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1
00:00:01,574 --> 00:00:03,638
I sure hope Mom and dad are surprised
2
00:00:03,639 --> 00:00:06,575
by this anniversary
breakfast we're bringing them!
3
00:00:06,577 --> 00:00:08,667
I hate to walk in if they are naked.
4
00:00:08,668 --> 00:00:10,894
Yes, that kind of image could haunt someone
5
00:00:10,895 --> 00:00:13,822
if she tries to sleep even years later.
6
00:00:13,823 --> 00:00:15,955
Oh, relax. I think you're safe.
7
00:00:15,956 --> 00:00:17,159
Or are they?
8
00:00:19,561 --> 00:00:20,178
So today at the school fair,
9
00:00:20,179 --> 00:00:21,493
a band called the Dad Beats
10
00:00:21,494 --> 00:00:23,889
is gonna surprise Claire
with a power love ballad.
11
00:00:24,057 --> 00:00:27,180
And the lead singer... you
might want to sit down...
12
00:00:27,238 --> 00:00:28,404
is the one and only...
13
00:00:28,405 --> 00:00:31,019
get up on your feet!... this guy!
14
00:00:32,316 --> 00:00:34,396
♪ She's a pretty sight ♪
15
00:00:34,397 --> 00:00:36,916
♪ Wise as a buddha ♪
16
00:00:36,917 --> 00:00:38,784
♪ But, brother, watch that bite ♪
17
00:00:38,785 --> 00:00:41,385
♪ 'cause she's a Claire-Acuda ♪
18
00:00:42,273 --> 00:00:44,176
Or maybe an existing song.
19
00:00:44,792 --> 00:00:45,963
Thank you.
20
00:00:45,964 --> 00:00:56,824
- synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
21
00:00:59,587 --> 00:01:00,547
Do you want to get your face painted
22
00:01:00,548 --> 00:01:01,717
like a pretty butterfly?
23
00:01:01,718 --> 00:01:03,442
No. I'm just not in the mood.
24
00:01:04,001 --> 00:01:05,216
Lily, what about you?
25
00:01:05,796 --> 00:01:06,110
You know what?
26
00:01:06,111 --> 00:01:07,177
Maybe I will have them paint
27
00:01:07,178 --> 00:01:09,007
"Worst coach ever" on my forehead.
28
00:01:09,187 --> 00:01:10,977
Cam's coaching freshman football,
29
00:01:10,978 --> 00:01:12,581
and his team's losing,
30
00:01:12,582 --> 00:01:15,557
and it's making him, uh, a little tense.
31
00:01:15,759 --> 00:01:16,713
Run, run!
32
00:01:16,714 --> 00:01:18,339
Protect it like it's your baby!
33
00:01:18,340 --> 00:01:20,828
You dropped your baby!
You dropped your baby!
34
00:01:20,829 --> 00:01:22,034
They're running away with your baby!
35
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Go get your baby!
36
00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:24,319
That's the worst call
37
00:01:24,320 --> 00:01:27,595
since they cast Russell Crowe
in "Les Mis," right there!
38
00:01:28,057 --> 00:01:29,741
You see the way everyone's glaring at me?
39
00:01:29,742 --> 00:01:32,011
- No.
- Like a big loser coach.
40
00:01:32,012 --> 00:01:32,900
All in your head.
41
00:01:32,901 --> 00:01:33,928
I'm the Hester Prynne of freshman football.
42
00:01:33,929 --> 00:01:36,052
I may as well have a
scarlet "L" sewn on my shirt.
43
00:01:36,053 --> 00:01:37,575
Well, then, everyone
would think you're Laverne.
44
00:01:37,576 --> 00:01:39,724
Coach Tucker.
45
00:01:39,831 --> 00:01:41,519
That was a tough loss last night.
46
00:01:41,836 --> 00:01:42,912
Yeah, yeah. Sure was.
47
00:01:42,913 --> 00:01:44,585
I feel your frustration. Sure do.
48
00:01:44,586 --> 00:01:46,923
Uh, Mitchell, this is
John. He's Trevor's dad.
49
00:01:46,924 --> 00:01:48,383
- Sorry.
- Star running back.
50
00:01:48,384 --> 00:01:49,668
Well, maybe not for long.
51
00:01:49,669 --> 00:01:51,451
I'm seriously thinking about
pulling him from the team.
52
00:01:51,452 --> 00:01:52,344
What? Why?
53
00:01:52,345 --> 00:01:54,018
'Cause Trevor's getting killed out there.
54
00:01:54,179 --> 00:01:55,465
You got no one to block for him.
55
00:01:55,466 --> 00:01:58,105
I... I hear what you're
saying, and you're not wrong,
56
00:01:58,106 --> 00:01:59,830
but give me a little time.
57
00:01:59,831 --> 00:02:01,095
You got one week.
58
00:02:03,157 --> 00:02:05,775
Well, that is not appropriate
fair behavior at all.
59
00:02:06,153 --> 00:02:07,476
You know what might make you feel better?
60
00:02:07,477 --> 00:02:09,558
Gathering my team and putting
the fear of God in them.
61
00:02:09,559 --> 00:02:10,660
I was gonna say a churro.
62
00:02:10,661 --> 00:02:11,740
I can do both!
63
00:02:12,843 --> 00:02:14,114
She's a mess.
64
00:02:14,115 --> 00:02:15,191
Girl...
65
00:02:16,515 --> 00:02:18,891
Hey, hey, lead foot, easy on the turns!
66
00:02:18,892 --> 00:02:20,431
I worked hours on this cake.
67
00:02:20,445 --> 00:02:21,769
You're sure you want to do this?
68
00:02:22,147 --> 00:02:23,705
I'm going to win the cake contest,
69
00:02:23,706 --> 00:02:25,025
and then there'll be no stopping me.
70
00:02:25,026 --> 00:02:26,080
From what? A beating?
71
00:02:26,081 --> 00:02:28,070
First-place ribbons earn respect, Jay.
72
00:02:28,071 --> 00:02:29,131
Not if your competition's
73
00:02:29,132 --> 00:02:30,706
a bunch of old ladies and weirdos.
74
00:02:30,707 --> 00:02:32,049
Could you just be nice?
75
00:02:32,050 --> 00:02:33,408
You didn't seem to care
76
00:02:33,409 --> 00:02:35,553
when you were eating all his practice cake.
77
00:02:35,554 --> 00:02:36,559
Finally.
78
00:02:38,426 --> 00:02:39,775
What are you gonna do, pal?!
79
00:02:39,852 --> 00:02:41,458
About to ask you the same thing.
80
00:02:41,459 --> 00:02:43,140
Did you not see my blinker?
81
00:02:43,141 --> 00:02:45,226
- Nope.
- Then you're blind, 'cause it's on.
82
00:02:45,227 --> 00:02:47,697
Looking at you, I'm guessing
it was on the whole way here.
83
00:02:47,698 --> 00:02:50,782
I got all day and satellite radio.
84
00:02:50,783 --> 00:02:53,303
I don't care if parking
here is on your bucket list.
85
00:02:53,304 --> 00:02:55,798
I've got two books on
tape, a space blanket,
86
00:02:55,799 --> 00:02:57,578
and a protein bar in the glove box.
87
00:02:57,579 --> 00:02:59,481
I will sleep here if I have to.
88
00:02:59,482 --> 00:02:59,993
We're not moving.
89
00:02:59,994 --> 00:03:01,017
Ay, but we are.
90
00:03:01,018 --> 00:03:02,237
Let's go, Manny.
91
00:03:14,669 --> 00:03:16,192
- Who are you?
- Oh, my God!
92
00:03:16,193 --> 00:03:17,928
You scared the hell out of me!
93
00:03:18,145 --> 00:03:20,233
Okay, language. There's
a baby in the house.
94
00:03:20,234 --> 00:03:22,111
Uh, that baby happens to be my uncle.
95
00:03:22,112 --> 00:03:24,038
Which one are you?
96
00:03:24,039 --> 00:03:26,312
You need to tell Mr. P
you broke one of his beers.
97
00:03:26,772 --> 00:03:28,160
I'm Alex. Who are you?
98
00:03:28,161 --> 00:03:28,959
I'm their Manny.
99
00:03:29,650 --> 00:03:30,336
Nice try.
100
00:03:30,337 --> 00:03:32,511
I know their Manny, and
you look nothing like him.
101
00:03:32,512 --> 00:03:34,356
Oh, you're Haley.
102
00:03:34,503 --> 00:03:36,352
I'm their male nanny, Andy.
103
00:03:36,353 --> 00:03:37,700
You really need to move.
104
00:03:37,701 --> 00:03:40,099
Okay, well, I'll be out by the pool.
105
00:03:40,100 --> 00:03:41,515
What? Nope!
106
00:03:41,516 --> 00:03:42,240
No, no, no.
107
00:03:42,241 --> 00:03:43,782
Not without permission, you're not.
108
00:03:43,783 --> 00:03:45,862
- I'm gonna call Mr. and Mrs. P.
- Oh, wait!
109
00:03:45,863 --> 00:03:49,343
Um... seriously, Mandy, do you, uh...
110
00:03:49,371 --> 00:03:51,014
do you really have to do that?
111
00:03:51,816 --> 00:03:52,852
I see what you're doing.
112
00:03:52,853 --> 00:03:53,641
Don't bother,
113
00:03:53,642 --> 00:03:54,226
because I have a girlfriend
114
00:03:54,227 --> 00:03:55,688
of eight years back in Utah.
115
00:03:55,689 --> 00:03:56,986
That's pretty young, but
I guess they do things
116
00:03:56,987 --> 00:03:57,935
differently over there.
117
00:03:57,936 --> 00:03:58,950
She's my age,
118
00:03:58,951 --> 00:04:00,830
and we're engaged... to be engaged.
119
00:04:00,831 --> 00:04:02,620
It's... it's a pre-engagement.
120
00:04:02,621 --> 00:04:03,610
She's in the Coast Guard.
121
00:04:03,611 --> 00:04:05,108
- In Utah?
- Yeah.
122
00:04:05,189 --> 00:04:06,919
It's the largest salt lake
in the western hemisphere.
123
00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:08,848
Oh, good. She's protecting our lake.
124
00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:10,295
I'll be out by the pool.
125
00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:12,414
Your boss is calling you.
126
00:04:15,528 --> 00:04:17,457
Hey! There she is.
127
00:04:17,458 --> 00:04:18,481
Yeah, I'm not giving you any money.
128
00:04:18,482 --> 00:04:20,379
I don't need your money I need advice...
129
00:04:21,001 --> 00:04:21,982
about a girl.
130
00:04:22,249 --> 00:04:24,557
Gross, but I'm intrigued, so talk.
131
00:04:24,558 --> 00:04:26,448
Alex. Hey, Girlita.
132
00:04:26,449 --> 00:04:29,122
Sienna... girl!
133
00:04:29,228 --> 00:04:33,143
Sienna is amazing... stylish, worldly...
134
00:04:33,144 --> 00:04:35,312
and she's so new to our
school, she doesn't even realize
135
00:04:35,313 --> 00:04:37,193
that I'm a full social class below her.
136
00:04:37,253 --> 00:04:38,968
I need to cement the friendship
137
00:04:38,969 --> 00:04:40,898
before she finds out we have a cafeteria.
138
00:04:41,186 --> 00:04:42,957
I've been looking all over for you.
139
00:04:42,958 --> 00:04:45,179
Uh, this is my little brother, Luke.
140
00:04:46,212 --> 00:04:48,789
He wants advice on some lame crush he has.
141
00:04:48,790 --> 00:04:49,576
That's huge.
142
00:04:49,577 --> 00:04:50,725
So huge.
143
00:04:50,918 --> 00:04:53,817
So, Luke, who is this mystery woman?
144
00:04:53,962 --> 00:04:56,187
Um... just some girl.
145
00:04:56,428 --> 00:04:58,422
And her name is Sienna.
146
00:05:01,922 --> 00:05:04,065
You know, Manny, I'm just
gonna say this one last time.
147
00:05:04,066 --> 00:05:05,555
- I doubt that.
- Give me that.
148
00:05:06,357 --> 00:05:07,493
You want to fit in?
149
00:05:07,884 --> 00:05:09,307
You're not doing yourself any favors
150
00:05:09,308 --> 00:05:10,555
with this cake contest.
151
00:05:10,556 --> 00:05:11,807
I don't know. Chefs get all the girls.
152
00:05:11,808 --> 00:05:12,791
You're a baker.
153
00:05:12,792 --> 00:05:13,910
Bakers are girls...
154
00:05:13,911 --> 00:05:16,523
Betty Crocker, Mrs. Fields, Little Debbie.
155
00:05:16,524 --> 00:05:18,049
What about the Pillsbury Doughboy?
156
00:05:18,050 --> 00:05:19,607
That's a good one, Manny!
157
00:05:20,881 --> 00:05:22,845
Well, well, well. Jay Pritchett.
158
00:05:22,846 --> 00:05:24,429
Nice of you to finally show up.
159
00:05:24,430 --> 00:05:26,291
- What's happening?
- You're an official fair cop.
160
00:05:26,292 --> 00:05:27,940
- Your wife volunteered you.
- Gloria!
161
00:05:27,941 --> 00:05:29,443
I love you! Have fun!
162
00:05:29,444 --> 00:05:30,919
- What is this?
- It's for charity.
163
00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:32,355
People pay for you to arrest
164
00:05:32,356 --> 00:05:34,002
and throw somebody in jail for 10 minutes.
165
00:05:34,003 --> 00:05:35,369
And here comes your partner.
166
00:05:35,370 --> 00:05:36,166
What's up?
167
00:05:36,167 --> 00:05:38,406
Oh, hell, no. I'm not
working with this clown.
168
00:05:38,407 --> 00:05:40,692
Hey, who are you calling
a clown, bucket list?
169
00:05:40,693 --> 00:05:42,264
I see you two have already met.
170
00:05:42,265 --> 00:05:44,366
That was my space and you know it.
171
00:05:44,367 --> 00:05:46,636
Tell it to my car. You
know where to find it.
172
00:05:46,637 --> 00:05:48,667
Hey, enough of you two squabbling.
173
00:05:48,668 --> 00:05:50,891
I've got the PTA breathing down my neck.
174
00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:52,637
Just pin these on and get to work.
175
00:05:52,638 --> 00:05:54,869
Nope. Can't do the badge. Sorry.
176
00:05:54,870 --> 00:05:56,180
My wife just bought me this shirt,
177
00:05:56,181 --> 00:05:57,692
and if I ruin it, she'll kill me.
178
00:05:57,693 --> 00:05:58,939
You're afraid you'll ruin your blouse.
179
00:05:58,940 --> 00:06:00,497
It's not a blouse! It's a shirt.
180
00:06:00,498 --> 00:06:02,441
She bought it at the men's
department, so it's a shirt.
181
00:06:03,308 --> 00:06:04,389
Here's your first arrest.
182
00:06:04,390 --> 00:06:05,988
She's over at the Dizzy Dragon.
183
00:06:06,008 --> 00:06:08,534
Word on the midway is she's
tougher than she looks.
184
00:06:08,570 --> 00:06:10,627
- Think you can handle it?
- Why couldn't I handle it?
185
00:06:10,791 --> 00:06:12,282
'Cause she's your daughter.
186
00:06:15,749 --> 00:06:16,626
Hello?
187
00:06:16,849 --> 00:06:18,813
Oh, hi, Mr. Chang. Yeah.
188
00:06:19,265 --> 00:06:20,537
What do you mean you're
at the house already?
189
00:06:20,538 --> 00:06:22,389
You're not supposed to be
there for another two hours.
190
00:06:22,390 --> 00:06:23,877
I have a long history of giving Phil
191
00:06:23,878 --> 00:06:25,462
bad anniversary gifts,
192
00:06:25,463 --> 00:06:28,109
but this year, I have
planned something amazing.
193
00:06:28,110 --> 00:06:30,085
The traditional 20th gift is china,
194
00:06:30,086 --> 00:06:32,293
but what am I gonna do, give him a plate?
195
00:06:32,858 --> 00:06:34,086
I already did that.
196
00:06:35,183 --> 00:06:36,647
Okay, bye.
197
00:06:38,017 --> 00:06:40,209
Honey, um, what do you say
we pack it in and go home?
198
00:06:40,210 --> 00:06:41,961
What? No. I mean, we just got here.
199
00:06:41,962 --> 00:06:43,223
I haven't even whacked a mole yet.
200
00:06:43,224 --> 00:06:44,433
I know, but I just got
off the Ferris wheel,
201
00:06:44,434 --> 00:06:45,921
and I'm feeling really queasy.
202
00:06:45,922 --> 00:06:47,551
But you're gonna miss the Dad Beats.
203
00:06:47,552 --> 00:06:48,673
No way. Come on.
204
00:06:48,674 --> 00:06:50,168
Let's get you a fried pickle!
205
00:06:50,169 --> 00:06:51,611
Phil, I might throw up.
206
00:06:52,686 --> 00:06:55,630
No one throws up until I sing.
207
00:06:55,896 --> 00:06:57,212
Phil, we got to go. We got to go home now.
208
00:06:57,213 --> 00:06:59,317
Sure. Why not? Nothing keeping you here.
209
00:06:59,318 --> 00:07:00,457
Why are you acting weird?
210
00:07:00,458 --> 00:07:01,597
I'm not acting weird.
211
00:07:01,598 --> 00:07:02,564
Got her.
212
00:07:02,565 --> 00:07:05,238
Ma'am, I am afraid you are under arrest.
213
00:07:05,239 --> 00:07:08,116
Uh, no. Dad, tell him I
can't do this right now.
214
00:07:08,117 --> 00:07:09,130
Come on. Please.
215
00:07:09,131 --> 00:07:10,144
Go ahead. Read her the charges.
216
00:07:10,205 --> 00:07:11,279
Can't do this.
217
00:07:11,369 --> 00:07:12,164
All right. Let's see.
218
00:07:12,165 --> 00:07:14,199
You have been charged
with unlawful sexiness
219
00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:16,198
and possession of a hot booty.
220
00:07:16,199 --> 00:07:17,056
That is wrong.
221
00:07:17,057 --> 00:07:18,544
- Guilty as charged.
- Stop it!
222
00:07:18,545 --> 00:07:20,192
All right, 10 minutes in the slammer.
223
00:07:20,193 --> 00:07:20,871
No, I can't.
224
00:07:20,872 --> 00:07:22,809
I don't have time for this. Phil!
225
00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:26,989
Oh, my God!
226
00:07:26,990 --> 00:07:28,463
What are you doing, perv?!
227
00:07:28,464 --> 00:07:30,510
Getting proof of where
the two missing beers went.
228
00:07:30,511 --> 00:07:31,602
You can't drink that out here.
229
00:07:31,603 --> 00:07:33,394
Hmm. Let's see if you're right.
230
00:07:34,817 --> 00:07:36,495
Mm, no.
231
00:07:36,496 --> 00:07:38,528
Okay, well, you're in a pool zone,
232
00:07:38,708 --> 00:07:41,099
and that is glass, so that's not safe.
233
00:07:41,100 --> 00:07:41,893
It's dangerous.
234
00:07:41,894 --> 00:07:44,012
What is with you and your
girlfriend protecting water?
235
00:07:44,025 --> 00:07:45,522
Okay, just...
236
00:07:45,523 --> 00:07:47,795
- If you just...
- No... no, uh, uh!
237
00:07:47,919 --> 00:07:49,429
Oh! D... ahh! D-d... oh, dilly!
238
00:07:49,432 --> 00:07:50,385
Well, now you've done it.
239
00:07:50,386 --> 00:07:51,566
You're gonna have to climb in there
240
00:07:51,567 --> 00:07:52,861
and get all the glass out of the pool.
241
00:07:52,862 --> 00:07:54,481
Um, I just got my hair straightened,
242
00:07:54,482 --> 00:07:55,959
so that's not gonna happen.
243
00:07:56,519 --> 00:07:57,949
I hate to go all ballistic,
244
00:07:57,950 --> 00:08:00,031
but it has not been a pleasure meeting you.
245
00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:03,318
Do you kiss your imaginary
girlfriend with that mouth?
246
00:08:03,319 --> 00:08:06,308
I do, but she's real.
So, she's a real girl.
247
00:08:07,092 --> 00:08:10,698
It all comes down to
one thing, gentlemen...
248
00:08:11,465 --> 00:08:12,464
focus...
249
00:08:13,282 --> 00:08:15,431
and teamwork and heart!
250
00:08:15,740 --> 00:08:16,948
You see this mallet?
251
00:08:17,206 --> 00:08:20,838
Think I can swing this
here mallet with one finger?
252
00:08:21,244 --> 00:08:24,172
No! I need my whole team!
253
00:08:24,568 --> 00:08:27,807
Because when you're functioning
and working as a team,
254
00:08:27,808 --> 00:08:29,554
gentlemen, look out!
255
00:08:30,977 --> 00:08:31,918
Sassy granny?
256
00:08:31,919 --> 00:08:33,058
Yeah, sassy granny.
257
00:08:33,059 --> 00:08:34,533
Yes, exactly.
258
00:08:34,546 --> 00:08:37,188
Because that is what you
all played like last night...
259
00:08:37,189 --> 00:08:40,110
is a bunch of sassy grannies.
260
00:08:40,328 --> 00:08:41,807
But we're gonna bust our humps this week,
261
00:08:41,808 --> 00:08:42,913
and we're gonna get out there,
262
00:08:42,914 --> 00:08:45,223
and we're gonna play like a bunch of...
263
00:08:45,402 --> 00:08:46,698
Girly men. Got it.
264
00:08:46,699 --> 00:08:48,487
Okay, you know what? Is
this thing plugged in?
265
00:08:48,488 --> 00:08:49,835
It's not electric.
266
00:08:49,836 --> 00:08:52,120
I think it was made in the 1800s.
267
00:08:52,183 --> 00:08:54,792
Okay, well, that's my point.
268
00:08:54,994 --> 00:08:56,321
This is outdated.
269
00:08:56,402 --> 00:08:57,150
This is offensive,
270
00:08:57,151 --> 00:08:59,246
because girls are athletes, too.
271
00:08:59,866 --> 00:09:02,432
So, in conclusion...
272
00:09:03,232 --> 00:09:05,185
if you want to win football games,
273
00:09:05,295 --> 00:09:07,796
we got to go out there and play like a...
274
00:09:10,769 --> 00:09:12,081
What is daddy doing?
275
00:09:12,082 --> 00:09:13,766
Daddy's smashing his demons.
276
00:09:13,767 --> 00:09:15,892
Oh, like the ones you vacuum up at home?
277
00:09:15,893 --> 00:09:17,304
Yeah, yeah. Like that.
278
00:09:18,088 --> 00:09:20,834
Mm! Damn. Near miss.
279
00:09:20,835 --> 00:09:23,203
Why the hell are you so dressed
up for a school fair, anyway?
280
00:09:23,204 --> 00:09:24,569
How is this dressed up?!
281
00:09:24,570 --> 00:09:26,099
I'm Why?
282
00:09:26,270 --> 00:09:27,851
Because my shirt has buttons?
283
00:09:27,853 --> 00:09:29,423
What's that fabric? Is that silk?
284
00:09:29,424 --> 00:09:32,336
Get your vanilla fingers
away from my shirt!
285
00:09:32,337 --> 00:09:33,594
- Blouse.
- Okay...
286
00:09:34,431 --> 00:09:36,377
You want to talk about clothes?
Let's talk about clothes.
287
00:09:36,378 --> 00:09:37,349
Let's go. Let's see.
288
00:09:37,350 --> 00:09:39,895
You look like some kind
of old, washed-up golf pro
289
00:09:39,919 --> 00:09:41,451
who drank his way off the tour
290
00:09:41,452 --> 00:09:43,890
and is one step away from
writing a suicide note
291
00:09:43,891 --> 00:09:45,479
with one of them little pencils.
292
00:09:50,348 --> 00:09:52,273
Sorry. I didn't mean that.
293
00:09:52,274 --> 00:09:54,058
You wouldn't have said
it if you didn't mean it.
294
00:09:55,657 --> 00:09:58,090
I don't have the body to wear
the clothes they make today,
295
00:09:58,091 --> 00:09:59,608
so I dress comfortable.
296
00:10:00,017 --> 00:10:00,890
You're in shape, man.
297
00:10:00,891 --> 00:10:02,286
What are you? Late 50s?
298
00:10:02,287 --> 00:10:04,530
Come on. You know I'm not.
299
00:10:04,531 --> 00:10:05,490
I'm serious, man.
300
00:10:05,491 --> 00:10:07,807
Y... you look like you live at the gym.
301
00:10:07,808 --> 00:10:09,282
- I do some walking.
- Yeah?
302
00:10:09,283 --> 00:10:10,340
Pritchett, Williams,
303
00:10:10,341 --> 00:10:12,728
got another arrest over
by the Ferris wheel.
304
00:10:12,729 --> 00:10:13,584
On it.
305
00:10:14,184 --> 00:10:15,120
Here we go.
306
00:10:20,807 --> 00:10:21,883
Why'd we throw out the ice cream?
307
00:10:21,884 --> 00:10:22,996
We got plenty of time.
308
00:10:28,223 --> 00:10:29,336
Seeing Manny up there
309
00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:31,840
with the misfits and their crazy cakes,
310
00:10:31,841 --> 00:10:34,224
I started to wonder if Jay was right.
311
00:10:34,769 --> 00:10:36,102
Maybe Manny would fit in better
312
00:10:36,103 --> 00:10:38,098
if he was more like the other boys.
313
00:10:38,099 --> 00:10:40,367
And maybe I needed to
give him a little push.
314
00:10:46,232 --> 00:10:47,712
I saw you.
315
00:10:53,081 --> 00:10:54,361
All right, young lady.
316
00:10:54,770 --> 00:10:55,641
You're under arrest.
317
00:10:55,642 --> 00:10:57,838
- What?
- You have the right to remain silent.
318
00:10:57,839 --> 00:10:58,626
Good luck with that.
319
00:10:58,627 --> 00:10:59,642
Grandpa!
320
00:10:59,643 --> 00:11:01,372
Sorry, honey. Part of the job.
321
00:11:02,223 --> 00:11:03,067
Out of the way!
322
00:11:03,068 --> 00:11:03,766
Let's go.
323
00:11:03,767 --> 00:11:05,443
Who did this?!
324
00:11:05,847 --> 00:11:07,713
Hmm. I guess it's just you and me.
325
00:11:09,769 --> 00:11:12,052
My cake! Somebody ruined it!
326
00:11:12,248 --> 00:11:13,259
Who would do that?!
327
00:11:13,260 --> 00:11:16,184
Ay! Manny, how terrible.
All your hard work.
328
00:11:16,185 --> 00:11:17,365
Oh, well. Let's go ride the rides.
329
00:11:17,366 --> 00:11:19,577
No, no, no. Mom, I know who did it.
330
00:11:19,578 --> 00:11:20,483
Oh, you do?
331
00:11:20,602 --> 00:11:21,613
It was Enid.
332
00:11:21,744 --> 00:11:23,204
Ah. Look at her.
333
00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:24,783
You can see the hate in her eyes.
334
00:11:24,784 --> 00:11:26,992
The minute she saw this,
she felt threatened.
335
00:11:27,798 --> 00:11:29,252
She's cold as ice.
336
00:11:30,043 --> 00:11:31,805
How about you just let it go
337
00:11:31,806 --> 00:11:33,711
and go play with the other boys?
338
00:11:33,712 --> 00:11:35,262
Oh, she'd love that.
339
00:11:36,376 --> 00:11:37,460
Okay, Enid.
340
00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:40,255
You want to dance? Let's dance.
341
00:11:45,559 --> 00:11:47,147
Let me have my cellphone.
Come on. I got to make a call.
342
00:11:47,148 --> 00:11:48,929
Sorry. Those are the rules.
343
00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:50,857
What are you smiling at?
344
00:11:50,858 --> 00:11:52,056
I'm six.
345
00:11:52,057 --> 00:11:52,734
Oh, God.
346
00:11:52,735 --> 00:11:54,631
All right. Got another one for you here.
347
00:11:54,632 --> 00:11:55,866
Hi, honey.
348
00:11:55,867 --> 00:11:56,909
Come on.
349
00:11:57,028 --> 00:11:59,647
One count of being an
aggravating big sister.
350
00:11:59,648 --> 00:12:00,693
That's 8 to 10 minutes.
351
00:12:00,694 --> 00:12:02,767
Luke did this?! I was
just trying to help him.
352
00:12:02,768 --> 00:12:03,872
Help him do what?
353
00:12:03,873 --> 00:12:05,404
My friend Sienna and I
were trying to help him
354
00:12:05,405 --> 00:12:06,914
find this girl he has a crush on.
355
00:12:06,915 --> 00:12:09,589
Honey, Sienna is the
girl he has a crush on.
356
00:12:09,697 --> 00:12:11,439
Come on, haven't you ever
seen the way he looks at her?
357
00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:13,716
It's same way he used to
look at Halloween candy.
358
00:12:13,717 --> 00:12:15,364
Oh, my God. He's gonna do something stupid
359
00:12:15,365 --> 00:12:16,182
and ruin it for me.
360
00:12:16,183 --> 00:12:17,242
I have to get out of here.
361
00:12:17,243 --> 00:12:19,377
Okay. All right. I got a plan. I got this.
362
00:12:19,565 --> 00:12:20,630
I'm gonna create a distraction.
363
00:12:20,631 --> 00:12:22,446
Just got to get that
little guard over here.
364
00:12:22,447 --> 00:12:24,229
You're gonna sit down very quietly,
365
00:12:24,230 --> 00:12:25,065
right by the door.
366
00:12:25,066 --> 00:12:27,515
Great plan, mom. Let me know
how that works out for you.
367
00:12:30,736 --> 00:12:31,877
It's a fake lock.
368
00:12:32,163 --> 00:12:33,693
How long were you gonna sit on that?
369
00:12:36,948 --> 00:12:37,830
Found another one.
370
00:12:37,883 --> 00:12:38,674
I told you.
371
00:12:38,675 --> 00:12:40,051
Are you gonna do that every time?
372
00:12:40,052 --> 00:12:40,848
You found glass,
373
00:12:40,849 --> 00:12:42,142
not the lost city of Atlanta.
374
00:12:42,143 --> 00:12:43,432
Wow, I'm gonna chalk that one up
375
00:12:43,433 --> 00:12:44,693
to a lot of underage drinking.
376
00:12:44,694 --> 00:12:46,148
- You're bleeding.
- What?
377
00:12:47,615 --> 00:12:49,787
I do not like blood. I do not like blood.
378
00:12:49,788 --> 00:12:51,023
- Is it bad?
- Here.
379
00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:52,989
- Oh, my God!
- What?
380
00:12:52,990 --> 00:12:55,497
Your fingers are so
stubby, like baby carrots.
381
00:12:55,498 --> 00:12:56,641
Sure. Okay.
382
00:12:56,642 --> 00:12:57,601
Make fun...
383
00:12:57,769 --> 00:12:59,354
till you need me to reach
into a vending machine,
384
00:12:59,355 --> 00:13:00,384
then I'm everyone's best friend.
385
00:13:00,385 --> 00:13:01,242
Here. Hold still.
386
00:13:01,243 --> 00:13:02,581
Let me put some pressure on it.
387
00:13:03,845 --> 00:13:05,556
So, why are you a manny, anyway?
388
00:13:05,614 --> 00:13:06,943
Saving up for college.
389
00:13:07,192 --> 00:13:08,270
Plus, I like kids.
390
00:13:09,277 --> 00:13:10,842
'Cause they make your hands seem normal?
391
00:13:11,311 --> 00:13:12,996
Okay. Thank you.
392
00:13:13,092 --> 00:13:14,347
I'm good. Thank you.
393
00:13:16,051 --> 00:13:17,766
Luke, I hate to say it,
394
00:13:17,767 --> 00:13:19,248
but maybe this girl left.
395
00:13:19,249 --> 00:13:20,755
It's probably for the best.
396
00:13:20,756 --> 00:13:22,469
I mean, even if I found her...
397
00:13:22,653 --> 00:13:24,581
ah, forget it. It's embarrassing.
398
00:13:24,582 --> 00:13:26,373
No. Tell me.
399
00:13:27,074 --> 00:13:28,332
I wouldn't know what to do.
400
00:13:28,907 --> 00:13:30,095
I've never kissed a girl before.
401
00:13:30,096 --> 00:13:32,486
Oh! It's not that hard.
402
00:13:32,665 --> 00:13:33,409
You know what?
403
00:13:33,410 --> 00:13:35,037
I'll kiss you once to
show you how it's done.
404
00:13:35,038 --> 00:13:36,971
Really? Okay. Want to
go behind the dumpster?
405
00:13:36,972 --> 00:13:38,679
No. Here is fine.
406
00:13:38,680 --> 00:13:42,415
Okay. It's not really
how I imagined it, but...
407
00:13:43,305 --> 00:13:44,174
Stop!
408
00:13:44,382 --> 00:13:45,987
- What?
- Ignore her. Where were we?
409
00:13:45,988 --> 00:13:47,577
You're the girl! You're his crush!
410
00:13:47,578 --> 00:13:49,766
He's being a little weirdo!
Please don't judge me!
411
00:13:49,946 --> 00:13:51,613
Uh, Luke, is this true?
412
00:13:51,730 --> 00:13:53,545
She's a nerd! Her friends are books!
413
00:13:53,546 --> 00:13:55,221
You're the best thing
that's ever happened to her!
414
00:13:55,222 --> 00:13:57,703
- Alex?
- Um, I don't know what he's talking about!
415
00:13:57,704 --> 00:14:00,205
Okay, I'm just gonna go
catch up with some friends.
416
00:14:01,047 --> 00:14:02,235
Sienna, wait!
417
00:14:04,316 --> 00:14:06,351
Don't be sad. You're
too good for her anyways.
418
00:14:06,352 --> 00:14:08,429
Yeah. Thanks, Alex.
419
00:14:08,430 --> 00:14:09,225
Not you.
420
00:14:09,226 --> 00:14:11,280
I was talking about
myself, you little gnome.
421
00:14:12,810 --> 00:14:14,216
There he is.
422
00:14:14,693 --> 00:14:16,855
One more arrest and we
can hang up our badges.
423
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:18,470
I've seen this punk horsing around earlier.
424
00:14:18,471 --> 00:14:19,865
I'm gonna enjoy this.
425
00:14:21,121 --> 00:14:23,716
Jail time, jean jacket.
426
00:14:30,047 --> 00:14:32,071
- Is it bad?
- You're gonna be fine.
427
00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:34,691
Aah! I should have worn a vest.
428
00:14:35,370 --> 00:14:37,710
Why is everyone just standing around?!
429
00:14:37,726 --> 00:14:39,838
Get this man a towel for his blouse!
430
00:14:42,155 --> 00:14:43,219
So cold.
431
00:14:45,362 --> 00:14:46,709
We were almost out.
432
00:14:47,836 --> 00:14:50,130
- I didn't want it to end like this.
- Don't you do that!
433
00:14:50,263 --> 00:14:51,186
It's not over!
434
00:14:51,187 --> 00:14:52,029
Listen to me.
435
00:14:53,569 --> 00:14:55,354
I need you to tell my wife what happened.
436
00:14:56,259 --> 00:14:57,476
Tell her it wasn't my fault.
437
00:14:57,477 --> 00:14:59,205
You're gonna tell her yourself.
438
00:14:59,458 --> 00:15:01,352
She's standing right
there, and she looks pissed.
439
00:15:02,916 --> 00:15:04,232
Hi, baby.
440
00:15:06,881 --> 00:15:07,658
Phil...
441
00:15:08,090 --> 00:15:10,028
Phil, when I said we needed
to go home, I meant it.
442
00:15:10,029 --> 00:15:12,214
I'm sorry. I should have listened to you.
443
00:15:12,215 --> 00:15:15,314
But you have to stay for just one song.
444
00:15:15,315 --> 00:15:16,226
Why?
445
00:15:16,309 --> 00:15:17,151
Trust me.
446
00:15:18,045 --> 00:15:19,868
Whoo! How's everybody doing?!
447
00:15:19,869 --> 00:15:21,206
Good!
448
00:15:21,224 --> 00:15:22,443
All right, next up, we have
449
00:15:22,444 --> 00:15:24,394
a very special guest joining us.
450
00:15:24,418 --> 00:15:26,720
Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for...
451
00:15:27,291 --> 00:15:28,968
- Harold Grossman!
- Wait.
452
00:15:29,708 --> 00:15:30,502
What?
453
00:15:31,391 --> 00:15:33,860
Uh, never really done
anything like this before.
454
00:15:34,688 --> 00:15:37,409
Uh, some of the gang down at the pharmacy
455
00:15:37,701 --> 00:15:39,604
talked me into it, so...
456
00:15:43,523 --> 00:15:46,080
♪ Gotta take a little time ♪
457
00:15:47,598 --> 00:15:51,273
♪ A little time to think things over ♪
458
00:15:53,034 --> 00:15:55,904
♪ I'd better read between the lines ♪
459
00:15:57,229 --> 00:16:01,374
♪ In case I need it when I'm older ♪
460
00:16:02,471 --> 00:16:04,691
♪ In my life ♪
461
00:16:04,692 --> 00:16:07,188
Turns out Harold Grossman, our pharmacist,
462
00:16:07,189 --> 00:16:08,070
is a rock star.
463
00:16:08,071 --> 00:16:10,093
His voice is the drug
he should be dispensing,
464
00:16:10,094 --> 00:16:12,125
because apparently, it's
the cure for everything.
465
00:16:12,249 --> 00:16:14,798
- Time to go. Let's go.
- No, no, no, no, no!
466
00:16:14,799 --> 00:16:17,515
Stay, stay, stay, stay!
Come on, he's great! Whoo!
467
00:16:19,715 --> 00:16:23,338
♪ I want you to show me ♪
468
00:16:24,888 --> 00:16:28,977
♪ I want to feel what love is ♪
469
00:16:29,107 --> 00:16:30,787
♪ And I know, and I know ♪
470
00:16:30,788 --> 00:16:35,349
♪ I know you can show me ♪
471
00:16:37,363 --> 00:16:39,377
Oh, he's incredible!
472
00:16:39,378 --> 00:16:42,733
- I know.
- Incredible!
473
00:16:43,584 --> 00:16:45,541
Harold Grossman, everybody!
474
00:16:46,377 --> 00:16:47,670
Holy cow!
475
00:16:48,129 --> 00:16:49,161
Who knew?!
476
00:16:50,606 --> 00:16:52,052
Let's keep this party going.
477
00:16:52,053 --> 00:16:53,821
Next up, we have one more guest today.
478
00:16:53,822 --> 00:16:54,757
Oh, no.
479
00:16:54,758 --> 00:16:55,932
Harold, yeah.
480
00:16:55,933 --> 00:16:57,690
Harold, Harold!
481
00:16:58,149 --> 00:16:59,428
Okay, now. Okay.
482
00:16:59,450 --> 00:17:01,329
Maybe Harold can come back a little later.
483
00:17:05,051 --> 00:17:06,473
But in the meantime,
484
00:17:06,474 --> 00:17:09,098
the Dad Beats are proud to present...
485
00:17:09,099 --> 00:17:10,410
Phil Dunphy!
486
00:17:10,411 --> 00:17:11,371
Paul who?
487
00:17:11,597 --> 00:17:12,697
Phil?
488
00:17:13,961 --> 00:17:14,748
Phil Dunphy.
489
00:17:14,749 --> 00:17:16,702
- Oh, Phil Dunphy.
- Oh, boy.
490
00:17:26,316 --> 00:17:27,852
There's a white minivan
out in the parking lot
491
00:17:27,853 --> 00:17:33,450
with its lights on...
license plate number TCB-R2D2.
492
00:17:36,542 --> 00:17:37,991
Phil Dunphy, everybody.
493
00:17:40,467 --> 00:17:41,718
Hey, mom. Check it out.
494
00:17:41,719 --> 00:17:43,596
- I finished my cake.
- Oh, good.
495
00:17:43,713 --> 00:17:46,547
It's Los Angeles after an 11.5 earthquake.
496
00:17:46,548 --> 00:17:48,939
I call it earth-cake.
497
00:17:49,986 --> 00:17:51,613
Manny, that's amazing!
498
00:17:51,614 --> 00:17:52,674
You think that's amazing?
499
00:17:52,675 --> 00:17:53,809
Wait till I smash this thing
500
00:17:53,810 --> 00:17:55,028
right on top of Enid's piece of sheet cake.
501
00:17:55,029 --> 00:17:58,160
No, no, no! Wait! Manny, Enid didn't do it.
502
00:17:58,161 --> 00:17:59,726
- I did it.
- What?
503
00:18:00,123 --> 00:18:01,891
I was the one who ruined the cake.
504
00:18:01,892 --> 00:18:05,255
I was afraid that all those
boys were gonna make fun of you.
505
00:18:05,608 --> 00:18:08,984
I think I care more about
you fitting in than you do.
506
00:18:09,018 --> 00:18:10,746
No. I care.
507
00:18:10,969 --> 00:18:12,072
I care a lot.
508
00:18:12,361 --> 00:18:14,104
It's just the stuff I'm good at
509
00:18:14,105 --> 00:18:15,944
isn't the stuff that makes you popular.
510
00:18:16,153 --> 00:18:17,874
Contestants, all cakes
511
00:18:17,875 --> 00:18:20,744
must be at the judges' table in 60 seconds.
512
00:18:21,090 --> 00:18:23,730
Ay, there's no way we're gonna
make it through that crowd.
513
00:18:23,731 --> 00:18:25,655
Like heck we won't. Here.
514
00:18:25,656 --> 00:18:27,499
- What?
- Follow my lead.
515
00:18:27,500 --> 00:18:28,893
- Okay.
- Ready? Come on.
516
00:18:29,298 --> 00:18:32,284
Oh, well, look who finally
put down his mallet.
517
00:18:32,285 --> 00:18:33,883
You done having your little temper tantrum?
518
00:18:33,884 --> 00:18:35,001
It wasn't that bad.
519
00:18:35,002 --> 00:18:37,199
Cam, your behavior was completely juvenile,
520
00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:38,650
and I don't think that it
set a very good example...
521
00:18:38,651 --> 00:18:40,603
Hey, hey! No cutsies...
522
00:18:40,970 --> 00:18:41,872
for Lily.
523
00:18:42,025 --> 00:18:43,719
I'm sorry. I'm just frustrated.
524
00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:47,536
I... I can't seem to turn
this team into a winner.
525
00:18:47,821 --> 00:18:49,649
Oh, why do you let it
get you so stressed out?
526
00:18:49,650 --> 00:18:51,053
It's just football.
527
00:18:51,054 --> 00:18:52,713
You know what football was to me?
528
00:18:52,935 --> 00:18:54,608
Football was my salvation.
529
00:18:54,609 --> 00:18:56,086
Every time I stepped onto that field,
530
00:18:56,087 --> 00:18:59,482
I wasn't the weird gay
outsider kid anymore.
531
00:19:00,081 --> 00:19:01,678
I inspired my entire team
532
00:19:01,679 --> 00:19:03,548
because I had something to prove.
533
00:19:03,549 --> 00:19:05,941
Where's my kid that has something to prove?
534
00:19:05,942 --> 00:19:06,788
Come on mom!
535
00:19:06,789 --> 00:19:08,302
Stay on my hip! Follow my lead!
536
00:19:08,303 --> 00:19:09,010
Move!
537
00:19:09,494 --> 00:19:11,335
That's exactly what I need.
538
00:19:11,730 --> 00:19:14,459
Oh! Come on! Come on, mom.
539
00:19:14,914 --> 00:19:15,815
Cake?
540
00:19:16,620 --> 00:19:17,737
Tell them the good news.
541
00:19:17,738 --> 00:19:19,667
- I won the cake contest!
- The other good news.
542
00:19:19,668 --> 00:19:20,676
He made the football team.
543
00:19:20,677 --> 00:19:22,062
They won their first game.
544
00:19:22,063 --> 00:19:24,187
And the guys love my banana bread.
545
00:19:25,817 --> 00:19:28,378
Keep your eyes closed,
and before you open them,
546
00:19:28,419 --> 00:19:30,488
remember that for 20 years,
547
00:19:30,489 --> 00:19:34,245
you have given me perfect,
creative, thoughtful gifts.
548
00:19:34,246 --> 00:19:36,238
And every year, I have let you down.
549
00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:38,953
You're about to feel
really bad, and I know that,
550
00:19:38,954 --> 00:19:41,846
because it's how I have felt every year.
551
00:19:42,054 --> 00:19:43,599
But, honey, it is not my intention,
552
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:45,739
because I love you.
553
00:19:46,705 --> 00:19:48,602
Happy anniversary.
554
00:19:48,603 --> 00:19:53,229
Oh, my God. Chinese acrobats?!
555
00:19:53,276 --> 00:19:55,133
20 years China.
556
00:19:55,134 --> 00:19:57,132
You're brilliant.
557
00:19:58,810 --> 00:20:01,312
- You got it!
- Hey, guys! You're my present!
558
00:20:01,316 --> 00:20:03,088
Oh... oh, what's that?
559
00:20:05,117 --> 00:20:06,041
That's the helicopter.
I should get in there.
560
00:20:06,042 --> 00:20:07,919
No, no, they're... they're here for you.
561
00:20:08,259 --> 00:20:09,344
They're here for you.
562
00:20:10,743 --> 00:20:12,317
Oh... honey.
563
00:20:20,370 --> 00:20:22,300
Don't worry, it was just a couple of beers,
564
00:20:22,301 --> 00:20:23,601
and if you cleaned it up...
565
00:20:23,954 --> 00:20:25,336
Okay, Haley, I love you, too. Bye.
566
00:20:25,337 --> 00:20:26,439
Excuse me, ma'am.
567
00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:28,814
I hear you're a wanted woman.
568
00:20:29,352 --> 00:20:31,883
What you see can and
will be held against you.
569
00:20:31,884 --> 00:20:33,789
You're gonna have to arrest me first.
570
00:20:33,986 --> 00:20:35,378
Bring me some wine.
571
00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:40,525
Mr. P., I have a confession to make.
572
00:20:40,526 --> 00:20:43,230
I'm taking a much more
interesting confession upstairs.
573
00:20:43,464 --> 00:20:44,449
After Joe went down,
574
00:20:44,450 --> 00:20:46,230
I had a sip of beer by the pool,
575
00:20:46,867 --> 00:20:47,851
and a bottle broke.
576
00:20:47,852 --> 00:20:49,651
- It was me. I did it.
- Don't sweat it.
577
00:20:49,652 --> 00:20:51,919
I popped a cold one after
dealing with those kids...
578
00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:53,259
Sometimes during.
579
00:20:53,260 --> 00:20:54,879
Thanks, Mr. P. And, hey...
580
00:20:56,037 --> 00:20:57,295
Be careful up there.
581
00:20:57,296 --> 00:20:58,534
We are not that close.
582
00:20:59,935 --> 00:21:06,050
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- www.addic7ed.com -
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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