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1
00:00:02,279 --> 00:00:03,647
[rock music]
2
00:00:03,714 --> 00:00:06,283
- Are you a fan
of Beardy Yum Yums?
3
00:00:06,350 --> 00:00:08,085
all: Yeah!
- Well, too bad,
4
00:00:08,152 --> 00:00:11,122
because there's a new
snack favorite in town.
5
00:00:11,188 --> 00:00:12,523
Introducing
6
00:00:12,589 --> 00:00:13,890
the new and improved
7
00:00:13,957 --> 00:00:16,127
Flavor Blasted
Beardy Yum Yums--
8
00:00:16,192 --> 00:00:19,963
now with twice the flavor
and twice the beard!
9
00:00:20,030 --> 00:00:22,666
And for the first time,
the Eew Corporation
10
00:00:22,733 --> 00:00:27,037
has made their delicious
beard snack 100% organic!
11
00:00:27,104 --> 00:00:28,972
- Organic power!
12
00:00:29,039 --> 00:00:31,375
* *
13
00:00:31,442 --> 00:00:32,676
all: Ah!
14
00:00:32,743 --> 00:00:34,511
- Made from
sustainable ingredients,
15
00:00:34,578 --> 00:00:36,680
Organic Flavor Blasted
Beardy Yum Yums
16
00:00:36,747 --> 00:00:39,082
are a healthy alternative
that can be eaten
17
00:00:39,150 --> 00:00:43,420
whenever and wherever
the urge hits you.
18
00:00:43,487 --> 00:00:46,190
[medical device beeping]
19
00:00:46,257 --> 00:00:47,691
- After a ten-hour surgery,
20
00:00:47,758 --> 00:00:49,393
I can sure use a pick-me-up.
21
00:00:49,460 --> 00:00:51,562
[chips crunch]
Thanks, Eew Corp.
22
00:00:51,628 --> 00:00:53,964
- When you're a long way
from home, it's nice to know
23
00:00:54,030 --> 00:00:56,167
there's a healthy snack
you can count on.
24
00:00:56,233 --> 00:00:58,902
Thanks, Eew Corp.
25
00:00:58,969 --> 00:01:00,371
Ah--
[screams]
26
00:01:00,437 --> 00:01:02,839
- Organic Flavor Blasted
Beardy Yum Yums,
27
00:01:02,906 --> 00:01:04,541
the nourishing beard treat
28
00:01:04,608 --> 00:01:06,510
the whole family can enjoy.
29
00:01:06,577 --> 00:01:09,813
all: Mmm!
That's good beard!
30
00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:11,648
Only available
in Eew Corporation-branded
31
00:01:11,715 --> 00:01:13,450
vending machines.
Demand your office, school,
32
00:01:13,517 --> 00:01:14,718
fitness center
or local hospital
33
00:01:14,785 --> 00:01:15,786
install one today!
34
00:01:15,852 --> 00:01:17,721
- [laughs]
This is it!
35
00:01:17,788 --> 00:01:19,256
This is how
I will be remembered!
36
00:01:19,323 --> 00:01:23,026
I will bring Organic
Flavor Blasted Beardy Yum Yums
37
00:01:23,093 --> 00:01:24,495
to PS 38!
38
00:01:24,561 --> 00:01:26,963
This is my legacy!
39
00:01:27,030 --> 00:01:29,132
[upbeat music]
40
00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:31,735
- * Don't want to go
to school today *
41
00:01:31,802 --> 00:01:34,271
* The sun is red hot,
and I wanna play *
42
00:01:34,338 --> 00:01:37,107
* But if I get caught
they'll make me pay *
43
00:01:37,174 --> 00:01:38,709
* Detention again *
44
00:01:38,775 --> 00:01:40,211
- * Big Nate, Big Nate *
45
00:01:40,277 --> 00:01:41,645
- * Math and social studies
just ain't my thing *
46
00:01:41,712 --> 00:01:43,046
- * Big Nate, Big Nate *
47
00:01:43,113 --> 00:01:44,948
- * Rocking with my band
is where I'm king *
48
00:01:45,015 --> 00:01:50,421
* Stealing the teacher's teeth
or bailing on a test *
49
00:01:50,487 --> 00:01:52,522
- * Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh,
ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh *
50
00:01:52,588 --> 00:01:53,957
* Big Nate! *
51
00:01:54,024 --> 00:01:55,426
[loud clang]
52
00:01:55,492 --> 00:01:57,060
[loud crash]
53
00:01:58,862 --> 00:02:03,166
- Principal Nichols, PS 38
deserves a new snack machine,
54
00:02:03,234 --> 00:02:04,635
something we can be proud of,
55
00:02:04,701 --> 00:02:06,803
filled with wholesome,
organic snacks,
56
00:02:06,870 --> 00:02:08,739
like our forefathers intended.
57
00:02:08,805 --> 00:02:10,474
- Nate, I appreciate
your passion,
58
00:02:10,540 --> 00:02:12,376
but we already have
a snack machine.
59
00:02:12,443 --> 00:02:13,644
- You mean Old Hank?
60
00:02:15,346 --> 00:02:18,682
- Wah, it's piercing my skin!
61
00:02:18,749 --> 00:02:21,652
[suspenseful music]
62
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[machine munches]
63
00:02:24,955 --> 00:02:26,357
- [screams]
64
00:02:26,423 --> 00:02:28,625
- Come on,
you stupid pile of junk.
65
00:02:28,692 --> 00:02:30,494
Give me my Crab Doodles!
66
00:02:30,561 --> 00:02:31,662
[machine rattles]
67
00:02:33,896 --> 00:02:36,032
- Please!
A new snack machine
68
00:02:36,098 --> 00:02:37,501
could be my legacy!
69
00:02:37,568 --> 00:02:40,103
- Son, your legacy will be
the butt print you've left
70
00:02:40,170 --> 00:02:42,306
on your favorite chair
in the detention room.
71
00:02:42,372 --> 00:02:44,541
- True, my butt is legendary.
72
00:02:44,608 --> 00:02:46,643
But I'm talking about
what I wanna leave behind
73
00:02:46,710 --> 00:02:48,379
for the school,
for the children,
74
00:02:48,445 --> 00:02:50,414
for all mankind.
75
00:02:50,481 --> 00:02:53,016
- Nate, I'm a week away
from renting our soccer field
76
00:02:53,083 --> 00:02:54,418
to grazing cattle.
77
00:02:54,485 --> 00:02:56,853
We simply can't afford
a fancy new snack machine.
78
00:02:56,920 --> 00:02:59,222
- What if I could
raise the money?
79
00:02:59,290 --> 00:03:01,091
- Hmm...
80
00:03:01,157 --> 00:03:03,460
[all cheering]
- Students of PS 38!
81
00:03:03,527 --> 00:03:05,228
Teachers, friends!
82
00:03:05,296 --> 00:03:06,697
and Gina.
- [grunts]
83
00:03:06,763 --> 00:03:10,033
- Too long have we suffered
under the yolk of tyranny
84
00:03:10,100 --> 00:03:12,536
known as Old Hank.
85
00:03:12,603 --> 00:03:15,639
- [scoffs]
Old Hank gave me coin acne!
86
00:03:15,706 --> 00:03:17,874
- Old Hank ate
my favorite hand!
87
00:03:17,941 --> 00:03:20,811
- Old Hank put my parents
in prison!
88
00:03:20,877 --> 00:03:21,878
[record scratch]
Sorry, what rally
89
00:03:21,945 --> 00:03:23,914
is this again?
- I say to you
90
00:03:23,980 --> 00:03:26,583
that a proper snack machine is
not just a privilege,
91
00:03:26,650 --> 00:03:28,985
but a right!
That is why I, Nate Wright,
92
00:03:29,052 --> 00:03:31,521
have decided to make
an Eew Corp-branded
93
00:03:31,588 --> 00:03:33,390
state-of-the-art snack machine
94
00:03:33,457 --> 00:03:37,461
filled with healthy Organic
Flavor Blasted Beardy Yum Yums
95
00:03:37,528 --> 00:03:40,331
my legacy at PS 38!
96
00:03:40,396 --> 00:03:44,134
[all cheer]
97
00:03:44,199 --> 00:03:45,134
- Stop!
98
00:03:45,201 --> 00:03:46,503
Stop this fraud!
99
00:03:46,570 --> 00:03:48,204
all: Aw.
- Nate Wright,
100
00:03:48,271 --> 00:03:50,441
you claim these snacks
are healthy,
101
00:03:50,507 --> 00:03:53,109
but have you even read
the ingredients?
102
00:03:53,176 --> 00:03:54,811
- I don't need to, okay?
103
00:03:54,878 --> 00:03:56,279
It says right on the package,
"Organic,"
104
00:03:56,347 --> 00:03:59,015
which means it's true.
That's the law.
105
00:03:59,082 --> 00:04:00,116
[all cheer]
106
00:04:00,183 --> 00:04:02,052
- Companies don't lie!
107
00:04:02,118 --> 00:04:03,420
- Yeah, heretic!
108
00:04:03,487 --> 00:04:04,621
- Stop!
109
00:04:04,688 --> 00:04:08,359
Open your eyes, you pinhead!
110
00:04:08,425 --> 00:04:09,493
Ah!
111
00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:10,827
- The road to snacking bliss
112
00:04:10,894 --> 00:04:12,729
will not come without a cost!
113
00:04:12,796 --> 00:04:14,565
6,000 bucks, actually.
114
00:04:14,631 --> 00:04:16,032
Fortunately, I, Nate Wright,
115
00:04:16,098 --> 00:04:18,401
have devised a plan
to raise the money.
116
00:04:18,469 --> 00:04:21,437
All right, now, let's get out
there and make my legacy
117
00:04:21,505 --> 00:04:24,040
a reality!
Montage time.
118
00:04:24,107 --> 00:04:25,976
- * 'Cause I'm on top
of the world, hey! *
119
00:04:26,042 --> 00:04:26,977
[laughter]
120
00:04:27,043 --> 00:04:28,745
- Oh.
121
00:04:28,812 --> 00:04:31,415
- The dream always
begins the same--
122
00:04:31,482 --> 00:04:32,749
I'm on a trampoline--
123
00:04:32,816 --> 00:04:34,585
[both scream]
124
00:04:34,651 --> 00:04:36,252
- [chuckles nervously]
Bye.
125
00:04:36,319 --> 00:04:38,789
- [grunts]
Problems with mother begin
126
00:04:38,855 --> 00:04:42,493
begin shortly
after I arrived from her womb.
127
00:04:42,559 --> 00:04:43,960
[register dings]
128
00:04:44,027 --> 00:04:45,362
- * And I know it's hard *
129
00:04:45,429 --> 00:04:47,798
- [screaming]
130
00:04:47,864 --> 00:04:48,899
[register dings]
131
00:04:48,965 --> 00:04:51,034
- * Get up now,
get up *
132
00:04:51,101 --> 00:04:52,569
[rooster clucks]
133
00:04:52,636 --> 00:04:53,937
- [snickers]
134
00:04:54,004 --> 00:04:55,205
- Shame.
135
00:04:55,271 --> 00:04:57,107
Shame.
136
00:04:57,173 --> 00:04:58,308
Shame!
137
00:04:58,375 --> 00:04:59,610
- Adios, old timer!
138
00:04:59,676 --> 00:05:01,445
- Snack you later, loser!
139
00:05:01,512 --> 00:05:02,713
- Don't let the door hit ya
140
00:05:02,779 --> 00:05:04,781
where your manufacturer
split ya!
141
00:05:04,848 --> 00:05:07,784
all: Ooh!
Ah!
142
00:05:07,851 --> 00:05:10,787
[majestic music]
143
00:05:10,854 --> 00:05:12,022
* *
144
00:05:12,088 --> 00:05:13,490
Wow!
145
00:05:13,557 --> 00:05:14,691
- Pretty awesome, Nate.
146
00:05:14,758 --> 00:05:16,092
Proud of you.
- Me too.
147
00:05:16,159 --> 00:05:18,128
Nate Wright committing
a selfless act is...
148
00:05:18,194 --> 00:05:20,431
- It's a stinking miracle, bro!
That's what it is.
149
00:05:20,497 --> 00:05:21,998
- Like heaven opened up
150
00:05:22,065 --> 00:05:24,167
and said, "Eat me."
[giggles]
151
00:05:24,234 --> 00:05:26,169
- Thanks, guys.
Ah, what can I say?
152
00:05:26,236 --> 00:05:28,138
I'm a giver.
It's who I am.
153
00:05:28,204 --> 00:05:29,139
It's what I do.
154
00:05:29,205 --> 00:05:31,575
* *
155
00:05:31,642 --> 00:05:34,310
[all cheering]
156
00:05:34,377 --> 00:05:36,513
all: Ooh!
157
00:05:36,580 --> 00:05:38,181
Ah...
158
00:05:38,248 --> 00:05:39,215
- Nate Wright,
159
00:05:39,282 --> 00:05:40,784
since you are responsible
160
00:05:40,851 --> 00:05:43,019
for this marvelous
snacking technology,
161
00:05:43,086 --> 00:05:44,488
I think it's only fair--
- [gasps]
162
00:05:44,555 --> 00:05:46,222
- If you get the first bag.
163
00:05:46,289 --> 00:05:47,924
[coin shings]
164
00:05:47,991 --> 00:05:49,192
- Don't mind if I do.
165
00:05:50,260 --> 00:05:53,530
[machine beeping]
166
00:05:53,597 --> 00:05:55,666
- Beardy...
both: Yum Yums.
167
00:05:55,732 --> 00:05:57,000
- [gasps]
[inhales]
168
00:05:57,067 --> 00:05:58,034
[sighs]
169
00:05:58,101 --> 00:05:58,969
- Stop!
[record scratches]
170
00:05:59,035 --> 00:06:00,403
- [groans]
Not again.
171
00:06:00,471 --> 00:06:03,440
- Principal Nichols, a snack
machine full of junk food
172
00:06:03,507 --> 00:06:04,941
is in direct violation
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00:06:05,008 --> 00:06:07,511
of PS 38's charter.
174
00:06:07,578 --> 00:06:10,113
- This is clearly your
handwriting on toilet paper,
175
00:06:10,180 --> 00:06:13,684
Gina, and I hope
this is brown ink.
176
00:06:13,750 --> 00:06:16,753
- [grunts]
Open your eyes, sheeple!
177
00:06:16,820 --> 00:06:18,922
Mr. Galvin,
you're the science teacher.
178
00:06:18,989 --> 00:06:21,124
You know how dangerous
these snacks can be.
179
00:06:21,191 --> 00:06:22,593
Tell them!
180
00:06:22,659 --> 00:06:26,062
- I--I need more data...
181
00:06:26,129 --> 00:06:27,564
- I think we've heard enough.
182
00:06:27,631 --> 00:06:29,099
Remove the disbeliever!
183
00:06:29,165 --> 00:06:30,333
[all boo]
- [screams]
184
00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:32,002
Twice in one day!
185
00:06:32,068 --> 00:06:34,404
Why does this keep
happening to me?
186
00:06:34,471 --> 00:06:35,939
[grunts]
[all cheer]
187
00:06:36,006 --> 00:06:37,373
- All right,
now, where were we?
188
00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:39,910
[laughs]
Oh, yeah.
189
00:06:39,976 --> 00:06:42,012
[munching]
Mmm, mmm.
190
00:06:42,077 --> 00:06:43,514
- Well?
Come on, Nate.
191
00:06:43,580 --> 00:06:44,715
Tell us how it is.
192
00:06:44,781 --> 00:06:47,518
- [munches]
Oh, it is so good--mmm.
193
00:06:47,584 --> 00:06:48,719
You know, it's...
194
00:06:49,653 --> 00:06:50,987
[all gasp]
195
00:06:51,054 --> 00:06:54,825
[weakly] What's happening?
196
00:06:58,795 --> 00:06:59,896
- It's a classic
allergic reaction,
197
00:06:59,963 --> 00:07:01,164
no doubt, caused by
198
00:07:01,231 --> 00:07:02,966
the new organic flavor blasting
199
00:07:03,033 --> 00:07:04,300
on the Beardy Yum Yums.
200
00:07:04,367 --> 00:07:06,603
Shame, we just got
an Eew Corp snack machine
201
00:07:06,670 --> 00:07:08,204
full of them at hospital.
202
00:07:08,271 --> 00:07:10,507
They are truly
delicious and healthy.
203
00:07:10,574 --> 00:07:11,975
It says so
right on the packaging.
204
00:07:12,042 --> 00:07:14,511
- His face won't look like
that permanently, will it?
205
00:07:14,578 --> 00:07:16,279
'Cause it's kind of gross.
206
00:07:16,346 --> 00:07:17,548
- [groans]
207
00:07:17,614 --> 00:07:19,382
- No, no.
Nate will be fine
208
00:07:19,449 --> 00:07:20,851
in a few days, but
209
00:07:20,917 --> 00:07:23,253
no more Organic Flavor Blasted
Beardy Yum Yums,
210
00:07:23,319 --> 00:07:24,420
all right, young man?
211
00:07:24,487 --> 00:07:26,122
Who knows what kind of reaction
212
00:07:26,189 --> 00:07:27,290
you could have next time.
213
00:07:27,357 --> 00:07:30,493
- [groaning]
214
00:07:33,096 --> 00:07:34,364
[striking dramatic tones]
215
00:07:34,430 --> 00:07:36,533
[rooster crows]
216
00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:38,401
[alarm clock rings]
217
00:07:38,468 --> 00:07:39,402
[frog croaks]
[glass shatters]
218
00:07:39,469 --> 00:07:41,371
[dramatic music]
219
00:07:41,437 --> 00:07:42,673
- [whimpers]
[gasps]
220
00:07:42,739 --> 00:07:44,007
[laughs]
221
00:07:44,074 --> 00:07:47,544
Okay, so things didn't
exactly go as planned,
222
00:07:47,611 --> 00:07:49,212
but the school
did get a new snack machine,
223
00:07:49,279 --> 00:07:50,847
thanks to yours truly.
224
00:07:50,914 --> 00:07:53,049
[chuckles]
Yup, that's my legacy--
225
00:07:53,116 --> 00:07:54,785
wouldn't be surprised
if the school gives me
226
00:07:54,851 --> 00:07:58,254
some kind of award, like
a big fancy trophy that says--
227
00:07:58,321 --> 00:07:59,590
[gasps]
228
00:07:59,656 --> 00:08:01,992
[all munching]
What?
229
00:08:03,193 --> 00:08:04,127
[gasps]
230
00:08:04,194 --> 00:08:07,163
[all munching]
231
00:08:07,230 --> 00:08:10,133
[eerie music]
232
00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:14,470
* *
233
00:08:14,537 --> 00:08:16,006
Hey, guys.
[all munching]
234
00:08:16,072 --> 00:08:17,574
Huh?
235
00:08:17,641 --> 00:08:19,342
- Oh, welcome back, stranger.
236
00:08:19,409 --> 00:08:20,744
Mmm.
- I see everyone's enjoying
237
00:08:20,811 --> 00:08:22,212
the new snacks I got them--
238
00:08:22,278 --> 00:08:24,080
everyone but me.
239
00:08:24,147 --> 00:08:25,481
- Amazing.
- Oh, yeah.
240
00:08:25,548 --> 00:08:27,450
- The best thing I ever tasted.
- Game changer.
241
00:08:27,517 --> 00:08:29,285
- Francis, you too?
242
00:08:29,352 --> 00:08:30,687
I thought you hated
Beardy Yum Yums.
243
00:08:30,754 --> 00:08:32,889
- I did, but not anymore!
244
00:08:32,956 --> 00:08:34,791
These are amazing!
245
00:08:34,858 --> 00:08:36,192
It must be
because they're organic.
246
00:08:36,259 --> 00:08:39,195
Oh, I love being healthy!
247
00:08:39,262 --> 00:08:40,931
[all munching]
248
00:08:40,996 --> 00:08:42,398
[school bell rings]
249
00:08:42,465 --> 00:08:44,801
[all munching]
250
00:08:44,868 --> 00:08:46,737
- E--e--excuse me,
Mrs. Godfrey?
251
00:08:46,803 --> 00:08:49,606
Isn't there a
no-eating-only-learning policy
252
00:08:49,673 --> 00:08:51,775
in your room?
- Oh, yes.
253
00:08:51,842 --> 00:08:54,778
There used to be, but a brain
can't live on learning alone,
254
00:08:54,845 --> 00:08:56,212
my good lad.
[munches]
255
00:08:56,279 --> 00:08:58,448
Sometimes, it needs to be fed
nutritious goodness.
256
00:08:58,514 --> 00:09:00,784
Your degenerate brain,
of course, will go hungry
257
00:09:00,851 --> 00:09:02,819
and lapse
into a vegetative state,
258
00:09:02,886 --> 00:09:04,988
proving a higher power
does exist!
259
00:09:05,055 --> 00:09:05,989
[munches]
260
00:09:06,056 --> 00:09:07,490
- [growls]
261
00:09:07,557 --> 00:09:09,893
* *
262
00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:12,896
[all munching]
263
00:09:12,963 --> 00:09:15,632
* *
264
00:09:15,699 --> 00:09:17,067
- Uh, have you guys noticed
265
00:09:17,133 --> 00:09:18,769
that the moment you finish
the bag, you want more?
266
00:09:18,835 --> 00:09:20,570
[chuckles]
- Yeah, it's just like the love
267
00:09:20,637 --> 00:09:22,538
I desperately crave
from people of authority.
268
00:09:22,605 --> 00:09:24,174
- [laughs]
Oh, yeah, clearly,
269
00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:26,843
we had no idea how much our
bodies needed the recommended
270
00:09:26,910 --> 00:09:28,645
daily allowance
of vitamin-fortified
271
00:09:28,712 --> 00:09:30,546
Beardy chunks!
[munches]
272
00:09:30,613 --> 00:09:32,949
Mmm.
- Oh, ho-ho-ho,
273
00:09:33,016 --> 00:09:34,651
have you guys tried
pushing your tongues
274
00:09:34,718 --> 00:09:36,953
into the back corners to get
the compacted flavor dust?
275
00:09:37,020 --> 00:09:40,456
So good!
[all laugh and munch]
276
00:09:40,523 --> 00:09:42,158
- Okay, enough!
277
00:09:42,225 --> 00:09:44,695
You guys sound like my
grandparents gumming caramels.
278
00:09:44,761 --> 00:09:46,429
You do remember
I'm allergic, right?
279
00:09:46,496 --> 00:09:47,798
I mean, maybe it would be nice
280
00:09:47,864 --> 00:09:49,232
if you could put the bags down
281
00:09:49,299 --> 00:09:53,003
so we could talk about
something--anything else.
282
00:09:53,069 --> 00:09:55,071
[laughter]
283
00:09:55,138 --> 00:09:56,406
- Hello, children!
284
00:09:56,472 --> 00:09:58,708
Good news!
Eew Corp has just refilled
285
00:09:58,775 --> 00:10:00,343
our brand-new snack machine
286
00:10:00,410 --> 00:10:02,178
with more healthful
and wholesome snacks.
287
00:10:02,245 --> 00:10:04,547
Go get 'em
before they're gone.
288
00:10:04,614 --> 00:10:07,918
[all scream]
289
00:10:12,088 --> 00:10:15,025
- [growling]
290
00:10:17,127 --> 00:10:20,130
- I just think maybe a little
moderation couldn't hurt--
291
00:10:20,196 --> 00:10:23,266
you know that old saying,
"Too much of a good thing
292
00:10:23,333 --> 00:10:25,135
is really annoying."
293
00:10:25,201 --> 00:10:26,269
- Oh, Nate, my boy,
294
00:10:26,336 --> 00:10:27,670
stop being so modest.
295
00:10:27,738 --> 00:10:29,305
Your legacy is a hit!
296
00:10:29,372 --> 00:10:31,641
Mmm, at this rate,
I'll be able to stop selling
297
00:10:31,708 --> 00:10:33,844
classroom window glass
to pay the heating bill!
298
00:10:33,910 --> 00:10:37,848
- And that's why cat owners
are superior to dog owners.
299
00:10:37,914 --> 00:10:39,783
[car honks]
Car!
300
00:10:41,551 --> 00:10:44,154
- Matter of fact,
I have a surprise for you.
301
00:10:44,220 --> 00:10:45,588
[striking dramatic tone]
302
00:10:45,655 --> 00:10:47,657
[laughs]
You'll never be forgotten now.
303
00:10:47,724 --> 00:10:50,827
[all munching]
304
00:10:53,163 --> 00:10:57,467
- Do you know how much damage
your legacy is doing?
305
00:10:57,533 --> 00:10:59,702
These snacks are affecting
306
00:10:59,770 --> 00:11:02,372
my academic career!
[eye shatters]
307
00:11:02,438 --> 00:11:05,942
- Excellent, Kim.
A+, Randy.
308
00:11:06,009 --> 00:11:08,945
Gina--oh!
Lysistrata's sheet cake,
309
00:11:09,012 --> 00:11:10,113
what is that?
310
00:11:10,180 --> 00:11:12,382
- It's what
you asked us to paint.
311
00:11:12,448 --> 00:11:14,317
- I don't think so.
312
00:11:14,384 --> 00:11:15,651
F.
- [gasps]
313
00:11:15,718 --> 00:11:17,587
There's something very wrong
314
00:11:17,653 --> 00:11:19,389
about these snacks, Nate!
315
00:11:19,455 --> 00:11:22,058
Something not organic.
316
00:11:22,125 --> 00:11:23,526
- Gina?
317
00:11:23,593 --> 00:11:25,228
- People are changing, Nate.
318
00:11:25,295 --> 00:11:26,863
Open your eyes
319
00:11:26,930 --> 00:11:30,533
before it's too late.
320
00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:31,968
[elevator dings]
321
00:11:32,035 --> 00:11:35,271
- Why is Gina heading down
to detention with Galvin?
322
00:11:35,338 --> 00:11:36,739
- Beardy Yum Yums.
323
00:11:36,807 --> 00:11:38,574
[all munching]
- Gina's overreacting.
324
00:11:38,641 --> 00:11:41,344
The snacks can't take down
an entire school,
325
00:11:41,411 --> 00:11:42,678
and I'm gonna prove it.
326
00:11:42,745 --> 00:11:46,649
- Hey, guys, anyone up
for some pork tetherball?
327
00:11:48,651 --> 00:11:50,020
Okay, well, uh,
328
00:11:50,086 --> 00:11:52,322
we could steal Godfrey's teeth.
329
00:11:52,388 --> 00:11:54,891
- [gags]
[screams]
330
00:11:56,359 --> 00:11:57,360
- [whimpers]
331
00:11:57,427 --> 00:11:59,029
Stuff Mr. Rosa's pants
332
00:11:59,095 --> 00:12:02,198
with nuts and let
the squirrels loose on him?
333
00:12:02,265 --> 00:12:05,735
- [screaming]
334
00:12:05,802 --> 00:12:07,670
- I--guys, I--
335
00:12:07,737 --> 00:12:10,106
are you guys
even listening to me?
336
00:12:11,274 --> 00:12:12,342
- Sure, we are.
337
00:12:13,944 --> 00:12:17,247
What'd you say?
- Wait, is your skin oranger?
338
00:12:17,313 --> 00:12:19,115
- [laughs]
Good one.
339
00:12:19,182 --> 00:12:22,152
[laughter]
340
00:12:22,218 --> 00:12:25,121
[somber music]
341
00:12:25,188 --> 00:12:29,092
* *
342
00:12:29,159 --> 00:12:31,727
- * All I wanted was a snack *
343
00:12:31,794 --> 00:12:34,764
* A Beardy Yum Yum
to call my own *
344
00:12:34,831 --> 00:12:37,901
* It didn't seem like
too much to ask *
345
00:12:37,968 --> 00:12:40,636
* But now I'm standing
here all alone *
346
00:12:40,703 --> 00:12:43,439
* I see them eating out there *
347
00:12:43,506 --> 00:12:46,609
* Licking their fingers
while I despair *
348
00:12:46,676 --> 00:12:49,312
* So full of joy
and full of life *
349
00:12:49,379 --> 00:12:52,515
* Snacking all day
without a care *
350
00:12:52,582 --> 00:12:55,118
* But one bite, one lick *
351
00:12:55,185 --> 00:12:58,021
* And I swell and grow boils *
352
00:12:58,088 --> 00:13:00,957
* One bite, one lick *
353
00:13:01,024 --> 00:13:03,927
* My face is
scaring gargoyles *
354
00:13:03,994 --> 00:13:06,696
* So here I am,
watching all my friends *
355
00:13:06,762 --> 00:13:10,300
* Without me *
356
00:13:10,366 --> 00:13:13,136
* Bags wide open *
357
00:13:13,203 --> 00:13:17,273
* Fists all full of beard *
358
00:13:17,340 --> 00:13:18,808
* As they snack,
snack, snack *
359
00:13:18,875 --> 00:13:20,310
* And snack *
360
00:13:20,376 --> 00:13:23,346
* And suckle
on their tasty fingers *
361
00:13:23,413 --> 00:13:26,449
* I try to say,
"Maybe eat an apple *
362
00:13:26,516 --> 00:13:27,617
* "A hunk of a kale *
363
00:13:27,683 --> 00:13:32,222
* Or maybe broccoli" *
364
00:13:32,288 --> 00:13:35,058
* But they chomp, chomp,
chomp another bag *
365
00:13:35,125 --> 00:13:38,028
* I hope
their kidneys can take *
366
00:13:38,094 --> 00:13:45,168
* All that sodium! *
367
00:13:45,235 --> 00:13:47,537
* *
368
00:13:47,603 --> 00:13:50,740
[laughter]
369
00:13:51,807 --> 00:13:53,609
[loud crash]
Huh?
370
00:13:53,676 --> 00:13:56,712
[suspenseful music]
371
00:13:56,779 --> 00:13:58,381
* *
372
00:13:58,448 --> 00:13:59,815
Hey, hey, hey, hey, you guys,
373
00:13:59,882 --> 00:14:02,418
what are you doing?
It's empty!
374
00:14:02,485 --> 00:14:03,453
[all growl]
- [barks]
375
00:14:03,519 --> 00:14:05,821
- Need more snack machine now!
376
00:14:05,888 --> 00:14:07,657
I need it now!
Need more snack machine!
377
00:14:07,723 --> 00:14:10,226
- [grunts]
- [grunts]
378
00:14:10,293 --> 00:14:13,229
[all sniffing]
379
00:14:14,364 --> 00:14:15,431
- Ooh, wa-ah-ah-ah!
380
00:14:15,498 --> 00:14:16,899
all: Snack machine!
381
00:14:16,967 --> 00:14:18,301
- Snack, snack, snack!
382
00:14:18,368 --> 00:14:20,470
["Down With the Sickness"
by Disturbed]
383
00:14:20,536 --> 00:14:23,339
- What is happening?
384
00:14:23,406 --> 00:14:25,241
- [sniffs]
385
00:14:25,308 --> 00:14:26,943
Machine!
[laughs]
386
00:14:27,010 --> 00:14:29,345
Found new machine!
387
00:14:29,412 --> 00:14:32,382
[helicopter whirs]
[all screaming]
388
00:14:32,448 --> 00:14:34,484
[sirens wailing]
389
00:14:34,550 --> 00:14:36,419
- [cackling]
390
00:14:36,486 --> 00:14:37,787
[helicopters whirring]
391
00:14:37,853 --> 00:14:41,557
- * Deep in my sea
of loathing *
392
00:14:41,624 --> 00:14:44,527
- [cackles]
[screaming]
393
00:14:44,594 --> 00:14:45,728
- * I kneel *
394
00:14:45,795 --> 00:14:47,730
- Whoa!
[panting]
395
00:14:47,797 --> 00:14:49,165
Gina?
- [whispering] Quiet,
396
00:14:49,232 --> 00:14:50,533
you pinhead!
397
00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:52,402
They'll hear you.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
398
00:14:52,468 --> 00:14:53,970
Are you one of them?
399
00:14:54,037 --> 00:14:55,838
- [screams]
[loud explosion booms]
400
00:14:55,905 --> 00:14:57,040
- Of course not.
401
00:14:57,107 --> 00:14:59,542
I read the ingredients, moron.
402
00:14:59,609 --> 00:15:00,710
Come on.
There's something
403
00:15:00,776 --> 00:15:01,844
you need to see.
404
00:15:01,911 --> 00:15:03,779
- Ah!
[panting]
405
00:15:03,846 --> 00:15:05,015
[thunder booms]
406
00:15:05,081 --> 00:15:06,082
- Ah!
Look out!
407
00:15:06,149 --> 00:15:07,984
[whimpers]
Let me out!
408
00:15:08,051 --> 00:15:09,919
[screams]
- [gasps]
409
00:15:09,986 --> 00:15:12,555
- [laughs]
That kind of tickled.
410
00:15:12,622 --> 00:15:14,090
- Mr. Galvin?
411
00:15:14,157 --> 00:15:17,360
- Nate, the school--in fact,
all of Rackleff--
412
00:15:17,427 --> 00:15:19,929
is in grave danger.
413
00:15:19,996 --> 00:15:21,964
- Show him.
414
00:15:22,032 --> 00:15:23,833
- [distorted voice]
Beardy Yum Yums.
415
00:15:23,899 --> 00:15:25,435
[gargled screaming]
416
00:15:25,501 --> 00:15:27,970
- [gasps]
What have I done?
417
00:15:28,038 --> 00:15:29,372
[thunder booms]
418
00:15:29,439 --> 00:15:30,840
I don't understand.
419
00:15:30,906 --> 00:15:33,643
How could Chad change
like that so fast?
420
00:15:33,708 --> 00:15:35,478
I just saw him a few hours ago.
421
00:15:35,545 --> 00:15:38,781
- Chad's physiology is
not like yours or mine.
422
00:15:38,848 --> 00:15:40,250
Either through heredity
423
00:15:40,316 --> 00:15:42,652
or his voracious consumption
of cat meal,
424
00:15:42,718 --> 00:15:46,989
Chad's body has
an extreme reaction to stimuli.
425
00:15:47,057 --> 00:15:49,192
Test session number 12.
426
00:15:49,259 --> 00:15:51,861
[pie squelches]
How does the strawberry pie
427
00:15:51,927 --> 00:15:53,396
make you feel, Chad?
428
00:15:53,463 --> 00:15:55,798
- Like I want it
dipped in chocolate.
429
00:15:55,865 --> 00:15:57,867
[laughs]
430
00:15:57,933 --> 00:15:59,302
[air horn blares]
431
00:15:59,369 --> 00:16:00,603
[eerie music]
432
00:16:00,670 --> 00:16:02,905
- [grunts]
Oh, no!
433
00:16:02,972 --> 00:16:04,607
- [munches]
434
00:16:04,674 --> 00:16:05,875
[farts]
- Hey!
435
00:16:05,941 --> 00:16:07,410
- [laughing]
436
00:16:08,878 --> 00:16:10,080
- [whimpers]
That was, like, the world's
437
00:16:10,146 --> 00:16:11,714
most disturbing talent show.
438
00:16:11,781 --> 00:16:13,616
- Nate, this is serious.
439
00:16:13,683 --> 00:16:14,917
- Sorry!
I just--I--I--
440
00:16:14,984 --> 00:16:16,786
I still don't understand!
How could a healthy,
441
00:16:16,852 --> 00:16:19,222
organic snack cause all this?
442
00:16:19,289 --> 00:16:23,059
- Because
the Eew Corporation lied.
443
00:16:23,126 --> 00:16:26,596
There is nothing healthy
or "organic" in their snacks.
444
00:16:26,662 --> 00:16:30,166
In fact, I've discovered
that their flavor blasting
445
00:16:30,233 --> 00:16:32,935
is actually
a nefarious bioweapon.
446
00:16:33,002 --> 00:16:34,237
It turns the consumer
447
00:16:34,304 --> 00:16:37,540
into an uncontrollable
snacking machine.
448
00:16:37,607 --> 00:16:39,242
- [bumbling]
449
00:16:39,309 --> 00:16:41,744
- Which means
more profits for them.
450
00:16:41,811 --> 00:16:43,012
- You were right.
451
00:16:43,079 --> 00:16:44,347
I should've
read the ingredients.
452
00:16:44,414 --> 00:16:46,516
- [laughs]
Please say that again.
453
00:16:46,582 --> 00:16:48,818
- [gasps]
- Directly into the microphone
454
00:16:48,884 --> 00:16:51,221
so I can treasure it forever.
455
00:16:51,287 --> 00:16:52,922
- No!
Okay, okay,
456
00:16:52,988 --> 00:16:54,457
so what you're telling me
457
00:16:54,524 --> 00:16:56,892
is I need to hunt down
all my friends
458
00:16:56,958 --> 00:16:58,561
who've got
Beardy Yum Yum Fever
459
00:16:58,628 --> 00:17:01,264
and destroy them.
Where can I get a flamethrower?
460
00:17:01,331 --> 00:17:03,699
- There is a less-murdery way
461
00:17:03,766 --> 00:17:07,270
to cure this Beardy mania!
462
00:17:07,337 --> 00:17:08,237
- Pee pee.
463
00:17:08,304 --> 00:17:10,005
- Agh, we have to pee on 'em?
464
00:17:10,072 --> 00:17:11,707
Gross!
I'd rather use a flamethrower.
465
00:17:11,774 --> 00:17:14,677
- No, Nate, we need
to get them to stop eating
466
00:17:14,744 --> 00:17:18,148
and drink water so they
will pee out the toxins.
467
00:17:18,214 --> 00:17:19,614
- Well, that's just great.
How do we get them
468
00:17:19,681 --> 00:17:22,584
to stop eating
if they won't stop eating?
469
00:17:22,651 --> 00:17:24,320
- We start by getting rid
470
00:17:24,387 --> 00:17:27,457
of the snack machine
you got the school, dorkis!
471
00:17:27,523 --> 00:17:30,526
- [sobs]
My legacy?
472
00:17:30,593 --> 00:17:32,428
- Beardy Yum Yum.
473
00:17:32,495 --> 00:17:35,298
- [gasps]
I was worried about this.
474
00:17:35,365 --> 00:17:36,999
[all growling and munching]
475
00:17:37,066 --> 00:17:40,703
They're de-evolving
at an accelerated pace,
476
00:17:40,770 --> 00:17:42,138
hoarding snack machines
477
00:17:42,205 --> 00:17:44,073
like primitive beasts.
478
00:17:44,140 --> 00:17:45,308
- [feral grumbling]
479
00:17:45,375 --> 00:17:46,309
- Now what?
480
00:17:46,376 --> 00:17:48,144
There's too many snack machines
481
00:17:48,211 --> 00:17:50,413
to get rid of.
- Oh,
482
00:17:50,480 --> 00:17:51,281
"get rid of."
483
00:17:51,347 --> 00:17:52,582
Come on.
To the junkyard!
484
00:17:52,648 --> 00:17:54,217
I think I know someone
who can help.
485
00:17:59,021 --> 00:18:01,824
- [grunts]
486
00:18:03,393 --> 00:18:05,528
Hank, I know I hurt you.
487
00:18:05,595 --> 00:18:07,163
I know you feel betrayed,
488
00:18:07,230 --> 00:18:08,931
but our school--no, no, no.
You know what?
489
00:18:08,998 --> 00:18:10,900
Your school is in danger.
490
00:18:10,966 --> 00:18:13,836
Don't let the Eew Corp
wipe out your legacy.
491
00:18:13,903 --> 00:18:16,806
Come back to PS 38.
Help us.
492
00:18:18,674 --> 00:18:20,943
- Nothing.
Total waste of--
493
00:18:21,010 --> 00:18:22,278
Ow!
494
00:18:22,345 --> 00:18:23,379
- Huh?
Old Hank?
495
00:18:23,446 --> 00:18:24,380
You in there, buddy?
496
00:18:24,447 --> 00:18:25,948
[machine roars]
497
00:18:26,015 --> 00:18:27,617
I think he's trying
to talk to us,
498
00:18:27,683 --> 00:18:29,485
but I don't speak
snack machine.
499
00:18:29,552 --> 00:18:31,754
- Fortunately,
I happen to be fluent.
500
00:18:31,821 --> 00:18:34,357
My first girlfriend
was a coffee dispenser
501
00:18:34,424 --> 00:18:36,559
named Medium Grinder.
502
00:18:36,626 --> 00:18:37,893
- Stay on topic, Mr. G.
503
00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:40,129
- I believe Old Hank
wants to help.
504
00:18:40,196 --> 00:18:43,533
I also think he said
a few words not appropriate
505
00:18:43,599 --> 00:18:45,100
for children.
506
00:18:45,167 --> 00:18:47,670
- Who cares?
One washed-up old snack machine
507
00:18:47,737 --> 00:18:49,171
can't save us!
508
00:18:49,239 --> 00:18:51,040
We need an army!
509
00:18:51,106 --> 00:18:54,043
[machine roars]
510
00:18:55,211 --> 00:18:57,747
- Guys, I think
we found our army.
511
00:18:57,813 --> 00:19:00,883
[all grumbling and munching]
512
00:19:02,385 --> 00:19:04,487
[cymbals crashing]
- Hmm?
513
00:19:04,554 --> 00:19:07,523
[all grumbling]
514
00:19:07,590 --> 00:19:09,058
[Wild West music]
515
00:19:09,124 --> 00:19:11,227
- Hmph.
516
00:19:11,294 --> 00:19:13,363
- Why Nate here with that?
517
00:19:13,429 --> 00:19:16,632
- His name is Old Hank,
and he belongs here.
518
00:19:16,699 --> 00:19:19,835
[laughter]
519
00:19:21,337 --> 00:19:23,005
Oh, please, look at yourselves.
520
00:19:23,072 --> 00:19:25,508
Snacks are supposed to be
a treat, not a meal.
521
00:19:25,575 --> 00:19:26,909
Gina was--
[sighs]
522
00:19:26,976 --> 00:19:29,044
Oh, I hate myself
for saying this.
523
00:19:29,111 --> 00:19:30,246
She was--
524
00:19:30,313 --> 00:19:31,781
right.
- [chuckles]
525
00:19:31,847 --> 00:19:33,249
[gasps]
- Ingredients matter.
526
00:19:33,316 --> 00:19:34,617
Eating healthy matters,
527
00:19:34,684 --> 00:19:36,752
and that's not gonna happen
with evil Eew Corp
528
00:19:36,819 --> 00:19:39,121
snack machines.
529
00:19:39,188 --> 00:19:40,356
So what do you say, gang?
530
00:19:40,423 --> 00:19:42,958
Let's put Old Hank back
where he belongs.
531
00:19:43,025 --> 00:19:46,195
He may be a horribly unfriendly
and abusive snack machine,
532
00:19:46,262 --> 00:19:49,131
but he's our horribly
unfriendly and abusive
533
00:19:49,198 --> 00:19:51,934
snack machine!
Who's with me?
534
00:19:52,001 --> 00:19:54,570
[laughter]
535
00:19:56,472 --> 00:19:59,475
- Nate Wright, g--go home.
536
00:19:59,542 --> 00:20:03,045
- Yeah, and take Nate Wright
lame machine with you.
537
00:20:03,112 --> 00:20:04,547
[laughter]
538
00:20:04,614 --> 00:20:07,082
- Well, I'm sorry
you feel that way.
539
00:20:07,149 --> 00:20:10,453
Hmph.
[machine cries out]
540
00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:11,687
all: Ah!
541
00:20:11,754 --> 00:20:13,356
[rock music]
542
00:20:13,423 --> 00:20:16,292
- I'd like you to meet
some friends of Old Hank's--
543
00:20:16,359 --> 00:20:18,127
Der Wonder Wienie,
544
00:20:18,193 --> 00:20:19,729
Hot Wings of Desire,
545
00:20:19,795 --> 00:20:21,364
Kernel McPoppin,
546
00:20:21,431 --> 00:20:22,798
The Egg'o'Nator,
547
00:20:22,865 --> 00:20:25,835
Gummo,
Spew-Matic Beverage Oasis,
548
00:20:25,901 --> 00:20:29,772
and Baron von Taffy Pull III.
549
00:20:29,839 --> 00:20:32,508
Time to take back our school!
550
00:20:32,575 --> 00:20:34,344
[screams]
551
00:20:34,410 --> 00:20:36,111
Fire everything!
552
00:20:36,178 --> 00:20:38,448
- * The danger zone *
553
00:20:38,514 --> 00:20:40,215
[all scream]
554
00:20:40,282 --> 00:20:42,618
["Danger Zone"
by Kenny Loggins]
555
00:20:42,685 --> 00:20:44,053
* Never say hello *
556
00:20:44,119 --> 00:20:45,120
[all barking]
557
00:20:45,187 --> 00:20:46,522
- [howls]
558
00:20:46,589 --> 00:20:47,890
- * Line overload *
559
00:20:47,957 --> 00:20:49,459
- Gina!
Mr. Galvin!
560
00:20:49,525 --> 00:20:51,861
Chad!
Now!
561
00:20:51,927 --> 00:20:53,896
- * High as you can go *
562
00:20:53,963 --> 00:20:55,665
- Ah!
[gargles]
563
00:20:55,731 --> 00:20:57,333
- Ooh, ah!
[grunts]
564
00:20:57,400 --> 00:21:00,703
* *
565
00:21:00,770 --> 00:21:01,704
- * Ooh, yeah *
566
00:21:01,771 --> 00:21:08,778
* *
567
00:21:08,844 --> 00:21:10,045
both: Oh, yeah!
[all cheer]
568
00:21:10,112 --> 00:21:12,482
- [whimpers]
I gotta go pee!
569
00:21:12,548 --> 00:21:14,850
[Wild West music]
570
00:21:14,917 --> 00:21:17,687
- Oh, yeah, tomato.
571
00:21:17,753 --> 00:21:20,189
- Okay, okay.
My legacy thing was a bust.
572
00:21:20,255 --> 00:21:22,992
But I did help Old Hank
secure his legacy.
573
00:21:23,058 --> 00:21:24,727
You know, uh, it has its perks.
574
00:21:24,794 --> 00:21:26,696
- [grunting]
575
00:21:26,762 --> 00:21:29,365
Should've left you
in that junkyard!
576
00:21:29,432 --> 00:21:31,300
Oh!
[growls]
577
00:21:31,367 --> 00:21:32,668
[screams]
578
00:21:32,735 --> 00:21:34,537
- [chuckles]
579
00:21:34,604 --> 00:21:36,372
[all groan]
You guys starting
580
00:21:36,439 --> 00:21:38,874
to feel better?
- If you call the worst TMJ
581
00:21:38,941 --> 00:21:41,276
in the world "better,"
then sure.
582
00:21:41,343 --> 00:21:43,646
- You know I like chewing
as much as the next guy,
583
00:21:43,713 --> 00:21:45,581
but the next time
an evil corporation
584
00:21:45,648 --> 00:21:46,616
takes over my mind,
585
00:21:46,682 --> 00:21:48,283
I'm asking for a feeding tube.
586
00:21:48,350 --> 00:21:50,420
- I was actually
considering becoming a vegan
587
00:21:50,486 --> 00:21:51,854
until I saw Chad.
- Huh?
588
00:21:51,921 --> 00:21:53,088
- What's wrong with Chad?
589
00:21:53,155 --> 00:21:55,891
- Mmm, thanks for the hot bath,
Zora.
590
00:21:55,958 --> 00:22:00,396
FYI, these carrots
are delicious.
591
00:22:00,463 --> 00:22:03,332
[munches]
- [evil laughter]
592
00:22:10,339 --> 00:22:12,808
- * As they snack,
snack, snack, and snack *
593
00:22:12,875 --> 00:22:16,011
* And suckle
on their tasty fingers *
594
00:22:16,078 --> 00:22:18,981
* I try to say
"Maybe eat an apple *
595
00:22:19,048 --> 00:22:20,249
* "A hunk of a kale *
596
00:22:20,315 --> 00:22:23,018
* Or maybe broccoli" *
597
00:22:23,085 --> 00:22:25,988
* But they chomp, chomp,
chomp another bag *
598
00:22:26,055 --> 00:22:29,391
* I hope
their kidneys can take *
599
00:22:29,459 --> 00:22:35,264
* All that sodium! *
600
00:22:35,314 --> 00:22:39,864
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