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Hi. I'm Michael.
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Paul.
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I hear you're having
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some trouble.
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It's okay.
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It's okay.
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I just...
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don't understand
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why God made me like this.
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He didn't. Trust me.
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Let me tell you something.
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You should never
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define yourself
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by your choices
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or your desires.
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Gay doesn't exist.
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It's a false identity.
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But this isn't my choice.
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Wh-Why would I choose...
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You always have a choice.
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You wanna go
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to heaven, right?
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Yes.
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If you're a moral person,
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then you'll choose
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heterosexuality
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in order to be with God.
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Ohh...
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Hey.
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Hey. Hey.
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Where are you going?
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I'm gonna
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make us breakfast.
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No.
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Yeah. Come on.
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Breakfast is the most important
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part of the day.
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I'll have muffins
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at my meeting.
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Muffin?
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Yeah, muffins.
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Blueberry.
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Mmm.
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Okay. Okay.
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Then we'll do lunch, okay?
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Mm, morning breath.
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Oh, stop it.
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Get off!
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♪♪
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♪♪
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Don't you,
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like, work at XY?
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Yeah. Yeah. That's right.
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'Cause you guys are, like,
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the only cool gay magazine
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out there right now.
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Oh. Yeah, sort of.
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Listen up, queens!
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♪♪
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Matthew Shepard
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was an openly gay man.
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When he went to a Laramie,
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Wyoming bar last week,
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these two suspects
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lured him outside,
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pretending to be gay.
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Now they're charged
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with a vicious attack
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that left Shepard
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hanging on this fence
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for 18 hours
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in freezing temperatures.
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Shepard remained
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on life support
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until this morning
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when he passed away.
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Shepard's family
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is grateful for support
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from around the world.
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They killed him
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because they were afraid.
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And they are afraid
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because of what
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their churches tell them
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and because of what
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they see in movies.
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It's fucking ridiculous.
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I hope they get
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the death penalty.
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You're against
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the death penalty.
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Not in this case.
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That's like being for free
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speech until someone tells you
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something that pisses you off.
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He died a slow death
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after being tied to a fence
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and tortured.
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Exactly. A slow death
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is way more painful.
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They should spend the rest
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of their lives in prison.
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Okay, look. We need
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to move away from labels,
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because they segment,
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and they lead to persecution.
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People don't wanna
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be perceived as gay
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because they're afraid
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they'll end up like Matthew.
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But we are a gay magazine.
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Identifying as gay
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is being part of a community.
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It's recognition,
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it's progress...
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We've been telling the kids
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in the magazine to come out,
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to be proud to be gay.
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They should be proud
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to be themselves.
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Gay and straight
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are just social constructs.
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Oh, God,
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you and your queer theory.
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Class is in session
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with Professor Michael Glatze.
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Shut up.
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Okay. Okay, look.
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We need to put out the message
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that being attracted
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to the same sex
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doesn't define who you are.
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♪♪
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Hey.
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Have you been smoking?
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Just one.
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A small one.
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It was a small cigarette.
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Busted.
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A letter to the editor.
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90% are some poor teen
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with religious parents.
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Fucking
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Christian fundamentalists
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should burn in hell.
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Uh, okay.
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In the meantime,
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there is
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a design competition
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for the Halifax
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International Airport.
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I don't wanna
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move to Halifax.
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I know, but my father wants me
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to head up the bid committee.
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It's huge.
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Halifax is so boring.
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But your hometown
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is boring.
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Is not.
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Olympia?
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Yeah.
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It's all trees
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and fog and coffee.
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And the birthplace
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of the riot grrrl movement
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and where Kurt Cobain
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wrote most of Nevermind.
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Oh, well...
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Yeah.
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In that case...
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But it's unsustainable here
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unless you're in
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the dot-com movement.
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And I don't wanna live
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in a studio on Mission Street
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when we're 50.
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Well, we won't be.
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We'll be in a big mansion
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on a hill.
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Duh.
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May 21st, 2000.
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I used to imagine myself
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growing old
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while living in a house
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atop a hill in the Castro.
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But what's more
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important to me
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is growing old with
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the love of my life, Bennett.
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So, I'm leaving San Francisco
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to live in Halifax, Canada.
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Although I'm sad
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to leave XY magazine,
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I'm excited
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to finally accept
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the speaking offers
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I've been receiving
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this past year
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thanks to my work
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as a writer and activist.
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What a lot of people
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aren't aware of
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is that the terms
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heterosexual and homosexual
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were only introduced
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about 100 years ago.
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As my mother
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used to always say,
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"When you help others,
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you're helping yourself
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as well."
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My goal is to thread a needle
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through the fabric
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of this country
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and stitch together
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the lives of gay kids
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everywhere.
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I know a lot of you
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are balancing religion
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and sexuality, but,
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I mean, come on,
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what God would punish you
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for finding love?
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This is where
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I spread my mom's ashes.
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Oh, my God.
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She's still here.
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Mom, I'm going to stay here
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with you.
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Don't be stubborn.
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You are not skipping
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the semester to be with me.
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I can help you through this.
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I'm going to be fine,
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I told you.
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I feel better.
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Really, Michael.
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I am so proud of you.
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I love you so much.
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I love you.
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I should have stayed.
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Everyone kept saying,
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"Don't worry,
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we're praying for her.
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Don't worry."
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Everyone's going to die.
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No amount of praying
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is ever going to change that.
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Got to get up, yeah.
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Another five minutes.
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I can't believe
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I'm approaching
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my one year anniversary
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00:12:07,995 --> 00:12:07,795
here in Halifax,
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Nova Scotia, Canada.
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The food is amazing,
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especially the sushi.
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The people are friendly, and,
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although the gay community
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is much smaller
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than San Francisco,
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I have some big plans
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to really make an impact.
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What's wrong with you?
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Nothing.
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Look, I have to find
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something else to do.
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I'm just not cut out
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for administrative work.
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Give it some time.
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I have things I want to do.
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I want my own magazine.
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I want something bigger.
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I want to influence people.
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I can't do that here.
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You're being such a shit.
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We made the decision
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to leave San Francisco
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together.
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No, we didn't.
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I mean,
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you had to take this job,
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just like you had to take
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the job that took us
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to San Francisco.
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Which is how you got your job
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at XY,
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so you should be thanking me.
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Is this... this is supposed
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to be Mexican food?
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Why don't you go to the store
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and make your own food?
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Maybe I will.
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You'll have to ask me
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for money, though,
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'cause you don't have any,
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remember?
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Hey.
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You're Mike, right?
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Uhh... yeah.
304
00:14:16,836 --> 00:14:19,048
The "XY Survivor Guide"
305
00:14:19,248 --> 00:14:21,461
really helped me out.
306
00:14:21,503 --> 00:14:24,461
Are you stalking me
307
00:14:24,461 --> 00:14:24,662
or something?
308
00:14:24,862 --> 00:14:26,504
Tyler.
309
00:14:26,546 --> 00:14:28,504
Hi.
310
00:14:28,546 --> 00:14:30,920
I just... I wanted you to know,
311
00:14:30,962 --> 00:14:32,920
I agree with everything
312
00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:32,762
that you say
313
00:14:32,962 --> 00:14:34,778
about gay identity
314
00:14:34,978 --> 00:14:36,795
and sexuality.
315
00:14:36,837 --> 00:14:38,712
I don't want to be put
316
00:14:38,712 --> 00:14:38,553
into a box
317
00:14:38,753 --> 00:14:40,463
just because I'm gay.
318
00:14:40,505 --> 00:14:42,380
You don't want to be
319
00:14:42,380 --> 00:14:42,222
in a box?
320
00:14:42,422 --> 00:14:46,088
No, I don't want to be
321
00:14:46,088 --> 00:14:45,930
in a box.
322
00:14:46,130 --> 00:14:48,754
You're so fucking cute.
323
00:14:48,796 --> 00:14:51,255
Can I buy you a drink?
324
00:14:51,297 --> 00:14:55,338
Don't you have a boyfriend?
325
00:14:55,380 --> 00:14:58,506
He'll think you're cute, too.
326
00:15:39,924 --> 00:15:43,924
♪♪
327
00:15:45,509 --> 00:15:47,551
It's a galaxy.
328
00:15:47,593 --> 00:15:50,342
Um, actually it's a spiral.
329
00:15:50,384 --> 00:15:51,471
It's the only symbol
330
00:15:51,671 --> 00:15:52,758
that means anything.
331
00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:52,600
It's infinite.
332
00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:55,967
No beginning, no end.
333
00:15:56,009 --> 00:15:56,617
There's a beginning,
334
00:15:56,817 --> 00:15:57,426
and there's an end.
335
00:15:57,467 --> 00:15:57,267
All right, well,
336
00:15:57,467 --> 00:15:58,842
there's a more complicated one
337
00:15:58,884 --> 00:16:00,302
that has no beginning
338
00:16:00,302 --> 00:16:00,143
and no end,
339
00:16:00,343 --> 00:16:01,868
but I can't do it
340
00:16:02,068 --> 00:16:03,594
on my pancakes, okay?
341
00:16:05,885 --> 00:16:08,843
How did you guys meet?
342
00:16:08,885 --> 00:16:08,685
How did we meet?
343
00:16:08,885 --> 00:16:12,385
Uhh... San Francisco.
344
00:16:12,427 --> 00:16:13,681
We volunteered at this AIDS
345
00:16:13,881 --> 00:16:15,135
prevention organization.
346
00:16:15,176 --> 00:16:16,595
And we both got arrested
347
00:16:16,636 --> 00:16:16,436
protesting
348
00:16:16,636 --> 00:16:18,677
this Christian Coalition event,
349
00:16:18,719 --> 00:16:18,519
which is how
350
00:16:18,719 --> 00:16:22,094
I knew it was true love.
351
00:16:22,136 --> 00:16:25,428
Awesome.
352
00:16:25,469 --> 00:16:27,052
How about you?
353
00:16:27,094 --> 00:16:28,595
What's your deal?
354
00:16:28,636 --> 00:16:30,511
Who are you?
355
00:16:30,553 --> 00:16:33,470
Uhh... I'm a physics student.
356
00:16:33,512 --> 00:16:34,391
Really?
357
00:16:34,591 --> 00:16:35,470
Yeah.
358
00:16:35,512 --> 00:16:36,641
Physics.
359
00:16:36,841 --> 00:16:37,970
Science.
360
00:16:38,012 --> 00:16:39,720
I want to be an astronaut,
361
00:16:39,761 --> 00:16:39,561
but that's
362
00:16:39,761 --> 00:16:41,637
probably a long shot.
363
00:16:43,845 --> 00:16:44,745
I'd be terrified
364
00:16:44,945 --> 00:16:45,845
to go into space.
365
00:16:45,887 --> 00:16:48,388
It's just, to me,
366
00:16:48,430 --> 00:16:52,263
Earth is just this tiny speck
367
00:16:52,263 --> 00:16:52,463
in the universe,
368
00:16:52,663 --> 00:16:52,105
and humans
369
00:16:52,305 --> 00:16:54,179
have only been around
370
00:16:54,221 --> 00:16:55,017
for just a speck
371
00:16:55,217 --> 00:16:56,013
of that timeline.
372
00:16:56,054 --> 00:16:58,138
So, it's just...
373
00:16:58,179 --> 00:17:00,721
there has to be more to life
374
00:17:00,721 --> 00:17:01,204
than just this,
375
00:17:01,404 --> 00:17:01,888
don't you think?
376
00:17:05,556 --> 00:17:07,389
Totally.
377
00:17:09,847 --> 00:17:11,180
Totally!
378
00:17:13,014 --> 00:17:14,847
So, Tyler was really cute, huh?
379
00:17:16,805 --> 00:17:19,473
Interesting.
380
00:17:19,473 --> 00:17:19,314
Mm-hm.
381
00:17:19,515 --> 00:17:21,764
It is interesting, isn't it?
382
00:17:21,764 --> 00:17:22,810
Very interesting.
383
00:17:23,010 --> 00:17:24,056
You know why?
384
00:17:24,098 --> 00:17:25,973
Because I love you so much...
385
00:17:28,140 --> 00:17:29,931
and I really feel like
386
00:17:29,931 --> 00:17:29,773
we're at a place
387
00:17:29,973 --> 00:17:30,831
in our relationship where
388
00:17:31,031 --> 00:17:31,890
there's more than enough love
389
00:17:31,931 --> 00:17:34,015
to go around,
390
00:17:34,056 --> 00:17:33,856
and I know
391
00:17:34,056 --> 00:17:35,849
that I'm not afraid of that,
392
00:17:35,891 --> 00:17:36,562
and I don't think
393
00:17:36,762 --> 00:17:37,433
that you are, either.
394
00:17:37,474 --> 00:17:38,974
Hmm.
395
00:17:39,016 --> 00:17:40,474
Maybe I am afraid.
396
00:17:40,516 --> 00:17:42,057
Well, you shouldn't be afraid
397
00:17:42,099 --> 00:17:41,899
Why?
398
00:17:42,099 --> 00:17:43,353
because I'm here
399
00:17:43,553 --> 00:17:44,807
to protect you.
400
00:17:52,392 --> 00:17:54,892
Carrot thief.
401
00:17:54,933 --> 00:17:59,975
Here's our very uncool
402
00:17:59,975 --> 00:18:00,175
soccer mom van.
403
00:18:01,808 --> 00:18:04,850
Who are these guys?
404
00:18:04,892 --> 00:18:07,268
July 23rd, 2002...
405
00:18:07,310 --> 00:18:08,105
Road trip.
406
00:18:08,305 --> 00:18:09,101
Road Trip.
407
00:18:09,143 --> 00:18:08,943
I'm driving across America
408
00:18:09,143 --> 00:18:12,643
with Bennett and Tyler
409
00:18:12,684 --> 00:18:14,438
for an exciting new project
410
00:18:14,638 --> 00:18:16,393
I'm working on.
411
00:18:16,435 --> 00:18:18,018
I guess both beds are taken.
412
00:18:18,059 --> 00:18:17,859
I don't know
413
00:18:18,059 --> 00:18:20,059
where you're going to sleep.
414
00:18:20,101 --> 00:18:24,436
Eeny, meeny, miny, moe.
415
00:18:27,060 --> 00:18:26,860
This is the most fun
416
00:18:27,060 --> 00:18:29,977
I've ever had in my whole life.
417
00:18:30,019 --> 00:18:31,273
Really?
418
00:18:31,473 --> 00:18:32,727
No.
419
00:18:32,768 --> 00:18:32,568
We are making a documentary
420
00:18:32,768 --> 00:18:36,977
about queer youth in America
421
00:18:37,019 --> 00:18:36,819
because discrimination
422
00:18:37,019 --> 00:18:40,228
against L-G-B-T youth
423
00:18:40,270 --> 00:18:42,811
must be eliminated.
424
00:18:42,853 --> 00:18:42,653
I just wish people could see
425
00:18:42,853 --> 00:18:46,978
that these kids have faces,
426
00:18:47,020 --> 00:18:46,820
names, and voices
427
00:18:47,020 --> 00:18:51,145
that need to be heard.
428
00:18:51,186 --> 00:18:50,986
Growing up in the Church
429
00:18:51,186 --> 00:18:55,062
and realizing that you're gay
430
00:18:55,104 --> 00:18:57,479
is very difficult.
431
00:18:57,521 --> 00:18:57,321
You know your family
432
00:18:57,521 --> 00:19:01,271
has never talked about it.
433
00:19:01,313 --> 00:19:01,113
I mean, I'm 13
434
00:19:01,313 --> 00:19:02,608
and it's the first time
435
00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:04,104
I've heard the word.
436
00:19:04,146 --> 00:19:08,104
And, when I heard the word
437
00:19:08,104 --> 00:19:09,795
and knew what it was,
438
00:19:09,995 --> 00:19:10,741
then it was like,
439
00:19:10,942 --> 00:19:11,688
"Hey, I know that.
440
00:19:11,730 --> 00:19:14,980
I understand that.
441
00:19:14,980 --> 00:19:14,822
That's me."
442
00:19:15,022 --> 00:19:17,063
My mom, she's trying.
443
00:19:17,105 --> 00:19:17,796
She's, like, really
444
00:19:17,996 --> 00:19:18,688
in the closet about it.
445
00:19:18,730 --> 00:19:20,771
she won't mention it to anybody
446
00:19:20,771 --> 00:19:20,971
or anything like that.
447
00:19:21,171 --> 00:19:21,725
She tries to act
448
00:19:21,925 --> 00:19:22,480
like I'm straight
449
00:19:22,522 --> 00:19:23,380
and expects me to act
450
00:19:23,580 --> 00:19:24,439
like I'm straight
451
00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:24,280
along with her,
452
00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:26,814
but I'm not like that.
453
00:19:26,856 --> 00:19:27,777
And this was probably
454
00:19:27,977 --> 00:19:28,898
more overwhelming
455
00:19:28,939 --> 00:19:31,981
when I tried to kill myself.
456
00:19:32,023 --> 00:19:35,398
But I felt
457
00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:35,240
so invisible
458
00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:38,231
to everyone around me
459
00:19:38,273 --> 00:19:40,148
who was straight.
460
00:19:40,189 --> 00:19:43,649
There are times when I realize
461
00:19:43,690 --> 00:19:46,815
that I'm just as much
462
00:19:46,857 --> 00:19:47,736
a creation of God
463
00:19:47,936 --> 00:19:48,815
as everyone else.
464
00:19:51,982 --> 00:19:54,316
Olympia, Washington.
465
00:19:54,357 --> 00:19:57,857
This is kind of somber, but...
466
00:19:57,899 --> 00:20:00,609
even though I grew up here,
467
00:20:00,650 --> 00:20:03,567
because both my parents
468
00:20:03,609 --> 00:20:05,858
don't live anymore,
469
00:20:05,900 --> 00:20:08,275
it feels like this place
470
00:20:08,275 --> 00:20:08,117
is a part of a past
471
00:20:08,317 --> 00:20:10,233
that doesn't exist anymore.
472
00:20:10,275 --> 00:20:13,567
And I wasn't gay here.
473
00:20:13,609 --> 00:20:14,817
I mean, you couldn't be.
474
00:20:14,859 --> 00:20:16,359
There was this kid
475
00:20:16,359 --> 00:20:16,201
that everyone
476
00:20:16,401 --> 00:20:16,201
just thought way gay
477
00:20:16,401 --> 00:20:19,234
and he had to leave school
478
00:20:19,276 --> 00:20:22,318
'cause he got picked on
479
00:20:22,318 --> 00:20:22,518
so much.
480
00:20:32,193 --> 00:20:31,993
481
00:20:32,193 --> 00:20:33,818
What's it like here?
482
00:20:33,860 --> 00:20:35,776
Liberty is Falwell territory,
483
00:20:35,818 --> 00:20:37,572
so, as you can imagine,
484
00:20:37,772 --> 00:20:39,527
it's not very gay friendly.
485
00:20:42,652 --> 00:20:45,110
So, why do you stay?
486
00:20:45,152 --> 00:20:49,486
Uh...
487
00:20:49,528 --> 00:20:52,403
Well, I don't know, I, umm...
488
00:20:52,445 --> 00:20:53,240
I didn't come out
489
00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:54,236
to friends and family
490
00:20:54,278 --> 00:20:56,194
until last year,
491
00:20:56,236 --> 00:21:00,819
and I have another year
492
00:21:00,819 --> 00:21:01,448
before I graduate.
493
00:21:01,648 --> 00:21:02,279
I'm a Christian.
494
00:21:02,321 --> 00:21:04,195
So...
495
00:21:04,237 --> 00:21:05,241
Which a lot of people
496
00:21:05,441 --> 00:21:06,446
think is impossible,
497
00:21:06,487 --> 00:21:06,287
but I think
498
00:21:06,487 --> 00:21:08,154
that's just as ridiculous
499
00:21:08,195 --> 00:21:11,446
as the anti-gay right, so...
500
00:21:13,737 --> 00:21:17,029
Just a second. Sorry.
501
00:21:17,070 --> 00:21:18,155
Hey, Soph.
502
00:21:22,863 --> 00:21:25,696
We're going to wait with you
503
00:21:25,696 --> 00:21:27,513
until he comes, okay?
504
00:21:27,713 --> 00:21:28,521
Her mother just passed.
505
00:21:28,721 --> 00:21:29,530
Do you mind not filming us?
506
00:21:29,572 --> 00:21:29,372
So awful.
507
00:21:29,572 --> 00:21:33,280
Here, let's pray.
508
00:21:33,322 --> 00:21:36,573
All right, turn it off.
509
00:21:36,615 --> 00:21:39,531
Just give her the strength
510
00:21:39,531 --> 00:21:39,373
to get through
511
00:21:39,573 --> 00:21:41,156
this incredibly difficult time,
512
00:21:41,197 --> 00:21:42,489
and we pray
513
00:21:42,531 --> 00:21:44,281
that you would just
514
00:21:44,281 --> 00:21:44,123
fill us all
515
00:21:44,323 --> 00:21:45,323
with the compassion to know
516
00:21:45,364 --> 00:21:46,947
what she must be going through
517
00:21:46,989 --> 00:21:48,368
because it would be impossible
518
00:21:48,568 --> 00:21:49,948
for us to fully comprehend.
519
00:21:49,990 --> 00:21:51,536
Just show her yourself,
520
00:21:51,736 --> 00:21:53,282
Father, during this time,
521
00:21:53,324 --> 00:21:55,032
and look to you right now,
522
00:21:55,032 --> 00:21:55,232
Father...
523
00:22:15,408 --> 00:22:17,491
Hey.
524
00:22:17,533 --> 00:22:19,991
Babe?
525
00:22:20,033 --> 00:22:22,783
We gotta go. Gotta be there
526
00:22:22,783 --> 00:22:22,983
at 9:30. You ready?
527
00:22:22,783 --> 00:22:22,625
Yeah.
528
00:22:22,825 --> 00:22:22,625
All right.
529
00:22:22,825 --> 00:22:25,034
See you in the car.
530
00:22:29,367 --> 00:22:29,167
531
00:22:29,367 --> 00:22:29,167
I didn't come out
532
00:22:29,367 --> 00:22:31,409
to friends and family
533
00:22:31,451 --> 00:22:33,117
until last year.
534
00:22:33,159 --> 00:22:36,783
I'm a Christian, so...
535
00:22:36,825 --> 00:22:36,625
which a lot of people
536
00:22:36,825 --> 00:22:39,035
think is impossible,
537
00:22:39,076 --> 00:22:38,876
but I think that's
538
00:22:39,076 --> 00:22:40,743
just as ridiculous
539
00:22:40,784 --> 00:22:43,784
as the anti-gay right, so...
540
00:22:46,535 --> 00:22:46,335
541
00:22:46,535 --> 00:22:48,285
When I was young,
542
00:22:48,327 --> 00:22:50,081
I didn't know that there were
543
00:22:50,281 --> 00:22:52,035
people like me.
544
00:22:52,076 --> 00:22:51,876
I felt lost,
545
00:22:52,076 --> 00:22:56,036
alone, and confused.
546
00:22:56,077 --> 00:22:57,498
I never even told my mother,
547
00:22:57,698 --> 00:22:59,119
my best friend,
548
00:22:59,161 --> 00:22:58,961
that I was gay,
549
00:22:59,161 --> 00:23:01,286
because I was afraid
550
00:23:01,328 --> 00:23:02,869
she wouldn't accept me.
551
00:23:02,911 --> 00:23:02,711
That's why
552
00:23:02,911 --> 00:23:05,244
we're on this journey,
553
00:23:05,286 --> 00:23:05,086
to let gay kids
554
00:23:05,286 --> 00:23:09,579
know that they are not alone.
555
00:23:09,621 --> 00:23:09,421
And, you know what?
556
00:23:09,621 --> 00:23:12,579
I learned a lot as well
557
00:23:12,621 --> 00:23:12,421
because we met
558
00:23:12,621 --> 00:23:15,537
so many amazing people
559
00:23:15,579 --> 00:23:15,379
who've heard
560
00:23:15,579 --> 00:23:17,621
their parents or pastors
561
00:23:17,662 --> 00:23:19,287
tell them they're wrong,
562
00:23:19,329 --> 00:23:19,129
and yet they've come
563
00:23:19,329 --> 00:23:21,703
to the realization
564
00:23:21,745 --> 00:23:24,412
they're beautiful, blessed,
565
00:23:24,454 --> 00:23:24,254
and that God loves them
566
00:23:24,454 --> 00:23:28,163
just as they are.
567
00:23:28,204 --> 00:23:28,004
I mean, people who believe
568
00:23:28,204 --> 00:23:32,663
that homosexuality is wrong
569
00:23:32,704 --> 00:23:32,504
are going to change
570
00:23:32,704 --> 00:23:34,580
their minds
571
00:23:34,622 --> 00:23:37,954
thanks to this next generation
572
00:23:37,954 --> 00:23:38,154
because...
573
00:24:41,958 --> 00:24:41,758
Look at the sky.
574
00:24:41,958 --> 00:24:44,584
It is fucking beautiful.
575
00:24:48,043 --> 00:24:50,043
What is this, babe?
576
00:24:50,084 --> 00:24:52,876
Huh?
577
00:24:52,918 --> 00:24:54,751
Oh, it's stupid.
578
00:24:54,792 --> 00:24:56,335
Somebody gave it to me
579
00:24:56,335 --> 00:24:56,176
on the street.
580
00:24:56,376 --> 00:24:59,585
"Where will we go when we die?"
581
00:24:59,627 --> 00:25:02,919
Baby...
582
00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:02,760
You guys,
583
00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:05,210
where will we go when we die?
584
00:25:05,252 --> 00:25:05,052
In 2012,
585
00:25:05,252 --> 00:25:08,710
the world is supposed to end.
586
00:25:08,752 --> 00:25:10,294
That a real thing?
587
00:25:10,336 --> 00:25:12,210
I hope not.
588
00:25:12,252 --> 00:25:14,793
Everyone knows this.
589
00:25:17,670 --> 00:25:17,470
You know,
590
00:25:17,670 --> 00:25:20,295
the Mayan calendar thing,
591
00:25:20,337 --> 00:25:22,170
that's what they drew,
592
00:25:22,170 --> 00:25:22,011
is the moon,
593
00:25:22,211 --> 00:25:23,174
the sun and the moon
594
00:25:23,374 --> 00:25:24,337
is its own thing.
595
00:26:19,881 --> 00:26:19,681
We want to know.
596
00:26:19,881 --> 00:26:22,757
We want to know. Please.
597
00:26:42,175 --> 00:26:46,592
Mike?
598
00:26:46,634 --> 00:26:46,434
You guys go on.
599
00:26:46,634 --> 00:26:48,300
I'll meet you at home.
600
00:26:48,342 --> 00:26:50,425
You okay?
601
00:26:50,467 --> 00:26:51,592
Yeah, I'm fine.
602
00:26:51,634 --> 00:26:54,301
Where are you going?
603
00:26:54,343 --> 00:26:55,509
Michael?
604
00:26:57,676 --> 00:26:59,513
What's that about?
605
00:26:59,713 --> 00:27:00,532
I have absolutely
606
00:27:00,732 --> 00:27:01,551
no earthly idea.
607
00:27:42,304 --> 00:27:46,929
Baby.
608
00:27:46,970 --> 00:27:49,471
I was worried about you today.
609
00:27:49,471 --> 00:27:49,671
What's going on?
610
00:27:55,721 --> 00:27:58,639
It's stupid.
611
00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:00,888
Baby, nothing's stupid.
612
00:28:00,888 --> 00:28:01,088
Tell me what.
613
00:28:04,555 --> 00:28:05,804
Do you think...
614
00:28:08,138 --> 00:28:09,513
when we die...
615
00:28:11,096 --> 00:28:10,896
we just disappear
616
00:28:11,096 --> 00:28:14,097
like we never existed?
617
00:28:18,847 --> 00:28:22,389
No, I don't think that
618
00:28:22,431 --> 00:28:22,231
because I know
619
00:28:22,431 --> 00:28:27,181
that we'll always be together.
620
00:28:27,222 --> 00:28:30,098
Baby.
621
00:28:36,265 --> 00:28:38,390
Baby.
622
00:28:38,432 --> 00:28:40,098
Baby, you okay?
623
00:28:47,350 --> 00:28:49,807
♪♪
624
00:28:58,558 --> 00:29:01,059
Let's pray for her.
625
00:29:01,059 --> 00:29:01,259
Let's pray.
626
00:29:13,808 --> 00:29:17,644
Bennett!
627
00:29:22,393 --> 00:29:24,560
I'm really light-headed.
628
00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:24,402
It's okay.
629
00:29:24,602 --> 00:29:27,143
It's okay, we're almost there.
630
00:29:41,769 --> 00:29:44,019
Okay.
631
00:29:44,061 --> 00:29:43,861
Your heart rate
632
00:29:44,061 --> 00:29:47,811
seems to have returned
633
00:29:47,811 --> 00:29:47,653
back to normal.
634
00:29:47,853 --> 00:29:49,811
Can you check again?
635
00:29:49,853 --> 00:29:51,604
Just because your father
636
00:29:51,604 --> 00:29:52,253
had H-C-M
637
00:29:52,453 --> 00:29:52,678
does not mean
638
00:29:52,878 --> 00:29:53,103
that you have it.
639
00:29:53,145 --> 00:29:52,945
We followed
640
00:29:53,145 --> 00:29:55,520
our chest pain protocol,
641
00:29:55,562 --> 00:29:57,728
and there's nothing abnormal.
642
00:29:57,770 --> 00:30:00,479
You had a panic attack. Okay?
643
00:30:03,271 --> 00:30:04,938
Where's Bennett?
644
00:30:04,979 --> 00:30:06,771
He's in the lobby.
645
00:30:06,812 --> 00:30:10,229
As soon as you're checked out,
646
00:30:10,229 --> 00:30:10,429
you can see him.
647
00:30:10,629 --> 00:30:12,120
All right.
648
00:30:12,320 --> 00:30:13,812
Thank you.
649
00:30:18,104 --> 00:30:19,689
I was 13 years old,
650
00:30:19,730 --> 00:30:19,530
walking along the beach
651
00:30:19,730 --> 00:30:22,105
with my father
652
00:30:22,147 --> 00:30:23,005
when he suddenly collapsed
653
00:30:23,205 --> 00:30:24,064
and died
654
00:30:24,105 --> 00:30:23,905
from an unexpected
655
00:30:24,105 --> 00:30:26,980
heart condition.
656
00:30:29,481 --> 00:30:31,897
If I've inherited his disease,
657
00:30:31,939 --> 00:30:31,739
the same thing
658
00:30:31,939 --> 00:30:35,773
could happen to me.
659
00:30:35,814 --> 00:30:37,898
What's wrong, baby?
660
00:30:37,940 --> 00:30:39,856
It's happening again.
661
00:30:39,898 --> 00:30:39,698
I can feel it.
662
00:30:39,898 --> 00:30:42,482
Baby, the test confirmed...
663
00:30:42,523 --> 00:30:44,106
They don't know.
664
00:30:44,148 --> 00:30:45,649
They don't care.
665
00:30:47,440 --> 00:30:47,240
Now I'm having
666
00:30:47,440 --> 00:30:49,440
heart palpitations
667
00:30:49,482 --> 00:30:51,899
all the time,
668
00:30:51,941 --> 00:30:51,741
and, contrary to what
669
00:30:51,941 --> 00:30:54,399
the doctors keep saying,
670
00:30:54,441 --> 00:30:54,241
I just know
671
00:30:54,441 --> 00:30:56,232
they aren't panic attacks.
672
00:30:58,566 --> 00:30:58,366
After months of fighting
673
00:30:58,566 --> 00:31:00,608
with my insurance,
674
00:31:00,650 --> 00:31:00,450
I was finally allowed
675
00:31:00,650 --> 00:31:02,941
to see a specialist
676
00:31:02,982 --> 00:31:03,944
who could definitely test
677
00:31:04,144 --> 00:31:05,107
whether or not
678
00:31:05,149 --> 00:31:04,949
I inherited
679
00:31:05,149 --> 00:31:08,400
my father's condition.
680
00:31:08,442 --> 00:31:08,242
Now, I have to wait
681
00:31:08,442 --> 00:31:11,775
for the results.
682
00:31:11,816 --> 00:31:13,692
Michael, just come here.
683
00:31:13,692 --> 00:31:14,258
Calm down.
684
00:31:14,458 --> 00:31:15,025
Calm down!
685
00:31:15,067 --> 00:31:14,867
Do you know
686
00:31:15,067 --> 00:31:16,609
what this disease means?
687
00:31:16,651 --> 00:31:16,451
It means I could die
688
00:31:16,651 --> 00:31:19,733
any minute, just drop dead.
689
00:31:19,775 --> 00:31:22,652
You calm down.
690
00:33:54,952 --> 00:33:59,410
♪♪
691
00:34:00,577 --> 00:34:03,203
Doctor Williams? Hi.
692
00:34:25,828 --> 00:34:27,663
Thank you, God.
693
00:34:31,745 --> 00:34:34,829
Thank you, God.
694
00:34:37,246 --> 00:34:37,046
The test confirmed
695
00:34:37,246 --> 00:34:40,288
that I did not inherit
696
00:34:40,330 --> 00:34:42,871
my father's heart condition.
697
00:34:42,913 --> 00:34:42,713
Although it's a massive
698
00:34:42,913 --> 00:34:45,664
sigh of relief,
699
00:34:45,705 --> 00:34:48,746
I keep thinking to myself,
700
00:34:48,788 --> 00:34:48,588
if I was really
701
00:34:48,788 --> 00:34:51,623
just having panic attacks,
702
00:34:51,665 --> 00:34:54,039
then what's wrong with me?
703
00:34:54,081 --> 00:34:55,956
What am I afraid of?
704
00:35:01,623 --> 00:35:01,423
All I know is that, when faced
705
00:35:01,623 --> 00:35:04,623
with your own death,
706
00:35:04,665 --> 00:35:04,465
it reminds you
707
00:35:04,665 --> 00:35:07,540
of what's important in life,
708
00:35:07,582 --> 00:35:07,382
and, for me,
709
00:35:07,582 --> 00:35:11,290
that's helping other people.
710
00:35:14,040 --> 00:35:13,840
So I've decided
711
00:35:14,040 --> 00:35:17,332
to start my own magazine.
712
00:35:17,374 --> 00:35:20,207
I'm calling it YGA,
713
00:35:20,248 --> 00:35:22,083
Young Gay Americans.
714
00:35:22,124 --> 00:35:23,832
It's gonna be the biggest
715
00:35:23,874 --> 00:35:23,674
and most sophisticated
716
00:35:23,874 --> 00:35:26,208
magazine aimed
717
00:35:26,249 --> 00:35:26,049
at improving the lives
718
00:35:26,249 --> 00:35:31,083
of L-G-B-T youth.
719
00:36:45,879 --> 00:36:49,921
What is this? What is this?
720
00:36:49,963 --> 00:36:54,004
Oh, my Go...
721
00:36:54,004 --> 00:36:53,846
Hi.
722
00:36:54,046 --> 00:36:53,846
You didn't.
723
00:36:54,046 --> 00:36:57,964
I knew you wanted one, baby.
724
00:37:07,755 --> 00:37:13,131
What are we going to call you?
725
00:37:13,173 --> 00:37:17,090
Ollie. Ollie, heel.
726
00:37:17,131 --> 00:37:16,931
I've been thinking
727
00:37:17,131 --> 00:37:20,590
about the next issue of YGA,
728
00:37:20,632 --> 00:37:21,844
and I think we need to address
729
00:37:22,044 --> 00:37:23,256
this whole Christianity thing.
730
00:37:23,298 --> 00:37:24,923
What do you mean?
731
00:37:24,965 --> 00:37:24,765
People think that gays
732
00:37:24,965 --> 00:37:28,591
and Christians are enemies.
733
00:37:28,633 --> 00:37:29,866
We've met so many people
734
00:37:30,066 --> 00:37:31,299
who've managed to balance
735
00:37:31,341 --> 00:37:31,141
their faith
736
00:37:31,341 --> 00:37:33,840
and their sexuality.
737
00:37:33,882 --> 00:37:34,574
But we've also met
738
00:37:34,774 --> 00:37:35,466
so many people
739
00:37:35,508 --> 00:37:37,716
whose parents and churches
740
00:37:37,716 --> 00:37:37,557
tell them
741
00:37:37,757 --> 00:37:39,675
they're going to burn
742
00:37:39,675 --> 00:37:39,575
in hell.
743
00:37:39,675 --> 00:37:39,516
Yeah,
744
00:37:39,716 --> 00:37:39,516
which is why
745
00:37:39,716 --> 00:37:41,220
we should address it
746
00:37:41,420 --> 00:37:42,924
in the magazine.
747
00:37:42,966 --> 00:37:44,408
The whole, "You're gay,
748
00:37:44,608 --> 00:37:46,050
you're going to hell" myth
749
00:37:46,092 --> 00:37:49,509
was started by mistranslations
750
00:37:49,509 --> 00:37:49,709
and misinterpretations
751
00:37:49,909 --> 00:37:51,758
of the Bible.
752
00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:51,600
God doesn't care what
753
00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:55,175
your sexual orientation is.
754
00:37:55,217 --> 00:37:56,908
And the one thing
755
00:37:57,108 --> 00:37:58,800
that the gay movement
756
00:37:58,841 --> 00:37:58,641
doesn't understand
757
00:37:58,841 --> 00:38:01,343
that I think Christianity does
758
00:38:01,385 --> 00:38:03,593
is that...
759
00:38:03,635 --> 00:38:05,014
not everyone wants to be
760
00:38:05,214 --> 00:38:06,593
a part of the sub culture.
761
00:38:08,218 --> 00:38:11,134
I'm sorry, what did you do
762
00:38:11,134 --> 00:38:11,334
with my boyfriend?
763
00:38:11,534 --> 00:38:10,976
Shut up.
764
00:38:11,176 --> 00:38:14,635
I'm not going to write,
765
00:38:14,635 --> 00:38:14,835
like...
766
00:38:17,219 --> 00:38:19,885
Gospel according to Michael
767
00:38:19,885 --> 00:38:20,085
or something.
768
00:38:23,969 --> 00:38:23,769
It might seem strange
769
00:38:23,969 --> 00:38:27,219
for a gay youth magazine
770
00:38:27,260 --> 00:38:28,806
to dedicate an entire issue
771
00:38:29,006 --> 00:38:30,552
to religion,
772
00:38:30,594 --> 00:38:32,640
but it's too important
773
00:38:32,840 --> 00:38:34,886
to ignore.
774
00:38:34,928 --> 00:38:34,728
When my parents died,
775
00:38:34,928 --> 00:38:38,220
I blamed God.
776
00:38:38,261 --> 00:38:39,928
When I came out,
777
00:38:39,970 --> 00:38:39,770
I distanced myself
778
00:38:39,970 --> 00:38:44,053
even further from religion.
779
00:38:44,095 --> 00:38:43,895
You see,
780
00:38:44,095 --> 00:38:47,053
I thought I was too smart
781
00:38:47,095 --> 00:38:48,887
to believe in God,
782
00:38:48,929 --> 00:38:48,729
that He
783
00:38:48,929 --> 00:38:52,179
was only for the needy.
784
00:38:52,221 --> 00:38:52,021
But, after
785
00:38:52,221 --> 00:38:54,887
a recent health scare,
786
00:38:54,929 --> 00:38:54,729
I felt this nudging
787
00:38:54,929 --> 00:38:59,221
in the back of my mind...
788
00:38:59,262 --> 00:39:02,554
the presence of God.
789
00:39:02,596 --> 00:39:04,180
And, you know what?
790
00:39:04,222 --> 00:39:09,013
I was no longer afraid.
791
00:39:09,055 --> 00:39:08,855
Some religious figures
792
00:39:09,055 --> 00:39:12,055
spout hateful rhetoric
793
00:39:12,097 --> 00:39:11,897
and try to force
794
00:39:12,097 --> 00:39:15,805
a monopoly on the truth.
795
00:39:15,846 --> 00:39:19,097
But the only truth is love.
796
00:39:19,138 --> 00:39:23,515
The only sin is denying love.
797
00:39:23,556 --> 00:39:25,847
Stop hating.
798
00:39:25,889 --> 00:39:28,473
Start loving.
799
00:39:38,224 --> 00:39:40,182
You gonna join us?
800
00:39:40,224 --> 00:39:40,024
Uh, yeah.
801
00:39:40,224 --> 00:39:42,890
Just one second.
802
00:39:48,057 --> 00:39:50,474
What?
803
00:39:50,516 --> 00:39:50,316
Uh, you're really
804
00:39:50,516 --> 00:39:52,725
combing through that thing,
805
00:39:52,725 --> 00:39:52,925
aren't you?
806
00:39:53,766 --> 00:39:55,433
Look, my whole life,
807
00:39:55,475 --> 00:39:56,375
I thought the Bible
808
00:39:56,575 --> 00:39:57,475
was full of hate,
809
00:39:57,517 --> 00:39:59,891
and it's not.
810
00:39:59,933 --> 00:40:01,062
There's a lot
811
00:40:01,262 --> 00:40:02,392
of love in here.
812
00:40:02,433 --> 00:40:04,458
So, your interest in the Bible
813
00:40:04,658 --> 00:40:06,684
is more than just research?
814
00:40:06,725 --> 00:40:08,417
Well, there's a lot
815
00:40:08,617 --> 00:40:09,363
of Christian roots
816
00:40:09,563 --> 00:40:10,309
in my family...
817
00:40:10,351 --> 00:40:12,643
my mom, my aunts, and...
818
00:40:12,685 --> 00:40:14,643
Just curious.
819
00:40:14,685 --> 00:40:17,809
Your aunts disowned you
820
00:40:17,809 --> 00:40:18,438
when you came out.
821
00:40:18,638 --> 00:40:19,267
That's not family.
822
00:40:19,309 --> 00:40:19,109
I'm all
823
00:40:19,309 --> 00:40:21,267
for curiosity, but...
824
00:40:21,309 --> 00:40:21,109
Look, I just feel
825
00:40:21,309 --> 00:40:25,185
like something saved me,
826
00:40:25,227 --> 00:40:25,027
shook me,
827
00:40:25,227 --> 00:40:27,477
and woke me up.
828
00:40:28,977 --> 00:40:31,686
And that someone is God?
829
00:40:33,977 --> 00:40:36,560
Mike, He didn't save you,
830
00:40:36,602 --> 00:40:36,402
because you
831
00:40:36,602 --> 00:40:38,810
were never dying.
832
00:40:41,728 --> 00:40:43,561
Okay.
833
00:40:47,103 --> 00:40:49,144
"Whoever finds their life
834
00:40:49,144 --> 00:40:48,986
will lose it,
835
00:40:49,186 --> 00:40:50,836
and whoever loses their life
836
00:40:51,036 --> 00:40:52,687
for my sake will find it."
837
00:40:55,521 --> 00:40:59,354
"Whoever finds their life
838
00:40:59,354 --> 00:40:59,196
will lose it,
839
00:40:59,396 --> 00:41:01,754
and whoever loses their life
840
00:41:01,954 --> 00:41:04,312
for my sake will find it."
841
00:41:04,354 --> 00:41:04,154
"Whoever finds
842
00:41:04,354 --> 00:41:06,729
their life will lose it,
843
00:41:06,770 --> 00:41:08,566
and whoever loses their life
844
00:41:08,766 --> 00:41:10,562
for my sake will find it."
845
00:41:17,355 --> 00:41:17,155
Don't see many people
846
00:41:17,355 --> 00:41:19,730
flaunting that out in the open.
847
00:41:19,771 --> 00:41:22,105
Oh...
848
00:41:22,146 --> 00:41:21,946
I've seen you
849
00:41:22,146 --> 00:41:24,313
reading out here before,
850
00:41:24,355 --> 00:41:24,155
and I thought maybe
851
00:41:24,355 --> 00:41:27,523
you'd wanna come to my church.
852
00:41:27,564 --> 00:41:29,606
Any Sunday.
853
00:41:29,648 --> 00:41:31,939
Just to check it out.
854
00:41:31,981 --> 00:41:36,106
See what the Mormon religion
855
00:41:36,106 --> 00:41:35,947
has to offer.
856
00:41:36,147 --> 00:41:38,731
The Gospel teaches us
857
00:41:38,772 --> 00:41:38,572
that we are
858
00:41:38,772 --> 00:41:41,855
the spirit children
859
00:41:41,897 --> 00:41:43,898
of heavenly parents.
860
00:41:43,940 --> 00:41:46,940
Now, many people ask,
861
00:41:46,982 --> 00:41:46,782
are we like
862
00:41:46,982 --> 00:41:50,357
other Christians?
863
00:41:50,399 --> 00:41:52,357
Why, of course we are.
864
00:41:52,399 --> 00:41:52,199
We believe
865
00:41:52,399 --> 00:41:54,773
in Jesus Christ,
866
00:41:54,815 --> 00:41:54,615
and we believe
867
00:41:54,815 --> 00:41:57,856
in life after death.
868
00:41:57,898 --> 00:42:03,316
And everyone is welcome
869
00:42:03,316 --> 00:42:05,091
at the LDS church.
870
00:42:05,291 --> 00:42:06,078
Christ's atonement
871
00:42:06,278 --> 00:42:03,158
allows mankind
872
00:42:03,358 --> 00:42:07,066
to be safe from their sins,
873
00:42:07,108 --> 00:42:08,945
and to return to live with God
874
00:42:09,145 --> 00:42:10,983
and their loved ones in heaven.
875
00:42:11,024 --> 00:42:12,486
Uh, did you grow up
876
00:42:12,686 --> 00:42:14,149
with any kind of faith?
877
00:42:14,191 --> 00:42:13,991
Not really.
878
00:42:14,191 --> 00:42:17,025
My mother was Christian,
879
00:42:17,067 --> 00:42:18,571
but she didn't really take
880
00:42:18,771 --> 00:42:20,275
me or my sister to church.
881
00:42:20,317 --> 00:42:20,117
And my father
882
00:42:20,317 --> 00:42:23,359
was a Berkeley hippie
883
00:42:23,401 --> 00:42:24,905
kind of agnostic
884
00:42:25,105 --> 00:42:26,609
or even atheist.
885
00:42:26,651 --> 00:42:26,451
They were
886
00:42:26,651 --> 00:42:28,609
very good people,
887
00:42:28,651 --> 00:42:33,443
and I know I'll see them
888
00:42:33,443 --> 00:42:34,572
again in heaven.
889
00:42:34,772 --> 00:42:35,901
My mom passed away
890
00:42:35,901 --> 00:42:36,676
as well,
891
00:42:36,876 --> 00:42:35,743
so I know
892
00:42:35,943 --> 00:42:37,652
how hard that is.
893
00:42:37,694 --> 00:42:37,494
I was...
894
00:42:37,694 --> 00:42:40,110
I was so afraid,
895
00:42:40,151 --> 00:42:42,360
and angry, you know?
896
00:42:42,402 --> 00:42:44,402
Yeah, me too.
897
00:42:44,443 --> 00:42:45,385
Um, it's really hard
898
00:42:45,585 --> 00:42:46,528
to deal with death
899
00:42:46,569 --> 00:42:48,114
when you don't know
900
00:42:48,314 --> 00:42:49,860
where you're going.
901
00:42:49,902 --> 00:42:51,281
But once you do,
902
00:42:51,481 --> 00:42:52,860
then you have peace,
903
00:42:52,902 --> 00:42:52,702
and you realize
904
00:42:52,902 --> 00:42:56,152
that God's not to blame.
905
00:42:56,194 --> 00:42:57,052
Right.
906
00:42:57,252 --> 00:42:58,111
Yeah.
907
00:42:59,403 --> 00:43:02,112
Katherine.
908
00:43:02,153 --> 00:43:04,737
Nice to meet you.
909
00:43:04,778 --> 00:43:06,445
You too.
910
00:43:09,278 --> 00:43:11,737
She's single, FYI.
911
00:43:11,778 --> 00:43:14,070
FY...
912
00:43:14,112 --> 00:43:14,907
What, you think
913
00:43:15,107 --> 00:43:15,903
she likes me?
914
00:43:15,945 --> 00:43:15,745
Yeah. Yeah.
915
00:43:15,945 --> 00:43:18,571
It seemed like it.
916
00:43:18,613 --> 00:43:19,825
But don't worry.
917
00:43:20,025 --> 00:43:20,531
There's plenty
918
00:43:20,731 --> 00:43:21,238
of single ladies
919
00:43:21,279 --> 00:43:24,196
looking for a husband.
920
00:43:24,196 --> 00:43:24,038
Oh...
921
00:43:24,238 --> 00:43:26,138
I wasn't even thinking
922
00:43:26,338 --> 00:43:28,238
about that kind of thing.
923
00:43:28,279 --> 00:43:29,783
Oh, well, maybe it's
924
00:43:29,983 --> 00:43:30,635
something you should
925
00:43:30,835 --> 00:43:31,488
start thinking about.
926
00:43:31,530 --> 00:43:32,804
I can get you in touch
927
00:43:33,004 --> 00:43:34,280
with her if you want.
928
00:43:35,572 --> 00:43:37,364
Oh, um...
929
00:43:37,406 --> 00:43:39,656
If you're interested.
930
00:43:41,780 --> 00:43:43,447
Sure. Um, I don't know.
931
00:43:43,447 --> 00:43:43,289
Yeah?
932
00:43:43,489 --> 00:43:44,451
Okay. Whatever.
933
00:43:44,651 --> 00:43:45,614
Yeah. Okay.
934
00:43:45,656 --> 00:43:46,451
All right.
935
00:43:46,651 --> 00:43:47,447
Okay. Thanks.
936
00:43:47,489 --> 00:43:48,305
Embarrassing me
937
00:43:48,505 --> 00:43:49,322
a little bit.
938
00:44:05,865 --> 00:44:08,574
♪♪
939
00:44:14,991 --> 00:44:14,791
940
00:44:14,991 --> 00:44:14,791
Welcome back
941
00:44:14,991 --> 00:44:16,949
to New Beginnings,
942
00:44:16,991 --> 00:44:16,791
and thank you for listening
943
00:44:16,991 --> 00:44:19,574
to our continued conversation
944
00:44:19,616 --> 00:44:19,416
about the true path
945
00:44:19,616 --> 00:44:21,992
to heaven.
946
00:44:22,033 --> 00:44:21,833
Dr. Nikolosa, how would you
947
00:44:22,033 --> 00:44:25,325
respond to other Christians
948
00:44:25,367 --> 00:44:25,167
who disagree
949
00:44:25,367 --> 00:44:27,575
with your angle?
950
00:44:27,617 --> 00:44:27,417
951
00:44:27,617 --> 00:44:29,183
Look, all I'm trying to do
952
00:44:29,383 --> 00:44:30,950
is help people.
953
00:44:30,992 --> 00:44:32,992
It just pains me so much
954
00:44:33,033 --> 00:44:32,833
when I hear
955
00:44:33,033 --> 00:44:32,833
so-called Christians
956
00:44:33,033 --> 00:44:35,409
side with the left
957
00:44:35,450 --> 00:44:35,250
on issues
958
00:44:35,450 --> 00:44:37,784
such as homosexuality.
959
00:44:37,826 --> 00:44:37,626
Now, I'm not
960
00:44:37,826 --> 00:44:40,576
condoning hate.
961
00:44:40,618 --> 00:44:40,418
In fact,
962
00:44:40,618 --> 00:44:43,410
this is about love.
963
00:44:43,451 --> 00:44:43,251
Choosing a gay identity
964
00:44:43,451 --> 00:44:45,618
will condemn you
965
00:44:45,660 --> 00:44:45,460
to an eternity
966
00:44:45,660 --> 00:44:47,618
of suffering,
967
00:44:47,660 --> 00:44:48,976
and I wanna save people
968
00:44:49,176 --> 00:44:50,493
from that.
969
00:44:50,535 --> 00:44:50,335
Whether it's abortion
970
00:44:50,535 --> 00:44:53,076
or adultery
971
00:44:53,118 --> 00:44:52,918
or accepting religions
972
00:44:53,118 --> 00:44:56,452
other than Christianity,
973
00:44:56,494 --> 00:44:58,744
you must obey God's law,
974
00:44:58,785 --> 00:44:58,585
or you will not be allowed
975
00:44:58,785 --> 00:45:01,494
into His kingdom.
976
00:45:04,285 --> 00:45:06,494
♪♪
977
00:45:28,287 --> 00:45:30,954
♪♪
978
00:45:41,497 --> 00:45:42,376
I'm not saying
979
00:45:42,576 --> 00:45:43,455
that it's...
980
00:45:43,497 --> 00:45:45,539
I'm not saying that it's wrong,
981
00:45:45,539 --> 00:45:45,739
I'm just saying that
982
00:45:45,939 --> 00:45:45,380
over the course
983
00:45:45,580 --> 00:45:47,622
of thousands of years,
984
00:45:47,664 --> 00:45:49,397
people with an agenda
985
00:45:49,597 --> 00:45:51,330
have made Christianity
986
00:45:51,330 --> 00:45:51,172
what it is today.
987
00:45:51,372 --> 00:45:54,497
Yeah, but the original message
988
00:45:54,497 --> 00:45:55,418
is still the same.
989
00:45:55,618 --> 00:45:56,539
It's about love.
990
00:45:58,914 --> 00:45:58,714
You know, I would've
991
00:45:58,914 --> 00:46:01,872
never pegged you as a Buddhist.
992
00:46:01,914 --> 00:46:05,248
Why? 'Cause I don't look
993
00:46:05,248 --> 00:46:05,448
a certain way?
994
00:46:05,648 --> 00:46:07,498
No, I...
995
00:46:07,540 --> 00:46:09,231
I don't know why
996
00:46:09,431 --> 00:46:10,177
I just said that.
997
00:46:10,377 --> 00:46:11,123
I'm just kidding you.
998
00:46:11,164 --> 00:46:10,964
Meditation...
999
00:46:11,164 --> 00:46:14,332
People get weird in their head
1000
00:46:14,332 --> 00:46:15,253
about meditation.
1001
00:46:15,453 --> 00:46:16,374
They think it's weird
1002
00:46:16,374 --> 00:46:16,216
or hippie...
1003
00:46:16,416 --> 00:46:16,216
I think it's about
1004
00:46:16,416 --> 00:46:20,457
developing mindfulness,
1005
00:46:20,457 --> 00:46:20,299
you know?
1006
00:46:20,499 --> 00:46:21,378
It's about living
1007
00:46:21,578 --> 00:46:22,457
moment to moment.
1008
00:46:22,499 --> 00:46:22,299
And at a deeper level,
1009
00:46:22,499 --> 00:46:26,457
it's about knowing yourself.
1010
00:46:26,499 --> 00:46:26,299
That's why
1011
00:46:26,499 --> 00:46:28,107
I started volunteering
1012
00:46:28,307 --> 00:46:29,916
at the Buddhist Center.
1013
00:46:29,958 --> 00:46:32,583
They have classes on Friday.
1014
00:46:32,583 --> 00:46:32,425
You should come.
1015
00:46:32,625 --> 00:46:34,608
I have to go out of town
1016
00:46:34,808 --> 00:46:36,791
for this speaking thing.
1017
00:46:36,833 --> 00:46:36,633
What kind
1018
00:46:36,833 --> 00:46:39,166
of speaking thing?
1019
00:46:39,208 --> 00:46:41,958
It's about gay youth
1020
00:46:41,958 --> 00:46:42,879
in America.
1021
00:46:43,079 --> 00:46:41,800
No way.
1022
00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:44,000
That's awesome.
1023
00:47:10,210 --> 00:47:11,960
1024
00:47:25,128 --> 00:47:27,211
Welcome to our very first panel
1025
00:47:27,253 --> 00:47:29,211
on being young and gay
1026
00:47:29,211 --> 00:47:29,053
in America.
1027
00:47:29,253 --> 00:47:31,877
Joining us is Judy Shepard,
1028
00:47:31,919 --> 00:47:31,719
president of
1029
00:47:31,919 --> 00:47:34,504
the Matthew Shepard Foundation,
1030
00:47:34,546 --> 00:47:37,087
dedicated to working
1031
00:47:37,087 --> 00:47:36,929
towards causes
1032
00:47:37,129 --> 00:47:38,383
championed by her son,
1033
00:47:38,583 --> 00:47:39,837
Matthew, during his life.
1034
00:47:39,878 --> 00:47:41,878
Thank you for joining us.
1035
00:47:46,920 --> 00:47:46,720
Michael Glatze,
1036
00:47:46,920 --> 00:47:50,547
former editor of XY magazine,
1037
00:47:50,588 --> 00:47:52,696
recipient of Equality Forum's
1038
00:47:52,896 --> 00:47:55,005
National Role Model Award
1039
00:47:55,046 --> 00:47:54,846
as well as
1040
00:47:55,046 --> 00:47:57,338
a LAMBDA's Literary Award
1041
00:47:57,380 --> 00:47:59,338
for XY's Survival Guide,
1042
00:47:59,380 --> 00:47:59,180
participant in the award-winning
1043
00:47:59,380 --> 00:48:03,463
documentary Jim in Bold,
1044
00:48:03,505 --> 00:48:03,305
and cofounder
1045
00:48:03,505 --> 00:48:05,797
of Young Gay Americans,
1046
00:48:05,839 --> 00:48:05,639
which is now
1047
00:48:05,839 --> 00:48:07,797
a full-fledged magazine.
1048
00:48:14,589 --> 00:48:18,423
What does being gay
1049
00:48:18,423 --> 00:48:18,264
mean to you?
1050
00:48:18,464 --> 00:48:18,264
Gay doesn't mean the same thing
1051
00:48:18,464 --> 00:48:23,340
that it meant 20 years ago.
1052
00:48:23,382 --> 00:48:23,182
And it's more important
1053
00:48:23,382 --> 00:48:26,716
now than ever
1054
00:48:26,757 --> 00:48:26,557
to make allies and,
1055
00:48:26,757 --> 00:48:30,257
uh, make alliances
1056
00:48:30,298 --> 00:48:30,098
both inside and outside
1057
00:48:30,298 --> 00:48:34,007
the gay community.
1058
00:48:38,216 --> 00:48:38,016
Gay doesn't mean
1059
00:48:38,216 --> 00:48:40,799
the same thing
1060
00:48:40,841 --> 00:48:43,133
that it meant 20 years ago.
1061
00:48:43,174 --> 00:48:45,133
It's not about...
1062
00:49:19,427 --> 00:49:21,427
Baby...
1063
00:49:22,843 --> 00:49:24,844
No.
1064
00:49:26,802 --> 00:49:28,927
I have to walk the dog.
1065
00:50:06,763 --> 00:50:08,388
Hey.
1066
00:50:12,347 --> 00:50:14,681
What are you doing?
1067
00:50:15,723 --> 00:50:18,222
I need some space.
1068
00:50:19,597 --> 00:50:19,397
Mike...
1069
00:50:19,597 --> 00:50:21,556
Look, I just...
1070
00:50:21,597 --> 00:50:23,539
I need some time
1071
00:50:23,739 --> 00:50:21,397
to figure this out,
1072
00:50:21,597 --> 00:50:25,681
to see where this is taking me.
1073
00:50:27,390 --> 00:50:28,519
Why can't you come
1074
00:50:28,719 --> 00:50:29,848
to me for help?
1075
00:50:29,889 --> 00:50:30,768
We have to talk
1076
00:50:30,968 --> 00:50:31,848
about this before...
1077
00:50:31,889 --> 00:50:33,848
Look, I just...
1078
00:50:33,889 --> 00:50:34,789
I need to get away
1079
00:50:34,989 --> 00:50:35,889
from this life.
1080
00:50:37,265 --> 00:50:39,889
Our life?
1081
00:50:39,889 --> 00:50:39,731
Yes.
1082
00:50:39,931 --> 00:50:41,623
What exactly is it
1083
00:50:41,823 --> 00:50:39,731
about our life
1084
00:50:39,931 --> 00:50:43,516
that you need to get away from?
1085
00:50:43,558 --> 00:50:44,291
Being gay?
1086
00:50:44,491 --> 00:50:45,224
I don't know.
1087
00:50:45,266 --> 00:50:46,582
I don't know!
1088
00:50:46,782 --> 00:50:48,099
Okay, uh...
1089
00:50:48,141 --> 00:50:49,890
Are you attracted to women?
1090
00:50:52,016 --> 00:50:53,124
Because if that's the case,
1091
00:50:53,324 --> 00:50:54,433
then fine. Go explore...
1092
00:50:54,474 --> 00:50:56,061
I just wanna be with
1093
00:50:56,261 --> 00:50:54,274
my parents in heaven.
1094
00:50:54,474 --> 00:50:57,849
Is that so hard to understand?
1095
00:50:57,890 --> 00:50:59,850
Can you even hear yourself
1096
00:50:59,850 --> 00:51:00,937
right now?
1097
00:51:01,137 --> 00:50:59,691
What happened
1098
00:50:59,891 --> 00:51:02,225
to the misinterpretation
1099
00:51:02,225 --> 00:51:02,067
of the Bible?
1100
00:51:02,267 --> 00:51:04,017
It's a fucking book, Mike!
1101
00:51:04,058 --> 00:51:06,350
I read the Bible the same way
1102
00:51:06,350 --> 00:51:06,550
I read anything else...
1103
00:51:06,750 --> 00:51:07,200
with an open mind
1104
00:51:07,400 --> 00:51:07,850
and an open heart.
1105
00:51:07,891 --> 00:51:07,691
Oh, is that
1106
00:51:07,891 --> 00:51:09,726
what you call this?
1107
00:51:09,767 --> 00:51:11,767
'Cause the way you're talking
1108
00:51:11,767 --> 00:51:12,896
doesn't exactly sound
1109
00:51:13,096 --> 00:51:14,225
very fucking open-minded.
1110
00:51:14,267 --> 00:51:16,226
This relationship is just...
1111
00:51:16,268 --> 00:51:16,068
It's developed
1112
00:51:16,268 --> 00:51:18,393
into something unhealthy.
1113
00:51:18,435 --> 00:51:21,809
What does that even mean?
1114
00:51:21,851 --> 00:51:23,809
Tyler?
1115
00:51:23,851 --> 00:51:26,393
You were just as interested
1116
00:51:26,393 --> 00:51:27,439
in that as I was.
1117
00:51:27,639 --> 00:51:28,685
No. I just wanted you
1118
00:51:28,685 --> 00:51:28,527
to be happy
1119
00:51:28,727 --> 00:51:29,543
because I was afraid
1120
00:51:29,743 --> 00:51:30,560
you were gonna leave.
1121
00:51:30,601 --> 00:51:30,401
I was never
1122
00:51:30,601 --> 00:51:32,127
gonna leave, Mike.
1123
00:51:32,327 --> 00:51:33,852
I've stood by you.
1124
00:51:33,893 --> 00:51:36,269
I've held your hand
1125
00:51:36,269 --> 00:51:33,693
while you were
1126
00:51:33,893 --> 00:51:36,269
so terrified of dying
1127
00:51:36,310 --> 00:51:38,085
that you created illnesses
1128
00:51:38,285 --> 00:51:40,060
that didn't even exist.
1129
00:51:40,102 --> 00:51:41,418
The truth is that
1130
00:51:41,618 --> 00:51:42,935
I was living a lie.
1131
00:51:42,977 --> 00:51:44,356
The truth is that
1132
00:51:44,556 --> 00:51:45,935
God loves us...
1133
00:51:45,977 --> 00:51:48,186
Shut the fuck up!
1134
00:51:52,603 --> 00:51:54,186
Okay.
1135
00:51:54,228 --> 00:51:55,853
Wait.
1136
00:52:03,771 --> 00:52:06,104
Please don't go.
1137
00:52:11,354 --> 00:52:13,730
Where are you going?
1138
00:52:21,522 --> 00:52:21,322
The thing that
1139
00:52:21,522 --> 00:52:24,522
will really kill you...
1140
00:52:26,689 --> 00:52:26,489
is repressing
1141
00:52:26,689 --> 00:52:29,731
who you truly are.
1142
00:52:31,272 --> 00:52:32,567
That's what you should
1143
00:52:32,767 --> 00:52:34,063
really be afraid of.
1144
00:53:43,694 --> 00:53:46,943
So, he just left this here
1145
00:53:46,943 --> 00:53:47,143
out in the open?
1146
00:54:35,071 --> 00:54:34,871
1147
00:54:35,071 --> 00:54:37,030
I have come to a decision
1148
00:54:37,071 --> 00:54:38,863
that will be shocking
1149
00:54:38,904 --> 00:54:38,704
to anyone
1150
00:54:38,904 --> 00:54:41,155
I used to relate to.
1151
00:54:43,656 --> 00:54:43,456
The presence of God
1152
00:54:43,656 --> 00:54:47,822
has grown strong in my life.
1153
00:54:47,864 --> 00:54:47,664
He told me
1154
00:54:47,864 --> 00:54:51,364
that my panic attacks
1155
00:54:51,406 --> 00:54:53,905
were caused by my shallow,
1156
00:54:53,947 --> 00:54:57,281
sinful lifestyle.
1157
00:54:57,322 --> 00:54:59,865
I've come to the realization
1158
00:54:59,906 --> 00:55:02,782
that identifying as gay
1159
00:55:02,823 --> 00:55:02,623
prevents you from finding
1160
00:55:02,823 --> 00:55:06,741
your true self within.
1161
00:55:06,782 --> 00:55:09,073
And we must be our true selves
1162
00:55:09,115 --> 00:55:08,915
in order to join God
1163
00:55:09,115 --> 00:55:13,157
in His kingdom.
1164
00:55:13,198 --> 00:55:17,116
Therefore, I, Michael Glatze,
1165
00:55:17,158 --> 00:55:19,533
no longer identify as gay.
1166
00:56:47,996 --> 00:56:49,372
1167
00:56:53,664 --> 00:56:55,664
1168
00:57:33,541 --> 00:57:35,541
Why did you do it?
1169
00:57:39,250 --> 00:57:42,292
Gay activist goes straight?
1170
00:57:42,333 --> 00:57:43,650
You gave the anti-gay right
1171
00:57:43,850 --> 00:57:45,167
the story of their dreams.
1172
00:57:45,208 --> 00:57:47,170
I don't know why.
1173
00:57:47,370 --> 00:57:49,333
I don't know.
1174
00:57:49,375 --> 00:57:52,459
Who pushed you?
1175
00:57:52,459 --> 00:57:52,300
No one.
1176
00:57:52,500 --> 00:57:53,588
I just wanted
1177
00:57:53,788 --> 00:57:54,876
to tell my story.
1178
00:57:54,917 --> 00:57:55,942
Look, I think
1179
00:57:56,142 --> 00:57:57,168
this all happened
1180
00:57:57,209 --> 00:57:58,192
because God needed
1181
00:57:58,392 --> 00:57:59,376
to teach me a lesson.
1182
00:57:59,418 --> 00:58:00,964
That's why I'm here...
1183
00:58:01,164 --> 00:58:02,710
to make it better.
1184
00:58:09,960 --> 00:58:09,760
Meditation is
1185
00:58:09,960 --> 00:58:12,753
a way of slowing down
1186
00:58:12,794 --> 00:58:15,753
and developing kindness
1187
00:58:15,753 --> 00:58:15,594
towards yourself.
1188
00:58:15,794 --> 00:58:18,294
Through mindfulness practice,
1189
00:58:18,335 --> 00:58:21,502
we develop strength of mind,
1190
00:58:21,544 --> 00:58:24,127
we become more present,
1191
00:58:24,169 --> 00:58:27,253
and we learn to appreciate
1192
00:58:27,253 --> 00:58:27,453
our world.
1193
00:58:32,086 --> 00:58:31,886
1194
00:58:32,086 --> 00:58:35,878
God works in mysterious ways.
1195
00:58:35,919 --> 00:58:37,919
He has sent me to a place
1196
00:58:37,961 --> 00:58:37,761
where I can get away
1197
00:58:37,961 --> 00:58:40,504
from the physical world
1198
00:58:40,546 --> 00:58:40,346
so that I can focus
1199
00:58:40,546 --> 00:58:43,379
on my true self...
1200
00:58:43,421 --> 00:58:46,254
a happier, healthier man,
1201
00:58:46,296 --> 00:58:49,379
free of unnatural desires.
1202
00:58:57,255 --> 00:58:57,055
At first,
1203
00:58:57,255 --> 00:58:59,380
I didn't understand
1204
00:58:59,422 --> 00:59:01,672
why God would send a Christian
1205
00:59:01,714 --> 00:59:04,422
to a Buddhist retreat.
1206
00:59:04,464 --> 00:59:04,264
But I have faith
1207
00:59:04,464 --> 00:59:07,672
in His plan for me.
1208
00:59:14,423 --> 00:59:16,839
Desire is powerful,
1209
00:59:16,881 --> 00:59:19,757
and God is testing me,
1210
00:59:19,798 --> 00:59:19,598
but I refuse
1211
00:59:19,798 --> 00:59:24,006
to give in to temptation.
1212
00:59:29,591 --> 00:59:31,716
I've come to the realization
1213
00:59:31,758 --> 00:59:31,558
that God wants me
1214
00:59:31,758 --> 00:59:34,758
to use meditation
1215
00:59:34,799 --> 00:59:34,599
to rid myself
1216
00:59:34,799 --> 00:59:38,340
of abnormal desires.
1217
00:59:39,591 --> 00:59:43,090
God gave Buddha the light
1218
00:59:43,090 --> 00:59:43,290
to be Buddha.
1219
00:59:43,490 --> 00:59:44,841
He did.
1220
00:59:44,883 --> 00:59:46,924
Michael, what are you
1221
00:59:46,924 --> 00:59:48,116
talking about?
1222
00:59:48,316 --> 00:59:46,766
I just want us
1223
00:59:46,966 --> 00:59:49,508
to be on the right path
1224
00:59:49,550 --> 00:59:51,175
for our future,
1225
00:59:51,216 --> 00:59:52,574
for our health,
1226
00:59:52,774 --> 00:59:54,133
for the afterlife.
1227
00:59:54,175 --> 00:59:57,633
I am on the right path,
1228
00:59:57,633 --> 00:59:57,833
okay? My path.
1229
01:00:07,925 --> 01:00:08,971
Michael, I...
1230
01:00:09,171 --> 01:00:10,217
I'm sorry.
1231
01:00:12,925 --> 01:00:14,925
I'm sorry, Nico.
1232
01:00:33,344 --> 01:00:37,720
It's the same kind of strength
1233
01:00:37,720 --> 01:00:33,144
you need to...
1234
01:00:33,344 --> 01:00:37,720
to clear your mind.
1235
01:00:37,762 --> 01:00:40,136
This is... We just...
1236
01:00:40,178 --> 01:00:39,978
We need to find
1237
01:00:40,178 --> 01:00:42,553
that strength to fight
1238
01:00:42,595 --> 01:00:42,395
what we both know
1239
01:00:42,595 --> 01:00:46,303
in our hearts is wrong.
1240
01:00:46,344 --> 01:00:48,928
We just have to fight it.
1241
01:00:48,928 --> 01:00:49,128
Stop, Michael. Stop.
1242
01:00:49,328 --> 01:00:50,679
No. I mean...
1243
01:00:59,887 --> 01:01:02,262
Michael, you're confused.
1244
01:01:02,304 --> 01:01:03,663
You're very confused,
1245
01:01:03,863 --> 01:01:05,221
and it's at my expense.
1246
01:01:32,556 --> 01:01:32,356
1247
01:01:32,556 --> 01:01:33,997
People have been asking
1248
01:01:34,197 --> 01:01:35,640
how I am...
1249
01:01:35,682 --> 01:01:37,640
some out of support,
1250
01:01:37,682 --> 01:01:37,482
others who think
1251
01:01:37,682 --> 01:01:40,807
I've reconsidered.
1252
01:01:40,848 --> 01:01:42,890
I've come to the realization
1253
01:01:42,931 --> 01:01:45,265
that Bennett represents soul,
1254
01:01:45,307 --> 01:01:47,766
Tyler represents body,
1255
01:01:47,807 --> 01:01:50,474
Nico represents mind.
1256
01:01:50,515 --> 01:01:54,349
Father, Son, Holy Ghost.
1257
01:01:54,391 --> 01:01:54,191
I guess God needed me
1258
01:01:54,391 --> 01:01:56,683
the complete the Trinity
1259
01:01:56,725 --> 01:01:59,516
in order to move on.
1260
01:01:59,558 --> 01:01:59,358
So I'm ready to set
1261
01:01:59,558 --> 01:02:01,932
the record straight.
1262
01:02:01,974 --> 01:02:04,141
I was a heterosexual person
1263
01:02:04,183 --> 01:02:06,475
with a homosexual problem,
1264
01:02:06,516 --> 01:02:06,316
and I took care
1265
01:02:06,516 --> 01:02:09,225
of that problem.
1266
01:02:09,267 --> 01:02:11,392
I have not reconsidered.
1267
01:02:12,933 --> 01:02:16,267
A good number of people
1268
01:02:16,267 --> 01:02:16,109
have come forward
1269
01:02:16,309 --> 01:02:17,938
and expressed their concern
1270
01:02:18,138 --> 01:02:18,853
about your being involved
1271
01:02:19,053 --> 01:02:19,768
with this organization.
1272
01:02:19,809 --> 01:02:21,354
This center is supposed
1273
01:02:21,554 --> 01:02:23,101
to accept everyone.
1274
01:02:23,143 --> 01:02:24,934
Yes, and we do.
1275
01:02:24,976 --> 01:02:25,876
We welcome people
1276
01:02:26,076 --> 01:02:26,976
of all beliefs.
1277
01:02:27,018 --> 01:02:30,185
But we don't tolerate hate.
1278
01:02:30,226 --> 01:02:33,226
I don't hate anybody.
1279
01:02:33,268 --> 01:02:35,147
Michael, you've written
1280
01:02:35,347 --> 01:02:36,186
what some would call
1281
01:02:36,386 --> 01:02:37,226
very hateful things.
1282
01:02:37,268 --> 01:02:40,269
Those are my beliefs.
1283
01:02:41,686 --> 01:02:43,478
Are you okay?
1284
01:02:43,519 --> 01:02:45,603
Yeah.
1285
01:02:45,644 --> 01:02:47,977
Are you okay?
1286
01:02:49,852 --> 01:02:51,352
I don't know...
1287
01:02:51,394 --> 01:02:52,106
I don't understand
1288
01:02:52,306 --> 01:02:53,019
what has changed,
1289
01:02:53,061 --> 01:02:55,228
but I, uh...
1290
01:02:55,270 --> 01:02:57,895
Here we practice compassion.
1291
01:02:58,895 --> 01:03:00,895
And I'm just...
1292
01:03:00,936 --> 01:03:02,978
I'm afraid this isn't
1293
01:03:02,978 --> 01:03:02,820
gonna work out.
1294
01:03:03,020 --> 01:03:05,145
So, because I'm Christian
1295
01:03:05,187 --> 01:03:06,316
and I expressed
1296
01:03:06,516 --> 01:03:07,645
my opinions,
1297
01:03:07,687 --> 01:03:10,395
I have to leave?
1298
01:03:10,437 --> 01:03:12,646
So messed up.
1299
01:03:51,106 --> 01:03:53,065
That's really everything?
1300
01:03:53,106 --> 01:03:54,256
Your whole life
1301
01:03:54,456 --> 01:03:55,607
is on that one bag?
1302
01:03:55,648 --> 01:03:57,648
Yeah.
1303
01:04:01,191 --> 01:04:00,991
Do you think
1304
01:04:01,191 --> 01:04:03,857
you'll stay here?
1305
01:04:03,899 --> 01:04:05,174
I mean, San Francisco
1306
01:04:05,374 --> 01:04:06,649
can't be the best place
1307
01:04:06,691 --> 01:04:08,775
for an...
1308
01:04:08,816 --> 01:04:11,066
e... ex-gay.
1309
01:04:11,107 --> 01:04:13,691
I'm not an ex-gay.
1310
01:04:13,733 --> 01:04:16,776
I'm just me.
1311
01:04:16,817 --> 01:04:16,617
Honestly,
1312
01:04:16,817 --> 01:04:20,150
I thought you'd be happy.
1313
01:04:20,192 --> 01:04:21,071
I mean, you never
1314
01:04:21,271 --> 01:04:22,150
really approved.
1315
01:04:22,192 --> 01:04:24,484
That's not true.
1316
01:04:24,525 --> 01:04:25,841
Then why haven't
1317
01:04:26,041 --> 01:04:27,358
we been close?
1318
01:04:27,400 --> 01:04:27,200
I mean,
1319
01:04:27,400 --> 01:04:29,567
you're my sister.
1320
01:04:29,609 --> 01:04:32,068
We're supposed to be there
1321
01:04:32,068 --> 01:04:32,268
for each other.
1322
01:04:33,901 --> 01:04:36,234
We can be close now.
1323
01:04:36,276 --> 01:04:38,276
I'm glad you're here.
1324
01:04:39,485 --> 01:04:42,735
And I want you to be happy,
1325
01:04:42,777 --> 01:04:44,777
loving whomever.
1326
01:04:46,444 --> 01:04:47,739
Yeah?
1327
01:04:47,939 --> 01:04:49,235
Yeah.
1328
01:05:47,072 --> 01:05:49,280
♪♪
1329
01:06:34,742 --> 01:06:36,908
I'm sorry.
1330
01:06:36,949 --> 01:06:39,534
No... No, I'm sorry. Uh...
1331
01:06:39,534 --> 01:06:39,376
What?
1332
01:06:39,576 --> 01:06:41,534
What happened?
1333
01:06:41,534 --> 01:06:41,376
I can't.
1334
01:06:41,576 --> 01:06:43,743
Um, it's not you. It's...
1335
01:06:43,785 --> 01:06:44,767
I'm sorry.
1336
01:06:44,967 --> 01:06:45,950
I'm so sorry.
1337
01:07:25,412 --> 01:07:28,037
1338
01:07:32,704 --> 01:07:34,496
Olly, it's okay.
1339
01:07:34,537 --> 01:07:36,870
It's okay, it's okay.
1340
01:07:42,913 --> 01:07:44,913
Hello?
1341
01:07:52,455 --> 01:07:54,455
Michael.
1342
01:07:55,455 --> 01:07:57,456
Bennett.
1343
01:07:58,997 --> 01:08:01,664
Where are you?
1344
01:08:03,081 --> 01:08:05,081
Are you okay?
1345
01:08:07,955 --> 01:08:11,289
Michael?
1346
01:08:11,289 --> 01:08:11,131
I have to go.
1347
01:08:11,331 --> 01:08:12,460
Wh-Why did you call me,
1348
01:08:12,660 --> 01:08:13,791
Michael?
1349
01:08:24,582 --> 01:08:26,582
To my friends who are trapped
1350
01:08:26,624 --> 01:08:28,582
in homosexuality:
1351
01:08:28,624 --> 01:08:28,424
I wanna thank you
1352
01:08:28,624 --> 01:08:31,333
for your kind comments
1353
01:08:31,374 --> 01:08:33,416
and keen observations
1354
01:08:33,458 --> 01:08:34,858
regarding my story
1355
01:08:35,058 --> 01:08:36,458
and my revelation
1356
01:08:36,500 --> 01:08:39,041
that I am no longer homosexual
1357
01:08:39,083 --> 01:08:41,750
and am now heterosexual.
1358
01:08:41,792 --> 01:08:43,750
The gay identity
1359
01:08:43,792 --> 01:08:45,026
has been packaged
1360
01:08:45,226 --> 01:08:46,459
and fed to you,
1361
01:08:46,501 --> 01:08:48,584
and if you identify as gay,
1362
01:08:48,626 --> 01:08:50,584
then you have eaten it,
1363
01:08:50,626 --> 01:08:50,426
preventing you
1364
01:08:50,626 --> 01:08:52,834
from further growth
1365
01:08:52,875 --> 01:08:54,171
and understanding
1366
01:08:54,371 --> 01:08:55,667
of your true self.
1367
01:08:55,709 --> 01:08:59,667
But it's not too late
1368
01:08:59,667 --> 01:08:59,509
to save yourself
1369
01:08:59,709 --> 01:09:02,210
if you follow my lead.
1370
01:09:02,251 --> 01:09:04,627
I am confident.
1371
01:09:04,668 --> 01:09:06,876
I am blessed.
1372
01:09:06,918 --> 01:09:09,001
I am strong.
1373
01:09:09,043 --> 01:09:11,168
I am ready
1374
01:09:11,210 --> 01:09:14,126
to give up my life for Christ
1375
01:09:14,168 --> 01:09:17,461
in order to find my true self.
1376
01:10:26,381 --> 01:10:27,469
Sure you don't
1377
01:10:27,669 --> 01:10:28,757
want a coffee?
1378
01:10:28,799 --> 01:10:29,802
I don't drink
1379
01:10:30,002 --> 01:10:31,006
coffee anymore.
1380
01:10:35,923 --> 01:10:37,882
You're well?
1381
01:10:37,924 --> 01:10:39,965
Yeah. Why?
1382
01:10:40,007 --> 01:10:42,007
Just asking.
1383
01:10:43,299 --> 01:10:45,674
Mm. I'm great.
1384
01:10:45,716 --> 01:10:48,299
I've never been better.
1385
01:10:51,299 --> 01:10:51,099
Well, I just wanted
1386
01:10:51,299 --> 01:10:54,675
to see how you're doing.
1387
01:10:56,300 --> 01:10:58,300
So does Bennett.
1388
01:10:59,300 --> 01:11:01,050
Mm.
1389
01:11:01,092 --> 01:11:02,575
I wish I could understand
1390
01:11:02,775 --> 01:11:04,258
what you're going through.
1391
01:11:06,258 --> 01:11:06,058
I just don't want
1392
01:11:06,258 --> 01:11:09,134
to be perceived as gay
1393
01:11:09,176 --> 01:11:08,976
for the rest
1394
01:11:09,176 --> 01:11:12,176
of my experiences.
1395
01:11:12,218 --> 01:11:14,259
It's that simple.
1396
01:11:17,176 --> 01:11:18,555
Are you still
1397
01:11:18,755 --> 01:11:20,134
with Bennett?
1398
01:11:20,176 --> 01:11:21,802
No.
1399
01:11:21,843 --> 01:11:25,803
I'm, uh, going to Europe
1400
01:11:25,844 --> 01:11:27,803
to study space science.
1401
01:11:27,844 --> 01:11:29,844
That's great.
1402
01:11:29,885 --> 01:11:29,685
I'm going
1403
01:11:29,885 --> 01:11:32,469
to Bible school.
1404
01:11:32,511 --> 01:11:32,311
God told me
1405
01:11:32,511 --> 01:11:35,010
to become a pastor.
1406
01:11:44,928 --> 01:11:44,728
I don't want to
1407
01:11:44,928 --> 01:11:49,095
open old wounds or anything,
1408
01:11:49,136 --> 01:11:52,178
but I also don't know
1409
01:11:52,220 --> 01:11:53,203
when I'll ever
1410
01:11:53,403 --> 01:11:54,386
see you again.
1411
01:11:56,887 --> 01:11:56,687
I want you to know
1412
01:11:56,887 --> 01:11:59,513
how much you meant to me.
1413
01:12:05,721 --> 01:12:05,521
And I know
1414
01:12:05,721 --> 01:12:08,137
you don't care anymore...
1415
01:12:09,638 --> 01:12:11,847
but I needed to say it.
1416
01:12:12,847 --> 01:12:14,971
For closure.
1417
01:12:20,013 --> 01:12:22,597
This whole thing...
1418
01:12:24,388 --> 01:12:26,555
it broke my heart.
1419
01:12:27,972 --> 01:12:32,181
Tyler, I'm sorry...
1420
01:12:34,348 --> 01:12:35,664
but I need to live
1421
01:12:35,864 --> 01:12:37,181
for myself now.
1422
01:12:40,807 --> 01:12:42,807
Okay.
1423
01:12:46,307 --> 01:12:47,724
Okay.
1424
01:12:49,932 --> 01:12:51,932
Take care.
1425
01:13:41,893 --> 01:13:41,693
Now, sometime, somebody's
1426
01:13:41,893 --> 01:13:44,976
gonna ask you what you believe.
1427
01:13:45,018 --> 01:13:47,252
They're gonna say,
1428
01:13:47,452 --> 01:13:44,818
"You're a Christian.
1429
01:13:45,018 --> 01:13:49,686
All right, what do you believe?"
1430
01:13:49,728 --> 01:13:52,478
Maybe they're an atheist
1431
01:13:52,478 --> 01:13:52,320
or an agnostic
1432
01:13:52,520 --> 01:13:54,478
or a Muslim or a Buddha,
1433
01:13:54,478 --> 01:13:54,320
you know?
1434
01:13:54,520 --> 01:13:56,478
Who knows what they are.
1435
01:13:56,520 --> 01:13:59,894
And you better be ready
1436
01:13:59,894 --> 01:13:59,736
to tell them.
1437
01:13:59,936 --> 01:14:01,502
We believe the Bible
1438
01:14:01,702 --> 01:14:03,270
is the word of God.
1439
01:14:03,312 --> 01:14:06,187
The supreme final authority
1440
01:14:06,229 --> 01:14:06,029
in life
1441
01:14:06,229 --> 01:14:08,395
and in our faith.
1442
01:14:08,437 --> 01:14:12,187
We believe in one God
1443
01:14:12,229 --> 01:14:13,608
eternally existing
1444
01:14:13,808 --> 01:14:15,187
in three persons:
1445
01:14:15,229 --> 01:14:16,170
the Father, the Son,
1446
01:14:16,370 --> 01:14:17,312
and the Holy Spirit.
1447
01:14:18,479 --> 01:14:19,671
And we believe
1448
01:14:19,871 --> 01:14:21,063
the sole condition
1449
01:14:21,105 --> 01:14:24,146
for receiving everlasting life
1450
01:14:24,188 --> 01:14:27,814
is belief and faith alone
1451
01:14:27,855 --> 01:14:30,355
in the Lord Jesus Christ.
1452
01:14:32,938 --> 01:14:35,773
♪♪
1453
01:14:48,481 --> 01:14:51,065
♪♪
1454
01:15:16,108 --> 01:15:15,908
Thank you.
1455
01:15:16,108 --> 01:15:18,566
Uh, one of those, please.
1456
01:15:32,109 --> 01:15:33,692
Hi, I'm Michael.
1457
01:15:33,734 --> 01:15:36,442
Uh, hi. I'm Rebecca.
1458
01:15:38,110 --> 01:15:37,909
I guess we like
1459
01:15:38,110 --> 01:15:41,110
all the same things.
1460
01:15:43,235 --> 01:15:45,443
I love it here.
1461
01:15:45,485 --> 01:15:46,572
I mean, I never thought
1462
01:15:46,772 --> 01:15:47,860
I'd end up in Wyoming,
1463
01:15:47,901 --> 01:15:49,468
but I feel like I've
1464
01:15:49,668 --> 01:15:51,235
finally found my niche.
1465
01:15:51,276 --> 01:15:52,238
Where'd you think
1466
01:15:52,438 --> 01:15:53,401
you'd end up?
1467
01:15:55,985 --> 01:15:58,569
That's a good question.
1468
01:15:58,569 --> 01:15:58,411
I don't know.
1469
01:15:58,611 --> 01:16:00,365
All I know is that
1470
01:16:00,565 --> 01:16:01,342
I've always wanted
1471
01:16:01,542 --> 01:16:02,319
to help people.
1472
01:16:02,361 --> 01:16:04,302
Because some people
1473
01:16:04,502 --> 01:16:06,444
struggle so much
1474
01:16:06,486 --> 01:16:06,286
when the solution
1475
01:16:06,486 --> 01:16:09,528
is actually very simple.
1476
01:16:09,569 --> 01:16:11,116
It's right there
1477
01:16:11,316 --> 01:16:12,862
in Matthew 10:
1478
01:16:12,903 --> 01:16:14,945
The road may not be easy,
1479
01:16:14,986 --> 01:16:14,786
but if we give up
1480
01:16:14,986 --> 01:16:17,487
our lives for Christ...
1481
01:16:19,028 --> 01:16:20,261
then we'll find
1482
01:16:20,461 --> 01:16:21,695
our true selves.
1483
01:16:29,530 --> 01:16:30,409
Where did you
1484
01:16:30,609 --> 01:16:31,488
go to college?
1485
01:16:31,530 --> 01:16:33,655
Dartmouth.
1486
01:16:33,655 --> 01:16:33,496
Wow.
1487
01:16:33,696 --> 01:16:33,496
You, uh...
1488
01:16:33,696 --> 01:16:35,655
You majored in music?
1489
01:16:35,696 --> 01:16:37,283
In creative writing
1490
01:16:37,483 --> 01:16:39,071
and English literature,
1491
01:16:39,113 --> 01:16:43,405
but I minored in music theory
1492
01:16:43,405 --> 01:16:43,247
and composition.
1493
01:16:43,447 --> 01:16:46,072
That must've kept you busy.
1494
01:16:46,114 --> 01:16:47,243
What kind of stuff
1495
01:16:47,443 --> 01:16:48,572
did you write?
1496
01:16:48,614 --> 01:16:48,414
Well, my thesis
1497
01:16:48,614 --> 01:16:53,030
was all poetry, actually.
1498
01:16:53,072 --> 01:16:55,531
Can I read some?
1499
01:16:55,572 --> 01:16:57,740
I don't have it anymore.
1500
01:16:57,782 --> 01:16:59,348
Poetry is from
1501
01:16:59,548 --> 01:17:01,115
a different life.
1502
01:17:01,156 --> 01:17:02,865
But I, um...
1503
01:17:02,906 --> 01:17:05,240
I'm so interested
1504
01:17:05,240 --> 01:17:06,411
in music now
1505
01:17:06,611 --> 01:17:05,081
because it
1506
01:17:05,281 --> 01:17:07,782
transcends language.
1507
01:17:07,824 --> 01:17:09,390
You know, it's like
1508
01:17:09,590 --> 01:17:11,156
people don't have to
1509
01:17:11,156 --> 01:17:12,056
argue about it
1510
01:17:12,256 --> 01:17:10,998
or judge it
1511
01:17:11,198 --> 01:17:13,156
or misinterpret it.
1512
01:17:13,198 --> 01:17:15,324
They can just listen,
1513
01:17:15,324 --> 01:17:17,036
you know?
1514
01:17:17,236 --> 01:17:15,166
I just play,
1515
01:17:15,366 --> 01:17:18,949
and they just listen,
1516
01:17:18,949 --> 01:17:18,790
you know?
1517
01:17:18,990 --> 01:17:21,366
I... I don't know if I do,
1518
01:17:21,366 --> 01:17:21,207
to be honest,
1519
01:17:21,407 --> 01:17:24,407
but the way you say it,
1520
01:17:24,407 --> 01:17:25,328
I want to.
1521
01:17:25,528 --> 01:17:24,249
I'm sorry.
1522
01:17:24,449 --> 01:17:26,449
I'm just blabbing.
1523
01:17:26,491 --> 01:17:27,370
What about you?
1524
01:17:27,570 --> 01:17:28,449
No, don't be sorry.
1525
01:17:28,491 --> 01:17:30,450
You're not blabbing.
1526
01:17:30,450 --> 01:17:30,292
Um...
1527
01:17:30,492 --> 01:17:32,450
I, uh, majored in theater.
1528
01:17:32,492 --> 01:17:34,450
Theater? Really?
1529
01:17:34,450 --> 01:17:34,292
Yeah.
1530
01:17:34,492 --> 01:17:35,371
Yeah, it was...
1531
01:17:35,571 --> 01:17:36,450
it was really fun,
1532
01:17:36,492 --> 01:17:37,725
but it's not like
1533
01:17:37,925 --> 01:17:39,158
it's a real job.
1534
01:17:39,200 --> 01:17:41,100
I actually stage managed
1535
01:17:41,300 --> 01:17:43,200
a little bit after college,
1536
01:17:43,200 --> 01:17:43,042
but...
1537
01:17:43,242 --> 01:17:44,600
I don't know.
1538
01:17:44,800 --> 01:17:46,159
I felt adrift.
1539
01:17:46,201 --> 01:17:48,159
So, I came here,
1540
01:17:48,201 --> 01:17:50,909
hoping to figure out
1541
01:17:50,909 --> 01:17:51,830
my path.
1542
01:17:52,030 --> 01:17:52,951
Me too.
1543
01:18:40,454 --> 01:18:43,621
♪♪
1544
01:18:43,663 --> 01:18:43,463
I can't believe
1545
01:18:43,663 --> 01:18:46,246
you've never had sushi.
1546
01:18:46,287 --> 01:18:48,788
Who hasn't had sushi?
1547
01:18:48,788 --> 01:18:48,989
It's crazy.
1548
01:18:49,189 --> 01:18:51,372
Mm...
1549
01:18:51,413 --> 01:18:53,372
Oh, no.
1550
01:18:53,413 --> 01:18:55,413
You don't like it.
1551
01:18:55,413 --> 01:18:55,255
I'm sorry.
1552
01:18:55,455 --> 01:18:57,455
Oh, I'm so sorry.
1553
01:18:57,497 --> 01:18:58,480
Ohh...
1554
01:18:58,680 --> 01:18:59,664
I'm sorry.
1555
01:18:59,705 --> 01:19:01,063
No. I used to hate it
1556
01:19:01,263 --> 01:19:02,622
when my ex did that.
1557
01:19:02,664 --> 01:19:05,039
Always making decisions.
1558
01:19:05,081 --> 01:19:07,248
We can go somewhere else.
1559
01:19:07,248 --> 01:19:07,089
No.
1560
01:19:07,289 --> 01:19:09,623
No, no, no. No.
1561
01:19:09,623 --> 01:19:10,648
It's okay.
1562
01:19:10,848 --> 01:19:11,260
You sure?
1563
01:19:11,460 --> 01:19:11,873
Yes. Yeah.
1564
01:19:11,914 --> 01:19:13,022
You like it.
1565
01:19:13,222 --> 01:19:14,331
It's fine.
1566
01:19:19,206 --> 01:19:19,006
How, um...
1567
01:19:19,206 --> 01:19:22,499
How long ago was the...
1568
01:19:22,541 --> 01:19:24,499
an ex you mentioned?
1569
01:19:24,541 --> 01:19:27,541
Oh, it was a long time ago.
1570
01:19:27,541 --> 01:19:27,382
It was...
1571
01:19:27,582 --> 01:19:28,628
I don't know why
1572
01:19:28,828 --> 01:19:29,874
I brought that up.
1573
01:19:31,957 --> 01:19:34,415
Well, um, was it serious?
1574
01:19:34,457 --> 01:19:36,457
Were you gonna marry her?
1575
01:19:38,958 --> 01:19:41,667
It was serious, but, um,
1576
01:19:41,708 --> 01:19:43,792
no, not marriage.
1577
01:19:45,291 --> 01:19:47,375
What about you?
1578
01:19:47,416 --> 01:19:49,375
Oh, no. I've...
1579
01:19:49,416 --> 01:19:49,216
I've never been in
1580
01:19:49,416 --> 01:19:52,668
a serious relationship.
1581
01:19:52,709 --> 01:19:54,213
My parents are very,
1582
01:19:54,413 --> 01:19:55,917
very conservative.
1583
01:19:57,292 --> 01:19:57,092
Do you think
1584
01:19:57,292 --> 01:19:59,626
they'd approve of me?
1585
01:19:59,668 --> 01:19:59,468
The future pastor
1586
01:19:59,668 --> 01:20:03,459
I met at Bible school?
1587
01:20:03,501 --> 01:20:06,626
Yes, I think they'd approve.
1588
01:20:41,212 --> 01:20:42,629
Rebecca?
1589
01:20:43,754 --> 01:20:46,712
Hi.
1590
01:20:48,420 --> 01:20:50,754
What?
1591
01:20:50,796 --> 01:20:52,796
I just...
1592
01:20:52,838 --> 01:20:55,629
Since when do you wear
1593
01:20:55,629 --> 01:20:55,471
shirts like that?
1594
01:20:55,671 --> 01:20:59,547
Well, it's not inappropriate,
1595
01:20:59,547 --> 01:20:59,388
and it's hot out.
1596
01:20:59,588 --> 01:21:03,797
You're here to serve our Lord,
1597
01:21:03,797 --> 01:21:06,134
not distract our men.
1598
01:21:06,334 --> 01:21:03,639
I... I don't think
1599
01:21:03,839 --> 01:21:08,672
I'm distracting anyone.
1600
01:21:08,713 --> 01:21:11,213
Is... Is this about Michael?
1601
01:21:11,255 --> 01:21:13,135
We are not letting what we have
1602
01:21:13,335 --> 01:21:15,214
get in the way of our studies.
1603
01:21:15,256 --> 01:21:16,343
Besides, the Lord
1604
01:21:16,543 --> 01:21:17,631
brought us together.
1605
01:21:18,798 --> 01:21:21,589
It's about his past.
1606
01:21:21,631 --> 01:21:24,256
What about it?
1607
01:21:24,297 --> 01:21:26,506
You really don't know?
1608
01:21:28,465 --> 01:21:30,423
Know what?
1609
01:21:51,216 --> 01:21:53,007
Rebecca.
1610
01:21:53,049 --> 01:21:55,007
Oh. Hi.
1611
01:21:55,049 --> 01:21:57,216
Are we still meeting?
1612
01:21:57,216 --> 01:21:57,058
Yeah. I'm just...
1613
01:21:57,258 --> 01:21:58,595
Just let me finish this.
1614
01:21:58,795 --> 01:22:00,134
I'll be... be right there.
1615
01:22:01,384 --> 01:22:03,843
I'll be in the cafeteria.
1616
01:22:03,843 --> 01:22:04,043
Okay.
1617
01:22:23,926 --> 01:22:23,726
I have something
1618
01:22:23,926 --> 01:22:26,343
that I have to tell you.
1619
01:22:30,468 --> 01:22:32,469
You already know,
1620
01:22:32,469 --> 01:22:32,669
don't you?
1621
01:22:37,094 --> 01:22:38,244
Are you still
1622
01:22:38,444 --> 01:22:39,594
attracted to men?
1623
01:22:39,636 --> 01:22:41,678
No.
1624
01:22:42,886 --> 01:22:44,927
It's in the past.
1625
01:22:44,969 --> 01:22:47,846
I... God showed me
1626
01:22:47,846 --> 01:22:47,687
the light.
1627
01:22:47,887 --> 01:22:50,345
He showed me the truth.
1628
01:22:50,387 --> 01:22:50,187
A lot of...
1629
01:22:50,387 --> 01:22:54,303
A lot of people have pasts
1630
01:22:54,303 --> 01:22:56,036
they're not proud of,
1631
01:22:56,236 --> 01:22:57,970
but God forgives, right?
1632
01:23:00,011 --> 01:23:03,721
My life has changed so much
1633
01:23:03,721 --> 01:23:05,350
since I met you.
1634
01:23:05,550 --> 01:23:06,264
And my feelings
1635
01:23:06,464 --> 01:23:07,179
for you are real.
1636
01:23:07,221 --> 01:23:11,138
My feelings for you
1637
01:23:11,138 --> 01:23:10,979
are real too.
1638
01:23:11,179 --> 01:23:12,662
But I feel like we should
1639
01:23:12,862 --> 01:23:14,346
just keep hanging out
1640
01:23:14,388 --> 01:23:16,638
and see what happens.
1641
01:23:16,680 --> 01:23:16,480
Maybe not settle
1642
01:23:16,680 --> 01:23:20,806
on anything too specific,
1643
01:23:20,848 --> 01:23:22,848
if that's okay.
1644
01:23:24,848 --> 01:23:26,264
Okay.
1645
01:23:53,932 --> 01:23:56,599
Hi. I'm Michael.
1646
01:24:32,393 --> 01:24:35,518
Now, I wanna tell you
1647
01:24:35,560 --> 01:24:38,685
a little secret
1648
01:24:38,726 --> 01:24:42,352
about a great gift from God.
1649
01:24:44,185 --> 01:24:46,853
This gift is a human emotion
1650
01:24:46,894 --> 01:24:48,853
and considered destructive
1651
01:24:48,894 --> 01:24:51,060
by the enemies of God.
1652
01:24:54,936 --> 01:24:57,353
Fear.
1653
01:24:57,395 --> 01:25:01,228
You can never, never,
1654
01:25:01,270 --> 01:25:05,436
never stop fearing yourself.
1655
01:25:05,478 --> 01:25:10,520
We are our own worst enemies,
1656
01:25:10,562 --> 01:25:12,771
and we must fear ourselves
1657
01:25:12,813 --> 01:25:12,613
till the day
1658
01:25:12,813 --> 01:25:17,062
we meet God Himself.
1659
01:25:18,271 --> 01:25:20,396
God didn't put us here
1660
01:25:20,437 --> 01:25:21,816
to live our lives
1661
01:25:22,016 --> 01:25:23,396
in constant fear.
1662
01:25:23,437 --> 01:25:25,396
No, of course not.
1663
01:25:25,437 --> 01:25:26,984
And then he scolded me
1664
01:25:27,184 --> 01:25:28,730
for asking questions.
1665
01:25:28,772 --> 01:25:29,651
Well, that's not fair.
1666
01:25:29,851 --> 01:25:30,730
We're here to learn,
1667
01:25:30,772 --> 01:25:31,651
and we learn, in part,
1668
01:25:31,851 --> 01:25:32,730
by asking questions.
1669
01:25:32,772 --> 01:25:36,230
No, we're here to serve God,
1670
01:25:36,230 --> 01:25:36,072
not to identify
1671
01:25:36,272 --> 01:25:40,522
as the exact kind of Christians
1672
01:25:40,522 --> 01:25:40,722
they want us to be.
1673
01:25:41,730 --> 01:25:43,214
I'm sorry.
1674
01:25:43,414 --> 01:25:44,898
Don't be.
1675
01:25:44,981 --> 01:25:46,673
You know what's best
1676
01:25:46,873 --> 01:25:47,619
because that's God
1677
01:25:47,819 --> 01:25:48,565
speaking through you.
1678
01:25:56,273 --> 01:25:58,273
You wanted to see me?
1679
01:26:00,315 --> 01:26:01,777
Now, you've been rallying
1680
01:26:01,977 --> 01:26:03,440
the students against us
1681
01:26:03,482 --> 01:26:03,282
as though
1682
01:26:03,482 --> 01:26:04,819
you're being controlled
1683
01:26:05,019 --> 01:26:06,357
by the devil himself.
1684
01:26:09,566 --> 01:26:10,736
I've learned a lot
1685
01:26:10,936 --> 01:26:12,107
about the Bible here,
1686
01:26:12,149 --> 01:26:14,358
and for that I thank you.
1687
01:26:14,400 --> 01:26:15,716
But I refuse
1688
01:26:15,916 --> 01:26:17,233
to be controlled
1689
01:26:17,275 --> 01:26:19,525
by anyone other than God.
1690
01:26:19,567 --> 01:26:21,817
I follow my own path.
1691
01:26:21,859 --> 01:26:23,175
Yeah, and you want
1692
01:26:23,375 --> 01:26:24,692
others to follow you.
1693
01:26:26,233 --> 01:26:26,033
Perhaps it's best
1694
01:26:26,233 --> 01:26:29,567
if we mail you your diploma
1695
01:26:29,608 --> 01:26:30,884
and that you not
1696
01:26:31,084 --> 01:26:32,359
attend the ceremony.
1697
01:26:37,401 --> 01:26:37,201
I don't know if I
1698
01:26:37,401 --> 01:26:39,860
can stay here anymore.
1699
01:26:39,901 --> 01:26:42,109
Where will we go?
1700
01:26:43,818 --> 01:26:45,442
"We"?
1701
01:26:47,193 --> 01:26:51,235
Uh, I've been praying
1702
01:26:51,235 --> 01:26:51,435
about it.
1703
01:26:52,277 --> 01:26:54,861
About us.
1704
01:26:54,902 --> 01:26:54,702
I told God
1705
01:26:54,902 --> 01:26:58,402
how I feel about you
1706
01:26:58,443 --> 01:27:00,072
and how much
1707
01:27:00,272 --> 01:27:01,903
you mean to me.
1708
01:27:01,944 --> 01:27:04,111
And you know what?
1709
01:27:06,069 --> 01:27:05,869
I was consumed
1710
01:27:06,069 --> 01:27:08,820
with nothing but peace.
1711
01:27:08,862 --> 01:27:12,027
Pure peace.
1712
01:27:15,319 --> 01:27:17,778
I love you.
1713
01:27:18,779 --> 01:27:20,779
I love you too.
1714
01:27:53,989 --> 01:27:56,823
"And be not conformed
1715
01:27:56,823 --> 01:27:56,665
to this world,
1716
01:27:56,865 --> 01:27:56,665
"but be you transformed
1717
01:27:56,865 --> 01:28:00,947
by the renewing of your mind
1718
01:28:00,989 --> 01:28:04,614
"that you may prove that good,
1719
01:28:04,656 --> 01:28:07,948
glorious and perfect
1720
01:28:07,948 --> 01:28:08,148
will of God."
1721
01:28:10,657 --> 01:28:13,115
"That you may know
1722
01:28:13,115 --> 01:28:12,957
that good,
1723
01:28:13,157 --> 01:28:16,907
acceptable and perfect
1724
01:28:16,907 --> 01:28:17,107
will of God."
1725
01:28:23,825 --> 01:28:25,825
♪♪
1726
01:28:46,784 --> 01:28:48,288
Which would you
1727
01:28:48,488 --> 01:28:49,992
prefer to have?
1728
01:28:50,033 --> 01:28:51,329
Frosted Flakes
1729
01:28:51,529 --> 01:28:52,826
or Fruit Loops?
1730
01:28:52,868 --> 01:28:56,410
Well, obviously Fruit Loops.
1731
01:28:56,410 --> 01:28:56,251
Why obviously?
1732
01:28:56,451 --> 01:28:58,410
I think you're a Fruit Loop.
1733
01:29:18,077 --> 01:29:19,706
There you are.
1734
01:29:19,906 --> 01:29:21,536
Are you okay?
1735
01:29:22,952 --> 01:29:24,952
Yeah, I'm fine.
1736
01:29:35,328 --> 01:29:38,120
You get everything?
1737
01:29:38,120 --> 01:29:38,320
Mm-hmm.
1738
01:29:41,246 --> 01:29:42,187
These are going
1739
01:29:42,387 --> 01:29:43,329
to storage.
1740
01:29:51,037 --> 01:29:52,541
Well, so you can have
1741
01:29:52,741 --> 01:29:53,393
a little more room
1742
01:29:53,593 --> 01:29:54,246
for your shoes?
1743
01:29:54,288 --> 01:29:56,163
Shut up.
1744
01:29:56,204 --> 01:29:57,209
I have never seen anyone
1745
01:29:57,409 --> 01:29:58,414
with more shoes than you.
1746
01:29:58,455 --> 01:29:59,501
You can never have
1747
01:29:59,701 --> 01:30:00,747
too many shoes.
1748
01:30:12,664 --> 01:30:14,665
Get those outta here.
1749
01:30:33,791 --> 01:30:35,374
Hello.
1750
01:30:35,416 --> 01:30:35,216
1751
01:30:35,416 --> 01:30:37,416
Hi.
1752
01:30:41,332 --> 01:30:43,082
Hi.
1753
01:30:45,333 --> 01:30:47,292
How are you?
1754
01:30:47,333 --> 01:30:49,167
Good.
1755
01:30:50,167 --> 01:30:52,333
I finished school,
1756
01:30:52,375 --> 01:30:53,691
but I'm no longer
1757
01:30:53,891 --> 01:30:55,208
on their path.
1758
01:30:56,709 --> 01:30:56,509
So, what path
1759
01:30:56,709 --> 01:31:00,041
are you on now?
1760
01:31:00,083 --> 01:31:02,084
My own.
1761
01:31:02,126 --> 01:31:01,926
I'm going to be the pastor
1762
01:31:02,126 --> 01:31:06,001
of my own church.
1763
01:31:09,334 --> 01:31:12,209
Why are you calling?
1764
01:31:12,251 --> 01:31:14,084
Um...
1765
01:31:15,209 --> 01:31:17,669
I, uh...
1766
01:31:17,711 --> 01:31:18,860
I got the picture
1767
01:31:19,060 --> 01:31:20,210
you sent of Olly.
1768
01:31:20,252 --> 01:31:20,052
I know it was months ago,
1769
01:31:20,252 --> 01:31:22,335
but I didn't respond.
1770
01:31:22,377 --> 01:31:24,502
So, how is she?
1771
01:31:26,502 --> 01:31:29,002
She's getting old.
1772
01:31:29,043 --> 01:31:30,193
But she's okay.
1773
01:31:30,393 --> 01:31:31,544
She has this
1774
01:31:31,586 --> 01:31:31,386
stuffed animal that she
1775
01:31:31,586 --> 01:31:34,378
carries around with her now
1776
01:31:34,420 --> 01:31:34,220
everywhere she goes,
1777
01:31:34,420 --> 01:31:36,961
like it's her baby, or...
1778
01:31:37,003 --> 01:31:40,211
1779
01:31:42,378 --> 01:31:45,712
Bennett, I should tell you
1780
01:31:45,753 --> 01:31:48,337
before someone else does.
1781
01:31:48,379 --> 01:31:50,671
I'm engaged
1782
01:31:50,713 --> 01:31:55,838
to a really amazing woman.
1783
01:31:55,880 --> 01:31:55,680
Now, I know
1784
01:31:55,880 --> 01:31:57,880
what you're thinking,
1785
01:31:57,921 --> 01:31:57,721
because I asked myself
1786
01:31:57,921 --> 01:32:00,588
the same thing...
1787
01:32:00,629 --> 01:32:02,629
am I really in love with her,
1788
01:32:02,671 --> 01:32:04,630
or am I only doing this
1789
01:32:04,672 --> 01:32:07,505
to be right in God's eyes?
1790
01:32:07,547 --> 01:32:07,347
A-And I am truly
1791
01:32:07,547 --> 01:32:11,755
in love with her, Bennett.
1792
01:32:13,380 --> 01:32:14,884
God went to the root
1793
01:32:15,084 --> 01:32:16,589
of my same-sex desires,
1794
01:32:16,630 --> 01:32:19,172
and He uprooted them.
1795
01:32:19,213 --> 01:32:19,013
He demonstrated
1796
01:32:19,213 --> 01:32:22,047
that they were abnormal.
1797
01:32:22,089 --> 01:32:21,889
Michael, I'm really glad
1798
01:32:22,089 --> 01:32:25,506
you think you're happy...
1799
01:32:29,423 --> 01:32:31,381
and I wish you all the best.
1800
01:32:31,423 --> 01:32:31,223
I really do.
1801
01:32:31,423 --> 01:32:34,214
I think you know that.
1802
01:32:34,256 --> 01:32:37,299
But I have no idea
1803
01:32:37,340 --> 01:32:37,140
why you would call me up
1804
01:32:37,340 --> 01:32:40,632
and use words like "abnormal."
1805
01:32:42,883 --> 01:32:42,683
I'm so sorry for the way
1806
01:32:42,883 --> 01:32:47,299
that things went down.
1807
01:32:47,340 --> 01:32:49,883
But just because we don't
1808
01:32:49,924 --> 01:32:51,884
share certain beliefs,
1809
01:32:51,884 --> 01:32:53,512
it doesn't mean
1810
01:32:53,712 --> 01:32:54,426
that we can't
1811
01:32:54,626 --> 01:32:55,341
still be friends.
1812
01:32:58,758 --> 01:33:00,966
I'll always be your friend.
1813
01:33:03,133 --> 01:33:07,300
I really hope that this path
1814
01:33:07,341 --> 01:33:07,141
takes you
1815
01:33:07,341 --> 01:33:10,759
where you wanna go.
1816
01:33:10,801 --> 01:33:15,050
But I also hope that
1817
01:33:15,092 --> 01:33:16,305
as you're setting out
1818
01:33:16,505 --> 01:33:17,718
to help other people,
1819
01:33:17,759 --> 01:33:19,534
that you really take some time
1820
01:33:19,734 --> 01:33:21,509
to help yourself.
1821
01:33:24,427 --> 01:33:28,051
I... I am. I...
1822
01:33:28,093 --> 01:33:27,893
I'm not gonna
1823
01:33:28,093 --> 01:33:30,177
sit here and say
1824
01:33:30,218 --> 01:33:30,018
that I know I'll be this way
1825
01:33:30,218 --> 01:33:34,677
for the rest of my life.
1826
01:33:34,719 --> 01:33:38,552
We're always changing,
1827
01:33:38,552 --> 01:33:38,394
evolving,
1828
01:33:38,594 --> 01:33:40,803
and I'm open to that.
1829
01:33:46,052 --> 01:33:48,052
Then...
1830
01:33:49,428 --> 01:33:51,057
I guess nothing's
1831
01:33:51,257 --> 01:33:52,887
really changed.
1832
01:33:52,928 --> 01:33:55,387
Yeah.
1833
01:33:57,137 --> 01:33:56,937
You take care
1834
01:33:57,137 --> 01:33:59,429
of yourself, okay?
1835
01:34:02,095 --> 01:34:04,095
Good-bye, Michael.
1836
01:34:07,846 --> 01:34:09,429
Bye.
1837
01:34:28,431 --> 01:34:31,556
♪♪
1838
01:34:52,765 --> 01:34:54,724
♪♪
1839
01:34:54,765 --> 01:34:56,307
Here they come.
1840
01:36:07,270 --> 01:36:07,070
1841
01:36:07,270 --> 01:36:10,061
♪ Every finger in the room ♪
1842
01:36:10,103 --> 01:36:12,937
♪ Is pointing at me ♪
1843
01:36:12,978 --> 01:36:15,770
♪ I wanna spit in their faces ♪
1844
01:36:15,812 --> 01:36:15,612
♪ Then I get afraid
1845
01:36:15,812 --> 01:36:18,605
of what that could bring ♪
1846
01:36:18,646 --> 01:36:18,445
♪ Got a bowling ball
1847
01:36:18,646 --> 01:36:21,438
in my stomach ♪
1848
01:36:21,479 --> 01:36:25,271
♪ I got a desert in my mouth ♪
1849
01:36:25,313 --> 01:36:25,113
♪ Figures that my courage
1850
01:36:25,313 --> 01:36:29,938
would choose to sell out now ♪
1851
01:36:29,979 --> 01:36:29,779
♪ I've been looking
1852
01:36:29,979 --> 01:36:29,779
for a savior
1853
01:36:29,979 --> 01:36:35,606
in these dirty streets ♪
1854
01:36:35,647 --> 01:36:35,447
♪ Looking for a savior
1855
01:36:35,647 --> 01:36:41,272
beneath these dirty sheets ♪
1856
01:36:41,314 --> 01:36:41,114
♪ I've been
1857
01:36:41,314 --> 01:36:44,355
raising up my hands ♪
1858
01:36:44,397 --> 01:36:46,939
♪ Drive another nail in ♪
1859
01:36:46,980 --> 01:36:49,731
♪ Just what God needs ♪
1860
01:36:49,772 --> 01:36:52,607
♪ One more victim ♪
1861
01:36:52,648 --> 01:36:55,398
♪ Why do we ♪
1862
01:36:55,440 --> 01:36:58,273
♪ Crucify ourselves ♪
1863
01:36:58,315 --> 01:37:01,064
♪ Every day ♪
1864
01:37:01,106 --> 01:37:03,607
♪ I crucify myself ♪
1865
01:37:03,648 --> 01:37:03,448
♪ And nothing I do
1866
01:37:03,648 --> 01:37:06,733
is good enough for you ♪
1867
01:37:06,774 --> 01:37:09,608
♪ I crucify myself ♪
1868
01:37:09,649 --> 01:37:12,441
♪ Every day ♪
1869
01:37:12,482 --> 01:37:14,941
♪ I crucify myself ♪
1870
01:37:14,982 --> 01:37:17,774
♪ My heart is sick of being ♪
1871
01:37:17,816 --> 01:37:17,616
♪ I say my heart
1872
01:37:17,816 --> 01:37:20,608
is sick of being ♪
1873
01:37:20,649 --> 01:37:25,233
♪ In chai-ai-ains ♪
1874
01:37:25,275 --> 01:37:27,025
♪ Oh-oh ♪
1875
01:37:27,066 --> 01:37:30,942
♪ Chai-ai-ains ♪
1876
01:37:30,983 --> 01:37:33,150
♪ Oh-oh ♪
1877
01:37:33,192 --> 01:37:32,992
♪ Got a kick for a dog
1878
01:37:33,192 --> 01:37:37,901
beggin' for love ♪
1879
01:37:37,942 --> 01:37:37,742
♪ I gotta have my suffering
1880
01:37:37,942 --> 01:37:43,568
so that I can have my cross ♪
1881
01:37:43,610 --> 01:37:46,193
♪ I know a cat named Easter ♪
1882
01:37:46,234 --> 01:37:46,034
♪ He says,
1883
01:37:46,234 --> 01:37:49,776
"Will you ever learn?" ♪
1884
01:37:49,818 --> 01:37:49,618
♪ You're just an empty cage,
1885
01:37:49,818 --> 01:37:55,360
girl, if you kill the bird ♪
1886
01:37:55,402 --> 01:37:55,202
♪ I've been looking
1887
01:37:55,402 --> 01:37:57,903
for a savior
1888
01:37:57,944 --> 01:38:01,569
♪ In these dirty streets ♪
1889
01:38:01,611 --> 01:38:01,411
♪ Looking for a savior
1890
01:38:01,611 --> 01:38:06,777
beneath these dirty sheets ♪
1891
01:38:06,819 --> 01:38:06,619
♪ I've been
1892
01:38:06,819 --> 01:38:09,777
raising up my hands ♪
1893
01:38:09,820 --> 01:38:12,528
♪ Drive another nail in ♪
1894
01:38:12,570 --> 01:38:12,370
♪ Got enough guilt to start
1895
01:38:12,570 --> 01:38:18,195
my own religion ♪
1896
01:38:18,236 --> 01:38:20,486
♪ Why do we ♪
1897
01:38:20,528 --> 01:38:23,403
♪ Crucify ourselves ♪
1898
01:38:23,445 --> 01:38:26,154
♪ Every day ♪
1899
01:38:26,196 --> 01:38:28,987
♪ I crucify myself ♪
1900
01:38:29,029 --> 01:38:28,829
♪ And nothing I do
1901
01:38:29,029 --> 01:38:31,946
is good enough for you ♪
1902
01:38:31,987 --> 01:38:34,905
♪ I crucify myself ♪
1903
01:38:34,946 --> 01:38:37,738
♪ Every day ♪
1904
01:38:37,779 --> 01:38:40,404
♪ I crucify myself ♪
1905
01:38:40,446 --> 01:38:43,113
♪ My heart is sick of being ♪
1906
01:38:43,155 --> 01:38:42,955
♪ I say my heart
1907
01:38:43,155 --> 01:38:45,614
is sick of being ♪
1908
01:38:45,655 --> 01:38:50,488
♪ In chai-ai-ains ♪
1909
01:38:50,530 --> 01:38:52,363
♪ Oh-oh ♪
1910
01:38:52,405 --> 01:38:56,197
♪ Chai-ai-ains ♪
1911
01:38:56,238 --> 01:38:58,198
♪ Oh-oh ♪
1912
01:38:58,239 --> 01:39:03,907
♪ Please be ♪
1913
01:39:03,948 --> 01:39:06,656
♪ Save ♪
1914
01:39:06,698 --> 01:39:09,823
♪ Me ♪
1915
01:39:09,865 --> 01:39:12,656
♪ I ♪
1916
01:39:12,698 --> 01:39:17,741
♪ Cry ♪
1917
01:39:17,782 --> 01:39:21,240
♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh ♪
1918
01:39:21,282 --> 01:39:21,082
♪ Looking for a savior
1919
01:39:21,282 --> 01:39:26,990
in these dirty streets ♪
1920
01:39:27,032 --> 01:39:26,832
♪ Looking for a savior
1921
01:39:27,032 --> 01:39:32,116
beneath these dirty sheets ♪
1922
01:39:32,158 --> 01:39:31,958
♪ I've been
1923
01:39:32,158 --> 01:39:35,200
raising up my hands ♪
1924
01:39:35,241 --> 01:39:37,867
♪ Drive another nail in ♪
1925
01:39:37,909 --> 01:39:37,709
♪ Where are those angels
1926
01:39:37,909 --> 01:39:43,742
when you need them? ♪
1927
01:39:43,783 --> 01:39:45,743
♪ Why do we ♪
1928
01:39:45,784 --> 01:39:48,618
♪ Crucify ourselves ♪
1929
01:39:48,659 --> 01:39:51,409
♪ Every day ♪
1930
01:39:51,451 --> 01:39:53,951
♪ I crucify myself ♪
1931
01:39:53,992 --> 01:39:53,792
♪ And nothing I do
1932
01:39:53,992 --> 01:39:57,075
is good enough for you ♪
1933
01:39:57,117 --> 01:39:59,951
♪ I crucify myself ♪
1934
01:39:59,992 --> 01:40:02,785
♪ Every day ♪
1935
01:40:02,827 --> 01:40:05,285
♪ I crucify myself ♪
1936
01:40:05,327 --> 01:40:08,118
♪ My heart is sick of being ♪
1937
01:40:08,160 --> 01:40:07,960
♪ I say my heart
1938
01:40:08,160 --> 01:40:10,952
is sick of being ♪
1939
01:40:10,993 --> 01:40:15,577
♪ In chai-ai-ains ♪
1940
01:40:15,619 --> 01:40:17,536
♪ Oh-oh ♪
1941
01:40:17,578 --> 01:40:21,328
♪ Chai-ai-ains ♪
1942
01:40:21,369 --> 01:40:23,870
♪ Why do we ♪
1943
01:40:23,912 --> 01:40:23,712
♪ Chains ♪
1944
01:40:23,912 --> 01:40:27,828
♪ Crucify ourselves ♪
1945
01:40:27,870 --> 01:40:27,670
♪ Every day ♪
1946
01:40:27,870 --> 01:40:30,536
♪ Why do we ♪
1947
01:40:30,578 --> 01:40:30,378
♪ Crucify ourselves ♪
1948
01:40:30,578 --> 01:40:33,537
♪♪
1949
01:40:33,579 --> 01:40:33,379
♪ Why do we ♪
1950
01:40:33,579 --> 01:40:35,787
♪ No ♪
1951
01:40:35,829 --> 01:40:35,629
♪ Chains, oh, yeah ♪
1952
01:40:35,829 --> 01:40:39,495
♪ Crucify ourselves ♪
1953
01:40:39,537 --> 01:40:39,337
♪ Why do we ♪
1954
01:40:39,537 --> 01:40:42,787
♪ Yeah, chains ♪
1955
01:40:42,829 --> 01:40:42,629
♪ Crucify ourselves ♪
1956
01:40:42,829 --> 01:40:45,162
♪♪
1957
01:40:45,204 --> 01:40:45,004
♪ Why do we ♪
1958
01:40:45,204 --> 01:40:47,829
♪ Never going back again ♪
1959
01:40:47,871 --> 01:40:47,671
♪ I crucify myself ♪
1960
01:40:47,871 --> 01:40:50,580
♪ Crucify ourselves ♪
1961
01:40:50,622 --> 01:40:50,422
♪ Again, you know ♪
1962
01:40:50,622 --> 01:40:53,121
♪ Why do we ♪
1963
01:40:53,163 --> 01:40:52,963
♪ Never going back again
1964
01:40:53,163 --> 01:40:54,538
to crucify myself ♪
1965
01:40:54,580 --> 01:40:56,747
♪ Crucify ourselves ♪
1966
01:40:56,788 --> 01:41:01,330
♪ Every day, yeah ♪
150627
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