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1
00:04:12,426 --> 00:04:13,731
All right,
everybody out.
2
00:04:16,343 --> 00:04:17,387
Welcome to the neighborhood,
shamus.
3
00:04:19,346 --> 00:04:20,521
Move on, punk.
4
00:04:22,871 --> 00:04:23,828
All right,
get out!
5
00:04:28,746 --> 00:04:31,532
All right, take it easy!
What are you trying to do?
6
00:04:39,714 --> 00:04:40,584
Get out.
7
00:04:52,422 --> 00:04:54,250
All right, come on, get out.
Here we go.
8
00:04:56,687 --> 00:04:58,515
I was only emptying
the garbage.
9
00:04:58,559 --> 00:04:59,908
Go on, get inside. Move on, punk.
10
00:05:04,347 --> 00:05:05,696
What are you
trying to prove?
11
00:05:05,740 --> 00:05:07,524
You're a big man,
a tough guy, huh?
12
00:05:07,568 --> 00:05:08,612
Butt out, Damon!
13
00:05:13,835 --> 00:05:14,662
Come in.
14
00:05:20,058 --> 00:05:21,146
Oh, it's you.
Come in, sit down.
15
00:05:21,190 --> 00:05:22,365
Thank you, sir.
16
00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:27,239
I want to talk to you. Yes, sir.
17
00:05:27,283 --> 00:05:30,199
Well, I see
you've been initiated.
18
00:05:30,242 --> 00:05:32,767
Oh, yes, sir.
I'd like to put in
for the Purple Heart, sir.
19
00:05:32,810 --> 00:05:34,116
Some evening, huh?
20
00:05:34,159 --> 00:05:35,857
No, no, it wasn't
so bad, captain.
21
00:05:35,900 --> 00:05:37,380
I understand
it was quite a rumble.
22
00:05:37,424 --> 00:05:38,468
I've seen
a lot worse, sir.
23
00:05:38,512 --> 00:05:40,427
So I've noticed.
24
00:05:40,470 --> 00:05:42,994
Your record shows
you've spent
the past three years
25
00:05:43,038 --> 00:05:44,213
working in neighborhoods
like ours,
26
00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:46,346
so-called slum areas.
27
00:05:47,259 --> 00:05:48,435
That's right, sir.
28
00:05:48,478 --> 00:05:50,045
Your record also shows
29
00:05:50,088 --> 00:05:51,699
that you've had
your skull fractured,
30
00:05:51,742 --> 00:05:55,006
your arm broken twice,
lost three teeth
31
00:05:55,050 --> 00:05:57,095
and been stabbed
four different times.
32
00:05:57,139 --> 00:06:00,055
Well, no, sir. That-- All by young punk hoodlums
33
00:06:00,098 --> 00:06:03,101
who you've tried
unsuccessfully to reform.
Is that correct?
34
00:06:03,145 --> 00:06:04,233
Well, not exactly, sir.
You see--
35
00:06:04,276 --> 00:06:05,321
Damon, let's get
to the point.
36
00:06:08,193 --> 00:06:10,674
For three years,
you've worked
as sort of an emissary
37
00:06:10,718 --> 00:06:12,981
for a would-be group
of reformers
38
00:06:13,024 --> 00:06:15,592
who think that juvenile
delinquency can be curtailed
39
00:06:15,636 --> 00:06:17,420
if we treat these hoodlums
with kid gloves.
40
00:06:17,464 --> 00:06:18,726
Now, just a minute,
captain.
41
00:06:18,769 --> 00:06:20,858
You'll wait till
I'm through talking, Damon.
42
00:06:20,902 --> 00:06:22,556
If I wait until you're
finished talking, captain,
43
00:06:22,599 --> 00:06:23,644
I'll be up
for a pension!
44
00:06:27,952 --> 00:06:29,606
Well put, Mike.
Go ahead. Talk.
45
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:31,391
Thank you, sir.
46
00:06:33,523 --> 00:06:35,046
Oh, look, captain.
47
00:06:35,090 --> 00:06:36,787
I know you wanted me
in your precinct here
48
00:06:36,831 --> 00:06:37,788
about as much as
you like Dillinger.
49
00:06:39,442 --> 00:06:40,791
But you've gotta
give me a chance.
50
00:06:40,835 --> 00:06:42,445
Other captains have
given you opportunities,
51
00:06:42,489 --> 00:06:43,968
but your plan has failed.
52
00:06:44,012 --> 00:06:45,230
Only because it never had
a chance to grow.
53
00:06:47,450 --> 00:06:49,104
Somebody was always stepping
on my head, captain.
54
00:06:49,147 --> 00:06:50,018
And I don't mean
the delinquents either.
55
00:06:51,149 --> 00:06:52,760
You know what
the roadblock's been.
56
00:06:52,803 --> 00:06:54,022
It's been the brass upstairs,
the big boys.
57
00:06:55,371 --> 00:06:56,981
They think I'm a radical,
a little nuts.
58
00:06:57,025 --> 00:06:58,461
Well, aren't you?
59
00:06:58,505 --> 00:07:00,550
Why, because I think
that you can handle kids
60
00:07:00,594 --> 00:07:01,377
without belting
their brains out?
61
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:03,727
Am I nuts because
I think that
62
00:07:03,771 --> 00:07:05,337
in that bunch
of slobs out there,
63
00:07:05,381 --> 00:07:09,124
there might be just
one worth saving? Just one?
64
00:07:09,167 --> 00:07:11,953
Yeah, and while you're
trying to save that one,
65
00:07:11,996 --> 00:07:13,389
the 99 others are
blowing up city hall!
66
00:07:14,912 --> 00:07:16,740
Mike, your logic
is cockeyed.
67
00:07:16,784 --> 00:07:18,829
The main thing to worry about
is the majority!
68
00:07:18,873 --> 00:07:21,049
No, that's where
you're wrong, captain.
69
00:07:21,092 --> 00:07:23,486
The real bad ones are losers.
You can't change them anyway.
70
00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:25,096
But that one good one,
71
00:07:25,140 --> 00:07:27,098
if given a chance,
can breed, multiply.
72
00:07:28,839 --> 00:07:30,188
Now, if that happens,
every decent
community benefits.
73
00:07:31,755 --> 00:07:33,540
Damon, you are nuts.
74
00:07:35,498 --> 00:07:37,369
I think. Maybe so, captain...
75
00:07:39,763 --> 00:07:41,504
but it wasn't too long ago
I was on the short end
76
00:07:41,548 --> 00:07:42,418
of those 99-to-1 odds.
77
00:07:43,593 --> 00:07:44,725
It took a policeman
to help me,
78
00:07:46,335 --> 00:07:49,120
and I'd kind of like
to pay him back.
79
00:07:49,164 --> 00:07:51,296
Okay, Mike, it's your skull.
I'll stay out of your way.
80
00:07:53,081 --> 00:07:55,692
Thank you, sir! For 30 days, that is.
81
00:07:55,736 --> 00:07:56,824
Then if you don't come up
with something,
82
00:07:56,867 --> 00:07:59,783
namely a saved soul,
83
00:07:59,827 --> 00:08:00,915
you're liable to wind up
policing the library.
84
00:08:00,958 --> 00:08:02,307
Yes, sir.
85
00:08:02,351 --> 00:08:04,396
Yeah?
86
00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:05,223
MAN: Ready for
the show-up, captain.
87
00:08:05,528 --> 00:08:06,573
Right.
88
00:08:08,270 --> 00:08:11,447
Come on, Mike.
Your guinea pigs
are ready for exposure.
89
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:14,711
Let's see if you
and I can find the one
with the soulful eyes.
90
00:08:15,538 --> 00:08:18,541
Wise punks. Tough punks.
91
00:08:20,195 --> 00:08:21,631
You think you're getting away
with something.
92
00:08:23,328 --> 00:08:25,983
Well, I'm gonna give you
a big, fat message--
93
00:08:27,158 --> 00:08:30,161
You ain't getting away
with nothing.
94
00:08:30,205 --> 00:08:32,642
We're hip to all of you,
95
00:08:32,686 --> 00:08:34,514
and one of these days,
96
00:08:34,557 --> 00:08:38,039
it's gonna be the long,
slow ride
97
00:08:38,082 --> 00:08:39,910
up that dirty river.
98
00:08:40,476 --> 00:08:42,739
Sing Sing,
99
00:08:42,783 --> 00:08:46,177
where the nights are long,
cold and miserable,
100
00:08:46,917 --> 00:08:49,354
where the food is slop
101
00:08:49,398 --> 00:08:53,010
and every time you open
your filthy mouths,
102
00:08:53,054 --> 00:08:56,710
the guards are gonna bust
every bone in your stupid,
103
00:08:56,753 --> 00:08:59,103
crummy heads.
104
00:08:59,147 --> 00:09:02,193
Sing Sing, with its
solitary confinement
105
00:09:02,237 --> 00:09:04,152
and the
electric chair.
106
00:09:06,458 --> 00:09:07,416
Wait a second.
107
00:09:09,157 --> 00:09:09,984
I didn't do nothing.
108
00:09:11,507 --> 00:09:13,509
I was just taking out
the garbage can.
109
00:09:16,381 --> 00:09:18,296
I don't wanna go to the...
Please don't make me go...
110
00:09:21,169 --> 00:09:24,172
I was just taking out
the garbage can.
111
00:09:24,215 --> 00:09:25,652
I don't wanna go
to the electric chair,
with the thing...
112
00:09:27,523 --> 00:09:30,004
Oh, that's terrible.
113
00:09:30,047 --> 00:09:33,224
Let me out, let me out.
I ain't gonna eat this slop.
114
00:09:33,268 --> 00:09:35,009
I don't wanna go to jail.
115
00:09:35,052 --> 00:09:36,793
What, for emptying
a garbage pail?
116
00:09:37,881 --> 00:09:40,231
Please!
I'm too tall to die.
117
00:09:42,712 --> 00:09:44,366
Help me out, Monk,
do something.
118
00:09:45,193 --> 00:09:46,934
Shut up.
119
00:09:46,977 --> 00:09:49,545
Okay, I won't say nothing.
120
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:51,373
Whatever you say, sarge,
I won't say a word.
121
00:09:51,416 --> 00:09:54,289
Shut up! I didn't even say a word.
122
00:09:54,332 --> 00:09:56,944
Boy, if you ever tell me
to shut up, I keep
my mouth shut.
123
00:09:56,987 --> 00:09:59,120
What, am I gonna get
myself in trouble? Naa!
124
00:10:01,688 --> 00:10:02,950
Tonight
you get a break.
125
00:10:04,429 --> 00:10:07,432
It just happen this is
"be kind to rats" week.
126
00:10:08,390 --> 00:10:09,739
We got orders to let you go.
127
00:10:10,653 --> 00:10:12,655
But the next time,
128
00:10:12,699 --> 00:10:16,006
it's gonna be that long,
slow ride.
129
00:10:16,050 --> 00:10:18,008
Now, go on, get out of here,
all of you.
130
00:10:18,052 --> 00:10:20,097
Crawl back in your holes.
131
00:10:20,141 --> 00:10:23,579
Thanks a lot, sergeant.
Boy, I appreciate it,
sergeant.
132
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:25,102
It's all right... Thank you very much
133
00:10:25,146 --> 00:10:26,451
for letting me go.
134
00:10:26,495 --> 00:10:27,801
It's all right...
135
00:10:27,844 --> 00:10:30,325
I didn't wanna go
to jail, sergeant.
136
00:10:30,368 --> 00:10:32,588
Get him out of here! You're a terrific cop.
137
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,982
Get him out! Thank you very much,
sergeant.
138
00:10:35,025 --> 00:10:37,071
He's a wonderful sergeant,
this sergeant.
139
00:10:37,114 --> 00:10:38,420
He's not gonna put me
in jail.
140
00:10:38,463 --> 00:10:39,639
I was--
I'm not gonna--
141
00:10:39,682 --> 00:10:41,031
I didn't wanna hang...
142
00:10:46,733 --> 00:10:48,648
Well, did you find
your pigeon?
143
00:10:48,691 --> 00:10:50,127
Well, I think
it's pretty obvious,
isn't it, captain?
144
00:10:50,171 --> 00:10:51,955
Him?! Yeah, the grateful one.
145
00:10:51,999 --> 00:10:53,130
What's his name? Sidney.
146
00:10:53,174 --> 00:10:55,089
Sidney what?
147
00:10:55,132 --> 00:10:57,352
Pythias. He works as
an apprentice janitor
148
00:10:57,395 --> 00:10:58,788
down the street.
149
00:10:58,832 --> 00:10:59,702
Sidney Pythias?
150
00:11:02,139 --> 00:11:03,532
Well, what's
the matter?
151
00:11:03,575 --> 00:11:04,751
Well, what do you know
about that.
152
00:11:06,187 --> 00:11:08,058
Mike Damon.
153
00:11:08,102 --> 00:11:10,539
Sidney Pythias.
Damon and Pythias.
154
00:11:10,582 --> 00:11:12,497
You remember your Greek
mythology, captain.
155
00:11:12,541 --> 00:11:15,283
Look, I never
even passed algebra,
156
00:11:15,326 --> 00:11:17,589
and I ain't interested
in mythology.
157
00:11:17,633 --> 00:11:18,852
All I wanna know is
if you're really gonna
158
00:11:18,895 --> 00:11:20,418
go to work
on that character.
159
00:11:20,462 --> 00:11:22,072
Yes, sir, captain. Yes, sir,
I am, sir. Yes, sir.
160
00:11:22,116 --> 00:11:24,118
Okay, Damon. Good luck. Thank you, sir.
161
00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:26,468
You'll need it!
162
00:11:28,078 --> 00:11:29,079
Yes, sir.
163
00:11:32,169 --> 00:11:33,867
Hey, Monk! Hey, fellas,
wait a second.
164
00:11:33,910 --> 00:11:35,303
Let me explain, will you?
165
00:11:35,346 --> 00:11:37,087
Sidney, why don't
you go away.
166
00:11:37,131 --> 00:11:38,828
I just wanna explain.
You see, how it happened,
167
00:11:38,872 --> 00:11:40,221
I was taking out
the garbage cans
168
00:11:40,264 --> 00:11:41,831
and you gotta do that
because it brings ants.
169
00:11:41,875 --> 00:11:43,050
Hey, Sidney? Yeah?
170
00:11:43,093 --> 00:11:44,704
Look. Ooh!
171
00:11:44,747 --> 00:11:46,183
Listen, you
unhinged dimbo,
172
00:11:46,227 --> 00:11:47,576
why don't you stick
with your garbage
173
00:11:47,619 --> 00:11:48,969
and mops and stay
away from me.
174
00:11:49,012 --> 00:11:50,666
You're a
professional jinx.
175
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,799
Now, go home
and scare your
tenants, huh?
176
00:12:08,336 --> 00:12:10,338
Oh, hi, Mr. Kellin.
Could I help you?
177
00:12:10,381 --> 00:12:13,167
Oh, no.
Never mind, Sidney.
178
00:12:13,210 --> 00:12:14,995
Thank you very much.
Never mind.
179
00:12:16,039 --> 00:12:16,997
Yeah, but I just thought...
180
00:12:28,008 --> 00:12:30,358
Hi, Mr. Fox. Could I
give you a hand, sir?
181
00:12:30,401 --> 00:12:33,753
Oh, no, thanks, Sidney.
Thank you just the same.
182
00:12:33,796 --> 00:12:35,363
Some other time, maybe.
183
00:12:45,634 --> 00:12:47,375
Hiya, Sidney.
184
00:12:47,418 --> 00:12:48,985
Hey, you got a minute?
I'd like to talk to you.
185
00:13:15,446 --> 00:13:16,665
Well, am I in trouble.
186
00:13:46,913 --> 00:13:48,044
Waa!
187
00:14:29,999 --> 00:14:31,000
What's going on here?
188
00:14:31,044 --> 00:14:32,262
Oh...
189
00:14:38,921 --> 00:14:39,922
Uh...
190
00:14:41,445 --> 00:14:43,273
Sidney! Yeah. Oh! Oooh...
191
00:14:47,712 --> 00:14:50,367
What's going on up there? Oh, nothing.
192
00:14:50,411 --> 00:14:53,414
I was...
Hello, Mr. Herman.
193
00:14:53,457 --> 00:14:55,285
What's going on up there? I think it's an air raid.
194
00:14:55,329 --> 00:14:56,808
Come here, Sidney. Yes, sir.
195
00:14:56,852 --> 00:14:58,549
What kind of a janitor
are you anyway?
196
00:14:58,593 --> 00:14:59,899
Well, I'm not too sure-- There ain't no hot water.
197
00:14:59,942 --> 00:15:00,987
No. There ain't no cold water!
198
00:15:01,030 --> 00:15:02,336
Well, I'm trying my best--
199
00:15:02,379 --> 00:15:04,381
Six rooms, three baths,
$30 a month I pay,
200
00:15:04,425 --> 00:15:05,992
and I can't get
no service!
201
00:15:06,035 --> 00:15:07,689
Well, I'm awful sorry,
Mr. Herman...
202
00:15:07,732 --> 00:15:09,343
What about the dumbwaiter? Oh, what?
203
00:15:09,386 --> 00:15:11,258
The dumbwaiter.
It don't work.
204
00:15:11,301 --> 00:15:13,129
Well, I don't understand.
I fixed the dumbwaiter--
205
00:15:13,173 --> 00:15:15,001
It don't work.
Get it fixed, you hear?
206
00:15:15,044 --> 00:15:16,002
Yes, sir. And fix the plumbing
and fix the heater!
207
00:15:16,045 --> 00:15:17,264
No, sir.
208
00:15:17,307 --> 00:15:18,526
What?!How, sir?
209
00:15:18,569 --> 00:15:20,049
Sidney! I mean, yes, sir.
210
00:15:20,093 --> 00:15:21,572
Sidney! Yes, Herman Mister.
Sister Merman...
211
00:15:22,530 --> 00:15:23,966
You making fun of me?
212
00:15:24,010 --> 00:15:25,359
No, I'm not, Mr. Herman.
It's just that I'm all...
213
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:28,275
A guy ain't
got enough trouble,
214
00:15:28,318 --> 00:15:29,537
a nothing like you
has to come along
215
00:15:29,580 --> 00:15:31,104
and tell me what to do!
216
00:15:31,147 --> 00:15:32,975
Now, wait a minute,
Mr. Herman.
217
00:15:33,019 --> 00:15:34,368
Don't call me a nothing.
I don't like that.
218
00:15:34,411 --> 00:15:36,326
Huh?
219
00:15:36,370 --> 00:15:38,328
Well, I don't like that.Oh.
220
00:15:39,286 --> 00:15:40,461
I beg your pardon.
221
00:15:41,244 --> 00:15:43,159
I'm sorry.
222
00:15:43,203 --> 00:15:45,553
From now on, it'll be
Mr. Nothing!
223
00:15:45,596 --> 00:15:47,642
I didn't mean
to make you sore,
Mr. Herman, but--
224
00:15:47,685 --> 00:15:50,471
Go on, get out of here!
Do something! Fix something!
225
00:15:50,819 --> 00:15:52,081
Shoo!
226
00:15:57,521 --> 00:16:01,308
"Go on, get out of here!
Fix something! Do something!
227
00:16:01,351 --> 00:16:03,397
"Do something! Shoo!"
Hoo!
228
00:16:14,451 --> 00:16:15,931
Hello, Sidney.
229
00:16:18,890 --> 00:16:19,935
Hello.
230
00:16:21,197 --> 00:16:22,068
How've you been?
231
00:16:23,417 --> 00:16:24,853
Fine.
232
00:16:27,508 --> 00:16:28,857
Will you empty this
for me?
233
00:16:30,424 --> 00:16:31,555
Sure.
234
00:16:33,209 --> 00:16:35,603
Thank you, Sidney.
Sure.
235
00:17:44,367 --> 00:17:45,716
Mr. Crow?
236
00:17:48,502 --> 00:17:49,503
Oo-hoo?
237
00:17:53,333 --> 00:17:54,421
Mr. Crow?
238
00:18:51,826 --> 00:18:54,742
And when you rock 'n' roll
and do that thing
239
00:18:54,785 --> 00:18:57,223
Brown dog, brown dog,
rock 'n' roll
240
00:18:57,266 --> 00:18:59,790
You're gonna
brown dog rock it,
your brown dog's rolling
241
00:18:59,834 --> 00:19:01,836
You roll and you rock
and the brown dog too--
242
00:19:02,532 --> 00:19:03,794
Hello, Mr. Crow.
243
00:19:04,839 --> 00:19:06,623
I hope you'll excuse me, sir,
244
00:19:06,667 --> 00:19:07,842
but I was just playing
your broom.
245
00:19:07,885 --> 00:19:09,583
That's my theremin!
246
00:19:09,626 --> 00:19:11,541
Oh, well, I...
Your what?
247
00:19:11,585 --> 00:19:13,804
Well, I suppose you came
in here to see it.
248
00:19:13,848 --> 00:19:15,110
Oh, yes, that's
a very nice theremin.
249
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:16,546
Not that.
250
00:19:16,590 --> 00:19:19,114
You know what I mean. Huh?
251
00:19:20,550 --> 00:19:23,640
Oh, you mean X-93? Right! It's finished.
252
00:19:23,684 --> 00:19:24,598
Where is it?
253
00:19:26,861 --> 00:19:28,428
I'm so excited,
I can't wait to see it.
254
00:19:30,430 --> 00:19:31,474
Oh!
255
00:19:32,954 --> 00:19:34,956
Gee whiz, Mr. Crow,
256
00:19:34,999 --> 00:19:36,305
I thought the X-93
was your new invention
257
00:19:36,349 --> 00:19:37,611
to cure the common cold.
258
00:19:37,654 --> 00:19:39,090
It came out
a little different.
259
00:19:39,134 --> 00:19:40,396
What did it come out
a little different as?
260
00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:42,268
What does it look like?
261
00:19:42,311 --> 00:19:44,052
A spaceship? Right! For frogs.
262
00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:48,230
For frogs? Did you ever stop to realize,
263
00:19:48,274 --> 00:19:49,927
when the Earth
is destroyed,
264
00:19:49,971 --> 00:19:51,799
all the people
will escape to the moon
265
00:19:51,842 --> 00:19:53,496
in rocket ships?
266
00:19:53,540 --> 00:19:55,281
What about
the poor little frogs?
267
00:19:55,324 --> 00:19:56,325
How are they going
to get away?
268
00:19:57,413 --> 00:19:59,328
Well, they-- I'll tell you how.
269
00:19:59,372 --> 00:20:01,635
In my frog ship.
270
00:20:01,678 --> 00:20:03,506
And the remarkable thing
about this is,
271
00:20:03,550 --> 00:20:05,595
it holds 1 million frogs.
272
00:20:05,639 --> 00:20:08,381
Did you hear what I said?
One million frogs!
273
00:20:08,424 --> 00:20:10,165
Oh, that's terrific.
274
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:12,733
Even if I only charge them
$3 apiece, I'll be rich!
275
00:20:14,387 --> 00:20:16,389
Well, that's
really wonderful.
276
00:20:16,432 --> 00:20:18,173
Did you hear the phone? Rich!
277
00:20:20,131 --> 00:20:23,178
If only I didn't have
to pay the withholding.
278
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:25,572
Oh, that is a shame.I want you to take this
279
00:20:26,616 --> 00:20:28,052
and study it closely.
280
00:20:29,489 --> 00:20:31,621
And when we start to build
the working model,
281
00:20:31,665 --> 00:20:34,102
we'll work hand in hand.
282
00:20:34,145 --> 00:20:36,670
Oh, well, I really--Don't worry,
I have another one.
283
00:20:36,713 --> 00:20:40,326
Oh, well, I was-- Good luck, son!
284
00:20:40,369 --> 00:20:43,459
Thank you very much, Mr. Crow,
and I'll take very good care
285
00:20:43,503 --> 00:20:44,591
of this so that
the...
286
00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:50,031
And I'll guard this,
and I can...
287
00:20:50,074 --> 00:20:52,076
To the--
And all those frogs.
288
00:20:52,120 --> 00:20:53,774
That's the best thing
you can make--
289
00:20:53,817 --> 00:20:55,906
A whole lot
with...
290
00:20:55,950 --> 00:20:58,387
With the little frogs,
Mr. Crow.
291
00:20:58,431 --> 00:21:00,389
Rich! Do you hear? Rich!
292
00:21:11,095 --> 00:21:13,489
Hiya, Sidney.
293
00:21:13,533 --> 00:21:14,360
What do you got there,
a model airplane?
294
00:21:15,709 --> 00:21:18,407
No, not exactly. Can I look at it?
295
00:21:18,451 --> 00:21:19,278
Sure. Attaboy.
296
00:21:21,541 --> 00:21:24,718
Well, it's, uh...
It's kind of bulky,
isn't it?
297
00:21:24,761 --> 00:21:26,197
Well, it should be.
It's got
a million frogs in it.
298
00:21:26,241 --> 00:21:28,983
Oh, well, that--
I beg your pardon?
299
00:21:29,026 --> 00:21:30,767
Well, what I mean is,
it's not
an ordinary spaceship.
300
00:21:30,811 --> 00:21:31,725
It's for frogs.
301
00:21:33,683 --> 00:21:35,729
Sure, Sidney, sure.
302
00:21:35,772 --> 00:21:37,600
Well, no, let me explain.
See, when the world
comes to an end,
303
00:21:37,644 --> 00:21:39,559
how are the frogs gonna get
to the moon? In this.
304
00:21:40,211 --> 00:21:41,822
That makes sense.
305
00:21:41,865 --> 00:21:43,693
Yeah, and furthermore,
you can get these
306
00:21:43,737 --> 00:21:44,955
in all the stores
all over the world.
307
00:21:44,999 --> 00:21:46,740
Garages, butcher shops.
308
00:21:46,783 --> 00:21:47,784
They'll make millions
of these things and...
309
00:21:48,698 --> 00:21:49,612
Are you puzzled?
310
00:21:50,483 --> 00:21:51,919
No, no. Mm.
311
00:21:53,007 --> 00:21:53,747
Hey, Sidney, wait a minute.
312
00:21:54,878 --> 00:21:55,662
Can I talk to you a second?
313
00:21:58,360 --> 00:21:59,927
Why? What do you wanna
talk to me about?
314
00:21:59,970 --> 00:22:02,799
Well, uh... Look,
it's kind of personal.
315
00:22:02,843 --> 00:22:04,671
Could we go
someplace private?
316
00:22:04,714 --> 00:22:06,977
Why? I didn't do nothing. Well, nobody said you did.
317
00:22:07,021 --> 00:22:08,327
Come on, you got someplace
we can talk private-like?
318
00:22:10,154 --> 00:22:12,200
Well, I got
a lot of work to do. Come on, Sidney.
319
00:22:12,243 --> 00:22:13,201
It'll only take
a second, huh?
320
00:22:14,550 --> 00:22:15,682
Huh?
321
00:22:16,335 --> 00:22:17,901
Okay, come on.
322
00:22:35,832 --> 00:22:36,964
Thank you.
323
00:22:40,402 --> 00:22:41,272
Hey, this is very nice.
324
00:22:42,839 --> 00:22:44,493
It is? Yeah, yeah, your place,
325
00:22:44,537 --> 00:22:45,320
you've got it
fixed up real nice.
326
00:22:46,452 --> 00:22:48,541
You really like it? Yeah, I sure do.
327
00:22:48,584 --> 00:22:50,194
It's a little crowded,
but then...
328
00:22:50,238 --> 00:22:51,631
Well, after all,
you are alone.
329
00:22:53,372 --> 00:22:54,808
You ain't kidding.
330
00:23:06,776 --> 00:23:07,821
Uh...
331
00:23:08,996 --> 00:23:10,954
Pull up a chair,
kid, sit down.
332
00:23:13,522 --> 00:23:14,480
Come on, pull up a chair.
333
00:23:16,743 --> 00:23:18,048
Well, what do you--? Come on.
334
00:23:27,493 --> 00:23:28,711
Smoke? No, I never do.
335
00:23:29,451 --> 00:23:30,757
Well, that's good.
336
00:23:33,499 --> 00:23:34,543
Sidney, my name
is Mike Damon.
337
00:23:35,936 --> 00:23:37,416
How do you do,
Officer Damon?
338
00:23:37,459 --> 00:23:38,417
No, no. Mike.
339
00:23:39,548 --> 00:23:41,245
Hello, Officer Mike.
340
00:23:42,595 --> 00:23:43,857
Sidney...
341
00:23:46,599 --> 00:23:47,991
I, uh...
342
00:23:50,603 --> 00:23:53,040
I wanna help you. Oh?
343
00:23:54,084 --> 00:23:55,825
Can you fix a dumbwaiter?
344
00:23:55,869 --> 00:23:58,524
Mm. No, that isn't
what I had in mind.
345
00:23:58,567 --> 00:23:59,960
Oh, what
about plumbing?
346
00:24:00,003 --> 00:24:01,875
Because I have a stove that-- No, Sidney.
347
00:24:01,918 --> 00:24:03,006
I'm not here to work
on the fixtures.
348
00:24:03,050 --> 00:24:03,877
I'm here to work on you.
349
00:24:04,921 --> 00:24:05,879
Work on me?
350
00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:07,881
Why? I'm not out of order.
351
00:24:09,317 --> 00:24:11,798
Say, what do you
really want anyhow?
352
00:24:11,841 --> 00:24:14,061
No, don't even answer that.
I'm not interested.
353
00:24:14,104 --> 00:24:15,758
Why don't you just
get out of here.
354
00:24:15,802 --> 00:24:16,629
Sit down,
will you, kid?
355
00:24:17,630 --> 00:24:18,805
Please?
356
00:24:24,114 --> 00:24:26,029
I don't want anything, Sidney.
I just want to help you.
357
00:24:27,770 --> 00:24:29,380
I don't need any help.
I'm doing fine.
358
00:24:30,033 --> 00:24:30,904
Oh, you are, huh?
359
00:24:32,383 --> 00:24:34,603
Well, I got a nice
place to live in.
360
00:24:34,647 --> 00:24:35,430
You said yourself
it's pretty nice.
361
00:24:36,779 --> 00:24:38,477
And I got lots
of friends.
362
00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:40,348
Oh? Name two. What?
363
00:24:40,391 --> 00:24:41,262
Name two friends.
364
00:24:43,046 --> 00:24:44,918
Well, there's um...
365
00:24:46,354 --> 00:24:48,095
And another guy...
366
00:24:50,227 --> 00:24:52,142
What's the difference?
I got lots of friends.
367
00:24:52,186 --> 00:24:54,841
You mean, like Monk and Artie
and all those other creeps?
368
00:24:54,884 --> 00:24:56,364
They're good guys. They stink!
369
00:24:56,407 --> 00:24:57,408
I hate them.
370
00:24:58,497 --> 00:24:59,280
But you,
you're a good kid.
371
00:25:00,542 --> 00:25:03,545
You're a nice kid. Well, how do you know?
372
00:25:03,589 --> 00:25:05,721
Well, I've been doing
a little checking on you.
373
00:25:05,765 --> 00:25:07,941
I discovered you graduated
from high school.
374
00:25:07,984 --> 00:25:09,812
I did? I mean,
yeah, I did.
375
00:25:11,031 --> 00:25:12,946
And you also got
pretty good marks too.
376
00:25:14,643 --> 00:25:16,906
Yeah, as a matter
of fact, I did.
377
00:25:16,950 --> 00:25:19,039
And you know what,
especially in manual training.
378
00:25:19,082 --> 00:25:20,214
I was very good
in that.
379
00:25:20,257 --> 00:25:21,955
Wood. You can ask
me any question
380
00:25:21,998 --> 00:25:23,173
in the world about wood.
381
00:25:23,217 --> 00:25:24,914
I know about wood.
Wood, I know about.
382
00:25:24,958 --> 00:25:26,437
Would you like
to see something
383
00:25:26,481 --> 00:25:27,700
I made in wood?
It's a backscratcher.
384
00:25:27,743 --> 00:25:29,440
It's very good.
Made in wood.
385
00:25:33,096 --> 00:25:35,229
It's the wrong side.
386
00:25:36,622 --> 00:25:37,666
This side.
387
00:25:58,513 --> 00:25:59,819
It's wood.
388
00:26:03,910 --> 00:26:05,738
How do you make it...?
389
00:26:05,781 --> 00:26:07,348
Oh. Oh, this?
It's very simple. Watch.
390
00:26:13,180 --> 00:26:14,268
I made it up myself.
391
00:26:15,835 --> 00:26:17,184
That's very good.Thank you.
392
00:26:18,141 --> 00:26:19,839
Yeah. Uh...
393
00:26:20,666 --> 00:26:22,276
Now, where were we?
394
00:26:22,319 --> 00:26:23,799
Oh, we were talking
about my backscratcher.
395
00:26:24,931 --> 00:26:25,888
No, no, we were
talking about you.
396
00:26:28,064 --> 00:26:31,459
I also discovered
that you tried
to enlist in the Army, right?
397
00:26:31,502 --> 00:26:33,766
Oh, yeah. And the Navy
and the Coast Guard
and the Marines,
398
00:26:33,809 --> 00:26:35,289
but they all
turned me down.
399
00:26:35,332 --> 00:26:36,943
Why? What happened?
400
00:26:36,986 --> 00:26:38,248
Well, they thought
I was a little nutty.
401
00:26:38,292 --> 00:26:40,120
Something about
my temperament.
402
00:26:40,163 --> 00:26:42,601
Psychologically unfit, huh?No, my lungs were fine.
403
00:26:42,644 --> 00:26:43,384
They just thought
I was a little nutty.
404
00:26:44,341 --> 00:26:46,213
But I don't really care,
405
00:26:46,256 --> 00:26:48,519
because I couldn't have been
what I wanted to be anyhow.
406
00:26:48,563 --> 00:26:49,477
What did you wanna be?
407
00:26:50,260 --> 00:26:52,828
Oh, a lot of things.
408
00:26:52,872 --> 00:26:55,222
For example? I'm thirsty.
409
00:26:55,265 --> 00:26:56,745
You would like some seltzer?Seltzer?
410
00:26:56,789 --> 00:26:58,051
Yeah.
411
00:26:58,094 --> 00:26:58,791
That's the phone.
Excuse me.
412
00:27:01,010 --> 00:27:02,533
Hello? MAN: Is Zelda there?
413
00:27:03,970 --> 00:27:06,407
No. No, she is not.
414
00:27:06,450 --> 00:27:08,365
Look, pal,
don't give me that.
415
00:27:08,409 --> 00:27:11,325
I know she's there,
and I wanna talk to her!
416
00:27:11,368 --> 00:27:13,849
Look, mister,
please excuse me
for being unkind,
417
00:27:13,893 --> 00:27:15,242
but I told you three
or four times already,
418
00:27:15,285 --> 00:27:17,026
there is no Zelda here.
419
00:27:17,070 --> 00:27:19,681
Not now, ever or at no time.
There's no Zelda, all right?
420
00:27:19,725 --> 00:27:21,030
Now, will you please
put her on?
421
00:27:21,074 --> 00:27:22,989
Not here, ever...
That...
422
00:27:25,948 --> 00:27:28,255
Guy keeps calling up
and asking for Zelda, Zelda...
423
00:27:28,298 --> 00:27:29,952
There's never been
a Zelda here.
I don't know no Zelda
424
00:27:29,996 --> 00:27:31,606
except a parakeet,
I know Zelda, but not this...
425
00:27:33,347 --> 00:27:35,871
Now, where were we? That's a good question.
426
00:27:35,915 --> 00:27:37,046
I was gonna get
you some seltzer.
427
00:27:37,090 --> 00:27:38,178
No, that's all right.
428
00:27:48,057 --> 00:27:49,798
Excuse me. Oh, nice kitty.
429
00:27:49,842 --> 00:27:51,278
Oowee.
430
00:27:58,198 --> 00:27:59,025
Why are you staring?
431
00:28:01,027 --> 00:28:03,638
Oh, the bottle opener.
I forgot it.
432
00:28:03,682 --> 00:28:05,205
Never mind, Sidney.
433
00:28:05,248 --> 00:28:07,250
Well, it'll only
take a second. No.
434
00:28:07,294 --> 00:28:09,035
You don't want the seltzer? No.
435
00:28:09,078 --> 00:28:10,427
Well, let me explain.
436
00:28:10,471 --> 00:28:11,907
It'll take a second
and I'll get the opener...
437
00:28:11,951 --> 00:28:14,344
No, kid,
I'm getting airsick.
438
00:28:14,388 --> 00:28:15,650
Yeah, but look,
if you want the seltzer...
439
00:28:15,694 --> 00:28:17,043
No!
440
00:28:17,086 --> 00:28:17,870
Well, you wanted-- No, thanks!
441
00:28:19,219 --> 00:28:21,395
Well, I won't coax you.
Whatever you say.
442
00:28:21,438 --> 00:28:22,135
Now, look, kid...
443
00:28:23,963 --> 00:28:25,747
Oh, that's my phone.
Excuse me.
444
00:28:27,967 --> 00:28:30,012
MAN:
Don't start that again!
445
00:28:30,056 --> 00:28:33,102
Listen to me, will you?
I wanna talk to Zelda!
446
00:28:33,146 --> 00:28:35,017
Will you listen to me,
please, sir?
447
00:28:35,061 --> 00:28:36,453
You call up here
and you keep
asking for Zelda.
448
00:28:36,497 --> 00:28:38,194
Well, there is no Zelda!
449
00:28:38,238 --> 00:28:40,414
And it just so happens that
the parakeet is a girl.
450
00:28:40,457 --> 00:28:42,111
The girl is a bird,
and Zelda's-- I--
451
00:28:42,155 --> 00:28:43,634
There's no Zelda,
because if it was a bird,
452
00:28:43,678 --> 00:28:45,593
you couldn't get it.
A parrot...
453
00:28:45,636 --> 00:28:47,290
Look, pal-- There's no one here
at that name.
454
00:28:47,334 --> 00:28:49,336
Zelda...Put her on!
455
00:28:49,379 --> 00:28:51,947
I keep telling you that
there is no one
here that name.
456
00:28:51,991 --> 00:28:53,296
And you call,
and it's a wrong number!
457
00:28:53,340 --> 00:28:54,515
That's all.
You got a wrong number.
458
00:29:01,043 --> 00:29:02,523
Look, kid, come here.
Come here!
459
00:29:05,047 --> 00:29:06,353
Look, I wanna see
you tonight.
460
00:29:06,396 --> 00:29:08,050
What, am I under arrest? No, no!
461
00:29:08,094 --> 00:29:08,921
What, are you gonna
lock me up?
462
00:29:08,964 --> 00:29:10,052
No, of course not.
463
00:29:10,096 --> 00:29:10,966
Well, you're holding...
464
00:29:12,576 --> 00:29:14,535
I'm sorry.
465
00:29:14,578 --> 00:29:16,493
No, I thought maybe we could
have dinner together
466
00:29:16,537 --> 00:29:18,017
over at my place.
467
00:29:18,060 --> 00:29:19,801
I cook a great steak.
468
00:29:21,368 --> 00:29:23,109
I thought we could
sit around,
469
00:29:23,152 --> 00:29:24,850
play a little gin, maybe watch
some TV or something.
470
00:29:24,893 --> 00:29:25,720
Get to know
each other.
471
00:29:27,722 --> 00:29:29,071
Well, what do you say?
472
00:29:32,858 --> 00:29:37,210
Well, I don't understand,
you know? I mean, why me?
473
00:29:38,777 --> 00:29:40,909
You know,
I don't understand.
474
00:29:40,953 --> 00:29:42,911
What did you pick on me
to buddy up with for,
you know?
475
00:29:44,783 --> 00:29:46,567
Well, to be perfectly honest
with you, kid,
476
00:29:46,610 --> 00:29:47,655
I'm kind of new
in the neighborhood here
477
00:29:47,698 --> 00:29:49,439
and I don't
have many friends.
478
00:29:49,483 --> 00:29:50,658
I thought I could break
the ice with you.
479
00:29:50,701 --> 00:29:51,615
Oh.
480
00:29:54,401 --> 00:29:55,402
Well, um...
481
00:29:57,491 --> 00:29:58,927
Thanks for the invitation,
482
00:29:58,971 --> 00:30:00,799
but, uh, I got
a date tonight, see.
483
00:30:02,888 --> 00:30:03,889
Yeah.
484
00:30:04,977 --> 00:30:06,413
Sure. I should
have known better.
485
00:30:06,456 --> 00:30:08,371
I should have known
that a guy like you'd be
486
00:30:08,415 --> 00:30:11,157
all booked up ahead of time,
social-wise.
487
00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:12,767
Well, yeah, you know,
like I said before,
488
00:30:13,986 --> 00:30:15,901
I got a lot of friends,
and I'm...
489
00:30:15,944 --> 00:30:17,380
I'm very busy, you know.
490
00:30:17,424 --> 00:30:18,860
Yeah. Well,
maybe next time, huh?
491
00:30:19,730 --> 00:30:20,906
Yeah.
492
00:30:24,083 --> 00:30:25,519
Thanks a lot, kid. Okay.
493
00:30:27,913 --> 00:30:29,044
Say, um...Yeah?
494
00:30:29,566 --> 00:30:30,567
Excuse me...
495
00:30:32,439 --> 00:30:35,050
Do you really have a TV? 21-inch screen.
496
00:30:36,312 --> 00:30:37,313
There's great fights
on tonight.
497
00:30:39,446 --> 00:30:41,274
Well, I'll try
and break my date.
498
00:30:42,536 --> 00:30:43,624
Oh, that'd be great
if you could, kid.
499
00:30:45,017 --> 00:30:47,193
Yeah, but I'm not making
any promises.
500
00:30:47,236 --> 00:30:48,063
You know, I don't like
to break engagements.
501
00:30:50,022 --> 00:30:52,459
Yeah, well, if you can. If I can.
502
00:30:53,808 --> 00:30:54,722
I live at
the Halifax Apartments.
503
00:30:54,765 --> 00:30:55,679
See you around 7?
504
00:30:56,898 --> 00:30:59,727
If I can. Yeah, if you can.
505
00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:05,211
How do you
like your steaks?
506
00:31:06,560 --> 00:31:08,301
Rare, when I get one.
507
00:31:21,270 --> 00:31:22,706
Hello.
508
00:31:22,750 --> 00:31:24,056
MAN: I'm not gonna
tell you again.
509
00:31:24,099 --> 00:31:25,753
I know she's there.
And when I come over,
510
00:31:25,796 --> 00:31:27,929
I'm gonna give you
such a shot.
511
00:31:27,973 --> 00:31:30,540
I know the girl's there.
I happen to be engaged to her.
512
00:31:30,584 --> 00:31:31,672
Now, see, the...
513
00:31:35,719 --> 00:31:36,807
Oof!
514
00:31:39,375 --> 00:31:41,334
And once I find out
you've been bothering her,
515
00:31:41,377 --> 00:31:43,379
believe me, I'm not gonna
fool around, buddy.
516
00:31:43,423 --> 00:31:45,468
I know the address.
I'm coming over and--
517
00:31:51,648 --> 00:31:53,302
Ask her to call Freddie...
518
00:31:57,872 --> 00:31:59,569
Officer Damon's late.
519
00:31:59,613 --> 00:32:01,702
He's out on an assignment,
Miss Henshaw.
520
00:32:01,745 --> 00:32:03,443
I have many things to do,
Captain Riley.
521
00:32:03,486 --> 00:32:05,010
I'm not used
to being kept waiting.
522
00:32:06,533 --> 00:32:07,664
Yeah? MAN: Officer Damon is here.
523
00:32:07,708 --> 00:32:08,709
Send him in.
524
00:32:09,971 --> 00:32:12,582
Your target has just arrived. Oh, good.
525
00:32:12,626 --> 00:32:13,540
Good morning, captain.
526
00:32:14,715 --> 00:32:16,847
You sent for me?Yes, I did.
527
00:32:16,891 --> 00:32:18,719
This is Miss Martha Henshaw.
Officer Damon.
528
00:32:21,635 --> 00:32:23,550
Well, how do you do? How do you do?
529
00:32:23,593 --> 00:32:25,117
Miss Henshaw represents
the City Council.
530
00:32:26,248 --> 00:32:28,076
I repeat, the City Council.
531
00:32:29,295 --> 00:32:31,732
Oh! She has been employed to--
532
00:32:31,775 --> 00:32:33,734
Investigate
the deplorable situation
533
00:32:33,777 --> 00:32:36,041
in this
and other neighborhoods
534
00:32:36,084 --> 00:32:37,738
that are the breeding grounds
for the vast majority
535
00:32:37,781 --> 00:32:39,609
of our local crimes.
536
00:32:39,653 --> 00:32:41,176
Oh, that's great.
That's just wonderful.
537
00:32:41,916 --> 00:32:42,917
Well, how can I fit in?
538
00:32:42,961 --> 00:32:45,224
Officer Damon,
539
00:32:45,267 --> 00:32:48,009
from here on in, you are
to work hand in hand
with Miss Henshaw.
540
00:32:49,619 --> 00:32:51,795
Well, you--
Are you serious? Yes.
541
00:32:51,839 --> 00:32:54,363
Now, look, captain,
you know I work alone.
542
00:32:54,407 --> 00:32:56,496
I can't have some dame-- Some dame?
543
00:32:56,539 --> 00:32:58,411
I got my own system, captain,
you know that.
544
00:32:58,454 --> 00:32:59,934
Up to this point,
your system
seems to have been
545
00:32:59,978 --> 00:33:01,327
one long series
of utter failures.
546
00:33:01,370 --> 00:33:03,111
Well, that's all
a thing of the past.
547
00:33:03,155 --> 00:33:05,244
But from now on, I know
I'm gonna get some results.
548
00:33:05,287 --> 00:33:08,116
Our City Council has
grown weary of incompetence,
Officer Damon,
549
00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:10,031
and is quite convinced
your methods of pampering
550
00:33:10,075 --> 00:33:11,424
these young hoodlums
are a complete waste
551
00:33:11,467 --> 00:33:12,903
of the taxpayers' money.
552
00:33:12,947 --> 00:33:14,993
You talk like
a drunken first sergeant.
553
00:33:15,036 --> 00:33:16,124
What do you
want me to do,
554
00:33:16,168 --> 00:33:17,908
go out and beat
those kids silly?
555
00:33:17,952 --> 00:33:21,173
Of course not.
I abhor cruelty of any kind.
556
00:33:21,216 --> 00:33:23,392
But I firmly believe
discipline,
well-proportioned,
557
00:33:23,436 --> 00:33:25,307
will bring far better results
with these young hoodlums
558
00:33:25,351 --> 00:33:26,874
than sugarcoated
encouragement.
559
00:33:26,917 --> 00:33:28,397
Boy, oh, boy,
oh, boy.
560
00:33:28,441 --> 00:33:30,225
You must've been a lot
of laughs in a parked car.
561
00:33:30,269 --> 00:33:31,705
What'd you say? But, captain...
562
00:33:31,748 --> 00:33:33,446
Apologize to this lady.
Now!
563
00:33:40,844 --> 00:33:43,325
I'm sorry. This is an order.
564
00:33:43,369 --> 00:33:45,023
From here on in,
you are to work with,
565
00:33:45,066 --> 00:33:46,415
not against,
Miss Henshaw.
566
00:33:46,459 --> 00:33:48,896
Is that clear? Yes, sir.
567
00:33:48,939 --> 00:33:50,941
And now,
if you'll both excuse me,
568
00:33:50,985 --> 00:33:53,553
I have some
minor affairs
569
00:33:53,596 --> 00:33:55,598
concerning murder
and robbery to look into.
570
00:33:58,514 --> 00:34:00,168
Sit down,
Officer Damon.
571
00:34:03,519 --> 00:34:04,825
Sit down.
572
00:34:06,348 --> 00:34:07,697
Yes, sir.
573
00:34:10,918 --> 00:34:13,094
Now, first of all,
574
00:34:13,138 --> 00:34:15,444
I'd like to meet
a typical juvenile delinquent.
575
00:34:15,488 --> 00:34:16,750
Okay. Go out
and find yourself one.
576
00:34:17,403 --> 00:34:19,057
Me? Mm-hmm.
577
00:34:19,100 --> 00:34:20,493
I thought you'd
supply me with one.
578
00:34:20,536 --> 00:34:22,843
Oh, no, no, no, no, honey.
I got mine.
579
00:34:22,886 --> 00:34:24,149
Matter of fact, he's having
dinner with me tonight.
580
00:34:25,628 --> 00:34:26,629
Say, I got a fine idea.
581
00:34:28,066 --> 00:34:30,198
You go out and find your boy,
582
00:34:30,242 --> 00:34:31,808
meet me at my place,
we'll all sit around
583
00:34:31,852 --> 00:34:32,983
and bite each other, huh?
584
00:34:34,681 --> 00:34:35,334
Where do I start
to look?
585
00:34:36,857 --> 00:34:37,684
How about the Four-H Club?
586
00:34:39,642 --> 00:34:41,079
Very well, Mr. Damon,
I shall find my delinquent.
587
00:34:42,123 --> 00:34:43,429
It should be
very interesting
588
00:34:43,472 --> 00:34:44,647
seeing your methods
compared to mine.
589
00:34:46,084 --> 00:34:47,737
Yeah, maybe you're right.
590
00:34:47,781 --> 00:34:50,000
Meet me at my place
about 7:00, huh?
591
00:34:53,700 --> 00:34:56,006
Or are you a little
shaky about visiting
592
00:34:56,050 --> 00:34:57,617
a man's apartment, sarge?
593
00:35:00,837 --> 00:35:02,535
Mr. Damon, the man
has not been created
594
00:35:02,578 --> 00:35:04,058
who frightens
Martha Henshaw.
595
00:35:08,193 --> 00:35:10,064
Hey, who won
the ball games today?
596
00:35:10,108 --> 00:35:11,631
I don't know.
Who cares?
597
00:35:19,247 --> 00:35:20,205
Hey there.
598
00:35:21,119 --> 00:35:22,729
What a way to go.
599
00:35:36,003 --> 00:35:38,832
FRANK:
That reminds me of this beast
I met in Cleveland one time.
600
00:35:38,875 --> 00:35:41,400
Wow, was this chick out.
She invited me up
to her place,
601
00:35:41,443 --> 00:35:43,184
and, like, man, I didn't know
what was gonna happen, so--
602
00:35:47,319 --> 00:35:49,712
Young man. Yeah, baby?
603
00:35:49,756 --> 00:35:51,845
I was wondering if perhaps
you aren't busy tonight,
604
00:35:51,888 --> 00:35:54,195
if you might... Busy? What's on your mind,
baby?
605
00:35:54,239 --> 00:35:55,979
Never mind,
never mind.
606
00:35:56,023 --> 00:35:57,894
I hope you're not as uncouth
as your friend.
607
00:35:57,938 --> 00:36:01,420
Me, uncouth? Not me, baby.
Say, what's bugging you?
608
00:36:01,463 --> 00:36:03,465
Well, as I mentioned before,
if you're not busy,
609
00:36:03,509 --> 00:36:05,250
I'd like... I'm with you, chickie.
Let's swing.
610
00:36:05,293 --> 00:36:06,251
Let me go!
611
00:36:07,426 --> 00:36:08,209
What's the matter,
baby?
612
00:36:09,210 --> 00:36:10,733
What, are you
cracking up?
613
00:36:10,777 --> 00:36:12,170
What a punchy
broad that is.
614
00:36:12,909 --> 00:36:14,563
Full of stifled
emotions.
615
00:36:15,869 --> 00:36:16,870
Let's get
out of here.
616
00:36:23,529 --> 00:36:26,619
Hiya, Sidney. Oh, hi, Officer Casey.
617
00:36:26,662 --> 00:36:29,056
Need any help? No, thanks,
I'm doing fine.
618
00:36:29,099 --> 00:36:30,492
Okay, kid.
See you later.
619
00:36:30,536 --> 00:36:31,624
Right. Nice seeing you,
officer.
620
00:36:41,111 --> 00:36:42,461
Hey, Sidney.
621
00:36:47,292 --> 00:36:48,728
Hi. Hi, fellas.
622
00:36:49,772 --> 00:36:50,947
How are you?
Nice day, huh?
623
00:36:52,210 --> 00:36:52,993
I mean, nice day
for hanging around.
624
00:36:54,864 --> 00:36:57,127
What do you say
we all hang around?
625
00:36:57,171 --> 00:36:59,565
Sure been friendly
with the cops lately,
ain't you, kid?
626
00:36:59,608 --> 00:37:02,002
Yeah, no. Oh, me?
No. Cops, friends?
627
00:37:02,045 --> 00:37:03,612
Oh, no. I hate them, Monk.
628
00:37:03,656 --> 00:37:05,266
You do, huh?Yeah.
629
00:37:05,310 --> 00:37:07,137
Then what was that fink cop
doing visiting you
this morning?
630
00:37:07,529 --> 00:37:08,617
Me?
631
00:37:09,531 --> 00:37:11,011
Oh, I don't remember.
632
00:37:11,054 --> 00:37:12,882
What, was he gassing
you about last night?
633
00:37:12,926 --> 00:37:15,320
Oh, him? Oh, no,
he had the wrong room.
634
00:37:15,363 --> 00:37:16,712
Wrong room? Yeah.
635
00:37:16,756 --> 00:37:17,670
You're lying.
636
00:37:19,585 --> 00:37:20,847
Don't ever hit me
like that, Artie.
637
00:37:20,890 --> 00:37:22,283
Why not?
638
00:37:22,327 --> 00:37:23,893
What are you gonna
do about it?Huh?
639
00:37:23,937 --> 00:37:25,721
What are you gonna
do about it?
640
00:37:27,897 --> 00:37:29,247
Nothing now. Ah-ah!
641
00:37:30,073 --> 00:37:31,379
Thank you. Let me have him.
642
00:37:33,468 --> 00:37:35,949
Sidney, you better learn
to keep your big,
fat mouth shut.
643
00:37:35,992 --> 00:37:37,994
You understand? Yeah, I understand.
644
00:37:38,038 --> 00:37:39,213
Hey, come on, you guys,
let him alone.
645
00:37:39,257 --> 00:37:40,823
He didn't do anything.
646
00:37:40,867 --> 00:37:42,651
Don't rough him up. No, I didn't do nothing.
647
00:37:42,695 --> 00:37:44,262
Hey, Sidney. Yeah?
648
00:37:44,305 --> 00:37:45,741
I think I wanna give
you a little gift.
649
00:37:45,785 --> 00:37:46,481
Oh, really?
What is it?
650
00:37:47,090 --> 00:37:48,701
This.Oh.
651
00:37:48,744 --> 00:37:50,093
Go on. No.
652
00:37:50,137 --> 00:37:51,138
Take it.But I don't...
653
00:37:51,181 --> 00:37:52,531
Keep it.No...
654
00:37:52,574 --> 00:37:55,316
It's yours.Oh, thanks very much.
655
00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:57,362
That's nice. Now, you keep it, kid,
656
00:37:57,405 --> 00:37:59,755
as a sort of
a reminder.
657
00:37:59,799 --> 00:38:01,844
When you get too pally with
that shamus friend of yours,
658
00:38:01,888 --> 00:38:03,933
remember,
one of these days,
659
00:38:03,977 --> 00:38:06,284
I'm liable to ask
for my little gift back.
660
00:38:06,327 --> 00:38:08,286
And you know what you're
gonna do, Sidney? Uh-uh.
661
00:38:08,329 --> 00:38:10,113
You're gonna give
it to me...
662
00:38:10,157 --> 00:38:12,855
just so I can
chop you up a touch.
663
00:38:18,905 --> 00:38:21,124
Now, isn't that nice, Sidney? It's very nice.
664
00:38:21,168 --> 00:38:22,387
Let's get out of here.
665
00:38:52,634 --> 00:38:54,288
I'm flipping.
666
00:38:58,553 --> 00:38:59,728
Eew. Yuck. Kkkrr.
667
00:39:02,905 --> 00:39:04,777
Stand back, baby...
668
00:39:04,820 --> 00:39:06,387
or you're gonna
get some of this.
669
00:39:08,476 --> 00:39:09,782
Stay away, baby,
I'm flipping.
670
00:39:11,523 --> 00:39:13,176
Back up, honey,
you're pressing your luck.
671
00:39:14,395 --> 00:39:15,440
You're gonna get one
of these in your...
672
00:39:17,529 --> 00:39:20,923
Back up, baby,
I'm warning you,
you'll get one of these.
673
00:39:23,404 --> 00:39:24,318
Mao, mao, mao!
674
00:39:26,015 --> 00:39:28,104
Young man, I'm your friend.
675
00:39:28,148 --> 00:39:29,802
You are? Please give me the knife.
676
00:39:31,107 --> 00:39:32,326
What's your name? Martha.
677
00:39:32,848 --> 00:39:34,502
Oh, Martha.
678
00:39:41,988 --> 00:39:43,990
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
in a second.
679
00:39:51,258 --> 00:39:52,868
Okay.
680
00:39:52,912 --> 00:39:55,958
Hiya, kid-- Good evening.
681
00:39:56,002 --> 00:39:58,831
Well, the pride of
the City Council.
Come on in.
682
00:40:03,444 --> 00:40:04,793
What's the matter,
my colors clash?
683
00:40:04,837 --> 00:40:06,055
I was looking
for your delinquent.
684
00:40:06,099 --> 00:40:08,014
Oh, he'll be along
pretty soon.
685
00:40:08,057 --> 00:40:09,581
I see you showed up
empty-handed, though.
686
00:40:09,624 --> 00:40:11,539
Oh, far from it.
687
00:40:11,583 --> 00:40:13,149
I've found myself
the perfect example
688
00:40:13,193 --> 00:40:15,413
of what delinquency
represents.
689
00:40:15,456 --> 00:40:16,849
Oh, you brought
your father.
690
00:40:16,892 --> 00:40:17,763
All right, young man,
you may enter.
691
00:40:19,112 --> 00:40:21,636
I'm cutting and killing,
killing and cutting,
692
00:40:21,680 --> 00:40:24,030
anything that gets in my way.
693
00:40:24,073 --> 00:40:27,033
Oh-hoo. Hello.Oh, you two
know each other?
694
00:40:28,382 --> 00:40:31,211
No. No, no. Oh, no. No.
695
00:40:31,254 --> 00:40:34,693
This is your example
of typical
juvenile delinquency?
696
00:40:34,736 --> 00:40:36,521
Correct.
697
00:40:36,564 --> 00:40:39,828
A confused, unbalanced
young man with only
one thought in mind:
698
00:40:39,872 --> 00:40:41,787
Self-destruction.
699
00:40:41,830 --> 00:40:43,789
Hey, Sidney, you wanna
help me with the salad?
700
00:40:43,832 --> 00:40:45,225
Yeah, is the dressing ready?I got some oil and vinegar.
701
00:40:45,268 --> 00:40:46,705
But I don't understand.
702
00:40:46,748 --> 00:40:48,228
He came after me with a knife.
He tried to kill me.
703
00:40:48,271 --> 00:40:50,186
Who, me, baby? Sidney here?
704
00:40:50,230 --> 00:40:51,623
Sidney wouldn't even cut
an orange, would you, boy?
705
00:40:51,666 --> 00:40:52,885
No, I wouldn't.
706
00:40:52,928 --> 00:40:54,974
Young man, you made
a fool of me.
707
00:40:55,017 --> 00:40:57,063
Who, me, chickie?
Why, I was just standing...
708
00:40:57,106 --> 00:40:59,848
He was trying to help,
weren't you? Yes, that's right.
709
00:40:59,892 --> 00:41:01,894
And he's not really
a delinquent at all.
Are you, boy?
710
00:41:01,937 --> 00:41:03,983
You're a mean, miserable,
horrible young man.
711
00:41:04,026 --> 00:41:06,202
Hey, wait a minute.
Now, wait, calm down.
712
00:41:06,246 --> 00:41:07,813
Where's your
sense of humor?
713
00:41:07,856 --> 00:41:09,423
We were just ribbing
you a little bit.
714
00:41:09,467 --> 00:41:11,773
I fail to see the humor
of a situation like this.
715
00:41:11,817 --> 00:41:13,296
Well, actually,
you're right.
716
00:41:13,340 --> 00:41:15,473
There is no joke,
and Sidney does need help.
717
00:41:15,516 --> 00:41:16,735
Matter of fact, he was gonna
be my guest here tonight.
718
00:41:18,824 --> 00:41:20,782
I got a fine idea.
Why don't the two of us
work together
719
00:41:20,826 --> 00:41:22,436
and give him
the helping hand he needs.
720
00:41:23,698 --> 00:41:25,221
What do you say,
Martha?
721
00:41:25,265 --> 00:41:27,006
I prefer to be referred
to as Miss Henshaw.
722
00:41:27,049 --> 00:41:28,094
Oooh.
723
00:41:29,095 --> 00:41:32,490
Well, anything you say,
Martha.
724
00:41:32,533 --> 00:41:34,709
Now, let's chip in and help
this boy out together.
725
00:41:34,753 --> 00:41:36,145
I can assure you,
Mr. Damon,
726
00:41:36,189 --> 00:41:37,756
I'm quite capable of handling
the situation alone.
727
00:41:39,366 --> 00:41:40,280
Yeah, well,
maybe you're right.
728
00:41:41,977 --> 00:41:43,588
Come on, Sidney,
over here, and sit down
in the big chair.
729
00:41:47,722 --> 00:41:49,115
After you,
Miss Henshaw.
730
00:41:49,158 --> 00:41:50,246
You don't mind if
I watch, do you?
731
00:41:50,290 --> 00:41:51,900
Oh, of course not. Good.
732
00:41:51,944 --> 00:41:53,119
This feels like when
they shrink your head.
733
00:41:53,162 --> 00:41:54,294
Maybe I should lie down.
734
00:41:54,337 --> 00:41:56,122
Oh, that won't
be necessary.
735
00:41:56,165 --> 00:41:58,646
Now, first I'd like
to ask you a series
736
00:41:58,690 --> 00:42:00,692
of pertinent questions
about your past.
737
00:42:00,735 --> 00:42:03,259
Yes, ma'am. Tell me about your youth,
738
00:42:03,303 --> 00:42:06,698
your likes and,
most important,
your dislikes and hatreds.
739
00:42:06,741 --> 00:42:07,916
I never hated anybody. You're lying.
740
00:42:10,092 --> 00:42:12,312
Well, I did hate
Herman Zillman. Why?
741
00:42:12,355 --> 00:42:14,053
Oh, because he spit on me. Why?
742
00:42:14,096 --> 00:42:15,968
Because I kicked him. Why did you kick him?
743
00:42:16,011 --> 00:42:18,405
Because he spit on me. You can't knock that.
744
00:42:18,448 --> 00:42:21,060
Did you hate school? Only during the summer.
745
00:42:21,103 --> 00:42:22,191
There's no school
during the summer.
746
00:42:23,018 --> 00:42:24,803
You sure?
747
00:42:24,846 --> 00:42:26,456
Sidney, I won't have you
ridiculing me.
748
00:42:26,500 --> 00:42:27,588
If you don't want
my assistance--
749
00:42:27,632 --> 00:42:28,981
Oh, he wants your help.
Don't you, Sidney?
750
00:42:29,024 --> 00:42:30,243
Oh, yes, I do.
Go ahead, help me.
751
00:42:30,286 --> 00:42:31,810
Oh, this
is ridiculous.
752
00:42:31,853 --> 00:42:33,289
I can't offer him any help
under these conditions.
753
00:42:33,333 --> 00:42:34,943
No, no, no.
Wrong approach, Martha.
754
00:42:34,987 --> 00:42:35,988
Watch.
755
00:42:36,684 --> 00:42:38,947
Sidney, suppose...
756
00:42:38,991 --> 00:42:41,515
I mean, just suppose
that you had your choice
757
00:42:41,559 --> 00:42:42,690
of being anything
in the world.
758
00:42:43,822 --> 00:42:44,605
Now, what would
you rather be?
759
00:42:46,694 --> 00:42:48,827
Gosh, I really don't know. Well, make up
your mind. Think.
760
00:42:48,870 --> 00:42:49,741
I said, I don't know.
761
00:42:50,959 --> 00:42:52,178
Give it a thought,
Sidney, huh?
762
00:42:52,221 --> 00:42:54,310
A plumber, a mailman,
a truck driver?
763
00:42:54,354 --> 00:42:56,922
No. Mechanic, maybe?
An engineer?
764
00:42:56,965 --> 00:42:58,401
How much education
have you had?
765
00:42:58,445 --> 00:43:00,273
Four years high school. I was talking to Sidney.
766
00:43:00,316 --> 00:43:01,448
You mean you were
yelling at him,
767
00:43:01,491 --> 00:43:02,884
and I'm getting just
a little tired of it.
768
00:43:02,928 --> 00:43:04,451
I can do without
your criticism, Mr. Damon.
769
00:43:04,494 --> 00:43:06,714
You can do with any
and all criticism.
770
00:43:06,758 --> 00:43:08,629
You're just about as subtle
as a flamethrower.
771
00:43:08,673 --> 00:43:10,326
I'll thank you to keep
your comments to yourself.
772
00:43:10,370 --> 00:43:11,980
I'll thank you not
to yell at the boy.
773
00:43:12,024 --> 00:43:13,765
Wait a minute-- Shut up, Sidney!
774
00:43:13,808 --> 00:43:15,593
Now, I'm sick and tired
of your attitude.
775
00:43:15,636 --> 00:43:17,072
You're sick and tired? You've done...
776
00:43:17,116 --> 00:43:17,682
Where are you going? Hey, wait a minute, boy.
777
00:43:19,074 --> 00:43:20,946
I'm going home. Hey, now, wait a minute.
778
00:43:20,989 --> 00:43:22,730
Well, I just realized
the two of you
779
00:43:22,774 --> 00:43:24,297
are making
a fool of me.
780
00:43:24,340 --> 00:43:25,777
No, believe me,
nobody's trying
to make a fool--
781
00:43:25,820 --> 00:43:28,344
Yeah, it's true.
You're making a fool of me.
782
00:43:28,388 --> 00:43:30,303
Because you two think
I'm a freak or something.
783
00:43:30,346 --> 00:43:31,652
Or a guinea pig,
784
00:43:31,696 --> 00:43:33,045
and I figure if I sit here
long enough,
785
00:43:33,088 --> 00:43:35,177
you're gonna wind up
sticking pins in me.
786
00:43:35,221 --> 00:43:37,571
Well, I don't like it.
I don't like it at all.
787
00:43:37,615 --> 00:43:41,270
And if you'll be good enough
to excuse me, I'm going home.
788
00:43:41,314 --> 00:43:43,882
Now, wait a minute, Sid. I'm going home.
789
00:43:50,453 --> 00:43:52,412
Well, are you satisfied now,
Miss Big Plans?
790
00:43:52,455 --> 00:43:55,197
One moment, Mr. Damon-- One moment, my foot.
791
00:43:55,241 --> 00:43:57,460
You come in here sticking
your pretty, little,
well-formed nose
792
00:43:57,504 --> 00:43:59,462
into something that you know
absolutely nothing about.
793
00:43:59,506 --> 00:44:01,639
Mr. Damon,
if you'll just-- Shut up!
794
00:44:01,682 --> 00:44:04,119
How would you know
how to handle a kid like that?
795
00:44:04,163 --> 00:44:07,209
You, with your fat
mink stoles and your
back-to-back Chryslers.
796
00:44:07,253 --> 00:44:09,647
That poor bum is me,
ten years ago.
797
00:44:09,690 --> 00:44:12,258
I know what makes him tick
and I know what
makes him sick.
798
00:44:12,301 --> 00:44:15,130
You gotta eat dirt before
you can analyze it, sweets,
799
00:44:15,174 --> 00:44:17,350
and I think that quickly
eliminates you.
800
00:44:17,393 --> 00:44:19,004
Now, pick up your diploma
and head back
801
00:44:19,047 --> 00:44:20,919
to Park Avenue,
where you belong.
802
00:44:20,962 --> 00:44:23,008
And if you've got any ideas
about helping people,
803
00:44:23,051 --> 00:44:25,097
start in on your own parents.
804
00:44:25,140 --> 00:44:27,273
From the looks of you,
they certainly need help.
805
00:44:27,316 --> 00:44:28,578
I can assure you
Captain Riley
806
00:44:28,622 --> 00:44:30,015
will be interested
in this situation.
807
00:44:30,058 --> 00:44:32,321
Good, tell him. Tell him.
Tell him anything you want!
808
00:44:32,365 --> 00:44:33,888
Only, stay away
from Sidney.
809
00:44:34,541 --> 00:44:35,542
Oh, uh...
810
00:44:36,717 --> 00:44:38,937
There's beer in the icebox.
811
00:44:38,980 --> 00:44:41,113
I don't think you'd like it,
though. It's domestic.
812
00:45:22,415 --> 00:45:24,156
SIDNEY'S VOICE:
I'll go my way
813
00:45:26,071 --> 00:45:28,203
By myself
814
00:45:30,075 --> 00:45:34,732
Like walking under a cloud
815
00:45:36,734 --> 00:45:38,605
I'll go my way
816
00:45:39,998 --> 00:45:41,739
By myself
817
00:45:43,349 --> 00:45:47,309
All alone in a crowd
818
00:45:51,923 --> 00:45:57,842
I'll try to apply myself
819
00:46:00,235 --> 00:46:05,197
And teach my heart
how to sing
820
00:46:08,940 --> 00:46:14,902
I'll go my way by myself
821
00:46:16,817 --> 00:46:22,692
Like a bird on the wing
822
00:46:26,131 --> 00:46:30,309
I'll face the unknown
823
00:46:34,052 --> 00:46:38,796
I'll build a world of my own
824
00:46:42,887 --> 00:46:45,280
No one knows better
825
00:46:46,673 --> 00:46:50,895
Than I myself
826
00:46:52,810 --> 00:46:57,815
I'm by myself
827
00:46:59,991 --> 00:47:05,083
Alone
828
00:47:16,834 --> 00:47:20,489
CROW: Sidney,
come up here instantly.
We have work to do.
829
00:47:20,533 --> 00:47:22,622
Okay, Mr. Crow,
I'll be right there.
830
00:47:32,458 --> 00:47:35,069
I got it. I got it, Mr. Crow. Got what?
831
00:47:35,113 --> 00:47:36,897
The model restroom
for the frogs
in the spaceship.
832
00:47:36,941 --> 00:47:38,246
Oh, will those little frogs
be happy.
833
00:47:38,290 --> 00:47:40,118
What frogs?
834
00:47:40,161 --> 00:47:41,510
The frogs that are going
to the moon
835
00:47:41,554 --> 00:47:42,729
when the Earth
is destroyed.
836
00:47:42,772 --> 00:47:43,991
They're going
into the spaceship,
837
00:47:44,035 --> 00:47:45,558
$3 a head, remember?
The spaceship.
838
00:47:45,601 --> 00:47:47,473
What spaceship?
839
00:47:47,516 --> 00:47:50,171
The spaceship that we're
building here for the frogs
840
00:47:50,215 --> 00:47:51,607
for when the world
comes to an end.
841
00:47:51,651 --> 00:47:52,782
The frogs are gonna
go up to the moon
842
00:47:52,826 --> 00:47:54,828
in the spaceship,
these...
843
00:47:54,872 --> 00:47:56,743
And they're gonna fly
when no one takes...
844
00:47:56,786 --> 00:47:58,788
"What frogs"?!
845
00:47:58,832 --> 00:48:02,314
Sidney, you keep babbling
about frogs and spaceships.
846
00:48:02,357 --> 00:48:05,317
We're working on a cure
for the common cold. Look.
847
00:48:05,360 --> 00:48:08,276
At last, a "thinnening"
cough drop.
848
00:48:08,320 --> 00:48:11,410
Noncaloric, nonfattening
and perfect
for skin blemishes.
849
00:48:11,453 --> 00:48:13,064
We'll be millionaires.
850
00:48:14,979 --> 00:48:16,154
I thought we were...
851
00:48:16,850 --> 00:48:18,330
I don't feel very good.
852
00:48:18,373 --> 00:48:20,854
You do look a little pale.
853
00:48:20,898 --> 00:48:23,596
And you have been working
all night, you know.
854
00:48:23,639 --> 00:48:25,728
I just got here, Mr. Crow.
855
00:48:25,772 --> 00:48:29,080
You better go to your room,
lie down, take a nap.
856
00:48:29,123 --> 00:48:31,647
Later on, we'll work
on my frog ship.
857
00:48:31,691 --> 00:48:32,997
It has to be finished quickly,
you know.
858
00:48:34,259 --> 00:48:36,304
Yes, sir. Well,
whatever you say, Mr. Crow.
859
00:48:36,348 --> 00:48:38,045
Good boy, Sidney.
860
00:48:38,089 --> 00:48:40,526
You are a hard worker.
861
00:48:40,569 --> 00:48:42,963
And I couldn't be more pleased
to make you rich.
862
00:48:44,530 --> 00:48:48,926
Oh. Well,
thank you very much,
Mr. Crow.
863
00:48:48,969 --> 00:48:52,233
Rich! Yes, well...
864
00:48:52,277 --> 00:48:54,757
If you don't mind,
I'll go to my room
and lie down
865
00:48:54,801 --> 00:48:57,021
so that the spaceship
will never, ever have
866
00:48:57,064 --> 00:49:00,024
any expedience
on the frogs.
867
00:49:00,067 --> 00:49:02,113
Thank you-- Oh, I'm sorry,
Mr. Crow.
868
00:49:02,156 --> 00:49:03,288
I almost knocked
your glasses off.
869
00:49:04,942 --> 00:49:06,334
Thank you.
870
00:49:06,378 --> 00:49:07,901
Whoo! Ooh!
871
00:49:07,945 --> 00:49:09,337
Oh!
872
00:49:14,081 --> 00:49:15,474
Hi, Sidney.
873
00:49:17,389 --> 00:49:18,477
Hello.
874
00:49:19,217 --> 00:49:20,087
How've you been?
875
00:49:21,306 --> 00:49:22,220
Oh, just fine.
876
00:49:23,873 --> 00:49:25,614
I was wondering if-- Yes, ma'am.
877
00:49:27,268 --> 00:49:29,053
I was wondering...
878
00:49:31,098 --> 00:49:32,012
...if you'd empty
this for me.
879
00:49:34,101 --> 00:49:35,537
Yeah, I'd be glad to.
880
00:49:39,759 --> 00:49:41,761
Oh, uh... Yes, Sidney?
881
00:49:43,110 --> 00:49:43,937
I just thought... Yes?
882
00:49:46,244 --> 00:49:47,593
Oh, that is, I was-- Yes?
883
00:49:49,899 --> 00:49:51,945
Would you like a new lining
in this basket?
884
00:49:55,383 --> 00:49:57,472
I'd appreciate it very much. Okay.
885
00:49:58,169 --> 00:49:59,126
Thank you.
886
00:50:00,040 --> 00:50:01,346
You're welcome.
887
00:50:24,499 --> 00:50:25,457
Hi, Sidney.
888
00:50:26,893 --> 00:50:27,937
Hello.
889
00:50:29,374 --> 00:50:31,376
I've been sitting here
waiting for you.
890
00:50:33,595 --> 00:50:35,380
I have nothing
to talk to you about, officer.
891
00:50:35,423 --> 00:50:37,295
Now, wait a minute, kid,
wait a minute.
892
00:50:37,338 --> 00:50:38,948
You got a lot of reasons
to be sore,
boy, but not at me.
893
00:50:40,298 --> 00:50:42,126
I told you,
I don't wanna talk about it.
894
00:50:42,169 --> 00:50:45,346
I tell you, I had nothing
to do with
the way that dame acted.
895
00:50:45,390 --> 00:50:47,044
Didn't you take me up there
to put me under glass?
896
00:50:47,087 --> 00:50:48,828
No. No, I don't think
you're a specimen,
897
00:50:48,871 --> 00:50:50,699
if that's what you mean.
898
00:50:50,743 --> 00:50:51,961
But if you do mean did I bring
you up there to help you,
899
00:50:52,005 --> 00:50:52,962
yeah, you're right.
900
00:50:55,008 --> 00:50:57,706
Help me? Well, you certainly
didn't show it.
901
00:50:57,750 --> 00:50:59,056
Look, kid, I can only help you
if you wanna be helped.
902
00:51:00,274 --> 00:51:01,710
You keep fighting me,
why,
903
00:51:01,754 --> 00:51:02,494
we're gonna end up
in a stalemate.
904
00:51:04,235 --> 00:51:06,106
Me fighting you?Yeah.
905
00:51:06,150 --> 00:51:08,978
Mike, you came to me.
I didn't come to you,
you know.
906
00:51:09,022 --> 00:51:11,459
You're the guy that's telling
me I'm gonna this
and that and...
907
00:51:12,808 --> 00:51:15,550
And you get me all mixed-up
and all confused.
908
00:51:17,422 --> 00:51:18,553
I don't know.
909
00:51:24,951 --> 00:51:26,605
How does a guy know
what he wants to be,
910
00:51:27,606 --> 00:51:29,608
especially someone like me?
911
00:51:32,045 --> 00:51:33,002
Well, kid, the...
912
00:51:34,830 --> 00:51:37,224
The first thing is
to find out what you are.
913
00:51:40,358 --> 00:51:41,707
What am I?
914
00:51:43,404 --> 00:51:45,102
That's a very good question.
915
00:51:46,886 --> 00:51:48,105
But the answer
ain't very nice.
916
00:51:49,671 --> 00:51:50,498
I'll tell you what I am.
917
00:51:52,370 --> 00:51:53,284
I'm a nowhere...
918
00:51:55,721 --> 00:51:58,115
And that's the worst
kind of something there is.
919
00:52:00,378 --> 00:52:01,770
I could never, ever be
anything I wanted to be.
920
00:52:03,294 --> 00:52:04,077
Because when I tried
to be bad,
921
00:52:05,078 --> 00:52:06,035
I was good.
922
00:52:07,298 --> 00:52:08,995
When I tried to be good,
I was stupid.
923
00:52:10,649 --> 00:52:11,519
Even when I was a kid.
924
00:52:12,999 --> 00:52:14,653
When I was a kid,
I was dumb.
925
00:52:16,698 --> 00:52:17,569
When I was a boy,
926
00:52:18,439 --> 00:52:20,224
I was jerky.
927
00:52:21,616 --> 00:52:22,617
And now...
928
00:52:23,531 --> 00:52:24,750
now I'm a man.
929
00:52:27,666 --> 00:52:29,058
And I'm empty.
930
00:52:31,974 --> 00:52:33,585
Well, that about adds it up.
931
00:52:36,240 --> 00:52:38,416
Except for two very important
things I know about myself.
932
00:52:40,113 --> 00:52:41,158
One,
933
00:52:42,333 --> 00:52:43,290
I'm nothing.
934
00:52:44,248 --> 00:52:45,249
Two,
935
00:52:46,641 --> 00:52:48,469
I sure would like to be
something.
936
00:52:54,301 --> 00:52:55,607
Sidney.
937
00:52:58,784 --> 00:53:01,700
Kid, you name it,
and I'll help you be it.
938
00:53:02,527 --> 00:53:03,441
You promise?
939
00:53:04,485 --> 00:53:05,791
I promise.
940
00:53:08,533 --> 00:53:09,925
Okay, I know what I wanna be. Yeah?
941
00:53:11,971 --> 00:53:13,842
I wanna be somebody
that helps other people.
942
00:53:13,886 --> 00:53:14,669
Good, that's good thinking.
943
00:53:16,454 --> 00:53:18,195
I wanna be looked up to
and respected.
944
00:53:18,238 --> 00:53:19,196
You will be.
945
00:53:20,501 --> 00:53:23,200
I wanna be a cop. You wanna be a...?
946
00:53:25,419 --> 00:53:27,291
You wanna be a cop?
947
00:53:27,334 --> 00:53:29,728
I wanna be a police
officer like you.
948
00:53:29,771 --> 00:53:31,208
Now, wait a minute, Sidney,
you can't be a...
949
00:53:31,251 --> 00:53:32,992
Uh-huh. No, I mean...
950
00:53:33,035 --> 00:53:34,776
Yeah, just like I thought,
you're not interested.
951
00:53:34,820 --> 00:53:36,735
No, no, I didn't say that.
That's not what I meant.
952
00:53:36,778 --> 00:53:37,518
No, you're like
everybody else.
953
00:53:38,998 --> 00:53:41,783
You think I'm stupid. No, no, I don't.
954
00:53:41,827 --> 00:53:42,480
Well, let me tell
you something.
955
00:53:44,438 --> 00:53:46,614
I'm gonna be something
if it kills me.
956
00:53:49,530 --> 00:53:51,358
Look, boy, it's not
easy being a cop.
957
00:53:52,794 --> 00:53:54,187
What does it
cost me to try?
958
00:53:55,754 --> 00:53:58,974
The pay stinks.
The hours are worse.
959
00:53:59,018 --> 00:54:01,238
It's a rough, tough,
thankless job.
960
00:54:01,281 --> 00:54:02,413
You don't
wanna be a cop.
961
00:54:02,456 --> 00:54:03,501
Yes, I do.
962
00:54:09,637 --> 00:54:10,682
Okay, kid.
963
00:54:11,857 --> 00:54:13,859
I'm gonna make you a cop.
964
00:54:13,902 --> 00:54:16,862
I'm gonna make you the best
doggone cop in this town.
965
00:54:16,905 --> 00:54:19,734
Honest to goodness? Honest to goodness.
966
00:54:19,778 --> 00:54:21,780
That's wonderful. Come on,
let's go get a badge.
967
00:54:21,823 --> 00:54:24,086
No, wait a minute.
Now, wait a minute, boy.
968
00:54:24,130 --> 00:54:25,349
There's a few things
we gotta do first.
969
00:54:25,392 --> 00:54:26,959
Yeah, like what?
970
00:54:27,002 --> 00:54:28,743
Well, now, we gotta
get you enrolled
in the police academy.
971
00:54:28,787 --> 00:54:30,005
Well, that sounds
like fun.
972
00:54:30,049 --> 00:54:31,268
Fun, yeah. Well,
if you can call
973
00:54:31,311 --> 00:54:32,834
13 weeks
of backbreaking work
974
00:54:32,878 --> 00:54:34,575
and brain-busting
examinations fun,
975
00:54:34,619 --> 00:54:36,447
well, that's it. Well, don't worry about me.
976
00:54:36,490 --> 00:54:39,188
I can do anything
I have to do.
I can do anything I wanna do.
977
00:54:39,232 --> 00:54:42,409
Now, how do I get into
this here academy?
978
00:54:42,453 --> 00:54:45,630
Well, first you gotta be
recommended
by a police officer.
979
00:54:45,673 --> 00:54:47,022
Oh, well, that would
be you, right?
980
00:54:47,066 --> 00:54:48,372
Yeah, that'd be me.
981
00:54:48,415 --> 00:54:49,938
And then what's
the next step?
982
00:54:49,982 --> 00:54:51,766
Well, then the recommendation
has to be okay'd
983
00:54:51,810 --> 00:54:53,464
by the precinct captain.
984
00:54:53,507 --> 00:54:55,074
Well, that would
be Captain Riley. Mm-hm.
985
00:54:55,117 --> 00:54:56,380
Well, he likes you,
doesn't he?
986
00:54:56,423 --> 00:54:58,382
Oh, sure,
he's crazy about me.
987
00:54:58,425 --> 00:54:59,948
Yeah,
especially now.
988
00:54:59,992 --> 00:55:01,515
Then what do we got
to worry about?
989
00:55:02,908 --> 00:55:05,780
Sidney Pythias
a police officer?
990
00:55:05,824 --> 00:55:07,478
Are you out of your mind?
991
00:55:07,521 --> 00:55:09,828
But, captain-- Be quiet.
992
00:55:09,871 --> 00:55:12,004
You wanna take
this half-baked, dimwitted...
993
00:55:12,047 --> 00:55:14,659
He's not half-baked
and he's not dimwitted.
994
00:55:14,702 --> 00:55:17,792
He's just a little... shy. Shy?
995
00:55:17,836 --> 00:55:20,142
This creep ought to have
his own revolving door.
996
00:55:20,186 --> 00:55:21,883
Well, I can see
it's no use arguing with you
997
00:55:21,927 --> 00:55:23,668
after what that
Henshaw dame told you.
998
00:55:23,711 --> 00:55:26,105
Yeah, and if it wasn't
for that Henshaw dame,
999
00:55:26,148 --> 00:55:28,629
and you came in here
with that stupid suggestion,
1000
00:55:28,673 --> 00:55:30,327
I'd hit you over your
silly head with that inkstand.
1001
00:55:31,328 --> 00:55:32,111
What are you
talking about?
1002
00:55:32,981 --> 00:55:35,244
Martha Henshaw
just left here.
1003
00:55:35,288 --> 00:55:37,464
She told me that
in her opinion,
1004
00:55:37,508 --> 00:55:39,510
you were best qualified
to handle so-called
1005
00:55:39,553 --> 00:55:41,120
delinquents
like Sidney.
1006
00:55:41,163 --> 00:55:41,947
She said
she wouldn't interfere.
1007
00:55:43,383 --> 00:55:44,863
Yeah?
1008
00:55:44,906 --> 00:55:46,821
She said that? Yeah.
1009
00:55:49,041 --> 00:55:51,652
Well, what do you know.
1010
00:55:51,696 --> 00:55:55,221
But as far as making
Sidney Pythias
a police officer,
1011
00:55:55,264 --> 00:55:58,093
don't you think that's
pushing things
a little too hard?
1012
00:55:58,137 --> 00:56:00,487
Captain, I promise you
he can do it.
1013
00:56:00,531 --> 00:56:02,097
And I promise you
1014
00:56:02,141 --> 00:56:04,273
that in 24 hours,
1015
00:56:04,317 --> 00:56:06,841
the police academy
will be burned to the ground.
1016
00:56:06,885 --> 00:56:08,626
No, I won't okay it.
1017
00:56:11,542 --> 00:56:12,847
Is that final, sir?
1018
00:56:12,891 --> 00:56:14,283
That's final.
1019
00:56:18,853 --> 00:56:20,028
Yes, sir.
1020
00:56:22,509 --> 00:56:23,728
Final.
1021
00:56:27,949 --> 00:56:29,690
Mike.Yes, sir?
1022
00:56:32,040 --> 00:56:33,999
Do you really think...? Captain,
1023
00:56:34,042 --> 00:56:37,089
he's honest,
he's got guts
1024
00:56:37,132 --> 00:56:39,091
and he's a decent
human being.
1025
00:56:40,614 --> 00:56:41,833
Captain...
1026
00:56:43,443 --> 00:56:44,749
Captain, I'm begging you.
1027
00:56:46,315 --> 00:56:47,360
All right.
1028
00:56:47,926 --> 00:56:48,840
I'll okay it.
1029
00:56:49,928 --> 00:56:50,885
But get this.
1030
00:56:51,756 --> 00:56:53,714
He's your responsibility,
1031
00:56:53,758 --> 00:56:55,368
first, last and always. Yes, sir.
1032
00:56:55,412 --> 00:56:56,804
And if anything
goes wrong--
1033
00:56:56,848 --> 00:56:58,284
No, no, sir, nothing
will go wrong,
1034
00:56:58,327 --> 00:56:59,677
captain, nothing will
go wrong, I promise you.
1035
00:56:59,720 --> 00:57:01,418
Nothing, I promise.
1036
00:57:02,636 --> 00:57:03,898
Nothing.
1037
00:57:10,035 --> 00:57:11,863
Gentlemen, we're in trouble.
1038
00:57:13,299 --> 00:57:15,475
Terrible, terrible trouble.
1039
00:57:16,824 --> 00:57:18,130
All right, now, do you
understand?
1040
00:57:18,173 --> 00:57:19,740
Yeah, perfectly.
I understand that.
1041
00:57:19,784 --> 00:57:21,133
Okay, what's next? Well, this here.
1042
00:57:22,351 --> 00:57:24,005
What's that, what's that?
1043
00:57:24,049 --> 00:57:25,616
That's your application
for the police academy.
1044
00:57:25,659 --> 00:57:27,618
What's it say, what's it say? There's a lot of questions.
1045
00:57:27,661 --> 00:57:29,010
For example, for example? Well, there's...
1046
00:57:29,054 --> 00:57:30,316
You have to repeat
everything twice?
1047
00:57:30,359 --> 00:57:32,144
Oh, no. Oh, no.
Uh-uh. Uh-uh.
1048
00:57:33,406 --> 00:57:34,276
Now, let's get down to...
1049
00:57:37,366 --> 00:57:39,151
Hey, how about
that Martha Henshaw
1050
00:57:39,194 --> 00:57:40,587
turning out to be
a right chick, huh?
1051
00:57:40,631 --> 00:57:42,720
Yeah, that's terrific.You can't knock
a girl like her.
1052
00:57:42,763 --> 00:57:44,939
No. She's honest and pretty,
1053
00:57:44,983 --> 00:57:47,551
beautiful, intelligent.
Lovely girl.Oh...
1054
00:57:47,594 --> 00:57:49,030
You know,
and she could really have
1055
00:57:49,074 --> 00:57:50,858
fouled me up
with Captain Riley.
1056
00:57:50,902 --> 00:57:52,512
But she didn't.
She turned around
and made me a big man.
1057
00:57:52,556 --> 00:57:53,774
Oh, that's really terrific.
1058
00:57:53,818 --> 00:57:54,732
Yes, sir! Now, the appli...
1059
00:57:56,473 --> 00:57:57,430
Hey, you sort of
like her, huh?
1060
00:57:59,040 --> 00:58:01,521
Fair. Uh-huh. Fair.
Yeah, well,
1061
00:58:01,565 --> 00:58:03,175
I think you like her
a little better than a lot.
1062
00:58:03,218 --> 00:58:04,350
As a matter of fact,
I think that's all
1063
00:58:04,393 --> 00:58:06,483
you got on your
mind right now.
1064
00:58:06,526 --> 00:58:08,267
No, you're crazy.
The only thing I got
on my mind right now
1065
00:58:08,310 --> 00:58:09,964
is trying to get you
into the police academy.
1066
00:58:10,008 --> 00:58:12,010
Ha, ha, ha-- Ha, ha, ha.
1067
00:58:12,053 --> 00:58:13,664
Come on, now, Martha,
let's get this
thing filled out.
1068
00:58:13,707 --> 00:58:15,448
Well, whatever you say,
Harriet.
1069
00:58:15,492 --> 00:58:17,276
You know, I was talking
to Hilda on the phone Sunday,
1070
00:58:17,319 --> 00:58:18,277
and she said that there
was no chance of us...
1071
00:58:19,496 --> 00:58:22,107
Let's get to
the application, then.
1072
00:58:22,150 --> 00:58:24,239
Yeah, let's get to these
requirements.Yeah.
1073
00:58:24,283 --> 00:58:25,850
You're an American citizen,
right? Right.
1074
00:58:25,893 --> 00:58:28,026
Right. 21 years of age
or over, right? Right.
1075
00:58:28,069 --> 00:58:29,767
Right. Sound of body?Right.
1076
00:58:29,810 --> 00:58:31,899
Right. Sound of mind?
1077
00:58:31,943 --> 00:58:33,553
Could we go back to
that question a little later?
1078
00:58:33,597 --> 00:58:34,423
I'd like to check on it.
1079
00:58:36,861 --> 00:58:37,905
Oh-oh. Here's one. Where, where?
1080
00:58:37,949 --> 00:58:38,950
Here, here.
1081
00:58:40,647 --> 00:58:42,170
They prefer that
you speak a smattering
1082
00:58:42,214 --> 00:58:44,433
of a foreign language.Why?
1083
00:58:44,477 --> 00:58:46,261
Well, suppose
you're put on duty
1084
00:58:46,305 --> 00:58:48,220
in a neighborhood where they
only spoke a foreign language.
1085
00:58:48,263 --> 00:58:50,527
Oh, you mean
like Brooklyn?
1086
00:58:50,570 --> 00:58:53,312
Well, that makes sense.
I can speak a smattering
of Mongolian.
1087
00:58:53,355 --> 00:58:54,356
Oh, yeah? You wanna hear?
1088
00:58:54,400 --> 00:58:56,663
Yeah.
1089
00:59:02,756 --> 00:59:05,280
You're kidding.Would I lie to you?
1090
00:59:05,324 --> 00:59:07,587
Yeah, well, that's all
very well, but look,
1091
00:59:07,631 --> 00:59:09,850
you've gotta speak
a normal foreign language.
1092
00:59:09,894 --> 00:59:11,591
Well, in high school,
I took four years of French.
1093
00:59:11,635 --> 00:59:13,071
Yeah? You wanna hear some?
1094
00:59:13,114 --> 00:59:14,899
Yeah.
1095
00:59:17,292 --> 00:59:18,642
No.
1096
00:59:19,556 --> 00:59:20,948
No.
1097
00:59:25,692 --> 00:59:27,172
All right, Sidney.
Come on, now,
1098
00:59:27,215 --> 00:59:28,695
we're wasting time.
We've got things to do here.
1099
00:59:28,739 --> 00:59:29,914
What's this? What's what?
1100
00:59:29,957 --> 00:59:31,219
This. This?
1101
00:59:31,263 --> 00:59:32,699
Well, this is part
of your entrance exam.
1102
00:59:32,743 --> 00:59:34,179
I borrowed it
from the police academy
1103
00:59:34,222 --> 00:59:35,354
so you could get
used to it.
1104
00:59:35,397 --> 00:59:37,356
Oh, well, what's it do? Oh, well, here.
1105
00:59:39,010 --> 00:59:41,665
There we go. Oh, I know what that is.
1106
00:59:41,708 --> 00:59:43,884
Yeah, what is it? I don't know what that is.
1107
00:59:43,928 --> 00:59:45,407
It's a test designed
to test your reflexes
1108
00:59:45,451 --> 00:59:47,105
and your reactions.
1109
00:59:47,148 --> 00:59:48,672
See, now, you take out all
these little blocks here,
1110
00:59:48,715 --> 00:59:51,065
you mix them up
all real good, see?
1111
00:59:51,109 --> 00:59:53,241
Then, in a given length
of time, you take it back
1112
00:59:53,285 --> 00:59:54,808
and you put the octagonal
in the octagonal hole,
1113
00:59:54,852 --> 00:59:55,853
the round one
in the round hole.
1114
00:59:57,550 --> 00:59:59,596
Simple, huh? You did very well.
1115
00:59:59,639 --> 01:00:00,684
Thank you. Okay, what's next?
1116
01:00:02,163 --> 01:00:04,339
No, no, Sidney, no.
I want you to work the blocks.
1117
01:00:04,383 --> 01:00:05,863
Oh, no, wait a minute,
that's for kids.
1118
01:00:05,906 --> 01:00:07,647
Come on, try it.
1119
01:00:07,691 --> 01:00:09,170
No, but I-- Please.
1120
01:00:09,214 --> 01:00:10,041
But I-- Now!
1121
01:00:12,826 --> 01:00:15,176
Okay. I feel a little silly,
though, because kids do this,
1122
01:00:15,220 --> 01:00:17,352
you know,
and it's so simple. Out. Out.
1123
01:00:17,396 --> 01:00:19,659
All of them? Yeah. All of them.
1124
01:00:19,703 --> 01:00:20,704
All right, now...?All right.
1125
01:00:22,575 --> 01:00:23,837
Now!Okay.
1126
01:00:26,535 --> 01:00:28,363
How much time have
I got to do this?
1127
01:00:28,407 --> 01:00:30,104
This... Here,
I'll put this...
1128
01:00:32,280 --> 01:00:33,891
They don't fit good
like when yours... Was.
1129
01:00:35,632 --> 01:00:36,850
You mustn't get mad,
though, when...
1130
01:00:38,243 --> 01:00:39,113
They don't fit as good.
1131
01:00:40,637 --> 01:00:43,248
Well, the kids I saw
were larger kids, maybe.
1132
01:00:45,903 --> 01:00:47,382
You can just throw
it right in it.
1133
01:00:51,299 --> 01:00:52,866
How did yours fit in
so nice when you...?
1134
01:00:54,085 --> 01:00:56,000
It's hard
to do this part.
1135
01:00:58,393 --> 01:00:59,177
It don't work good
with me.
1136
01:01:00,178 --> 01:01:02,049
This...
Maybe...
1137
01:01:05,052 --> 01:01:06,837
You get awfully frustrated
when they don't...
1138
01:01:09,535 --> 01:01:11,406
Maybe the kids were using
different kinds of blocks.
1139
01:01:17,325 --> 01:01:18,500
Ohhh-ho-ho-ho!
1140
01:01:18,544 --> 01:01:19,632
I hurt it a little.
1141
01:01:23,288 --> 01:01:25,159
Well, how was the time?
1142
01:01:25,203 --> 01:01:27,945
I mean, I threw one away
when I was... And I...
1143
01:01:28,989 --> 01:01:31,557
You see, I...
But I...
1144
01:01:31,600 --> 01:01:33,298
What if I didn't...?
You can't close the box?
1145
01:01:34,734 --> 01:01:36,388
But I... I mean, it fell
into place like...
1146
01:01:41,219 --> 01:01:42,089
How was it, then?
1147
01:01:43,395 --> 01:01:45,092
All right, now,
come on,
1148
01:01:45,136 --> 01:01:46,180
let's get this application
filled out.
1149
01:01:46,224 --> 01:01:48,487
Come in. Anybody home?
1150
01:01:48,530 --> 01:01:50,271
Well, look who's here. Hello, Sidney.
1151
01:01:50,315 --> 01:01:51,969
Hello, Miss Henshaw.
Just a minute.
1152
01:01:52,012 --> 01:01:53,492
Oh, thank you.
1153
01:01:55,015 --> 01:01:56,190
Hello. Hi!
1154
01:01:57,496 --> 01:02:00,194
I mean, how are you? Oh, just fine.
1155
01:02:00,238 --> 01:02:01,935
I stopped by to apologize
to both of you.
1156
01:02:01,979 --> 01:02:03,676
I acted quite childish.
1157
01:02:03,720 --> 01:02:05,504
Oh, no, no, it's me
who should apologize.
1158
01:02:05,547 --> 01:02:06,897
I talked with
Captain Riley and...
1159
01:02:08,289 --> 01:02:10,509
I mean, thanks
for those kind words.
1160
01:02:11,466 --> 01:02:13,512
Well, I know
you boys are busy.
1161
01:02:13,555 --> 01:02:16,036
No, no, we're not!Oh, yes, we are. You see,
1162
01:02:16,080 --> 01:02:17,821
I'm practicing
and rehearsing because
1163
01:02:17,864 --> 01:02:19,213
I'm going
into the police academy.
1164
01:02:19,257 --> 01:02:21,085
Captain Riley told me.
Good luck, Sidney.
1165
01:02:21,128 --> 01:02:23,478
I know you'll pass. Thank you very much.
1166
01:02:23,522 --> 01:02:25,829
Well, I do have a date.
I should be...
1167
01:02:25,872 --> 01:02:27,308
Well, uh, uh...
1168
01:02:27,352 --> 01:02:29,223
Well, can't you
stick around a while?
1169
01:02:29,267 --> 01:02:31,051
How can she?
We got a lot of work to do.
1170
01:02:31,095 --> 01:02:32,183
I gotta learn
about the application
1171
01:02:32,226 --> 01:02:34,489
and putting the blocks,
1172
01:02:34,533 --> 01:02:37,536
and you gotta teach me...
Although I know it,
1173
01:02:37,579 --> 01:02:38,929
so you don't have
to teach me nothing.
1174
01:02:38,972 --> 01:02:40,974
Why don't you take
Miss Henshaw home
1175
01:02:41,018 --> 01:02:43,063
and I'll stay here
and I'll work on this.
1176
01:02:43,107 --> 01:02:44,891
Oh, Sidney,
that won't be necessary.
I can take a cab.
1177
01:02:44,935 --> 01:02:46,675
No, no, I insist!He insists.
1178
01:02:46,719 --> 01:02:48,242
Uh, yeah. Come on.
1179
01:02:49,591 --> 01:02:52,377
Oh, excuse me a minute.
Sidney, come here.
1180
01:02:52,420 --> 01:02:54,031
Look, I want you to
study this application,
1181
01:02:54,074 --> 01:02:55,815
then fill out the questions
very thoroughly.
1182
01:02:55,859 --> 01:02:57,077
I'll check with you
when I get off work.
1183
01:02:57,121 --> 01:02:58,949
All right?All right. Oh, listen.
1184
01:02:58,992 --> 01:02:59,950
You don't like her
at all, right?
1185
01:02:59,993 --> 01:03:00,994
No. No.
1186
01:03:01,038 --> 01:03:01,865
Hee-gee.
1187
01:03:03,736 --> 01:03:05,520
Goodbye, Sidney.Goodbye, Miss Henshaw.
1188
01:03:06,086 --> 01:03:07,348
Bye, kid.
1189
01:03:09,873 --> 01:03:11,613
I'll lick you yet!
1190
01:03:11,657 --> 01:03:13,746
This goes in here,
whether he likes it or not,
1191
01:03:13,790 --> 01:03:15,052
and that'll fit there.
1192
01:03:15,095 --> 01:03:17,228
But it don't fit,
so I won't do that one.
1193
01:03:17,271 --> 01:03:19,752
I'll put this one here
and that one there.
1194
01:03:55,396 --> 01:03:56,267
Good morning, officer.
1195
01:03:57,355 --> 01:03:58,225
Good evening,
officer.
1196
01:04:00,097 --> 01:04:01,359
How do you do, officer?
1197
01:04:36,698 --> 01:04:37,656
Oh...
1198
01:04:42,226 --> 01:04:44,184
All right, hold it there.
1199
01:04:44,228 --> 01:04:46,491
Come along, children.
Children, come along.
1200
01:04:46,534 --> 01:04:48,014
Hold it.
Good morning, honey.
1201
01:04:50,234 --> 01:04:51,104
Good afternoon, madam.
1202
01:04:52,323 --> 01:04:53,324
Can I help you with your car?
1203
01:04:55,326 --> 01:04:56,936
HERMAN: Sidney! Oh, just a minute.
1204
01:04:56,980 --> 01:04:58,242
Uh...
1205
01:04:58,285 --> 01:04:59,286
One second.
1206
01:05:01,898 --> 01:05:02,899
Sidney!
1207
01:05:05,118 --> 01:05:07,077
Oh, hello, Mr. Herman. What are you doing?
1208
01:05:07,120 --> 01:05:09,296
Well, I'm just
playing a game. Forget about the games.
1209
01:05:09,340 --> 01:05:11,081
What about the lights?
What about the heat?
1210
01:05:11,124 --> 01:05:13,257
What about the dumbwaiter? Well, I fixed the dumbwaiter.
1211
01:05:13,300 --> 01:05:14,998
You fixed it? Well, yeah.
1212
01:05:15,041 --> 01:05:16,913
Well, it don't work! Well, I don't
understand that.
1213
01:05:16,956 --> 01:05:18,088
I fixed it.
I'll show you, Mr. Herman.
1214
01:05:18,131 --> 01:05:19,524
I don't understand at all,
1215
01:05:19,567 --> 01:05:21,395
because I worked very
hard on this thing.
1216
01:05:21,439 --> 01:05:22,440
I worked and worked to
make sure that it was... I...
1217
01:05:24,616 --> 01:05:26,661
So you fixed it, huh? Yeah, well, I thought...
1218
01:05:26,705 --> 01:05:29,534
Get out of there!
I'll fix this thing once
and for all myself.
1219
01:05:29,577 --> 01:05:30,970
Be careful
of your head, Mr. Herman.
1220
01:05:31,014 --> 01:05:32,624
Get me a flashlight! Yeah, but I'd like to...
1221
01:05:32,667 --> 01:05:33,799
Shut up and get me
a flashlight!
1222
01:05:33,842 --> 01:05:35,409
Yes, I will.
1223
01:05:35,453 --> 01:05:37,759
I really don't
understand this at all.
1224
01:05:37,803 --> 01:05:39,196
I fixed it. And you
better be careful
1225
01:05:39,239 --> 01:05:40,632
that you don't
hurt yourself.
1226
01:05:40,675 --> 01:05:42,286
Your whole place can get...
From in there.
1227
01:05:42,329 --> 01:05:43,156
Ahh!
1228
01:05:48,683 --> 01:05:50,555
Sidney!
1229
01:06:03,437 --> 01:06:04,961
Hello.
1230
01:06:07,050 --> 01:06:08,616
I said, hello. I think.
1231
01:06:10,618 --> 01:06:12,490
Goodbye. Sidney.
1232
01:06:13,273 --> 01:06:14,274
Yeah?
1233
01:06:16,189 --> 01:06:19,236
Sidney, am I unattractive? Oh, no, ma'am.
1234
01:06:19,279 --> 01:06:21,194
Am I old, decrepit, witchlike?
1235
01:06:22,282 --> 01:06:23,892
Oh, no. Then why in the world
1236
01:06:23,936 --> 01:06:25,242
do you constantly
ignore me?
1237
01:06:27,070 --> 01:06:30,551
I'm a young woman,
21 years old, and whether
you know it or not,
1238
01:06:30,595 --> 01:06:32,771
quite in demand by young men
who would just love
to take me out.
1239
01:06:34,207 --> 01:06:36,993
I know that.
I know that.
1240
01:06:37,036 --> 01:06:38,516
I know you're
in constant demand.
1241
01:06:38,559 --> 01:06:40,083
I know a lot about you.
1242
01:06:40,126 --> 01:06:42,389
I know you're 21 years of age
and you were born in Albany,
1243
01:06:42,433 --> 01:06:44,087
you're studying to be a nurse.
I know all that.
1244
01:06:44,130 --> 01:06:46,002
You're very young,
you're very pretty,
1245
01:06:46,045 --> 01:06:48,178
you're very much in demand
with other fellas
and you smell nice.
1246
01:06:48,221 --> 01:06:49,527
Well, then why
in the world...? Why in the world?
1247
01:06:49,570 --> 01:06:50,832
Because I'm nothing.
1248
01:06:50,876 --> 01:06:52,573
You don't deserve
to be with that, a nothing.
1249
01:06:52,617 --> 01:06:54,097
You wait till
it's something, me.
1250
01:06:54,140 --> 01:06:56,447
When I'm something,
then I'll talk to you.
1251
01:06:56,490 --> 01:06:58,710
I don't think you should be
with nothing. That's it, see?
1252
01:06:58,753 --> 01:07:00,016
And I'll be something.
1253
01:07:00,059 --> 01:07:02,279
And until then,
there's no hugging.
1254
01:07:02,322 --> 01:07:05,108
Or kissing and things...
With smelling nice.
1255
01:07:05,151 --> 01:07:08,111
I'll be somebody
and when I'm somebody,
then it'll be right.
1256
01:07:08,154 --> 01:07:12,245
But I'm not now,
so it's no good
at all to be with you.
1257
01:07:12,289 --> 01:07:13,507
And when I'm somebody,
1258
01:07:13,551 --> 01:07:15,161
and it'll be sooner
than you think,
1259
01:07:15,205 --> 01:07:17,424
sooner than a lot of people
think, I'll be something,
1260
01:07:17,468 --> 01:07:20,514
then I'll talk to you
and all that.
1261
01:07:20,558 --> 01:07:22,038
I'll empty your
wastebasket.
1262
01:07:22,864 --> 01:07:23,778
You smell nice.
1263
01:07:28,131 --> 01:07:30,220
Dropped a few
of those things...
1264
01:07:30,263 --> 01:07:31,743
Mm.
1265
01:07:48,847 --> 01:07:50,153
Is this it?This is it, kid.
1266
01:07:50,979 --> 01:07:52,764
Well, Mike,
1267
01:07:52,807 --> 01:07:54,592
I'm gonna go and pass
my entrance examinations
1268
01:07:54,635 --> 01:07:55,984
with flying colors.
1269
01:07:56,028 --> 01:07:57,812
You can do it, kid. I can do it, kid.
1270
01:07:57,856 --> 01:07:59,597
You can do it as well
as anybody else, Sidney.
1271
01:07:59,640 --> 01:08:01,294
I can do it as well
as anybody else, Sidney.
1272
01:08:01,338 --> 01:08:02,991
You're gonna be
a police officer.
1273
01:08:03,035 --> 01:08:04,602
I'm going home. You're gonna stay right here.
1274
01:08:04,645 --> 01:08:05,777
Well, I'm scared, Mike.
1275
01:08:05,820 --> 01:08:07,387
Now, look, Sidney,
after you pass
1276
01:08:07,431 --> 01:08:08,649
your entrance
examinations,
1277
01:08:08,693 --> 01:08:10,042
you're over
the first big hurdle.
1278
01:08:10,086 --> 01:08:11,435
Yeah, I know,
but I'm still scared.
1279
01:08:11,478 --> 01:08:12,697
I'd like you to be with me.
Maybe you could help me.
1280
01:08:12,740 --> 01:08:14,481
That's another thing,
now, Sidney.
1281
01:08:14,525 --> 01:08:16,222
Remember,
I'm a police officer.
1282
01:08:16,266 --> 01:08:17,658
As far as you're concerned,
1283
01:08:17,702 --> 01:08:19,095
I've gotta take a completely
unbiased attitude.
1284
01:08:20,966 --> 01:08:24,448
But after work at night,
I'll help you out a little.
1285
01:08:24,491 --> 01:08:26,014
Oh, good.
Thanks a lot, Mike. Good luck, kid.
1286
01:08:26,058 --> 01:08:27,668
Thank you.Goodbye.
1287
01:08:27,712 --> 01:08:28,756
So long.
1288
01:08:37,417 --> 01:08:38,984
Next. Yes, sir.
1289
01:08:39,027 --> 01:08:41,073
Name? William C. Goerner, sir.
1290
01:08:41,117 --> 01:08:45,643
Goerner. Your temporary
serial number is 016439712.
1291
01:08:45,686 --> 01:08:47,253
You got that?
1292
01:08:47,297 --> 01:08:50,909
Yes, sir. My temporary serial
number is 016439712.
1293
01:08:50,952 --> 01:08:53,041
All right. You fill out
this entrance examination,
1294
01:08:53,085 --> 01:08:54,956
answering all required
questions.
1295
01:08:55,000 --> 01:08:58,569
Then proceed immediately
to be graded,
third floor, Room 305,
1296
01:08:58,612 --> 01:09:00,310
by Sergeant Rose,
1297
01:09:00,353 --> 01:09:02,225
after which you'll report
to section nine,
1298
01:09:02,268 --> 01:09:04,618
personal analysis,
B Unit, Sergeant Brown.
1299
01:09:04,662 --> 01:09:06,142
Is that clear? Yes, sir.
1300
01:09:06,185 --> 01:09:07,578
I fill out the entrance
examination,
1301
01:09:07,621 --> 01:09:09,710
answering all required
questions.
1302
01:09:09,754 --> 01:09:12,931
I then proceed immediately
to be graded, third floor,
Room 305,
1303
01:09:12,974 --> 01:09:15,629
Sergeant Rose. I then report
to section nine,
1304
01:09:15,673 --> 01:09:18,328
personal analysis, Unit B,
Sergeant Brown.
1305
01:09:18,371 --> 01:09:19,372
Right.
1306
01:09:19,938 --> 01:09:20,939
Next.
1307
01:09:22,158 --> 01:09:23,637
Yes, sir. Name?
1308
01:09:23,681 --> 01:09:25,726
Pythias.
Sidney L. Pythias.
1309
01:09:25,770 --> 01:09:28,816
Uh... Pintin...
Peentakiss.
1310
01:09:28,860 --> 01:09:30,731
No, sir, I beg your pardon,
that's Pythias.
1311
01:09:30,775 --> 01:09:33,169
P-Y-T-H-I-A-S, Pythias.
1312
01:09:33,212 --> 01:09:34,561
That's what I said.
"Pinktinius."
1313
01:09:34,605 --> 01:09:35,649
No, there's no "pink."
1314
01:09:35,693 --> 01:09:37,695
No, it's a "Pyth."
1315
01:09:37,738 --> 01:09:41,220
P-Y-T-H-I-A-S is Pythias.
There's no "pink" in it.
1316
01:09:42,569 --> 01:09:44,267
All right, Poontangginius,
your temporary--
1317
01:09:44,310 --> 01:09:46,399
Where'd you get
"Poontangginius"? No.
1318
01:09:46,443 --> 01:09:48,009
No, there's no
"poontan" in it.
1319
01:09:48,053 --> 01:09:49,750
There's no "pink"
and there's not even...
1320
01:09:49,794 --> 01:09:53,101
It's plain "Pyth."
P-Y-T-H-I-A-S, Pythias.
1321
01:09:53,145 --> 01:09:57,976
Your temporary serial
number is 016439713.
1322
01:09:58,019 --> 01:09:59,847
You got that?There's no "poontan" in it.
1323
01:09:59,891 --> 01:10:01,501
No, you said
"Poontanggini." I said--
1324
01:10:01,545 --> 01:10:03,982
No. Just a second,
please excuse me.
1325
01:10:04,025 --> 01:10:06,898
It's not "Poontanahah,"
it's Pythias.
Pyth... Excuse me.
1326
01:10:06,941 --> 01:10:10,336
It's Pyth... P-Y...
P-Y-T-H-I-A-S.
1327
01:10:10,380 --> 01:10:11,598
It's Pythias, Sidney.
1328
01:10:11,642 --> 01:10:13,992
I am not interested
in your name.
1329
01:10:14,035 --> 01:10:15,907
Did you get
that serial number?
1330
01:10:15,950 --> 01:10:19,606
Oh, that... My serial number?
Yeah, 0 and 2 was there...
1331
01:10:19,650 --> 01:10:22,043
Was...? Never mind. Never mind.
1332
01:10:22,087 --> 01:10:23,828
It's written on
the application anyway.
1333
01:10:23,871 --> 01:10:25,830
So I don't need it, do I?
1334
01:10:25,873 --> 01:10:29,007
All right, you're
section five,
so you'll go to Room 619,
1335
01:10:29,050 --> 01:10:32,663
sixth floor, Unit B
and ask
for Sergeant Mizakowski.
1336
01:10:32,706 --> 01:10:34,447
He'll give you an AMR number
and assign you.
1337
01:10:34,491 --> 01:10:35,796
Now, you got that straight?
1338
01:10:35,840 --> 01:10:38,408
Yes, sir.
I go up to the floor
1339
01:10:38,451 --> 01:10:40,671
and it's Room 69.
1340
01:10:40,714 --> 01:10:43,021
And there's a Sergeant Misan,
1341
01:10:43,064 --> 01:10:44,675
and he'll give me
an A and P number.
1342
01:10:45,415 --> 01:10:47,765
Six-nineteen. Room...
1343
01:10:49,201 --> 01:10:51,072
Now you got me mixed up. 619. I got it now.
1344
01:10:51,116 --> 01:10:52,596
Look, it's Mizakowski,
Sergeant...
1345
01:10:52,639 --> 01:10:53,684
I got it now.
Sergeant Mizandhidin.
1346
01:10:54,424 --> 01:10:56,730
Sergeant Mizakowski.
1347
01:10:56,774 --> 01:10:59,690
No, Pythias.
P-Y-T-H-I-A-S is my name.
1348
01:10:59,733 --> 01:11:02,910
I thought I was
Mizankouzin. See?
1349
01:11:02,954 --> 01:11:05,261
Now, just listen
to me, mister. Yes, sir. Yes.
1350
01:11:05,304 --> 01:11:07,698
Just get up there. Get up there. Where, sir?
1351
01:11:07,741 --> 01:11:10,309
Anywhere. I don't care,
anywhere, ad-lib it,
1352
01:11:10,353 --> 01:11:12,877
do anything,
but get out of here!
1353
01:11:12,920 --> 01:11:14,835
Yes, I will.
Do I get my papers?
1354
01:11:14,879 --> 01:11:17,229
Mizanhausen is
on the sixth place
1355
01:11:17,273 --> 01:11:18,883
with the 19th...
Very difficult.
1356
01:11:19,753 --> 01:11:21,102
Next. Yes, sir.
1357
01:11:22,495 --> 01:11:23,844
Name?Mizakowski.
1358
01:11:24,541 --> 01:11:26,238
Chester A. Mizakowski.
1359
01:11:29,676 --> 01:11:32,070
How would you like a punch
in the mouth?
1360
01:11:36,509 --> 01:11:38,294
Say, is this
where they told me?
1361
01:11:40,644 --> 01:11:42,210
They said to come
to the room.
1362
01:11:45,388 --> 01:11:46,389
This here?
1363
01:11:49,000 --> 01:11:52,133
Are you Sergeant Mizenkozen?
1364
01:11:52,177 --> 01:11:54,571
This is your first step
in the examination,
1365
01:11:54,614 --> 01:11:57,269
and you've got 30 seconds
to do it in.
1366
01:11:57,313 --> 01:12:01,055
Oh, the box. Oh, this
is the box with
the squares and the...
1367
01:12:01,099 --> 01:12:03,188
The rectangulars
and "octagoganals."
1368
01:12:03,231 --> 01:12:04,929
I worked with that.
1369
01:12:04,972 --> 01:12:07,453
This is a snap, 30 seconds
to do... It's a different box.
1370
01:12:08,933 --> 01:12:11,718
Left... hut!
1371
01:12:13,894 --> 01:12:15,940
Right face!
1372
01:12:32,826 --> 01:12:34,350
Parade front!
1373
01:12:37,744 --> 01:12:38,702
Left face!
1374
01:12:40,399 --> 01:12:42,053
One step forward!
March!
1375
01:12:44,272 --> 01:12:45,578
Left face!
1376
01:12:47,319 --> 01:12:48,842
Forward march!
1377
01:12:49,452 --> 01:12:50,714
Hut, hut.
1378
01:12:52,672 --> 01:12:53,934
Rear march!
1379
01:12:54,544 --> 01:12:55,632
Rear march!
1380
01:12:56,546 --> 01:12:59,070
Rear march!
Rear march!
1381
01:12:59,810 --> 01:13:01,725
Rear march!
1382
01:13:04,641 --> 01:13:05,468
Halt!
1383
01:13:27,838 --> 01:13:29,970
First of all, be sure
the ink is distributed
1384
01:13:30,014 --> 01:13:31,581
thinly and evenly
on the glass plate.
1385
01:13:32,408 --> 01:13:33,887
Then taking the hand,
1386
01:13:33,931 --> 01:13:36,020
firmly take the thumb,
1387
01:13:36,063 --> 01:13:37,935
or whatever finger
you would use,
1388
01:13:37,978 --> 01:13:41,025
roll it on the glass plate
from left to right.
1389
01:13:41,068 --> 01:13:43,549
Then transfer in the same
manner to the record.
1390
01:13:43,593 --> 01:13:44,550
Now, we'll try it
with you first.
1391
01:13:45,812 --> 01:13:47,074
All right? Well...
1392
01:13:48,598 --> 01:13:50,121
You'd rather
have this hand? Yeah, I'm nervous.
1393
01:13:50,164 --> 01:13:51,383
It doesn't make
any difference.
1394
01:13:51,427 --> 01:13:53,037
The chart has for both hands,
right and left.
1395
01:13:53,080 --> 01:13:54,473
Yeah, but I-- Now, just relax.
1396
01:13:54,517 --> 01:13:56,214
Yeah. Just relax. That's it.
1397
01:13:56,257 --> 01:13:57,520
I never been
fingerprinted before.
1398
01:13:57,563 --> 01:13:59,347
Don't worry about it.
Doesn't hurt.
1399
01:13:59,391 --> 01:14:01,654
Now, just relax.
Now, we'll put it right here--
1400
01:14:04,657 --> 01:14:05,963
I'm sorry, sir, but you see,
I'm nervous.
1401
01:14:06,006 --> 01:14:07,312
Pythias, I said
to relax.
1402
01:14:07,355 --> 01:14:09,270
Yes, I will. Just relax your hand.
1403
01:14:09,314 --> 01:14:10,054
All right. Relax it. All right, now.
1404
01:14:11,359 --> 01:14:13,449
Relax your hand.Well, I'm trying,
1405
01:14:13,492 --> 01:14:15,494
but I'm nervous. I'll tell you what we'll do.
1406
01:14:15,538 --> 01:14:17,844
We will now ink the tips
of the four fingers
1407
01:14:17,888 --> 01:14:19,846
and transfer them
in the same manner.
1408
01:14:19,890 --> 01:14:22,936
All right? Now, relax.
Just relax. That's it.
1409
01:14:25,896 --> 01:14:27,767
Well, it's just that
I was nervous, you see.
1410
01:14:27,811 --> 01:14:29,203
There's nothing-- Well, don't get mad,
1411
01:14:29,247 --> 01:14:31,118
because I was just gonna
say that I'm nervous...
1412
01:14:31,162 --> 01:14:33,294
I didn't mean...
Well, you see...
1413
01:14:34,992 --> 01:14:37,124
What I meant to say
was that because of this...
1414
01:14:37,168 --> 01:14:38,474
Wipe it off. Wipe it off?
1415
01:14:38,517 --> 01:14:41,346
Yes.Ooh.
1416
01:14:41,389 --> 01:14:44,436
Well, I'm awfully sorry, sir,
but I'm nervous, you s--
1417
01:14:46,743 --> 01:14:48,092
Well, a little will help it,
I think.
1418
01:14:48,135 --> 01:14:49,746
Wipe it off.
1419
01:14:49,789 --> 01:14:51,008
Yes, sir. I'm awfully
sorry about...
1420
01:14:53,140 --> 01:14:55,534
Maybe I got a different
rag to get it.
1421
01:15:30,264 --> 01:15:32,310
Today we're covering one
of the most important
1422
01:15:32,353 --> 01:15:35,922
facets of police work:
Self-defense.
1423
01:15:35,966 --> 01:15:40,057
We're very fortunate today in
having with us the Great Togo.
1424
01:15:40,100 --> 01:15:42,929
He has graciously
consented to give us
an actual demonstration
1425
01:15:42,973 --> 01:15:44,975
in the art
of sumo wrestling.
1426
01:15:57,901 --> 01:16:00,077
How do you do, Mr. Togo?Konnichiwa.
1427
01:16:00,120 --> 01:16:01,861
Yeah, konnichiwa.
1428
01:16:01,905 --> 01:16:03,994
Now, then, how would
you like to proceed?
1429
01:16:04,037 --> 01:16:05,125
Doyu hoho o tottara
ii deshoka?
1430
01:16:07,258 --> 01:16:10,174
Kono naka kara dareka
hitori erandara
dodeshoka ne?
1431
01:16:10,217 --> 01:16:12,002
He would like
to pick his opponent.
1432
01:16:12,045 --> 01:16:14,482
Oh, well, fine! Fine.
Come on in. Here are the boys.
1433
01:16:36,940 --> 01:16:38,115
Kono hito
wa dodeshoka ne?
1434
01:16:39,203 --> 01:16:40,160
He prefers
this young man.
1435
01:16:42,032 --> 01:16:43,947
Well, now, wait a minute.
I don't wanna tell Mr. Togo
1436
01:16:43,990 --> 01:16:45,644
his business here,
1437
01:16:45,688 --> 01:16:47,994
but you... You'd better
tell him that I'd better
wrestle him.
1438
01:16:48,038 --> 01:16:50,214
Dame rashii desu yo.
1439
01:16:50,257 --> 01:16:51,911
Kono kata no ho ga keiken ga
arunkara dodesho ka?
1440
01:16:51,955 --> 01:16:52,738
Kono kata
to sumo shitara ne.
1441
01:16:53,783 --> 01:16:54,566
Iya, kono hito
wa dame jya.
1442
01:16:56,133 --> 01:16:58,265
Yappari boku kono
hito no ho ga ii wai.
1443
01:16:58,309 --> 01:17:01,268
He still prefers this man
to wrestle with.
1444
01:17:01,312 --> 01:17:04,489
Well, excuse...
Excuse... I mean...
1445
01:17:04,532 --> 01:17:05,795
I would... I would...
Would you be good enough
1446
01:17:05,838 --> 01:17:06,926
to ask him for me,
please,
1447
01:17:07,535 --> 01:17:09,320
why he wants me?
1448
01:17:09,363 --> 01:17:11,235
Naze kono hito ga
iindesu ka?
1449
01:17:13,585 --> 01:17:15,108
Kono hito wa kore,
chotto Nihonjin
1450
01:17:15,152 --> 01:17:15,892
mitai na kao
shiteru kara ne.
1451
01:17:18,982 --> 01:17:20,113
What did he say?
1452
01:17:20,157 --> 01:17:21,811
Because you look Japanese.
1453
01:17:23,290 --> 01:17:24,509
Oh, because
I look Japanese.
1454
01:17:25,728 --> 01:17:27,077
Huh?
1455
01:17:27,120 --> 01:17:28,165
Oh, well...
1456
01:17:30,689 --> 01:17:32,299
Okay, if that's
the way you want it.
1457
01:17:32,343 --> 01:17:33,997
No, no,
wait a minute, Sidney--
1458
01:17:34,040 --> 01:17:35,563
Well, it's all right, Mike.
He could have chosen anyone,
1459
01:17:35,607 --> 01:17:37,696
but he picked me and...
1460
01:17:37,740 --> 01:17:40,090
That's fine, wonderful,
except I don't think
it's fair.
1461
01:17:40,133 --> 01:17:41,352
No, I don't think
it's fair either.
1462
01:17:41,395 --> 01:17:43,789
No, because I'm taller
and he can get hurt.
1463
01:17:43,833 --> 01:17:46,270
Oh, jeez!
1464
01:17:46,313 --> 01:17:48,272
All right, men! Disperse
around the edge of the mat.
Sit down.
1465
01:17:49,447 --> 01:17:51,492
Mr. Terry.
1466
01:17:51,536 --> 01:17:53,886
All right. Now, then,
Mr. Terry, how do we begin?
1467
01:17:53,930 --> 01:17:54,844
Assume
the first position.
1468
01:17:56,976 --> 01:17:59,022
Ooh!
1469
01:17:59,065 --> 01:18:01,067
Well, he told me to come...
He said to take this place.
1470
01:18:01,111 --> 01:18:02,199
Go!
1471
01:18:02,895 --> 01:18:03,940
Oh.
1472
01:18:03,983 --> 01:18:05,115
Oh.
1473
01:18:07,465 --> 01:18:10,033
Now what? Approach the opponent.
Hakkeyoi.
1474
01:18:29,269 --> 01:18:31,794
Oh, wait a second.
What a scare job!
1475
01:18:31,837 --> 01:18:34,361
Hey, wait. No, wait
one second, please.
1476
01:18:34,405 --> 01:18:38,104
Don't... Don't hurt me.
I mean, let's talk a little.
1477
01:18:38,148 --> 01:18:40,759
What?
1478
01:18:40,803 --> 01:18:42,326
Wait, wait. Friday, if I can
get the car, all right?
1479
01:18:45,111 --> 01:18:46,286
What...? What did
he say then?
1480
01:18:46,330 --> 01:18:48,375
He says,
"Don't be afraid!"
1481
01:18:48,419 --> 01:18:51,335
Yeah, I guess it's silly.
What's there to be--?
1482
01:18:51,378 --> 01:18:54,207
Afraid of? Wait a second.
Don't you help me, that...
1483
01:18:54,251 --> 01:18:56,427
There's plenty to be afraid...
Wait, hold it a second.
1484
01:18:56,470 --> 01:18:59,691
Listen, the "inferityority"
complex with the smoking,
1485
01:18:59,735 --> 01:19:01,693
I think, is what did it.
Sure, you're short,
1486
01:19:01,737 --> 01:19:02,520
but don't take it out on me.
Wait a second!
1487
01:19:03,129 --> 01:19:05,523
Wait a second.
1488
01:19:05,566 --> 01:19:08,047
I can be tough and rough too.
Don't go with scaring me.
1489
01:19:08,091 --> 01:19:10,093
I can scare a little too.
1490
01:19:10,136 --> 01:19:12,095
Ooh!
1491
01:19:12,138 --> 01:19:13,879
Wait! Wait. Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
1492
01:19:13,923 --> 01:19:15,359
I don't need this.
With pain, with hurting,
1493
01:19:15,402 --> 01:19:17,056
with killing and hurts.
1494
01:19:17,100 --> 01:19:18,884
Don't-- I don't need
this at all!
1495
01:19:18,928 --> 01:19:20,668
I shouldn't have volunteered
in the first place...
1496
01:19:20,712 --> 01:19:22,496
No! Oh, no!
1497
01:19:22,540 --> 01:19:25,369
Judo. Oh, that's good.
Oh! That's very...
1498
01:19:25,412 --> 01:19:26,631
Oh, that's good judo.
1499
01:19:26,674 --> 01:19:28,589
He's got me now!
1500
01:19:28,633 --> 01:19:31,418
But try one of these!
I got him. I got him!
1501
01:19:31,462 --> 01:19:33,290
Try and get out of this.
1502
01:19:33,333 --> 01:19:35,074
He's a little heavy,
but I think I got him.
1503
01:19:35,118 --> 01:19:37,120
Look at this,
he'll never get-- Ooh.
1504
01:19:37,163 --> 01:19:38,425
Wait a second, I don't
wanna do nothing no more.
1505
01:19:38,469 --> 01:19:40,427
Don't fight with me.
1506
01:19:40,471 --> 01:19:43,256
Pick somebody else.
Don't do nothing,
it's not gonna-- Ooh!
1507
01:19:43,300 --> 01:19:45,737
I think I'm immune already,
you see, because you hit--
1508
01:19:45,781 --> 01:19:48,566
It's nothing, you see,
I think you can hit me-- I--
1509
01:19:50,655 --> 01:19:51,917
Ooh!
1510
01:19:51,961 --> 01:19:54,572
Oooh! Unh! Oh! Ooh!
1511
01:20:09,674 --> 01:20:11,589
Are you serious? No, I'm only kidding.
1512
01:20:45,101 --> 01:20:46,667
Okay? Oh, yeah.
1513
01:20:46,711 --> 01:20:48,147
You feel better now? Oh, that's fine.
1514
01:20:48,191 --> 01:20:49,366
All right? Yeah, that's much better.
1515
01:20:49,409 --> 01:20:51,020
Mike?Here. Here.
1516
01:20:51,063 --> 01:20:53,849
Oh. Wow, he was
a fat one, wasn't he?
1517
01:20:53,892 --> 01:20:55,589
Yeah, he was.
1518
01:20:55,633 --> 01:20:57,069
You shouldn't
do things like that.
1519
01:20:57,113 --> 01:20:58,331
Boy, you can get
yourself killed that way.
1520
01:20:58,375 --> 01:20:59,898
Well, I had to do it, Mike.
1521
01:20:59,942 --> 01:21:02,205
I knew I was goofing
in some of my classes and...
1522
01:21:02,248 --> 01:21:03,771
Well, I had to do it.
1523
01:21:03,815 --> 01:21:05,730
I didn't want those other guys
to think I was scared.
1524
01:21:05,773 --> 01:21:07,732
Don't worry about
the other guys!
1525
01:21:07,775 --> 01:21:09,429
You're doing fine.
Now, just keep it up.
1526
01:21:09,473 --> 01:21:10,866
Am I really? Yeah!
1527
01:21:10,909 --> 01:21:12,780
I gotta go.
1528
01:21:12,824 --> 01:21:14,695
There's my class
for principles
of local government.
1529
01:21:14,739 --> 01:21:16,175
So I'll see you later, Mike. Yeah, all right,
boy. Goodbye.
1530
01:21:20,832 --> 01:21:21,833
Hi, Johnny.
1531
01:21:23,443 --> 01:21:25,054
Hello, Mike.
Wasn't that Pythias?
1532
01:21:25,097 --> 01:21:26,403
Yeah.
1533
01:21:26,446 --> 01:21:27,578
Say, how's he doing, huh?
1534
01:21:30,711 --> 01:21:32,539
Fair. We might have
to wash him out.
1535
01:21:33,714 --> 01:21:34,715
Oh, no, Johnny.
1536
01:21:36,152 --> 01:21:37,762
Look, Johnny, you
gotta do me a favor.
1537
01:21:37,805 --> 01:21:39,677
He's gotta get
every possible break.
1538
01:21:39,720 --> 01:21:41,766
Mike, we all know how you
feel about the kid, but--
1539
01:21:41,809 --> 01:21:44,029
Please, Johnny!
If it's humanly possible,
1540
01:21:44,073 --> 01:21:45,813
we've gotta
get him through.
1541
01:21:45,857 --> 01:21:48,729
If he isn't police officer
material, Mike, he'll fail.
1542
01:21:48,773 --> 01:21:51,819
We can't show any favoritism,
you know that. Yeah.
1543
01:21:51,863 --> 01:21:54,518
Now, the next phase
of training should
make or break him.
1544
01:21:54,561 --> 01:21:56,694
Starting tomorrow night,
he goes
on actual police patrol
1545
01:21:56,737 --> 01:21:57,913
with a proven
police officer.
1546
01:21:59,131 --> 01:22:00,132
If he gets by that,
he should make it.
1547
01:22:01,525 --> 01:22:03,701
Yeah. Thanks.
1548
01:22:15,147 --> 01:22:16,714
Have something to eat, Mike.
It's delicious.
1549
01:22:19,630 --> 01:22:21,371
Oh, I'm not
very hungry, thanks.
1550
01:22:23,503 --> 01:22:24,374
Sidney trouble?
1551
01:22:25,288 --> 01:22:26,376
Mm-hm.
1552
01:22:28,465 --> 01:22:30,162
Oh, Mike, I hate to seem
impatient with you,
1553
01:22:30,206 --> 01:22:33,209
but you must admit a girl
can get quite bored
1554
01:22:33,252 --> 01:22:35,167
with having her evenings
spoiled by the ghost
of Sidney Pythias.
1555
01:22:35,211 --> 01:22:36,516
Oh, please,
Martha,
1556
01:22:36,560 --> 01:22:37,865
please don't start
that again, now, will you?
1557
01:22:37,909 --> 01:22:39,998
I'm afraid I have
to start it again.
1558
01:22:40,042 --> 01:22:41,565
Unfortunately,
I'm an important part
of this whole situation.
1559
01:22:43,828 --> 01:22:45,961
I like you, Mike.
Very much.
1560
01:22:48,050 --> 01:22:51,662
I think you like me. You know I do.
1561
01:22:51,705 --> 01:22:54,317
And I've got enough ego
to wish I were
1562
01:22:54,360 --> 01:22:55,492
just as important
in your thoughts as Sidney.
1563
01:22:57,059 --> 01:22:58,016
Am I, Mike?
1564
01:22:59,713 --> 01:23:00,845
What are you trying
to do, Martha?
1565
01:23:01,977 --> 01:23:03,630
Box me
into a corner?
1566
01:23:03,674 --> 01:23:05,632
You know how much
that kid means to me.
1567
01:23:05,676 --> 01:23:08,418
Yes, I do. Now I wanna know
how much I mean to you.
1568
01:23:10,768 --> 01:23:12,074
Oh.
1569
01:23:15,512 --> 01:23:17,079
Okay. I'm not gonna
play games with you.
1570
01:23:18,776 --> 01:23:19,777
I like you very much.
1571
01:23:22,040 --> 01:23:25,000
I like you more than
any other woman
I've ever known.
1572
01:23:27,741 --> 01:23:29,004
But I think we better get
something
understood right now.
1573
01:23:30,483 --> 01:23:32,311
You take me,
you take the kid.
1574
01:23:33,356 --> 01:23:34,139
And that's
only the beginning.
1575
01:23:35,662 --> 01:23:37,012
There'll always be other
Sidneys, hundreds of them.
1576
01:23:37,969 --> 01:23:38,839
Kids that need help.
1577
01:23:40,450 --> 01:23:42,843
They'll always be an
important part of my life.
1578
01:23:42,887 --> 01:23:45,542
I see. I'm sort of third
in this league.
1579
01:23:45,585 --> 01:23:47,674
No, I didn't say that-- You don't think you did,
1580
01:23:47,718 --> 01:23:49,285
but to me it's spelled
out quite plainly.
1581
01:23:49,328 --> 01:23:51,417
Third place,
barely in the money.
1582
01:23:51,461 --> 01:23:54,333
I'm sorry, Mike,
but I've got to be a winner.
1583
01:23:54,377 --> 01:23:55,943
Or at least share
first position.
1584
01:24:01,384 --> 01:24:03,081
Mike? Yeah?
1585
01:24:04,996 --> 01:24:06,258
I wanted you
to call me back.
1586
01:24:09,653 --> 01:24:11,046
Would you also want me
to lie to you?
1587
01:24:14,397 --> 01:24:15,441
No.
1588
01:24:16,529 --> 01:24:18,227
No, I wouldn't.
1589
01:24:42,077 --> 01:24:43,687
Yeah.
1590
01:24:43,730 --> 01:24:45,384
Oh, hello, Mike.
This is me, Sidney.
1591
01:24:45,428 --> 01:24:46,951
Listen, Mike...
Oh, excuse me,
1592
01:24:46,994 --> 01:24:48,909
I know that you're over there
with Martha.
1593
01:24:48,953 --> 01:24:51,521
But I'm just working here
on my examinations
1594
01:24:51,564 --> 01:24:54,001
and I'm not doing so good.
Maybe you could help me?
1595
01:24:54,045 --> 01:24:56,700
Sure, sure, sure, kid,
come right on over.
1596
01:24:56,743 --> 01:24:59,311
Oh, I can come over?
Oh, well, thanks a lot.
1597
01:24:59,355 --> 01:25:02,662
You're sure Martha
won't care? No, Sidney.
1598
01:25:02,706 --> 01:25:04,273
Oh, okay. All right,
I'll be right over, Mike.
1599
01:25:04,316 --> 01:25:05,622
Thank you very much.
Goodbye.
1600
01:25:09,104 --> 01:25:10,235
Where you going, Sidney?
1601
01:25:12,846 --> 01:25:14,196
I'm going somewhere.
1602
01:25:16,459 --> 01:25:18,330
Hey, I said,
I have to go somewhere.
1603
01:25:18,374 --> 01:25:20,941
You're sure busy lately,
ain't you, kid?
1604
01:25:20,985 --> 01:25:23,553
What with police
school and stuff.
1605
01:25:23,596 --> 01:25:25,424
Forgetting all about your
old friends, huh, Sidney?
1606
01:25:26,773 --> 01:25:28,384
What's this all about?
What do you guys want?
1607
01:25:28,427 --> 01:25:29,602
We don't want nothing, Sidney.
1608
01:25:31,256 --> 01:25:34,564
We're just trying
to be sociable.
1609
01:25:34,607 --> 01:25:36,827
Thought we'd stop by
and see how you're doing
at the police academy.
1610
01:25:36,870 --> 01:25:38,568
Gonna be a cop,
huh, Sidney?
1611
01:25:39,786 --> 01:25:42,746
Yeah, I'm gonna be a cop.
If they'll have me.
1612
01:25:42,789 --> 01:25:44,574
Oh, man, what
a snap it's gonna be
1613
01:25:44,617 --> 01:25:46,880
for guys like us
if they load the force
1614
01:25:46,924 --> 01:25:49,622
with goofs like you. Now, wait a minute--
1615
01:25:49,666 --> 01:25:50,493
You're really going ahead
with this thing, huh, kid?
1616
01:25:52,495 --> 01:25:54,236
Yes, I'm going ahead
with it.
1617
01:25:54,279 --> 01:25:56,542
You gotta be nuts.
1618
01:25:56,586 --> 01:25:58,936
What's the matter with you,
you wanna be legit?
1619
01:25:58,979 --> 01:26:00,851
Yeah, I wanna be legit.
What's so strange about that?
1620
01:26:02,200 --> 01:26:03,549
Don't you know
every cop's a sucker?
1621
01:26:03,593 --> 01:26:05,856
He's a chump, man.
1622
01:26:05,899 --> 01:26:08,075
He don't make enough loot
to keep him in cigarettes.
1623
01:26:08,119 --> 01:26:11,427
And he's a patsy,
a 14-karat patsy
for every sharpie in town.
1624
01:26:12,471 --> 01:26:13,429
Oh, is that so? Yeah.
1625
01:26:14,778 --> 01:26:16,388
Well, let me tel l you
something, Mr. Smart-Aleck.
1626
01:26:18,912 --> 01:26:23,482
A police officer happens
to have the respect
of decent people,
1627
01:26:23,526 --> 01:26:25,180
which eliminates you
and your friends, Monk.
1628
01:26:26,137 --> 01:26:27,269
Let him alone!
1629
01:26:29,880 --> 01:26:31,142
Come on, Art.
Let him alone.Why?
1630
01:26:31,186 --> 01:26:32,143
Get out of here!
1631
01:26:47,767 --> 01:26:49,160
Maybe I got you
figured all wrong, huh?
1632
01:26:51,293 --> 01:26:52,685
What I mean is,
maybe you're smarter than
I figured you were.
1633
01:26:53,643 --> 01:26:54,513
How do you mean?
1634
01:26:55,340 --> 01:26:56,298
The angle.
1635
01:26:57,908 --> 01:26:59,823
What angle? Well, yours.
1636
01:27:00,737 --> 01:27:01,607
You gotta have one.
1637
01:27:02,913 --> 01:27:05,002
Look, Sidney, nobody,
I mean nobody,
1638
01:27:05,045 --> 01:27:06,569
does nothing
without an angle.
1639
01:27:06,612 --> 01:27:08,484
If you got something taped,
let me in on it,
1640
01:27:08,527 --> 01:27:09,267
maybe I can make
it easier for you.
1641
01:27:11,356 --> 01:27:13,924
You're crazy, Monk.I'm what?
1642
01:27:13,967 --> 01:27:16,492
You're nutty. You gotta
be a little nutty.
1643
01:27:16,535 --> 01:27:18,276
Because you figure
that the whole world...
1644
01:27:18,320 --> 01:27:20,583
The whole world
is built sideways
1645
01:27:20,626 --> 01:27:23,673
and that everybody's
looking to put a finger
on everybody else.
1646
01:27:23,716 --> 01:27:26,850
And that don't add up, huh? No, that don't add up, Monk.
1647
01:27:26,893 --> 01:27:28,547
All right, fat mouth,
why don't you show me
where I'm wrong.
1648
01:27:30,636 --> 01:27:31,985
Maybe you're
the perfect example, huh?
1649
01:27:33,422 --> 01:27:35,511
A janitor making
60 stinking bucks a month
1650
01:27:35,554 --> 01:27:36,686
to wrestle garbage
people throw at you.
1651
01:27:38,035 --> 01:27:39,732
The same people
that laugh at you,
1652
01:27:39,776 --> 01:27:41,691
spit at you,
tab you as an idiot!
1653
01:27:41,734 --> 01:27:43,388
You're a fine one
to tell me that
1654
01:27:43,432 --> 01:27:44,259
there's a shining light
somewhere!
1655
01:27:45,564 --> 01:27:48,132
Yeah? Well, I'm gonna--
1656
01:27:48,175 --> 01:27:49,786
You're gonna nothing.
You're gonna wind up
just like me,
1657
01:27:49,829 --> 01:27:51,135
kicking and scratching
every inch of the way!
1658
01:27:53,746 --> 01:27:56,009
Look, Sidney, wise up.
1659
01:27:56,053 --> 01:27:58,969
There ain't no shortcuts.
Man, you gotta draw blood!
1660
01:27:59,839 --> 01:28:00,623
Well, you're wrong, Monk.
1661
01:28:01,754 --> 01:28:04,191
You're all wrong, see?
1662
01:28:04,235 --> 01:28:05,497
Because nobody's
gotta get hurt.
1663
01:28:06,803 --> 01:28:08,195
See, I used to be
like you, Monk,
1664
01:28:09,327 --> 01:28:10,241
and I got lucky.
1665
01:28:11,590 --> 01:28:13,070
See, because I found out
I was wrong.
1666
01:28:14,680 --> 01:28:17,204
That nobody's looking
to break your back.
1667
01:28:17,248 --> 01:28:18,902
There's an awful lot of nice
people in this world, Monk,
1668
01:28:20,817 --> 01:28:21,905
and I just wanna be
one of them.
1669
01:28:26,170 --> 01:28:27,258
Yeah.
1670
01:28:28,694 --> 01:28:30,566
Well, you listen
to me, Sidney,
1671
01:28:30,609 --> 01:28:31,480
and you listen hard.
1672
01:28:32,959 --> 01:28:34,309
You ain't got
a chance.
1673
01:28:35,875 --> 01:28:38,138
Because guys like you
and me are born losers
1674
01:28:39,488 --> 01:28:40,532
and we gotta
come up empty.
1675
01:28:41,838 --> 01:28:43,579
There ain't
no other way.
1676
01:28:45,755 --> 01:28:46,799
But I got a clue
for you.
1677
01:28:48,061 --> 01:28:50,237
Before I go under,
1678
01:28:50,281 --> 01:28:52,022
I'm gonna make
a lot of noise.
1679
01:28:59,290 --> 01:29:02,685
Monk. Monk, why didn't you
let me belt that jerk?
1680
01:29:02,728 --> 01:29:04,556
I mean, what'd you
stop me for? I got confused.
1681
01:29:05,905 --> 01:29:06,732
Confused? Yeah.
1682
01:29:08,212 --> 01:29:09,169
He made sense.
1683
01:29:09,996 --> 01:29:11,346
Let's get out of here.
1684
01:29:13,826 --> 01:29:15,611
Now, this phase
in your training
1685
01:29:15,654 --> 01:29:18,570
is probably
the most important one.
1686
01:29:18,614 --> 01:29:20,529
It's a chance for you
to prove how you'll function
1687
01:29:20,572 --> 01:29:23,662
under typical circumstances
as a police officer.
1688
01:29:23,706 --> 01:29:25,490
Now, each one of you cadets
will be paired off
1689
01:29:25,534 --> 01:29:27,144
with a tried
police officer,
1690
01:29:27,187 --> 01:29:28,624
who will judge you
on your performance
1691
01:29:28,667 --> 01:29:30,713
during this trial period.
1692
01:29:30,756 --> 01:29:33,019
You've now had 12 full weeks
of police training,
1693
01:29:34,456 --> 01:29:36,545
but should
an emergency arise,
1694
01:29:36,588 --> 01:29:39,199
you're to make
no decisions on your own.
1695
01:29:39,243 --> 01:29:41,114
But you're to look to him
for whatever solution
is necessary.
1696
01:29:42,899 --> 01:29:47,077
And remember this,
you're under arms.
1697
01:29:47,120 --> 01:29:50,254
Now, don't touch that
gun unless you intend
to shoot somebody.
1698
01:29:50,297 --> 01:29:53,344
And if you do, you'd better
have a sound reason.
1699
01:29:55,825 --> 01:29:57,261
Dismissed.
1700
01:29:59,611 --> 01:30:01,657
Well, Mike,
I'm all excited.
1701
01:30:01,700 --> 01:30:03,876
I wonder what part
of town we'll get.
1702
01:30:03,920 --> 01:30:05,182
Well, it'll look
familiar to you, kid.
1703
01:30:06,531 --> 01:30:07,358
It's your neighborhood.
1704
01:30:08,794 --> 01:30:10,143
My...?
1705
01:30:19,936 --> 01:30:21,546
Good evening, sir. Hello, officer.
1706
01:30:26,246 --> 01:30:27,900
Hi, officer. Good evening, ma'am.
1707
01:30:29,859 --> 01:30:30,686
Ooh.
1708
01:30:34,951 --> 01:30:36,518
Nice night. Get out of here!
1709
01:30:38,476 --> 01:30:39,869
It happens.
1710
01:30:42,088 --> 01:30:43,829
It is a nice evening,
though, isn't it?
1711
01:30:43,873 --> 01:30:45,527
Yeah, it's nice and quiet. Don't knock it, boy.
1712
01:30:45,570 --> 01:30:47,659
Every day without
trouble is a plus.
1713
01:30:47,703 --> 01:30:48,921
I know that, Mike,
but I was kind of
looking forward
1714
01:30:48,965 --> 01:30:50,270
to a little action tonight.
1715
01:30:50,314 --> 01:30:51,707
Yeah? WOMAN: Komm, schnell!
1716
01:30:51,750 --> 01:30:54,057
Officer, komm schnell! Was ist?
1717
01:30:57,147 --> 01:30:58,627
All right. Come on, Sidney,
we'd better go.
1718
01:31:02,500 --> 01:31:03,936
Why, she's gonna
have a baby!
1719
01:31:03,980 --> 01:31:05,329
Why don't you take her
to the hospital.
1720
01:31:05,372 --> 01:31:06,678
Mama, shh.
Mama, shh, shh, shh.
1721
01:31:06,722 --> 01:31:08,245
Where's the telephone?
I'll call the ambulance,
1722
01:31:08,288 --> 01:31:10,029
take her to the hospital.
The telephone!
1723
01:31:10,073 --> 01:31:11,291
Komm rein.
Ich werd's zeigen.
1724
01:31:14,164 --> 01:31:16,253
Where you going?
You stay here!
1725
01:31:16,296 --> 01:31:18,037
Me?! Yeah, you!
1726
01:31:18,081 --> 01:31:19,299
Wait a minute.
What if the baby...?
1727
01:31:19,343 --> 01:31:20,823
Relax. She's got
plenty of time.
1728
01:31:20,866 --> 01:31:21,867
Now, don't worry
about it, huh?
1729
01:31:30,006 --> 01:31:31,442
Lady, don't
do nothing.
1730
01:31:34,097 --> 01:31:37,492
I mean, ma'am, they went
to get a hospital
1731
01:31:37,535 --> 01:31:39,102
to come here to take you
to the ambulance, you see.
1732
01:31:39,711 --> 01:31:41,844
So, uh, relax.
1733
01:31:46,370 --> 01:31:47,806
Well, just
take it easy, ma'am.
1734
01:31:49,242 --> 01:31:52,115
What's...?
Don't do nothing now.
1735
01:31:52,158 --> 01:31:54,421
Just... Could you wait
just a few minutes?
1736
01:31:54,465 --> 01:31:57,381
How long does it take
to make a phone call, lady?
1737
01:31:58,034 --> 01:31:58,948
You see, because...
1738
01:32:00,297 --> 01:32:01,820
What is it?
1739
01:32:03,648 --> 01:32:05,955
Oh, wait, please.
Just do me a favor,
would you?
1740
01:32:05,998 --> 01:32:08,479
Personal.
Wait, because...
1741
01:32:08,523 --> 01:32:10,307
They'll be right back.Noo!
1742
01:32:10,350 --> 01:32:12,657
Take your mind off it
for a second, lady.
1743
01:32:12,701 --> 01:32:15,617
Maybe if you just
took your mind off it,
you'll feel better.
1744
01:32:15,660 --> 01:32:18,010
Like I play baseball.
You like baseball?
1745
01:32:18,054 --> 01:32:19,664
Once, I was
playing baseball...
1746
01:32:19,708 --> 01:32:21,448
Just listen to this.
1747
01:32:21,492 --> 01:32:23,799
Oh, please wait!
They'll be back--
It'll only--
1748
01:32:23,842 --> 01:32:26,323
Oh, lady. Lady, wait!
1749
01:32:27,542 --> 01:32:29,805
Please, lady, wait!
I'm highly emotional.
1750
01:32:31,894 --> 01:32:33,591
Ooh! Wait!
1751
01:32:35,027 --> 01:32:36,507
What's the matter
with you guys?
1752
01:32:36,551 --> 01:32:37,552
Does it take an hour
to get here?
1753
01:32:39,902 --> 01:32:40,772
Come on, come on.
1754
01:32:42,078 --> 01:32:43,732
Here, boys.
Ma'am, is--?
1755
01:32:46,038 --> 01:32:47,823
Sidney, wha--?
1756
01:32:47,866 --> 01:32:51,653
Oh. Oh. Look, Mike,
it's a boy baby!
1757
01:32:52,828 --> 01:32:54,177
And she wants
to name him Sidney!
1758
01:32:54,786 --> 01:32:55,657
Ain't that nice?
1759
01:32:57,484 --> 01:32:58,442
It sure is.
1760
01:32:59,399 --> 01:33:01,010
It sure is.
1761
01:33:10,846 --> 01:33:13,457
POLICE RADIO:
Car 119. Car 119.
1762
01:33:13,500 --> 01:33:16,634
Go to 16th Street alley
entrance. Illegal entry.
1763
01:33:16,678 --> 01:33:18,810
Isn't that us?That's us, boy.
1764
01:33:18,854 --> 01:33:20,203
Here's the action
you asked for.
1765
01:33:23,510 --> 01:33:24,729
May be real trouble
this time, huh, Mike?
1766
01:33:25,556 --> 01:33:26,949
Yeah, it could be, kid.
1767
01:34:29,054 --> 01:34:30,273
Aah!
1768
01:34:34,146 --> 01:34:35,147
Easy, boy, easy!
1769
01:34:36,235 --> 01:34:38,324
It's only
a flesh wound.
1770
01:34:38,368 --> 01:34:39,891
Now, who in the devil
shot him?
That wasn't necessary.
1771
01:34:42,241 --> 01:34:44,591
You didn't have
to shoot me.
1772
01:34:44,635 --> 01:34:47,159
You didn't
have to shoot me. Take it easy, son.
1773
01:34:47,203 --> 01:34:48,117
Call an ambulance.
1774
01:34:49,553 --> 01:34:51,468
Let me have your gun.
Yes, sir.
1775
01:34:52,817 --> 01:34:54,166
Yours.
1776
01:34:56,342 --> 01:34:57,474
All right, Carl.
Let me see yours.
1777
01:34:59,345 --> 01:35:01,086
Well, where is it?
I don't know, sir.
1778
01:35:01,130 --> 01:35:02,131
I had--
1779
01:35:03,045 --> 01:35:03,785
That it? Yes, sir.
1780
01:35:06,483 --> 01:35:08,485
You've got some explaining
to do, young fella.
1781
01:35:08,528 --> 01:35:10,574
Now, wait a minute,
sergeant.He did it, sarge.
1782
01:35:10,617 --> 01:35:11,836
He shot me, I saw him!
1783
01:35:13,185 --> 01:35:15,231
That ain't true.
You're lying, Artie!
1784
01:35:15,274 --> 01:35:17,059
I ain't lying!
You shot me, copper!
1785
01:35:19,409 --> 01:35:20,932
I didn't, Mike. I didn't.
He's lying.
1786
01:35:22,194 --> 01:35:23,195
Honest.
1787
01:35:24,066 --> 01:35:25,763
I didn't do it.
1788
01:35:25,807 --> 01:35:28,157
He assigned to you? Yes, sir.
1789
01:35:28,200 --> 01:35:30,115
Okay. Take him to
Captain Riley's office.
1790
01:35:30,159 --> 01:35:31,900
Carl, stay with this boy
till the ambulance comes.
1791
01:35:31,943 --> 01:35:33,728
You, come with me.
1792
01:35:35,817 --> 01:35:38,080
Artie, Artie, tell them
I didn't shoot you.
1793
01:35:38,123 --> 01:35:41,213
Yes, you did.
You shot me, copper.
1794
01:35:41,257 --> 01:35:43,781
You're lying, Artie. I ain't lying.
1795
01:35:43,825 --> 01:35:46,175
Artie, you're lying.I ain't lying. You shot me!
1796
01:35:55,750 --> 01:35:57,142
Sidney...
1797
01:36:04,236 --> 01:36:05,890
You're a loser, Sidney!
1798
01:36:30,959 --> 01:36:32,482
Hello, Mike. Yeah.
1799
01:36:33,352 --> 01:36:34,179
I heard about Sidney.
1800
01:36:35,398 --> 01:36:37,487
You should feel
real good.
1801
01:36:37,530 --> 01:36:40,664
He's in trouble.
Bad trouble. I feel just delighted, Mike.
1802
01:36:40,707 --> 01:36:42,405
So much so I came
here to volunteer
1803
01:36:42,448 --> 01:36:43,406
my services
as his attorney.
1804
01:36:48,628 --> 01:36:50,152
I'm sorry.
1805
01:36:50,195 --> 01:36:51,501
All I want from you,
Officer Damon,
1806
01:36:51,544 --> 01:36:52,415
are the facts on what
happened last night.
1807
01:36:53,198 --> 01:36:55,113
Okay.
1808
01:36:55,157 --> 01:36:56,506
Fact number one,
it was an accident.
1809
01:36:56,549 --> 01:36:58,769
Yes. Fact number two...
1810
01:37:01,380 --> 01:37:03,513
I can't let that kid
ruin his life.
1811
01:37:03,556 --> 01:37:06,777
But if he shot the boy... He didn't. I did.
1812
01:37:06,821 --> 01:37:07,734
You? Yeah.
1813
01:37:08,866 --> 01:37:10,302
The boys were involved
in a heist.
1814
01:37:10,346 --> 01:37:12,217
They were coming
down the stairs,
we came in the alley.
1815
01:37:12,261 --> 01:37:13,088
We met in the--
1816
01:37:14,480 --> 01:37:17,005
You're not listening. No, because you're lying.
1817
01:37:17,048 --> 01:37:19,964
You're a liar, Mike Damon.
A wonderfully loyal liar.
1818
01:37:21,574 --> 01:37:23,315
Captain Riley, sir,
what happened?
1819
01:37:23,359 --> 01:37:25,448
Well, the boy signed
a statement
identifying Sidney.
1820
01:37:25,491 --> 01:37:26,275
We're going to
have to book him.
1821
01:37:28,016 --> 01:37:30,061
Captain Riley...
1822
01:37:30,105 --> 01:37:32,498
Look, captain, sir,
Sidney did not
shoot that boy.
1823
01:37:32,542 --> 01:37:34,674
That's what Sidney says,
that's what you say.
1824
01:37:34,718 --> 01:37:36,720
Okay, I'll play along.
Who did?
1825
01:37:36,763 --> 01:37:38,113
Nobody did.
1826
01:37:42,726 --> 01:37:44,293
I saw his gun fall out
of his holster,
1827
01:37:44,336 --> 01:37:45,511
and I ran over
and picked it up.
1828
01:37:48,950 --> 01:37:50,386
You ain't gonna
buy this,
1829
01:37:50,429 --> 01:37:51,387
but all I wanted
to do was steal it.
1830
01:37:52,692 --> 01:37:54,042
It's worth about 20 bucks,
you know?
1831
01:37:55,826 --> 01:37:58,133
Anyway, some guy belted me
and the gun flew
out of my hand
1832
01:37:58,176 --> 01:37:58,960
and landed on the street.
1833
01:38:01,049 --> 01:38:03,138
Went off and that's
how Artie got hit.
1834
01:38:04,835 --> 01:38:06,881
Now, don't ask me
why I came here.
1835
01:38:06,924 --> 01:38:08,099
I ain't bright enough
to answer that.
1836
01:38:09,274 --> 01:38:10,449
Except...
1837
01:38:12,843 --> 01:38:14,932
Just because I'm a stupe,
that ain't no reason
1838
01:38:14,976 --> 01:38:16,499
for Sidney not to climb out
of the garbage I'm buried in.
1839
01:38:19,415 --> 01:38:20,938
He didn't shoot him.
1840
01:38:20,982 --> 01:38:23,114
RILEY: Well, Artie said--Artie's lying.
1841
01:38:23,158 --> 01:38:24,463
Give me 30 seconds with him
and I'll prove it to you.
1842
01:38:27,379 --> 01:38:28,163
Gee, thanks
a lot, Monk.
1843
01:38:28,946 --> 01:38:30,165
Don't thank me.
1844
01:38:31,383 --> 01:38:32,950
Captain,
any time you're ready,
1845
01:38:32,994 --> 01:38:34,299
I'll have a little
talk with Artie
1846
01:38:34,343 --> 01:38:35,692
and sign a statement, huh?Fine, Monk.
1847
01:38:43,265 --> 01:38:44,135
Oh, Captain Riley, sir.
1848
01:38:46,703 --> 01:38:50,576
Captain, I was wondering about
Sidney's progress report.
1849
01:38:50,620 --> 01:38:52,796
This incident won't have
any effect on it, will it?
1850
01:38:52,839 --> 01:38:55,059
Are you asking me
if I'm recommending
his appointment
1851
01:38:55,103 --> 01:38:56,539
as a police officer? Yes, sir.
1852
01:38:56,582 --> 01:38:58,280
Yes, I'm
recommending him!
1853
01:39:00,760 --> 01:39:02,371
I think you'll make
a fine officer.
1854
01:39:04,112 --> 01:39:04,808
Thank you,
Captain Riley, sir!
1855
01:39:06,462 --> 01:39:08,943
Congratulations, boy! Thank you, Mike.
1856
01:39:08,986 --> 01:39:10,466
And thank you very much
for all your help.
1857
01:39:10,509 --> 01:39:11,902
It was my pleasure.
1858
01:39:11,946 --> 01:39:13,295
Well, I better
go call Patricia.
1859
01:39:13,338 --> 01:39:14,296
She's anxiously waiting. Yeah.
1860
01:39:15,819 --> 01:39:17,690
Thank you, Miss Henshaw.
Thank you very much.
1861
01:39:17,734 --> 01:39:19,736
I know why you came down
and I appreciate it.
1862
01:39:19,779 --> 01:39:21,216
You're welcome, Sidney,
and good luck.
1863
01:39:21,259 --> 01:39:22,434
Thank you, Miss Henshaw.
1864
01:39:25,785 --> 01:39:26,743
Oh, uh...
1865
01:39:28,092 --> 01:39:29,006
Mike, uh...
1866
01:39:30,486 --> 01:39:31,835
Monk's not gonna be
in big trouble, is he?
1867
01:39:33,489 --> 01:39:35,447
No, no, Sidney.
I think everything
will be all right.
1868
01:39:35,491 --> 01:39:37,014
Oh, good!
Okay. Goodbye.
1869
01:39:37,058 --> 01:39:37,972
Goodbye, Sidney.
1870
01:39:39,277 --> 01:39:40,235
Is that a boy?
1871
01:39:41,627 --> 01:39:42,759
Is that a boy.
1872
01:39:46,850 --> 01:39:48,069
Oh, Sidney,
you look wonderful.
1873
01:39:49,157 --> 01:39:51,420
Tall and handsome and...
1874
01:39:51,463 --> 01:39:54,379
Respected? Respected.
1875
01:39:54,423 --> 01:39:56,164
I'm so proud of you. Thank you.
1876
01:39:57,556 --> 01:40:00,255
Well, I have to go to work.
Would you sit here?
1877
01:40:01,343 --> 01:40:03,432
Yes, sir. Right here.
1878
01:40:12,093 --> 01:40:12,963
Well, gentlemen,
1879
01:40:14,921 --> 01:40:16,227
I suppose you're wondering
why I've asked you here.
1880
01:40:17,924 --> 01:40:18,969
Well, uh...
1881
01:40:19,883 --> 01:40:20,797
let's put it this way.
1882
01:40:22,712 --> 01:40:23,626
Your problems...
1883
01:40:25,106 --> 01:40:27,108
are my problems.
1884
01:40:29,545 --> 01:40:30,807
Artie,
1885
01:40:32,722 --> 01:40:34,593
tell me something
about yourself.
1886
01:40:36,552 --> 01:40:37,553
What are you, and...
1887
01:40:39,685 --> 01:40:40,991
...what do you wanna be?
131281
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