All language subtitles for I.dont.Love.You.Either.2021.FRENCH.WEBRip.AMZN.en

Okay, I know what you're thinking.

Who's the babe running around
this sublime Paris apartment?

All right, I'll end the suspense.
It's me, Nina, 28,

a lawyer at the Paris bar.

Okay, I'm coming. I'm coming!

As usual, I'm in a rush.

I'm off to Biarritz
with my darling Benoît,

to stay with Dylan, my best friend.

Which reminds me...
I almost forgot my morning chore.

MY DARLING

I've known Dylan since primary school
and I adore him.

I call to help him get rid
of the chick from the night before.

He's my mate.
I love him madly, but it's gross, right?

Get out.
- We agree.

Just look at him.

For my part, I wake up each day
beside the best of lovers, Ben.

My Ben. Next week, we'll have
been together for three years.

He's my rock
and I can always count on him.

Where are you?
- Still at the office.

Sorry, my beautiful,
but I really can't come.

It's crazy here, it's non-stop.
- I hate you.

Sorry, my most beautiful.
I'm doing my best.

More beautiful than who?
- Angelina and Scarlett Johansson.

You can do better.
- You're more beautiful than Angelina,

Scarlett and Shakira at the Super Bowl.

Shakira's taking it too far.
I believed you till Scarlett.

Anyway, I'm at the station. Gotta go.
- Love you.

If you did, you'd say so to my face.
Kiss kiss.

Kiss kiss.

I'M DISGUSTED. BEN'S NOT COMING.
HE'S ON A BIG CASE.

So what's her name, this big case?
- Her name is "your mother"!

You're just winding me up,
since you're single, but it won't work.

Not at all, I think Ben's cool.
- You still fancy your chances with me?

No, I know I've got no chance.

Off you go. See you later.
- See you.

Here you go, girls, the drinks.

Antoine, Sarah, this is for you.

Thanks.
- My pleasure.

Hey, buongiorno! So how did it go?

A disaster. Drop it.
- Nina saved your neck again, right?

What is this, Candid Camera?

Hello. - Hello.
- What do I owe you?

Well, I don't know, it depends.
- It does not depend!

That'll be six euros.
- Sorry, he's heartless.

Yeah, right...
- Here. Enjoy your day.

You too.

If you give drinks to every girl
on the beach, we'll go under, man.

I wouldn't mind going under with her.
- Yeah, yeah. Come on, back to work.

I DON'T LOVE YOU EITHER

BIARRITZ TRAIN STATION

WAITING FOR MY MOST BEAUTIFUL FRIEND

That I am.
- Wait, wait. - Okay, what's up?

Go on, dance for me, show me!

We can finally hug! I don't believe it.

What?
- He got tubby, he got tubby!

Wait. Don't move.

And she's grown.
- She has grown.

I'm so happy.
- Gently, gently...

I'm so happy I don't know what to do.
I'll hit you. I have strong fists.

I can't help it. How will he react?
He's going to his corner.

Excuse me? Stop. - Nice moustache.
He cut off his moustache for me!

I'll bite you. - No!
- On the count of three.

Stop it!

I'd love to learn to surf.

I'll teach you this week, if you want.
- This week? Let's go now!

Don't you want to drop off your case?
- I don't care! You've gotten old.

A family man
with herbal tea and a cardigan.

I want to have fun this weekend.
Let's go in the water.

And I'm prepared.
- You came in that?

It's not so crazy.
You not having your trunks is crazy.

He lives by the ocean and didn't
bring trunks. - It wasn't planned.

If we didn't plan it, we didn't plan it.

Great! A weekend at an old folks' home!
- Like my swimsuit?

Of course I always have my swimsuit on!
Ready to jump in the water.

You're unbelievable. Whose is it?

Unbelievable.

Pay attention to me in the water.

Don't worry, I'm a natural, I've been
to Miami. See, I'm one with the wave!

Miami?
- On a school trip.

See the surfers there?
We'll go down there,

and when there's a decent wave
I'll give you a push and you go.

Okay.
- Simple. - Yep, simple.

Let's do it.
- Let's go! - Wait, wait.

Look, I'm running backwards!

Wait, wait, wait.

There, now stand!

Okay, get up, get up!

My bum knocked me over.
- Do it again.

Now I'm scared!
- That's the surf. Wait.

Up on your knees, there you go.

I did it!

Bravo!

First push and then get up.

Stand up!

Ahead, look ahead!

I did it!
- Now for some big waves.

Trust me! Up, up, up, up.

You said in the car you wanted
big waves. Well, here you are!

In you go!

Stay down.

I swear I'll kill you. I'll kill you.
- You'll fall!

You fell like a ton of bricks!
Drink this! - Bastard! That's enough.

I'll get you for this.
I swear I'll get you for this.

It's your own fault,
you're too small for big waves.

I've got a cramp!
- Okay, okay.

Okay?

No, not there.

Don't put it there. That's annoying.
- No, no. That's annoying...

No, no. That's annoying.
- Your suit is getting water everywhere.

I'm so annoying...
- No! You'll get sand everywhere.

Stop, stop, stop.
- Oops, oops.

Seriously, that's irritating.
- Sorry. Oh, is it everywhere?

It gets in the carpet.
- The guy's got a portable vacuum!

Dylan, 30, is in love with his car.

The kids' schooling or a car?
Dylan's made his choice.

Mickaël can't do third grade.

No, not on the dashboard.
- Oh, great!

Look... - I don't care, you don't
scare me. OK, I'll stop, I'll stop.

Jules! - Yeah!
- They want to pay.

One beer.

Here, here, ice cubes!

This is on the house.

Jules, they want to pay.

That good?

Okay, everybody, last orders.

Hello, Dylan. - Hi, girls.
- What do we owe you?

Let's see. Give me that. That'll do.
- Cool.

That way you might come back.
- Love to. - Yuck!

Bye, come back soon.
Till next time, ciao. - Kiss kiss.

"That way you might come back."

You're not bored then?
- No.

I had a nice evening seeing you
trying to pull, which was cool.

You haven't seen him making cocktails.
Hup, hup, "What can I get you?"

Shut up! That's the job.
- Yeah, right.

What's your pick-up technique?
- It's three likes.

Go on.

On the Instagram account of a girl
I find pretty, I like three photos,

and if she likes one in return,
I know I'm in. - No!

Yes. - You're kidding!
- It really works.

It works? - Yes.
- Okay. I'm trying it now.

I'll find the account of Bradley Cooper.
- No, don't.

I'll like three photos.

Bravo, Bradley.
I'm going to like this one twice.

And now I'll wait.
- You sure will. - All good, guys.

I'm waiting.

Goddamn!
- What?

His battery's dead.
- Oh, sure.

It'll be the time difference.
- Right!

No. - It will!
- My technique has limits, that's all.

I'm closing. Let's go.
- We're going too, Dylan

Okay, fine, see you tomorrow.
Drive carefully. - Sure.

Oh my God! - What?
- I don't believe it.

You're a fan of me!
You framed the photo.

Well, I like that photo.
- Oh, I get it...

When some pain-in-the-ass chick sees it,
she thinks I'm your girl and leaves.

No. It's just so the day we get
together, you're already here. - Sure!

Okay...

Where do you want to sleep?
- What do you mean?

I mean Ben. - We went
to school together. What about Ben?

He knows you're sleeping with a model?
- You're a pain!

I'll shower, then we'll watch a movie.
- Off you go.

Hey, and clear away your bag?
- Yeah, yeah.

And so the mess begins.

Where are towels?
- Nina, don't touch anything.

Where have you put them?
- Nina!

Don't touch, don't touch.
Look, here they are.

Here. There are bath towels,
then hand towels and facecloths.

Dexter, I got it. Okay...
"And here are some balls.

I put them here just in case..."
- Yes, yes. - Thank you.

Go on, hop it! Go!

And don't flood the place!
- Yeah, yeah, sure.

Pick us a good film!
- Yes, yes.

Okay, so "Four Weddings and a Funeral"
was so boring.

And long!

Horrible.

You can't compare "The Godfather"
to "Silver Linings Playbook".

Sure! You just like anything soppy.

That's rubbish.
- Come on, tell me.

What's your favourite style of girl?

Don't have a favourite style.
- Yes, you do.

You know...
What type? In general.

I don't know.

Petite, brunette, pretty.

Doesn't like sleeping alone.
- And looks like Shakira.

Don't push it.
- I look like Shakira. Look.

"Es una tortura perderte."

Hi hi!
- Hello.

I sleep so well here!
- Speak for yourself. - What did I do?

Talk all night.
- Nonsense. What did I say?

"Dylan, I love you! I always think
about you. I want to move in with you!

In your dreams!
- "I love you. You have beautiful hair."

Well, that's kind of true.

Apart from the snoring, it was okay.
- Cool.

Sit down, I'll be right back.
- Okay.

Wow! Freshly squeezed orange juice,
pastries, fruit salad...

Clearly you're used to this.
- No, why?

You are, I can tell.
- I only have breakfast with you.

Thank you. Thank you, Dylan, thank you!

What do you want to drink?
- Tea.

Okay.

Thanks.

I didn't tell you.
- What? - Bradley Cooper.

No!
- He couldn't find his charger.

I told you it's not a dead cert.
The best way is dating sites.

Don't tell me you do that. A dating
site creep. I don't want to believe it.

Everyone does it. - Nonsense!
- Even guys in relationships.

They do not!
They can control their dicks.

Let's have a look.

So, Benoît.

15 pages. Let's take the first two.

What?
- Bad idea.

Give me your phone.
- Forget it!

Nina...
- Give me the phone. - Okay, easy.

Easy now.
- Look, get your damn face in here.

Fuck!

Fuck! The bastard!

The fucking bastard! Jesus Christ!
- Nina!

I'm going to kill him.
I'll talk to him then whack him.

I'll knock him out.
Just you wait!

Unlock the boot!
- There are no trains now.

And I'm sure Ben can explain.

The way I'm feeling. I'll walk to Paris.

And I won't even get
out of breath. I'll be fine.

Nina! - Don't worry about Ben.
I'll treat him as an adult.

Nina, wait!

Darling? What you doing here?

Think you're a romantic hero?
Do the dirty on me? What's this?

Calm down. What is this?

"Pick a Dick"? What is that?

You really chose him as your defence?

Great choice.
Next time you call me "darling",

I'll ram your dossier down your throat.
- What's going on, madam?

Please behave.
- Pardon me, Your Honour.

But the guy you see here, my boyfriend,
put his dick all over the internet.

What is this circus?
- Nina, stop. People are looking.

I don't care. How long has this
been going on? You're a slut, Benoît.

Look at me. You're a shitty slut, okay?

And get this.
You filled in all the fields.

Even "favourite book"! Who does that?
You're pitiful, Benoît.

It's not what you think.
I just wanted to talk.

Oh you did? 'Cos you can't talk to me.
- I even said you're cool.

Kind of you, but I am not cool, okay?

When people want to pass the time,
they play Candy Crush,

not pull chicks on "Pick a Dick".
- It was an accident.

Accidents happen on roads,
not in someone else's pussy.

Officer! - You don't know what
I'm capable of. I'll slash your tyres.

Then burn your stuff
and strangle you with your manbag.

Yes, the asshole has a manbag!

And he can't even read! You bastard!

Silence in court!

Mr Boulard.
Are you done? Can we continue?

Come on, sir.
- It's okay.

It's okay.
- What is this circus?

You have to call Dylan back.
He's worried. - I'll call him soon.

Thanks for helping me, Mum.
- Of course, my darling.

But promise me one thing.
- What?

Let me get your stuff when he's there.
You gave three years to that bastard!

I'm not joking! I could really kill him.

Haven't you done that?
- How? - You slashed his curtains.

You disembowelled his armchair
with a box cutter.

My mother is Pablo Escobar!

No one touches my baby.

Him being on that dating site...

I thought we were cool,
and he's on "Pick a Dick"!

Writing to chicks like,
"Yeah, I read books and I screw too,

we can do both."

I'm disgusted.
- What was he reading?

He's on a dating site and
you ask about books! Who cares?

Okay. I just wanted to know which book.

"Love Lasts Three Years".

You are kidding!
- I swear it was.

I'm so ashamed.

We have to move on.
Have you heard from Marshall & Co?

The letter's in my bag,
but I don't know if I'll post it.

You always wanted to work there.

Now you give up because of that bastard?
No way, Nina!

Nina.

Nina.

Come on.

I'm smiling at you
because you've got a box cutter.

We're naked in bed and
the guy calls me by his wife's name.

No! What's her name?
- That's not the point.

Pardon me.
- Hey, Simon! You wearing slimfits?

They're new, they're good.
Are they Lycra?

Charlotte is in Chacal-mode.

Sorry. - Could that
moulded ass bring me another drink?

Here they are.

Mamoune!
- Hello, my darlings.

Take care of her.
Call if you need me to pick you up.

Yeah, don't worry.
- Come on, out you get.

Bye, Mum. Thanks for everything. - Sure.
Give me the letter. I'll post it.

Have fun! Think about something else!
- I'm really not up to it...

It's okay. Everything will be fine.

Love you!
- Me too. - Bye.

To the bastard Benoît. Go.

Listen, he can come back in tears
and I won't care.

He can come crying in a suit
and I won't take him back.

Crying in a suit with loafers,
and I won't take him back!

He won't come back, Nina. - Whatever.
Let's stop talking about him.

He doesn't deserve it.
Tonight we let rip, okay? - Yes!

Tonight, we are all fit as a fiddle.

Lulu, I love you, but when you
say things like that I want to kill you.

You don't say "fit as a fiddle"?
Who says that?

Anyway...
Show us that outfit.

Oh yeah. Well, I didn't mess around.

Strut your stuff, strut your stuff.
- I went for a pretty little two-piece.

And a little bomber,
which is coming off now,

because the hunt is on,
I'm not going home alone.

She's going home with a busload of men.

And I have space for them all.
- She means her pussy.

I haven't been doing squats
just to go home alone.

At least one of us has to look good.

She's getting at you.

She didn't mean me.
She's means you and your horrible shoes.

Me? - You and your awful pumps.
- Shoes from hell.

They're not fit as a fiddle.
- I feel good in them.

All that's missing is
for them to hurt too! So...

Let's drink to Lulu's cheesy feet.

What?
- And to Benoît, the fucker.

Hi, guys.
- Hi, Mum.

So business is picking up?
- Hello, Cathy! Yes, it's all go today.

It's good to see people.
The season's finally started.

Speaking of seeing people, have you
got anyone? - Mum, not now please.

Sorry, but I don't want you
to end up alone like me, abandoned.

Dad didn't abandon you, Mum.

Really? What do you call it
when a man leaves you

alone holding a baby?
- He's dead.

Like I said. Without a word. Jules.

Yes? - A drink please, darling.
- Coming up.

Look how busy we are. You think
I have time to look for someone?

Funny you should say that,
because you see... you know Véro?

A client, who is also a friend.

Her daughter has no time
to look for anyone either.

Are you trying to offload
a friends' daughter on me?

I'm not offloading anything,
I'm doing you a favour.

Doing me a favour?
- Yes, exactly.

Like with here. Only now I want to find
the love of your life while you work.

A gift.
What mother does that? Eh, Jules?

Yeah... A G&T as usual, right Cathy?
- Right.

Say, what kind of way is that
to talk about women?

"Offloading"!
I didn't raise you like that!

It's not that. Can't she find someone
herself? - Let me show you the photos.

Photos! It gets even better,
my mother's a pimp. - Look!

Look at them! - No, I don't want
to look at the girl's photo.

What's her name?
- There we go. Now we're talking.

Her name's Cassandra.
- Cassandra.

I should have started with the photos.
Eh, Jules? - Yes, Cathy.

Who's that for?
- Right behind you.

Hello, Véro? Yes, it's Cathy.
Tomorrow night at 8. That okay for you?

Perfect, thank you.

Bye-bye!
- Hot, hot, hot!

There we are.

Like so?
- Act like you suddenly see your dad.

Dad! Dad! Say mum.
- Do I exhale now?

Aren't you scared of your parents?

Honey!

Go, Lulu! Go, Lulu!

You show them, Chacal!

You all right?

All right!

Hey, Lulu. Your wheels!

Damn, my van.

Shit.

Why do our evenings
always end like this?

You're right. I don't know.

It's taking ages.

I really want to take off and go hiking.

Girl, what are you saying?

I've never understood the lunacy
of people walking for pleasure.

The beautiful countryside! And it's not
just walking that's cool, it's climbing.

Yeah, right.

Sorry, is it just me
or is this taking forever?

Holy shit.

Holy shit!
- What? What is it?

Bradley Cooper has just liked me!
- No way!

He likes me. He likes me.

Let's see. Oh, it's him.

Hello, Nina,
it's Bradley Cooper, you know?

Did you think it was Bradley Cooper?

Come on, forget the jerk.
Come and holiday here with me!

You know I'm the love of your life,
so come on.

Cute! - I don't remember
Dylan being hot like that.

Sure...

Well?
- What?

Are we going or not?
- Where to?

Are we leaving this instant
for Biarritz? - Sure. So cool!

No.
- Come on.

Come on!

We're crazy, okay?

Okay.
- Okay, shall we go?

You know what? This is taking ages.
- Great, thanks!

It sure is,
I've been telling you for ages!

Excuse me, madam. A question.
Since you can't return vehicles,

doesn't it occur to you
not to take them?

Well, you only have to ask.

We'd really like the papers, actually,
if that's agreeable to you?

Enjoy the end of your life!
- Happy Halloween!

And bon appetit.
- Happy Easter. - Kiss kiss!

We're off to Biarritz.

Guess who?

One, two, three. Quick, show your ass!

Stop it. No...
No don't, you'll make me crash!

Marilyn Monroe.

The toothy rabbit in the metro!

Hello?
- Hi, Bradley! How are you today?

Fine, and you? You sound better.

Fine.
Going out with the girls did the trick.

So what about my suggestion
that you come here?

I'm well up for it.
We're about two hours away.

What? Seriously? But who's "we"?

Hi, Dylan!
- You're with the crazy girls?

That bother you?
- Not at all, it's cool.

But tonight I have a thing.
I have to see a girl.

You're so horrible.
You're going out the day we arrive!

It's my mother's thing.
A client's daughter.

Your mother's Cathy Kardashian, right?

Your mother calls me once a month

to tell me to get together with you.
You know that?

Seriously? - She says, "Dylan buys
your perfume for his girlfriends,

so he can keep a little piece of you."
You do that?

No.
- Okay.

How many times Dylan?

I don't know.

Maybe two at most.

Dylan, 30, pervert, repeat offender...

Every day he's at the Sephora
in Châtelet-les-Halles,

looking for "The Flower" by Kenzo.

Give me your address.
- I'll text it to you. - See you!

Love you!
- Bye!

I'm so looking forward
to diving in the water,

and rolling in the sand.

I can't wait to roll in the surfers.
- There are lovely mountain spots too.

Promise me we'll go for a walk.

I'm allergic to the sun.
Making pancakes on the beach, no way.

Too much. And every morning we'll get
up and hand out leaflets for UNICEF.

Mind the bend!

Stop! For God's sake!

Hi, guys! We're coming to your town!

Oh, they're cute!

Hello, nice ass!

Hey, tell your dads and your brothers
that we're here!

Tell them that we'll have them all.

Mine's a beer, we'll catch you later!

I'm so happy.
- All right? - Yes, and you?

Hi, Chacal.
- You good? - Yes, and you?

Hello.

All right?
- Yes, and you? - Yes.

Tired from the drive?
- A little.

Thanks for having us. It's lovely here.

My pleasure.
Get the bags in and have a drink?

No, let's go straight to the beach.
- We'll go tomorrow.

All I want to do now is have a drink.
- Me too. I'd love a fruit juice.

I brought a lot of books, so I think
I'll sit down and catch up a bit.

I don't have time at the moment.
- How old are you?

You can read at any age.
- Then read. - That way?

Christ, she's got a reading list.
- She's mad.

You reading anything?
- No. Have you got a list?

No.

Do you mind
taking your shoes off inside?

I'm not wearing any,
but I can wash my feet if you want.

Amazing! - I get it, you don't go into a
youth hostel in muddy boots. Same thing.

What?

Right.

I'm off then.

You know your house
has really great vibes.

It's a really nice place to be.
- Well, thank you.

The guy's showered, put on a polo shirt.
- Put on his glad rags.

Oh, it's nothing special.
- What's her name?

Cassandra, I think. - With that name,
you could go in breeches!

You're so funny.

Fantastic! Dylan and Cassandra...
You should set up a hot dog stand.

Or dodgems.
- Now you're taking the piss.

Roll up, roll up, roll up!
Let's hear it for Didi and Cassandra!

Knock the coconut off,
and win a nice big teddy!

Are you all going to take the piss
the whole time?

Sorry. Girls, stop it.
It's tough for Dylan.

He's acting as an escort for his mother.

No way!
- Don't forget to call the escort.

Sure.
- Then I'll be back sooner for a drink.

I promise.
- Okay, then. See you later.

Roll up, roll up!
Ciao! For the Didi and Cassandra show!

If they had a kid,
they'll have to call him Kevin.

Yes.
- You like it? - I do.

Have you been here before?
- No. You come here often?

No, never. Thanks, Tom, that's perfect.

Thanks.

Beautiful, isn't it?
- Totally.

That's Spain over there.
- Oh yes.

Shall we sit down?
- Yes.

When my mother organised this meeting,

I didn't expect to
have such a good evening.

Me neither.

Can I make a confession?
- Go ahead.

I feel such an idiot. Especially now
I know you, but... - Go on!

I asked a friend to call
just in case I need to leave.

Who does that?
- I don't... know Me.

What kind of twisted girl are you?
- It's got me out of awkward situations.

MY DARLING

Aren't you going to answer?

No, it'll be a wrong number.
- Right.

Though two calls in a row from 'my
darling' isn't usually a wrong number.

Good point.
- Yes.

But it isn't what you think.
I'll be right back. - Okay.

Hello?
- You took your time, man!

Sorry. My phone was on silent.

We're having drinks, then
playing Jungle Speed. - No, I'm fine.

Or we could play Time's Up?
- No, she's actually cool.

What do you mean, cool?
- Well, to be honest, she's good fun.

Okay, fine, but...
- You know what? I'll call you back.

Where did we get to?
- We were talking about the fact that...

I'm so sorry.
I'll take this and sort it out.

Okay. - Sorry, I'll be right back.
- No worries.

Hello? - Seriously? You ask me to call,
then you hang up on me?

I don't need any help, the girl is cool.

Okay, but I don't give a shit
if she's cool.

Don't hang up when you ask me to call.
- Nina, you're being a pain.

I'll call you back later and explain.
Have a good evening.

Okay. Have a nice evening.

Have a great evening. Okay.

I'm sorry, but that's all sorted now.
- No problem, but...

I'd rather say this now. If you're
the kind of guy who two-times a girl...

that's not my thing.
- Not at all, really.

You won't believe me, but
she's my best friend.

I had the same plan as you.
- Really? - Yes.

So now I look like an idiot.

Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen,
I have a call

for the owner
of the blue convertible outside.

Isn't that your car?
- No.

I am told that the convertible belongs
to Dylan Little-Dick.

Is Dylan Little-Dick here?

Yes. There he is.

God damn it, Nina...
- A round of applause!

Bravo!

It's great you've opened.

I'll make a little coffee.

Good morning!
- Morning.

Cassandra, my partner Jules.

Hello, Cassandra.
- Hello. - Nice to meet you.

You too.

Yeah.

Right, I'll leave you to it
and get going. - Wait, wait.

Do you want another coffee?
- No, thanks, I really have to go.

What do I owe you?
- That's on me.

Well, you opened up, so...
- So it's on you?

It is.
- Thanks, that's cool.

Right, see you later.

Thanks. Bye.
- Bye.

Admit it, she's got something.
- Yes, she does.

I like her.
It was a good. Not like usual.

You like her. And Nina?
- What about Nina?

Well...
- Nina's my buddy, that's all.

I pissed her off, it's dead for sure.

Sure.
- What?

What? Out with it!

"What I want, I can't have,
and what I have, I can't want." Hm?

I don't get it.

Ujjayi breath,
breathing through the nose.

Scared cat posture. - He spends
a whole evening with Cassandra,

he ignores us and nobody is shocked.
- And exhale. Lower the spine.

She can tell her shitty life story,
in a shitty reality show,

but not spend an evening with Dylan!
- Downward dog.

That's it! He's a pig.
You're right, he's a pig.

Are you jealous or what?
- Nonsense. The guy invites us here.

"Come to my place." When you
invite people, you spend time with them.

Then don't invite them!
- Bad karma.

This is so annoying.
You're not concentrating.

You don't listen! You give me bad vibes,
and my chakras are open!

What are you doing? Do you want
to rub up against that psycho or what?

I'm hypnotising him with my bum.
I think he likes it.

You're not hypnotising anyone!
He's a weird psycho rapist.

He sucks apples.
He wants to cut up your body

and lock it in a trunk.

I wouldn't mind, if he fucked me first.

She disgusts me.
- Too much.

Any problem,
I'll call Dylan the wrestler.

Dylan the what? What's the joke?

You don't know Dylan the wrestler?
- No, I don't.

Lulu will show you.
You won't be disappointed. Trust me.

Here.
- I warn you, this will crack you up.

Is it funny?
- Yes.

I so love that photo!

You went through his things?

You went through his things without me!
Some friends you are!

But you did a good job, bravo!

Wait, you haven't seen this.
- Better than Dylan the wrestler?

There's better
- The letter.

No!
- Yes. - He kept it.

Yes.
- Wait.

"Little Nina, I'm speaking of you,
because with your little voice,

your little quirks, you've poured
into my life a million roses."

Who? Who writes that
at eleven and a half? Who?

No-one. That's why
he stole the lyrics from Francis Cabrel.

So what? It's still so sweet!
- Yeah, just so sweet!

"Will you go out with me?"

I wrote in red, "Never in your life."

Like a bitch.
- Right.

We're bitches, and you're a slut.
- Right. Just stop doing that!

She's right. Stop, it's getting boring.
- Okay, I'll stop.

She's still at it with her bum.
- Stop it, it's boring.

You're too much!

Get off, you're ruining my credibility.
You have no credibility!

Maybe one day I'll get mail
from Jean-Jacques Goldman!

You're unbearable!

What's going on here?

What's he done?

What's all this? - Remember what
you wanted for your 13th birthday?

Bradley Cooper.
- I have something better. Come and see.

You'll love it, you'll see! Look!

See the bouncy castle there?

Unbelievable! Look at that.

Easy, Nina, easy. You'll burst it!
Stop. Stop.

Go, Dylan! Go!

Let's go!

No, no, no. It's not my thing! Really.
- Go, Lulu!

I'm afraid! Stop!

Throw the ball in.

Right, drink!

Missed!

Lulu, your turn!

I don't know how they do it.
I'm exhausted.

They drank less than you. - And you?
You've been drinking all afternoon.

You remind me of Joey Starr.

Okay?
- Yes. - Having a nice afternoon?

Sure.
- Is this mad or what? A bouncy castle!

A bouncy castle!
- What about Dylan?

He's cool.
- Sorry, no, but he is beyond cool!

I mean who remembers, ad vitam aeternam,
your 13th birthday?

Babe, that's not the question.
Ad vitam aeternam? Who says that?

What he's done for you is amazing.
- Yeah, it was pretty nice.

Nice? It's a declaration of love!

Nina, are you blind or what?

Bouncy castle, confetti, who does that?
Who puts a bouncy castle in the garden?

Even if I was rich and had kids,
I wouldn't put one up in my garden.

My kids aren't even born yet,
and already they annoy me.

What are we talking about?
I never think of him like that.

You have to stop thinking of him
as a buddy.

No. - Fun's fine for a while.
Then you have to fuck.

Hey, Chacal, you really have a problem.

They haven't declared their love yet.
- Are they going to be pen pals?

No, the first step
is to confess their love.

But at some point they have to fuck.
Ever known a love story without sex?

No.
- Often it's the other way round.

In the country,
people are nicer than in Paris. - Yes.

I was on the slide,
and a guy with dreads pushed me.

It was great,
there was already a feeling. - Nina?

Yes?
- I want to introduce you to someone.

Hello. - Hello.
- Cassandra, Nina, my best friend.

Glad to meet you.
Dylan told me so much about you - Cool.

Going to offer me a drink?
- Yes.

Do you want anything?
- No, thanks. I'm good.

Okay.
- See you later.

You see her?

She won't wait for a fuck.
- Right.

Don't worry.

Gently, gently.

Dylan?
- Yes? - Swap with you?

Yes, sure.
- Thanks.

Okay, ready?
- Yes, on you go.

Bam! Sorry.

One nothing.

Always the same!
- It didn't go over the net.

Get the ball.
- Play on.

There's no net.
- Usually there is a net.

That's not right.
- Are you a professional umpire now?

Well played!
- You want to play on?

Don't quit. Taking part counts.
Don't do that again, and we'll be fine.

It's a bit dangerous. - Stop, Nina!
- No, I've got this.

Whatever.

You can see my foot too.

And two and...

Come on, Nina!

Go on!

You can do it!
- Keep going!!

I don't get it! I don't get it.

It's because of the paddle. It's broken.
- Calm down, calm down.

All right, all right.
Nina, do you fancy a drink or something?

No. Piss off. Piss off!
- You sure? Cassandra?

What part of "piss off"
don't you understand?

Come on!

Thank you, audience, thank you.
Thank you, audience.

68-69. Match point.
- I'm going to win by two points!

Save your breath and serve.

Don't talk, serve!

Come on, girls!

Oh my God!

I don't believe that! Unbelievable!

I didn't think you'd do it.
- I was afraid.

You played so well!
- My backhand was amazing...

The rhythm to your game is incredible.
- I was worried.

I thought the paddle was a problem...
- But that was phenomenal.

Really, well done.
- Bravo, bravo!

Let's get a drink!
- I'm so happy.

You're the ping-pong world champion.

Morning.
- Hi. - Did you sleep well?

Yes, and you? - Yes.
I put your bowl out there. The red one!

You think my red bowl will make me
forget about my ping-pong table?

All right!
- You were out of order last night.

No, it was a nice evening.

She just kind of annoyed me, with her
denim shorts, over her tight ass.

And when she moved,
her tight bum stayed tight!

It bothered me a bit. - I've never known
a jealous Nina, but it's nice.

Let's do something crazy today
that the girls will like.

Okay. - And you can bring Cassandra
with her pert little bum in her shorts.

So you'll see that I'm not jealous.

Hello.
- Hello. - All right?

Yes, and you?
- Yes.

Oh dear. We haven't bought any kiwis,
so I can't make my smoothie.

We can go to the lake.
- Yes! We'll go this afternoon.

No, we said hiking.
- Oh no, no way.

I think storms are forecast
in the mountains, Lulu. - Really? - Yes.

That's a shame.
- Rotten luck.

Shame.
- Yes, it's a shame.

Here's your horoscope
for the summer Lulu. Love...

"An ideal month for new encounters,
but avoid toxic people."

Then shut up.
- Silly cow!

Have your girlfriends calmed down
or should I get a mouth guard?

I'm sure they didn't do it on purpose.
- Sure.

No, really.

Want a game? - No, thanks,
I've had enough of ball games.

Would you mind spraying my back, please?

I'd much prefer cream.

Much prefer it.

I didn't think we were
at this stage yet. - Hello.

Hello.

Right, you're doing it doggy style,
cool. Honestly.

Are you ever nice, or is it just me?

Sorry, I didn't recognise you
by your ass. - Tart.

I got here and saw an ass and a head
in the grass. I'm sorry. - Where's Nina?

Tight parking space. She hit
the car behind, then the car in front...

You should dismount your horse
before she comes. - Hey, you mean me?

Not that again! Let's go for a swim.
- We're just settling down.

I have 130 pages to go, then I'll come.

Oh, Lulu! - Since you're obviously
an osteopath, don't lose your touch!

Hello! All right, Cassandra?
- Yes, and you?

Yeah, fab. Where's Jules?
- He's coming, he just texted me.

Shall we go to the cliffs?
-Yes. - You'll love it.

Let's go.
- I think I'll rent a pedalo.

I sure hope you rent a pedalo.
- I'll swim there.

But it's on the other side.

I like to push my limits
in prolonged physical efforts.

Wow.

Is she serious?
Does she know what a pedalo costs?

Two euros. It's nothing.
I'll give her that if she wants.

What?
- What's got into you? Phoebe Halliwell?

I'll get a pedalo.
- You having a premonition?

"I like to push my limits..."
- Will you jump?

Yes, I think so.
- We have to.

We'll see.
- We absolutely have to do it.

Well, it's feasible, I guess.
But it is so high.

I'm not doing it.
- No chance.

Or we could all jump at once?
- No way.

Goddamn, you bastard!
- Shall we jump?

Jump if you like, I'm walking down.
- Nina, I'll hold your hand.

Show me how to do it.
- Okay, I will.

We can jump together.

Calm down, little mermaid,
my friend's still thinking about it.

Okay, no worries.

Nina, what the hell? Don't let her
push you around. - I'm scared.

You're funny, brave,
good at everything...

I love life. I'm scared.
- You don't have to do it.

She's right.
- He said he'd hold your hand.

YOLO, girls.
I'll leave you to think, I'm jumping.

YOLO. - She's gonna do it?
- For sure.

She said YOLO, she's jumping!
- I think she's going to dive!

Oh, the bitch!

Hey, chapeau! An artist!
- Wow! And hardly a splash.

Fantastic!
- I've never seen a dive like it.

And silent...
And she's a good swimmer too.

Is that Jules?

Wow, he's good-looking!

You think? He's not really my type.
- I don't think he's anyone's type.

I had a look, it's a no.
- She was good, huh? - Yes. Oh, wow!

Can you only get it up for
"incredible talents"? - She was good.

What are you doing?

Come back up here!
- That's a bad idea. You'll get hurt.

She'll kill herself.
Chacal, you'll kill yourself!

No, don't do it!
- Chacal!

Oh no, she splattered.
- She killed herself. She's dead!

That's it.
- Okay?

No, she's dead.
- She's not answering. - Come on.

She's dead.
- Stay there. We'll get you.

Okay? Take my hand.

It's going to be okay.

Don't worry, madam.
Your friend is with us.

Let go, sir, let go.

Well, I've got her things.
I'll take them home.

I'll follow her, so she's not alone.
- You don't mind?

No, it's a pleasure.
- A pleasure to go to hospital?

Yes, I like all the injections,
stretchers, drips...

The smell of soup
mixed with bleach. Nice.

Gotta go, they're waiting.

Here I am. Is she all right?

Hello?
- That's Jules!

That scares me.
- What an incredible couple they'd make.

I love it. - I'm glad he went.
Those firemen first aiders aren't great.

I think he fantasizes about
having sex in a hospital.

You can tell.
- Nonsense.

Why do you say that?
- How can you tell?

So! - Three.
- Hey, three. Take it.

Here. A present.
- What's that?

Take a card.
- But... - But what?

The cards you discarded... That allowed?
- Hello! - I dropped them.

Cool, you waited for us?

Maybe you should stay in
and rest tonight.

No, no, it will be cool.
- I'll stay, if...

No, seriously, I'll come.
Really. I'll have a quick shower and...

It may have looked
a bit dramatic, but...

It's cool.
- Right, cool.

Looks like it, yeah...
- Back in a minute.

Hi, Dylan, you good?
- Yes, and you?

Hello!

I've got a table for you.
Shall I do you a bucket, as usual?

The guy knows everyone.
- Oh yes.

Hey, how you doing?
- Hey, Dylan, all right?

Who's next, who's next, who's next,
it'll be the DJ.

Yes. Told you!

Hi, how you doing?

Come on, let's dance! - Not my thing.
- I'm hitting the dancefloor!

With a belly-flop like Chacal?
- It wasn't a belly-flop.

She has her own style, you don't get it.

You're ahead of your time,
they're not ready for you.

Even I'm not ready for you.
- No way are you ready!

Hey, easy now, easy!
You'll kill him. He's not used to it.

Come on, girls, let's dance!

Dylan, come on!

No, go on, keep dancing!
- Dylan, come on!

Dylan, who's your friend?

Nina, my best buddy.
- She's amazing!

I don't know what she's showboating for.
What? - Well, Kuduro is crap.

Go, Nina!

Come on, come on!

Come on, Lulu!

Yes, Lulu!

What a cool atmosphere!

Come on! - But I can't dance!
- You can, it's easy.

I'll put my leg on your shoulder,
then you slide.

What?
- Like "Dancing with the Stars".

You're mad.
- That's why you love me, right?

Yes.
- Okay, are you ready? Here we go.

Is everybody ready?

What?
- Leave me alone!

Back off!

Where are Rocky and Adrian?
- The bouncer threw them out.

Isn't that them there?

You okay?
- Yes, she's just a bit shocked.

Okay. And you? You're hurt.
- No, it's nothing.

Okay, see you at the house.

I'll take Cassandra home,
she doesn't want to go alone. - Okay.

You don't mind?
- Not at all.

After what you've just been through,
it's understandable.

Okay, thanks.

Well, sorry once again.
I'm sorry the night ended like this.

And there's no denying it.
You really are the queen of Kuduro.

You make me really, really happy.

It's the silliest title in the world,
but that touches my heart.

Right, shall we go?
- Yes.

I'll be back soon, okay?
- Okay.

Okay, let's get to the car, girls.

Yes, let's go.

See you later.

Don't lose them. Last time he said that,
he stayed the night with her.

I can't lose them. - I'll call my mum.
I'm calling my mother.

You can't call her. You don't do that.
Besides, it's 3AM, she'll never answer.

Hello darling, what's up? Where are you?
- Mamoune, it's Chacal.

Hello. - Meet Jules, my new guy,
we're going to live together.

Super!
- I think he just found that out too!

With Jules...
- We were with Dylan in a club.

It was going great, he looked at me like
I was the hottest girl in the world.

We almost kissed.
I was the most beautiful girl for him.

And now he's driving some bitch home.
- She did get attacked, though.

Shut it!
- Shut up, Jules.
- We're not talking to you, so shut up.

Pardon me, madam.
- So unnecessary...

Calm down. You have the girls
with you, and Chacal's hostage.

My advice is forget Dylan.
You're best friends, that's what counts.

No, Mum. You don't get it. I love him.
There, I said it. I love him.

I love him like a mountain of salmon,
a free food voucher,

like I fit into a size 34.
I love him and it's driving me crazy.

Okay. Jules?
- Here. - Yes, Mamoune?

You heard her,
so step on it and don't lose them.

I'll be straight up with you, Mamoune,
I couldn't get any closer!

Stay on their tail!

What are they doing?

Now say goodbye and good riddance
to that firm little ping-pong butt.

So here we are. This is it.

What do you mean?
- It's time for you to choose.

I don't follow.

Listen, I don't want to be stuck forever
between you and your best friend.

So either you come up or you go.

I mean...

It's either Nina or me.

I can't see a thing.
Switch on the lights, Jules.

Come.

What's going on, girls?

Come on, tell me.
- He went in with her, Mum.

We'll call you back, Mamoune.

Dylan's a nice guy, I don't think
he'd have sex on the first night.

Stop it!
- She, however...

All right, all right, let's go.

Hit it, baby.

Bravo.

You managed to escape
without me calling.

Well done.

You know nothing happened.

I just took the time to tell her...

that you're the love of my life.

It's mad.

I've been giving you the brush-off
since school.

And the one time that you brush me off,

I feel like I want to die.

I've never allowed myself
to kiss you or...

imagine anything other
than our crazy friendship.

But lately I've realised that...

I only feel good with you.

It's only with you
that I smile and I laugh.

That I really come to life.

And lately
I've even enjoyed pleasing you.

But it frightens me.

I'm scared of ruining it all.

Should we really get together?

We could lose so much.

But at the same time,
just the thought of...

of you being with someone else
drives me crazy.

Because I want to be the only one.

Yes.

I'm telling you straight up,
I want to be with you, Dylan.

I want to be with you.

I want to marry you, live with you
and drive a Kangoo.

I want parties every day, for no reason,
even on Thursdays.

I want to go to the pool,
I just want us to have fun.

Because you're the man of a lifetime.

You're the man of my life.

So I don't understand...

You do know that...

you're going to have to scrub your dick.
- What? - Well...

He's seen too much of the world.

You need a huge spring clean.

I swear. A new look for a new life.

There you are!
- What did I tell you?

Oh, my darling, my darling!
I'm so glad to see you!

Hey, you. It took you ages to come
and see me. You've been here for a week.

It took me that long to get rid
of all the tarts you introduced him to.

I have some ideas, especially for
the dress. Of course, it's up to you,

up to both of you.

But I'm quite happy with my ideas.
- Hello, Mum...

Or not. - But I am slightly hesitant,
not about the dress, but about...

So the tent will go there,
the buffet there,

here's where we'll dance,
and then it's up to you.

But I think it's a possibility.

Won't you sit down with us, Mum?

But thanks for all your suggestions.
They're great. We'll think about it.

Right?
- Yes, of course. we'll think about it.

And as soon as I'm back,
we'll talk more.

When will you be moving here?

How do you mean?
- Well, you can't stay in Paris forever.

That's not possible!
- No. - They're all mad up there.

Not to mention that
long-distance romances are...

Right...
- Move in with Dylan.

Mum, don't bug her about that.
She's got a lot on in Paris right now.

My work is in Paris.
I don't have anything here.

You'll find work!

There's no shortage of work
for lawyers here!

And if you ask around with Dylan,
you'll find something.

She has a point.
- We'll see.

Excellent.

Oh, I forgot to tell you about Patoche!
Patoche.

A video artist friend

who makes sublime wedding videos.

In the beginning his passion was
orangutans, but he does humans well too.

Magnificent.
- Then we'll take Patoche.

Sure.
- Extraordinary! J'adore!

J'adore...
- J'adore...

Thank you.
Okay, I'll see you next Wednesday.

Bye.

That sounds good.
- So?

Come on, come on, tell us, tell us!
- Okay.

So I called them. - Yes...
- They're unanimous, they loved my CV.

On Wednesday I see Mr Charvoux,
the best lawyer in Paris,

because they want...
- Go on!

to offer me a permanent contract!

Come here.
- That's great. - Fantastic.

Bravo. I'm so happy. You did it!

I's unbelievable. It's crazy.
- I'll have my own personal lawyer!

You sure will.

It's a small consolation
for the thought of leaving soon.

Girls, I'm not driving back up with you,
if that's okay.

What? - Sorry, that's my fault.
- I'm staying a while.

Unbelievable.
- Fantastic. - That's too good.

So I can give you a hand in the bar.
- I think it's very cool you're staying.

I raise my glass to friendship,
to holidays and to love, my friends.

And if this is misery...
- Long may it last!

Isn't that the first time
that Chacal wasn't vulgar?

That's true.
- I'm turning her into a romantic.

You sure fucking are!

They invent all this and then go,
"Yeah, five fruits a day"...

I love you!
- Easy! - I've missed you.

That's enough.
- No, there's fruit in that.

Burrata, toilet paper and we're done.

Why don't you stay here like Chacal?
- Because in Paris...

Chacal's a dog groomer. That's why.

I'd rather have you at the bar.
- She'll cost you more, for sure.

Toilet paper!

Take this here.
- That up there. No that's too rough.

They're the same.
- Piggy back.

Oh, Nina!
- It's not for me, it's for your bum.

Wait. One...

Take your time.
- Two...

Your leg...
- First leg. - Your hand...

Yes. I'm trembling.

One, and two.

Okay.
- What? - I'll put you down.

No, no, no! Like when we were kids.
The horse game.

We're not playing horse.
- Please, Dylan.

No, I'm not being a horse.
- Yes, you are. I'm not coming down.

Again. Giddy-up. Now gallop.

Okay?
- Yes.

I love you, Nina. Stay here.

Dylan...
- What?

You said "I love you" for the first time
in the toilet roll aisle.

That's fine. No one will have
a first "I love you" like ours.

Burrata!

And get a move on. Quick. Quick.

111.47 euros, sir.
- Here.

What are you doing, madam?
- Verifying the note.

Looks like you're photocopying them.
- Just doing my job.

With the fraud office?
- We've had trouble with counterfeits.

My manager introduced a protocol, that
I'm following, for counterfeit notes.

So you're better than the machine.
- I'll pay by card.

Okay.
- No, no, no.

We don't have time!
- We're paying cash, not by card.

We're not counterfeiters.
- Excuse me, but with all due respect...

I've never seen an adult
in a shopping cart, okay?

What did you just say?
- We can sort this out very fast.

I know your tricks,
this is out of order.

I'll leave it to security.
- She's gone mad.

Nathalie calling security at checkout 3,
security to checkout 3, thank you.

I'll pay by card and we go.
- You go! I'll wait with Nathalie...

I'm not listening.
- What's going on here?

They tried to leave without paying.

What are you saying? What's going on?
You're sick!

Who the hell are you?
- Who the hell are you?

No, who the hell are you?
- You're spitting!

Let go of my hair!
- No!

I'll tear it all out!
- Security, do something!

So we'll head up that way.
Are you coming?

We'll pass some horses first.
It's a pretty easy hike, really.

Then there are goats, sheep
and even a pond, with ducks.

Wow, ducks.
- Great.

Can you see? There's the summit.

See it?
- Oh yes.

I'm tired.

Oh, you're a pain, come on.

Hup!

There are wild sheep!
- Can we take a breather?

You out of breath?
- Yes. - I'm going to kill you.

Very pretty.

Do we need to pour water over you?
Are you glued together now?

Join us!
- It's not good to be jealous.

Think of me, I'm all alone!
- You want us to think about you?

Let's think about her.
- That turns me on. - They're awful!

Nina? - Yes?
- Can you pass me my phone, please?

What's this?

You still talk to Cassandra?
- I don't talk, I just text her back.

She said, "Fine, and you?"
That means you asked her.

Anyway, why are you reading my messages?

Typical man's excuse! But that's
not the point. The point is...

Why are you talking to a girl
you were dating before me?

She's just a friend. What is this, Nina?
- Dylan, she's not a friend.

She's a pretty little ass.

The worst thing is
I haven't even returned to Paris yet

and already you're making plans.
- Well, don't go then.

What?

Nina, sorry. I shouldn't have said that.
What are you doing?

What does it look like?
- Are you serious?

You're really leaving because of that?
It's not like I joined "Pick a Dick".

You are such an asshole.

I love you, Dylan. I love you so much.
But you're ruining everything.

When we promised we'd never grow up,

I think you misunderstood.

You're afraid of becoming an adult.

And you will never ever be capable

of committing to anyone.

Come on, Lulu, let's go.
Pack your bag, we're leaving.

Here, let me help you.
- Thanks, that's kind.

Bye.
- My Lulu!

Call me, okay?
- Safe journey. You call me.

Okay, I will when we get there.
I'll miss you.

Be quiet!
- Dylan, thanks for having us.

Apart from the last five minutes,
I loved this holiday.

Oh, Jules.

See you soon.
- Take care. - Yes, I promise.

Go on then, leave! I don't need you!

PARIS, A MONTH AND A HALF LATER...

Look at you! You look great!
- How are you?

Fine. - Thanks. It's with...
- Coconut milk, yes.

Sorry, I just have no time. I'm sorry.
- I know. No time to sit at a café.

I have to bring you a coffee.

Anyway, I'm here and glad to see you.

So tell me...
I know there's some big news.

I'm getting a new job.
- You're leaving Outdoor Magazine?

No.

Why?

You're not? Oh well. So tell me...
- Well, I'm getting a pay rise.

And I'm moving to
the "high mountain" section. - Great!

A bigger salary! Very cool. I'm so glad!

I'll get a new apartment,
so I'm not sharing a bathroom.

You're joining the bourgeoisie. - A bit.
- Lulu's had a breakthrough, boys.

I'm so happy for you. You rock!

Chacal tells me
you're not answering her calls.

I love her, but she's being a nuisance.

She rings to tell me
she's dying of love for Jules,

or to tell me to answer Dylan's calls.
- Why not call him back?

I have nothing to say to him.

You have nothing to say to him?

Friends since childhood,

you've spoken daily since you were 16,
and suddenly you've nothing to say?

That's right. He lives his life,
I live mine. That's fine.

I drink coconut milk and he pulls girls.

He doesn't. You flipped, he flipped.
You put pressure on each other.

You're making a huge deal
out of an old text message.

I don't get this. Are you defending him?
- I'm not defending anyone. It's just...

You're making a mountain
out of a molehill.

I don't even know what that means.

Sorry to keep you waiting.

Madam?
- I haven't forgotten you.

One thing at a time...

Well?
- Nothing. I'm getting worried.

Hope he hasn't done anything stupid.
- You been round? - Yes, no answer.

Go back, and this time break in
through a window or something. - Yes.

You can leave me alone. I'll manage.
- Okay, that's what we'll do.

Right, it's self-service now,
so move your butts, okay?

Excuse me?
- Staff are taking a 15-minute break.

Hey, man. You all right?

At least you're alive.

You look like shit, but...
You're alive!

Hey, Dracula, don't mind,
I opened it a bit because...

Coffee?
- Thanks.

A glass of water.

Leave that, I'll do it.

Jules, leave it. I'll do it later.

Jules!

Didn't you hear? I said I'll do it.
I don't need you to clean up the house.

I'm well aware
you don't need me to clean up.

You don't need anyone.
That's the problem.

Your little car's all neat,
the house is all tidy.

You'll end up alone, my friend.

Even the girls you lay, you stay at
theirs so they don't mess your place up.

But you know what the truth is?

You're scared they'll stay.

Nina's a jewel. Before she came,
you talked about her non-stop. And why?

She wasn't available. When she dumped
her guy, you started freaking.

The worst thing is
that you pushed her into it.

So please think about it.

Instead of cleaning up your house,
clean up your head.

WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME?
- YES

Nina!

What are you doing here?

I'll wait up there.
- This is not the time.

Besides, I have nothing to say to you.
- I need to talk to you.

If you didn't want me to come,
you'd have picked up the phone.

Okay, what then?

I'm sorry, Nina. I apologise.
It's my fault.

But I love you.

I can't stop thinking about you.
When I open my eyes, or close them...

I've loved you since primary school.

That's your problem, Dylan.
You live in the past.

I love our memories too, but we should
have stayed friends. That's all.

And stop calling me. Stop.

Everything okay?
- Yes, don't worry.

Who was that?
- A mistake. - You again?

Do you know him?
- Another mistake.

Nina?

You don't have the right to discard me.
- Go, this is not the time. - No.

I'm not leaving till you hear me out.
- What is going on?

Another little dick problem.
- That's exactly it, Your Honour.

A little dick problem, A little dick who
was afraid of growing up and ageing.

Afraid of loving.

And suffering for it.

We're all afraid of that, in truth.

Of suffering.

But I'm not afraid, Nina.

Because I love you.

I love only you.

I love everything about you.

I love it when you get angry
at the supermarket checkout.

I love when
you sleep with your eyes open.

I love when you leave
your wet towel on the bed.

When you sing out of tune.
- All right!

For the last time, stop making
a fool of yourself. You're ridiculous.

I don't mind being ridiculous,
if it gets me back with her.

Because it's you
I want to spend my life with, Nina.

It's you I love.

So Nina, my love...

Let me become an old fool with you.

What are they doing?

At least it's not Cabrel!
- No.

Officers! Take them away!

Bravo!

Lulu!

Jules, the rings!

Bravo!

Breathe, Jules!

The bouquet, the bouquet, the bouquet!

Lulu!

Lulu!

FOR EMILE DEBONNE
AND CYRIL COLBEAU-JUSTIN

FOR THE REGHIOUAS, OUNOUGHIS, DEBONNES
AND THE FRIENDS WHO ARE FAMILY

FOR MY FOLOLOS :)

Subtitles: Simon McEachran
FFS-Subtitling GmbH

Creative Supervisor: D. Mark Skibo