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1
00:00:18,421 --> 00:00:20,381
Babe, we did it! Oh, my God, okay.
2
00:00:20,423 --> 00:00:21,591
- Here's another one. You ready?
- Yeah.
3
00:00:21,632 --> 00:00:23,551
"VICE Magazine,"
"'Based on a True Story,'
4
00:00:23,593 --> 00:00:24,677
real or hoax?
5
00:00:24,719 --> 00:00:25,803
The podcast that's gripped the nation."
6
00:00:25,845 --> 00:00:26,971
Holy shit.
7
00:00:27,013 --> 00:00:28,389
- Keep going.
- Yep, we got one
8
00:00:28,431 --> 00:00:30,349
from BuzzFeed: "Top ten
moments you can't miss
9
00:00:30,391 --> 00:00:32,226
from 'Based on a True Story.'"
10
00:00:32,268 --> 00:00:34,228
- Love you, BuzzFeed.
- Another amazing one.
11
00:00:34,270 --> 00:00:35,354
"New York Times Magazine,"
12
00:00:35,396 --> 00:00:37,023
"Bill Kristol and Noam Chomsky debate,
13
00:00:37,065 --> 00:00:39,817
'What does "Based on a True
Story" say about America?'"
14
00:00:39,859 --> 00:00:41,527
It says, the best...
15
00:00:41,569 --> 00:00:43,404
- country ever!
- Oh, my God.
16
00:00:43,446 --> 00:00:46,407
Charli D'Amelio tweeted
"My new favorite obsession!
17
00:00:46,449 --> 00:00:48,242
#basedonatruestory!"
18
00:00:48,284 --> 00:00:49,744
- Who's Charli D'Amelio?
- I loved her
19
00:00:49,786 --> 00:00:51,412
from "Dancing with the
Stars." She won last year...
20
00:00:51,454 --> 00:00:52,538
- Okay.
- But she also has, like,
21
00:00:52,580 --> 00:00:54,457
150 million followers on TikTok,
22
00:00:54,499 --> 00:00:56,042
so we are fucking viral, babe!
23
00:00:56,084 --> 00:00:57,418
Uh-oh, look who's callin' here.
24
00:00:57,460 --> 00:00:59,379
Okay. Hey, you see the Daily Beast?
25
00:00:59,420 --> 00:01:03,216
Who is the voice of
"Based on a True Story"?
26
00:01:03,257 --> 00:01:05,093
Can you believe that?
27
00:01:05,134 --> 00:01:07,220
Man, we are everywhere.
28
00:01:07,261 --> 00:01:08,554
Right?
29
00:01:08,596 --> 00:01:09,806
How far away are you?
30
00:01:09,847 --> 00:01:12,392
I'm just on Sunset. I'll see you soon.
31
00:01:13,893 --> 00:01:15,853
- Why did she invite him?
- I don't know.
32
00:01:15,895 --> 00:01:18,147
It's like, if I know someone,
she has to know them too.
33
00:01:18,189 --> 00:01:19,565
My friend has to be her friend.
34
00:01:19,607 --> 00:01:21,401
If I have a plumber, she
has to have the same plumber.
35
00:01:21,442 --> 00:01:23,194
- It's like, fuck off.
- Yeah.
36
00:01:23,236 --> 00:01:25,488
This is gonna be a fucking great party.
37
00:01:35,081 --> 00:01:36,457
- All right.
- Hi, guys.
38
00:01:36,499 --> 00:01:39,043
- Wow.
- Welcome. Hi.
39
00:01:39,085 --> 00:01:40,628
- Beautiful in here.
- Oh, thank you.
40
00:01:40,670 --> 00:01:42,755
- You look amazing. You're huge.
- Thank you.
41
00:01:42,797 --> 00:01:44,257
- Uh...
- Hi.
42
00:01:44,298 --> 00:01:46,175
- Hi, girls.
- So good to see you.
43
00:01:46,217 --> 00:01:48,761
- You guys look gorgeous.
- This dress...
44
00:01:48,803 --> 00:01:50,596
- Cut two dresses...
- Stop.
45
00:01:50,638 --> 00:01:52,056
- And put it together.
- No, you did not.
46
00:01:52,098 --> 00:01:53,182
- Hi!
- Tory!
47
00:01:53,224 --> 00:01:54,350
- Hi, sis.
- Hello.
48
00:01:54,392 --> 00:01:55,768
Little kid.
49
00:01:55,810 --> 00:01:56,810
You need a sweater.
50
00:01:56,811 --> 00:01:58,354
- Oh, hi.
- No, let it all out.
51
00:01:58,396 --> 00:02:00,940
- How was school?
- I just graduated.
52
00:02:00,982 --> 00:02:03,568
- You look smarter.
- Looking for a place to stay,
53
00:02:03,609 --> 00:02:05,820
you know, before baby
comes and kicks me out.
54
00:02:05,862 --> 00:02:07,405
Oh, my God, no one is kicking you out.
55
00:02:07,447 --> 00:02:08,906
- Is there food yet?
- Yeah, inside.
56
00:02:08,948 --> 00:02:10,658
- Bye.
- Hi.
57
00:02:10,700 --> 00:02:12,910
- Who's your date?
- Tinder guy.
58
00:02:12,952 --> 00:02:15,872
Uh, no, actually, Bumble guy. Jacob.
59
00:02:15,913 --> 00:02:17,123
Another fuckfest.
60
00:02:17,165 --> 00:02:19,000
Oh, no, it's, like, a little early.
61
00:02:19,042 --> 00:02:20,501
- Is it?
- Alcohol?
62
00:02:20,543 --> 00:02:21,627
- Mm-hmm, yes.
- Yeah.
63
00:02:21,669 --> 00:02:23,046
- Yes, yes.
- I see this.
64
00:02:23,047 --> 00:02:24,047
- Bye.
- Holding hands.
65
00:02:24,047 --> 00:02:25,256
Intimate.
66
00:02:26,674 --> 00:02:28,217
I used to hate these things.
67
00:02:28,259 --> 00:02:29,635
I always got outbid.
68
00:02:29,677 --> 00:02:31,304
- Not anymore, babe.
- Not anymore.
69
00:02:31,345 --> 00:02:32,597
Look at this watch.
70
00:02:32,638 --> 00:02:34,557
Ten-day vacation...
Four Seasons in Maui.
71
00:02:34,599 --> 00:02:36,350
Ooh, I like that one.
72
00:02:36,392 --> 00:02:38,685
- What else we got here?
- A little wine tasting at home?
73
00:02:38,686 --> 00:02:39,812
That would be nice too.
74
00:02:39,854 --> 00:02:41,314
A brick.
75
00:02:41,355 --> 00:02:43,691
- What is that?
- "A single brick salvaged
76
00:02:43,733 --> 00:02:46,861
from the last Manhattan
residence of Edgar Allan Poe"?
77
00:02:46,903 --> 00:02:49,072
A creepy brick owned by a horror writer?
78
00:02:49,113 --> 00:02:51,240
- I have to have that.
- Early anniversary present?
79
00:02:51,282 --> 00:02:53,534
- That is so mine.
- It's gonna be yours, baby.
80
00:02:53,576 --> 00:02:56,371
- It also works as a weapon.
- Hey, it's my two favorite people.
81
00:02:57,413 --> 00:02:58,664
- Hey, Matt.
- Hey.
82
00:02:58,706 --> 00:03:01,376
- Hey, Michelle.
- Hey.
83
00:03:01,417 --> 00:03:03,378
I didn't know you were coming.
84
00:03:03,419 --> 00:03:04,796
- Well, surprise.
- Yay.
85
00:03:04,837 --> 00:03:06,422
- Yeah.
- Great. Yeah.
86
00:03:06,464 --> 00:03:09,675
And it's great that you
guys... um, how are you?
87
00:03:09,717 --> 00:03:13,012
You know what? We are awesome.
88
00:03:13,054 --> 00:03:16,391
Yeah, and we have Nathan to
thank because he set us up.
89
00:03:16,432 --> 00:03:17,809
- Yeah.
- Oh, I... no, I didn't.
90
00:03:17,850 --> 00:03:19,477
I... I definitely didn't set you up.
91
00:03:19,519 --> 00:03:21,854
No, no, you did. You did, remember?
92
00:03:21,896 --> 00:03:22,939
I... I said he was hot,
93
00:03:22,980 --> 00:03:25,775
and then you said he was good people.
94
00:03:25,817 --> 00:03:27,193
Buddy, thanks.
95
00:03:27,235 --> 00:03:28,778
- I owe you.
- I didn't...
96
00:03:28,820 --> 00:03:30,571
Good people?
97
00:03:31,948 --> 00:03:33,908
Oop, excuse me.
98
00:03:33,950 --> 00:03:35,993
Thank you so much.
99
00:03:36,035 --> 00:03:38,413
Oh, my God, these canapes are amazing.
100
00:03:38,454 --> 00:03:40,164
Ugh, I know. I've had, like, 17 of them.
101
00:03:40,206 --> 00:03:42,417
Uh...
102
00:03:44,627 --> 00:03:47,213
Uh... Carlos is here.
103
00:03:47,255 --> 00:03:49,090
Mm, mm-hmm.
104
00:03:49,132 --> 00:03:51,050
Yeah.
105
00:03:51,092 --> 00:03:52,760
You invited Carlos?
106
00:03:52,802 --> 00:03:54,846
Yes. I want all my friends here.
107
00:03:54,887 --> 00:03:56,347
Oh, my God. You invite him to, like,
108
00:03:56,389 --> 00:03:58,433
socialize too?
109
00:03:58,474 --> 00:04:00,059
Well, this is the first one,
110
00:04:00,101 --> 00:04:01,436
but Simon doesn't care.
111
00:04:01,477 --> 00:04:02,812
- Hey.
- See?
112
00:04:02,854 --> 00:04:03,854
All good.
113
00:04:03,855 --> 00:04:05,565
You guys are so fucking weird.
114
00:04:07,984 --> 00:04:09,444
Hey, guys.
115
00:04:11,237 --> 00:04:12,447
Bring it in.
116
00:04:12,488 --> 00:04:14,282
Look at these new numbers.
117
00:04:14,323 --> 00:04:16,617
15 million downloads.
118
00:04:16,659 --> 00:04:18,161
That's a lot of fuckin' money.
119
00:04:18,202 --> 00:04:19,579
Yeah, that's a lot of money.
120
00:04:19,580 --> 00:04:20,581
- Like, a million dollars.
- Can you believe that?
121
00:04:20,581 --> 00:04:21,789
Can you believe that?
122
00:04:21,831 --> 00:04:24,125
Yeah, but you know what
the next question is?
123
00:04:24,167 --> 00:04:25,543
How do we make it bigger?
124
00:04:25,585 --> 00:04:27,295
Okay, let's just enjoy this moment.
125
00:04:27,336 --> 00:04:28,629
We gotta push it. Look.
126
00:04:28,671 --> 00:04:30,423
I went on a bit of a
deep dive on Reddit.
127
00:04:30,465 --> 00:04:32,925
Okay, 24% of our fans,
128
00:04:32,967 --> 00:04:35,136
they want me to keep talking
about my greatest hits
129
00:04:35,178 --> 00:04:37,638
over and over like
I'm Billy fucking Joel,
130
00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:40,558
but 76%, guess what they want?
131
00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:42,477
- Don't say it.
- Fresh new content,
132
00:04:42,518 --> 00:04:43,518
- motherfuckers.
- No.
133
00:04:43,519 --> 00:04:44,812
- No.
- Yeah. Yeah.
134
00:04:44,854 --> 00:04:45,855
We're not talking about that anymore.
135
00:04:45,897 --> 00:04:48,450
- They said it.
- Faking it worked pretty good in Vegas.
136
00:04:48,451 --> 00:04:50,693
The fake was great. It was
great. It was a one-time thing.
137
00:04:50,694 --> 00:04:51,694
- How 'bout a two-time thing?
- It was great.
138
00:04:51,695 --> 00:04:52,825
- No, we've gotta listen
- Why?
139
00:04:52,826 --> 00:04:54,781
to our 15-million fanbase,
140
00:04:54,822 --> 00:04:56,324
and we gotta keep it real for them.
141
00:04:56,366 --> 00:04:57,700
Okay, listen to this.
142
00:04:57,742 --> 00:05:00,119
Spotify is talking about
a $20-million deal with us.
143
00:05:00,161 --> 00:05:01,579
- Yeah.
- So how 'bout that's keeping
144
00:05:01,621 --> 00:05:03,956
- shit real, bro?
- That's keeping it real real,
145
00:05:03,998 --> 00:05:05,666
so just keep your shit together,
146
00:05:05,708 --> 00:05:08,086
don't fuck it up, and just keep cool.
147
00:05:08,127 --> 00:05:09,420
Offer's comin' in any minute.
148
00:05:09,462 --> 00:05:10,546
We're all gonna be rich.
149
00:05:10,588 --> 00:05:12,173
Okay. Great.
150
00:05:12,215 --> 00:05:13,758
- Got it?
- I got it, yeah.
151
00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:16,052
- Don't fuck this up.
- Okay, don't fuck it up.
152
00:05:49,460 --> 00:05:51,587
Yeah?
153
00:06:03,015 --> 00:06:05,017
Okay, ready? Oh, good catch.
154
00:06:05,059 --> 00:06:06,728
Good boy. Come here. Come here.
155
00:06:08,146 --> 00:06:09,897
Come here, boy, you handsome boy.
156
00:06:12,734 --> 00:06:14,610
Ooh. Oh, good catch.
157
00:06:14,652 --> 00:06:16,362
Oh, Duke is such a handsome boy.
158
00:06:16,404 --> 00:06:18,114
- Come here.
- Hey.
159
00:06:18,156 --> 00:06:20,116
Do you wanna try this edible flower?
160
00:06:20,158 --> 00:06:22,910
Do you think we could get the dog back?
161
00:06:22,952 --> 00:06:24,746
Uh, sorry, what?
162
00:06:24,787 --> 00:06:26,122
- Are you kidding?
- I just... I...
163
00:06:26,164 --> 00:06:28,124
I'm really feeling like
164
00:06:28,166 --> 00:06:29,542
he wants to come home.
165
00:06:29,584 --> 00:06:32,045
Okay, babe. We gave them the dog.
166
00:06:32,086 --> 00:06:34,088
You can't ask for
something like that back.
167
00:06:34,130 --> 00:06:35,631
- That's insane.
- We gave him the dog
168
00:06:35,673 --> 00:06:37,300
because our yard was too small.
169
00:06:37,341 --> 00:06:39,342
- Yes.
- But that's about to fucking change.
170
00:06:39,343 --> 00:06:40,678
We're gonna have a huge yard.
171
00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:42,138
He should come home.
172
00:06:42,180 --> 00:06:43,514
I mean, look... look at the way he's...
173
00:06:43,556 --> 00:06:45,391
he throws the ball like such a pussy.
174
00:06:45,433 --> 00:06:46,851
He's like...
- Anybody see that?
175
00:06:46,893 --> 00:06:48,728
It is kind of a lame throw.
176
00:06:48,770 --> 00:06:50,480
- Right? Just like...
- Yeah, but that doesn't mean
177
00:06:50,521 --> 00:06:51,647
you can steal the dog back.
178
00:06:51,689 --> 00:06:53,691
Good catch, Duke!
179
00:06:53,733 --> 00:06:54,817
His name is McEnroe.
180
00:06:54,859 --> 00:06:56,652
It's not Duke, and he knows it.
181
00:06:56,694 --> 00:06:58,237
You gotta let it go, okay?
182
00:06:58,279 --> 00:06:59,489
We can't ask for the dog back.
183
00:06:59,530 --> 00:07:02,325
Okay, fine. We'll buy him back.
184
00:07:02,367 --> 00:07:04,702
You know how much Simon loves this dog?
185
00:07:04,744 --> 00:07:06,579
He does. He's obsessed.
186
00:07:06,621 --> 00:07:08,498
He sleeps in the guesthouse with him.
187
00:07:08,539 --> 00:07:10,041
Do you think I give a shit?
188
00:07:11,626 --> 00:07:13,127
Hey, pal.
189
00:07:14,712 --> 00:07:16,130
It's us. He's look... he's looking at...
190
00:07:16,172 --> 00:07:17,507
- Babe, he's not looking at us.
- He's looking at us.
191
00:07:17,548 --> 00:07:19,300
No, he's not. You can't take something
192
00:07:19,342 --> 00:07:20,342
- like that away.
- Hey.
193
00:07:20,343 --> 00:07:21,344
That's... that's nuts.
194
00:07:21,386 --> 00:07:22,470
Yeah, um, can I...
195
00:07:22,512 --> 00:07:23,638
can I grab you for a second? I just...
196
00:07:23,679 --> 00:07:24,847
- Yeah.
- I need a hand.
197
00:07:24,889 --> 00:07:27,725
Yes. Please don't steal the dog, okay?
198
00:07:27,767 --> 00:07:29,435
Come here, Duke. Come to me. Come to me.
199
00:07:29,477 --> 00:07:30,978
Oh, come here. Good catch.
200
00:07:31,020 --> 00:07:33,481
Good boy. Come here. Come here.
201
00:07:33,523 --> 00:07:35,066
Okay, Duke.
202
00:07:35,108 --> 00:07:36,401
Go get it.
203
00:07:36,442 --> 00:07:38,486
Oh, good catch. You're
such a handsome boy.
204
00:07:38,528 --> 00:07:39,737
Bring it back. Bring it back.
205
00:07:50,373 --> 00:07:53,918
Just love this room!
206
00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:55,878
It's so beautiful. Where
are the party favors?
207
00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:57,463
- You hiding them up here?
- Ava...
208
00:07:57,505 --> 00:07:58,881
Also, you have no pictures.
209
00:07:58,923 --> 00:08:01,384
- It's really weird.
- Hey, are you okay?
210
00:08:01,426 --> 00:08:03,553
What?
211
00:08:06,806 --> 00:08:08,141
What... what is that?
212
00:08:08,182 --> 00:08:10,017
I don't know. You tell me.
213
00:08:10,059 --> 00:08:12,061
I saw it fall out of
your pocket at CrimeCon.
214
00:08:12,103 --> 00:08:15,314
I've... I've never seen
that before in my life.
215
00:08:15,356 --> 00:08:16,733
You've never seen this
before in your life?
216
00:08:16,774 --> 00:08:17,859
- No.
- Ever?
217
00:08:17,900 --> 00:08:19,402
- No.
- Okay.
218
00:08:19,444 --> 00:08:22,780
"WTF? You killed Dahlia?
219
00:08:22,822 --> 00:08:24,282
You made a podcast without us?
220
00:08:24,323 --> 00:08:27,160
Meet us outside in the corridor now."
221
00:08:28,870 --> 00:08:31,205
You're "Based on a
True Story," aren't you?
222
00:08:31,247 --> 00:08:32,290
The...
223
00:08:32,331 --> 00:08:35,043
"Based on a"... the...
the... the podcast?
224
00:08:35,084 --> 00:08:36,753
Ava, I-I just... I wanna help you.
225
00:08:36,794 --> 00:08:37,879
- Are you in danger?
- No.
226
00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:39,672
Because I... I called the number
227
00:08:39,714 --> 00:08:40,798
on this phone, and Matt answered.
228
00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:43,051
I don't... no. What?
229
00:08:43,092 --> 00:08:45,428
He's the Westside
fucking Ripper, isn't he?
230
00:08:45,470 --> 00:08:46,929
What is going on?
231
00:08:46,971 --> 00:08:48,389
- Okay...
- Why... why are you doing this?
232
00:08:48,431 --> 00:08:49,849
- Is... is he threatening you...
- It's not what you think.
233
00:08:49,849 --> 00:08:51,100
- Or Nathan?
- Oh, my God, no.
234
00:08:51,142 --> 00:08:53,352
It's not... it's not like that at all.
235
00:08:53,394 --> 00:08:55,271
No? Then what is it?
Because it says right here
236
00:08:55,313 --> 00:08:56,939
that he killed that girl in Vegas.
237
00:08:56,981 --> 00:08:58,775
Okay, is that why you
invited Matt tonight?
238
00:08:58,816 --> 00:09:00,068
So you could ask me about this?
239
00:09:00,109 --> 00:09:01,778
I mean, I invited him to find out
240
00:09:01,819 --> 00:09:03,446
if he's the guy so I...
so I could help you,
241
00:09:03,488 --> 00:09:05,198
but if you don't want my help,
I'll just go to the cops with...
242
00:09:05,239 --> 00:09:06,657
No, no, no. No, no,
no. No, no, no, no, no.
243
00:09:06,699 --> 00:09:08,826
There's no... we don't need
to... let's just all calm down.
244
00:09:08,868 --> 00:09:10,286
No cops. You don't need to call anybody.
245
00:09:10,328 --> 00:09:12,455
Oh, fuck. Okay. I'm
gonna tell you the truth.
246
00:09:12,497 --> 00:09:14,082
- Okay?
- Okay.
247
00:09:15,291 --> 00:09:16,751
Nathan and I are broke.
248
00:09:16,793 --> 00:09:18,878
We... we were gonna lose the house.
249
00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:20,338
- What?
- I know, and Matt was over,
250
00:09:20,380 --> 00:09:21,964
and we started talking, and it turns out
251
00:09:22,006 --> 00:09:25,134
he's a... he's this, like,
crime fanatic junkie like us.
252
00:09:25,176 --> 00:09:29,514
So the three of us decided
to make a fake podcast
253
00:09:29,555 --> 00:09:33,351
where Matt pretends to
be the Westside Ripper.
254
00:09:36,437 --> 00:09:40,149
So Matt is pretending
to be a serial killer?
255
00:09:40,191 --> 00:09:41,526
I know. When you say it like that,
256
00:09:41,567 --> 00:09:42,652
it sounds really bad, but...
257
00:09:42,693 --> 00:09:45,279
it-it's so bad and... and fucked up.
258
00:09:45,321 --> 00:09:47,281
I know it sounds like
that, but we were desperate,
259
00:09:47,323 --> 00:09:49,283
desperate, completely desperate, and...
260
00:09:49,325 --> 00:09:51,494
and then Matt, like, he
got, like, really into it,
261
00:09:51,536 --> 00:09:53,246
and he pretended he was the guy
262
00:09:53,287 --> 00:09:54,789
that pushed that girl off the roof.
263
00:09:54,831 --> 00:09:56,165
And people got obsessed.
264
00:09:56,207 --> 00:09:58,459
They couldn't get enough of it.
265
00:09:58,501 --> 00:10:01,629
So you're saying that
all of this is... is fake
266
00:10:01,671 --> 00:10:02,839
and that guy's just a plumber?
267
00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:06,551
- Yes!
- Because this looks pretty fucking real to me.
268
00:10:06,592 --> 00:10:07,760
Well, good.
269
00:10:07,802 --> 00:10:10,304
We... We got you.
270
00:10:10,346 --> 00:10:11,389
That's good.
271
00:10:11,431 --> 00:10:12,598
That...
272
00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:14,350
Come on.
273
00:10:14,392 --> 00:10:19,021
Do you think that I would be in
business with a real serial killer?
274
00:10:19,063 --> 00:10:22,024
I mean, you sound insane.
275
00:10:22,066 --> 00:10:24,694
That would be the biggest
fucking stupidest thing
276
00:10:24,736 --> 00:10:26,362
I could do, right?
277
00:10:26,404 --> 00:10:28,114
Right?
278
00:10:29,741 --> 00:10:30,867
- Yeah.
- Right.
279
00:10:30,908 --> 00:10:32,201
Please don't tell anybody.
280
00:10:32,243 --> 00:10:36,914
Truly, like, I... I literally
dragged Nathan into this shit show.
281
00:10:36,956 --> 00:10:38,416
There's a baby coming.
282
00:10:38,458 --> 00:10:41,169
Our lives could be over.
283
00:10:41,210 --> 00:10:42,420
Please.
284
00:10:44,422 --> 00:10:45,798
Okay.
285
00:10:45,840 --> 00:10:47,800
Okay. Yeah, no, no, no. I... I...
286
00:10:47,842 --> 00:10:48,885
I won't say a word.
287
00:10:48,926 --> 00:10:50,720
Thank you.
288
00:10:50,762 --> 00:10:53,139
- Thank you.
- Wow.
289
00:10:53,181 --> 00:10:56,225
I got to admit, this is...
this is kind of genius.
290
00:10:56,267 --> 00:10:58,770
"Based on a True Story"
is based on a fake story.
291
00:10:58,811 --> 00:11:00,855
- I know.
- I-I wish I'd thought of it.
292
00:11:00,897 --> 00:11:03,441
Yeah. Well, yeah. Well, yeah. Mm-hmm.
293
00:11:03,483 --> 00:11:04,776
Thank you.
294
00:11:05,943 --> 00:11:07,362
I got your back.
295
00:11:07,403 --> 00:11:10,573
- Thank you. Okay. Okay.
- Let's go back outside.
296
00:11:10,615 --> 00:11:13,618
Duke, Duke. Duke.
297
00:11:13,659 --> 00:11:14,659
- Duke.
- McEnroe. See?
298
00:11:14,660 --> 00:11:16,037
He likes McEnroe. McEnroe.
299
00:11:16,079 --> 00:11:17,580
McEnroe, right there.
300
00:11:18,748 --> 00:11:20,083
Good boy.
301
00:11:20,124 --> 00:11:21,793
Yes! Come on, buddy.
302
00:11:21,834 --> 00:11:23,503
- Come here. Come here.
- Come on, buddy.
303
00:11:27,382 --> 00:11:29,258
Come to me, Duke. Come to me, Duke.
304
00:11:31,219 --> 00:11:32,261
Good boy.
305
00:11:33,679 --> 00:11:34,972
- Ready? Go.
- Okay.
306
00:11:35,014 --> 00:11:37,141
I... I got it. Okay, here we go.
307
00:11:37,183 --> 00:11:38,518
Go get it.
308
00:11:38,519 --> 00:11:39,519
Here boy. Come on.
309
00:11:42,105 --> 00:11:43,815
- Here, boy. Come on.
- Duke.
310
00:11:43,856 --> 00:11:45,149
- Hey, hey.
- Come on.
311
00:11:45,191 --> 00:11:46,859
Bring it to me. Bring it to me, to me.
312
00:11:46,901 --> 00:11:49,070
- Me, me.
- McEnroe, look at me.
313
00:11:49,112 --> 00:11:51,489
Come here, pal. Come here, pal.
314
00:11:51,531 --> 00:11:52,573
Look at me. Come here.
315
00:11:52,615 --> 00:11:54,200
- Bring it to me. To me.
- Duke. Duke!
316
00:11:55,910 --> 00:11:58,121
Come to me, Duke. Come to me.
317
00:11:58,162 --> 00:12:00,748
Come to me. Come to me, Duke.
318
00:12:00,790 --> 00:12:03,084
Yay... oh!
319
00:12:03,126 --> 00:12:05,378
Aah!
320
00:12:10,842 --> 00:12:11,884
Help! Help!
321
00:12:25,356 --> 00:12:27,567
I'm gonna getcha outta here.
322
00:12:50,798 --> 00:12:52,091
- McEnroe.
- Duke.
323
00:12:52,133 --> 00:12:53,509
- McEnroe.
- Come to me. Come to me, Duke.
324
00:12:53,551 --> 00:12:54,886
- Bring it to me.
- Come to me. Come to me, Duke.
325
00:12:54,927 --> 00:12:56,262
- Duke!
- Look at me.
326
00:12:56,304 --> 00:12:57,304
- Come to me. Come to me.
- McEnroe.
327
00:12:57,305 --> 00:12:58,848
Come to me. Yeah, yeah.
328
00:12:58,890 --> 00:12:59,890
- Oh! Oh, don't...
- Good boy.
329
00:13:04,353 --> 00:13:05,980
Hey.
330
00:13:06,022 --> 00:13:07,815
Hi. Hi.
331
00:13:07,857 --> 00:13:10,026
You good?
332
00:13:10,068 --> 00:13:12,695
Um, yes.
333
00:13:12,737 --> 00:13:14,447
Yes, I'm good.
334
00:13:14,489 --> 00:13:17,200
Everybody, please take a seat inside.
335
00:13:17,241 --> 00:13:20,161
Dinner first, and then the auction.
336
00:13:22,246 --> 00:13:24,082
Yeah, he likes me so
much better than Simon.
337
00:13:24,123 --> 00:13:27,168
- I know.
- Let's get that fuckin' brick.
338
00:13:27,210 --> 00:13:30,797
Hey, did you call me before?
339
00:13:30,838 --> 00:13:32,715
Uh, it was a butt-dial, sorry.
340
00:13:32,757 --> 00:13:34,342
- Really?
- Yep.
341
00:13:34,384 --> 00:13:36,010
Where's the trust, partner?
342
00:13:42,767 --> 00:13:44,352
The same caterer did my... our wedding.
343
00:13:44,394 --> 00:13:46,437
- I didn't know that.
- Uh-huh.
344
00:13:46,479 --> 00:13:48,189
- That's right.
- Yeah.
345
00:13:48,231 --> 00:13:49,232
Hm?
346
00:13:49,273 --> 00:13:50,274
- Absolutely.
- It's great.
347
00:13:50,316 --> 00:13:51,316
- Okay.
- I wish he would take
348
00:13:51,317 --> 00:13:52,317
- an interest in my...
- I mean...
349
00:13:55,947 --> 00:13:57,949
- You tried your cake?
- No.
350
00:13:57,990 --> 00:13:59,075
Goodness.
351
00:13:59,117 --> 00:14:00,118
Thank you.
352
00:14:00,159 --> 00:14:01,619
Nice to see you.
353
00:14:01,661 --> 00:14:04,288
So are you a part of the crew now?
354
00:14:04,330 --> 00:14:05,957
Hey, did you crush those midterms?
355
00:14:05,998 --> 00:14:08,418
Yeah, I'm going to UCLA Law in the fall.
356
00:14:08,459 --> 00:14:10,712
- Oh, my God. Congrats.
- Yeah, thanks.
357
00:14:10,753 --> 00:14:12,296
So we're gonna see a lot more of you.
358
00:14:12,338 --> 00:14:14,340
- Yeah, a whole lot more.
- Awesome.
359
00:14:14,382 --> 00:14:16,342
"Crushed those midterms"?
360
00:14:16,384 --> 00:14:18,511
So a sign of the times,
I tried to put an ad
361
00:14:18,553 --> 00:14:21,848
on that hot true crime podcast,
"Based on a True Story."
362
00:14:21,889 --> 00:14:23,057
- Hot.
- Brilliant.
363
00:14:23,099 --> 00:14:24,267
Such a hot show.
364
00:14:24,308 --> 00:14:26,269
- Is that not a genius idea?
- Right?
365
00:14:26,310 --> 00:14:27,770
- Yeah.
- Amazing.
366
00:14:27,812 --> 00:14:29,355
- Brilliant.
- Yeah.
367
00:14:29,397 --> 00:14:31,065
- I love that.
- Oh, my gosh, it gets me hot.
368
00:14:31,107 --> 00:14:32,358
- So brilliant.
- It's so good.
369
00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:33,693
- I think it's fake.
- Oh, yeah?
370
00:14:33,735 --> 00:14:36,446
Yeah, like, the, um...
the Orson Welles thing?
371
00:14:36,487 --> 00:14:37,613
Uh, "War of the Worlds"?
372
00:14:37,655 --> 00:14:39,699
It could be just street theater.
373
00:14:39,741 --> 00:14:41,826
Absolutely not. Are you kidding me?
374
00:14:41,868 --> 00:14:43,161
You heard this guy's voice?
375
00:14:43,202 --> 00:14:44,787
That's a stabby voice.
376
00:14:44,829 --> 00:14:47,206
- What?
- I buy it 100%.
377
00:14:47,248 --> 00:14:48,875
- That guy is the killer.
- Mm.
378
00:14:48,916 --> 00:14:51,335
- You should just ask them.
- There's no chance.
379
00:14:51,377 --> 00:14:53,880
- Yeah.
- You never talk to anybody.
380
00:14:53,921 --> 00:14:55,173
- Oh.
- No, you...
381
00:14:55,214 --> 00:14:57,258
you email a shell corporation.
382
00:14:57,300 --> 00:14:58,801
You pay them in crypto.
383
00:14:58,843 --> 00:15:02,472
Nobody knows where they
are or who they are.
384
00:15:02,513 --> 00:15:05,016
- Wow.
- I wouldn't pay them a cent.
385
00:15:05,058 --> 00:15:07,894
Paul, the guy is killing people.
386
00:15:07,935 --> 00:15:09,687
Okay, Richard.
387
00:15:09,729 --> 00:15:13,524
Last time I checked, there is
still free speech in America.
388
00:15:13,566 --> 00:15:15,818
Okay, even if that speech is about
389
00:15:15,860 --> 00:15:17,320
how you just killed someone?
390
00:15:17,362 --> 00:15:18,654
Yeah, especially then.
391
00:15:18,696 --> 00:15:21,157
You... you wanna
outlaw offensive speech?
392
00:15:21,199 --> 00:15:22,867
Who decides what goes on the list?
393
00:15:22,909 --> 00:15:24,410
Me? You?
394
00:15:24,452 --> 00:15:28,206
I listen to it, and I think
it's totally fucking disgusting.
395
00:15:28,247 --> 00:15:29,916
I think that you're right.
396
00:15:29,957 --> 00:15:31,542
I think that it's all true.
397
00:15:31,584 --> 00:15:33,169
I think he's a serial killer.
398
00:15:33,211 --> 00:15:35,046
And I think the people
that are helping him
399
00:15:35,088 --> 00:15:36,672
are far worse than he is.
400
00:15:36,714 --> 00:15:38,591
- Oh. What people?
- Preach, sister.
401
00:15:38,633 --> 00:15:39,884
- There's an interviewer.
- Hm?
402
00:15:39,926 --> 00:15:41,427
- Don't say that.
- Right? I mean, somebody...
403
00:15:41,469 --> 00:15:42,845
- No, that's not your word.
- Has to be helping him.
404
00:15:42,887 --> 00:15:46,349
The Westside Ripper has
some kind of brain defect,
405
00:15:46,391 --> 00:15:48,851
but these parasites are
making money off of him.
406
00:15:48,893 --> 00:15:50,853
They should go to prison
longer than he does.
407
00:15:50,895 --> 00:15:53,106
That's a very good point.
408
00:15:53,147 --> 00:15:54,399
No, they really should.
409
00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:56,275
- Think about it.
- Mm.
410
00:15:56,317 --> 00:15:58,653
I don't know. I...
411
00:15:58,695 --> 00:16:00,863
there's nothing wrong with makin' money.
412
00:16:00,905 --> 00:16:03,074
I love money. You love money.
413
00:16:03,116 --> 00:16:04,617
You love money.
414
00:16:04,659 --> 00:16:06,077
Money's great.
415
00:16:06,119 --> 00:16:07,412
Puts food on the table,
416
00:16:07,453 --> 00:16:09,414
puts our kids through school.
417
00:16:09,455 --> 00:16:11,541
Carlos loves money. Right?
418
00:16:11,582 --> 00:16:12,834
What?
419
00:16:12,875 --> 00:16:17,338
Can't open your gym on the
East Coast without money, right?
420
00:16:17,380 --> 00:16:19,590
Uh, it certainly would help, yeah.
421
00:16:19,632 --> 00:16:22,552
Mm, guys, I think it's time
422
00:16:22,593 --> 00:16:24,762
to start bidding on the items, right?
423
00:16:24,804 --> 00:16:27,014
I just wanna say I love
Carlos' business plan.
424
00:16:27,056 --> 00:16:29,350
- Oh, my God.
- And I...
425
00:16:29,392 --> 00:16:30,768
I want to invest in it.
426
00:16:30,810 --> 00:16:33,771
Wait, you... you want
to invest in my gym?
427
00:16:33,813 --> 00:16:37,942
Yeah, I want to finance
the whole thing by myself.
428
00:16:39,277 --> 00:16:40,445
Well, that's...
429
00:16:40,486 --> 00:16:41,696
Wait, are you serious?
430
00:16:41,738 --> 00:16:42,947
100%.
431
00:16:42,989 --> 00:16:43,989
- Great.
- Yeah?
432
00:16:43,990 --> 00:16:45,074
When do we start?
433
00:16:46,993 --> 00:16:48,911
Now.
434
00:16:48,953 --> 00:16:50,913
What?
435
00:16:50,955 --> 00:16:52,790
Now.
436
00:16:52,832 --> 00:16:54,083
Like, right now.
437
00:16:54,125 --> 00:16:55,251
Immediately.
438
00:16:56,794 --> 00:16:57,879
Immediately?
439
00:16:57,920 --> 00:16:59,297
He's joking.
440
00:16:59,338 --> 00:17:01,340
He's just...
441
00:17:01,382 --> 00:17:03,593
Go pack a bag,
442
00:17:03,634 --> 00:17:05,053
go to LAX,
443
00:17:05,094 --> 00:17:07,847
get on the red-eye, go
to New York, get to work.
444
00:17:07,889 --> 00:17:10,433
It's gonna take a couple of years.
445
00:17:10,475 --> 00:17:12,226
I'm gonna need you there the whole time
446
00:17:12,268 --> 00:17:14,854
overseeing construction, the plans,
447
00:17:14,896 --> 00:17:18,399
and you're not gonna be
able to come back here ever.
448
00:17:23,863 --> 00:17:26,324
Why you doing this?
449
00:17:26,366 --> 00:17:28,785
- Hm?
- Hm?
450
00:17:28,826 --> 00:17:30,912
Why are you doing this right now?
451
00:17:30,953 --> 00:17:32,205
Is it 'cause I invited him?
452
00:17:32,246 --> 00:17:35,124
What?
453
00:17:35,166 --> 00:17:36,667
I believe in Carlos.
454
00:17:36,709 --> 00:17:38,836
I like Carlos' business plan.
455
00:17:38,878 --> 00:17:41,964
Unless there's something
that Carlos loves
456
00:17:42,006 --> 00:17:45,176
more than money here in LA.
457
00:17:45,218 --> 00:17:46,386
Then he should stay.
458
00:17:49,722 --> 00:17:51,682
Okay.
459
00:17:51,724 --> 00:17:55,478
I just transferred you $250,000.
460
00:17:55,479 --> 00:17:56,479
What?
461
00:18:03,569 --> 00:18:06,572
When I get my investment
back, we'll go 50/50.
462
00:18:06,614 --> 00:18:09,409
If it works out, I'll
finance a national rollout,
463
00:18:09,450 --> 00:18:12,412
but you gotta go right now.
464
00:18:20,420 --> 00:18:21,420
You don't have to go.
465
00:18:21,421 --> 00:18:24,257
Babe, please, stay for me.
466
00:18:24,298 --> 00:18:25,758
You gotta go, Carlos.
467
00:18:28,136 --> 00:18:29,303
I'm sorry.
468
00:18:30,221 --> 00:18:32,181
Oh.
469
00:18:44,569 --> 00:18:47,071
Are you fucking insane?
470
00:18:51,325 --> 00:18:53,453
Why would you do that?
471
00:18:53,494 --> 00:18:55,913
Why the fuck do you even care?
472
00:18:59,292 --> 00:19:01,002
God.
473
00:19:02,295 --> 00:19:03,463
Hey, buddy.
474
00:19:03,504 --> 00:19:05,006
You got some interesting friends.
475
00:19:05,048 --> 00:19:08,426
Okay, let's help some teen runaways!
476
00:19:10,136 --> 00:19:12,305
Oh, my God.
477
00:19:12,346 --> 00:19:14,182
I cannot believe that happened.
478
00:19:15,725 --> 00:19:16,725
You okay?
479
00:19:16,726 --> 00:19:18,227
I know you really loved Carlos.
480
00:19:18,269 --> 00:19:19,771
Oh, fuck Carlos.
481
00:19:19,812 --> 00:19:21,522
I never loved Carlos,
482
00:19:21,564 --> 00:19:24,692
but fuck him for leaving.
483
00:19:24,734 --> 00:19:28,279
Well, I mean, we all know
you're gonna be just fine.
484
00:19:28,321 --> 00:19:30,198
- Will I?
- Yes.
485
00:19:30,239 --> 00:19:33,117
'Cause I feel like I'm
pretty fucked right now.
486
00:19:33,159 --> 00:19:37,163
Ava, look at my life right now.
487
00:19:37,205 --> 00:19:38,748
Take a good look.
488
00:19:38,790 --> 00:19:41,125
You gotta let me in on the podcast.
489
00:19:41,167 --> 00:19:43,836
Okay? It's... it's
literally all that I got.
490
00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:48,132
Okay, uh, maybe we should
talk about this another time.
491
00:19:48,174 --> 00:19:50,176
No, no, no, 'cause...
'cause I can help you.
492
00:19:50,218 --> 00:19:52,387
You know, you... you know
I'm great with marketing.
493
00:19:52,428 --> 00:19:54,972
Right? And branding,
and I know this world.
494
00:19:55,014 --> 00:19:57,392
And we're the "Wine
& Crime" girls, right?
495
00:19:57,433 --> 00:19:58,935
- Yeah, I can't do this.
- Oh, well, I...
496
00:19:58,976 --> 00:20:00,853
because do you remember that guy...
497
00:20:00,895 --> 00:20:02,772
that guy that I had a thing
with in Cabo last year?
498
00:20:02,814 --> 00:20:05,233
'Cause he's huge at Wondery,
499
00:20:05,274 --> 00:20:06,359
and... and he's married,
500
00:20:06,401 --> 00:20:07,777
so he definitely owes me a solid.
501
00:20:07,819 --> 00:20:09,946
I can get him to make
us a preemptive offer,
502
00:20:09,987 --> 00:20:12,657
you know, probably a
really, really big one.
503
00:20:12,699 --> 00:20:14,283
- Oh, my God.
- Yes.
504
00:20:14,325 --> 00:20:18,663
So some guy is gonna make us
a multimillion-dollar offer
505
00:20:18,705 --> 00:20:20,498
because he went down on you in Cabo?
506
00:20:20,540 --> 00:20:23,376
Yeah, that is how the world works.
507
00:20:23,418 --> 00:20:25,253
How do you not know that?
508
00:20:25,294 --> 00:20:27,046
Okay, just trust me.
509
00:20:27,088 --> 00:20:29,132
You shouldn't get involved
in this 'cause it's a mess.
510
00:20:29,173 --> 00:20:30,508
Okay, hold on.
511
00:20:30,550 --> 00:20:31,676
Don't come at me like
you're my friend now.
512
00:20:31,718 --> 00:20:34,804
- What?
- No, I know exactly what's going on.
513
00:20:34,846 --> 00:20:37,557
I mean, I know Matt's the killer.
514
00:20:37,598 --> 00:20:39,892
I have no fucking idea
what you're talking about.
515
00:20:39,934 --> 00:20:41,352
Okay.
516
00:20:41,394 --> 00:20:42,937
So if I took Matt's wine glass
517
00:20:42,979 --> 00:20:44,689
and took it down to the police station,
518
00:20:44,731 --> 00:20:48,025
you're telling me that his
DNA wouldn't be an exact match
519
00:20:48,067 --> 00:20:49,527
to the Westside Ripper?
520
00:20:52,739 --> 00:20:54,741
If you tell a single person about this,
521
00:20:54,782 --> 00:20:57,493
I will fucking end you.
522
00:20:57,535 --> 00:20:59,120
But I already told Simon.
523
00:21:00,538 --> 00:21:02,415
- What?
- Yeah.
524
00:21:02,457 --> 00:21:04,417
- I told him.
- You told...
525
00:21:04,459 --> 00:21:06,044
you told Simon? Are you insane?
526
00:21:06,085 --> 00:21:08,379
- Why would you do that?
- Because he's a lawyer,
527
00:21:08,421 --> 00:21:09,797
and he will protect me!
528
00:21:09,839 --> 00:21:12,050
Oh, my God. He's not gonna protect you.
529
00:21:12,091 --> 00:21:14,510
He fucking hates you. He
hates everything about you!
530
00:21:14,552 --> 00:21:16,721
Oh, sweetie.
531
00:21:16,763 --> 00:21:18,139
That's just married talk.
532
00:21:18,181 --> 00:21:19,682
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I can't believe
533
00:21:19,724 --> 00:21:22,810
you would be stupid enough
to fucking tell Simon!
534
00:21:22,852 --> 00:21:25,188
Oh, I absolutely am that stupid.
535
00:21:25,229 --> 00:21:26,731
And why not?
536
00:21:26,773 --> 00:21:29,942
I mean, it's worked pretty
well for me so far, right?
537
00:21:29,984 --> 00:21:31,444
Tell me something.
538
00:21:31,486 --> 00:21:36,908
Who's the one living in a
mansion in the Palisades,
539
00:21:36,949 --> 00:21:39,452
and who can't afford their
mortgage in Mar Vista?
540
00:21:40,578 --> 00:21:42,121
Okay, you listen to me,
541
00:21:42,163 --> 00:21:44,665
you with your little 400 calories a day,
542
00:21:44,707 --> 00:21:46,876
your cool sculpt, and
your amazing blowjobs
543
00:21:46,918 --> 00:21:48,002
you can't stop bragging about...
544
00:21:48,044 --> 00:21:50,088
- They are amazing.
- Well,
545
00:21:50,129 --> 00:21:52,757
not amazing enough
to keep Carlos around.
546
00:21:52,799 --> 00:21:54,592
So if you wanna go steal
547
00:21:54,634 --> 00:21:56,427
the Westside Ripper's wine glass,
548
00:21:56,469 --> 00:21:57,887
good fucking luck.
549
00:21:57,929 --> 00:21:59,013
Fuck you.
550
00:21:59,055 --> 00:22:00,765
Fuck you, 'cause Nathan will bring me in
551
00:22:00,807 --> 00:22:03,601
'cause he is nothing like you!
552
00:22:03,643 --> 00:22:05,603
He will cut me in!
553
00:22:05,645 --> 00:22:08,147
And my blowjobs are the fucking best!
554
00:22:09,399 --> 00:22:12,443
Everyone in LA knows it...
555
00:22:12,485 --> 00:22:13,778
and Dubai.
556
00:22:17,399 --> 00:22:19,492
900, $900. Ladies and gentlemen,
557
00:22:19,534 --> 00:22:22,704
it would be a dream within
a dream if we got to $1,000.
558
00:22:22,745 --> 00:22:25,498
Do I hear 1, $1,000
559
00:22:25,540 --> 00:22:26,749
for the Edgar Allan Poe brick.
560
00:22:26,791 --> 00:22:28,000
How 'bout a 1,200? Who'll do a 1,200?
561
00:22:28,042 --> 00:22:29,460
There's a fan of blood
and murder for 1,200.
562
00:22:29,502 --> 00:22:31,295
Hey, can I talk to you for a second?
563
00:22:31,337 --> 00:22:33,214
Hold on, these fuckers are
trying to steal your brick.
564
00:22:33,256 --> 00:22:34,674
- $1,300.
- Okay, but...
565
00:22:34,716 --> 00:22:37,385
I need you for one second.
566
00:22:37,427 --> 00:22:39,053
- We're gonna lose the brick.
- I don't care.
567
00:22:39,095 --> 00:22:40,763
Just come on.
568
00:22:40,805 --> 00:22:42,098
So here's the thing... don't panic
569
00:22:42,140 --> 00:22:43,808
when I tell you this...
but I lost the burner.
570
00:22:43,850 --> 00:22:44,850
- What?
- I got it back,
571
00:22:44,851 --> 00:22:45,852
but I dropped it in Vegas,
572
00:22:45,893 --> 00:22:47,270
and then Ruby, she found it,
573
00:22:47,311 --> 00:22:48,406
and now she's blackmailing us...
574
00:22:48,407 --> 00:22:49,408
- Oh, my fucking God.
- and wants in on everything.
575
00:22:49,408 --> 00:22:50,523
- Ruby?
- Yes.
576
00:22:50,524 --> 00:22:51,524
How did you not know you dropped it?
577
00:22:51,525 --> 00:22:53,526
It was an accident! Okay?
We had been using yours.
578
00:22:53,568 --> 00:22:54,652
I barely use mine. I thought it was
579
00:22:54,694 --> 00:22:55,903
in my bag, but it fell out.
580
00:22:55,945 --> 00:22:57,363
I know I fucked up, but
she knows everything.
581
00:22:57,405 --> 00:22:59,198
She knows that Matt
is the Westside Ripper,
582
00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:01,159
and she told me that she told Simon.
583
00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:03,911
- She told Simon?
- Well, she might be bluffing.
584
00:23:03,953 --> 00:23:05,663
- I don't fuckin' know, but...
- This is fine. It's fine.
585
00:23:05,705 --> 00:23:06,873
We're gonna figure this out.
586
00:23:06,914 --> 00:23:08,166
But this place is toxic.
587
00:23:08,207 --> 00:23:09,792
Okay? I'm telling you,
it's fucking toxic.
588
00:23:09,834 --> 00:23:12,045
They're nuts. I'm taking
McEnroe outta here.
589
00:23:12,086 --> 00:23:13,963
Babe, who fucking cares
about the dog right now?
590
00:23:14,005 --> 00:23:15,506
Just forget the fuckin' dog.
591
00:23:15,548 --> 00:23:17,091
We have bigger problems.
592
00:23:18,593 --> 00:23:20,053
- What? What?
- Oh, shit.
593
00:23:20,094 --> 00:23:23,097
Alba, she just came out against us.
594
00:23:23,139 --> 00:23:24,307
No, not Alba.
595
00:23:24,348 --> 00:23:25,558
Jessica Alba just tweeted,
596
00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:27,935
"If #BasedOnATrueStory
is true, it's sickening.
597
00:23:27,977 --> 00:23:29,437
If it's fake, it might be even worse.
598
00:23:29,479 --> 00:23:30,730
America, we're better than this.
599
00:23:30,772 --> 00:23:33,483
#CancelBasedOnATrueStory."
600
00:23:33,524 --> 00:23:35,068
Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no.
601
00:23:35,109 --> 00:23:36,986
Okay, oh, fuck, fuck, fuck. Oh, my God.
602
00:23:37,028 --> 00:23:38,028
Okay, maybe it's not gonna track.
603
00:23:38,029 --> 00:23:39,655
Maybe no one's gonna pick this up.
604
00:23:39,697 --> 00:23:42,075
Oh, shit. Malia Obama just retweeted it.
605
00:23:43,117 --> 00:23:45,078
Oh, my God, so did Tom Hanks.
606
00:23:45,119 --> 00:23:47,288
- Kylie Jenner.
- Oh, my God.
607
00:23:47,330 --> 00:23:49,165
So did Dame Judi Dench.
608
00:23:49,207 --> 00:23:51,084
- Oh, I'm so sorry, babe.
- Oh, my God.
609
00:23:51,125 --> 00:23:53,586
- I know you love her.
- Are you seeing this shit?
610
00:23:53,628 --> 00:23:54,796
- Yes.
- We're gonna get canceled?
611
00:23:54,837 --> 00:23:57,924
- Alba fucked us.
- Okay, is there anyone that's for us?
612
00:23:57,965 --> 00:23:59,509
- For us? Um...
- Who is? Look.
613
00:23:59,550 --> 00:24:00,760
- Kanye?
- Okay, Kanye?
614
00:24:00,802 --> 00:24:02,220
Ugh, that's not good.
615
00:24:02,261 --> 00:24:03,262
The dude from NXIVM.
616
00:24:03,304 --> 00:24:04,555
Josh Duggar?
617
00:24:04,597 --> 00:24:05,890
Jared from Subway.
618
00:24:05,932 --> 00:24:07,141
- That's not good.
- That's bad.
619
00:24:07,183 --> 00:24:08,226
No.
620
00:24:08,267 --> 00:24:09,936
This is fuckin' awful.
621
00:24:09,977 --> 00:24:11,104
There goes iTunes.
622
00:24:11,145 --> 00:24:12,438
- We lost iTunes?
- Yes.
623
00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:13,564
Okay.
624
00:24:13,606 --> 00:24:14,816
Okay, here's what we're gonna do.
625
00:24:14,857 --> 00:24:16,359
You and me, we're gettin' outta here.
626
00:24:16,401 --> 00:24:17,944
We're takin' the dog. We'll
call you from the road.
627
00:24:17,985 --> 00:24:19,404
You're taking the fucking dog?
628
00:24:19,445 --> 00:24:20,446
Our brand is under attack.
629
00:24:20,488 --> 00:24:21,739
We gotta act now.
630
00:24:21,781 --> 00:24:23,616
Here's our play, okay?
631
00:24:23,658 --> 00:24:25,159
The snowflakes can suck it.
632
00:24:25,201 --> 00:24:27,704
We're gonna double down
just like our fans want.
633
00:24:27,745 --> 00:24:29,038
- I'm gonna go out tonight...
- No.
634
00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:31,916
- And I will...
- We are not doing that, okay?
635
00:24:31,958 --> 00:24:33,793
We have to do something,
but we are not doing that.
636
00:24:33,835 --> 00:24:34,835
You guys, if we don't do something,
637
00:24:34,836 --> 00:24:37,130
we are gonna lose the Spotify deal.
638
00:24:37,171 --> 00:24:38,840
Do you understand? So what do we do?
639
00:24:38,881 --> 00:24:40,466
Wait, wait. Hold on a second.
640
00:24:40,508 --> 00:24:41,676
Wait a minute. Doesn't...
641
00:24:41,718 --> 00:24:44,846
doesn't Ruby know Alba?
642
00:24:44,887 --> 00:24:48,391
Yes. You know what? She was
her body double in "Spy Kids 4."
643
00:24:48,433 --> 00:24:49,600
Remember, she had the
wig and the costume on
644
00:24:49,642 --> 00:24:50,810
one night after shooting?
645
00:24:50,852 --> 00:24:52,437
She loves to hold that over me.
646
00:24:52,478 --> 00:24:53,646
She went down on Kid Rock.
647
00:24:53,688 --> 00:24:54,897
- Someone took a photo.
- Yeah.
648
00:24:54,939 --> 00:24:56,733
Why don't we get Ruby to tell Alba
649
00:24:56,774 --> 00:24:58,484
that we'll release the fuckin' photo
650
00:24:58,526 --> 00:24:59,819
unless she pulls the post?
651
00:24:59,861 --> 00:25:00,987
Why would Alba care?
652
00:25:01,029 --> 00:25:02,155
It's not her in the picture.
653
00:25:02,196 --> 00:25:03,948
It doesn't matter. It looks like her.
654
00:25:03,990 --> 00:25:05,825
No, the tweet's out
there. It's taken flight.
655
00:25:05,867 --> 00:25:07,035
You go talk to Ruby.
656
00:25:07,076 --> 00:25:08,327
I'll find out what Simon knows.
657
00:25:08,369 --> 00:25:10,621
Ruby's not gonna do
shit for us right now.
658
00:25:10,663 --> 00:25:12,665
- Trust me.
- It's all we fuckin' got,
659
00:25:12,707 --> 00:25:14,208
guys. Let's go. Go.
660
00:25:14,250 --> 00:25:16,502
Big man, everyone!
661
00:25:17,545 --> 00:25:19,338
Big fuckin' man.
662
00:25:19,380 --> 00:25:22,425
What kind of control freak
buys his wife's boyfriend, huh?
663
00:25:22,467 --> 00:25:23,968
You're the one who invited him, honey,
664
00:25:24,010 --> 00:25:25,136
in front of all of our friends.
665
00:25:25,178 --> 00:25:26,721
Yeah, you know why? You know why?
666
00:25:26,763 --> 00:25:29,057
'Cause you can't get it up
unless you call me "Mommy."
667
00:25:29,098 --> 00:25:31,017
Do you guys know that?
What's up with that?
668
00:25:31,059 --> 00:25:33,352
You miss sucking on
Mommy's titties, huh?
669
00:25:33,394 --> 00:25:35,855
Yes! Yes, I do!
670
00:25:35,897 --> 00:25:37,315
You know what? I actually like
671
00:25:37,356 --> 00:25:39,650
sucking Mom's tits better than yours!
672
00:25:39,692 --> 00:25:41,235
Guys, that's not great
673
00:25:41,277 --> 00:25:42,653
- for the dog.
- Or anyone.
674
00:25:42,695 --> 00:25:45,990
Even if I stitched Michael
Fassbender's foreskin
675
00:25:46,032 --> 00:25:47,909
onto Orlando Bloom's dick...
676
00:25:47,950 --> 00:25:50,036
And Frankensteined the perfect penis,
677
00:25:50,078 --> 00:25:51,954
I still couldn't get it up for you!
678
00:25:51,996 --> 00:25:53,331
Are you gonna finally stroke out
679
00:25:53,373 --> 00:25:56,042
and leave me with all
your daddy's money, huh?
680
00:25:56,084 --> 00:25:59,796
Come on. Come on, McEnroe. Come on.
681
00:25:59,837 --> 00:26:03,007
Okay, stay here, and stay quiet.
682
00:26:03,049 --> 00:26:04,425
I'm gonna get you outta here tonight.
683
00:26:04,467 --> 00:26:05,510
Okay? Yeah.
684
00:26:05,551 --> 00:26:07,053
You think that hurt me?
685
00:26:07,095 --> 00:26:08,888
You think sending him away hurt me?
686
00:26:08,930 --> 00:26:10,223
- Okay!
- You can't fucking hurt me.
687
00:26:10,264 --> 00:26:11,808
What do you want? You want the spa day
688
00:26:11,849 --> 00:26:13,142
at the Peninsula, honey, huh?
689
00:26:13,184 --> 00:26:14,352
Do you want the deep tissue?
690
00:26:14,394 --> 00:26:16,062
Do you want me to buy that for you?
691
00:26:16,104 --> 00:26:17,772
You're gonna continue to buy my love!
692
00:26:17,814 --> 00:26:19,273
You're a fucking monster,
693
00:26:19,315 --> 00:26:21,275
and you've never loved anything
694
00:26:21,317 --> 00:26:24,028
in your entire life except that dog!
695
00:26:24,070 --> 00:26:26,406
That's it! How pathetic
is that, everyone?
696
00:26:26,447 --> 00:26:28,908
- So now it's the dog's fault?
- Oh, sure!
697
00:26:28,950 --> 00:26:30,201
Yeah, it's the dog's fault!
698
00:26:30,243 --> 00:26:32,036
Sure, it's the fucking dog's fault!
699
00:26:32,078 --> 00:26:33,371
You want me to shut the dog up?
700
00:26:33,413 --> 00:26:35,206
Yeah, go shut the fucking dog up!
701
00:26:35,248 --> 00:26:37,083
Okay. I'll shut the fucking dog up!
702
00:26:37,125 --> 00:26:38,125
Do you need Mommy's help?
703
00:26:38,126 --> 00:26:39,836
You think you can handle that?
704
00:26:39,837 --> 00:26:40,837
You got that, hon?
705
00:26:40,837 --> 00:26:42,422
Goddamn it!
706
00:26:42,463 --> 00:26:44,841
Hey, I know this is a terrible time.
707
00:26:44,882 --> 00:26:48,052
I'm so sorry, but, um, you're
friends with Jessica Alba, right?
708
00:26:48,094 --> 00:26:49,846
- Yeah.
- You are?
709
00:26:49,887 --> 00:26:52,056
Yeah, she's really sweet, actually.
710
00:26:52,098 --> 00:26:54,100
- Um...
- Fuck off and die!
711
00:26:55,226 --> 00:26:56,227
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
712
00:26:56,269 --> 00:26:57,937
Oh, my God. Oh, no.
713
00:26:57,979 --> 00:26:59,397
No.
714
00:26:59,439 --> 00:27:01,274
- What's he doing?
- Someone...
715
00:27:01,315 --> 00:27:03,109
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
716
00:27:03,151 --> 00:27:04,861
- Uh...
- No, you should stay here.
717
00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:07,780
Wait...
718
00:27:07,822 --> 00:27:09,115
He's got a gun.
719
00:27:09,157 --> 00:27:10,283
- He's got a gun.
- Oh, my God.
720
00:27:10,324 --> 00:27:11,868
Oh, my God.
721
00:27:11,909 --> 00:27:12,909
Watch out. Watch out!
722
00:27:12,910 --> 00:27:15,079
Oh, my God.
723
00:27:15,121 --> 00:27:16,748
What did you do?
724
00:27:18,833 --> 00:27:20,460
I shut the dog up.
725
00:27:22,295 --> 00:27:24,922
Oh, no.
726
00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:29,343
I shut it up.
727
00:27:29,385 --> 00:27:30,636
Oh, my God.
728
00:27:30,678 --> 00:27:32,638
Simon, please put that down.
729
00:27:34,682 --> 00:27:39,437
- What the fuck did you...
- I shut the fucking dog up is what I did.
730
00:27:45,985 --> 00:27:49,322
Okay, easy, please. Please, please.
731
00:27:49,364 --> 00:27:53,326
No, no, no.
732
00:28:05,963 --> 00:28:10,009
I'm gonna come around you, okay?
733
00:28:10,051 --> 00:28:15,348
Hey. Just focus on me.
734
00:28:15,390 --> 00:28:17,558
All right?
735
00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:20,478
That's good. That's good.
736
00:28:20,520 --> 00:28:24,524
Man, you must be in shock.
737
00:28:27,735 --> 00:28:30,530
You're not a bad person.
738
00:28:30,571 --> 00:28:34,450
We all have anger in us.
739
00:28:34,492 --> 00:28:36,869
I know. It's okay.
740
00:28:36,911 --> 00:28:38,079
It's okay. It's all right.
741
00:28:38,121 --> 00:28:39,622
It's good. Yeah, yeah. That's good.
742
00:28:39,664 --> 00:28:40,664
You don't wanna do this.
743
00:28:40,665 --> 00:28:42,917
Yeah. That's good.
744
00:28:42,959 --> 00:28:44,877
McEnroe!
745
00:28:47,213 --> 00:28:48,881
- Okay, Tory.
- You all right?
746
00:28:48,923 --> 00:28:50,049
I got you.
747
00:28:50,091 --> 00:28:51,091
I got you.
748
00:28:51,092 --> 00:28:52,385
He just lost his mind?
749
00:28:52,427 --> 00:28:55,888
Oh, no!
750
00:28:55,930 --> 00:28:57,724
I'm so sorry.
751
00:30:12,632 --> 00:30:14,133
Nice shot, Dad.
52735
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