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1
00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:31,426
Oh, bollocks.
2
00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:36,890
We've got a problem.
3
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:39,518
A cyber attack?
Yes, prime minister.
4
00:01:39,558 --> 00:01:42,521
Took me two bottles of wine
5
00:01:42,561 --> 00:01:45,489
and half a packet of sleeping
pills to finally nod off.
6
00:01:45,529 --> 00:01:48,218
And you wake me
because some fat-fingered,
7
00:01:48,258 --> 00:01:50,044
hacker's pinched
your pin number?
8
00:01:50,084 --> 00:01:52,505
Well, it's a little more serious
than that, prime minister.
9
00:01:52,545 --> 00:01:53,907
The identities of every one
10
00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:56,238
of our serving agents
have been exposed.
11
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:58,078
What?
12
00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:00,205
Who's doing this?
We're not sure, ma'am.
13
00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:03,083
So one week before I host
my first g12 summit,
14
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:05,419
britain's entire security
apparatus has been taken down
15
00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:06,878
and you know absolutely nothing?
16
00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:09,451
That does pretty much sums up
the situation, ma'am, yes.
17
00:02:09,491 --> 00:02:11,733
Well, you better get someone on
it and find me some answers!
18
00:02:11,757 --> 00:02:14,097
Yes, but that's the problem.
We don't have any agents left.
19
00:02:14,137 --> 00:02:15,304
They've all been outed.
20
00:02:15,344 --> 00:02:17,885
So bring back an old one!
21
00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:35,785
All units, this is Juliet echo.
Stand by for target coordinates.
22
00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:42,284
Target acquired.
Repeat, target acquired.
23
00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:03,100
Now then, what have we here?
24
00:03:05,102 --> 00:03:06,355
Sorry, sir.
25
00:03:06,395 --> 00:03:08,023
Never mind, baggaley.
26
00:03:08,063 --> 00:03:11,193
Your concealment and camouflage
work is definitely improving.
27
00:03:11,233 --> 00:03:12,486
Thank you, sir.
28
00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:13,570
Come on.
29
00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:15,614
You, too, ibadulla.
30
00:03:15,654 --> 00:03:19,117
Excellent.
That is a first-class man-trap.
31
00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:21,664
Six house points. Yes!
32
00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:25,374
Right, let's get back
to school before matron
33
00:03:25,414 --> 00:03:26,833
notices you're missing.
34
00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:29,710
And don't worry, there aren't
any more booby traps.
35
00:03:32,254 --> 00:03:34,886
Apart from this one, of course.
36
00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:51,066
Mr. English?
37
00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:52,896
We haven't seen him, sir.
38
00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:58,535
And that's camouflage.
39
00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:07,796
And go.
40
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:09,962
And go.
41
00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:12,045
And go.
42
00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:15,297
The welfare of your children
is our Paramount concern.
43
00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:17,426
They're never exposed
to any unnecessary risk,
44
00:04:17,466 --> 00:04:19,176
I assure you.
45
00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:34,188
I think that's an "f" for your bomb
disposal coursework, hattersley.
46
00:04:34,357 --> 00:04:37,112
"You're looking particularly
beautiful tonight."
47
00:04:37,152 --> 00:04:40,824
You're looking particularly
beautiful tonight.
48
00:04:40,864 --> 00:04:42,159
"Ching!"
49
00:04:42,199 --> 00:04:43,739
Ching!
50
00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:48,372
Have a good half-term, sir!
Thank you.
51
00:05:41,049 --> 00:05:43,386
Are you seriously telling me
this is all we've got?
52
00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:44,805
Most of them are either dead,
53
00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:47,978
having hip operations or
recovering from prostate surgery.
54
00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:51,066
Okay.
55
00:05:51,393 --> 00:05:55,232
Before your briefing, we'll need you
to re-sign the official secrets act.
56
00:05:55,272 --> 00:05:56,732
Thank you.
57
00:05:56,815 --> 00:05:57,901
Thank you.
58
00:05:57,941 --> 00:05:59,241
Thank you.
59
00:05:59,442 --> 00:06:01,232
Thank you very much.
60
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:03,902
Any of you gentlemen
remember this?
61
00:06:04,072 --> 00:06:07,828
The mont blanc blaster.
Haven't seen one of those for years.
62
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:12,624
Take the cap off and, if memory serves,
you've 20 seconds to replace it
63
00:06:12,664 --> 00:06:15,797
or it detonates with the force
of a stun grenade.
64
00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:37,610
Thank you.
65
00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:42,445
Teas on the left, gentlemen.
66
00:06:42,485 --> 00:06:44,698
And coffees on the right.
67
00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:46,032
Excellent.
68
00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:49,160
Oh, damn it, I forgot my pills.
69
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:51,616
Here, have some of mine.
70
00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:55,083
Scotch whisky, single malt?
71
00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:57,127
Thank you very much.
72
00:06:57,167 --> 00:06:59,212
Coffee.
73
00:06:59,439 --> 00:07:01,980
Here, let me help you with that.
74
00:07:07,012 --> 00:07:08,392
Tea?
75
00:07:13,529 --> 00:07:16,616
This one just needs
a little top-up of hot water.
76
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,526
I'll be right back.
77
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:22,402
Man's a divot
of the first order.
78
00:07:22,682 --> 00:07:24,863
Someone should put him
out of his misery.
79
00:07:24,903 --> 00:07:28,240
Along with whoever
furnished this room.
80
00:07:37,241 --> 00:07:39,922
Good morning.
Sorry to keep you.
81
00:07:41,570 --> 00:07:43,610
Are the others here?
82
00:07:51,452 --> 00:07:55,165
They, they nodded off.
83
00:07:55,507 --> 00:07:56,807
Right...
84
00:07:57,519 --> 00:07:59,104
And who are you exactly?
85
00:07:59,522 --> 00:08:00,902
English.
86
00:08:01,308 --> 00:08:03,748
- Johnny English.
- Well...
87
00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:06,550
"English..."
88
00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:08,865
You'll leave immediately.
89
00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:11,034
My people will give you
the full briefing en route.
90
00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:12,452
Oh, is there anything you need?
91
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:16,289
Yes, nerve gas nasal spray,
a type-four exoskeleton...
92
00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:18,333
You should probably
start a list.
93
00:08:18,373 --> 00:08:21,878
And a garroting watch, with a rubber
strap, not the steel bracelet
94
00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:25,548
because the links get caught in
the little hairs on my wrist.
95
00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:27,970
Oh, and I'll also need a bough.
96
00:08:28,216 --> 00:08:30,006
What's a bough?
97
00:08:31,094 --> 00:08:32,394
Sir!
98
00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:36,311
Wonderful to see you!
99
00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:40,146
Yes, all right, bough. We're going
on a mission, not a honeymoon.
100
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:42,067
Yes, of course, sir.
101
00:08:42,631 --> 00:08:45,485
I think it's the pin of your
buckle, sir. It's caught on my jumper.
102
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:46,877
Yes, I can see
what's wrong, bough.
103
00:08:46,901 --> 00:08:50,364
If you go to your left
and I'll go to my right.
104
00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:54,990
I'm sorry, no, if you go to your
right and I'll go to my left.
105
00:08:56,745 --> 00:09:00,583
No. If I go clockwise
and you go anti-clockwise...
106
00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:02,810
Er, no, I think that's
making it worse, sir.
107
00:09:02,834 --> 00:09:05,546
I'm surprised that didn't work.
108
00:09:10,515 --> 00:09:11,649
Good morning, sir.
109
00:09:11,690 --> 00:09:14,018
I have your agent
activation pack here.
110
00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:15,932
Department-issue smartphone.
111
00:09:15,972 --> 00:09:20,311
580-megapixel camera,
4.7-inch retina hd display.
112
00:09:20,351 --> 00:09:25,645
Ingenious. And what does it shoot?
Poison darts?
113
00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:29,991
It doesn't shoot anything.
It's a phone.
114
00:09:30,278 --> 00:09:32,240
There's a Twitter handle,
instagram feed
115
00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:34,325
and secure login for the
department uber account.
116
00:09:34,365 --> 00:09:35,410
What's he on about, bough?
117
00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:37,746
I need a weapon.
Not a box of gobbledygook.
118
00:09:37,786 --> 00:09:40,165
I think, what agent English
119
00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:42,751
is getting at, sir, is all
this is highly trackable.
120
00:09:42,791 --> 00:09:46,212
But since we're dealing with a very
sophisticated, digital target,
121
00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:51,137
we might be less visible if we took
a more analog, low-tech approach.
122
00:09:52,509 --> 00:09:53,889
Exactly.
123
00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:56,642
I see.
124
00:09:56,888 --> 00:09:58,974
Is there anything else
I can get you?
125
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:00,730
A gun.
126
00:10:01,976 --> 00:10:06,440
We don't really do guns anymore.
127
00:10:06,523 --> 00:10:08,404
Just get him a gun.
128
00:10:08,525 --> 00:10:10,110
Right, a gun.
129
00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:19,832
Right. Haven't actually done
one of these before.
130
00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:22,874
"It is my obligation
under section 14"
131
00:10:22,914 --> 00:10:24,767
"of the health and safety
directive to inform you"
132
00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:27,504
"that the equipment with which
you are about to be issued"
133
00:10:27,544 --> 00:10:29,755
‘can cause injury
and bodily harm.
134
00:10:33,383 --> 00:10:35,835
"Furthermore, any agents
with nut allergies"
135
00:10:35,875 --> 00:10:37,489
"should be aware
that traces of cashew oil..."
136
00:10:37,513 --> 00:10:39,144
Thank you.
137
00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:42,976
Right, transport.
138
00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,815
So, take any hybrid you want.
139
00:11:04,414 --> 00:11:05,875
I'll take this one.
140
00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:09,003
Oh, don't be ridiculous, English.
This car is a relic.
141
00:11:09,043 --> 00:11:11,881
Drinks petrol, leaks oll
and has no passive,
142
00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:13,758
let alone
active safety features.
143
00:11:13,798 --> 00:11:15,276
Do you know what else
it doesn't have, sir?
144
00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:18,096
Satellite navigation
or a single computer chip.
145
00:11:18,136 --> 00:11:21,678
Making it completely invisible
to a digital enemy.
146
00:11:23,391 --> 00:11:25,520
The equipment
agent English requested, sir.
147
00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:27,066
Thank you.
148
00:11:27,896 --> 00:11:29,982
Phone, bough? Yeah.
149
00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:36,367
That hi-tech villain of yours
will never see us coming.
150
00:11:53,588 --> 00:11:55,719
Let's see what they've given us.
151
00:11:56,132 --> 00:12:01,142
Exoskeleton, exploding cotton
buds, the old shoebox inflatable.
152
00:12:03,636 --> 00:12:04,864
What are these?
153
00:12:04,904 --> 00:12:07,645
Instant release super
high energy pills.
154
00:12:07,685 --> 00:12:10,637
Like sticking your fingers
in an electric socket.
155
00:12:10,677 --> 00:12:12,143
Highly recommended.
156
00:12:12,261 --> 00:12:15,945
Right, so, the red ones must be the
total knockout sleeping pills.
157
00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:17,316
Correct.
158
00:12:17,356 --> 00:12:19,739
Probably worth labeling these.
159
00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:23,369
Look, sir. Sweeties.
160
00:12:25,703 --> 00:12:27,540
Hang on a minute.
161
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,459
I always did love a jelly baby.
162
00:12:29,499 --> 00:12:32,629
I wouldn't if I was you, bough.
"Jelly" is short for gelignite.
163
00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:34,438
One bite and it'll take
the top of your head off
164
00:12:34,462 --> 00:12:36,423
along with the roof of the car.
165
00:12:36,714 --> 00:12:38,754
So, what does this do?
166
00:12:39,717 --> 00:12:41,882
It's a mixtape, bough.
167
00:12:46,015 --> 00:12:48,728
- So, destination?
- South of France, sir.
168
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,813
That cyber attack
seems to have been launched
169
00:12:50,853 --> 00:12:53,610
from the Wi-Fi signal
of a hotel in antibes.
170
00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:39,223
Sir?
171
00:13:39,264 --> 00:13:41,695
Sir, I've just had
a fax through from hq.
172
00:13:41,779 --> 00:13:44,951
Background checks on all the guests
that accessed the Wi-Fi network.
173
00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:47,407
You see?
Who needs email?
174
00:13:54,208 --> 00:13:56,840
One name has raised
a red flag, sir.
175
00:13:57,337 --> 00:14:00,466
Sebastian lynch, ex-army
and military intelligence.
176
00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:03,594
Now selling his services
to the highest bidder.
177
00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:06,596
Where do we find him?
Directly ahead, sir.
178
00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:11,480
He's got an 8:00 reservation
at the cote de roc restaurant.
179
00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:25,199
The problem's going to be getting close
enough for a full surveillance, sir.
180
00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:27,450
Not necessarily.
181
00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:47,349
Oh, darling, I've just gotta get this.
Two seconds.
182
00:14:47,637 --> 00:14:49,692
Simple plan, two parts.
183
00:14:49,733 --> 00:14:52,152
You provide the distraction,
I'll get the phone.
184
00:14:52,198 --> 00:14:54,668
Yes, sir.
And from now on,
185
00:14:54,769 --> 00:15:00,029
perhaps we should sound
like French waiters.
186
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:03,566
French waiters?
187
00:15:04,153 --> 00:15:05,693
Yees.
188
00:15:06,948 --> 00:15:08,408
Go on.
189
00:15:13,871 --> 00:15:16,207
Are you finished now, Sebastian?
190
00:15:17,208 --> 00:15:18,920
Bread roll?
191
00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:20,340
Yes, thank you.
192
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:22,676
Excellent choice, madame.
193
00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:25,550
Good evening.
194
00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:27,723
How are you?
195
00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:30,807
Bread roll, sir?
196
00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:32,557
Yes. Thank you.
197
00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:38,815
One second.
198
00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:41,066
Excuse me, would you mind?
199
00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:44,114
Oh, yes. Evening.
200
00:15:44,402 --> 00:15:45,782
Evening.
201
00:15:59,834 --> 00:16:01,465
Thank you.
202
00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:16,893
Where's my phone?
203
00:16:18,269 --> 00:16:19,934
That is your phone.
204
00:16:28,237 --> 00:16:29,537
Thank you.
205
00:16:30,531 --> 00:16:31,866
Monsieur.
206
00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:36,330
The, shell on my wife's lobster,
could you remove it, please?
207
00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:39,707
Yees.
208
00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:50,134
Let me crack it for you.
209
00:17:38,432 --> 00:17:39,892
Hello?
210
00:17:42,687 --> 00:17:45,273
Steve, I'll have to call you back.
Call you back.
211
00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:48,773
Give me a sec. Hang on.
212
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:51,738
What is going on?
213
00:17:54,949 --> 00:17:57,285
Sebastian, don't get involved.
214
00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:08,633
What is he doing? I don't know.
He's a fool.
215
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:11,303
There we are.
216
00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:14,765
Voila.
217
00:18:22,624 --> 00:18:25,165
Bon appétit.
218
00:18:27,231 --> 00:18:30,648
I will talk to the manager.
I will talk to the manager.
219
00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:41,917
Textbook, bough.
220
00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:48,214
Just holiday snaps, sir.
221
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:51,257
Wait a minute, this photo.
222
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:55,431
It was taken the same day our villain
accessed the Wi-Fi, and look.
223
00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:00,975
Whoever was on that yacht
224
00:19:01,015 --> 00:19:03,811
could easily have used
the hotel's Wi-Fi,
225
00:19:03,851 --> 00:19:07,314
sent that signal
and then just sailed away.
226
00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:12,527
I think it's time
we paid the dot calm a visit.
227
00:19:24,955 --> 00:19:26,000
Algorithms.
228
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:28,294
We are surrounded by them.
229
00:19:28,334 --> 00:19:30,546
Algorithms run our lives,
230
00:19:30,586 --> 00:19:35,346
choose our TV shows, stream our music.
Even find us a date.
231
00:19:37,093 --> 00:19:38,929
I know this chap, don't I?
232
00:19:38,969 --> 00:19:42,266
Yes, he's that silicon valley
billionaire who dated a Kardashian.
233
00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:45,144
Two Kardashians and a black-eyed pea.
Keep watching.
234
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:48,481
But supposing there was an
algorithm for an entire country.
235
00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:52,318
A single algorithm that could be
applied to every one of its problems.
236
00:19:52,358 --> 00:19:56,822
A single algorithm that could take
a second-rate nation and make it
237
00:19:57,071 --> 00:19:59,236
world class.
238
00:20:00,282 --> 00:20:02,994
Every nation is awash with data.
239
00:20:03,411 --> 00:20:08,330
So now, more than ever, we need to put
that data to work for the people.
240
00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:11,504
These few lines of code will
deliver the kind of change
241
00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:14,382
they have been dreaming of
their entire lives.
242
00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:17,759
I am Xander. I love data.
243
00:20:20,678 --> 00:20:22,515
He's so clever.
244
00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:25,559
He's young, he's sexy,
he's insanely successful.
245
00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:28,857
Just the qualities we need
people to associate with me.
246
00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:31,023
Yes, prime minister.
247
00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:33,651
And they will do when he
starts working with us.
248
00:20:33,691 --> 00:20:36,362
But why would a silicon valley
billionaire work with us?
249
00:20:36,402 --> 00:20:39,156
Just get him into number 10
and let me work on him.
250
00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:40,906
Yes, ma'am. Go on.
251
00:20:43,534 --> 00:20:45,074
Oh, god, now what?
252
00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:47,047
There's been another attack,
prime minister.
253
00:20:47,201 --> 00:20:48,832
Air traffic control.
254
00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:51,877
Someone's rerouted every
flight in Europe to luton.
255
00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:54,104
For god's sake, tell me the
agent you've got in the field
256
00:20:54,128 --> 00:20:56,134
is making some progress?
257
00:21:05,306 --> 00:21:08,394
So, how are we gonna find the
location of that yacht, sir?
258
00:21:08,434 --> 00:21:12,067
Very easily, bough.
We ring mi7.
259
00:21:15,907 --> 00:21:17,119
Hello, hello?
260
00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:19,698
Yes, I need the location
of a boat called...
261
00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:27,120
Hello? Hello, yes.
A boat called the dot calm.
262
00:21:27,536 --> 00:21:29,997
Yes, it's a play on words.
Yeah.
263
00:21:30,039 --> 00:21:31,339
Where?
264
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:40,011
Looks about
half a mile out, sir.
265
00:21:40,758 --> 00:21:43,095
Do we wanna try
and swim it or...
266
00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:44,440
No, bough.
267
00:21:44,481 --> 00:21:46,640
This is a job
for the shoebox inflatable.
268
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:48,595
No, don't open it in the car, sir!
269
00:21:54,814 --> 00:21:58,106
Can you reach your door handle?
270
00:22:00,236 --> 00:22:02,117
No, sir.
271
00:22:02,321 --> 00:22:04,953
I'll try my side.
272
00:22:22,049 --> 00:22:26,342
Right, bough, our aim is to get
on board without anyone noticing.
273
00:22:26,595 --> 00:22:28,432
And how are we gonna do it?
274
00:22:28,472 --> 00:22:31,138
Magnetic boots.
Brilliant, sir.
275
00:22:31,725 --> 00:22:33,229
Simple mechanism.
276
00:22:33,269 --> 00:22:36,686
Left switch activates left boot.
Right switch activates right.
277
00:22:37,106 --> 00:22:39,237
Okay, let's go.
278
00:22:53,831 --> 00:22:59,626
Remember, the absolutely vital
element of this mission is surprise.
279
00:23:21,025 --> 00:23:22,878
Now, you have to get up
pretty early in the morning
280
00:23:22,902 --> 00:23:25,318
to outwit British intelligence.
281
00:23:31,201 --> 00:23:32,581
Quick!
282
00:23:39,460 --> 00:23:41,591
Good evening, gentlemen.
283
00:23:42,588 --> 00:23:44,879
Shall we start with your names?
284
00:23:45,716 --> 00:23:48,974
Clearly you have no idea
who you're dealing with.
285
00:23:49,678 --> 00:23:52,310
That's why I'm starting
with your names.
286
00:23:52,556 --> 00:23:54,518
Actually, would you mind
coming down here?
287
00:23:54,558 --> 00:23:57,520
It's really hard to have
a conversation like this.
288
00:23:58,604 --> 00:24:00,565
I have a better idea.
289
00:24:07,947 --> 00:24:09,953
It's no good,
it won't move, sir.
290
00:24:10,449 --> 00:24:12,453
We'll see about that.
291
00:24:12,493 --> 00:24:15,125
Low-intensity
exploding cotton bud.
292
00:24:18,666 --> 00:24:21,253
That's quite a powerful charge
for such a small space, sir.
293
00:24:21,293 --> 00:24:23,003
Oh, nonsense.
294
00:24:24,964 --> 00:24:27,425
There will just be a slight pop.
295
00:24:35,140 --> 00:24:38,103
Shall we locate the hold and look
for the source of that signal?
296
00:24:38,143 --> 00:24:42,436
I think we should locate the hold and
look for the source of that signal!
297
00:24:45,484 --> 00:24:46,944
Come on!
298
00:24:58,539 --> 00:25:01,126
I'd say we have
our villain, bough!
299
00:25:01,166 --> 00:25:03,627
You need to keep
your voice down, sir.
300
00:25:04,211 --> 00:25:06,502
And we're not going to lose him.
301
00:25:19,727 --> 00:25:22,268
Hand me the sherbet fountain.
302
00:25:24,481 --> 00:25:27,528
Three sucks and the location
transmitter is activated.
303
00:25:27,568 --> 00:25:31,656
This gin palace will show up
as a hostile from 30,000 feet.
304
00:25:39,830 --> 00:25:42,963
This is now an enemy target.
305
00:25:48,088 --> 00:25:50,049
Aniseed balls.
306
00:26:04,855 --> 00:26:08,397
If you'd wanted to kill me, you
would have already done so.
307
00:26:11,528 --> 00:26:13,659
Till we meet again.
308
00:26:21,497 --> 00:26:22,957
Owl
309
00:26:27,252 --> 00:26:29,838
well, that was sooner
than I expected.
310
00:26:40,015 --> 00:26:41,935
Who do you think she is, sir?
311
00:26:41,975 --> 00:26:44,688
Well, if she's not
the owner of that yacht,
312
00:26:44,728 --> 00:26:46,484
then she knows who is.
313
00:26:47,314 --> 00:26:50,105
Either way, she's the key
to this case.
314
00:26:52,152 --> 00:26:55,489
Is it true you were teaching, sir?
Before all this blew up?
315
00:26:56,490 --> 00:26:58,827
If by "teaching" you mean
316
00:26:58,867 --> 00:27:04,127
scouting for potential intelligence
operatives then yes, I was.
317
00:27:05,082 --> 00:27:10,046
I actually got married, sir.
I don't know if you heard.
318
00:27:11,338 --> 00:27:12,638
No.
319
00:27:14,550 --> 00:27:16,178
Yeah, Lydia.
320
00:27:16,218 --> 00:27:17,553
Lovely girl.
321
00:27:21,014 --> 00:27:23,976
You never think about getting
hitched yourself, sir?
322
00:27:24,693 --> 00:27:27,177
This is no life
for a married man, bough.
323
00:27:27,218 --> 00:27:29,372
The danger, the constant travel.
324
00:27:29,429 --> 00:27:30,557
Here you go, sir.
325
00:27:30,776 --> 00:27:33,067
More Lydia's life
than mine, sir.
326
00:27:34,153 --> 00:27:35,738
She's in the Navy, you see.
327
00:27:36,624 --> 00:27:38,084
What, as a cook?
328
00:27:38,407 --> 00:27:41,662
Or some kind of seagoing
secretary or...
329
00:27:41,702 --> 00:27:44,869
Oh, no, sir. She's the captain
of a nuclear submarine.
330
00:27:45,914 --> 00:27:47,545
Oh, right.
331
00:27:50,027 --> 00:27:53,248
Do you think we should get some
petrol for the Aston, sir?
332
00:27:53,881 --> 00:27:58,424
No. An Aston Martin is
surprisingly economical, bough.
333
00:28:00,265 --> 00:28:03,557
Besides, it looks like
we're in business.
334
00:28:17,237 --> 00:28:18,697
Come on.
335
00:28:25,621 --> 00:28:27,624
Looks like an electric car, sir.
336
00:28:27,664 --> 00:28:30,421
Yes, and sounds like
a nose hair trimmer.
337
00:28:32,252 --> 00:28:33,881
A bunch
of triple-a batteries
338
00:28:33,921 --> 00:28:36,837
is no match for old-fashioned
British horsepower.
339
00:28:58,054 --> 00:28:59,398
Look at her cornering.
340
00:28:59,439 --> 00:29:01,761
Seems so effortless, doesn't it, sir?
341
00:29:42,489 --> 00:29:43,659
The what?
342
00:29:43,699 --> 00:29:45,994
The missile, bough, the one
with the tear gas warhead.
343
00:29:46,034 --> 00:29:48,622
But they're just cyclists, sir.
We'll get past in a minute.
344
00:29:48,662 --> 00:29:49,915
They're French cyclists, bough,
345
00:29:49,955 --> 00:29:52,962
and they're obstructing
her majesty's secret service.
346
00:30:00,507 --> 00:30:02,138
Wiper stalk is armed, sir.
347
00:30:11,143 --> 00:30:12,443
Sorry.
348
00:30:12,602 --> 00:30:14,982
Terribly sorry.
We do apologize.
349
00:30:15,022 --> 00:30:17,483
Stop it, bough,
you'll only encourage them.
350
00:30:32,706 --> 00:30:35,668
What are we gonna do now, sir?
Patience, bough.
351
00:30:35,917 --> 00:30:38,922
Driving like that, her battery
will be dead any moment.
352
00:30:38,962 --> 00:30:42,504
And she'll roll
to a humiliating stop.
353
00:31:01,485 --> 00:31:05,369
Bough, it is your job to keep
an eye on the fuel Gauge.
354
00:31:12,746 --> 00:31:15,207
Very impressive driving, Mr...
355
00:31:16,625 --> 00:31:18,005
Golightly.
356
00:31:18,752 --> 00:31:21,168
Basil golightly.
357
00:31:23,256 --> 00:31:26,172
And you're rather useful
yourself, miss...
358
00:31:26,551 --> 00:31:29,888
Bhuletova. Ophelia bhuletova.
359
00:31:31,098 --> 00:31:33,138
And this is...
360
00:31:33,225 --> 00:31:34,525
Colin.
361
00:31:35,852 --> 00:31:38,313
I thought we were
using fake names.
362
00:31:38,939 --> 00:31:40,979
That is a fake name.
363
00:31:43,527 --> 00:31:45,158
Oh, right.
364
00:31:46,863 --> 00:31:49,028
Yes, this is Colin,
365
00:31:49,991 --> 00:31:51,406
and I'm...
366
00:31:55,288 --> 00:31:56,703
"Dasil."
367
00:31:56,873 --> 00:31:58,173
Dasil.
368
00:31:58,291 --> 00:31:59,591
Basil.
369
00:32:00,544 --> 00:32:03,051
Well, basil,
370
00:32:03,380 --> 00:32:05,360
maybe there is a simpler way
of doing this.
371
00:32:05,757 --> 00:32:07,219
Over a drink perhaps?
372
00:32:07,259 --> 00:32:09,679
Well, that would be lovely.
373
00:32:09,719 --> 00:32:13,758
Shall we say the bar at the hotel
de Paris in cagnes-sur-mer?
374
00:32:13,799 --> 00:32:14,890
8:00?
375
00:32:15,747 --> 00:32:18,129
It's a date.
376
00:32:21,940 --> 00:32:23,240
Well,
377
00:32:23,525 --> 00:32:27,989
I think my "running out of
fuel" ruse worked pretty well.
378
00:32:33,428 --> 00:32:35,037
What?
Er, junior doctors.
379
00:32:35,077 --> 00:32:36,757
They've confirmed
they are going on strike,
380
00:32:36,788 --> 00:32:38,628
and the tube drivers
are coming out in support.
381
00:32:38,665 --> 00:32:41,561
Oh, god. Leader of the opposition, has
he come round from his heart surgery?
382
00:32:41,585 --> 00:32:42,671
Yes, prime minister.
383
00:32:42,711 --> 00:32:45,311
Oh, Jesus Christ, when
will something go right for me?
384
00:32:45,352 --> 00:32:46,467
What do you want?
385
00:32:46,732 --> 00:32:49,068
They've hit us again,
prime minister.
386
00:32:49,357 --> 00:32:52,112
Hacked into the central
traffic control system.
387
00:32:52,199 --> 00:32:55,912
Yes, they've turned every
traffic light in London to red.
388
00:32:58,059 --> 00:32:59,974
Where's my bloody drink?
389
00:33:00,303 --> 00:33:02,724
You've got to be joking?
Vodka tonic, no ice, no tonic.
390
00:33:02,765 --> 00:33:05,602
Yes, ma'am.
Oh, and Mr. volta has arrived, ma'am.
391
00:33:09,946 --> 00:33:12,659
Mr. volta,
welcome to downing street.
392
00:33:12,699 --> 00:33:15,871
I have read so much
about this wonderful building.
393
00:33:15,911 --> 00:33:19,499
Is this the stone triple staircase
designed by William Kent?
394
00:33:19,539 --> 00:33:22,794
Yes, it probably is.
I can't swear to it.
395
00:33:22,834 --> 00:33:25,671
- Can we do a quick...
- Needs Photoshop.
396
00:33:26,352 --> 00:33:28,049
This way.
397
00:33:28,089 --> 00:33:29,968
I am horribly late,
I do apologize.
398
00:33:30,008 --> 00:33:32,888
It's the traffic, it's the one
thing I don't love about London.
399
00:33:32,928 --> 00:33:35,390
Yes, well, I must admit
we are having a slight problem
400
00:33:35,430 --> 00:33:37,434
with the lights at the moment.
Nothing major.
401
00:33:37,474 --> 00:33:40,520
If you wanted, I could take a look?
It is kind of what I do.
402
00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:43,273
I think it's actually a little
bit more complex than...
403
00:33:43,313 --> 00:33:46,980
Xander, get a web address for
London's traffic control center.
404
00:33:47,359 --> 00:33:51,368
Here is the login page, Jason.
Do you have a password?
405
00:33:57,827 --> 00:34:00,960
I won't tell if you won't.
Right you are.
406
00:34:01,957 --> 00:34:05,629
Bypassing security.
Security bypassed.
407
00:34:05,669 --> 00:34:06,969
Oh, that's terrific.
408
00:34:08,046 --> 00:34:11,509
Someone is hacking you.
Oh, I don't think so.
409
00:34:11,550 --> 00:34:15,684
Denied service attack.
Yeah, primitive but effective.
410
00:34:16,513 --> 00:34:19,935
You know what we could try,
rerouting all service requests
411
00:34:19,975 --> 00:34:22,391
to our server farm in Nevada.
412
00:34:23,595 --> 00:34:25,180
I...
413
00:34:25,647 --> 00:34:27,566
Rerouting, Jason.
414
00:34:27,606 --> 00:34:29,646
Rerouting complete.
415
00:34:33,530 --> 00:34:35,570
Crikey.
416
00:34:36,908 --> 00:34:40,200
So, what was it you wanted
to talk to me about?
417
00:34:40,245 --> 00:34:42,661
You, Jason.
418
00:34:43,540 --> 00:34:44,960
Get out.
419
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:46,836
I want to talk about you.
420
00:35:01,016 --> 00:35:04,183
Excellent, bough.
Nearly there.
421
00:35:04,769 --> 00:35:06,314
Nearly there.
422
00:35:06,354 --> 00:35:09,646
This is actually
a really nice hotel, bough.
423
00:35:10,108 --> 00:35:13,275
I'm turning to the right.
424
00:35:25,999 --> 00:35:30,130
Shall one of us keep miss bhuletova busy
while the other searches her room, sir?
425
00:35:30,170 --> 00:35:34,463
Good idea, bough.
Alert me if you find anything.
426
00:35:56,321 --> 00:35:57,781
Mr. golightly.
427
00:36:02,370 --> 00:36:03,705
Indeed.
428
00:36:04,423 --> 00:36:07,549
I thought perhaps you weren't coming.
On the contrary.
429
00:36:07,589 --> 00:36:10,505
Wild horses couldn't
keep me away.
430
00:36:10,835 --> 00:36:12,250
Madame? Monsieur?
431
00:36:12,504 --> 00:36:14,715
Evening. What would you like?
432
00:36:15,131 --> 00:36:19,049
I'm feeling a little homesick tonight.
I'll have a Moscow mule.
433
00:36:22,305 --> 00:36:24,934
And I'll have a London...
434
00:36:24,974 --> 00:36:27,265
Lemming, please.
435
00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:30,651
I'm not sure, what...
436
00:36:31,648 --> 00:36:35,281
It's, gin, vodka,
437
00:36:36,444 --> 00:36:38,075
darmagnac,
438
00:36:38,530 --> 00:36:40,115
Sherry,
439
00:36:40,490 --> 00:36:43,281
with just a little bit
of parmesan.
440
00:36:49,165 --> 00:36:52,921
So, what brings you to the
south of France, miss...
441
00:36:52,961 --> 00:36:54,422
Bhilli... bholly...
442
00:36:54,462 --> 00:36:55,968
Bhuletova.
443
00:36:56,172 --> 00:36:57,837
Bhuletova.
444
00:36:57,882 --> 00:36:59,968
I'm just visiting
a friend of mine.
445
00:37:03,930 --> 00:37:07,472
And would this friend
be the owner of the dot calm?
446
00:37:09,519 --> 00:37:11,025
Yes, he would.
447
00:37:16,526 --> 00:37:18,405
And what about you,
448
00:37:18,445 --> 00:37:19,572
basil?
449
00:37:19,612 --> 00:37:22,158
Oh, I'm just here on business.
450
00:37:22,198 --> 00:37:25,490
Although, it's rapidly
turning into pleasure.
451
00:37:29,906 --> 00:37:31,946
I love these.
452
00:37:36,254 --> 00:37:37,760
They're really hot.
453
00:37:46,514 --> 00:37:48,475
Are you all right?
454
00:37:48,600 --> 00:37:50,231
Yes, fine.
455
00:38:06,493 --> 00:38:07,873
Cheers.
456
00:38:08,036 --> 00:38:11,499
I'm not sure I've ever met a
man quite like you, basil.
457
00:38:12,207 --> 00:38:14,839
Let me clear up
the uncertainty for you.
458
00:38:15,168 --> 00:38:16,833
You haven't.
459
00:38:31,063 --> 00:38:32,751
I'm sorry, basil.
460
00:38:32,792 --> 00:38:35,521
I have to get up really
early tomorrow morning.
461
00:38:35,563 --> 00:38:37,399
Oh, that's a shame.
462
00:38:47,659 --> 00:38:49,412
How did you get on, sir?
463
00:38:49,452 --> 00:38:51,804
Oh, gosh, what a wonderful woman, bough.
464
00:38:51,845 --> 00:38:53,333
Wonderful. Right.
465
00:38:53,373 --> 00:38:55,293
Charming. Intelligent.
466
00:38:55,333 --> 00:38:59,130
Lovely sense of humor. And
obviously entirely innocent.
467
00:38:59,170 --> 00:39:02,342
Although, I broke into her room and
she does have three passports, sir.
468
00:39:02,382 --> 00:39:05,515
Romanian, Bulgarian, Russian.
Different name in each.
469
00:39:06,070 --> 00:39:08,524
So she's been married
to three different people.
470
00:39:08,564 --> 00:39:10,651
Not unusual in this day
and age, bough.
471
00:39:10,709 --> 00:39:13,394
And I also found some garroting
wire and two boxes of ammunition.
472
00:39:13,434 --> 00:39:18,569
Well, single woman, traveling
alone, you can't be too careful.
473
00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:22,698
You don't think
she might be a spy, sir?
474
00:39:22,861 --> 00:39:25,072
A spy?
475
00:39:25,530 --> 00:39:28,572
I think I know
what a spy looks like, bough.
476
00:40:14,412 --> 00:40:16,043
On.
477
00:42:29,088 --> 00:42:30,673
Ohl.
478
00:43:25,728 --> 00:43:26,981
Sir?
479
00:43:27,021 --> 00:43:28,321
Sir!
480
00:43:29,357 --> 00:43:31,402
I just got off the phone
to pin London.
481
00:43:31,442 --> 00:43:33,003
He's found out who the
owner of that yacht is.
482
00:43:33,027 --> 00:43:34,072
Jason volta.
483
00:43:34,112 --> 00:43:36,365
The world's most powerful
Internet billionaire, sir!
484
00:43:36,405 --> 00:43:37,825
And he's in London, right now.
485
00:43:37,865 --> 00:43:41,578
The prime minister is personally
negotiating a trade deal with him.
486
00:43:42,286 --> 00:43:44,167
Well, what are we waiting for?
487
00:44:15,111 --> 00:44:18,244
Do you think we might
slow down a little, sir?
488
00:44:18,739 --> 00:44:20,119
What?
489
00:44:21,993 --> 00:44:23,703
Never mind!
490
00:44:29,129 --> 00:44:31,214
With what appears to be
another cyber attack,
491
00:44:31,254 --> 00:44:32,934
pressure is mounting
oh the prime minister.
492
00:44:32,962 --> 00:44:34,966
Every train in england?
Yes, sir.
493
00:44:35,006 --> 00:44:38,389
They're all trying to terminate
at Bristol temple meads.
494
00:44:41,304 --> 00:44:42,390
Morning, sir!
495
00:44:42,430 --> 00:44:44,812
You see this, English?
Yes!
496
00:44:45,433 --> 00:44:46,733
Please.
497
00:44:49,145 --> 00:44:51,649
Tell me you've got something I
can take to the prime minister.
498
00:44:51,689 --> 00:44:54,981
Would the name of the man
responsible do, sir?
499
00:44:55,026 --> 00:44:56,907
Excellent, English, yes.
500
00:44:57,236 --> 00:44:59,822
It's Jason...
501
00:45:09,707 --> 00:45:12,464
Volta, sir. Jason volta.
502
00:45:12,585 --> 00:45:13,713
What?
503
00:45:13,753 --> 00:45:16,382
You're accusing the pm's
knight in shining armor?
504
00:45:16,422 --> 00:45:18,553
I'd need hard evidence.
505
00:45:25,389 --> 00:45:27,020
Which...
506
00:45:27,475 --> 00:45:30,021
Is why agent English
is proposing
507
00:45:30,061 --> 00:45:32,773
a penetration of volta's
country estate in surrey.
508
00:45:32,813 --> 00:45:37,111
Yes, yes, yes, yes...
509
00:45:37,151 --> 00:45:39,783
Well, do what you have
to do, English.
510
00:45:39,862 --> 00:45:42,153
But for god's sake,
be discreet about it.
511
00:45:44,395 --> 00:45:45,730
Good.
512
00:45:52,667 --> 00:45:54,462
"Virtual reality"?
513
00:45:54,502 --> 00:45:55,546
That's right, sir.
514
00:45:55,586 --> 00:45:57,965
P's built a computer model of
the inside of volta's mansion.
515
00:45:58,005 --> 00:45:59,990
When you put on this headset,
it will look,
516
00:46:00,030 --> 00:46:03,012
and feel as if you
are inside the house.
517
00:46:03,052 --> 00:46:06,557
You'll be able to open and close
doors, walk up and down staircases,
518
00:46:06,597 --> 00:46:09,435
completely familiarize
yourself with its layout.
519
00:46:09,475 --> 00:46:13,017
This floor moves in any direction.
So you can walk...
520
00:46:13,980 --> 00:46:17,693
You can walk as far as you
want in the virtual world
521
00:46:18,150 --> 00:46:20,907
without ever actually
leaving this room.
522
00:46:20,987 --> 00:46:22,322
One thing though, sir.
523
00:46:23,239 --> 00:46:24,992
The experience can be
very disorientating.
524
00:46:25,032 --> 00:46:26,285
It's completely immersive
525
00:46:26,325 --> 00:46:29,413
and some people lose all track
of their actual surroundings.
526
00:46:29,453 --> 00:46:32,959
I think we can pretty much
guarantee that's not gonna happen.
527
00:46:32,999 --> 00:46:35,628
I'll just need you to sign the
health and safety releases.
528
00:46:35,668 --> 00:46:38,675
Would you excuse me
while I find an iPad.
529
00:46:39,380 --> 00:46:40,700
Oh, go with him, bough.
530
00:46:40,741 --> 00:46:43,333
If we don't chivvy him
along we'll be here all day.
531
00:47:33,392 --> 00:47:34,692
Watch out!
532
00:48:02,671 --> 00:48:04,757
Door closing.
533
00:48:05,091 --> 00:48:06,722
Going down.
534
00:49:07,153 --> 00:49:08,613
Hey!
535
00:49:23,794 --> 00:49:25,989
I'm sorry, sir, but you're
going to have to leave.
536
00:49:51,739 --> 00:49:54,952
So, we'll shortly be
arriving at admiralty house.
537
00:49:54,992 --> 00:49:59,205
And, er, that actually used to be
Oliver cromwell's own house.
538
00:50:02,166 --> 00:50:05,958
And then we'll be going
to horse guards parade.
539
00:50:08,422 --> 00:50:10,508
Perhaps you'd like
to sit down, sir?
540
00:50:12,968 --> 00:50:15,133
Hey, whoa!
541
00:50:19,475 --> 00:50:21,185
I've got them!
542
00:50:25,314 --> 00:50:27,401
However, the agent
we have on this mission,
543
00:50:27,441 --> 00:50:29,570
is confident he's making
major progress.
544
00:50:29,610 --> 00:50:32,697
And, yes, we have a potential
suspect, he's been identified.
545
00:50:32,905 --> 00:50:37,198
And further covert
investigations are now ongoing.
546
00:50:38,202 --> 00:50:39,622
Yes, quite.
547
00:50:39,662 --> 00:50:42,874
So I expect to have more
to announce on this front
548
00:50:44,333 --> 00:50:45,793
shortly.
549
00:50:59,390 --> 00:51:00,850
On.
550
00:51:01,433 --> 00:51:02,733
Sir?
551
00:51:03,727 --> 00:51:06,774
Is everything all right, sir?
Yes, I've done it, bough.
552
00:51:06,814 --> 00:51:09,856
Child's play. Don't know what
all the fuss was about.
553
00:51:23,163 --> 00:51:25,454
Pleasure to see you again,
prime minister.
554
00:51:26,674 --> 00:51:27,839
It's a hologram.
555
00:51:27,880 --> 00:51:30,153
Apparently you just
speak to it normally.
556
00:51:31,380 --> 00:51:33,592
The pleasure's all mine.
557
00:51:33,632 --> 00:51:37,555
Hate to rush you, but was there
something in particular you needed?
558
00:51:37,595 --> 00:51:40,307
Actually, I was just calling
really to see,
559
00:51:40,347 --> 00:51:44,603
if you had had a chance
to think things over.
560
00:51:44,643 --> 00:51:45,943
I have.
561
00:51:48,147 --> 00:51:51,777
But the thing is, Fiona, I just don't
really do other people's security.
562
00:51:51,817 --> 00:51:55,410
Not that I don't want to.
But your infrastructure is old.
563
00:51:55,450 --> 00:51:57,614
Plus the only way I could keep
you secure in the meantime
564
00:51:57,638 --> 00:52:00,869
would be by storing all your
data on my own servers.
565
00:52:00,909 --> 00:52:03,080
Obviously, that would be...
Yes. Jason,
566
00:52:03,120 --> 00:52:07,379
what I really want to do is announce
this tie-up at the g12 meeting.
567
00:52:07,958 --> 00:52:10,590
Do we have a deal?
568
00:52:19,470 --> 00:52:21,431
Good luck, sir.
569
00:52:39,823 --> 00:52:40,951
Hey.
570
00:52:40,991 --> 00:52:42,036
Sir?
571
00:52:42,076 --> 00:52:44,622
I said to get the chopper ready.
Right there.
572
00:52:44,662 --> 00:52:45,998
Sir. Right away, sir.
573
00:52:46,038 --> 00:52:47,416
Thank you.
574
00:52:47,456 --> 00:52:49,337
- Tyler, come in.
- Copy.
575
00:52:49,458 --> 00:52:51,503
Tyler, can you prepare
the chopper now?
576
00:52:51,543 --> 00:52:54,630
We'll have everything ready for
you in a couple of minutes.
577
00:53:25,661 --> 00:53:28,707
We can't keep meeting
like this, Mr. golightly.
578
00:53:28,747 --> 00:53:30,125
Oh, yes.
579
00:53:30,165 --> 00:53:33,379
Or do you want to end this charade
and tell me your real name?
580
00:53:33,419 --> 00:53:35,255
Go.
581
00:53:37,966 --> 00:53:40,171
There's so much you
don't understand,
582
00:53:40,211 --> 00:53:42,540
about this world
you've got caught up in.
583
00:53:42,845 --> 00:53:46,512
Spare me the idiot act.
You're British secret service.
584
00:53:47,433 --> 00:53:51,476
Impressive work in France, by the way.
When did you realize I was a spy, too?
585
00:53:52,688 --> 00:53:56,276
Oh, pretty much straight away.
586
00:54:00,279 --> 00:54:04,451
I've spent two years undercover.
Simple operation until you showed up.
587
00:54:04,491 --> 00:54:06,531
And I like
to keep things simple.
588
00:54:07,119 --> 00:54:09,284
"Simple" is my middle name.
589
00:54:13,250 --> 00:54:15,415
It would seem you've got
a choice to make.
590
00:54:17,755 --> 00:54:21,968
Temporary suspension of hostilities?
A short-term partnership?
591
00:54:22,843 --> 00:54:24,303
Agreed.
592
00:54:31,977 --> 00:54:34,982
Politicians are even more gullible
than venture capitalists.
593
00:54:35,022 --> 00:54:36,066
That is correct.
594
00:54:36,106 --> 00:54:37,609
Get me a copy
of the target list.
595
00:54:37,649 --> 00:54:40,281
We'll hit them once more
just to be on the safe side.
596
00:54:40,527 --> 00:54:43,741
Give me your phone.
You don't have a phone?
597
00:54:43,781 --> 00:54:46,201
A phone will give anyone
your precise location.
598
00:54:46,241 --> 00:54:48,954
And yet they're so useful
for making phone calls.
599
00:54:48,994 --> 00:54:51,660
Excellent.
I'm not phoning anyone.
600
00:54:52,122 --> 00:54:55,334
I'm gathering evidence.
601
00:54:56,919 --> 00:55:00,841
The target list, Jason.
Four iconic central London landmarks.
602
00:55:00,881 --> 00:55:03,051
Make your selection.
Number three.
603
00:55:03,091 --> 00:55:05,222
The London eye.
604
00:55:06,178 --> 00:55:11,689
This cyber attack could potentially
impact 16,000 visitors.
605
00:55:16,730 --> 00:55:19,521
I found him snooping
around upstairs.
606
00:55:20,317 --> 00:55:22,321
And who are you exactly?
607
00:55:22,361 --> 00:55:24,117
I'm not telling you anything.
608
00:55:25,989 --> 00:55:28,450
Face recognition
software launched.
609
00:55:28,492 --> 00:55:32,250
Johnny English is a geography
teacher from lincolnshire.
610
00:55:32,412 --> 00:55:36,546
Rather heavily armed for a lesson
on European capitals, Mr. English.
611
00:55:38,752 --> 00:55:40,258
Any thoughts, sweetheart?
612
00:55:40,963 --> 00:55:43,174
He's British intelligence.
613
00:55:44,174 --> 00:55:46,386
And there you have I,
two words that have
614
00:55:46,426 --> 00:55:49,638
no right being
in the same sentence together.
615
00:55:49,721 --> 00:55:53,013
Do you really think
I came here alone?
616
00:55:53,100 --> 00:55:56,438
I have a team of crack
operatives out there, right now,
617
00:55:56,478 --> 00:55:58,268
just waiting to strike.
618
00:56:04,444 --> 00:56:05,779
Sir!
619
00:56:08,699 --> 00:56:11,078
What has happened
to this country?
620
00:56:11,118 --> 00:56:13,872
How is it possible
that less than a century ago
621
00:56:13,912 --> 00:56:17,000
the British empire
ruled a quarter of the globe
622
00:56:17,040 --> 00:56:20,924
and now it's relying on someone
623
00:56:21,795 --> 00:56:24,507
like you?
624
00:56:28,760 --> 00:56:30,095
Hey! Stop!
625
00:56:31,138 --> 00:56:32,438
Stop him?
626
00:56:46,069 --> 00:56:47,369
Go.
627
00:56:55,537 --> 00:56:57,247
- Close the gates.
- Yes, sir.
628
00:57:07,841 --> 00:57:09,219
Help! Stop!
629
00:57:09,259 --> 00:57:11,722
Obstacle directly ahead,
Mrs. trattner.
630
00:57:11,762 --> 00:57:15,975
Check your mirrors
and bring the car to a stop.
631
00:57:18,018 --> 00:57:20,024
Er, excuse me. Hey.
632
00:57:21,730 --> 00:57:23,030
Thank you.
633
00:57:26,318 --> 00:57:27,618
Drive!
634
00:57:29,613 --> 00:57:30,657
Excuse me.
635
00:57:30,697 --> 00:57:32,492
What... what do you think
you're doing?
636
00:57:32,532 --> 00:57:35,414
Excuse me!
You are not a qualified instructor.
637
00:57:44,294 --> 00:57:46,590
But what about my instructor?
Turn left.
638
00:57:46,630 --> 00:57:47,965
On.
639
00:57:48,548 --> 00:57:49,883
Turn right.
640
00:57:54,012 --> 00:57:56,849
For future reference,
I'm on your left.
641
00:57:56,890 --> 00:58:00,682
Please, stop.
I can't do this anymore!
642
00:58:04,773 --> 00:58:06,654
I can't see anything now!
643
00:58:06,858 --> 00:58:08,158
Good.
644
00:58:19,538 --> 00:58:21,794
When I say "go,"
turn sharp right.
645
00:58:26,586 --> 00:58:29,127
Three, two, one.
646
00:58:29,339 --> 00:58:30,639
Gol
647
00:58:33,593 --> 00:58:35,555
and straighten up,
straighten up, straighten up.
648
00:58:35,595 --> 00:58:37,101
And go!
649
00:58:37,597 --> 00:58:38,897
Let's go, let's go.
650
00:58:47,399 --> 00:58:49,610
Oh, now just bear left a little.
Good.
651
00:58:49,735 --> 00:58:51,400
Straighten up, straighten up.
652
00:58:55,574 --> 00:58:56,874
Good!
653
00:59:00,704 --> 00:59:03,290
Well, that was very good,
Mrs. trattner.
654
00:59:05,751 --> 00:59:08,258
I think you made
some real progress today.
655
00:59:09,436 --> 00:59:10,939
You're not hearing me, English.
656
00:59:10,987 --> 00:59:13,067
Given the prime minister's
new friendship with volta,
657
00:59:13,107 --> 00:59:14,306
the situation has changed.
658
00:59:14,346 --> 00:59:18,849
But the facts haven't, sir.
That attack is volta's responsibility.
659
00:59:18,889 --> 00:59:21,393
According to you, but not
according to anyone else.
660
00:59:21,433 --> 00:59:23,143
Is he here yet?
661
00:59:23,477 --> 00:59:26,064
Good afternoon, prime minister.
So, this is...
662
00:59:26,104 --> 00:59:29,151
English, prime minister.
Johnny English.
663
00:59:29,191 --> 00:59:31,945
What exactly do you have
to say for yourself?
664
00:59:31,985 --> 00:59:33,989
Rather a lot, actually.
665
00:59:34,029 --> 00:59:37,659
However, men like me don't deal
in prevarication, prime minister,
666
00:59:37,699 --> 00:59:39,411
so let me get
straight to the point.
667
00:59:39,451 --> 00:59:42,748
Jason volta is the man
behind these attacks.
668
00:59:42,788 --> 00:59:45,670
And I have the evidence
to prove it.
669
00:59:46,416 --> 00:59:50,213
I managed to record this
inside volta's country lair.
670
00:59:50,253 --> 00:59:51,840
But I should warn you,
prime minister,
671
00:59:51,880 --> 00:59:56,093
that what you're about to see
is evil incarnate.
672
01:00:01,223 --> 01:00:04,227
Here we are
at Fifi's third birthday!
673
01:00:04,267 --> 01:00:06,808
And it's a very exciting day!
674
01:00:08,313 --> 01:00:11,355
Hip hip, hooray!
Hip hip, hooray!
675
01:00:12,109 --> 01:00:15,572
Happy birthday to you
676
01:00:16,446 --> 01:00:20,580
happy birthday to you
677
01:00:21,660 --> 01:00:22,960
thank you.
678
01:00:23,120 --> 01:00:25,832
Can I just ask,
what is wrong with you?
679
01:00:26,832 --> 01:00:29,252
The country is in a state
of complete chaos.
680
01:00:29,292 --> 01:00:30,504
The press is wetting itself,
681
01:00:30,544 --> 01:00:32,547
and the only person
capable of saving us
682
01:00:32,587 --> 01:00:35,128
is the man you're accusing
of high treason.
683
01:00:35,799 --> 01:00:39,179
I was in the room myself when he
gave the order, prime minister!
684
01:00:39,219 --> 01:00:40,472
But there was a...
685
01:00:40,512 --> 01:00:42,198
Do you know what I was
in the room with, English?
686
01:00:42,222 --> 01:00:43,908
Your file, which I've read,
in its entirety,
687
01:00:43,932 --> 01:00:45,060
and I have a few questions.
688
01:00:45,100 --> 01:00:46,686
Did you or did you not burn
689
01:00:46,726 --> 01:00:49,483
the cote de roc restaurant in
antibes to the ground?
690
01:00:50,438 --> 01:00:52,901
And did you or did you not
fire a guided missile
691
01:00:52,941 --> 01:00:54,856
at a peloton of French cyclists?
692
01:00:55,110 --> 01:00:56,196
Well...
693
01:00:56,236 --> 01:00:57,739
Before commandeering
an open-top bus
694
01:00:57,779 --> 01:00:59,991
and tossing the tour guide
off the top deck,
695
01:01:00,031 --> 01:01:02,343
and then assaulting an 82-year-old
grandmother in a sandwich shop
696
01:01:02,367 --> 01:01:04,663
before battering the employee
of said sandwich shop
697
01:01:04,703 --> 01:01:06,914
with two organic
sourdough baguettes?
698
01:01:08,356 --> 01:01:09,756
I don't remember the...
699
01:01:09,796 --> 01:01:13,179
Do you have any idea
how hard itis to be me?
700
01:01:16,840 --> 01:01:18,927
Do you have even
the foggiest notion
701
01:01:18,967 --> 01:01:22,556
of how virtually impossible
it is to get anything done
702
01:01:22,596 --> 01:01:27,352
in the face of events
and facts and voters
703
01:01:27,392 --> 01:01:30,605
and that Tsunami of tosspots
we call "the national press"?
704
01:01:30,645 --> 01:01:34,025
Finally I get the chance to do
something good for my country,
705
01:01:34,065 --> 01:01:35,402
and what happens?
706
01:01:35,442 --> 01:01:38,324
The universe sends me you.
707
01:01:39,779 --> 01:01:41,366
Well, do you know what I say?
708
01:01:41,406 --> 01:01:44,411
I say, up the universe's arse!
709
01:01:44,451 --> 01:01:46,538
And do you know what else I say?
You're fired.
710
01:01:46,578 --> 01:01:48,914
With immediate effect.
Now get out!
711
01:01:48,997 --> 01:01:53,336
And make sure I never clap eyes
on that imbecile ever again!
712
01:02:35,001 --> 01:02:37,132
What are you doing, sir?
713
01:02:37,921 --> 01:02:41,338
What do you think I'm doing, bough?
I'm going home.
714
01:02:41,424 --> 01:02:43,929
But the prime minister is
finalizing her deal with volta.
715
01:02:43,969 --> 01:02:47,307
She's taking him to the g12 summit
in Scotland as her special guest.
716
01:02:47,354 --> 01:02:48,839
It's over, bough.
717
01:02:48,880 --> 01:02:51,847
And there's absolutely
nothing we can do about it.
718
01:02:52,182 --> 01:02:55,022
But, sir, I have a plan.
719
01:02:55,214 --> 01:02:57,300
Remember my wife?
720
01:03:05,782 --> 01:03:07,367
Clear your baffles.
721
01:03:07,784 --> 01:03:09,621
What?
Mind your head, sir.
722
01:03:09,661 --> 01:03:11,041
Owl
723
01:03:13,832 --> 01:03:15,372
this says we're sinking.
724
01:03:18,745 --> 01:03:21,433
She's old and a little rusty but,
725
01:03:21,489 --> 01:03:24,221
she can put on a hell
of a fireworks display.
726
01:03:40,525 --> 01:03:42,570
Excellent work, commander.
727
01:03:42,610 --> 01:03:45,697
Jeremy has always spoken very
highly of you, agent English.
728
01:03:46,573 --> 01:03:47,873
Who?
729
01:03:49,492 --> 01:03:50,704
On.
730
01:03:50,744 --> 01:03:52,705
Oh, yes, yes.
731
01:03:54,289 --> 01:03:56,459
I'm no fan of the pen
pushers myself, so
732
01:03:56,499 --> 01:03:58,519
when orders came through
stationing us here for the summit,
733
01:03:58,543 --> 01:04:01,255
well, I thought a lift was
the least I could do.
734
01:04:01,296 --> 01:04:03,507
Right, let's get
a move on, bough.
735
01:04:04,632 --> 01:04:06,444
Oh, if you wouldn't mind
keeping your mobiles off
736
01:04:06,468 --> 01:04:07,846
until you're well clear,
gentlemen.
737
01:04:07,886 --> 01:04:10,432
The launch systems on the
missiles are a bit 1980s.
738
01:04:10,472 --> 01:04:13,310
Gets a tad twitchy
around microwave radiation.
739
01:04:13,350 --> 01:04:17,643
No problem there, commander.
We're doing this mission old-school.
740
01:04:27,489 --> 01:04:29,450
This spot is perfect.
741
01:04:30,742 --> 01:04:32,373
Come on.
742
01:04:47,592 --> 01:04:48,636
Sorry, sir.
743
01:04:48,676 --> 01:04:50,432
Come on, come on...
744
01:04:52,013 --> 01:04:53,892
Right, bough.
Our mission here is simple.
745
01:04:53,932 --> 01:04:57,599
Gain access to volta's bedroom
and take him out.
746
01:04:57,727 --> 01:04:59,827
How are you going to get
up there, though, sir?
747
01:05:00,063 --> 01:05:03,651
A walk in the park
for the exoskeleton.
748
01:05:09,823 --> 01:05:12,952
Remotely operated
neoprene bodysuit.
749
01:05:12,992 --> 01:05:16,204
Increases the wearer's
strength 100 times.
750
01:05:16,287 --> 01:05:19,875
Right, power it up.
Stick in the floppy disk and let's go.
751
01:05:27,882 --> 01:05:29,182
Just...
752
01:05:45,358 --> 01:05:46,864
Crikey, sir!
753
01:06:03,001 --> 01:06:04,921
When will the weapon be ready?
754
01:06:04,961 --> 01:06:08,675
As soon as the prime minister
signs the agreement, tonight.
755
01:06:08,715 --> 01:06:10,135
How do I fire it?
756
01:06:10,175 --> 01:06:12,971
Press once and the attack
is launched.
757
01:06:13,011 --> 01:06:16,558
After which, the data
of every g12 country
758
01:06:16,598 --> 01:06:20,145
will be transferred to the
servers onboard the dot calm.
759
01:06:20,185 --> 01:06:21,485
Perfect.
760
01:06:25,356 --> 01:06:26,656
Cheers.
761
01:06:34,782 --> 01:06:38,370
You're working for Russian intelligence
and you have been from the start.
762
01:06:38,578 --> 01:06:41,390
Which is why I've taken an antidote
to the poison you keep in your ring,
763
01:06:41,414 --> 01:06:43,375
and which you've poured
into this drink.
764
01:06:44,834 --> 01:06:47,420
And removed the firing pin
from that pistol.
765
01:06:55,970 --> 01:06:58,183
Everyone has to make a life
for themselves.
766
01:06:58,223 --> 01:07:00,639
It's just sad that yours is
767
01:07:01,434 --> 01:07:02,769
over.
768
01:07:03,728 --> 01:07:07,316
Fresh from my 3D printer.
Hundred percent plastic.
769
01:07:10,235 --> 01:07:12,196
And 100% deadly.
770
01:07:13,071 --> 01:07:15,282
Killing me won't save you.
771
01:07:15,907 --> 01:07:17,207
Don't bet on it.
772
01:07:21,663 --> 01:07:24,209
Seriously,
this cannot be happening.
773
01:07:24,249 --> 01:07:26,414
Oh, but itis.
774
01:07:27,168 --> 01:07:28,628
Drop the gun.
775
01:07:29,254 --> 01:07:30,885
Get your hands in the air.
776
01:07:31,548 --> 01:07:32,848
And you.
777
01:07:40,640 --> 01:07:42,225
There's no time
for this, Johnny.
778
01:07:42,809 --> 01:07:44,312
Oh, it isn't possible.
779
01:07:44,352 --> 01:07:47,148
You cannot be working
with this English idiot!
780
01:07:47,188 --> 01:07:50,901
Save the pillow talk
for your prison cell, volta.
781
01:07:50,942 --> 01:07:52,364
Are you inside, sir?
782
01:07:52,405 --> 01:07:55,076
Yes, yes, bough,
youcan power down.
783
01:07:55,154 --> 01:07:57,285
Everything is under control.
784
01:07:57,949 --> 01:07:59,580
Shut down.
785
01:08:23,850 --> 01:08:26,312
An historic venue
for an historic meeting.
786
01:08:26,352 --> 01:08:30,565
The delegates from each g12 member
nation will have their own priorities...
787
01:08:41,618 --> 01:08:43,454
How do we get in now, sir?
788
01:08:51,919 --> 01:08:53,880
What's the plan?
789
01:09:28,665 --> 01:09:30,375
Hey, you!
790
01:09:30,750 --> 01:09:32,130
Hey!
791
01:09:47,892 --> 01:09:50,979
Thank you very much.
I hope you have everything you need.
792
01:10:07,578 --> 01:10:08,998
Owl
793
01:10:09,038 --> 01:10:10,667
on behalf of the United Kingdom,
794
01:10:10,707 --> 01:10:14,337
may I welcome you here today to
this ancient meeting chamber
795
01:10:14,377 --> 01:10:16,756
where the great Scottish clans
796
01:10:16,796 --> 01:10:20,839
once settled their differences
and forged new alliances.
797
01:10:21,300 --> 01:10:23,554
A place I have
specifically chosen
798
01:10:23,594 --> 01:10:27,102
in order to make
a very special announcement.
799
01:10:27,807 --> 01:10:29,107
Sir?
800
01:10:30,101 --> 01:10:31,414
Are you all right, sir?
801
01:10:31,455 --> 01:10:34,400
No, I'm not all right.
Get me up, bough.
802
01:10:37,775 --> 01:10:41,613
It's very heavy, sir.
I know how heavy it is, bough.
803
01:10:44,240 --> 01:10:46,246
We've got to get
to the conference...
804
01:10:47,869 --> 01:10:50,376
To the conference room
before volta...
805
01:10:51,789 --> 01:10:54,296
Before volta triggers
his weapon.
806
01:10:55,543 --> 01:10:59,631
And so, with my signature
on this agreement...
807
01:11:01,048 --> 01:11:03,177
It gives me great pleasure, oh,
808
01:11:03,217 --> 01:11:08,227
to welcome to you my guest,
my friend, Jason volta.
809
01:11:10,850 --> 01:11:14,439
Standing
by to launch attack, Jason.
810
01:11:14,479 --> 01:11:16,733
Damn it, get me out of this stuff.
Johnny?
811
01:11:16,773 --> 01:11:18,860
I can't see the join, sir.
It's the clasp.
812
01:11:18,900 --> 01:11:22,158
Release the clasp and the top
and the bottom separate.
813
01:11:23,821 --> 01:11:25,908
Must have jammed
when you fell over, sir.
814
01:11:25,948 --> 01:11:28,284
For goodness sake.
Wait. Try this.
815
01:11:34,874 --> 01:11:37,165
That is quite a lot of oil, sir.
816
01:11:37,960 --> 01:11:40,672
Oh, come on!
Come on, come on...
817
01:11:41,506 --> 01:11:45,515
Can you imagine what the world would
look like if it was run by apple?
818
01:11:46,677 --> 01:11:49,389
Or Google? Or...
819
01:11:49,639 --> 01:11:51,019
Me?
820
01:11:53,976 --> 01:11:56,358
Do you think
you'd have failing schools?
821
01:11:56,813 --> 01:11:59,192
Do you think you'd have endless
waiting in your hospitals?
822
01:11:59,232 --> 01:12:00,276
No.
823
01:12:00,316 --> 01:12:03,154
Think you'd have such long
lines in your airports?
824
01:12:03,194 --> 01:12:05,030
- No.
- No.
825
01:12:05,071 --> 01:12:09,577
No, because all of these are
simple data management problems.
826
01:12:09,617 --> 01:12:12,579
And people like me,
we love data.
827
01:12:13,037 --> 01:12:15,999
We live for data.
828
01:12:16,123 --> 01:12:17,919
Ha! My...
829
01:12:17,959 --> 01:12:20,338
Do you know
what I live for, volta?
830
01:12:20,378 --> 01:12:21,422
God.
831
01:12:21,462 --> 01:12:27,094
Eliminating the threat that lying
villains like you pose to this country.
832
01:12:27,134 --> 01:12:28,596
Oh, for god's sake.
833
01:12:28,636 --> 01:12:30,306
Who is he?
834
01:12:30,346 --> 01:12:31,849
Arrest this whack job.
835
01:12:31,889 --> 01:12:35,272
The only person ordering an
arrest around here will be me.
836
01:12:35,768 --> 01:12:38,231
There's no cause for concern,
ladies and gentlemen,
837
01:12:38,271 --> 01:12:43,235
you are now in the capable hands
of her majesty's secret service.
838
01:12:43,276 --> 01:12:48,240
And you, my friend, are in for
an uncomfortable ride.
839
01:13:04,463 --> 01:13:06,094
Where was I?
840
01:13:07,258 --> 01:13:09,298
Living for data.
841
01:13:09,385 --> 01:13:10,765
Exactly.
842
01:13:11,804 --> 01:13:14,937
My algorithms can solve
every one of your problems,
843
01:13:14,978 --> 01:13:16,853
as long as I have one thing.
844
01:13:17,166 --> 01:13:18,546
Control.
845
01:13:18,929 --> 01:13:22,277
And that is what you are about
to give me now.
846
01:13:22,723 --> 01:13:24,935
Jason, I wonder
if you could just clarify...
847
01:13:24,983 --> 01:13:26,363
Shut up.
848
01:13:26,485 --> 01:13:28,025
Now, hold on.
849
01:13:29,242 --> 01:13:31,203
Castle now locked down,
850
01:13:31,985 --> 01:13:34,526
and under your control, Jason.
851
01:13:36,260 --> 01:13:38,722
The agreement this ignoramus
just signed
852
01:13:38,770 --> 01:13:41,525
didn't just give me access
to all the uk's data.
853
01:13:41,596 --> 01:13:45,643
It also gave me access to a
junction box, in north ayrshire
854
01:13:45,764 --> 01:13:48,175
that connects
the entire world wide web.
855
01:13:48,215 --> 01:13:52,334
Disable the fiber-optic cables
in that box and the Internet,
856
01:13:52,375 --> 01:13:54,221
will cease to exist.
857
01:13:55,657 --> 01:13:58,539
Johnny? Are you okay?
858
01:14:04,912 --> 01:14:07,987
Have you got a phone?
We need to call for backup.
859
01:14:08,027 --> 01:14:11,032
There's no time for backup.
I'm going after volta.
860
01:14:11,314 --> 01:14:13,320
And don't lose that one!
861
01:14:13,824 --> 01:14:17,914
Do you understand what it means
if I turn the Internet off?
862
01:14:17,954 --> 01:14:22,588
Cities will go dark.
Planes will fall out of the sky.
863
01:14:23,000 --> 01:14:26,505
Trains will collide.
Law and order will break down
864
01:14:26,545 --> 01:14:29,712
and the world as you know it
will be over.
865
01:14:30,132 --> 01:14:33,048
Show, don't tell, right?
866
01:14:36,555 --> 01:14:38,846
Initiating attack, Jason.
867
01:14:39,475 --> 01:14:41,766
Taking control of junction box.
868
01:14:42,603 --> 01:14:47,772
Suspending Internet and electricity
supply across britain and Europe.
869
01:14:48,526 --> 01:14:51,238
Stage one of attack complete.
870
01:14:51,445 --> 01:14:54,784
Ladies and gentlemen.
I can stop the attack
871
01:14:54,824 --> 01:14:58,371
as long as each of you signs the same
agreement as the prime minister,
872
01:14:58,411 --> 01:15:00,702
giving me complete control.
873
01:15:01,330 --> 01:15:03,040
Your call.
874
01:15:03,582 --> 01:15:06,669
Welcome to British intelligence.
Get me Pegasus!
875
01:15:06,794 --> 01:15:10,837
For mis, press one.
For m16, press two.
876
01:15:10,965 --> 01:15:13,597
For mi7, press three.
877
01:15:19,890 --> 01:15:23,353
Eight g12 signatures
now acquired.
878
01:15:24,103 --> 01:15:26,985
Signal the chopper,
we're almost done here.
879
01:15:27,106 --> 01:15:28,943
For accounts, press five.
880
01:15:28,983 --> 01:15:31,404
For childcare services, press six.
Oh, come on!
881
01:15:31,444 --> 01:15:34,076
For more options, press seven.
882
01:15:36,323 --> 01:15:37,623
What?
883
01:15:38,743 --> 01:15:44,208
Only two further signatures required to
achieve control of g12 nations’ data.
884
01:15:44,749 --> 01:15:46,210
All uk data
885
01:15:46,250 --> 01:15:49,130
now successfully transferred
to the dot calm.
886
01:15:49,170 --> 01:15:52,962
- For Aphrodite, press one.
- For Pegasus, press two.
887
01:15:55,217 --> 01:15:56,262
Oh, my god.
888
01:15:56,302 --> 01:16:00,311
Dive the submarine.
Repeat, dive the submarine.
889
01:16:02,808 --> 01:16:05,021
Director's office?
This is Johnny English.
890
01:16:05,061 --> 01:16:09,358
I need to speak to Pegasus immediately.
It's a national emergency.
891
01:16:09,398 --> 01:16:11,188
One moment, please, sir.
892
01:16:12,860 --> 01:16:13,988
This is hms vengeance.
893
01:16:14,028 --> 01:16:17,742
We have a full launch code.
Repeat, launch code is locked.
894
01:16:17,782 --> 01:16:19,579
Do I have your permission to fire?
895
01:16:19,619 --> 01:16:22,329
Oh, my god.
Could you hold on one moment, please?
896
01:16:22,494 --> 01:16:24,534
Sir? Sirl.
897
01:16:25,409 --> 01:16:27,376
- Hello?
- Hello?
898
01:16:27,416 --> 01:16:30,737
Sir! Hms vengeance here.
Do I have your permission to launch?
899
01:16:30,885 --> 01:16:33,632
What?
Listen, we have to call in an attack.
900
01:16:33,672 --> 01:16:37,487
Did you say "attack," sir?
Yes, an attack. Attack.
901
01:16:38,719 --> 01:16:41,474
General quarters,
we are go for launch.
902
01:16:41,756 --> 01:16:43,759
Target coordinates locked,
commander.
903
01:16:43,940 --> 01:16:45,240
Hello?
904
01:16:46,477 --> 01:16:47,812
Hello?
905
01:16:57,947 --> 01:17:00,784
Commander, the missile
is being redirected.
906
01:17:01,325 --> 01:17:04,287
It seems to be locking on
to a new hostile target.
907
01:17:06,622 --> 01:17:08,287
What's a "sherbet f"?
908
01:17:19,301 --> 01:17:21,717
- Oh, no.
- What was that?
909
01:17:22,972 --> 01:17:26,143
Dot calm appears
to be offline, Jason.
910
01:17:26,183 --> 01:17:29,145
The cyber attack
has been halted.
911
01:17:32,898 --> 01:17:34,529
Did you
912
01:17:34,608 --> 01:17:37,490
make a call quite close
to the submarine, sir?
913
01:17:41,282 --> 01:17:42,662
Because...
914
01:17:43,367 --> 01:17:44,998
You did it, sir!
915
01:17:45,870 --> 01:17:47,910
Mission accomplished!
916
01:17:48,164 --> 01:17:49,954
Well, exactly!
917
01:17:51,417 --> 01:17:54,800
I am re-evaluating
our options, Jason.
918
01:18:01,010 --> 01:18:02,888
Johnny! Johnny!
919
01:18:02,928 --> 01:18:06,058
Volta is getting away!
He's heading for his helicopter!
920
01:18:06,098 --> 01:18:07,683
No, bough.
921
01:18:08,601 --> 01:18:10,562
This one's mine.
922
01:18:43,886 --> 01:18:45,847
Careful, sir. Sir?
923
01:18:56,607 --> 01:18:58,568
Last two steps, sir.
924
01:19:03,364 --> 01:19:05,575
Not so fast, volta!
925
01:19:06,909 --> 01:19:09,291
Is this supposed to scare me,
sir Lancelot?
926
01:19:14,124 --> 01:19:15,664
Take cover, bough.
927
01:19:22,007 --> 01:19:25,845
Don't worry, he's only got six
bullets in that thing.
928
01:19:29,014 --> 01:19:31,020
And, of course,
the thing itself.
929
01:19:33,143 --> 01:19:35,479
You've run out
of options, volta.
930
01:19:36,021 --> 01:19:37,606
Oh, you think you've won?
931
01:19:39,191 --> 01:19:42,528
Rerouting the attack
to our Nevada servers, Jason.
932
01:19:42,861 --> 01:19:47,154
The world's going down, English.
And I'll be the last man standing.
933
01:19:47,491 --> 01:19:50,828
Goodbye, English!
Goodbye, Internet.
934
01:19:51,787 --> 01:19:52,904
I've got it.
935
01:19:52,945 --> 01:19:56,791
That's a gazelle 341 light
attack helicopter.
936
01:19:57,042 --> 01:19:59,755
If we can hack into
its operating system,
937
01:19:59,795 --> 01:20:02,049
we can disable
the drive function.
938
01:20:02,089 --> 01:20:03,389
Here.
939
01:20:06,747 --> 01:20:07,849
Look at you!
940
01:20:07,890 --> 01:20:11,385
You couldn't use that thing
if your life depended on it!
941
01:20:14,018 --> 01:20:15,683
Let's get outta here.
942
01:20:16,103 --> 01:20:18,109
Get this steel bird in the...
943
01:20:22,878 --> 01:20:24,613
Rerouting complete.
944
01:20:24,654 --> 01:20:28,290
Attack data now installed
at our Nevada servers.
945
01:20:28,365 --> 01:20:30,451
Should I initiate?
946
01:20:30,576 --> 01:20:31,876
Jason?
947
01:20:36,248 --> 01:20:38,709
Should I initiate
the new attack?
948
01:20:39,460 --> 01:20:42,006
Initiate this!
949
01:20:42,046 --> 01:20:44,758
Jason.
950
01:20:55,726 --> 01:20:57,146
Well, ladies and gentlemen.
951
01:20:57,186 --> 01:21:01,354
I think we can all agree, that wasn't
quite the evening we were expecting.
952
01:21:06,403 --> 01:21:08,490
I had hoped to present
to you tonight...
953
01:21:08,530 --> 01:21:11,116
Thank you.
A vision of what britain might be.
954
01:21:11,241 --> 01:21:15,039
But, as it happens, the man who
saved us all this evening,
955
01:21:15,079 --> 01:21:18,917
the man who, I might add, I
personally assigned to this case,
956
01:21:19,249 --> 01:21:21,503
has presented us with a
different kind of vision.
957
01:21:21,543 --> 01:21:25,883
A living embodiment, if you like, of
those fundamental British qualities
958
01:21:25,923 --> 01:21:30,512
that have ensured that our
beloved island nation endures.
959
01:21:30,719 --> 01:21:33,682
Courage under fire,
endless ingenuity
960
01:21:33,722 --> 01:21:35,933
and above all, a quiet
961
01:21:36,266 --> 01:21:39,273
unassailable dignity.
962
01:21:58,122 --> 01:21:59,662
Thank you.
963
01:22:06,547 --> 01:22:08,257
All together.
964
01:22:18,851 --> 01:22:20,604
Welcome back, Mr. English.
965
01:22:20,644 --> 01:22:21,855
Thank you, headmaster.
966
01:22:21,895 --> 01:22:23,665
Thank you for agreeing
to be our guest speaker.
967
01:22:23,689 --> 01:22:26,527
Now the governors and staff are all
waiting for us in the rose garden.
968
01:22:26,567 --> 01:22:29,779
Yes, if you could just excuse me
for a few minutes, headmaster.
969
01:22:35,242 --> 01:22:36,542
On.
970
01:22:38,120 --> 01:22:39,415
Morning, sir!
Hello, sir!
971
01:22:39,455 --> 01:22:41,996
Welcome back, sir!
972
01:22:45,752 --> 01:22:47,132
Surprise!
973
01:22:47,796 --> 01:22:49,256
Thank you.
974
01:22:50,174 --> 01:22:52,055
Where's straker?
975
01:22:52,676 --> 01:22:54,680
Here, sir. Good.
976
01:22:54,720 --> 01:22:56,931
And, of course, baggaley.
977
01:22:57,931 --> 01:22:59,075
That was very good.
Very good.
978
01:22:59,099 --> 01:23:01,279
All right, gather round, everyone.
Gather round.
979
01:23:01,894 --> 01:23:04,105
I've got some toys to show you.
980
01:23:04,325 --> 01:23:06,161
There we go.
981
01:23:06,523 --> 01:23:09,109
There we are. There we are.
982
01:23:09,318 --> 01:23:11,447
- Breadstick blowpipe, anyone?
- Me!
983
01:23:11,487 --> 01:23:12,573
There you go.
984
01:23:12,613 --> 01:23:15,154
Granny Smith hand grenade?
985
01:23:15,407 --> 01:23:17,453
And what about a garroting watch?
Here, sir.
986
01:23:17,493 --> 01:23:18,793
There you go.
987
01:23:19,846 --> 01:23:21,665
Here, let me take that.
988
01:23:21,705 --> 01:23:24,291
Don't worry,
it's only a mild sedative.
989
01:23:25,740 --> 01:23:28,531
That's just a five-second fuse.
990
01:23:28,962 --> 01:23:31,675
Yes, all right, we all know
what garroting looks like.
991
01:23:31,715 --> 01:23:33,802
Whenever you're ready,
Mr. English.
992
01:23:33,842 --> 01:23:36,513
Oh, I'm sorry, headmaster,
I'll just be one moment.
993
01:23:36,553 --> 01:23:39,014
Just take those. Thank you.
994
01:23:39,598 --> 01:23:42,935
Put those away, shall we?
There we...
995
01:23:45,354 --> 01:23:47,485
I always did love a jelly baby.
73574
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