All language subtitles for Muriels.Wedding.1994.1080p.BluRay.x265-RARBG

[Screaming]

[Screaming Continues]

- It's mine! It's mine!
- [Screaming Continues]

[Screaming Continues]

[Crowd Cheering, Clapping]

- Hey, I'm already taken, love.
- [Laughing]

- Who got it?
- Muriel.

Looks like I'm next.

- [Crying]
- Cheryl. Cheryl!

- I can throw it again.
- You can't do that. It went to her.

Muriel, throw it again.

What's the use of you having it, Muriel?
No one's ever going to marry you.

You've never even had a boyfriend.

Cheryl's been going with Shane
for over six weeks. She's next.

Muriel, don't be selfish.

♪ Sugar baby love ♪

- ♪ Sugar baby love ♪
- [Crying]

Keep your stupid bouquet!
[Sobbing]

Shane and I broke up last night!

Cheryl!

- Cheryl!
- Now look what you've done.

- You didn't even buy a new dress.
- Yes, I did.

- [Cheryl Sobbing]
- Cheryl! Chook, I won't be a minute.

Cheryl's upset. Cheryl!

- [Cheryl] Leave me alone!
- ♪ Yes, all lovers make ♪

♪ Make the same mistakes ♪

♪ As me and you ♪

There. Now if you put this
under your pillow, you'll dream
of your future husband.

[Woman Laughing]
That's what they say.

We always knew each other.
We've been married ten years.

- [Chatting]
- G'day, mate.

G'day, Muriel.
That's an eye-catching dress.

- [Laughs]
- You got a minute?

How's your dad? Give him my card.

I want you to tell him that
Leo Higgins reckons he's a great man,

the best council president
this town's ever had.

- Will you do that for me?
- What happened to your nose?

- What?
- Nothing.

Sunburn, that's all.

[Photographer]
All of you look lovely. Say "sex."

[Camera Shutter Clicks]
One more.

[Crowd Chattering]

[Woman Laughing]

I can't believe this.
What are you doing?

[Woman, Man Mumbling]

[Woman Laughs]
Oh, my God. I can't do this.

- [Woman Mumbling]
...but we're friends.
- [Man] Let me into you.

- What? Yeah, but you love Tania too.
- I love you.

Don't worry about it.

[Both Grunting, Groaning]

- Chook.
- What?

- Shut the door!
- [Both Grunting]

[Rhythmic Grunting]

[Crowd Chattering]

[Man Laughing,
Chattering Continues]

[Officer]
Excuse me, sir. Move aside, miss.

- Can you step aside, please?
- [Woman] That's her.

Miss, we'd like to have a word
to you about your dress.

- What's wrong with it?
- You stole it. I saw you.

Give me your work number and
if she can't turn up a receipt,
I can call you for a statement.

Ask for Dianne,
senior store detective.

- Mind your head, please.
- [Dianne] I'm so pleased.

I had the perfect arrest record until
I lost her in boyswear.

- How'd you know she'd be here?
- [Laughs]

I didn't.
I'm the groom's cousin.

[Car Approaching]

[Man] It's as good as approved.
Well, no, it's not.

But it will be. Porpoise Spit council
backs me a hundred percent.

- ♪ [Humming]
- Look, we'll talk about
it at dinner tonight.

- ♪ Around and around and around ♪
- Yeah, me whole family.

- [Clattering]
- Penelope!
Do that somewhere else, will you?

Ask your mum
to make a cup of tea!

Mum, make Dad a cup of tea.

[Cricket Match
Playing On TV]

Mum, make Dad a cup of tea!

- Me too!
- What?

- [TV Continues]
- Tea. Oh, yes.

- [Distant Siren Wailing]
- [Sighs]

- In the air!
- [Boys] He got it!
- Look at that!

- Oh, man!
- Did you see that? That was unreal!

[TV Continues]

[TV Announcer] Right there!
What a magnificent catch!

- [Humming]
- [TV Continues]

[Dog Barking,
TV Continues]

[Barking Continues]

- Muriel's back.
- [Microwave Dings]

Muriel, did you steal
this dress?

- No.
- Where did you get the money to buy it?

- You haven't had a job in two years.
- Mum gave it to me.

Is this true?

Um... [Laughs]
No, l-I don't think so.

Find the receipt. Go on!

What happens if
she can't find it?

We'd have to contact the store
and see if they want to press charges.

- You know who I am?
- Yes, sir. Councillor Heslop.

- Who are you?
- I'm Constable Saunders,
and this is Constable Gillespie.

Saunders? You're not Graham Saunders'
oldest boy, are you?

- Brad.
- [Laughs] Young Brad.

I haven't seen you since you played
fullback for the Porpoise Spit Giants!

- How's your Dad? How's he
recovering from that stroke?
- [Door Opening]

- [Saunders] He's better than he was.
- You're terrible, Muriel.

How about a beer?
Cold one before you go back to work?

- Betty.
- Yes? What?

- Get the young fellows a beer.
- Oh, yes.

♪ [Playing "Dancing Queen"]

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

- ♪ You can dance ♪
- [Quietly] ♪ You can dance ♪

- ♪ You can jive ♪
- ♪ You can jive ♪

- ♪ Having the time of your life ♪
- ♪ Having the time of your life ♪

♪ Ooh, see that girl ♪

♪ Watch that scene ♪

♪ Dig in the Dancing Queen ♪

♪ Friday night
and the lights are low ♪

♪ Looking out
for a place to go ♪

- ♪ Mmm, where they play
the right music ♪
- See you, boys!

- ♪ Getting in the swing
You come to look for a king ♪
- [Both] See you, Bill.

♪ Anybody could be that guy ♪

♪ Night is young
and the music's high ♪

- [Diners Chattering]
- [Sizzling]

[Bill Laughing]
He'll enjoy that.

- Very good.
- [Chattering Continues]

- Honey prawns! Yes! Yum!
- Ah, look at that!

- You're a wonderful man, Charlie Chan.
- Thank you.

- How's your uncle?
- Very well.

I got his uncle out from China.
Talked to the boys from Immigration.

- Lan McKay and his blokes.
- [Translating Into Japanese]

- They got his uncle out from China.
- This is a great man.

- Charlie, this is Victor Keinosuke
and his mate, uh, Akira.
- How do you do?

They're building a resort
at Wallum Beach,

- [Translating]
- And they might want
a Chinese restaurant in it.

- Oh.
- So keep the food coming.

- Please, please.
- Thank you, thank you.

It's all on the house.
I got his uncle out from China.

- You've done a lot for the people
of this town, Bill.
- Who told you that?

- You did.
- [Laughing]
- Ah, well, um...

I like helping out.
Ran for state government once.

- [Translating]
- Joanie, stand up. Show them your shirt.

- "Bill Heslop. You can't stop progress."
- He lost.

- [Translates]
- Yeah, well, missed on the postal vote.

In a way, I'm glad
I didn't get in.

- I can do more for this place
at grass roots level.
- [Translating]

You know, high rise,
malls, resorts.

- Porpoise Spit council
believes in progress. Muriel.
- [Translating]

When Victor was 19
he was a millionaire.

- [Translating]
- Muriel's on the dole.

- So is Perry.
- [Translating]

Well, I've got a job interview
next week. An apprentice locksmith.

Oh, that sounds wonderful.
Doesn't it, Bill?

- [Translating]
- A bit old for an apprentice,
aren't you?

A bit old for everything!

After she failed high school,

I get her into a secretarial course run
by a mate of mine. $300 a term.

Two years, $2,000.
[Laughs]

- She comes out, she can't even type.
- I could type.

Then I get her a job
at me solicitor's.

After a month, Stevie Mason rings up
and says he'll have to let her go...

'cause she can't type.

If I couldn't type, why did they
give me my secretarial diploma?

Because I paid for it!

Sits around the house
like a dead weight!

Watching TV, sleeping all day,
getting arrested at weddings!

You're useless.

You're all useless.

A bunch of useless no-hopers.

[Woman]
Bill. Bill!

- [Bill] It's Deidre Chambers.
- What a go!

- What a coincidence.
Deidre, pull up a chair.
- What a coincidence!

Penelope, shift out! Deidre,
Victor Keinosuke and his mate Akira.

- Hello. Hello.
- All the way from China... Uh, Japan.

- Deidre's a sales representative
for Radiant Cosmetics.
- Beauty consultant, Bill.

Sorry. Beauty consultant.

"Sales representative"
sounds so common.

I advise women on the right
lipstick, base and eyeliner.

Of course, you'd know all about makeup.
Your wives are probably geishas.

- [Akira Coughs]
- You look lovely, Deidre.

Muriel, how was that wedding?

- She was arrested.
- That's lovely.

Don't you wish you
were 22 again, Betty?

- Remember that age?
- Oh, yes. What?

I bet you were a terror
when you were 22.

Bill, was she a terror?

Where's Charlie Chan
with that food?

Oh, yes. Where is he?

- [Coins Clanking,
Men Speaking Japanese]
- [Emcee] Anyone? Oh, wait.

- I think we've got a winner over here.
- Two new bars through there.

- Here she comes.
Give her a bit of a hand.
- [Slurping Drink]

[Scattered Applause,
Continues Slurping]

[Emcee Continues]

Your dad was telling me
you're unemployed, Muriel.

Would you like
to work for me?

- [Cheryl]
What's wrong? What's the matter?
- [Sobbing]

You can tell us.
We won't tell anyone.

- [Tania Sniffling]
- [People Talking]

- Hello.
- [Continues Sniffling]

[Cheryl] Don't bottle it up, Tania.
You've got to let it out.

[Janine] You can tell us
what happened. We won't tell anyone.

He...
He couldn't do it.

So l...

You know.

And I noticed there was
lipstick on it.

- On what?
- His dick!

He said he was
having an affair.

[Janine]
Who with?

Rose Biggs.

Rose Biggs?

Well, he said they don't
sleep together. She only sucks him off.

Why?

- [Crying] Out of respect for me.
- Oh, the bitch.

- Bastard.
- What am I going to do? I'm a bride!

I'm supposed
to be euphoric!

- [Sniffling]
- Come on the holiday with us!

- Cash in your ticket to Bali
and have your honeymoon with us.
- Yeah!

Yeah, come on, Tan.

- All right.
- [Girls Shrieking, Laughing]

[Cheryl] We are going to have
the best time. I'm so excited!

What holiday?

Just Hibiscus Island.

We didn't think that you could afford it
because you don't have a job.

Yes, I do. I got one last night.
I'm a beauty consultant.

Let's tell her.

We were going to tell her
after the holiday,

but I think we should
tell her now.

- Muriel...
- [Cheryl] Wait!

Let her finish her Orgasm.

[Slurping]

[Slurping Continues]

[Slurping Continues]

[Puts Down Glass, Sighs]

Muriel, people think we're mad,
but that's just us.

We're ragers.

People invite us to parties, and
they know we'll just have a good time.

- We're mad.
- Party, party, party.

That's our image.
You know what I mean.

[Laughs]
We're mad.

We don't want you
hanging around us anymore.

- I didn't steal the dress.
It was a mistake.
- It's not the dress, it's you.

We've told you a thousand times how
to do your hair, but you never listen.

- You never wear the right clothes.
- You're fat.

You listen to '70s music.
This is the '90s.

- We all listen to the Baby Animals.
- And Nirvana.

- You bring us down, Muriel.
- You embarrass us.

L-I know I'm not normal,
but I'm trying to change.

- I'm trying to become
more like you, more of a...
- It's too late.

- I can change!
- You'll still be you.

Muriel, you've got to find
friends on your own level.

Like I found Chook.
He's up on my level.

Marrying him was...
the happiest day of my life.

[Sobbing]
I love him so much!

[Continues Sobbing]
That bastard!

I'll show him. I'll go on this holiday
and I'll sleep with a thousand men!

[Crying]
I'm not nothing.

Muriel, can't you think of anyone
but yourself? Tania's upset.

- I'm not nothing! [Continues Crying]
- Well, nobody said that.

Please don't chuck me
out of the group!

- [Muriel Wailing]
- [Laughing]

- [Wailing]
- Muriel. Muriel,
you're embarrassing us again.

[Continues Wailing]

And Perry kicks!
He picks it up!

"Go yourself! Go yourself!"
Is the roar from the crowd.

Heslop! Heslop! Heslop!
[Cheering]

How can a man be so strong
and so fast? Heslop!

- Perry!
- [Dog Barking]

Wake up to yourself!

And Heslop's made a comeback!
How does he do it?

Has he applied
for the police force?

Yes, but they wouldn't let him sit
for the test because he was too tall.

Muriel up?

Muriel! You've got to get up!
It's nearly 10:30!

[Bill] Make sure she sees
Deidre Chambers about that job.

Give her a blank check
for cosmetics.

- [Betty] A blank check? How much for?
- It's a blank check.

She fills in the amount
when Deidre tells her what it is.

And tell Perry to mow that backyard.
Clean the place up. It's a pig sty.

[Betty] Joanie,
will you turn off that television
and clean this place up? It's a pig sty.

Muriel, you have to get up and go
and see Deidre Chambers about that job,

and I have to give you
a blank check.

[Joanie]
Have you seen my smokes?

It's wonderful for Deidre
to give you work.

She's a wonderful person.
I don't care what anyone else says.

- Mum?
- What who says?

All those people
who've never liked Dad.

Those greenies and those terrible women
at the post office.

What are they saying?

Do I make this out to Deidre Chambers
or Radiant Cosmetics?

A blank check.
Cash.

What are they saying
about Deidre and Dad?

They say that they
go driving at night,

but he's only showing her
his developments.

His what?

His building sites.

[Tears Off Check]

I'm going to be a success, Mum.

I'm going to get married,
and I'm going to be a success.

I know you are.

Your dad just wants
to be proud of you, that's all.

I'll show him.

I'll show them all.

[Man] And now everybody,
a big round of applause...

as we welcome to the stage act three
in the Hibiscus Island talent quest.

The Tropical Delights!
Let's hear it for the girls! Thank you!

[Clapping,
Whistling, Hooting]

[Wolf Whistle]

- [Lip Synching]
- ♪ The tide is high
but I'm holding on ♪

- ♪ I'm going to be your number one ♪
- [Men Hooting]

♪ I'm not the kind of girl ♪

♪ Who gives up just like that ♪

♪ Oh, no ♪

[Screaming, Laughing]

- Hey, whose shout is it?
- Cheryl's.

- Cheryl's shout!
- [Shrieks]

Muriel!

- Where did she get the money?
- Who cares where
she got the fucking money!

- She is trying to ruin our lives!
- She's here, the bitch!

[P.A. System]
Hibiscus Island...

Hi. What a coincidence.

You're a mental case!
You keep away from us!

[People Talking,
Laughing]

You've got no dignity,
Muriel.

[People Talking,
Laughing]

- Are you Muriel Heslop?
- No.

- Yes, you are.
- Why?

I don't know why.
You just are.

Rhonda Epinstall.
We were in high school together.

You dropped out in year ten.
I dropped out in year eleven.

Ha! I knew it was you!

- Hey, swap seats?
- Yeah. Indeed.

So... are you married now?

- What?
- Well, you said
you weren't Muriel Heslop.

If you changed your name,
I thought you must have got married.

No.

Yes. I'm engaged.

- Anyone I know?
- What? Who? Tim.

- Who? Tim who?
- What?

- Oh, Simms.
- Tim Simms. [Laughs]

Don't know him.
What's he like?

- Um... like... no one.
- Smoke?

- What?
- I shouldn't. I'm an asthmatic.

- So where is he?
- Who?

Tim Simms.

I'm on to you.

You're not wearing
an engagement ring.

You're here
without your fiancé.

You're out for a good time,
aren't you, Muriel?

- A last fling?
- [Laughs] I suppose so.

[Laughing]
You are wicked!

Well, stick with me
'cause I'm wicked too.

- My whole life is
one last fling after another.
- [Giggling]

- Hey, remember Tania Degano?
She got married, to Chook.
- To what?

- Chook. Peter Vernell.
- Oh, I remember them.

What a pair of assholes.
They deserve each other.

Whenever I think about
how revolting Porpoise Spit was,

I think about Tania Degano and those
idiots that she used to hang out with.

They made my life hell.

Do you ever dream about what you would
say to them if you saw them now?

I do see them now.
They're over there.

- [Girls Laughing]
- What are they doing here?

They're on Tania's honeymoon.

Chook couldn't come.

[Girls Laughing]

- No, l...
- Tania!

What a fantastic surprise.

I don't believe it.

I haven't seen you
since Porpoise Spit High.

- How are you?
- Married.

Muriel told me!

Turkey.

- Chook.
- Chook, that's right.
Well, congratulations!

[Giggles]

Come and have
a drink with us.

- [Cheryl] Yeah.
- Really?

You want to have
a drink with me?

Well, we can't let you spend
the entire holiday alone.

We're not in school
anymore, Rhonda.

You don't have to feel
you're not good enough for us now.

- I don't.
- If I feel you've changed,
I'll tell you.

I'm honest...
unlike some people.

- I tell it like it is.
- The truth?

- Yes.
- I tell the truth too.

Nicole's having
an affair with Chook.

Muriel saw them fucking in the laundry
on your wedding day.

Stick your drink
up your ass, Tania.

I would rather swallow razor blades
than drink with you.

Oh, by the way, I'm not alone.
I'm with Muriel.

[Man]
And now let's hear a warm welcome...

for act five
in the Hibiscus Island star search!

- It's Fabba Abba!
- ♪ My, my ♪

- [Lip Synching]
- ♪ At Waterloo
Napoleon did surrender ♪

♪ Whoa, yeah ♪

♪ And I have met my destiny ♪

♪ In quite a similar way ♪

♪ The history book
on the shelf ♪

♪ Is always
repeating itself ♪

♪ Waterloo, I was defeated
You won the war ♪

♪ Waterloo
Promise to love you forevermore ♪

♪ Waterloo
Couldn't escape if I wanted to ♪

♪ Waterloo
Knowing my fate is to be with you ♪

♪ Wa-Wa-Wa-Wa-Waterloo ♪

♪ I'm finally facing
my Waterloo ♪

♪ My, my ♪

♪ I tried to hold you back
but you were stronger ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ And now it seems
my only chance ♪

♪ Is giving up the fight ♪

♪ And how could I ever refuse ♪

♪ I feel like I win
when I lose ♪

- ♪ Waterloo ♪
- [Crowd Cheering]

- ♪ I was defeated, You won the war ♪
- [Crowd Clapping Along]

♪ Waterloo
Promise to love you forevermore ♪

♪ Waterloo
Couldn't escape if I wanted to ♪

[Crowd Hooting, Whistling]

♪ Waterloo
Knowing my fate is to be with you ♪

- [Crowd Screaming]
- ♪ Wa-Wa-Wa-Wa-Waterloo ♪

- [Screaming]
- ♪ I'm finally facing my Waterloo ♪

- [Tania, Nicole Screaming, Arguing]
- ♪ So how could I ever refuse ♪

- [Screaming]
- ♪ I feel like I win when I lose ♪

- ♪ Waterloo
Couldn't escape if I wanted to ♪
- I'll kill you!

[Screaming Continues]

♪ Waterloo
Knowing my fate is to be with you ♪

♪ Wa-Wa-Wa-Wa-Waterloo ♪

♪ I'm finally facing
my Waterloo ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh, Waterloo ♪

♪ Knowing my fate
is to be with you ♪

- [Screaming]
- [Crowd Cheering, Whistling]

They-They love big wigs!
Congratulations!

"Dear Dad, the girls and I
are having a great time.

"Last night I sold $100 worth
of cosmetics to Barry Crocker.

- Oh.
- Muriel."

$100 worth to Barry Crocker, eh?
How about that.

- [Quietly] P.S. I'm a fatso whale.
- [Both Snickering]

This cosmetic thing is the best thing
that ever happened to Muriel.

It really is. She paid
for this holiday herself.

- Bought clothes to wear, new suitcases.
- Perry, you listening to this?

- [Mumbles] I said, yeah.
- Eh?

Yeah, well, so you should,
you useless lump!

Muriel's out there and she's
made something of herself.

And she was the most useless one of all,
wasn't she, Bill?

Ah, she really impressed me.

I told her that on the way
to the airport for this holiday.

I said, "You've
really impressed me.

You can't type, but you've really
impressed me."

You know what they call this great man?
Bill the Battler.

'Cause he's a little
Aussie battler.

- Been battlin' all me life.
- Battlin' for Porpoise Spit!

[Bill] There's Deidre Chambers.
What a coincidence.

- Deidre! Hey, Deidre!
- Bill! Hello.

What a coincidence.

Take a seat.
Penelope, shift over.

Deidre, Leo Higgins.

He's concreting
Wallum Beach for us.

- Hello, Leo.
- Deidre got Muriel into this
cosmetics thing. Perry.

Show Deidre Muriel's postcard.
Hibiscus Island. How about that?

She should really be
sending you postcards, Deidre.

You're the reason
she's there.

[Slot Machine Paying Off]

- Bill...
- I told you, I'm thinking about it.

Not that. It's Muriel.

In the past two weeks, she's bought
two kits from me at a cost of $40 each.

If she'd sold both kits
for the recommended price,

she'd make $110.

Leaving her
a profit of 30... $30.

What are you talking about?
She's on a $3,000 holiday.

- She's making a fortune.
- [Woman Shouting, Coins Clanking]

Isn't she?

Whoo! Whoo!
[Laughing]

Do you think
I could be famous?

Sure. For what?

[Sighs]
I don't know.

I could be an actress.
I'm mental enough.

[Both Laughing]

♪ My, my ♪

♪ At Waterloo
Napoleon did surrender ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

[Laughs, Sighs]

[Muriel] ♪ There was something
in the air that night ♪

♪ The stars
were bright ♪

[Both]
♪ Fernando ♪

♪ They were shining there
for you and me ♪

♪ For liberty, Fernando ♪

♪ Though we never thought
that we could lose ♪

♪ There's no regrets ♪

♪ If I had to do
the same again ♪

♪ I would, my friend ♪

♪ Fernando ♪

[Both]
♪ If I had to do the same again ♪

♪ I would, my friend ♪

♪ Fernando ♪

Do you ever think
you're nothing?

Sometimes
I think I'm nothing.

Useless.

You're not nothing, Muriel.

You're amazing.

Remember how you were
in school?

You were so quiet
you could hardly talk.

You were too shy
to look at people.

Now you're a success,
and someone wants to marry you.

You're not nothing, Muriel.

You've made it.

♪ Can you hear the drums
Fernando ♪

♪ I remember long ago ♪

♪ Another starry night
like this ♪

♪ In the firelight
Fernando ♪

♪ You were humming
to yourself ♪

♪ And softly strumming
your guitar ♪

♪ I could hear
the distant drums ♪

♪ And sounds of bugle calls
were coming from afar ♪

♪ They were closer now
Fernando ♪

♪ Every hour, every minute
seemed to last eternally ♪

♪ I was so afraid
Fernando ♪

♪ We were young
and full of life ♪

♪ And none of us
prepared to die ♪

♪ And I'm not ashamed to say the roar of
guns and cannons almost made me cry ♪

[TV] The pillow forms the perfect
sleeping cradle for your head and back.

We all have a different shape
to the head and neck.

- By sleeping on a pillow that
fits perfectly with your shape,
- I'm back.

- You relieve stress on muscles.
- You're terrible, Muriel.

- Muriel, Daddy's so angry.
- [TV Continues]

He's on his way back from the bank.
He'll want to talk to you.

All our money's gone.
$12,000.

You didn't do anything bad with
those blank checks I gave you, did you?

- You wouldn't do that to me, would you?
- Of course not.

[TV Continues]

[Talking On Radio]

- ♪ There was something
in the air that night ♪
- Did you bring me a present?

♪ The stars were bright
Fernando ♪

♪ They were shining there
for you and me ♪

♪ For liberty, Fernando ♪

♪ Though we never thought
that we could lose ♪

♪ There's no regret ♪

- ♪ If I had to do the same again ♪
- [Driver] Where to, love?

♪ I would, my friend
Fernando ♪

♪ If I had to do
the same again ♪

♪ I would, my friend
Fernando ♪

[Announcer #1] When the coach
turns 'round into Stableyard Grove,

we will, for the first time,
see a glimpse of the bride...

with her father,
the Earl Spencer,

and we'll see that wedding dress which
has been kept such a wonderful secret.

There we are.

[Crowd Cheering,
Announcer #2 Talking]

[Audio In Fast-Forward]

[Announcer #2] Quite a job, isn't it?
All those yards of silk.

- [Crowd Cheering]
- Ah, what a dream she looks.
What a dream she looks.

There's a bride any man
would be happy to see
coming down the aisle towards him.

The dress is made of yards
of ivory pure silk taffeta.

It has big sleeves with...

[Mumbles]

Card number?

- Ninety-two. Brice Nobes.
- [Typing]

You take out
a lot of videos.

- Do I?
- [Continues Typing]

You should join
our Video Addicts Club. It's for people
who take out too many videos.

- Too many?
- Oh, you know, a lot. [Laughs]

- Get a dollar off every new release.
- Do you want to go out with me?

You know, on a date.

[Car Horn Honks,
Traffic Passing]

What?
[Laughs]

It's okay. You can say it.
I don't mind.

- [Laughing]
- [Phone Rings]

Videodrama.

It's me. I still can't find any blokes
for us tomorrow night.

- Even Tony's busy,
and his leg's in a cast.
- I've got one.

You're racing off a customer?

You have got the best job
for meeting men!

Turn him around.
I can't see his face.

- Can you look at that dry cleaners
over there, please?
- Sure.

- What do you think?
- It's great.

- [Muriel Laughs]
- Well, it's a start.

Meet me for lunch.
I want to hear every detail.

[Rhonda Laughing]
You are wicked!

This is my new life.
I'm a new person.

- I'm changing my name to Mariel.
- That is your name.

No, Mariel.
M-a-r-i-e-I.

- Muriel...
- Mariel.

Mariel, are you
on the run from the law?

[Gasps]

I don't care if you are.
I'd just like to know.

Well... you know Tim,
my ex-fiancé?

He was a policeman.

You jilted a cop?

He's after you?

Well, he said if I ever left him,
he'd find out who I was living with
and shoot them.

Then he'd shoot me,
then himself.

Shit.

He really loved you,
didn't he?

- ♪ [Disco]
- Wow!

[All Laughing]

♪ [Continues]

Rhonda changed my life.

She would.

- Do you... Do you want
to go somewhere else?
- What?

Do you want to go
somewhere else?

Oh, Rhonda wants
to stay here.

I'm going.
I've got a date.

They're American.
Have fun.

Don't do anything
I wouldn't do.

Hi, guys!

Do you want to dance?

L-l-I'm a terrible dancer.

I don't care.

[Ecstatic Moaning,
Banging Against Wall]

[Rhonda Talking,
Sailors Laughing]

Nice flat.
Very... spacious.

[Talking, Laughing
Continue]

- Cup of tea?
- Sure.

[Clears Throat]

- [Sailors] Come here. Here.
Right there. Right there.
- Yeah. Oh!

[Ecstatic Moaning, Laughing,
Thumping]

[Rhonda Laughing]
You're being a bad boy! Yes!

[Sailor Panting]
Oh, what a guy!

[Laughing, Hooting]

- Bikkies?
- What? Sure.

[Laughing, Hooting Continues]

- [Rhonda] Wait, wait.
- [Sailor] I'm over there.
Look, I'm over there.

Let me get up here.
Hang on, hang on. Hang on.

[Thumping,
Rhonda Moaning]

- [Sailor] Oh, yes.
- [Rhonda Continues Moaning]
Oh, that's rude!

- Ta.
- [Rhonda] Oh, you want to go faster.

- [Sailor] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
- [Rhonda] Oh, push!

[Thumping Continues]

[Orgasmic Moaning]

♪ [TV]

[Newscaster]
In tonight's news:

Holiday makers and staff
airlifted to safety...

as Cyclone Terry devastates
the Hibiscus Island resort.

Buildings and vegetation
were flattened in minutes...

by winds of more
than 160 kilometres per hour.

Rhonda and I went
to that island.

[Sighs]
Looks like fun.

...with president of
the Porpoise Spit council, Bill Heslop,

- admitting that he received
secret payments...
- Tim Tam?

- Maybe after... Later.
- From a Japanese land developer.

- [Sailor Howling]
- Councillor Heslop said his
judgement had been impaired...

by the shock disappearance
of his daughter.

- He made this emotional plea
outside the inquiry.
- Mariel?

- [Bill On TV] Muriel?
- Mariel.

- Muriel, if you're watching this,
- What?

We just want to know
you're all right, love.

We don't care about the money.
The money doesn't matter.

We just want to know
you're all right...

[Panting,
Puts Down His Cup]

[Laughing, Squeals]

I have to tell you
something.

I'm a parking inspector.

That's okay.

- [Giggling]
- [Panting]

- [Grunting]
- [Laughs]

- Oh!
- [Giggling]

[Grunts]

- [Panting]
- [Giggling]

[Continues Giggling, Snorts]

[Squealing, Laughing]

- [Groaning]
- [Continues Giggling]

- [Grunting]
- [Hysterical Laughing]

- [Glass Shattering]
- [Wind Howling]

- [Muriel Screaming, Laughing]
- What did you do to her?

- Nothing.
- Where do you think you're going?
Come back.

- Hey, hey, lady, are you all right?
- [Shrieks]

- [Shrieking Continues]
- [Sailor Grunting] On the ground!

- Did he... What did he do to you?
- [Screams, Laughing]

- I didn't do anything!
- Just shut up!

- What did he do? Keep him down there!
- What are you doing?

- Are you hurt? Are you all right?
- [Laughing, Shrieking]

- Call the cops. Call the cops!
- [Laughing]

- [Laughing]
- Keep him down!

- [Brice] I didn't do anything!
- [Muriel Laughing]

Mariel.

- [Laughing]
- [Rhonda] I can't move my legs.

[Panting Laughter]

[Siren Wailing]

[Talking Softly]

[Floor Waxer Continues]

[Phone Ringing]

[Joanie]
Hello.

It's me. Muriel.

You're terrible, Muriel.

Why is Dad on TV?

- The inquiry.
They're saying he takes bribes.
- Does he?

Yeah, but he had to 'cause
you stole all our money.

- [Betty, Kids Arguing]
- Dad's moved out.

He says it's all Mum's fault
'cause she gave you the checks.

He's living in a hotel.

Who is it? Is it Dad?

- Muriel.
- Muriel. Oh.

Mum wants to talk to you.

Muriel, are you all right?

We didn't know what had happened
to you. We thought you'd become
a prostitute or a drug addict.

- I'm in Sydney.
- Dad's in Sydney for the inquiry.

He'd love to see you.
Where are you staying?

- He just wants to know you're all right.
- Joan said he's moved out.

No.

Well, well, yes,
but only for his health.

Dr. Farrell says
he needs a holiday from us.

- [Men Talking]
- I know he blames me
for you taking the money,

but I never thought
you'd do a thing like that.

Maybe it was a mistake
at the bank...

or I wrote the wrong figure
on the check.

No, I took it.

Yes, maybe you did.

- [Knocking]
- Mum, the Federal Police are here.

Oh, I have to go. We're being raided
again. What's your phone number?

- Uh, I don't have a phone.
- Well, what's your address?

- Look, I'll call you later.
- Ring Dad. He's at the Hilton.

Mrs. Heslop, we want to ask you
some questions about Bill.

And don't lie to us.
We know everything.

[Doctor] This tumour is pressing
on the spinal cord,

interrupting the flow
of electricity to your legs.

The operation will
remove that pressure.

I'd, uh, like to do it soon,
in the next 24 hours.

[Exhales]
How did I get it?

I mean, it's nothing to do
with too much sex, is it?

- [Doctor Chuckling]
No, no, nothing like that.
- [Rhonda, Muriel Sigh]

- We don't know what causes cancer.
- Cancer?
- Cancer?

- [Rhonda]
You never said anything about cancer.
- That's what the tumour is.

- It's a...
- I've got cancer!

Oh, God! I'm going to go bald
and have to eat macrobiotic food!

We're not talking about radio therapy.
This is a discreet tumour.

Alone. Isolated.

- The operation's all we need
for the moment.
- "For the moment"?

There's a minor risk of damage
to the spinal cord.

- What does that mean?
- It means I'm up shit creek,
that's what it means.

[Traffic Passing]

[Distant Siren Wailing]

Silk Chantel.
[Sighs]

Imported.

When's your big day?

Your wedding day?

- September.
- Spring. Ivory.

- What's your fiancé's name?
- Bill. [Sighs]

Well, Bill's in for a big surprise.
[Laughs]

- Will your mother
be coming to see the dress?
- No.

No, she can't.
She's in a hospital.

She's got a tumour
in her spine.

She has to have
an operation.

We don't usually do this.

But your mother has to see
how beautiful you look in that dress.

[Woman] You're doing well.
Isn't she doing well, Mariel?

- You're doing really well.
- Now this foot forward.

- You can do it.
- [Sighs, Sniffs]

Good.
Now the other one.

[Shuddering]

Good.

That's good.

And...

[Clears Throat]

I have to sit down.
[Sniffs]

- Come on.
- [Loudly] I have to sit down!

All right,
I've got you.

Don't panic.
Swing around.

- [Sighs]
- [Therapist] That's it.

- Hand back.
- [Exhales]

Take a break, honey.

- [Panting]
- You're doing really well.

[Crying]

How can you stand this?

You push me around in this chair.
You cook for me.

You even help me dress.
I hate it!

[Crying]

When I lived in Porpoise Spit,
I'd just stay in my room for hours
and listen to Abba songs.

- Sometimes I'd stay in there all day.
- [Inhales]

But since I've met you
and moved to Sydney,

I haven't listened
to one Abba song.

It's because now my life's
as good as an Abba song.

It's as good
as "Dancing Queen."

- Come off it.
- [Exhales]

[Sniffs, Sighs]

Promise me something.

We never go back there.

- What do you mean?
- I mean I can't go back and live
in Porpoise Spit with Mum.

- Not in a wheelchair. Not with her.
- [Sighs] You're going to walk.

Promise we never go back.

- I promise.
- [Sniffs]

You're going to walk.
[Laughs]

I believe there's
something out there.

- I'm-I'm not a sceptic about it.
- ♪ I've been cheated by you ♪

- ♪ Since I don't know when ♪
- [Knocking]

[TV] Too many people have seen it.
There's been too much documentation.

♪ So I made up my mind ♪

- ♪ It must come to an end ♪
- Taxi for the rehabilitation centre?

- Hang on. I have to get my smokes.
- ♪ Look at me now ♪

- Okay.
- ♪ Will I ever learn I don't know how ♪

♪ But I suddenly lose control ♪

♪ There's a fire
within my soul ♪

♪ Just one look
and I can hear a bell ring ♪

♪ One more look
and I forget everything ♪

♪ Oh-oh-oh, mamma mia
here I go again ♪

♪ My, my
how can I resist you ♪

♪ Mamma mia
does it show again ♪

♪ My, my, just how much
I've missed you ♪

♪ Yes, I've been
broken-hearted ♪

♪ Blue since the day we parted ♪

♪ Why, why
did I ever let you go ♪

♪ Mamma mia
now I really know ♪

♪ My, my
I could never let you go ♪

♪ I've been angry and sad
about things that you do ♪

♪ I can't count all the times
that I've told you we're through ♪

♪ And when you go ♪

- Keep going.
- ♪ When you slam the door
I think you know ♪

♪ That you won't
be away too long ♪

♪ You know that
I'm not that strong ♪

- ♪ Just one look
and I can hear a bell... ♪
- Stop the car!

[Tires Screeching,
Horns Honking]

[Sighs]

- Beautiful.
- [Giggles]

I hope the photos help your
sister out of that coma.

- [Rhonda] Mariel!
- [Screams]

- What are you doing?
- N-Nothing.

Why didn't you tell me
you were going to marry Tim?

- Who?
- Tim Simms, your fiancé,
the one who wants to shoot you.

Now, now, now, now, just a minute.
You can't come in here
and threaten brides.

- I don't care how unfortunate you are.
- Fuck off!

- Oh!
- What is going on, Mariel?

I've seen your wedding album.
You've tried on every dress in Sydney.

- That doesn't mean I'm getting married.
- What else does it mean?

[Sighs] I want to get married!
I've always wanted to get married.

- If I can get married, it means
I've changed, I'm a new person.
- [Rhonda] How?

Huh, because who would want
to marry me?

- Tim Simms.
- There is no Tim Simms. I made him up.

In Porpoise Spit,
no one would even look at me.

But when I came to Sydney
and became Mariel, Brice asked me out.

That proves I'm already
different than I was.

And if someone wants to marry me,
I'm not her anymore,

- I'm me.
- Her?

Muriel! Muriel Heslop!

Stupid, fat and useless!
I hate her!

I'm not going back
to being her again.

[Crying]
Why can't it be me?

Why can't I be the one?

[Muriel Crying]

- [Crying Continues]
- Have you been in a coma?

[Sobbing]

[People Chattering]

[Horn Honking,
People Laughing]

[Ringing]

Rhonda?

Dad.

[Diners Talking Softly]

[Lawyer] If they have a copy
of this document, then the option is...

giving you a doctor's certificate
saying you are unfit to testify.

Uh, can I have that title deed, Paul?
That's the one.

We can only assume that Victor Keinosuke
has given them a copy of this deed.

Muriel, why'd you do it to me?

I gave you money.
I got you jobs.

I put her through
this secretarial course.

$2,000 for two years
it cost me.

She comes out,
she can't even type.

I get her into selling cosmetics.
We all think she's making a go of it.

Turns out, she's robbing us blind.
You're a disgrace, an absolute disgrace!

A-Are you Bill the Battler?

I saw you on TV.
Can I please have your autograph?

- Me and my dad think that
you're not guilty, Bill.
- I've changed my name to Mariel.

Good on you, son.
You spread it around.

- [Boy Shouts]
You can't stop progress!
- [Chuckles]

You're coming back
to Porpoise Spit with me.

We'll leave in three weeks,
once this inquiry crap's over.

- I can't go back. I'm a new person.
- You're a thief!

The only reason
I never got the coppers onto you
is your mother begged me not to.

I want that money back.
I'll get you a job at the Leagues Club.

I'll arrange a bank loan
for you.

You're going to make up
for what you've done, Muriel.

It's Deidre Chambers.

Deidre? Deidre.
Hey, Deidre!

Bill!

[Laughs] What a coincidence.
What are you doing in Sydney?

Well, my sister
lives in Sydney.

- I'm down for the long weekend.
What a coincidence.
- Pull up a chair.

My barrister, Graham Newman, his two
solicitors, and Muriel you know about.

It's Mariel!

We should get back, Bill. Victor
Keinosuke's testimony starts at 3:00.

That Jap bastard! He's going
to testify that I took bribes from him.

- Commissions.
- Commissions. I took commissions.

I cut through all that red tape
for him. I deserve some sort
of acknowledgement.

They'd never have got to build
that resort on Crown Land without me.

It was the Crown Land
that did it.

- Total overreaction.
- There were Aboriginals living on it.

[Bill]
The Federal Police raided the house.

Your mother
just let them walk in.

- She and Perry made statements,
told them I had money problems.
- Don't think about it.

Of course I had money problems.
She stole most of it.

[Deidre] You need
your family around you.

- [Bill] If the feds come near
you, don't you say a word.
- Are you and Deidre together?

What?

Have you left Mum
for Deidre?

[Sighs]
Yes. We're in love.

What about Mum?

[Inhales]

What happiness has your father had
in his life if he doesn't have me?

- What about Mum?
- She'll have you.
You've got three weeks.

[Key Turning In Lock,
Door Opening]

[Door Closing]

It's come back.
The tumour.

I have to have
another operation.

I'm not going to walk.

But...
[Sighs]

What about
your rehabilitation?

They're going to cut
my spinal cord, Mariel.

Mum called.

She wants to take me back
to Porpoise Spit.

I told her I was going to
stay here with you.

[Coach Yelling]
Head down! Head down!

Come on! Come on!
Swing it!

Blokes with no legs and no arms
cut through the water faster than that!

[Woman Talking,
Coach Continues Yelling]

Flopping around
all over the place!

Burchett, what do you think this is?
Synchronized swimming?

Water aerobics for geriatrics?
You're supposed to be a sprinter!
Go, go, go, go!

Mariel?

Ken Blundell.

- How are you?
- [Laughs]

[Blundell]
Van Arkle!

I think
we found you a girl.

David Van Arkle,
Mariel Heslop.

Mariel, you've probably seen the news
about the civil war in South Africa.

Well, just as the South Africans seem to
be doing the right thing by the blacks,

the police open fire on a black soccer
club and that is bad news for David.

Are you black?

What?

[Laughing]
I don't know why I said that.

Well, it is funny in a way.

But let's be honest. The South Africans
were never much chop in the pool anyway.

David here is a bit
of a freak really.

And I think that he is
going to get the gold medal...

- for the 1,500 metres
in the next Olympic Games.
- [Gasps]

Mariel, how did you feel
when Kieren Perkins took gold
for Australia at Barcelona?

[Sighs]
Who?

Kieren Perkins.

He's an Australian champion.

Now David's family
are willing to do anything...

to see him fulfill
his potential as a champion.

Even if it means swimming
for another country.

And they're willing
to pay $10,000...

to the girl
that'll help Dave out.

Are you from Sydney originally?

What? No, Porpoise Spit.

A-And why did you
leave there?

Well, because of all the mental things
that happened to me.

I got shallow.

And my physical being
could have been improved,

and, as well
as my mentality.

- What about the black-haired one?
- No, she was Turkish.

She'd only been
in the country five minutes.

Now, whoever marries David...

will have to tell
the immigration authorities
that they're in love with him.

Now, there will be
media attention,

so they'll have to live
with David in his flat...

for at least four months
after the marriage.

I've worked out all
the details of the romance,

which you and David
will have to stick to.

But the most important thing
is to convince people that
you two are really in love.

- What about the blonde?
- You didn't like her.

- I'm not so sure now.
- Now I think Mariel might be
just what we're looking for.

Well, it's up to you now, love.

Would you find it
difficult to lie?

I could try.

Well, don't
rush your decision,

but if you could let us know
by tomorrow morning.

♪ [Playing "Dancing Queen"]

♪ [Humming Along]

- ♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
- [Quietly] ♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

- ♪ You can dance ♪
- ♪ You can dance ♪

- ♪ You can jive ♪
- ♪ You can jive ♪

- ♪ Having the time
of your life ♪
- ♪ Having the time of your life ♪

- ♪ Ooh, see that girl ♪
- ♪ Ooh, see that girl ♪

- ♪ Watch that scene ♪
- ♪ Watch that scene ♪

- ♪ Dig in the Dancing Queen ♪
- ♪ Dig in the Dancing Queen ♪

♪ [Organ Playing
"Ave Maria"]

[People Chattering]

♪ Ave Maria ♪

♪ Gratia plena ♪

I know you couldn't have
got up onto the altar,

- but at least she could have
asked you to be bridesmaid.
- ♪ Maria ♪

- She did.
- Why didn't you say yes?

You could have been
on television.

- ♪ Maria, gratia plena ♪
- I don't want to sit up here, Mum.

- I want to sit in the corner.
- No one will see you over there.

Well, if this is your attitude,
I don't know why you bothered coming.

♪ Ave, ave
Dominus, Dominus tecum ♪

[Sets Chair Brakes]

At least you won't be
in anyone's way.

♪ Benedicta tu in mulieribus ♪

[Giggling, Gasping]

- ♪ Et benedictus ♪
- [Bridesmaids Chattering]

Rhonda?

♪ Et benedictus
fructus ventris ♪

Is that you?

- You're the bridesmaids?
- Isn't it fantastic?

We always knew Mariel
would come good.

- She's in all the papers.
- What happened to you?

- ♪ Ave ♪
- I had cancer.

- ♪ Maria ♪
- It's all right.

They cut it out.
I won't walk again though.

You were
so full of life.

I'm not dead, Cheryl.

Come on. We better get ready.
Mariel's coming.

You must be
so happy for her.

- ♪ Ave Maria ♪
- [Whispering] God, she has cancer!

I'm divorcing Chook.

I suppose I have you
to thank for that.

I hope I can do the same
for you one day.

♪ Mater Dei ♪

♪ Ora pro nobis peccatoribus ♪

[Woman Whispers]

♪ Ora, ora pro nobis ♪

♪ Ora ♪

- ♪ Ora pro nobis ♪
- You told me it would be
a quick civil ceremony.

- Ah, it's good she wanted
a church wedding.
- ♪ Peccatoribus ♪

It's romantic.
It looks like you mean it.

- All the guests are on her side.
- ♪ Nunc et ♪

- I should have hired you some friends.
- ♪ In hora mortis ♪

- The charges don't surprise me.
- [Reporters Clamouring]

The bastards have been out to get me
from the beginning.

- I just wanted you to know...
- [Reporters Shouting]

[Reporters Running, Clamouring]

- [Squealing]
- Mariel, are you marrying David
for money?

- Is this a marriage
of convenience, Mariel?
- How long have you and David...

Your Mum's arriving in Sydney by bus
because I can't afford a plane ticket.

- You see what you've done to me?
- Where is she now?

I don't know.
Trying to get a taxi, I suppose.

♪ Ave Maria ♪

Mariel.

You're beautiful.

♪ ["I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do"
Playing]

♪ Love me or leave me ♪

♪ Make your choice
but believe me ♪

♪ I love you ♪

♪ I do, I do, I do
I do, I do ♪

♪ I can't conceal it ♪

♪ Don't you see
Can't you feel it ♪

♪ Don't you too ♪

♪ I do, I do, I do
I do, I do ♪

♪ Oh, I've been dreaming ♪

♪ Through my lonely past ♪

♪ Now I just made it ♪

♪ I've found you at last ♪

♪ So come on now
let's try it ♪

♪ I love you
You can't deny it ♪

- ♪ 'Cause it's true ♪
- Oh, Christ. Oh, God.

Don't panic.
Think of the Games.

♪ I do, I do, I do
I do, I do ♪

She's all yours, mate.

[Priest] Father,
when You created mankind, You willed
that man and wife should be one.

- Join David and Muriel...
- Mariel.

...Mariel in the loving
union of marriage,

so that they may be living witness
to Your divine love in the world.

David, do you take Mariel
to be your wife?

Do you promise to be true to her
in good times and in bad,
in sickness and in health?

To love and honour her
all the days of your life?

Uh, yeah, okay. All right.
Why not? I do.

- Mariel, do you take
David to be your husband?
- [Man Whispering]

Do you promise to be true to him
in good times and in bad,
in sickness and in health?

To love and honour him
all the days of your life?

I do.

[Priest] You have declared
your consent before the church.

May the Lord strengthen that consent
and fill you with His blessings.

What God has joined
men must not divide.

Oh.

Mariel, take this ring
as a sign of my, uh...

- Love and fidelity.
- Love and fidelity.

- Uh...
- In the name of the Father...

In the name of the Father,
Son and Holy Spirit.

David, I take this ring
as a sign of your love and fidelity.

In the name of the Father
and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.

I now pronounce you
man and wife.

- [Muriel Giggling]
- Congratulations.

You may kiss your bride.

[Crowd Sighs, Applauds]

[Giggling]

♪ [Organ Plays Recessional]

[Camera Shutters Clicking]

- [Giggling]
- Congratulations!

David.

[Girls Chattering,
Squealing]

Good on you.

- Mr. Heslop.
- It's Bill.

Mrs. Heslop.

- [Woman Talking]
- [Giggles] Thank you.

- Mariel, congratulations.
- Thank you very much.

You look lovely.
Every success.

- Thank you.
- Mariel...

[Man]
Well done, love.

Good luck.

[Bill Laughing]

[Guests Chattering]

[Camera Shutters Clicking]

[Chattering Continues]

- How do you feel?
- He's fighting fit!

The next gold you'll see on this hand
will be the gold medal
for the 1,500 metres!

- You reckon? [Laughs]
- Oh, yes.

Mariel and us have been friends
for years. We went to Hibiscus Island
together.

- We're like sisters.
- She's my best friend.
L-I tell her everything.

[Woman] Mariel!
Oh, you looked beautiful, Mariel!

Oh, isn't she
beautiful?

She is wearing the makeup,
isn't she?

[Guests Chattering]

Smile.

[Chattering Continues]

I was trying
to hide from you.

I saw your wheels.

I didn't think
you'd come.

I had to see it for myself.
Just the bridesmaids were worth it.

I didn't call them.
They came crawling back to me.

The way they picked on me
in Porpoise Spit, saying
I wouldn't amount to anything,

and here I am famous
and they're at my wedding.

[Giggles]
I showed them.

Showed them what?

I'm as good as they are.

I have to go.
Good luck with what's his name.

Where are you going?

Where do you think?
Back to Porpoise Spit with Mum.

We're catching
the bus out tonight.

I don't want you to.

Well, you should have thought of that
before you gave up on me.

I couldn't pay all the rent without you.
I couldn't even do the shopping.

I needed help.
I needed a friend.

I mean, I don't want you
to go back by bus.

I bought you two plane tickets.

Go to hell.

I already gave them to your Mum.

You're right. You are a new person.
And you stink!

Mariel Van Arkle stinks! And she's not
half the person Muriel Heslop was.

Rhonda, your mum just told us
you're moving back to Porpoise Spit.

[Giggling]
It'll be just like old times!

Don't worry
about Rhonda, Mrs. E.

- We'll push her around.
- [Cheryl Giggling, Chattering]

[Giggling,
Chattering Continue]

[Sighs]

[Sighs]

Are you rich?

My parents own it.

- They didn't come to the wedding.
- No.

They paid for it.

They're in Johannesburg.

Kitchen, lounge room, gym.

You can use everything
but the weights.

Bathroom, my room.

[Opens Door]

Your room.

I'm going downstairs
for a swim.

It wasn't just
the money, was it?

What kind of person marries
someone they don't know?

You did.

I want to win.

All my life
I've wanted to win.

Me too.

[Door Slams]

[Sighs]

[Cash Registers Clicking,
Voice On P.A. System]

[Customers Chattering,
P.A. Announcements Continue]

[Children Shouting,
Cash Register Ringing]

[P.A. Announcements Continue]

[Cash Register
Clicking]

$84.20.

- $84.20.
- Oh.

[Man]
Ninety-nine cents.

Eighty cents.
Ninety, one hundred.

Thanks, Mrs. Heslop.
Have a nice day.

You can see she's not right
in the head.

Look, I'll see
what I can do, Bill.

You're a mate.
I won't forget it.

I'll be in touch.

I meant to pay.

I need help.

Around the house and...

♪ [Turns On Radio]

I'm not coming back.
I want a divorce.

I'm marrying Deidre.

You know what they say?

They say that I wasn't elected
to the state government that time...

because my family
wasn't up to scratch.

That's what they say!
Look at this place!

I never had
a bloody chance!

[Door Closes]

[Engine Starts,
Car Pulls Away]

Get out! Get out
and find yourself a job!

Get out, you layabout!

And stop embarrassing
your father!

- You're an embarrassment!
- You're the embarrassment!
You mad bitch!

[Footsteps Departing]

[Crying]

Oh, no!
[Laughing]

[Ringing]

Mariel Van Arkle speaking.

- [Caller Sniffling]
- Hello?

- [Joanie] Muriel?
- Mariel.

- Mum's died.
- What?

We're all at the hospital.

Dad says you have to come home.

[Chattering
On Taxi Radio]

- [Scrubbing]
- [Penelope] Yeah.

The funeral's tomorrow.
Are you coming?

Russell's
going to be there.

Yeah,
I invited him.

- He says he's going to bring Alan.
- Hi.

- Hi.
- [Deidre] Mariel?

Is that you?

[Softly]
I'm not sure.

It was a heart attack.

Joanie found her.

She was lying on the bed
looking peaceful.

She didn't suffer.

She made the ultimate sacrifice
for your father.

The judge will be lenient on him now.
He's got kids to support.

She'd be glad, in the end,
her life amounted to something.

Deidre, I finished up
in the bathroom.

You were right
about those cupboards.

Let's start
on the laundry then.

It's a big job.

[Woman Whispering]

- What happened?
- Mum burnt it.

- Why?
- Because she got sick and tired
of waiting for Perry to mow it.

[Knocking,
Door Opens]

- [Sighs]
- [Muriel] Hi.

[Door Closes]

[Sighs]

What am I going to do
without her?

Her photo album.

[Opens Album]

She took pills,
sleeping pills.

They were next to her
when I found her,

and when Dr. Farrell come
they were gone.

And when I asked
what happened to 'em,

Dad said he didn't want
anyone to know.

Dr. Farrell said Dad
had been through enough.

[Sighs]

I don't know, maybe he has.

[Mourners Murmuring]

[Organ Playing, Congregation Singing]
♪ The Lord is good to me ♪

♪ His word my hope secures ♪

♪ He will my shield
and portion be ♪

♪ As long as life endures ♪

I have a telefax to read.

[Whispering] Keep your eye
on them journalist bastards.

[Priest]
"To Bill Heslop and family,

"Hazel and I were sorry to hear
of the passing of Betty.

We are thinking of you
in your time of sorrow."

Signed, the Honourable Bob Hawke,

- [Mourners Murmuring]
- Former Prime Minister of Australia.

[Whispering]
What are they doing?

- Th-They're writing it down.
- I'll bet they are.

Put that in your papers, you mongrel
bastards. I've still got friends.

How many families get telegrams
from former prime ministers
when somebody dies?

[Chuckles]
I'm not forgotten.

[Priest]
Betty Heslop lived for her family.

She was very happy about her
daughter Mariel's marriage,

and attending the wedding in Sydney
was one of the highlights of her life.

[Thunder Rumbling]

Her life
during her last days on earth...

- [Panting]
- Made me think of...

[Rain Pouring,
Thunder Continues]

Mariel.

I'm sorry.

[Birds Chirping,
Traffic Passing]

I thought
I was so different.

A new person.

But I'm not.

I'm just the same
as him.

[Crying]

♪ Ave Maria ♪

♪ Gratia plena ♪

♪ Maria, gratia plena ♪

♪ Maria, gratia plena ♪

♪ Ave, ave
Dominus ♪

♪ Dominus tecum ♪

♪ Benedicta tu in mulieribus ♪

[Muriel]
For Heslop.

On the Beach Motel.

One.

I can't stay married
to you, David.

I've got to stop lying now.

I tell so many lies.

One day I won't know
I'm doing it.

I don't love you.

[Sighs]

L-I don't love you either,
but, uh...

I don't know, l-I think
I could like having you around.

- I'll give you the money back.
- It's yours.

[Horn Honks]

Good luck in the Games.

You too.

I don't understand it.

Why'd she burn the backyard?

We've got to stick together.

You've got to help me
with the kids.

What about Deidre?

She'll lend a hand.

I don't think she's keen
to marry me now that living
with the kids has come into it.

Someone's got
to look after them.

It has to be you, Dad.

You owe me, Muriel.

[Opening Her Purse]
This isn't all of it.

I'll pay the rest off when I get back
to Sydney and get a job.

So you're not going to
help me out, is that it?

You owe us, Dad.

We're not useless.
We never were.

Now you're looking after the kids,
and you're going to tell them
they're not useless.

[Chuckles]
How about that telegram from Bob Hawke?

How'd you get that?

I phoned his office.

I was nearly
in the state government.

Fourteen votes I needed.

Nobody knew who'd won for three days
'til the postal vote came in.

For three days
I was almost there.

Couldn't win
a chook raffle now.

Resigned
from the council.

I'm unemployed,
got to go on the dole.

Imagine the faces
when I walk into that dole office.

You reap what you sow.

You'd think I'd have learned
that growing up on a farm.

You reap what you sow.

- [TV Announcer Talking]
- Dad?

The cricket's started.

Hi, Joan.

- Muriel's going back to Sydney.
- Are you?

I thought you were
staying here with us.

Keep in touch.

Bye, Dad.

[Joanie] Do you want me
to open you a can of beer?

That would be lovely, Joanie.
With you in a sec.

I'm giving it another chance
with Chook.

As soon as he gets out
of the correction centre.

They've accused him of raping
a Japanese tourist, which is ridiculous!

Chook hates the Japanese.

We better fly.
We're meeting Rose Biggs for lunch.

Rose Biggs?
Are you friends with her?

Once we got to know her,
we found out she was just like us.

- But Rose Biggs sucked
your husband's cock. Oh, she did.
- Rhonda!

I know, but, well...

I sucked her husband's cock, and it made
me realize we all make mistakes.

[Muriel]
Hi.

- [Mrs. Epinstall] Mariel.
- Muriel.

What a surprise.

Rhonda, Mariel...
Muriel's come to visit you.

Actually I've come to ask Rhonda
if she wants to come back to Sydney.

I've got a taxi outside
and two plane tickets, if you want to.

What about your husband?

We broke up.

[Whispers]
I knew it wouldn't last.

What makes you think
I'd go anywhere with you?

Because I'm your friend.

Muriel, you can't come
barging in here without warning,

trying to turn Rhonda against
the people who love her.

Against the people who were there
for her when she needed them.

- Yes, she can.
- [Sighs]

Sorry, Mum. You know I love you,
but you drive me crazy.

And you three...
What a bunch of cocksuckers.

[Laughing]

Who do you think you are
to call me that?

I'm married!
I'm beautiful!

[Laughing]

♪ You can dance ♪

♪ You can jive ♪

♪ Having the time
of your life ♪

- ♪ Ooh, see that girl
Watch that scene ♪
- See you, Mum.

♪ Dig in
the Dancing Queen ♪

♪ Friday night
and the lights are low ♪

♪ Looking out
for a place to go ♪

♪ Mmm, where they play
the right music ♪

♪ Getting in the swing ♪

♪ You come to look
for a king ♪

- Bye, street.
- ♪ Anybody could be that guy ♪

- Bye, mall!
- ♪ Night is young ♪

- ♪ And the music's high ♪
- Good-bye, beach!

- Good-bye, tourists!
- ♪ With a bit of rock music ♪

- Bye, plaza!
- ♪ Everything is fine ♪

- Good-bye, Surf Club!
- ♪ You're in the mood for a dance ♪

See you, surfies!

- See you, high rises!
- ♪ And when you get the chance ♪

Bye, Fun World!

- Good-bye, Porpoise Spit!
- ♪ You are the Dancing Queen ♪

♪ Young and sweet ♪

♪ Only seventeen ♪

♪ Dancing Queen ♪

♪ Feel the beat
from the tambourine ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ You can dance ♪

♪ You can jive ♪

♪ Having the time
of your life ♪

♪ Ooh, see that girl ♪

♪ Watch that scene ♪

♪ Dig in
the Dancing Queen ♪

♪ You're a teaser
You turn 'em on ♪

♪ Leave 'em burning
and then you're gone ♪

♪ Looking out for another
Anyone will do ♪

♪ You're in the mood
for a dance ♪

♪ And when you
get the chance ♪

♪ You are the Dancing Queen ♪

♪ Young and sweet
Only seventeen ♪

♪ Dancing Queen ♪

♪ Feel the beat
from the tambourine ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ You can dance ♪

♪ You can jive ♪

♪ Having the time
of your life ♪

♪ Ooh, see that girl ♪

♪ Watch that scene ♪

♪ Dig in
the Dancing Queen ♪

♪ Dig in
the Dancing Queen ♪

♪ Can you hear the drums
Fernando ♪

♪ I remember long ago
another starry night like this ♪

♪ In the firelight
Fernando ♪

♪ You were humming
to yourself ♪

♪ And softly strumming
your guitar ♪

♪ I could hear
the distant drums ♪

♪ And sounds of bugle calls
were coming from afar ♪

♪ They were closer now
Fernando ♪

♪ Every hour, every minute
seemed to last eternally ♪

♪ I was so afraid
Fernando ♪

♪ We were young
and full of life ♪

♪ And none of us
prepared to die ♪

♪ And I'm not ashamed to say ♪

♪ The roar of guns and cannons
almost made me cry ♪

♪ There was something
in the air that night ♪

♪ The stars were bright
Fernando ♪

♪ They were shining there
for you and me ♪

♪ For liberty, Fernando ♪

♪ Though we never thought
that we could lose ♪

♪ There's no regret ♪

♪ If I had to do
the same again ♪

♪ I would, my friend ♪

♪ Fernando ♪

♪ If I had to do
the same again ♪

♪ I would, my friend ♪

♪ Fernando ♪