Original subtitles

[instrumental music]

[music continues]

[humming "O Holy Night"]

[indistinct chatter]

[sobbing]

[mellow music]

[Darcy] Do you have any money? [Brandon] Um...

That's okay.

Brandon, look.

Where do you think that is?

It's just a model, Darcy.

It's not a real place.

I bet it's Ireland.

Mom said Christmas is beautiful in Ireland.

Someday I'll have a Christmas just like that.

[instrumental music]

Everything will be perfect.

Okay, Michelangelo, it's a Christmas card.

- Not the Sistine Chapel. - It's not done.

[Carmen] You never think it's done,

but it's always gorgeous.

You can touch it up in Photoshop.

Not the same.

You'll be signing one of these cards at my funeral.

You could try singing me a Christmas carol.

It might get me in the mood, get me to work faster.

[Carmen] Singing is for those with a joyful inner voice.

I don't have one of those.

Of course you do. You just need to nurture it.

Mm-hmm, don't change the subject.

That should have been to the copywriter an hour ago.

Tom's there until two o'clock today, I checked.

That's something else you've been taking

your sweet time with.

It'll happen if it's supposed to.

[Carmen] Oh, hi, Tom. No one here was talking about you.

[Tom chuckles]

I was just telling Carmen

how I, uh, I-I need to get this done for you.

- Oh. - Very soon.

Darcy, I love how much detail you put in your work.

I can almost hear those carolers singing.

- It just needs a little more-- - Lil' more shading on the tree.

Yeah, exactly.

Well, perfection is worth waiting for.

Just drop that in my office whenever you're done.

Okay.

Carmen.

Okay, you stalled long enough to get him to come up here.

No, it's really not done.

[sighs] Perfect is the enemy of done.

Darcy, tomorrow is Thanksgiving.

The official gateway

to the glorious Christmas season.

During which you will make yourself crazy

attempting to achieve the impossible goal

of a perfect Christmas.

Not impossible. I just haven't done it yet.

I will see you tomorrow. Five o'clock sharp.

[instrumental music]

[telephone ringing]

Hey, Brandon. Happy Thanksgiving. You almost here?

Uh, I'm about to head into the store.

Tell me again, what kind of cheese I'm supposed to get.

The gouda kind, the bada kind?

Oh, speaking of cheesy.

- So Kraft Singles then? - Not funny.

My first-choice cheese is the herbed goat cheese,

but if they don't have that, then just get a plain one.

[Darcy] I definitely do not want a goat cheese

that was rolled in fruit or something.

If you do get the plain one, then I want

another herbed cheese

like a-a dill havarti,

but if you get the herbed cheese,

then I want smoked gouda

for counterpoint.

[Brandon] Darce, dinner is gonna be great.

Your parents will get along fine.

Thanks, Brandon. And hurry.

[door unlocks]

- Darcy, I'm here. - Hi, mom.

- Hello, hello. - Oh, hi.

- So who's coming? - Um, dad, of course.

And Carmen, and Brandon.

When are you going to give that nice Brandon a chance?

As I've discussed with you many times,

Brandon and I are just friends.

Better than being alone coming up on Christmas.

I want more than to just not be alone.

I want to be with the right person.

Like my copywriter, Tom.

He appreciates my attention to detail.

He is the sort of person I should be with.

You let too many shoulds run your life, Darcy.

Mom, I know you're full of opinions,

but you don't actually have to say them all out loud.

It's how I show that I care.

So did you bring the pie?

Did I what? Wait till you try these.

This bakery got a five-star Yelp review.

Oh, uh, I thought you were gonna make grandma's recipe.

I know, but every year you tell me I've done something wrong,

so I thought, you know, if I brought this,

they'd be perfect, like you want them.

Okay, uh, that's, that's not what I, I meant, but--

I bring the best pies in the city

and they're still not good enough for you.

Fine, I suppose I'll just throw them away.

No, no, no, I'm sure it'll be delicious.

- You have great taste. - Thank you.

Thank you for the pie.

[Bill] Hey, hey, hey!

[sighs] Why can you not have two Thanksgivings

like any other normal child of divorce?

Because my wonderful parents are so mature,

they can handle the occasional holiday meal together.

Hi, dad. Happy Thanksgiving.

I brought the green-bean casserole.

- I just need to put it together. - Oh.

Uh, okay.

Bill, you're not helping.

Oh, Darcy doesn't mind. Do you, kiddo?

Hey. Happy Thanksgiving.

- Hi. - Hey-hey-hey.

Uh, I got a little more

than you asked for.

- Oh, Brandon. Brandon. - Happy Thanksgiving.

[Sylvia] Happy Thanksgiving. [Brandon] How are you?

- Hey, Bill. - Hey.

- Hey, how you doing? - All right. Good to see you.

- Happy Thanksgiving. - [Brandon] Happy Thanksgiving.

[sizzling]

[Brandon] I have no idea what she asked for.

Kiddo, is there supposed to be

smoke coming out of the oven?

What? No. No, no, no, no.

- Oh. - Ooh.

[smoke alarm beeping]

[Brandon] Cheer up, Darce.

It's still delicious.

Well, like 90 percent of it's delicious, you know?

Holiday disappointment is inevitable.

[Brandon] Well, if every holiday went perfectly,

how would we ever tell them apart?

Oh, I gave up on perfect years ago.

Every time I try to make something perfect,

it always turned out wrong.

Oh, like the time we had spaghetti and meatballs

for Thanksgiving, because you forgot to mention

that you invited your cousins to swing by.

[laughs] Hey, that was fun.

[scoffs] Just as I'm putting out the turkey

for the three of us, up rolled an RV

with a dozen starved cousins expecting dinner.

So, back to the kitchen for me.

That Thanksgiving was complete chaos.

You two were so mad at each other.

Well, in those days it wasn't a holiday

unless we were at each other's throats.

- Holiday traditions are weird. - That's not what I meant.

Well, like, it's just not Christmas for me

without this hideous inflatable Santa Claus

wearing Bermuda shorts.

I hated it for years, but my dad thought it was hilarious

and now it's my Christmas tradition.

For my mother it wasn't Christmas unless we played

her Christmas album.

[Bill] She's leaving out that it is one hundred percent

in Gaelic. No idea what they were saying. Hah.

And the singing's a wee bit off-key.

But she loved us, so she tortured us with it every year.

Bill and I loathed it, but when she passed,

I couldn't bring myself to throw it out.

I wish I could have a Christmas like you did

when you were a kid in Ireland.

They weren't all that great, Darcy.

It just seems like the way Christmas should be.

One of my favorite Christmases gone wrong

was when our flight got grounded in Buffalo.

When we were on our way home from--

Yeah, our semester abroad.

We had to sleep on our backpacks

because all the hotels were full.

And there was no food because the supply trucks

couldn't get through the ten feet of snow.

Oh, and the s-stupid Oompah band kept playing polkas...

It was the worst Christmas ever.

Huh, what? No, come on, that was like one of my best.

You have a really odd sense of fun, Brandon.

I just want a perfect holiday. Just once.

One time where nothing went wrong.

That's just not real life, Darcy.

A girl can dream, I guess.

Well, I'm exhausted.

I don't know how you're gonna stay up all night.

There's only two hours until midnight.

12:01, and then it's officially the day after Thanksgiving

and the Christmas decorating begins.

It's still the day after Thanksgiving

in the morning, you know?

It's tradition.

Well, I know how important decorating is to you, kiddo,

so I will get out of your hair.

- I'll stay and help. - Oh, good.

I've got some heavy boxes for you to drag out.

- Thanks, Darce. - I love you.

That was delicious, despite the turkey.

Oh. Well, I tried.

That was a really fun night.

Your parents only sniped at each other three times.

Total win.

It is a pretty good record for them, huh?

Okay. Point me to the heavy things that need lifting.

- It's not time yet. - Oh, come on, be a rebel.

- Let's start early. - No. We can't.

It's still Thanksgiving, it's not right.

Yeah, you're right, the, uh, Christmas police

could find out, huh?

Oh.

Okay, compromise.

We take out the boxes now,

but we don't open them until midnight.

Deal?

12:01.

Deal.

But we cannot do any decorating

without the proper regalia.

A My Favorite Things mercantile.

Every village needs one, am I right?

Where else would you get your warm, woolen mittens?

Or your schnitzel with noodles. Oh.

Maybe in Pub.

Oh, only the classics served in Pub.

Oh, this is too cute!

Okay. I'd live here. I claim this as my house.

Uh, n-n-no. That is where I live.

Ouch. So I'm homeless.

No. You would live here.

Hm, well, uh, uh, do I at least get to pick where it goes?

[Darcy] No! No. No, that's my job.

Okay, boss.

Uh... where does this go?

Um, here.

And what about this guy?

- Ooh, ooh, careful. - I'm being careful.

He goes right here.

Isn't it a little boring, doing it the same way every year?

I mean, you have almost infinite possibilities here.

We could try some of them.

This is how I want it.

How do you know what you want if you haven't tried

all the options?

Because this way works. This way makes sense.

You know, nothing bad will happen

if you change something.

Why does anything have to change?

[Brandon] Well, because life is change.

And that's why my Christmas village doesn't, okay?

I don't have control over life! I have control over this...

Why are you being so weird about this?

This is something I look forward to every year,

and you're ruining it.

Ruining it? Great. Okay.

Well, I thought I was part of your fun,

but if not, I'll just go home.

See you later, Darcy.

Brandon, wait. Oh...

[shatters]

Oh, no.

[door closes]

[instrumental music]

[music on toy train]

[bell chimes]

How did I not know this place was still around?

This is where I first fell in love with Christmas villages.

- We do keep unusual hours. - Uh, yeah, it's...

It's 2:00 in the morning.

[Elsie] Well, it is the day after Thanksgiving.

Officially, the start of Christmas season.

That's what I always say.

So what are you missing?

- What? - From your Christmas village.

Oh. Well, I broke my post office.

You can't have a perfect Christmas village

with no post office.

Do you have an Irish one?

I've got one right here.

Oh.

It's perfect.

I'll take it. Thank you.

When I was a little girl

and things weren't so great at home,

I used to come here and stare at the Christmas villages.

I dreamed of a place where all your worries were gone

and it was the perfect Irish Christmas.

You know, uh, I have some one-of-a-kind pieces.

Over here.

She looks just like me.

[Elsie] She'd be right at home in your Irish Christmas village.

- How much? - For you, it's on the house.

- Really? - Hm.

Thank you.

- It's my pleasure. - [chuckles]

- Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas.

Here's to a perfect Christmas.

[alarm ringing]

Alexa, turn off alarm.

[alarm stops]

What? [gasps]

Did I take an Ambien last night?

[door creaks]

[Bill] Merry Christmas, love. [Sylvia] Merry Christmas, love.

Hot chocolate. With a bit of whipped cream.

Just the way you like it.

Why are you two together?

And smiling and...

Why are you talking like that, dad?

Whatever do you mean?

This is how I talk.

Are you all right, love?

Uh, no.

Have your hot chocolate. You'll feel better.

This is the best cocoa I've ever had.

Oh, thanks, dear.

Wait till you try the waffles.

Waffles?

Where am I?

Have a seat, love.

Just the way you like them.

- You guys are punking me. - We're what now?

This is some kind of reality show

where you gaslight the children of divorce

with happiness and everything they've ever wanted, huh?

Darcy, you're not making any sense now.

I'm not making any sense? You guys can't stand each other.

- Where'd you get that now? - No.

From your divorce!

[laughs] Your mother and I have been

happily married for 30 years.

Huh. I must be dreaming.

Oh! It is time to wake up now, Darcy. Wake up! Wake up!

Your blood sugars must be low. Eat up your waffles, love.

I don't want waffles! I wanna understand what is going on.

No waffles, on Christmas morning?

- I'm sorry. What now? - Christmas morning.

When we have waffles and hot chocolate

and then we open presents.

But it was Thanksgiving yesterday.

No, it was Christmas yesterday, love.

You just said it's Christmas today.

And it will be Christmas tomorrow.

What are you talking about?

It's Christmas every day here in Christmas Town, love.

Christmas Town?

Christmas Town?

[scoffs] Ah, no.

[laughs]

I'm insane.

Carmen was right. The stress got to me.

I've had a psychotic break...

I can't do this! I have to get out of here.

Come on, Bill.

[indistinct chatter]

I'm in my Christmas village.

I'm in my Christmas village.

[sheep bleating]

[cow mooing]

I'm in my Christmas village!

It's a Christmas miracle!

[laughs]

- [Bill] Honey! - Your waffles.

Oh!

Mom, these are so good.

Oh, thank you, love.

Shall we do the Christmas presents?

Ho-ho-ho!

A sketchbook. I love it.

- I knew you would. - Thank you.

- You're welcome. - [Darcy] This is perfect.

- This. Open this one next. - Okay.

Mmm...

[gasps] You guys...

It's beautiful!

Aw, thank you.

[Darcy] Merry Christmas. [woman] Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Gingerbread man?

Oh. Thank you.

- Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas.

Mm. Oh.

Hm.

Perfect.

Hello, gorgeous.

Tom? Why-why are you here?

[chuckles] Where else would I be?

I can't imagine spending Christmas

without my lovely girlfriend.

Girlfriend?

[kisses hand] Of course.

And, and since when are you Irish?

I don't understand the question, sweetheart.

[chuckles] Never mind.

Good, 'cause it's a perfect day.

For what?

We're goin' on a ride.

[instrumental music]

[Tom] It always snows on our carriage ride.

[Tom] You doing okay? [Darcy] Oh, my gosh.

[sighs] It's just as wonderful as I always thought it would be.

- Smells like Christmas. - [sniffs] Ah.

[Tom] Every single day.

It's time for one of your Christmas presents.

Now, you get to design

your very own Christmas sweater.

- Really? - Anything you want.

Made to order.

- Anything? - Choose your color.

Cool.

Hm.

- I love it! - Let's go show 'em off.

[country music]

[Darcy] Tom, you're right.

Ah.

[applauding]

[Darcy chuckles]

Will you close your eyes for me?

All right. You can look now.

Snow? But how?

- Christmas magic. - [chuckles] Oh, yeah.

[both chuckling]

- This calls for a snowman. - My thoughts exactly.

[Darcy chuckles]

This is the best snowman I have ever made.

It's perfect.

- You get me. - I know.

[instrumental music]

It's snowing.

All in the hour.

[piano music]

That's so beautiful. I'll be right back.

Mom, do you have a timer set for the turkey?

Oh, you know I don't need one.

You're just keeping an eye on it?

Oh! The turkey always comes out just right.

- These ovens are foolproof. - Should have known.

[Darcy] Mm.

All this rich food.

I'm gonna go for a run in the morning

or I'm gonna outgrow my pants.

[Bill] Uh, no one gains weight in Christmas Town, love.

- You can eat what you want. - Shut up.

- Sorry. - No, I mean, that's amazing.

You're perfect. Just the way you are.

And you always will be.

Oh, man.

I love it here.

[crickets chirping]

[owls hooting]

[instrumental music]

[Bill] Oh, look, there's a bench right up front.

[indistinct chatter]

[instrumental music]

- Carmen? - Mayor Carmen.

Seriously? Like, she won an election? People voted for her?

Oh, Mayor Carmen is the town's most popular resident.

- She's a delightful woman. - Huh?

Another Christmas miracle.

[Carmen] Happy Christmas, everyone.

As your mayor, it is my honor to welcome you all

to tonight's wonderful concert.

The perfect ending to another perfect Christmas.

So without further ado,

please welcome the Christmas Town singers.

♪ Silent night ♪

♪ Holy night ♪

[whispers] You sit here, I'll be right back.

♪ All is calm ♪

Carmen!

Yeah!

Ooh.

- So good to see you. - Wow!

Somebody really has the Christmas spirit.

This has been the best Christmas ever.

And-and Tom is just like I imagined.

He is romantic and sweet and handsome.

He's'st perfect.

I haven't seen Brandon anywhere, though. Have you--

I'm sorry, I've got to dash. I've got to put on my costume.

Oh, okay, w-w-w-we'll catch up later.

Uh-huh.

♪ ...peace ♪

♪ Sleep ♪

♪ In heavenly ♪

♪ Peace ♪♪

[Carmen] Beautiful. Well done.

Jingle Bells, everyone.

["Jingle Bells" playing]

♪ Dashing through the snow ♪

♪ In a one-horse open sleigh ♪

Everything all right?

Yeah. Just getting used to things around here.

Oh, don't worry. Everything is how it's supposed to be.

♪ Ride and sing a sleighing song tonight ♪

♪ Oh jingle bells jingle bells ♪

♪ Jingle all the way ♪

♪ Oh what fun it is to ride ♪

♪ In a one-horse open sleigh ♪♪

I have one more surprise for ya.

Uh, this has already been the best day ever.

And now it's even better.

Go on. Open it.

It's beautiful.

Thank you, Tom.

Well, goodnight.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Merry Christmas, Darcy.

Merry Christmas.

[Brandon on phone] Hey, so it's aft

[ndon on phone] Hey, so it's after Thanksgiving

which means you're probably out buying a Christmas tree

but this is like the 16th time I've called.

You're gonna have to talk to me at some point,

especially, since I'm coming over.

[bell chimes]

Having trouble finding what you want?

Uh, yeah, actually.

Um, uham,

I'm looking for a peace offering

for a Christmas super fan

and it's gotta be perfect.

Oh, that is tricky.

Does she have a Christmas village?

Yeah, a real cute Irish one, yeah.

But, uh, [inhales sharply] it seems like she's already got

everything she needs, though. So...

Perhaps, something from our one-of-a-kind section.

[Brandon] Whoa!

It's perfect, isn't it?

Yeah, it is.

[alarm ringing]

It's Christmas again!

[festive music]

- Merry Christmas, mom and dad. - Mm.

- Merry Christmas, Darcy. - [Bill] Merry Christmas, Darcy.

- Here you go! - Ooh, thank you.

[sniffs] Do I smell waffles?

- You sure do. Come on. - [Darcy squeals]

- Mm. - More hot chocolate?

Six seems a little naughty.

It is Christmas.

Good point, dad.

Fill her up.

Oh. A green one.

Thanks, mom and dad.

- You're welcome. - You're welcome.

Yup.

[water gushing]

[girl] Gingerbread man?

Thank you.

- Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas.

- Oh, hello, gorgeous. - [Darcy gasps]

Hey, Tom. Fancy meeting you here.

We always meet here.

I know, it was... It was just a...

Never mind. Shall we go for a ride?

[indistinct chatter]

So I was I thinking kind of, like a crew neckline.

Thought maybe this green and blend it with this green,

kinda give it like an overall, like, faded effect.

- Mm. - Isn't it great? Yeah.

[country music]

Another perfect snowman.

Another perfect Christmas with you.

- Mm. - More potatoes, Sylvia?

- Mm. Why, thank you, Bill. - Can I get in on that?

There's totally room. Right there.

- I'll go first. - Yes. [laughs]

I never get full.

♪ O Christmas tree O Christmas tree ♪

♪ Of all the trees most lovely ♪

♪ Each year you bring to me delight... ♪♪

I have one more surprise for ya.

Ah-ha! It's beautiful.

Thank you.

- Goodnight. - Goodnight.

[knocking on door]

Darcy?

- [sighs] - [knocking on door]

Come on! You know I hate it when we fight.

[sighs] I have a present.

Okay, if you didn't want me to let myself in,

you shouldn't have told me where the spare key is.

Darcy?

Darcy, you here? No.

Great.

Hm.

What the...

Darcy?

Darcy!

Darcy?

[sighs]

Man, where are you?

[alarm ringing]

Mm...

Ha.

- Good morning. Oh. - Good morning.

Hey, are there any shops open today?

Of course, love. They're open Christmas hours.

- Why do you ask? - Well...

It occurred to me that I never get you guys any presents.

Uh, sure, we don't need anything.

Sure, we got plenty of presents.

But none of them are from me.

You guys are so good to me. I'd like to get you something.

- Ah, that's sweet. - If unnecessary.

Okay. I'm going to get you presents.

Don't you want your waffles first?

[Darcy] It's okay. I'll grab a cookie.

[Carmen] "'Twas the night before Christmas

when all through the house

not a creature was stirring,

not even a mouse.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

in hopes that Saint Nicholas soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

while visions of sugar plums danced in their heads.

And mama in her 'kerchief and I in my cap,

had just settled down for a long winter's nap...

when out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window, I flew like a flash.

Tore open the shutter and threw open the sash.

The moon on the breast of a new fallen snow

gave the luster of mid-day..."

Hiya. Let me get those wrapped up for you.

Thank you.

Oh, you know, I'm not sure I have any money.

Oh, try your pocket.

That's where most people keep their money.

[instrumental music]

Hm.

Uh, you know, I am just gonna,

I'm gonna grab a few more, uh, a few, a coup...

- Some. I'll be right back. - Go ahead.

[Darcy humming "Jingle Bells"]

- Ooh. - Oh! I'm so sorry.

- Darcy? - Brandon?

I-I'm so glad I found you!

Where have you been hiding this whole time?

What are you talking about? This is a dream, right? Uh...

This is a dream, I-I ate some bad curry

and now I'm dreaming I'm in your Irish Christmas village?

Brandon?

Brandon-Brandon? You woke up here?

Yeah, in that little stone house you said was mine.

[sighs] It's really you!

- Who else would I be? - Ah! Another version of you.

It's hard to explain, but I don't think you're dreaming,

unless we're having the same dream.

Is that a thing? Can that happen?

What's the alternative? Another dimension in the multiverse?

A psychotic break?

Does it matter? Brandon, it's great here.

It's Christmas every day. Nothing ever goes wrong.

And you can eat whatever you want.

You never gain any weight.

- I can get behind that. - Hm. Hm...

Oh, oh, and...

you always have cash.

- Okay. - It's kind of the perfect place.

Come on. I'll take you home. My parents will make us waffles.

- Your parents? - Oh, yeah.

They're together here. And my dad is Irish now.

- Well, actually... Yeah. - Everyone's Irish here. Yeah.

- Hello, gorgeous. - Oh, hi, Tom.

- Tom, like, Tom from work? - Yeah.

Like her boyfriend, Tom. Uh, what's your name?

Um, Brandon.

You have a boyfriend now?

Apparently.

- Hey, ready to go for our drive? - Hm.

Oh, I thought we were gonna have waffles.

Oh, we always go for our ride now.

Uh, could we go later? Or tomorrow?

You know what? It's Christmas. We can do whatever we want.

We can have waffles and then go for a ride.

Yeah?

Whatever you want. Here, let me help you with those.

- No, I-I got 'em. - Oh, I insist.

Okay, here you go, big guy.

Huh?

Shall we?

Mm.

Sylvia, these waffles are amazing!

And Bill, this cocoa, it's the best.

Oh, cheers, Brandon.

Let's go for our drive now, dear.

Oh, that's a great idea.

Um, sure. I guess we could all go.

[Brandon] Yeah. [Darcy] Hm.

Sorry.

There's not really any room.

- Uh, sure there is. - Oh!

Uh... Yeah, well, maybe we should--

No, no, no, no. It's just... We'll be fine.

We'll just, oh...

- Just get all snuggly. - Ooh. Okay.

Uh, there we go. Just...

- That's my arm. - Oh, sorry. Okay.

Giddy up! Huh?

Oh! Okay.

All right. Christmas-sweater time.

Oh, what? That's it?

Yeah.

Wait, you don't go anywhere else in this thing?

No.

So you just do the exact same drive every day?

Our days are exactly as they're supposed to be.

Come on, Darcy, let's get you that Christmas sweater.

I think it'll be fine. Come on. Come on.

[instrumental music]

- Take my hand. - Yeah. All righty.

- [Brandon] What is this place? - Oh, just you wait.

We can pick anything we want.

- Anything? - Mm-hmm.

Okay.

- Yes. Yes. Excuse me. - Oh, sorry.

Yes. [mumbling]

Oh, ye old Pub. Now we're talking.

I could use a pint.

Oh, we're not here for drinking.

[country music]

Don't worry, it's easier than it...

looks.

Yeah.

Hey, Darcy, I bet you can't do this.

Oh, I bet I can.

- [Brandon] Oh, yeah? - Uh-huh.

Oh, okay. There you go. Yeah...

[Brandon] It's just old me.

This is awesome.

Darcy is a gazelle in a Christmas sweater.

Oh, you're-you're graceful is what I meant.

Aw, thank you.

- Should we spin? - Yes.

Hey, Darce, check this out.

[country music]

Whoo.

[woman] Whoo!

[all cheering]

Very nice.

[tapping on microphone]

Hi there, folks, be sure to check out

our delicious eggnog, cider

and hot chocolate with extra cream. Yummy.

- Is that Carmen? - Sort of.

Darcy. Tom, Bill, Sylvia.

So very delightful to see you

on this most perfect Christmas day.

Carmen, this is my friend, Brandon.

Hello, Brandon, everyone is always welcome

here in Christmas Town.

Oh.

It's good. It's good.

You'll like this version of her.

♪ Oh jingle bells jingle bells ♪

♪ Jingle all the way ♪

♪ Oh what fun it is to ride ♪

♪ In a one-horse open sleigh... ♪♪

I admit, Darcy, I finally get

what you love so much about this village.

It's really beautiful here.

It is, isn't it?

It seems like you might have overcorrected

a little on Carmen, though.

- What? - I mean, I know she was gloomy.

But this version of Carmen is ridiculously cheerful.

She's like a pod person.

What does that have to do with me?

Come on, this whole place, everyone in it,

it's all your fantasy.

Your parents back together, you dating Mr. Perfect,

Christmas every day, everything under control,

no room for change or improvisation.

Everything according to plan, your plan.

It's-it's your Christmas village come to life.

But I didn't make it happen. I woke up here just like you did.

Well, keep telling yourself that.

Uh, why are you trying to ruin this for me?

I'm sorry you find the truth so upsetting.

I think I've had enough of your company for a while.

Goodnight, Brandon.

Yeah, sure. Okay, I'll just go home.

Oh, no, sorry, I can't do that because I'm stuck here

in your weird little Christmas fantasy land.

So I'll just go back to my adorable stone house, I guess.

Good. Fine. Merry Christmas.

Ah, I finally have you all to myself.

Thank you. I'll-I'll wear it with the other ones.

Layering is in now, right?

- Goodnight, Darcy. - Merry Christmas, Brandon.

Tom.

Right. Sorry. That was weird.

Merry Christmas, Tom. Goodnight, Tom.

[alarm ringing]

I'm sorry. I was a jerk.

Forgive me?

Brandon!

I said I'm sorry.

Relax. I can't stay mad at you.

Come on.

There's something I wanna show ya.

- What? - You'll see.

- What is it? - You'll see.

Tell me.

- Check it out. Check it out. - Huh.

[gasps] Ah.

I know, it's like a Disney movie, right?

I had no idea it was so beautiful out here.

Reminds me of that hike we went on freshman year. Remember?

You know, I never told you this,

but... I thought it was gonna be a date.

It was.

- No, it wasn't. - It was supposed to be.

But, I, uh, I didn't exactly have game when I was 18.

You could say that again.

- Don't rub it in. - Rarr.

It's probably the biggest regret of my life

that I didn't kiss you that day.

Well, I'm glad you didn't

because odds are we would have broken up

and I wouldn't have my best friend.

Right. Your best friend.

Hey, we don't know where this goes.

We shouldn't... We should go back.

Well, there's an easy way to fix that.

We keep walking and find out.

Oh. Okay, Magellan. Aye, aye, captain.

- Oh, look, a deer! Whoa! - There's another one. Whoa!

Are you okay?

Absolutely. Totally fine.

- Okay. - [laughs]

Hey, wait. We should see where this goes.

Yeah.

[Darcy] Now, that is picturesque.

[Brandon] Yeah.

- Should we say hi? - Sure.

[Darcy] Hey.

Hi.

I wish I had an apple for you.

Your wish is granted.

I love it here.

- Good. - [Brandon] Is that tasty?

Ooh. Yes. Oh.

Uh, gosh, it's getting cold.

Hell yeah.

- [girl] Gingerbread man? - Ah! Thank you.

[Brandon] Oh, whoa.

These look so delicious.

Did you have enough? Was that good?

Mm. [muffled] Thank you.

Mm. Mm.

- Mm. Yeah. - Gosh.

[Brandon] After me? [sighs]

Brr, I'm cold.

[exhales] Yeah, let's make a fire.

Okay.

[Darcy] Yes.

Right.

I wonder if there's anything on TV here.

Come on, Real Housewives Of The North Pole. Please.

[instrumental music on TV]

Yule Log TV it is.

I always wanted my fireplace and stereo.

[chuckles]

- No? Okay, so... - No. Not gonna work.

What are we going for, like, regal

or, uh, rugged or inscrutable?

- Just be you. That's all I need. - Okay.

Just need to get a little closer.

Okay. Okay.

Oh, those are like ice.

Oh, you're so sensitive.

Yeah, let me warm 'em up for ya.

Oh, you'ight. That is much better.

Yup.

- [Bill] Hot cider, love? - Uh. Ah.

Dad! That's so nice of you.

You're usually out this time of day,

but you're inside today.

Yes. Thank you.

Darcy!

Darcy?

- Oh, Darcy! - [Bill] Come on in.

There you are. I was so worried.

I-I looked for you, uh-uh, in-in the square

and on the road and the mill and the pub.

You weren't at any of those places.

I know. I'm sorry. I...

I was just trying something different today.

Different? But why?

Our days are exactly as they should be.

Oh, you're all here.

You're usually out at this time.

Yup! All inside today.

Today is different.

I better get the dinner ready.

Well...

Uh, don't let us keep you from...

wherever it is you need to be going.

Oh, I'm right where I'm supposed to be.

- Hm. - Hm.

I am leaving.

♪ Dashing through the snow ♪

♪ In a one-horse open sleigh ♪

♪ O'er the fields we go ♪

♪ Laughing all the way ♪♪

[alarm ringing]

[Carmen] "Up the chimney he rose.

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle.

And away they all flew, like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight...

Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night."

- Can I talk to you? - Of course!

I can always make time for my constituents.

No, no, no, I mean, as a friend.

Oh. Okay.

No, I really think you should think about joining the choir.

It's such a great Christmas experience, you should.

- You should. - I know, but I can't.

- Oh, thank you. - [Carmen] Thank you.

So.

What did you wanna talk about?

Well, I'm starting to wonder...

You know, like, when you have a favorite sweater

and it's really comfortable and soft,

but it has, maybe, a few stains and some holes.

It's not really a dress-up sweater,

though it does make you laugh.

But, when, out in the world, you want a newer, fancier

more put-together, less-frumpy sweater.

The kind of sweater that makes a statement

about who you are and who you're supposed to be with,

even if it's not as soft as your old one.

I think maybe you just need to wash it a few more times.

It's more of a-a metaphorical sweater.

See, Tom--

Oh, don't worry about it.

He'll propose when the time is right.

No, no, no. No, no, that's not what I--

He's handsome, kind,

dependable, neat, punctual.

He's everything anyone could want.

Right. You're right.

I don't wanna be with someone who can't write things down

and is messy and unpredictable and funny and exciting

and wrong for me.

Totally wrong for me.

Just trust that things are how they are supposed to be.

Perfect.

Yeah. Perfect.

Hey.

- Hey, hey, you, uh, yesterday-- - Yeah, wait, stop, stop, stop.

[stammers] I don't want you to say anything we can't take back.

- Darcy, just-just wait. Hang on. - No, no, no.

Please let me say this.

You are so important to me.

You are my oldest friend, my best friend.

And that's how I want it to stay.

That's what works. That's what makes sense.

Makes sense? What about what feels right?

We would drive each other crazy.

In a good way.

- We're too different. - We're complementary.

You need a puzzle piece you fit together with.

- Not an identical puzzle piece. - You create chaos.

Ah. I push you out of your comfort zone.

Brandon, I'm with Tom now. You have to accept that.

With Tom? Tom is not a real person.

This is not a real place.

None of this is real!

We can't know that!

So what, you're just planning on staying here forever?

Why not? Things are good here.

- It's perfect here! - Perfect?

Nothing ever changes! Christmas has lost all meaning.

It was special because it came once a year. Once!

There's only one reason I've been putting up with all this

and that's you, because I lo...

[Brandon] Oh...

Yeah. 'Cause I'm an idiot.

I thought this was the perfect opportunity

for me to finally show you how good we could be together.

But all you want is a dream, a safe, ordered fantasy

where you can hide behind all your comfortable traditions

instead of taking a risk on anything real!

No, no, no, Brandon. Brandon, wait.

I can't believe it took me this long to realize

you don't want change. Let me finish, please, okay?

You keep doing the same thing over and over again!

And that's not real life, Darcy.

Brandon!

Oh, what?

[Darcy sobbing]

Tom.

I'm so glad I found you. Brandon just--

Don't worry, Darcy.

There's still time to go for a ride.

Why don't you pick some colors? You'll feel better.

Oh. Uh, but what other colors do you want?

None.

Black isn't very, um, Christmassy.

Neither am I today.

Well, I had to add something to make it a Christmas sweater.

I see.

[country music]

What's that?

It's a snowma-corn. The first of its kind!

There's no such thing as a snowma-corn.

- There could be. - That's funny.

What about salad for dinner?

Christmas pizza?

We always have turkey for Christmas.

But it's always Christmas. Couldn't we go out for Chinese?

Guess that's a no.

Okay.

Ah.

Thanks.

Don't you like it?

It's not that. It's beautiful. It's just...

Don't you think that doing the same thing every day is boring?

[chuckles] No.

Getting to live the perfect Christmas

over and over again with the perfect woman...

that's a dream come true.

Yes. A dream come true. Goodnight.

[alarm ringing]

[cy sighs]

- Tsk. Morning, Darcy. - Mm...

How about I make another batch of waffles?

No. Thank you.

Is there a burger joint in town?

We could go down to Pub.

Yeah, Pub sounds good.

Happy Christmas, dears!

- Happy Christmas. - Happy Christmas.

Thank you.

Can I get a burger?

Well, since it's Christmas,

we only have the Christmas special.

Turkey, gravy and all the fixin's.

Of course. Um, three specials. I guess.

Now, would you like that with hot chocolate,

hot cider or eggnog?

- Surprise me. - Comin' right up.

Mm.

I brought you one of each.

Lovely. Thank you.

Which one do you want?

We'll have whichever.

- But which do you want? - Whichever you don't want.

If I weren't here, which one would you drink?

But you are here. We want to make sure you get what you want.

Dad, do you have any opinions?

Whatever you want is fine by me.

Really? No opinions?

Look, love, we just want you to be happy.

Okay, then, what would make me happy

is if you guys made a decision.

- We couldn't do that. - [Bill] No.

We know how much you like being in charge.

[Sylvia] Yeah, we want to be certain

that you get what you want.

I don't want any of this.

Then what do you want?

I want a burger.

I don't think they have those.

I know. I will have the cider.

All right, love. If that's what you want.

Darcy! [chuckles] There you are.

I was looking for you everywhere.

- You found me. - We're late for our ride.

I'm not really feeling like riding today.

Well, it's-it's Christmas.

Couldn't we do anything else?

Come on. Something different. Please.

Whoa! You're going the wrong way!

Darcy.

Oh, fudge this.

What? That's not what I meant. I meant figgy pudding.

[gasps]

I mean, toasted chestnuts!

W-w-what, what the humbug is happening?

Darcy, that is no kind of language for Christmas.

What are you talking about? All I'm saying are Christmas words!

Oh, I think we both know what you're trying to say.

And it's lacking in the holiday cheer department.

[scoffs] It is not possible for a person to be cheerful

one hundred percent of the time.

Well, not with that attitude.

Well, the chorus was lovely, wasn't it?

Hm.

Um, so let me guess. You're gonna give me a necklace now.

- Of course. - And then we're gonna kiss.

Of course.

You know what? I... Why don't we just skip all that?

I kind of feel like being alone tonight. Okay?

Merry Christmas.

[alarm ringing]

I'm getting out of here.

[instrumental music]

[indistinct chatter]

[children cheering]

[woman] Stop that car now!

[instrumental music]

Striped woolen muffler!

[bleating]

[bleating]

Frosted fruitcake!

Okay. Come on.

Gate, secret door, ladder.

[rumbling]

Jingle bells!

Stocking stuffer!

[alarm ringing]

- [girl] Gingerbread man? - [woman] Thank you.

- [girl] Gingerbread man? - Not today.

But it's Christmas.

Oh, is it? I hadn't noticed.

It's only my millionth spin on the infinite carousel

of Christmas that never ends.

So forgive me if I want one gumdrop day

without one of your stupid gingerbread men!

[crying]

Oh, oh, oh, no, no. Oh, no, no. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

No, no, don't take it... Uh, I take it back.

Don't do that. [mumbling] Merry Christmas.

Thank you! I-I love your gingerbread men, okay?

Merry Christmas, everybody!

Santa does love you! Okay.

Christmas not going how you planned?

You?

You did this to me.

It was that stupid figurine you gave me.

I opened a door.

You're the one who went through it.

Well, open it back up...

"Elsie," 'cause I want out.

It's not a literal door, Darcy.

This world, it's yours.

Only you can get yourself out of it.

But how?

What do you really want, Darcy?

- To go home. - No.

In your heart of hearts,

what do you really want?

Ah, well, you better figure it out...

or it's Christmas sweaters forever.

Well, w-what do you mean? Elsie? Christmas what?

Nutmeg!

[Darcy] What do I want?

What kind of candy-cane question is that?

I know what I want. I want to go home! [grunts]

[wind gushing]

Oh, frost you, snow guy. And frost this place.

I am never getting home.

[door shuts]

[Sylvia] Mayor Carmen's voice was pitch perfect tonight.

[Bill] Oh, yes, yes. Oh, yes, yes.

What are you doing here, pet?

[Bill] What are you doing?

- I don't know. - Oh, you look so sad.

I-I-I'll make hot chocolate.

My current problem is beyond hot chocolate.

I don't understand.

No problem is beyond hot chocolate.

Tsk. And that's the problem.

Okay, now, now I really don't understand.

I know.

I miss you guys.

[Sylvia] Well, we're right here.

Not these yous. I miss the real you.

I miss your laugh

and your opinions.

If the real you could hear me say that,

I would get such an earful of "I told you so."

I love you guys.

I don't tell you enough.

- We love you, too. - We love you, too.

[alarm ringing]

[alarm ringing]

[Darcy groans]

[knocking on door]

Darcy?

May I?

I'm worried about ya.

We're all worried about ya.

We all love you, Darcy,

but we can tell you're unhappy.

And we haven't been dancing in days.

I don't understand what's changed,

but...

I want to fill you with comfort and joy.

Tell me how.

I'm not really sure.

Well, I have an idea.

Are you willing to try something?

Trust me.

[instrumental music]

[Sylvia] You're gonna look like Cinderella.

- [Carmen] Yeah. - Those beautiful soft curls.

[Carmen] The curls are coming out really nicely.

So pretty.

[Carmen] What does it say?

[instrumental music]

- You look lovely. - Thank you.

♪ Deck the halls with boughs of holly ♪

♪ Fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la ♪

♪ 'Tis the season to be jolly ♪

♪ Fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la ♪

♪ Don we now our gay apparel ♪

♪ Fa-la-la la-la-la la-la-la ♪

♪ Troll the ancient Yuletide carol... ♪♪

[Carmen] I'd like to dedicate tonight's concert to Darcy,

our very own Miss Christmas.

I'm so glad to see you back to your true self, Darcy.

[instrumental music]

♪ O holy night ♪

♪ The stars are brightly shining ♪

♪ It is the night ♪

♪ Of our dear Savior's birth ♪

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas, Darcy.

Mom, dad, it's beautiful.

- [Bill chuckles] - It's not perfect, but...

[Darcy] I love it.

You put on the finishing touch.

- Thanks. - Where should it go?

Right there.

[Bill] Excellent. Perfect spot.

♪ A thrill of hope ♪

♪ The weary world rejoices ♪

[Darcy] You'll never beat me, Brandon.

Girls rule the castle.

[laughing]

♪ Fall on your knees ♪

[Carmen] Hey, Darce? [Darcy] Hm?

- Yeah. I know, right? - Ooh. Oh, I like that.

- You like it? Yeah? Okay. - Yeah, it's very good, you.

Well, what about this one?

♪ O night divine ♪

Because you're confusing me. I'm trying to teach you--

Annoying. Don't. Don't throw at me.

I'd be so upset if you throw that back at me.

- You would? Well, maybe I will! - Yeah, I would. No!

♪ Divine ♪

♪ O night ♪

♪ O night divine ♪♪

- Tom-- - I know, it's overwhelming.

- Uh, n-no-- - Darcy...

Would you do me the great honor of marrying me?

Uh...

No.

Sorry?

I don't love you.

I-I don't understand.

- Uh, we're perfect together. - No.

We're the same puzzle piece.

I, I need to be with someone

who pushes me out of my comfort zone,

who makes me a better person,

who reminds me

that perfect isn't about

how something looks,

it's about how it feels.

But we gave you everything you could possibly dream of.

What I want isn't a dream.

It's reality.

It's messy and difficult

and wonderful.

It's my mom full of opinions

and my dad who laughs too loud...

and my friend who is weird,

[chuckles] and dark and lovely

just as she is.

As you all are.

There isn't only one right way to do Christmas.

There are other sbesides y

and other beverages besides eggnog,

cider and hot chocolate.

Break out of the box.

Let yourselves build snow unicorns.

Wear a purple sweater.

I believed that Christmas should be a certain way.

And I was wrong.

So wrong.

[wind howling]

Darcy, don't go in that.

I think it's my way home.

Thank you for everything.

Merry Christmas, Tom.

It was only a dream.

It was only a...

Uh...

[instrumental music]

You two are not gonna cause anymore trouble.

I look ridiculous.

Who cares?

[instrumental music]

[Darcy] Brandon?

Darcy?

[sighs] I-I wasn't sure if I was ever gonna see you again.

I wasn't sure you'd even want to.

- W-well, uh, you know... - I...

I'm sorry that I got hung up on the idea of being perfect,

which is crazy because there's no such thing.

I've been holding back all these years

because I've been afraid of change.

I've been afraid of losing my best friend,

instead of realizing that everything I want

is standing right here in front of me.

I love my best friend.

I wanna kiss my best friend.

I've waited so long to hear you say that.

So what is with this dress?

Oh, um, well, I was crowned Miss Christmas Town.

And Tom proposed in front of the whole town

while Carmen serenaded us.

Tsk. So standard Christmas Town stuff.

Yeah. Pretty much.

It makes me so happy to see you with Brandon, love.

Mm-hmm. Thank you. And you can say it.

- What? - "I told you so."

- I would never. - Mm-hmm. You were right.

Hey, Darcy. Where do you want me to put this?

[chuckles] You decide. I'm happy with whatever.

Okay, you know I told you

I love you exactly the way you were, right?

[Darcy] Aw, that's sweet.

That is not that horrible record of your mother's.

- Is it? - Yes. It is.

Darcy said I could play it

because it makes me feel like Christmas.

Well, then I get to play my Dogs Barking

Jingle Bells album.

- Not that awful-- - You know what?

We'll try it. I love you guys.

You know, there is an alternate universe

where you are very, very nice to each other.

Let's try to tap into that, huh? Merry Christmas.

Kid's got a point.

Yes. You haven't food in your teeth yet.

So there's that.

Thanks.

And the smell of the Christmas tree

is overpowering your terrible perfume.

So that's nice.

- Merry Christmas, Bill. - Merry Christmas, Sylvia.

I thought it wasn't a holiday for you without a turkey.

Oh, I think it's gonna be a very long time

before I feel like turkey again.

Hey, Darcy, who's the extra place setting for?

Oh, just you wait.

[door unlocks]

- [Brandon] Hey, come on in. - Hey. Thanks.

- [Darcy] Hey, Tom. - Hey.

Hey, thanks so much for inviting me, Darcy.

It's actually my first Christmas not flying home,

so I wasn't really sure what I was gonna do.

[Darcy] Yeah, come on in.

So glad you could join us, man.

- You must be Brandon, right? - Yeah.

- Yeah, I've heard all about you. - Cool.

Uh, Tom, I actually thought you could sit over here.

Next to Carmen.

Yeah, sounds good.

[indistinct chatter]

Everybody, thank you for coming

to our first Everybody's Favorite Food Christmas.

I'm so happy to be able to spend this day with people I love.

- Hear, hear. - Mm, hear, hear.

[all] Cheers. [Sylvia] Cheers everyone.

- Cheers. - All right, dig in.

- [Bill] That was great! - Oh, man.

I could get used to these kind of Christmases.

Well, try not to get too attached.

I might wanna change it up next year.

Yeah, well, whatever you want.

Whatever we want.

Darcy, where is your Christmas village?

Oh, I decided it was time to let that go.

[toy train whistling]

It's beautiful, isn't it?

It's perfect.