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1
00:00:07,974 --> 00:00:10,226
How's your coffee?
2
00:00:10,261 --> 00:00:12,479
Oh, good. Good.
3
00:00:12,979 --> 00:00:13,980
Yours?
4
00:00:14,015 --> 00:00:15,232
Very nice.
5
00:00:15,267 --> 00:00:16,414
That's good.
6
00:00:16,449 --> 00:00:21,254
Marty... we have no reason
to be uncomfortable.
7
00:00:22,455 --> 00:00:24,856
We're two consenting adults.
8
00:00:24,891 --> 00:00:27,777
What about your husband?
He never consented.
9
00:00:27,812 --> 00:00:30,489
Stan loved you, Martin,
and he loved me.
10
00:00:30,524 --> 00:00:33,166
If anything,
he's up in heaven right now
11
00:00:33,201 --> 00:00:35,033
watching us and smiling.
12
00:00:35,068 --> 00:00:37,837
You don't think he was watching
the whole time, do you?
13
00:00:38,805 --> 00:00:40,807
Not if heaven gets ESPN.
14
00:00:42,175 --> 00:00:43,643
Come on, now,
stop feeling guilty.
15
00:00:43,678 --> 00:00:44,476
Okay.
16
00:00:44,511 --> 00:00:46,196
Hello, Dad!
17
00:00:46,231 --> 00:00:47,846
Oh, Fras!
18
00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:49,349
You remember Claire
Wojadubakowski?
19
00:00:49,384 --> 00:00:50,348
Yes, of course.
20
00:00:50,383 --> 00:00:52,185
Hello,
Mrs. Wojadubakowski.
21
00:00:52,220 --> 00:00:53,451
Good to see
you again.
22
00:00:53,486 --> 00:00:55,755
Gosh, I'm sorry again
about your loss.
23
00:00:55,790 --> 00:00:56,554
Oh, thank you.
24
00:00:56,589 --> 00:00:58,323
He was a good man,
your husband.
25
00:00:58,358 --> 00:01:00,091
Dad's often said
if it weren't for Stan,
26
00:01:00,126 --> 00:01:01,127
he wouldn't have made it
through the academy.
27
00:01:01,162 --> 00:01:02,594
Isn't that right?
That's right.
28
00:01:02,629 --> 00:01:04,631
And didn't he lend you
the money for you first car?
29
00:01:04,666 --> 00:01:06,550
Yeah... yeah,
he did.
30
00:01:06,585 --> 00:01:08,394
Of course,
we all owe him
31
00:01:08,429 --> 00:01:10,203
for introducing Dad
to Mom.
32
00:01:10,238 --> 00:01:11,970
Oh, God...
33
00:01:12,005 --> 00:01:14,641
You know, Marty,
I think we'd better go.
34
00:01:14,676 --> 00:01:15,373
Oh, of course.
35
00:01:15,408 --> 00:01:17,410
Well, Claire, it was lovely
seeing you again.
36
00:01:17,977 --> 00:01:19,946
Uh, please give my regards
to your son, Martin.
37
00:01:19,981 --> 00:01:22,348
Oh, God...
38
00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:25,984
Oh, hi, Roz.
39
00:01:26,019 --> 00:01:27,921
Hey, Frasier. Why don't you join me?
40
00:01:27,956 --> 00:01:29,788
Well, aren't you
here with Niles?
41
00:01:29,823 --> 00:01:31,624
No. Actually, I haven't been
seeing much of Niles lately.
42
00:01:31,659 --> 00:01:33,059
He spends all his time with Mel.
43
00:01:33,094 --> 00:01:34,359
Uh...
44
00:01:34,394 --> 00:01:36,796
Well, that's what happens at
the beginning of relationships.
45
00:01:36,831 --> 00:01:38,063
Can I have a decaf latte,
please?
46
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:39,864
Yes, and I'll have my usual.
Thank you.
47
00:01:39,899 --> 00:01:42,368
Gosh, I do hope he hasn't
forgotten me completely.
48
00:01:42,403 --> 00:01:43,954
We have wine club
tonight.
49
00:01:43,989 --> 00:01:46,482
I'm sort of counting
on him
50
00:01:46,517 --> 00:01:48,940
to help me
become Corkmaster.
51
00:01:48,975 --> 00:01:50,910
But you'll still keep
yoursecretidentity
52
00:01:50,945 --> 00:01:53,278
as Frasier
Crane, right?
53
00:01:53,313 --> 00:01:56,216
Corkmaster is the most
prestigious position
54
00:01:56,251 --> 00:01:57,182
in our club.
55
00:01:57,217 --> 00:01:58,683
If elected, I plan to have
vertical tastings
56
00:01:58,718 --> 00:02:01,404
and guest speakers,
perhaps even a trip to Portugal
57
00:02:01,439 --> 00:02:04,090
where some of the world's
finest corks come from.
58
00:02:04,125 --> 00:02:05,992
I wish I had a cork right now.
59
00:02:06,027 --> 00:02:08,326
That's very funny, Roz.
60
00:02:08,361 --> 00:02:10,413
Anyway, I do hope
Niles shows up.
61
00:02:10,448 --> 00:02:12,457
You know, Mel has a way
of making him
62
00:02:12,492 --> 00:02:14,432
change his mind
at the last minute.
63
00:02:14,467 --> 00:02:17,303
You know, I think
she's a bit manipulative.
64
00:02:17,338 --> 00:02:18,870
Based on what?
65
00:02:18,905 --> 00:02:22,207
Well... I don't know, a feeling.
66
00:02:22,242 --> 00:02:24,077
So you really don't
know her that well?
67
00:02:24,112 --> 00:02:25,410
That's true.
68
00:02:25,445 --> 00:02:26,446
You know,
I really haven't given her
69
00:02:26,481 --> 00:02:27,846
much of a chance, I suppose.
70
00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:30,116
Well, I suppose
I could put together a...
71
00:02:30,151 --> 00:02:31,985
a little
get-to-know-you event-
72
00:02:32,020 --> 00:02:33,785
a- a Sunday brunch,
perhaps.
73
00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:35,989
There you go. Yes,
that's a good idea, Roz.
74
00:02:36,024 --> 00:02:38,092
Of course, I don't want
to make it seem
75
00:02:38,127 --> 00:02:40,160
like she's under
the family microscope.
76
00:02:40,660 --> 00:02:41,661
You know, maybe
you could come along.
77
00:02:41,696 --> 00:02:42,662
Oh, I guess I could.
78
00:02:42,697 --> 00:02:43,428
Great!
79
00:02:43,463 --> 00:02:46,366
Oh, and by Sunday,
you'll be Corkman.
80
00:02:46,401 --> 00:02:49,869
Corkmaster.
Thank you, Roz.
81
00:02:49,904 --> 00:02:50,835
Actually, I won't know
82
00:02:50,870 --> 00:02:52,071
until after the election
tonight,
83
00:02:52,106 --> 00:02:53,238
but you know,
I'll let you know.
84
00:02:53,273 --> 00:02:56,643
Or I could just look up
in the sky for the cork signal.
85
00:02:56,678 --> 00:02:57,909
Very amusing, Roz.
86
00:02:57,944 --> 00:02:59,846
If you win, I'd love a
ride in the Corkmobile.
87
00:02:59,881 --> 00:03:01,848
All right, Roz!
88
00:03:06,886 --> 00:03:09,821
Niles?
89
00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:12,859
Oh, don't you look
dashing!
90
00:03:14,761 --> 00:03:17,263
I brought you a nice bottle
of Cheval Blanc...
91
00:03:17,298 --> 00:03:19,063
Oh! ... to impress the wine club.
92
00:03:19,098 --> 00:03:21,434
Mrs. Briggs gave it to me
as a thank-you
93
00:03:21,469 --> 00:03:23,837
after her last face lift.
94
00:03:23,872 --> 00:03:26,171
61? I don't believe it!
95
00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:29,576
Yes, that's what they're saying
about Mrs. Briggs.
96
00:03:29,611 --> 00:03:31,077
Oh, this is the
perfect occasion
97
00:03:31,112 --> 00:03:32,043
for me to bring
this wine.
98
00:03:32,078 --> 00:03:34,113
We're electing a new
president tonight.
99
00:03:34,148 --> 00:03:35,580
Oh?
Yes.
100
00:03:35,615 --> 00:03:37,582
And I promised Frasier I'd nominate him.
101
00:03:37,617 --> 00:03:39,619
Oh, did I mention brunch
at Frasier's tomorrow?
102
00:03:39,654 --> 00:03:41,419
Oh, yes, darling.
103
00:03:41,454 --> 00:03:43,256
Well, I'm so happy
my rare and expensive bottle
104
00:03:43,291 --> 00:03:45,557
will benefit your brother.
105
00:03:45,592 --> 00:03:46,893
Oh, that tie's all wrong.
Let me?
106
00:03:46,928 --> 00:03:48,359
Yes, of course,
of course.
107
00:03:48,394 --> 00:03:49,896
Yes, well, uh,
ever since the day
108
00:03:49,931 --> 00:03:51,362
he joined the
wine club,
109
00:03:51,397 --> 00:03:53,766
Frasier's dreamed
of becoming Corkmaster.
110
00:03:53,801 --> 00:03:55,066
Oh...
111
00:03:55,101 --> 00:03:56,768
good choice.
112
00:03:56,803 --> 00:03:59,137
I think it's wonderful-
I really do-
113
00:03:59,172 --> 00:04:01,674
helping your brother win
this prestigious post.
114
00:04:01,709 --> 00:04:03,141
Well, Frasier deserves it.
115
00:04:03,176 --> 00:04:05,678
Because, uh, he knows more
about wine than you do.
116
00:04:05,713 --> 00:04:07,478
I wouldn't say that.
117
00:04:07,513 --> 00:04:09,698
Well, he's probably been
in the club longer.
118
00:04:09,733 --> 00:04:11,884
No, actually, I
sponsored his membership.
119
00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:14,387
Oh! Well, so you've
never wanted
120
00:04:14,422 --> 00:04:16,156
that honor for yourself?
121
00:04:16,191 --> 00:04:17,855
I wouldn't saynever.
122
00:04:17,890 --> 00:04:19,892
Who hasn't nursed
the dream
123
00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:21,859
of one day becoming
Corkmaster?
124
00:04:21,894 --> 00:04:24,397
Well, I'm sure Frasier
at least asked
125
00:04:24,432 --> 00:04:26,864
if you were interested.
126
00:04:26,899 --> 00:04:29,902
Well, now that you mention it,
no, he didn't.
127
00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:31,336
Oh.
128
00:04:31,371 --> 00:04:34,138
And you don't
resent it?
129
00:04:34,173 --> 00:04:36,943
Well... you see,
that's why I love you.
130
00:04:36,978 --> 00:04:39,244
Because most
people would.
131
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:42,148
I would... bitterly,
but then, I'm not you,
132
00:04:42,183 --> 00:04:43,650
and I don't know
what's best for you.
133
00:04:44,150 --> 00:04:45,485
And now the jacket's wrong.
134
00:04:46,886 --> 00:04:48,387
You think I should
call him on this?
135
00:04:48,422 --> 00:04:50,623
Oh, please, the last
thing I want to do
136
00:04:50,658 --> 00:04:52,790
is come between you
and your brother.
137
00:04:52,825 --> 00:04:55,261
He knows perfectly well
how much I've coveted this post.
138
00:04:55,296 --> 00:04:57,280
I distinctly confided
my aspirations to him
139
00:04:57,315 --> 00:04:59,265
the night Judge Rivington
fell off the ferry
140
00:04:59,300 --> 00:05:02,000
after the spring tasting.
141
00:05:02,035 --> 00:05:03,303
Well, I'm sure
he just forgot.
142
00:05:03,338 --> 00:05:05,305
No, no, don't
defend him.
143
00:05:05,340 --> 00:05:06,704
Here.
144
00:05:06,739 --> 00:05:08,308
He's always putting
himself first,
145
00:05:08,343 --> 00:05:09,809
and I always let him.
146
00:05:09,844 --> 00:05:10,775
Why, Niles?
147
00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:11,743
Oh, I don't know.
148
00:05:11,778 --> 00:05:12,779
I think perhaps
it's because...
149
00:05:13,279 --> 00:05:14,746
I'll tell you why.
150
00:05:14,781 --> 00:05:16,282
Because you can't
see yourself
151
00:05:16,317 --> 00:05:18,718
for what you really are.
152
00:05:18,753 --> 00:05:21,120
You are a powerful...
153
00:05:21,155 --> 00:05:22,920
sexy...
154
00:05:22,955 --> 00:05:28,728
dynamic colossus
of a man.
155
00:05:28,763 --> 00:05:30,096
In other words...
156
00:05:30,630 --> 00:05:35,101
the perfect Corkmaster.
157
00:05:35,635 --> 00:05:37,887
I am, aren't I?
158
00:05:37,922 --> 00:05:40,104
Don't let anyone...
159
00:05:40,139 --> 00:05:44,644
anyoneever take that
away from you.
160
00:05:46,479 --> 00:05:47,980
And now that's all
I'm going to say,
161
00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:48,946
because I love you
162
00:05:48,981 --> 00:05:51,451
and I don't
want to meddle.
163
00:05:55,088 --> 00:05:57,555
Oh, Niles, finally you're here!
164
00:05:57,590 --> 00:05:58,990
Sorry I'm late.
No, that's all right.
165
00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:00,509
It's just that the
nominations are about to begin.
166
00:06:00,544 --> 00:06:01,994
Now, look, here's what
I thought we would do:
167
00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:02,894
After you nominate me,
168
00:06:02,929 --> 00:06:04,814
I will demure modestly
for a moment
169
00:06:04,849 --> 00:06:06,699
and then I'll say
something like...
170
00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:08,266
I want to be Corkmaster.
171
00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:11,037
Well, that's a bit
artless, don't you think?
172
00:06:11,072 --> 00:06:13,523
No, no. I want
to be Corkmaster, too.
173
00:06:13,558 --> 00:06:15,940
I covet this post
as much as you do.
174
00:06:15,975 --> 00:06:18,427
I always have, and I think
I deserve a shot at it.
175
00:06:18,462 --> 00:06:20,880
But, Niles, I've been
campaigning for this all week.
176
00:06:20,915 --> 00:06:22,382
I was counting on
you to nominate me.
177
00:06:22,417 --> 00:06:23,648
And I will.
178
00:06:23,683 --> 00:06:25,450
I'm just hoping
that you'll return the favor...
179
00:06:25,485 --> 00:06:28,037
unless, that is, you're afraid
of a little competition.
180
00:06:28,072 --> 00:06:30,555
May I have
your attention?
181
00:06:30,590 --> 00:06:34,359
My friends,
as outgoing Corkmaster,
182
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:36,729
I would like to thank
those of you who stuck with me
183
00:06:36,764 --> 00:06:39,999
during the ugly days
of Spritzergate.
184
00:06:40,034 --> 00:06:42,018
But the time
has come
185
00:06:42,053 --> 00:06:44,179
to pass the tasting cup.
186
00:06:44,214 --> 00:06:46,305
Are there any nominations?
187
00:06:46,340 --> 00:06:47,572
Niles?
188
00:06:47,607 --> 00:06:49,073
It is an honor
and a privilege
189
00:06:49,108 --> 00:06:51,944
to nominate my brother,
Frasier Crane.
190
00:06:51,979 --> 00:06:53,778
Fine.
191
00:06:53,813 --> 00:06:55,146
Any others?
192
00:06:55,181 --> 00:06:59,051
Yes. I would like
to, uh, reciprocate
193
00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:02,054
and nominate...
my brother,
194
00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:03,521
Niles Crane.
195
00:07:03,556 --> 00:07:05,490
Oh. Well done.
196
00:07:05,525 --> 00:07:07,460
And are there any
further nominations?
197
00:07:07,495 --> 00:07:09,360
Well, then, um...
198
00:07:09,395 --> 00:07:10,294
a show of hands, please,
199
00:07:10,329 --> 00:07:12,414
for those in favor
of Frasier Crane.
200
00:07:12,449 --> 00:07:14,465
One, two, three,
four, five, six,
201
00:07:14,500 --> 00:07:17,270
seven, eight, nine,
ten, 11, 12, 13...
202
00:07:17,305 --> 00:07:18,536
14.
203
00:07:18,571 --> 00:07:21,374
And those in favor
of Niles Crane.
204
00:07:21,409 --> 00:07:23,007
One, two, three,
four, five,
205
00:07:23,042 --> 00:07:27,246
six, seven, eight, nine,
ten, 11, 12, 13.
206
00:07:27,281 --> 00:07:30,114
Oh! 14.
207
00:07:30,149 --> 00:07:32,417
Oh, a tie.
208
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:35,254
If only our venerable founder
Virgil Hefflewhite
209
00:07:35,289 --> 00:07:36,506
were here to guide us.
210
00:07:36,541 --> 00:07:37,688
I'm over here!
211
00:07:37,723 --> 00:07:41,227
Oh, sorry, Virgil.
I didn't see you.
212
00:07:41,262 --> 00:07:45,264
So, uh, what is
the procedure?
213
00:07:46,232 --> 00:07:49,168
Blind taste-off.
Five bottles.
214
00:07:59,712 --> 00:08:01,646
Oh, for God's
sake, Niles!
215
00:08:01,681 --> 00:08:03,616
That wine spent less time
in the bottle.
216
00:08:03,651 --> 00:08:05,349
All right,
gentlemen,
217
00:08:05,384 --> 00:08:07,220
you have correctly identified
the first three wines.
218
00:08:07,255 --> 00:08:09,722
Let's see if number four
can break the tie.
219
00:08:09,757 --> 00:08:11,155
Niles?
220
00:08:11,190 --> 00:08:14,193
It was ripe, round
and thoroughly seductive.
221
00:08:14,228 --> 00:08:17,628
I said... Australian Shiraz.
222
00:08:17,663 --> 00:08:20,500
Uh-huh. And Frasier,
what did you think?
223
00:08:20,535 --> 00:08:21,833
Well, contrary to my brother,
224
00:08:21,868 --> 00:08:25,338
I thought it was dark,
dusky and supple...
225
00:08:25,373 --> 00:08:29,876
but I also said
Australian Shiraz.
226
00:08:29,911 --> 00:08:31,812
You're both right!
227
00:08:31,847 --> 00:08:33,530
We're still tied.
228
00:08:33,565 --> 00:08:35,179
Well, Niles...
229
00:08:35,214 --> 00:08:36,682
it's the moment of truth.
230
00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:38,549
Don't choke.
231
00:08:38,584 --> 00:08:39,917
Please. Prepare
to be stomped
232
00:08:39,952 --> 00:08:42,722
like a late-harvest
Gewurztraminer.
233
00:09:01,107 --> 00:09:02,842
Gentlemen?
234
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:09,715
It was jammy, plummy,
dense and chewy.
235
00:09:12,051 --> 00:09:13,317
There is no doubt in my mind
236
00:09:13,352 --> 00:09:16,322
that it was
a Napa Valley Merlot.
237
00:09:17,723 --> 00:09:19,190
And you, Frasier?
238
00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:21,993
A nice, big wine
with excellent heft.
239
00:09:22,028 --> 00:09:25,064
It's Napa, all right,
but as I always say,
240
00:09:25,099 --> 00:09:28,100
"Why go Merlot
when you can call a cab?"
241
00:09:28,135 --> 00:09:30,835
Well...
242
00:09:30,870 --> 00:09:33,304
I thought this bottle
might trip you up.
243
00:09:33,339 --> 00:09:39,211
Gentlemen, it's actually a blend
of 45% cabernet...
244
00:09:39,246 --> 00:09:39,979
And...?
245
00:09:40,780 --> 00:09:42,281
And 55% Merlot!
246
00:09:42,782 --> 00:09:44,183
Niles wins
by ten percent!
247
00:09:50,523 --> 00:09:52,857
Well, Niles,
congratulations.
248
00:09:52,892 --> 00:09:54,660
Obviously, the better
man won, and...
249
00:09:54,695 --> 00:09:56,260
Frasier, please.
250
00:09:56,295 --> 00:09:57,029
No, Niles,
don't be modest.
251
00:09:57,064 --> 00:09:57,795
No, I wasn't.
252
00:09:57,830 --> 00:09:58,731
They're starting
my inauguration.
253
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:03,067
d Hail Corkmaster d
254
00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:05,903
d The master of the cork d
255
00:10:05,938 --> 00:10:10,659
d He knows which wine goes
with fish or pork d
256
00:10:10,694 --> 00:10:15,381
d Hail Corkmaster,
the master of the cork... d
257
00:10:18,184 --> 00:10:20,519
The whole purpose of this brunch
is to get to know Mel better,
258
00:10:20,554 --> 00:10:21,752
but it irks the hell out of me
259
00:10:21,787 --> 00:10:24,255
preparing a-a sumptuous brunch
for Niles
260
00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:26,342
after the way he betrayed me
at the wine club.
261
00:10:26,377 --> 00:10:29,637
Oh, would you shut up
about that Corkmaster thing?
262
00:10:29,672 --> 00:10:32,898
I already hate you for putting
that song in my head.
263
00:10:32,933 --> 00:10:35,835
Okay, it's all clear.
264
00:10:41,374 --> 00:10:43,309
Thanks for dropping
off my Tupperware.
265
00:10:43,344 --> 00:10:45,343
Oh, oh, it's
no trouble at all.
266
00:10:45,378 --> 00:10:47,678
I was headed out
to church this morning...
267
00:10:47,713 --> 00:10:51,584
...and I thought,
"Oh, Marty's right on the way. "
268
00:10:51,619 --> 00:10:54,353
What's the matter with us?
Oh, Martin,
269
00:10:54,388 --> 00:10:56,287
we have done nothing wrong.
270
00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:58,824
I mean, maybe we were
a little impetuous,
271
00:10:58,859 --> 00:11:01,158
but that's no crime.
272
00:11:01,193 --> 00:11:02,426
Yeah, I guess you're right.
273
00:11:02,461 --> 00:11:03,829
Well, listen,
thanks for dropping by,
274
00:11:03,864 --> 00:11:05,631
and-and I'll
call you.
275
00:11:07,900 --> 00:11:09,166
Mrs. Wojadubakowski.
276
00:11:09,201 --> 00:11:11,203
Yeah, look who
just got here!
277
00:11:11,238 --> 00:11:13,205
Come on in.
How are you?
278
00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:15,039
Fine, fine.
279
00:11:15,074 --> 00:11:16,976
I didn't even hear
the doorbell ring.
280
00:11:17,011 --> 00:11:18,909
What brings you here?
281
00:11:18,944 --> 00:11:20,946
Oh, she just, uh, brought me
back my chili bowl.
282
00:11:20,981 --> 00:11:21,912
Oh.
283
00:11:21,947 --> 00:11:23,949
Well, thanks a lot,
and I'll see you later.
284
00:11:23,984 --> 00:11:25,816
No, Dad, where
are your manners?
285
00:11:25,851 --> 00:11:27,253
Why don't you join us
for brunch, Claire?
286
00:11:27,288 --> 00:11:28,719
I insist.
287
00:11:28,754 --> 00:11:31,257
I'm not sure that we'll be able
to give you a treat
288
00:11:31,292 --> 00:11:33,726
as spicy as the one
that Dad gave you, but...
289
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:39,415
Yes, he does make
very good chili.
290
00:11:39,450 --> 00:11:41,098
Isn't that
flattering, Dad?
291
00:11:41,133 --> 00:11:43,302
You know, I think
someone wants seconds.
292
00:11:46,072 --> 00:11:47,323
Uh, Fras, could I see you
293
00:11:47,358 --> 00:11:48,574
in the kitchen
for a minute?
294
00:11:48,609 --> 00:11:49,507
Yes, of course.
295
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,010
Uh, Claire, you'll
make yourself at home.
296
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:56,580
Oh, splendid idea, Roz-
Bloody Marys.
297
00:11:56,615 --> 00:11:58,784
You know, why don't you offer
one of those to Claire?
298
00:11:58,819 --> 00:11:59,618
Oh, I don't think
she's got time.
299
00:11:59,653 --> 00:12:01,085
I'll ask her.
300
00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:04,123
Mrs. Wojadubakowski,
Mr. Crane was wondering
301
00:12:04,158 --> 00:12:07,059
if you have time
for a quick one?
302
00:12:10,129 --> 00:12:12,314
Look, uh, Frasier,
there's something
303
00:12:12,349 --> 00:12:14,500
you should know
about me and Claire.
304
00:12:14,535 --> 00:12:17,303
We just slept together.
305
00:12:18,204 --> 00:12:19,704
Are you sure?
306
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:22,641
She just got here
two minutes ago.
307
00:12:22,676 --> 00:12:24,008
She was here earlier.
308
00:12:24,043 --> 00:12:25,509
I just don't know
what came over us.
309
00:12:25,544 --> 00:12:27,346
You know, we couldn't keep
our hands off each other.
310
00:12:27,381 --> 00:12:30,149
We were like animals
or sex-crazed teenagers.
311
00:12:30,184 --> 00:12:31,615
Well, what's wrong
with that?
312
00:12:31,650 --> 00:12:32,651
Well, I'll tell you
what's wrong with that.
313
00:12:32,686 --> 00:12:34,418
She's Stan's widow.
314
00:12:34,453 --> 00:12:37,723
I mean, he didn't even like it
when I borrowed his lawn mower.
315
00:12:37,758 --> 00:12:38,656
Dad, listen,
316
00:12:38,691 --> 00:12:40,409
Stan's been gone a while now.
317
00:12:40,444 --> 00:12:42,093
I mean, you're not teenagers.
318
00:12:42,128 --> 00:12:43,129
You're two mature people
reaching out
319
00:12:43,164 --> 00:12:44,631
for some companionship.
320
00:12:44,666 --> 00:12:46,098
I think it's adorable.
321
00:12:46,133 --> 00:12:48,065
"Adorable"?
322
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:50,603
Oh, good morning,
Dr. Crane.
323
00:12:50,638 --> 00:12:51,905
Hello, Daphne.
324
00:12:51,940 --> 00:12:53,137
My, isn't that
325
00:12:53,172 --> 00:12:54,138
a beautiful outfit?
326
00:12:54,173 --> 00:12:56,175
Oh, thank you, Dr. Crane.
How sweet.
327
00:12:56,210 --> 00:12:58,144
So just beep me
if you need me.
328
00:12:58,179 --> 00:12:59,610
Oh, greetings, all.
329
00:12:59,645 --> 00:13:01,547
Uh, Mel, I think
you know everyone.
330
00:13:01,582 --> 00:13:02,780
Hello, Mel.
Hello.
331
00:13:02,815 --> 00:13:05,317
Oh, Mrs. Wojadubakowski,
what a nice surprise.
332
00:13:05,352 --> 00:13:06,819
Uh, this is
Mel Karnofsky.
333
00:13:06,854 --> 00:13:07,785
Hello.
334
00:13:07,820 --> 00:13:08,786
It's a pleasure
to meet you.
335
00:13:08,821 --> 00:13:11,657
Martin, I really have
to be getting to church.
336
00:13:11,692 --> 00:13:12,990
Oh, yeah, sure, okay.
337
00:13:13,025 --> 00:13:14,526
Well, I'll
just walk you out.
338
00:13:14,561 --> 00:13:15,795
And by the way,
I'm so sorry
339
00:13:15,830 --> 00:13:17,614
to hear
about your husband.
340
00:13:17,649 --> 00:13:19,363
Oh, thank you,
thank you.
341
00:13:19,398 --> 00:13:22,134
I understand Dad's been doing
what he can to fill the void.
342
00:13:24,003 --> 00:13:26,237
See you.
343
00:13:26,272 --> 00:13:27,538
May I pour you
344
00:13:27,573 --> 00:13:29,074
a Bloody Mary, Mel?
Not for me.
345
00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:30,309
It's a little early in the day
346
00:13:30,344 --> 00:13:31,510
for hard liquor,
don't you think?
347
00:13:31,545 --> 00:13:35,279
Not anymore.
348
00:13:35,314 --> 00:13:37,216
Niles, let's get this
gravlax in the refrigerator.
349
00:13:37,251 --> 00:13:39,718
Oh, hello, Eddie.
Or should I say good-bye?
350
00:13:39,753 --> 00:13:41,637
Huh? Well, Martin, I'm sure you'll be
351
00:13:41,672 --> 00:13:43,487
locking Eddie
out on the balcony
352
00:13:43,522 --> 00:13:46,258
if people are going
to be eating here.
353
00:13:46,293 --> 00:13:48,661
Boy, I'll tell you
who I'd like
354
00:13:48,696 --> 00:13:51,698
to lock out
on the balcony.
355
00:13:51,733 --> 00:13:54,017
Oh, please, let it be me.
356
00:13:54,052 --> 00:13:56,267
Now, now, may
I remind you
357
00:13:56,302 --> 00:13:58,153
that we are having
this little brunch
358
00:13:58,188 --> 00:14:00,198
in order to get acquainted
with Mel.
359
00:14:00,233 --> 00:14:02,208
We owe it to Niles
to give her a chance.
360
00:14:02,243 --> 00:14:03,474
I agree with
Dr. Crane.
361
00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:07,780
We should all have
another Bloody Mary.
362
00:14:07,815 --> 00:14:09,566
I didn't say that.
363
00:14:09,601 --> 00:14:11,209
It was implied.
364
00:14:11,244 --> 00:14:12,431
Oh, Frasier,
365
00:14:12,466 --> 00:14:13,619
I almost forgot.
366
00:14:14,053 --> 00:14:17,056
The Corkmaster and I
brought this along for you.
367
00:14:17,091 --> 00:14:18,557
Oh, well,
thank you very much.
368
00:14:18,592 --> 00:14:19,423
It's a lovely bottle.
369
00:14:19,458 --> 00:14:21,293
I guess, uh, Niles
must have told you
370
00:14:21,328 --> 00:14:23,045
about his
eleventh-hour victory.
371
00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:24,763
Oh, yes, and I'm
so proud of him.
372
00:14:24,798 --> 00:14:25,663
Well, let's
give credit
373
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:28,601
where credit's
due- to Mel.
374
00:14:28,636 --> 00:14:29,867
To Mel?
375
00:14:29,902 --> 00:14:32,169
Well, yes, it was her
idea that I should run.
376
00:14:32,204 --> 00:14:35,608
Really? Well... perhaps I'll
just put this around the corner
377
00:14:35,643 --> 00:14:39,545
before the cork flies out
and hits someone.
378
00:14:42,514 --> 00:14:43,981
So, after all
these years
379
00:14:44,016 --> 00:14:46,919
of doing tummy tucks
and liposuctions,
380
00:14:46,954 --> 00:14:49,787
I can look
at a fully-clothed person
381
00:14:49,822 --> 00:14:52,691
and see exactly
what they look like naked.
382
00:14:52,726 --> 00:14:55,960
I can see every
sag, droop,
383
00:14:55,995 --> 00:14:58,796
ripple and pucker.
384
00:14:58,831 --> 00:15:00,232
It's like X-ray vision.
385
00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:03,100
How interesting.
386
00:15:03,135 --> 00:15:06,188
I think I'll go
check on breakfast.
387
00:15:06,223 --> 00:15:09,241
Let me give you
a hand with that.
388
00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:16,146
When you invited me,
389
00:15:16,181 --> 00:15:19,018
did you say "brunch for Mel"
or "brunch from hell"?
390
00:15:19,053 --> 00:15:23,654
Oh! That woman
is unbearable.
391
00:15:23,689 --> 00:15:25,456
Well, guess
who's allergic to Eddie?
392
00:15:25,491 --> 00:15:28,427
She wants a glass of water
to take her pill with.
393
00:15:28,462 --> 00:15:29,762
You know what I can't stand?
394
00:15:30,229 --> 00:15:31,764
All that
"sweety-dearie-darling" stuff.
395
00:15:31,799 --> 00:15:34,133
I've never met anybody so phony.
396
00:15:34,168 --> 00:15:36,468
Hello, dear.
Here's your water.
397
00:15:36,503 --> 00:15:38,936
Thank you, Martin.
398
00:15:38,971 --> 00:15:42,339
Well, Frasier, I'm afraid
I have some bad news.
399
00:15:42,374 --> 00:15:45,678
Mm, I just got beeped
by my service and I have to go.
400
00:15:45,713 --> 00:15:47,311
Oh, gosh, I'm so sorry.
401
00:15:47,346 --> 00:15:48,180
Thank you for brunch,
though.
402
00:15:48,215 --> 00:15:49,647
Thanks for inviting me.
403
00:15:49,682 --> 00:15:52,184
It's such a civilized way
to spend an afternoon.
404
00:15:52,219 --> 00:15:55,187
d With her head tucked
underneath her arm d
405
00:15:55,222 --> 00:15:58,155
d She walks the bloody tower. d
406
00:15:58,190 --> 00:16:00,492
You know who that
song's about, don't you?
407
00:16:00,527 --> 00:16:01,592
Bloody Mary?
408
00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:03,362
Oh, don't mind if I do.
409
00:16:05,397 --> 00:16:07,700
Well, anyway,
I- I'd better go.
410
00:16:07,735 --> 00:16:09,135
Darling,
I have your coat.
411
00:16:09,170 --> 00:16:10,501
I'll walk you
to the elevator.
412
00:16:10,536 --> 00:16:14,340
Well, thank you all
for a lovely afternoon.
413
00:16:14,375 --> 00:16:15,539
Yes, bye, Mel.
Bye.
414
00:16:15,574 --> 00:16:16,874
Lovely to see you.
415
00:16:16,909 --> 00:16:18,978
Well, that's
a blessing.
416
00:16:19,478 --> 00:16:20,980
Now we can enjoy
our breakfast.
417
00:16:21,015 --> 00:16:22,446
I doubt it.
418
00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:24,483
I was only allowed to make
a cheese-free,
419
00:16:24,518 --> 00:16:26,917
mushroom-free,
fat-free frittata,
420
00:16:26,952 --> 00:16:29,788
thanks to the girl
in the plastic bubble.
421
00:16:30,589 --> 00:16:33,058
I think
I'll order a pizza.
422
00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:36,245
You know...
I have half a mind
423
00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:38,462
to say something
to Niles.
424
00:16:38,497 --> 00:16:40,399
He is making a terrible
mistake with that woman.
425
00:16:40,434 --> 00:16:41,632
Now, Frasier...
426
00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:43,302
But, Dad, it is Maris
all over again!
427
00:16:43,337 --> 00:16:44,902
She's dominating him,
emasculating him.
428
00:16:44,937 --> 00:16:46,371
Look, I don't like her
any more than you do,
429
00:16:46,406 --> 00:16:48,374
and God knows we've been
through this before.
430
00:16:48,409 --> 00:16:50,376
I didn't like Lilith,
we both didn't like Maris,
431
00:16:50,411 --> 00:16:52,312
and you boys sure as
hell didn't like Sherry,
432
00:16:52,347 --> 00:16:54,214
but what good did it
do talking about it?
433
00:16:54,249 --> 00:16:56,046
But he's repeating
a terrible pattern.
434
00:16:56,081 --> 00:16:58,017
Well, he's going to repeat
it whether you like it or not,
435
00:16:58,052 --> 00:16:59,518
and if you say anything,
you're just going
436
00:16:59,553 --> 00:17:01,270
to drive a wedge
between you,
437
00:17:01,305 --> 00:17:03,231
so nobody's going
to say a word.
438
00:17:03,266 --> 00:17:05,157
Well, it's a shame
Mel had to leave.
439
00:17:05,192 --> 00:17:06,457
Oh, yeah, yeah.
440
00:17:06,492 --> 00:17:07,493
You know, we were having
such a good time.
441
00:17:07,528 --> 00:17:09,760
Yes, Niles.
442
00:17:09,795 --> 00:17:11,997
Actually, I was nervous
bringing her over here.
443
00:17:12,032 --> 00:17:14,066
I was concerned...
I was concerned
444
00:17:14,101 --> 00:17:15,032
what you'd think,
you know,
445
00:17:15,067 --> 00:17:17,369
getting to really know her
the first time.
446
00:17:18,137 --> 00:17:19,370
So?
447
00:17:19,405 --> 00:17:21,171
Ooh!
448
00:17:21,206 --> 00:17:23,542
I'm going to go let Eddie in.
449
00:17:23,577 --> 00:17:24,308
Come on, seriously.
450
00:17:24,343 --> 00:17:25,811
I- I-I-I want you
to be totally honest.
451
00:17:25,846 --> 00:17:26,777
Really. Tell me.
452
00:17:26,812 --> 00:17:28,697
What do you think
of Mel?
453
00:17:28,732 --> 00:17:30,541
Oh, I don't
like her at all.
454
00:17:30,576 --> 00:17:32,351
She's bossy and fussy and mean.
455
00:17:32,851 --> 00:17:33,784
She's all wrong for you.
456
00:17:33,819 --> 00:17:37,256
Yes, I need
a large pepperoni pizza.
457
00:17:37,291 --> 00:17:39,423
Yeah, and some
cheese bread.
458
00:17:39,458 --> 00:17:42,661
I'm sure
she didn't mean that, Niles.
459
00:17:43,529 --> 00:17:46,964
Well... that was startling.
460
00:17:46,999 --> 00:17:48,467
Yes, well, don't take
that seriously, Niles.
461
00:17:48,502 --> 00:17:50,186
You know how women
sometimes just form
462
00:17:50,221 --> 00:17:51,870
irrational dislikes
for one another.
463
00:17:51,905 --> 00:17:53,238
Oh! That's great.
464
00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:56,575
I leave the room for one second,
and you rat me out.
465
00:17:56,610 --> 00:17:57,743
No, Roz...
No, that's okay.
466
00:17:57,778 --> 00:17:58,877
I don't have
anything to hide,
467
00:17:58,912 --> 00:18:00,277
and I'm not irrational.
468
00:18:00,312 --> 00:18:05,284
She's pushy, demanding
and a gigantic pain in the ass.
469
00:18:07,319 --> 00:18:11,755
I'd dump her
like radioactive waste.
470
00:18:11,790 --> 00:18:15,527
Well, so that's two of you
in the anti-Mel camp.
471
00:18:15,562 --> 00:18:19,264
Oh, did you tell him
what you thought of Mel, too?
472
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:24,470
No, Daphne did.
473
00:18:24,505 --> 00:18:25,838
Oops.
474
00:18:27,673 --> 00:18:29,406
Frasier?
475
00:18:29,441 --> 00:18:31,310
I just think she's-she's
Maris all over again.
476
00:18:31,345 --> 00:18:32,276
She's manipulative.
477
00:18:32,311 --> 00:18:33,812
I think you're repeating
a terrible pattern.
478
00:18:33,847 --> 00:18:34,778
Oh, well,
isn't this neat?
479
00:18:34,813 --> 00:18:37,282
We all have our individual
reasons for disliking her.
480
00:18:37,317 --> 00:18:38,183
Hey, Dad,
what's your reason
481
00:18:38,218 --> 00:18:39,149
for disliking Mel?
482
00:18:39,184 --> 00:18:41,120
So you did tell him
what you think of her!
483
00:18:41,155 --> 00:18:42,488
And after shoving
me into the kitchen
484
00:18:43,021 --> 00:18:46,325
and shaking your
freakin' finger at me.
485
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,226
She's crazy, Niles.
486
00:18:49,261 --> 00:18:50,662
I- I-I don't know
what she's talking about.
487
00:18:50,697 --> 00:18:51,962
No, no,
that's all right, Dad.
488
00:18:51,997 --> 00:18:55,000
I, uh... I asked you all
to be honest, and you were.
489
00:18:55,035 --> 00:18:56,001
I got my answer.
490
00:18:57,269 --> 00:18:59,187
You know, what would
have been nice
491
00:18:59,222 --> 00:19:01,665
is if one of you
could have found
492
00:19:01,700 --> 00:19:04,109
one nice thing to say about her.
493
00:19:10,749 --> 00:19:14,286
She does have
that X-ray vision.
494
00:19:23,262 --> 00:19:25,295
Did you talk
to Niles?
495
00:19:25,330 --> 00:19:28,834
Mm. I left a couple
of messages, but no answer.
496
00:19:29,334 --> 00:19:32,271
I think he's going to have
to stay mad for a while.
497
00:19:32,306 --> 00:19:33,170
Yeah, well,
498
00:19:33,205 --> 00:19:34,505
that was a hell of a brunch
499
00:19:34,540 --> 00:19:36,808
all the way around
for you as well as me.
500
00:19:37,609 --> 00:19:39,111
Dad, if you're talking
about what happened
501
00:19:39,146 --> 00:19:41,078
with you
and Mrs. Wojadubakowski,
502
00:19:41,113 --> 00:19:42,581
I mean, you have nothing
to be ashamed of.
503
00:19:42,616 --> 00:19:45,048
Yeah, yeah, I guess.
504
00:19:45,083 --> 00:19:46,585
So you're going
to see her again?
505
00:19:46,620 --> 00:19:48,051
Oh, I don't know.
506
00:19:48,086 --> 00:19:50,121
I don't think it's
going to work out.
507
00:19:50,156 --> 00:19:52,122
You're not still feeling guilty,
are you?
508
00:19:52,157 --> 00:19:53,525
No. What you said
made a lot of sense.
509
00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:56,195
I just think
it's run its course.
510
00:19:56,230 --> 00:19:59,031
Hmm. Well,
I have a theory.
511
00:19:59,066 --> 00:20:01,465
Oh, geez.
512
00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:03,500
No, no, hear me out.
513
00:20:03,535 --> 00:20:05,037
I think by giving you
my approval
514
00:20:05,072 --> 00:20:05,869
to sleep with Claire,
515
00:20:05,904 --> 00:20:07,738
I've made it
less exciting for you.
516
00:20:07,773 --> 00:20:09,708
There was a certain illicitness
to the relationship
517
00:20:09,743 --> 00:20:11,542
that gave it a kind of piquancy.
518
00:20:11,577 --> 00:20:14,479
Frasier, it's Sunday.
Take the day off.
519
00:20:14,514 --> 00:20:15,946
Wait, Mr. Crane,
520
00:20:15,981 --> 00:20:17,316
you slept with Mrs.
Wojadubakowski?
521
00:20:17,351 --> 00:20:18,549
Yes, I did.
522
00:20:18,584 --> 00:20:21,018
Isn't that adorable?
523
00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:24,389
No, it's disgusting,
you dirty old man.
524
00:20:26,158 --> 00:20:27,491
Sleeping with that poor widow
525
00:20:27,526 --> 00:20:29,461
before her husband's even cold
in the ground.
526
00:20:29,496 --> 00:20:30,479
You think that was wrong?
527
00:20:30,514 --> 00:20:31,656
You're damn
right I do.
528
00:20:31,691 --> 00:20:33,345
You ought to
be ashamed.
529
00:20:33,380 --> 00:20:34,965
See, I told
you, Frasier.
530
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:37,868
We live in a
civilized society,
531
00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:40,237
and there are certain
rules we have to live by.
532
00:20:40,272 --> 00:20:45,877
We all have impulses we'd like
to explore, but we don't.
533
00:20:45,912 --> 00:20:47,579
Daphne?
534
00:20:49,982 --> 00:20:51,381
Well...
535
00:20:51,416 --> 00:20:53,784
we can't just go
chasing anyone you fancy
536
00:20:53,819 --> 00:20:56,288
just because you're
suddenly attracted to them.
537
00:20:56,323 --> 00:20:57,823
There are certain
things you don't do
538
00:20:57,858 --> 00:21:00,876
no matter how
tempted you are.
539
00:21:00,911 --> 00:21:03,070
Boy, that was strange,
wasn't it?
540
00:21:03,105 --> 00:21:05,230
I don't think
it was strange at all.
541
00:21:05,731 --> 00:21:07,983
It made a lot of sense to me.
542
00:21:08,018 --> 00:21:10,235
Where the hell
are you going?
543
00:21:10,736 --> 00:21:14,239
Well, I'd better get over
to Claire's and apologize.
544
00:21:14,274 --> 00:21:17,676
And, uh, don't wait up
for me, Frasier.
545
00:21:17,711 --> 00:21:20,779
I got a lot
of apologizing to do.
546
00:21:26,551 --> 00:21:29,104
d Hey, baby,
I hear the blues a'callin'd
547
00:21:29,139 --> 00:21:31,657
d Tossed salads
and scrambled eggs d
548
00:21:31,692 --> 00:21:33,523
d Mercy d
549
00:21:33,558 --> 00:21:36,277
d And maybe
I seem a bit confused d
550
00:21:36,312 --> 00:21:38,997
d Well, maybe,
but I got you pegged d
551
00:21:40,966 --> 00:21:42,733
d But I don't know what to do d
552
00:21:42,768 --> 00:21:46,605
d With those tossed salads
and scrambled eggs d
553
00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:49,439
d They're callin' again. d
554
00:21:49,474 --> 00:21:52,778
Good night, Seattle!
We love you!
39428
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