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1
00:01:26,671 --> 00:01:29,037
Good evening, culture vultures...
2
00:01:29,107 --> 00:01:34,044
and welcome to another installment
of Mash-to-Pieces Theater.
3
00:01:37,482 --> 00:01:39,712
Tonight we ask the question:
4
00:01:40,218 --> 00:01:43,381
""To be, or not to be""
5
00:01:43,588 --> 00:01:47,615
Or in this case,
an actor stuck with an average face...
6
00:01:47,692 --> 00:01:50,388
who's so sick and tired of auditioning...
7
00:01:50,461 --> 00:01:53,487
he's willing to do almost anything.
8
00:01:54,465 --> 00:01:56,831
Did I say ""almost""?
9
00:02:00,104 --> 00:02:05,064
I call this sickening saga Top Billing.
10
00:02:11,015 --> 00:02:14,109
Does he still have a drug problem?
Just tell me, Celia, does he?
11
00:02:14,185 --> 00:02:17,916
I was told he's finished with rehab,
and now I hear that he's not.
12
00:02:18,356 --> 00:02:21,655
Get back to me when you know
what's going on with him, okay?
13
00:02:21,826 --> 00:02:22,918
What?
14
00:02:23,194 --> 00:02:25,458
Yeah, sure I dated him
but it was years ago...
15
00:02:25,530 --> 00:02:28,863
a whole fucking lifetime
before all this drug stuff.
16
00:02:29,567 --> 00:02:30,829
Yeah, he was okay in bed.
17
00:02:30,902 --> 00:02:33,735
I mean, he wasn't great,
but then again, who is?
18
00:02:33,805 --> 00:02:37,468
All right, I've got to run, honey.
So you'll get back to me?
19
00:02:37,976 --> 00:02:39,102
All right.
20
00:02:39,444 --> 00:02:42,208
I tell you, such schmucks. Such schmucks!
21
00:02:51,456 --> 00:02:54,118
Jenny, did Leon ever call?
22
00:02:55,193 --> 00:02:56,490
Jenny?
23
00:03:01,933 --> 00:03:05,733
Leon, what are you doing? Where's Jenny?
24
00:03:06,704 --> 00:03:11,107
Jenny's dead. And you're next, bitch!
25
00:03:12,710 --> 00:03:15,270
No, don't, Leon. Don't!
26
00:03:15,346 --> 00:03:18,042
The silent scream is the loudest.
27
00:03:20,652 --> 00:03:23,712
That's great. Thanks for coming in.
28
00:03:26,591 --> 00:03:27,888
That's it?
29
00:03:28,159 --> 00:03:31,151
Yeah, you're terrific,
but you're not quite what I'm looking for.
30
00:03:31,229 --> 00:03:34,164
Well, what do you need? I'm an actor.
31
00:03:34,599 --> 00:03:37,534
-I need someone heavier.
-I can wear padding.
32
00:03:38,336 --> 00:03:41,328
I don't mean heavier. I mean bigger.
33
00:03:44,008 --> 00:03:46,238
You don't understand. I need this job.
34
00:03:46,311 --> 00:03:49,712
I know you do,
but you're wrong for the part.
35
00:03:49,948 --> 00:03:51,609
I need a killer.
36
00:03:51,683 --> 00:03:55,175
Okay, how's this? I don't have any money,
I haven't eaten in a week...
37
00:03:55,253 --> 00:03:56,914
and I need this fucking job!
38
00:03:56,988 --> 00:03:58,387
Great, it's great.
39
00:03:58,456 --> 00:04:01,653
But I need someone physically larger
with a tan!
40
00:04:05,363 --> 00:04:07,957
Jenny's dead. And you're next, bitch!
41
00:04:17,842 --> 00:04:18,968
Fuck!
42
00:04:41,432 --> 00:04:42,694
Barry?
43
00:04:44,168 --> 00:04:45,533
Barry Blye.
44
00:04:46,004 --> 00:04:49,531
-Yeah, hi, Winton, how you doing?
-I'm fine. How the hell are you?
45
00:04:49,807 --> 00:04:51,069
How's Lisa?
46
00:04:51,175 --> 00:04:53,268
She's still the best thing
that ever happened to me.
47
00:04:53,344 --> 00:04:57,747
-Remember that rat-hole we all lived in?
-Yeah, I sure do. We still live there.
48
00:04:57,815 --> 00:05:00,909
Well, it's nice chatting with you.
I'll see you later. I gotta go.
49
00:05:00,985 --> 00:05:02,612
Come on, Barry.
50
00:05:02,687 --> 00:05:05,451
You can't still be angry with me
because I work for a living.
51
00:05:05,523 --> 00:05:07,923
Sure I can.
Let me ask you something, Winton.
52
00:05:07,992 --> 00:05:11,257
On your resume, does it still say ""actor""?
53
00:05:13,931 --> 00:05:17,628
God, you crack me up, you know that?
Haven't you got it yet?
54
00:05:17,735 --> 00:05:19,760
This business doesn't have
anything to do with acting.
55
00:05:19,837 --> 00:05:21,202
Just get away from me, all right?
56
00:05:21,272 --> 00:05:23,672
When are you gonna learn
an actor is one who acts...
57
00:05:23,741 --> 00:05:25,868
-not one who collects unemployment?
-Just get away.
58
00:05:25,943 --> 00:05:29,572
If you spent a little less money on classes
and more on some decent clothes...
59
00:05:29,647 --> 00:05:33,515
and maybe, maybe,
some blue contact lenses...
60
00:05:33,918 --> 00:05:35,681
you might work for a change.
61
00:05:35,753 --> 00:05:38,119
Yeah? Well, I've seen your work, Winton.
62
00:05:38,189 --> 00:05:40,749
Let me tell you,
I really loved that commercial you did...
63
00:05:40,825 --> 00:05:44,659
you know, that little tango you did
on top of a disposable douche.
64
00:05:46,898 --> 00:05:49,025
Sure. I do commercials.
65
00:05:49,634 --> 00:05:52,728
I got $50,000 last year for one spot alone.
66
00:05:53,838 --> 00:05:57,365
I don't ""do,"" okay? I act.
67
00:05:58,810 --> 00:06:01,404
This is Hamlet. It's about acting.
68
00:06:02,914 --> 00:06:05,041
""Avenue D, at Canal""?
69
00:06:06,284 --> 00:06:08,184
What the hell kind of theater
would be down there?
70
00:06:08,252 --> 00:06:09,810
All right, I gotta go.
71
00:06:10,788 --> 00:06:12,756
Barry, you're 35 years old.
72
00:06:12,924 --> 00:06:16,917
How much longer are you gonna do
free theater that no one wants to see?
73
00:06:17,728 --> 00:06:20,595
Hamlet doesn't need an audience.
It's a classic.
74
00:06:21,365 --> 00:06:24,994
Maybe so, but Lisa deserves better, Barry.
75
00:06:28,673 --> 00:06:31,107
Barry!
76
00:06:32,343 --> 00:06:34,402
Mel can do Shakespeare.
77
00:06:35,213 --> 00:06:37,443
But Mel has the look.
78
00:06:40,451 --> 00:06:41,577
Incredible.
79
00:06:41,986 --> 00:06:45,012
Jesus Christ. I am a hell of an actor!
80
00:06:45,356 --> 00:06:49,156
I'm a lot more talented than
a lot of those assholes out there making it.
81
00:06:49,227 --> 00:06:50,922
Guys like Winton Robbins.
82
00:06:51,262 --> 00:06:54,754
No, Winton Robbins has a face.
83
00:06:55,433 --> 00:06:59,062
-He has the look!
-And I have talent!
84
00:06:59,637 --> 00:07:03,767
Well, yes, talent's nice, too.
But you haven't got the look.
85
00:07:04,142 --> 00:07:07,873
You could have the look.
I introduced you to that plastic surgeon.
86
00:07:07,945 --> 00:07:10,345
I'm not a prostitute.
I'm not gonna alter my face.
87
00:07:10,414 --> 00:07:13,008
Look, you're an agent.
You just do your job.
88
00:07:13,084 --> 00:07:15,746
You just call these people up
and you get me this part, all right?
89
00:07:15,820 --> 00:07:19,881
Look, Barry, I've been in the business
a long time.
90
00:07:20,291 --> 00:07:23,317
I've seen them come,
and I've seen them go.
91
00:07:24,061 --> 00:07:27,758
And, Barry, I think it's time for you to go.
92
00:07:28,499 --> 00:07:32,697
So, you're just letting me go, just like that.
93
00:07:32,904 --> 00:07:36,067
Well, hey, dreams are great.
94
00:07:37,775 --> 00:07:39,743
But I've got expenses.
95
00:07:41,312 --> 00:07:44,406
So I think it's time
you find some representation...
96
00:07:44,482 --> 00:07:46,848
more suitable to your needs.
97
00:07:48,352 --> 00:07:49,478
Fine.
98
00:07:50,688 --> 00:07:54,852
I'll get the part myself, and I'll be brilliant.
99
00:07:56,327 --> 00:07:57,555
You know what?
100
00:07:57,628 --> 00:08:01,689
I'm gonna take my rave reviews
and my $250 a week...
101
00:08:01,799 --> 00:08:05,132
and shove them down your fucking throat!
102
00:08:26,324 --> 00:08:29,350
Use the goddamn freight elevator,
asshole.
103
00:08:29,427 --> 00:08:31,190
I just climbed five flights.
104
00:08:32,296 --> 00:08:33,763
I'm talking to you!
105
00:08:34,532 --> 00:08:36,159
That's my stereo.
106
00:08:37,602 --> 00:08:40,571
That's my apartment.
What the hell do you think you're doing?
107
00:08:40,638 --> 00:08:43,505
-Barry!
-Lisa, what's going on here?
108
00:08:44,208 --> 00:08:47,143
I'm just taking what's mine...
109
00:08:48,479 --> 00:08:50,947
and enough of your stuff
to make up for what you owe me.
110
00:08:51,015 --> 00:08:53,381
-What are you talking about?
-l....
111
00:08:54,752 --> 00:08:56,049
You're a loser.
112
00:08:56,754 --> 00:08:59,086
I promised Mr. Kroger a few things...
113
00:08:59,156 --> 00:09:02,717
and he agreed not to have
you thrown in jail for vagrancy.
114
00:09:05,830 --> 00:09:09,527
It's over, Barry. I'm moving in with Bruno.
115
00:09:10,935 --> 00:09:13,802
-Bruno?
-We met in class.
116
00:09:15,172 --> 00:09:18,505
Barry, Bruno. Bruno, Barry.
117
00:09:19,477 --> 00:09:21,809
Lisa, I love you.
118
00:09:25,583 --> 00:09:29,019
Yeah. Look, we've gotta go.
119
00:09:31,889 --> 00:09:34,380
I left some chicken in the fridge for you.
120
00:09:35,793 --> 00:09:37,158
Chicken?
121
00:09:40,965 --> 00:09:42,899
We could still be friends.
122
00:09:49,774 --> 00:09:51,207
Excuse me.
123
00:09:58,349 --> 00:09:59,782
You're a loser.
124
00:10:05,456 --> 00:10:06,718
Spare change?
125
00:10:24,675 --> 00:10:26,370
You gotta be kidding.
126
00:10:50,801 --> 00:10:52,996
Excuse me, is this the theater....
127
00:10:54,538 --> 00:10:57,701
-What the hell are you doing here?
-I'm here to audition.
128
00:10:57,842 --> 00:11:00,811
What are you doing here?
This audition is for Hamlet.
129
00:11:01,112 --> 00:11:03,273
I came down to make a point to you.
130
00:11:03,347 --> 00:11:05,372
I bet you stayed up all night
reading the play.
131
00:11:05,449 --> 00:11:06,746
You're damn right, I did.
132
00:11:06,817 --> 00:11:09,911
You don't walk
into a Hamlet audition cold, you idiot.
133
00:11:10,121 --> 00:11:11,679
It's poetry, for Christ's sake.
134
00:11:11,756 --> 00:11:15,021
The part requires an actor, Winton,
not a face.
135
00:11:15,359 --> 00:11:20,058
Fine. And had this been a theater,
I bet you I would've gotten the part.
136
00:11:21,432 --> 00:11:23,229
I'll see you around, Barry.
137
00:11:30,007 --> 00:11:34,444
-ls this Hamlet?
-No, it's Shangri-la.
138
00:11:34,779 --> 00:11:37,976
Don't you recognize it?
And I'm the Dalai Lama.
139
00:11:38,616 --> 00:11:41,084
Let me guess, you're here to audition?
140
00:11:41,352 --> 00:11:42,614
Yes.
141
00:11:44,455 --> 00:11:45,649
Yes, I am.
142
00:11:46,957 --> 00:11:50,654
Well, don't just stand around. Actors!
143
00:11:59,970 --> 00:12:01,335
Ouch.
144
00:12:03,841 --> 00:12:07,538
""Alas! poor Yorick.
145
00:12:08,412 --> 00:12:13,349
""l knew him, Horatio,
a fellow of infinite jest...
146
00:12:14,151 --> 00:12:17,518
""excellent and fancy: he hath--""
147
00:12:17,588 --> 00:12:20,284
No!
148
00:12:20,357 --> 00:12:23,451
It's wrong, it's all wrong!
149
00:12:27,131 --> 00:12:30,828
Hamlet is holding in his hands
the skull of Yorick.
150
00:12:31,168 --> 00:12:35,366
He sees what 20 years
of rotting in the ground...
151
00:12:35,439 --> 00:12:37,236
have done to his friend.
152
00:12:37,308 --> 00:12:40,402
That is why he is so upset.
153
00:12:40,945 --> 00:12:45,279
-Who? Yorick?
-No, you dunce! Hamlet.
154
00:12:46,183 --> 00:12:50,142
Hamlet. You pick up the skull...
155
00:12:51,155 --> 00:12:55,023
you look at it, you talk to it.
156
00:12:56,293 --> 00:12:57,624
You even kiss it.
157
00:12:59,830 --> 00:13:03,527
Here, kiss it. Kiss it.
158
00:13:03,601 --> 00:13:07,332
-But it's plastic.
-You won't kiss plastic, will you?
159
00:13:07,671 --> 00:13:12,074
Get off of my stage! Do you hear me?
160
00:13:14,645 --> 00:13:16,044
Plastic.
161
00:13:17,214 --> 00:13:20,547
Beaks! They've lost another one.
162
00:13:21,218 --> 00:13:24,119
Where? Where are my props?
163
00:13:24,722 --> 00:13:26,587
Yes, your bloatedness.
164
00:13:28,058 --> 00:13:30,583
Searching.
165
00:13:39,236 --> 00:13:43,502
What are you doing? You're an actor.
I command you to act!
166
00:13:45,276 --> 00:13:47,176
I don't have any lines.
167
00:13:47,978 --> 00:13:52,915
That's no excuse. Living is acting.
Being is acting.
168
00:13:53,617 --> 00:13:56,381
This is the gravedigger scene.
You're a gravedigger.
169
00:13:56,453 --> 00:14:00,822
Dig, or I'll ram this shovel
down your putrid little throat!
170
00:14:01,559 --> 00:14:02,719
Dig!
171
00:14:04,795 --> 00:14:08,162
Jesus. That is one tough director.
172
00:14:08,866 --> 00:14:12,097
He's demanding. I respect that.
173
00:14:14,605 --> 00:14:19,099
Excuse me.
I'm here to audition for the role of Hamlet.
174
00:14:19,877 --> 00:14:21,242
What?
175
00:14:25,049 --> 00:14:27,074
Who broke my concentration?
176
00:14:28,519 --> 00:14:30,749
Everyone...
177
00:14:30,821 --> 00:14:34,018
out of my sight!
178
00:14:36,627 --> 00:14:40,256
You two, come to my office.
179
00:14:54,712 --> 00:14:56,236
Do you know who I am?
180
00:14:57,514 --> 00:15:02,144
I am Nelson Halliwell,
director of stage and screen.
181
00:15:06,490 --> 00:15:08,890
And it's a pleasure to meet you, sir.
182
00:15:08,959 --> 00:15:11,985
I'm Barry Blye.
I'm here to audition for Hamlet.
183
00:15:12,062 --> 00:15:15,930
And well, as you can see,
I'm highly, highly qualified for the part.
184
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:19,731
I have extensive qualifications,
I've done the part in several workshops...
185
00:15:19,803 --> 00:15:22,363
and I know the entire role by heart.
186
00:15:22,439 --> 00:15:23,667
Do you?
187
00:15:24,742 --> 00:15:27,074
And do you know that we are planning...
188
00:15:27,678 --> 00:15:30,875
the most stirring production
of Hamlet ever?
189
00:15:33,017 --> 00:15:35,417
I want to bring to the stage a Hamlet...
190
00:15:36,220 --> 00:15:41,157
that will look, and feel, and be so real...
191
00:15:41,859 --> 00:15:44,794
that the people will stumble
from their seats...
192
00:15:44,862 --> 00:15:48,821
tumble from the theater,
their minds reeling...
193
00:15:49,099 --> 00:15:52,591
and retch their guts upon the curb!
194
00:15:54,605 --> 00:15:55,833
Yuck.
195
00:15:56,173 --> 00:15:59,609
It's all yours, Barry. Break a leg.
Break both.
196
00:15:59,677 --> 00:16:01,269
-You!
-Yes?
197
00:16:01,912 --> 00:16:05,643
High cheekbones, fair skin,
slightly frosted hair.
198
00:16:05,716 --> 00:16:08,082
-You must be Danish.
-Actually, I'm Polish.
199
00:16:08,185 --> 00:16:10,949
Perfect, I knew it! The part is yours.
200
00:16:11,021 --> 00:16:12,352
-What?
-What?
201
00:16:12,623 --> 00:16:15,285
I said, young man, the part is yours!
202
00:16:15,359 --> 00:16:18,351
-I thought you were leaving.
-Not anymore. I'm Hamlet!
203
00:16:18,429 --> 00:16:22,024
But you didn't even read him.
You don't even know if he can read.
204
00:16:22,466 --> 00:16:24,127
Halliwell has chosen!
205
00:16:25,269 --> 00:16:28,466
Young man, there's a dressing room
for you down the hall.
206
00:16:28,539 --> 00:16:32,031
But this is Hamlet.
How can you cast this asshole?
207
00:16:33,310 --> 00:16:36,040
He has the look.
208
00:16:43,187 --> 00:16:45,155
What did I tell you, Barry?
209
00:16:45,222 --> 00:16:46,917
You don't know anything about this play.
210
00:16:46,990 --> 00:16:49,618
I know one thing, I've got the part.
211
00:16:51,795 --> 00:16:55,731
Son of a bitch!
212
00:16:56,366 --> 00:16:59,927
Everyone, center stage, everyone. Quickly.
213
00:17:00,170 --> 00:17:03,401
Gather around, gather together,
meet our new actor.
214
00:17:03,474 --> 00:17:06,602
Beaks, see that he's outfitted properly...
215
00:17:07,044 --> 00:17:11,003
shown his dressing room,
and welcomed to the group.
216
00:17:11,281 --> 00:17:14,182
Quickly, everyone! No time to waste.
217
00:17:16,086 --> 00:17:17,348
Only five minutes, everybody.
218
00:17:17,421 --> 00:17:21,790
That's it, leave. I must be alone now.
Quickly, out.
219
00:17:43,213 --> 00:17:47,274
""From this time forth,
My thoughts be bloody...
220
00:17:48,719 --> 00:17:50,687
""or be nothing worth! ""
221
00:18:17,414 --> 00:18:19,974
""Thus conscience does make
cowards of us all""
222
00:18:22,686 --> 00:18:24,779
Came to congratulate me, did you?
223
00:18:26,190 --> 00:18:29,023
Well, I hope you learned
something today, Barry.
224
00:18:30,627 --> 00:18:34,654
You're overdue, you know.
I mean, this isn't about art.
225
00:18:35,699 --> 00:18:39,760
It's about commerce. It's about
people standing in line and buying tickets.
226
00:18:40,137 --> 00:18:41,604
It's about product.
227
00:18:44,141 --> 00:18:47,542
If you invested half as much energy
into the business side of things...
228
00:18:47,611 --> 00:18:52,275
as you do in maintaining that stupid
struggling-artiste crap....
229
00:18:55,686 --> 00:18:57,119
What the hell?
230
00:19:00,390 --> 00:19:02,824
Are you out of your fucking mind?
231
00:19:02,993 --> 00:19:06,656
""How now! a rat? Dead, for a ducat! ""
232
00:19:07,231 --> 00:19:10,291
That's Hamlet. Act 3, Scene 4.
233
00:19:17,140 --> 00:19:20,473
Hamlet. I'm not Hamlet.
234
00:19:30,254 --> 00:19:32,017
You can say that again.
235
00:20:49,900 --> 00:20:52,528
That's how I'd like it done! Props.
236
00:20:52,903 --> 00:20:55,371
Where's the prop
for the gravedigger scene?
237
00:20:55,439 --> 00:20:58,772
I'm working on it.
They don't grow on trees.
238
00:21:00,844 --> 00:21:03,005
-Mr. Halliwell.
-Yes, what do you want?
239
00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:05,776
Don't you see
you're interrupting rehearsal?
240
00:21:05,949 --> 00:21:09,407
Where's your friend?
He should be on this stage this instant.
241
00:21:09,619 --> 00:21:11,746
I'm afraid he left, Mr. Halliwell.
242
00:21:11,955 --> 00:21:14,788
Left a Halliwell production?
243
00:21:15,192 --> 00:21:17,820
The worst case of stage fright
I've ever seen.
244
00:21:19,463 --> 00:21:21,090
He was totally blue.
245
00:21:23,100 --> 00:21:26,592
What are we going to do?
246
00:21:26,770 --> 00:21:30,206
Well, I'd like to suggest
myself for the part, sir.
247
00:21:30,974 --> 00:21:35,001
No, you're all wrong!
You don't have the look!
248
00:21:35,078 --> 00:21:37,740
I'm an actor, Mr. Halliwell.
I can give you what you want.
249
00:21:37,814 --> 00:21:40,647
No.
250
00:21:40,717 --> 00:21:44,050
Yes, if I change my interpretation slightly.
251
00:21:44,121 --> 00:21:47,750
Well, then, the part is yours. Beaks!
252
00:21:47,824 --> 00:21:49,621
You mean it? I'm cast?
253
00:21:49,693 --> 00:21:53,288
Yes. Show our new member
to his dressing room, Beaks.
254
00:21:53,497 --> 00:21:55,692
You won't regret it, Mr. Halliwell.
255
00:21:55,966 --> 00:21:57,331
We open.
256
00:21:58,168 --> 00:21:59,635
""Speak the speech, I pray you...
257
00:22:00,070 --> 00:22:01,230
""as I pronounced it to you...
258
00:22:01,638 --> 00:22:03,367
""trippingly on the tongue
259
00:22:05,008 --> 00:22:09,445
""but if you mouth it,
as many of your players are wont to...
260
00:22:09,513 --> 00:22:12,846
""l had as lief the towncrier
spoke my lines.""
261
00:22:17,421 --> 00:22:19,787
-Ready for the final run-through?
-What?
262
00:22:20,290 --> 00:22:22,690
Final run-through?
I haven't had a rehearsal yet.
263
00:22:23,827 --> 00:22:25,818
You won't need much rehearsing.
264
00:22:26,263 --> 00:22:29,994
Hamlet is a complicated role.
I can't do it without rehearsal.
265
00:22:30,634 --> 00:22:34,434
Who said you were playing Hamlet?
I'm playing Hamlet.
266
00:22:34,738 --> 00:22:37,901
Didn't you see me out there before,
holding up a plastic skull?
267
00:22:38,008 --> 00:22:40,909
""Alas! poor Yorick.
268
00:22:40,977 --> 00:22:42,968
""l knew him, Horatio.""
269
00:22:43,046 --> 00:22:45,742
Beaks, did you tag the costumes
as I instructed?
270
00:22:46,149 --> 00:22:48,481
Yes, your vastness.
271
00:22:48,652 --> 00:22:50,813
Wait. I spy....
272
00:22:52,489 --> 00:22:55,617
Well, if I'm not playing Hamlet,
what role am I playing?
273
00:23:02,699 --> 00:23:05,793
Yorick's been dead 23 years
before the play starts.
274
00:23:06,036 --> 00:23:08,561
We've had a hell of a time casting the part.
275
00:23:08,905 --> 00:23:11,533
Someone keeps stealing the skull.
276
00:23:15,078 --> 00:23:17,945
That's crazy. Beaks, help me.
277
00:23:18,548 --> 00:23:22,075
Certainly, sir. Just slip into this hood.
278
00:23:30,427 --> 00:23:31,826
You're all mad.
279
00:23:32,929 --> 00:23:34,123
Mad?
280
00:23:35,699 --> 00:23:37,462
You're fucking nuts.
281
00:23:44,808 --> 00:23:46,332
Come, come, Mr. Blye.
282
00:23:48,078 --> 00:23:49,511
Help!
283
00:23:53,383 --> 00:23:54,680
Shit.
284
00:24:08,031 --> 00:24:09,157
Help!
285
00:24:45,335 --> 00:24:47,530
Hello?
286
00:24:47,704 --> 00:24:50,468
Thank goodness.
We've been trying to call you for hours.
287
00:24:50,540 --> 00:24:53,304
Dr. Morrison, are you there? Hello?
288
00:24:53,376 --> 00:24:55,037
I know how you feel.
289
00:24:55,879 --> 00:24:57,938
I really wanted someone
with high cheekbones.
290
00:24:58,014 --> 00:25:01,177
What are those voices?
Dr. Morrison, are you all right?
291
00:25:01,251 --> 00:25:03,879
-Your friend looked much more the part.
-Hey, Dr. Morrison...
292
00:25:03,954 --> 00:25:05,080
what's going on?
293
00:25:05,155 --> 00:25:07,214
-But don't worry.
-What is going on over there?
294
00:25:07,290 --> 00:25:09,121
It's showtime!
295
00:25:12,829 --> 00:25:14,228
""Let me see.
296
00:25:15,498 --> 00:25:17,864
""Alas! poor Yorick.
297
00:25:19,536 --> 00:25:23,802
""l knew him, Horatio,
a friend of infinite jest...
298
00:25:24,107 --> 00:25:26,098
""of most excellent fancy:"
299
00:25:26,243 --> 00:25:28,734
I think I was wrong about the young man.
300
00:25:29,446 --> 00:25:31,641
He does have the look after all.
301
00:25:34,517 --> 00:25:36,314
""My gorge rises at it""
302
00:25:49,899 --> 00:25:52,993
Brady, this is Concord, what is your
status? I repeat, what is your status?
303
00:25:53,069 --> 00:25:55,902
We haven't heard any more screams, but
that doesn't mean there aren't hostages.
304
00:25:55,972 --> 00:25:57,701
I want you all to be
extremely careful in there.
305
00:25:57,774 --> 00:26:00,299
-We go in 30 seconds.
-All right.
306
00:26:01,077 --> 00:26:03,841
Give me the big bar. Big bar. Okay.
307
00:26:05,615 --> 00:26:07,014
One more!
308
00:26:07,951 --> 00:26:09,213
All right. Go!
309
00:26:09,486 --> 00:26:11,249
-Move!
-Go!
310
00:26:36,913 --> 00:26:39,780
Bravo. Encore.
311
00:26:40,850 --> 00:26:45,082
Well, Barry axed for the part and he got it.
312
00:26:45,555 --> 00:26:49,651
But typical Barry,
they still couldn't use his face.
313
00:26:50,327 --> 00:26:55,026
It's just as well.
The critics would have cut him to pieces.
314
00:26:57,801 --> 00:26:59,428
I'm calling my agent.
315
00:26:59,769 --> 00:27:02,636
I've waited all my death
to play the part of Yorick.
316
00:27:03,073 --> 00:27:05,769
So until next time, kiddies.
317
00:27:06,076 --> 00:27:09,477
Hello? I'd like to speak with my agent.
318
00:27:10,547 --> 00:27:13,015
What do you mean he's in a beating?
319
00:27:43,079 --> 00:27:44,068
English
24341
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