Original subtitles

Go easy on that lipstick baby... you'll smudge his sausage

Is that what's wrong with your sausage? It's smudged?

I don't have time for this bullshit...

Man, you're a pro at make-up!

You don't dress up at night and offer "happy endings" by the highway no?

Happy endings? For shitty lives like ours? No chance...

Why's that Sunita telling everyone that your fanny stinks of dead fishes?!

Bitch is jealous...

because all her customers want a taste of me.

Aye Kanta, you don't need new tampons no?

Shove your nose up my petticoat and find out...

-Asshole! -Arre I was just kidding...

Here... have a banana.

I am fed up man.

Of bananas?

Of this life...

Of these pricks... and their pricks.

So you want to be a nice housewife now?

I don’t know…

but I got to do something.

Like what?

Get a bank-job, huh?

"Here's your cash sir...

While you count that...

why don't you make a fixed deposit in my private locker?"

-Bank-job! -Didi, here's your special chai!

Hey shorty, fuck the chai... roll me a joint.

Pull your hand off your dick, and roll your own...

That Bijli has finished her stock of condoms...

-Get her a new packet. -Fuck you motherfucker.

Didi, chai's getting cold. Have it.

Our lives are going to change after tonight Kanta...

I can fuckin feel it!

We're going to hit the big leagues!

You're going to be high-end pussy... exotic pussy!

And me...

hey, what do they call them high-society pimps?

They're still fuckin pimps...

No man... I'm sure there's a sophisticated word

How do I look?

Holy mother of god!

Beautiful.

Look my rocket's ready for take-off!

Hook my blouse.

Listen... Do what this customer says, okay?

Spread your legs... and don't play hide-n-seek with your honeypot.

Khushiya...

And you remember the lines from that porno right?

Let me hear it?

Skip the "honey" if you want,

but don't forget to say "come on".

He should think your ass is educated!

Just...

always remember one thing baby...

If it wasn't for you, I'd be lying naked in some Sheikh's harem in Dubai...

rotting, like a piece of flesh.

You gave life to this piece of flesh.

This flesh belongs to the customer... And this life belongs... to you.

Attagirl... my Pokemon!

Kanta...

where the fuck you going?

This isn't your fucking police station...

I go where I please...

Watch your mouth slut... or I'll shoot you

Fuck you officer. I've seen both your guns and only I know...

which one's loaded and which one's firing blanks.

I can throw you in jail bitch...

And when I don't spread my legs for your boss...

he'll just make you his bitch!

So pick up your dough... don't pick my brain...

Out of my way now... I'm late for my date

She's the best item in whole market.

I haven't shown anyone yet. You'll not get like her anywhere.

Come on! Come back!

Well, fuck my life!

Who needs a house if you have this car?

Hey, does it have a bathroom also?

How much did you pay for it?

I get paid to drive this car...

not to answer your questions.

Are you the one getting laid?

No, I'm just the driver

Then stop yapping and drive!

Does it have cable?

Mumbai doesn't hurt so much in here... no?

I've been here all my life...

but even today this fucking sea of people gets on my nerve.

You don't get out much?

Didn't you see where you picked me up from?

Ya.

That's a Sin city man... and this is where the decent folks live.

But even the decent get naked in a jiffy on our streets.

Karan Kumar?

Your boss must be his big fan!

Quiet.

-How do I look? -You look nice.

Karan Kumar?

Can I get an autograph?

Autograph?

Open your mouth only when I tell you.

You have to sleep with her... not me.

Stop scaring her. Relax.

Did you...

shave?

If you find a single hair down there... full money back!

Powder?

Talcum powder? Every day madam... after having a bath.

Bottoms up!

Drink up. Drink up.

The night’s young

The night’s young

Let's talk to our heart’s content

Let the night lead us where

We’ll be breathing

In an unchaste affair

The night’s young

The night’s young

Let's talk to our heart’s content

Let the night lead us where

Can't get it up?

Karan Kumar,

I'm hungry.

-When did you become a... -Whore? 9 years ago.

-Where you from? -Whores are from their brothels...

and belong to their pimps...

I am from wherever my customer wants me to be.

Where's that fried egg?

And you?

-How long you been with him? -Six months...

and that prick still doesn't know my name.

Must be exciting no? Driving these stars around...

It's okay...

I'm sure it's not as exciting as your life though.

It's all the fucking same.

You and I both drive a stick...

you get paid to move it front and back... and I get paid to move it up and down!

What the fuck,

you horny toad?

It's a 100 bucks for touching, 500 for a kiss...

2000 for a quickie and 3000 for the "full package".

Sometimes I charge customers for just looking!

You're lucky you're out at night with me.

Just eat your fucking eggs... Don't even fucking think about me!

How much for doing this?

Aye Kanta!

-Was he over the moon? -Moon?

He had stars in his eyes when I left him.

You took that position, no?

-I took all the positions man… -Ya?

On my knees… Cowgirl…

Reverse Cowgirl… I even climbed his shoulder!

You should've been a gymnast!

You should get the Nobel prize for humping!

The right "price" is my prize.

Who was this Mr. Moneybags?

Some old prick…

could barely get it up.

When you're young, you only have a hard-on for money…

but when you're old,

all the money in the world can't get you a hard-on!

I need to hit the hay. I'm tired.

Shall I rock you to sleep?

Or should I sing you a raunchy lullaby?

Why don't you go fuck yourself?

What’s the difference between sadness...

Yusuf, is this how you became a sharpshooter?

By playing carrom?

I never miss my mark, man… be it with a gun… or at carom.

But, I see you’ve got the hots for the Queen peg?

I want her out now, got it?

It doesn't matter if I'm king or not… But I gotta pocket the queen, bro.

That's the game!

You know...

what's the deadliest weapon in the world?

-A gun? -Na…

A pussy.

It can drive anyone nuts!

Men will sell their soul for pussy… they'll steal, even kill for it.

But bro…

you know how it's fun to shoot a gun, only when it listens to you…

when it knows "who's its daddy"?

A pussy must also, always know… who's her daddy.

Since the moment she loses her cherry,

once a pussy gets a mind...

of her own…

it can kill a man...

faster than any gun in the world!

The Queen's not yours till you pocket a cover afterwards?

Sleep… or I'll beat you to sleep.

Motherfucker!

Your tea's getting cold…

and there's a fly on your bread!

A fly is free to sit where she wants.

That she can,

but I don't think you can eat anything she's sat on.

Even if you're starving?

Have you ever been in love?

People like us don't get love.

We get AIDS.

Aye… get ready,

that diamond jeweller called… he's on his way.

make sure he goes back happy… Chop chop!

Aye… why're you palming customers off to Champa?

Just one… that Baker fucknut.

He's an old regular customer.

Bastard pounds me like he's kneading dough… Always gagging me.

What else will a baker do?

You've been doing this with other customers also…

Look Kanta,

your job is to give a ride.

You don't get to choose who rides you… Got it?

You've been pissy for the last 2 days.

-What the fuck is wrong with you? -Nothing's wrong with me.

Aye! Shut that ruckus… Asshole!

Listen bitch… I know it's your period before you even get your first cramp.

Your pussy is my property…

and no one trespasses on my fucking property.

You're mine and you better not forget it…

So, don't bite the cock...

that fuckin feeds you!

Don't waste your breath on him… you know how short tempered he is.

Hot in the head… hot in the pants… like all men.

-Have some chai. -I'd rather drink poison.

Chica, you're not even allowed to kill yourself.

Oye! Visitors are not allowed here…

I am your hero's heroine, dude!

Old friend… You want to see another old friend?

Here… Okay?

Karan Kumar! What a shot, dude…

Remember me? C'mon, C'mon-Pokemon!

Hi!

This is not your brothel,

how dare you step foot here? Get the fuck out of here!

I know him, man!

And I know you! Raju…

Call security.

Tell them she’s trying to break in. Call the cops...

I want her out now, got it?

You'll call the cops?

No.

I didn't think I'd ever see you again.

I'm such a dumbass…

I've liked him since I was a little girl.

Don't worry, you'll never see me again.

My name is Raju.

Raju.

Since when are you in Mumbai?

-Since my mensies… -Mensies?

Arre, since my 1st period.

I was 15. The guy paid 500,000 to pop my cheery.

500,000?

Tell me more about yourself.

Same old story, man…

a set of breasts, 2 spread legs, and a mouth.

A whore is just a sum of all her parts.

Where the fuck were you, bitch?

-I went out. -Who was he?

He's a friend.

You think I'm a dumbfuck!

You have only one friend in the whole world Me!

Everyone else is just a customer! Got it?

I fucking brought you here… I looked after you.

They were packing you off to Dubai…

to die in that Sheikh's harem!

In here, you're a fucking queen…

but on the outside, you will always only be a slut!

Say it…

Khushiya owns my life. I belong to him. Say it!

I belong to him.

Aye! Get her some fuckin chai

and slap some make up on her.

He's a monster!

-No… he's just a pimp -Should I talk to him?

He only talks to customers…

Are you a customer?

I think I'm in love with you.

-You met me 2 days ago. -Love can happen at first sight.

This isn't a fucking movie.

What if...

you fall for someone else after 2 days?

What then? I am better off just being a whore.

In spite of knowing what you do, I'm wooing you…

If I just wanted to sleep with you,

I could just show up every night and pay your pimp.

-It's not that big a deal for me. -It is for me.

I don't want to fuck my head up with this "falling in love" nonsense.

I'd rather get paid to be fucked… than be fucked over for free.

Do you never think about having a family?

I tried getting pregnant… slipped the condom off.

Khushiya found out, and beat the shit out of me.

You seen that boy who gets chai?

He's Ruby's son.

That's a shitty life for a child.

Can you never look at the bright side?

My job is to make sure every guy who fucks me comes back for more…

The bright side is, business is better than ever.

Don't you want to leave this life behind?

Don't you have any hopes? Any dreams?

If we stick together, we can make all your dreams come true.

What if you sell me after you marry me?

Do I look like a pimp to you?

Do pimps bring you out to the sea side and talk about your dreams with you?

If you don't see my point, let's not waste each other's time.

Where will we go?

Where will we stay?

I want a life… not just dreams.

Have some faith.

I'll not let you go back to that hellhole.

Khushiya will never let me go.

If you can fool him,

and sneak out like today,

I'm sure you can manage for a few more days.

I'll not even come see you till the day we run away from here… deal?

-Can I? -Huh? What?

Rest my head?

Can you see the sun set from your room?

Aye Kanta! Kanta!

What the fuck are you shouting for?

Oooh… someone's already hot n heaving!

Is that how you talk to your lover?

Don't come here drunk… I hate it.

Sorry… Sorry my love, I apologize!

I don't know why I drink, when I can just get high on you!

No drinking from tomorrow… I promise!

Tell me when was the last time we made "the love"?

Can you even get it up, when you're this high?

Up… down, left and right… I can get it anywhere you say!

How come you have a hard on for me alone when you're pissed?

Find someone else to empty your load… fuck off.

Motherfucking piece of shit.

Why don't you like this anymore?

-Oh, I like it a lot. -How come you don't moan like before?

Cause you're barking up the wrong tree.

Wait… yea, now… go for it.

-C'mon, Pokemon! -Fuck!

Shut up, bitch… shut up!

You think I'm a faggot?

Everything's changed since that night.

I should never have sent you there!

I know what's going on inside your head

when I enter you, bitch.

When I enter you, bitch!

I'm going to find out about him.

I own you Kanta… your pussy belongs to me!

Take me for a fuckin idiot?

Motherfucker!

She thinks, I'm an asshole.

Raju…

I need to see you again.

Okay… listen, I love you.

You heard me?

I love you.

Make a habit of this.

It's open.

-Were you talking to someone? -Must be the TV…

I just shut it.

What's up?

You know how beautiful you are, no?

And you know how much I love you, right?

You also do, no?

Say it…

Say it…

Say it…

Say it…

Say it… "I love you". -I love you.

Say it… "I love you". Say it… just once.

Once more… "I love you". Please

I love you.

Hello? Yeah, Kanta..

-Hello? Speak up! Khushiya!

-Kanta... -Khushiya!

Khushiya!

Hello?

-Kanta... -Khushiya!

What's going on, Kanta? Hello?

Khushiya!

-Kanta? Hello? -Khushiya!

-Hello? Khushiya!

Fuckin bitch…

-After all I have done for you. -Kanta? What's going on, Kanta?

I loved you…

Kanta?

Kanta? Hello?

What's going on, Kanta?

-Hello? I treated you like a queen.

And you want to fuck me over? -What's going on?

Kanta? Hello?

Let me go!

What's going on, Kanta?

Kanta?

What's going on, Kanta? Hello?

You motherfucker…

If you want to see Kanta alive, get your ass down here right now!

She doesn't have much time, and neither do you!

Don't dare to touch her.

I'm going to watch all of you burn!

How are you Karan?

I'm Raju.

Yes.

You know how your father survived all these years?

By keeping his mouth shut.

You're his driver… not his buddy.

Know your place.

Understood?

Yes.

And wear this uniform every day.

You're stinking up the house…

Oh, I'm so sorry, sir.

I didn't realize the superstar's driver had arrived!

Turn the TV down.

No way! Desperate housewives of Mumbai is on!

That superstar's giving you shit?

He thinks I talk too much.

These film stars are crazy, man.

They'll fire you for just breathing wrong.

I won't get fired that easily.

I'm going to be a big man, a millionaire.

Hey, if you're going to be a millionaire, why the fuck am I working so hard?

No?

-Rahul -Sir, my name is Raju.

Rahul,

whenever we are dropping off Lateeka,

always take the longer route…

Come in.

You know how to use it?

No, sir.

It's easy.

Just press this red button,

here,

when you see something hot in the frame.

And if it's sizzling hot,

press this slowly,

to zoom.

And don't fuckin move it around to show off, got it?

Will this release in theatres?

I want you to fuck me, Karan.

I want you to fuck this.

You're a natural.

Not bad for the first time.

Here. Read this.

How do you survive without a job?

No one goes hungry in Mumbai.

-I just don’t get this “Mumbai” of yours. -What's to get?

-No one gives a shit about others. -That's how everyone is, man…

Quid pro quo!

Nobody's a friend here.

Is everyone like this?

Listen...

If you want to rise above,

you got to pull as many people down as it takes.

Fuck'em,

gut'em… but beat'em!

Did I scare you?

Listen to me, bro.

Those who just wait their turn to get lucky...

They find themselves in their grave before they find any luck!

Find me a girl.

I'm not into these things, sir.

Lateeka needs a girl, someone new.

One…

Two…

Three...

Four...

Five...

Hey, stop scratching. Stand up straight!

Come sir, come!

Don't you worry about the quality, sir.

I got all kinds of stuff, total variety!

Bijli!

That's a blouse, not a shirt. Pull it down.

Don't hide your talents! Down!

This one, she's a monster in bed. Wet in no time!

Right.

And this is Mona, "2 in 1".

Do her from the front, or she'll do you from behind!

And this one, don't let her size fool you. She's all about the noise!

Surround sound experience, sir! Non-stop, in 4 languages!

No, no! My boss needs a decent girl.

Decent…? I don't deal in sub-standard pussy.

All my stuff is decent, sir!

I mean someone quiet.

Quiet? Right!

She's your woman, deaf as a cow, dumb as a mule! I got a blind one also!

I can throw in all 3 for a special price. Ruby… hey, Ruby!

By quiet I mean, someone who'll keep her mouth shut!

Mouth shut?

Your boss is a choker? BDSM?

Just show me the best you have. Money is not a problem.

Give us a twirl!

What the fuck?

How do I look?

You look nice.

Karan Kumar,

the superstar, can't get it up?

Karan Kumar...

Fucking bitch! This fucking bitch killed the vibe.

Delete that video. Right now!

Sir… her money?

You think I'm a fool?

I'm not paying her a dime!

Sir, it's a bad idea to mess with such people about money.

It's a bad idea...

to bring such people home too.

Sorry, sir.

Don't say a word. Just get dressed.

How much is this car for?

It's not that great of a car.

I'm asking for the price, you dumbfuck.

It's quite expensive.

Tell me if this is true. Bigger the car, smaller the package?

Am I right? Am I right? Yes.

Watch the road, fucker. You'll get us both killed!

I think you're right.

At night, Kanta is always right. Eyes on the road, man!

Kanta, your money.

Maybe I'll see you again.

-Really? -Yeah.

Your superstar might need me again, no? Just call Khushiya.

Is it exciting, the world of superstars?

It's not as great as it looks on the screen.

This world, their lives, it's fake.

Unlike our lives, real and honest.

Do you also dream a lot?

No. People like me just fuck a lot.

Anyway, tonight is no less than a dream.

I used to think like that, when I first started working here,

but when I saw the truth, I just lost all faith.

Then why don't you quit?

Because I need to eat.

Yea, me too. The difference is, I need to get eaten to eat.

Can I call you?

You want to take me out for a date?

A whore?

Some balls you got.

I just know I feel lighter when I'm with you.

You feel lighter? Or you think I'll help you get lighter?

Your eyes are really pretty.

I liked the chai.

Is it a date?

98-21-69-61-62

98-21-69...

98...

216..

Hello Kanta?

Do you get to watch the sun set every day?

Listen to the sound of the waves?

Do you breathe...

like you're free?

Here, I'm trying to make you forget that shithole,

and...

you're giving me shit?

You're the one with shit in his brain.

And if you want to put your arm around me, do it.

The fuck you fingering my waist for?

-Sorry. -What for?

You felt a bit offended. That's why.

I don't mind.

Then why'd you have to shout?

I don't want to see you again.

Kanta, didi! The customer's here.

Pull down your pants and...

Raju?

I've made a booking.

Khushiya will--

I'll see you soon.

But not like this.

Raju.

Aye Kanta… Kanta!

Some people want everything, but at the cost of nothing,

and they are ready to do anything to make that happen.

Hello?

-I want to see you again. Okay. Listen…

My name and reputation...

Get used to this.

Lateeka, ma’am, one question, ma’am.

Hello? -Khushiya...

-Hello. -You motherfucker,

Khushiya...

if you want to see Kanta alive,

get your ass down here right now.

She doesn't have much time, and neither do you!

You deceived me.

Isn't a little weird, sir?

I mean, when we were kids,

we used to play together.

Now, you're a superstar, and I'm your driver.

You remember when we--

He talks too much.

And please get him a uniform.

Do you have any experience?

Lots, sir. Sir, I'm a drama school gold medallist.

Sir, I just need one chance.

Hey Bango

Let’s do the Tango!

Bango Bango Bango

Bango Bango Bango

Bango Bango Bango

Bango Bango Bango

You’re my Adam

I’m your Eve

Anything you want

Anything you need

Just ask

And you shall receive

Bango Bango Bango

Bango Bango Bango

Kritika is a very pretty girl indeed.

Lateeka.

Lateeka.

Karan Kumar! A-1!

What a shot, dude!

Remember me? C'mon, C'mon, Pokemon!

I am going to be the queen of Bollywood at any cost.

You sure that's the right attitude?

We all know an actress' career is fragile like a hard-on.

You never know when it all goes soft.

Just do what I tell you,

and you won't have to do anything else.

Karan, a producer is auditioning me for his film.

It'll really help if you can recommend me.

You're a newcomer.

If I recommend you everyone will start gossiping

that we're sleeping together.

You won't need a recommendation once our film is out.

Anyway,

it's not like acting is where your talent lies.

Just keep doing what you're doing, and you'll make it.

Maybe I should ask your wife,

Janki to recommend me, what do you say?

Everyone knows your dirty secrets.

You knew about my videos?

I knew it when you kept asking me to face a particular way.

Why would I do that?

I maintain a healthy

and respectful relationship with all my co-stars.

Sir, one question, sir.

Sir, one question, sir.

-Hello? -I just want to say...

Lateeka, ma’am. Lateeka, ma’am.

Lateeka, ma’am.

You lying bitch!

-I fucking made you… -Sir...

I gave you a break. I made you.

I won't let you get away with this!

Let me see how you survive in this industry!

Raju.

Strangers in the night

Kanta and Raju

They were strangers in the night

Sit the fuck down.

You son of a bitch.

Do you love Kanta?

Yes.

She can be yours.

In fact,

she is yours!

For just 10 million Rupees!

I don't have that kind of money.

Should've thought about that before you got hard for her!

I need some time.

Sure.

But I'll fuck her for every hour you take!

-If you even touch her, I'll-- -Listen, fucknut!

You don't threaten the guy holding the gun!

Now get the fuck out of here, before I kill you both.

Kanta, my love, you see?

Like in carrom,

I know how to nail the Queen.

Get busy motherfucker!

If you kill her, you'll be the prime suspect.

Use your head.

Start the car.

Sir, I urgently need 10 million rupees!

Go!

Start the car, you idiot!

Sir, sir… you're Karan's driver, what is the truth?

Is he having an affair with Ms. Lateeka?

First, we need to delete...

all your sex tapes.

Once the tapes are gone, who's everyone going to believe?

A newcomer or a married and established superstar?

Apart from me, only Raju knows about this right?

Who's Raju?

Who's Raju?

The driver.

Raju.

But, his name is Rahul.

Do you trust him?

I'm at your house.

I have all your videos.

You mean your boss pays you to make these sex tapes?

How fucking horny is that dumbfuck?

Am I doing the right thing?

You're doing what's necessary.

You just make sure he thinks we have the tapes! Got it?

But we don't have the tapes!

Listen, bro,

when you got someone by the balls, don't be afraid to squeeze!

Let's go.

Raju!

I'm gonna make a killin'.

Then I'm gonna be chillin' like a villain!

Fuckin A' Kanta!

All this stress has made a rapper out of me bitch!

Baby, if I wasn't your pimp,

would you also love me like you love him?

-Where are we going? -We should keep moving.

He could be following us.

Call him, and tell him where to come.

I'm the pointy prick at the corner of this love triangle.

And boy, am I going to hurt!

It's me.

Asshole. What do you want?

-10 million. Motherfucker.

You think he's going to come?

He'll come back for me.

You know what true love is?

It's sacrifice!

Look at Romeo and Juliet.

They died for their love.

Will you die? For his love?

Tell me my sexy Pokemon!

It's him!

What's so special about him?

He's not a pimp like you.

Stop the car near the bridge.

You're a prostitute.

You sell your body. And I sell your soul.

-Where are the videos? -The money first.

Fucking money hungry scum.

Drive!

Go, go, go, go!

Go.

Did I get shot?

He fucked us over.

He's got the videos and the money!

Stop, stop!

-Let's go. -No, I have to go alone.

If I don't call you in one hour, call the cops and tell them everything.

-Okay. -Thanks, bro. I'll see you soon.

Welcome.

First money, later honey!

Whoa!

Open it.

You really did it, fucknut!

I thought you were a faggot,

but you're a player!

Go.

Go to your lover.

Run!

What're you waiting for Kanta? Go, run to your Slumdog Millionaire!

You fucking asshole!

You dared to touch Kanta?

Let him go, Khushiya!

Khushiya, leave him!

Khushiya, you'll kill him.

-Let him go Khushiya! -That's the plan, bitch.

-Khushiya, no! -Motherfucker…

you think I did all this for money?

It's about principle, you asshole.

No one. No mother fucking one, walks away with pussy that belongs to me!

Khushiya!

Karan Kumar?

The fuck you doing here?

Aye Kanta, look, Karan Kumar!

Hey, wise-ass. You better hand over the money

and the videos. C'mon!

Or what?

I'm going to shoot this piece of shit.

-Listen, limp dick! -Aye.

That's a loaded fucking gun you faggot. Stop wanking off with it.

I do my own stunts, fuckface!

Karan, let me talk to him. I'm handling it.

Listen you punk, you can take a million from that bag, and fuck off.

-A million? -Take 2.

Okay.

I don't care,

if it was his money or yours.

Now it's mine.

Kanta, what did you say to me?

"My flesh belongs to the customer, my life belongs to you!"

Fucking slut, motherfucker.

You tried to sell your own pimp out? Bitch!

I'm going to watch everything burn!

Fuck you, and fuck your money!

Fuck you!

Kanta.

Raju.

Yes, sir.

Is my face okay?

Sir, we have to cancel tomorrow's shoot.

Raju,

you're fired.