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1
00:00:04,355 --> 00:00:08,658
Oh, I forgot how
good this movie is.
2
00:00:08,753 --> 00:00:12,491
I love Joan Cusack.
3
00:00:12,588 --> 00:00:15,257
It's John Cusack.
Joan Cusack is his sister.
4
00:00:15,353 --> 00:00:17,689
The parents named
them Joan and John?
5
00:00:17,787 --> 00:00:19,155
Yes, I guess so.
6
00:00:19,253 --> 00:00:20,855
Do they have other siblings?
7
00:00:20,953 --> 00:00:22,154
Yes, they have a few others.
8
00:00:22,252 --> 00:00:24,488
One was in
A League of Their Own .
9
00:00:24,586 --> 00:00:27,589
That's the one where
the sisters have sex, right?
10
00:00:27,685 --> 00:00:29,720
No, it's the sisters
that play baseball.
11
00:00:29,818 --> 00:00:31,387
Will you two shut up?
12
00:00:31,485 --> 00:00:34,554
I need to hear my phone in case
Brenda finally calls me back.
13
00:00:34,650 --> 00:00:35,886
Oh, God.
14
00:00:35,984 --> 00:00:40,254
Why didn't I tell her I got
fired? Why? Why? Why?
15
00:00:40,349 --> 00:00:42,251
Wally, you dumbass.
16
00:00:42,349 --> 00:00:44,118
Dad, it's okay.
You-you can get her back.
17
00:00:44,216 --> 00:00:45,951
Just--You gotta do
a big gesture, huh?
18
00:00:46,049 --> 00:00:47,217
Like Lloyd and the boom box.
19
00:00:47,316 --> 00:00:49,685
[Wally crying]
20
00:00:49,782 --> 00:00:52,986
Well, Dad, I mean,
can-can you blame her?
21
00:00:53,082 --> 00:00:54,583
Look at yourself.
22
00:00:54,681 --> 00:00:56,549
It's like the way that you're
positioned and everything.
23
00:00:56,647 --> 00:00:58,749
You can't keep a good woman
there by being, like,
24
00:00:58,881 --> 00:01:00,148
depressed all the time.
25
00:01:00,247 --> 00:01:02,383
[Wally] Oh, yeah.
Listen to you.
26
00:01:02,481 --> 00:01:05,350
So smug now that you're
suddenly so mature.
27
00:01:05,445 --> 00:01:09,349
Oh, what do you even
know about love, Nora?
28
00:01:09,445 --> 00:01:11,747
All you ever loved was weed
and slacking off.
29
00:01:11,879 --> 00:01:13,780
And Mandy,
that slutty freaking car.
30
00:01:13,879 --> 00:01:17,382
You know what, Dad, right now,
in your condition,
31
00:01:17,478 --> 00:01:20,147
our life would be a lot
better off without you.
32
00:01:20,244 --> 00:01:24,148
How dare you.
33
00:01:24,243 --> 00:01:25,211
I'm going to my room.
34
00:01:25,310 --> 00:01:27,112
[Nora] Okay. Go to your room.
35
00:01:27,210 --> 00:01:28,544
You big baby.
36
00:01:28,641 --> 00:01:30,377
[Wally] Shut up!
I am not!
37
00:01:31,042 --> 00:01:31,857
♪ Do it, baby
38
00:01:31,876 --> 00:01:33,777
♪ Do it, do it, baby
39
00:01:33,876 --> 00:01:35,043
♪ Do it, baby
40
00:01:35,141 --> 00:01:37,243
♪ Do it, do it, baby
41
00:01:37,341 --> 00:01:38,509
♪ Do it, baby
42
00:01:39,607 --> 00:01:41,910
♪ Say what's the world
coming to ♪
43
00:01:42,008 --> 00:01:44,577
♪ And tell me what
I'm supposed to do ♪
44
00:01:44,674 --> 00:01:47,343
♪ We gotta find love today
I know there's a way ♪
45
00:01:47,439 --> 00:01:49,741
♪ It's gonna be all right
46
00:01:49,873 --> 00:01:51,875
♪ What's the world
coming to ♪
47
00:01:51,973 --> 00:01:53,640
♪ And tell me what
I'm supposed to do ♪
48
00:01:53,872 --> 00:01:55,273
[Nora] Here's your bacon,
egg and cheese.
49
00:01:55,373 --> 00:01:56,540
What are you--
What are you doing later?
50
00:01:56,638 --> 00:01:58,340
Um, thank you, Nora.
Appreciate you.
51
00:01:58,437 --> 00:02:00,739
Bye, Deshawn.
Yeah, I love you.
52
00:02:00,872 --> 00:02:04,909
He wants it so bad,
it's ridiculous.
53
00:02:05,005 --> 00:02:07,340
Hey, do you guys have, um,
Lady Menthols?
54
00:02:07,437 --> 00:02:10,240
Yeah. Yeah, we do.
55
00:02:10,336 --> 00:02:12,172
- Um, it's you.
- Who?
56
00:02:12,270 --> 00:02:13,504
- You.
- Me?
57
00:02:13,602 --> 00:02:16,272
Do you remember me
from the library in 2003?
58
00:02:16,369 --> 00:02:19,038
You were the unlikeable
time traveler.
59
00:02:19,135 --> 00:02:20,370
Why was I unlikeable?
60
00:02:20,469 --> 00:02:21,971
Well, you were
in a bit of a rush, you know.
61
00:02:22,068 --> 00:02:23,235
Because I was fucking time
travelling back home.
62
00:02:23,334 --> 00:02:25,136
How's the present?
63
00:02:25,234 --> 00:02:26,302
You know,
the present's all right.
64
00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:28,369
Um, you know,
I've just been working.
65
00:02:28,467 --> 00:02:30,402
Saved up enough money
to buy a car,
66
00:02:30,500 --> 00:02:32,469
so I'm gonna go pick her
up tonight. Very excited.
67
00:02:32,567 --> 00:02:36,304
Oh, that's so great!
Oh, are you gonna live in it?
68
00:02:36,399 --> 00:02:38,234
I feel like you're
gonna live in it.
69
00:02:38,331 --> 00:02:40,300
No, I'm not gonna live in it.
I will drive it.
70
00:02:40,399 --> 00:02:43,235
I mean, I lived in my Miata
from '92 to '96.
71
00:02:43,331 --> 00:02:44,566
- Jesus.
- Oh yeah.
72
00:02:44,664 --> 00:02:47,633
I was doing van life
way before it was cool.
73
00:02:47,730 --> 00:02:50,533
- It's not really van life.
- I got to explore America.
74
00:02:50,630 --> 00:02:52,366
I feel like you
could do that, too.
75
00:02:52,464 --> 00:02:54,432
I-I just--I don't know if
I could ever leave New York.
76
00:02:54,529 --> 00:02:57,232
- You know, I live by one rule.
- Okay.
77
00:02:57,328 --> 00:03:00,932
You can leave New York
and see the world.
78
00:03:01,029 --> 00:03:05,733
Or you can stay in New York
and have the world come to you.
79
00:03:05,862 --> 00:03:07,563
That's surprisingly insightful.
80
00:03:07,661 --> 00:03:10,230
Well, I mean,
I am Mensa, 12 languages.
81
00:03:10,327 --> 00:03:11,896
- Yeah.
- Yeah. So.
82
00:03:11,994 --> 00:03:14,463
And you're--you're young.
I mean, relatively young.
83
00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:17,789
- I mean, what are you, 39?
- No!
84
00:03:17,860 --> 00:03:19,661
Because you have a
little bit of crow's feet.
85
00:03:19,759 --> 00:03:22,262
But then your hair
is so full and--
86
00:03:22,359 --> 00:03:23,593
Here you go,
your menthols.
87
00:03:23,692 --> 00:03:24,833
Thank you so much.
Great to see you.
88
00:03:24,859 --> 00:03:26,326
Well, I'm so glad
you carry these.
89
00:03:26,424 --> 00:03:27,826
- I can't wait to--
- Absolutely.
90
00:03:27,858 --> 00:03:29,392
- be back.
- Yes.
91
00:03:29,491 --> 00:03:31,493
- Bye.
- Bye.
92
00:03:36,323 --> 00:03:40,962
Come on, Bren.
Come on, come on, come on.
93
00:03:41,922 --> 00:03:43,123
[Grandma] This emo
piece of shit.
94
00:03:44,356 --> 00:03:45,924
- You're still here?
- Holy shit.
95
00:03:46,021 --> 00:03:49,724
You need to make a big gesture!
Get Brenda back.
96
00:03:49,856 --> 00:03:53,059
- I know. I know.
- Do something romantic!
97
00:03:53,155 --> 00:03:54,322
Ow!
98
00:03:54,420 --> 00:03:55,588
Why are you being
such a baby bitch?
99
00:03:55,687 --> 00:03:56,989
Jesus Christ.
Watch your fucking language, Ma.
100
00:03:57,087 --> 00:03:59,656
[music]
101
00:03:59,753 --> 00:04:00,888
[Nora] All right.
We're closing early today.
102
00:04:00,987 --> 00:04:03,189
I know it's crazy with
the economy and whatnot.
103
00:04:03,286 --> 00:04:05,856
Have a good one, sir.
Here we go.
104
00:04:06,853 --> 00:04:07,887
All right.
105
00:04:07,985 --> 00:04:09,854
Oh, Nora.
Oh, what are you doing here?
106
00:04:09,952 --> 00:04:12,054
I thought you were going upstate
to pick up your new car.
107
00:04:12,152 --> 00:04:13,920
Uh, yeah. Yeah.
108
00:04:14,018 --> 00:04:16,454
No. I-I-I'm gonna
take the bus to New Paltz.
109
00:04:16,551 --> 00:04:19,354
My dad was supposed to drive me,
but we had a fight.
110
00:04:19,450 --> 00:04:21,919
New Paltz?
I own some condos there.
111
00:04:22,016 --> 00:04:23,551
Sold them all.
112
00:04:23,650 --> 00:04:24,952
Hey, don't worry about that,
'cause your investment is safe
113
00:04:25,050 --> 00:04:29,554
right here in Queens.
Take a look around.
114
00:04:30,382 --> 00:04:31,716
What's uh, what's going on?
115
00:04:31,849 --> 00:04:34,417
Uh, I didn't want you to find
out this way, Nora, but um,
116
00:04:34,514 --> 00:04:35,615
I'm selling the place.
117
00:04:35,714 --> 00:04:37,802
My capital costs are
through the roof.
118
00:04:37,849 --> 00:04:40,918
And I need cash quick to pay
for my mom's Invisalign,
119
00:04:41,014 --> 00:04:43,083
and a bunch of
Uniqlo heat tech vests.
120
00:04:43,180 --> 00:04:44,114
So I'm out of a job?
121
00:04:44,213 --> 00:04:45,448
Well, yeah, but,
122
00:04:45,546 --> 00:04:46,848
I mean, you weren't gonna
stay here forever, right?
123
00:04:46,947 --> 00:04:48,014
No.
124
00:04:48,112 --> 00:04:49,747
- That would be dumb.
- That would be. Yeah.
125
00:04:49,846 --> 00:04:52,348
Oh, hold on.
Go for Moon.
126
00:04:52,445 --> 00:04:53,579
Hey, give me the keys.
I'll lock up.
127
00:04:53,678 --> 00:04:54,980
Yeah, there you go.
128
00:04:55,079 --> 00:04:57,248
No, not your keys.
Someone else's keys.
129
00:04:57,344 --> 00:05:01,481
[music]
130
00:05:07,543 --> 00:05:10,646
[music]
131
00:05:34,339 --> 00:05:36,107
[Brenda]
Why is the door open?
132
00:05:37,204 --> 00:05:39,040
Hello?
133
00:05:41,038 --> 00:05:43,206
What the hell?
134
00:05:48,270 --> 00:05:50,439
[music]
135
00:05:50,537 --> 00:05:51,972
Hey, Brenda.
[screaming]
136
00:05:52,070 --> 00:05:55,406
[Wally screaming]
137
00:05:55,502 --> 00:05:56,570
Wally!
138
00:05:56,669 --> 00:05:58,939
[Wally crying]
139
00:05:59,035 --> 00:06:00,837
Oh, I love roses.
140
00:06:00,935 --> 00:06:03,938
[music]
141
00:06:19,833 --> 00:06:21,835
Maybe it was too good
to be true.
142
00:06:36,130 --> 00:06:39,133
My baby.
143
00:06:39,230 --> 00:06:41,732
Yes! My baby!
144
00:06:43,562 --> 00:06:46,198
My baby has arrived!
145
00:06:52,560 --> 00:06:56,397
Oh, my gosh.
I'm so sorry I'm late.
146
00:06:56,493 --> 00:06:57,798
- It's okay.
- I'm so sorry.
147
00:06:57,827 --> 00:06:59,628
My youngest had an emergency
at soccer practice.
148
00:06:59,726 --> 00:07:01,528
He was throwing up everywhere,
beef stroganoff.
149
00:07:01,626 --> 00:07:02,560
I hope he's okay.
150
00:07:02,658 --> 00:07:04,160
He's fine.
151
00:07:04,258 --> 00:07:07,394
And I'm so sorry to ask, but did
you remember to bring cash?
152
00:07:07,491 --> 00:07:08,626
Oh, yeah.
I have it right here.
153
00:07:08,724 --> 00:07:10,126
No, don't whip that out here.
154
00:07:10,225 --> 00:07:11,626
You don't know what kind of
crazies are lurking around.
155
00:07:11,724 --> 00:07:12,892
We can figure that out later.
156
00:07:12,991 --> 00:07:14,092
Do you wanna
take her for a spin?
157
00:07:14,190 --> 00:07:15,491
See if everything's
to your liking?
158
00:07:15,590 --> 00:07:16,859
Oh, my God.
159
00:07:16,957 --> 00:07:18,291
I would love nothing
more than to do that.
160
00:07:18,389 --> 00:07:19,590
Great. Great.
161
00:07:19,689 --> 00:07:21,258
[Nora] Wow, she handles beautifully.
162
00:07:21,356 --> 00:07:23,025
[Seller] She does, doesn't she?
163
00:07:23,123 --> 00:07:25,458
You know, this car has been
through so much.
164
00:07:25,555 --> 00:07:26,957
- It has?
- Yeah.
165
00:07:27,055 --> 00:07:30,591
I actually gave birth in
the very seat you're sitting in
166
00:07:30,687 --> 00:07:33,057
right in the middle of
Manhattan, 14th Avenue.
167
00:07:33,154 --> 00:07:35,656
The placenta splashed
all into the vents.
168
00:07:35,821 --> 00:07:38,089
That's why the AC doesn't work.
169
00:07:38,186 --> 00:07:39,621
There's no AC?
170
00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:40,922
No, there is.
171
00:07:41,020 --> 00:07:42,687
It's just you can't turn
it on by using the knob.
172
00:07:42,820 --> 00:07:44,521
But if you jiggle it
in just the right spot,
173
00:07:44,619 --> 00:07:46,855
you can get the fan going.
174
00:07:46,952 --> 00:07:49,421
Using the fan is better
than the AC anyway.
175
00:07:49,519 --> 00:07:51,154
It's better for the kids.
Do you have kids?
176
00:07:51,252 --> 00:07:53,955
- No, I do not have--
- Well, when you do, Nora,
177
00:07:54,051 --> 00:07:56,186
and they're pooping
and puking all over the place,
178
00:07:56,284 --> 00:07:58,220
you're gonna be so
thankful to have this car.
179
00:07:58,318 --> 00:08:00,153
Especially with the city
driving, stopping and starting.
180
00:08:00,250 --> 00:08:04,154
My daughter gets so carsick,
and it's like blah.
181
00:08:04,249 --> 00:08:10,086
City driving, right,
like on 14th Avenue
182
00:08:10,215 --> 00:08:15,053
in Manhattan,
which doesn't exist.
183
00:08:15,315 --> 00:08:18,218
Someone's quite
the little detective.
184
00:08:18,314 --> 00:08:21,738
- Oh fuck, is that a knife?
- Yeah. And don't you dare move,
185
00:08:21,814 --> 00:08:25,283
or I will slice and dice you
like how I do fajita night.
186
00:08:25,379 --> 00:08:26,782
Jesus Christ.
187
00:08:26,814 --> 00:08:29,682
I'm gonna need the cash.
And I need your phone.
188
00:08:29,813 --> 00:08:31,080
You mean my iPhone 6?
189
00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:36,102
Yes. I can still get $40
for it on the darknet.
190
00:08:36,211 --> 00:08:38,346
Okay.
191
00:08:38,444 --> 00:08:40,646
Pull over.
192
00:08:42,244 --> 00:08:45,047
Now, please get out of my
extortion car.
193
00:08:46,977 --> 00:08:48,879
Nice doing business with ya.
194
00:08:48,976 --> 00:08:50,611
Oh, thank you for the catchphrase.
195
00:08:50,709 --> 00:08:51,911
Get the door.
196
00:08:52,010 --> 00:08:54,145
Oh, you need help with the door,
you knife bitch?
197
00:08:55,175 --> 00:08:57,845
Fuck!
God!
198
00:08:58,074 --> 00:09:00,410
I know your license!
It's BQ...
199
00:09:00,808 --> 00:09:03,143
Fuck!
200
00:09:03,340 --> 00:09:05,209
Mandy!
201
00:09:07,973 --> 00:09:12,711
Oh, no. Oh.
Oh, shit.
202
00:09:13,239 --> 00:09:16,009
[music]
203
00:09:16,105 --> 00:09:19,008
So, what, you snuck into my
house to do what exactly,
204
00:09:19,105 --> 00:09:20,306
attack me?
205
00:09:20,405 --> 00:09:25,394
I [sneezes] was trying to
do a big, romantic gesture.
206
00:09:25,504 --> 00:09:26,705
[sneezes]
207
00:09:26,804 --> 00:09:29,539
Ow. When you didn't
call me back...
208
00:09:29,636 --> 00:09:32,272
God, this shit could
kill a grizzly bear.
209
00:09:32,369 --> 00:09:36,307
Wally, I told you I had a busy
week at work, and I-I just--
210
00:09:36,402 --> 00:09:38,404
I just needed some time.
211
00:09:38,501 --> 00:09:41,337
I know.
212
00:09:41,434 --> 00:09:42,702
I'm sorry, Bren.
213
00:09:42,802 --> 00:09:44,703
I messed up.
214
00:09:44,802 --> 00:09:47,704
Maybe this is just the universe
trying to tell me,
215
00:09:47,801 --> 00:09:49,402
I don't...
216
00:09:51,500 --> 00:09:52,802
...deserve you.
217
00:09:52,901 --> 00:09:55,169
No, this is ridiculous.
No one's saying that.
218
00:09:55,266 --> 00:09:57,803
I am.
219
00:09:57,899 --> 00:09:59,733
Everybody I love is
mad at me right now.
220
00:09:59,833 --> 00:10:03,069
My mom, Nora.
221
00:10:03,164 --> 00:10:07,202
But the two of them,
they're stuck with me.
222
00:10:09,164 --> 00:10:10,399
You're not.
223
00:10:10,497 --> 00:10:14,434
Well, what are you saying?
224
00:10:14,529 --> 00:10:17,132
You're breaking up with me?
225
00:10:18,030 --> 00:10:20,232
[Man] Excuse me. We gotta get
him in for his concussion check.
226
00:10:20,329 --> 00:10:21,330
Are you coming with?
227
00:10:21,429 --> 00:10:24,833
If he wants me to.
228
00:10:24,995 --> 00:10:26,329
- It's okay.
- Let's go.
229
00:10:26,428 --> 00:10:29,498
You don't have to.
230
00:10:29,594 --> 00:10:32,230
Just forget about me, Bren.
231
00:10:34,226 --> 00:10:39,698
[music]
232
00:10:48,392 --> 00:10:50,227
Who chains a woman's room?
233
00:10:52,391 --> 00:10:54,827
Ew, ew, ew, ew.
234
00:10:55,791 --> 00:10:58,359
Ew.
235
00:11:07,155 --> 00:11:08,891
Oh, come on.
236
00:11:09,621 --> 00:11:10,856
Of course, of course.
237
00:11:10,954 --> 00:11:13,156
This is all your fault
because you are stuck,
238
00:11:13,254 --> 00:11:18,193
robbed in upstate New York,
the taint of New York.
239
00:11:19,353 --> 00:11:21,089
Paper...
240
00:11:25,552 --> 00:11:26,759
What is this?
241
00:11:26,786 --> 00:11:28,253
Elf magic.
242
00:11:28,351 --> 00:11:30,020
I want you to keep
it with you always.
243
00:11:30,118 --> 00:11:33,188
In times of need,
it will reveal its power.
244
00:11:36,818 --> 00:11:39,020
Oh! What?
245
00:11:40,317 --> 00:11:43,187
I'm dying!
246
00:11:46,216 --> 00:11:49,519
What is going on?
This place again.
247
00:11:49,615 --> 00:11:51,650
- Hello, Nora!
- [screams]
248
00:11:51,782 --> 00:11:54,150
It's nice to finally meet you.
249
00:11:54,247 --> 00:11:55,482
What the fuck?
250
00:11:57,447 --> 00:11:59,083
Where am I?
Am I dead?
251
00:11:59,181 --> 00:12:01,149
I know I'm dead because
I-I can't feel my pussy
252
00:12:01,247 --> 00:12:03,016
in my dreams.
And it's very present right now.
253
00:12:03,114 --> 00:12:05,483
You're not dead, bitch.
254
00:12:05,580 --> 00:12:08,183
You're in a mystical vision.
255
00:12:08,280 --> 00:12:10,015
You said your life
would be better off
256
00:12:10,112 --> 00:12:11,680
without your dad in it.
257
00:12:11,780 --> 00:12:14,883
Would you like to see what the
alternatives would look like?
258
00:12:14,979 --> 00:12:17,181
Alternatives?
How?
259
00:12:17,278 --> 00:12:20,281
Remember when Wally and Grandma
tried to get you to do Kumon?
260
00:12:20,378 --> 00:12:23,081
- Yeah.
- Well, what if you had done it?
261
00:12:23,178 --> 00:12:26,081
Let's see how your life
would be different.
262
00:12:27,010 --> 00:12:28,211
You know what?
I'd have definitely quit Kumon,
263
00:12:28,310 --> 00:12:30,112
but okay.
264
00:12:33,942 --> 00:12:35,844
Listen, Melbo,
you cockless son of a pirate,
265
00:12:35,942 --> 00:12:39,412
if I don't get those depositions
by 9:00 AM EST,
266
00:12:39,507 --> 00:12:43,544
I will fumigate your asshole
in front of your family
267
00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:47,912
and everyone you know and love.
You hear that, bitch?
268
00:12:49,340 --> 00:12:50,475
Yikes.
269
00:12:50,573 --> 00:12:52,341
Lawyer me is cringy as fuck.
270
00:12:52,438 --> 00:12:54,975
You're the general counsel
at a hedge fund.
271
00:12:55,073 --> 00:12:58,476
Your credit card is
made of pure gold.
272
00:12:59,138 --> 00:13:01,107
That was iconic.
You are an inspiration.
273
00:13:01,204 --> 00:13:03,206
That is why you are absolutely
going to win LexisNexis
274
00:13:03,305 --> 00:13:04,907
compliance lawyer of the year.
275
00:13:05,004 --> 00:13:06,072
It's nothing but straight
slam dunks, you dig?
276
00:13:06,171 --> 00:13:07,438
Oh, I definitely dig.
277
00:13:07,536 --> 00:13:09,305
It's nothing but straight
in the field goal.
278
00:13:09,404 --> 00:13:11,406
Cool. And soccer,
I live for it.
279
00:13:11,503 --> 00:13:14,106
You think I overuse
sports-elated sayings?
280
00:13:14,203 --> 00:13:15,872
Not at all.
You could do more.
281
00:13:15,970 --> 00:13:18,038
- No. I'm okay.
- Okay.
282
00:13:20,669 --> 00:13:21,636
Me and Zuchy.
283
00:13:21,769 --> 00:13:23,403
Wow.
I'm, like, really rich.
284
00:13:23,500 --> 00:13:25,502
I have, like, 15 Mandys.
285
00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:27,770
But where are all the pictures
of Dad and Grandma?
286
00:13:27,868 --> 00:13:29,726
You wanna see your dad, huh?
287
00:13:29,768 --> 00:13:31,803
All right.
He's a real piece of work.
288
00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:34,836
And not just the needle.
I'm talking the whole cactus.
289
00:13:34,933 --> 00:13:36,568
[laughing]
290
00:13:36,666 --> 00:13:39,035
Okay. Why does he look
like Tim Curry in Annie ?
291
00:13:39,132 --> 00:13:41,001
Well, Wally used your
connections to build his
292
00:13:41,098 --> 00:13:43,033
hot tub/waterbed business.
293
00:13:43,131 --> 00:13:44,499
What does that mean?
294
00:13:44,598 --> 00:13:47,201
The key to success...
295
00:13:47,298 --> 00:13:48,332
is hot water.
296
00:13:48,430 --> 00:13:50,867
All you need to know
is he made a killing,
297
00:13:50,964 --> 00:13:53,499
but in this life
he never met Brenda.
298
00:13:53,596 --> 00:13:55,799
And you two had a falling out
when he didn't hire you
299
00:13:55,896 --> 00:13:57,364
as general counsel.
300
00:13:57,463 --> 00:14:01,033
Claudette, baby. Come on.
A little more elbow, please.
301
00:14:01,129 --> 00:14:01,964
Where's Grandma?
302
00:14:02,063 --> 00:14:03,798
Follow me.
303
00:14:04,763 --> 00:14:08,132
Johnson, what are you doing
here? This is my crime scene.
304
00:14:08,227 --> 00:14:10,229
- Is it?
- It is.
305
00:14:10,327 --> 00:14:12,997
I remember.
I always remember.
306
00:14:13,094 --> 00:14:15,263
You tell him, Edmund.
307
00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:17,662
You put her in a home
six years ago.
308
00:14:17,761 --> 00:14:19,028
Why?
309
00:14:19,126 --> 00:14:21,796
Because you're very busy
with work and everything.
310
00:14:21,893 --> 00:14:25,596
And you were afraid of leaving
her on her own at the house.
311
00:14:25,759 --> 00:14:27,393
Edmund, you're such a slut.
312
00:14:27,491 --> 00:14:29,761
Well, do I come
visit her at least?
313
00:14:29,859 --> 00:14:32,995
Well, you want to,
but you're very busy.
314
00:14:33,091 --> 00:14:35,426
- I'm what?
- You're very busy!
315
00:14:35,523 --> 00:14:37,893
- I'm very what?
- Oh, my God. Let's just go back.
316
00:14:37,990 --> 00:14:41,126
[music]
317
00:14:44,588 --> 00:14:47,687
- We just got the call.
- Give me some good news, baby.
318
00:14:47,756 --> 00:14:49,323
You did it.
319
00:14:49,421 --> 00:14:52,491
You are the LexisNexis top
compliance lawyer of the year!
320
00:14:52,587 --> 00:14:54,422
Finally!
321
00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:57,323
After eight years of-of
bringing my A-game
322
00:14:57,420 --> 00:14:58,989
and straight serving it up.
323
00:14:59,087 --> 00:15:01,122
Yes, Queen!
I'm gonna get some champagne.
324
00:15:01,219 --> 00:15:03,388
You should celebrate.
325
00:15:03,486 --> 00:15:05,956
- What are you doing tonight?
- I have to jet to a hinge date.
326
00:15:06,053 --> 00:15:08,221
Oh. Oh, appreciate that.
Getting some dick.
327
00:15:08,318 --> 00:15:11,055
Nice.
I've dabbled in the D game.
328
00:15:11,152 --> 00:15:14,188
Um, none in extremely
high numbers, but--
329
00:15:14,284 --> 00:15:15,753
Quality over quantity.
330
00:15:15,852 --> 00:15:17,619
The quality was low as well.
331
00:15:17,751 --> 00:15:19,118
This is so embarrassing.
332
00:15:19,217 --> 00:15:20,953
Is there anything else
I can do for you before I go?
333
00:15:21,050 --> 00:15:22,284
Yeah. Maybe get my grandma
on the horn.
334
00:15:22,383 --> 00:15:23,284
Absolutely.
335
00:15:23,382 --> 00:15:24,450
And if you could
give us some privacy
336
00:15:24,549 --> 00:15:25,751
because we have
a very intimate--
337
00:15:25,850 --> 00:15:27,384
- Absolutely. You got it.
- Thank you.
338
00:15:27,482 --> 00:15:30,185
[phone ringing]
339
00:15:30,282 --> 00:15:33,085
Ungrateful granddaughter.
340
00:15:35,281 --> 00:15:38,673
I just wanna tell her that I'm
LexisNexis compliance winner.
341
00:15:38,748 --> 00:15:40,082
Oh, she didn't pick up.
342
00:15:40,180 --> 00:15:42,315
I think she's doing some
calisthenics or something.
343
00:15:42,413 --> 00:15:44,182
Oh, wow.
Great bottle. Great.
344
00:15:44,279 --> 00:15:45,447
And you don't
wanna a glass, right?
345
00:15:45,546 --> 00:15:47,314
- Bye.
- Bye.
346
00:15:51,612 --> 00:15:54,482
Okay, so I have a
good job and money,
347
00:15:54,577 --> 00:15:58,654
but I'm clearly not happy.
I don't have any family.
348
00:15:58,745 --> 00:16:01,881
Is family what you want?
349
00:16:01,977 --> 00:16:04,379
I mean, I guess.
Right now I have nobody.
350
00:16:04,476 --> 00:16:06,178
Congratulations, Nora.
Thank you.
351
00:16:06,277 --> 00:16:08,512
Well, you do have that sex robot
behind the screen.
352
00:16:08,609 --> 00:16:09,811
The what?
353
00:16:09,909 --> 00:16:13,246
You are so successful.
You are a brilliant lawyer.
354
00:16:13,343 --> 00:16:16,669
- What the--
- You are so successful.
355
00:16:16,743 --> 00:16:19,411
- You litigate so well.
- I missed you, baby.
356
00:16:19,507 --> 00:16:23,779
Oh, my God.
Am I gonna use that?
357
00:16:23,874 --> 00:16:25,475
Yeah. I think so.
358
00:16:25,573 --> 00:16:26,507
I want sex.
359
00:16:26,606 --> 00:16:28,242
If you want,
when we have sex later,
360
00:16:28,340 --> 00:16:29,710
we can go over some more
of those depositions
361
00:16:29,741 --> 00:16:30,808
and case loads.
362
00:16:30,906 --> 00:16:32,742
I can't.
I can't.
363
00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:35,075
[Robot] You make so much money.
364
00:16:36,872 --> 00:16:38,206
We're back at home?
365
00:16:38,305 --> 00:16:40,975
This is your life if you had
gotten married, had kids.
366
00:16:41,071 --> 00:16:43,606
[Mom Nora] Hi, to all my live streamers.
367
00:16:43,738 --> 00:16:46,373
I love being a parent, but as
you guys know, it's very hard.
368
00:16:46,470 --> 00:16:49,373
But my favorite part of being
a parent is obviously being a
369
00:16:49,470 --> 00:16:54,743
caretaker of my little one.
Say hi.
370
00:16:55,036 --> 00:16:58,139
Is that Arthur from 8th grade?
371
00:16:58,236 --> 00:17:00,571
He was such a basic bitch dork.
372
00:17:00,735 --> 00:17:02,903
Oh, look who that is.
Daddy's home.
373
00:17:03,001 --> 00:17:04,536
- Hey.
- Daddy's home.
374
00:17:04,634 --> 00:17:06,469
- Go get your elephant, bud.
- Go show me elephant.
375
00:17:06,567 --> 00:17:08,302
Hey sweetums.
376
00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:11,203
Blech. Gross. Okay.
Sorry, no. It's gross.
377
00:17:11,299 --> 00:17:12,334
It's gross to watch, you know?
378
00:17:12,433 --> 00:17:14,601
Okay, I got some
packages for you.
379
00:17:14,733 --> 00:17:15,900
[Mom Nora] Oh.
380
00:17:15,999 --> 00:17:18,736
Uh, there's some mail
for your dad, uh, some bills.
381
00:17:18,833 --> 00:17:20,634
Oh, bills.
382
00:17:20,733 --> 00:17:22,968
Oh, and your package
from Amazon Prime.
383
00:17:23,065 --> 00:17:25,300
Oh yeah, that's my hairdryer.
If we could--Baby, will you
384
00:17:25,397 --> 00:17:27,466
take the mail and drop it off to
the courier for my dad?
385
00:17:27,564 --> 00:17:29,033
- No problem.
- Thank you so much.
386
00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:31,333
My hubby is the best hubby.
387
00:17:31,431 --> 00:17:32,833
So Dad doesn't
live here anymore?
388
00:17:32,931 --> 00:17:36,634
Nope. Yeah. No. Neither Wally
nor Grandma lives with you.
389
00:17:36,731 --> 00:17:39,867
- So where do they live?
- Follow me.
390
00:17:39,962 --> 00:17:44,333
[music]
391
00:17:47,194 --> 00:17:48,963
[burps and farts]
392
00:17:49,062 --> 00:17:50,764
What is going on here?
393
00:17:50,861 --> 00:17:51,962
Where's Brenda?
394
00:17:52,061 --> 00:17:54,563
Oh, this guy's
not dating Brenda.
395
00:17:54,727 --> 00:17:56,962
Oh, no. What is this?
What is this?
396
00:17:57,060 --> 00:17:59,362
Oh, my God.
Is he eating cat food?
397
00:17:59,459 --> 00:18:02,763
No. It's dog food,
but what's the difference?
398
00:18:02,859 --> 00:18:05,361
It's cheap and an excellent
source of fiber.
399
00:18:05,458 --> 00:18:08,494
- Is Grandma okay?
- She lives with Edmund now.
400
00:18:08,891 --> 00:18:12,361
I'll have dinner ready for you
when you get home.
401
00:18:12,457 --> 00:18:16,094
You're so smart, Bao Bao.
402
00:18:16,190 --> 00:18:20,729
The smartest of all
my grandchildren.
403
00:18:21,723 --> 00:18:23,124
Oh, my God.
404
00:18:23,222 --> 00:18:26,058
She calls him Bao Bao now?
405
00:18:26,155 --> 00:18:27,957
This is so upsetting.
406
00:18:28,055 --> 00:18:30,457
So do you wanna
go back home, then?
407
00:18:30,555 --> 00:18:33,859
- Hey guys, it's Nora.
- And Arthur.
408
00:18:33,955 --> 00:18:36,791
And we just wanted to sign off
and say goodnight.
409
00:18:36,887 --> 00:18:38,188
[air kissing]
410
00:18:38,287 --> 00:18:41,057
Oh, and also, I gotta
take my hair loss meds
411
00:18:41,153 --> 00:18:43,155
that I got through Hims.
412
00:18:43,253 --> 00:18:44,688
Gotta keep that hair looking
luscious, you know?
413
00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:47,823
- Nice and luscious...
- Are they just doing an ad?
414
00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:50,388
Yes. You need the money.
415
00:18:50,484 --> 00:18:52,486
- Okay. Bye, guys. Love you.
- I love you. Bye.
416
00:18:52,584 --> 00:18:54,721
Well, at least
I seem kind of happy.
417
00:18:54,818 --> 00:18:56,920
[air kissing]
418
00:18:57,018 --> 00:18:59,721
Well, that went--
nice.
419
00:19:00,951 --> 00:19:04,054
Right to the phone?
You're going right to the phone?
420
00:19:04,149 --> 00:19:05,483
What is it now?
421
00:19:05,582 --> 00:19:06,984
Your stupid fantasy football league,
422
00:19:07,082 --> 00:19:08,283
a bunch of goddamn incels?
423
00:19:08,381 --> 00:19:10,383
Oh my God,
can I get 30 minutes?
424
00:19:10,481 --> 00:19:11,717
[Nora] 30 minutes of what?
425
00:19:11,816 --> 00:19:13,183
Can you give me 30 minutes
of fantasy football?
426
00:19:13,282 --> 00:19:15,084
- That's all I ask for.
- Yikes.
427
00:19:15,181 --> 00:19:18,018
I got married to a selfish
piece of shit.
428
00:19:18,114 --> 00:19:20,616
Oh no. My God.
It's ugly, huh?
429
00:19:20,714 --> 00:19:23,582
I would rather go research how
to refinance this fucking house
430
00:19:23,714 --> 00:19:25,481
than spend another second
in bed with you.
431
00:19:25,579 --> 00:19:26,948
Okay.
Why don't you go research that?
432
00:19:27,046 --> 00:19:28,981
Because we wouldn't have to
refinance the house if you
433
00:19:29,079 --> 00:19:30,347
didn't have a gambling problem.
434
00:19:30,445 --> 00:19:32,915
It's NFTs.
I told you it's an investment.
435
00:19:33,012 --> 00:19:35,447
Why don't you go masturbate
in the other room?
436
00:19:35,545 --> 00:19:37,748
Oh, I will.
I will masturbate.
437
00:19:37,845 --> 00:19:39,479
- I'm gonna masturbate a lot.
- Why don't you?
438
00:19:39,576 --> 00:19:40,945
Look at how much
I'm gonna masturbate!
439
00:19:41,044 --> 00:19:42,445
It's like a marriage.
440
00:19:42,543 --> 00:19:43,577
It's like an Asian American
The Marriage Story .
441
00:19:43,711 --> 00:19:46,246
It's tough for you
to cum all the time!
442
00:19:49,276 --> 00:19:51,713
[door slams]
443
00:19:51,943 --> 00:19:53,311
Okay. Okay.
444
00:19:53,408 --> 00:19:54,976
What is she doing?
445
00:19:57,174 --> 00:19:58,475
Hey, baby.
446
00:19:58,574 --> 00:20:00,043
You are the best mother
and content creator.
447
00:20:00,141 --> 00:20:04,012
Okay. All right. So there's--
So another sex robot here?
448
00:20:04,107 --> 00:20:05,474
You're very crafty.
449
00:20:05,573 --> 00:20:08,143
Do you want me to do the finger
thing like last time?
450
00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:09,474
I've waited all night.
451
00:20:09,573 --> 00:20:11,676
Yeah. We should probably go.
452
00:20:11,773 --> 00:20:13,975
Oh my God!
453
00:20:14,072 --> 00:20:15,607
- They're gonna have sex again.
- [Robot] Subscribe.
454
00:20:16,638 --> 00:20:18,607
[music]
455
00:20:18,706 --> 00:20:21,574
Jesus. Why am I always fucking
that sex doll like that?
456
00:20:21,672 --> 00:20:25,475
Oh, there are usually some
constants in these visions.
457
00:20:25,570 --> 00:20:29,208
Yeah. The only constant
is that I'm miserable,
458
00:20:29,303 --> 00:20:33,073
even with a nice job,
and money and a family.
459
00:20:33,169 --> 00:20:38,408
Well, I think there is one more
version of Nora you should meet.
460
00:20:40,334 --> 00:20:42,336
The shit show awaits.
461
00:20:42,435 --> 00:20:45,238
Oh, I wonder where the sex
doll's at in this location?
462
00:20:49,101 --> 00:20:51,136
- What the--
- Hey, Nora.
463
00:20:51,234 --> 00:20:55,305
- And who the hell are you?
- I'm Awkwafina.
464
00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:57,602
Who the fuck is Awkwafina?
465
00:21:00,586 --> 00:21:06,491
[music]
466
00:21:22,272 --> 00:21:24,174
[Man] Who the [bleep]
is Awkwafina?
467
00:21:53,109 --> 00:21:55,045
[music]
468
00:21:55,046 --> 00:21:57,548
♪ MTV
469
00:21:57,598 --> 00:22:02,148
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