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Frank! Frank,
come on, man! We got to go!
4
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- We got to go!
- Oh, what?
5
00:00:12,468 --> 00:00:13,605
Come on, man, we're gonna miss it.
6
00:00:13,616 --> 00:00:15,062
- Wake up, wake up. Come on.
- Wh-What?
7
00:00:15,073 --> 00:00:16,109
- Right away!
- Okay.
8
00:00:16,142 --> 00:00:19,265
Guys, make way. Make way, please.
9
00:00:19,276 --> 00:00:21,412
- Hey, wait, no, no, please.
- Cutting it pretty close there, pal.
10
00:00:21,423 --> 00:00:22,739
Ah, I feel like I got to take a shit.
11
00:00:22,750 --> 00:00:24,273
No, no, no, no, no.
There's no time for that.
12
00:00:24,284 --> 00:00:26,083
- Oh, God, excuse me. Come on.
- No, no, no, no, no autographs.
13
00:00:26,094 --> 00:00:27,688
- I'm not ready for this.
- Listen, listen.
14
00:00:27,699 --> 00:00:29,117
- You got it, you got it, you got it.
- Listen to me.
15
00:00:29,128 --> 00:00:31,074
- Back off, back off.
- Frank, you are ready.
16
00:00:31,085 --> 00:00:34,647
Everything you need
is already inside you.
17
00:00:34,658 --> 00:00:37,173
Move. No, out of the way.
18
00:00:46,978 --> 00:00:50,044
_
19
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- Synced and corrected by naFraC -
- www.addic7ed.com -
20
00:01:10,211 --> 00:01:11,727
- Dennis, please. Just...
- God, no.
21
00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:13,613
Please, please. Pretty
please, just help me.
22
00:01:13,624 --> 00:01:15,160
No! No, Mac.
23
00:01:15,171 --> 00:01:16,688
I'm not helping you, okay?
24
00:01:16,699 --> 00:01:18,236
Stop talking to me about Johnny.
25
00:01:18,247 --> 00:01:20,918
Well, hey, I could help
you with your guy troubles.
26
00:01:22,028 --> 00:01:23,758
No, thanks, Dee. You suck with men.
27
00:01:23,769 --> 00:01:26,407
Tell that to the guy leaving
my apartment this morning.
28
00:01:26,464 --> 00:01:29,904
That's right. Your girl got
her guts pumped last night.
29
00:01:29,937 --> 00:01:31,597
Oh, my God, that is disgusting.
30
00:01:31,608 --> 00:01:33,812
- Your guts pumped?
- Aren't you, like, 60?
31
00:01:33,823 --> 00:01:35,950
- You're not a girl.
- Yeah, come on, Dee. This is insane.
32
00:01:35,960 --> 00:01:37,532
- I mean... really.
- Who talks like that?
33
00:01:37,543 --> 00:01:40,484
And, by the way, anybody can
get a guy to bang them once.
34
00:01:40,495 --> 00:01:42,465
Okay, well, I guarantee you
35
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he'll be coming back for seconds.
36
00:01:44,324 --> 00:01:47,297
In fact, he pulled an old move of mine.
37
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He took my phone "by mistake"
38
00:01:49,391 --> 00:01:50,712
so that he could see me again.
39
00:01:50,723 --> 00:01:53,222
Oh, okay. Yeah.
40
00:01:53,233 --> 00:01:54,873
- Mm-hmm.
- How's he gonna call you?
41
00:01:58,098 --> 00:01:59,741
- Dennis, can you help me get my phone...
- No.
42
00:01:59,752 --> 00:02:02,012
- Dennis, Dennis, I need your help really quick, man.
- No!
43
00:02:02,023 --> 00:02:03,884
Do you remember when we stole a
restaurant buzzer the other day?
44
00:02:03,895 --> 00:02:06,577
I can't find it anywhere. It's a
matter of national security here, man.
45
00:02:06,587 --> 00:02:08,216
Oh, yes, no, no, I'm sure, yeah.
46
00:02:08,227 --> 00:02:09,576
You know what? Maybe it's in
the back office. Let me check
47
00:02:09,587 --> 00:02:11,033
the back office. Frank, let
me check the back office.
48
00:02:11,044 --> 00:02:12,790
Hey, uh, Frank, could you
help me with something?
49
00:02:12,801 --> 00:02:13,857
- Yeah.
- Are you kidding?
50
00:02:13,868 --> 00:02:15,514
You want Frank's help
with your guy troubles?
51
00:02:15,525 --> 00:02:16,998
He's insanely homophobic.
52
00:02:18,058 --> 00:02:19,412
Huh? Not anymore.
53
00:02:19,437 --> 00:02:21,743
No, once Mac did the dance,
54
00:02:21,952 --> 00:02:23,410
then I get it. I get the gay thing.
55
00:02:23,421 --> 00:02:24,651
He gets it. He's an ally now.
56
00:02:24,662 --> 00:02:26,483
Okay, so, Frank, I need
some relationship advice.
57
00:02:26,494 --> 00:02:27,797
- Yeah.
- I'm having some issues
58
00:02:27,831 --> 00:02:29,189
- with this guy that I'm dating.
- Yeah.
59
00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:30,753
- I want to take it to the next level, you know,
- Right.
60
00:02:30,764 --> 00:02:32,978
by actually meeting this guy.
61
00:02:32,989 --> 00:02:34,191
What, you've never met the guy?
62
00:02:34,202 --> 00:02:36,972
No, never met him,
never spoken with him, never seen him,
63
00:02:36,982 --> 00:02:39,635
but it's not weird because
we're in constant communication
64
00:02:39,646 --> 00:02:40,682
through the beads.
65
00:02:42,137 --> 00:02:44,898
- The beads?
- Oh, yes. The extra-large anal beads
66
00:02:44,909 --> 00:02:46,479
that I shoved up my butt,
67
00:02:46,490 --> 00:02:48,151
and Johnny can control them
68
00:02:48,162 --> 00:02:50,038
via an app on his phone.
69
00:02:50,049 --> 00:02:51,401
And when I feel the buzz,
70
00:02:51,412 --> 00:02:53,059
I know it's time to go to the motel
71
00:02:53,070 --> 00:02:55,107
and wait. It's very romantic.
72
00:02:55,118 --> 00:02:58,358
Uh, yes, he's never
actually showed up before,
73
00:02:58,369 --> 00:03:01,777
but one day he will,
and it's going to be hot.
74
00:03:02,135 --> 00:03:04,270
That's it. I'm out.
75
00:03:04,376 --> 00:03:07,866
I'm out. That's it. I don't
get it. I am never gonna get it.
76
00:03:07,877 --> 00:03:10,400
- Beads? You never said anything about beads.
- Let me-let me explain it again.
77
00:03:10,411 --> 00:03:12,201
- What beads?
- It's beads that go into my ass.
78
00:03:12,212 --> 00:03:14,624
The dance never said
anything about no beads.
79
00:03:14,635 --> 00:03:16,065
Frank, I found it. I
found it. I found it.
80
00:03:16,076 --> 00:03:18,145
Let's get the hell out of here.
81
00:03:18,156 --> 00:03:19,282
We got it, guys, we're good.
82
00:03:19,293 --> 00:03:20,591
Anal beads up his ass.
83
00:03:20,602 --> 00:03:22,113
Dennis, can you please
help me get my phone back?
84
00:03:22,124 --> 00:03:24,393
- 'Cause I need my phone.
- No, Dennis, help me, though. Help me because
85
00:03:24,404 --> 00:03:25,880
- I need help...
- No, you are beyond help, okay?
86
00:03:25,891 --> 00:03:29,129
- You let a stranger hack your butthole. Dennis...
- Enough! Enough.
87
00:03:30,134 --> 00:03:32,749
It is clear that I'm not going
to get a moment's peace until
88
00:03:32,760 --> 00:03:34,563
I foist you two off on someone else,
89
00:03:34,574 --> 00:03:35,937
so, fine, I will help you.
90
00:03:35,948 --> 00:03:38,723
- Okay. Okay.
- Oh, yeah! All right, all right, let's go.
91
00:03:40,789 --> 00:03:42,518
This is all I could find.
92
00:03:42,529 --> 00:03:44,463
Yeah, no, this is good. Um...
93
00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:47,052
Okay, are there, like, a pair
of, like, weird spy glasses
94
00:03:47,063 --> 00:03:48,195
in here or anything?
95
00:03:48,206 --> 00:03:51,232
- Aw, shit.
- They dropped all those charges weeks ago. Wh...
96
00:03:51,243 --> 00:03:52,683
Call you back.
97
00:03:52,694 --> 00:03:55,363
Hey, what are you guys doing
with all my research equipment?
98
00:03:55,374 --> 00:03:57,364
Charlie and Frank are gonna play spies.
99
00:03:57,375 --> 00:03:59,674
Yeah, well, we're not playing spies,
we're playing chess, okay?
100
00:03:59,685 --> 00:04:01,332
There's a Russian
grandmaster coming to town.
101
00:04:01,343 --> 00:04:02,777
I'm entering Frank in the tournament,
102
00:04:02,788 --> 00:04:04,351
and then he's gonna
rise through the ranks,
103
00:04:04,362 --> 00:04:06,630
and he's gonna beat this
guy's ass, USA style.
104
00:04:06,641 --> 00:04:08,144
So, I need the glasses, Uncle Jack,
105
00:04:08,155 --> 00:04:09,949
because Frank's got to be
able to transmit me the board
106
00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:11,273
while I play along on a computer
107
00:04:11,284 --> 00:04:13,489
and I signal him the moves
with the restaurant buzzer.
108
00:04:13,500 --> 00:04:15,454
No, stop, stop, stop.
Uh, you're gonna break it.
109
00:04:15,465 --> 00:04:17,498
This is, uh, very sensitive equipment.
110
00:04:17,509 --> 00:04:19,013
Right, yeah, okay.
111
00:04:19,024 --> 00:04:20,894
Look, do you have the
spy glasses or not, dude?
112
00:04:20,905 --> 00:04:22,765
Fine. I'll let you borrow
them, but I'm coming with.
113
00:04:22,776 --> 00:04:25,060
Okay? I don't want you
breaking any of this.
114
00:04:25,071 --> 00:04:26,364
A play date.
115
00:04:26,375 --> 00:04:27,578
- Goddamn it.
- Oh, yeah.
116
00:04:27,589 --> 00:04:29,354
- Like we used to.
- We never did.
117
00:04:29,365 --> 00:04:32,090
- Ah... You don't remember.
- Man, we never did.
118
00:04:34,029 --> 00:04:36,150
I mean, what is taking
Uncle Jack so long?
119
00:04:36,161 --> 00:04:38,147
Well, why don't we just go in?
120
00:04:38,625 --> 00:04:39,828
Hang on.
121
00:04:44,001 --> 00:04:45,689
- What the...
- Is that-is that him?
122
00:04:45,700 --> 00:04:47,337
Holy shit.
123
00:04:48,004 --> 00:04:50,648
Uh, Uncle Jack, what-what is this?
124
00:04:50,861 --> 00:04:52,268
My ice cream truck.
125
00:04:52,279 --> 00:04:54,951
You know, I-I have, like,
a side business.
126
00:04:55,118 --> 00:04:57,806
Ugh. All right, fine. You know
what? Actually, this could work.
127
00:04:57,817 --> 00:04:59,052
- You got the spy glasses?
- Yeah. Here they are.
128
00:04:59,063 --> 00:05:00,859
- Glasses.
- Here's how this goes.
129
00:05:00,870 --> 00:05:02,227
- Frank, you got the buzzer?
- Yeah, I got the buzzer.
130
00:05:02,238 --> 00:05:04,071
All right, so Frank's got a
buzzer in his pocket, okay?
131
00:05:04,082 --> 00:05:05,775
- I'm gonna put it in my pocket.
- So, he'll hover his hand over the piece,
132
00:05:05,786 --> 00:05:08,300
you know, one buzz for
yes, two buzzes for no,
133
00:05:08,311 --> 00:05:10,291
three if you need him to switch
to a different piece, okay?
134
00:05:10,302 --> 00:05:11,733
Same goes for where
to put it down. Got it?
135
00:05:11,744 --> 00:05:12,893
- Okay. Yup.
- You clear?
136
00:05:12,904 --> 00:05:15,040
- Give me a Push Pop, will you?
- And get him a Push Pop.
137
00:05:15,051 --> 00:05:17,755
What? Oh, no, I-I don't
have any ice cream.
138
00:05:17,796 --> 00:05:19,630
- Oh.
- Oh, my God. All right, fine.
139
00:05:19,641 --> 00:05:20,830
Just... just...
140
00:05:21,224 --> 00:05:23,117
- get to your spot and play the... Ugh.
- Okay.
141
00:05:23,128 --> 00:05:24,889
Hey, I'll be watching you.
142
00:05:27,255 --> 00:05:29,626
Hm...
143
00:05:29,726 --> 00:05:31,546
Should I go here?
144
00:05:31,557 --> 00:05:35,064
Mm. Or should I go...
145
00:05:35,075 --> 00:05:36,580
here?
146
00:05:36,591 --> 00:05:38,975
Charlie, don't
look at the kid, look at the board.
147
00:05:38,986 --> 00:05:41,905
Actually, one quick look at the kid
again, so I can get a screen grab.
148
00:05:41,916 --> 00:05:44,145
- Gross, no, man, no.
- No? No?
149
00:05:44,156 --> 00:05:45,442
I... No, not you. Sorry.
150
00:05:45,453 --> 00:05:47,340
Talking to the voices in my head, so...
151
00:05:47,351 --> 00:05:49,137
- Stay on the board.
- Yup. Yes.
152
00:05:49,148 --> 00:05:51,272
Don't mind my friend.
He's schizophrenic.
153
00:05:51,283 --> 00:05:52,556
I am, yeah.
154
00:05:52,567 --> 00:05:55,641
- Got it.
- Go eh...
155
00:05:57,115 --> 00:05:59,929
Boom. I took your little castle-y thing.
156
00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:03,026
Suck on that, boy!
157
00:06:03,037 --> 00:06:05,330
If he does, let me get
another screen grab.
158
00:06:05,341 --> 00:06:07,338
Shut up, dude. That's gross, man.
159
00:06:07,349 --> 00:06:09,177
- Uh-oh, uh-oh.
- Sir?
160
00:06:09,188 --> 00:06:10,939
Uh, sir, may I have a word with you?
161
00:06:10,950 --> 00:06:12,989
Um, absolutely not because
I'm in the middle of watching
162
00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:14,138
a game of chess.
163
00:06:14,149 --> 00:06:17,013
Uh, there is no alcohol
allowed on the premises.
164
00:06:17,235 --> 00:06:18,829
What? Wh-What do you mean?
165
00:06:18,840 --> 00:06:20,232
Like, I got to drink wine or something?
166
00:06:20,243 --> 00:06:22,074
No alcohol at all.
167
00:06:22,085 --> 00:06:24,344
- At a sporting event?
- That's crazy.
168
00:06:24,355 --> 00:06:26,794
Fine, dude. Here you go.
169
00:06:26,855 --> 00:06:29,359
Frank, I'm gonna have to find
some way to sneak beer in here.
170
00:06:29,370 --> 00:06:30,709
Excuse me?
171
00:06:30,766 --> 00:06:32,870
Dude, are you still here? Go away.
172
00:06:33,314 --> 00:06:34,999
I gave you the beer, man.
173
00:06:38,893 --> 00:06:41,534
Now, as you're both aware,
I have a foolproof system
174
00:06:41,545 --> 00:06:43,081
for attracting a woman.
175
00:06:43,187 --> 00:06:47,926
But I also have a foolproof
system for attracting a man.
176
00:06:48,023 --> 00:06:50,996
- Aw, awesome.
- No way.
177
00:06:51,007 --> 00:06:52,295
- Why? - How come?
- Shh, shh.
178
00:06:52,306 --> 00:06:54,482
Shh. Shh.
179
00:06:55,375 --> 00:06:57,077
Okay. Now, it begins
180
00:06:57,088 --> 00:07:00,829
with me setting you both
up with nice, normal dates.
181
00:07:01,668 --> 00:07:03,061
You will begin by greeting them
182
00:07:03,072 --> 00:07:04,875
with the traditional pleasantries.
183
00:07:04,886 --> 00:07:06,126
Very nice to meet you, Patrick.
184
00:07:06,137 --> 00:07:07,340
Kyle, it's a pleasure.
185
00:07:07,787 --> 00:07:09,058
Pleasure's all mine.
186
00:07:09,313 --> 00:07:12,998
I'll be nearby, of course,
to make sure nothing goes awry.
187
00:07:14,369 --> 00:07:15,993
Step one.
188
00:07:16,527 --> 00:07:18,866
S... suppress your instincts.
189
00:07:19,325 --> 00:07:21,927
See, your first instinct is going
to be to try to make yourself
190
00:07:21,938 --> 00:07:24,267
seem awesome to him, but that's wrong.
191
00:07:24,278 --> 00:07:25,942
'Cause this isn't about you.
192
00:07:25,953 --> 00:07:27,617
This is a man we're talking about.
193
00:07:27,628 --> 00:07:29,364
It's always about him.
194
00:07:29,831 --> 00:07:31,792
Okay? So, you're going to...
195
00:07:31,803 --> 00:07:34,404
I... inflate his ego.
196
00:07:34,415 --> 00:07:38,190
Make him feel like he's
awesome, he's funny,
197
00:07:38,201 --> 00:07:41,048
he's the most interesting
person in the room.
198
00:07:41,059 --> 00:07:42,919
You're the most interesting
person in this room.
199
00:07:42,930 --> 00:07:44,499
Uhp, uhp, uhp. Hi.
200
00:07:44,510 --> 00:07:45,764
Hello.
201
00:07:45,775 --> 00:07:47,658
I just wanted to come
over and introduce myself.
202
00:07:47,669 --> 00:07:48,908
I'm-I'm the manager
203
00:07:48,919 --> 00:07:50,168
- of the establishment.
- Yes, I was just saying
204
00:07:50,179 --> 00:07:52,080
that he's the most
interesting man in the room.
205
00:07:52,091 --> 00:07:54,524
Yeah. You know, it's...
I-I caught that, actually,
206
00:07:54,535 --> 00:07:57,438
and I wanted to say to
you that, uh, Mac does,
207
00:07:57,449 --> 00:07:59,358
in fact, know everyone here,
208
00:07:59,369 --> 00:08:01,482
which he would, of course,
209
00:08:01,493 --> 00:08:04,706
have to in order to have
said something like that.
210
00:08:04,717 --> 00:08:06,639
So, it's meaningful.
211
00:08:08,317 --> 00:08:10,254
Now, once your man's feeling important,
212
00:08:10,265 --> 00:08:12,502
you're gonna show him that you...
213
00:08:12,513 --> 00:08:15,338
N... need his power.
214
00:08:15,349 --> 00:08:16,429
Mm.
215
00:08:16,440 --> 00:08:17,688
See, every man's greatest fear
216
00:08:17,699 --> 00:08:19,648
is that he's a... pussy.
217
00:08:20,321 --> 00:08:22,702
- Mm.
- You need to make him feel powerful.
218
00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:24,225
Oh, boy.
219
00:08:26,044 --> 00:08:29,288
Oh... man. I just can't
seem to get this open.
220
00:08:29,299 --> 00:08:31,704
- Do you think you could help me out?
- Sure.
221
00:08:35,469 --> 00:08:37,240
Oh, this is really on tight.
222
00:08:37,341 --> 00:08:40,140
Uh, are you-are you being serious?
223
00:08:40,151 --> 00:08:42,011
Oh, Christ, Bozo, give
it back to me. I'll do it.
224
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:44,093
Wai... No, no. Uh, no.
Yeah, it's... You can't.
225
00:08:44,104 --> 00:08:45,481
You can't. You couldn't.
226
00:08:45,492 --> 00:08:47,615
No one could, because these bottles...
227
00:08:47,626 --> 00:08:49,761
are all, uh...
228
00:08:49,772 --> 00:08:51,910
they're defective and un-openable.
229
00:08:51,921 --> 00:08:53,883
Yeah, there's been a
recall, actually. See?
230
00:08:53,894 --> 00:08:56,300
It's-it's impossible. Nobody could...
231
00:08:56,311 --> 00:08:57,905
get these open today.
232
00:08:58,754 --> 00:09:01,627
- Mm.
- You know what? You do look very, very strong.
233
00:09:01,690 --> 00:09:04,567
You mind giving
this one more shot for me?
234
00:09:04,578 --> 00:09:06,867
Let's see if you can get it.
235
00:09:07,195 --> 00:09:09,082
- Oh!
- Whoa.
236
00:09:09,093 --> 00:09:10,382
- Wow.
- Wow.
237
00:09:12,699 --> 00:09:14,435
Now that your man's feeling powerful,
238
00:09:14,446 --> 00:09:16,483
on top of the world, you must...
239
00:09:16,686 --> 00:09:18,268
rip it away from him.
240
00:09:18,279 --> 00:09:21,802
You're going to N... negate his power.
241
00:09:21,976 --> 00:09:23,757
Yeah, but this needs to be subtle.
242
00:09:23,768 --> 00:09:25,972
A man's ego is... fragile.
243
00:09:26,193 --> 00:09:29,032
The goal here is to make
him feel that he may be a...
244
00:09:29,089 --> 00:09:30,424
tad bit inadequate,
245
00:09:30,541 --> 00:09:32,946
in comparison, maybe, to a former lover.
246
00:09:33,414 --> 00:09:35,686
- Yes? But don't lay it on too thick.
- Oh.
247
00:09:36,827 --> 00:09:38,169
- Mm. Mm-hmm.
- Subtle.
248
00:09:38,370 --> 00:09:40,507
I used to fuck LeBron James.
249
00:09:41,158 --> 00:09:42,475
Oh, God.
250
00:09:44,429 --> 00:09:47,098
Now, even if things have gone
a little off the rails at this point,
251
00:09:47,109 --> 00:09:49,755
we can get things back
on track with a classic.
252
00:09:49,801 --> 00:09:53,241
E... engage physically.
253
00:09:53,267 --> 00:09:54,884
- Hey-o.
- Yeah.
254
00:09:54,895 --> 00:09:57,271
But you got to make sure
that your physical engagement
255
00:09:57,282 --> 00:09:59,386
is appropriate to the environment, okay?
256
00:09:59,397 --> 00:10:02,536
Your demeanor wants to
remain elegant and classy.
257
00:10:03,139 --> 00:10:04,619
- Right.
- Mm. Got it.
258
00:10:09,528 --> 00:10:10,755
What are you doing?
259
00:10:11,055 --> 00:10:12,772
I'm grabbing your ding-dong.
260
00:10:12,783 --> 00:10:14,108
No!
261
00:10:14,119 --> 00:10:16,324
No, yeah. That's, uh...
262
00:10:16,480 --> 00:10:18,214
And now for the final step,
263
00:10:18,225 --> 00:10:21,030
the most profound move
of the entire system.
264
00:10:22,763 --> 00:10:24,166
D.
265
00:10:25,851 --> 00:10:27,387
"Do you want a tissue?"
266
00:10:27,665 --> 00:10:28,669
- Huh?
- Huh?
267
00:10:28,680 --> 00:10:31,428
You see, with this one
simple but profound question,
268
00:10:31,439 --> 00:10:33,543
you instantly transport
this man back to a time
269
00:10:33,554 --> 00:10:35,686
when he was a tiny,
snot-nosed little bitch
270
00:10:35,697 --> 00:10:37,758
who depended on the most
important person in his life
271
00:10:37,769 --> 00:10:39,177
for absolutely everything.
272
00:10:39,188 --> 00:10:41,126
The person who inflated his ego,
273
00:10:41,323 --> 00:10:43,112
who made him feel powerful,
274
00:10:43,123 --> 00:10:44,826
but also powerless.
275
00:10:44,871 --> 00:10:46,875
The person whose validation
276
00:10:46,886 --> 00:10:49,959
he's been seeking his entire life.
277
00:10:50,421 --> 00:10:51,528
Guys,
278
00:10:51,820 --> 00:10:54,022
the way to make a man
fall in love with you
279
00:10:54,033 --> 00:10:56,370
is to make him feel
280
00:10:56,587 --> 00:10:58,998
like you are...
281
00:10:59,009 --> 00:11:01,447
his mommy.
282
00:11:01,830 --> 00:11:03,334
Well, it's getting late.
283
00:11:03,928 --> 00:11:06,618
Yeah. Yeah, we should probably call it.
284
00:11:06,629 --> 00:11:09,402
I have, uh, one thing
that I'd like to ask you.
285
00:11:09,413 --> 00:11:12,252
Um... do you need a tissue?
286
00:11:12,825 --> 00:11:14,749
Do you need a tissue?
287
00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:16,136
- What?
- What?
288
00:11:16,273 --> 00:11:18,377
- You need a tissue.
- You need a tissue.
289
00:11:18,744 --> 00:11:20,981
Oh. Oh, really? Ah...
290
00:11:21,136 --> 00:11:23,196
Ah, just... That's-that's embarrassing.
291
00:11:23,207 --> 00:11:24,799
Hang on, all right, stop it.
292
00:11:24,810 --> 00:11:26,414
There we go. Come here.
293
00:11:26,979 --> 00:11:28,653
There we go.
294
00:11:28,882 --> 00:11:32,487
Now my little man is
all ready for his day.
295
00:11:32,808 --> 00:11:36,003
Before, they wanted
nothing more than this date to be over.
296
00:11:36,014 --> 00:11:38,355
But now they can't help but ask...
297
00:11:38,775 --> 00:11:41,702
Hey, um, any chance...
298
00:11:41,713 --> 00:11:42,948
Would you want to...
299
00:11:42,959 --> 00:11:43,994
do this again...
300
00:11:44,005 --> 00:11:45,242
sometime?
301
00:11:45,253 --> 00:11:46,389
Mm.
302
00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:48,600
- It worked.
- And there you have it.
303
00:11:48,611 --> 00:11:50,581
That, my friends, is...
304
00:11:50,768 --> 00:11:52,705
the SINNED system.
305
00:11:52,716 --> 00:11:54,431
- Oh!
- Whoa!
306
00:11:54,442 --> 00:11:55,878
- Oh, ho!
- Amazing.
307
00:11:55,889 --> 00:11:58,075
- Crazy creepy, though, with all the mom stuff...
- Oh, yeah, very creepy.
308
00:11:58,086 --> 00:12:00,015
... and the name's a
little heavy-handed.
309
00:12:00,026 --> 00:12:01,452
Yeah, took a-took a lot to get there.
310
00:12:01,463 --> 00:12:03,570
It's not as clean as the DENNIS system.
311
00:12:03,581 --> 00:12:05,251
Well, but listen, the DENNIS system...
312
00:12:05,262 --> 00:12:06,559
that's a system for getting a woman.
313
00:12:06,570 --> 00:12:08,039
This is a system for getting a man,
314
00:12:08,050 --> 00:12:10,646
and that's why SINNED is actually...
315
00:12:11,456 --> 00:12:13,027
DENNIS backwards.
316
00:12:13,038 --> 00:12:16,189
Oh, my God!
317
00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:18,261
- That's amazing.
- How-how did that line up like that?
318
00:12:18,272 --> 00:12:20,990
- Yeah, like, what are the odds, though?
- Oh, wow.
319
00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:22,054
What do you... The odds of what?
320
00:12:22,065 --> 00:12:24,112
What are the odds that
the steps to the system
321
00:12:24,123 --> 00:12:25,960
would be DENNIS backwards
322
00:12:25,971 --> 00:12:27,651
and that they would spell
out the word "sinned?"
323
00:12:27,662 --> 00:12:30,863
High! High. 'Cause I made it up.
324
00:12:31,194 --> 00:12:34,317
- Oh! Yeah, he did it on purpose.
- Oh, my... He made it up.
325
00:12:39,103 --> 00:12:41,242
- Hey-o!
- Hey-o!
326
00:12:41,253 --> 00:12:42,539
Hey, hey, hey!
327
00:12:42,550 --> 00:12:44,623
What's up, guy... You
know what, I got to say,
328
00:12:44,634 --> 00:12:46,970
I am, I'm still, like,
buzzing from last night.
329
00:12:46,981 --> 00:12:48,760
- Got a little hairy there for a second, didn't it?
- Yeah. Yeah.
330
00:12:48,771 --> 00:12:49,843
Yeah, but we pulled it off.
331
00:12:49,854 --> 00:12:50,966
- We sure did!
- We really did.
332
00:12:50,977 --> 00:12:52,327
- We really did.
- Success.
333
00:12:52,338 --> 00:12:54,140
All right, so talk to me,
when are those second dates?
334
00:12:54,151 --> 00:12:56,011
Ooh, yeah, no, that's not happening.
335
00:12:56,238 --> 00:12:57,684
What do you mean, that's not happening?
336
00:12:57,695 --> 00:12:59,863
Well, I got home last night,
and, I, uh, found myself
337
00:12:59,874 --> 00:13:02,481
real horny, so I popped a
couple of Mommy's magic beans
338
00:13:02,492 --> 00:13:04,551
and headed over to Kyle's house.
339
00:13:04,562 --> 00:13:06,273
Roofies. I roofied myself.
340
00:13:06,353 --> 00:13:08,932
Yeah, not 100% sure if we plowed or not,
341
00:13:08,943 --> 00:13:11,014
but I do know I got this.
342
00:13:11,759 --> 00:13:12,872
You stole his phone.
343
00:13:12,883 --> 00:13:14,537
- Yeah, well, I'll be honest...
- Aw...
344
00:13:14,548 --> 00:13:16,519
... the details are a bit hazy, still,
345
00:13:16,530 --> 00:13:18,894
but I do know I stole somebody's phone.
346
00:13:18,905 --> 00:13:20,578
- And you?
- Oh, I'm not doing it either.
347
00:13:20,589 --> 00:13:22,726
- Yeah!
- Okay, but I have a good reason, Dennis.
348
00:13:22,737 --> 00:13:25,391
I have a really good reason,
'cause I'm not a-a rapist
349
00:13:25,402 --> 00:13:28,078
and a thief like Dee is.
I'm-I'm just a boy in love.
350
00:13:28,089 --> 00:13:29,328
I'm just a boy in love with Johnny,
351
00:13:29,339 --> 00:13:31,792
and I realized that
I-I have to be with him.
352
00:13:31,803 --> 00:13:33,872
Well, no, see,
that's-that's the thing...
353
00:13:33,883 --> 00:13:36,629
Johnny doesn't love you.
He doesn't even like you.
354
00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:38,611
- You don't know him.
- No, no, no.
355
00:13:38,664 --> 00:13:39,816
You don't know him.
356
00:13:39,827 --> 00:13:42,856
- I know him better than you.
- Do you? Because I am him.
357
00:13:44,001 --> 00:13:45,003
What?
358
00:13:45,130 --> 00:13:47,625
I invented Johnny as a means
of getting you out of the apartment
359
00:13:47,636 --> 00:13:48,980
when you were irritating me.
360
00:13:48,991 --> 00:13:50,100
I don't understand.
361
00:13:50,111 --> 00:13:51,893
Okay, like, when "Johnny" sent you out
362
00:13:51,904 --> 00:13:53,344
to go get those soft-shell crabs,
363
00:13:53,355 --> 00:13:54,521
- you remember that? Yeah.
- Yeah.
364
00:13:54,532 --> 00:13:56,014
And he was supposed to
meet you, but he didn't.
365
00:13:56,024 --> 00:13:57,473
- No.
- He ghosted you, right?
366
00:13:57,484 --> 00:14:00,296
And so, you came sauntering back
in the house and all depressed,
367
00:14:00,307 --> 00:14:02,034
and I was like, "Well,
I tell you what, buddy,
368
00:14:02,045 --> 00:14:04,945
I'll eat the soft-shell
crabs. They are my favorite."
369
00:14:04,956 --> 00:14:06,659
And I said, "Oh, my
God, what a coincidence
370
00:14:06,670 --> 00:14:09,088
because they're-they're
Johnny's favorite, too."
371
00:14:09,099 --> 00:14:11,359
- Yeah, because I am Johnny.
- Then who's Dennis?
372
00:14:11,370 --> 00:14:13,957
- What do you mean?
- Well, if you're Johnny, then who... who's you?
373
00:14:13,968 --> 00:14:15,905
I'm Dennis! I've always been Dennis.
374
00:14:15,916 --> 00:14:18,223
L-L-Let me... This is gonna make
it all clear. This is my phone...
375
00:14:18,234 --> 00:14:19,923
- Don't want to get into this...
- ... and when I push a certain button...
376
00:14:19,934 --> 00:14:21,761
Wait, hold on. H-Hold on a second.
377
00:14:21,772 --> 00:14:23,732
- What, what?
- Johnny's buzzing me. I got... Look.
378
00:14:23,743 --> 00:14:26,185
- No, I pushed the button.
- I haven't heard from him in a while,
379
00:14:26,196 --> 00:14:27,973
and I'm going to the motel.
I got to meet him, Mac.
380
00:14:27,984 --> 00:14:29,913
- I'm sorry.
- It's not Johnny. I pushed the button on my phone...
381
00:14:29,924 --> 00:14:31,806
I can't engage with
you on this right now.
382
00:14:31,817 --> 00:14:35,225
- I got to-I got to go see Johnny.
- Dennis! Dennis. I need your help, man.
383
00:14:35,236 --> 00:14:36,395
- I need your help, big-time.
- No, no!
384
00:14:36,406 --> 00:14:37,700
I am done helping people.
385
00:14:37,711 --> 00:14:39,523
Dude, we're so close,
man. We're in the finals.
386
00:14:39,534 --> 00:14:41,260
- Yeah? I don't care.
- And there's no way
387
00:14:41,271 --> 00:14:42,998
I'm gonna be able to sneak
a restaurant buzzer in now.
388
00:14:43,009 --> 00:14:44,362
Okay, you know what? You're
not gonna stop talking.
389
00:14:44,373 --> 00:14:45,566
- So, I-I'm just...
- Yes... No, I'm not, because,
390
00:14:45,577 --> 00:14:47,121
- Dennis, I need your help. Look, I've
- I don't care.
391
00:14:47,132 --> 00:14:49,310
been controlling Frank using
the restaurant buzzer, okay?
392
00:14:49,321 --> 00:14:51,444
- Wait a-wait a... whoa, what...
- And it's the perfect plan.
393
00:14:51,455 --> 00:14:53,091
Hold on a second.
394
00:14:54,290 --> 00:14:56,595
Sorry, did you just say you've been...
395
00:14:56,669 --> 00:15:00,484
controlling Frank like a pawn in a game?
396
00:15:00,495 --> 00:15:02,803
Like a puppet?
397
00:15:02,814 --> 00:15:04,997
Uh, I didn't say any of
those words, but yeah.
398
00:15:05,008 --> 00:15:07,311
I've been-I've been controlling
Frank, uh, in chess, yes.
399
00:15:07,322 --> 00:15:08,488
Very interesting.
400
00:15:08,499 --> 00:15:11,572
And Frank's been aware of
the puppetry the entire time?
401
00:15:11,769 --> 00:15:13,998
Yeah, of course. He's in on
it. But dude, it's over, right?
402
00:15:14,009 --> 00:15:15,252
Unless you know a way I can sneak
403
00:15:15,263 --> 00:15:17,735
something into this
tournament that vibrates.
404
00:15:20,088 --> 00:15:22,793
I think I may have a way, but, uh...
405
00:15:23,140 --> 00:15:24,742
Frank's not gonna like it.
406
00:15:26,006 --> 00:15:27,318
- Dee.
- Mm.
407
00:15:27,329 --> 00:15:29,133
Got any more of those magic beans?
408
00:15:29,445 --> 00:15:30,447
Yeah.
409
00:15:30,508 --> 00:15:33,021
'Cause we're gonna need
to turn the lights out.
410
00:15:36,530 --> 00:15:38,722
- Frank! Frank, get up!
- Wow, what...
411
00:15:38,733 --> 00:15:41,727
- Wake up! Wake up, man! We're late!
- Okay. What?
412
00:15:41,738 --> 00:15:43,562
We're gonna miss it, dude.
413
00:15:43,573 --> 00:15:45,501
Move. No, out of the way.
414
00:15:45,826 --> 00:15:47,656
Jesus, Frank. Cutting it
pretty close there, pal.
415
00:15:47,667 --> 00:15:49,052
Ah, feel like I got to take a shit.
416
00:15:49,063 --> 00:15:50,765
- What? You got to sh... Don't shit, don't shit.
- No, no, no.
417
00:15:50,776 --> 00:15:52,558
- There's no time for that.
- I'm not ready for this.
418
00:15:52,569 --> 00:15:55,726
No, listen to me, listen
to me. You are ready.
419
00:15:56,159 --> 00:15:59,704
Everything you need
is already inside you.
420
00:15:59,715 --> 00:16:02,121
Move. No, out of the way.
421
00:16:09,695 --> 00:16:12,515
The excitement here is palpable.
422
00:16:12,526 --> 00:16:14,980
At last, the moment
we've all been waiting for,
423
00:16:14,991 --> 00:16:17,536
Mr. Reynolds is about
to make his first move.
424
00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:19,756
You got this, Frank!
425
00:16:19,767 --> 00:16:21,370
You got this, man!
426
00:16:23,949 --> 00:16:26,100
I don't know what I'm doing.
427
00:16:26,111 --> 00:16:28,317
Frank, trust your gut.
428
00:16:33,166 --> 00:16:35,066
Ooh.
429
00:16:35,758 --> 00:16:37,429
Oh.
430
00:16:42,489 --> 00:16:44,825
He seems a little uncomfortable, Susan.
431
00:16:44,836 --> 00:16:46,840
Just think about the incredible amount
432
00:16:46,851 --> 00:16:48,720
of pressure he's feeling right now.
433
00:16:48,731 --> 00:16:50,769
Oh...
434
00:16:54,750 --> 00:16:56,940
Ho, ho.
435
00:16:56,995 --> 00:16:58,537
Ho, ho!
436
00:16:58,548 --> 00:17:01,088
Yes. Yes.
437
00:17:01,115 --> 00:17:03,720
Oh.
438
00:17:03,731 --> 00:17:05,840
- Oh, God, no.
- Mr. Reynolds seems to be going through
439
00:17:05,851 --> 00:17:09,367
a range of emotions while
contemplating his first move.
440
00:17:09,378 --> 00:17:11,149
You don't have to do this.
441
00:17:11,356 --> 00:17:12,726
You don't have to do it.
442
00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:14,837
S-Should I go here?
443
00:17:14,848 --> 00:17:17,403
Oh...
444
00:17:18,726 --> 00:17:19,671
Uh... There?
445
00:17:23,233 --> 00:17:24,869
Oh!
446
00:17:26,365 --> 00:17:27,892
Take your time, take your time.
447
00:17:27,903 --> 00:17:31,744
Take your time. Take your time.
448
00:17:42,211 --> 00:17:44,282
You don't have to do this!
449
00:17:45,986 --> 00:17:47,524
Should I go there? Aah!
450
00:17:54,696 --> 00:17:55,958
Hey, Dennis.
451
00:17:55,969 --> 00:17:57,952
Oh, man, I had the
craziest night last night,
452
00:17:57,963 --> 00:17:59,887
'cause I think I, like,
blacked out, and then,
453
00:17:59,898 --> 00:18:02,050
when I woke up, I think
that Johnny broke up with me,
454
00:18:02,061 --> 00:18:04,284
- 'cause he was gone.
- Mac, I can't do this right now.
455
00:18:04,295 --> 00:18:05,864
Here?
456
00:18:06,974 --> 00:18:08,472
Here?
457
00:18:08,483 --> 00:18:10,454
Don't lose your shit,
man. Don't lose your shit.
458
00:18:10,465 --> 00:18:12,547
A language warning for
anybody watching at home.
459
00:18:12,558 --> 00:18:14,945
Ho! Aah, aah, aah! Oh!
460
00:18:15,578 --> 00:18:16,692
Nice.
461
00:18:16,703 --> 00:18:19,788
I am Johnny! I don't
know how else to tell you!
462
00:18:19,799 --> 00:18:22,295
Look, I have the texts.
I will show you the texts.
463
00:18:22,306 --> 00:18:25,980
Look, these are the texts that
I sent to you from my phone.
464
00:18:25,991 --> 00:18:28,930
Oh, my God. You have Johnny's phone.
465
00:18:29,321 --> 00:18:30,361
- This is my...
- Give it to me.
466
00:18:30,372 --> 00:18:32,199
- Give me Johnny's phone.
- Goddamn it! - Whoa, whoa.
467
00:18:37,101 --> 00:18:39,639
You motherfucker!
468
00:18:49,633 --> 00:18:51,035
Oh, God.
469
00:18:52,039 --> 00:18:53,633
It won't... it won't go down.
470
00:18:54,154 --> 00:18:55,608
What have you done?
471
00:18:55,619 --> 00:18:58,380
Take my king. Take my king.
472
00:18:58,391 --> 00:19:00,528
Take him. Take it. Take it.
473
00:19:02,365 --> 00:19:03,673
Oh...
474
00:19:12,939 --> 00:19:14,665
Kd2! Kd2!
475
00:19:14,676 --> 00:19:17,931
That is checkmate. What a
brilliant endgame by Reynolds.
476
00:19:17,942 --> 00:19:20,614
- He won?
- He won!
477
00:19:20,625 --> 00:19:22,243
Frank won?
478
00:19:25,838 --> 00:19:27,438
Get it out! Get it out!
479
00:19:27,449 --> 00:19:29,610
- God. Take it out, take it out.
- You did it, Frank!
480
00:19:29,621 --> 00:19:31,372
- Frank, you did it! You beat the Russian!
- Take it out. Take it out.
481
00:19:31,383 --> 00:19:33,770
- You beat the Russian!
- Stop it, stop.
482
00:19:33,781 --> 00:19:36,013
Stop this, Charl... It's gonna
split me in half, Charlie.
483
00:19:36,024 --> 00:19:37,861
He won! He won!
484
00:19:37,872 --> 00:19:40,444
- USA! USA!
- Kill the Wi-Fi! Kill the Wi-Fi!
485
00:19:40,455 --> 00:19:42,914
- USA! USA!
- Kill it. Kill the Wi-Fi!
486
00:19:42,925 --> 00:19:44,361
Kill the Wi-Fi!
487
00:19:44,372 --> 00:19:46,009
Ooh. Ooh.
488
00:19:46,034 --> 00:19:53,034
- Synced and corrected by naFraC -
- www.addic7ed.com -
36929
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