Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,579 --> 00:00:04,581
I can't believe it's
our ten-year reunion.
2
00:00:04,681 --> 00:00:05,982
And can I just say...
3
00:00:06,083 --> 00:00:07,551
we turned out hot.
4
00:00:07,651 --> 00:00:10,254
All right, which is better?
5
00:00:10,354 --> 00:00:12,022
Like this?
6
00:00:12,123 --> 00:00:13,023
FREDDY: Hmm.
7
00:00:13,124 --> 00:00:15,592
Or... like this?
8
00:00:16,593 --> 00:00:18,495
I mean, definitely number two.
9
00:00:19,263 --> 00:00:22,032
You are gonna look so good
in the class photo, but...
10
00:00:22,133 --> 00:00:26,470
can I just ask lovingly,
and with my full support,
11
00:00:26,570 --> 00:00:28,205
why are you wearing
a mortarboard?
12
00:00:28,305 --> 00:00:29,806
Oh, I graduated remotely
13
00:00:29,906 --> 00:00:32,342
because I was in Italy
for most of senior year.
14
00:00:32,443 --> 00:00:33,777
So I missed the class photo
15
00:00:33,877 --> 00:00:36,280
where everybody got
to wear this cool hat.
16
00:00:36,380 --> 00:00:38,215
I also missed prom,
the senior prank,
17
00:00:38,315 --> 00:00:40,351
and "Cups" by Anna Kendrick.
18
00:00:40,451 --> 00:00:42,419
That was a big moment.
19
00:00:43,387 --> 00:00:45,489
But being in the class photo
20
00:00:45,589 --> 00:00:48,425
is the one thing I can
make up for tonight.
21
00:00:49,025 --> 00:00:52,396
Are you ready to rock
Ridgeway for one last ride?
22
00:00:52,496 --> 00:00:54,865
Oh, vroom vroom.
23
00:00:56,500 --> 00:00:59,303
? ?
24
00:00:59,403 --> 00:01:01,905
(deep inhale, sigh)
25
00:01:02,005 --> 00:01:04,341
The smell of feet sweat,
off-brand sports drink,
26
00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:07,644
and pretending to have your
period to get out of gym.
27
00:01:08,579 --> 00:01:10,481
I'm so excited to
reconnect with everyone.
28
00:01:10,581 --> 00:01:11,958
You know, after you
and Sam took off,
29
00:01:11,982 --> 00:01:14,017
I was a bit of a
social butterfly.
30
00:01:14,117 --> 00:01:15,652
It's no big deal, though.
31
00:01:15,752 --> 00:01:18,755
It's not like I was the coolest,
most popular guy in school.
32
00:01:18,855 --> 00:01:22,326
Aw. No one was
saying that, sweetie.
33
00:01:22,426 --> 00:01:25,562
Oh, snap, it's the coolest,
most popular guy in school.
34
00:01:25,662 --> 00:01:28,765
You'd better stop it.
35
00:01:28,865 --> 00:01:30,834
Rip-off Rodney says
you're cool, huh?
36
00:01:30,933 --> 00:01:32,403
How much did you
pay him to say that?
37
00:01:32,503 --> 00:01:34,605
Nothing. First
compliment's free.
38
00:01:34,705 --> 00:01:36,507
But the next one's
gonna cost you.
39
00:01:37,207 --> 00:01:38,775
I'm sorry, did you even go here?
40
00:01:38,875 --> 00:01:41,745
What? Rodney, it's me, Carly.
41
00:01:41,844 --> 00:01:44,123
You sold me that cell phone
that was actually an old beeper
42
00:01:44,147 --> 00:01:46,417
and then that beeper that was
actually an old calculator.
43
00:01:47,016 --> 00:01:49,586
I went here from
grades K through 11.
44
00:01:49,686 --> 00:01:50,987
That explains it.
45
00:01:51,087 --> 00:01:53,123
Anything before senior
year is irrelevant.
46
00:01:54,391 --> 00:01:55,659
? I know ?
47
00:01:55,759 --> 00:01:57,294
? You see ?
48
00:01:57,394 --> 00:01:59,496
? Somehow the world
will change for me ?
49
00:01:59,596 --> 00:02:02,833
? And be so wonderful ?
50
00:02:02,933 --> 00:02:06,503
? So wake up the
members of my nation ?
51
00:02:06,603 --> 00:02:08,504
? It's your time to be ?
52
00:02:08,605 --> 00:02:11,342
? There's no chance
unless you take one ?
53
00:02:11,442 --> 00:02:13,944
? And the time to see
the brighter side ?
54
00:02:14,044 --> 00:02:17,681
? Of every situation ?
55
00:02:17,781 --> 00:02:19,450
? Some things are meant to be ?
56
00:02:19,550 --> 00:02:24,421
? So give your best and
leave the rest to me. ?
57
00:02:25,422 --> 00:02:28,825
Okay, even if everything before
senior year is irrelevant,
58
00:02:28,925 --> 00:02:30,261
tonight's what matters, right?
59
00:02:30,361 --> 00:02:32,663
- Oh! God, why?
- Oh, my God!
60
00:02:32,763 --> 00:02:34,631
It's me, Magic Malika!
61
00:02:34,731 --> 00:02:36,967
Freddie "The Kingpin" Benson?
62
00:02:37,067 --> 00:02:38,502
Kingpin?
63
00:02:38,602 --> 00:02:40,680
Did you, like, break into the
bowling alley or something?
64
00:02:40,704 --> 00:02:42,306
Yeah. We did.
65
00:02:42,406 --> 00:02:45,141
Jiminy Christmas. That's cool.
66
00:02:45,242 --> 00:02:49,746
Get this: we bowled
in our street shoes.
67
00:02:51,047 --> 00:02:52,816
- Uh. Uh.
- Uh. Uh.
68
00:02:52,916 --> 00:02:55,619
- Sneaker sisters.
- Sneaker sisters.
69
00:02:55,719 --> 00:02:57,020
(laughter)
70
00:02:57,120 --> 00:02:59,490
Remember junior year
when I was still here
71
00:02:59,590 --> 00:03:01,024
and we took the SATs?
72
00:03:01,124 --> 00:03:04,261
Wow, the SATs are considered
culturally offensive.
73
00:03:04,361 --> 00:03:06,597
Maybe we should go
take the class photo
74
00:03:06,697 --> 00:03:08,231
before that gets canceled, too.
75
00:03:08,332 --> 00:03:10,166
They're taking a class photo?
76
00:03:10,267 --> 00:03:13,236
I should go make these
blackheads... disappear.
77
00:03:15,171 --> 00:03:17,007
(laughing)
78
00:03:17,107 --> 00:03:22,613
Chugga chugga choo choo!
This is how we do, do!
79
00:03:22,713 --> 00:03:25,582
Barry! Toby! My training bros!
80
00:03:25,682 --> 00:03:28,852
TOGETHER: Chugga chugga chugga
chugga chugga chugga chugga...
81
00:03:28,952 --> 00:03:31,288
Oh, right. Your
model train club.
82
00:03:31,388 --> 00:03:32,423
- Yeah.
- Hi.
83
00:03:32,523 --> 00:03:33,524
Oh, hey, Carly.
84
00:03:33,624 --> 00:03:35,225
Freddie. What's up, F-Train?
85
00:03:35,326 --> 00:03:38,461
F-Train? Another nickname
I've never heard.
86
00:03:38,562 --> 00:03:42,299
Remember when we rode the
rails like westward vagabonds?
87
00:03:42,399 --> 00:03:45,068
Ah, I can't believe we
drank out of paper bags.
88
00:03:45,168 --> 00:03:49,440
We were so cool. No one
could see our O'Doul's.
89
00:03:49,540 --> 00:03:52,909
Guys. Should we put our drinks
in brown paper bags right now
90
00:03:53,009 --> 00:03:56,313
and go chug 'em in the
janitor's closet like dirtbags?
91
00:03:56,413 --> 00:03:58,782
We can even leave Janitor
Mike a funny note.
92
00:03:58,882 --> 00:04:02,886
He, um... died senior year.
93
00:04:03,654 --> 00:04:05,255
In that closet.
94
00:04:05,356 --> 00:04:06,823
R.I.P. Big Mike.
95
00:04:11,027 --> 00:04:13,129
Hey, there's my
favorite volunteer.
96
00:04:13,229 --> 00:04:14,164
Hey, Dad.
97
00:04:14,264 --> 00:04:15,432
The caterers just quit.
98
00:04:15,532 --> 00:04:17,368
Something about a
salmonella outbreak.
99
00:04:17,468 --> 00:04:18,735
Chicken skewer?
100
00:04:18,835 --> 00:04:20,336
TOBY: "Dad"?
101
00:04:20,437 --> 00:04:22,406
Is this Little F-Train?
102
00:04:22,506 --> 00:04:25,175
No, this is Millicent.
103
00:04:26,276 --> 00:04:29,245
If you guys are just
handing out nicknames,
104
00:04:29,346 --> 00:04:31,081
maybe I could get one?
105
00:04:31,181 --> 00:04:34,351
May I suggest Mortarboard Mama?
106
00:04:34,451 --> 00:04:36,487
Uh, CarlyWuzHere?
107
00:04:36,587 --> 00:04:38,455
- CamGirl69?
- Uh...
108
00:04:38,555 --> 00:04:40,924
It's my favorite number because
it looks like a yin-yang.
109
00:04:42,426 --> 00:04:43,860
? ?
110
00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:46,329
Help yourself to snacks.
Here are your drink tickets.
111
00:04:46,430 --> 00:04:49,332
Your kids are in good hands,
unless someone gets hurt.
112
00:04:49,433 --> 00:04:51,702
I don't do well with blood.
113
00:04:53,670 --> 00:04:55,372
Nope, I don't want
to be on the news.
114
00:04:55,472 --> 00:04:56,873
SPENCER: Wait! Harper! Harper!
115
00:04:56,973 --> 00:05:00,310
I want you to meet my kids!
116
00:05:02,012 --> 00:05:05,516
Please tell me this isn't
a Nick Cannon situation.
117
00:05:05,616 --> 00:05:06,917
Of course not.
118
00:05:07,017 --> 00:05:09,786
I don't know any
of their mothers.
119
00:05:09,886 --> 00:05:12,222
These are my Spoppers
and Spopettes.
120
00:05:12,322 --> 00:05:14,024
See, I've been
donating my seed...
121
00:05:14,124 --> 00:05:15,025
Ugh.
122
00:05:15,125 --> 00:05:16,893
- Sorry, my sperm.
- (gags)
123
00:05:16,993 --> 00:05:18,395
Apologies. My DNA?
124
00:05:18,495 --> 00:05:19,730
I'll accept.
125
00:05:19,830 --> 00:05:21,665
To a cryobank.
See, I needed money
126
00:05:21,765 --> 00:05:22,942
after I dropped
out of law school
127
00:05:22,966 --> 00:05:24,134
to help pay for art supplies.
128
00:05:24,234 --> 00:05:26,503
So I figured, hey,
I'll be a hero.
129
00:05:27,370 --> 00:05:30,340
But at some point, it stopped
being a job and started being
130
00:05:30,441 --> 00:05:31,642
a hobby?
131
00:05:31,742 --> 00:05:34,911
These are your literal children?
132
00:05:35,011 --> 00:05:37,581
For tax purposes, no.
133
00:05:37,681 --> 00:05:39,916
For organ donation
purposes, maybe.
134
00:05:40,684 --> 00:05:41,685
Does Carly know?
135
00:05:41,785 --> 00:05:43,286
I don't know, ask Carly.
136
00:05:43,386 --> 00:05:46,990
How can you even be sure
these are really your kids?
137
00:05:52,663 --> 00:05:54,831
(laughing)
138
00:05:56,099 --> 00:05:58,869
Okay, I see the resemblance now.
139
00:05:59,636 --> 00:06:01,237
(ringing)
140
00:06:01,337 --> 00:06:06,042
Gather ye round,
Spoppers and Spopettes!
141
00:06:06,142 --> 00:06:10,080
Now, I know you think you're
just here to meet your Spiblings
142
00:06:10,180 --> 00:06:11,448
and your Spoppa.
143
00:06:11,548 --> 00:06:14,250
But as you know by now,
I am a fine artiste.
144
00:06:14,350 --> 00:06:17,120
And, as my progeny,
you are my muses.
145
00:06:17,220 --> 00:06:19,756
Or should I say, my Spmuses.
146
00:06:20,557 --> 00:06:24,628
And as great artists have
said since the dawn of time:
147
00:06:24,728 --> 00:06:25,696
who wants pizza?
148
00:06:25,796 --> 00:06:27,130
(cheering)
149
00:06:27,230 --> 00:06:30,934
Ooh, I smell sausage.
Out of the way, Splosers!
150
00:06:32,002 --> 00:06:34,738
Hello. What's your name?
151
00:06:34,838 --> 00:06:36,006
Potter.
152
00:06:36,106 --> 00:06:38,308
Hi, Potter. Do you
not like pizza?
153
00:06:38,408 --> 00:06:40,076
I do, but I brought
my own lunch.
154
00:06:40,176 --> 00:06:42,779
It's pretty much the
only thing I eat.
155
00:06:42,879 --> 00:06:45,315
Aah! Spaghetti tacos?
156
00:06:46,116 --> 00:06:49,252
I know a parent is never
supposed to choose favorites.
157
00:06:49,351 --> 00:06:52,222
But I am gonna learn
your last name.
158
00:06:52,322 --> 00:06:54,491
? ?
159
00:06:54,591 --> 00:06:56,693
Hi.
160
00:06:57,628 --> 00:07:00,531
There's got to be someone
here that wants to see me.
161
00:07:00,631 --> 00:07:02,499
Not him.
162
00:07:02,599 --> 00:07:04,067
Carly Shay.
163
00:07:04,167 --> 00:07:09,372
Shane. Wow, I haven't seen
you since you fell down...
164
00:07:09,472 --> 00:07:11,407
someone's elevator shaft.
165
00:07:11,508 --> 00:07:14,010
Yeah. You know,
lying at the bottom
166
00:07:14,110 --> 00:07:16,279
of that cold, dark shaft
and spending months
167
00:07:16,379 --> 00:07:20,016
in a body cast... helped
me realize my purpose.
168
00:07:20,116 --> 00:07:22,052
That's amazing. But what is it?
169
00:07:22,152 --> 00:07:25,188
Engineering? Medicine?
Saving the bees?
170
00:07:25,288 --> 00:07:26,823
I just read an
article about that.
171
00:07:26,923 --> 00:07:28,725
(groans) I am, uh,
deathly allergic
172
00:07:28,825 --> 00:07:30,260
to all stinging insects.
173
00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:34,464
Actually, I head the
physical education curriculum
174
00:07:34,565 --> 00:07:35,732
right here at Ridgeway.
175
00:07:35,832 --> 00:07:37,968
You're a gym teacher?
176
00:07:38,769 --> 00:07:40,904
I mean, no, that, that's neat.
177
00:07:41,004 --> 00:07:42,372
You get to wear shorts to work.
178
00:07:42,472 --> 00:07:46,242
I wear joggers, Carly.
I'm a professional.
179
00:07:46,342 --> 00:07:47,844
Yes, of course.
180
00:07:47,944 --> 00:07:51,514
But you do teach fun stuff,
181
00:07:51,615 --> 00:07:54,317
not "this matters" stuff.
182
00:07:57,621 --> 00:08:01,057
Principal Franklin. Wait,
I thought you retired.
183
00:08:01,157 --> 00:08:02,893
Can we call you Ted now?
184
00:08:03,493 --> 00:08:04,360
Nope.
185
00:08:04,460 --> 00:08:05,929
I'm on the reunion circuit,
186
00:08:06,029 --> 00:08:08,298
mostly for the free drinks
and occasional gifts.
187
00:08:08,398 --> 00:08:10,834
Plus, I get to wear this shirt.
188
00:08:10,934 --> 00:08:12,803
Well, I'd consider
it a real gift
189
00:08:12,903 --> 00:08:15,005
to stand next to you
in the class photo.
190
00:08:15,105 --> 00:08:16,707
You could even flip my tassel.
191
00:08:16,807 --> 00:08:20,310
But, Carly, the class photo is
only for Ridgeway graduates.
192
00:08:20,410 --> 00:08:22,813
(chuckles)
193
00:08:22,913 --> 00:08:24,180
I don't get it.
194
00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:27,017
Of course you don't.
You never graduated.
195
00:08:33,489 --> 00:08:34,734
How could she not
have graduated?
196
00:08:34,758 --> 00:08:37,092
Am I dating a high
school dropout?
197
00:08:37,193 --> 00:08:38,928
Am I a bad boy?
198
00:08:39,029 --> 00:08:41,496
I went to a little
bit of college.
199
00:08:41,597 --> 00:08:44,200
So I know for a fact
my credits transferred.
200
00:08:44,299 --> 00:08:45,602
Not true.
201
00:08:45,702 --> 00:08:47,379
I remember because when I
reviewed your paperwork,
202
00:08:47,403 --> 00:08:49,906
I laughed and laughed.
203
00:08:50,774 --> 00:08:52,508
You had an incomplete
in phys ed.
204
00:08:52,609 --> 00:08:54,945
(laughs) It's still funny.
205
00:08:55,045 --> 00:08:56,847
I took gym in Italy.
206
00:08:56,947 --> 00:08:58,982
Tuscan strolls didn't transfer?
207
00:08:59,082 --> 00:09:02,018
So, what you're saying
is, I can't be a part
208
00:09:02,118 --> 00:09:04,587
of the class photo that I've
waited ten years to be in
209
00:09:04,688 --> 00:09:06,189
because of gym?
210
00:09:06,289 --> 00:09:08,759
The one class that teaches
skills I'll never even use?
211
00:09:08,859 --> 00:09:11,379
Those skills are good for your
heart, your lungs, your joints...
212
00:09:11,461 --> 00:09:13,529
Whose side are you
on, mine or gym?
213
00:09:13,630 --> 00:09:15,565
It's also a good
stress reliever.
214
00:09:16,332 --> 00:09:19,302
We sent several notices to the
address your brother gave us:
215
00:09:19,402 --> 00:09:23,974
500 Whichever Way the Tower of
Pisa Leans, Italy, no zip code.
216
00:09:25,642 --> 00:09:27,978
So, my dreams of being
forever immortalized
217
00:09:28,078 --> 00:09:30,113
with the class of
2013 are dashed
218
00:09:30,213 --> 00:09:33,717
because I never mastered
the frigging monkey bars?
219
00:09:33,817 --> 00:09:37,187
I'm confused why the photo's
more important than the diploma.
220
00:09:37,287 --> 00:09:38,755
It's not even about the photo.
221
00:09:38,855 --> 00:09:41,391
I missed so many
milestones senior year,
222
00:09:41,491 --> 00:09:44,194
and that was the one that I
could finally be a part of.
223
00:09:44,294 --> 00:09:47,563
Why don't you just
ask Shane to pass you?
224
00:09:47,664 --> 00:09:48,732
I mean, he's the...
225
00:09:48,832 --> 00:09:50,633
(chuckles) the gym teacher.
226
00:09:50,734 --> 00:09:52,035
That's a great idea.
227
00:09:52,135 --> 00:09:53,512
Do you think that he
would do it tonight?
228
00:09:53,536 --> 00:09:54,805
I mean, why wouldn't he?
229
00:09:54,905 --> 00:09:56,740
He's here, I'm here,
the photographer's here.
230
00:09:58,942 --> 00:10:02,545
I am going to graduate the
chiz out of high school.
231
00:10:02,645 --> 00:10:05,048
Who could say no to this energy?
232
00:10:05,148 --> 00:10:06,249
No.
233
00:10:09,352 --> 00:10:11,554
Blood of my blood.
234
00:10:11,654 --> 00:10:13,690
Hear my decree.
235
00:10:13,790 --> 00:10:17,093
Consider the great
masterpieces of the human era:
236
00:10:17,193 --> 00:10:18,962
Mona Lisa. Starry Night.
237
00:10:19,062 --> 00:10:23,834
Bette Midler's rendition of
"Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy."
238
00:10:23,934 --> 00:10:26,236
And yet they are all trash
239
00:10:26,336 --> 00:10:29,773
when you compare them to
my latest installation
240
00:10:29,873 --> 00:10:32,142
Mount Spencemore!
241
00:10:34,210 --> 00:10:35,278
- Ooh.
- Wow.
242
00:10:35,378 --> 00:10:38,548
Who is buying your art?
243
00:10:38,648 --> 00:10:41,617
Spoppers and
Spopettes! Assemble!
244
00:10:41,718 --> 00:10:45,555
Yes, safely find a face hole.
245
00:10:47,390 --> 00:10:48,391
Yes.
246
00:10:48,491 --> 00:10:50,193
- Spoppa?
- What is it, Potter?
247
00:10:50,293 --> 00:10:51,762
There's no face hole for me.
248
00:10:51,862 --> 00:10:54,597
What? How is that possible?
249
00:10:55,531 --> 00:10:57,901
No, wait...
250
00:10:58,001 --> 00:11:00,804
There are only ten
holes for 11 kids.
251
00:11:00,904 --> 00:11:02,744
And I feel like you should
get Potter in there.
252
00:11:02,773 --> 00:11:04,941
She really gonna
shine on camera.
253
00:11:05,041 --> 00:11:06,642
But there should be
enough for everyone.
254
00:11:06,743 --> 00:11:08,478
You know what this means, right?
255
00:11:08,578 --> 00:11:12,883
Yes. But I don't want to show
off, so you say it first.
256
00:11:12,983 --> 00:11:15,051
There's an imposter among us.
257
00:11:15,151 --> 00:11:17,420
An imSpopster!
258
00:11:17,520 --> 00:11:19,155
Oh, I love solving mysteries.
259
00:11:19,255 --> 00:11:21,457
I wish I had a magnifying
glass and a pipe.
260
00:11:21,557 --> 00:11:22,668
It wouldn't help
me solve anything,
261
00:11:22,692 --> 00:11:24,427
but I know I'd look good.
262
00:11:24,527 --> 00:11:27,263
But how will we figure
out who the imSpopster is?
263
00:11:27,363 --> 00:11:29,766
Ah, I need my thinking cookie.
264
00:11:31,367 --> 00:11:34,270
Okay, that's why Carly
only lets you eat cookies
265
00:11:34,370 --> 00:11:36,272
over the toilet.
266
00:11:40,010 --> 00:11:43,346
I think I know how we
can find the imSpopster.
267
00:11:43,446 --> 00:11:45,748
How?
268
00:11:46,783 --> 00:11:48,785
I already missed senior year.
269
00:11:48,885 --> 00:11:50,320
Can't you just pass me?
270
00:11:50,420 --> 00:11:52,398
If I'm not in the photo,
it's like I don't even exist.
271
00:11:52,422 --> 00:11:56,592
And exist she must. F-Train
don't date no ghost.
272
00:11:56,692 --> 00:11:58,528
Okay, I am an educator, hmm?
273
00:11:58,628 --> 00:12:02,398
I don't just hand out credits
like raisins on Halloween.
274
00:12:02,498 --> 00:12:07,603
All students must complete the
Lance Armstrong Fitness Test.
275
00:12:08,338 --> 00:12:10,606
Uh, formerly the OJ
Simpson Fitness Test.
276
00:12:10,706 --> 00:12:12,242
They're a little
slow to catch up.
277
00:12:13,609 --> 00:12:15,378
I can't wait until
your generation
278
00:12:15,478 --> 00:12:16,947
is no longer in charge.
279
00:12:17,047 --> 00:12:18,548
Hey. Get back to work, okay?
280
00:12:18,648 --> 00:12:21,351
Those mini quiches are not
gonna replenish themselves.
281
00:12:21,451 --> 00:12:23,286
Don't talk to my kid
like that, all right?
282
00:12:23,386 --> 00:12:24,554
She's volunteering her time.
283
00:12:24,654 --> 00:12:26,289
Volunteering? Uh, no.
284
00:12:26,389 --> 00:12:28,524
This is her detention.
285
00:12:28,624 --> 00:12:31,694
That's right, gym teachers
can give out detention.
286
00:12:31,794 --> 00:12:35,631
Yeah, we've got a lot
going on for ourselves.
287
00:12:36,632 --> 00:12:39,369
Millicentia Mitchell.
288
00:12:39,469 --> 00:12:40,603
You got detention?
289
00:12:40,703 --> 00:12:42,138
I'd love to stay and chat,
290
00:12:42,238 --> 00:12:45,241
but millennials
need their egg pies.
291
00:12:47,677 --> 00:12:50,346
Hey, what were we talking about?
292
00:12:50,446 --> 00:12:51,514
Oh, yeah.
293
00:12:51,614 --> 00:12:53,149
How the body is the temple,
294
00:12:53,249 --> 00:12:56,252
but the gym teacher
is the shaman.
295
00:12:56,352 --> 00:12:57,420
Your Holiness.
296
00:12:58,188 --> 00:13:03,159
As I always say to my most
useless students, good effort.
297
00:13:04,394 --> 00:13:06,362
Okay, fine. I'll test you.
298
00:13:06,462 --> 00:13:07,797
But you'd better not besmirch
299
00:13:07,898 --> 00:13:10,466
the good name of
Lance Armstrong.
300
00:13:10,566 --> 00:13:12,235
Thank you, Shane.
301
00:13:12,335 --> 00:13:14,313
So, you'll pass me tonight,
then I'll be in the photo,
302
00:13:14,337 --> 00:13:16,115
and then I'll come back
next week to take the test.
303
00:13:16,139 --> 00:13:18,074
Oh, how I cherish
our friendship so.
304
00:13:18,174 --> 00:13:21,077
No, no, this cannot still
be my problem next week.
305
00:13:21,177 --> 00:13:24,480
If you want to take the test,
you are doing it tonight.
306
00:13:24,580 --> 00:13:27,517
But I thought I was super clear.
307
00:13:27,617 --> 00:13:29,685
I don't want to take the test.
308
00:13:31,721 --> 00:13:33,957
? ?
309
00:13:35,491 --> 00:13:37,793
Yep, she's one of yours.
310
00:13:37,894 --> 00:13:39,462
Nice work. Next!
311
00:13:41,731 --> 00:13:42,765
Would you like some milk?
312
00:13:42,865 --> 00:13:44,300
(Spencer scoffs)
313
00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:45,701
You never take the milk.
314
00:13:45,801 --> 00:13:48,104
A rule I still don't understand.
315
00:13:49,105 --> 00:13:50,873
BOTH: The imSpopster.
316
00:13:53,576 --> 00:13:54,911
(both groan)
317
00:13:55,011 --> 00:13:57,280
Ten cookie tests, all
passed with flying colors,
318
00:13:57,380 --> 00:14:01,584
which must mean that the
remaining kid is the imSpopster.
319
00:14:01,684 --> 00:14:03,219
Yeah, but who's left?
320
00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:07,557
It's Potter! No,
not my favorite!
321
00:14:08,524 --> 00:14:09,884
Why couldn't it
have been this one?
322
00:14:09,926 --> 00:14:11,461
(alarm blaring)
323
00:14:11,561 --> 00:14:13,196
What?
324
00:14:13,296 --> 00:14:15,065
- What, what is go...?
- (child coughs)
325
00:14:15,932 --> 00:14:17,300
Mount Spencemore!
326
00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:25,074
Do you want subtitles for any video?
-=[ ai.OpenSubtitles.com ]=-
327
00:14:26,676 --> 00:14:28,844
Potter! Are you okay?
328
00:14:28,945 --> 00:14:31,314
It was a mistake,
Spoppa, I swear.
329
00:14:31,414 --> 00:14:34,650
Sometimes I just touch things
and they burst into flames.
330
00:14:34,750 --> 00:14:35,918
(gasps)
331
00:14:36,019 --> 00:14:39,889
I know, my beloved. I know.
332
00:14:39,990 --> 00:14:43,493
Spencer, you are the father.
333
00:14:44,894 --> 00:14:47,697
Okay, this is it.
334
00:14:47,797 --> 00:14:50,333
The moment you've
been waiting for:
335
00:14:50,433 --> 00:14:53,936
the Lance Armstrong
Fitness Test.
336
00:14:54,037 --> 00:14:55,105
And, like Lance Armstrong,
337
00:14:55,205 --> 00:14:56,706
I am ready to infuse myself
338
00:14:56,806 --> 00:14:58,174
with my own refrigerated blood.
339
00:14:58,274 --> 00:15:00,210
Mm-hmm. All you need to do
340
00:15:00,310 --> 00:15:03,313
is successfully complete
one of three exercises:
341
00:15:03,413 --> 00:15:04,314
Wind sprints.
342
00:15:04,414 --> 00:15:05,315
Ugh.
343
00:15:05,415 --> 00:15:07,383
- Rope climbing.
- Ugh!
344
00:15:07,483 --> 00:15:08,684
Or the sit-and-reach.
345
00:15:08,784 --> 00:15:09,685
Thank God.
346
00:15:09,785 --> 00:15:11,254
Yeah, that's the one.
347
00:15:11,354 --> 00:15:12,855
Are you ready?
348
00:15:12,955 --> 00:15:15,625
No. I pulled a muscle
sneezing earlier.
349
00:15:15,725 --> 00:15:17,893
But here we are.
350
00:15:17,994 --> 00:15:19,662
Let's do this.
351
00:15:19,762 --> 00:15:21,998
? ?
352
00:15:23,166 --> 00:15:25,935
- (growls)
- (growls)
353
00:15:26,036 --> 00:15:27,703
(blows whistle)
354
00:15:27,803 --> 00:15:31,541
? ?
355
00:15:34,577 --> 00:15:35,811
(blows whistle)
356
00:16:01,737 --> 00:16:03,173
(grunting)
357
00:16:04,440 --> 00:16:06,076
I did it, Shane,
358
00:16:06,176 --> 00:16:09,345
I got past my knees.
359
00:16:10,546 --> 00:16:12,515
Yeah, I know.
360
00:16:18,221 --> 00:16:20,990
Sorry, Carly. You'll
get 'em next time.
361
00:16:21,091 --> 00:16:21,991
Next time?
362
00:16:22,092 --> 00:16:24,327
There is no "next time."
363
00:16:25,061 --> 00:16:28,898
What's the point in graduating
if tonight was already a bust?
364
00:16:28,998 --> 00:16:32,102
What's the point in
graduating high school?
365
00:16:32,202 --> 00:16:33,703
Class photo time!
366
00:16:33,803 --> 00:16:37,373
Ridgeway graduates, line up
in front of the bleachers!
367
00:16:37,473 --> 00:16:39,575
You better get up
there, Captain Popular.
368
00:16:39,675 --> 00:16:42,812
Damn it, I just gave
you another nickname.
369
00:16:42,912 --> 00:16:46,749
The only nickname I have
ever wanted is Mr. iCarly.
370
00:16:46,849 --> 00:16:50,120
Who cares if you're not up
there in the class photo?
371
00:16:50,220 --> 00:16:53,456
No one can erase you from
my high school experience.
372
00:16:53,556 --> 00:16:55,391
You were the most
memorable part.
373
00:16:55,491 --> 00:16:58,561
Aw, look who finally
got together.
374
00:16:58,661 --> 00:16:59,729
(chuckles)
375
00:16:59,829 --> 00:17:01,331
Camgirl and F-Train.
376
00:17:02,132 --> 00:17:05,735
Come on, dude. Training bros
don't stand in the caboose.
377
00:17:05,834 --> 00:17:07,536
That means the back.
378
00:17:08,304 --> 00:17:09,572
(sighs)
379
00:17:09,671 --> 00:17:11,607
Go for it. Really.
380
00:17:11,707 --> 00:17:12,842
Are you sure?
381
00:17:12,941 --> 00:17:14,977
Smile big enough
for the both of us.
382
00:17:18,148 --> 00:17:20,483
Wow, he really went.
383
00:17:21,417 --> 00:17:22,485
Carly, wait.
384
00:17:22,584 --> 00:17:23,785
Yes?
385
00:17:23,886 --> 00:17:26,222
Can you take the picture?
386
00:17:27,223 --> 00:17:28,858
Sure.
387
00:17:32,595 --> 00:17:36,132
Everyone say...
388
00:17:36,232 --> 00:17:37,767
- (buzzing) - Help!
- Shane!
389
00:17:37,867 --> 00:17:40,670
Oh, of course. How
could we forget Shane?
390
00:17:40,770 --> 00:17:42,338
Thanks, Carly.
391
00:17:42,438 --> 00:17:43,839
Help! Wasps!
392
00:17:43,939 --> 00:17:48,778
Wasps? Shane is deathly allergic
to all stinging insects!
393
00:17:50,946 --> 00:17:54,550
Oh, yeah, yeah, that nest
has been there for years.
394
00:17:54,650 --> 00:17:56,519
Well, it's not my problem.
395
00:17:57,587 --> 00:18:00,956
Don't worry, Shane, I'm coming!
396
00:18:01,891 --> 00:18:03,959
EpiPen. (gasps) In my bag.
397
00:18:05,561 --> 00:18:07,797
? ?
398
00:18:12,635 --> 00:18:15,371
Oh, wait, no, this
is just a marker.
399
00:18:15,471 --> 00:18:17,773
? ?
400
00:18:17,873 --> 00:18:20,610
(gasping): Epi... pen.
401
00:18:20,710 --> 00:18:21,944
(Shane gasping)
402
00:18:23,112 --> 00:18:26,216
We meet again,
you raggedy bitch.
403
00:18:26,316 --> 00:18:27,683
(buzzing)
404
00:18:29,084 --> 00:18:31,120
(grunting)
405
00:18:32,488 --> 00:18:34,290
Come on, Carly. Go!
406
00:18:34,390 --> 00:18:35,625
(grunting)
407
00:18:43,533 --> 00:18:44,434
(gasps)
408
00:18:44,534 --> 00:18:46,001
(all gasping)
409
00:18:46,101 --> 00:18:47,637
Oh no.
410
00:18:47,737 --> 00:18:50,873
Now I just have to sit... and...
411
00:18:50,973 --> 00:18:52,842
- Reach!
- (grunts)
412
00:18:52,942 --> 00:18:55,311
By golly, she's gonna do it.
413
00:18:55,411 --> 00:18:57,380
She's gonna sit and reach.
414
00:18:57,480 --> 00:18:58,714
(grunting)
415
00:18:59,415 --> 00:19:00,550
Ah!
416
00:19:00,650 --> 00:19:01,484
(all gasping)
417
00:19:01,584 --> 00:19:02,618
(grunts)
418
00:19:02,718 --> 00:19:04,520
(gasping)
419
00:19:04,620 --> 00:19:07,056
(cheering)
420
00:19:07,156 --> 00:19:10,125
See, I told you phys
ed is important.
421
00:19:10,226 --> 00:19:13,195
Oh, shh, rest now.
422
00:19:13,296 --> 00:19:15,064
You're talking nonsense.
423
00:19:16,299 --> 00:19:18,901
Oh, thank you for
keeping her safe.
424
00:19:19,001 --> 00:19:20,236
It's the least I could do.
425
00:19:20,336 --> 00:19:23,373
That's not true, I
could've hired security.
426
00:19:23,473 --> 00:19:24,974
Wait, I'm still confused.
427
00:19:25,074 --> 00:19:27,910
If you only tracked down ten
kids, why did 11 show up?
428
00:19:28,010 --> 00:19:31,614
Oh, I might be able
to explain that.
429
00:19:31,714 --> 00:19:32,915
Spencer didn't track us down.
430
00:19:33,015 --> 00:19:34,617
I tracked him down.
431
00:19:34,717 --> 00:19:39,689
I'm a nurse at the "bank" where
Spencer made his "deposits."
432
00:19:39,789 --> 00:19:42,425
His sample was super popular.
433
00:19:42,525 --> 00:19:44,394
So height is that important.
434
00:19:44,494 --> 00:19:45,528
It is.
435
00:19:46,496 --> 00:19:48,831
When I decided to have a baby
on my own, I figured, hey,
436
00:19:48,931 --> 00:19:50,966
everyone steals office supplies.
437
00:19:51,066 --> 00:19:53,969
Legally, you should
stop talking now.
438
00:19:54,069 --> 00:19:57,106
- Hey, so you're a nurse, huh?
- Mm-hmm.
439
00:19:57,206 --> 00:19:58,541
Sounds like the
kind of boring job
440
00:19:58,641 --> 00:20:00,376
where I could do
most of the talking.
441
00:20:01,277 --> 00:20:02,978
Would you want to
grab a drink sometime?
442
00:20:03,078 --> 00:20:04,358
It's not like we haven't already
443
00:20:04,447 --> 00:20:05,724
consummated the
relationship. (chuckles)
444
00:20:05,748 --> 00:20:08,684
I think that could be fun.
445
00:20:08,784 --> 00:20:11,153
For me, it already was.
446
00:20:11,954 --> 00:20:15,090
Oh, no, you didn't hurt
your wrist, did you?
447
00:20:15,190 --> 00:20:16,292
Uh, no.
448
00:20:16,392 --> 00:20:19,962
Oh, great, then
you can sign this.
449
00:20:22,498 --> 00:20:24,834
Bye. Have fun.
450
00:20:27,670 --> 00:20:29,038
So, how's your Shirley Temple?
451
00:20:29,138 --> 00:20:32,675
Soured by the taste of
fibbery and hogwash?
452
00:20:34,076 --> 00:20:36,045
Why didn't you just tell
me you had detention?
453
00:20:36,145 --> 00:20:38,065
You should never feel
scared to tell me anything.
454
00:20:38,113 --> 00:20:41,317
I know. It's not like
you would "ground" me.
455
00:20:41,417 --> 00:20:43,152
"Go to your room!" Oh, no.
456
00:20:43,252 --> 00:20:46,689
Alone time with
all my cool stuff?
457
00:20:46,789 --> 00:20:49,258
You can always be
honest with me.
458
00:20:49,359 --> 00:20:50,969
Although I should really
think of some punishments
459
00:20:50,993 --> 00:20:52,462
with actual consequences.
460
00:20:52,562 --> 00:20:55,230
It's good to have goals.
461
00:20:57,500 --> 00:21:00,503
I am officially a
high school graduate.
462
00:21:00,603 --> 00:21:03,105
You know, you could've
handed me toilet paper
463
00:21:03,205 --> 00:21:04,907
and I'd have signed off on it.
464
00:21:05,741 --> 00:21:08,711
(groans) I am toasted, mang.
465
00:21:09,479 --> 00:21:12,915
Wow, Carly, that was one
for the history books.
466
00:21:13,015 --> 00:21:14,984
And... for the yearbooks.
467
00:21:15,084 --> 00:21:18,388
Like a yearbook for the reunion?
468
00:21:19,321 --> 00:21:22,191
So, did I earn a nickname?
469
00:21:23,726 --> 00:21:25,127
Life Alert?
470
00:21:26,195 --> 00:21:26,896
Or...
471
00:21:26,996 --> 00:21:28,731
CamGirl69...
472
00:21:28,831 --> 00:21:31,300
Nope! Life Alert
works. Trust me.
473
00:21:32,167 --> 00:21:35,237
I love it. Photo time!
474
00:21:35,337 --> 00:21:39,475
Everybody stop talking so we can
capture this cherished memory.
475
00:21:42,778 --> 00:21:45,915
Hey, camera. Take a picture.
476
00:21:47,583 --> 00:21:49,719
I'm proud of you, Life Alert.
477
00:21:49,819 --> 00:21:51,921
Thanks, Mr. iCarly.
478
00:21:57,326 --> 00:22:00,930
? ?
479
00:22:03,766 --> 00:22:06,836
Chugga chugga choo
choo, this is how we...
480
00:22:06,936 --> 00:22:08,971
Don't, don't.
481
00:22:12,174 --> 00:22:14,109
Nope, I don't want
to be on the news.
482
00:22:14,209 --> 00:22:15,845
W-W-Wait, w-wait,
come here, w-wait.
483
00:22:15,945 --> 00:22:18,814
Spauntie? And is
that my Spuncle?
484
00:22:20,349 --> 00:22:22,351
I don't know how to
answer that question.
485
00:22:22,452 --> 00:22:24,987
Carly, this is my
biological daughter
486
00:22:25,087 --> 00:22:26,856
and your niece Potter.
487
00:22:30,325 --> 00:22:31,694
Is now a bad time to tell you
488
00:22:31,794 --> 00:22:34,897
there's ten more of
these little stonkers?
489
00:23:05,761 --> 00:23:07,763
Ooh!
490
00:23:07,813 --> 00:23:12,363
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
34613
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.