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00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
Everyone is intimidated by a shark. Become
a Card Shark AMERICASCARDROOM.COM
2
00:00:12,380 --> 00:00:17,880
♪ I bet we've been together
for a million years ♪
3
00:00:17,910 --> 00:00:23,150
♪ and I'll bet we'll be together
for a million more ♪
4
00:00:23,180 --> 00:00:26,080
♪ oh, it's like
I started breathing ♪
5
00:00:26,110 --> 00:00:28,880
♪ on the night we kissed
6
00:00:28,910 --> 00:00:34,110
♪ and I can't remember
what I ever did before ♪
7
00:00:34,150 --> 00:00:37,080
♪ what would we do, baby
8
00:00:37,110 --> 00:00:39,850
♪ without us?
9
00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:42,480
♪ what would we do, baby
10
00:00:42,510 --> 00:00:45,110
♪ without us?
11
00:00:45,150 --> 00:00:47,750
♪ and there ain't no nothin' ♪
12
00:00:47,780 --> 00:00:49,550
♪ we can't love
each other through ♪
13
00:00:49,580 --> 00:00:51,010
♪ ooh-hoo
14
00:00:51,050 --> 00:00:54,110
♪ what would we do, baby
15
00:00:54,150 --> 00:00:56,750
♪ without us?
16
00:00:56,780 --> 00:01:00,280
♪ sha-la-la-la
17
00:01:04,330 --> 00:01:06,130
Okay, Dad, I'm ready.
18
00:01:06,170 --> 00:01:08,700
I got the ground cloth,
tent, and canteen.
19
00:01:08,730 --> 00:01:12,000
I've got the tackle box,
the lantern, the stove.
20
00:01:12,030 --> 00:01:15,270
The stove? I thought we were
really gonna rough it,
21
00:01:15,300 --> 00:01:17,700
live off the land,
cook on an open fire.
22
00:01:17,730 --> 00:01:19,470
Well, if it were up to me,
Jennifer, we would,
23
00:01:19,500 --> 00:01:20,560
but let's face it,
24
00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:23,280
I don't think your
brother or your sister
25
00:01:23,320 --> 00:01:25,970
share our enthusiasm
for the great outdoors.
26
00:01:30,100 --> 00:01:32,770
All right,
let's get this over with.
27
00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:36,070
We're going to be camping,
Alex, not gathering honey.
28
00:01:36,100 --> 00:01:38,430
Why limit ourselves, Dad?
29
00:01:41,470 --> 00:01:43,270
Can one of you fit this
in your backpack for me?
30
00:01:43,300 --> 00:01:45,130
I don't have any more room
in here.
31
00:01:45,170 --> 00:01:47,200
What are you going to do
with the hair dryer, Mallory?
32
00:01:47,230 --> 00:01:48,970
We're going to be out
in the middle of nowhere.
33
00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:50,990
Where are you gonna
plug it in?
34
00:01:51,020 --> 00:01:52,970
Aren't we bringing
any outlets?
35
00:01:56,870 --> 00:01:59,570
Uh, why don't you kids start
getting the car packed?
36
00:02:02,670 --> 00:02:05,070
Hey, why don't you bring every
article of clothing you own?
37
00:02:05,100 --> 00:02:06,500
You know,
we can move out of the tent.
38
00:02:06,540 --> 00:02:08,270
You can use it as a closet.
39
00:02:09,670 --> 00:02:11,500
You'd do that for me?
40
00:02:15,340 --> 00:02:16,790
Oh, I'm glad you're still here.
41
00:02:16,820 --> 00:02:18,200
I was afraid
I was gonna miss you.
42
00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:19,840
You're sure to don't want
to come with us?
43
00:02:19,870 --> 00:02:20,970
Oh, honey, I can't.
44
00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:23,470
I got to get this
project finished by Monday.
45
00:02:23,500 --> 00:02:26,170
I've been so tired lately,
I wouldn't be much fun anyway.
46
00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:27,470
I don't know what's wrong.
47
00:02:27,500 --> 00:02:29,700
I just haven't had
my normal energy for weeks.
48
00:02:29,740 --> 00:02:31,670
Maybe the kids and I should stay
home this weekend.
49
00:02:31,700 --> 00:02:33,030
Oh, come on. I... I'm fine.
50
00:02:33,070 --> 00:02:35,440
You guys have been looking
forward to this for a long time.
51
00:02:35,470 --> 00:02:38,340
Well, I would hate
to break Alex's heart.
52
00:02:38,370 --> 00:02:40,490
He does so love the woods.
53
00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:42,570
You go have a good time.
54
00:02:42,600 --> 00:02:44,970
There's nothing to worry about.
I saw Dr. Carlson yesterday,
55
00:02:45,010 --> 00:02:46,830
and she gave me
every test there is.
56
00:02:46,870 --> 00:02:49,140
She said I'm a perfectly
healthy human specimen
57
00:02:49,170 --> 00:02:50,920
at the peak of my womanhood.
58
00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:52,670
My sentiments precisely.
59
00:02:56,500 --> 00:02:58,170
I feel like a piece
of day-old liver.
60
00:02:59,870 --> 00:03:03,070
Don't go getting me
all excited, Elyse.
61
00:03:03,110 --> 00:03:05,370
I've got to take
the kids camping.
62
00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:07,540
Okay, Dad, let's go.
I'm not getting any younger.
63
00:03:07,570 --> 00:03:09,770
All right, I'm ready.
64
00:03:09,810 --> 00:03:11,440
We'll grab some breakfast
on the road.
65
00:03:11,470 --> 00:03:13,060
You sure you can't
come with us, Mom?
66
00:03:13,090 --> 00:03:14,600
Oh, I've got too much
work to do.
67
00:03:14,640 --> 00:03:16,800
All right, well, it's not going
to be the same without you.
68
00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:19,110
Who's gonna chop
the firewood?
69
00:03:19,140 --> 00:03:21,340
I will, as usual.
70
00:03:22,710 --> 00:03:24,440
I just want everyone to see
71
00:03:24,470 --> 00:03:28,110
that in the spirit
of getting back to nature,
72
00:03:28,140 --> 00:03:31,740
I've decided to go
with a clear nail polish.
73
00:03:46,870 --> 00:03:48,270
Hello, Mrs. Keaton.
74
00:03:48,310 --> 00:03:51,040
I hope I'm not too late.
75
00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:52,340
Huh?
76
00:03:52,370 --> 00:03:54,600
Mallory invited me
to lunch today.
77
00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:56,740
Oh, Mallory's not here.
She's gone camping.
78
00:03:57,670 --> 00:03:59,870
Camping?
79
00:03:59,910 --> 00:04:02,040
I see.
80
00:04:02,070 --> 00:04:03,940
This is this Saturday,
isn't it?
81
00:04:03,970 --> 00:04:07,610
Well, Mallory's been planning
on going camping for weeks.
82
00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:10,810
That explains why she invited
me.
83
00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:12,720
Well, it's all right.
84
00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:14,610
I don't need lunch.
85
00:04:16,240 --> 00:04:18,440
Of course,
I didn't have any breakfast.
86
00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:21,210
You know, breakfast, the most
important meal of the day,
87
00:04:21,240 --> 00:04:22,410
which, of course, lunch becomes
88
00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:25,410
if you haven't eaten
any breakfast,
89
00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:27,870
which I haven't.
90
00:04:27,910 --> 00:04:29,710
How does peanut butter
and jelly sound?
91
00:04:29,740 --> 00:04:33,340
Well, my mother always says
I should have a hot lunch.
92
00:04:33,380 --> 00:04:34,970
I'll heat it for you.
93
00:04:35,010 --> 00:04:37,710
Great. It's really lonely
at my house.
94
00:04:37,740 --> 00:04:40,880
My parents went to Dayton
for a symposium on aging:
95
00:04:40,910 --> 00:04:43,440
"Making the most
of your twilight years. "
96
00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:45,980
I can see why you choose
not to join them.
97
00:04:46,010 --> 00:04:47,640
Yeah. I think I got all I could
98
00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:50,240
out of the first two
in the series.
99
00:04:50,280 --> 00:04:52,540
Make yourself at home, Skippy.
100
00:04:52,580 --> 00:04:54,310
Thanks.
Yeah, actually,
101
00:04:54,340 --> 00:04:55,470
I'm kind of glad you dropped by.
102
00:04:55,510 --> 00:04:57,110
It was getting a little
lonely here for me
103
00:04:57,150 --> 00:04:58,110
with everybody gone.
104
00:04:58,140 --> 00:04:59,710
Well, Mrs. Keaton,
don't you worry,
105
00:04:59,740 --> 00:05:01,740
I'll make you
an excellent companion.
106
00:05:01,780 --> 00:05:03,740
Would you care for a game of jacks? No.
107
00:05:03,780 --> 00:05:05,740
Or perhaps some yo-yo tricks?
108
00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:15,980
Hello?
109
00:05:17,280 --> 00:05:19,430
Oh, hi, Dr. Carlson.
How are you?
110
00:05:19,460 --> 00:05:21,580
Oh, you do.
Okay, yeah, go ahead.
111
00:05:23,210 --> 00:05:24,840
No.
112
00:05:25,980 --> 00:05:27,380
What? No.
113
00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:30,280
No, I-I don't believe you.
114
00:05:30,310 --> 00:05:31,410
No!
115
00:05:32,580 --> 00:05:34,450
Doctor, wait a minute,
you...
116
00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:35,640
I don't believe this.
117
00:05:35,680 --> 00:05:37,480
Y- y-you said it was
virtually impossible...
118
00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:40,910
We did.
119
00:05:42,010 --> 00:05:44,180
I am.
120
00:05:44,210 --> 00:05:46,010
No.
121
00:05:46,050 --> 00:05:47,810
Really?
122
00:05:51,950 --> 00:05:53,450
Okay, okay.
123
00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:54,550
Bye.
124
00:05:57,250 --> 00:05:58,930
What is it, Mrs. Keaton?
125
00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:00,610
Nothing.
Why do you ask?
126
00:06:03,380 --> 00:06:05,880
No reason.
127
00:06:05,910 --> 00:06:08,340
Steve. Steven.
128
00:06:08,380 --> 00:06:10,040
I've got to call Steven.
129
00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:12,180
He's in a tent.
He's in the woods.
130
00:06:12,210 --> 00:06:14,250
Didn't take a phone
in the tent.
131
00:06:14,280 --> 00:06:17,080
I don't believe this.
This is incredible.
132
00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:18,650
There must be some mistake.
133
00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:19,650
She's a doctor.
134
00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:21,080
She knows what
she's talking about.
135
00:06:24,410 --> 00:06:26,280
Mrs. Keaton, are you sick?
136
00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:28,050
No. I feel fine.
137
00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:29,780
That's great.
138
00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:35,380
Skippy, you're not
gonna believe this.
139
00:06:35,420 --> 00:06:36,580
What?
140
00:06:38,310 --> 00:06:40,310
We're going to have a baby.
141
00:06:43,650 --> 00:06:45,310
We are?
142
00:06:53,850 --> 00:06:56,250
Gitchee, gitchee, gitchee,
gitchee, gitchee.
143
00:06:56,920 --> 00:06:59,530
Oh, Steven.
144
00:06:59,570 --> 00:07:02,070
Steven. Oh.
145
00:07:02,110 --> 00:07:04,550
Uh, Steven.
146
00:07:04,580 --> 00:07:07,980
Sit down for a second.
Let me tell you something.
147
00:07:08,020 --> 00:07:10,650
Uh, do you remember that weekend
148
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:13,150
we spent at that
bed and breakfast place
149
00:07:13,180 --> 00:07:15,280
and skipped breakfast?
150
00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:18,450
No.
151
00:07:21,380 --> 00:07:25,050
Steven, how many people
do you think are in this room?
152
00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:30,820
No.
153
00:07:32,650 --> 00:07:34,550
Steven, Steven,
154
00:07:34,580 --> 00:07:36,330
do you remember
how you always said
155
00:07:36,370 --> 00:07:38,080
that we have the three
most wonderful,
156
00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:39,880
thoughtful,
considerate children
157
00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:40,850
in the whole world?
158
00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:43,780
Those are the three
most selfish,
159
00:07:43,820 --> 00:07:47,150
spoiled, inconsiderate
children in the world.
160
00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:51,350
What happened? How come
you're home a day early?
161
00:07:51,390 --> 00:07:53,820
Elyse, this is not my idea
of a relaxing drive
162
00:07:53,850 --> 00:07:54,980
up into the mountains:
163
00:07:57,480 --> 00:07:58,480
Oh.
164
00:08:00,020 --> 00:08:01,580
Alex, it's an honest mistake.
165
00:08:01,620 --> 00:08:03,720
It could have
happened to anybody.
166
00:08:03,750 --> 00:08:06,450
Not anybody who walks erect.
167
00:08:06,490 --> 00:08:07,680
What happened?
168
00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:09,080
Well, thanks to Mallory,
169
00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:10,790
we went camping without a tent.
170
00:08:10,820 --> 00:08:12,420
Wait a minute.
I saw your dad
171
00:08:12,450 --> 00:08:14,320
put the tent
in the trunk himself.
172
00:08:14,350 --> 00:08:16,620
Yeah, Mom, what you didn't see
was Mallory taking the tent
173
00:08:16,660 --> 00:08:19,090
out of the trunk to make room
for her makeup table.
174
00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:21,770
I didn't think
it was anything important.
175
00:08:21,810 --> 00:08:24,380
I thought it was just
Alex's sleeping bag.
176
00:08:24,420 --> 00:08:27,250
Where was I supposed to sleep,
Mallory, in a tree?
177
00:08:27,290 --> 00:08:28,890
Where's Jennifer?
178
00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:30,750
Well, I told her
to take our gear down
179
00:08:30,790 --> 00:08:32,090
off the luggage rack.
180
00:08:34,990 --> 00:08:36,790
Jennifer, leave the gear!
181
00:08:36,820 --> 00:08:38,550
Just come inside!
182
00:08:40,250 --> 00:08:41,990
Why did you tell
her to do that?
183
00:08:42,020 --> 00:08:44,960
Dad, I knew she was disappointed
about the camping trip,
184
00:08:44,990 --> 00:08:47,040
so I thought
this was a good way
185
00:08:47,070 --> 00:08:49,090
for her to get some fresh air.
186
00:08:54,990 --> 00:08:57,020
Look at those rosy cheeks.
187
00:08:58,290 --> 00:09:00,120
I couldn't get
the sleeping bag untied.
188
00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:01,850
They were up too high.
189
00:09:01,890 --> 00:09:03,790
Hey, uh, the ladder is in
the garage, Jennifer.
190
00:09:03,820 --> 00:09:05,120
Alex.
191
00:09:05,150 --> 00:09:06,650
Alex, you think you're
the boss over me.
192
00:09:06,690 --> 00:09:08,960
He thinks he's the boss over
everybody, Jennifer.
193
00:09:08,990 --> 00:09:09,960
Now what's the matter?
194
00:09:11,860 --> 00:09:14,350
Hold it! Hold it!
195
00:09:14,390 --> 00:09:16,620
Up to your rooms, now.
196
00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:31,220
Uh, Dad,
197
00:09:31,260 --> 00:09:33,340
I think I'm a little old
198
00:09:33,370 --> 00:09:35,390
to be sent to my room.
199
00:09:35,420 --> 00:09:37,460
You're also too old
to be whining in the car
200
00:09:37,490 --> 00:09:39,290
the whole way back.
201
00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:41,090
I wasn't whining.
202
00:09:42,490 --> 00:09:44,060
Get up there.
203
00:09:48,460 --> 00:09:50,060
Honey.
Elyse.
204
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:53,490
Do you remember how these
camping trips used to be?
205
00:09:53,530 --> 00:09:55,660
Just the two of us
up there in the woods,
206
00:09:57,030 --> 00:10:00,390
with the stars, the moon,
a little fire going.
207
00:10:00,430 --> 00:10:01,560
Mm-hm.
208
00:10:01,590 --> 00:10:03,220
Oh, boy.
I miss those days.
209
00:10:04,530 --> 00:10:06,520
I mean, I love the kids,
Elyse, you know that,
210
00:10:06,560 --> 00:10:08,660
but I'll tell you, part of me
is really looking forward
211
00:10:08,690 --> 00:10:10,380
to the day when
the kids are grown
212
00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:12,060
and it'll be just
the two of us again.
213
00:10:14,930 --> 00:10:16,490
Are you really?
214
00:10:16,530 --> 00:10:17,940
I am tired,
215
00:10:17,980 --> 00:10:20,070
I am cranky,
216
00:10:20,100 --> 00:10:22,120
I am fed up.
217
00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:24,030
Just do not mention
the word "kid" to me,
218
00:10:24,060 --> 00:10:25,060
we'll be okay.
219
00:10:25,090 --> 00:10:27,290
God.
220
00:10:27,330 --> 00:10:28,360
Okay, I'll try.
221
00:10:29,730 --> 00:10:32,630
Did you...? Did you get
the test results
222
00:10:32,660 --> 00:10:33,730
from your physical?
223
00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:36,510
You're not making
it easy on me.
224
00:10:36,540 --> 00:10:39,260
What did Dr. Carlson
have to say?
225
00:10:41,430 --> 00:10:43,330
Well, my blood pressure's
a little low.
226
00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:45,320
Nothing to worry about.
227
00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:47,990
Uh, triglycerides,
never better.
228
00:10:49,430 --> 00:10:51,190
I'm the perfect height
for someone my age.
229
00:10:53,060 --> 00:10:55,890
Oh, I almost forgot,
230
00:10:55,930 --> 00:10:57,160
I'm pregnant.
231
00:11:07,790 --> 00:11:09,890
Well,
232
00:11:09,930 --> 00:11:12,060
anything else happen
while I was gone?
233
00:11:13,560 --> 00:11:15,230
Your suit came back
from the cleaners.
234
00:11:15,260 --> 00:11:18,260
This is a big day.
235
00:11:18,290 --> 00:11:21,760
Um, who else knows about this?
236
00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:23,400
Only you and Skippy.
237
00:11:23,430 --> 00:11:24,400
Oh, of course.
238
00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:32,400
I- I thought you'd be happy.
239
00:11:32,430 --> 00:11:34,680
I'm happy. I'm happy.
240
00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:36,390
Don't I look happy?
241
00:11:36,420 --> 00:11:38,060
You look shocked.
242
00:11:38,100 --> 00:11:39,660
Uh, I am.
243
00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:41,960
I'm shocked and happy.
244
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:43,100
I'm shappy.
245
00:11:46,060 --> 00:11:47,580
You're babbling.
246
00:11:47,610 --> 00:11:49,060
I am. I'm babbling
247
00:11:49,100 --> 00:11:52,260
and I'm shocked and I'm happy.
248
00:11:52,300 --> 00:11:53,300
I'm bashappy.
249
00:11:56,160 --> 00:11:58,560
We always said
we'd welcome a new baby.
250
00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:00,360
Well, I-I-I know.
251
00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:03,930
I- I just didn't think
we'd get the chance to.
252
00:12:03,970 --> 00:12:06,550
I mean, after Jennifer was born,
253
00:12:06,580 --> 00:12:09,130
the doctor said,
uh, that was it.
254
00:12:12,460 --> 00:12:13,870
I mean, the chances...
255
00:12:15,500 --> 00:12:19,400
The chances of your getting
pregnant again were very slim.
256
00:12:19,430 --> 00:12:23,260
But you do welcome this baby,
don't you?
257
00:12:23,300 --> 00:12:25,700
I do. I do.
Of course I do.
258
00:12:25,730 --> 00:12:27,130
It's just I'm, uh...
259
00:12:27,170 --> 00:12:29,360
Bashappy.
260
00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:33,330
It's just beginning
to dawn on me.
261
00:12:33,370 --> 00:12:34,730
A baby.
262
00:12:34,770 --> 00:12:35,900
This is incredible.
263
00:12:35,930 --> 00:12:38,530
This is... This is fantastic.
264
00:12:41,630 --> 00:12:44,370
Uh, Dad, listen,
265
00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:45,600
the three of us were talking
266
00:12:45,630 --> 00:12:46,760
about all that car stuff,
267
00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:48,200
and, well,
we're sorry, you know?
268
00:12:50,730 --> 00:12:53,870
Did you hear that, Elyse?
269
00:12:53,900 --> 00:12:56,370
You're the three most wonderful
children in the world.
270
00:12:58,270 --> 00:13:00,700
Told you I didn't have to cry,
Alex.
271
00:13:03,870 --> 00:13:05,430
Kids, come on over here.
272
00:13:05,470 --> 00:13:07,870
We got to tell you
something real important.
273
00:13:07,900 --> 00:13:08,830
Come on, kids. Sit down.
274
00:13:10,900 --> 00:13:12,200
Is something wrong, Mom?
275
00:13:12,230 --> 00:13:14,570
Oh, no, honey.
Everything's fine.
276
00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:15,570
It's just that, uh,
277
00:13:16,530 --> 00:13:19,800
Well, I'm pregnant.
278
00:13:27,870 --> 00:13:30,270
Pregnant?
279
00:13:30,300 --> 00:13:32,230
You mean...
You mean, like, with a baby?
280
00:13:33,700 --> 00:13:36,070
I know, it's a shock.
281
00:13:36,100 --> 00:13:38,770
Believe me, no one was
more surprised than I was.
282
00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:40,870
Oh, no. Skippy was.
283
00:13:40,900 --> 00:13:43,170
Skippy knows?
284
00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:44,570
You mean,
people outside the house
285
00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:46,600
are gonna know about this?
286
00:13:46,640 --> 00:13:50,070
I'll have to drop out of school.
287
00:13:50,100 --> 00:13:53,240
All right, uh,
let me get this straight.
288
00:13:53,270 --> 00:13:57,700
You and Mom are gonna
have a baby?
289
00:13:57,740 --> 00:13:59,220
Heh.
That's right.
290
00:13:59,260 --> 00:14:00,700
And you're pregnant?
291
00:14:02,170 --> 00:14:04,370
You picked the right one.
292
00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:06,000
I see. Uh.
293
00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:09,230
Girls, Mom's pregnant.
294
00:14:09,270 --> 00:14:12,000
Please leave the room.
This is not a topic for females.
295
00:14:13,700 --> 00:14:14,940
Alex.
296
00:14:14,970 --> 00:14:17,070
I can't believe this.
297
00:14:17,110 --> 00:14:19,140
Are you sure, Mom?
298
00:14:19,170 --> 00:14:20,670
Well, that's what
the doctor said.
299
00:14:20,710 --> 00:14:23,100
Well, aren't you kids excited?
300
00:14:23,140 --> 00:14:24,900
Well, it's embarrassing.
You're parents.
301
00:14:24,940 --> 00:14:26,640
You shouldn't
be having children.
302
00:14:28,270 --> 00:14:31,170
Come on, you guys,
Mallory is right.
303
00:14:31,210 --> 00:14:33,240
You're too old.
304
00:14:33,270 --> 00:14:35,240
You're too kind.
305
00:14:35,270 --> 00:14:36,770
I'm just being realistic, Mom.
306
00:14:36,810 --> 00:14:38,240
You're not going to be able
307
00:14:38,270 --> 00:14:40,470
to do the things that...
That younger parents do.
308
00:14:41,870 --> 00:14:43,200
Who is, uh...?
309
00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:46,470
Who is going to toss a football
with this kid?
310
00:14:46,510 --> 00:14:48,910
Old Gramps here?
311
00:14:52,270 --> 00:14:54,140
Alex, it might not be someone
who likes football,
312
00:14:54,170 --> 00:14:55,510
it might even be a girl.
313
00:15:00,770 --> 00:15:02,640
Wait a minute.
314
00:15:02,670 --> 00:15:05,770
Nobody said anything
about having a girl.
315
00:15:05,810 --> 00:15:08,490
No, sir, that is where
I draw the line.
316
00:15:08,530 --> 00:15:11,170
I am definitely against
you having a girl.
317
00:15:16,510 --> 00:15:18,840
This baby is gonna change
all our lives.
318
00:15:23,340 --> 00:15:26,370
Just think they should have
asked us how we felt about it.
319
00:15:26,410 --> 00:15:28,440
You know, we should try
and look at this thing
320
00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:30,140
from their point of view.
321
00:15:30,170 --> 00:15:33,110
They're not exactly a couple
of spring chickens, you know.
322
00:15:33,140 --> 00:15:36,570
This is, uh... This is their
last grasp at youth.
323
00:15:36,610 --> 00:15:38,010
It's their last chance
324
00:15:38,040 --> 00:15:41,780
to feel like a functioning part
of nature's fertility cycle
325
00:15:41,810 --> 00:15:44,210
before they shrivel up,
join bowling leagues.
326
00:15:45,880 --> 00:15:48,980
I just can't help thinking
another brother or sister's
327
00:15:49,010 --> 00:15:52,130
gonna upset the delicate balance
of give and take,
328
00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:55,240
the balance of space we've
established in this family.
329
00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:00,910
That's quite
an advanced thought, Mallory.
330
00:16:00,940 --> 00:16:03,440
I, uh... I didn't know you had
such an understanding
331
00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:04,570
of group dynamics.
332
00:16:04,610 --> 00:16:06,880
I was talking
about closet space.
333
00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:11,280
I don't know what you guys
are complaining about.
334
00:16:11,310 --> 00:16:12,270
I'm the youngest.
335
00:16:12,310 --> 00:16:14,740
I should feel
the most threatened.
336
00:16:14,780 --> 00:16:16,710
You know, Jennifer is right.
337
00:16:16,740 --> 00:16:19,110
Look, this thing is gonna be
hardest on her.
338
00:16:19,140 --> 00:16:21,480
She's used to being
the baby of the family,
339
00:16:21,510 --> 00:16:23,040
getting all the attention.
340
00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:24,410
Mwah.
341
00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:26,010
Now she's going to be ignored.
342
00:16:27,850 --> 00:16:30,880
A virtual nobody.
One of the crowd.
343
00:16:30,910 --> 00:16:33,180
A piece of driftwood.
344
00:16:33,210 --> 00:16:36,080
Mere flotsam washed up
on the shores of life.
345
00:16:36,110 --> 00:16:38,240
I get the point, Alex.
346
00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:40,680
Okay, girls, you're just gonna
have to be mature about this.
347
00:16:40,710 --> 00:16:43,080
Now, there is going to be
another member of this family,
348
00:16:43,110 --> 00:16:46,140
and you're both going
to have to make sacrifices.
349
00:16:46,180 --> 00:16:47,750
What about you?
350
00:16:47,780 --> 00:16:49,280
I'm the oldest son.
351
00:16:49,310 --> 00:16:52,280
There are certain inalienable
rights to that position.
352
00:16:52,310 --> 00:16:54,440
You can't pull rank
on this one, Alex.
353
00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:56,440
When the baby cries at 3:00
in the morning,
354
00:16:56,480 --> 00:17:00,550
it's gonna wake everyone up.
Even the first-born son.
355
00:17:00,580 --> 00:17:04,340
Can you imagine Alex
changing a diaper?
356
00:17:05,650 --> 00:17:08,550
Or Alex going
gitchee, gitchee, goo?
357
00:17:08,580 --> 00:17:10,860
I can go "gitchee,
gitchee, goo," Mallory.
358
00:17:10,900 --> 00:17:13,150
I just don't think infants
should be spoken to
359
00:17:13,180 --> 00:17:14,510
in that manner.
360
00:17:14,550 --> 00:17:18,050
What would you say to the baby
if it were crying, Alex?
361
00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:20,140
I would, uh...
362
00:17:20,180 --> 00:17:22,950
I would walk over
to the edge of the crib,
363
00:17:22,980 --> 00:17:26,080
and I would explain
to the infant
364
00:17:26,110 --> 00:17:29,910
that crying is merely
an instinctive reaction
365
00:17:29,950 --> 00:17:33,050
to transitory,
albeit unpleasant,
366
00:17:33,080 --> 00:17:34,250
environmental stimuli.
367
00:17:35,850 --> 00:17:37,780
Why does that
sound so familiar?
368
00:17:44,710 --> 00:17:48,180
To which I would add,
parenthetically,
369
00:17:48,220 --> 00:17:51,010
uh, "gitchee, uh,
gitchee, goo. "
370
00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:56,510
I just had a scary thought.
371
00:17:56,550 --> 00:17:59,750
We could have another
little Alex on our hands.
372
00:17:59,780 --> 00:18:02,450
You're making me
very nervous, Mallory.
373
00:18:02,480 --> 00:18:04,080
Well, you should be nervous.
374
00:18:04,110 --> 00:18:07,000
Think about all the negatives
to the situation.
375
00:18:07,030 --> 00:18:09,880
Babies cry at night
when you're trying to sleep.
376
00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:12,020
They have bad table manners.
377
00:18:12,050 --> 00:18:14,050
They're bald.
378
00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:16,250
They never pick up
after themselves.
379
00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:17,780
They have runny noses.
380
00:18:17,820 --> 00:18:20,720
When you stand them up,
they fall right over.
381
00:18:25,380 --> 00:18:26,680
They can't hold their liquor.
382
00:18:30,380 --> 00:18:32,680
Then again,
they cuddle up in your arms.
383
00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:34,340
They smell good.
384
00:18:34,370 --> 00:18:35,920
They gurgle and coo.
385
00:18:35,950 --> 00:18:37,850
They idolize
their older brother.
386
00:18:40,650 --> 00:18:42,650
Of course,
who could blame them?
387
00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:45,200
You know, I can't recall
which of you girls
388
00:18:45,240 --> 00:18:47,720
looked up to me more
when you were babies.
389
00:18:47,750 --> 00:18:50,080
Or should I say worshipped?
390
00:18:50,120 --> 00:18:51,250
Ow!
391
00:18:54,120 --> 00:18:55,380
Are you okay?
392
00:18:55,420 --> 00:18:57,050
Hm? Oh, sure. I'm fine.
393
00:18:58,380 --> 00:19:02,590
I just couldn't sleep.
I was so excited.
394
00:19:02,620 --> 00:19:04,250
How you two feeling?
395
00:19:04,290 --> 00:19:05,320
Fine.
396
00:19:05,350 --> 00:19:06,650
Fine, how are you?
397
00:19:07,890 --> 00:19:10,250
I had a little
trouble sleeping.
398
00:19:10,290 --> 00:19:12,620
I, uh... I can't stop thinking.
399
00:19:12,650 --> 00:19:14,250
About what?
400
00:19:16,290 --> 00:19:17,790
I mean, about what specifically?
401
00:19:18,990 --> 00:19:20,650
Elyse, I'm 40 years old.
402
00:19:20,690 --> 00:19:24,450
I'm about to become
a father again.
403
00:19:24,490 --> 00:19:28,350
Last time I changed a diaper,
Richard Nixon was president.
404
00:19:28,390 --> 00:19:29,890
Thought I'd seen
the last of both of them.
405
00:19:31,950 --> 00:19:33,120
You know what I keep realizing?
406
00:19:33,150 --> 00:19:34,380
What?
407
00:19:34,420 --> 00:19:36,890
We have to start watching
Sesame Streetagain.
408
00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:40,520
Romper Room. Mister Rogers'.
409
00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:42,490
I likeMister Rogers'.
410
00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:50,850
Have to start going to the zoo.
411
00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:52,650
Pony rides.
412
00:19:52,690 --> 00:19:54,390
Birthday parties.
413
00:19:54,420 --> 00:19:56,020
Sterilizing baby bottles.
414
00:19:56,060 --> 00:19:57,250
Tripping over toys.
415
00:19:57,290 --> 00:19:58,420
Before you know it,
416
00:19:58,450 --> 00:20:00,190
the terrible twos
will be upon us.
417
00:20:00,220 --> 00:20:02,450
Remember when Alex used to run
around the house all the time
418
00:20:02,490 --> 00:20:03,450
going, "Mine! Mine!"?
419
00:20:04,820 --> 00:20:06,920
He never really outgrew that,
did he?
420
00:20:10,420 --> 00:20:12,550
Seems like such a long time ago.
421
00:20:12,590 --> 00:20:15,360
I know. I've been doing
some calculations.
422
00:20:15,390 --> 00:20:18,520
When the baby's 10,
I'll be 50.
423
00:20:18,560 --> 00:20:21,460
When the baby's 20,
I'll be 60.
424
00:20:21,490 --> 00:20:24,350
When the baby's 30,
I'll be 70.
425
00:20:26,060 --> 00:20:28,560
70 is a little old to have
a baby, isn't it?
426
00:20:30,890 --> 00:20:32,720
It won't be a baby
when it's 30.
427
00:20:33,990 --> 00:20:35,860
I guess you're right.
428
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:43,120
When the baby's 40,
Jennifer will be 51.
429
00:20:44,360 --> 00:20:46,260
Steven.
Cut it out.
430
00:20:46,290 --> 00:20:49,160
I'm sorry.
I'm just not used to the idea.
431
00:20:49,190 --> 00:20:51,290
Neither am I.
432
00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:53,260
It's a nice idea
to get used to, isn't it?
433
00:20:53,290 --> 00:20:55,260
I wish the kids
were more excited.
434
00:20:55,290 --> 00:20:56,460
Oh, they'll come around.
435
00:20:56,490 --> 00:20:59,260
Who could not love
a beautiful newborn baby?
436
00:20:59,290 --> 00:21:02,020
Besides, it gives us
someone else to pick on.
437
00:21:03,020 --> 00:21:05,420
You know, uh,
438
00:21:05,460 --> 00:21:07,220
there's one other thing
about this
439
00:21:07,260 --> 00:21:08,590
we haven't mentioned.
440
00:21:08,620 --> 00:21:10,890
It's gonna be real expensive.
441
00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:14,590
I find this absolutely
the sexiest thing in the world.
442
00:21:16,090 --> 00:21:18,490
Aw, hey, hey, hey. Come on.
Cut it out.
443
00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:20,260
Don't you know that's how you
got into trouble
444
00:21:20,290 --> 00:21:22,690
in the first place?
445
00:21:22,730 --> 00:21:24,480
Alex, what are you doing up?
446
00:21:24,510 --> 00:21:26,190
How am I supposed to sleep, Mom?
447
00:21:26,230 --> 00:21:28,960
I'm about to become a brother
for the third time.
448
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:31,490
It's not gonna happen tonight,
Alex.
449
00:21:31,530 --> 00:21:33,230
It's not, is it, Elyse?
450
00:21:35,460 --> 00:21:37,190
I can almost guarantee it.
451
00:21:37,230 --> 00:21:38,890
What's in the package?
452
00:21:38,930 --> 00:21:42,160
Oh, uh, it's something
I picked up for the little guy.
453
00:21:43,530 --> 00:21:44,490
Oh, it's so cute.
454
00:21:44,530 --> 00:21:46,690
Yeah, uh, pull the string.
455
00:21:48,190 --> 00:21:49,760
I love Alex.
456
00:21:49,790 --> 00:21:50,890
Aw.
457
00:21:53,360 --> 00:21:55,460
Isn't that sweet?
458
00:21:55,490 --> 00:21:56,930
Oh, my...
459
00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:59,430
Yeah, you know, I think I need
to get one of these for myself.
460
00:22:02,330 --> 00:22:04,630
This is going to be
a long nine months.
461
00:22:07,490 --> 00:22:09,960
We thought about having
a little brother or sister,
462
00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:12,760
and we decided that
it could be a lot of fun.
463
00:22:12,790 --> 00:22:15,660
Yeah, the family needs
a little shaking up anyway.
464
00:22:17,590 --> 00:22:19,600
Thank you, honey.
This is beautiful.
465
00:22:23,190 --> 00:22:24,560
Look at that.
466
00:22:26,190 --> 00:22:27,790
Well, it's getting pretty late.
467
00:22:27,830 --> 00:22:29,700
I think we'd better
call it a night, huh?
468
00:22:29,730 --> 00:22:30,760
Oh, yeah.
469
00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:31,800
Come on.
469
00:22:32,305 --> 00:22:38,866
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