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1
00:00:01,043 --> 00:00:04,254
I'm really sorry,
but we both knew this was coming.
2
00:00:04,463 --> 00:00:06,340
It has nothing
to do with you.
3
00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:08,216
I hope you can forgive me.
4
00:00:08,216 --> 00:00:10,218
(SOBS) Someday.
5
00:00:10,218 --> 00:00:12,179
Dave, stop being
so dramatic.
6
00:00:12,179 --> 00:00:13,388
We're just leaving
for a couple of hours
7
00:00:13,388 --> 00:00:14,806
to take the
family portrait.
8
00:00:14,806 --> 00:00:16,350
But Churro
is family.
9
00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:18,894
Yeah, Mom. Are you sure
we can't bring the pets?
10
00:00:19,144 --> 00:00:20,812
Hamster's devastated.
11
00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:24,274
Yes, I'm sure.
Humans only.
12
00:00:24,274 --> 00:00:25,817
The photographer
is Raul,
13
00:00:25,817 --> 00:00:27,819
the renowned family
portrait taker.
14
00:00:27,819 --> 00:00:29,988
He even photographed
the Royal family.
15
00:00:29,988 --> 00:00:31,198
Like, in England?
16
00:00:31,198 --> 00:00:33,617
No, Murph and Juline Royal.
They live down the block.
17
00:00:33,617 --> 00:00:35,494
It took forever
to get this appointment.
18
00:00:35,494 --> 00:00:36,620
Come on.
We're gonna be late.
19
00:00:38,330 --> 00:00:39,247
(BARKS)
20
00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:42,542
(WHIMPERS)
21
00:00:42,542 --> 00:00:45,420
You should really
work on your separation anxiety.
22
00:00:45,420 --> 00:00:47,964
(BARKS)
When the family's away,
23
00:00:47,964 --> 00:00:51,051
the Hamster will sashay.
24
00:00:51,968 --> 00:00:54,262
HAMSTER: ? We gotta fix
that faucet
25
00:00:54,805 --> 00:00:56,723
WOMAN: ? You've got
the drip, drip drip, drip, drip
26
00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:59,601
HAMSTER: ? We gotta fix
that faucet
27
00:00:59,601 --> 00:01:02,020
CHORUS: ? You've got
the drip, drip drip, drip, drip
28
00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:04,231
HAMSTER: ? Call the plumber
? He's a professional
29
00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:07,025
? We gotta
We gotta call the plumber ? Drip, drip, drip
30
00:01:07,025 --> 00:01:08,193
? Call the plumber
31
00:01:08,193 --> 00:01:09,403
? He's a professional
32
00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:13,448
? We gotta
We gotta call the plumber ? ? Drip, drip, drip ?
33
00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:14,699
CAROLINA:
Oh, my goodness.
34
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:16,868
This is so fancy.
35
00:01:16,868 --> 00:01:19,162
This linoleum costs
more than our house.
36
00:01:19,162 --> 00:01:21,581
Wow. These portraits
are so lifelike.
37
00:01:21,581 --> 00:01:24,668
Yeah. I feel like
this one is staring right at me.
38
00:01:24,668 --> 00:01:26,211
Can I help you?
(BOTH SHRIEKING)
39
00:01:26,211 --> 00:01:27,379
It's okay, kids.
40
00:01:27,379 --> 00:01:29,131
This is our
photographer, Raul.
41
00:01:29,131 --> 00:01:31,258
You must be
the Grant-Gomezes.
42
00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:34,010
It's an absolute pleasure
43
00:01:34,010 --> 00:01:35,262
for you to work
with me.
44
00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:38,348
Just follow these
471 guidelines,
45
00:01:38,348 --> 00:01:41,351
and I promise to
make you sparkle.
46
00:01:41,351 --> 00:01:42,894
Sounds fun.
47
00:01:42,894 --> 00:01:45,772
Now, for our theme,
we were thinking something...
48
00:01:45,772 --> 00:01:48,942
Against the rules.
You don't pick the theme, the theme picks you.
49
00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:50,235
And I pick the theme
that picks you.
50
00:01:50,569 --> 00:01:52,612
Okay.
So what do we do?
51
00:01:52,612 --> 00:01:54,698
Oh, simple.
Do what Raul says,
52
00:01:54,698 --> 00:01:56,241
stand where Raul
tells you to.
53
00:01:56,241 --> 00:01:58,785
And, most
importantly, smile.
54
00:01:59,202 --> 00:02:01,288
But only when Raul
tells you to smile!
55
00:02:01,288 --> 00:02:02,330
(CELL PHONE VIBRATES)
56
00:02:03,373 --> 00:02:05,083
Oh, and absolutely
no cell phones.
57
00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:06,168
Sorry.
58
00:02:06,877 --> 00:02:09,421
Is it too late to just
take a group selfie in the parking lot?
59
00:02:09,421 --> 00:02:11,298
Come on, Kev.
This will be fun.
60
00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:12,382
RAUL: Uh-uh-uh.
61
00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:13,425
Number 216.
62
00:02:13,425 --> 00:02:14,843
DAVE: "No lying
to your kids."
63
00:02:14,843 --> 00:02:16,386
Man, this guy
thought of everything.
64
00:02:16,636 --> 00:02:18,597
(EDM MUSIC PLAYING)
(DOORBELL RINGS)
65
00:02:18,597 --> 00:02:22,684
WOMAN: Pizza delivery for
a Mr. Hamster Grant-Gomez.
66
00:02:24,769 --> 00:02:25,770
Whoa.
67
00:02:25,770 --> 00:02:29,274
I mean, hey,
are you Mr. Hamster?
68
00:02:29,274 --> 00:02:30,859
That's me.
A person.
69
00:02:30,859 --> 00:02:33,195
Uh, sir, please don't
take this the wrong way,
70
00:02:33,195 --> 00:02:36,281
but you seem awfully made
of cleaning products.
71
00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:37,407
HAMSTER:
Industrial accident.
72
00:02:37,407 --> 00:02:38,783
Oh, that's hardcore.
73
00:02:39,367 --> 00:02:40,911
Thanks for the tip!
74
00:02:40,911 --> 00:02:42,329
Steady. Steady.
75
00:02:42,329 --> 00:02:43,580
Whoa, whoa!
76
00:02:44,372 --> 00:02:45,665
(GRUNTS)
77
00:02:45,916 --> 00:02:47,125
(SIGHS)
78
00:02:48,460 --> 00:02:49,753
Wait, something's wrong.
79
00:02:50,253 --> 00:02:51,671
Oh, I forgot
to close the door.
80
00:02:51,671 --> 00:02:54,382
That was close.
I hate eating pizza when there's a draft.
81
00:02:55,383 --> 00:02:56,259
Hold, hold.
82
00:02:56,801 --> 00:02:57,886
Hold, hold.
83
00:02:57,886 --> 00:02:59,262
Pose, pose.
84
00:02:59,262 --> 00:03:01,765
(GRUNTS) Your faces,
why are you like that?
85
00:03:01,765 --> 00:03:03,517
These pantaloons
are itchy.
86
00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:05,101
And I'm boiling.
87
00:03:05,101 --> 00:03:07,771
There are, like,
20 other dresses under this dress.
88
00:03:07,771 --> 00:03:08,813
Uh-uh-uh.
89
00:03:08,813 --> 00:03:11,316
"No complaining."
(ALL GROANING)
90
00:03:11,316 --> 00:03:13,443
Ah. Groans are
a kind of complaint.
91
00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:16,404
(ALL SIGHING)
And sighs are a kind of groan,
92
00:03:16,404 --> 00:03:17,531
which is
a kind of complaint.
93
00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:19,366
What I need is
elegance, grace.
94
00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:20,951
Where is this
family's flair?
95
00:03:20,951 --> 00:03:23,745
Oh, I have some earrings
in the cup holder in the minivan.
96
00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:25,121
Ugh. This theme
isn't working.
97
00:03:25,121 --> 00:03:26,957
Okay, the court of
the Sun King is out.
98
00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:27,791
Let's try another.
99
00:03:27,791 --> 00:03:29,501
Ah, fancy
leg scratcher.
100
00:03:29,501 --> 00:03:31,211
Great. Now I'll
have to burn this.
101
00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:36,591
Ugh. They always
singe the crust.
102
00:03:36,591 --> 00:03:40,804
Oh, Churro, I got
some pizza bones just for you.
103
00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:44,975
Hmm, it's so quiet.
104
00:03:44,975 --> 00:03:48,562
And there's an absence of
dumb energy in the house.
105
00:03:49,020 --> 00:03:50,272
Oh, no!
106
00:03:50,272 --> 00:03:55,026
Churro!
107
00:03:55,443 --> 00:03:57,028
(HAMSTER SCREAMING)
108
00:03:57,362 --> 00:03:59,990
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Hamster.
109
00:03:59,990 --> 00:04:01,408
We got
a code Homeward Bound.
110
00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:02,993
Code, Homeward Bound.
111
00:04:04,286 --> 00:04:06,454
The Secretary
of the Interior has been taken?
112
00:04:06,454 --> 00:04:08,707
No, the code sheet
was updated.
113
00:04:08,707 --> 00:04:10,542
I lost the dog.
What happened?
114
00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:12,586
A pizza was ordered,
mistakes were made.
115
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:14,462
It was nobody's fault.
116
00:04:14,462 --> 00:04:16,006
Can you help me or not?
117
00:04:16,006 --> 00:04:18,842
(SIGHS) Lucky for you,
Uncle Dave put a tracking collar on Churro.
118
00:04:18,842 --> 00:04:20,552
According to the
online dog tracker,
119
00:04:20,552 --> 00:04:23,221
he's on Front Street downtown.
120
00:04:23,221 --> 00:04:24,389
Copy that. Thanks.
121
00:04:24,389 --> 00:04:26,600
And by the way, Fred,
don't tell anyone about this.
122
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,685
Already forgotten.
Already hanging up.
123
00:04:36,067 --> 00:04:37,360
(CHURRO BARKING)
124
00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:45,074
Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org
125
00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:49,414
(BARKING)
126
00:04:59,591 --> 00:05:01,885
Hey, you can't
dog burgle in here.
127
00:05:01,885 --> 00:05:03,219
Whoa!
128
00:05:14,689 --> 00:05:17,317
MAN: ? You and me
out on the town together
129
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:18,777
? With no plans
130
00:05:18,777 --> 00:05:20,820
? We come and go whenever we
131
00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:23,615
? Feel like trying
a new endeavor
132
00:05:23,615 --> 00:05:26,409
? We're looking sharp
and feeling clever
133
00:05:26,409 --> 00:05:29,829
? You and me
out on the town
134
00:05:29,829 --> 00:05:34,876
? You and me
out on the town together
135
00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:41,132
? We can hang out
by the fountain
136
00:05:41,132 --> 00:05:44,761
? Or just run along
the boulevard
137
00:05:44,761 --> 00:05:47,514
? Slow down
for some window shopping
138
00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:50,684
? It doesn't have
to be that hard
139
00:05:51,476 --> 00:05:55,355
? It doesn't have
to be that hard (YELLING IN FRUSTRATION)
140
00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:57,816
? Let's be foolish
Let's break away
141
00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:01,027
? We can both take
a personal day
142
00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:04,280
? I know this might
sound a bit cliche
143
00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:07,617
? But I always want it
to be this way
144
00:06:07,617 --> 00:06:10,578
? You and me
out on the town
145
00:06:10,578 --> 00:06:14,791
? You and me
out on the town together
146
00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:17,293
? Out on the town together
147
00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:21,131
? Out on the town together ?
148
00:06:27,011 --> 00:06:30,807
You're space explorers
floating in the black void of space.
149
00:06:30,807 --> 00:06:32,267
You got sucked out
of the spaceship,
150
00:06:32,267 --> 00:06:34,185
and you're holding
your breath right now.
151
00:06:34,185 --> 00:06:35,520
But if you hold
your breath in space,
152
00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:37,063
your lungs pop
like balloons.
153
00:06:37,772 --> 00:06:39,816
All right.
Family lost in space is not working.
154
00:06:40,483 --> 00:06:41,443
Let's try another.
155
00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:44,320
Fred, where's
Churro now?
156
00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:45,321
"He's at the ducks"?
157
00:06:45,321 --> 00:06:49,367
(READING)
158
00:06:54,372 --> 00:06:55,248
(WORKERS LAUGHING)
159
00:07:00,045 --> 00:07:00,962
Gotcha.
160
00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:04,132
Oh, you're
so slippery.
161
00:07:09,721 --> 00:07:18,396
Hmm.
(BARKING)
162
00:07:18,396 --> 00:07:19,522
(SIGHS)
163
00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:20,440
Well, if we
circle back...
164
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,025
Oh, no, that
building's falling right at us.
165
00:07:22,025 --> 00:07:23,151
It's okay, everyone.
166
00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:24,736
We just need
to follow the evacuation plan.
167
00:07:25,361 --> 00:07:26,905
Which one of us is
the floor captain?
168
00:07:28,698 --> 00:07:29,616
Okay, so that's
two votes for me
169
00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:30,658
and two votes
for William.
170
00:07:30,658 --> 00:07:32,118
We're wasting
valuable time!
171
00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:33,912
What's more
valuable than democracy?
172
00:07:36,372 --> 00:07:37,707
We're saved!
173
00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:39,584
No, democracy
is saved.
174
00:07:41,669 --> 00:07:43,421
"He's at the bark.
175
00:07:43,421 --> 00:07:45,340
(READING)
176
00:07:49,594 --> 00:07:51,179
Wait. I'm doing
this all wrong.
177
00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:52,722
He's a dumb dog.
178
00:07:52,722 --> 00:07:54,641
I just need to
outsmart him.
179
00:07:59,103 --> 00:08:00,063
Ah!
180
00:08:01,439 --> 00:08:03,066
HAMSTER:
Hello, Churro.
181
00:08:05,568 --> 00:08:06,820
I bet you're
pretty hungry
182
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:09,489
from all that
running around.
183
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,074
But what's this?
184
00:08:12,700 --> 00:08:13,827
That's it.
185
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:15,662
A little more.
186
00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:22,669
(CHURRO SNIFFING)
(GRUNTS) No!
187
00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:23,795
Pardon me,
excuse me.
188
00:08:23,795 --> 00:08:25,463
Ew. Raisins
in potato salad.
189
00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:27,006
(GROANS)
190
00:08:31,386 --> 00:08:32,345
(CLEARS THROAT)
191
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:36,766
Ooh. Sorry
about the mess.
192
00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:38,101
Is this one of
those situations
193
00:08:38,101 --> 00:08:40,061
where a simple
apology will do?
194
00:08:42,564 --> 00:08:43,565
Let me get
my checkbook.
195
00:08:45,733 --> 00:08:47,569
(KNOCKING ON WINDOW)
196
00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:50,405
Oh, a dog collar,
but no dog.
197
00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:51,865
Always a good sign.
198
00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:53,700
I lost him, Fred.
199
00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:55,159
And now
we can't track him.
200
00:08:55,159 --> 00:08:56,578
So you're just
going to give up?
201
00:08:56,828 --> 00:08:58,037
Please. No.
202
00:08:58,037 --> 00:09:00,623
I'm sure I could start
a new life somewhere.
203
00:09:00,623 --> 00:09:02,083
Leave all this behind.
204
00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:04,711
Move to New Orleans,
join a barbershop quartet,
205
00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:06,796
run ghost tours
on the side.
206
00:09:06,796 --> 00:09:08,339
Not for the money,
of course,
207
00:09:08,339 --> 00:09:10,967
but just to
escape the ghosts of my own past.
208
00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:13,678
Stop. You just need
to think like Churro.
209
00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:14,721
Okay.
210
00:09:15,013 --> 00:09:16,764
(MIMICS CHURRO PANTING)
211
00:09:16,764 --> 00:09:18,725
Well, that
accomplished nothing.
212
00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:20,894
No. We need to
figure out what Churro wants
213
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:22,103
more than anything.
214
00:09:22,103 --> 00:09:23,021
Think.
215
00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:32,780
(INAUDIBLE)
216
00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:35,283
I got it.
217
00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:37,660
You're welcome,
by the way.
218
00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:38,786
Ungrateful rodent.
219
00:09:39,203 --> 00:09:40,496
(SNIFFING)
220
00:09:45,376 --> 00:09:46,544
(CHURRO BARKING)
221
00:09:46,544 --> 00:09:47,754
HAMSTER: Gotcha.
222
00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:49,172
Did anybody hear that?
223
00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:51,758
Come on.
Time to go home.
224
00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:52,884
(CHURRO WHINING)
225
00:09:55,553 --> 00:09:56,512
All right, buddy.
226
00:09:56,721 --> 00:09:57,972
I love them, too.
227
00:09:57,972 --> 00:10:00,308
What do you say
we crash their photo?
228
00:10:02,894 --> 00:10:05,688
I'd know those paws
on linoleum any day.
229
00:10:05,688 --> 00:10:06,731
Aw.
Hamster.
230
00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:07,941
What are you doing here?
231
00:10:09,359 --> 00:10:11,903
DAVE: Too much
lovies, Churro. Too much.
232
00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:14,697
You know the rules.
No pets.
233
00:10:14,697 --> 00:10:16,032
Hey, these are
not just pets.
234
00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:17,200
They're family.
235
00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:18,826
Look, they
missed us so much,
236
00:10:18,826 --> 00:10:20,828
they ran
all the way here to find us.
237
00:10:21,829 --> 00:10:23,498
Oh, yeah.
How wonderful.
238
00:10:23,498 --> 00:10:25,750
This is exactly what
I've been looking for.
239
00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:27,794
Everyone,
ditch those costumes.
240
00:10:28,711 --> 00:10:29,837
Oh, flawed composition,
241
00:10:29,837 --> 00:10:32,048
chaotic staging,
cliched theme.
242
00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:34,634
Mmm! Truly
a masterpiece.
243
00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:37,053
Wow, we look great.
244
00:10:37,053 --> 00:10:39,138
Our beautiful
family together.
245
00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:41,599
Can't put
a price on love.
246
00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:44,018
That will be $609.
247
00:10:44,018 --> 00:10:45,728
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
248
00:10:46,104 --> 00:10:48,231
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
249
00:10:58,116 --> 00:11:00,410
? Hamster and Gretel
250
00:11:06,624 --> 00:11:09,168
? It's Hamster
251
00:11:09,168 --> 00:11:11,295
? Hamster and Gretel ?
252
00:11:12,305 --> 00:12:12,740
api.OpenSubtitles.org is deprecated, please
implement REST API from OpenSubtitles.com
253
00:12:12,790 --> 00:12:17,340
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