All language subtitles for Never.Have_.I.Ever_.S04E10.720p.WEB_.h264-EDITH

It happened at exactly 2:30 p.m.
on the last day of school.

This is the outfit Devi wore.

This is the car she drove.

This is the lunch she ate.

'Sup, clean sweep?

Shut up.

And this is the moment
Devi Vishwakumar got into Princeton.

I'm in! Guys, they let me in!

- Really?
- What?

Oh my God, congratulations!

She would call her mom

and be forced to FaceTime
her cousins in India soon enough,

but first, there was someone else
she was dying to tell.

What's going on? Why do you look weird?

I'm off the wait-list.
I got into Princeton.

What?

Holy shit, David. That's awesome.

Congratulations.

Although I really deserve the credit
for making you write that essay.

Okay, whatever.

So maybe we could
celebrate sometime over the summer?

Oh.

I'd love that, but I'm actually going away
for the summer.

Oh my God, are you getting
that Chad surgery I told you about?

The one that gives you
a Hemsworth jawline?

What? No, I don't need that.

I'm the perfect combination
of boyish and handsome.

But yeah, I'm leaving
right after graduation

to take an internship
at a law firm in New York.

Oh. Wow. Uh...

You're, like, "leaving" leaving.

So... is this it?

I mean, I'll see you at graduation,
but... yeah, I guess so.

Oh.

Well, damn, we've been enemies
for, like, 12 years.

Crazy to think it's... all just over.

I know. I'm gonna miss having a nemesis.

Well, you'll probably meet someone
you hate in college

and forget all about me.

Nah. I don't think that's possible.

Wow. Really is the end of an era.

I don't know what I'm gonna do
now that the Three Musketeers are over.

Maybe we should just plan on doing
a monthly Zoom hang or something.

We'll figure it out. Let's go to class.

Devi's victory was bittersweet.

The thing she wanted most in the world
was in the palm of her hands,

but something else she wanted
seemed to be slipping away.

Ah! Congrats, guys!

Graduation day came,

and for someone like Devi,

who in these last four years
had experienced

some of the lowest lows
and highest highs imaginable,

crossing the finish line
with her best friends

felt like a moment of uncomplicated joy.

She also happened
to be named valedictorian,

giving her a decisive victory
in her long-standing rivalry with Ben.

But for the first time,

she didn't feel like
rubbing his nose in it.

The next day, Ben left for New York,

so Devi proceeded to have
an epic last summer with her besties.

And before she knew it,

it was the last weekend before college,

and a lot was going on.

All right, not to turn this mehndi
into a logistical meeting,

but we have a very packed weekend.

Nirmala Mami,
I just wanna thank you once again

for planning your wedding
the same weekend Devi goes to college.

You must thank my astrologer.

She said it was a very auspicious day
for sensuality.

I'm sure it is.

Uh, okay. Bah, bah, bah, bah...

They already put the tent up
in the backyard.

Oh. Nirmala Mami, do you have everything
you need for tomorrow?

Yes, I picked up all my wedding jewels.

I'm so excited to wear a thali again

so that those bachelors at bingo
will finally realize I'm a taken woman.

Hmm. Hey, Mom,
shouldn't you be taking off your thali

now that you have a zaddy boyf?

Devi, you can't ask that.

Oh no. No, it's fine.

Andres actually doesn't really care
that I wear it,

and honestly, I'm just so used to it.

Anyway, moving right along.

Devi, you have to pack tonight.

Look at me.
We leave at 6 a.m. Sunday morning,

and tomorrow Aravind Uncle
is sleeping in your room.

And, you know,
with the sleep apnea machine setup,

you will not get access to your closet.

Yes, you have told me a billion times.

And yet you have waited
until the last minute to do it.

And I have dragged in
that big suitcase from the garage.

Please don't give me that look.
It has one good wheel.

Oh, I can't believe
my baby cousin's going off to college.

Maybe once you're moved in,

Manish and I can come visit
from Baltimore?

Yeah. How about I come visit you, Kamala?

I don't need yet another friend group
of mine to know I have a hot cousin.

But speaking of friends...

Mom, is it still cool if I have El and Fab
come over tonight?

Please? Please?

Fine. But only for an hour

because I promise you, Devi,
if you do not pack tonight,

I'll put you in that suitcase Mafia-style.

Oh my God.

Guys, is this gonna be the last time
we watch The Masked Singer together

before you both leave?

El, you can't keep crying over our lasts.

It was so awkward at Yogurtland yesterday.

But that was the last time
you're gonna be yelled at

for taking too many samples.

It's gonna be fine.

We're gonna see each other a ton,
like when we come back for Thanksgiving.

Oh, I'm actually not coming back
for Thanksgiving.

I have a robotics competition.

But I... I'm back at Christmas.

No.

Sharon planned a cruise
to Alaska at Christmas.

She got a good deal
because it's gonna be dark the whole time.

Okay, okay, it's fine.
What about... a classic spring break?

Great. April it is.

No, my spring break's in March.

So, what does that leave? Next summer?

No, that's a year away.
That can't be right.

Okay, girls, time to wrap it up.

It's late,
and Devi has a lot to do tonight.

No. That was way too fast.
I'm not ready to say goodbye yet.

Then you don't have to.
Why don't you all come to my wedding?

We could use
some more attractive young people.

Who's your handsome friend?
Uh, what's his name? Carfax?

- Paxton?
- Yes. Bring him too.

I'd love to see his face
in my wedding album.

Thank you so much, Pati.

And I will see you bitches tomorrow.

Devi, language.

It's feminist to call a girl a bitch now.

Devi had wanted
to go to Princeton

for the better part of her life,

but the thought of packing this suitcase

was making her break into a cold sweat,
and she had no idea why.

Okay, what do we need? What do we need?

Shoe.

Yeah, I bet there'll be
some walking there.

And maybe some school supplies...

because it is a school.

So it turns out we're a pretty good team
for two people who hate each other.

I don't hate you.

I just think you're pretentious
and unlikable.

Since their last conversation,
Devi had thought of Ben often,

but had texted him little.

She didn't wanna be the sad thirst bucket
who was pining after someone

who'd already moved on with his life.

But every now and then,
she couldn't help herself.

Mmm.

Yeah, I got a good start there.
I'll hit it hard in the morning.

And speaking of hitting it hard
in the morning,

it was 1 a.m. in New York,

and Ben and the other interns
from his firm

were at their favorite club,

which incidentally, was the only club
that would accept their fake IDs.

Thank you, sweetheart.
Hey, can you break this hundo for me?

- Sure. You got it.
- Keep five for yourself.

It was on nights like these,
that he thought about Devi the most.

Found a gem from Model UN.

Uh-oh, David,
you nuking someone tonight?

Nah, can't obliterate the Valley
before Pati's wedding.

Too bad you're not here.
She invited all my friends.

- Oh, man, I wish I...
- The thing is...

- Dude. Come on.
- I'm sorry, bro.

Uh... Yo, look what I texted
that girl, Chelsea.

- I'm being so rude to her.
- Wait, I thought you liked her.

I do. But that's why I'm negging her.

Aren't you worried that she'll move on
to someone who's nice to her?

Nah. That's not how it works.

Dude, trust me.
I know what I'm talking about.

If you know what you're talking about,

then why is it always just the four of us
every weekend with no girls in sight?

Oh, all right, Mr. Friggin' Big Shot.

Last girl you liked,
you just told her straight up?

Well, I...

Uh...

No. No, I... I didn't.

Because it sucks.

No, it doesn't suck. It's just... scary.

Pussy.

You look beautiful, Mami.

I know I do.

Hey, yo, my peeps.

Hi!

Everyone looks amazing.

Fab, El, gorgeous Indian drip.

Thanks for loaning us these lewks.

I think I'm gonna start wearing
this many jewels in my normal life.

And, Miss Thompson,
welcome to my home-slash-tent.

Oh, Devi, you can just call me Lindsay.

I'm not your teacher anymore,
and I'm dating your friend.

- Thanks for inviting us.
- My plezh.

Now, this is our last night together,
so we have to grab this party by the balls

and just squeeze
every last drop of fun out of it.

- I heard it, unsuccessful metaphor.
- Yes, it was.

But listen,

looks like there's a really old bartender
and a really cool bartender.

I think the really cool bartender
will serve us drinks.

Nah, cool bartenders
are never cool people.

But old bartenders think that everyone
from 15 to 40 is the same age.

- Okay, well, old bartender it is.
- What about the old bartender?

That I think I saw him sneeze
into someone's drink.

Oh my God.
Enough chitchatting with your friends.

We have a lot of elderly guests
to say hello to.

Mr. Mahalingam.

Devi, how brave of you
to move 3,000 miles away

from everything and everyone
you've ever known.

Are you nervous? I would be.

So if you're going to college tomorrow,

that kind of makes tonight
the last night of your childhood.

How do you feel about that?

Why would you go away to school?

What if no one likes you there?

Who will comfort you?

Not your family
because they're too far away.

Well, not all of her family's
too far away.

- Manish and I are just down the coast.
- Hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Sweetheart, stop gabbing.

- Let's go to the buffet.
- Oh yeah.

Yeah, now I know
why Pati and her are frenemies.

Yeah.

Here, your sari is looking a little loose.
Let me retie you.

It's nice that Pati
let you invite so many friends.

- Mmm.
- But where's Ben?

Oh. Uh, he actually left already.

He went to go do an internship
at some douchey law firm in New York City.

That's too bad.

So, did anything end up happening
between you two after I left?

What? No.

Why would it?

Uh, maybe because he showed up
at our house with flowers.

Okay, yeah, dude, 'cause he was on drugs.

Uh, dude, people get really honest
when they're on drugs.

You should see me after I've had NyQuil.
It's like hot dick city.

Okay, yeah.
Well, I think it was just one weird night.

I'm pretty sure he just...
sees me as a friend.

Okay, well, even as friends,

he was dropping by unannounced
kind of a lot.

And how many times can two people

be randomly assigned
to do group projects together?

You know what, Kamala?

I may not have any siblings,

but... you've been
a really great big sister to me.

I'm sorry I was such a brat
when you first came here.

It's okay, Devi.
That's what little sisters do.

How'd you swing
this bottle of champagne?

Old bartender. Addison was right.
He just handed it right to me.

Huh.

You think it's okay that we left
everyone else down at the tent though?

We thought maybe we could have
one little toast just the three of us.

To the UN.

The UN.

Guess what, haters?
We all banged.

Ugh. We can't wait till next June
to see each other.

Maybe I can fly out for Halloween.

If you guys each make one friend,
we could go as the Spice Girls.

Yay. I love that idea.

You guys, I'm feeling way better
about this plan.

Yeah, me too.

Although... would you guys think
I was a loser

if I said I'm kind of scared to leave?

Hey, that's how you feel, Devi.

- You are?
- Yeah.

It's just... scary moving so far away.

Devi, I know that you've been ready
to go off to college since you were eight,

but I'm just not as brave as you are.

I'm not brave.

You are the bravest person we know.

You're the reason
we did anything in high school.

Without you, we'd still be eating lunch
in the teachers' lounge.

And the only reason
we have our current lovers

is because they were friends
with the smokeshows

that you had the audacity to pursue.

Guess I'll have to channel
my inner Devi when I get to college.

What is going on, Devi?

You're supposed to be downstairs
playing the harp.

And why are there only two notebooks
and a shoe in your suitcase?

You haven't packed?

Everyone stop drinking your teas
and get back to the wedding.

I cannot believe you haven't packed.

You do realize I'm not gonna be
at Princeton to do everything for you?

Hey, look at me.

You need to start being
a responsible adult.

I know, Mom. I'm sorry.

Let's welcome the new couple
out to the dance floor

for their very first dance.

Okay, now go play your harp

so your grandmother can show everyone
the dip she practiced.

- And then go right back upstairs.
- Okay.

Nalu, you've been criticizing
that girl all weekend.

Need I remind you
that I'm the bridezilla here?

I'm sorry, but she needs to grow up.

You know why
you're picking fights with her, right?

Because you're scared that she's leaving.

I used to do the same thing with Mohan.

He'd be heading off to the airport,

and I'd yell at him
because his clothes were too wrinkled,

or his hair was too long.

Don't waste your last night
with her, Nalu.

I know it's hard to let go,

but it's time.

I just... don't even know
what I'm supposed to, like, bring.

Yes, you do. You know what you need.

Just imagine that it's a sleepover
that's going to last many, many months.

It's not that simple.

It is that simple, kanna.

Just throw some of those clothes
into that suitcase.

And if you forget something,
I'm sure there's a Costco in New Jersey.

I don't wanna go to Costco.

I just... I want my stuff from my room.

And... how am I supposed to pack
my whole life into one stupid suitcase?

It's too hard.

Devi, calm down. It's okay.
Let me help you.

You can't help me. You're not even here.
You're not even real!

Kanna, what's going on?

I don't know how to pack.

Well... let's just do it together, then.

I don't think I can go tomorrow.

You were right.
I can't do anything without you.

Yes, you can.
You just don't have to do it right now.

I think I'm feeling overwhelmed
thinking about leaving this house,

you know, where you, me,

and Dad...

It's okay to feel a little scared
about saying goodbye.

I'm scared too.

Why do you think I have been such a bitch?

But, Devi, I know one thing, your father
would have been really proud of you.

I... am so proud of you.

And I will miss having
my little girl here,

but... I just can't wait for the world
to see what you can do.

Thanks, Mom.

I'm gonna miss you, Mom.

I'm gonna miss you too.

I can't believe
you got that suitcase shut.

Trick is to sit on it.

All right,
why don't we get you some dinner?

Sorry, she can't. Devi, it's time.

- All right, let's do this.
- Hey, what are you doing?

You'll see.

Yo, listen up.

This is for Pati,
who thinks I'm a coconut.

Ready?

Whoa.

Yeah!

Everybody on the dance floor!

♪ Tonight is the night ♪

♪ Tonight is the night... ♪

Damn, I did not think an old person's
wedding would go this hard.

Pretty sure I saw your grandma
drop into a full split.

Oh, Pati can out-twerk us all.

Mainly because her fake hip
has a screw loose.

Hmm.

So, I heard you're heading back to ASU?

If you can believe it.
I actually like being a teacher.

- I wanna do it for real.
- Paxton, that's hella cool.

And you'll actually make a difference

because kids pay way more attention
to hot people.

Oh.

Oh, wait, I have something for you.

As an official member of the swim team,
you earned this.

Congrats.
Looks like you're going to college a jock.

Oh wow.

I could really use this
to reinvent myself at Princeton.

Nah, don't reinvent anything.

You're good as is, Lil' D.

Thanks, Paxton.

And hey, if your first couple weeks there
are rough, you can always call me.

Just don't drop out
and go work at your old high school.

Apparently, that's pathetic, so...

- Okay.
- Yeah.

Hey.

You were a really nice boyfriend,

but... honestly,

you're an even better friend.

Devi, let go.

Chex Mix owes the bride a dance.

Let's make sure Smita can see us.

- Come, come.
- Chex Mix?

It was one time. It was one time.

All right. All right.
My turn. My turn.

Never have I ever had sex at school.

Aneesa, how dare you.

Cheers, babe.

Yeah, drama room.

Miss Thompson,
they had sex in the drama room.

Yeah, I... I got that, Fab. Thank you.

And once again,
you can just call me Lindsay.

All right.

Never have I ever hooked up
in my bestie's bed.

Fabiola, you better pick up that damn cup.

What?

W-W-W-Wait, whose bed?

Remember that party
where you two-timed Paxton

and then he got hit by a car
and his swimming career was over?

Okay, yep. Everyone remembers that.

Me and Eve
had a make-out session on your bed.

Oh!

- Damn.
- No, I'm actually not mad. That's hot.

- Well, I guess I should also drink.
- Why?

I definitely had
a couple solo seshes on your futon.

Ew.

- Come on.
- What?

I flipped the mattress over
when I was done.

I sleep on that thing, bro.

Ew.

Okay, my turn. My turn.

Never have I ever hooked up with...

Ben?

Been there.

♪ I wanna take the breath that's true ♪

♪ I look to you and I see nothing ♪

What are you doing here?

Uh, yeah, it's weird.
Uh, well, I was in New York,

and all of a sudden, I got this feeling
that I needed to tell you that

I...

like you.

Wait, you flew all the way
across the country

to tell me you like me?

Well, yeah.

Uh...

Actually...

I think I love you, Devi.

What?

I love you.

I love you too, Ben.

Wanna get out of here?

I can't. My mom will kill me if I leave.

I'm so sorry.

Oh. Uh...

I'll cover for you.

Go.

Okay. Where'd you park?

Shit, I don't have my car.

I Ubered from the airport.

Oh crap, my car's blocked in.

♪ Fade into you ♪

♪ Strange you never knew ♪

♪ Fade into you ♪

♪ Strange you never knew ♪

♪ Fade into you ♪

♪ I think it's strange you never knew ♪

So...

...should I leave now?

You gonna tell me
it's time to hit the hay again?

Damn, did I say that?

Man, I was an asshole.

Yeah, you really were.

Sorry about that.

Mmm, it's okay. Your grand
romantic gesture made up for it.

Devi...

I think we should be together.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Like, when we both get to school,
let's give this a real try.

New York and New Jersey
aren't that far away.

I mean, culturally,
they're in different galaxies,

but geographically,
I think we can make it work.

Okay. As long as you stop
shitting on Jersey.

- It's just so easy to.
- Hmm.

But for you, I can try.

Then I'm in.

Okay, I should go home.
I have to head to the airport soon.

Hmm.

Oh shit, how am I gonna get back
into my sari?

Oh, uh, I'll pull up a YouTube video?

Hmm.

Devi, you better be up.

Arriving two hours early at the airport

does not include time
for a random screening at security.

You're up?

Wide awake, fully packed, mostly showered.

So...

...you ready?

Yeah...

I think I am.

Wait, I forgot something.

You start loading the car.
I'll be right back.

Uh...

What's poppin', gods?

You've probably heard, but it's a big day.

I'm finally headed East.

I know when we normally talk,

I usually ask for stuff
like smaller pores,

or a boyfriend
who can do one-arm push-ups,

but this morning, I really just wanna say...

thank you.

I feel really, really grateful.

I have this awesome life
full of dope people who care about me...

and who love me.

So thanks for always
looking out for your girl.

And if you wouldn't mind keeping an eye
on my mom while I'm gone,

I would really appreciate it.

Also, wouldn't be mad
if you equally distributed my freshman 15

between my boobs and my ass.

No. No, no, no. Never mind, forget that.

Just... please take care of my mom.

She deserves to feel really lucky too.

Anyway,

I love you guys.

And I'll see you at Princeton.

And so our Sherman Oaks squad
embarked on their new lives...

...on both coasts.

What do you think, Gears?

College friggin' rules.

East...

...and West...

- And cut.
- Thank you.

- I got it.
- It was really good!

- Did you see how big my explosion was?
- Yeah, it was huge.

...and also one desert college town.

But everyone felt like they were
exactly where they needed to be.

- Mmm, so good.
- Pista.

- You always pick so much better than me.
- You get the weird flavors.

And after four rocky years
of high school,

Devi finally had both the boy
and the college of her dreams.

There would be other dreams, of course,

like becoming
the first Supreme Court Justice

who's also a hip-hop artist,

but in this moment,

our little hothead from the Valley
was pretty happy.

So this is John McEnroe live

from Princeton, New Jersey, signing off.

For now.

♪ My shabby heart was acting out ♪

♪ You know I don't want no one else ♪

♪ Put it all behind you
Put it in a song, yeah ♪

♪ I don't want to know about it ♪

♪ Put it in a corner
Somewhere I can't find it ♪

♪ I don't want to think about ♪

♪ Put it on a fire
Put it in a pocket ♪

♪ I don't want to see you now ♪