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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,369 --> 00:00:06,672 - You know, every night for five years...Ugh... 2 00:00:06,674 --> 00:00:08,240 "little engine that could," 3 00:00:08,242 --> 00:00:10,075 "goodnight moon," "cat in the hat." 4 00:00:10,077 --> 00:00:12,511 I am sick of them. 5 00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:14,380 - They're not for you. 6 00:00:14,382 --> 00:00:16,715 Right? 7 00:00:16,717 --> 00:00:18,250 What do you want to read the kids, 8 00:00:18,252 --> 00:00:21,153 Jackie collins? 9 00:00:21,155 --> 00:00:23,655 - No, I was just thinking, you know, 10 00:00:23,657 --> 00:00:25,057 Maybe I could do that. 11 00:00:25,059 --> 00:00:27,059 Maybe I could write a children's book. 12 00:00:27,061 --> 00:00:28,060 - Yeah? 13 00:00:28,062 --> 00:00:29,061 - Yeah, you think? 14 00:00:29,063 --> 00:00:31,296 - Yeah, it's great, 15 00:00:31,298 --> 00:00:35,501 If you're looking for something to do. 16 00:00:35,503 --> 00:00:38,337 - I have things to do, ray. 17 00:00:38,339 --> 00:00:39,605 - Ow! 18 00:00:45,445 --> 00:00:46,678 - All right, so what do you think 19 00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:48,047 About this book idea? 20 00:00:48,049 --> 00:00:50,049 - Yeah, it's a great idea. 21 00:00:50,051 --> 00:00:51,183 You need any help, let me know. 22 00:00:51,185 --> 00:00:53,318 - Yeah, that's just what I was thinking. 23 00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:55,120 - What? - You could help me. 24 00:00:55,122 --> 00:00:56,422 We could write it together. 25 00:00:56,424 --> 00:00:57,823 - Oh, wait a minute. - What? Come on. 26 00:00:57,825 --> 00:00:59,591 You just said, "if you need any help..." 27 00:00:59,593 --> 00:01:02,361 - You didn't let me finish, 28 00:01:02,363 --> 00:01:04,496 By "help," I meant that when you're done, 29 00:01:04,498 --> 00:01:05,497 I would read it 30 00:01:05,499 --> 00:01:08,100 And tell you it's very good. 31 00:01:08,102 --> 00:01:09,701 - Oh, come on. Come on. 32 00:01:09,703 --> 00:01:11,136 I want to do this with you. 33 00:01:11,138 --> 00:01:14,106 To spend time together like this? 34 00:01:14,108 --> 00:01:16,275 - No. 35 00:01:16,277 --> 00:01:18,177 Writing is what I do for a living. 36 00:01:18,179 --> 00:01:19,678 I don't want to spend my free time writing. 37 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:21,080 - But you love writing. 38 00:01:21,082 --> 00:01:23,315 - No. 39 00:01:23,317 --> 00:01:26,418 It's--it's torture. It's excruciating. 40 00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:28,620 - Yeah, but lookit, I already have an idea. 41 00:01:28,622 --> 00:01:31,223 I just need you to help me flesh it out, you know? 42 00:01:31,225 --> 00:01:33,692 Because you are such a good writer, ray. 43 00:01:33,694 --> 00:01:35,127 I respect your talent so much. 44 00:01:35,129 --> 00:01:36,528 - Oh, don't even start with that 45 00:01:36,530 --> 00:01:40,866 Unless you're willing to back it up with sex. 46 00:01:40,868 --> 00:01:44,570 - Don't talk about sex. We're here. 47 00:01:44,572 --> 00:01:47,673 - Ma, debra's thinking of writing a book. 48 00:01:47,675 --> 00:01:50,342 - A sex book? 49 00:01:50,344 --> 00:01:52,211 - No, no, no, no. A children's book. 50 00:01:52,213 --> 00:01:54,446 I was just thinking of trying it. 51 00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:57,382 - Ooh, I have a wonderful story for you, debra. 52 00:01:57,384 --> 00:01:59,885 When robert was ten, he was in little league. 53 00:01:59,887 --> 00:02:01,687 And before one of his games, 54 00:02:01,689 --> 00:02:03,222 I asked if he had to go to the bathroom. 55 00:02:03,224 --> 00:02:04,490 And he said no. 56 00:02:04,492 --> 00:02:07,126 So it's his turn with the bat, 57 00:02:07,128 --> 00:02:09,495 And, sure enough, he wets his pants. 58 00:02:09,497 --> 00:02:13,799 [chuckling] 59 00:02:13,801 --> 00:02:17,836 - Aw, isn't that charming? 60 00:02:17,838 --> 00:02:20,772 - Hey. 61 00:02:20,774 --> 00:02:25,410 Is this about me? 62 00:02:25,412 --> 00:02:26,778 - Your mother was just telling the story 63 00:02:26,780 --> 00:02:28,580 About how you wet your pants at home plate. 64 00:02:28,582 --> 00:02:30,315 - Ma! 65 00:02:30,317 --> 00:02:32,184 - It's for debra's children's book. 66 00:02:32,186 --> 00:02:33,185 - It's gonna be in a book? 67 00:02:33,187 --> 00:02:35,154 - Oh, no, marie. 68 00:02:35,156 --> 00:02:37,322 Marie, please, I don't think I'm gonna use the story. 69 00:02:37,324 --> 00:02:39,258 - That's my story. You can't use it. 70 00:02:39,260 --> 00:02:40,726 I have the rights to that story. 71 00:02:40,728 --> 00:02:42,361 - Robert, I'm not using the story. 72 00:02:42,363 --> 00:02:44,830 - Why not? It's an important story. 73 00:02:44,832 --> 00:02:49,368 It has a moral about how kids shouldn't tease other kids 74 00:02:49,370 --> 00:02:50,536 And how you should listen to your mother 75 00:02:50,538 --> 00:02:54,373 And not hold it. 76 00:02:54,375 --> 00:02:56,241 - I tell you what. Whatever you do, 77 00:02:56,243 --> 00:02:57,643 I'll do the pictures for it. 78 00:02:57,645 --> 00:02:58,944 - Pictures? 79 00:02:58,946 --> 00:03:00,412 - I've dabbled in the visual arts. 80 00:03:00,414 --> 00:03:03,348 I've painted some bullfighters, 81 00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:06,952 Some nudes. 82 00:03:06,954 --> 00:03:08,387 - You painted naked ladies 83 00:03:08,389 --> 00:03:10,622 Off a deck of dirty cards. 84 00:03:10,624 --> 00:03:12,391 - I had to. 85 00:03:12,393 --> 00:03:14,526 After robert was born, you stopped posing for me. 86 00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:16,428 - Frank! 87 00:03:16,430 --> 00:03:19,398 - What? 88 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:22,701 - Okay, I have to gouge out my eyes. 89 00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:27,606 - You can't gouge out your mind's eye. 90 00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:29,541 - So do you want me to bring over my portfolio? 91 00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:32,344 - I'm gonna be concentrating on the story. 92 00:03:32,346 --> 00:03:34,413 - Hey, you know, debra, I got a great story for you. 93 00:03:34,415 --> 00:03:37,950 It's about a tall crime fighter. 94 00:03:37,952 --> 00:03:39,918 - Does he live with his parents? 95 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:41,353 - Could. 96 00:03:41,355 --> 00:03:42,487 - No, no, no. 97 00:03:42,489 --> 00:03:44,289 I have another story for you, dear. 98 00:03:44,291 --> 00:03:46,291 We were on a long car ride, 99 00:03:46,293 --> 00:03:48,627 And before we leave, I warn robert-- 100 00:03:48,629 --> 00:03:51,530 - Ma! 101 00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:53,432 - Look, mom, dad, everybody, 102 00:03:53,434 --> 00:03:55,567 Debra--she's already got somebody who's gonna help her. 103 00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:57,236 Me. - Really? 104 00:03:57,238 --> 00:03:59,605 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. It'll be fun. 105 00:03:59,607 --> 00:04:01,273 Okay, so thanks anyway. 106 00:04:01,275 --> 00:04:03,709 Thank you. 107 00:04:03,711 --> 00:04:04,943 - Listen, raymond, 108 00:04:04,945 --> 00:04:06,511 If you're gonna use the baseball story, 109 00:04:06,513 --> 00:04:07,746 At least put in that I was the one 110 00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:09,314 Who scored the winning run. 111 00:04:09,316 --> 00:04:11,250 - Nobody wanted to tag you. 112 00:04:17,857 --> 00:04:20,525 - Ray, I am so excited. 113 00:04:20,527 --> 00:04:21,560 Come on, hurry up. 114 00:04:21,562 --> 00:04:22,761 We got to fire up the computer. 115 00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:25,831 - Yeah, don't hurt yourself. 116 00:04:25,833 --> 00:04:27,432 - Okay, it's-- 117 00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:28,667 - You're in my chair. 118 00:04:28,669 --> 00:04:29,935 - Oh, sorry. 119 00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:33,505 Here. You sit, and...Here. 120 00:04:33,507 --> 00:04:36,775 This. Okay. 121 00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:39,645 This is so great, honey. 122 00:04:39,647 --> 00:04:41,380 All right. 123 00:04:41,382 --> 00:04:43,849 [computer game starts to play] 124 00:04:43,851 --> 00:04:45,317 What are you doing? 125 00:04:45,319 --> 00:04:48,987 I play a little "galactic defender" first. 126 00:04:48,989 --> 00:04:50,422 - What about the story? 127 00:04:50,424 --> 00:04:51,757 - In a minute. In a minute. 128 00:04:51,759 --> 00:04:54,960 I just gotta save the planet krimulac. 129 00:05:01,467 --> 00:05:02,701 Nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh. 130 00:05:02,703 --> 00:05:03,702 - Are you almost ready? 131 00:05:03,704 --> 00:05:04,903 Because I have all these ideas. 132 00:05:04,905 --> 00:05:06,705 - One second. One second. One second. 133 00:05:06,707 --> 00:05:09,975 Gotcha, you ugly green bastard. 134 00:05:09,977 --> 00:05:14,579 - Okay, good. Now here's my idea. 135 00:05:14,581 --> 00:05:15,847 I was thinking-- 136 00:05:15,849 --> 00:05:17,849 - Hold it. Hold it. 137 00:05:17,851 --> 00:05:19,484 - What is that? 138 00:05:19,486 --> 00:05:21,320 - I like to squeeze this 12 times. 139 00:05:21,322 --> 00:05:23,922 - You gotta respect the process. 140 00:05:23,924 --> 00:05:29,027 Gets the juices going. 141 00:05:29,029 --> 00:05:30,429 - Okay, you got enough juice there? 142 00:05:30,431 --> 00:05:32,331 - Yeah. - Okay. 143 00:05:32,333 --> 00:05:35,367 So here's what I was thinking. 144 00:05:35,369 --> 00:05:37,803 Do you remember that time 145 00:05:37,805 --> 00:05:41,473 When ally wanted to run away from home, 146 00:05:41,475 --> 00:05:43,375 And we let her pack her suitcase 147 00:05:43,377 --> 00:05:44,976 With all her toys and her clothes? 148 00:05:44,978 --> 00:05:47,346 - Oh, yeah, yeah. - Yeah? 149 00:05:47,348 --> 00:05:49,081 - Then she started talking about each thing 150 00:05:49,083 --> 00:05:51,416 And where she got it, who gave it to her. 151 00:05:51,418 --> 00:05:52,884 - Yes, and by the time she was done packing, 152 00:05:52,886 --> 00:05:55,020 She'd forgotten that she wanted to run away from home. 153 00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:58,657 - Right, right, because of all the good memories in the stuff. 154 00:05:58,659 --> 00:06:00,459 - Yeah. Yeah. 155 00:06:00,461 --> 00:06:02,027 - Yeah, I like that idea. I really do. 156 00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:05,464 - Oh, good! - Okay. 157 00:06:05,466 --> 00:06:06,932 - Where are you going? - Bathroom. 158 00:06:06,934 --> 00:06:08,500 - We just got started. 159 00:06:08,502 --> 00:06:09,634 - I know, but when a good idea hits, 160 00:06:09,636 --> 00:06:10,836 I have to go to the bathroom. 161 00:06:10,838 --> 00:06:12,037 - Oh, no, come on. Ray, come on. 162 00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:13,538 We're on a roll here. 163 00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:15,006 Don't break the momentum. Please? 164 00:06:15,008 --> 00:06:17,743 - All right. 165 00:06:17,745 --> 00:06:18,877 You know, it's not good to hold it. 166 00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:21,079 - Yeah. 167 00:06:21,081 --> 00:06:22,881 Okay. 168 00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:25,584 So... 169 00:06:25,586 --> 00:06:26,785 I was thinking, 170 00:06:26,787 --> 00:06:28,754 We make the main character a bunny. 171 00:06:28,756 --> 00:06:31,089 - Oh, a bunny? 172 00:06:31,091 --> 00:06:32,624 - Why, what's wrong with a bunny? 173 00:06:32,626 --> 00:06:35,527 - Hasn't the bunny thing been done, really? 174 00:06:35,529 --> 00:06:37,396 - Well, what did you have in mind? 175 00:06:37,398 --> 00:06:40,031 - Nothing. 176 00:06:40,033 --> 00:06:41,733 - No, no. Go ahead, tell me. 177 00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:43,568 If you got something better, I want to know. 178 00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:45,937 - Okay. 179 00:06:45,939 --> 00:06:49,674 How about a...Dinosaur? 180 00:06:49,676 --> 00:06:51,610 - Ooh, a dinosaur? 181 00:06:51,612 --> 00:06:53,578 - What? 182 00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:54,713 - Eh, I don't know. 183 00:06:54,715 --> 00:06:55,981 I just think that's a little... 184 00:06:55,983 --> 00:06:58,617 Trendy. 185 00:06:58,619 --> 00:07:01,953 - Well, bunny's hack. 186 00:07:01,955 --> 00:07:04,790 - Hack? You're calling me a hack? 187 00:07:04,792 --> 00:07:06,992 - I'm not calling you a hack. Your bunny's a hack. 188 00:07:06,994 --> 00:07:09,594 - No, no, no, the bunny is classic, ray. 189 00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:11,730 It's the dinosaur that has been done to death. 190 00:07:11,732 --> 00:07:14,099 - Look, look, it doesn't have to be the dinosaur. 191 00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:17,068 I just hate the bunny. 192 00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:18,603 - Well, you got nothing, sweetie, 193 00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:20,772 So it's gonna be a bunny, okay? 194 00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:23,175 - Well, take my name off it. 195 00:07:23,177 --> 00:07:24,910 - Off of what? We haven't even started yet! 196 00:07:24,912 --> 00:07:26,445 We spent the whole time 197 00:07:26,447 --> 00:07:28,146 Going through your satanic rituals. 198 00:07:28,148 --> 00:07:29,881 - Hey, that's how I work. 199 00:07:29,883 --> 00:07:32,117 - Oh, well, let me know when you're goofing off, okay? 200 00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:34,953 - Well, my "goofing off" supports this household. 201 00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:38,723 - Oh, and what I do doesn't support the household. 202 00:07:38,725 --> 00:07:40,625 - I'm just saying I get paid for what I do. 203 00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:44,529 - No, but you asked me to help, and this is how I help. 204 00:07:44,531 --> 00:07:46,064 - Well, you know what, ray? I don't want your help. 205 00:07:46,066 --> 00:07:48,166 - Good, good, good, good. 206 00:07:48,168 --> 00:07:49,968 'cause I didn't wanna help in the first place. 207 00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:52,804 - Okay, good. So everybody's happy. 208 00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:53,672 - Good! 209 00:08:11,524 --> 00:08:12,724 Hi. 210 00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:15,727 - Hi. 211 00:08:15,729 --> 00:08:16,895 - Sorry I'm late. 212 00:08:16,897 --> 00:08:18,263 - Yeah. 213 00:08:26,272 --> 00:08:28,773 - Oh, you're workin' on your thing? 214 00:08:28,775 --> 00:08:32,043 - [sighs] yes, yes, yes. 215 00:08:32,045 --> 00:08:34,145 - I was wonderin'... 216 00:08:34,147 --> 00:08:37,249 Are we still fighting? 217 00:08:37,251 --> 00:08:39,751 - What? No, no, no. 218 00:08:39,753 --> 00:08:42,287 - Good. Good. 219 00:08:42,289 --> 00:08:44,523 I almost bought flowers. 220 00:09:01,774 --> 00:09:04,576 - [muttering] 221 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:15,320 Whoo! 222 00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:25,230 - So how was your day? 223 00:09:25,232 --> 00:09:27,332 - I can't do this. 224 00:09:27,334 --> 00:09:29,167 It was such stupid idea, 225 00:09:29,169 --> 00:09:31,036 Me trying to write a book. 226 00:09:31,038 --> 00:09:34,039 - Look, it just takes time, that's all. 227 00:09:34,041 --> 00:09:35,840 Come on. Come on. 228 00:09:35,842 --> 00:09:37,809 Look, there must be something good in here someplace-- 229 00:09:37,811 --> 00:09:40,145 - No, no! Give-- not one word! 230 00:09:40,147 --> 00:09:43,949 Ugh! I just hate this freakin' bunny! 231 00:09:43,951 --> 00:09:45,784 - Come on, you don't hate the bunny. 232 00:09:45,786 --> 00:09:46,918 The bunny's good. 233 00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:49,020 - Hate him, ray. Hate him. 234 00:09:49,022 --> 00:09:50,589 I would want to run away, too, 235 00:09:50,591 --> 00:09:53,658 If I was stuck in a piece of crap like... 236 00:09:53,660 --> 00:09:54,659 That! 237 00:09:59,031 --> 00:10:00,231 I don't know how you do it. 238 00:10:00,233 --> 00:10:02,634 I don't know how you do it. 239 00:10:02,636 --> 00:10:04,736 Every day, writing? 240 00:10:04,738 --> 00:10:07,138 It's hell. It's hell. 241 00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:09,641 - Well... 242 00:10:09,643 --> 00:10:10,942 Yeah. 243 00:10:13,879 --> 00:10:16,848 I try not to bring it home. 244 00:10:16,850 --> 00:10:19,050 Guess you've gotten a little peek there. 245 00:10:19,052 --> 00:10:21,286 I mean, it's not all hangin' out at the games 246 00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:23,655 With the guys and the hot dogs 247 00:10:23,657 --> 00:10:28,093 And the make-your-own sundaes. 248 00:10:28,095 --> 00:10:31,162 - Well... 249 00:10:31,164 --> 00:10:36,001 I suck. Good night. 250 00:10:36,003 --> 00:10:38,203 - You know, it's not easy for anybody. 251 00:10:38,205 --> 00:10:40,805 Come on. I mean, in the beginning-- 252 00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:43,208 I remember when I was just a beat writer 253 00:10:43,210 --> 00:10:46,378 Covering the local high school games. 254 00:10:46,380 --> 00:10:48,013 I was obviously pretty talented, 255 00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:52,350 But I was just a diamond in the rough, really. 256 00:10:59,158 --> 00:11:03,762 We'll pick up on this tomorrow, all right? 257 00:11:03,764 --> 00:11:05,964 Remind me where I was. 258 00:11:38,831 --> 00:11:41,433 [mumbling] 259 00:11:48,074 --> 00:11:50,408 Oh, still the man. 260 00:11:54,046 --> 00:11:56,347 Morning, everybody. 261 00:11:56,349 --> 00:11:58,049 - Hey. - Good morning. 262 00:11:58,051 --> 00:11:59,117 - Hey. 263 00:11:59,119 --> 00:12:00,351 - What were you doing up so late? 264 00:12:00,353 --> 00:12:03,888 I looked at the clock. It was 4:30. 265 00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:04,956 - Ta-da! 266 00:12:04,958 --> 00:12:07,992 - What's this? 267 00:12:07,994 --> 00:12:13,765 Oh, my gosh. This is the story. 268 00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:16,067 You did the whole thing. 269 00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:17,168 - I felt bad 'cause you got stuck, 270 00:12:17,170 --> 00:12:18,770 So I rearranged a couple of things. 271 00:12:18,772 --> 00:12:21,339 I ironed out some of the rough spots, that's all. 272 00:12:21,341 --> 00:12:24,409 Look, look. I went with the bunny. 273 00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:26,077 You were right. The bunny's good. 274 00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:28,046 The bunny's classic. Kids love the bunny. 275 00:12:28,048 --> 00:12:30,048 - Yeah. 276 00:12:30,050 --> 00:12:32,917 Okay. Thanks. 277 00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:35,120 - You're welcome. 278 00:12:35,122 --> 00:12:38,356 All right. I'm gonna grab some sleep. 279 00:12:38,358 --> 00:12:40,525 Enjoy. 280 00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:46,131 - Winky. 281 00:12:46,133 --> 00:12:50,101 Oh, he named the bunny winky. 282 00:12:53,205 --> 00:12:55,807 - Hey, hey. Guess who I talked to today. 283 00:12:55,809 --> 00:12:57,509 Gerry ashley. 284 00:12:57,511 --> 00:13:00,211 - Who's that? - That's my publisher friend. 285 00:13:00,213 --> 00:13:02,080 He's gonna look at the book tomorrow. 286 00:13:02,082 --> 00:13:04,115 - Oh, honey, it's not quite done yet. 287 00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:07,152 - What are ya talkin' about? I finished it. 288 00:13:07,154 --> 00:13:08,953 - Yeah, well, I mean, you know, 289 00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:10,789 Your version had some good stuff in it, 290 00:13:10,791 --> 00:13:15,927 But it, uh, it wasn't quite there yet, you know? 291 00:13:15,929 --> 00:13:17,996 - You're rewriting me? 292 00:13:17,998 --> 00:13:19,864 - No. 293 00:13:19,866 --> 00:13:21,132 No. 294 00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:22,867 It was just minor, you know? 295 00:13:22,869 --> 00:13:26,805 Minor tweaks. 296 00:13:26,807 --> 00:13:28,873 - You made it rhyme. 297 00:13:28,875 --> 00:13:31,009 - Yeah. Yeah. Kids love rhymes. 298 00:13:31,011 --> 00:13:32,477 And it came really easy to me. 299 00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:35,914 - "the bunny hopped here. The bunny hopped there. 300 00:13:35,916 --> 00:13:40,952 The bunny hop-hopped to the top of the square." 301 00:13:40,954 --> 00:13:43,321 - What? 302 00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:46,491 - Isn't that a little... Cutesy? 303 00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:48,359 - Cutesy? 304 00:13:48,361 --> 00:13:53,264 Ah, you're the one that named your bunny "winky." 305 00:13:53,266 --> 00:13:54,532 - Hey, I didn't even want the bunny. 306 00:13:54,534 --> 00:13:57,302 I went with the bunny for you, okay? 307 00:13:57,304 --> 00:13:58,536 And as long as I'm stuck with a bunny, 308 00:13:58,538 --> 00:14:01,005 Winky's a perfect name for a bunny. 309 00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:03,374 - It's not better than clive. 310 00:14:03,376 --> 00:14:05,476 - Clive? 311 00:14:05,478 --> 00:14:06,477 Clive? 312 00:14:06,479 --> 00:14:10,448 What, are you from piccadilly? 313 00:14:10,450 --> 00:14:12,317 [with british accent] 'ello. I'm clive. 314 00:14:12,319 --> 00:14:16,554 I'm 'appy to be alive. 315 00:14:16,556 --> 00:14:18,489 - First of all, that is the worst british accent 316 00:14:18,491 --> 00:14:20,258 I have ever heard, all right? 317 00:14:20,260 --> 00:14:23,428 Second of all, stay away from my story. 318 00:14:23,430 --> 00:14:26,097 - I saved your story. You had nothin'. 319 00:14:26,099 --> 00:14:27,131 I made it into something. 320 00:14:27,133 --> 00:14:29,400 - Who asked you? - You did! 321 00:14:29,402 --> 00:14:32,070 - No, I asked you to do it with me, 322 00:14:32,072 --> 00:14:34,239 Not for you to do it. 323 00:14:34,241 --> 00:14:36,207 - Well, I'll tell you what I'm not doin'. 324 00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:39,410 I'm not showing clive to gerry ashley. 325 00:14:39,412 --> 00:14:40,979 - Okay, fine, 326 00:14:40,981 --> 00:14:43,014 Just forget about your big-shot publisher friend. 327 00:14:43,016 --> 00:14:44,515 Let's ask ally which one she likes best. 328 00:14:44,517 --> 00:14:45,617 - Fine! Wake her up! 329 00:14:45,619 --> 00:14:48,319 - No! We're not gonna wake her up. 330 00:14:48,321 --> 00:14:50,588 We'll read it to her over the next couple of days. 331 00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:53,291 I'll read her clive, and you can read her winky. 332 00:14:53,293 --> 00:14:54,292 - Yeah, good. You're on! 333 00:14:54,294 --> 00:14:55,560 Huh? You man enough? 334 00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:57,195 - Yes, I'm man enough. 335 00:14:57,197 --> 00:14:59,264 - Good, good. 'cause clive's goin' down! 336 00:15:05,104 --> 00:15:08,239 And winky was glad to be home, 337 00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:15,179 Even though she had never...Really...Left. 338 00:15:15,181 --> 00:15:17,482 The end. 339 00:15:20,019 --> 00:15:24,689 [sighs heavily] 340 00:15:24,691 --> 00:15:26,357 So how do you like that story? 341 00:15:26,359 --> 00:15:28,192 - It was good. 342 00:15:28,194 --> 00:15:29,594 - Yeah? 343 00:15:29,596 --> 00:15:31,095 [clears throat] 344 00:15:31,097 --> 00:15:33,498 So between, uh, between that story 345 00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:36,301 And the one that mommy read you last night, 346 00:15:36,303 --> 00:15:39,671 Which one... Did you like... 347 00:15:39,673 --> 00:15:42,240 Better? 348 00:15:42,242 --> 00:15:43,241 - Better? 349 00:15:43,243 --> 00:15:46,511 - Yeah, between clive and winky? 350 00:15:46,513 --> 00:15:48,146 - Winky. 351 00:15:48,148 --> 00:15:50,415 - Oh, yeah? 352 00:15:50,417 --> 00:15:52,050 Why? 353 00:15:52,052 --> 00:15:54,085 - Winky was funny. 354 00:15:54,087 --> 00:15:58,256 - How about that? 355 00:15:58,258 --> 00:16:00,124 And you like winky the best? 356 00:16:02,328 --> 00:16:05,530 I love you. 357 00:16:08,167 --> 00:16:09,734 And... 358 00:16:09,736 --> 00:16:11,636 And you like the name winky, right? 359 00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:13,271 - Yes. 360 00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:15,406 Oh! 361 00:16:21,613 --> 00:16:23,348 Hey. 362 00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:25,450 - Oh, you done already? 363 00:16:25,452 --> 00:16:27,018 - Yeah. 364 00:16:27,020 --> 00:16:28,586 - Yeah? Well, is there a decision? 365 00:16:28,588 --> 00:16:30,288 - Yeah! 366 00:16:30,290 --> 00:16:34,425 - Mm-hmm? 367 00:16:34,427 --> 00:16:35,426 Well? 368 00:16:39,164 --> 00:16:41,766 - She picked yours. 369 00:16:41,768 --> 00:16:43,501 - Really? 370 00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:46,137 - Yeah, clive. 371 00:16:46,139 --> 00:16:49,107 Clive all the way. 372 00:16:49,109 --> 00:16:50,241 - No kidding? - Yep. 373 00:16:50,243 --> 00:16:52,310 - She liked mine better. - Yep. 374 00:16:52,312 --> 00:16:56,481 - Why are you lying to me? 375 00:16:56,483 --> 00:16:59,117 - What? - You're lying to me. 376 00:16:59,119 --> 00:17:02,220 - You get that from "yep"? 377 00:17:02,222 --> 00:17:04,222 - No, I listened outside of ally's door. 378 00:17:04,224 --> 00:17:05,690 - Why would you do that? 379 00:17:05,692 --> 00:17:07,291 - Because I knew you would lie to me! 380 00:17:07,293 --> 00:17:09,727 - Oh, yeah, I lied, but the nice way. 381 00:17:09,729 --> 00:17:11,529 - I don't need you to protect my feelings, ray. 382 00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:13,264 Don't you think I can handle it 383 00:17:13,266 --> 00:17:14,665 That I write a children's story 384 00:17:14,667 --> 00:17:16,367 And my own daughter doesn't even like it? 385 00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:18,069 - No, of course you can. 386 00:17:18,071 --> 00:17:19,103 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 387 00:17:19,105 --> 00:17:20,338 First, you win, then you rob me 388 00:17:20,340 --> 00:17:22,206 Of the opportunity to lose with dignity! 389 00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:25,076 - I think you lost that when you listened at the door. 390 00:17:25,078 --> 00:17:26,444 - Fine, ray, fine. 391 00:17:26,446 --> 00:17:29,080 To make me feel better about myself, 392 00:17:29,082 --> 00:17:32,283 And I end up making you feel better about yourself. 393 00:17:32,285 --> 00:17:36,054 - Thank you. 394 00:17:36,056 --> 00:17:37,188 Look, come on. 395 00:17:37,190 --> 00:17:38,623 You should feel better about yourself. 396 00:17:38,625 --> 00:17:40,825 You came up with the whole idea for the story. 397 00:17:40,827 --> 00:17:43,594 I just--I found a way to make it work, that's all. 398 00:17:43,596 --> 00:17:45,263 - Yeah, great, so I'm just the idea person. 399 00:17:45,265 --> 00:17:47,398 You're the guy that can make it all happen. 400 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:50,468 - Sometimes--sometimes I'm just the idea person. 401 00:17:50,470 --> 00:17:52,170 Right? Like with raising the kids. 402 00:17:52,172 --> 00:17:53,471 I think they should eat. 403 00:17:53,473 --> 00:17:56,240 You know how to feed them. 404 00:17:56,242 --> 00:17:58,242 Right? 405 00:17:58,244 --> 00:18:00,144 I think they shouldn't be naked. 406 00:18:00,146 --> 00:18:03,281 You know what to do there too, right? 407 00:18:03,283 --> 00:18:05,583 If it was up to me, they'd be eatin' cereal every day 408 00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:08,586 And wearin' the boxes. 409 00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:10,254 - So great. I'm a good mother. 410 00:18:10,256 --> 00:18:11,522 I knew that. 411 00:18:11,524 --> 00:18:16,194 I just--I wanted to do something else. 412 00:18:16,196 --> 00:18:17,695 - You did. 413 00:18:17,697 --> 00:18:19,263 Look, you wanted to write a children's book, 414 00:18:19,265 --> 00:18:20,298 And you wrote one. 415 00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:22,200 - Yeah, the loser one. 416 00:18:22,202 --> 00:18:24,368 - No, there's no losing. 417 00:18:24,370 --> 00:18:26,104 There wouldn't be this stupid competition 418 00:18:26,106 --> 00:18:27,872 If you hadn't asked me for help. 419 00:18:27,874 --> 00:18:29,774 You know what ruined it for you? 420 00:18:29,776 --> 00:18:32,276 Me. 421 00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:35,680 - That's true. - Yeah, it is. 422 00:18:35,682 --> 00:18:37,248 You could have done this on your own. 423 00:18:37,250 --> 00:18:40,485 And I think I remember asking you not to include me 424 00:18:40,487 --> 00:18:45,156 Five days ago, remember, 425 00:18:45,158 --> 00:18:47,158 When you didn't hate me? 426 00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:49,894 - Yeah, that's true too. 427 00:18:49,896 --> 00:18:52,630 So I guess, if I want to get something accomplished, 428 00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:59,604 I should just stay away from you. 429 00:18:59,606 --> 00:19:00,838 - There you go. 430 00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:03,307 - Yeah, 'cause, like, what was I thinking, 431 00:19:03,309 --> 00:19:04,675 Asking you to help me? 432 00:19:04,677 --> 00:19:06,511 - That's exactly, uh, right. 433 00:19:06,513 --> 00:19:09,213 - Yeah, because I do like my story better. 434 00:19:09,215 --> 00:19:10,848 - You should. It's good. 435 00:19:10,850 --> 00:19:14,318 - Yeah, but who cares what you think, right? 436 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:16,220 And ally probably only liked your story better 437 00:19:16,222 --> 00:19:17,855 Because it's the last one that she heard. 438 00:19:17,857 --> 00:19:21,159 [laughs] 439 00:19:21,161 --> 00:19:22,793 - I don't know... I don't know about that. 440 00:19:22,795 --> 00:19:23,928 - Come on, I mean, 441 00:19:23,930 --> 00:19:26,230 You were really selling your version. 442 00:19:26,232 --> 00:19:29,300 You were, like, makin' all the goofy faces, weren't you? 443 00:19:29,302 --> 00:19:31,536 - You were outside the door. 444 00:19:31,538 --> 00:19:33,604 - And were you hoppin' like a bunny too? 445 00:19:33,606 --> 00:19:36,407 - I was... It served the story. 446 00:19:36,409 --> 00:19:37,275 - Yeah, yeah. [laughing] 447 00:19:37,277 --> 00:19:40,912 Winky! 448 00:19:40,914 --> 00:19:43,681 [laughing] ray. 449 00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:46,884 - Winky doesn't hop like a...Drunk. 450 00:19:55,761 --> 00:19:59,430 [in british accent] 'ello, clive. 451 00:19:59,432 --> 00:20:02,700 A spot o' ice cream? 452 00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:04,569 - You know, that's not an accent, ray. 453 00:20:04,571 --> 00:20:08,306 That's a speech impediment. 454 00:20:08,308 --> 00:20:10,274 - Hey, raymond. Thought I'd better warn you. 455 00:20:10,276 --> 00:20:11,809 Dad's on his way over with his favorite portrait. 456 00:20:11,811 --> 00:20:13,377 - Oh, no. Mom? 457 00:20:13,379 --> 00:20:15,279 - Hey, everybody. 458 00:20:15,281 --> 00:20:17,348 So you don't think your old man's a painter, huh? 459 00:20:17,350 --> 00:20:18,349 - Dad, dad, dad, dad-- 460 00:20:18,351 --> 00:20:20,251 - Look at this! 461 00:20:20,253 --> 00:20:22,954 The greatest bullfighter of all time, 462 00:20:22,956 --> 00:20:25,756 "el cordobes." 463 00:20:25,758 --> 00:20:28,559 I found him on the back of a king of spades. 464 00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:30,528 - That's really good, frank. 465 00:20:30,530 --> 00:20:31,729 - Yeah, nice. - Oh, yeah! 466 00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:33,297 And here's one of your mother. 467 00:20:33,299 --> 00:20:34,432 [all scream] 31851

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