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1
00:00:14,948 --> 00:00:17,950
Ted:
Now, as you know, aunt robinis a big fan of Halloween...
2
00:00:17,952 --> 00:00:19,785
Always dressing upin crazy costumes...
3
00:00:19,787 --> 00:00:21,553
But she wasn't always that way.
4
00:00:21,555 --> 00:00:25,491
Back in 2005, she thoughtshe was too cool forHalloween,
5
00:00:25,493 --> 00:00:27,059
Unlike aunt lily.
6
00:00:27,061 --> 00:00:29,695
Guess what came
in the mail today?
7
00:00:29,697 --> 00:00:31,196
Our costumes?
Do they rule?
8
00:00:31,198 --> 00:00:32,297
They rule.
9
00:00:32,299 --> 00:00:33,499
And yours is 100% wool,
10
00:00:33,501 --> 00:00:35,167
So you won't get hypothermia
11
00:00:35,169 --> 00:00:36,802
Like last year.
12
00:00:36,804 --> 00:00:40,139
Tarzan nipples blue.
13
00:00:40,141 --> 00:00:41,807
You know what I love
about Halloween?
14
00:00:41,809 --> 00:00:42,975
It's the one night of the year
15
00:00:42,977 --> 00:00:46,045
Chicks use to unleash
their inner ho-bag.
16
00:00:46,047 --> 00:00:47,012
If a girl dresses up as a witch,
17
00:00:47,014 --> 00:00:48,814
She's a slutty witch.
18
00:00:48,816 --> 00:00:51,817
If she's a cat,
she's a slutty cat.
19
00:00:51,819 --> 00:00:52,819
If she's a nurse...
20
00:00:52,820 --> 00:00:54,153
Wow, we get it.
21
00:00:55,155 --> 00:00:56,955
She's a slutty nurse.
22
00:00:57,924 --> 00:00:59,525
Robin, what are you doing
for Halloween?
23
00:00:59,527 --> 00:01:00,527
Oh, I don't know.
24
00:01:00,528 --> 00:01:01,827
Probably hanging out with mike,
25
00:01:01,829 --> 00:01:03,262
This guy I've been seeing.
26
00:01:03,264 --> 00:01:05,197
Mike? There's a mike?
27
00:01:05,199 --> 00:01:07,599
You have a boyfriend
and you haven't told us?
28
00:01:07,601 --> 00:01:09,034
No, I mean, he's
not my boyfriend.
29
00:01:09,036 --> 00:01:10,402
He's just this guy
I've been seeing
30
00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:11,703
For a couple of weeks.
31
00:01:11,705 --> 00:01:13,038
( Sing-songy ):
Boyfriend!
32
00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:14,406
So why haven't we met him?
33
00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:17,009
We're not really ready
to go public yet.
34
00:01:17,011 --> 00:01:19,211
( Sing-songy):
Married.
35
00:01:19,213 --> 00:01:22,081
How about we go on a
Halloween double date?
36
00:01:22,083 --> 00:01:23,348
I don't know, we
were kind of thinking
37
00:01:23,350 --> 00:01:24,850
About staying at
home and dressing up
38
00:01:24,852 --> 00:01:27,352
As naked people.
39
00:01:27,354 --> 00:01:30,055
Come on, robin, trot
out your new fella.
40
00:01:30,057 --> 00:01:32,091
Let us judge and evaluate
him behind your back.
41
00:01:32,093 --> 00:01:33,158
It'll be fun.
42
00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:36,061
Hey, ted, you'll never guess
what happened.
43
00:01:36,063 --> 00:01:37,096
Your costumes came?
44
00:01:37,098 --> 00:01:38,430
Our cost... Yes.
45
00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:39,865
That is why we're best friends.
46
00:01:39,867 --> 00:01:42,234
Hey, ted, what are you
doing for Halloween?
47
00:01:42,236 --> 00:01:43,102
Well...
48
00:01:43,104 --> 00:01:44,369
( groaning ) what?
49
00:01:44,371 --> 00:01:46,038
Every Halloween, ted waits
50
00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:47,639
For the slutty pumpkin.
51
00:01:47,641 --> 00:01:49,942
What's the "slutty pumpkin"?
52
00:01:49,944 --> 00:01:51,877
You mean who is
the slutty pumpkin.
53
00:01:51,879 --> 00:01:53,946
It was four years ago...
54
00:01:53,948 --> 00:01:56,115
I was at this Halloween partyup on the roof of ourbuilding.
55
00:01:56,117 --> 00:01:57,649
I'm about to call itan early night
56
00:01:57,651 --> 00:01:59,885
When out of nowhereappeared this girl
57
00:01:59,887 --> 00:02:03,222
In the sexiest pumpkin costume.
58
00:02:03,224 --> 00:02:06,158
Wait, how can a pumpkin
costume be sexy?
59
00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:08,327
It was carved
in strategic places.
60
00:02:09,062 --> 00:02:10,462
So, uh, we're at the bar,
61
00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:12,097
And I see her mix kahlua...
62
00:02:12,099 --> 00:02:13,332
Kahlua and root beer.
63
00:02:13,334 --> 00:02:15,400
A cocktail she invented herself.
64
00:02:15,402 --> 00:02:16,068
And she called it...
65
00:02:16,070 --> 00:02:17,436
"the tootsie roll..."
66
00:02:17,438 --> 00:02:18,438
All:
Because it tastes
67
00:02:18,439 --> 00:02:20,139
Like an alcoholic tootsie roll.
Hey!
68
00:02:20,141 --> 00:02:21,907
Can I please tell the story?
69
00:02:21,909 --> 00:02:23,242
So we had
this instant connection.
70
00:02:23,244 --> 00:02:25,811
She gave me her number,
but then...
71
00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:27,913
All:
Something went terribly wrong.
72
00:02:27,915 --> 00:02:29,748
Guys!
73
00:02:29,750 --> 00:02:31,350
Then something went
terribly wrong.
74
00:02:31,352 --> 00:02:34,286
Happy Halloween.
75
00:02:34,288 --> 00:02:36,955
Sonny, where's cher?
76
00:02:36,957 --> 00:02:40,526
Cher?
Right here, babe.
77
00:02:40,528 --> 00:02:42,761
I just met the perfect woman.
78
00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:45,464
She's funny, she's beautiful,
79
00:02:45,466 --> 00:02:46,698
She loves star wars.
80
00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:48,433
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
what's her take on ewoks?
81
00:02:48,435 --> 00:02:49,201
Loves 'em.
82
00:02:49,203 --> 00:02:52,304
I don't know why people
are so cynical about ewoks.
83
00:02:52,306 --> 00:02:54,840
The rebellion would have failed
without the ewoks.
84
00:02:54,842 --> 00:02:56,308
And get this:
She's a marine biologist.
85
00:02:56,310 --> 00:02:58,443
She spent a year in antarctica
studying penguins.
86
00:02:58,445 --> 00:02:59,445
Oh, penguins are cool.
87
00:02:59,446 --> 00:03:01,213
Kind of like
black and white ewoks.
88
00:03:01,215 --> 00:03:02,381
I approve.
89
00:03:03,216 --> 00:03:04,483
Hey, where's my,
uh, kit-kat?
90
00:03:04,485 --> 00:03:06,185
I put it right
here on this table.
I don't know,
91
00:03:06,187 --> 00:03:08,320
But we've plenty
of chocolate here.
92
00:03:08,322 --> 00:03:09,321
No, no, you don't understand.
93
00:03:09,323 --> 00:03:11,023
I need that kit-kat...
she wrote her number
94
00:03:11,025 --> 00:03:12,124
On that wrapper. Where is it?
95
00:03:12,126 --> 00:03:13,559
Uh-oh.
96
00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:16,962
Hey, dracula!
97
00:03:16,964 --> 00:03:18,363
Come on, give me the...
Give me it!
98
00:03:21,734 --> 00:03:23,335
Where's the kit-kat?
99
00:03:23,337 --> 00:03:26,004
Where's the kit-kat?!
100
00:03:26,006 --> 00:03:29,007
Never found her number,
never saw her again.
101
00:03:29,009 --> 00:03:30,042
But every year, they have
102
00:03:30,044 --> 00:03:31,143
A Halloween party
up on the roof,
103
00:03:31,145 --> 00:03:32,578
So that's where I'll be.
104
00:03:32,580 --> 00:03:34,346
You know, ted,
it's been four years.
105
00:03:34,348 --> 00:03:36,982
She could be engaged or married,
106
00:03:36,984 --> 00:03:40,185
Or, god forbid, fat.
107
00:03:40,187 --> 00:03:41,553
I don't know,
108
00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:43,989
I got a feeling...
this could be the year.
109
00:03:43,991 --> 00:03:46,258
Halloween is a night
of wonder and magic.
110
00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:47,260
( All groan )
111
00:03:47,261 --> 00:03:48,427
All right, bring the mockery,
112
00:03:48,429 --> 00:03:49,561
Fine, I can take it.
113
00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:51,363
But come on, wouldn't it be
the coolest story ever
114
00:03:51,365 --> 00:03:53,485
If the slutty pumpkin
turned out to be my future wife?
115
00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:57,202
Oh, on the off-chance
that that could happen,
116
00:03:57,204 --> 00:04:00,005
Maybe we should stop calling her
the slutty pumpkin.
117
00:04:00,007 --> 00:04:01,206
That's a really good point.
118
00:04:01,208 --> 00:04:02,574
That's a good idea.
119
00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:05,377
Ted, is your world ready
120
00:04:05,379 --> 00:04:07,512
To be rocked, rocked, rocked?
121
00:04:07,514 --> 00:04:08,947
Can't wait.
122
00:04:11,784 --> 00:04:13,218
So...
123
00:04:13,220 --> 00:04:15,220
What do you think?
124
00:04:15,222 --> 00:04:16,188
So, what do you think?
125
00:04:16,190 --> 00:04:17,956
( Squawks )
126
00:04:17,958 --> 00:04:19,391
Wow.
127
00:04:19,393 --> 00:04:21,293
Marshall, are you wearing
eyeliner?
128
00:04:21,295 --> 00:04:22,194
Oh, yeah.
129
00:04:22,196 --> 00:04:24,329
Weirdly hot, right?
130
00:04:25,365 --> 00:04:28,033
We are so going to win the
costume contest this year.
131
00:04:28,035 --> 00:04:30,902
First prize: $50 gift
certificate at the bar.
132
00:04:30,904 --> 00:04:32,471
And how much did you pay
for your costumes?
133
00:04:32,473 --> 00:04:33,805
$100.
134
00:04:33,807 --> 00:04:35,040
Each.
135
00:04:35,042 --> 00:04:38,710
Well, I think
you guys look great.
136
00:04:38,712 --> 00:04:42,314
What are you going as?
Oh, like I even need to ask.
137
00:04:42,316 --> 00:04:44,049
Hey, I want the slutty pumpkin
to recognize me,
138
00:04:44,051 --> 00:04:47,185
And she knows me as...
A hanging chad.
139
00:04:48,388 --> 00:04:49,821
What? She thought
it was hilarious.
140
00:04:49,823 --> 00:04:51,223
Yeah, four years ago,
141
00:04:51,225 --> 00:04:54,226
But nobody remembers
what the hell a hanging chad is.
142
00:04:54,228 --> 00:04:55,427
What a sad commentary
143
00:04:55,429 --> 00:04:56,828
On our national
attention span...
144
00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:58,830
That we could forget
such a turbulent time
145
00:04:58,832 --> 00:05:01,066
In our political history.
146
00:05:01,068 --> 00:05:02,301
Sad commentary.
147
00:05:02,303 --> 00:05:03,303
( Squawks)
148
00:05:03,304 --> 00:05:04,403
All right,
149
00:05:04,405 --> 00:05:05,405
Polly got to pee.
150
00:05:05,406 --> 00:05:07,239
Again?
151
00:05:07,241 --> 00:05:08,674
Where you going?
152
00:05:08,676 --> 00:05:11,176
It's an elaborate costume.
153
00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:17,149
( "Danger zone" by kenny loggisplaying )
154
00:05:24,090 --> 00:05:29,494
♪ highway to the danger zone
155
00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:34,866
♪ gonna take you right into
the danger zone... ♪
156
00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:35,868
( Music stops)
157
00:05:35,869 --> 00:05:38,103
No, no, not again,
not this year.
158
00:05:38,105 --> 00:05:39,438
You're going as my wingman.
159
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:40,440
Flight suit up.
160
00:05:40,441 --> 00:05:41,441
No thanks.
161
00:05:41,442 --> 00:05:43,608
I'm sticking with
the hanging chad.
162
00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:45,310
Oh, you're dangerous, maverick.
163
00:05:45,312 --> 00:05:47,846
Your ego's writing checks
your body can't cash.
164
00:05:48,448 --> 00:05:49,548
Okay.
165
00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:53,285
Here's the plan,
and I crap you not.
166
00:05:53,287 --> 00:05:54,453
I'm getting us
167
00:05:54,455 --> 00:05:58,323
Into the victoria's secret
Halloween party.
168
00:05:58,325 --> 00:05:59,891
Trust me, by the end
of the night,
169
00:05:59,893 --> 00:06:02,561
Your chad will not be hanging.
170
00:06:02,563 --> 00:06:04,329
We can get rejected
by supermodels
171
00:06:04,331 --> 00:06:05,331
Any night of the year.
172
00:06:05,332 --> 00:06:06,498
Tonight I'm going
up to the roof,
173
00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:07,700
I'm going to have a few beers,
174
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:09,302
I'm going to wait for
the slutty pumpkin.
175
00:06:09,303 --> 00:06:11,169
It's just what I do.
176
00:06:11,171 --> 00:06:13,705
Hmm. Victoria's secret models
177
00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:16,141
Prancing around in bras
and panties...
178
00:06:16,143 --> 00:06:20,712
Or yale preppies reuniting
their stupid a capella group.
179
00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,581
What's that, left hand?
"right hand sucks"?
180
00:06:22,583 --> 00:06:24,216
Word.
181
00:06:24,218 --> 00:06:25,484
Heading up to the roof.
182
00:06:25,486 --> 00:06:27,552
Well, boys, looks like
it's just the three of us.
183
00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:29,354
What's that? "self five"?
184
00:06:29,356 --> 00:06:30,422
Nice. We out.
185
00:06:32,925 --> 00:06:34,926
Hey, chad, how's it hanging?
186
00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:37,529
Hey, word play, funny.
187
00:06:37,531 --> 00:06:40,232
Whoo, nice outfit.
188
00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:41,366
I'm a parrot.
189
00:06:41,368 --> 00:06:43,168
You sure are.
190
00:06:43,170 --> 00:06:44,170
Where's mike?
191
00:06:44,171 --> 00:06:45,171
He's meeting me here.
192
00:06:45,172 --> 00:06:46,738
I ran late covering
the Halloween parade
193
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,039
In the village.
194
00:06:48,041 --> 00:06:50,342
There are, like,
a zillion gay pirates this year.
195
00:06:50,344 --> 00:06:53,278
Seriously,
does my eyeliner look okay?
196
00:06:53,280 --> 00:06:55,113
Yes, it's weirdly hot.
197
00:06:55,115 --> 00:06:57,282
So, where's your costume?
198
00:06:57,284 --> 00:06:58,750
( Knocking )
uh, you know,
mike and I joked
199
00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:00,185
About doing something together,
200
00:07:00,187 --> 00:07:02,754
But we decided not to dress up.
201
00:07:03,689 --> 00:07:05,490
Oh, geez.
202
00:07:06,359 --> 00:07:07,426
Hi.
203
00:07:07,428 --> 00:07:08,527
Uh, everyone,
204
00:07:08,529 --> 00:07:09,529
This is michael.
205
00:07:09,530 --> 00:07:11,897
That is not his real hair.
206
00:07:11,899 --> 00:07:13,732
Um, where's your
costume, gretel?
207
00:07:13,734 --> 00:07:15,200
You thought I was...
208
00:07:15,202 --> 00:07:16,968
Oh, I was just kidding.
209
00:07:16,970 --> 00:07:18,770
I've got to stop
making jokes in e-mails.
210
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:21,440
It's so hard to convey tone.
211
00:07:22,542 --> 00:07:24,276
I think we got them beat.
212
00:07:27,213 --> 00:07:29,981
I can't believe you
talked me into this.
213
00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:32,584
I didn't.
You followed me up here.
214
00:07:32,586 --> 00:07:34,920
This party sucks.
215
00:07:34,922 --> 00:07:37,789
There's seven chicks here.
216
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:40,559
There's six chicks here.
217
00:07:40,561 --> 00:07:42,594
Relax. The night is young.
218
00:07:42,596 --> 00:07:44,229
It's going to get better.
219
00:07:44,231 --> 00:07:45,797
Ladies and gentlemen,
220
00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:48,800
As on pitch as they were
at spring fling '95,
221
00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:52,237
It's my pleasure to welcome back
the shaggarats.
222
00:07:52,239 --> 00:07:53,738
Crowd ( cheering ):
Whoo!
223
00:07:53,740 --> 00:07:56,441
Whoo!
224
00:07:56,443 --> 00:08:00,078
♪ My bonnie lies
over the ocean ♪
225
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:03,315
♪ My bonnie lies over the sea ♪
226
00:08:03,317 --> 00:08:07,419
♪ My bonnie lies
over the ocean ♪
227
00:08:07,421 --> 00:08:10,689
♪ Oh, bring back
my bonnie to me ♪
228
00:08:14,293 --> 00:08:16,127
( All giggling)
229
00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:17,762
( mimicking pirate ):
What be a pirate's
230
00:08:17,764 --> 00:08:20,799
Favorite kind of sweater?
231
00:08:20,801 --> 00:08:23,335
Arr-gyle.
232
00:08:24,303 --> 00:08:26,037
Marshall:
And what be
233
00:08:26,039 --> 00:08:31,543
A pirate's favorite
fast food restaurant?
234
00:08:31,545 --> 00:08:34,346
Arr-by's.
235
00:08:35,481 --> 00:08:37,315
'Twould think it
would be arby's.
236
00:08:37,317 --> 00:08:39,885
( Regular voice ):
But, actually, it's
long john silver's.
237
00:08:39,887 --> 00:08:41,286
( All chuckling )
238
00:08:41,288 --> 00:08:43,321
Actually, I kind of
need this hand to eat.
239
00:08:43,323 --> 00:08:45,357
Oh..
240
00:08:45,359 --> 00:08:46,858
( Chuckles)
241
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:48,326
Oh, yeah.
242
00:08:48,328 --> 00:08:49,528
( Both growl like pirates)
243
00:08:49,530 --> 00:08:51,363
Oh, thank you.
244
00:08:51,365 --> 00:08:52,330
I'm starrr... Ving!
245
00:08:52,332 --> 00:08:53,532
Thank you.
246
00:08:55,468 --> 00:08:57,402
It's so nice to meet you, mike.
247
00:08:57,404 --> 00:08:59,004
You guys are
really cute together.
248
00:08:59,006 --> 00:09:01,239
Yeah, we've been spending
a lot of time together.
249
00:09:01,241 --> 00:09:03,761
We're even getting to that point
where we finish each other's...
250
00:09:04,977 --> 00:09:06,311
This cheeseburger is so...
251
00:09:06,313 --> 00:09:08,246
Good. See?
252
00:09:08,248 --> 00:09:10,181
( Chuckles)
253
00:09:10,183 --> 00:09:12,484
I think you won
the dish-off tonight, baby.
254
00:09:12,486 --> 00:09:15,387
This steak totally
bitch-slapped my pork chops.
255
00:09:15,389 --> 00:09:16,688
Marshall:
That may be true,
256
00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:20,525
But your rice pilaf kicked
my spinach in the crotch
257
00:09:20,527 --> 00:09:22,761
So hard it threw up
a little bit.
258
00:09:22,763 --> 00:09:24,496
( Iaughs)
259
00:09:24,498 --> 00:09:25,897
Marshall:
Mmm... Mmm.
260
00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:27,399
Mmm.
261
00:09:27,401 --> 00:09:29,701
Robin, you have to try
this chicken.
262
00:09:29,703 --> 00:09:31,903
Oh, that's good,
I'm okay, thanks.
263
00:09:33,205 --> 00:09:34,439
It's really tasty.
264
00:09:34,441 --> 00:09:37,008
I'm just really feeling
this cheeseburger.
265
00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:38,677
Mike:
Come on,
266
00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:39,945
Just try a little bite.
267
00:09:39,947 --> 00:09:42,614
Dude, I'm kind of
in the zone here.
268
00:09:45,851 --> 00:09:48,453
Oh, for god's sakes.
269
00:09:49,789 --> 00:09:52,991
Really tasty.
270
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:57,495
( Sustaining notes in harmony )
271
00:09:59,065 --> 00:10:02,667
( applause and cheering )
272
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:06,104
Hey.
273
00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:07,839
Hey.
274
00:10:08,808 --> 00:10:10,976
So what does a fella have to do
275
00:10:10,978 --> 00:10:13,912
To get lei'd around here?
276
00:10:13,914 --> 00:10:17,315
Yeah.
277
00:10:17,317 --> 00:10:20,952
Right. 'cause I'm
wearing a lei.
278
00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:24,689
It isn't funny
if you explain the joke.
279
00:10:26,759 --> 00:10:27,892
Let's bail.
280
00:10:27,894 --> 00:10:29,995
No, barney, come on.
I'm having fun.
281
00:10:29,997 --> 00:10:32,497
Plus, it's really great to
see all these guys again.
282
00:10:32,499 --> 00:10:35,266
Name one person you
know at this party.
283
00:10:35,268 --> 00:10:37,068
Well, there's ninja,
284
00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:39,137
Back of horse.
285
00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:40,438
Hey, where's front of horse?
286
00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:42,974
That guy's a riot...
where is he?
287
00:10:43,943 --> 00:10:45,510
Okay, I'm leaving.
288
00:10:45,512 --> 00:10:47,145
But just know,
that this victoria secret party
289
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:48,580
Is on a yacht.
290
00:10:48,582 --> 00:10:50,615
And what will be sticking
to that yacht?
291
00:10:50,617 --> 00:10:53,151
The "barnacle."
292
00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:54,319
Really?
293
00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:55,587
That's your nickname now?
294
00:10:55,589 --> 00:10:56,588
Yeah, the barnacle.
The barnacle?
295
00:10:56,590 --> 00:10:57,756
That's it.
296
00:10:58,457 --> 00:11:00,025
Barnacle, out.
297
00:11:00,027 --> 00:11:02,160
Have fun, barnacle.
298
00:11:04,463 --> 00:11:06,364
So... Do you like mike?
299
00:11:06,366 --> 00:11:08,166
Do you like mike?
300
00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:09,634
Of course I do. Why?
301
00:11:09,636 --> 00:11:11,803
It just doesn't seem like it.
302
00:11:11,805 --> 00:11:14,539
You won't share your food,
you won't wear a costume.
303
00:11:14,541 --> 00:11:16,174
Oh, lily, you know me.
304
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:18,176
I'm just not into
all that coupley stuff.
305
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:20,845
Okay, I know that stuff
looks dumb from the outside,
306
00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:23,448
But it's kind of the
greatest thing in the world
307
00:11:23,450 --> 00:11:24,616
When you're a part of it.
308
00:11:24,618 --> 00:11:26,017
If you just gave it
309
00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:28,019
A chance, you might like it.
310
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:29,988
Are you trying to get me
to join a cult?
311
00:11:29,990 --> 00:11:32,323
Robin, mike likes you.
312
00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:34,059
If you don't start
meeting him halfway,
313
00:11:34,061 --> 00:11:35,393
You're gonna lose him.
314
00:11:35,395 --> 00:11:36,194
What?
315
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:37,395
Look, it's Halloween.
316
00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:40,632
Just put on the girlfriend
costume for a night.
317
00:11:40,634 --> 00:11:43,635
Okay, well, what am I
supposed to do,
318
00:11:43,637 --> 00:11:46,638
Buy him a giant teddy bear
or something?
319
00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:50,041
How about you start
by sharing dessert?
320
00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:52,510
I can share dessert.
321
00:11:52,512 --> 00:11:53,478
Good.
322
00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:56,681
He better want
the brownie sundae,
323
00:11:56,683 --> 00:12:00,385
But yeah, yeah,
I can totally share.
324
00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:11,062
Barney?
325
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,163
What, you're back?
326
00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:13,031
That's right.
327
00:12:13,033 --> 00:12:14,666
In a totally new costume.
328
00:12:14,668 --> 00:12:17,936
Every Halloween
I bring a spare costume,
329
00:12:17,938 --> 00:12:20,739
In case I strike out with
the hottest girl at the party.
330
00:12:20,741 --> 00:12:24,109
That way I have a second chance
to make a first impression.
331
00:12:25,010 --> 00:12:26,244
What's with the face?
332
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:28,413
It's half you're pathetic,
half I have to pee.
333
00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:30,381
So go to the bathroom.
No, there's a huge line.
334
00:12:30,383 --> 00:12:32,884
I don't want to miss
the "slutty pumpkin."
335
00:12:32,886 --> 00:12:34,452
So pee off the roof.
336
00:12:34,454 --> 00:12:36,354
Ooh, ted, pee off the roof.
337
00:12:36,356 --> 00:12:38,389
Whoa, I wouldn't do
that if I were you,
338
00:12:38,391 --> 00:12:39,758
There's people
walking down there.
339
00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:42,393
Come on, ted,
who you gonna listen to?
340
00:12:42,395 --> 00:12:45,697
Me, or mr. Goody-goody
over there?
341
00:12:45,699 --> 00:12:49,467
Yeah, whatever, you
guys got some weed?
342
00:12:49,469 --> 00:12:51,770
A little to the left, marshall.
343
00:12:51,772 --> 00:12:53,138
Robin:
Lily, squat down.
344
00:12:53,140 --> 00:12:54,706
This is gonna be a slaughter.
345
00:12:54,708 --> 00:12:58,576
None of these other costumes
even come close to ourrr... S!
346
00:12:58,578 --> 00:13:01,713
Take the damn
picture. ( squawks )
347
00:13:01,715 --> 00:13:05,884
I still think we should have won
as sonny and cher.
348
00:13:05,886 --> 00:13:08,286
Maybe if I'd worn
the red dress. Huh.
349
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:10,555
If I could turn back time.
350
00:13:10,557 --> 00:13:12,457
( Gasps )
351
00:13:12,459 --> 00:13:14,225
Oh, wow, this sundae
looks so good.
352
00:13:14,227 --> 00:13:15,393
I could eat the whole thing.
353
00:13:15,395 --> 00:13:18,997
But, um, I would
much rather share
354
00:13:18,999 --> 00:13:21,666
This small, one-scoop
sundae with you, mike.
355
00:13:21,668 --> 00:13:24,569
Apple tart? Excellent
choice, lily-pad.
356
00:13:24,571 --> 00:13:26,504
Thanks, marshmallow.
357
00:13:26,506 --> 00:13:30,141
Well, let's dig in, mi... Mi...
Microwave oven.
358
00:13:33,012 --> 00:13:35,346
Let me guess.
359
00:13:35,348 --> 00:13:38,583
Every guy's used the lei'd line
on you tonight, huh?
360
00:13:38,585 --> 00:13:40,518
You wouldn't believe.
361
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:42,587
I apologize for my gender.
362
00:13:42,589 --> 00:13:44,322
Let me make it up to you...
make you a drink?
363
00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:45,456
Oh.
364
00:13:45,458 --> 00:13:47,458
You certainly are
a charming devil.
365
00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:51,296
I'm also a "horny" devil.
366
00:13:51,298 --> 00:13:52,363
Yeah.
367
00:13:52,365 --> 00:13:53,832
( Chuckles)
368
00:13:53,834 --> 00:13:55,567
No.
369
00:14:00,206 --> 00:14:01,439
Oh, go to hell.
370
00:14:05,444 --> 00:14:06,811
You know,
371
00:14:06,813 --> 00:14:08,213
If you guys like tiramisu,
372
00:14:08,215 --> 00:14:09,647
We found this little
italian place...
373
00:14:09,649 --> 00:14:11,516
No, you found it.
I came with you.
374
00:14:12,451 --> 00:14:14,018
Go on.
375
00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:16,221
I'm just saying,
we love tiramisu.
376
00:14:16,223 --> 00:14:18,223
I cannot get enough of it.
377
00:14:18,225 --> 00:14:19,691
We're crazy for the stuff.
378
00:14:19,693 --> 00:14:21,726
I'm crazy, and you're crazy...
379
00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:23,862
For tiramisu.
380
00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:25,530
Mike:
Right.
381
00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:26,831
We love tiramisu.
382
00:14:26,833 --> 00:14:29,234
Am I wrong saying that?
No, no, no.
383
00:14:29,236 --> 00:14:30,568
I mean, it just sounds
a little bit weird.
384
00:14:30,570 --> 00:14:31,669
Doesn't it?
385
00:14:31,671 --> 00:14:33,571
We love tiramisu?
386
00:14:33,573 --> 00:14:35,306
Isn't really a group activity.
387
00:14:35,308 --> 00:14:37,542
Loving tiramisu?
388
00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:39,077
Right?
389
00:14:40,246 --> 00:14:44,649
So this italian place,
how is their cannoli?
390
00:14:44,651 --> 00:14:45,717
Robin:
Oh!
391
00:14:45,719 --> 00:14:47,619
Easy there, hungry.
392
00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:52,657
Mmm.
393
00:14:52,659 --> 00:14:55,360
Yeah, looks like we'reboth hungry.
394
00:14:55,362 --> 00:14:56,160
( chuckles)
395
00:14:56,162 --> 00:14:57,495
Hey, is that gary oldman?
396
00:14:57,497 --> 00:14:58,497
Wait... Where?
397
00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:02,967
I don't see...
398
00:15:08,774 --> 00:15:10,742
Brain freeze.
399
00:15:12,611 --> 00:15:15,013
Okay, victoria secret party,
right now.
400
00:15:15,015 --> 00:15:17,715
I can't stand watching
my delusional friend
401
00:15:17,717 --> 00:15:19,617
Waste another
precious Halloween.
402
00:15:19,619 --> 00:15:21,953
Ted, the "slutty pumpkin"
is not coming.
403
00:15:21,955 --> 00:15:23,054
She might.
404
00:15:23,056 --> 00:15:25,757
Come on, barney, this
is not about the odds.
405
00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:26,858
It's about believing.
406
00:15:26,860 --> 00:15:27,959
This girl, she...
407
00:15:27,961 --> 00:15:29,560
She represents something to me.
408
00:15:29,562 --> 00:15:30,862
I don't know.
409
00:15:30,864 --> 00:15:32,096
Hope.
410
00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:35,266
Wow.
411
00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:37,702
I did not understand
a word you just said.
412
00:15:39,605 --> 00:15:42,974
Lingerie models on a boat!
413
00:15:42,976 --> 00:15:45,076
See ya.
414
00:15:45,078 --> 00:15:47,312
No. See ya.
415
00:15:47,314 --> 00:15:48,546
( laughs devilishly )
416
00:15:48,548 --> 00:15:49,647
Ow!
417
00:15:51,817 --> 00:15:54,052
Want to drink the melty part?
418
00:15:54,054 --> 00:15:55,486
You know what?
419
00:15:55,488 --> 00:15:56,621
It's getting late.
420
00:15:57,623 --> 00:15:58,656
I think I'm gonna
421
00:15:58,658 --> 00:15:59,590
Take off.
422
00:15:59,592 --> 00:16:01,559
Hey.
423
00:16:01,561 --> 00:16:03,895
I thought we were gonna
follow those bread crumbs
424
00:16:03,897 --> 00:16:05,763
Back to my place, hansel.
425
00:16:05,765 --> 00:16:08,499
Robin, I don't get the sense
you like being with me.
426
00:16:08,501 --> 00:16:09,801
I like being with you.
427
00:16:09,803 --> 00:16:11,502
Not as much as you
like being alone.
428
00:16:11,504 --> 00:16:12,770
You like...
429
00:16:12,772 --> 00:16:14,939
Eating your own food,
sleeping in your own bed,
430
00:16:14,941 --> 00:16:16,174
Doing your own crosswords.
431
00:16:16,176 --> 00:16:17,976
Who uses ink?
432
00:16:19,111 --> 00:16:20,578
Sorry.
433
00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:22,613
Okay, I'm a bit set in my ways,
434
00:16:22,615 --> 00:16:24,148
That doesn't mean
that this won't work.
435
00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:26,317
Actually, it kind of does.
436
00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:28,686
Wait, are we breaking up?
437
00:16:28,688 --> 00:16:31,255
No, we aren't breaking up.
438
00:16:31,257 --> 00:16:34,158
I'm breaking up with you.
439
00:16:37,629 --> 00:16:43,835
Ted:
And then just as I wasabout to lose hope...
440
00:16:46,972 --> 00:16:49,841
She spent a year in antarctica
studying penguins.
441
00:16:50,776 --> 00:16:53,344
Kahlua, root beer...
442
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:55,146
Could this penguin be
443
00:16:55,148 --> 00:16:58,049
The "slutty pumpkin?"
444
00:17:06,558 --> 00:17:08,126
Uh, excuse me.
445
00:17:08,128 --> 00:17:10,161
This is going to sound crazy,
446
00:17:10,163 --> 00:17:12,230
But I met someone
up on this roof four years ago,
447
00:17:12,232 --> 00:17:16,667
And they mixed that cocktail,
and-and they loved penguins.
448
00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:19,604
By any chance, was that you?
449
00:17:21,140 --> 00:17:23,207
It's you.
450
00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:25,710
Everyone thought
I was crazy, but I came...
451
00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:27,245
You are such a loser.
452
00:17:27,913 --> 00:17:30,748
Come on, I came
back for you, ted.
453
00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:32,750
I penguin-suited up
454
00:17:32,752 --> 00:17:34,185
To show you the
error of your ways.
455
00:17:34,187 --> 00:17:36,087
And to score hula girl's number.
456
00:17:36,089 --> 00:17:37,655
Check and check.
457
00:17:37,657 --> 00:17:39,057
Unbelievable.
458
00:17:39,059 --> 00:17:41,192
Yes, it is.
459
00:17:41,194 --> 00:17:42,927
Oh. Wait a minute.
460
00:17:42,929 --> 00:17:44,328
You're that lame army guy.
461
00:17:44,330 --> 00:17:46,230
What? No, no,
that's some other guy,
462
00:17:46,232 --> 00:17:47,732
And he was a kick-ass
fighter pilot.
463
00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:49,200
I cannot believe I
gave you my number.
464
00:17:49,202 --> 00:17:50,601
Yeah, well, you did. Thanks.
465
00:17:50,603 --> 00:17:51,569
Yeah. Well, give it back.
466
00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:52,570
Well, uh, I don't think so.
467
00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:53,571
I earned it, fair and square.
468
00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:54,872
I'm calling you.
469
00:17:54,874 --> 00:17:57,241
But I'm never gonna
go out with you.
470
00:17:57,243 --> 00:17:59,177
But how will you know it's me?
471
00:17:59,179 --> 00:18:01,245
I'm a master of disguise.
472
00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:03,247
Yeah.
473
00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:04,849
( Sighs )
474
00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:08,352
Nice.
475
00:18:08,354 --> 00:18:09,687
Come on, ted.
476
00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:11,556
Victoria secret party,
now, let's go.
477
00:18:11,558 --> 00:18:12,890
I'm staying.
478
00:18:12,892 --> 00:18:16,260
( Sighs ):
Fine! Fine...
479
00:18:16,262 --> 00:18:17,061
What are you doing?
480
00:18:17,063 --> 00:18:19,764
I'm flippering you off.
481
00:18:22,868 --> 00:18:25,136
Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry.
482
00:18:25,138 --> 00:18:26,270
Seriously,
483
00:18:26,272 --> 00:18:27,371
It's not a big deal.
484
00:18:27,373 --> 00:18:30,108
He wanted to be a we,
and I wanted to be an I.
485
00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:33,111
Dudes are such chicks.
486
00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:34,645
Hmm.
487
00:18:34,647 --> 00:18:35,746
You guys, I'm fine.
488
00:18:35,748 --> 00:18:37,281
Man:
Ladies and
489
00:18:37,283 --> 00:18:39,217
Gentlemen, the results are in.
490
00:18:39,219 --> 00:18:41,119
And the winners of this year's
491
00:18:41,121 --> 00:18:42,553
Costume contest are...
492
00:18:42,555 --> 00:18:44,956
Lily aldren as a parrot,
493
00:18:44,958 --> 00:18:46,991
And marshall erikson
as a gay pirate!
494
00:18:46,993 --> 00:18:48,292
Oh, yeah!
495
00:18:48,294 --> 00:18:49,560
Wait, what did he say?
496
00:18:49,562 --> 00:18:52,096
Oh, who cares, marshall?
We won!
497
00:18:52,098 --> 00:18:54,232
Wait. Gay pirate...
where are you getting that from?
498
00:18:54,234 --> 00:18:55,500
Dude, you're wearing eyeliner.
499
00:18:55,502 --> 00:18:56,834
Okay.
500
00:18:56,836 --> 00:18:59,837
I just want everybody here
to know I'm not a gay pirate.
501
00:18:59,839 --> 00:19:01,772
I have sex
with my parrot all the time.
502
00:19:01,774 --> 00:19:03,574
That came out wrong.
503
00:19:04,576 --> 00:19:05,977
Oh, yeah, doesn't matter.
504
00:19:05,979 --> 00:19:07,278
We won!
505
00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:09,147
I love you, marshmallow.
506
00:19:09,149 --> 00:19:10,581
I love you, too, lily pad.
507
00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:12,250
You guys, let me get a picture.
508
00:19:16,288 --> 00:19:18,656
( Camera shutter clicking )
509
00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:22,160
♪ I want to know
what it's like ♪
510
00:19:22,162 --> 00:19:27,265
♪ On the inside of love...
511
00:19:27,267 --> 00:19:29,367
I had a feeling
I'd find you here.
512
00:19:29,369 --> 00:19:30,935
Oh, hey.
513
00:19:30,937 --> 00:19:32,503
If you're here
for the shaggarats,
514
00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:34,605
You just missed
the fourth encore.
515
00:19:34,607 --> 00:19:38,209
I never played any team sports.
516
00:19:38,211 --> 00:19:39,810
Are we playing "I never"?
517
00:19:39,812 --> 00:19:42,313
'Cause there's nothing left
but peach schnapps.
518
00:19:42,315 --> 00:19:44,949
I played tennis in high school.
519
00:19:44,951 --> 00:19:46,217
You know why?
520
00:19:46,219 --> 00:19:47,885
Because it was just me
out there.
521
00:19:47,887 --> 00:19:49,954
I couldn't even stand
playing doubles.
522
00:19:51,223 --> 00:19:53,324
I just got dumped.
523
00:19:53,326 --> 00:19:56,027
Oh, man, that sucks.
524
00:19:56,029 --> 00:19:57,228
Yeah. It's okay.
525
00:19:57,230 --> 00:19:58,863
I wasn't that into him.
526
00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:00,231
Story of my life.
527
00:20:00,233 --> 00:20:02,033
Everyone else is off
528
00:20:02,035 --> 00:20:04,335
Falling in love
and acting stupid and goofy
529
00:20:04,337 --> 00:20:07,071
And sweet and insane,
but not me.
530
00:20:07,073 --> 00:20:08,339
Why don't I
531
00:20:08,341 --> 00:20:09,807
Want that more?
532
00:20:09,809 --> 00:20:11,475
I want to want that.
533
00:20:11,477 --> 00:20:13,844
Am I wired wrong or something?
534
00:20:13,846 --> 00:20:15,012
No.
535
00:20:15,014 --> 00:20:17,048
Look, you didn't want to be
with me,
536
00:20:17,050 --> 00:20:19,217
So, clearly,
you have abysmal taste in men.
537
00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:21,052
( Iaughs )
538
00:20:21,054 --> 00:20:23,154
But you're wired just fine.
539
00:20:23,156 --> 00:20:25,690
Well, what if I'm just a...
540
00:20:25,692 --> 00:20:28,226
A cold person?
541
00:20:28,228 --> 00:20:30,394
Tonight mike was willing to look
542
00:20:30,396 --> 00:20:33,931
Like a complete idiot for me,
but I couldn't be gretel.
543
00:20:33,933 --> 00:20:36,534
Why can't I be gretel?
544
00:20:36,536 --> 00:20:38,869
Because you just haven't met
the right hansel yet.
545
00:20:38,871 --> 00:20:41,272
Hey, one day, you're
gonna meet a guy
546
00:20:41,274 --> 00:20:43,441
Who's gonna make you want to
look like a complete idiot.
547
00:20:43,443 --> 00:20:44,742
Really?
548
00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:46,277
Yeah. He's out there somewhere.
549
00:20:46,279 --> 00:20:49,914
Just like the slutty pumpkin...
Pumpkin, pumpkin...
550
00:20:50,882 --> 00:20:53,384
How do you do this, ted?
551
00:20:53,386 --> 00:20:57,421
Sit out here all night
on the roof in the cold,
552
00:20:57,423 --> 00:20:59,957
And still have faith
your pumpkin's gonna show up?
553
00:20:59,959 --> 00:21:03,094
Well, I'm pretty drunk.
554
00:21:03,096 --> 00:21:04,295
( Iaughs )
555
00:21:04,297 --> 00:21:06,697
Look, I know that odds are,
556
00:21:06,699 --> 00:21:09,367
The love of my life isn't gonna
magically walk through that door
557
00:21:09,369 --> 00:21:13,471
In a pumpkin costume
at 2:43 in the morning, but
558
00:21:13,473 --> 00:21:16,407
This seems as nice a spot
as any to just,
559
00:21:16,409 --> 00:21:20,378
You know, sit and wait.
560
00:21:25,717 --> 00:21:27,852
( Soft groan)
561
00:21:31,923 --> 00:21:37,728
♪ I want to know what it's like
on the inside of love... ♪
562
00:21:37,730 --> 00:21:41,799
Captioned by
media access group at wgbh
access. Wgbh. Org
36074
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