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1
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["Love" by Michael Bublé playing]
2
00:01:04,169 --> 00:01:05,462
[gun cocks]
3
00:01:08,006 --> 00:01:09,049
[loud burst]
4
00:01:19,893 --> 00:01:21,686
[people chattering]
5
00:01:22,813 --> 00:01:24,105
[sighs deeply]
6
00:01:27,526 --> 00:01:28,527
[man 1] There she is!
7
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[cheering and applauding]
8
00:01:31,321 --> 00:01:32,531
Gloria!
9
00:01:32,614 --> 00:01:33,990
Hi.
10
00:01:34,074 --> 00:01:35,075
Welcome!
11
00:01:35,158 --> 00:01:36,827
-You look great.
-Thank you!
12
00:01:36,910 --> 00:01:39,204
-Darcy, where have you been?
-Hey! Hi!
13
00:01:39,287 --> 00:01:41,832
I was just taking a minute.
Is that allowed?
14
00:01:41,915 --> 00:01:43,291
Not at your wedding.
15
00:01:43,375 --> 00:01:45,877
-Your Ketel One martini.
-Oh.
16
00:01:45,961 --> 00:01:47,587
Obrigada, Jerome.
17
00:01:48,630 --> 00:01:50,590
Where is the groomzilla?
18
00:01:50,674 --> 00:01:52,592
Tom is not a groomzilla, okay?
19
00:01:52,676 --> 00:01:56,346
He just committed to making
every detail perfect.
20
00:01:56,429 --> 00:01:59,474
You should have taken your father's money
for this wedding.
21
00:01:59,558 --> 00:02:02,978
Then, professionals would make
everything perfecto for you.
22
00:02:03,061 --> 00:02:04,771
Mom, I've told you. We are adults
23
00:02:04,855 --> 00:02:08,692
and we wanted to pay for our own wedding
so it could be what we wanted.
24
00:02:08,775 --> 00:02:11,278
And this is what you wanted?
25
00:02:11,736 --> 00:02:13,071
That was a printing error.
26
00:02:13,154 --> 00:02:15,866
["Love" by Michael Bublé
continues playing]
27
00:02:15,949 --> 00:02:21,872
♪ E is even more than
Anyone that you adore ♪
28
00:02:21,955 --> 00:02:28,503
♪ And love is all
That I can give to you ♪
29
00:02:29,129 --> 00:02:34,718
♪ Love is more than
Just a game for two ♪
30
00:02:35,969 --> 00:02:39,180
♪ Two in love can make it ♪
31
00:02:40,932 --> 00:02:42,434
[drill whirring]
32
00:02:42,517 --> 00:02:47,314
♪ Love was made
For me and you ♪
33
00:02:47,397 --> 00:02:48,732
-Hoy!
-[clicking]
34
00:02:48,815 --> 00:02:49,858
Oh! Oh!
35
00:02:53,236 --> 00:02:55,071
Oh! Hey!
36
00:02:55,155 --> 00:02:57,198
Oh, I almost shoot you!
37
00:02:57,282 --> 00:02:59,367
I thought you're a pirate
but you're just a guy.
38
00:02:59,451 --> 00:03:01,953
-[guard laughing]
-[grunts]
39
00:03:02,037 --> 00:03:05,373
[sighs] Ah, this is for your bride, huh?
40
00:03:06,416 --> 00:03:08,376
{\an8}[Tom] Yeah, trying to surprise her.
41
00:03:08,460 --> 00:03:10,879
{\an8}I saw something just like it on Etsy,
42
00:03:10,962 --> 00:03:14,382
{\an8}and it looked perfect,
but now I'm not so sure.
43
00:03:15,050 --> 00:03:18,178
Now, I wanna be romantic
but not too corny.
44
00:03:18,261 --> 00:03:20,096
There's a really fine line
between the two.
45
00:03:21,723 --> 00:03:23,516
Aren't you supposed to be over there?
46
00:03:24,517 --> 00:03:26,770
Your rehearsal party.
47
00:03:26,853 --> 00:03:27,938
Oh, my God!
48
00:03:28,313 --> 00:03:31,566
I need you to talk
to your father's yoga teacher.
49
00:03:31,650 --> 00:03:33,610
-Girlfriend?
-Yeah, whatever.
50
00:03:33,693 --> 00:03:35,570
She keeps smiling at me.
51
00:03:35,654 --> 00:03:38,615
Can you tell her to stop smiling at me?
52
00:03:38,698 --> 00:03:39,699
Yes, Mom.
53
00:03:39,783 --> 00:03:42,160
I will tell Dad's girlfriend
to stop smiling at you.
54
00:03:42,243 --> 00:03:43,703
That won't cause any issues.
55
00:03:43,787 --> 00:03:46,581
Also, I cannot sit at a table
with Tom's mother.
56
00:03:46,665 --> 00:03:51,252
On the boat here, she tried to start
a sing-along to South Pacific.
57
00:03:51,336 --> 00:03:53,129
She's excited. Okay?
58
00:03:53,213 --> 00:03:55,215
She's never been out
of the country before.
59
00:03:55,298 --> 00:03:56,967
What kind of a grown woman
has never left the country?
60
00:03:57,050 --> 00:03:58,802
Please, Mom, for two days,
can you just get along with...
61
00:03:58,885 --> 00:04:00,220
Carol!
62
00:04:00,303 --> 00:04:03,014
♪ I'm gonna wash that man
Right outta my hair ♪
63
00:04:03,098 --> 00:04:06,476
♪ I'm gonna wash that man
Right outta my hair ♪
64
00:04:06,559 --> 00:04:09,354
♪ And send him on his way ♪
65
00:04:09,437 --> 00:04:11,147
[both laughing]
66
00:04:12,273 --> 00:04:13,608
I've been looking forward to this moment
67
00:04:13,692 --> 00:04:16,152
ever since baby Tommy
was cut out of my abdomen.
68
00:04:16,236 --> 00:04:17,821
-[laughs forcefully]
-Oh, my God,
69
00:04:17,904 --> 00:04:19,990
I have never been
on a private island before.
70
00:04:20,073 --> 00:04:22,701
I've never been even on an island before.
71
00:04:22,784 --> 00:04:24,077
Actually, you know what? That's not true.
72
00:04:24,160 --> 00:04:26,454
I went with the Heibermans.
We went to Mackinac, you know,
73
00:04:26,538 --> 00:04:28,206
before they moved to Bloomington.
74
00:04:28,957 --> 00:04:30,792
Have you ever been to Mackinac, Renata?
75
00:04:30,875 --> 00:04:33,920
I don't know what that is
or most of the words you just said.
76
00:04:34,004 --> 00:04:36,006
[Carol] Wouldn't she just love it, Larry?
77
00:04:36,089 --> 00:04:37,424
Oh. Hi, Darcy.
78
00:04:37,507 --> 00:04:38,508
Hey, Larry.
79
00:04:38,591 --> 00:04:40,218
I didn't see you there. [laughs]
80
00:04:40,301 --> 00:04:41,803
-Hi.
-[Larry] Hi, Renata.
81
00:04:41,886 --> 00:04:43,388
[Carol] Guess what? We got you a gift.
82
00:04:43,471 --> 00:04:45,181
-Oh, you didn't have to.
-[Carol] Yes, we did.
83
00:04:45,265 --> 00:04:46,975
It's the biggest day
of our lives tomorrow.
84
00:04:47,058 --> 00:04:48,059
What are you talking about?
85
00:04:48,143 --> 00:04:50,395
-Come on, open it.
-Okay. [chuckles]
86
00:04:51,771 --> 00:04:53,857
-Larry, she's opening.
-I get... Oh.
87
00:04:53,940 --> 00:04:55,191
Ah-uh-huh.
88
00:04:55,275 --> 00:04:57,318
Oh. Someone just left that
in the bathroom.
89
00:05:00,155 --> 00:05:01,990
[Tom] Oh, you're a lifesaver, Margy.
90
00:05:02,073 --> 00:05:03,450
I cannot believe I'm late for this.
91
00:05:03,533 --> 00:05:04,826
The guests are already mingling,
92
00:05:04,909 --> 00:05:07,954
and your Darcy is talking
to both the mothers.
93
00:05:10,331 --> 00:05:12,500
Oh, no. Go. Go, go, go, go, go, go.
94
00:05:13,918 --> 00:05:15,128
[Darcy] Oh!
95
00:05:15,837 --> 00:05:18,381
[Renata] You got my daughter rusty knives?
96
00:05:18,465 --> 00:05:20,592
It's your "something borrowed."
97
00:05:20,675 --> 00:05:23,136
Everyone in our family uses
them on their wedding day.
98
00:05:23,219 --> 00:05:25,430
Brings you a lifetime of good luck.
99
00:05:25,513 --> 00:05:26,639
Except for Uncle Greg
100
00:05:26,723 --> 00:05:29,434
who ended up getting
decapitated on that forklift.
101
00:05:29,517 --> 00:05:31,269
But that's not the knife's fault.
102
00:05:31,352 --> 00:05:32,604
[man] Darcy!
103
00:05:32,687 --> 00:05:34,105
Dad!
104
00:05:34,689 --> 00:05:36,524
[praises in Spanish]
105
00:05:36,608 --> 00:05:38,234
-Gracias.
-[both] Mm.
106
00:05:38,318 --> 00:05:40,445
-[Carol laughing]
-Carol, you look lovely.
107
00:05:40,528 --> 00:05:42,447
[kissing] Mm. Mm.
108
00:05:43,114 --> 00:05:44,240
Larry, hello, sir.
109
00:05:44,324 --> 00:05:45,533
-[Larry] Hey!
-I'm gonna kiss you too.
110
00:05:45,617 --> 00:05:47,118
-Oh.
-Mm.
111
00:05:47,202 --> 00:05:49,120
-Sorry. Done?
-Yeah, okay.
112
00:05:50,789 --> 00:05:52,207
Renata.
113
00:05:52,791 --> 00:05:54,042
Roberto.
114
00:05:55,335 --> 00:05:57,879
I love that you two are still friends.
115
00:05:58,546 --> 00:05:59,756
-Peekaboo! [chuckles]
-Oh.
116
00:05:59,839 --> 00:06:01,132
Hi!
117
00:06:01,216 --> 00:06:03,093
[both] Mwah. Mwah.
118
00:06:03,176 --> 00:06:05,261
Mm!
119
00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:09,557
Oh, Darcy, I am so honored to bear witness
120
00:06:09,641 --> 00:06:12,936
to this sacred observance
of rebirth and devotion.
121
00:06:14,020 --> 00:06:16,648
-Same.
-Thank you. [chuckles]
122
00:06:18,066 --> 00:06:19,734
[gasps] Renata.
123
00:06:19,818 --> 00:06:21,945
[dramatic music plays]
124
00:06:23,530 --> 00:06:26,116
I need to go to the ladies' room.
125
00:06:26,199 --> 00:06:27,617
[Carol] Hey, me too.
126
00:06:27,700 --> 00:06:30,745
When I'm in formal wear,
I like to pee standing up. How about you?
127
00:06:32,705 --> 00:06:34,040
-Sorry.
-That's okay.
128
00:06:34,124 --> 00:06:35,291
Thank you, Margy.
129
00:06:38,044 --> 00:06:39,045
Oh, hey.
130
00:06:41,881 --> 00:06:43,550
-Hey.
-[Tom] How are you?
131
00:06:43,633 --> 00:06:45,009
[Darcy sighs]
132
00:06:46,136 --> 00:06:47,804
-Oh.
-[whispers] Oh, my God.
133
00:06:47,887 --> 00:06:49,055
-That's for you.
-Thanks.
134
00:06:49,472 --> 00:06:50,473
Big papi.
135
00:06:50,557 --> 00:06:52,475
-My man. Mwah.
-[Robert grunts]
136
00:06:52,559 --> 00:06:54,978
-This... I just...
-Nice to see you, Dad.
137
00:06:55,061 --> 00:06:57,147
-Señor.
-Let's just, uh, stick
138
00:06:57,230 --> 00:06:58,565
-with "Robert" for a little while.
-[Harriett chuckles]
139
00:06:58,648 --> 00:06:59,983
-Right. Robert.
-[Harriett] Tom, I heard
140
00:07:00,066 --> 00:07:02,152
you were the one who found
this incredible resort.
141
00:07:02,235 --> 00:07:04,112
-Yeah. I did.
-Yes.
142
00:07:04,195 --> 00:07:07,448
I actually study bioresonance,
and this place is
143
00:07:07,532 --> 00:07:09,033
teeming with energetic vibrations.
144
00:07:09,117 --> 00:07:11,035
-[Darcy] Mm.
-[Robert] It's just like
145
00:07:11,119 --> 00:07:12,996
-our room teeming with bugs.
-[both laugh]
146
00:07:13,079 --> 00:07:17,375
The, uh, Four Seasons would've been nice,
but you didn't want my help, so...
147
00:07:17,458 --> 00:07:18,459
Some things are more important
148
00:07:18,543 --> 00:07:19,586
-than money, Dad.
-Yeah.
149
00:07:19,669 --> 00:07:21,254
That's debatable. [chuckles]
150
00:07:21,671 --> 00:07:23,089
Well, I need another drink.
151
00:07:23,173 --> 00:07:24,382
-Yeah.
-[speaks Spanish]
152
00:07:24,465 --> 00:07:26,176
No, I'm good. Gracias.
153
00:07:26,259 --> 00:07:27,510
[Robert] Okay, well...
154
00:07:28,344 --> 00:07:29,387
I'm fine.
155
00:07:30,388 --> 00:07:32,932
[sighs] Is he ever gonna like me?
156
00:07:33,016 --> 00:07:36,144
Yes, if you just chill out
and start acting like yourself.
157
00:07:37,478 --> 00:07:39,147
[whispers] God, our families are a lot.
158
00:07:39,606 --> 00:07:41,566
-What do you mean?
-And where have you been?
159
00:07:41,649 --> 00:07:43,151
I was just finishing up a little project.
160
00:07:43,234 --> 00:07:44,235
What'd I miss?
161
00:07:44,319 --> 00:07:46,696
Oh, well, your mom gave me cursed knives.
162
00:07:46,779 --> 00:07:49,324
And then my mom almost yelled
at my dad's girlfriend for smiling.
163
00:07:49,407 --> 00:07:50,658
-Oh.
-Oh, also,
164
00:07:50,742 --> 00:07:53,578
your cousin, Amy, asked where
she could charge her vibrator.
165
00:07:53,661 --> 00:07:55,580
Oh, so, Cousin Amy came?
166
00:07:55,663 --> 00:07:56,915
She will soon.
167
00:07:56,998 --> 00:07:59,125
-[laughs]
-Um, what are you wearing?
168
00:07:59,209 --> 00:08:00,293
Oh, it's, uh...
169
00:08:00,376 --> 00:08:01,628
Why is your hair all wet?
170
00:08:01,711 --> 00:08:03,129
Oh, I... I just... I...
171
00:08:03,213 --> 00:08:05,548
You know, I went
for a little moonlight swim.
172
00:08:06,007 --> 00:08:07,258
You fell in the water, didn't you?
173
00:08:07,342 --> 00:08:09,219
Yeah, I fell in the water. [laughing]
174
00:08:11,596 --> 00:08:13,806
You know, it's kinda cute
how bad you are at lying.
175
00:08:18,686 --> 00:08:21,272
Just... Just promise me...
176
00:08:22,398 --> 00:08:25,276
Promise me, you won't let go of my hand
for the rest of the night, okay?
177
00:08:25,360 --> 00:08:26,486
I promise.
178
00:08:26,569 --> 00:08:28,696
["Pony" by Ginuwine plays on speakers]
179
00:08:28,780 --> 00:08:29,864
Ace.
180
00:08:30,782 --> 00:08:33,076
Ace just put on the honeymoon playlist.
I need to change it.
181
00:08:33,159 --> 00:08:35,203
Well, is "need" the right word?
182
00:08:35,286 --> 00:08:36,746
-Dad, please.
-[Larry] Oh, yeah.
183
00:08:38,331 --> 00:08:39,332
[song stops playing]
184
00:08:39,415 --> 00:08:40,875
Tommy, Tommy, I need you
for, like, five minutes.
185
00:08:40,959 --> 00:08:42,126
-What? No, no, no, no.
-It's an emergency.
186
00:08:42,210 --> 00:08:43,628
I've been working
on my best-man speech, right,
187
00:08:43,711 --> 00:08:45,129
and it is going really well.
188
00:08:45,838 --> 00:08:47,548
-Hi.
-Hey.
189
00:08:48,091 --> 00:08:50,468
-[imperceptible]
-[music plays on speakers]
190
00:08:50,969 --> 00:08:53,346
Dad's girlfriend just asked me
what my love language is.
191
00:08:54,264 --> 00:08:55,473
She sucks.
192
00:08:55,890 --> 00:08:57,642
Happiest I've seen you in 20 years.
193
00:08:57,725 --> 00:08:58,810
-Thanks.
-Cheers.
194
00:08:58,893 --> 00:09:01,229
[helicopter approaching]
195
00:09:06,985 --> 00:09:09,404
[upbeat hip-hop music playing]
196
00:09:09,862 --> 00:09:10,863
[Jamie gasps]
197
00:09:11,656 --> 00:09:13,116
Dad invited your ex?
198
00:09:19,163 --> 00:09:21,541
God! How does he just keep getting hotter?
199
00:09:21,624 --> 00:09:24,127
Looks like he's leading a porn safari.
200
00:09:24,585 --> 00:09:26,087
I didn't wanna invite him,
201
00:09:26,170 --> 00:09:29,799
but Dad insisted because
he said Bali was so close.
202
00:09:29,882 --> 00:09:31,342
Wow. Wow, wow, wow. wow, wow.
203
00:09:31,426 --> 00:09:33,553
Dad is a messy bitch who loves the drama.
204
00:09:33,636 --> 00:09:36,889
[Darcy] Well, he never RSVP'd,
so we thought we were in the clear.
205
00:09:38,516 --> 00:09:42,228
I didn't think he'd actually come.
You know, he never RSVP'd.
206
00:09:42,312 --> 00:09:45,982
No, that's a very, very cool move.
I'm really excited to meet him.
207
00:09:46,899 --> 00:09:48,568
Oops, looks like he was in a rush
208
00:09:48,651 --> 00:09:50,361
and forgot to button
his shirt all the way up.
209
00:09:50,445 --> 00:09:51,529
Deedee. [exhales sharply]
210
00:09:51,612 --> 00:09:52,780
-Hey, man, how are you?
-Hey.
211
00:09:52,864 --> 00:09:54,657
Hi, Sean! [laughs]
212
00:09:54,741 --> 00:09:57,744
[Sean grunts] I am so sorry that I'm late.
213
00:09:57,827 --> 00:09:59,579
Your dad needed me to go to Japan
at the last minute,
214
00:09:59,662 --> 00:10:01,706
and then, you know,
I had to charter a jet from Kyoto,
215
00:10:01,789 --> 00:10:03,791
-just like a whole thing.
-No, it's okay. We just...
216
00:10:03,875 --> 00:10:05,293
You know, we didn't know you were coming.
217
00:10:05,376 --> 00:10:07,587
[Sean] Your dad and I
wanted to surprise you.
218
00:10:07,670 --> 00:10:09,547
Look, babe, you know I wasn't
gonna miss your wedding
219
00:10:09,630 --> 00:10:12,091
for anything in this world, right?
220
00:10:12,175 --> 00:10:13,968
-Sean, I want you to meet Tom.
-Tom.
221
00:10:14,052 --> 00:10:15,720
-Oh, hey! [chuckles]
-Tom!
222
00:10:15,803 --> 00:10:17,680
-Tom, Tom, Tom.
-Sean. Yeah.
223
00:10:17,764 --> 00:10:18,806
-Nice to meet you.
-Hey, Tom.
224
00:10:18,890 --> 00:10:22,060
Man, I have been dying
to meet Deedee's ball player, man.
225
00:10:22,143 --> 00:10:23,353
What position you play?
226
00:10:23,436 --> 00:10:25,188
-I'm a... Well, I...
-He's a designated hitter.
227
00:10:25,271 --> 00:10:27,607
[Robert] Uh, unfortunately,
they didn't pick up his contract,
228
00:10:27,690 --> 00:10:29,567
so, technically, he's unemployed, but...
229
00:10:30,276 --> 00:10:31,944
Cut from the minors at 40.
230
00:10:32,028 --> 00:10:34,739
That's a tough break, Tom.
But if you stay positive,
231
00:10:34,822 --> 00:10:37,033
you could have
a really great future in coaching.
232
00:10:37,116 --> 00:10:38,076
You know what I mean?
233
00:10:39,619 --> 00:10:40,620
Yeah.
234
00:10:41,204 --> 00:10:42,663
That is an excellent idea.
235
00:10:42,747 --> 00:10:43,873
-I think so.
-Thank you.
236
00:10:43,956 --> 00:10:44,957
Yeah.
237
00:10:47,668 --> 00:10:49,087
Is it time for dinner?
238
00:10:49,170 --> 00:10:50,380
[applause]
239
00:10:50,463 --> 00:10:53,508
We are so very touched
that you all made the trek out here.
240
00:10:53,591 --> 00:10:57,678
You know, we really wanted to pick a place
that was convenient for none of you.
241
00:10:57,762 --> 00:10:59,347
[all laughing]
242
00:10:59,430 --> 00:11:00,932
You know what,
I talk too much at the law firm.
243
00:11:01,015 --> 00:11:05,019
So I am going to hand it over
to the man of the hour,
244
00:11:05,103 --> 00:11:07,438
the guy who made
this whole weekend happen,
245
00:11:08,147 --> 00:11:09,649
my lovely Tom.
246
00:11:09,732 --> 00:11:12,360
[cheering and applauding]
247
00:11:14,112 --> 00:11:15,321
Thank you.
248
00:11:15,696 --> 00:11:17,323
-[man] Do it!
-[woman 1] You go, girl!
249
00:11:17,407 --> 00:11:18,408
[Tom] Uh...
250
00:11:18,491 --> 00:11:20,076
-[woman 2] Yeah!
-[whispers] You got this.
251
00:11:20,952 --> 00:11:21,953
-Right?
-[laughter]
252
00:11:22,036 --> 00:11:23,037
I can just wing this, right?
253
00:11:23,121 --> 00:11:26,874
Darcy talked a lot about, uh,
her time in the Peace Corps in Bali,
254
00:11:26,958 --> 00:11:28,501
and I thought, you know,
255
00:11:28,584 --> 00:11:30,128
how cool would it be
if we got married there.
256
00:11:30,211 --> 00:11:34,340
And then, I realized that
Bali was un-Bali-vably expensive.
257
00:11:34,424 --> 00:11:36,592
[scattered laughter]
258
00:11:36,676 --> 00:11:38,386
I think the Philippines are better.
259
00:11:38,469 --> 00:11:39,720
-[guests clap]
-Right, Ace?
260
00:11:40,513 --> 00:11:42,390
Ace agrees. Next.
261
00:11:43,433 --> 00:11:45,268
-[woman] Aw!
-[guests exclaim]
262
00:11:45,351 --> 00:11:47,562
I know a lot of you were there
to witness my proposal.
263
00:11:47,645 --> 00:11:49,856
The shock and surprise. Priceless.
264
00:11:50,398 --> 00:11:52,984
Anyway, Mom and Dad,
I just wanna say thank you.
265
00:11:53,067 --> 00:11:55,653
Your commitment is something
that we can only aspire to.
266
00:11:55,736 --> 00:11:57,864
-Oh, my God.
-[Tom] Robert, Renata,
267
00:11:58,865 --> 00:12:01,784
we hope our marriage is
nothing like yours. [laughing]
268
00:12:04,287 --> 00:12:05,663
Pivot, baby. [whispers] Pivot.
269
00:12:05,746 --> 00:12:09,125
I mean, that's not a...
a character judgment, by any means.
270
00:12:09,208 --> 00:12:11,919
I mean, 50% of marriages
end in divorce, right?
271
00:12:12,003 --> 00:12:13,463
-[mic feedback]
-Ha! Wonderful.
272
00:12:13,546 --> 00:12:14,922
[chuckling] Cheers, everybody.
273
00:12:15,006 --> 00:12:16,382
-Cheers, cheers, cheers.
-Cheers.
274
00:12:16,466 --> 00:12:17,633
[Tom clears throat]
275
00:12:17,717 --> 00:12:19,010
[jazz music playing]
276
00:12:19,093 --> 00:12:20,386
Oh, my God. That did not go well.
277
00:12:20,470 --> 00:12:22,180
No, that was awesome.
278
00:12:22,263 --> 00:12:24,182
-[glass clinking]
-[music stops]
279
00:12:24,265 --> 00:12:27,852
So Deedee and I met
in the Peace Corps in Bali.
280
00:12:27,935 --> 00:12:31,606
And one day, we had to run
these medical supplies to this village.
281
00:12:32,023 --> 00:12:34,400
I decided to teach her
how to drive the boat,
282
00:12:34,484 --> 00:12:36,235
so I could sleep
and she could do all the work.
283
00:12:36,319 --> 00:12:37,778
[all laughing]
284
00:12:37,862 --> 00:12:38,946
[Tom chuckles dryly]
285
00:12:39,030 --> 00:12:41,407
The first time our girl
gets behind the wheel,
286
00:12:41,491 --> 00:12:44,452
she gets a damn speeding ticket
from the coast guard.
287
00:12:44,535 --> 00:12:45,703
[all laughing]
288
00:12:45,786 --> 00:12:48,289
Right? Deedee doesn't do
anything half-assed.
289
00:12:48,372 --> 00:12:50,082
She sees what she wants,
290
00:12:50,917 --> 00:12:53,503
she goes after it,
and she doesn't settle for less.
291
00:12:53,586 --> 00:12:54,587
[Tom] It's true, it's true.
292
00:12:54,670 --> 00:12:56,130
[Sean] So, as some of you may know,
293
00:12:56,214 --> 00:12:59,509
Deedee and I were,
100 years ago, were engaged.
294
00:13:00,426 --> 00:13:01,802
But she called it off.
295
00:13:01,886 --> 00:13:03,638
[guests exclaim sadly]
296
00:13:03,721 --> 00:13:05,598
No. No, no, no, no.
297
00:13:05,681 --> 00:13:07,183
She was waiting for Tom.
298
00:13:08,226 --> 00:13:12,813
And that guy right there
has gotta be a one-in-a-million supernova
299
00:13:12,897 --> 00:13:14,649
to snag that beautiful soul.
300
00:13:14,732 --> 00:13:16,150
-Thanks.
-[all applauding]
301
00:13:16,234 --> 00:13:18,945
-Thanks, Sean.
-So, in conclusion,
302
00:13:19,028 --> 00:13:20,947
I just wanna say one thing to you, Deedee.
303
00:13:22,031 --> 00:13:23,324
Katuk kak ci.
304
00:13:23,407 --> 00:13:24,992
[laughing]
305
00:13:25,409 --> 00:13:27,745
[all applauding and cheering]
306
00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:30,706
What's... Katuk kak what?
307
00:13:30,790 --> 00:13:32,792
Oh, God. Um, it's hard to explain.
308
00:13:32,875 --> 00:13:35,127
It actually means, um,
309
00:13:35,211 --> 00:13:37,755
"Fuck your grandpa."
[chuckles] It's just...
310
00:13:37,838 --> 00:13:39,340
Well, that's not that hard to explain.
311
00:13:39,423 --> 00:13:42,218
Yeah, well, I don't know.
Just, in Balinese, it's super offensive.
312
00:13:42,301 --> 00:13:44,595
Yeah, well, it's offensive everywhere, no?
313
00:13:44,679 --> 00:13:47,515
-Yeah. I mean... It just...
-"Fuck your grandpa!"
314
00:13:47,598 --> 00:13:49,600
-It just made us laugh.
-It is funny.
315
00:13:49,684 --> 00:13:51,936
-[glass clinks]
-[woman] Hi, everybody.
316
00:13:52,019 --> 00:13:54,063
I'm Tom's baby sister, Jeannie.
317
00:13:54,146 --> 00:13:55,982
-Yeah, Jeannie!
-Hey, Jeannie!
318
00:13:56,065 --> 00:13:58,526
Wow, Sean's speech, wasn't it somethin'?
319
00:13:58,609 --> 00:14:00,778
[cheering and applauding]
320
00:14:01,612 --> 00:14:03,114
[spray can hissing]
321
00:14:06,617 --> 00:14:07,618
[Darcy] Honey?
322
00:14:09,328 --> 00:14:13,749
Maybe we should just,
you know, call it a night.
323
00:14:14,208 --> 00:14:15,459
[Tom] No, babe, you go ahead.
324
00:14:15,543 --> 00:14:18,754
I gotta finish these centerpieces
and rearrange the seating chart
325
00:14:18,838 --> 00:14:20,965
now that Sean decided to show up.
326
00:14:23,551 --> 00:14:25,177
-[grunts]
-Tom!
327
00:14:26,220 --> 00:14:27,221
Tom!
328
00:14:29,473 --> 00:14:31,183
[whispers] Let's have sex.
329
00:14:34,353 --> 00:14:36,689
Yes. Yes.
330
00:14:36,772 --> 00:14:38,858
Just... Just... Just...
Just gimme... Just...
331
00:14:38,941 --> 00:14:40,943
I just have to finish
these pineapples real quick.
332
00:14:43,195 --> 00:14:44,572
Okay. Um...
333
00:14:45,239 --> 00:14:52,204
But do you really have to finish
pineapples right now?
334
00:14:56,667 --> 00:14:59,754
Oh, my God. I love you
in a T-shirt and no pants.
335
00:14:59,837 --> 00:15:00,838
[inhales sharply]
336
00:15:00,921 --> 00:15:03,257
I'm just gonna reach over here,
337
00:15:03,341 --> 00:15:06,636
this high shelf, so I can get
something to read.
338
00:15:06,719 --> 00:15:10,181
Why is it so sexy
when you can't reach high shelves?
339
00:15:12,892 --> 00:15:15,353
-So, um...
-[grunting softly]
340
00:15:15,436 --> 00:15:16,896
I'm sorry, miss, but it was...
341
00:15:17,688 --> 00:15:18,939
-It's this one here?
-No, no, no.
342
00:15:19,023 --> 00:15:20,149
It's the one over there.
343
00:15:20,232 --> 00:15:21,567
-Sir, please.
-Oh, this one.
344
00:15:21,651 --> 00:15:22,818
-This one.
-Yes.
345
00:15:23,903 --> 00:15:25,279
-That?
-Thank you, sir.
346
00:15:25,363 --> 00:15:27,365
Okay. Glad I could help.
347
00:15:31,827 --> 00:15:33,663
[Darcy giggling]
348
00:15:41,879 --> 00:15:43,214
I miss you.
349
00:15:45,216 --> 00:15:46,717
It's been a while, huh?
350
00:15:47,468 --> 00:15:48,678
I know.
351
00:15:49,679 --> 00:15:50,888
I miss you.
352
00:15:57,603 --> 00:15:58,854
[Tom moans]
353
00:16:00,481 --> 00:16:01,816
Could I ask you a question?
354
00:16:02,358 --> 00:16:03,901
Is it a sexy question?
355
00:16:05,361 --> 00:16:06,362
Um...
356
00:16:06,862 --> 00:16:10,408
Just wondering why you called off
the engagement with Sean again.
357
00:16:11,784 --> 00:16:14,203
That is so not sexy. [chuckles]
358
00:16:15,162 --> 00:16:16,706
I... I told you this.
359
00:16:17,248 --> 00:16:18,708
We were young, we were in Bali,
360
00:16:18,791 --> 00:16:21,293
and then one day, I woke up
and it just didn't feel right.
361
00:16:22,545 --> 00:16:24,088
-Okay?
-Okay.
362
00:16:26,799 --> 00:16:28,634
[Tom moaning]
363
00:16:29,218 --> 00:16:31,220
But you said yes.
364
00:16:32,221 --> 00:16:34,098
You know, what changed your mind?
365
00:16:34,181 --> 00:16:35,808
[Darcy sighs]
366
00:16:35,891 --> 00:16:37,601
[chuckling] I don't know.
367
00:16:38,561 --> 00:16:41,105
Uh, he... he started working with my dad,
368
00:16:41,188 --> 00:16:45,693
he changed, and all he cared about
was status and money.
369
00:16:45,776 --> 00:16:47,945
[chuckles] Anyway, why do you want
to talk about my ex
370
00:16:48,028 --> 00:16:49,655
the night before our wedding?
371
00:16:50,322 --> 00:16:52,908
I don't know. Maybe because
you invited him to our wedding?
372
00:16:52,992 --> 00:16:54,493
Remember, I didn't.
373
00:16:54,577 --> 00:16:57,621
My dad asked me to invite him.
What was I supposed to say?
374
00:16:57,705 --> 00:16:59,039
I don't know. Uh, no?
375
00:16:59,123 --> 00:17:01,459
If you remember correctly,
I didn't wanna invite anyone.
376
00:17:01,542 --> 00:17:03,961
-I wanted to elope.
-[sighs]
377
00:17:04,044 --> 00:17:06,922
The only reason I agreed
to a traditional wedding
378
00:17:07,006 --> 00:17:09,925
was because you said that
we'd have moments alone.
379
00:17:10,009 --> 00:17:11,010
[knock on door]
380
00:17:11,093 --> 00:17:13,220
Hey, hello. It's Carol.
381
00:17:14,346 --> 00:17:16,766
Hi. Hello.
382
00:17:17,308 --> 00:17:19,143
Your future mother-in-law, Carol.
383
00:17:19,226 --> 00:17:21,353
[chuckles] Yep, I know your name, Carol.
384
00:17:21,437 --> 00:17:24,482
I brought some of the extras
for the welcome bags
385
00:17:24,565 --> 00:17:26,859
in case you want to make one for Sean.
386
00:17:26,942 --> 00:17:28,360
[Tom] Oh! Oh.
387
00:17:28,694 --> 00:17:29,904
Great. Thanks.
388
00:17:30,613 --> 00:17:31,864
All right, thanks.
389
00:17:31,947 --> 00:17:34,533
Tommy, she's not wearing any pants.
390
00:17:35,493 --> 00:17:37,203
-[gifts clatter]
-I just want to ask,
391
00:17:37,286 --> 00:17:39,121
and... and I hope it's okay.
392
00:17:39,205 --> 00:17:40,664
Is that genetics,
393
00:17:41,749 --> 00:17:44,293
or is it, like, Pilates or something?
394
00:17:44,376 --> 00:17:45,461
Mom, now is not the time for this.
395
00:17:45,544 --> 00:17:47,963
[Carol] Yes, all right. But, you know,
we need to get you outta here.
396
00:17:48,047 --> 00:17:50,841
It's the night before your wedding,
and you can't spend the night together.
397
00:17:50,925 --> 00:17:52,968
-No, Ma, it's just...
-You can't. It's bad luck.
398
00:17:53,052 --> 00:17:55,888
You know, his cousin, Jenna,
she spent the night with her husband.
399
00:17:55,971 --> 00:18:00,059
Lo and behold, she got Lyme disease,
and now she can't wear sandals.
400
00:18:02,228 --> 00:18:03,729
It's a tradition.
401
00:18:06,315 --> 00:18:07,942
[snoring softly]
402
00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:18,244
[upbeat music playing]
403
00:18:32,174 --> 00:18:33,968
[indistinct chatter and laughter]
404
00:18:46,856 --> 00:18:48,774
[bird squawking]
405
00:18:48,858 --> 00:18:51,068
[suspenseful music playing]
406
00:19:05,958 --> 00:19:08,961
[pirate leader] Oh.
Look at the happy couple.
407
00:19:09,712 --> 00:19:11,338
[man laughs wickedly]
408
00:19:14,300 --> 00:19:15,676
Where have you been?
409
00:19:16,510 --> 00:19:17,928
You were supposed to do my hair.
410
00:19:18,387 --> 00:19:20,306
Now birds are gonna lay eggs in it.
411
00:19:20,389 --> 00:19:22,266
I know. I overslept. I'm sorry.
412
00:19:22,349 --> 00:19:23,601
[chuckles dryly]
413
00:19:23,684 --> 00:19:25,603
Kind of, sort of,
slept with Ricky last night.
414
00:19:26,437 --> 00:19:28,314
-Ricky?
-Yes. I'm sorry.
415
00:19:28,397 --> 00:19:30,858
I just, I was in the mood for something,
you know, that wasn't quite right.
416
00:19:30,941 --> 00:19:32,860
Like ordering a hamburger
at a sushi bar or something.
417
00:19:33,611 --> 00:19:35,154
I'm just gonna avoid him today. It's fine.
418
00:19:35,237 --> 00:19:36,697
He's Tom's best man.
419
00:19:36,780 --> 00:19:38,616
You two have to walk down
the aisle together.
420
00:19:39,450 --> 00:19:42,077
I am very good at ignoring people
that I'm standing next to.
421
00:19:42,161 --> 00:19:43,621
-No kidding.
-Ready?
422
00:19:43,704 --> 00:19:45,915
I can't believe you agreed
to wear Carol's wedding dress.
423
00:19:46,457 --> 00:19:47,541
-[splutters]
-Okay.
424
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,502
-[Jamie blowing]
-Okay, okay.
425
00:19:50,586 --> 00:19:52,588
You look beautiful, no matter what.
426
00:19:54,590 --> 00:19:55,633
She's ready!
427
00:19:55,716 --> 00:19:56,675
[Jeannie] Hey, should we all do
428
00:19:56,759 --> 00:19:57,927
-a round of tequila shots?
-[sighs]
429
00:19:58,010 --> 00:20:01,513
[Carol] Well, I Scotchgarded the dress,
so try not to inhale the chemicals.
430
00:20:01,597 --> 00:20:03,432
[Jamie] Where's the veil?
Where's the veil?
431
00:20:03,515 --> 00:20:04,767
[huffs] Okay.
432
00:20:04,850 --> 00:20:06,060
[Jamie] Well, yes, tequila.
433
00:20:06,143 --> 00:20:07,603
[Jeannie] Unless we get the bottle,
I'm not set.
434
00:20:07,686 --> 00:20:08,854
[Jamie] No, no tequila.
435
00:20:08,938 --> 00:20:10,189
Oh!
436
00:20:10,272 --> 00:20:12,691
The prettiest of them all.
437
00:20:12,775 --> 00:20:15,152
You look so much better
than the rest of us.
438
00:20:15,653 --> 00:20:17,988
This dress is just wonderful.
439
00:20:18,072 --> 00:20:19,573
I wore it for my wedding,
440
00:20:19,657 --> 00:20:23,827
Jeannie wore it for hers,
and now you're gonna wear it for yours.
441
00:20:23,911 --> 00:20:25,204
Oh, my gosh.
442
00:20:25,746 --> 00:20:27,247
Look at you.
443
00:20:28,540 --> 00:20:31,043
Oh, it's white coral made out of tissue.
444
00:20:31,126 --> 00:20:32,127
Um...
445
00:20:33,420 --> 00:20:36,340
Something doesn't, you know, feel right.
446
00:20:36,423 --> 00:20:37,925
[Carol] Do you think
if we blew-dried the veil,
447
00:20:38,008 --> 00:20:39,385
-it would be more fluffy?
-Okay, so what I'm seeing is,
448
00:20:39,468 --> 00:20:40,552
I think that the left boob
is actually slightly lower
449
00:20:40,636 --> 00:20:42,054
-than the right boob.
-Like floof, floof, like that?
450
00:20:42,137 --> 00:20:45,641
Hey, something kinda magical
happened with me last night.
451
00:20:45,724 --> 00:20:47,309
-Theoretically speaking...
-[cell phone chiming]
452
00:20:47,393 --> 00:20:49,520
...would it be weird or wonderful
453
00:20:49,603 --> 00:20:51,480
-if we married sisters?
-[cell phone vibrates]
454
00:20:51,563 --> 00:20:52,815
Yeah, sure.
455
00:20:57,236 --> 00:20:59,071
[Ricky] Hey, psst, Larry.
Tom's being boring.
456
00:20:59,154 --> 00:21:00,656
Come film me doing a backflip!
457
00:21:00,739 --> 00:21:02,282
[Larry] Oh, I...
I don't think I should walk.
458
00:21:02,366 --> 00:21:03,409
[Ricky] All right.
459
00:21:05,035 --> 00:21:06,745
[guests chattering]
460
00:21:13,961 --> 00:21:15,921
[suspenseful music playing]
461
00:21:27,474 --> 00:21:28,600
It's time.
462
00:21:41,864 --> 00:21:42,906
Wow!
463
00:21:43,824 --> 00:21:45,492
[sighs] Look at you.
464
00:21:46,118 --> 00:21:48,078
[soft music playing]
465
00:21:53,834 --> 00:21:55,002
Okay.
466
00:21:56,003 --> 00:21:57,212
You wanted to talk.
467
00:21:58,297 --> 00:22:00,591
I know it's last minute.
468
00:22:01,884 --> 00:22:03,052
I just...
469
00:22:05,345 --> 00:22:07,723
I hated the way things ended
last night, and...
470
00:22:08,432 --> 00:22:11,435
And I didn't want our wedding day
to start off on a bad note.
471
00:22:13,937 --> 00:22:15,147
Oh, my God.
472
00:22:16,648 --> 00:22:17,858
[sighs in relief]
473
00:22:17,941 --> 00:22:19,777
God, I thought you were calling it off.
474
00:22:19,860 --> 00:22:21,361
[Tom chuckling]
475
00:22:21,445 --> 00:22:23,363
Calling off the wedding? [scoffs]
476
00:22:23,447 --> 00:22:24,615
-Why?
-Uh, I don't know.
477
00:22:24,698 --> 00:22:27,659
I mean, this weekend
hasn't exactly gone to plan.
478
00:22:27,743 --> 00:22:30,537
You and I have been arguing more
in the last few months than we did
479
00:22:30,621 --> 00:22:32,206
our first four years together.
480
00:22:32,289 --> 00:22:34,166
[inhales deeply] I don't know.
I guess I thought
481
00:22:34,249 --> 00:22:35,876
weddings were supposed to be fun.
482
00:22:37,086 --> 00:22:38,545
Oh. Okay.
483
00:22:38,629 --> 00:22:41,340
Well, I'm sorry I didn't make
your wedding more fun for you.
484
00:22:41,423 --> 00:22:43,509
Well, no. That's...
Darcy, that's not what...
485
00:22:45,594 --> 00:22:47,429
And it's not my wedding. It's our wedding.
486
00:22:48,388 --> 00:22:49,389
Hardly.
487
00:22:50,265 --> 00:22:51,433
[sighs] Yeah, Tom.
488
00:22:52,017 --> 00:22:54,853
You got so fixated
on the wedding that you...
489
00:22:54,937 --> 00:22:56,563
you turned into a different person.
490
00:22:56,647 --> 00:22:58,649
I'm sorry. I just wanted
everything to be perfect.
491
00:22:59,441 --> 00:23:00,984
Why is that so important to you?
492
00:23:01,068 --> 00:23:02,611
Why isn't it important to you?
493
00:23:02,694 --> 00:23:04,029
It's like you don't even care
about the wedding.
494
00:23:04,613 --> 00:23:06,573
Well, I... Of course I care.
495
00:23:06,657 --> 00:23:07,783
Oh, yeah?
496
00:23:07,866 --> 00:23:10,035
You're the one that insisted
that we pay for this wedding.
497
00:23:10,661 --> 00:23:11,787
Yet I'm the one that's bargaining
498
00:23:11,870 --> 00:23:13,997
with all the vendors
and DIY-ing everything,
499
00:23:14,081 --> 00:23:16,708
and all you're saying is,
"I don't know. It looks good,"
500
00:23:16,792 --> 00:23:18,752
you know, "Sounds good, Tom.
Whatever you want."
501
00:23:18,836 --> 00:23:22,297
I told you that I did not want
a big traditional wedding.
502
00:23:22,381 --> 00:23:25,717
Okay? I'm not some blushing bride.
I'm a grown woman.
503
00:23:25,801 --> 00:23:28,053
I don't want my daddy
walking me down the aisle.
504
00:23:28,137 --> 00:23:30,139
I don't need a big princess dress,
505
00:23:30,222 --> 00:23:33,392
and I certainly don't need
a wedding registry.
506
00:23:33,475 --> 00:23:36,103
I have my things already.
I like my things.
507
00:23:36,186 --> 00:23:37,813
I wanted a Roomba.
508
00:23:37,896 --> 00:23:39,857
[guests murmuring]
509
00:23:41,567 --> 00:23:42,860
Well, she's not up in the lobby.
510
00:23:42,943 --> 00:23:44,236
I can't get through on my phone.
511
00:23:44,319 --> 00:23:46,738
Oh, my God. They've fallen in a ditch.
512
00:23:46,822 --> 00:23:48,949
What? And how do you know that?
513
00:23:49,032 --> 00:23:50,033
[Carol] I don't know.
514
00:23:50,117 --> 00:23:52,369
I just have a sixth sense
about these things.
515
00:23:52,452 --> 00:23:53,704
Ace and I will take a look around.
516
00:23:53,787 --> 00:23:55,664
Don't worry. We will find them.
517
00:23:55,747 --> 00:23:57,082
[Carol breathing heavily]
518
00:23:57,166 --> 00:23:59,168
-[screams] Check all ditches!
-[Larry] God.
519
00:24:01,128 --> 00:24:05,257
I wanted it to just be you and me
in the middle of the ocean.
520
00:24:05,340 --> 00:24:07,843
And for the 400th time,
that would've killed my mother.
521
00:24:07,926 --> 00:24:09,553
Ugh. Right.
522
00:24:09,636 --> 00:24:11,221
And that's why I'm in your mother's dress
523
00:24:11,305 --> 00:24:13,891
with an extra 10 pounds of hair
on my head.
524
00:24:14,725 --> 00:24:18,896
But the truth is, you have not listened
to one thing I wanted since you proposed.
525
00:24:19,605 --> 00:24:22,608
Okay, well, Darcy, I'm listening.
Enlighten me.
526
00:24:22,691 --> 00:24:25,110
What is it? What is it that you want?
527
00:24:25,527 --> 00:24:28,906
Tom, we've... We talked about this.
528
00:24:28,989 --> 00:24:33,368
I told you on our very first date,
I didn't want a big wedding.
529
00:24:33,452 --> 00:24:34,494
Well, I thought you changed
530
00:24:34,578 --> 00:24:36,038
-your mind about that.
-[sighs]
531
00:24:36,538 --> 00:24:38,373
Why did you even agree to do it then?
532
00:24:40,125 --> 00:24:42,920
Oh, I... I don't... I don't know!
533
00:24:43,003 --> 00:24:44,630
Okay? Because...
534
00:24:45,631 --> 00:24:48,467
Because I love you. Because I... I w...
535
00:24:48,550 --> 00:24:50,594
I wanted you to be happy.
536
00:24:51,053 --> 00:24:52,804
[pirate leader] Go! Come on, move!
537
00:24:52,888 --> 00:24:54,973
Everybody, move! Come on!
538
00:24:55,057 --> 00:24:56,600
-[people screaming]
-Move along.
539
00:24:56,683 --> 00:24:59,228
Go outside, go outside right now.
Come on. Come on.
540
00:25:00,437 --> 00:25:02,064
If you don't wanna go through with this,
541
00:25:02,981 --> 00:25:04,233
it's not too late.
542
00:25:04,858 --> 00:25:05,859
What?
543
00:25:08,445 --> 00:25:14,368
No. We brought everybody that we loved
down to the Philippines for our wedding.
544
00:25:14,451 --> 00:25:16,453
I'm in this dress! We're doin' this!
545
00:25:16,536 --> 00:25:18,538
Oh, that was beautiful.
Are those your vows?
546
00:25:21,458 --> 00:25:22,501
Oh, my God.
547
00:25:23,919 --> 00:25:26,338
You convinced yourself
that I wanted to call off the wedding,
548
00:25:26,421 --> 00:25:27,673
and now you're making it happen.
549
00:25:27,756 --> 00:25:30,425
Oh, there you go. Lawyering yourself
out of any real responsibility.
550
00:25:30,509 --> 00:25:31,551
[Darcy gasps]
551
00:25:31,635 --> 00:25:33,428
[intense music playing]
552
00:25:35,389 --> 00:25:37,516
[groans] You cut me with your ring!
553
00:25:40,269 --> 00:25:42,396
-Won't happen again.
-[grunts]
554
00:25:47,651 --> 00:25:49,736
[intense music resumes]
555
00:25:49,820 --> 00:25:50,946
Great!
556
00:25:51,697 --> 00:25:53,282
[shouting] Why don't you go be with Sean?
557
00:25:53,782 --> 00:25:56,243
Maybe you guys could go bang
some grandpas!
558
00:25:56,326 --> 00:25:58,787
[intense music continues]
559
00:26:05,794 --> 00:26:08,380
I don't know why.
I have a bad feeling about this.
560
00:26:08,463 --> 00:26:09,965
[Larry] It's gonna be fine, honey.
561
00:26:10,048 --> 00:26:11,174
-[screams]
-[all gasp]
562
00:26:11,258 --> 00:26:12,843
I think you might be overreacting.
563
00:26:12,926 --> 00:26:14,386
[screams]
564
00:26:14,469 --> 00:26:16,263
-[guests screaming]
-[indistinct shouting]
565
00:26:16,346 --> 00:26:19,433
[pirate leader] Hold still!
Get down, get down, get down!
566
00:26:19,516 --> 00:26:20,600
[all screaming]
567
00:26:23,186 --> 00:26:24,563
[whimpers]
568
00:26:25,314 --> 00:26:26,523
-[pirate 1] No running!
-[gunshot]
569
00:26:26,606 --> 00:26:28,567
-[pirate leader] Everyone!
-[pirate 1] Get down.
570
00:26:29,151 --> 00:26:31,778
[pirate leader] To the pool! Now!
571
00:26:31,862 --> 00:26:33,155
First rows, go!
572
00:26:33,238 --> 00:26:34,573
-Go, go, go!
-[Carol exclaims]
573
00:26:34,656 --> 00:26:36,783
[pirate 1] Everyone, this way! This way!
574
00:26:36,867 --> 00:26:39,661
Come on! Come on! One line! Let's go!
575
00:26:42,122 --> 00:26:43,915
-[gunshots]
-[indistinct shouting]
576
00:26:48,545 --> 00:26:49,546
[grunts]
577
00:26:53,008 --> 00:26:54,426
[frightened clamoring]
578
00:26:54,509 --> 00:26:55,802
Let's go!
579
00:26:57,679 --> 00:26:58,972
Darcy.
580
00:27:01,767 --> 00:27:03,894
-[pirate leader] Guys, go!
-[pirate 1] Go, go, up there.
581
00:27:03,977 --> 00:27:06,313
[pirate leader] Up there!
Up there! Go! Go to the end.
582
00:27:06,396 --> 00:27:08,065
-Go, go!
-Everybody, walk!
583
00:27:08,148 --> 00:27:10,442
-[pirate leader] Keep going.
-[pirate 1] Let's go.
584
00:27:10,525 --> 00:27:11,693
[pirate leader] Go!
585
00:27:11,777 --> 00:27:12,986
[guests screaming]
586
00:27:13,070 --> 00:27:14,529
[pirate leader] Keep moving! There you go.
587
00:27:14,613 --> 00:27:16,114
[pirate 2] Turn. Turn. Go!
588
00:27:16,198 --> 00:27:17,407
-[pirate leader] Line up.
-[pirate 2] Keep moving.
589
00:27:17,491 --> 00:27:18,617
Line up, go!
590
00:27:18,700 --> 00:27:19,785
-[pirate leader] Now!
-[Carol] No.
591
00:27:19,868 --> 00:27:21,912
[pirate leader] And into the pool.
592
00:27:21,995 --> 00:27:23,372
Now. Go!
593
00:27:23,455 --> 00:27:26,458
Go in. Faster, faster, faster.
594
00:27:26,541 --> 00:27:28,585
-[pirate 2] Get in the water.
-[pirate leader] Let's go faster.
595
00:27:28,668 --> 00:27:31,338
-[pirate 2] Drop the phone.
-But my phone will get ruined.
596
00:27:31,421 --> 00:27:32,672
I think that's the point, sweetie.
Just drop it.
597
00:27:32,756 --> 00:27:33,882
Yeah, but I haven't
backed it up in a while.
598
00:27:33,965 --> 00:27:35,550
-[Renata] Drop it!
-Okay. Okay.
599
00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:38,512
[pirate leader] No need to be scared.
600
00:27:38,595 --> 00:27:42,015
As long as everybody follows directions,
no one gets hurt.
601
00:27:42,891 --> 00:27:45,018
Raise your hand when you hear your name.
602
00:27:46,269 --> 00:27:47,479
Robert Rivera.
603
00:27:54,152 --> 00:27:56,363
Robert! Robert.
604
00:27:57,155 --> 00:27:58,448
They're calling you.
605
00:27:59,908 --> 00:28:01,284
Thanks a lot, Carol.
606
00:28:05,163 --> 00:28:07,332
-[pirate leader] Larry Fowler.
-Present.
607
00:28:10,377 --> 00:28:11,962
I... I'm Carol, his wife.
608
00:28:12,045 --> 00:28:13,547
Just so you don't have to make two trips.
609
00:28:14,589 --> 00:28:16,716
Wait, wait. I'd like it in the center.
610
00:28:19,302 --> 00:28:21,471
Sean Hawkins.
611
00:28:22,055 --> 00:28:25,434
If you hurt anyone in this pool,
you're gonna have to answer to me.
612
00:28:26,101 --> 00:28:29,062
[pirate leader]
Is this the hero of the group?
613
00:28:29,146 --> 00:28:30,730
[all] Yes.
614
00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:33,150
No. Oh, my God.
615
00:28:33,233 --> 00:28:34,526
[women whimper]
616
00:28:35,277 --> 00:28:36,987
There is always one.
617
00:28:38,655 --> 00:28:39,656
All right.
618
00:28:50,834 --> 00:28:52,586
[pirate leader] Where is bride and groom?
619
00:28:53,170 --> 00:28:55,589
[pirate 1] She's there.
Isn't she the bride?
620
00:28:55,672 --> 00:28:56,673
Oh. No.
621
00:28:56,756 --> 00:29:01,052
Amanda thought it was appropriate
to wear white to a wedding.
622
00:29:01,136 --> 00:29:02,471
I didn't know that was a rule.
623
00:29:02,554 --> 00:29:03,889
Yes, you did.
624
00:29:03,972 --> 00:29:05,891
-You're a gaslighter.
-[Jeannie] Yeah.
625
00:29:05,974 --> 00:29:07,559
You see, this is a problem.
626
00:29:08,310 --> 00:29:10,395
They could call police.
And if police come,
627
00:29:11,354 --> 00:29:12,564
we kill everyone.
628
00:29:12,647 --> 00:29:14,149
-[guests gasping]
-[woman] Oh, my God.
629
00:29:14,232 --> 00:29:17,319
Okay, um, I... I saw Tom headed towards
the nature walk before the ceremony,
630
00:29:17,402 --> 00:29:20,572
and I noticed that his frequency levels
were dangerously low.
631
00:29:20,655 --> 00:29:22,240
I think he's getting cold feet.
632
00:29:22,324 --> 00:29:23,617
Tommy has cold feet?
633
00:29:23,700 --> 00:29:26,244
Is this really what we should be
worrying about at this point?
634
00:29:26,328 --> 00:29:29,539
I'm a mother. I can worry
about a lot of things at the same time.
635
00:29:30,290 --> 00:29:31,541
Like Larry's mole.
636
00:29:31,625 --> 00:29:32,834
[Larry] Oh, it's fine, sweetie.
637
00:29:32,918 --> 00:29:34,461
-[Carol] It's getting bigger.
-[pirate leader] Spread out.
638
00:29:34,544 --> 00:29:36,505
-[guns cocking]
-Look for them.
639
00:29:42,135 --> 00:29:44,721
Hey, uh, I... I...
I texted you this morning
640
00:29:44,804 --> 00:29:46,473
and I didn't hear anything back.
641
00:29:47,891 --> 00:29:49,434
Are you being serious right now?
642
00:29:49,976 --> 00:29:51,645
No. No.
643
00:29:51,728 --> 00:29:53,396
[panting]
644
00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:54,606
[Darcy screams]
645
00:29:54,689 --> 00:29:57,067
[gasps] Darcy!
646
00:29:57,150 --> 00:30:00,111
-[Darcy grunting]
-[Tom] Darcy! Hey!
647
00:30:01,655 --> 00:30:03,532
-[groans]
-No, no, no, no. Darcy.
648
00:30:03,615 --> 00:30:06,076
-Darcy, I'm coming in.
-Fuck off, Tom!
649
00:30:06,159 --> 00:30:07,285
Oh, thank God.
650
00:30:07,744 --> 00:30:10,872
Listen, I know you're mad at me right now,
but you have to let me in.
651
00:30:11,206 --> 00:30:13,250
Why would I be mad? I'm awesome.
652
00:30:13,333 --> 00:30:15,502
I'm on a tropical island,
I'm having a liquid brunch,
653
00:30:15,585 --> 00:30:17,712
and I don't have to answer to anybody!
654
00:30:18,171 --> 00:30:20,131
[indistinct radio chatter]
655
00:30:20,215 --> 00:30:23,134
[gasps] Oh, my God, this is not happening.
656
00:30:23,552 --> 00:30:25,554
Oh, it is happening, buddy.
657
00:30:25,637 --> 00:30:29,224
Okay? And once I get this hair condo
off my head,
658
00:30:29,307 --> 00:30:32,644
I'm gonna march down to that beach
and tell everybody how you blew this up!
659
00:30:32,727 --> 00:30:33,853
Shh... shh!
660
00:30:33,937 --> 00:30:36,106
Are you seriously shushing me right now?
661
00:30:37,148 --> 00:30:38,316
What the fuck?
662
00:30:38,692 --> 00:30:39,693
[Tom grunts]
663
00:30:42,696 --> 00:30:43,697
Is that blood?
664
00:30:44,030 --> 00:30:46,074
There's no time
for a blood freak-out right now.
665
00:30:46,157 --> 00:30:48,076
-Don't tell me...
-[shushes]
666
00:30:48,159 --> 00:30:50,870
-[muffled groaning]
-There are pirates outside,
667
00:30:50,954 --> 00:30:52,622
and they took everybody hostage.
668
00:30:52,706 --> 00:30:53,707
[muffled] What?
669
00:30:55,166 --> 00:30:56,585
[indistinct radio chatter]
670
00:31:06,136 --> 00:31:07,637
-[gunshots]
-[gasps]
671
00:31:08,805 --> 00:31:09,806
[grunts]
672
00:31:10,515 --> 00:31:13,476
-We have to get help.
-[Tom] No, no. No. No.
673
00:31:14,853 --> 00:31:16,980
-The phone is dead.
-Oh, the Wi-Fi too.
674
00:31:17,063 --> 00:31:19,232
Marge said the cell service
is better on the north side.
675
00:31:19,316 --> 00:31:21,151
Why did you pick an island
with no cell service?
676
00:31:21,234 --> 00:31:23,028
Because I wanted people to be present
and in the moment.
677
00:31:23,111 --> 00:31:24,904
-[gunshot]
-[gasps] Jeez!
678
00:31:25,655 --> 00:31:28,450
I can't breathe. [gasps] I can't breathe!
679
00:31:28,533 --> 00:31:29,409
I know. Me neither.
680
00:31:29,492 --> 00:31:32,287
No. I... I really can't breathe.
It's the shapewear.
681
00:31:32,370 --> 00:31:33,788
Please help me get out of this dress now.
682
00:31:35,206 --> 00:31:36,374
Now!
683
00:31:36,458 --> 00:31:37,584
Would you relax?
684
00:31:37,667 --> 00:31:39,127
[whispers] What did you just say to me?
685
00:31:39,210 --> 00:31:40,462
I said everything's gonna be okay.
686
00:31:40,545 --> 00:31:41,963
Dress is like a riddle.
687
00:31:42,047 --> 00:31:43,506
-[gunshots]
-Oh!
688
00:31:43,590 --> 00:31:45,592
God, I'm gonna die in this dress!
689
00:31:47,010 --> 00:31:49,012
Oh, door latches from the inside.
690
00:31:49,095 --> 00:31:51,139
He's gonna know we're in here. [grunting]
691
00:31:51,222 --> 00:31:54,976
He's also gonna know we're in here
when he comes in here and we're in here.
692
00:31:55,060 --> 00:31:56,394
He'll think we're in the shower.
693
00:31:56,478 --> 00:31:57,979
What... What?
694
00:31:58,063 --> 00:32:00,523
And come back at a better time?
Leave a note?
695
00:32:00,607 --> 00:32:02,400
-[shower running]
-All right.
696
00:32:02,484 --> 00:32:04,903
Okay, h... here's the plan. He comes in,
he's gonna think we're in the shower,
697
00:32:04,986 --> 00:32:06,613
then I jump out and I trap him in the net.
698
00:32:06,696 --> 00:32:08,114
Oh, my God, that's an amazing plan.
699
00:32:08,198 --> 00:32:09,240
-Yes!
-No!
700
00:32:09,324 --> 00:32:10,575
You're gonna throw a net over a pirate?
701
00:32:10,659 --> 00:32:11,826
Have you ever tried to get out of a net?
702
00:32:11,910 --> 00:32:13,161
It's very hard to get out of a net.
703
00:32:13,244 --> 00:32:14,871
Okay. How about...
704
00:32:14,954 --> 00:32:16,998
How about this? I spray him in the eyes.
705
00:32:17,082 --> 00:32:19,751
How is hairspray in the eyes
better than a net over his head?
706
00:32:19,834 --> 00:32:21,961
Wait! Yes, that's actually...
707
00:32:22,045 --> 00:32:24,130
That's actually... You spray that.
708
00:32:24,214 --> 00:32:26,091
I'll light the match.
It'll be like a flamethrower.
709
00:32:26,174 --> 00:32:27,425
-I mean, it won't work!
-Why?
710
00:32:27,509 --> 00:32:29,052
-Too many steps.
-It's two steps.
711
00:32:29,135 --> 00:32:31,805
It's two steps. Flamethrower, net.
712
00:32:31,888 --> 00:32:35,100
I pop out and I put the net over his head.
I'll surprise him.
713
00:32:35,183 --> 00:32:37,310
No, Tom, because bullets
shoot through nets!
714
00:32:37,394 --> 00:32:39,062
-Technically, yeah.
-Technically?
715
00:32:39,145 --> 00:32:40,605
Technically, he won't be able
to shoot straight
716
00:32:40,689 --> 00:32:42,982
because he'll be all fuckin'
wrapped up in the net.
717
00:32:43,066 --> 00:32:45,485
I swear to God, if you say "net"
one more time...
718
00:32:45,568 --> 00:32:46,903
-[gunshots]
-[gasps]
719
00:32:48,446 --> 00:32:50,532
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
720
00:32:52,325 --> 00:32:53,410
[gunshot]
721
00:32:57,831 --> 00:32:59,749
[whispering] Psst. Flamethrower.
722
00:33:03,878 --> 00:33:05,714
[suspenseful music playing]
723
00:33:09,008 --> 00:33:10,677
[shower running]
724
00:33:15,682 --> 00:33:17,142
[whispering] I'm gonna fuck him up.
725
00:33:17,225 --> 00:33:18,351
I'm gonna fuck him up.
726
00:33:18,435 --> 00:33:19,936
[mouthing]
727
00:33:35,994 --> 00:33:37,203
[turns off shower]
728
00:33:37,287 --> 00:33:38,788
[screaming]
729
00:33:39,956 --> 00:33:42,041
[all screaming]
730
00:33:44,627 --> 00:33:45,920
[Darcy] Fuck!
731
00:33:46,004 --> 00:33:47,297
[pirate 2 panting]
732
00:33:48,506 --> 00:33:49,632
-[grunts]
-[pirate 2] Ow!
733
00:33:49,716 --> 00:33:51,384
-Never mind! Never mind.
-Why did you do that?
734
00:33:51,468 --> 00:33:54,137
-Never mind!
-[both scream and grunt]
735
00:33:56,347 --> 00:33:59,559
-[groaning] You were right.
-[panting]
736
00:33:59,642 --> 00:34:01,644
That hairspray was
so much worse than the net.
737
00:34:02,812 --> 00:34:03,813
[Tom grunts]
738
00:34:05,690 --> 00:34:06,983
-[Darcy] Ow!
-[pirate 2] Get up.
739
00:34:07,066 --> 00:34:08,109
[Darcy] Okay.
740
00:34:08,777 --> 00:34:10,487
[both grunt]
741
00:34:11,529 --> 00:34:13,072
-[Tom] Come on.
-[Darcy] Don't strangle me.
742
00:34:13,156 --> 00:34:15,283
-[Tom] Turn your arm.
-[pirate 2] I have them alive.
743
00:34:15,366 --> 00:34:16,493
Wait, wait. What?
744
00:34:16,576 --> 00:34:19,204
[pirate 2 on radio]
Bungalow 15. Pick me up.
745
00:34:20,538 --> 00:34:21,831
[pirate leader] Go collect them.
746
00:34:22,874 --> 00:34:25,043
And then we can begin.
747
00:34:25,627 --> 00:34:27,337
[both grunting]
748
00:34:33,718 --> 00:34:35,011
You doing okay, Jamie?
749
00:34:37,263 --> 00:34:39,516
My stomach feels like
it's gonna fall through my asshole.
750
00:34:39,599 --> 00:34:41,392
But otherwise, I'm chill.
751
00:34:42,268 --> 00:34:44,103
Listen, it's normal to feel scared.
752
00:34:44,187 --> 00:34:45,939
But I'm not gonna let
anything happen to you
753
00:34:46,523 --> 00:34:48,942
or your family. Promise.
754
00:34:50,443 --> 00:34:51,736
[Jeannie] Hey, Sean?
755
00:34:52,278 --> 00:34:53,780
I am also feeling scared.
756
00:34:53,863 --> 00:34:55,782
Like the most scared
I've ever been in my whole life.
757
00:34:55,865 --> 00:34:58,117
It's like I just watched The Ring,
you know?
758
00:34:59,661 --> 00:35:01,913
[Harriett] Robbie, baby, I want you
to practice the breathing exercise
759
00:35:01,996 --> 00:35:04,082
that we learned at Esalen, okay?
760
00:35:04,165 --> 00:35:06,876
I'm gonna hit a pressure point.
Ready? And...
761
00:35:07,377 --> 00:35:08,378
[joints pop]
762
00:35:08,461 --> 00:35:10,421
-Breathe. Breathe.
-[breathing sharply]
763
00:35:11,256 --> 00:35:12,298
From the diaphragm.
764
00:35:12,382 --> 00:35:14,425
-I think I'm gonna throw up now.
-It's okay. You're doing fine.
765
00:35:14,509 --> 00:35:18,304
If he keeps making that noise,
just go ahead and shoot me.
766
00:35:18,388 --> 00:35:19,722
-[Robert pants]
-[laughing]
767
00:35:19,806 --> 00:35:22,058
[pirate leader] The happy couple
will be here in a second.
768
00:35:22,809 --> 00:35:24,394
So let's get to business.
769
00:35:24,477 --> 00:35:26,396
Where is the father of the bride?
770
00:35:29,732 --> 00:35:32,360
Robert. He's calling ya again.
771
00:35:34,445 --> 00:35:37,282
Thanks, Carol. [grunts]
772
00:35:37,699 --> 00:35:38,867
Okay, what do you want?
773
00:35:39,909 --> 00:35:44,289
[pirate leader] Well, we call my colleague
on the satellite phone,
774
00:35:44,372 --> 00:35:47,500
and you transfer $45 million
to a bank account.
775
00:35:47,584 --> 00:35:49,085
[Harriett] What? What?
776
00:35:49,168 --> 00:35:50,670
I don't have that kind of money.
777
00:35:51,087 --> 00:35:55,425
[pirate leader] We googled you.
Net worth is $60 million.
778
00:35:55,508 --> 00:35:58,511
I'm not giving you anything
until I find out if my daughter's safe.
779
00:35:59,554 --> 00:36:01,764
-And your son-in-law.
-Yeah, him too.
780
00:36:02,473 --> 00:36:03,558
Okay.
781
00:36:03,641 --> 00:36:06,269
I can wait two minutes
to take all your money.
782
00:36:07,020 --> 00:36:08,021
This way.
783
00:36:10,148 --> 00:36:12,066
You want some pineapple candies?
784
00:36:12,150 --> 00:36:15,528
They're from that weird welcome bag
we got, but I found them in my pocket.
785
00:36:15,612 --> 00:36:19,115
No, I don't want loose, wet candy
from your gross pockets.
786
00:36:21,659 --> 00:36:22,785
Okay.
787
00:36:23,578 --> 00:36:24,829
Suit yourself.
788
00:36:31,002 --> 00:36:32,295
Okay. Okay, okay, okay, okay.
789
00:36:32,378 --> 00:36:33,379
-I'm starving.
-No.
790
00:36:33,463 --> 00:36:34,672
[Jamie gasps]
791
00:36:36,716 --> 00:36:38,134
-You're an asshole.
-Hmm.
792
00:36:38,217 --> 00:36:40,178
God, I can't believe
that I had sex with you.
793
00:36:40,261 --> 00:36:42,472
Honestly, I was pretty surprised
by that too.
794
00:36:42,764 --> 00:36:45,099
[Darcy] My parents, they got divorced
when I was in high school,
795
00:36:45,183 --> 00:36:47,894
and my first engagement was a disaster.
796
00:36:48,478 --> 00:36:50,855
What about you? Are you dating anyone?
797
00:36:50,939 --> 00:36:52,273
Have you always wanted to be a pirate?
798
00:36:52,357 --> 00:36:54,400
No more talk, lady.
799
00:37:00,239 --> 00:37:01,824
Excuse me, sirs.
800
00:37:01,908 --> 00:37:03,159
Darcy, they're gonna hurt you.
801
00:37:03,242 --> 00:37:05,870
I just can't help but notice
that you guys smell like cigarettes,
802
00:37:05,954 --> 00:37:08,373
and I am loving it.
803
00:37:08,456 --> 00:37:10,875
Is there any way I could bum a cigarette?
804
00:37:10,959 --> 00:37:12,418
I mean, I think it might help with the...
805
00:37:12,502 --> 00:37:14,128
the panic and dread
I'm experiencing right now.
806
00:37:14,212 --> 00:37:15,421
Since when do you smoke cigarettes?
807
00:37:15,505 --> 00:37:16,631
It's...
808
00:37:17,799 --> 00:37:19,634
I just... You don't even
have to untie my hands.
809
00:37:19,717 --> 00:37:22,011
I mean, I... I can smoke with no hands.
810
00:37:22,095 --> 00:37:24,430
You could just put it right in my mouth.
811
00:37:24,514 --> 00:37:25,640
[pirate 2] Give her a cigarette.
812
00:37:25,723 --> 00:37:27,392
-Please.
-Maybe it will shut her up.
813
00:37:27,475 --> 00:37:29,268
[Darcy] Yes, yes, yes, it will shut me up.
814
00:37:31,145 --> 00:37:32,647
Oh, thank you.
815
00:37:34,941 --> 00:37:36,609
You guys are the...
816
00:37:38,194 --> 00:37:39,195
best.
817
00:37:39,278 --> 00:37:40,863
-[searing]
-[pirate 2] What?
818
00:37:40,947 --> 00:37:42,991
-Fire!
-[Darcy screaming]
819
00:37:44,659 --> 00:37:46,077
[Tom] Oh, my God!
820
00:37:46,160 --> 00:37:49,163
-[gasps]
-Oh, my God! Flamethrower!
821
00:37:49,247 --> 00:37:50,373
-[laughing]
-Oh, my...
822
00:37:50,456 --> 00:37:53,251
See, that's why you only have a plan
with one step!
823
00:37:54,961 --> 00:37:56,045
[Tom gasps]
824
00:37:56,129 --> 00:37:57,422
-No!
-Oh, my God!
825
00:37:57,505 --> 00:37:59,674
-Get the brakes!
-I'm trying! I'm trying!
826
00:38:01,009 --> 00:38:02,635
[Darcy screams]
827
00:38:02,719 --> 00:38:04,721
[both grunting]
828
00:38:07,557 --> 00:38:08,725
-[shrieks]
-Cliff!
829
00:38:08,808 --> 00:38:10,143
-Cliff! Cliff!
-[Darcy] I see it!
830
00:38:10,226 --> 00:38:11,561
Get it into park!
831
00:38:11,644 --> 00:38:13,563
[Tom] I'm trying! [grunting]
832
00:38:14,480 --> 00:38:16,149
-[Darcy] Oh, God! Oh, my God!
-[Tom] God!
833
00:38:16,232 --> 00:38:17,608
[grunting]
834
00:38:19,068 --> 00:38:20,236
Oh, slide out!
835
00:38:20,820 --> 00:38:23,364
[both grunting and gasping]
836
00:38:23,448 --> 00:38:25,074
[both laugh]
837
00:38:25,158 --> 00:38:26,826
-[thud]
-[both gasp]
838
00:38:26,909 --> 00:38:29,412
[Darcy] My dress! My dress, Tom!
839
00:38:29,495 --> 00:38:30,788
Tom, don't let go!
840
00:38:30,872 --> 00:38:32,874
-Don't you let go!
-[gasping]
841
00:38:33,207 --> 00:38:35,334
[Darcy] I'm stuck! I'm stuck!
842
00:38:36,085 --> 00:38:37,837
[screaming]
843
00:38:37,920 --> 00:38:39,255
-[Tom strains]
-[dress rips]
844
00:38:39,338 --> 00:38:40,590
[Darcy grunts]
845
00:38:48,056 --> 00:38:49,891
[both panting]
846
00:38:52,060 --> 00:38:53,519
[gunshots]
847
00:38:55,521 --> 00:38:57,315
-Go!
-[whimpering]
848
00:38:57,398 --> 00:38:59,442
Go. Go, go, go. Go, go, go.
849
00:39:00,902 --> 00:39:02,820
-[gunshots continue]
-[Darcy screams]
850
00:39:02,904 --> 00:39:05,031
[Tom panting]
851
00:39:05,114 --> 00:39:07,116
Quick, do something baseball-y.
852
00:39:07,200 --> 00:39:09,243
What? This is nothing like baseball!
853
00:39:10,203 --> 00:39:11,996
-Down! Down, down!
-[Darcy] Fuck!
854
00:39:12,830 --> 00:39:13,831
[gun clicks]
855
00:39:14,123 --> 00:39:16,876
-He's out of ammo.
-Right.
856
00:39:16,959 --> 00:39:18,377
-Run at him!
-What?
857
00:39:19,712 --> 00:39:21,255
-Go. Believe me, just go!
-No, no, no!
858
00:39:21,339 --> 00:39:22,381
[all grunt]
859
00:39:23,257 --> 00:39:24,092
[gasps]
860
00:39:26,052 --> 00:39:27,970
-Grenade!
-He has a grenade!
861
00:39:28,888 --> 00:39:29,889
Sir!
862
00:39:29,972 --> 00:39:31,432
Sir, sir.
863
00:39:31,516 --> 00:39:33,101
Give me the grenade, sir. Sir!
864
00:39:33,184 --> 00:39:36,062
Sir, give me the grenade. Sir. Sir!
865
00:39:36,145 --> 00:39:38,022
[all grunting]
866
00:39:40,066 --> 00:39:42,068
-[Tom groans]
-[Darcy] Ah-ow. Ow!
867
00:39:44,195 --> 00:39:46,948
-[bones crack]
-[both panting]
868
00:39:52,829 --> 00:39:54,622
[whispering] Oh, my God.
869
00:39:54,705 --> 00:39:56,749
-Is he dead?
-I don't know.
870
00:39:58,000 --> 00:39:59,460
[shouts] Are you dead?
871
00:40:07,760 --> 00:40:10,388
Oh, yeah, he's very not alive.
872
00:40:10,471 --> 00:40:12,473
Not alive. Oh, boy.
873
00:40:12,557 --> 00:40:14,475
-Yes! You killed him!
-Yeah!
874
00:40:14,559 --> 00:40:16,727
Yeah, I killed him! I killed him!
875
00:40:16,811 --> 00:40:18,229
[both laughing]
876
00:40:18,312 --> 00:40:20,481
Oh, my God, I killed a man.
877
00:40:20,565 --> 00:40:23,276
I killed a man. No.
878
00:40:23,359 --> 00:40:25,486
-[gasping]
-How do you feel?
879
00:40:25,570 --> 00:40:27,697
I feel... Oh, my God. I feel horrible.
880
00:40:27,780 --> 00:40:30,199
-Yeah.
-But excited.
881
00:40:30,283 --> 00:40:32,368
You know, like, happy.
Like, I'm gonna shit my pants.
882
00:40:32,451 --> 00:40:33,452
-Yeah.
-You know, like,
883
00:40:33,536 --> 00:40:34,996
but in a good way. You know?
884
00:40:35,079 --> 00:40:36,247
[Darcy] Huh.
885
00:40:36,664 --> 00:40:37,790
Oh, my God.
886
00:40:38,666 --> 00:40:40,168
I'm gonna go to prison.
887
00:40:40,251 --> 00:40:41,335
-I'm gonna...
-No!
888
00:40:41,419 --> 00:40:43,087
-Yeah.
-No. It was... It...
889
00:40:43,171 --> 00:40:45,006
It was self-defense.
He was trying to kill us.
890
00:40:45,089 --> 00:40:46,424
Any court would...
891
00:40:47,258 --> 00:40:48,384
Any court...
892
00:40:49,051 --> 00:40:50,052
Are you okay?
893
00:40:50,136 --> 00:40:52,847
Yeah. I'm fine. I'm fine.
894
00:40:52,930 --> 00:40:55,683
It's just, you know, I looked over there
and I saw all the blood.
895
00:40:55,766 --> 00:40:57,435
And, you know, I think I saw some brain.
896
00:40:57,518 --> 00:40:59,228
-Was that brain stuff?
-Yeah. Yeah.
897
00:40:59,312 --> 00:41:02,982
And so I'm just gonna look up at the sky
and... so I don't pass out.
898
00:41:03,065 --> 00:41:04,567
Okay. Well, you know what?
Maybe we should...
899
00:41:04,650 --> 00:41:06,068
-[huffing]
-Let's just step away
900
00:41:06,152 --> 00:41:07,153
from the scene.
901
00:41:07,236 --> 00:41:08,279
-And don't look down.
-Okay.
902
00:41:08,362 --> 00:41:09,363
-Okay.
-Just don't look down.
903
00:41:10,698 --> 00:41:12,450
[pirate leader]
They should be here by now.
904
00:41:12,533 --> 00:41:13,534
Head up the road.
905
00:41:13,618 --> 00:41:14,952
-Check on them.
-[pirate 3] Yeah.
906
00:41:18,414 --> 00:41:20,541
[breathing through teeth]
907
00:41:20,625 --> 00:41:23,878
All right. We need to get off this island.
908
00:41:23,961 --> 00:41:27,006
Well, it might help that
I got this grenade for us.
909
00:41:27,089 --> 00:41:29,467
I mean, he was trying
to blow us up, but I got it.
910
00:41:29,550 --> 00:41:31,761
I got it. Another point for Darcy.
911
00:41:32,678 --> 00:41:34,222
[blows sharply]
912
00:41:34,305 --> 00:41:35,932
Okay, Darcy.
913
00:41:36,015 --> 00:41:37,016
Uh...
914
00:41:37,850 --> 00:41:39,185
Do you remember
915
00:41:39,810 --> 00:41:41,687
that time that we were
driving down the highway
916
00:41:41,771 --> 00:41:44,815
and you very calmly told me to pull over?
917
00:41:44,899 --> 00:41:46,484
And you waited until we pulled over
918
00:41:46,567 --> 00:41:49,278
to tell me that there was
a giant spider on my head?
919
00:41:49,820 --> 00:41:51,197
Yeah. Yeah.
920
00:41:51,280 --> 00:41:52,531
Yeah, well, that was very smart.
921
00:41:52,949 --> 00:41:57,495
Because if you had told me before,
I might have panicked and crashed the car.
922
00:41:57,578 --> 00:41:58,788
Wait. Is there a spider on my head?
923
00:41:58,871 --> 00:42:00,289
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
924
00:42:00,373 --> 00:42:02,333
No, no. I tell you this story because...
925
00:42:03,584 --> 00:42:04,669
I don't want you to panic
926
00:42:04,752 --> 00:42:06,671
when I tell you
what I'm about to tell you.
927
00:42:07,672 --> 00:42:10,383
Your grenade doesn't have a pin.
928
00:42:14,345 --> 00:42:16,055
-What does that mean?
-Well...
929
00:42:16,138 --> 00:42:17,932
Well, is it... is it...
is it gonna explode?
930
00:42:18,015 --> 00:42:19,850
No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no.
931
00:42:19,934 --> 00:42:22,061
Hold it exactly how you're
holding it. Good. Good.
932
00:42:22,353 --> 00:42:24,355
-Okay. Okay.
-Mm-hmm.
933
00:42:24,438 --> 00:42:26,482
That pin holds the handle on.
934
00:42:26,565 --> 00:42:29,568
But when you let go of the grenade,
the handle pops off,
935
00:42:29,652 --> 00:42:32,530
which lights the fuse,
and the whole thing goes...
936
00:42:33,489 --> 00:42:34,532
boom.
937
00:42:34,615 --> 00:42:36,367
[whispers] How do you know
so much about grenades?
938
00:42:36,867 --> 00:42:38,160
Video games.
939
00:42:38,244 --> 00:42:40,037
So what should I do?
Should... Should I throw it?
940
00:42:40,121 --> 00:42:43,791
Well, my concern is that you won't be able
to throw it far enough to not blow us up.
941
00:42:43,874 --> 00:42:45,835
-No offense.
-God.
942
00:42:46,210 --> 00:42:48,546
So, what, I just...
I just hold this live grenade?
943
00:42:48,629 --> 00:42:50,673
This grenade is just part of my life now?
944
00:42:50,756 --> 00:42:52,174
Yeah, for now, yeah, yeah, yeah.
945
00:42:56,095 --> 00:42:57,513
Okay, here's the plan.
946
00:42:58,764 --> 00:42:59,890
We're gonna get a knife.
947
00:42:59,974 --> 00:43:00,933
-Okay. All right.
-I'm gonna cut
948
00:43:01,017 --> 00:43:03,227
through these ties,
we're gonna get rid of that grenade,
949
00:43:03,936 --> 00:43:05,271
and then we're gonna
head down to the docks.
950
00:43:05,354 --> 00:43:07,106
We're gonna bum-rush
the pirate guarding it,
951
00:43:07,189 --> 00:43:09,650
hop in a boat, and head
to the next island for help.
952
00:43:10,234 --> 00:43:13,487
-Okay?
-Tom, that plan...
953
00:43:13,571 --> 00:43:16,032
[sighs] Has too many steps.
I see that now.
954
00:43:16,699 --> 00:43:18,743
[sighs] Now, you got a simpler one?
955
00:43:19,702 --> 00:43:21,412
-Yes. Yes.
-What?
956
00:43:21,495 --> 00:43:23,372
-Yes. Okay.
-What are you doing?
957
00:43:23,456 --> 00:43:25,082
Get down here. Found it.
958
00:43:25,166 --> 00:43:26,625
-Found it. Yes.
-What are we doing?
959
00:43:26,709 --> 00:43:28,461
-Right here.
-What are we doing?
960
00:43:28,544 --> 00:43:30,671
-[laughs triumphantly]
-Oh.
961
00:43:31,339 --> 00:43:32,381
Oh.
962
00:43:32,465 --> 00:43:34,925
Find cell service. Call for help.
963
00:43:35,009 --> 00:43:36,427
When did you put that in your underwear?
964
00:43:36,510 --> 00:43:37,762
[chuckles]
965
00:43:37,845 --> 00:43:39,597
Right before the pirates
took us out of the cabana.
966
00:43:39,680 --> 00:43:41,515
Because I'm a sneaky little bitch.
967
00:43:41,599 --> 00:43:44,060
Oh, you are a sneaky little bitch.
968
00:43:44,769 --> 00:43:46,062
-Thank you.
-[sighs]
969
00:43:46,145 --> 00:43:47,646
-Okay.
-Let's start walking.
970
00:43:47,730 --> 00:43:49,565
[Darcy] Sneaky. Sneaky little bitch.
971
00:43:51,984 --> 00:43:53,611
You're testing my patience, Robert!
972
00:43:53,694 --> 00:43:55,071
Look, you want my money?
I want my daughter.
973
00:43:55,154 --> 00:43:56,739
-It's a simple negotiation.
-[pirate leader] Enough!
974
00:43:56,822 --> 00:43:57,823
All right.
975
00:43:57,907 --> 00:43:58,908
[Carol] They're bringing him back.
976
00:43:58,991 --> 00:44:00,034
[pirate leader] Move.
977
00:44:00,117 --> 00:44:02,495
[Sean] Robert. What happened?
Are you okay?
978
00:44:02,578 --> 00:44:03,621
They didn't hurt you, did they?
979
00:44:03,704 --> 00:44:06,999
Well, I'm not giving them a dime
till I know my daughter's alive.
980
00:44:07,083 --> 00:44:08,876
That didn't go over very well.
981
00:44:09,460 --> 00:44:11,754
I'm afraid they're gonna start
shooting the hostages.
982
00:44:11,837 --> 00:44:12,880
[Sean] I don't think
they're gonna do that.
983
00:44:12,963 --> 00:44:14,840
[Harriett] Isn't that exactly
what pirates do?
984
00:44:22,264 --> 00:44:24,934
Come out, Mr. Pirate Man!
985
00:44:32,024 --> 00:44:33,359
My name
986
00:44:34,485 --> 00:44:37,613
is Carol Elaine Fowler,
987
00:44:38,697 --> 00:44:40,491
and I deserve to live.
988
00:44:41,492 --> 00:44:44,537
Carol, what are you doing?
989
00:44:44,620 --> 00:44:46,122
[whispering] I'm humanizing myself.
990
00:44:46,205 --> 00:44:47,832
[in normal tone] I saw it
on Good Morning America.
991
00:44:47,915 --> 00:44:51,544
If you humanize yourself to them,
they let you live.
992
00:44:54,213 --> 00:44:57,758
I am a wife. I am a mother.
993
00:44:58,217 --> 00:45:02,930
And I was Milford, Michigan's top realtor
in 1998,
994
00:45:03,013 --> 00:45:05,266
and again in 2007.
995
00:45:06,100 --> 00:45:09,395
I dream of going to Ireland.
996
00:45:10,062 --> 00:45:13,732
I was a late bloomer
and my teeth didn't come in till I was 14.
997
00:45:14,358 --> 00:45:15,401
Please pick me.
998
00:45:15,776 --> 00:45:17,570
My name is Jeannie Reed.
999
00:45:17,945 --> 00:45:22,241
I am a devoted mother
and a slightly less devoted wife.
1000
00:45:22,783 --> 00:45:24,535
This is my first vacation without my kids,
1001
00:45:24,618 --> 00:45:27,246
so I drank a lot of champagne
before the ceremony,
1002
00:45:27,329 --> 00:45:28,289
took a couple of weed gummies,
1003
00:45:28,372 --> 00:45:30,708
and the combination
is really killing me right now.
1004
00:45:30,791 --> 00:45:35,004
I'm Amanda Walker.
I'm a godmother and a woman in tech.
1005
00:45:35,087 --> 00:45:37,047
-I went to--
-I am Renata.
1006
00:45:38,466 --> 00:45:40,134
I'm from Brazil.
1007
00:45:41,135 --> 00:45:43,888
I have beautiful hair.
1008
00:45:43,971 --> 00:45:44,930
Yeah. Very beautiful.
1009
00:45:45,723 --> 00:45:46,849
What else?
1010
00:45:48,476 --> 00:45:49,602
You're a mother.
1011
00:45:50,478 --> 00:45:51,937
I am a mother.
1012
00:45:53,147 --> 00:45:54,523
My name is Ricky Silver.
1013
00:45:54,607 --> 00:45:56,650
A lot of my friends, they're pairing up,
1014
00:45:56,734 --> 00:45:59,653
and they're getting married
and drinking loose-leaf tea and shit.
1015
00:45:59,737 --> 00:46:01,739
And I'm still single. But last night...
1016
00:46:03,282 --> 00:46:06,994
I made love to a gorgeous
and terrifying woman.
1017
00:46:07,536 --> 00:46:08,829
You think I'm terrifying?
1018
00:46:09,914 --> 00:46:11,665
You scare the shit out of me.
1019
00:46:12,458 --> 00:46:14,460
[light music playing]
1020
00:46:16,670 --> 00:46:18,172
I'm Larry Fowler.
1021
00:46:20,466 --> 00:46:21,467
[music halts]
1022
00:46:23,469 --> 00:46:24,470
Oh...
1023
00:46:24,970 --> 00:46:25,971
Thank you.
1024
00:46:27,515 --> 00:46:28,933
-Oh.
-[Jeannie] Oh, easy, Dad.
1025
00:46:29,934 --> 00:46:31,101
-Hold the phone. Yes.
-[Tom] How am I gonna...
1026
00:46:31,185 --> 00:46:32,269
-Hold it steady.
-[Darcy] Hold it. Hold on.
1027
00:46:32,353 --> 00:46:34,772
I just gotta get this thing
out of my head.
1028
00:46:34,855 --> 00:46:37,733
It's driving me crazy. [sighs]
1029
00:46:37,816 --> 00:46:39,860
-Wait. Hold on. Just wait.
-What are you...
1030
00:46:41,153 --> 00:46:43,155
What are you...
Are you stuffing a loose wad
1031
00:46:43,239 --> 00:46:44,740
of hair in my pocket?
1032
00:46:44,823 --> 00:46:47,368
Yes. A loose wad of very expensive,
1033
00:46:47,451 --> 00:46:49,453
custom-made hair
that I would like to keep.
1034
00:46:49,537 --> 00:46:50,913
If we survive.
1035
00:46:51,664 --> 00:46:53,624
[laughing]
1036
00:46:53,707 --> 00:46:55,042
What's so funny?
1037
00:46:57,127 --> 00:46:58,879
-I've just been...
-Ow, ow, ow!
1038
00:46:58,963 --> 00:47:01,632
...questioning everything lately.
1039
00:47:01,715 --> 00:47:04,760
What if the wedding's not perfect?
What if your parents never like me?
1040
00:47:04,843 --> 00:47:06,971
What does life look like after baseball?
1041
00:47:07,054 --> 00:47:08,806
But not once did I wonder
1042
00:47:08,889 --> 00:47:13,102
if I'd be walking handcuffed
through the jungle with a live grenade.
1043
00:47:13,811 --> 00:47:17,982
Oh. Pirates chasing you
wasn't on your vision board?
1044
00:47:18,065 --> 00:47:20,234
Well, you were the only thing
on my vision board.
1045
00:47:21,277 --> 00:47:22,319
[Darcy grunts]
1046
00:47:22,403 --> 00:47:23,571
-[Darcy yelps]
-[grunts]
1047
00:47:23,654 --> 00:47:24,738
-I got it, I got it, I got it.
-Oh! Oh!
1048
00:47:24,822 --> 00:47:26,407
-You got it? You got it?
-I got it. I got it.
1049
00:47:26,490 --> 00:47:29,368
-Okay. I got it.
-Oh, good. Okay. Oh. [panting]
1050
00:47:31,579 --> 00:47:33,539
-We have a bar.
-Oh, good.
1051
00:47:34,248 --> 00:47:35,291
All right.
1052
00:47:35,374 --> 00:47:36,709
-Keep your hands with me.
-Okay.
1053
00:47:36,792 --> 00:47:38,460
-Okay.
-Call for help.
1054
00:47:38,544 --> 00:47:40,462
Yes. Shit! It's gone.
1055
00:47:41,463 --> 00:47:43,048
-[groans]
-[Tom] Well, keep trying.
1056
00:47:47,177 --> 00:47:48,887
-I think, maybe...
-We have to go higher.
1057
00:47:48,971 --> 00:47:50,222
-What?
-Yes.
1058
00:47:50,764 --> 00:47:53,267
Not... No. No, no, no.
Uh, I don't like higher.
1059
00:47:55,728 --> 00:47:57,730
[intense music playing]
1060
00:48:05,070 --> 00:48:07,072
Yeah, I don't... I don't think
this thing is built to code.
1061
00:48:07,156 --> 00:48:08,699
-Tom.
-Anything?
1062
00:48:08,782 --> 00:48:10,701
No. Come on.
1063
00:48:11,910 --> 00:48:13,662
-Yeah.
-We're almost at the top.
1064
00:48:13,746 --> 00:48:16,790
Maybe we should go back down
so we're not up so high.
1065
00:48:16,874 --> 00:48:19,752
Don't think about the heights right now.
Okay? We're safe.
1066
00:48:19,835 --> 00:48:21,920
Yeah. You use the word "safe"
very loosely.
1067
00:48:22,921 --> 00:48:24,048
Oh, my God.
1068
00:48:27,760 --> 00:48:28,761
[cell phone chimes]
1069
00:48:28,844 --> 00:48:30,137
-Full service. Full service.
-Oh, yes.
1070
00:48:30,220 --> 00:48:31,472
-I have full service.
-[chiming continues]
1071
00:48:31,555 --> 00:48:32,598
[Tom] Whoa, whoa, whoa. Silence it.
1072
00:48:32,681 --> 00:48:34,475
-[whispers] I'm trying.
-[Tom shushes]
1073
00:48:34,558 --> 00:48:36,268
-[chiming continues]
-[birds chirping]
1074
00:48:39,605 --> 00:48:41,273
Your group chat is out of control.
1075
00:48:41,357 --> 00:48:43,359
I will not apologize
for having enthusiastic friends.
1076
00:48:43,442 --> 00:48:44,818
-[gunshots]
-[both yelp]
1077
00:48:46,862 --> 00:48:48,113
Oh! You dropped it.
1078
00:48:48,197 --> 00:48:49,990
-[Darcy] Come on!
-[gunshots continue]
1079
00:48:50,532 --> 00:48:52,242
-We gotta zip.
-Zip?
1080
00:48:52,326 --> 00:48:53,619
What do you mean, "zip"?
1081
00:48:54,620 --> 00:48:56,705
-Oh! Zip. Oh, God!
-[gunshot]
1082
00:48:56,789 --> 00:48:58,040
Go, go, go.
1083
00:48:58,707 --> 00:49:00,584
No, I don't think we have
the proper equipment.
1084
00:49:00,668 --> 00:49:02,127
-[gunshot]
-Well, they have guns.
1085
00:49:02,211 --> 00:49:03,337
[Tom] Is there some kind of a manual?
1086
00:49:03,420 --> 00:49:04,463
[pirate 3] Come down!
1087
00:49:04,546 --> 00:49:07,007
[Tom] We need helmets.
I see lots of helmets in the photos.
1088
00:49:07,091 --> 00:49:08,008
[Darcy grunts]
1089
00:49:08,092 --> 00:49:09,426
And then why do they look scared?
1090
00:49:09,510 --> 00:49:11,178
[Darcy] Stop thinking so much. Jump!
1091
00:49:11,970 --> 00:49:14,056
[Tom screaming]
1092
00:49:17,768 --> 00:49:20,562
-Stop screaming!
-Oh, God! Oh, my God!
1093
00:49:20,646 --> 00:49:21,897
Whoa!
1094
00:49:21,980 --> 00:49:23,148
Tom, don't let go.
1095
00:49:23,232 --> 00:49:25,234
-[gunshots]
-The fuck!
1096
00:49:25,818 --> 00:49:28,195
[both screaming]
1097
00:49:29,321 --> 00:49:31,198
[Tom] Hold on, baby. Hold on.
1098
00:49:31,281 --> 00:49:32,491
Okay.
1099
00:49:34,618 --> 00:49:36,453
[Tom screaming]
1100
00:49:36,537 --> 00:49:37,538
[grenade clatters]
1101
00:49:38,247 --> 00:49:39,248
[pirate 4] Uh...
1102
00:49:40,290 --> 00:49:43,711
-Yeah! [laughs]
-[Darcy] Yeah!
1103
00:49:44,378 --> 00:49:46,213
[pirate leader] What the hell was that?
1104
00:49:46,296 --> 00:49:48,465
-[Darcy screaming]
-[laughing]
1105
00:49:50,050 --> 00:49:52,386
[Tom screaming]
1106
00:49:56,932 --> 00:49:57,975
[Darcy] Oh, God!
1107
00:50:00,561 --> 00:50:02,271
-[Darcy] Oh, God!
-How do we land this thing?
1108
00:50:02,354 --> 00:50:03,814
Me first. I'm gonna go first.
1109
00:50:03,897 --> 00:50:06,817
-What about me?
-No, let me. Me first.
1110
00:50:06,900 --> 00:50:08,485
I'm gonna jump. I'm gonna jump.
1111
00:50:08,569 --> 00:50:10,821
-[Tom] Okay, okay.
-I got it. I got it.
1112
00:50:10,904 --> 00:50:12,156
Here I go!
1113
00:50:14,450 --> 00:50:15,868
[Darcy groans]
1114
00:50:17,453 --> 00:50:20,414
[Tom] Oh! [groaning]
1115
00:50:22,416 --> 00:50:23,834
[Tom panting]
1116
00:50:26,962 --> 00:50:28,922
[solemn music playing]
1117
00:50:37,055 --> 00:50:39,016
[suspenseful music playing]
1118
00:50:45,397 --> 00:50:47,065
[pirate leader] These people are sick.
1119
00:50:47,816 --> 00:50:51,236
You find them, but I kill them.
1120
00:50:51,320 --> 00:50:52,905
[rustling]
1121
00:50:54,406 --> 00:50:55,824
[pirate 2] You can have the man,
1122
00:50:56,867 --> 00:50:58,660
but the bride is mine.
1123
00:51:01,705 --> 00:51:03,540
[Darcy] Police, coast guard,
they're all right there.
1124
00:51:03,624 --> 00:51:04,958
-How do we get across?
-I don't know.
1125
00:51:05,042 --> 00:51:07,628
[Carol] Okay, let's all go around
and play two truths and a lie.
1126
00:51:07,711 --> 00:51:08,754
[pirate] Be quiet!
1127
00:51:08,837 --> 00:51:10,047
-Carol.
-Mom.
1128
00:51:10,506 --> 00:51:11,882
-[Darcy] Easy.
-[mumbles]
1129
00:51:12,716 --> 00:51:13,926
Okay, come on.
1130
00:51:14,676 --> 00:51:15,969
Come on, come on, come on.
1131
00:51:21,016 --> 00:51:22,434
[Darcy] Oh, my God.
1132
00:51:22,518 --> 00:51:23,894
Oh, my God. [crying]
1133
00:51:25,771 --> 00:51:27,147
I'm gonna fix this.
1134
00:51:31,151 --> 00:51:32,569
[Darcy] My poor mom.
1135
00:51:32,653 --> 00:51:35,489
She thought she was gonna be able
to avoid my dad all weekend.
1136
00:51:37,074 --> 00:51:39,618
My mom used to love my dad so much.
1137
00:51:42,037 --> 00:51:43,747
He was her whole world.
1138
00:51:43,831 --> 00:51:46,625
Then when he left, she just lost her joy.
1139
00:51:47,668 --> 00:51:49,253
I mean, she acts tough, but...
1140
00:51:51,922 --> 00:51:53,632
she never really recovered.
1141
00:51:59,012 --> 00:52:00,639
-Darcy, I'm sorry...
-I know.
1142
00:52:02,349 --> 00:52:03,725
We have to keep moving.
1143
00:52:07,020 --> 00:52:08,063
[both gasp]
1144
00:52:12,943 --> 00:52:14,903
[amusing music playing]
1145
00:52:19,575 --> 00:52:21,451
[whispering] What the hell does that mean?
1146
00:52:25,038 --> 00:52:26,039
[whispering] Kitchen.
1147
00:52:28,959 --> 00:52:30,419
-[door opens]
-[Tom grunts]
1148
00:52:30,502 --> 00:52:32,212
Okay, we need to find a knife.
1149
00:52:32,713 --> 00:52:34,798
-Oh. Mmm.
-What... What...
1150
00:52:34,882 --> 00:52:35,841
What are you doing?
1151
00:52:35,924 --> 00:52:37,426
I'm starving. Have you eaten today?
1152
00:52:37,509 --> 00:52:38,594
No, I'm not hungry.
1153
00:52:38,677 --> 00:52:40,053
Yes, you are. You're acting cranky.
1154
00:52:40,137 --> 00:52:43,015
-Mmm. Mmm! Mmm.
-[Darcy] Mmm.
1155
00:52:44,766 --> 00:52:46,977
-Mmm, this is so delicious.
-[indistinct radio chatter]
1156
00:52:48,645 --> 00:52:49,730
[Darcy gasps]
1157
00:52:58,238 --> 00:52:59,865
[whispering] I love your mom.
1158
00:52:59,948 --> 00:53:01,241
Okay, come on.
1159
00:53:02,326 --> 00:53:04,202
Come on. Ow! Easy, easy.
1160
00:53:04,286 --> 00:53:05,579
I can't cut with one hand.
1161
00:53:05,662 --> 00:53:07,289
Well, I can't cut with no hands.
1162
00:53:11,919 --> 00:53:13,712
We need to find something else.
1163
00:53:13,795 --> 00:53:14,922
Okay?
1164
00:53:15,672 --> 00:53:18,008
Something that cuts through plastic.
1165
00:53:18,926 --> 00:53:20,302
Hmm...
1166
00:53:22,930 --> 00:53:23,931
Yep.
1167
00:53:24,431 --> 00:53:26,183
[whirring]
1168
00:53:28,852 --> 00:53:30,395
-Is this a bad idea?
-Yeah.
1169
00:53:30,479 --> 00:53:32,314
-You ready?
-No!
1170
00:53:33,941 --> 00:53:34,942
Okay.
1171
00:53:37,819 --> 00:53:39,404
[mumbles] There you go.
1172
00:53:41,198 --> 00:53:42,616
[loudly] Hang on, hang on, hang on!
1173
00:53:42,699 --> 00:53:43,825
[groans] Darcy, you're stalling.
1174
00:53:43,909 --> 00:53:45,035
-I know.
-We got this.
1175
00:53:45,118 --> 00:53:46,203
-Okay. Yes.
-We got this.
1176
00:53:46,912 --> 00:53:48,580
-On my count. Ready?
-Okay.
1177
00:53:48,664 --> 00:53:51,500
-Yes.
-Ten, nine, eight...
1178
00:53:51,583 --> 00:53:53,251
Why are you counting from ten?
1179
00:53:53,335 --> 00:53:54,586
What is this, a rocket launch?
1180
00:53:54,670 --> 00:53:55,712
Okay, fine. On four.
1181
00:53:56,338 --> 00:53:59,800
One, two, three--
1182
00:53:59,883 --> 00:54:01,301
No one goes on four.
1183
00:54:01,385 --> 00:54:02,844
-No one goes on four.
-All right...
1184
00:54:02,928 --> 00:54:04,179
Shh! Shh.
1185
00:54:04,262 --> 00:54:06,014
-[grunts] Okay.
-Just...
1186
00:54:06,098 --> 00:54:08,266
-Just like a Band-Aid.
-Fine, fine.
1187
00:54:08,350 --> 00:54:09,559
-Ready? Go.
-Like a Band-Aid.
1188
00:54:09,643 --> 00:54:11,520
-[machine whines]
-[Tom screams]
1189
00:54:11,603 --> 00:54:13,939
-[groaning]
-[Darcy screams]
1190
00:54:15,190 --> 00:54:16,400
[blood dripping]
1191
00:54:16,483 --> 00:54:18,151
[muffled screaming]
1192
00:54:18,235 --> 00:54:19,277
[squeals]
1193
00:54:20,988 --> 00:54:22,823
[groans] Oh, my God.
1194
00:54:27,244 --> 00:54:28,704
Come on. [grunts]
1195
00:54:33,375 --> 00:54:35,502
[tense music playing]
1196
00:54:35,585 --> 00:54:37,754
-[sizzling]
-[liquid boiling]
1197
00:55:03,947 --> 00:55:04,948
[cocks gun]
1198
00:55:05,657 --> 00:55:06,825
Tom!
1199
00:55:08,618 --> 00:55:09,870
[softly] Tom.
1200
00:55:10,370 --> 00:55:12,372
-[dish clangs]
-[Tom grunts]
1201
00:55:19,921 --> 00:55:20,922
[grunts]
1202
00:55:22,841 --> 00:55:23,842
[pirate grunts]
1203
00:55:26,845 --> 00:55:28,722
[squeaking]
1204
00:55:29,097 --> 00:55:30,640
[both grunting]
1205
00:55:40,525 --> 00:55:41,943
[pirate screams]
1206
00:55:42,903 --> 00:55:44,071
[pirate yells]
1207
00:55:50,702 --> 00:55:52,621
[Tom panting]
1208
00:55:56,541 --> 00:55:58,502
[continues panting]
1209
00:56:02,380 --> 00:56:03,673
I thought you left.
1210
00:56:05,133 --> 00:56:06,218
What?
1211
00:56:08,678 --> 00:56:09,679
No.
1212
00:56:11,389 --> 00:56:12,557
Never.
1213
00:56:16,937 --> 00:56:18,355
Where'd your mom's knife go?
1214
00:56:29,699 --> 00:56:31,535
Oh, Jesus, help me.
1215
00:56:37,624 --> 00:56:39,292
[sighs in relief] That's good.
1216
00:56:40,710 --> 00:56:41,962
Throw me those boots.
1217
00:57:00,564 --> 00:57:02,607
[rousing music playing]
1218
00:57:07,863 --> 00:57:08,864
What?
1219
00:57:09,781 --> 00:57:12,826
That dress is growing on me.
1220
00:57:15,453 --> 00:57:16,663
Thanks.
1221
00:57:17,414 --> 00:57:19,040
I wanted something less traditional.
1222
00:57:20,792 --> 00:57:22,752
[whirring]
1223
00:57:28,508 --> 00:57:30,177
[intense music playing]
1224
00:57:48,320 --> 00:57:51,198
Yes. Maybe Margy's got
a hard line to the Internet.
1225
00:57:52,782 --> 00:57:54,326
Wow, does Margy love corgis.
1226
00:57:55,994 --> 00:57:57,871
No. Damn it.
1227
00:57:58,997 --> 00:58:00,707
[pirate 2] You go over there,
I'll go here.
1228
00:58:00,790 --> 00:58:02,167
-[pirate 5] Yeah.
-They're right there.
1229
00:58:02,250 --> 00:58:03,793
-What do I do?
-I don't know.
1230
00:58:04,211 --> 00:58:05,587
I don't know.
1231
00:58:06,671 --> 00:58:08,131
-[Tom gasps]
-[shushes]
1232
00:58:08,215 --> 00:58:09,758
-Oh, Margy.
-This way.
1233
00:58:09,841 --> 00:58:10,926
[Tom] Go, go, go.
1234
00:58:11,968 --> 00:58:13,345
Okay. I got you.
1235
00:58:13,428 --> 00:58:15,305
[Darcy] It's okay. It's okay.
1236
00:58:16,306 --> 00:58:17,390
[door closes]
1237
00:58:17,474 --> 00:58:19,142
Come. Faster, faster.
1238
00:58:20,143 --> 00:58:21,895
Ace, Margy...
1239
00:58:21,978 --> 00:58:23,772
-Is this your bunker?
-[Ace] Uh-huh.
1240
00:58:23,855 --> 00:58:24,814
-Man cave.
-Is it spinning?
1241
00:58:24,898 --> 00:58:25,941
Is it spinning for anyone else?
1242
00:58:26,316 --> 00:58:28,068
You're losing blood. Sit down.
1243
00:58:28,151 --> 00:58:30,695
-Sit down. Okay.
-Bandages. Ace.
1244
00:58:30,779 --> 00:58:32,447
[Ace] I'll get the medical kit.
1245
00:58:32,530 --> 00:58:34,157
Give me your hand. I'm gonna wrap it.
1246
00:58:34,241 --> 00:58:36,117
No. No, no, no. No.
1247
00:58:36,743 --> 00:58:38,203
Are you sure? It's disgusting.
1248
00:58:39,704 --> 00:58:40,705
Yeah.
1249
00:58:47,545 --> 00:58:48,838
Oh. Cheers.
1250
00:58:51,800 --> 00:58:53,009
[shudders] Okay.
1251
00:58:53,093 --> 00:58:55,470
[groans] Looks like it's got a flap.
1252
00:58:56,721 --> 00:58:58,181
It's got a loose flap.
1253
00:58:58,265 --> 00:58:59,432
-Listen, just be...
-[Darcy] Mm-hmm.
1254
00:59:00,100 --> 00:59:02,310
Just... Just be careful with the flap.
1255
00:59:02,394 --> 00:59:04,771
Please stop saying "flap," okay?
1256
00:59:04,854 --> 00:59:06,982
I'm totally fine. Just don't say flap.
1257
00:59:07,774 --> 00:59:09,859
-[Margy] How many are there?
-Uh...
1258
00:59:09,943 --> 00:59:13,280
Two in the lobby.
Couple more by the pool with the hostages.
1259
00:59:13,363 --> 00:59:16,366
And, uh, one by the dock, right?
1260
00:59:16,449 --> 00:59:18,702
But we got four.
1261
00:59:19,452 --> 00:59:20,954
What do you mean, "got"?
1262
00:59:24,249 --> 00:59:26,668
Got them to stop, you know,
1263
00:59:27,919 --> 00:59:29,170
being alive.
1264
00:59:29,963 --> 00:59:31,631
Holy shit.
1265
00:59:31,715 --> 00:59:34,009
[Tom] Well, yeah, we didn't see
any of your staff, though.
1266
00:59:34,092 --> 00:59:36,344
I saw them getting locked up in the spa.
1267
00:59:36,428 --> 00:59:37,929
They never bother with the locals.
1268
00:59:38,013 --> 00:59:41,266
Americans are the rich idiots. No offense.
1269
00:59:41,349 --> 00:59:44,185
I just don't understand
why the pirates are still here.
1270
00:59:44,269 --> 00:59:46,021
Last time, they just looted the rooms.
1271
00:59:46,104 --> 00:59:49,190
Twenty minutes, gone. [sighs]
1272
00:59:50,483 --> 00:59:51,693
What do you mean, "last time"?
1273
00:59:51,776 --> 00:59:53,611
Last year. [speaking Filipino]
1274
00:59:53,695 --> 00:59:55,655
[in English] Two thousand islands
in the Philippines,
1275
00:59:55,739 --> 00:59:56,906
and they hit us twice?
1276
00:59:56,990 --> 00:59:58,366
-It's not fair.
-Wait, wait.
1277
00:59:59,367 --> 01:00:01,703
The pirates were here last summer?
1278
01:00:01,786 --> 01:00:03,288
And you let us have our wedding here?
1279
01:00:03,371 --> 01:00:06,875
What? Tom-Tom. We talked about it, huh?
1280
01:00:09,419 --> 01:00:10,420
You knew about this?
1281
01:00:10,503 --> 01:00:12,547
Well, first of all,
nobody got killed last summer.
1282
01:00:12,630 --> 01:00:13,673
And we both agreed that
1283
01:00:13,757 --> 01:00:15,967
the chances of it happening again
were very small.
1284
01:00:16,051 --> 01:00:17,844
-Who's "we"?
-Me and Margy.
1285
01:00:18,511 --> 01:00:19,637
We e-mailed a lot,
1286
01:00:19,721 --> 01:00:21,556
and I asked a lot of
tough questions, didn't I?
1287
01:00:21,639 --> 01:00:23,808
How could you not tell me about this?
1288
01:00:23,892 --> 01:00:25,393
You didn't tell me that
you were having doubts
1289
01:00:25,477 --> 01:00:26,644
about getting married, so...
1290
01:00:26,728 --> 01:00:29,606
Yeah, you're right. I didn't.
You know why?
1291
01:00:29,939 --> 01:00:33,860
Because all last year,
you were in your head about everything.
1292
01:00:33,943 --> 01:00:36,738
You thought my dad didn't like you,
so you started acting all weird.
1293
01:00:36,821 --> 01:00:38,114
And now my dad doesn't like you.
1294
01:00:38,782 --> 01:00:40,325
You thought the Robins
were gonna drop you.
1295
01:00:40,408 --> 01:00:42,744
And then you started playing badly,
and they did drop you.
1296
01:00:42,827 --> 01:00:44,829
You think that something bad
is gonna happen,
1297
01:00:44,913 --> 01:00:46,748
and then you make it happen.
1298
01:00:46,831 --> 01:00:48,291
That's called self-sabotage.
1299
01:00:48,375 --> 01:00:50,418
It is. Ace, thank you.
1300
01:00:50,835 --> 01:00:53,546
And all you were excited about
was this wedding.
1301
01:00:53,630 --> 01:00:56,674
And I knew that if I told you
that I was having doubts,
1302
01:00:56,758 --> 01:00:58,802
that you would sabotage
our whole relationship.
1303
01:00:58,885 --> 01:01:00,428
Which you did anyway!
1304
01:01:00,512 --> 01:01:02,055
I didn't sabotage anything.
1305
01:01:02,555 --> 01:01:04,265
I tried to make this wedding perfect.
1306
01:01:04,349 --> 01:01:07,102
And it all got ruined the day
your boy Sean showed up.
1307
01:01:07,185 --> 01:01:08,895
This has nothing to do with Sean.
1308
01:01:08,978 --> 01:01:10,730
This is about your insecurities.
1309
01:01:10,814 --> 01:01:12,148
And this whole wedding
1310
01:01:12,232 --> 01:01:14,734
was your way of trying
to get control of your life,
1311
01:01:14,818 --> 01:01:16,069
because you have to control everything.
1312
01:01:16,152 --> 01:01:19,030
It's like when you get out of the car
to "help me" parallel park,
1313
01:01:19,114 --> 01:01:20,698
when I can do it just fine on my own.
1314
01:01:20,782 --> 01:01:22,409
Yeah, I wouldn't call
a 17-point turn "just fine."
1315
01:01:22,492 --> 01:01:24,577
Well, those jeans you bought
from Old Navy last month
1316
01:01:24,661 --> 01:01:25,912
were women's jeans.
1317
01:01:25,995 --> 01:01:27,163
Uh...
1318
01:01:27,247 --> 01:01:28,706
Well, I found them in the men's section.
1319
01:01:28,790 --> 01:01:30,125
They made you look like Stevie Nicks.
1320
01:01:30,208 --> 01:01:32,752
That haircut that you got last year,
I hated it.
1321
01:01:32,836 --> 01:01:35,380
It made your head look square.
You looked like a fucking Simpson.
1322
01:01:35,463 --> 01:01:37,006
You said it was chic.
1323
01:01:37,090 --> 01:01:38,800
You act so confident,
1324
01:01:38,883 --> 01:01:40,593
so strong,
but you're just a scared little girl.
1325
01:01:42,262 --> 01:01:44,514
You're afraid to go all in
on this relationship
1326
01:01:44,597 --> 01:01:46,891
because it means you might
have something to lose.
1327
01:01:46,975 --> 01:01:48,435
[breath trembling]
1328
01:01:53,857 --> 01:01:56,067
Well, you know what?
None of it matters anyway.
1329
01:01:57,152 --> 01:02:00,363
Because everyone we love could die.
1330
01:02:03,700 --> 01:02:04,993
Because of me.
1331
01:02:08,705 --> 01:02:10,081
[Margy gasps]
1332
01:02:10,165 --> 01:02:11,583
[Tom shushes]
1333
01:02:23,553 --> 01:02:24,554
[radio crackles]
1334
01:02:25,388 --> 01:02:26,973
[pirate 2] I think they're
in the manager's house.
1335
01:02:27,056 --> 01:02:28,641
[all gasp]
1336
01:02:35,356 --> 01:02:37,150
-[door creaks]
-[shushes]
1337
01:02:42,989 --> 01:02:43,990
[door closes]
1338
01:02:48,786 --> 01:02:50,788
[footsteps overhead]
1339
01:02:54,250 --> 01:02:56,085
[indistinct radio chatter]
1340
01:02:58,963 --> 01:03:00,590
[whispering] I think they heard it.
1341
01:03:00,673 --> 01:03:01,841
[whispering] Why?
1342
01:03:01,925 --> 01:03:03,593
They stopped speaking English.
1343
01:03:05,345 --> 01:03:06,763
Here. Take it.
1344
01:03:08,348 --> 01:03:09,974
[Margy whispering] Don't. Tom.
1345
01:03:12,435 --> 01:03:14,354
We need to get out of here.
Where does this tunnel go?
1346
01:03:14,437 --> 01:03:17,565
It leads straight to the pool
where the rest of the pirates are.
1347
01:03:17,649 --> 01:03:19,192
Oh, that's not ideal.
1348
01:03:20,985 --> 01:03:22,320
[indistinct radio chatter]
1349
01:03:23,404 --> 01:03:24,781
What are they saying?
1350
01:03:25,365 --> 01:03:26,533
No clue.
1351
01:03:26,616 --> 01:03:30,036
I don't know what language that is,
but it ain't Filipino.
1352
01:03:30,787 --> 01:03:32,163
-No.
-No.
1353
01:03:36,626 --> 01:03:38,503
No one move. Stay right here.
1354
01:03:39,087 --> 01:03:40,213
Nobody move.
1355
01:03:41,381 --> 01:03:42,882
[Darcy] What are you doing?
1356
01:03:47,220 --> 01:03:49,222
[suspenseful music playing]
1357
01:03:52,725 --> 01:03:53,726
Okay.
1358
01:03:54,143 --> 01:03:56,813
They know someone's here,
but they don't know all of us are.
1359
01:03:58,982 --> 01:04:01,985
You stay here until it's over.
1360
01:04:03,319 --> 01:04:04,279
Tom!
1361
01:04:08,658 --> 01:04:10,785
Tom! They're gonna kill you.
1362
01:04:10,868 --> 01:04:12,495
-Don't do this.
-[Tom] I have to.
1363
01:04:13,162 --> 01:04:15,415
This isn't about us anymore. This is...
1364
01:04:16,082 --> 01:04:19,085
[sighs] This whole thing is my fault.
1365
01:04:22,297 --> 01:04:24,090
You deserve better.
1366
01:04:24,882 --> 01:04:25,883
Wait, Tom!
1367
01:04:26,634 --> 01:04:27,802
[grunts]
1368
01:04:37,270 --> 01:04:38,396
[groans]
1369
01:04:38,479 --> 01:04:39,897
Uh... Oh, hey.
1370
01:04:39,981 --> 01:04:41,274
Hey, pirates!
1371
01:04:41,357 --> 01:04:43,735
I'm Tom, the groom you guys
have been looking for,
1372
01:04:43,818 --> 01:04:44,819
and I am officially surrendering.
1373
01:04:44,902 --> 01:04:45,903
-[pirate 2] Shut up!
-[Tom] All right.
1374
01:04:45,987 --> 01:04:47,322
What, you don't like
to be called "pirates"?
1375
01:04:47,405 --> 01:04:50,533
I wanted to be a pirate when I was a kid,
and you guys are actually doin' it.
1376
01:04:50,617 --> 01:04:52,035
-[pirate 2] Move.
-[Tom] You're livin' the dream.
1377
01:04:52,118 --> 01:04:53,077
Congratulations.
1378
01:04:53,536 --> 01:04:56,414
They didn't kill him. Oh, my God.
1379
01:04:56,497 --> 01:04:57,707
He's still alive.
1380
01:04:59,792 --> 01:05:00,793
[pirate 2] Go!
1381
01:05:01,544 --> 01:05:03,755
Keep going. Just move.
1382
01:05:05,923 --> 01:05:08,343
[Carol] Tommy. Oh, my God.
It's Tommy. Tommy!
1383
01:05:08,426 --> 01:05:10,178
-[all clamoring]
-Shut up!
1384
01:05:10,261 --> 01:05:11,804
-Tommy, where is Darcy?
-Shut up!
1385
01:05:11,888 --> 01:05:14,766
[pirate leader] Yes. Where is your bride?
1386
01:05:14,849 --> 01:05:16,517
-I... I don't know.
-[stapler clicks]
1387
01:05:17,685 --> 01:05:19,771
Truly. Honestly. I... I... I don't.
1388
01:05:19,854 --> 01:05:22,315
For reals. I don't...
I don't... I don't know.
1389
01:05:23,358 --> 01:05:24,817
You're a bad liar.
1390
01:05:24,901 --> 01:05:26,444
Yeah, he is a bad liar.
1391
01:05:26,527 --> 01:05:29,447
Tom, if you know something,
the best thing you can do is cooperate.
1392
01:05:29,530 --> 01:05:31,115
All they want is the money.
1393
01:05:32,158 --> 01:05:35,620
You know what? Thank you, Sean,
as always, for being the voice of reason.
1394
01:05:35,703 --> 01:05:36,704
Enough!
1395
01:05:36,788 --> 01:05:38,039
-[guns cock]
-[guests gasp]
1396
01:05:38,122 --> 01:05:40,291
-Okay, fine!
-[Larry] Okay.
1397
01:05:41,250 --> 01:05:42,669
I'll tell you where she is.
1398
01:05:43,878 --> 01:05:45,880
[tense music playing]
1399
01:05:48,383 --> 01:05:49,717
[whispers] Katuk kak ci.
1400
01:05:49,801 --> 01:05:50,760
-[pirate leader] What?
-[grunts]
1401
01:05:50,843 --> 01:05:52,136
[guests exclaim]
1402
01:05:52,220 --> 01:05:53,680
Holy shit. What did you say to him?
1403
01:05:53,763 --> 01:05:55,181
[Tom] It's kind of an inside joke, Sean.
1404
01:05:55,264 --> 01:05:56,683
Can you give me a hand?
I'm a little woozy.
1405
01:05:56,766 --> 01:05:58,476
[Sean] 'Course, man. Here, I got you.
1406
01:05:58,559 --> 01:06:00,978
-Whoa, whoa! Whoa!
-[all screaming]
1407
01:06:01,062 --> 01:06:03,314
-[gun cocks]
-What the hell are you doing?
1408
01:06:03,398 --> 01:06:05,358
Don't move or I swear to God,
you'll lose an eye.
1409
01:06:05,441 --> 01:06:06,609
Tommy, what are you doing?
1410
01:06:06,693 --> 01:06:08,277
Are you gonna spill the beans or should I?
1411
01:06:08,361 --> 01:06:09,362
What beans?
1412
01:06:09,445 --> 01:06:10,905
[crying] Just spill the beans.
1413
01:06:10,988 --> 01:06:12,573
Sean hired these guys
1414
01:06:12,657 --> 01:06:15,118
to invade our wedding
to take Robert's money!
1415
01:06:15,743 --> 01:06:17,286
[Sean] Whoa. No, no, no, no, Tom.
1416
01:06:17,370 --> 01:06:18,454
No, it's true.
1417
01:06:18,538 --> 01:06:20,998
[Sean] That is a serious accusation,
1418
01:06:21,082 --> 01:06:22,458
but it's okay,
1419
01:06:22,542 --> 01:06:24,752
'cause jealousy can get
the best of any of us.
1420
01:06:24,836 --> 01:06:26,337
Oh, no, no, no. I'm not jealous.
1421
01:06:26,421 --> 01:06:27,755
-[guests murmur]
-[Renata] Kind of.
1422
01:06:27,839 --> 01:06:30,591
It is completely normal
for you to see me as a threat
1423
01:06:30,675 --> 01:06:32,009
because Deedee and I
1424
01:06:32,093 --> 01:06:33,886
-had something transcendent.
-[scoffs]
1425
01:06:33,970 --> 01:06:36,139
But I am not a bad guy.
1426
01:06:36,222 --> 01:06:38,349
And I definitely don't have
anything to do with these pirates.
1427
01:06:38,433 --> 01:06:42,395
Oh, yeah? Then why did he deck me
when I told him to go fuck his grandpa?
1428
01:06:42,478 --> 01:06:44,480
Just listen. Listen to yourself.
1429
01:06:44,564 --> 01:06:46,733
I said it in Balinese.
These guys are not local.
1430
01:06:46,816 --> 01:06:48,109
They're from Bali.
1431
01:06:48,192 --> 01:06:51,195
Margy said the local pirates
just looted and left last time.
1432
01:06:51,279 --> 01:06:52,780
It took 'em, like, 20 minutes.
1433
01:06:52,864 --> 01:06:54,282
Oh, God. "Last time"?
1434
01:06:54,365 --> 01:06:56,284
We were clearly targeted.
This whole thing was planned.
1435
01:06:56,367 --> 01:06:59,162
They knew about Robert's money.
1436
01:06:59,245 --> 01:07:02,582
And none of it made sense
until I found this.
1437
01:07:02,665 --> 01:07:04,292
[Sean grunting]
1438
01:07:06,127 --> 01:07:07,712
Ricky, grab my... Grab the... the...
1439
01:07:07,795 --> 01:07:09,297
-[Ricky] Yeah, yeah.
-In my front pocket. Grab...
1440
01:07:09,380 --> 01:07:10,506
There's an envelope in my front pocket.
1441
01:07:10,590 --> 01:07:12,675
-[all exclaiming]
-Just grab it!
1442
01:07:13,134 --> 01:07:14,177
There you go.
1443
01:07:14,260 --> 01:07:15,720
A-ha!
1444
01:07:16,137 --> 01:07:17,388
[pirate leader] Slow, slow. Go slow.
1445
01:07:17,472 --> 01:07:18,723
[Tom laughs]
1446
01:07:19,182 --> 01:07:20,391
Your wedding invitation?
1447
01:07:20,475 --> 01:07:23,019
[Tom] Yes, but I got it off
of one of these guys.
1448
01:07:23,102 --> 01:07:25,480
Now, how did they get that invitation?
1449
01:07:25,563 --> 01:07:27,148
-[Carol] I don't know.
-[Larry] Uh...
1450
01:07:27,231 --> 01:07:29,609
It had to be given to him
by an invited guest.
1451
01:07:30,526 --> 01:07:33,446
Now, what invited guest
could that be? Huh?
1452
01:07:36,032 --> 01:07:37,450
Ricky, op... open it.
1453
01:07:39,243 --> 01:07:40,703
A-ha!
1454
01:07:42,163 --> 01:07:46,626
This asshat thought it was appropriate
to show up to a wedding he didn't RSVP to!
1455
01:07:46,709 --> 01:07:48,795
He didn't RSVP!
1456
01:07:48,878 --> 01:07:50,797
Mom, that's not the main issue right now.
1457
01:07:50,880 --> 01:07:54,383
Look, I'm a mother. I can be upset
about a lot of things at the same time.
1458
01:07:54,467 --> 01:07:56,010
I think, right now, we should be upset
about one thing.
1459
01:07:56,594 --> 01:07:59,180
-Oh, okay.
-[Tom] Sean had these guys
1460
01:07:59,263 --> 01:08:01,682
crash our wedding
so that he could get a big fat ransom
1461
01:08:01,766 --> 01:08:03,267
from his best friend, Robert.
1462
01:08:03,351 --> 01:08:04,936
[guests exclaiming]
1463
01:08:06,521 --> 01:08:08,147
Huh? Yeah!
1464
01:08:08,231 --> 01:08:10,233
-[Sean] Bob... Bob.
-[Tom] Yes!
1465
01:08:10,316 --> 01:08:11,734
This is because I didn't give you
1466
01:08:11,818 --> 01:08:13,569
that investment money
you wanted, isn't it?
1467
01:08:13,653 --> 01:08:15,071
-Yeah.
-No, no, it's not like that.
1468
01:08:15,154 --> 01:08:16,823
-[exclaims in Spanish]
-How could... Papi.
1469
01:08:16,906 --> 01:08:19,575
How could you believe
that I would come here and betray ev...
1470
01:08:19,659 --> 01:08:20,868
[Tom] Believe it, Robert. Believe it.
1471
01:08:21,994 --> 01:08:23,955
-That's right. That's right.
-Shit.
1472
01:08:24,330 --> 01:08:25,832
-[grunts]
-[all gasp]
1473
01:08:30,795 --> 01:08:31,921
[guests clamoring]
1474
01:08:32,004 --> 01:08:35,675
See? See, I told ya! I told ya!
1475
01:08:36,884 --> 01:08:41,556
[Margy] These lanterns are so intricate.
Is there a note in it?
1476
01:08:46,435 --> 01:08:48,813
"Be excellent to each other."
1477
01:08:48,896 --> 01:08:50,565
-[Ace] Hmm.
-[Margy] Hmm. Huh.
1478
01:08:53,818 --> 01:08:56,279
[wheezing cry]
1479
01:08:58,531 --> 01:09:01,534
It's from Bill and Ted's
Excellent Adventure.
1480
01:09:02,743 --> 01:09:06,372
Tom wanted to put a movie quote
in each one of the lanterns, and I...
1481
01:09:06,455 --> 01:09:09,750
I thought it was stupid, but it's not.
1482
01:09:09,834 --> 01:09:12,044
It's sweet.
1483
01:09:12,128 --> 01:09:14,046
And I messed it all up.
1484
01:09:14,130 --> 01:09:16,173
I don't know how you guys do it.
1485
01:09:16,257 --> 01:09:19,302
You must have something
really special. [sniffles]
1486
01:09:19,760 --> 01:09:22,346
-Not really.
-Oi.
1487
01:09:22,430 --> 01:09:26,225
Uh, I mean, it is special
but it is not magic.
1488
01:09:26,309 --> 01:09:28,394
We just made a vow.
1489
01:09:28,477 --> 01:09:31,147
And we've messed things up
thousands of times.
1490
01:09:31,230 --> 01:09:35,192
But when we break something, we fix it.
1491
01:09:37,612 --> 01:09:39,363
[patting Margy]
1492
01:09:46,329 --> 01:09:48,331
[dramatic music playing]
1493
01:09:49,707 --> 01:09:53,085
[Margy] Darcy, we come with you,
but we don't want to.
1494
01:09:59,759 --> 01:10:01,761
Tommy finally made the big leagues.
1495
01:10:01,844 --> 01:10:04,055
Yeah, I never heard that one before.
1496
01:10:04,472 --> 01:10:06,140
I know you haven't.
1497
01:10:06,849 --> 01:10:09,352
-Where is she?
-I don't know.
1498
01:10:09,435 --> 01:10:10,937
I don't... I... I don't... I don't know.
1499
01:10:11,020 --> 01:10:13,814
-You're lying.
-No, I'm... I'm... Honestly,
1500
01:10:13,898 --> 01:10:15,441
-I don't know.
-Okay.
1501
01:10:16,567 --> 01:10:18,110
-[grunts]
-[guests exclaiming]
1502
01:10:19,070 --> 01:10:20,112
God damn it!
1503
01:10:20,196 --> 01:10:21,489
-Would you stop doing that?
-[Caro] Yeah.
1504
01:10:21,572 --> 01:10:24,450
-He'll do it again.
-[Tom] Fine. Fine.
1505
01:10:24,533 --> 01:10:25,618
I was lying.
1506
01:10:25,701 --> 01:10:27,495
[guests agreeing]
1507
01:10:27,578 --> 01:10:30,706
After we cut ourselves loose,
Darcy and I got into a fight.
1508
01:10:30,790 --> 01:10:33,209
She hopped in a golf cart
to go look for cell reception
1509
01:10:33,292 --> 01:10:35,962
up by the northern coast
near the cliffs, and then I...
1510
01:10:36,045 --> 01:10:38,130
I came back here
to try to rescue everyone.
1511
01:10:38,673 --> 01:10:39,840
[Ricky] Come on!
1512
01:10:44,011 --> 01:10:45,221
Okay.
1513
01:10:45,304 --> 01:10:46,347
[sighs]
1514
01:10:46,847 --> 01:10:48,307
[pirate leader]
We'll take the chopper to find her.
1515
01:10:48,391 --> 01:10:49,809
I'm comin' with you.
1516
01:10:49,892 --> 01:10:51,936
I've been watching you
mess this up all day.
1517
01:10:52,019 --> 01:10:53,688
This is my show now.
1518
01:10:53,771 --> 01:10:55,147
[mouthing] Wow, that's really good.
1519
01:10:55,231 --> 01:10:56,983
We're doing this my way now. You got it?
1520
01:10:57,900 --> 01:10:58,985
We need collateral.
1521
01:11:00,778 --> 01:11:02,863
[unsettling music playing]
1522
01:11:09,537 --> 01:11:10,538
Get the girlfriend.
1523
01:11:10,621 --> 01:11:12,915
-[all clamoring]
-[pirate 1] Hey. Come.
1524
01:11:12,999 --> 01:11:14,959
-Here. Move!
-Ow! Hey.
1525
01:11:15,042 --> 01:11:16,585
Oh, no.
1526
01:11:16,669 --> 01:11:18,713
-[pirate 1] Go. Move!
-Please, I'm a Gemini.
1527
01:11:18,796 --> 01:11:20,506
I bruise easily.
1528
01:11:21,465 --> 01:11:22,800
-[pirate 1] Go!
-[Harriett] Ow! Ow! Ow!
1529
01:11:22,883 --> 01:11:24,677
-Oh, my God!
-[Sean] Robert? Robert!
1530
01:11:25,386 --> 01:11:27,638
When I get back,
that money better be in my account.
1531
01:11:27,722 --> 01:11:29,390
And if it's not, she's dead.
1532
01:11:29,473 --> 01:11:31,392
And I treated you just like a son.
1533
01:11:32,059 --> 01:11:33,978
-You're stuck with Tommy now.
-Robert.
1534
01:11:34,061 --> 01:11:36,272
-Well, what's wrong with that?
-Fuck off.
1535
01:11:36,355 --> 01:11:39,025
-[dramatic music playing]
-[imperceptible]
1536
01:11:46,073 --> 01:11:47,366
[soft thud]
1537
01:11:49,368 --> 01:11:50,578
[thud]
1538
01:11:52,955 --> 01:11:54,290
[pirates chattering]
1539
01:11:54,707 --> 01:11:56,917
[indistinct chatter]
1540
01:11:58,502 --> 01:12:00,421
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
1541
01:12:01,797 --> 01:12:03,632
-[cocks gun]
-[all exclaiming]
1542
01:12:04,467 --> 01:12:05,509
Darcy...
1543
01:12:05,593 --> 01:12:10,389
Tom, you promised you wouldn't
leave my side this weekend.
1544
01:12:10,473 --> 01:12:11,891
Darcy, what are you doing?
1545
01:12:12,308 --> 01:12:13,476
Tom, listen.
1546
01:12:13,976 --> 01:12:16,562
I'm still mad at you
for picking this pirate island,
1547
01:12:16,645 --> 01:12:19,231
but I messed up too.
I should've told you...
1548
01:12:20,524 --> 01:12:22,443
how scared I was to get married.
1549
01:12:23,194 --> 01:12:24,528
That wasn't fair.
1550
01:12:24,612 --> 01:12:26,447
You worked so hard
on this pirate island wedding.
1551
01:12:26,530 --> 01:12:28,532
Okay, no, no, no.
Please stop calling it that.
1552
01:12:28,616 --> 01:12:30,910
I just worried that if I told you...
1553
01:12:33,537 --> 01:12:34,955
that I would lose you.
1554
01:12:38,501 --> 01:12:40,628
And I can't lose you.
1555
01:12:43,214 --> 01:12:44,465
I need you.
1556
01:12:48,552 --> 01:12:49,762
Okay?
1557
01:12:53,432 --> 01:12:54,433
[shouts] Okay?
1558
01:12:54,517 --> 01:12:55,434
-[all clamor]
-Okay.
1559
01:12:55,518 --> 01:12:57,103
-Okay.
-[Tom] Okay.
1560
01:12:57,186 --> 01:12:59,230
This is so much better than South Pacific.
1561
01:12:59,313 --> 01:13:00,773
And Mom, Dad?
1562
01:13:01,315 --> 01:13:03,192
-[all exclaiming]
-[Jamie screams]
1563
01:13:03,275 --> 01:13:04,276
Whoa!
1564
01:13:04,360 --> 01:13:05,402
-[Ricky] Babe.
-What the fuck?
1565
01:13:05,486 --> 01:13:06,445
Did you just shoot me?
1566
01:13:06,821 --> 01:13:08,697
Stop shooting your sister!
1567
01:13:08,781 --> 01:13:11,117
I didn't mean to. It was a mistake. I...
1568
01:13:11,909 --> 01:13:13,410
[all gasp]
1569
01:13:14,662 --> 01:13:16,413
Mom, Dad, apologize to Tom.
1570
01:13:16,497 --> 01:13:18,040
-What? Why?
-What?
1571
01:13:18,124 --> 01:13:20,668
For criticizing this beautiful wedding
that he planned,
1572
01:13:20,751 --> 01:13:23,671
and for never making him
feel welcome in our family.
1573
01:13:23,754 --> 01:13:25,756
And for inviting Sean to our wedding.
1574
01:13:25,840 --> 01:13:27,633
Okay, honey, but I think there's
1575
01:13:27,716 --> 01:13:29,301
-a more pressing issue...
-Apologize!
1576
01:13:29,385 --> 01:13:31,428
-[all exclaiming]
-He is the best person
1577
01:13:31,512 --> 01:13:32,513
that I know.
1578
01:13:32,596 --> 01:13:34,598
And if you say one more bad thing
about him,
1579
01:13:34,682 --> 01:13:37,017
I swear I will shoot you
like I shot Jamie.
1580
01:13:38,727 --> 01:13:39,728
Tom, I'm sorry. Sorry.
1581
01:13:39,812 --> 01:13:41,021
-Tom, sorry. Sorry.
-We love you.
1582
01:13:41,105 --> 01:13:42,189
-Oh, hey, it's fine.
-You're the best person
1583
01:13:42,273 --> 01:13:43,524
-I've ever met.
-[Tom] It's okay. I love you.
1584
01:13:43,607 --> 01:13:44,859
-We love you like family.
-I love you, too.
1585
01:13:44,942 --> 01:13:46,777
-All right. It's all good.
-I love this place. Beautiful.
1586
01:13:46,861 --> 01:13:48,112
And, Carol, Larry...
1587
01:13:48,195 --> 01:13:49,488
-[all gasp]
-I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
1588
01:13:49,572 --> 01:13:53,409
This was more about me and my family,
but we should get lunch sometime.
1589
01:13:53,492 --> 01:13:54,493
-I would...
-Oh, yeah,
1590
01:13:54,577 --> 01:13:55,995
-lunch sounds great. Yeah.
-We love eating.
1591
01:13:56,078 --> 01:13:58,289
It's hard for anyone to live up
to your perfect marriage.
1592
01:13:58,372 --> 01:14:00,457
[chuckles] Who told you
we had a perfect marriage?
1593
01:14:00,541 --> 01:14:02,793
Oh, come on, Mom.
You guys fought, like, once.
1594
01:14:02,877 --> 01:14:04,170
It was about who loved the dog more.
1595
01:14:04,253 --> 01:14:06,380
I mean, what is not perfect
about your marriage?
1596
01:14:07,006 --> 01:14:10,009
Well, I made love to your Aunt Marie.
1597
01:14:10,092 --> 01:14:11,343
-[all exclaiming]
-[Ricky] What?
1598
01:14:11,427 --> 01:14:12,887
-[Larry] Yeah.
-[Carol] Then I went out
1599
01:14:12,970 --> 01:14:14,638
and started doing all this weird sex stuff
1600
01:14:14,722 --> 01:14:15,890
with Jim Roberts.
1601
01:14:15,973 --> 01:14:17,224
[Larry] Yeah. You and Jim Roberts
1602
01:14:17,308 --> 01:14:19,101
-went on for a couple months.
-[Carol] Yes.
1603
01:14:19,185 --> 01:14:21,729
-Because our bodies just fit.
-[man] Holy...
1604
01:14:21,812 --> 01:14:24,481
[Carol] In the end,
Jim Roberts just wasn't your dad.
1605
01:14:24,565 --> 01:14:26,817
And Aunt Marie realized
that she had a sex addiction.
1606
01:14:27,484 --> 01:14:30,237
But then you know what? We worked it out.
1607
01:14:33,199 --> 01:14:34,950
These are some incredible breakthroughs,
1608
01:14:35,034 --> 01:14:36,368
-right? I mean...
-[pirate 2] Give me that!
1609
01:14:36,452 --> 01:14:37,453
[all screaming]
1610
01:14:37,536 --> 01:14:38,829
You remember me, huh?
1611
01:14:38,913 --> 01:14:40,873
Look, you burn my face. Huh?
1612
01:14:40,956 --> 01:14:42,499
Yes, I know. I still feel
really bad about that.
1613
01:14:46,045 --> 01:14:48,005
Everybody, in the pool! Now!
1614
01:14:48,088 --> 01:14:50,299
-[fires gun]
-[all screaming]
1615
01:14:50,382 --> 01:14:52,134
Get in the pool! In!
1616
01:14:52,968 --> 01:14:54,428
Go! Go!
1617
01:14:54,970 --> 01:14:56,639
[Tom panting]
1618
01:14:57,598 --> 01:14:59,225
-Hey, you okay?
-Yes.
1619
01:14:59,308 --> 01:15:00,976
-Yeah?
-Are we missing people?
1620
01:15:01,477 --> 01:15:03,938
Yeah. Turns out
your boy Sean's an asshole.
1621
01:15:05,814 --> 01:15:06,857
We have the bride.
1622
01:15:06,941 --> 01:15:08,567
-[helicopter whirring]
-[on radio] Do you copy?
1623
01:15:09,902 --> 01:15:11,362
Do you copy?
1624
01:15:16,909 --> 01:15:18,327
Up! Up!
1625
01:15:18,410 --> 01:15:20,537
-[indistinct talking]
-Listen to me. Move.
1626
01:15:20,621 --> 01:15:23,499
Balinese? So these guys are Balinese?
1627
01:15:23,582 --> 01:15:26,418
And Sean is full of shit,
and they took Harriett hostage?
1628
01:15:26,502 --> 01:15:27,544
It doesn't make sense.
1629
01:15:27,628 --> 01:15:29,880
Why would Sean take Harriett hostage
on the helicopter
1630
01:15:29,964 --> 01:15:31,799
when she was already
being held hostage here?
1631
01:15:31,882 --> 01:15:34,426
I don't know. Maybe he wanted
to take her extra hostage.
1632
01:15:34,510 --> 01:15:36,387
[Larry] I think Harriett is in on it.
1633
01:15:36,845 --> 01:15:39,431
-[Tom] What?
-[Darcy] What do you mean?
1634
01:15:45,020 --> 01:15:46,939
Harriett and Sean...
1635
01:15:47,982 --> 01:15:49,275
are boyfriend-girlfriend.
1636
01:15:49,358 --> 01:15:50,818
-Oh, come on.
-Boyfriend-girlfriend?
1637
01:15:50,901 --> 01:15:52,278
[Larry] No, no. Look.
1638
01:15:52,945 --> 01:15:54,655
This is from last night.
1639
01:15:54,738 --> 01:15:56,657
Here we go. [grunts]
1640
01:15:56,740 --> 01:15:58,075
[Latin dance music playing]
1641
01:15:58,158 --> 01:15:59,785
Let's see.
1642
01:15:59,868 --> 01:16:02,705
Uh, hold on. Let me find it.
1643
01:16:03,706 --> 01:16:05,457
Oh. Oh, boy.
1644
01:16:05,541 --> 01:16:07,126
Yeah. There you go.
1645
01:16:08,294 --> 01:16:10,004
[all exclaim]
1646
01:16:15,718 --> 01:16:17,761
What? Go ahead. Say it.
1647
01:16:17,845 --> 01:16:18,929
Roberto...
1648
01:16:22,850 --> 01:16:24,560
Lo siento.
1649
01:16:27,062 --> 01:16:28,314
Gracias.
1650
01:16:29,606 --> 01:16:30,941
De nada.
1651
01:16:32,443 --> 01:16:34,820
[dramatic music playing]
1652
01:16:34,903 --> 01:16:36,071
[pirate leader] There!
1653
01:16:42,202 --> 01:16:45,497
Sean, you promised
this job would make us rich.
1654
01:16:45,581 --> 01:16:47,791
So far, all it's done
is killed four of my men.
1655
01:16:47,875 --> 01:16:49,293
Man, you know we can fix this.
1656
01:16:49,376 --> 01:16:51,962
Deal is off. I keep the money.
1657
01:16:52,046 --> 01:16:54,173
You walk away with your life.
1658
01:16:54,256 --> 01:16:56,800
I don't wanna hear it.
You and I had an arrangement.
1659
01:16:56,884 --> 01:16:59,261
Sean, be reasonable. He saved us.
1660
01:16:59,345 --> 01:17:01,221
-We're lucky to be alive.
-What are you talking about?
1661
01:17:01,305 --> 01:17:03,557
Listen to your woman.
1662
01:17:03,640 --> 01:17:05,059
-[yelps]
-Oh.
1663
01:17:05,142 --> 01:17:07,770
It's okay. It's just a pressure point.
Relax.
1664
01:17:08,312 --> 01:17:10,022
Just breathe into it.
1665
01:17:10,773 --> 01:17:11,899
What?
1666
01:17:13,525 --> 01:17:14,610
What?
1667
01:17:15,110 --> 01:17:16,528
Take us back down.
1668
01:17:16,612 --> 01:17:18,822
We'll finish the job ourselves.
1669
01:17:18,906 --> 01:17:20,449
-Babe.
-What?
1670
01:17:21,658 --> 01:17:23,911
-Excellent idea.
-Yeah, I know.
1671
01:17:23,994 --> 01:17:26,538
[screams] I have to do everything myself!
1672
01:17:29,333 --> 01:17:31,543
What are we gonna do?
They'll be back any minute.
1673
01:17:31,627 --> 01:17:33,545
-Just...
-[pirate 2] Hey, hey, hey!
1674
01:17:34,213 --> 01:17:36,882
No whispers.
Or I throw grenade in the pool.
1675
01:17:42,971 --> 01:17:43,972
[whispering] Okay.
1676
01:17:44,681 --> 01:17:47,017
Go with me, okay?
1677
01:17:47,101 --> 01:17:48,310
Just go with me.
1678
01:17:49,019 --> 01:17:50,354
[in normal tone] Hey, everybody.
1679
01:17:51,563 --> 01:17:53,649
Look, I know this may
not be the best time,
1680
01:17:54,858 --> 01:17:57,236
but this may be our only chance
to have our wedding.
1681
01:17:59,029 --> 01:18:00,239
What do you say, Darcy?
1682
01:18:01,448 --> 01:18:02,950
Yeah, I... I love it.
1683
01:18:03,033 --> 01:18:06,495
Can... Can we do bride's side on the left
and groom's on the right?
1684
01:18:10,124 --> 01:18:11,500
[all agreeing]
1685
01:18:11,583 --> 01:18:13,085
Hey, Margy, will you officiate?
1686
01:18:14,044 --> 01:18:16,338
[pirate 2] Hey, will you stop?
Stop it! Stop it now!
1687
01:18:16,422 --> 01:18:17,798
[Robert] Wait, wait. If...
1688
01:18:17,881 --> 01:18:21,218
If you let my daughter have her wedding,
I'll... I'll release the funds.
1689
01:18:28,225 --> 01:18:29,601
Okay, let's go.
1690
01:18:36,817 --> 01:18:38,068
Let's go.
1691
01:18:38,861 --> 01:18:40,070
Thanks, Dad.
1692
01:18:40,571 --> 01:18:41,738
It's okay, princess.
1693
01:18:41,822 --> 01:18:43,615
There are some things
that are more important than money.
1694
01:18:44,741 --> 01:18:46,994
I don't know what they are,
but I think, uh...
1695
01:18:59,006 --> 01:19:00,007
[Darcy sighs]
1696
01:19:00,090 --> 01:19:01,675
Hope you know what you're doing.
1697
01:19:07,890 --> 01:19:10,017
[Carol hums]
1698
01:19:15,147 --> 01:19:17,691
♪ The strands in your eyes ♪
1699
01:19:17,774 --> 01:19:20,611
♪ They color them wonderful ♪
1700
01:19:20,694 --> 01:19:24,907
♪ Stops me
And steals my breath ♪
1701
01:19:25,574 --> 01:19:27,993
[both]
♪ Emeralds from mountains ♪
1702
01:19:28,243 --> 01:19:30,662
♪ Thrust from the sky ♪
1703
01:19:30,746 --> 01:19:34,750
♪ Never revealing their depth ♪
1704
01:19:35,334 --> 01:19:37,169
♪ And tell me ♪
1705
01:19:37,669 --> 01:19:40,506
♪ We belong together ♪
1706
01:19:40,589 --> 01:19:45,010
♪ Dress it up with the trappings of love ♪
1707
01:19:45,093 --> 01:19:47,596
♪ I'll be captivated ♪
1708
01:19:47,679 --> 01:19:50,307
♪ I'll hang from your lips ♪
1709
01:19:50,390 --> 01:19:52,601
♪ Instead of the gallows ♪
1710
01:19:52,684 --> 01:19:58,106
♪ Of heartaches
That hang from above ♪
1711
01:19:58,190 --> 01:20:03,695
♪ And I'll be your cryin' shoulder ♪
1712
01:20:03,779 --> 01:20:08,242
♪ I'll be love's suicide ♪
1713
01:20:08,325 --> 01:20:14,081
♪ And I'll be better
When I'm older ♪
1714
01:20:14,164 --> 01:20:19,044
♪ I'll be the greatest fan of your life ♪
1715
01:20:19,127 --> 01:20:24,258
♪ And I'll be your cryin' shoulder ♪
1716
01:20:24,341 --> 01:20:29,054
♪ I'll be love's suicide ♪
1717
01:20:29,137 --> 01:20:31,974
-♪ And I'll be ♪
-[Renata] ♪ I'll be ♪
1718
01:20:32,057 --> 01:20:34,518
♪ Better when I'm older ♪
1719
01:20:34,601 --> 01:20:39,982
♪ I'll be the greatest fan of your life ♪
1720
01:20:40,065 --> 01:20:41,191
♪ I'll be ♪
1721
01:20:41,275 --> 01:20:42,901
[clamoring]
1722
01:20:43,443 --> 01:20:45,112
[Carol screaming]
1723
01:20:45,862 --> 01:20:48,115
-Whoa, whoa, whoa.
-[cocks gun]
1724
01:20:48,198 --> 01:20:49,658
I think you'd regret that.
1725
01:20:51,451 --> 01:20:53,036
[all gasp]
1726
01:20:53,996 --> 01:20:55,622
[pirate 2] Oh! No, no. Stop.
1727
01:20:55,706 --> 01:20:56,790
I'm fairly new to grenades.
1728
01:20:56,873 --> 01:21:00,752
But I'm pretty sure that if you shoot me,
this springy thing pops off,
1729
01:21:00,836 --> 01:21:02,713
and then this thing blows us all away.
1730
01:21:02,796 --> 01:21:04,047
-Ain't that right, babe?
-That's right, baby.
1731
01:21:04,131 --> 01:21:06,258
-[pirate 2] No, no, no.
-[woman] What the...
1732
01:21:06,758 --> 01:21:07,843
Drop the guns.
1733
01:21:10,345 --> 01:21:11,847
-[pirate 2] No.
-[grunts]
1734
01:21:11,930 --> 01:21:14,057
[all screaming and clamoring]
1735
01:21:22,816 --> 01:21:23,942
[muffled screaming]
1736
01:21:24,026 --> 01:21:25,485
I can't throw that far.
It won't reach him.
1737
01:21:27,404 --> 01:21:28,488
[cocks gun]
1738
01:21:28,572 --> 01:21:30,657
Nobody fucks with my family.
1739
01:21:30,741 --> 01:21:33,118
[rock music playing]
1740
01:21:43,337 --> 01:21:45,422
Darcy? Give me a meatball.
1741
01:21:45,714 --> 01:21:46,882
-[gun clicks]
-Shit.
1742
01:21:50,052 --> 01:21:51,678
[all exclaim]
1743
01:21:53,597 --> 01:21:55,557
[all exclaiming]
1744
01:21:55,641 --> 01:21:57,684
[fireworks whistling]
1745
01:22:02,939 --> 01:22:04,274
I know where to go!
1746
01:22:04,358 --> 01:22:06,234
Let's get moving! Out of the pool!
1747
01:22:06,318 --> 01:22:07,611
-[Tom] Yeah!
-Come on! Come, come, come!
1748
01:22:07,694 --> 01:22:09,071
[Darcy] Get out of the pool! Come on!
1749
01:22:11,615 --> 01:22:14,034
-[Tom] Yeah, let's go.
-[Ace] Margy! The spa!
1750
01:22:14,117 --> 01:22:15,577
[Darcy] It's safe in the spa!
1751
01:22:15,661 --> 01:22:17,871
[Harriett] They should've been
killing hostages every hour.
1752
01:22:17,954 --> 01:22:20,374
Killing people works, Sean.
1753
01:22:20,457 --> 01:22:22,000
-Fuck.
-Look, give me one chance
1754
01:22:22,084 --> 01:22:23,085
to convince Darcy.
1755
01:22:23,168 --> 01:22:25,587
-All right? One.
-Fine. One chance.
1756
01:22:27,339 --> 01:22:28,882
Thank you, baby.
1757
01:22:29,883 --> 01:22:32,094
This is not a moment right now, Sean.
1758
01:22:34,054 --> 01:22:36,181
-Move, come on! Come on!
-[pirate] All right!
1759
01:22:37,391 --> 01:22:40,310
Mom! Mom, we're gonna go get help.
1760
01:22:40,394 --> 01:22:42,396
I need you to take care of them.
Can you do that?
1761
01:22:45,148 --> 01:22:46,483
And Carol...
1762
01:22:47,734 --> 01:22:49,444
thank you for the cake knife.
1763
01:22:50,737 --> 01:22:52,531
I fucking love this cake knife.
1764
01:22:52,614 --> 01:22:54,324
[Carol chuckles]
1765
01:22:59,287 --> 01:23:01,748
["No ordinary" by Labrinth playing]
1766
01:23:04,209 --> 01:23:06,545
It's just you and me now. Let's go.
1767
01:23:08,004 --> 01:23:09,256
♪ Yeah ♪
1768
01:23:10,757 --> 01:23:17,723
♪ Yeah, me in awe of you now ♪
1769
01:23:19,349 --> 01:23:20,684
♪ Hmm ♪
1770
01:23:22,102 --> 01:23:24,980
-♪ This song call ♪
-♪ Unconditional ♪
1771
01:23:25,063 --> 01:23:28,567
-♪ This show no devotion ♪
-♪ Devotion ♪
1772
01:23:28,650 --> 01:23:31,486
♪ Got my heart so wide open ♪
1773
01:23:31,570 --> 01:23:33,321
♪ Lifting my spirit
Like a Holy Ghost ♪
1774
01:23:33,405 --> 01:23:36,199
-♪ All this ♪
-♪ All this love, love ♪
1775
01:23:36,283 --> 01:23:40,203
-♪ No ordinary love ♪
-♪ Ordinary love ♪
1776
01:23:41,830 --> 01:23:43,415
♪ Yeah ♪
1777
01:23:45,417 --> 01:23:46,835
♪ La, la, la, la
La-la-la-la ♪
1778
01:23:46,918 --> 01:23:48,044
[phone camera clicks]
1779
01:23:48,128 --> 01:23:50,922
♪ Ah, la, la, la, la
La-la-la-la ♪
1780
01:23:51,006 --> 01:23:53,049
♪ La, la, la, la
La-la-la-la ♪
1781
01:23:53,133 --> 01:23:56,511
♪ La, la, la, la
La-la-la-la-love ♪
1782
01:23:56,595 --> 01:23:59,014
♪ La-la, la-la, la-la, la-la ♪
1783
01:23:59,097 --> 01:24:02,058
♪ La, la, la, la
La-la-la-la ♪
1784
01:24:03,351 --> 01:24:05,312
[imperceptible]
1785
01:24:17,449 --> 01:24:20,327
♪ I need you in my arm ♪
1786
01:24:20,660 --> 01:24:22,078
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
1787
01:24:24,164 --> 01:24:25,290
♪ Hey ♪
1788
01:24:30,045 --> 01:24:36,718
♪ All this no ordinary love ♪
1789
01:24:36,802 --> 01:24:38,470
♪ Love, love, love, love ♪
1790
01:24:38,553 --> 01:24:39,805
♪ Yeah ♪
1791
01:24:43,183 --> 01:24:44,976
[Tom] Hey, wasn't this
the plan with too many steps?
1792
01:24:54,945 --> 01:24:56,279
You did this for me?
1793
01:24:57,781 --> 01:24:59,115
[Tom] Is this what you wanted?
1794
01:24:59,199 --> 01:25:00,784
Just you and me
in the middle of the ocean?
1795
01:25:03,620 --> 01:25:06,081
Darcy, I'm sorry
I stopped listening to you.
1796
01:25:06,164 --> 01:25:08,291
I just thought that
if I planned the perfect wedding,
1797
01:25:08,375 --> 01:25:10,293
we could have the perfect marriage, but...
1798
01:25:11,086 --> 01:25:12,462
But that doesn't exist.
1799
01:25:13,088 --> 01:25:14,756
I mean, look at my parents.
1800
01:25:14,840 --> 01:25:17,008
My Aunt Marie, the sex addict.
1801
01:25:18,385 --> 01:25:21,638
I just wanna be with you.
All that matters is you.
1802
01:25:22,389 --> 01:25:23,807
We don't ever have to get married.
1803
01:25:25,517 --> 01:25:27,435
And if we survive this thing,
can we just...
1804
01:25:28,979 --> 01:25:30,230
Can we start over?
1805
01:25:32,524 --> 01:25:33,900
-[gunshots]
-[Darcy screams]
1806
01:25:36,194 --> 01:25:37,529
[Tom] Go, go, go, go.
1807
01:25:37,946 --> 01:25:39,781
[Sean] Deedee, listen to me!
1808
01:25:40,448 --> 01:25:43,285
Deedee, this is
a huge misunderstanding, all right?
1809
01:25:43,368 --> 01:25:47,789
Let's go back to the resort,
talk this over. I do not want to hurt you.
1810
01:25:47,873 --> 01:25:49,416
Then stop shooting at us, asshole!
1811
01:25:49,499 --> 01:25:51,418
And stop calling her Deedee!
1812
01:25:51,501 --> 01:25:53,086
-[Darcy] Fuck!
-Oh, Jesus!
1813
01:25:54,296 --> 01:25:55,755
This thing is awful!
1814
01:25:56,381 --> 01:25:57,924
[screaming] Yeah!
1815
01:25:58,258 --> 01:26:00,927
Asshole! Fuckin' leave! What the fuck?
1816
01:26:02,512 --> 01:26:05,557
God, I can't believe you, Sean!
When did you turn into such a monster?
1817
01:26:06,182 --> 01:26:07,642
[Sean] I am not a monster!
1818
01:26:07,726 --> 01:26:09,102
I'm an entrepreneur!
1819
01:26:09,185 --> 01:26:10,645
I think I'm out of ammo.
1820
01:26:10,729 --> 01:26:12,105
-Are you sure?
-Not at all.
1821
01:26:12,564 --> 01:26:13,648
Hey.
1822
01:26:18,778 --> 01:26:19,905
-Yeah.
-[Sean] I don't wanna do this.
1823
01:26:19,988 --> 01:26:21,323
-[gunshot]
-I'm a good guy, damn it!
1824
01:26:21,406 --> 01:26:22,908
[gunshots]
1825
01:26:22,991 --> 01:26:24,409
-[gun clicking]
-Shit.
1826
01:26:24,993 --> 01:26:26,411
[Sean] Your boat's dead.
1827
01:26:26,494 --> 01:26:29,956
We're both out of ammo. Let's just go back
and we can work this whole thing out.
1828
01:26:30,040 --> 01:26:31,416
[breathing heavily]
1829
01:26:34,544 --> 01:26:35,587
[grunts]
1830
01:26:35,670 --> 01:26:37,380
[both grunting]
1831
01:26:37,964 --> 01:26:39,716
[engine starts]
1832
01:26:39,799 --> 01:26:41,009
[Darcy] Tom!
1833
01:26:41,092 --> 01:26:42,302
[Tom grunts]
1834
01:26:44,471 --> 01:26:45,555
[Tom] Go, go!
1835
01:26:47,098 --> 01:26:49,184
[tense music playing]
1836
01:26:52,520 --> 01:26:53,563
[Sean yells]
1837
01:26:56,441 --> 01:26:58,485
[helicopter whirring]
1838
01:26:59,653 --> 01:27:01,655
[intense music playing]
1839
01:27:21,549 --> 01:27:23,343
Darcy, turn this boat around right now.
1840
01:27:24,761 --> 01:27:25,762
[Darcy] No.
1841
01:27:28,473 --> 01:27:31,142
You're a piece of shit, Sean,
but I know you can't kill me.
1842
01:27:31,226 --> 01:27:32,227
You're right.
1843
01:27:32,769 --> 01:27:34,646
But I would love to kill this guy.
1844
01:27:35,146 --> 01:27:37,857
You just keep messing things up, man.
This is on you.
1845
01:27:37,941 --> 01:27:40,902
I don't wanna do this. I'm a good guy.
1846
01:27:41,987 --> 01:27:43,321
No, you're not.
1847
01:27:44,114 --> 01:27:46,199
All right, you're right. I'm not.
1848
01:27:46,700 --> 01:27:47,826
[Darcy shrieks]
1849
01:27:47,909 --> 01:27:49,077
[Tom gasps]
1850
01:27:49,536 --> 01:27:50,912
-[engine revs]
-[Sean screams]
1851
01:27:50,996 --> 01:27:53,081
[music continues]
1852
01:27:54,040 --> 01:27:55,583
[both grunting]
1853
01:27:58,086 --> 01:27:58,920
[whimpers]
1854
01:28:01,006 --> 01:28:02,173
Sean!
1855
01:28:05,010 --> 01:28:06,469
[grunting continues]
1856
01:28:08,304 --> 01:28:10,056
You were a pity invite!
1857
01:28:10,140 --> 01:28:11,474
-[Darcy grunts]
-Shit!
1858
01:28:11,558 --> 01:28:13,309
Whoa! Whoa!
1859
01:28:19,607 --> 01:28:21,401
No! Fuck!
1860
01:28:21,484 --> 01:28:22,902
[groans]
1861
01:28:22,986 --> 01:28:24,696
[Sean and Tom grunting]
1862
01:28:28,074 --> 01:28:29,117
[Tom screams]
1863
01:28:33,913 --> 01:28:34,956
[yelps]
1864
01:28:40,211 --> 01:28:41,212
-[gunshot]
-[yelps]
1865
01:28:46,760 --> 01:28:48,595
Is that a wad of loose hair?
1866
01:28:48,678 --> 01:28:50,180
[Tom] Custom-made hair!
1867
01:28:50,263 --> 01:28:51,848
[Tom grunts]
1868
01:28:51,931 --> 01:28:53,892
[heroic music playing]
1869
01:28:55,685 --> 01:28:56,936
[gasps]
1870
01:29:03,943 --> 01:29:05,028
[Tom laughs]
1871
01:29:06,321 --> 01:29:08,073
[intense music playing]
1872
01:29:08,156 --> 01:29:09,115
-Get down!
-[screams]
1873
01:29:14,245 --> 01:29:15,413
Oh, frick.
1874
01:29:15,997 --> 01:29:17,373
[Sean screams]
1875
01:29:23,880 --> 01:29:24,881
[Tom] Hold on.
1876
01:29:30,720 --> 01:29:32,555
Oh, shit.
1877
01:29:34,808 --> 01:29:36,017
[Darcy shrieks]
1878
01:29:36,810 --> 01:29:38,394
[engine whines]
1879
01:29:44,692 --> 01:29:45,902
[Darcy gasps]
1880
01:29:47,445 --> 01:29:48,822
Holy shit.
1881
01:29:54,369 --> 01:29:56,788
["No ordinary" by Labrinth playing]
1882
01:30:23,022 --> 01:30:24,732
So when I asked you before
1883
01:30:26,317 --> 01:30:27,527
if we could start over...
1884
01:30:30,363 --> 01:30:31,906
I don't wanna start over.
1885
01:30:43,251 --> 01:30:44,836
I wanna keep going.
1886
01:30:45,670 --> 01:30:47,672
[tender music playing]
1887
01:30:59,309 --> 01:31:00,768
Tom Fowler,
1888
01:31:01,811 --> 01:31:03,271
will you marry me?
1889
01:31:09,819 --> 01:31:11,029
Are you sure?
1890
01:31:12,947 --> 01:31:14,073
You're not scared?
1891
01:31:16,034 --> 01:31:17,911
I'm terrified. [breath trembling]
1892
01:31:19,162 --> 01:31:21,998
Life is always gonna be chaotic.
1893
01:31:23,958 --> 01:31:25,710
But what I know for sure...
1894
01:31:27,503 --> 01:31:30,173
is that I wanna go through
all of it with you.
1895
01:31:32,926 --> 01:31:34,969
It's simple, really. [sniffles]
1896
01:31:37,096 --> 01:31:38,723
Just a plan with one step.
1897
01:31:48,483 --> 01:31:49,567
Still fits.
1898
01:31:55,907 --> 01:31:58,117
[sentimental music playing]
1899
01:32:09,671 --> 01:32:11,464
[Jamie softly] Stop. Be quiet.
1900
01:32:31,317 --> 01:32:32,944
[cheering and applauding]
1901
01:32:33,486 --> 01:32:35,822
-[firework exploding]
-[all screaming]
1902
01:32:35,905 --> 01:32:38,116
Shit! Sorry! Sorry!
1903
01:32:38,199 --> 01:32:39,867
There was one firework left
1904
01:32:39,951 --> 01:32:41,995
and I thought it would be fun,
and beautiful, and poignant,
1905
01:32:42,078 --> 01:32:43,705
-but it was absolutely not!
-[laughing]
1906
01:32:43,788 --> 01:32:45,123
-[Margy laughs]
-Come here.
1907
01:32:46,249 --> 01:32:48,626
[intro to "Walk Like An Egyptian" playing]
1908
01:32:54,173 --> 01:32:55,925
[fast-forwarding]
1909
01:32:59,971 --> 01:33:02,432
{\an8}♪ All the old paintings
On the tomb ♪
1910
01:33:02,515 --> 01:33:04,684
{\an8}♪ They do the sand dance,
Don't you know ♪
1911
01:33:04,767 --> 01:33:06,144
{\an8}♪ If you move too fast ♪
1912
01:33:06,227 --> 01:33:07,228
{\an8}[all] ♪ Oh-way-oh ♪
1913
01:33:07,312 --> 01:33:09,314
{\an8}♪ They're falling down
Like a domino ♪
1914
01:33:09,397 --> 01:33:11,649
{\an8}♪ All the bazaar men
By the Nile ♪
1915
01:33:11,733 --> 01:33:13,901
{\an8}♪ They got the money
On a bet ♪
1916
01:33:13,985 --> 01:33:15,278
{\an8}♪ Gold crocodiles ♪
1917
01:33:15,361 --> 01:33:16,404
{\an8}[all] ♪ Oh-way-oh ♪
1918
01:33:16,487 --> 01:33:18,239
{\an8}♪ They snap their teeth
On your cigarette ♪
1919
01:33:18,323 --> 01:33:20,241
{\an8}♪ Foreign types
With the hookah pipes say ♪
1920
01:33:20,325 --> 01:33:23,077
{\an8}[all] ♪ Way-oh-way-oh ♪
1921
01:33:23,161 --> 01:33:26,998
{\an8}♪ Way-oh-way-oh ♪
1922
01:33:27,415 --> 01:33:30,793
{\an8}♪ Walk like an Egyptian ♪
1923
01:33:30,877 --> 01:33:32,795
{\an8}[all cheering]
1924
01:33:41,095 --> 01:33:43,598
♪ The blonde waitresses
Take their trays ♪
1925
01:33:43,681 --> 01:33:45,683
♪ They spin around
And they cross the floor ♪
1926
01:33:45,767 --> 01:33:46,934
{\an8}♪ They've got the moves ♪
1927
01:33:47,018 --> 01:33:48,978
{\an8}[all] ♪ Oh-way-oh ♪
1928
01:33:50,396 --> 01:33:52,774
{\an8}♪ All the school kids
So sick of books ♪
1929
01:33:52,857 --> 01:33:54,984
{\an8}♪ They like the punk
And the metal band ♪
1930
01:33:55,068 --> 01:33:57,320
♪ I do not know what to do ♪
1931
01:33:57,403 --> 01:33:59,405
♪ I drank so much
Oh, my God, I'm sick ♪
1932
01:33:59,489 --> 01:34:01,616
{\an8}♪ All the kids
In the marketplace say ♪
1933
01:34:01,699 --> 01:34:04,243
{\an8}[all] ♪ Way-oh-way-oh ♪
1934
01:34:04,327 --> 01:34:07,789
♪ Way-oh-way-oh ♪
1935
01:34:08,623 --> 01:34:11,125
{\an8}♪ Walk like an Egyptian ♪
1936
01:34:11,209 --> 01:34:13,252
{\an8}[all cheering]
1937
01:34:13,336 --> 01:34:15,797
♪ I'm down
For the way he feels ♪
1938
01:34:17,590 --> 01:34:19,675
{\an8}[instrumental break]
1939
01:34:24,430 --> 01:34:25,973
{\an8}Whoo!
1940
01:34:54,502 --> 01:34:56,754
{\an8}[whistling verse tune]
1941
01:35:02,552 --> 01:35:03,594
{\an8}Make sure the batteries work.
1942
01:35:06,639 --> 01:35:10,560
{\an8}I'm so sorry that I invited two con men
to your wedding.
1943
01:35:11,144 --> 01:35:15,022
{\an8}And I don't know
if I'm attracted to toxic people,
1944
01:35:15,106 --> 01:35:17,150
{\an8}or toxic people are attracted to me.
1945
01:35:18,067 --> 01:35:19,861
-[song ends]
-[all cheering]
1946
01:35:28,327 --> 01:35:30,329
[instrumental music playing]
132950
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