1406
01:08:23,337 --> 01:08:24,906
-Nobody knows.
-That's true.
1407
01:08:24,939 --> 01:08:27,474
What's out there? Something.
1408
01:08:27,508 --> 01:08:29,811
The meaning of life.
Maybe there is one.
1409
01:08:29,844 --> 01:08:32,814
I hope you're still
Episcopalian.
1410
01:08:32,847 --> 01:08:35,349
You took his picture, Dad.
1411
01:08:38,953 --> 01:08:41,254
I'm a photographer.
1412
01:08:45,392 --> 01:08:47,494
WOODROW:
Episcopalian?
1413
01:08:48,395 --> 01:08:50,598
(airplane engine buzzing)
1414
01:08:50,632 --> 01:08:53,635
("The Cattle Call"
by Eddy Arnold playing)
1415
01:08:53,668 --> 01:08:55,770
(gunfire)
1416
01:08:55,803 --> 01:08:57,404
AUGIE:
You really want us, Stanley?
1417
01:08:57,437 --> 01:09:00,374
STANLEY:
No, but you need me.
1418
01:09:00,407 --> 01:09:01,943
She did love me, you know.
1419
01:09:01,976 --> 01:09:03,645
Who says she didn't?
1420
01:09:03,678 --> 01:09:05,680
I've been on my own
for 12 years, after all.
1421
01:09:05,713 --> 01:09:08,415
And remember,
my wife drank herself to death.
1422
01:09:08,448 --> 01:09:11,919
"Drank herself to..."
I don't know what that means.
1423
01:09:11,953 --> 01:09:15,389
In my loneliness--
or perhaps because of it--
1424
01:09:15,422 --> 01:09:17,558
I've learned
not to judge people,
1425
01:09:17,592 --> 01:09:21,228
to take people as I find them,
not as others find them,
1426
01:09:21,261 --> 01:09:23,263
and most of all,
to give complete
1427
01:09:23,296 --> 01:09:26,299
and unquestioning faith
to the people I love.
1428
01:09:26,333 --> 01:09:28,636
I don't know
if that includes you,
1429
01:09:28,670 --> 01:09:32,339
but it included my daughter
and your four children,
1430
01:09:32,372 --> 01:09:33,741
so you're welcome
to stay with me
1431
01:09:33,775 --> 01:09:36,410
for as long as you wish,
whether I like it or not.
1432
01:09:36,443 --> 01:09:38,613
Which I don't, by the way.
1433
01:09:41,916 --> 01:09:43,818
Stop helping us.
1434
01:09:43,851 --> 01:09:45,520
We're in grief.
1435
01:09:45,553 --> 01:09:49,423
♪ He rides in the sun
till his day's work is done ♪
1436
01:09:49,456 --> 01:09:50,658
Me, too.
1437
01:09:50,692 --> 01:09:54,696
♪ And he rounds up
the cattle each fall ♪
1438
01:09:56,798 --> 01:09:58,733
(grunting)
1439
01:09:59,901 --> 01:10:03,771
♪ Singing his cattle call... ♪
1440
01:10:03,805 --> 01:10:06,206
Are you planning to abandon us?
1441
01:10:06,874 --> 01:10:10,343
Uh...
1442
01:10:10,377 --> 01:10:12,847
I was, as a temporary measure.
1443
01:10:12,880 --> 01:10:14,414
-What?
-But I decided against it.
1444
01:10:14,448 --> 01:10:16,017
-I knew it. I sensed it.
-I didn't.
1445
01:10:16,050 --> 01:10:17,785
I'm not the wet nurse.
I'm their grandfather.
1446
01:10:17,819 --> 01:10:19,987
I would've hired a babysitter
in addition to you.
1447
01:10:20,021 --> 01:10:21,956
I'm not planning
to abandon you anymore,
1448
01:10:21,989 --> 01:10:23,423
even as a temporary measure,
1449
01:10:23,457 --> 01:10:25,660
which is all
it ever would've been.
1450
01:10:27,360 --> 01:10:29,997
I forgive you
for considering it.
1451
01:10:30,031 --> 01:10:32,432
(dripping)
1452
01:10:39,473 --> 01:10:41,676
(device beeping and clicking)
1453
01:10:43,845 --> 01:10:46,279
(rhythmic pulsing)
1454
01:10:46,313 --> 01:10:48,482
-(whirring)
-(camera clicks)
1455
01:10:49,784 --> 01:10:51,819
(wind whistling)
1456
01:10:55,790 --> 01:10:58,025
-CLIFFORD: Evening, soldier.
-(footsteps approaching)
1457
01:10:58,059 --> 01:11:01,495
Can I ask you to stick this dime
in the pay phone for me, please?
1458
01:11:01,529 --> 01:11:02,964
All public telephone service
1459
01:11:02,997 --> 01:11:04,766
has been suspended
until further notice.
1460
01:11:04,799 --> 01:11:06,299
I know it. The thing is,
1461
01:11:06,333 --> 01:11:07,702
right before the hubbub
yesterday,
1462
01:11:07,735 --> 01:11:09,670
I made a trunk call
to my cousin long-distance,
1463
01:11:09,704 --> 01:11:11,506
and the operator
let me owe the surcharge
1464
01:11:11,539 --> 01:11:13,440
because all I had
was three pennies.
1465
01:11:13,473 --> 01:11:16,511
I don't feel right stealing
from the telephone company.
1466
01:11:34,361 --> 01:11:36,798
(phone beeps, clicks)
1467
01:11:36,831 --> 01:11:39,033
(whirring)
1468
01:11:39,066 --> 01:11:40,802
(dial tone droning)
1469
01:11:40,835 --> 01:11:42,870
(crackling)
1470
01:11:48,109 --> 01:11:49,577
Although it might convey
a different meaning
1471
01:11:49,610 --> 01:11:51,012
-on his planet.
-It's true.
1472
01:11:51,045 --> 01:11:52,880
If he even has a planet,
by the way.
1473
01:11:52,914 --> 01:11:54,081
-He might be nomadic.
-Hmm.
1474
01:11:54,115 --> 01:11:55,950
Operator?
Kismet-nine-seven-seven-oh.
1475
01:11:55,983 --> 01:11:57,885
-Station to station.
-OPERATOR: Stay on the line.
1476
01:11:57,919 --> 01:11:59,086
-Thank you.
-(beeping)
1477
01:11:59,120 --> 01:12:01,556
(phone ringing)
1478
01:12:03,124 --> 01:12:04,759
-Hello? Who's calling?
-(clears throat)
1479
01:12:04,792 --> 01:12:06,894
Good evening, Mrs. Weatherford.
It's Ricky Cho.
1480
01:12:06,928 --> 01:12:08,996
-May I have a word with...
-Ricky, it's after 9:00.
1481
01:12:09,030 --> 01:12:10,497
He's already drinking
his Ovaltine.
1482
01:12:10,531 --> 01:12:11,732
Can't this wait until tomorrow?
1483
01:12:11,766 --> 01:12:13,501
I'm afraid not,
Mrs. Weatherford.
1484
01:12:13,534 --> 01:12:14,902
I-I wouldn't disturb you
if it weren't
1485
01:12:14,936 --> 01:12:17,370
of the utmost importance
to the Weekly Bobcat.
1486
01:12:17,404 --> 01:12:19,607
I just need a minute
of his time.
1487
01:12:19,640 --> 01:12:21,441
All right, Ricky. Hold the line.
1488
01:12:21,474 --> 01:12:23,110
Some kind of romance
between the two of you?
1489
01:12:23,144 --> 01:12:24,846
-Skip, Ricky Cho!
-What? Who?
1490
01:12:24,879 --> 01:12:26,080
-Who? You.
-Who?
1491
01:12:26,113 --> 01:12:27,480
-You know who.
-Us?
1492
01:12:27,515 --> 01:12:28,716
We only met yesterday.
1493
01:12:28,749 --> 01:12:30,417
I feel she doesn't like me
in that way.
1494
01:12:30,450 --> 01:12:31,519
Uh-huh. Well, I think
you're pretty smart,
1495
01:12:31,552 --> 01:12:32,920
but I think you're pretty dumb.
1496
01:12:32,954 --> 01:12:34,088
-Hello?
-Shh, shh. Hold it.
1497
01:12:34,121 --> 01:12:36,824
Skip? Ricky. We got a scoop.
1498
01:12:36,858 --> 01:12:38,893
♪ ♪
1499
01:12:44,866 --> 01:12:48,468
The first hints of the future
existence of Asteroid City
1500
01:12:48,502 --> 01:12:50,470
were revealed during
a special seminar
1501
01:12:50,504 --> 01:12:52,707
scheduled at
the playwright's request.
1502
01:12:52,740 --> 01:12:55,009
Conrad Earp,
how can we help you?
1503
01:12:55,042 --> 01:12:57,144
Well, the thing is, Saltzie,
I'd like to make a scene
1504
01:12:57,178 --> 01:13:00,615
where all my characters are
each gently, privately seduced
1505
01:13:00,648 --> 01:13:03,084
into the deepest, dreamiest
slumber of their lives
1506
01:13:03,117 --> 01:13:04,919
as a result of
their shared experience
1507
01:13:04,952 --> 01:13:07,822
of a bewildering and bedazzling
celestial mystery.
1508
01:13:07,855 --> 01:13:10,558
-A sleeping scene.
-A scene of sleep.
1509
01:13:10,591 --> 01:13:12,026
But I don't know
how to write it.
1510
01:13:12,059 --> 01:13:14,161
-Yet.
-Yet.
1511
01:13:14,195 --> 01:13:15,830
I thought, perhaps, if you
1512
01:13:15,863 --> 01:13:19,033
and your wonderfully talented
pupils just improvise,
1513
01:13:19,066 --> 01:13:21,168
something might reveal itself.
1514
01:13:21,202 --> 01:13:23,170
Who wasn't going to be famous?
1515
01:13:23,204 --> 01:13:27,074
On any given day, roll call
in Saltzburg Keitel's classroom
1516
01:13:27,108 --> 01:13:31,444
was a now dazzling list
of undiscovered luminaries:
1517
01:13:31,478 --> 01:13:33,080
Linus Mao.
1518
01:13:33,114 --> 01:13:34,916
Lucretia Shaver.
1519
01:13:34,949 --> 01:13:36,817
Walter Geronimo.
1520
01:13:36,851 --> 01:13:38,152
Asquith Eden.
1521
01:13:38,185 --> 01:13:39,954
Mercedes Ford.
1522
01:13:39,987 --> 01:13:43,456
Even, unofficially, Jones Hall.
1523
01:13:43,490 --> 01:13:45,793
What's it about, the play?
1524
01:13:45,826 --> 01:13:49,864
Mm, infinity,
and I don't know what else.
1525
01:13:49,897 --> 01:13:51,464
Is there a title?
1526
01:13:51,498 --> 01:13:52,566
I'm torn.
1527
01:13:52,600 --> 01:13:55,069
Maybe The Cosmic Wilderness.
1528
01:13:55,102 --> 01:13:56,537
Do you like that one?
1529
01:13:56,570 --> 01:13:58,039
-Mm, not really.
-OTHERS: Uh-uh.
1530
01:13:58,072 --> 01:13:59,740
What's the alternative?
1531
01:13:59,774 --> 01:14:00,608
Title, I mean.
1532
01:14:00,641 --> 01:14:02,243
Well, it's the name
of the small town
1533
01:14:02,276 --> 01:14:03,945
on the California/Nevada/
Arizona desert
1534
01:14:03,978 --> 01:14:05,646
where the story takes place.
1535
01:14:05,680 --> 01:14:09,817
Okay. Who here has ever
actually fallen asleep onstage
1536
01:14:09,850 --> 01:14:12,920
during a live performance
in front of a paying audience?
1537
01:14:12,954 --> 01:14:14,288
SCHUBERT:
Me.
1538
01:14:14,322 --> 01:14:16,991
I spent the first three-quarters
of Act Two of The Welterweight
1539
01:14:17,024 --> 01:14:21,095
on a massage table with no lines
till the last minute and a half.
1540
01:14:21,128 --> 01:14:23,564
One night, I nodded off.
1541
01:14:23,597 --> 01:14:25,766
-On purpose, you did this?
-(chuckles): No.
1542
01:14:25,800 --> 01:14:28,569
-Did you miss your cue?
-Almost.
1543
01:14:28,602 --> 01:14:31,072
I heard it,
and I woke up very scared,
1544
01:14:31,105 --> 01:14:32,673
but I knew my lines.
1545
01:14:32,707 --> 01:14:34,241
-Good morning, Schubert.
-Good morning, Saltzie.
1546
01:14:34,275 --> 01:14:35,776
What brings you here today?
1547
01:14:35,810 --> 01:14:37,278
We haven't seen you
in six weeks.
1548
01:14:37,311 --> 01:14:39,580
Lavender and Lemons
opened last night
1549
01:14:39,613 --> 01:14:42,249
to very good, uh...
I might say raves, by the way.
1550
01:14:42,283 --> 01:14:44,018
I'm available.
1551
01:14:45,619 --> 01:14:47,922
What did he teach? Example.
1552
01:14:47,955 --> 01:14:49,790
Sleep-- it's not death.
1553
01:14:49,824 --> 01:14:51,993
The body keeps busy,
breathing air,
1554
01:14:52,026 --> 01:14:53,594
pumping blood, thinking.
1555
01:14:53,627 --> 01:14:55,830
Maybe you pay a visit
to your dead mother.
1556
01:14:55,863 --> 01:14:58,766
Maybe you go to bed
with your ex-wife or husband.
1557
01:14:58,799 --> 01:15:00,568
Maybe you climb the Matterhorn.
1558
01:15:00,601 --> 01:15:02,603
Connie, you wake up
with a new scene
1559
01:15:02,636 --> 01:15:04,672
three-quarters written
in your head already.
1560
01:15:04,705 --> 01:15:07,241
Schubert, you wake up
with a hangover.
1561
01:15:07,274 --> 01:15:08,876
Important things happen.
1562
01:15:08,909 --> 01:15:10,945
Is there something to play?
I think so.
1563
01:15:10,978 --> 01:15:13,914
Let's work on the scene
from the outside in.
1564
01:15:13,948 --> 01:15:15,182
Be inert.
1565
01:15:15,216 --> 01:15:17,518
Then dream.
1566
01:15:20,621 --> 01:15:22,256
Where are we, Connie? And when?
1567
01:15:22,289 --> 01:15:23,591
Talk to us.
1568
01:15:23,624 --> 01:15:25,026
Yes. All right.
1569
01:15:25,059 --> 01:15:26,594
One week later.
1570
01:15:26,627 --> 01:15:28,562
Our cast of characters'
already tenuous
1571
01:15:28,596 --> 01:15:31,298
grasp of reality has further
slipped in quarantine,
1572
01:15:31,332 --> 01:15:33,300
and the group begins
to occupy a space
1573
01:15:33,334 --> 01:15:35,703
of the most peculiar
emotional dimensions.
1574
01:15:35,736 --> 01:15:37,705
Meanwhile,
the information blockade
1575
01:15:37,738 --> 01:15:39,707
spearheaded
by General Grif Gibson
1576
01:15:39,740 --> 01:15:42,143
has been, it appears...
1577
01:15:42,176 --> 01:15:44,578
incomplete.
1578
01:15:54,955 --> 01:15:57,158
-(bell ringing)
-(lively chatter)
1579
01:16:06,834 --> 01:16:10,071
-(train rattling)
-(bell clanging)
1580
01:16:10,104 --> 01:16:12,139
(train whistle blowing)
1581
01:16:17,044 --> 01:16:19,680
(over speaker):
Extra! Extra! Late edition!
1582
01:16:19,713 --> 01:16:21,248
Extra! Extra!
1583
01:16:21,282 --> 01:16:23,084
Late edition!
1584
01:16:23,117 --> 01:16:25,152
(steady beeping)
1585
01:16:27,955 --> 01:16:30,758
I hope you're aware, you and
your accomplices may still face
1586
01:16:30,791 --> 01:16:33,027
felony prosecution,
possibly even a treason charge.
1587
01:16:33,060 --> 01:16:35,396
I'll fight it all the way
to the Supreme Court,
1588
01:16:35,429 --> 01:16:37,798
-if necessary, and win.
-(door opens)
1589
01:16:37,832 --> 01:16:40,134
This just in,
from the president.
1590
01:16:41,068 --> 01:16:42,937
He's furious.
Thanks a lot, Ricky.
1591
01:16:42,970 --> 01:16:44,939
I don't know what to say,
General Gibson.
1592
01:16:44,972 --> 01:16:46,841
-I'm sorry.
-Don't apologize, Dad.
1593
01:16:46,874 --> 01:16:48,709
The public has a right
to the truth.
1594
01:16:48,742 --> 01:16:50,911
-You made your point.
-This tribunal is a mockery!
1595
01:16:50,945 --> 01:16:52,713
What about Steenbeck,
who took the photograph?
1596
01:16:52,746 --> 01:16:54,715
It's on the front page of
every newspaper on the planet.
1597
01:16:54,748 --> 01:16:56,917
-Can't we arrest him, as well?
-Unfortunately, no.
1598
01:16:56,951 --> 01:16:58,719
He dropped a print in the mail
1599
01:16:58,752 --> 01:17:00,121
to his photo agency
first thing Tuesday morning,
1600
01:17:00,154 --> 01:17:02,723
and the postman got it
before we did. He's innocent.
1601
01:17:02,756 --> 01:17:04,692
Supposedly, he did a nude
of Midge Campbell, too.
1602
01:17:04,725 --> 01:17:06,961
-Midge Campbell?
-Ooh, Midge Campbell.
1603
01:17:08,062 --> 01:17:09,897
As you know, boys and girls,
your parents arrived
1604
01:17:09,930 --> 01:17:11,665
late last night
by military helicopter.
1605
01:17:11,699 --> 01:17:13,200
They've been sequestered
in that metal hut over there
1606
01:17:13,234 --> 01:17:14,835
for the past several hours
while the government scientists
1607
01:17:14,869 --> 01:17:16,270
explain the situation to them,
1608
01:17:16,303 --> 01:17:18,005
although everything's
already in the newspapers.
1609
01:17:18,038 --> 01:17:19,773
It's my understanding
they're about to go onto
1610
01:17:19,807 --> 01:17:21,142
this closed-circuit
television set at any moment.
1611
01:17:21,175 --> 01:17:23,277
Everything's connected,
but nothing's working.
1612
01:17:23,310 --> 01:17:26,814
Let's carry on with
the lesson plan, then. Billy?
1613
01:17:26,847 --> 01:17:28,415
I did the alien's flying saucer
1614
01:17:28,449 --> 01:17:31,018
with a hubcap
and a chicken pot pie tin.
1615
01:17:31,051 --> 01:17:33,354
JUNE:
Good work. Very accurate.
1616
01:17:33,387 --> 01:17:34,889
Jupiter, fifth planet
from the sun,
1617
01:17:34,922 --> 01:17:36,323
largest in our solar system...
1618
01:17:36,357 --> 01:17:37,758
Yes, Bernice?
1619
01:17:37,791 --> 01:17:40,194
I did the alien
on his home planet.
1620
01:17:41,061 --> 01:17:43,364
JUNE:
Well done. How wonderful.
1621
01:17:43,397 --> 01:17:45,332
Due to extreme
atmospheric conditions,
1622
01:17:45,366 --> 01:17:48,969
an anticyclonic storm has raged
on Jupiter's surface for over...
1623
01:17:49,003 --> 01:17:50,104
Yes, Dwight?
1624
01:17:50,137 --> 01:17:51,772
I wrote a song about him.
1625
01:17:51,805 --> 01:17:55,976
Oh. Um, this may not be the time
for a musical performance.
1626
01:17:56,010 --> 01:17:57,444
-Let's...
-(footsteps approaching)
1627
01:17:57,478 --> 01:17:59,180
Uh, yes, Montana?
1628
01:17:59,213 --> 01:18:00,447
Pardon the interruption, June.
1629
01:18:00,481 --> 01:18:01,882
The boys and I heard old Dwight
1630
01:18:01,916 --> 01:18:03,317
was scribbling up
a little warble,
1631
01:18:03,350 --> 01:18:05,052
so we learned ourselves
to play it.
1632
01:18:11,392 --> 01:18:14,261
-(strums banjo)
-One, two, three.
1633
01:18:14,295 --> 01:18:16,964
♪ Howdly-dee... ♪
1634
01:18:44,058 --> 01:18:47,094
-♪ Howdly-dee, howdly-dee ♪
-(lively whooping)
1635
01:18:47,127 --> 01:18:50,965
♪ Howdly-dee,
howdly-dee ♪
1636
01:18:50,998 --> 01:18:54,201
♪ Howdly-dee, howdly-dee ♪
1637
01:18:54,235 --> 01:18:58,005
-♪ Howdly-dee, howdly-dee ♪
-Come on, y'all!
1638
01:18:58,038 --> 01:18:59,974
♪ Hop on one foot, skip on two ♪
1639
01:19:00,007 --> 01:19:01,909
♪ Dance the Spaceman,
howdly-do ♪
1640
01:19:01,942 --> 01:19:03,811
♪ Bounce on four foot,
spring on three ♪
1641
01:19:03,844 --> 01:19:05,312
♪ Let's be spacemen,
howdly-dee ♪
1642
01:19:05,346 --> 01:19:09,350
♪ Howdly-dee, howdly-dee. ♪
1643
01:19:11,051 --> 01:19:13,320
This was on an old roll
I forgot to develop
1644
01:19:13,354 --> 01:19:15,055
in the glove box.
1645
01:19:15,089 --> 01:19:17,992
"Self-Portrait with Shrapnel."
1646
01:19:18,025 --> 01:19:20,894
("Kaw-Liga" by Johnny Duncan
and The Blue Grass Boys plays)
1647
01:19:24,498 --> 01:19:26,800
Do page 45.
1648
01:19:33,040 --> 01:19:34,775
(Augie clears throat)
1649
01:19:36,877 --> 01:19:38,546
"What have you done?
How could you?"
1650
01:19:38,580 --> 01:19:40,014
-It says "shouting and crying."
-Uh-huh.
1651
01:19:40,047 --> 01:19:42,349
-So shout and cry.
-"How could you?!"
1652
01:19:44,285 --> 01:19:45,587
"How couldn't I?"
1653
01:19:45,620 --> 01:19:47,221
"How couldn't you?"
1654
01:19:47,254 --> 01:19:48,556
"That's what I'm asking."
1655
01:19:48,590 --> 01:19:50,891
"It was over already.
You were free.
1656
01:19:50,924 --> 01:19:52,594
"What's the point
of committing suicide
1657
01:19:52,627 --> 01:19:55,262
when there's nothing left
to escape?"
1658
01:19:56,196 --> 01:19:58,932
"Maybe that was
the problem all along."
1659
01:19:58,966 --> 01:20:01,902
"Stares for a moment."
(mumbling)
1660
01:20:01,935 --> 01:20:03,904
And then it says I smash
everything off the shelf.
1661
01:20:03,937 --> 01:20:05,406
So smash everything
off the shelf.
1662
01:20:05,439 --> 01:20:08,008
(grunting)
1663
01:20:09,611 --> 01:20:11,312
"Such a sickening waste.
1664
01:20:11,345 --> 01:20:14,181
"Think of the people.
Think of the places.
1665
01:20:14,214 --> 01:20:16,450
-Think of the world..."
-Use your grief.
1666
01:20:16,483 --> 01:20:17,951
For a rehearsal?
1667
01:20:17,985 --> 01:20:19,420
I'm not even in this picture.
1668
01:20:19,453 --> 01:20:21,322
I'm a war photographer.
1669
01:20:21,355 --> 01:20:23,023
Use your grief.
1670
01:20:24,358 --> 01:20:25,926
All right.
1671
01:20:29,263 --> 01:20:31,398
"Such a sickening waste.
1672
01:20:33,133 --> 01:20:36,937
"Think of the people.
Think of the places.
1673
01:20:36,970 --> 01:20:40,107
Think of the world
you could have seen, Dolores."
1674
01:20:42,109 --> 01:20:44,278
"I've already seen it."
1675
01:20:45,245 --> 01:20:48,082
She still is...
uh, is-is she a ghost?
1676
01:20:50,652 --> 01:20:52,453
It's not clear.
1677
01:20:53,387 --> 01:20:54,589
Uh... (sniffs)
1678
01:20:54,622 --> 01:20:56,357
Then the, uh... the...
1679
01:20:57,424 --> 01:20:59,360
Then the coroner comes in,
orders me out of the room.
1680
01:20:59,393 --> 01:21:01,295
I slowly turn away
and close the door.
1681
01:21:01,328 --> 01:21:02,396
Scene.
1682
01:21:02,429 --> 01:21:04,465
My sandwich is burning.
1683
01:21:04,498 --> 01:21:06,400
(door opens)
1684
01:21:08,302 --> 01:21:09,604
(sizzling)
1685
01:21:09,637 --> 01:21:11,271
(door opens)
1686
01:21:14,642 --> 01:21:16,443
(blowing)
1687
01:21:19,714 --> 01:21:21,448
My daughter saw us.
1688
01:21:21,482 --> 01:21:22,517
What?
1689
01:21:22,550 --> 01:21:24,385
Oh, uh, Dinah saw us.
1690
01:21:24,418 --> 01:21:27,287
Through this window,
in your bedroom yesterday.
1691
01:21:28,155 --> 01:21:30,391
(lively jazz music playing)
1692
01:21:36,163 --> 01:21:39,233
Did you, uh, tell her
we were rehearsing again?
1693
01:21:40,167 --> 01:21:42,202
I didn't think of that.
I should've.
1694
01:21:42,236 --> 01:21:45,172
But it's too late,
because I admitted everything.
1695
01:21:46,173 --> 01:21:48,041
Did she tell Woodrow?
1696
01:21:48,643 --> 01:21:50,411
Hard to say.
1697
01:21:50,444 --> 01:21:51,979
She can keep a secret.
1698
01:21:52,012 --> 01:21:53,914
I don't know if she will.
1699
01:21:56,450 --> 01:21:59,319
This isn't the beginning
of something, Augie.
1700
01:21:59,353 --> 01:22:01,321
Isn't it?
1701
01:22:02,289 --> 01:22:03,591
Is it?
1702
01:22:03,625 --> 01:22:05,560
Probably not.
1703
01:22:05,593 --> 01:22:07,161
Unless maybe it is.
1704
01:22:07,194 --> 01:22:08,630
I don't like the way
that guy looked at us.
1705
01:22:08,663 --> 01:22:10,665
-What guy?
-The alien.
1706
01:22:10,698 --> 01:22:12,166
Oh. How did he...
1707
01:22:12,199 --> 01:22:14,368
-How did he look at us?
-Like we're doomed.
1708
01:22:16,738 --> 01:22:19,239
Maybe we are.
1709
01:22:19,273 --> 01:22:21,008
(buzzing softly)
1710
01:22:22,577 --> 01:22:24,579
-(sizzles)
-(both gasp)
1711
01:22:24,612 --> 01:22:26,246
What did you just do?
1712
01:22:26,280 --> 01:22:27,749
I burned my hand
on the Quicky-Griddle.
1713
01:22:27,782 --> 01:22:29,717
-Why?
-It's not clear.
1714
01:22:29,751 --> 01:22:32,152
Show me.
1715
01:22:32,754 --> 01:22:34,556
You really did it.
1716
01:22:34,589 --> 01:22:37,224
That actually happened.
1717
01:22:39,460 --> 01:22:41,495
(rapid gunfire)
1718
01:22:45,533 --> 01:22:47,301
Pull.
1719
01:22:49,403 --> 01:22:52,372
(crackling, whirring)
1720
01:22:53,775 --> 01:22:56,276
How long can they keep us
in Asteroid City?
1721
01:22:56,310 --> 01:22:57,612
Legally, I mean.
1722
01:22:57,645 --> 01:22:59,079
Well, I'm not an attorney,
1723
01:22:59,112 --> 01:23:00,648
but I'd say
as long as they like.
1724
01:23:00,682 --> 01:23:02,349
I think we'd have to file
an injunction
1725
01:23:02,382 --> 01:23:04,151
and successfully argue
the case-- six months to a year?
1726
01:23:04,184 --> 01:23:05,520
Of course,
we'd also need to initiate
1727
01:23:05,553 --> 01:23:07,087
a civil suit for loss of income.
1728
01:23:07,120 --> 01:23:08,556
Maybe we should just
walk out right now.
1729
01:23:08,590 --> 01:23:11,626
I'm not sure they could stop us
without killing somebody.
1730
01:23:11,659 --> 01:23:13,327
Interesting idea.
1731
01:23:13,360 --> 01:23:15,797
What kind of mileage
you think that jet pack gets?
1732
01:23:15,830 --> 01:23:17,231
Ask Roger or his son.
1733
01:23:17,264 --> 01:23:18,766
Apparently,
he's being prosecuted
1734
01:23:18,800 --> 01:23:20,300
for revealing state secrets.
1735
01:23:20,334 --> 01:23:22,236
-They'll never make it stick.
-I'm in no hurry.
1736
01:23:22,269 --> 01:23:24,238
I like the desert.
I like aliens.
1737
01:23:24,271 --> 01:23:25,773
-Pull.
-(running footsteps)
1738
01:23:25,807 --> 01:23:27,274
GUARD:
How'd you get that back?
1739
01:23:27,307 --> 01:23:28,710
The projects remain
under secure lockdown.
1740
01:23:28,743 --> 01:23:30,110
No Stargazer is permitted
personal access
1741
01:23:30,143 --> 01:23:31,211
without the express
permission...
1742
01:23:31,245 --> 01:23:32,412
My son invented this death ray.
1743
01:23:32,446 --> 01:23:34,081
That may be true,
but my orders are...
1744
01:23:34,114 --> 01:23:35,517
-Step back.
-Easy, fellas.
1745
01:23:35,550 --> 01:23:37,384
-We're not in Guadalcanal
anymore. -Okay, okay, okay.
1746
01:23:37,417 --> 01:23:39,253
Everyone, please. It's been
a difficult quarantine.
1747
01:23:39,286 --> 01:23:40,822
-I'll zap you right now!
-You stole your projects!
1748
01:23:40,855 --> 01:23:42,389
GIBSON (over radio):
Goddamn it, tell them
1749
01:23:42,422 --> 01:23:43,758
-to stand down!
-Stand down! You hear that?
1750
01:23:43,791 --> 01:23:45,158
General Gibson says,
"Stand down."
1751
01:23:45,192 --> 01:23:46,493
-You married?
-Of course.
1752
01:23:46,528 --> 01:23:48,663
We'll reconfiscate the projects
at a later time.
1753
01:23:48,696 --> 01:23:50,264
Probably after dinner.
1754
01:23:50,865 --> 01:23:53,200
Try it.
1755
01:23:54,836 --> 01:23:56,436
DINAH:
Tab Hunter, Doris Day, out,
1756
01:23:56,470 --> 01:23:58,472
Jack the Ripper, out,
Bing Crosby, Shirley Temple,
1757
01:23:58,506 --> 01:24:00,542
out, out, Orson Welles,
Lucille Ball, out,
1758
01:24:00,575 --> 01:24:02,810
Marlon Brando, out,
Queen Elizabeth, Mickey Mantle,
1759
01:24:02,844 --> 01:24:04,444
out, out, Yul Brynner,
Louis Armstrong,
1760
01:24:04,478 --> 01:24:07,180
out, Lana Turner, out,
Betty Grable, Ella Fitzgerald,
1761
01:24:07,214 --> 01:24:09,416
out, out, Rock Hudson, out,
Jerry Lewis, out, out,
1762
01:24:09,449 --> 01:24:11,686
Greta Garbo, Karl Marx, out,
Joan of Arc, out,
1763
01:24:11,719 --> 01:24:13,353
Charles Darwin,
Walter Pidgeon, out,
1764
01:24:13,387 --> 01:24:15,355
Emily Dickinson,
Galileo, out, out,
1765
01:24:15,389 --> 01:24:17,257
Pontius Pilate, out,
Ernest Hemingway, Jackie O...
1766
01:24:17,291 --> 01:24:19,259
Who's responsible for stealing
my radio telescope,
1767
01:24:19,293 --> 01:24:21,094
my signal processing receiver
1768
01:24:21,128 --> 01:24:23,430
and my entire spectrographical
monitoring network?
1769
01:24:25,165 --> 01:24:27,167
They're trying
to contact the alien.
1770
01:24:27,200 --> 01:24:30,103
Well, I appreciate that,
but what about Dr. Hickenlooper?
1771
01:24:30,137 --> 01:24:32,840
If you're trying to contact
the alien, include me.
1772
01:24:32,874 --> 01:24:35,108
Did you hear anything
from him so far?
1773
01:24:35,142 --> 01:24:36,678
-No.
-DR. HICKENLOOPER: Huh.
1774
01:24:36,711 --> 01:24:38,513
What's all this?
1775
01:24:38,546 --> 01:24:40,848
WOODROW: I put the American flag
just to be patriotic.
1776
01:24:40,882 --> 01:24:42,517
Now we need
to really mean something.
1777
01:24:42,550 --> 01:24:44,552
A universal message,
not only to earthlings.
1778
01:24:44,586 --> 01:24:46,721
We already thought of
everything we could think of:
1779
01:24:46,754 --> 01:24:48,355
a cross, a star,
a four-leaf clover,
1780
01:24:48,388 --> 01:24:50,190
letters, numbers, hieroglyphics.
1781
01:24:50,223 --> 01:24:51,859
What's the point of projecting
a star onto the moon?
1782
01:24:51,893 --> 01:24:53,260
-Exactly.
-I ask that sincerely.
1783
01:24:53,293 --> 01:24:54,461
How about "E equals MC-squared"?
1784
01:24:54,494 --> 01:24:55,863
-I still think it's...
-They know that.
1785
01:24:55,897 --> 01:24:57,331
-It's too easy.
-This is our chance
1786
01:24:57,364 --> 01:24:59,466
to be actually worthwhile
in our lifetimes.
1787
01:24:59,499 --> 01:25:01,168
I see what you mean.
1788
01:25:01,201 --> 01:25:02,904
-Whose turn was it?
-Oh, the middle of mine.
1789
01:25:02,937 --> 01:25:04,606
I'd better start over.
1790
01:25:04,639 --> 01:25:06,440
-Cleopatra, Jagadish...
-A word, Woodrow.
1791
01:25:06,473 --> 01:25:09,142
About the, uh, settings
on the spectrograph.
1792
01:25:09,176 --> 01:25:10,511
Over here, if you wouldn't mind.
1793
01:25:10,545 --> 01:25:12,245
DINAH: ...Kurt Gödel,
William Henry Bragg...
1794
01:25:12,279 --> 01:25:14,214
DR. HICKENLOOPER:
The, uh, warning label indicates
1795
01:25:14,247 --> 01:25:16,183
that the, uh...
1796
01:25:18,318 --> 01:25:20,855
It's all worthwhile
in your lifetime.
1797
01:25:20,888 --> 01:25:22,523
-This, I mean.
-Okay.
1798
01:25:22,557 --> 01:25:24,826
Your curiosity is
your most important asset.
1799
01:25:24,859 --> 01:25:26,259
-Trust it.
-Okay.
1800
01:25:26,293 --> 01:25:27,695
-Trust your curiosity.
-Okay.
1801
01:25:27,729 --> 01:25:29,864
The resources of my lab
will always be available to you.
1802
01:25:29,897 --> 01:25:31,498
After this thing is over,
I mean.
1803
01:25:31,532 --> 01:25:33,433
You could maybe sort of
be my protégé, if you like.
1804
01:25:33,467 --> 01:25:34,836
Oh, wow. Maybe we can prove
1805
01:25:34,869 --> 01:25:36,303
the hypothesis
of celestial flirtation
1806
01:25:36,336 --> 01:25:37,639
and get the math right finally.
1807
01:25:37,672 --> 01:25:38,906
Wow. Let's try.
1808
01:25:38,940 --> 01:25:40,842
I think I see
the dots from space
1809
01:25:40,875 --> 01:25:42,644
burned into your eyeballs.
1810
01:25:45,680 --> 01:25:47,247
I'm sorry about your mother.
1811
01:25:47,280 --> 01:25:50,217
I miss mine, too,
and she died 46 years ago.
1812
01:25:51,418 --> 01:25:53,420
Thank you.
1813
01:25:55,489 --> 01:25:57,257
I've already petitioned
the State Assembly
1814
01:25:57,290 --> 01:25:59,393
to change the name of the town
from Asteroid City
1815
01:25:59,426 --> 01:26:01,194
to Alien Landing, U.S.A.
1816
01:26:01,228 --> 01:26:03,564
This municipality might end up
being the center
1817
01:26:03,598 --> 01:26:06,801
of a vast community
of Stargazers and Space Cadets.
1818
01:26:06,834 --> 01:26:09,737
It's a historic offering.
1819
01:26:09,771 --> 01:26:12,172
(jingling)
1820
01:26:14,976 --> 01:26:16,944
GIBSON: As you know,
the Asteroid Day itinerary
1821
01:26:16,978 --> 01:26:18,579
had to be suspended last week
1822
01:26:18,613 --> 01:26:21,248
due to the factual reality
of our circumstances.
1823
01:26:21,281 --> 01:26:22,950
However, I have
an announcement to make.
1824
01:26:22,984 --> 01:26:24,886
Dr. Hickenlooper
and the Military-Science
1825
01:26:24,919 --> 01:26:26,554
Research and Experimentation
Division,
1826
01:26:26,587 --> 01:26:28,422
in conjunction with
the Larkings Foundation,
1827
01:26:28,455 --> 01:26:30,692
have officially selected
a recipient
1828
01:26:30,725 --> 01:26:32,727
for this year's
Hickenlooper Scholarship,
1829
01:26:32,760 --> 01:26:35,997
and you're all going home
first thing tomorrow morning.
1830
01:26:36,030 --> 01:26:37,999
The president has opted
to lift the quarantine
1831
01:26:38,032 --> 01:26:39,801
by executive decree.
1832
01:26:39,834 --> 01:26:42,436
(cheering)
1833
01:26:42,469 --> 01:26:44,271
I'd like to take
this opportunity--
1834
01:26:44,304 --> 01:26:46,273
and, by the way,
all of this year's projects,
1835
01:26:46,306 --> 01:26:47,642
setting aside my own
1836
01:26:47,675 --> 01:26:49,711
differences of opinion
with Ricky Cho,
1837
01:26:49,744 --> 01:26:52,412
were of the very highest
caliber, without exception--
1838
01:26:52,446 --> 01:26:55,315
-to officially declare, uh...
-(crowd murmuring)
1839
01:26:55,348 --> 01:26:56,551
-What's happening now?
-Scholarship...
1840
01:26:56,584 --> 01:26:57,885
-What's happening now?
-I don't know.
1841
01:26:57,919 --> 01:26:59,587
It's today again.
1842
01:26:59,620 --> 01:27:02,322
-(rhythmic beeping)
-(crowd murmuring)
1843
01:27:09,797 --> 01:27:12,265
♪ ♪
1844
01:27:33,054 --> 01:27:35,022
It's been inventoried.
1845
01:27:35,056 --> 01:27:37,525
(crowd gasping,
murmuring quietly)
1846
01:27:39,459 --> 01:27:41,028
Under the provisions of
1847
01:27:41,062 --> 01:27:42,697
National Security
Emergency Scrimmage Plan X,
1848
01:27:42,730 --> 01:27:44,599
the lifting of the quarantine
which I just announced
1849
01:27:44,632 --> 01:27:46,634
is now canceled
or at least postponed
1850
01:27:46,667 --> 01:27:50,004
due to the unexpected
new event which just...
1851
01:27:50,037 --> 01:27:52,405
(crowd clamoring)
1852
01:28:05,452 --> 01:28:07,688
(clamoring continues)
1853
01:28:16,731 --> 01:28:19,967
Why does Augie burn his hand
on the Quicky-Griddle?
1854
01:28:20,001 --> 01:28:22,435
I still don't understand
the play.
1855
01:28:23,638 --> 01:28:24,806
What?
1856
01:28:24,839 --> 01:28:26,406
(whooping)
1857
01:28:26,439 --> 01:28:28,643
(clamoring continues)
1858
01:28:33,380 --> 01:28:36,017
Where are you going?
1859
01:28:36,050 --> 01:28:37,819
I'll be right back.
1860
01:28:37,852 --> 01:28:39,921
MAN: I don't play him
as an alien, actually.
1861
01:28:39,954 --> 01:28:41,556
I play him as a metaphor.
1862
01:28:41,589 --> 01:28:43,423
-That's my interpretation.
-Metaphor for what?
1863
01:28:43,456 --> 01:28:45,927
I-I don't know yet.
We don't pin it down.
1864
01:28:45,960 --> 01:28:47,995
Schubert. Schubert.
1865
01:28:48,029 --> 01:28:50,097
-Schubert! Schubert!
-Huh? Yes.
1866
01:28:50,131 --> 01:28:52,567
What's wrong? Are you on?
1867
01:28:52,600 --> 01:28:54,434
Technically, but General Gibson
just started the scene
1868
01:28:54,467 --> 01:28:55,970
where the president
doesn't accept his resignation.
1869
01:28:56,003 --> 01:28:58,105
I've got six and a half minutes
before my next line.
1870
01:28:58,139 --> 01:28:59,974
I need an answer
to a question I want to ask.
1871
01:29:00,007 --> 01:29:01,108
Okay.
1872
01:29:01,142 --> 01:29:03,044
Am I doing him right?
1873
01:29:03,077 --> 01:29:04,512
Oh.
1874
01:29:04,545 --> 01:29:05,847
Well... (clears throat)
1875
01:29:05,880 --> 01:29:07,548
I told you before,
there's too much business--
1876
01:29:07,582 --> 01:29:08,649
with the pipe, with the lighter,
1877
01:29:08,683 --> 01:29:10,417
with the camera,
with the eyebrow--
1878
01:29:10,450 --> 01:29:12,520
but aside from that,
on the whole,
1879
01:29:12,553 --> 01:29:14,789
in answer to your question...
Sit down.
1880
01:29:17,158 --> 01:29:18,793
You're doing him just right.
1881
01:29:18,826 --> 01:29:21,461
In fact, in my opinion,
you didn't just become Augie.
1882
01:29:21,494 --> 01:29:22,830
He became you.
1883
01:29:22,864 --> 01:29:23,931
I feel lost.
1884
01:29:23,965 --> 01:29:25,533
-Good.
-He's such a wounded guy.
1885
01:29:25,566 --> 01:29:27,134
I feel like my heart
is getting broken--
1886
01:29:27,168 --> 01:29:28,468
my own, personal heart--
1887
01:29:28,502 --> 01:29:29,604
-every night.
-Good.
1888
01:29:29,637 --> 01:29:31,138
-Do I just keep doing it?
-Yes.
1889
01:29:31,172 --> 01:29:32,874
-Without knowing anything?
-Yes.
1890
01:29:32,907 --> 01:29:34,742
Isn't there supposed to be
some kind of an answer
1891
01:29:34,775 --> 01:29:36,443
out there
in the cosmic wilderness?
1892
01:29:36,476 --> 01:29:37,578
Woodrow's line
about the meaning of life.
1893
01:29:37,612 --> 01:29:38,880
-"Maybe there is one."
-Right.
1894
01:29:38,913 --> 01:29:40,413
Well, that's my question.
1895
01:29:42,049 --> 01:29:43,951
I still don't understand
the play.
1896
01:29:43,985 --> 01:29:45,519
Doesn't matter.
1897
01:29:45,553 --> 01:29:47,955
Just keep telling the story.
1898
01:29:48,956 --> 01:29:50,157
You're doing him right.
1899
01:29:50,191 --> 01:29:51,759
I need a breath of fresh air.
1900
01:29:51,792 --> 01:29:52,894
Huh.
1901
01:29:52,927 --> 01:29:55,462
Okay, but you won't find one.
1902
01:29:58,065 --> 01:29:59,767
Right.
1903
01:29:59,800 --> 01:30:01,836
♪ ♪
1904
01:30:03,804 --> 01:30:05,806
(clock ticking)
1905
01:30:12,246 --> 01:30:14,649
(wind whistling)
1906
01:30:19,053 --> 01:30:20,855
WOMAN:
Hello.
1907
01:30:22,823 --> 01:30:25,693
Oh. It's you, the wife
who played my actress.
1908
01:30:25,726 --> 01:30:28,996
Hmm. My scene was cut
after one rehearsal.
1909
01:30:30,231 --> 01:30:32,934
-We still use your photograph.
-Hmm.
1910
01:30:36,037 --> 01:30:38,506
You remember the dialogue?
1911
01:30:39,640 --> 01:30:40,942
No.
1912
01:30:42,243 --> 01:30:45,179
We meet in a dream
on the alien's planet.
1913
01:30:45,212 --> 01:30:47,214
Magnavox-27.
1914
01:30:47,248 --> 01:30:49,750
Actually,
it's one of the moons of it.
1915
01:30:50,718 --> 01:30:53,955
You say,
"Did you talk to the alien?"
1916
01:30:53,988 --> 01:30:57,091
I say, "Not yet."
1917
01:30:57,124 --> 01:30:59,794
You say, "Why not?
I thought for sure
1918
01:30:59,827 --> 01:31:02,797
you would've yelled at him
or made him laugh."
1919
01:31:02,830 --> 01:31:06,968
I say, "Or asked him
the secrets of the universe?"
1920
01:31:07,001 --> 01:31:09,003
You say, "Exactly."
1921
01:31:10,237 --> 01:31:13,473
I say, "I think he's shy."
1922
01:31:14,709 --> 01:31:16,110
You say,
1923
01:31:16,143 --> 01:31:18,946
"So's Woodrow, but I'm sure
he'll grow out of it.
1924
01:31:18,980 --> 01:31:21,949
I mean, at least I hope he will,
without a mother."
1925
01:31:23,751 --> 01:31:27,288
I say, "He's a late bloomer,
1926
01:31:27,321 --> 01:31:32,693
but maybe I think
you'll need to replace me."
1927
01:31:32,727 --> 01:31:33,995
You say,
1928
01:31:34,028 --> 01:31:36,998
"What? Why? How? I can't."
1929
01:31:38,299 --> 01:31:42,903
I say, "Maybe I think
you'll need to try.
1930
01:31:45,239 --> 01:31:47,775
I'm not coming back, Augie."
1931
01:31:50,644 --> 01:31:53,881
Then you take a picture of me
and start crying,
1932
01:31:53,914 --> 01:31:55,883
and I say...
1933
01:31:58,085 --> 01:32:00,654
"I hope it comes out."
1934
01:32:03,791 --> 01:32:05,760
And I say,
1935
01:32:05,793 --> 01:32:08,129
"All my pictures come out."
1936
01:32:08,162 --> 01:32:09,563
(camera clicks)
1937
01:32:19,840 --> 01:32:21,609
Hmm.
1938
01:32:21,642 --> 01:32:23,277
Good memory. Why'd they cut it?
1939
01:32:23,310 --> 01:32:24,912
Running time.
1940
01:32:24,945 --> 01:32:26,647
Now I'm First Lady-in-Waiting
to the Queen Consort
1941
01:32:26,680 --> 01:32:28,149
in Fruit of a Withering Vine.
1942
01:32:28,182 --> 01:32:29,884
You missed your cue.
1943
01:32:29,917 --> 01:32:31,919
June and the cowboy are already
necking in the station wagon.
1944
01:32:31,952 --> 01:32:34,922
They're bandaging
the understudy's hand right now.
1945
01:32:36,223 --> 01:32:37,925
Oh. It's you.
1946
01:32:37,958 --> 01:32:39,927
We almost would've had
a scene together.
1947
01:32:39,960 --> 01:32:42,029
-Hello.
-Hello.
1948
01:32:42,063 --> 01:32:44,065
(clock ticking)
1949
01:32:44,098 --> 01:32:47,935
Six months into the run,
the company received the news:
1950
01:32:47,968 --> 01:32:50,704
a catastrophic
automobile accident.
1951
01:32:50,738 --> 01:32:52,807
Conrad Earp, American playwright
1952
01:32:52,840 --> 01:32:55,376
unequaled in passion
and imagination,
1953
01:32:55,409 --> 01:32:57,078
dead at 50.
1954
01:32:57,111 --> 01:32:59,346
CONRAD: I'd like to make
a scene where all my characters
1955
01:32:59,380 --> 01:33:00,981
are each gently,
privately seduced
1956
01:33:01,015 --> 01:33:03,284
into the deepest, dreamiest
slumber of their lives
1957
01:33:03,317 --> 01:33:04,985
as a result
of their shared experience
1958
01:33:05,019 --> 01:33:07,955
of a bewildering and bedazzling
celestial mystery,
1959
01:33:07,988 --> 01:33:10,224
-but I don't know
how to write it. -(snoring)
1960
01:33:11,158 --> 01:33:13,828
You can't wake up
if you don't fall asleep.
1961
01:33:13,861 --> 01:33:15,362
-What was that?
-(murmuring)
1962
01:33:15,396 --> 01:33:17,031
What's happening?
1963
01:33:17,998 --> 01:33:19,767
You can't wake up
if you don't fall asleep.
1964
01:33:19,800 --> 01:33:20,868
-What?
-That's not true.
1965
01:33:20,901 --> 01:33:22,303
-Say it again.
-Who cares?
1966
01:33:22,336 --> 01:33:25,106
You can't wake up
if you don't fall asleep.
1967
01:33:25,139 --> 01:33:26,207
-Why should you?
-Maybe not.
1968
01:33:26,240 --> 01:33:27,808
-Of course.
-Uh, yes.
1969
01:33:27,842 --> 01:33:29,777
-You can't wake up...
-If you don't fall asleep.
1970
01:33:29,810 --> 01:33:31,979
You can't wake up
if you don't fall asleep.
1971
01:33:32,012 --> 01:33:33,981
You can't wake up if you
don't fall asleep.
1972
01:33:34,014 --> 01:33:36,150
You can't wake up
if you don't fall asleep.
1973
01:33:36,183 --> 01:33:38,786
ALL: You can't wake up if you
don't fall asleep.
1974
01:33:38,819 --> 01:33:41,021
You can't wake up
if you don't fall asleep.
1975
01:33:41,055 --> 01:33:43,390
You can't wake up if you
don't fall asleep.
1976
01:33:43,424 --> 01:33:45,826
You can't wake up
if you don't fall asleep.
1977
01:33:45,860 --> 01:33:48,062
You can't wake up if you
don't fall asleep.
1978
01:33:48,095 --> 01:33:50,698
You can't wake up
if you don't fall asleep.
1979
01:33:50,731 --> 01:33:53,000
You can't wake up if you
don't fall asleep.
1980
01:33:53,033 --> 01:33:55,136
You can't wake up
if you don't fall asleep.
1981
01:33:55,169 --> 01:33:57,738
You can't wake up if you
don't fall asleep.
1982
01:33:57,771 --> 01:34:00,875
You can't wake up
if you don't fall asleep.
1983
01:34:13,053 --> 01:34:15,856
(insects trilling)
1984
01:34:21,162 --> 01:34:25,065
("How High the Moon"
by Les Paul & Mary Ford playing)
1985
01:34:28,836 --> 01:34:32,273
♪ Somewhere there's music,
how faint the tune ♪
1986
01:34:32,306 --> 01:34:35,409
♪ Somewhere there's heaven,
how high the moon... ♪
1987
01:34:35,442 --> 01:34:38,679
Uh, where'd they go?
1988
01:34:39,346 --> 01:34:40,881
Good morning, Mr. Steenbeck.
1989
01:34:40,915 --> 01:34:42,917
Juice preference, please--
apple, orange or tomato.
1990
01:34:42,950 --> 01:34:44,785
Where'd they go? Everybody.
1991
01:34:44,818 --> 01:34:46,187
Of course. I understand.
1992
01:34:46,220 --> 01:34:48,255
The president lifted
the quarantine after all,
1993
01:34:48,289 --> 01:34:49,890
at midnight.
1994
01:34:49,924 --> 01:34:51,759
He sent the whole gang home--
the troops, the cowboys,
1995
01:34:51,792 --> 01:34:53,227
the Junior Stargazers
and Space Cadets.
1996
01:34:53,260 --> 01:34:55,863
You are free to return
back to wherever you came from.
1997
01:34:55,896 --> 01:34:57,731
We had 11 checkouts
this morning.
1998
01:34:57,765 --> 01:34:59,800
I guess you overslept.
1999
01:34:59,833 --> 01:35:01,402
They returned your
science projects, by the way.
2000
01:35:01,435 --> 01:35:03,137
Hmm.
2001
01:35:04,338 --> 01:35:06,707
-Tomato.
-Right away.
2002
01:35:07,775 --> 01:35:09,810
(door opens)
2003
01:35:13,080 --> 01:35:16,483
The plan was to shovel it up
and take her with us.
2004
01:35:16,518 --> 01:35:19,954
Like I said,
we'll exhume the Tupperware.
2005
01:35:19,987 --> 01:35:22,489
We don't have any burial rights
to this plot here.
2006
01:35:22,524 --> 01:35:24,391
I would question
whether it even is a plot.
2007
01:35:24,425 --> 01:35:25,960
It isn't.
2008
01:35:25,993 --> 01:35:27,962
-Don't murder my mother's ashes!
-He's killing her!
2009
01:35:27,995 --> 01:35:30,898
No, no, no, no. Let us pray.
2010
01:35:34,969 --> 01:35:36,270
Poppy!
2011
01:35:37,905 --> 01:35:40,341
Dear Heavenly Father,
we thank thee for the life
2012
01:35:40,374 --> 01:35:44,378
of this magnificent woman,
who was once just a little girl
2013
01:35:44,411 --> 01:35:46,981
like these three
witches in training.
2014
01:35:47,014 --> 01:35:48,516
-Not in training.
-We are witches.
2015
01:35:48,550 --> 01:35:50,117
Part witch, part alien.
2016
01:35:50,150 --> 01:35:52,554
Like these three witches
at one time.
2017
01:35:52,587 --> 01:35:55,489
We had no intention
of permanently burying her
2018
01:35:55,523 --> 01:35:57,491
next to this unmarked cactus,
2019
01:35:57,525 --> 01:35:59,059
but I no longer have
the strength
2020
01:35:59,093 --> 01:36:02,129
to fight for her dignity,
nor neither does Augie.
2021
01:36:02,162 --> 01:36:03,964
-Do you?
-No.
2022
01:36:03,998 --> 01:36:06,934
So we'll defer to the wishes
of her stubborn daughters.
2023
01:36:06,967 --> 01:36:10,505
Woodrow, any final farewell?
2024
01:36:10,538 --> 01:36:12,273
I don't believe in God anymore.
2025
01:36:12,306 --> 01:36:13,807
Fair enough.
2026
01:36:13,841 --> 01:36:16,877
-Amen.
-GIRLS: Amen.
2027
01:36:16,910 --> 01:36:19,413
Friskity, triskity,
briskity, boo,
2028
01:36:19,446 --> 01:36:22,550
knickerty, knockerty,
tockerty, too.
2029
01:36:22,584 --> 01:36:24,885
Mama is in the ground.
2030
01:36:24,918 --> 01:36:27,288
Say the prayer for Mama.
2031
01:36:27,321 --> 01:36:29,857
Mama, we'll say the prayer, too.
2032
01:36:29,890 --> 01:36:31,425
You are beautiful...
2033
01:36:31,458 --> 01:36:33,093
(door opens, bell jingles)
2034
01:36:33,127 --> 01:36:34,862
AUGIE: Five orders of flapjacks
and two black coffees.
2035
01:36:34,895 --> 01:36:36,463
-(door closes)
-Thanks.
2036
01:36:36,497 --> 01:36:39,433
("The Streets of Laredo"
by Bing Crosby playing quietly)
2037
01:36:39,466 --> 01:36:40,968
Who needs to pee?
2038
01:36:41,001 --> 01:36:42,604
-Nobody needs to pee.
-I don't. -Not me.
2039
01:36:42,637 --> 01:36:44,438
WAITRESS: How about a glass
of strawberry milk?
2040
01:36:44,471 --> 01:36:46,340
-GIRLS: Mmm.
-Yes, please.
2041
01:36:47,975 --> 01:36:50,477
Somebody win that scholarship?
2042
01:36:50,512 --> 01:36:52,514
I did.
2043
01:36:52,547 --> 01:36:54,248
-When?
-Last night.
2044
01:36:54,281 --> 01:36:57,151
General Gibson slipped it to me
in line at the communal showers.
2045
01:36:57,184 --> 01:36:59,186
I think he just wanted
to get it over with.
2046
01:36:59,219 --> 01:37:01,523
It's actually a standard-sized
check of typical dimensions.
2047
01:37:01,556 --> 01:37:03,591
The big one's only for show.
2048
01:37:03,625 --> 01:37:05,527
-Wow.
-Congratulations, Woodrow.
2049
01:37:05,560 --> 01:37:06,994
That's, uh, stupendous.
2050
01:37:07,027 --> 01:37:08,362
You must be
some kind of a genius.
2051
01:37:08,395 --> 01:37:09,597
I agree.
2052
01:37:09,631 --> 01:37:12,232
You must be
some kind of brainiac.
2053
01:37:13,233 --> 01:37:15,069
Has it got any strings
attached to it?
2054
01:37:15,102 --> 01:37:16,604
It's made out to you personally.
2055
01:37:16,638 --> 01:37:18,906
How you plan to use it?
2056
01:37:20,074 --> 01:37:22,242
I'll probably spend it
on my girlfriend.
2057
01:37:26,146 --> 01:37:29,016
What do you write
in that little book?
2058
01:37:30,250 --> 01:37:32,086
Next year's project,
confidentially.
2059
01:37:32,119 --> 01:37:34,121
-Gee whiz. Look at that. Whoa.
-Wow. Is that possible?
2060
01:37:34,154 --> 01:37:36,090
-Is that possible?
-(footsteps approaching)
2061
01:37:36,123 --> 01:37:39,460
WAITRESS: Midge Campbell
left you her address.
2062
01:37:39,493 --> 01:37:42,262
It's just a post office box.
2063
01:37:44,298 --> 01:37:46,033
(whispers): What happened
that night I saw the...
2064
01:37:46,066 --> 01:37:47,468
That's none of
your business, Stanley.
2065
01:37:47,502 --> 01:37:49,169
I know. Of course it isn't.
2066
01:37:49,203 --> 01:37:50,938
I only ask because
Woodrow told me
2067
01:37:50,971 --> 01:37:52,507
-Dinah told him.
-I understand. I understand.
2068
01:37:52,540 --> 01:37:54,108
I understand.
2069
01:37:54,141 --> 01:37:56,644
I went to law school
with her former agent.
2070
01:37:56,678 --> 01:37:58,979
Anyway, I don't object.
2071
01:37:59,012 --> 01:38:02,149
She's actually
a very gifted comedienne.
2072
01:38:02,182 --> 01:38:03,551
That's true.
2073
01:38:03,585 --> 01:38:07,154
-(distant explosion)
-(rumbling)
2074
01:38:07,187 --> 01:38:09,423
CASHIER:
Another atom bomb test.
2075
01:38:12,059 --> 01:38:15,329
-(gunfire outside)
-(siren wailing)
2076
01:38:25,172 --> 01:38:28,409
("Freight Train" by The Charles
McDevitt Skiffle Group playing)
2077
01:38:32,212 --> 01:38:34,415
♪ Freight train, freight train ♪
2078
01:38:34,448 --> 01:38:36,150
♪ Going so fast ♪
2079
01:38:36,183 --> 01:38:38,285
♪ Freight train, freight train ♪
2080
01:38:38,318 --> 01:38:40,087
♪ Going so fast ♪
2081
01:38:40,120 --> 01:38:42,990
♪ I don't know
what train he's on ♪
2082
01:38:43,023 --> 01:38:45,392
-♪ Won't you tell me... ♪
-(camera clicks)
2083
01:38:45,426 --> 01:38:47,461
Woodrow, let's go.
2084
01:38:47,494 --> 01:38:49,531
♪ ♪
2085
01:38:55,102 --> 01:38:56,604
♪ Don't know where ♪
2086
01:38:56,638 --> 01:38:58,972
-♪ He's heading for ♪
-(engine starts)
2087
01:38:59,006 --> 01:39:00,374
♪ What he's done ♪
2088
01:39:00,407 --> 01:39:02,710
-♪ Against the law ♪
-(train whistle blows)
2089
01:39:02,744 --> 01:39:06,013
♪ Got no future, got no hope ♪
2090
01:39:06,046 --> 01:39:09,651
♪ Just nothing but the rope ♪
2091
01:39:09,684 --> 01:39:12,085
♪ ♪
2092
01:39:17,725 --> 01:39:19,594
♪ Freight train, freight train ♪
2093
01:39:19,627 --> 01:39:21,328
♪ Going so fast ♪
2094
01:39:21,361 --> 01:39:23,565
♪ Freight train, freight train ♪
2095
01:39:23,598 --> 01:39:25,299
♪ Going so fast ♪
2096
01:39:25,332 --> 01:39:28,068
♪ I don't know
what train he's on ♪
2097
01:39:28,101 --> 01:39:30,103
-(roadrunner chitters)
-♪ Won't you tell me ♪
2098
01:39:30,137 --> 01:39:32,607
♪ Where he's gone ♪
2099
01:39:32,640 --> 01:39:35,075
♪ ♪
2100
01:39:40,447 --> 01:39:44,318
♪ He lost his reason,
lost his life ♪
2101
01:39:44,351 --> 01:39:48,222
♪ He killed his friend
in mortal strife ♪
2102
01:39:48,255 --> 01:39:51,358
♪ He must keep moving
like the rolling skies ♪
2103
01:39:51,391 --> 01:39:55,597
♪ Just a-waitin' till he dies ♪
2104
01:39:55,630 --> 01:39:58,031
♪ ♪
2105
01:40:03,337 --> 01:40:05,405
♪ Freight train, freight train ♪
2106
01:40:05,439 --> 01:40:07,174
♪ Going so fast ♪
2107
01:40:07,207 --> 01:40:09,109
♪ Freight train, freight train ♪
2108
01:40:09,142 --> 01:40:11,111
♪ Going so fast ♪
2109
01:40:11,144 --> 01:40:14,181
♪ I don't know
what train he's on ♪
2110
01:40:14,214 --> 01:40:18,385
♪ Won't you tell me
where he's gone ♪
2111
01:40:18,418 --> 01:40:20,454
♪ ♪
2112
01:40:26,326 --> 01:40:30,264
♪ When he dies,
just bury him, please ♪
2113
01:40:30,297 --> 01:40:34,167
♪ Way down the end
of old Chestnut Street ♪
2114
01:40:34,201 --> 01:40:37,371
♪ Poplars at his head and feet ♪
2115
01:40:37,404 --> 01:40:41,843
♪ And tell them
he's gone to sleep ♪
2116
01:40:41,876 --> 01:40:44,311
♪ ♪
2117
01:40:49,283 --> 01:40:51,418
♪ Freight train, freight train ♪
2118
01:40:51,451 --> 01:40:53,120
♪ Going so fast ♪
2119
01:40:53,153 --> 01:40:55,122
♪ Freight train, freight train ♪
2120
01:40:55,155 --> 01:40:57,124
♪ Going so fast ♪
2121
01:40:57,157 --> 01:41:00,160
♪ I don't know
what train he's on ♪
2122
01:41:00,193 --> 01:41:03,865
♪ Won't you tell me
where he's gone. ♪
2123
01:41:03,898 --> 01:41:06,333
♪ ♪
2124
01:41:16,711 --> 01:41:18,646
(song fades)
2125
01:41:18,680 --> 01:41:21,081
(wind howling)
2126
01:41:37,264 --> 01:41:40,400
("You Can't Wake Up..."
by Jarvis Cocker playing)
2127
01:41:40,434 --> 01:41:44,505
♪ You ♪
2128
01:41:46,808 --> 01:41:50,177
♪ Can't wake up ♪
2129
01:41:50,210 --> 01:41:53,815
♪ If you don't fall asleep ♪
2130
01:41:53,848 --> 01:41:57,652
♪ You can't fall in love ♪
2131
01:41:57,685 --> 01:42:01,321
♪ And land on your feet ♪
2132
01:42:01,355 --> 01:42:04,759
♪ You won't smell the roses ♪
2133
01:42:04,792 --> 01:42:08,730
♪ If you never plant a seed ♪
2134
01:42:08,763 --> 01:42:11,799
♪ And you can't wake up ♪
2135
01:42:11,833 --> 01:42:16,537
♪ If you don't fall asleep ♪
2136
01:42:19,540 --> 01:42:23,343
♪ You can't make an entrance ♪
2137
01:42:23,377 --> 01:42:26,279
♪ If you keep missing your cue ♪
2138
01:42:27,949 --> 01:42:30,350
♪ And you won't pick a winner ♪
2139
01:42:30,384 --> 01:42:34,956
♪ Till you learn how to choose ♪
2140
01:42:34,989 --> 01:42:38,191
♪ You'll never find
the treasure ♪
2141
01:42:38,225 --> 01:42:41,763
♪ Unless you dig deep ♪
2142
01:42:41,796 --> 01:42:44,899
♪ And you can't wake up ♪
2143
01:42:44,932 --> 01:42:48,736
♪ If you don't fall asleep ♪
2144
01:42:52,372 --> 01:42:55,943
♪ Oh, you'll never ♪
2145
01:42:55,977 --> 01:42:59,781
♪ Have memories ♪
2146
01:42:59,814 --> 01:43:03,350
♪ Worth keeping ♪
2147
01:43:05,953 --> 01:43:10,692
♪ Oh, you'll never ♪
2148
01:43:10,725 --> 01:43:13,895
♪ Find the truth ♪
2149
01:43:13,928 --> 01:43:18,331
♪ You are seeking ♪
2150
01:43:24,304 --> 01:43:28,375
♪ While you are sleeping ♪
2151
01:43:32,379 --> 01:43:36,718
♪ But you can't wake up ♪
2152
01:43:36,751 --> 01:43:40,454
♪ If you don't fall asleep ♪
2153
01:43:40,487 --> 01:43:44,357
♪ So go live your dreams ♪
2154
01:43:44,391 --> 01:43:47,294
♪ And live them real deep ♪
2155
01:43:47,327 --> 01:43:51,866
♪ There is some counting money ♪
2156
01:43:51,899 --> 01:43:56,938
♪ And there's some
counting sheep ♪
2157
01:43:56,971 --> 01:44:01,274
♪ Oh, you can't wake up ♪
2158
01:44:01,308 --> 01:44:06,514
♪ If you don't fall asleep ♪
2159
01:44:12,452 --> 01:44:15,890
♪ If you don't fall asleep. ♪
2160
01:44:15,923 --> 01:44:18,325
♪ ♪
2161
01:44:47,955 --> 01:44:50,357
♪ ♪
2162
01:44:54,128 --> 01:44:56,531
(song ends)
2163
01:45:01,602 --> 01:45:03,704
WHISPERING VOICE:
Wicked.
159569
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