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1
00:00:31,433 --> 00:00:33,893
Dear Lord...
2
00:00:33,903 --> 00:00:36,693
we pray that we may
win this game today.
3
00:00:36,713 --> 00:00:40,433
We ask that you give us
the strength and the courage...
4
00:00:40,443 --> 00:00:44,373
to win our second straight
state championship.
5
00:00:44,393 --> 00:00:46,473
We ask, Lord, that...
6
00:00:46,493 --> 00:00:49,033
nobody on our side
is seriously injured.
7
00:00:51,953 --> 00:00:55,003
We know in our hearts, Lord...
8
00:00:55,033 --> 00:00:57,043
that we are the best team.
9
00:00:59,703 --> 00:01:02,693
We ask that you allow us
to win this game.
10
00:01:07,873 --> 00:01:10,693
The Lord wants you to put
your foot on their balls...
11
00:01:10,713 --> 00:01:12,393
and believe in it...
12
00:01:12,413 --> 00:01:15,743
because that's
what wins football games.
13
00:01:15,753 --> 00:01:19,603
Not jumping offsides like
a bunch of wimps and faggots.
14
00:01:21,553 --> 00:01:24,133
All right, lift your heads.
Prayer's over. I talked to God.
15
00:01:24,163 --> 00:01:28,553
I'm through talking to God.
Now I'm talking to you.
16
00:01:28,563 --> 00:01:30,913
You're going to be out there
in front of your families...
17
00:01:30,933 --> 00:01:32,513
your student body.
18
00:01:32,533 --> 00:01:34,613
Every girl you ever had
a hard-on for...
19
00:01:34,643 --> 00:01:36,823
is gonna be out there today,
but you will not be going...
20
00:01:36,843 --> 00:01:38,383
to no sock hop tonight, boys.
21
00:01:38,403 --> 00:01:41,193
You will not get no honey
on your stinger tonight...
22
00:01:41,203 --> 00:01:44,833
if you don't go out there
and bust your ass.
23
00:01:44,853 --> 00:01:47,893
Because this is it.
24
00:01:47,913 --> 00:01:49,733
This is the big one.
25
00:01:52,313 --> 00:01:53,963
I want you to taste it.
26
00:01:53,983 --> 00:01:57,143
I want you to smell it, son.
27
00:02:01,423 --> 00:02:02,783
There's winners...
28
00:02:02,793 --> 00:02:04,803
and there's nothing else.
29
00:02:04,833 --> 00:02:07,763
I don't give a shit what
those pinkos over in Russia say.
30
00:02:07,773 --> 00:02:10,923
You want to be a loser,
you go live in Russia.
31
00:02:10,933 --> 00:02:14,733
I'm not a loser. I'm a winner.
32
00:02:14,743 --> 00:02:16,163
I'm an American.
33
00:02:16,183 --> 00:02:17,863
Who wants to be John Wayne?
34
00:02:17,883 --> 00:02:21,493
Who wants to go out there
and grab a root and hang on?
35
00:02:21,513 --> 00:02:23,333
Who wants to get a mean-on?
36
00:02:23,343 --> 00:02:25,273
Get a mean-on, son.
37
00:02:25,293 --> 00:02:28,333
Let me see
you get a mean-on, son!
38
00:02:28,353 --> 00:02:31,213
Now, who wants it?
I want to know! Who wants this?
39
00:02:31,223 --> 00:02:32,373
Who wants to get
a mean-on right now?
40
00:02:33,523 --> 00:02:35,923
-Who wants it?
-I want it!
41
00:03:07,463 --> 00:03:08,813
Good job, man!
42
00:03:08,833 --> 00:03:13,553
The pride of Ashcroft High,
Johnny Walker!
43
00:03:13,563 --> 00:03:14,923
Hut!
44
00:03:21,343 --> 00:03:23,383
By God,
we're playing football now!
45
00:03:23,403 --> 00:03:24,393
Yes, sir!
46
00:03:24,413 --> 00:03:26,633
Coach? It's the last game
of the season.
47
00:03:26,653 --> 00:03:29,193
Do you think I could maybe
get in for a couple of minutes?
48
00:03:29,213 --> 00:03:32,573
-You want to play?
-Yes. Please.
49
00:03:32,583 --> 00:03:33,933
No, you don't.
50
00:03:35,363 --> 00:03:37,813
Hut! Hut!
51
00:03:52,703 --> 00:03:55,863
Walker's fortieth T.D. pass
this season!
52
00:03:55,883 --> 00:03:58,423
A new state record!
53
00:03:58,443 --> 00:04:01,703
Wide! Wide set!
54
00:04:11,023 --> 00:04:13,703
Gash, give him
the punt sign, will ya?
55
00:04:19,533 --> 00:04:21,953
Walker! Kick the ball! Kick it!
56
00:04:21,963 --> 00:04:22,973
Hut!
57
00:04:36,423 --> 00:04:38,343
Another record for Walker!
58
00:04:38,353 --> 00:04:39,893
-Did you see that?
-Look at that!
59
00:04:39,923 --> 00:04:42,243
Five-second hang time?
60
00:04:48,593 --> 00:04:49,603
Pardon you.
61
00:04:52,833 --> 00:04:55,763
With that completion
to Michael Bentley...
62
00:04:55,773 --> 00:04:59,023
Walker has just set
a national high school record!
63
00:04:59,043 --> 00:05:03,323
1:35, Gibson's out of his car
and into the stadium.
64
00:05:06,013 --> 00:05:09,493
Excuse me. Shove over,
would you, please? Thanks.
65
00:05:09,513 --> 00:05:12,163
Coach...
66
00:05:12,183 --> 00:05:14,263
that offer still stands.
67
00:05:14,293 --> 00:05:16,183
My answer's still no.
68
00:05:16,193 --> 00:05:18,183
You wait for us
for the signals!
69
00:05:18,193 --> 00:05:20,113
We're calling
the plays here, Walker!
70
00:05:20,123 --> 00:05:23,343
I think the score is 52-0.
71
00:05:23,363 --> 00:05:25,363
What can we do
to get Gash in the game?
72
00:05:25,373 --> 00:05:27,753
I got it.
Let's lose five. Break!
73
00:05:27,773 --> 00:05:29,053
Break!
74
00:05:31,033 --> 00:05:32,753
Push it in!
I want another score!
75
00:05:32,773 --> 00:05:34,883
Let's go! Let's go!
76
00:05:37,943 --> 00:05:39,933
Hut! Hut!
77
00:05:39,943 --> 00:05:42,193
I'm going down.
Oh, it's the leg. I'm down.
78
00:05:43,213 --> 00:05:45,543
What's he doing?
What's Walker doing?
79
00:05:45,553 --> 00:05:48,203
I think I broke my dick!
80
00:05:49,493 --> 00:05:51,743
Oh, no, not his George.
81
00:05:51,753 --> 00:05:54,243
Walker's out.
Gash! Gash! Get me Gash!
82
00:05:54,263 --> 00:05:55,343
Right here. What's up?
83
00:05:55,363 --> 00:05:57,413
Get in the game, Gash!
Put it in the end zone.
84
00:05:57,433 --> 00:05:58,583
My first time!
85
00:05:58,603 --> 00:06:00,743
-What's the matter, son?
-I broke my dick, Coach.
86
00:06:00,763 --> 00:06:02,683
Rub some dirt on it
and get back in there.
87
00:06:02,703 --> 00:06:04,123
It's broken, I'm telling you.
88
00:06:04,143 --> 00:06:06,093
You go left.
89
00:06:06,113 --> 00:06:07,653
You go right. I'll run.
90
00:06:07,673 --> 00:06:08,683
Break!
91
00:06:12,413 --> 00:06:13,423
Hut!
92
00:06:17,083 --> 00:06:19,973
Oh, Gash! Gash!
93
00:06:19,983 --> 00:06:22,403
Throw your navel
in the ground, will ya?
94
00:06:22,423 --> 00:06:24,773
-Hey, Juicy.
-Hey, Johnny.
95
00:06:24,793 --> 00:06:26,583
Would you mind taking off
your underpants real quick...
96
00:06:26,593 --> 00:06:27,883
and go stand over there?
97
00:06:27,893 --> 00:06:30,253
-Sure. Anything for you.
-Thank you.
98
00:06:32,493 --> 00:06:36,553
2:35, cheerleader taking
her yellow panties off.
99
00:06:36,573 --> 00:06:38,153
Thank you. Over and out.
100
00:06:39,943 --> 00:06:43,423
Hey, guys, Juicy Dorfman
isn't wearing any underpants.
101
00:06:48,153 --> 00:06:50,143
SQ?
102
00:06:50,153 --> 00:06:53,143
Left, 46, on the first sound.
103
00:06:53,153 --> 00:06:54,133
Ready?
104
00:06:54,163 --> 00:06:55,143
Break!
105
00:06:55,163 --> 00:06:56,173
Break!
106
00:07:01,863 --> 00:07:03,613
Oh, I see.
107
00:07:03,623 --> 00:07:05,323
That girl's not wearing
any underwear.
108
00:07:05,333 --> 00:07:06,513
What?
109
00:07:06,533 --> 00:07:08,523
-Which one?
-Hey, check it out!
110
00:07:08,533 --> 00:07:10,153
Hut!
111
00:07:15,383 --> 00:07:17,593
Hob; mob!‘-!
112
00:07:17,613 --> 00:07:18,963
Oh, wrong.
113
00:07:26,023 --> 00:07:27,803
I see the hole!
I see the hole!
114
00:07:27,823 --> 00:07:29,713
I see--yeah!
115
00:07:39,903 --> 00:07:42,413
Ashcroft High has just won...
116
00:07:42,433 --> 00:07:45,923
their second consecutive
state football championship!
117
00:07:45,943 --> 00:07:48,763
Congratulations
to coach Wayne Hisler...
118
00:07:48,773 --> 00:07:52,363
and especially to everyone's
high school all-American...
119
00:07:52,373 --> 00:07:54,383
Johnny Walker!
120
00:08:17,703 --> 00:08:18,993
Hello?
121
00:08:19,003 --> 00:08:21,653
Hey, Johnny.
Glad I could get to you.
122
00:08:21,673 --> 00:08:23,023
This is Howard Case“.
123
00:08:23,043 --> 00:08:25,803
You were just tremendous
out there today.
124
00:08:25,813 --> 00:08:28,563
I've never seen
a better performance...
125
00:08:28,583 --> 00:08:29,833
at the high school level.
126
00:08:29,853 --> 00:08:33,363
You should go
to an Ivy League school...
127
00:08:33,383 --> 00:08:37,513
by the name of Yale University,
in my opinion, young man.
128
00:08:37,523 --> 00:08:39,773
Have you thought
about such a thing?
129
00:08:39,793 --> 00:08:41,783
Is this really you, Howard?
Howard?
130
00:08:41,793 --> 00:08:44,903
-Who is this?
-This is Howard Cosell.
131
00:08:44,933 --> 00:08:47,923
Does anybody in America
like you? Huh?
132
00:08:51,273 --> 00:08:54,353
Coach, I'm sorry.
133
00:08:54,383 --> 00:08:56,493
My boys, my boys, all right.
134
00:08:56,513 --> 00:08:58,163
That's worth a victory, huh?
135
00:08:58,183 --> 00:09:00,673
That's worth a victory.
136
00:09:03,813 --> 00:09:05,573
Johnny, listen to me, man.
137
00:09:05,593 --> 00:09:07,703
Sign with me,
I will make you a star.
138
00:09:07,723 --> 00:09:09,073
Ignore all these
other guys, man.
139
00:09:09,093 --> 00:09:10,903
They're a bunch
of athletic pimps.
140
00:09:10,923 --> 00:09:13,143
Trust me--athletic pimps.
Look at the way they dress.
141
00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:15,083
Write your own ticket!
I'll give you anything you want.
142
00:09:15,103 --> 00:09:17,183
Spring break, huh? Puerto Rico!
143
00:09:17,203 --> 00:09:19,553
Just tell me what you want,
and I'll get you two of them.
144
00:09:19,563 --> 00:09:21,113
What do you like?
You like girls?
145
00:09:21,133 --> 00:09:24,283
-I like your head.
-You got it! What else?
146
00:09:24,313 --> 00:09:26,023
Ice cream? Cultural pursuits?
147
00:09:26,043 --> 00:09:30,123
Johnny, I can offer you
TV coverage.
148
00:09:30,143 --> 00:09:32,753
I can offer you TV
every single Saturday.
149
00:09:32,773 --> 00:09:34,763
You don't need him.
150
00:09:34,783 --> 00:09:36,973
I got what you want.
I got what you need.
151
00:09:36,983 --> 00:09:39,703
We'll keep running
that style of offense, boy.
152
00:09:39,723 --> 00:09:41,733
You're gonna start right away!
Right away, you hear?
153
00:09:41,753 --> 00:09:43,703
That's what you want to do--
play football, right, boy?
154
00:09:53,193 --> 00:09:56,633
Smurfs. Smurfs. Smurf patrol.
155
00:09:56,643 --> 00:09:59,153
Hi. Thank you.
156
00:09:59,173 --> 00:10:00,893
Watch my feet. Watch the toes.
157
00:10:00,903 --> 00:10:02,483
OK. Don't I know your mom?
158
00:10:02,503 --> 00:10:04,323
What's it like being king
of the 12-year-olds?
159
00:10:04,353 --> 00:10:06,363
Georgia! What?
160
00:10:06,383 --> 00:10:07,773
Say that again?
161
00:10:07,783 --> 00:10:10,433
What's it like being king
of the 12-year-olds?
162
00:10:10,453 --> 00:10:11,833
Let me tell you something.
These girls are gonna be...
163
00:10:11,853 --> 00:10:13,633
beautiful grown women
in about two minutes.
164
00:10:13,653 --> 00:10:16,043
-You shouldn't really say that.
-Freeze!
165
00:10:16,063 --> 00:10:18,243
Move away from my daughter,
Walker!
166
00:10:18,263 --> 00:10:19,743
Don't tell me
he's still pissed off...
167
00:10:19,763 --> 00:10:21,643
'cause I brought you home
a day late?
168
00:10:21,663 --> 00:10:23,743
Don't tell me that.
Is that what happened?
169
00:10:23,763 --> 00:10:26,223
No.
170
00:10:26,233 --> 00:10:27,223
Johnny..
171
00:10:27,233 --> 00:10:28,723
What? What was it?
172
00:10:28,733 --> 00:10:30,383
It was the hickeys.
173
00:10:30,403 --> 00:10:32,353
You can't really
cover those up at all.
174
00:10:34,443 --> 00:10:36,763
-What?
-Let's give him one.
175
00:10:40,983 --> 00:10:43,473
Get your mouth off her, Walker!
176
00:10:43,483 --> 00:10:45,243
Let's go, Georgia!
177
00:10:45,253 --> 00:10:46,263
"Ow!
178
00:10:50,623 --> 00:10:52,543
I'll see you later.
179
00:10:52,553 --> 00:10:53,543
Very good.
180
00:10:53,553 --> 00:10:54,843
Do you love me?
181
00:10:57,203 --> 00:10:59,193
Thank you.
182
00:10:59,203 --> 00:11:01,013
I can't say anything
but thank you.
183
00:11:02,433 --> 00:11:05,333
-Over here, boy!
-Johnny!
184
00:11:05,343 --> 00:11:07,353
You could be going
to the Super Bowl!
185
00:11:11,573 --> 00:11:13,193
Excuse me. Excuse me.
186
00:11:13,213 --> 00:11:16,643
I'm sorry. I can't talk now.
I have to go. Watch the jacket.
187
00:11:16,653 --> 00:11:18,043
We'll talk later. OK.
188
00:11:18,053 --> 00:11:19,593
Wrong!
189
00:11:19,623 --> 00:11:22,403
Less with the lies,
more with the broads!
190
00:11:25,433 --> 00:11:26,443
Back off!
191
00:11:26,463 --> 00:11:27,913
Bye now!
192
00:11:27,933 --> 00:11:30,383
Thank you.
Thanks a lot, recruiters!
193
00:11:30,393 --> 00:11:32,313
You think those recruiters
would all want you as much...
194
00:11:32,333 --> 00:11:35,723
if they knew you were
afraid of the dark?
195
00:11:35,743 --> 00:11:37,123
I'm not afraid of the dark.
196
00:11:37,143 --> 00:11:38,993
It's OK. I'm not gonna
spill the beans...
197
00:11:39,003 --> 00:11:40,623
that you sleep
with a night-light.
198
00:11:42,143 --> 00:11:43,493
I don't need a night-light.
199
00:11:43,503 --> 00:11:47,443
Come on. Yes, you do. It's OK.
You're a punk. Accept it.
200
00:11:47,453 --> 00:11:49,703
All right, I accept it.
201
00:11:49,713 --> 00:11:51,673
So what?!
202
00:11:51,683 --> 00:11:52,933
SQ?
203
00:11:54,863 --> 00:11:55,973
OK, hit me again.
204
00:11:58,263 --> 00:11:59,303
Right here.
205
00:12:03,193 --> 00:12:05,093
I feel good now.
206
00:12:05,103 --> 00:12:08,353
Leo, it's time you and me
moved on to big-time, pal.
207
00:12:08,373 --> 00:12:10,223
-The big-time scholarships...
-UCC.
208
00:12:10,233 --> 00:12:14,053
-Big-time contacts, big deals.
-UCC is the place for you.
209
00:12:14,083 --> 00:12:16,073
Hey, did I ever tell you
about Coach Hisler's wife?
210
00:12:16,083 --> 00:12:19,033
-No. UCC.
-She has a set of chihuahuas...
211
00:12:19,213 --> 00:12:22,203
There's someone sneakin‘
212
00:12:22,213 --> 00:12:25,233
Round the corner
213
00:12:25,253 --> 00:12:27,713
Could that someone
214
00:12:27,723 --> 00:12:30,973
Be Mack the Knife?
215
00:12:30,993 --> 00:12:33,743
There's a tugboat
216
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:36,413
Down by the river,
don't you know?
217
00:12:36,433 --> 00:12:39,723
Well, the cement there
218
00:12:39,733 --> 00:12:42,553
Just a-drooping on down
219
00:12:42,563 --> 00:12:44,253
You're getting
really good, Wayne.
220
00:12:44,273 --> 00:12:46,463
I just love your singing.
221
00:12:46,473 --> 00:12:47,653
Thank you, baby.
222
00:12:47,673 --> 00:12:50,223
You know, I was reading
at the market today...
223
00:12:50,243 --> 00:12:52,693
that we all come
from another world...
224
00:12:52,713 --> 00:12:56,303
and we choose in that world who
we want to be in this world...
225
00:12:56,323 --> 00:13:00,803
and we're all connected
by a common cosmic thread.
226
00:13:00,823 --> 00:13:02,363
That's right, honey.
That's true.
227
00:13:02,383 --> 00:13:03,743
What time you going to work?
228
00:13:03,763 --> 00:13:06,373
After I make dinner for you
and clean up.
229
00:13:06,393 --> 00:13:10,823
Do you realize that we're living
nine lives simultaneously?
230
00:13:10,833 --> 00:13:12,013
Of course.
231
00:13:13,863 --> 00:13:15,653
-Listen, sweetcake?
-Yes?
232
00:13:15,673 --> 00:13:17,683
On your way back from work,
would you pick up...
233
00:13:17,703 --> 00:13:19,163
my yellow suit
from the cleaners?
234
00:13:19,173 --> 00:13:22,323
OK. No problem.
It's near that bakery...
235
00:13:22,343 --> 00:13:26,803
that bakes that black
mundle bread you love so much.
236
00:13:38,423 --> 00:13:39,713
Hello. Coach Hisler's house?
237
00:13:39,723 --> 00:13:41,213
Is he in?
238
00:13:41,223 --> 00:13:42,973
I think so.
239
00:13:42,993 --> 00:13:44,073
May I?
240
00:13:44,103 --> 00:13:47,613
Oh, sure. Just follow
the sound of the music.
241
00:13:47,633 --> 00:13:48,923
Thank you.
242
00:13:48,933 --> 00:13:50,253
Whoo, look out
243
00:13:50,273 --> 00:13:51,693
Oh, Miss Lottie Lenya
244
00:13:51,703 --> 00:13:56,263
And old Lucy Brown
245
00:13:56,283 --> 00:14:00,533
Chancellor, how are you?
Good to see you again, sir.
246
00:14:00,543 --> 00:14:02,363
How about that game today, huh?
247
00:14:02,383 --> 00:14:04,303
Nice. Walker was everything
you said he was.
248
00:14:04,323 --> 00:14:05,333
Yes.
249
00:14:05,353 --> 00:14:07,603
What do I do to get him
to go to Piermont?
250
00:14:07,623 --> 00:14:09,803
I just want you to sit down
and relax. Enjoy my home.
251
00:14:09,823 --> 00:14:12,043
You're going to have dinner
with us, aren't you?
252
00:14:12,053 --> 00:14:16,613
I don't think we have enough
salmon patties, Wayne.
253
00:14:16,633 --> 00:14:18,453
What the hey?
254
00:14:18,463 --> 00:14:21,353
Break out
the fish sticks, honey.
255
00:14:21,363 --> 00:14:22,483
Oh, OK.
256
00:14:22,503 --> 00:14:26,263
Darling. Some of that
sparkling fruit wine.
257
00:14:28,043 --> 00:14:30,393
Have a seat, please,
Chancellor.
258
00:14:30,413 --> 00:14:32,623
Look, Coach, I didn't get
to become president...
259
00:14:32,643 --> 00:14:35,573
of Piermont University
by mincing words.
260
00:14:35,583 --> 00:14:37,703
My backers
are getting impatient.
261
00:14:37,723 --> 00:14:39,603
They want success this year.
262
00:14:39,623 --> 00:14:42,663
They want to win.
I want Walker.
263
00:14:42,683 --> 00:14:45,343
I'm the key to Walker,
obviously.
264
00:14:45,363 --> 00:14:46,973
Obviously you are.
265
00:14:46,993 --> 00:14:50,423
What is it you want?
Name your price.
266
00:14:50,433 --> 00:14:53,883
I want to be the new head coach
at Piermont University.
267
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:54,903
Is that all?
268
00:14:54,943 --> 00:14:56,953
No. I want a five-year
no-cut contract...
269
00:14:56,973 --> 00:14:58,363
weekly television show...
270
00:14:58,373 --> 00:15:01,093
membership in the country club,
et cetera. All the usual perks.
271
00:15:01,103 --> 00:15:04,533
The main thing is that Walker
is going to go...
272
00:15:04,553 --> 00:15:07,703
where I tell him to go,
or he's not going anywhere.
273
00:15:07,713 --> 00:15:09,003
That's a fact.
274
00:15:09,013 --> 00:15:11,763
You can guarantee that?
275
00:15:11,783 --> 00:15:13,633
The kid loves me.
276
00:15:13,653 --> 00:15:15,913
You know, it's--.
277
00:15:15,923 --> 00:15:18,213
I'm like a father to him.
Really.
278
00:15:18,223 --> 00:15:20,873
Hisler's such an asshole.
279
00:15:22,263 --> 00:15:27,223
Johnny, I've been having all
these twisted visions lately.
280
00:15:27,233 --> 00:15:29,123
So lay one on me.
281
00:15:29,133 --> 00:15:32,253
Well, I was thinking
about developing...
282
00:15:32,273 --> 00:15:34,983
a deep personal relationship
with a psychiatrist.
283
00:15:35,013 --> 00:15:36,733
You know, very tight.
284
00:15:36,743 --> 00:15:38,753
And then one day, just while
he's complimenting me...
285
00:15:38,783 --> 00:15:40,823
on all the headway
progress I'm making...
286
00:15:40,843 --> 00:15:43,633
in the area of my obsessive
fear of torque wrenches...
287
00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:47,743
just cut him off mid-sentence
and say, "Hey, oops!
288
00:15:47,753 --> 00:15:51,303
"Why am I angry at you today?"
He gets all Germanic on me...
289
00:15:51,323 --> 00:15:53,873
and goes, "Well,
I think that it stems--"
290
00:15:53,893 --> 00:15:56,613
It stems from nothing.
That's a trick question.
291
00:15:56,633 --> 00:15:59,483
I take his Ph.D. off the wall
and beat him...
292
00:15:59,503 --> 00:16:01,753
about the head and shoulders
with it for about an hour...
293
00:16:01,763 --> 00:16:04,183
and then I whisper
softly in his ear...
294
00:16:04,213 --> 00:16:07,593
"I'd like to pay for my next
twenty visits in advance."
295
00:16:24,363 --> 00:16:27,043
Johnny, be all you can be.
296
00:16:27,063 --> 00:16:30,383
-For $81.50 a month after taxes?
-Exactly.
297
00:16:30,393 --> 00:16:32,143
No, I don't think so.
Thank you, though.
298
00:16:32,163 --> 00:16:34,343
-Notre Dame, my son.
-Father, how you doing?
299
00:16:34,373 --> 00:16:36,123
Aren't you gonna be late
for a mass or something?
300
00:16:36,143 --> 00:16:37,523
Oh, you're right. I'm sorry.
301
00:16:37,543 --> 00:16:39,893
Alabama is football.
Alabama's where you should be!
302
00:16:39,903 --> 00:16:41,913
Penn State is always
in the top ten.
303
00:16:41,943 --> 00:16:43,653
We kicked Alabama's butt
last year.
304
00:16:43,673 --> 00:16:46,103
That was one game.
It's freezing in Penn State.
305
00:16:46,113 --> 00:16:47,263
It's a normal climate.
306
00:16:47,283 --> 00:16:49,533
Normal? Normal if you're
a seal or an eskimo.
307
00:16:49,553 --> 00:16:51,263
It's good to see
the seasons change!
308
00:16:51,283 --> 00:16:53,393
It's good to see
the seasons change!
309
00:16:57,323 --> 00:16:58,783
Leo, Leo.
310
00:16:58,793 --> 00:17:01,753
My school has a buddy system.
If Johnny goes there...
311
00:17:01,763 --> 00:17:04,013
all of his buddies get
to go there, too, first class.
312
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:06,043
Boy buddies, girl buddies,
everybody.
313
00:17:06,073 --> 00:17:07,683
I'm ready for college...
314
00:17:07,703 --> 00:17:09,053
and corruption.
315
00:17:09,073 --> 00:17:10,523
My school doesn't do that, Leo.
316
00:17:10,533 --> 00:17:12,683
It just exists
in your imagination.
317
00:17:12,703 --> 00:17:14,623
Well, I have
a grand imagination.
318
00:17:15,613 --> 00:17:17,103
How about ten grand?
319
00:17:25,153 --> 00:17:26,473
Leo, more chicken?
320
00:17:26,493 --> 00:17:28,743
I'll just get the rest
to go, please.
321
00:17:28,753 --> 00:17:29,833
Right.
322
00:17:29,853 --> 00:17:32,273
Anything, Johnny, anything!
323
00:17:32,293 --> 00:17:33,673
I love you!
324
00:17:33,693 --> 00:17:35,413
Let's set a time!
325
00:17:35,433 --> 00:17:38,083
I'm free tonight!
326
00:17:40,203 --> 00:17:42,983
I can't believe the bald guy
is still here.
327
00:17:43,003 --> 00:17:44,453
It's crazy out there.
328
00:17:44,473 --> 00:17:48,233
Well, it's crazy in here, too,
but I like it.
329
00:17:48,243 --> 00:17:50,853
My lures are selling
like hotcakes.
330
00:17:50,873 --> 00:17:53,393
They especially like
my walleyed gibbler.
331
00:17:53,413 --> 00:17:56,173
- This is exciting.
-It's original, huh?
332
00:17:56,383 --> 00:17:58,433
Oh, honey, I'm proud of you.
I really am.
333
00:17:58,453 --> 00:18:00,403
You've worked hard for this
for a long time.
334
00:18:00,423 --> 00:18:01,603
Thank you, Mom.
335
00:18:01,623 --> 00:18:03,803
You know I couldn't have
done it without you.
336
00:18:03,833 --> 00:18:04,863
Yeah.
337
00:18:04,893 --> 00:18:06,943
I'm glad you know it,
'cause it's true.
338
00:18:06,963 --> 00:18:09,243
I swear one day very soon
I'm gonna work hard enough...
339
00:18:09,263 --> 00:18:11,183
that you're not gonna
have to work again, Mom.
340
00:18:11,193 --> 00:18:13,203
I don't mind working, Johnny.
341
00:18:13,233 --> 00:18:16,663
It's a decent way
to make a living.
342
00:18:16,673 --> 00:18:19,453
Well, I know you don't mind.
That's why I do.
343
00:18:19,473 --> 00:18:21,523
Where's Georgia today?
344
00:18:21,543 --> 00:18:23,323
Yeah. Where is she?
345
00:18:23,343 --> 00:18:25,203
She's grounded.
346
00:18:25,213 --> 00:18:28,203
-Why?
-For knowing me.
347
00:18:28,213 --> 00:18:30,463
Yes. I can understand that.
348
00:18:30,483 --> 00:18:33,873
Popping off, Ma, huh?
349
00:18:33,883 --> 00:18:35,343
You ready for a little
pea in the head, Ma?
350
00:18:35,363 --> 00:18:37,643
Will you stop?
No, wait. Now, don't.
351
00:18:37,663 --> 00:18:39,843
You want another one?
Here it is. Whoa.
352
00:18:39,863 --> 00:18:41,213
All right. You stop.
353
00:18:43,663 --> 00:18:47,213
All right, that's it.
No dessert. What can I do?
354
00:18:47,233 --> 00:18:49,553
So, Ray, what did you think
of the game?
355
00:18:49,573 --> 00:18:52,683
You looked goofy.
356
00:18:52,703 --> 00:18:53,853
I looked what?
357
00:18:53,883 --> 00:18:55,083
Goofy.
358
00:18:55,113 --> 00:18:57,393
You didn't look in the mirror
today. You know why?
359
00:18:57,413 --> 00:18:59,403
'Cause you don't have any teeth.
When you get some front teeth...
360
00:18:59,413 --> 00:19:00,903
then you can tell me
how goofy I look.
361
00:19:00,913 --> 00:19:04,743
Until that moment comes along,
you can't say anything, OK?
362
00:19:04,753 --> 00:19:07,143
-OK? Do you hear me?
-Yes!
363
00:19:07,153 --> 00:19:08,943
-Say, "| hear you, Johnny."
-I hear you, Johnny!
364
00:19:08,953 --> 00:19:11,703
-Say, "| hear you, big brother."
-I hear you, big brother!
365
00:19:11,723 --> 00:19:15,523
-Say, "You are my man."
-You are my man.
366
00:19:15,533 --> 00:19:17,283
No. She just ate. Now...
367
00:19:17,303 --> 00:19:18,583
But much more importantly...
368
00:19:18,603 --> 00:19:20,243
what about Leo's
first touchdown ever?
369
00:19:20,263 --> 00:19:21,513
You looked good today.
370
00:19:21,533 --> 00:19:24,083
Thank you. Once I got the right
direction going, right?
371
00:19:24,113 --> 00:19:27,793
Why don't you ever eat
at your house, Leo?
372
00:19:27,813 --> 00:19:29,093
Why?
373
00:19:29,113 --> 00:19:32,563
Well, I think it's basically
because my parents hate me...
374
00:19:32,573 --> 00:19:34,823
and they have accused me
of carrying...
375
00:19:34,853 --> 00:19:37,843
an ammonia-filled tentacle
around with me...
376
00:19:37,853 --> 00:19:39,933
which, of course, I do not!
377
00:19:39,953 --> 00:19:42,703
What is this, the funny farm?
378
00:19:43,983 --> 00:19:46,923
I can understand
why they hate you.
379
00:19:48,293 --> 00:19:49,783
Johnny, my boy, you know.
380
00:19:49,793 --> 00:19:52,723
Listen. You've got to get
organized, you know?
381
00:19:52,733 --> 00:19:54,723
Now, you've had calls
from Michigan...
382
00:19:54,743 --> 00:19:57,993
UCC, Piermont and Ol' Tex...
383
00:19:58,003 --> 00:20:01,653
LSU and Kansas and Cornell.
384
00:20:01,673 --> 00:20:04,453
What do you think, Mom?
Do I call these people back?
385
00:20:04,483 --> 00:20:09,163
Well, superstar, you can start
by clearing the table...
386
00:20:09,183 --> 00:20:11,263
and helping me with the dishes.
387
00:20:12,453 --> 00:20:13,963
Nice little reality break
from Mom there, huh?
388
00:20:13,983 --> 00:20:15,983
- Isn't that nice?
- Well, you're home now, son.
389
00:20:15,993 --> 00:20:16,983
Thank you, Gramp.
390
00:20:16,993 --> 00:20:19,953
This doesn't have a hook on it.
391
00:20:19,963 --> 00:20:21,073
And you are in trouble.
392
00:20:21,093 --> 00:20:22,743
You couldn't catch
a single monkfish...
393
00:20:22,763 --> 00:20:23,803
if you had to.
394
00:20:23,833 --> 00:20:26,653
-See you later.
-That a boy.
395
00:20:26,673 --> 00:20:28,123
A fish.
396
00:21:34,203 --> 00:21:35,783
Your family's really nice.
397
00:21:35,803 --> 00:21:38,093
Your mom's a terrible cook.
398
00:21:39,703 --> 00:21:40,883
Thank you.
399
00:21:40,903 --> 00:21:42,983
-Where are we going now?
-Georgia's.
400
00:21:43,003 --> 00:21:45,333
Really? I thought
she was grounded.
401
00:21:45,353 --> 00:21:46,933
I'm ungrounding her.
402
00:21:57,523 --> 00:21:58,743
Freeze, boy!
403
00:22:02,363 --> 00:22:05,483
I see.
It's gotta be a Rottweiler.
404
00:22:05,503 --> 00:22:08,923
There's no mistaking this.
That's no chihuahua.
405
00:22:11,533 --> 00:22:14,753
I thought her parents hated you.
It must be embarrassing.
406
00:22:14,783 --> 00:22:16,263
Yeah, well, she digs me.
407
00:22:16,283 --> 00:22:18,393
Her father is the one
who I have problems with.
408
00:22:18,413 --> 00:22:19,733
She'll come around.
409
00:22:22,043 --> 00:22:24,263
Mrs. Elkans, good evening.
410
00:22:24,293 --> 00:22:26,243
Is Georgia home?
411
00:22:26,253 --> 00:22:31,113
Yes...and that's where
she's going to stay.
412
00:22:33,193 --> 00:22:35,483
I just felt the love beam.
413
00:22:35,503 --> 00:22:37,013
She loves me.
414
00:22:45,313 --> 00:22:47,263
Freeze, dirtbags!
415
00:22:47,273 --> 00:22:50,663
I don't want you sniffing
around my daughter, Walker.
416
00:22:50,673 --> 00:22:51,793
What's shaking, Chief?
417
00:22:51,813 --> 00:22:54,233
Chief, how the hell was patrol?
418
00:22:54,253 --> 00:22:56,243
You're in big trouble, Walker.
419
00:22:56,253 --> 00:22:59,003
Chief, you can't keep me
away from your daughter.
420
00:22:59,023 --> 00:23:01,603
I'm gonna keep you away
from her forever.
421
00:23:01,623 --> 00:23:03,073
How you gonna do that, Chief?
422
00:23:03,083 --> 00:23:05,713
We're gonna settle this thing
once and for all.
423
00:23:05,733 --> 00:23:08,183
I can't just beat the shit
out of you...
424
00:23:08,193 --> 00:23:10,273
so we're gonna have us
a little game of football...
425
00:23:10,293 --> 00:23:11,753
and I'm gonna hurt you.
426
00:23:11,763 --> 00:23:14,483
I'm gonna play
with these two men right here.
427
00:23:14,503 --> 00:23:15,793
These men right here?
428
00:23:15,803 --> 00:23:18,593
OK, hold on. Let me get
a head count for a second.
429
00:23:18,603 --> 00:23:20,423
You got one, two,
three, four.
430
00:23:20,443 --> 00:23:23,153
That's a little unfair,
isn't it?
431
00:23:23,173 --> 00:23:25,293
Well, then you can play
with the big cheese.
432
00:23:25,313 --> 00:23:27,463
Oh, now I like it.
Chief, one last thing.
433
00:23:27,483 --> 00:23:30,963
Once we kick your butt,
Georgia's mine.
434
00:23:30,983 --> 00:23:32,903
Well, then,
just to make it fair...
435
00:23:32,913 --> 00:23:36,473
you're gonna get to play
with one hand behind your back.
436
00:23:36,493 --> 00:23:38,003
Isn't that cute?
437
00:23:38,023 --> 00:23:40,413
Chief, you don't play
with one hand, do you?
438
00:23:43,903 --> 00:23:45,853
Let's bless the ball.
439
00:23:45,873 --> 00:23:48,983
A little pooper
for the Troopers.
440
00:24:00,243 --> 00:24:02,733
Rotten little piss-ants.
441
00:24:03,883 --> 00:24:05,203
Go, John!
442
00:24:08,393 --> 00:24:11,643
Cheerleaders? Cheerleaders?
443
00:24:11,653 --> 00:24:12,803
Run!
444
00:24:14,103 --> 00:24:15,413
I got it, I got it.
445
00:24:15,433 --> 00:24:16,823
Luther!
446
00:24:45,063 --> 00:24:46,673
Can I see some I.D., please?
447
00:24:51,863 --> 00:24:54,113
Nice catch, Cooper.
448
00:24:56,973 --> 00:24:59,723
Yay, Troopers!
449
00:24:59,743 --> 00:25:02,063
Get 'em out of here.
450
00:25:02,073 --> 00:25:03,963
Oh, my God.
451
00:25:03,983 --> 00:25:04,993
Hut!
452
00:25:07,753 --> 00:25:09,893
Hey, fat man, get out of here.
453
00:25:09,913 --> 00:25:11,463
I'm out of here.
454
00:25:18,423 --> 00:25:21,173
Look at him go.
Look at the chief.
455
00:25:21,193 --> 00:25:22,583
Wait a second.
456
00:25:22,593 --> 00:25:24,273
That's a $20 ball.
That's a game ball.
457
00:25:24,303 --> 00:25:26,313
Let's get him.
458
00:25:34,983 --> 00:25:38,833
It started last weekend
459
00:25:38,843 --> 00:25:41,563
At the Yale-Harvard game
460
00:25:41,583 --> 00:25:45,173
10:38. This movie is shit.
461
00:25:45,193 --> 00:25:49,233
Girl, I saw your beaver flash
462
00:25:49,253 --> 00:25:54,113
I'll never be the same
463
00:25:54,133 --> 00:25:57,683
Oh, no
464
00:26:00,663 --> 00:26:05,933
You gave me a soul kiss
465
00:26:05,943 --> 00:26:10,233
Oh, it sure was grand
466
00:26:10,243 --> 00:26:13,593
Johnny,
now that I'm homeless...
467
00:26:13,613 --> 00:26:15,433
what do you plan to do with me?
468
00:26:15,453 --> 00:26:17,033
I'm gonna love you.
469
00:26:18,723 --> 00:26:20,713
And I'm gonna marry you.
470
00:26:22,753 --> 00:26:27,113
And that should take care
of about sixty years.
471
00:26:27,133 --> 00:26:29,643
Is that a threat or a promise?
472
00:26:29,663 --> 00:26:32,773
That's a threat.
473
00:26:32,793 --> 00:26:34,913
I'm getting old, though.
474
00:26:34,943 --> 00:26:36,293
Yeah, real old.
475
00:26:36,303 --> 00:26:37,623
I'm serious.
476
00:26:37,643 --> 00:26:40,563
Next thing you know,
I'll be on the beach...
477
00:26:40,573 --> 00:26:45,503
with that big belly,
sporting the bikini underwear...
478
00:26:45,513 --> 00:26:46,763
just walking.
479
00:26:48,783 --> 00:26:50,673
Then comes gray hair.
480
00:26:50,683 --> 00:26:54,303
Then comes ear hair,
coming out of my ears.
481
00:26:54,323 --> 00:26:57,143
Then comes white hair.
Then comes no hair.
482
00:26:57,163 --> 00:26:58,913
Then comes no teeth.
483
00:26:58,923 --> 00:27:02,143
Then, boom,
you're 70 years old.
484
00:27:02,163 --> 00:27:03,773
Or 80.
485
00:27:03,793 --> 00:27:06,383
Ooh, nature.
486
00:27:06,403 --> 00:27:08,393
I'll be there.
487
00:27:20,313 --> 00:27:23,533
You kids having a good time?
488
00:27:26,293 --> 00:27:28,903
Hi, John. Johnny Ballgame.
489
00:27:28,923 --> 00:27:31,473
All right. Now, I don't mean
to interrupt you.
490
00:27:31,493 --> 00:27:33,243
I just want you
to know, John...
491
00:27:33,253 --> 00:27:36,653
that there's a lot of phony hype
with all these schools.
492
00:27:36,663 --> 00:27:38,853
Now, I know you better
than you know yourself...
493
00:27:38,863 --> 00:27:42,453
and right now the best situation
for you is Piermont.
494
00:27:42,463 --> 00:27:44,793
Oh, yeah, Coach?
495
00:27:44,813 --> 00:27:46,123
-Really.
-Yeah?
496
00:27:46,143 --> 00:27:49,103
Can I tell them you'll come down
for a visit this weekend?
497
00:27:49,113 --> 00:27:50,123
Coach.
498
00:27:52,543 --> 00:27:56,413
You'd be my horse
if you never even ran a race.
499
00:27:56,423 --> 00:27:58,413
OK, I'll be there.
500
00:27:58,423 --> 00:28:00,603
-Johnny Ballgame.
-OK.
501
00:28:00,623 --> 00:28:03,043
I'll have 'em send you
a plane ticket.
502
00:28:03,053 --> 00:28:06,143
You know I've always been
fond of you, kid.
503
00:28:06,163 --> 00:28:07,443
Thank you, Coach.
504
00:28:07,463 --> 00:28:10,243
I'm fond of your Pacer.
505
00:28:10,263 --> 00:28:11,303
Thank you.
506
00:28:11,333 --> 00:28:12,873
I'm most fond of it.
507
00:28:12,893 --> 00:28:15,293
Hey, you could have
one of these someday.
508
00:28:15,303 --> 00:28:16,813
Don't tease me, Coach.
509
00:28:22,343 --> 00:28:24,803
That's the last damn school
I'd ever visit in my life.
510
00:28:24,813 --> 00:28:27,333
Johnny, why are you visiting
all these schools?
511
00:28:29,353 --> 00:28:31,463
I thought we planned
to go to State...
512
00:28:31,483 --> 00:28:33,633
to be together.
513
00:28:35,493 --> 00:28:37,573
I can't just ignore
the opportunity...
514
00:28:37,593 --> 00:28:41,143
to go see schools,
to see the country.
515
00:28:41,163 --> 00:28:43,373
You wouldn't want that.
516
00:28:45,603 --> 00:28:48,393
Come on. When you get
that look on your face--
517
00:28:48,403 --> 00:28:49,553
Let me get a kiss, please.
518
00:28:49,573 --> 00:28:51,753
Like, let me get
a Georgia fish kiss.
519
00:28:51,773 --> 00:28:54,223
Come get it.
520
00:28:57,113 --> 00:28:58,503
Come get it?
521
00:29:00,013 --> 00:29:01,403
I will.
522
00:29:24,443 --> 00:29:26,493
It's the way to travel,
ain't it, soldier?
523
00:29:26,513 --> 00:29:28,503
Huh? You see
the country here and...
524
00:29:28,513 --> 00:29:31,333
first-class bucket seats.
525
00:29:31,343 --> 00:29:33,353
The price is right, too, huh?
526
00:29:36,423 --> 00:29:39,003
What are you, a private?
527
00:29:39,023 --> 00:29:42,063
Hey, I'm trying to eat.
You mind?
528
00:29:42,083 --> 00:29:44,043
Hey, this is a family bus here.
529
00:29:44,053 --> 00:29:47,283
Hey, Slim.
Hey, I'm trying to eat.
530
00:29:47,293 --> 00:29:50,883
Hey, Slim.
Knock it off, will you?
531
00:30:02,103 --> 00:30:04,623
I wonder if that's
the Ol' Tex plane.
532
00:30:04,653 --> 00:30:06,363
Have you seen a lot
of commercial airlines...
533
00:30:06,383 --> 00:30:08,163
that look like
a flying horny toad?
534
00:30:08,183 --> 00:30:09,223
No.
535
00:30:19,623 --> 00:30:22,443
Get off that. No. Please.
536
00:30:26,233 --> 00:30:29,093
-Hi. How y'all doing?
-How you doing? Good to see you.
537
00:30:29,103 --> 00:30:32,063
My name's Tex Wade. I'm gonna be
your host for the weekend.
538
00:30:32,073 --> 00:30:34,613
I'm gonna make sure
you get everything you want...
539
00:30:34,643 --> 00:30:36,393
from your visit to Ol' Tex.
540
00:30:36,413 --> 00:30:39,763
Well, thank you, Tex.
You got a lot of style, Tex.
541
00:30:39,783 --> 00:30:43,433
How about a little something
to blur your vision, Johnny?
542
00:30:43,443 --> 00:30:46,103
- No, thanks, Tex.
- Well, then hop in.
543
00:30:46,123 --> 00:30:48,273
OK. Bye, Georgia.
544
00:30:48,293 --> 00:30:50,373
Johnny, be good.
545
00:30:53,753 --> 00:30:56,153
Come on in, Tex.
546
00:30:56,163 --> 00:30:58,243
Georgia, can you see his boots?
547
00:30:59,933 --> 00:31:01,253
See you, Georgia.
548
00:31:04,273 --> 00:31:05,693
Just kidding, Tex.
549
00:31:05,713 --> 00:31:07,563
Aw, man!
550
00:31:19,923 --> 00:31:21,913
Where is that punk?
551
00:31:21,923 --> 00:31:23,433
Excuse me?
552
00:31:23,453 --> 00:31:25,743
I'm not talking to you, lady.
553
00:31:25,763 --> 00:31:27,113
What a jerk.
554
00:31:32,863 --> 00:31:36,353
Thinks his time is more valuable
than mine, I guess.
555
00:31:36,373 --> 00:31:39,553
Probably stroking
his muskrat somewhere.
556
00:31:43,773 --> 00:31:45,363
Sit down, Coach.
557
00:31:45,383 --> 00:31:47,133
Oh, thank you.
558
00:31:48,653 --> 00:31:51,033
You're late. Where's the kid?
559
00:31:51,053 --> 00:31:54,663
They sprung a math test on him.
560
00:31:54,693 --> 00:31:55,943
You believe that?
561
00:31:55,963 --> 00:31:57,773
He'll be flying down
a little later.
562
00:31:57,793 --> 00:32:00,013
Actually, I should
give him a little call.
563
00:32:00,023 --> 00:32:01,533
Use the phone
back there, please.
564
00:32:01,563 --> 00:32:03,013
Yeah.
565
00:32:03,023 --> 00:32:04,983
You should have seen
that airport.
566
00:32:05,003 --> 00:32:06,153
What a madhouse.
567
00:32:07,203 --> 00:32:09,783
It's a beautiful office,
Chancellor.
568
00:32:09,803 --> 00:32:11,983
Not too shabby.
569
00:32:13,233 --> 00:32:15,203
John, how are you?
570
00:32:16,183 --> 00:32:17,393
What's the matter?
571
00:32:17,413 --> 00:32:19,193
Well, that's terrible.
572
00:32:19,213 --> 00:32:21,363
Listen.
Don't worry about a thing.
573
00:32:21,383 --> 00:32:23,633
We'll just reschedule
the meeting, OK?
574
00:32:23,643 --> 00:32:26,443
I know you want
to come here with me.
575
00:32:26,453 --> 00:32:27,963
You haven't hurt your chances.
576
00:32:27,993 --> 00:32:31,033
Now, look. As soon as I get
off the airplane...
577
00:32:31,053 --> 00:32:32,843
I'm coming right over
to see you.
578
00:32:32,853 --> 00:32:35,353
I love you, too, son.
579
00:32:35,363 --> 00:32:36,413
Bye-bye.
580
00:32:37,733 --> 00:32:39,223
That's a great kid.
581
00:33:07,863 --> 00:33:11,843
I want you to feel
right at home, like family.
582
00:33:11,863 --> 00:33:14,543
Like this was
your very own ranch.
583
00:33:14,573 --> 00:33:17,033
Look, this comes straight
from the heart, John.
584
00:33:17,043 --> 00:33:19,293
Everybody here loves you.
585
00:33:19,303 --> 00:33:21,293
You see these long-stemmed
American beauties here?
586
00:33:21,303 --> 00:33:22,923
They're all for you.
They're yours.
587
00:33:22,943 --> 00:33:25,563
That grass is yours.
This whole shindig is yours.
588
00:33:25,583 --> 00:33:28,503
Them trees are yours.
Hell, that lake is yours.
589
00:33:28,513 --> 00:33:30,023
Is this part
of the campus, Tex?
590
00:33:30,053 --> 00:33:32,233
You could call it
part of the campus, Johnny.
591
00:33:32,253 --> 00:33:35,743
You come to Ol' Tex, you can
call it anything you want.
592
00:33:35,763 --> 00:33:36,973
I love Ol' Tex.
593
00:33:36,993 --> 00:33:39,783
Margarita, Mr. Wade?
-Don't mind if we do, darling.
594
00:33:39,793 --> 00:33:40,903
Here you go.
595
00:33:40,923 --> 00:33:42,813
Never had one of these.
596
00:33:42,823 --> 00:33:46,723
Shit. Everybody drinks
margaritas at Ol' Tex.
597
00:33:46,733 --> 00:33:48,623
Feisty little filly, ain't she?
598
00:33:48,633 --> 00:33:50,993
My wife says they're medicinal.
599
00:33:51,003 --> 00:33:52,253
The ride has started!
600
00:33:52,273 --> 00:33:53,693
He's out of the chute.
601
00:33:53,703 --> 00:33:55,793
He's riding that--
602
00:33:55,813 --> 00:33:57,203
B.B., what's shaking?
603
00:33:57,213 --> 00:33:59,793
Come on, break yourself loose
and say hi to Johnny Walker.
604
00:33:59,813 --> 00:34:02,433
Johnny, captain of the team,
Bad Breath Banister.
605
00:34:02,443 --> 00:34:03,763
Tough duty, B.B.
606
00:34:03,793 --> 00:34:05,603
That boy's breath
would gag a maggot.
607
00:34:05,623 --> 00:34:07,633
I know it, Tex,
but he's gotta be...
608
00:34:08,693 --> 00:34:10,403
Ladies and gents...
609
00:34:10,423 --> 00:34:13,503
can I have your attention
for one minute?
610
00:34:13,523 --> 00:34:16,113
I want to introduce to you...
611
00:34:16,133 --> 00:34:19,453
five of the most sought-after
football players...
612
00:34:19,463 --> 00:34:22,393
in the entire country.
613
00:34:22,403 --> 00:34:24,413
Boys, come on now.
614
00:34:24,443 --> 00:34:25,833
Step up here.
615
00:34:30,573 --> 00:34:33,293
We want you! We want you!
616
00:34:33,313 --> 00:34:35,273
And you're gonna get 'em!
617
00:34:35,283 --> 00:34:37,203
This here is Flick Weaver...
618
00:34:37,223 --> 00:34:38,763
Pete Andropolous...
619
00:34:38,783 --> 00:34:40,973
Benny Figg...
620
00:34:40,983 --> 00:34:43,913
and that hunk
of Mexican-Samoan man flesh...
621
00:34:43,933 --> 00:34:45,943
Jose Fopupu.
622
00:34:45,963 --> 00:34:49,543
And last, but not least,
Johnny "Rocket Arm" Walker.
623
00:34:49,563 --> 00:34:52,913
We want you! We want you!
624
00:34:52,933 --> 00:34:56,363
Hail all to Ol' Tex
625
00:34:56,373 --> 00:34:59,793
Let the spirit lead
626
00:34:59,803 --> 00:35:03,193
Hail all to Ol' Tex
627
00:35:03,203 --> 00:35:06,573
On to victory
628
00:35:06,583 --> 00:35:10,973
Our minds and hearts
are with you
629
00:35:10,983 --> 00:35:15,883
Your hallowed halls we praise
630
00:35:15,893 --> 00:35:18,903
Hail all to Ol' Tex
631
00:35:18,923 --> 00:35:23,613
All the live-long day
632
00:35:40,483 --> 00:35:41,933
Ol' Tex is great.
633
00:35:41,943 --> 00:35:45,413
Yeah, but it can't come close
to the money Piermont offered.
634
00:35:45,423 --> 00:35:47,033
Man, only that
junk bond bullshit.
635
00:35:47,053 --> 00:35:48,743
I'm splitting.
636
00:35:48,753 --> 00:35:50,113
Where are you going?
637
00:35:50,123 --> 00:35:52,013
I'm going to get some Chinese.
638
00:35:52,023 --> 00:35:53,603
Man, ain't you full yet,
brother?
639
00:35:53,623 --> 00:35:56,753
I'm not talking about food.
I told Tex I'd only come...
640
00:35:56,763 --> 00:35:58,813
to visit if he got me
two Chinese girls.
641
00:35:58,833 --> 00:36:00,823
-Yo, Slick.
-He did!
642
00:36:00,833 --> 00:36:03,223
Poontang foo-yang, hoss.
643
00:36:03,233 --> 00:36:07,633
We're gonna show you
a real good time.
644
00:36:07,643 --> 00:36:08,993
How you doing, Carmen?
645
00:36:09,013 --> 00:36:11,003
I'm glad to see you.
Ralph, what's up with you, man?
646
00:36:11,013 --> 00:36:12,693
How you doing?
How's it feeling, man?
647
00:36:12,713 --> 00:36:14,593
Yeah? Things looking up?
648
00:36:14,623 --> 00:36:16,073
Aw, the stock market's down.
649
00:36:16,083 --> 00:36:18,133
Stocks are down, huh?
How's your wife, man?
650
00:36:18,153 --> 00:36:19,143
Oh, fair.
651
00:36:19,153 --> 00:36:20,763
I need a partner.
652
00:36:20,783 --> 00:36:22,473
-Still picking pockets, man?
-Yeah.
653
00:36:30,333 --> 00:36:33,343
I'm here to tell you
that it is my responsibility...
654
00:36:33,363 --> 00:36:36,763
to welcome you
to the fold of Ol' Tex.
655
00:36:36,773 --> 00:36:41,163
Sort of like a queen bee
with a hive...
656
00:36:41,173 --> 00:36:42,783
and I never miss.
657
00:36:42,803 --> 00:36:45,633
I got me a player
in every class.
658
00:36:47,813 --> 00:36:52,173
In order to prepare you
for tonight's experience...
659
00:36:52,183 --> 00:36:54,263
we need to do a little
hot heart exercise.
660
00:36:54,293 --> 00:36:56,373
Now I'm gonna send you
some energy.
661
00:36:57,993 --> 00:36:59,273
Do you feel it?
662
00:36:59,293 --> 00:37:00,743
Do you feel it?
663
00:37:00,763 --> 00:37:02,573
I feel it. I feel good.
664
00:37:02,593 --> 00:37:05,113
-Do you feel the heat?
-I feel the heat.
665
00:37:05,133 --> 00:37:07,493
OK, OK. I feel it, too.
666
00:37:07,503 --> 00:37:08,993
OK, now.
667
00:37:09,003 --> 00:37:12,253
How'd you like to go
visit our campus?
668
00:37:12,273 --> 00:37:14,313
Where the hell
is that campus, by the way?
669
00:37:14,343 --> 00:37:16,463
Well, I'm glad you asked...
670
00:37:16,483 --> 00:37:18,693
because I'm gonna
take you there right now.
671
00:37:18,713 --> 00:37:19,723
Thank you, ma'am.
672
00:37:19,743 --> 00:37:24,763
Well, let us grab
our drinks and vamoose.
673
00:37:24,793 --> 00:37:26,173
Ooh, numero uno.
674
00:37:28,023 --> 00:37:30,103
I'm going to show you,
you lucky boy...
675
00:37:30,123 --> 00:37:33,443
why they call us
the Horny Toads.
676
00:37:33,453 --> 00:37:37,253
Why, darling, this is far more
than a football team.
677
00:37:37,263 --> 00:37:38,583
Armadillo.
678
00:37:38,603 --> 00:37:40,783
I mean, we have a very fine
medical program...
679
00:37:40,803 --> 00:37:43,953
in which many operators
come out successfully.
680
00:37:43,973 --> 00:37:45,043
Oh, is that right?
681
00:37:45,073 --> 00:37:46,823
Well, you understand
the word "operator"?
682
00:37:46,843 --> 00:37:47,833
Not at all.
683
00:37:47,843 --> 00:37:49,853
-Was that your hand?
-That was yours.
684
00:37:49,873 --> 00:37:52,953
Oh, well,
that was my hand, darling.
685
00:37:52,973 --> 00:37:57,813
I thought it was a pillow,
but I can see I was mistaken.
686
00:37:57,823 --> 00:38:00,973
And as you can see,
we have a very fine library.
687
00:38:00,983 --> 00:38:02,233
Right. I can see that.
688
00:38:02,253 --> 00:38:05,613
Well, we'll see
the library now.
689
00:38:07,233 --> 00:38:08,813
Excuse me.
690
00:38:14,673 --> 00:38:18,153
Listen, if you're
not interested in her...
691
00:38:18,173 --> 00:38:22,183
I may know someone
a little more your speed.
692
00:38:25,853 --> 00:38:28,173
Now, darling...
693
00:38:28,183 --> 00:38:32,663
I thought this would be
a more intimate place to dine.
694
00:38:32,683 --> 00:38:34,173
A little more spacious.
695
00:38:34,193 --> 00:38:36,513
I can't believe
the size of this campus.
696
00:38:36,523 --> 00:38:38,843
- It's huge.
- Well, you bet.
697
00:38:38,863 --> 00:38:41,073
They're all gonna be saying it--
"Go, Johnny, go."
698
00:38:41,093 --> 00:38:44,673
In the fall, 80,000 people will
be cheering you on, darling.
699
00:38:44,703 --> 00:38:46,193
Johnny Walker!
700
00:38:46,203 --> 00:38:49,883
And I can guarantee you
something, sweetheart.
701
00:38:49,903 --> 00:38:51,253
It will be nothing...
702
00:38:51,273 --> 00:38:53,763
like the performance
I'm about to give.
703
00:38:55,713 --> 00:38:57,033
Oh, no.
704
00:39:00,213 --> 00:39:01,633
Oh. Ouch.
705
00:39:01,643 --> 00:39:02,633
Oh, boink.
706
00:39:02,643 --> 00:39:04,063
Thank you so much.
707
00:39:04,093 --> 00:39:05,373
Matter of fact...
708
00:39:05,393 --> 00:39:07,973
I should start abusing
that term-thank you--
709
00:39:07,993 --> 00:39:11,413
because it can get me
in and out of more situations...
710
00:39:11,423 --> 00:39:13,173
with smooth sincerity.
711
00:39:14,663 --> 00:39:16,483
Absolutely the best thing
I could say...
712
00:39:16,503 --> 00:39:17,923
is thank you right now.
713
00:39:17,933 --> 00:39:19,783
Thank you and...
714
00:39:19,803 --> 00:39:21,793
well, thank you. Thank you.
715
00:39:21,803 --> 00:39:23,283
Darling, you talk too much.
716
00:39:23,303 --> 00:39:24,783
Wait a minute. No, thank you.
717
00:39:24,813 --> 00:39:26,823
See, I'm not the type
of guy who thinks--
718
00:39:26,843 --> 00:39:28,853
-Joe Bob!
-Yo!
719
00:39:28,873 --> 00:39:31,293
Tell 'em about
the Ol' Tex baby dolls...
720
00:39:31,313 --> 00:39:35,303
and how they like to sneak
in the locker room at halftime.
721
00:39:35,323 --> 00:39:37,313
Lord have mercy, boys.
722
00:39:37,323 --> 00:39:40,313
We spend $20,000 a month on
these pretty little fillies...
723
00:39:40,323 --> 00:39:42,813
just for the football
program alone.
724
00:39:42,823 --> 00:39:44,433
You gonna like it here.
725
00:39:44,463 --> 00:39:48,823
Please stop. Stop.
I--thank you very much.
726
00:39:48,833 --> 00:39:51,823
Miss, look, thank you. No.
You're making this hard enough.
727
00:39:51,833 --> 00:39:53,183
Please stop.
728
00:39:54,943 --> 00:39:57,693
Jose, come on down here, boy.
I wanna show you your future.
729
00:39:57,703 --> 00:39:58,923
Ride 'em, cowboy!
730
00:39:58,943 --> 00:40:00,933
Speaking of luxury,
if my eyes don't deceive me...
731
00:40:00,943 --> 00:40:02,823
that's a boy getting
his knob polished...
732
00:40:02,843 --> 00:40:04,523
right there
on the fifty-yard line.
733
00:40:04,553 --> 00:40:05,633
Say what?
734
00:40:05,653 --> 00:40:08,733
I gotta go, you understand?
735
00:40:08,753 --> 00:40:11,763
Oh, wait! Where are you--
Don't leave!
736
00:40:11,783 --> 00:40:14,503
And |--stop!
Stop! Let me go.
737
00:40:14,523 --> 00:40:17,173
Oh, I gotta put this up
on the scoreboard...
738
00:40:17,193 --> 00:40:18,683
see it a little clearer.
739
00:40:19,893 --> 00:40:23,403
I have to go.
No, I'm not a homosexual.
740
00:40:23,423 --> 00:40:25,353
I have to go.
741
00:40:25,373 --> 00:40:26,853
No, you don't.
742
00:40:26,873 --> 00:40:29,363
By God. I'll be dipped
in dog shit.
743
00:40:29,373 --> 00:40:30,853
That's Johnny Walker.
744
00:40:30,873 --> 00:40:32,353
What the--
745
00:40:32,373 --> 00:40:35,203
Shit. That's my wife!
746
00:40:35,213 --> 00:40:36,663
That's your wife?
747
00:40:36,683 --> 00:40:39,193
Who said that? Wait a minute.
Please. You have a husband?
748
00:40:39,213 --> 00:40:40,863
I'm getting out of here now.
This is it, and I'm out.
749
00:40:40,883 --> 00:40:43,733
And put those tits away.
This was no med school.
750
00:40:43,743 --> 00:40:45,743
-This was not a library!
-I wanna play ball!
751
00:40:45,753 --> 00:40:46,903
I have to go!
752
00:40:46,923 --> 00:40:49,883
I won't put away my tits
before you get back here!
753
00:40:49,893 --> 00:40:51,883
Come back here, you |i|' boy!
754
00:40:51,893 --> 00:40:53,373
I gotta go! No, no!
755
00:40:53,393 --> 00:40:55,913
Come back here!
I can make you feel good!
756
00:41:04,343 --> 00:41:06,763
Get your butt
in this car, boy! Now!
757
00:41:06,773 --> 00:41:08,263
Come on, let's go!
758
00:41:08,273 --> 00:41:09,763
You wanna go? Get in!
759
00:41:11,743 --> 00:41:13,733
Hey, don't be doing
that to the paint!
760
00:41:13,743 --> 00:41:16,243
Tex'll have my behind for that.
761
00:41:16,253 --> 00:41:18,433
Don't be doing that.
Get in. Come on.
762
00:41:24,363 --> 00:41:26,783
Oh, so this is
the medical school.
763
00:41:43,753 --> 00:41:46,033
Hey, boys, come on down here!
764
00:41:46,053 --> 00:41:48,563
Got the entire front row
for y'all!
765
00:41:57,263 --> 00:41:58,773
Oh, my gosh!
766
00:41:58,793 --> 00:41:59,903
It's looking very good!
767
00:41:59,923 --> 00:42:00,933
Oh, no.
768
00:42:32,353 --> 00:42:34,343
Sure was nice of 0|‘ Tex
to let us use his car.
769
00:42:34,363 --> 00:42:37,513
Goddamn! It was nice of him
to give us his wife!
770
00:42:40,063 --> 00:42:42,753
- Fill 'er up?
- Yes, sir, with beer.
771
00:42:42,763 --> 00:42:44,223
HEY-
772
00:42:44,243 --> 00:42:46,393
Get you guys a beer
or maybe two.
773
00:42:47,873 --> 00:42:49,193
How you doing?
774
00:42:49,213 --> 00:42:52,033
-Doing good. How you doing?
-Good, good.
775
00:42:52,043 --> 00:42:54,593
You going to play football
at Ol' Tex?
776
00:42:54,623 --> 00:42:56,873
Oh, I don't know yet.
777
00:42:56,883 --> 00:42:59,873
You know, I used to be
a football player.
778
00:42:59,883 --> 00:43:02,303
They said I would've
been all-American...
779
00:43:02,323 --> 00:43:04,363
if I hadn't hurt my leg.
780
00:43:05,833 --> 00:43:07,313
What happened?
781
00:43:07,333 --> 00:43:09,823
Did you go to Ol' Tex?
782
00:43:09,833 --> 00:43:12,183
I was going to, but...
783
00:43:12,193 --> 00:43:14,823
I never got the chance.
784
00:43:14,843 --> 00:43:16,833
After they took
my scholarship away...
785
00:43:16,843 --> 00:43:18,323
I had to quit school.
786
00:43:18,343 --> 00:43:19,823
But...
787
00:43:19,843 --> 00:43:22,623
Ol' Tex took care of me,
got me this job.
788
00:43:26,053 --> 00:43:27,693
I ain't complaining.
789
00:43:34,723 --> 00:43:35,843
HEY-
790
00:43:35,863 --> 00:43:37,853
- Yeah, buddy.
- Party!
791
00:43:37,863 --> 00:43:40,043
Yeah! Gonna party tonight!
792
00:43:44,873 --> 00:43:47,123
What's this stuff, man?
793
00:43:51,233 --> 00:43:52,413
What is it?
794
00:43:56,383 --> 00:43:58,633
That's Texas sushi, boy.
795
00:43:58,643 --> 00:44:00,693
Forget you, man.
796
00:44:05,653 --> 00:44:07,303
Come on. We're out of here.
797
00:44:07,323 --> 00:44:08,813
Let's jam.
798
00:44:08,823 --> 00:44:09,863
Move it out! All right.
799
00:44:27,473 --> 00:44:28,983
There he is!
800
00:44:29,013 --> 00:44:31,763
Hey, Johnny,
why'd you visit Ol' Tex?
801
00:44:31,773 --> 00:44:33,993
I need silence.
I need silence.
802
00:44:34,023 --> 00:44:36,703
Why'd you go there
in the first place?
803
00:44:36,723 --> 00:44:38,713
Come on, you're smarter
than that, Johnny.
804
00:44:38,723 --> 00:44:40,033
I don't know. I don't know.
805
00:44:40,053 --> 00:44:43,703
Until you signed your letter,
nothing else means squat.
806
00:44:46,563 --> 00:44:48,173
Hey. Hello there.
807
00:44:48,193 --> 00:44:50,553
Hi, honey.
808
00:44:50,563 --> 00:44:52,553
How was the campus?
809
00:44:52,563 --> 00:44:54,013
The campus.
810
00:44:54,043 --> 00:44:57,053
Right. It was nice, Mom.
811
00:44:57,073 --> 00:44:59,893
Yeah, it was nice.
It really was a nice campus.
812
00:44:59,903 --> 00:45:02,483
Well, you think of Ol' Tex as
just a football school, right?
813
00:45:02,503 --> 00:45:03,723
And in actuality...
814
00:45:03,743 --> 00:45:07,363
they have the finest
pre-med school in the country.
815
00:45:07,383 --> 00:45:10,303
Really. Just a fierce--
it was a beautiful setup.
816
00:45:10,313 --> 00:45:12,803
Yeah, it was nice.
It really was.
817
00:45:12,813 --> 00:45:16,973
Listen, something wonderful
happened while you were away.
818
00:45:16,993 --> 00:45:19,503
This fella calls up
on the telephone, see...
819
00:45:19,523 --> 00:45:22,983
and he orders 10,000
walleyed gibblers.
820
00:45:22,993 --> 00:45:24,413
Apparently
he gives them away...
821
00:45:24,433 --> 00:45:26,013
on his late-night
television show...
822
00:45:26,033 --> 00:45:29,653
like those Veg-a-matics or those
spiffy little fishing rods...
823
00:45:29,673 --> 00:45:32,823
that turn into can openers.
824
00:45:32,833 --> 00:45:36,823
We could make a small fortune
on this deal, you know?
825
00:45:36,843 --> 00:45:38,833
That's excellent, Gramp.
826
00:45:38,843 --> 00:45:40,833
Yeah. So he called?
827
00:45:40,843 --> 00:45:43,833
The fella says
so long as they sell...
828
00:45:43,853 --> 00:45:45,843
the orders
will just keep coming in.
829
00:45:45,853 --> 00:45:48,843
You know, we could maybe
buy a larger house.
830
00:45:48,853 --> 00:45:51,903
That'll really catch
a lot of fish.
831
00:45:52,093 --> 00:45:53,973
- Hi, Johnny.
- Hey, Monica.
832
00:45:54,003 --> 00:45:55,883
Don't you bruise
those tomatoes now.
833
00:45:59,403 --> 00:46:00,983
Have you folks tried
those biscuits?
834
00:46:01,003 --> 00:46:03,143
- They're delicious.
- What'd he say?
835
00:46:03,163 --> 00:46:04,343
Pick a school yet, Johnny?
836
00:46:04,373 --> 00:46:06,163
Baby love.
837
00:46:06,173 --> 00:46:09,133
Hey. How was it?
838
00:46:09,143 --> 00:46:13,123
It was cool. It was good.
I had a good time.
839
00:46:13,143 --> 00:46:15,333
Yeah?
840
00:46:15,353 --> 00:46:17,463
So how were the girls?
841
00:46:17,483 --> 00:46:20,373
The girls.
842
00:46:20,383 --> 00:46:22,393
How were the girls?
843
00:46:23,383 --> 00:46:25,403
Well, they were...
844
00:46:26,893 --> 00:46:28,583
very short...
845
00:46:28,593 --> 00:46:30,603
very fat...
846
00:46:30,633 --> 00:46:32,883
and kinda weird looking.
847
00:46:32,893 --> 00:46:34,013
What was her name?
848
00:46:34,043 --> 00:46:36,863
- Huh?
- What was her name?
849
00:46:39,003 --> 00:46:40,823
The woman I had dinner with
was Lawanda.
850
00:46:40,843 --> 00:46:42,153
That was Tex's wife.
851
00:46:42,173 --> 00:46:43,493
Lawanda?
852
00:46:43,503 --> 00:46:46,263
Very old chick. Very fat woman.
853
00:46:46,283 --> 00:46:48,063
And very funny looking.
854
00:46:48,083 --> 00:46:51,073
She took me to dinner,
and, you know...
855
00:46:51,083 --> 00:46:55,553
"What do you think of Texas?"
And, you know, "I love it."
856
00:46:55,563 --> 00:46:57,843
Lot of small talk.
857
00:46:57,863 --> 00:47:00,003
I didn't--you know,
I didn't do anything...
858
00:47:00,023 --> 00:47:02,573
or, you know, touched her.
859
00:47:06,303 --> 00:47:08,223
What are you thinking about?
860
00:47:10,473 --> 00:47:12,823
I think you're an asshole!
861
00:47:25,223 --> 00:47:27,843
This boy-girl shit hurts, man.
862
00:47:28,823 --> 00:47:31,313
Oh, no. None of that.
863
00:47:31,323 --> 00:47:33,813
It's a bogus product.
It's a payoff.
864
00:47:33,833 --> 00:47:37,013
No self-respecting fish would
go near a walleyed gibbler.
865
00:47:37,033 --> 00:47:39,823
Hey, Leo, read my lips.
866
00:47:39,833 --> 00:47:41,823
Joe Bob promised
my grandfather...
867
00:47:41,833 --> 00:47:43,823
he'd by 10,000
of the things, OK?
868
00:47:43,843 --> 00:47:45,833
Dude, you're confused.
You're repeating yourself.
869
00:47:45,843 --> 00:47:48,263
- Maybe you're wrong.
- Well...
870
00:47:48,273 --> 00:47:51,023
I couldn't break his heart
like that.
871
00:47:51,043 --> 00:47:53,503
Well, you can't commit
to Ol' Tex.
872
00:47:53,513 --> 00:47:56,903
I'll tell you something, Leo,
I had such a groove in Texas.
873
00:47:56,923 --> 00:47:58,563
I vomited margaritas
the whole way home...
874
00:47:58,583 --> 00:48:00,043
but it was beautiful.
I'm telling you.
875
00:48:00,053 --> 00:48:01,633
Well, perhaps
you'll spew forth...
876
00:48:01,653 --> 00:48:03,433
the drink of every school
you visit.
877
00:48:03,453 --> 00:48:05,113
I like that.
I'll keep it in mind.
878
00:48:05,133 --> 00:48:06,813
Give me a hand. Howdy, Chief!
879
00:48:06,833 --> 00:48:08,283
Dirtbags!
880
00:48:09,263 --> 00:48:13,313
UCC, UCC, UCC.
881
00:48:14,643 --> 00:48:17,963
What's shaking, Coach?
I didn't know you'd show.
882
00:48:17,973 --> 00:48:20,123
Coach, how do you feel?
883
00:48:20,143 --> 00:48:23,963
John, you promised me
you were gonna visit Piermont.
884
00:48:23,973 --> 00:48:27,563
He's not going to Piermont.
You get it? Got it?
885
00:48:27,583 --> 00:48:28,933
And goose yourself.
886
00:48:30,813 --> 00:48:34,673
If I want any shit out of you,
Leo, I'll squeeze your head.
887
00:48:37,293 --> 00:48:40,043
You better listen to me, son.
888
00:48:40,063 --> 00:48:44,143
You're on the verge of
destroying your entire career.
889
00:48:44,173 --> 00:48:46,383
I'm not gonna let it happen.
890
00:48:46,403 --> 00:48:48,323
I'm gonna do
whatever it takes...
891
00:48:48,333 --> 00:48:50,723
to make sure you do
the right thing.
892
00:49:01,613 --> 00:49:03,163
You keep playing games
with me...
893
00:49:03,183 --> 00:49:06,343
you're gonna end up waiting
on tables with this guy.
894
00:49:06,353 --> 00:49:08,773
That was cold-blooded, Coach.
895
00:49:08,793 --> 00:49:11,903
- Coach, where's your shoes?
- Forgot those shoes, Coach.
896
00:49:12,093 --> 00:49:16,493
Are you sure Tom won't want
to order more of my lures?
897
00:49:16,503 --> 00:49:20,483
We haven't sold one
in three years.
898
00:49:20,503 --> 00:49:23,883
Well, Harvey, you tell him that
a big shot down in Texas...
899
00:49:23,903 --> 00:49:25,903
just ordered 10,000 of them.
900
00:49:25,913 --> 00:49:29,763
Reckon the fish in that state
are gonna be safe for a while.
901
00:49:53,843 --> 00:49:56,493
Grandpa Walker,
can I have a word with you?
902
00:49:56,503 --> 00:49:58,323
Sure, Coach. Sit down.
903
00:49:58,343 --> 00:49:59,823
Got some bad news.
904
00:49:59,843 --> 00:50:01,693
You know Tom Norman?
905
00:50:01,703 --> 00:50:04,323
Well, he owns this shop.
Fishing buddy.
906
00:50:04,353 --> 00:50:05,803
What's happened?
907
00:50:05,813 --> 00:50:07,463
Well, apparently
he's very connected...
908
00:50:07,483 --> 00:50:09,333
with some of the alumni
from Piermont.
909
00:50:09,353 --> 00:50:11,433
Tom tells me that if Johnny
doesn't go to Fiermont...
910
00:50:11,453 --> 00:50:14,803
he's gonna have to cut off
your credit here.
911
00:50:14,823 --> 00:50:18,343
Hey, I hear you're
flunking English. Ouch.
912
00:50:18,363 --> 00:50:20,873
John, you need
that English, son.
913
00:50:28,373 --> 00:50:29,683
You did your term paper...
914
00:50:29,703 --> 00:50:31,693
on the American
hardware store, huh?
915
00:50:31,703 --> 00:50:33,023
Maybe you deserved that
916
00:50:33,033 --> 00:50:35,163
I don't want to hear about it.
It's a very legitimate topic.
917
00:50:35,183 --> 00:50:38,293
- Yes, it is, and I must read it.
- I know you wanted to.
918
00:50:38,313 --> 00:50:40,893
So, Leo, I think you know
why we're here today.
919
00:50:40,913 --> 00:50:42,693
I think you do.
920
00:50:42,713 --> 00:50:44,863
Hisler's been messing
with me, Leo.
921
00:50:44,893 --> 00:50:47,383
He's been messing
with my grandfather...
922
00:50:47,393 --> 00:50:49,883
been messing
with my little brother...
923
00:50:49,893 --> 00:50:51,403
my little sister.
924
00:50:52,893 --> 00:50:55,223
Been messing with my mom, Leo.
925
00:50:55,233 --> 00:50:58,883
He's been talking to her,
messing with her.
926
00:50:58,903 --> 00:51:00,893
And now...
927
00:51:00,903 --> 00:51:02,653
we're gonna mess with him, Leo.
928
00:51:02,663 --> 00:51:03,813
Are you with me?
929
00:51:03,833 --> 00:51:05,123
Die!
930
00:51:07,343 --> 00:51:09,123
Gonna ruin his life
931
00:51:09,143 --> 00:51:10,993
Gonna ruin it good
932
00:51:11,013 --> 00:51:12,823
Gonna do the wrong thing
933
00:51:12,843 --> 00:51:14,333
Like I thought I could
934
00:51:14,353 --> 00:51:16,633
Oh, Leo, vengeance is mine.
Made all the calls, did you?
935
00:51:16,653 --> 00:51:18,833
It all comes together now.
936
00:51:18,853 --> 00:51:21,433
Wait till you see
these chihuahuas.
937
00:51:23,183 --> 00:51:25,383
Hut, hut, hut.
938
00:51:28,863 --> 00:51:31,353
Hello, John.
Glad you boys came by.
939
00:51:31,363 --> 00:51:33,353
The wife has
a Tupperware party...
940
00:51:33,363 --> 00:51:35,363
but we can talk in the den
if you like.
941
00:51:35,373 --> 00:51:36,863
I'd appreciate that, Coach.
942
00:51:36,873 --> 00:51:39,383
- Come right in, please.
- Thank you. Thank you.
943
00:51:39,403 --> 00:51:42,363
It has a green lid.
944
00:51:42,373 --> 00:51:43,863
It has blue.
945
00:51:43,873 --> 00:51:47,173
It has...purple.
See that purple?
946
00:51:47,183 --> 00:51:50,643
You boys met my children
before-Sugar and Honey?
947
00:51:50,653 --> 00:51:51,693
Oh, I love your kids.
948
00:51:51,713 --> 00:51:53,203
I've been giving
a lot of thought...
949
00:51:53,213 --> 00:51:55,033
to what you told me
about Piermont. I really have.
950
00:51:55,063 --> 00:51:56,943
That's good.
951
00:51:56,963 --> 00:51:58,973
Except I'm having a little
problem with my English grade.
952
00:51:58,993 --> 00:52:00,883
Really?
953
00:52:00,893 --> 00:52:03,313
Yeah. I thought you could help.
954
00:52:03,323 --> 00:52:07,383
I might be able
to help you out with that. Sure.
955
00:52:07,403 --> 00:52:09,083
I thought you could, Coach.
956
00:52:11,333 --> 00:52:12,483
Stick with me, Johnny.
957
00:52:12,503 --> 00:52:15,503
- More company, honey?
- Don't get up, Pumpkin.
958
00:52:15,513 --> 00:52:18,833
- Keep selling your goods.
- OK, now, I have...
959
00:52:18,843 --> 00:52:20,493
Pizza delivery for Hitler.
960
00:52:20,513 --> 00:52:22,363
Hitler? Hisler. Hisler.
961
00:52:22,383 --> 00:52:24,803
Where you going?
Wait a minute, fellas.
962
00:52:24,823 --> 00:52:26,833
Wait a minute.
I didn't order any pizza.
963
00:52:26,853 --> 00:52:29,673
$283.
- No, it won't be $283.
964
00:52:29,693 --> 00:52:31,203
I didn't order any pizza.
965
00:52:31,223 --> 00:52:33,213
Look, pal, you order pizza,
we bring you pizza.
966
00:52:33,223 --> 00:52:35,013
- Hey, listen, you like pizza?
- Sure.
967
00:52:35,033 --> 00:52:38,653
Yeah, you like it? All right.
You eat the pizza!
968
00:52:41,233 --> 00:52:43,123
What are you doing?
969
00:52:43,133 --> 00:52:45,693
Can't you take a joke, mister?
970
00:52:45,713 --> 00:52:48,533
Go back!
Connie, get my shotgun!
971
00:52:50,113 --> 00:52:51,723
Honey, I'm coming!
972
00:52:51,743 --> 00:52:53,853
Can I have the rest
of the pizzas?
973
00:53:02,483 --> 00:53:03,973
Is it for me?
974
00:53:03,983 --> 00:53:06,453
No! It's for nobody!
Get out of here now!
975
00:53:11,993 --> 00:53:15,153
Whoa! Wait a minute!
Where you going?
976
00:53:15,173 --> 00:53:16,853
I'm from D.O.A. Exterminators.
977
00:53:16,873 --> 00:53:18,723
Hear you got a problem
with rodents.
978
00:53:18,743 --> 00:53:20,493
I got no rodents!
979
00:53:20,503 --> 00:53:22,153
I'm gonna take care
of my own rodents.
980
00:53:22,173 --> 00:53:24,223
Out, out, out!
981
00:53:29,513 --> 00:53:32,563
Coach, we're even now.
982
00:53:32,583 --> 00:53:34,163
How do you turn this thing off?
983
00:53:34,193 --> 00:53:35,273
Come on. Out.
984
00:53:36,293 --> 00:53:37,873
Connie, where are you?
985
00:54:27,713 --> 00:54:29,923
Number one.
986
00:54:31,413 --> 00:54:33,023
That's your number.
987
00:54:33,043 --> 00:54:35,013
Yeah, I was really surprised.
988
00:54:35,023 --> 00:54:37,033
No kidding, yeah.
989
00:54:38,183 --> 00:54:40,103
Definitely want
to see him, yeah.
990
00:54:40,123 --> 00:54:43,333
Fast like Homer Jones.
Remember Homer?
991
00:54:43,353 --> 00:54:45,943
Yeah, yeah.
Heck of a student.
992
00:54:45,963 --> 00:54:48,453
95 average--that's great.
993
00:54:48,463 --> 00:54:49,953
Let's have dinner next Tuesday.
994
00:54:49,963 --> 00:54:52,613
I gotta go.
Next Tuesday, OK?
995
00:54:52,633 --> 00:54:54,243
I really have to go. Bye-bye.
996
00:54:54,273 --> 00:54:58,523
What do you say, Coach?
How do you feel?
997
00:54:58,543 --> 00:55:02,463
Would you mind removing
your feet from my desk, please?
998
00:55:02,473 --> 00:55:04,863
Thank you.
999
00:55:04,883 --> 00:55:07,803
So, I came here to do some
business with you today, sir.
1000
00:55:07,813 --> 00:55:09,303
I just got back from Ol' Tex.
1001
00:55:09,313 --> 00:55:11,963
They're ready to cut a sweet
and lucrative deal with me...
1002
00:55:11,983 --> 00:55:13,943
except the thing is,
I want to play here.
1003
00:55:13,953 --> 00:55:15,503
I want to come to State.
1004
00:55:18,163 --> 00:55:20,703
Johnny, we don't
give out deals here.
1005
00:55:21,993 --> 00:55:23,983
What?
1006
00:55:23,993 --> 00:55:28,013
We give the usual scholarship:
Room and board...
1007
00:55:28,033 --> 00:55:29,993
a good education.
1008
00:55:30,003 --> 00:55:33,483
Everyone has to actually
go to class here.
1009
00:55:33,503 --> 00:55:35,503
And I like to believe...
1010
00:55:35,513 --> 00:55:37,763
that we offer a good background
in football.
1011
00:55:37,783 --> 00:55:39,733
We had a lot of players
go into pro ball.
1012
00:55:39,743 --> 00:55:43,533
That's nice, Coach, but...
1013
00:55:43,543 --> 00:55:45,603
you're losing the top
high school athletes...
1014
00:55:45,623 --> 00:55:47,943
every year for a reason.
1015
00:55:47,953 --> 00:55:49,463
What's that?
1016
00:55:51,623 --> 00:55:53,273
Well, you're not
giving them anything.
1017
00:55:53,293 --> 00:55:55,443
You gotta show them something.
They gotta see something.
1018
00:55:55,463 --> 00:55:57,113
They gotta know that
they're gonna get something--
1019
00:55:57,133 --> 00:56:00,953
cash, you know,
cars, apartments, money.
1020
00:56:00,963 --> 00:56:03,113
Hook-ups, you know what I mean?
1021
00:56:03,133 --> 00:56:05,823
We're looking for benefits
these days, Coach.
1022
00:56:05,843 --> 00:56:08,953
Look, Johnny, I like you...
1023
00:56:08,973 --> 00:56:11,963
so I'm not gonna B.S. you.
1024
00:56:11,973 --> 00:56:13,463
You're a good athlete.
1025
00:56:13,473 --> 00:56:17,463
You have a lot of talent
and a lot of energy.
1026
00:56:17,483 --> 00:56:19,133
So I'm warning you...
1027
00:56:19,153 --> 00:56:21,773
you're getting into something
that you don't understand.
1028
00:56:21,783 --> 00:56:24,643
See, when word goes out
that a kid like yourself...
1029
00:56:24,663 --> 00:56:26,383
is looking for a deal...
1030
00:56:26,393 --> 00:56:29,513
believe me, that deal turns out
to be a lot stronger...
1031
00:56:29,533 --> 00:56:31,283
than that kid
ever bargained for.
1032
00:56:32,993 --> 00:56:34,483
Be careful.
1033
00:56:34,503 --> 00:56:36,363
You're playing with fire.
1034
00:57:06,973 --> 00:57:08,983
Are you crazy?
1035
00:57:09,003 --> 00:57:11,893
My father sleeps with his gun.
1036
00:57:15,043 --> 00:57:17,163
I heard you visited State.
1037
00:57:20,643 --> 00:57:23,333
Does this mean
your lobotomy's worn off?
1038
00:57:27,323 --> 00:57:28,973
Well...
1039
00:57:28,993 --> 00:57:34,173
since you're not going to speak,
you will rub my feet.
1040
00:57:37,663 --> 00:57:40,123
I mean, far be it for me
to ask you to apologize...
1041
00:57:40,133 --> 00:57:43,313
when you have behaved like
a complete son of a bitch...
1042
00:57:43,333 --> 00:57:44,953
but...
1043
00:58:08,793 --> 00:58:12,613
"Flowers that have festered
smell far worse than weeds."
1044
00:58:14,143 --> 00:58:17,493
That means...you stink.
1045
00:58:20,973 --> 00:58:22,653
But it was sweet.
1046
00:58:23,753 --> 00:58:26,793
I guess
I'm still sweet on you.
1047
00:58:26,813 --> 00:58:29,303
I'll cut in ten minutes.
1048
00:58:29,313 --> 00:58:31,463
You're a bombshell.
1049
00:58:38,093 --> 00:58:39,413
“Cc!
1050
00:58:39,423 --> 00:58:42,353
- We're going to 0l' Tex.
- No, we're not.
1051
00:58:42,363 --> 00:58:43,843
People in Texas...
1052
00:58:45,873 --> 00:58:47,353
sorry-
1053
00:58:47,373 --> 00:58:48,383
Cool.
1054
00:58:51,003 --> 00:58:53,353
No real shots!
No real shots!
1055
00:58:53,373 --> 00:58:54,383
Punk!
1056
00:58:58,543 --> 00:59:00,933
- You wouldn't really use that.
- Yes, I would.
1057
00:59:00,943 --> 00:59:03,903
- No, you're not gonna use that.
- Yes, I would.
1058
00:59:04,893 --> 00:59:06,373
Leo.
1059
00:59:06,393 --> 00:59:07,873
What?
1060
00:59:07,893 --> 00:59:11,073
What do you really want
out of life, huh?
1061
00:59:11,093 --> 00:59:14,173
I want Johnny Walker
to go to California.
1062
00:59:17,903 --> 00:59:19,823
- All right, I'll go.
- Really?
1063
00:59:19,833 --> 00:59:21,483
- Yeah.
- Cool.
1064
01:00:04,213 --> 01:00:08,303
Hey, how you doing, Johnny?
Lew Landers, I.C.A.
1065
01:00:08,313 --> 01:00:09,933
It's good to see you.
Welcome to California.
1066
01:00:09,953 --> 01:00:11,703
We got a fine time
planned for you, buddy.
1067
01:00:11,713 --> 01:00:13,863
Listen, Lew, I'm here
to meet the money man.
1068
01:00:13,883 --> 01:00:15,313
I'm here on business,
not pleasure.
1069
01:00:15,323 --> 01:00:17,183
I'm the money man, Johnny.
1070
01:00:17,193 --> 01:00:19,243
And I'll tell you something.
I'm gonna take you to meet...
1071
01:00:19,263 --> 01:00:20,843
the best quarterback
in the country...
1072
01:00:20,863 --> 01:00:22,373
a close personal friend
of mine.
1073
01:00:22,393 --> 01:00:24,723
Give me five, Johnny.
Never touch.
1074
01:00:43,413 --> 01:00:47,003
Jim McMahon wears Adidas.
1075
01:00:58,033 --> 01:00:59,683
Either I wear Adidas...
1076
01:00:59,703 --> 01:01:01,213
or I wear nothing.
1077
01:01:03,033 --> 01:01:04,853
Almost nothing.
1078
01:01:04,873 --> 01:01:09,563
And cut!
Great. Beautiful. Amazing.
1079
01:01:09,573 --> 01:01:11,693
Here you go, Jim.
1080
01:01:11,713 --> 01:01:13,593
I don't know how you do it,
Jimmy. Every time.
1081
01:01:13,613 --> 01:01:14,593
Natural talent.
1082
01:01:14,623 --> 01:01:16,543
Back to the golf course
again, huh?
1083
01:01:16,553 --> 01:01:18,703
- The rest of you--thank you.
- Just one more, Jim.
1084
01:01:18,723 --> 01:01:21,043
- Hey, Yeoman, thanks a lot, man.
- You bet, boss.
1085
01:01:21,053 --> 01:01:23,233
Thanks, Bob.
1086
01:01:23,253 --> 01:01:26,883
Jimmy, how you doing?
Meet Johnny Walker.
1087
01:01:26,893 --> 01:01:28,213
What's up, Jim?
1088
01:01:28,233 --> 01:01:29,713
How you doing, John?
1089
01:01:29,733 --> 01:01:32,153
Glad to see
you're coming to UCC.
1090
01:01:32,163 --> 01:01:34,173
Well, I haven't really
made up my mind yet...
1091
01:01:34,203 --> 01:01:37,093
but I'm damn glad
to meet you, man.
1092
01:01:37,103 --> 01:01:39,153
I'm having a little party
for my man tonight.
1093
01:01:39,173 --> 01:01:40,713
Why don't you stop by
the house, huh?
1094
01:01:40,743 --> 01:01:43,253
Well, I'd love to,
but I promised my wife...
1095
01:01:43,273 --> 01:01:45,903
I wouldn't show up
at your place anymore.
1096
01:01:47,683 --> 01:01:50,193
What a kidder, huh?
I love you, Jimmy.
1097
01:01:50,213 --> 01:01:52,403
Hey, maybe next time,
huh, babe?
1098
01:01:53,683 --> 01:01:55,083
- Hey, Lew.
- Yeah?
1099
01:01:55,093 --> 01:01:57,243
Did you notice how he had
his hair done up like that?
1100
01:01:57,263 --> 01:01:58,403
Yeah. Looks good.
1101
01:01:58,423 --> 01:02:00,243
Just like mine.
Like he planned it for me.
1102
01:02:00,263 --> 01:02:01,903
Listen, let me tell you
something serious, huh?
1103
01:02:01,923 --> 01:02:03,243
You play your cards right...
1104
01:02:03,263 --> 01:02:04,903
you could be the next
Adidas man someday.
1105
01:02:04,933 --> 01:02:07,253
Lew, he had his hair hooked up
just like mine.
1106
01:02:07,273 --> 01:02:10,753
1:45--Walker receives
jacket from Landers.
1107
01:02:10,773 --> 01:02:11,953
Over and out.
1108
01:02:17,643 --> 01:02:20,863
I know I may talk 90%
of the time, Johnny...
1109
01:02:20,883 --> 01:02:24,493
but, believe me,
I only take 10% of the action.
1110
01:02:24,523 --> 01:02:27,343
- How you doing, Doc?
- Terrific, Lew, terrific.
1111
01:02:30,353 --> 01:02:32,673
- Lewie.
- Yeah?
1112
01:02:32,693 --> 01:02:35,123
My mother's medicine cabinet
was never like this.
1113
01:02:35,133 --> 01:02:38,353
Don't worry about it, Johnny.
You're not in Ashcroft anymore.
1114
01:02:38,363 --> 01:02:40,983
We use only the finest
steroids available.
1115
01:02:42,063 --> 01:02:45,123
We have only one mind-set
here at UCC...
1116
01:02:45,143 --> 01:02:46,993
and that is that
our boys are winners.
1117
01:02:47,013 --> 01:02:49,053
- Isn't that right, boys?
- Right!
1118
01:02:49,073 --> 01:02:51,963
I love these guys like my own
kids, and because of that...
1119
01:02:51,973 --> 01:02:54,523
I take better care of them
than their own mommies do.
1120
01:02:54,553 --> 01:02:57,233
- Isn't that right, boys?
- Right!
1121
01:02:57,253 --> 01:02:59,173
We have the best
training facilities...
1122
01:02:59,183 --> 01:03:01,173
in the country, Johnny,
college or pro.
1123
01:03:01,183 --> 01:03:02,503
Our men are appreciated...
1124
01:03:02,523 --> 01:03:04,913
for the fine pieces
of machinery that they are.
1125
01:03:04,933 --> 01:03:06,713
- What's up, Slick?
- Hey.
1126
01:03:06,733 --> 01:03:07,843
Does he play here?
1127
01:03:07,863 --> 01:03:09,473
No, he just pisses
for the players...
1128
01:03:09,493 --> 01:03:11,113
so they pass their drug tests.
1129
01:03:11,133 --> 01:03:13,343
- A designated pisser, huh?
- Yeah.
1130
01:03:13,363 --> 01:03:15,323
Let's get you some threads
for the party.
1131
01:03:15,343 --> 01:03:16,553
All right.
1132
01:03:16,573 --> 01:03:17,823
Lew, how tall are you?
1133
01:03:17,843 --> 01:03:18,853
About 5'8“.
1134
01:03:42,493 --> 01:03:45,123
Hi, I'm Tex Wade.
I'm looking for Johnny Walker.
1135
01:03:45,133 --> 01:03:48,353
Oh. Well, he hasn't got
back from UCC yet.
1136
01:03:48,373 --> 01:03:52,123
The hell's he doing at UCC?
Isn't he committed to Ol' Tex?
1137
01:03:52,133 --> 01:03:55,793
As far as I know, he hasn't
committed himself anywhere.
1138
01:03:55,813 --> 01:03:59,703
Well, I hate to be the one
to enlighten you, Grandpa...
1139
01:03:59,713 --> 01:04:01,633
but you did not get
that order...
1140
01:04:01,643 --> 01:04:03,893
for them 10,000
walleyed gibblers...
1141
01:04:03,913 --> 01:04:05,913
because they catch fish.
1142
01:04:07,993 --> 01:04:09,803
What are you saying, mister?
1143
01:04:09,823 --> 01:04:12,613
You figure it out, Grandpa.
1144
01:04:27,113 --> 01:04:28,793
Ah, it's good to be home.
1145
01:04:28,813 --> 01:04:30,453
Thanks, everybody. Thank you.
1146
01:04:32,173 --> 01:04:33,393
Thank you.
1147
01:04:33,413 --> 01:04:34,623
Hey, it's Johnny Walker.
1148
01:04:39,953 --> 01:04:41,063
Thank you.
1149
01:04:47,763 --> 01:04:49,413
This is a nice ride.
This is all right.
1150
01:04:49,433 --> 01:04:51,423
Where'd you get it, anyway?
My dad got it for me.
1151
01:04:51,433 --> 01:04:53,683
Kind of a graduation present
type thing.
1152
01:04:53,693 --> 01:04:56,823
I thought I knew
your father hated you.
1153
01:04:56,843 --> 01:04:59,423
Well, he used to,
but we're real tight now.
1154
01:04:59,443 --> 01:05:01,523
Just kind of
woke up one morning...
1155
01:05:01,543 --> 01:05:04,463
we had breakfast, and now,
you know, real solid.
1156
01:05:04,483 --> 01:05:05,873
Things are real good.
1157
01:05:05,883 --> 01:05:09,273
I look cleaner than
the board of health, don't I?
1158
01:05:09,283 --> 01:05:12,103
You kind of look like a combo--
1159
01:05:12,113 --> 01:05:15,173
Liberace meets Prince's mom.
But it's groovy.
1160
01:05:28,833 --> 01:05:30,383
Bye now.
1161
01:05:34,613 --> 01:05:36,063
What's happening, Chief?
1162
01:05:36,083 --> 01:05:39,903
Where did you finally decide
to go to college, clown school?
1163
01:05:39,913 --> 01:05:43,493
You know what you are, Chief?
You're an officer of love.
1164
01:05:43,513 --> 01:05:45,373
Not of law-of love, you are.
1165
01:05:53,593 --> 01:05:55,113
Do you dig it?
1166
01:05:56,433 --> 01:05:57,713
It's a look.
1167
01:06:26,863 --> 01:06:30,343
Mom, Mom,
Johnny's lost his mind!
1168
01:06:40,503 --> 01:06:42,123
What do you think?
1169
01:06:43,443 --> 01:06:45,593
Mom, I got to tell you
about this school.
1170
01:06:45,613 --> 01:06:50,003
UCC has a premed program--
absolutely blows Ol' Tex away.
1171
01:06:50,013 --> 01:06:52,803
Not even in the running anymore,
Ol' Tex, because you know why?
1172
01:06:52,813 --> 01:06:56,213
I'm gonna get about 3 times
the lab time I had at Ol' Tex.
1173
01:06:56,223 --> 01:06:59,443
Johnny,
what has happened to you?
1174
01:06:59,463 --> 01:07:01,643
Me? I'm great.
Don't I look great?
1175
01:07:01,663 --> 01:07:03,873
I feel great, Mom. I really do.
1176
01:07:03,893 --> 01:07:06,553
UCC is a football factory,
Johnny.
1177
01:07:06,573 --> 01:07:08,583
Only about half the players
there even graduate.
1178
01:07:08,603 --> 01:07:10,113
What about your education?
1179
01:07:11,133 --> 01:07:12,883
Ma, education? Please, OK?
1180
01:07:12,903 --> 01:07:15,263
Just, please,
step off with that, OK?
1181
01:07:15,283 --> 01:07:16,493
I want to tell you something.
1182
01:07:16,513 --> 01:07:18,263
I have a much better deal
here at UCC.
1183
01:07:18,283 --> 01:07:19,633
They're working out
a sweeter deal...
1184
01:07:19,643 --> 01:07:21,653
and they're gonna take
care of everything, guys.
1185
01:07:21,683 --> 01:07:24,503
The way Ol' Tex
took care of me?
1186
01:07:26,823 --> 01:07:29,933
Come on, look, everyone
looks nauseous here now.
1187
01:07:29,953 --> 01:07:33,073
I want to explain to you, OK?
UCC has a better deal for me.
1188
01:07:33,093 --> 01:07:37,023
They're going to hook us up.
Mom, you'll have a bigger house.
1189
01:07:37,033 --> 01:07:39,023
I don't want
a bigger house, Johnny.
1190
01:07:39,033 --> 01:07:40,883
I want you to stop
thinking about yourself...
1191
01:07:40,903 --> 01:07:42,383
and start thinking about
what's right...
1192
01:07:42,403 --> 01:07:45,193
and about your family.
We're the people who love you...
1193
01:07:45,213 --> 01:07:47,423
or maybe you've been
too busy Lear-jetting around...
1194
01:07:47,443 --> 01:07:48,593
to remember that.
1195
01:07:48,613 --> 01:07:52,193
I mean, look at you.
Purple and gold?
1196
01:07:52,213 --> 01:07:53,723
You look ridiculous.
1197
01:07:54,923 --> 01:07:58,433
I don't know how
this could've happened.
1198
01:07:58,453 --> 01:08:02,133
Maybe it was just too important
a decision to leave up to you.
1199
01:08:02,153 --> 01:08:05,383
Hey, Mom, wait a second.
Mom, can we--
1200
01:08:12,633 --> 01:08:14,483
Come on, Gramps.
Isn't this what you wanted?
1201
01:08:15,843 --> 01:08:20,623
I wanted to sell my lures,
not my grandson.
1202
01:08:20,643 --> 01:08:22,153
Come on.
1203
01:08:24,453 --> 01:08:26,133
Gramp.
1204
01:08:26,153 --> 01:08:27,503
Gramp.
1205
01:08:35,663 --> 01:08:38,043
What do you think, Randy?
Come on, what's up?
1206
01:08:38,063 --> 01:08:42,043
I'm going to go do my homework
and take a reality break.
1207
01:08:57,513 --> 01:08:59,593
Johnny, I've had a deep,
revelatory vision...
1208
01:08:59,613 --> 01:09:02,663
and I think you should drop this
ridiculous college ball thing.
1209
01:09:02,683 --> 01:09:03,963
And do what?
1210
01:09:03,993 --> 01:09:07,203
Become a professional waiter.
Develop a reputation...
1211
01:09:07,223 --> 01:09:09,803
as a bistro's
most courteous server.
1212
01:09:09,823 --> 01:09:11,743
And, of course,
you're waiting for one night...
1213
01:09:11,753 --> 01:09:13,613
when the manager's
relatives come in.
1214
01:09:13,623 --> 01:09:16,423
You seat them. You serve them.
You wine them. You dine them.
1215
01:09:16,433 --> 01:09:18,323
You read them the specials.
1216
01:09:18,333 --> 01:09:20,843
You take the last of their
orders, and then you say...
1217
01:09:20,863 --> 01:09:24,413
"Actually, it's the fish
or nothing!"
1218
01:09:24,443 --> 01:09:25,833
Of course, at this point...
1219
01:09:25,843 --> 01:09:27,263
they're all jamming
for the door like wild.
1220
01:09:27,273 --> 01:09:28,853
You tackle down around
the ankles.
1221
01:09:28,873 --> 01:09:31,123
You get them down on the ground.
You pound them in the spine.
1222
01:09:31,143 --> 01:09:32,863
You say,
"Are you trying to stiff me...
1223
01:09:32,873 --> 01:09:34,363
"on the gratuity, you fop?"
1224
01:09:34,383 --> 01:09:35,633
Right.
1225
01:09:35,653 --> 01:09:38,303
UCC is your only move
1226
01:09:38,323 --> 01:09:41,973
UCC is your evermost groove
1227
01:09:41,983 --> 01:09:44,533
Excuse me.
We're new in town...
1228
01:09:44,563 --> 01:09:46,953
and we've never had sex before.
1229
01:09:46,963 --> 01:09:48,853
Would you give us a hand?
1230
01:09:50,063 --> 01:09:51,073
Up.
1231
01:09:51,093 --> 01:09:52,953
Don't follow the dames.
1232
01:09:57,543 --> 01:10:00,493
Leo. Leo, turn--
I want to go home.
1233
01:10:00,503 --> 01:10:02,723
I started dating
this Nancy girl...
1234
01:10:02,743 --> 01:10:05,933
specifically because
she was a virgin.
1235
01:10:05,953 --> 01:10:09,703
Well, milliseconds before
initial penetration...
1236
01:10:09,713 --> 01:10:13,763
I just shot up in bed
like a reverse domino...
1237
01:10:13,783 --> 01:10:16,913
and I just said,
"Hey, there'll be none of this.
1238
01:10:16,923 --> 01:10:18,673
"What kind of boy
do you think I'm?
1239
01:10:18,693 --> 01:10:21,343
"I will hardly pop you
without having met your father.
1240
01:10:21,363 --> 01:10:23,283
"Get him on the horn."
1241
01:10:23,293 --> 01:10:27,523
The things that make life worth
so much and so worthwhile...
1242
01:10:27,533 --> 01:10:31,293
are things that we have to
look up at a lot of the time--
1243
01:10:31,303 --> 01:10:33,623
it's clouds, it's stars...
1244
01:10:33,633 --> 01:10:34,753
children.
1245
01:10:34,783 --> 01:10:36,493
"By the way, where is the can?
1246
01:10:36,513 --> 01:10:41,263
"I have to take an awful,
putrid asparagus piss."
1247
01:10:41,283 --> 01:10:43,033
He says, "Down the hall
to the left."
1248
01:10:43,043 --> 01:10:45,513
That just really ticked me off,
so I got up and I said...
1249
01:10:45,523 --> 01:10:47,983
"Just a goddamn minute.
That won't do."
1250
01:10:47,993 --> 01:10:49,913
I run right up
to the family drapes...
1251
01:10:49,923 --> 01:10:52,713
and proceed to write
my surname on them in urine.
1252
01:10:52,723 --> 01:10:54,773
Well, Mom bolts out
of the La-Z-Boy chair...
1253
01:10:54,803 --> 01:10:58,123
and comes over and delivers me
a flurry of slaps...
1254
01:10:58,133 --> 01:10:59,953
so I retaliate
with a series of blows...
1255
01:10:59,963 --> 01:11:02,713
to her midriff and midsection
that I usually reserve...
1256
01:11:02,733 --> 01:11:05,293
only for those times
when I actually do see red.
1257
01:11:05,313 --> 01:11:07,123
I'm a winner.
1258
01:11:07,143 --> 01:11:10,133
I'm, and so all these
big money men...
1259
01:11:10,143 --> 01:11:12,533
they're offering me this,
this, this, and this, you know?
1260
01:11:12,543 --> 01:11:15,673
Because I came home wearing,
like, heels and gold.
1261
01:11:15,683 --> 01:11:19,113
My mother sat me down and she
told me what the deal was...
1262
01:11:19,123 --> 01:11:21,833
you know, and spoke her mind,
and I've been acting crazy.
1263
01:11:21,853 --> 01:11:23,003
I really have.
1264
01:11:23,023 --> 01:11:25,743
Are you still conscious?
1265
01:11:25,763 --> 01:11:27,273
She's talking. Good.
1266
01:11:30,833 --> 01:11:32,843
Let her go. It's been an hour.
1267
01:11:32,863 --> 01:11:36,383
Look, I seem to have
lockjaw of the arm.
1268
01:11:41,543 --> 01:11:44,033
Love is a verb, and I wish...
1269
01:11:44,053 --> 01:11:46,803
I wish I'd just
get to it a lot more...
1270
01:11:46,813 --> 01:11:49,363
because I feel good when I do.
1271
01:11:49,383 --> 01:11:52,703
Say, are we going
to have sex or not?
1272
01:12:02,593 --> 01:12:03,703
Rape!
1273
01:12:03,723 --> 01:12:05,123
Rape!
1274
01:12:08,403 --> 01:12:09,753
Put your top on!
1275
01:12:11,903 --> 01:12:13,153
Freeze, assholes!
1276
01:12:14,143 --> 01:12:16,933
- This is too good to be true.
- For who?
1277
01:12:17,943 --> 01:12:20,903
You're going
to the joint forever.
1278
01:12:22,543 --> 01:12:24,593
What are you looking at,
weirdo?
1279
01:12:24,623 --> 01:12:25,663
Ouch.
1280
01:12:30,293 --> 01:12:31,803
We got to get out of here.
1281
01:12:33,123 --> 01:12:35,623
Look, Lew Landers
can get us out of here, right?
1282
01:12:35,633 --> 01:12:40,493
- But then you got to go to UCC.
- Wait a minute.
1283
01:12:40,503 --> 01:12:41,923
You know Lew Landers?
1284
01:12:43,033 --> 01:12:45,393
Of course. You think my dad
bought me that Jeep?
1285
01:12:45,413 --> 01:12:47,623
Are you kidding?
Lew Landers bought me the jeep.
1286
01:12:47,643 --> 01:12:51,103
UCC got it for me to try to get
you to go to their school.
1287
01:12:54,083 --> 01:12:57,373
- You set me up?
- No, I didn't set you up.
1288
01:12:57,383 --> 01:12:59,103
I just pushed you
in a direction...
1289
01:12:59,123 --> 01:13:01,663
trying to do
the right thing for you.
1290
01:13:01,683 --> 01:13:03,103
You set me up.
You didn't tell me.
1291
01:13:03,123 --> 01:13:05,783
If I told you, you would've
said no, and then...
1292
01:13:05,793 --> 01:13:07,343
well, then, it still wouldn't
have been setting you up.
1293
01:13:07,363 --> 01:13:08,873
I just, you know...
1294
01:13:10,533 --> 01:13:11,953
I just made a mistake.
1295
01:13:11,963 --> 01:13:13,783
I got...
1296
01:13:16,103 --> 01:13:17,463
selfish.
1297
01:13:19,903 --> 01:13:21,123
Me, too.
1298
01:13:29,713 --> 01:13:32,503
Oh, this is terrible.
This is awful.
1299
01:13:32,513 --> 01:13:34,803
This is really awful.
1300
01:13:34,823 --> 01:13:37,043
This is a serious mess.
1301
01:13:37,063 --> 01:13:39,313
Does the phrase
"Bail us out immediately"...
1302
01:13:39,323 --> 01:13:40,573
mean anything to you?
1303
01:13:40,593 --> 01:13:41,673
Bail?
1304
01:13:42,993 --> 01:13:44,103
There's your bail.
1305
01:13:44,133 --> 01:13:47,123
That's your ticket
out of here right there.
1306
01:13:47,133 --> 01:13:49,123
All he has to do
is sign with Fiermont--
1307
01:13:49,133 --> 01:13:50,313
you're on the street.
1308
01:13:50,333 --> 01:13:52,053
Otherwise, boys...
1309
01:13:52,073 --> 01:13:54,063
you're looking at twenty years
in the slammer...
1310
01:13:54,083 --> 01:13:55,723
with all the butt pirates.
1311
01:13:55,743 --> 01:13:57,963
And they say they're waiting
for you up there, Johnny...
1312
01:13:57,983 --> 01:14:01,303
want to give you a little
hiney poke up there.
1313
01:14:01,313 --> 01:14:03,133
Coach, I know I'm a man, OK?
1314
01:14:03,143 --> 01:14:04,763
My asshole is exit only...
1315
01:14:04,793 --> 01:14:07,473
and we really didn't do
anything wrong.
1316
01:14:07,493 --> 01:14:08,803
You want sympathy, Leo...
1317
01:14:08,823 --> 01:14:12,473
you look between "shit" and
"syphilis" in the dictionary.
1318
01:14:12,493 --> 01:14:14,773
No, no, you're gonna like it.
You're going to love it...
1319
01:14:14,803 --> 01:14:17,753
on the road gang, out there with
the cons cutting that grass.
1320
01:14:17,763 --> 01:14:18,753
Oh, yeah.
1321
01:14:18,763 --> 01:14:20,683
Boom. Boom.
1322
01:14:20,703 --> 01:14:23,023
All the pretty girls will be
going by in convertibles...
1323
01:14:23,033 --> 01:14:26,053
on spring break, drinking beer.
1324
01:14:26,073 --> 01:14:29,503
They'll be waving at you.
"Hi, Johnny. Johnny!"
1325
01:14:30,473 --> 01:14:31,983
It's up to you, John.
1326
01:14:32,013 --> 01:14:34,943
Put your foot
in the chain gang...
1327
01:14:34,953 --> 01:14:37,673
or you can put your foot
in the cash register.
1328
01:14:38,783 --> 01:14:41,073
You let me know.
1329
01:14:43,053 --> 01:14:45,063
Don't drop the soap, boys.
1330
01:14:49,833 --> 01:14:51,783
Hello, everyone.
I'm Gary DeLaune.
1331
01:14:51,793 --> 01:14:53,783
Today, throughout the country,
hundreds of boys...
1332
01:14:53,793 --> 01:14:55,883
will be signing their national
letters of intent.
1333
01:14:55,903 --> 01:14:58,483
These letters are commitments
by high school seniors...
1334
01:14:58,503 --> 01:15:00,323
to play for the college
of their choice.
1335
01:15:00,343 --> 01:15:02,453
Today, there's no place
across the country...
1336
01:15:02,473 --> 01:15:04,623
that has more media coverage
and more attention...
1337
01:15:04,653 --> 01:15:06,363
than right here--
Ashcroft High School.
1338
01:15:06,383 --> 01:15:07,963
We're here at Ashcroft
High School.
1339
01:15:07,983 --> 01:15:09,133
It's signing day.
1340
01:15:09,153 --> 01:15:11,233
Now, Johnny Walker
has just arrived...
1341
01:15:11,253 --> 01:15:13,243
to sign his national
letter of intent.
1342
01:15:13,253 --> 01:15:15,033
In just a very few
short moments...
1343
01:15:15,063 --> 01:15:17,413
the entire country will know
where Johnny Walker...
1344
01:15:17,423 --> 01:15:20,113
has decided to play
his college football.
1345
01:15:20,123 --> 01:15:23,243
Glad to see you boys could
be here for the announcement.
1346
01:15:23,263 --> 01:15:25,553
I sure hope none of us
are disappointed.
1347
01:15:25,573 --> 01:15:28,893
Something sure
don't smell right here.
1348
01:15:32,173 --> 01:15:34,183
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
1349
01:15:34,213 --> 01:15:37,723
I'm very happy to have been
asked, ladies and gentlemen...
1350
01:15:37,743 --> 01:15:39,893
to introduce Johnny Walker
here today.
1351
01:15:39,913 --> 01:15:43,963
And I'm so happy
to announce...
1352
01:15:43,983 --> 01:15:47,143
that John and I are going to be
together for another four years.
1353
01:15:47,153 --> 01:15:50,173
I'm the new head coach
at Piermont University.
1354
01:15:52,523 --> 01:15:54,603
But, you know, what really
makes me proud...
1355
01:15:54,633 --> 01:15:56,813
is that John could've gone
anywhere in America...
1356
01:15:56,833 --> 01:15:58,613
and he chose to be with me.
1357
01:15:58,633 --> 01:15:59,883
Now, we've also landed...
1358
01:15:59,903 --> 01:16:03,323
four of the top blue-chip
prospects in this country...
1359
01:16:03,333 --> 01:16:05,453
and they're all here today.
Come on up, fellas.
1360
01:16:08,643 --> 01:16:10,793
You need a haircut.
1361
01:16:10,813 --> 01:16:12,323
All right.
1362
01:16:14,153 --> 01:16:15,833
This is not about me.
1363
01:16:15,853 --> 01:16:18,363
I'm only as good
as my players, believe me.
1364
01:16:18,383 --> 01:16:19,873
Ladies and gentlemen,
let me introduce...
1365
01:16:19,883 --> 01:16:21,893
the man of the hour,
Johnny Walker.
1366
01:16:37,443 --> 01:16:38,753
'Iay! 'lay!
1367
01:16:40,773 --> 01:16:42,553
Throughout this recruitment...
1368
01:16:43,773 --> 01:16:46,603
I've acted like an idiot.
1369
01:16:46,613 --> 01:16:48,863
I completely embarrassed
my mother...
1370
01:16:48,883 --> 01:16:51,173
my family, my girlfriend...
1371
01:16:51,183 --> 01:16:53,433
my friends.
1372
01:16:53,453 --> 01:16:55,973
Mostly, I just
embarrassed myself...
1373
01:16:58,223 --> 01:17:02,583
because I thought
I had something, and I lost it.
1374
01:17:02,593 --> 01:17:06,393
And if this is what it takes
to play college football...
1375
01:17:06,403 --> 01:17:10,193
then I don't even want
to play at all.
1376
01:17:10,203 --> 01:17:15,733
Just because I know how
to remember to throw a ball...
1377
01:17:15,743 --> 01:17:21,763
doesn't mean I should forget
my life or anyone else's.
1378
01:17:23,083 --> 01:17:26,743
Therefore, I'm not going to sign
any letters to any schools.
1379
01:17:26,753 --> 01:17:29,333
Now, that's reality.
1380
01:17:29,353 --> 01:17:30,933
Thank you.
1381
01:17:30,953 --> 01:17:33,603
You listen to me.
You are going to Piermont.
1382
01:17:33,623 --> 01:17:36,093
- No, I'm not.
- If he doesn't go, I don't go.
1383
01:17:36,103 --> 01:17:38,213
- I'm with him.
- Wait a minute, fellas.
1384
01:17:38,233 --> 01:17:39,413
Hold on, fellas.
1385
01:17:39,433 --> 01:17:41,613
Piermont University
will honor all its commitments.
1386
01:17:41,633 --> 01:17:42,853
Now, I promise you that.
1387
01:17:42,863 --> 01:17:45,093
Slight misunderstanding,
ladies and gentlemen.
1388
01:17:45,113 --> 01:17:46,363
Bear with us.
1389
01:17:46,373 --> 01:17:47,383
Who are you?
1390
01:17:47,413 --> 01:17:49,453
My name is Floyd Gondole.
1391
01:17:49,473 --> 01:17:52,493
I'm the NCAA recruitment
investigator...
1392
01:17:52,513 --> 01:17:53,823
and I have followed...
1393
01:17:53,843 --> 01:17:57,313
the recruitment of Johnny Walker
since day one...
1394
01:17:57,323 --> 01:18:00,533
and I'm now calling
for a complete investigation...
1395
01:18:00,553 --> 01:18:02,943
of UCC, Ol' TeX...
1396
01:18:02,953 --> 01:18:05,923
and, specifically, Piermont.
1397
01:18:05,933 --> 01:18:07,313
We didn't do anything wrong.
1398
01:18:07,333 --> 01:18:10,583
You call framing a kid
for rape not wrong?
1399
01:18:10,593 --> 01:18:12,553
You mean you framed
the kid for rape?
1400
01:18:12,563 --> 01:18:14,523
You're both history.
You're both finished.
1401
01:18:14,543 --> 01:18:15,583
Oh, this is ridiculous.
1402
01:18:15,603 --> 01:18:17,463
Congratulations, John.
I'm proud of you.
1403
01:18:17,473 --> 01:18:19,053
Ladies and gentlemen,
this is...
1404
01:18:19,073 --> 01:18:20,753
You did good.
I'm proud of you.
1405
01:18:20,773 --> 01:18:24,193
Hey, Johnny, I'm proud of you.
You did good, kid.
1406
01:18:24,213 --> 01:18:26,263
So, what are you going
to do now, huh?
1407
01:18:26,283 --> 01:18:28,743
Penn State, Johnny!
Penn State! Penn State!
1408
01:18:28,753 --> 01:18:31,173
Alabama! Remember the weather!
1409
01:18:31,183 --> 01:18:33,363
Listen, Johnny, nobody--
and I mean nobody--
1410
01:18:33,383 --> 01:18:35,113
makes a schmuck
out of me, capisce?
1411
01:18:35,123 --> 01:18:36,513
Nobody has to, Lew.
1412
01:18:36,523 --> 01:18:37,673
Is that right?
1413
01:18:38,823 --> 01:18:40,443
You're going down now, Lew.
1414
01:18:40,463 --> 01:18:42,473
Oh, you done made
a big mistake.
1415
01:18:46,033 --> 01:18:47,653
No pictures!
1416
01:18:52,803 --> 01:18:55,863
Title fight.
Hey, wish I could help.
1417
01:19:13,293 --> 01:19:14,473
Thank you, my friend.
1418
01:19:14,503 --> 01:19:16,143
Good move, man.
1419
01:19:17,963 --> 01:19:19,653
Let's get out of here.
1420
01:19:22,803 --> 01:19:24,223
Get back here, Walker!
1421
01:19:24,243 --> 01:19:26,463
Get out of my way!
Walker, get back here!
1422
01:19:29,443 --> 01:19:30,763
Get down, Gramp.
1423
01:19:30,773 --> 01:19:32,233
Never did like that fella.
1424
01:19:45,733 --> 01:19:48,183
Coach. Coach.
1425
01:20:05,313 --> 01:20:06,393
Coach?
1426
01:20:09,713 --> 01:20:11,223
I want an education.
1427
01:20:13,953 --> 01:20:16,343
I saw the news conference
last night, Johnny.
1428
01:20:16,363 --> 01:20:18,903
Yeah?
1429
01:20:21,193 --> 01:20:23,043
What'd you think?
1430
01:20:23,063 --> 01:20:25,753
You showed
the type of character...
1431
01:20:25,773 --> 01:20:27,853
that we like in our students.
1432
01:20:27,873 --> 01:20:29,223
I like that.
1433
01:20:30,633 --> 01:20:34,063
Does this mean...
1434
01:20:34,083 --> 01:20:36,093
you want me
to come play ball here?
1435
01:20:39,643 --> 01:20:41,603
You bet I do.
1436
01:21:54,723 --> 01:21:59,083
The Johnny Walker recruitment
scandal widened today...
1437
01:21:59,093 --> 01:22:02,773
with the announcement
that UCC and Ol' Tex...
1438
01:22:02,793 --> 01:22:06,383
have each been placed
on one-year probation.
1439
01:22:06,403 --> 01:22:08,413
Well, Joe Bob, thank God...
1440
01:22:08,433 --> 01:22:10,893
basketball season's
right around the corner.
1441
01:22:10,903 --> 01:22:13,013
Yeah, amen to that, Tex.
1442
01:22:13,033 --> 01:22:16,663
You know, football ain't been
good to us this year at all.
1443
01:22:22,143 --> 01:22:24,763
In a still further
development...
1444
01:22:24,793 --> 01:22:29,543
Lew Landers has been barred
from participating...
1445
01:22:29,553 --> 01:22:33,373
in the UCC football program
for life.
1446
01:22:33,393 --> 01:22:36,053
You have one "F"?
We'll take care of it for you.
1447
01:22:37,303 --> 01:22:39,553
Hey, slow down for a minute!
I just want to talk to you!
1448
01:22:39,633 --> 01:22:41,923
Lew Landers gave me that jeep!
1449
01:22:54,783 --> 01:22:58,103
This is a pack of lies!
A pack of lies!
1450
01:22:58,123 --> 01:23:01,003
I know what I did.
1451
01:23:01,023 --> 01:23:02,003
No, no.
1452
01:23:02,023 --> 01:23:03,943
I hired a common idiot!
1453
01:23:03,963 --> 01:23:05,313
A common idiot!
1454
01:23:05,333 --> 01:23:06,583
Get the hell away from me!
100171
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