All language subtitles for I Dream of Jeannie (1965) - S03E05 - My Master, the Weakling (480p DVD x265 Silence)

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:03,385 --> 00:00:05,820 [♪] 2 00:00:16,532 --> 00:00:17,949 Respiration, 3 00:00:17,950 --> 00:00:21,236 pulse rate, heartbeat... 4 00:00:21,237 --> 00:00:22,477 all excellent. 5 00:00:23,639 --> 00:00:24,905 Gentlemen... 6 00:00:24,906 --> 00:00:26,707 you have just qualified 7 00:00:26,708 --> 00:00:28,743 to participate as guinea pigs 8 00:00:28,744 --> 00:00:30,311 in an experimental program. 9 00:00:30,312 --> 00:00:31,546 Congratulations. 10 00:00:31,547 --> 00:00:33,348 Guinea pig? What kind of guinea pig, sir? 11 00:00:33,349 --> 00:00:35,150 Oh, you'll see. 12 00:00:35,151 --> 00:00:36,584 And now, if you'll excuse me, 13 00:00:36,585 --> 00:00:37,585 I, um... 14 00:00:37,586 --> 00:00:39,354 I must inform Commander Kiski, 15 00:00:39,355 --> 00:00:42,056 the director of the new program, that you're ready to begin. 16 00:00:42,057 --> 00:00:43,458 Now? Now, major. 17 00:00:43,459 --> 00:00:45,260 But a-all the guys just went to lunch, sir. 18 00:00:45,261 --> 00:00:47,195 And until I return, I suggest that 19 00:00:47,196 --> 00:00:49,197 you both exercise vigorously. 20 00:00:49,198 --> 00:00:51,533 Commander Kiski likes his guinea pigs to be warmed up. 21 00:00:53,235 --> 00:00:55,870 Boy, for a few knee bends, we have to miss lunch. 22 00:00:55,871 --> 00:00:56,871 I hope this Kiski isn't 23 00:00:56,872 --> 00:00:58,640 some kind of an exercise fanatic. 24 00:00:58,641 --> 00:01:00,041 Well. I wouldn't worry about it. 25 00:01:00,042 --> 00:01:01,376 We're in pretty good shape. 26 00:01:01,377 --> 00:01:03,878 Think we can breeze through anything this guy throws at us, 27 00:01:03,879 --> 00:01:05,863 unless he's Attila the Hun. Huh? [BOTH LAUGH] 28 00:01:05,864 --> 00:01:07,898 [LAUGHS] 29 00:01:07,899 --> 00:01:09,300 Oh, what are you doing here, huh? 30 00:01:09,301 --> 00:01:10,701 Oh, master, do you not remember? 31 00:01:10,702 --> 00:01:12,103 You and Major Healey promised to 32 00:01:12,104 --> 00:01:13,404 take me out to dinner tonight. 33 00:01:13,405 --> 00:01:15,006 Oh, no. I forgot about that. 34 00:01:15,007 --> 00:01:16,040 And dancing. Ohh! 35 00:01:16,041 --> 00:01:17,041 [CLAPS] 36 00:01:17,042 --> 00:01:18,042 Do you like my dress? 37 00:01:18,043 --> 00:01:19,210 Yeah, it's pretty, but... 38 00:01:19,211 --> 00:01:20,911 But, but, but. Yeah, yeah, it's great. 39 00:01:20,912 --> 00:01:23,115 Jeannie, will you get out of here? We gotta work out. 40 00:01:23,116 --> 00:01:24,983 What is "work out"? 41 00:01:24,984 --> 00:01:26,518 Well, it's a lot of running and jumping, 42 00:01:26,519 --> 00:01:27,719 bending and stretching. 43 00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:28,953 But if you do all that, 44 00:01:28,954 --> 00:01:31,289 will you not be too tired to take me dancing tonight? 45 00:01:32,241 --> 00:01:34,326 No, no. Listen, we could chop rocks all day 46 00:01:34,327 --> 00:01:36,127 and still be in good shape to take you out. 47 00:01:36,128 --> 00:01:37,311 Now go on. Go on home, please. 48 00:01:37,312 --> 00:01:39,381 You are sure you will not be too tired? 49 00:01:39,382 --> 00:01:40,931 Absolutely. Please, will you? 50 00:01:40,932 --> 00:01:43,134 Very well then. Until tonight. 51 00:01:43,135 --> 00:01:44,135 Yeah, sure. Tonight. 52 00:01:44,136 --> 00:01:45,386 Okay. 53 00:01:45,387 --> 00:01:46,471 Excuse me, gentlemen. 54 00:01:46,472 --> 00:01:48,340 Oh. Yes, sir. Hello. 55 00:01:48,341 --> 00:01:49,641 Uh, this is the director of 56 00:01:49,642 --> 00:01:52,310 your new physical-conditioning program. [CHUCKLES] 57 00:01:52,311 --> 00:01:53,945 Commander Frances N. Kiski. 58 00:01:53,946 --> 00:01:55,279 Major Nelson, Major Healey. 59 00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:57,149 How do you do, sir? How are you, sir? 60 00:01:57,150 --> 00:01:58,430 Attention! 61 00:01:59,218 --> 00:02:01,068 [♪] 62 00:02:07,159 --> 00:02:08,626 Marshmallows. 63 00:02:09,662 --> 00:02:10,979 It's Attila the Hun. 64 00:02:17,403 --> 00:02:19,170 [♪] 65 00:03:04,283 --> 00:03:05,800 [♪] 66 00:03:11,523 --> 00:03:12,606 Major... 67 00:03:12,607 --> 00:03:14,675 are you in good condition? 68 00:03:14,676 --> 00:03:15,916 Yes, sir. Wrong! 69 00:03:17,512 --> 00:03:19,147 And you. 70 00:03:19,148 --> 00:03:20,681 Wall-to-wall flab. 71 00:03:21,783 --> 00:03:24,085 What do you say to 50 quick pushups? 72 00:03:24,086 --> 00:03:26,721 Or are you afraid you might hurt yourself? 73 00:03:26,722 --> 00:03:28,022 If you are... 74 00:03:28,023 --> 00:03:30,524 just speak right up. 75 00:03:30,525 --> 00:03:31,625 Oh-ho-ho... 76 00:03:31,626 --> 00:03:34,696 Too easy, huh? All right. 77 00:03:34,697 --> 00:03:35,930 We'll try something else. 78 00:03:37,032 --> 00:03:40,068 Now, watch. Watch my hand. 79 00:03:40,069 --> 00:03:42,170 Watch. 80 00:03:42,171 --> 00:03:43,404 [GRUNTS, YELLS] 81 00:03:45,307 --> 00:03:46,307 See what I mean? 82 00:03:46,308 --> 00:03:48,343 See what I did? 83 00:03:48,344 --> 00:03:49,744 Well... you saw it. 84 00:03:49,745 --> 00:03:51,012 You're dead. 85 00:03:51,013 --> 00:03:53,681 I just killed you, and you didn't defend yourselves. 86 00:03:54,917 --> 00:03:56,284 Well, we're at attention, sir. 87 00:03:56,285 --> 00:03:57,852 [MOCKINGLY] "At attention, sir." 88 00:03:57,853 --> 00:03:59,553 Oh, really? Hm. 89 00:03:59,554 --> 00:04:00,855 See what I mean, Dr. Bellows? 90 00:04:00,856 --> 00:04:02,340 Proved my point. 91 00:04:03,509 --> 00:04:06,678 These men are survival-soft. 92 00:04:06,679 --> 00:04:08,145 Their animal instinct... 93 00:04:08,146 --> 00:04:11,916 of kill or be killed... 94 00:04:11,917 --> 00:04:13,451 has been ruined... 95 00:04:13,452 --> 00:04:15,152 by their easy living. 96 00:04:15,153 --> 00:04:16,487 Hm. 97 00:04:16,488 --> 00:04:18,723 We've received the finest astronaut training, sir. 98 00:04:18,724 --> 00:04:19,774 I think that, uh... 99 00:04:19,775 --> 00:04:21,342 Kindergarten junk! 100 00:04:21,343 --> 00:04:23,377 That's right. 101 00:04:23,378 --> 00:04:24,829 I... 102 00:04:24,830 --> 00:04:27,081 I am gonna teach you how to survive. 103 00:04:28,150 --> 00:04:30,552 Punishment training. 104 00:04:30,553 --> 00:04:31,719 Pain! Pain! 105 00:04:33,088 --> 00:04:34,956 Pain, going past suffering... 106 00:04:35,958 --> 00:04:37,759 into the valley of agony. 107 00:04:38,961 --> 00:04:39,961 That's right. 108 00:04:43,498 --> 00:04:44,566 Now, what do you say 109 00:04:44,567 --> 00:04:47,702 to a quick 10-mile run? 110 00:04:47,703 --> 00:04:49,804 And after that, you'll come back here, 111 00:04:49,805 --> 00:04:51,138 and we'll have three hours 112 00:04:51,139 --> 00:04:53,441 of special exercises. 113 00:04:53,442 --> 00:04:56,878 A... A 10-mile run and three hours, sir? 114 00:04:56,879 --> 00:04:58,212 That's right, major. 115 00:04:58,213 --> 00:04:59,681 That's right. 116 00:04:59,682 --> 00:05:01,983 And tomorrow... [LAUGHS] 117 00:05:01,984 --> 00:05:03,618 We'll start the hard stuff. 118 00:05:05,387 --> 00:05:06,387 Okay? 119 00:05:06,388 --> 00:05:07,589 Right face! 120 00:05:08,958 --> 00:05:10,524 Double-quick... march! 121 00:05:10,525 --> 00:05:11,643 Move it, move it, move it! 122 00:05:11,644 --> 00:05:12,694 [BLOWS WHISTLE] 123 00:05:12,695 --> 00:05:14,161 Move it, move it, move it, move it! 124 00:05:14,162 --> 00:05:16,263 Move it, move it, move it! 125 00:05:21,687 --> 00:05:23,487 He's trying to kill us. Yeah. 126 00:05:23,488 --> 00:05:24,488 Healey! 127 00:05:24,489 --> 00:05:25,724 Yeah? 128 00:05:27,392 --> 00:05:29,227 Oh, okay. Time. 129 00:05:29,228 --> 00:05:30,309 [BLOWS WHISTLE] 130 00:05:31,964 --> 00:05:33,098 [GROANS] 131 00:05:36,301 --> 00:05:37,301 He's trying to kill us. 132 00:05:37,302 --> 00:05:38,502 Kill us? See it in his eyes. 133 00:05:38,503 --> 00:05:40,105 He was testing us. Trying to kill us. 134 00:05:40,106 --> 00:05:41,472 But he couldn't break us down. 135 00:05:41,473 --> 00:05:43,307 We won, don't you see? Yeah. 136 00:05:43,308 --> 00:05:44,408 Oh, that's good. 137 00:05:44,409 --> 00:05:46,444 Ten minutes ago, I thought I died. 138 00:05:46,445 --> 00:05:47,725 Let's get out of here. 139 00:05:49,215 --> 00:05:51,082 Where are you going? 140 00:05:51,083 --> 00:05:53,051 [GASPS] Who said school was out? 141 00:05:53,052 --> 00:05:54,318 Oh, well, sir, you said... 142 00:05:54,319 --> 00:05:56,621 You said we could leave after three hours of exercise. 143 00:05:56,622 --> 00:05:59,257 I lied! I tell that to all my boys 144 00:05:59,258 --> 00:06:01,525 to keep them on their tippy-tippy-toes. 145 00:06:01,526 --> 00:06:02,526 You're not through yet. 146 00:06:02,527 --> 00:06:05,230 Here. Try these on. 147 00:06:05,231 --> 00:06:06,471 [SIGHS] 148 00:06:11,937 --> 00:06:14,172 I think there's a mistake. 149 00:06:14,173 --> 00:06:16,340 Somebody, uh, put lead in the pockets. 150 00:06:16,341 --> 00:06:17,541 [LAUGHS] It's a mistake. 151 00:06:17,542 --> 00:06:18,843 There's lead in the pockets. 152 00:06:18,844 --> 00:06:20,111 No, major. 153 00:06:20,112 --> 00:06:21,746 It's not lead. 154 00:06:21,747 --> 00:06:23,148 It's sand. 155 00:06:23,149 --> 00:06:25,200 A hundred and fifty pounds of sand 156 00:06:25,201 --> 00:06:27,118 sewn into the lining of each jacket. 157 00:06:28,204 --> 00:06:30,088 Oh, you look marvelous. 158 00:06:30,089 --> 00:06:32,022 What do we do with these sand dunes 159 00:06:32,023 --> 00:06:33,458 now that we got 'em on? 160 00:06:33,459 --> 00:06:36,961 What do you think you do with 150 pounds of sand on your back? 161 00:06:36,962 --> 00:06:39,798 Run. Uphill. 162 00:06:39,799 --> 00:06:42,466 Now, move! Move, move! 163 00:06:42,467 --> 00:06:43,467 [BLOWS WHISTLE] 164 00:06:43,468 --> 00:06:45,236 Move it, move it, move it! 165 00:06:45,237 --> 00:06:47,305 Let's go! Let's move it! 166 00:06:54,596 --> 00:06:55,596 Oh, master. 167 00:06:55,597 --> 00:06:57,899 [GIGGLES] And Major Healey. 168 00:06:57,900 --> 00:07:00,168 I almost thought you had forgotten our date tonight. 169 00:07:00,169 --> 00:07:02,003 You are very late. 170 00:07:02,004 --> 00:07:03,471 You promised. I know. 171 00:07:03,472 --> 00:07:05,840 Jeannie, I'd love to take you for, uh, d-dancing, but... 172 00:07:05,841 --> 00:07:07,481 Oh, thank you! No. 173 00:07:08,861 --> 00:07:09,861 [GROANS] 174 00:07:11,163 --> 00:07:12,843 What...? What happened? 175 00:07:14,033 --> 00:07:15,466 You may not believe this, Roger, 176 00:07:15,467 --> 00:07:16,901 but I think we're going dancing. 177 00:07:16,902 --> 00:07:18,903 Yes. Come along. Let's go. 178 00:07:18,904 --> 00:07:20,071 Oh, wait. Oh, oh-oh... 179 00:07:20,072 --> 00:07:21,072 Come on. [LAUGHS] 180 00:07:22,107 --> 00:07:23,607 Whoa, no. 181 00:07:23,608 --> 00:07:25,609 [♪] 182 00:07:30,816 --> 00:07:32,616 Oh, this is such fun. 183 00:07:32,617 --> 00:07:34,937 Are you enjoying yourself, Major Healey? 184 00:07:36,488 --> 00:07:39,090 Major Healey? Are you enjoying yourself? 185 00:07:39,091 --> 00:07:41,826 Yes, I'm enjoying myself. Oh. 186 00:07:41,827 --> 00:07:44,195 Well, I-if you are too tired, we can go home. 187 00:07:44,196 --> 00:07:46,497 No, I'm not too tired. I-I w... I don't want to go home. 188 00:07:46,498 --> 00:07:47,765 [GIGGLES] 189 00:07:49,101 --> 00:07:50,101 Master? 190 00:07:50,102 --> 00:07:52,136 Master, wake up. 191 00:07:52,137 --> 00:07:53,537 Oh. He's asleep. 192 00:07:53,538 --> 00:07:55,298 Master, wake up. Wake up. 193 00:07:56,641 --> 00:07:58,401 Master. [GIGGLES] 194 00:07:59,078 --> 00:08:00,879 Peekaboo. 195 00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:02,160 Wake up. 196 00:08:10,655 --> 00:08:12,190 Thank you, Armand. 197 00:08:12,191 --> 00:08:14,725 I think you'll like this place, commander. 198 00:08:14,726 --> 00:08:16,427 The, uh, music's a bit on the loud side, 199 00:08:16,428 --> 00:08:18,496 but the food is superb. Hm. 200 00:08:18,497 --> 00:08:20,431 Good. After breaking down the men, 201 00:08:20,432 --> 00:08:21,665 I always have a good appetite. 202 00:08:23,785 --> 00:08:25,745 Wake up. Wake up. [GROANS] 203 00:08:30,910 --> 00:08:32,460 [♪] 204 00:08:45,274 --> 00:08:46,574 Look who's here. 205 00:08:50,145 --> 00:08:52,113 He's dancing. 206 00:08:52,114 --> 00:08:54,648 That's incredible. 207 00:08:54,649 --> 00:08:56,317 It's fabulous, doc. 208 00:08:56,318 --> 00:08:58,519 You know, I've had to hold up my training program, 209 00:08:58,520 --> 00:08:59,620 because I couldn't get men 210 00:08:59,621 --> 00:09:02,123 strong enough to get the full treatment. 211 00:09:02,124 --> 00:09:04,158 But with Nelson and Healey, 212 00:09:04,159 --> 00:09:07,194 starting tomorrow, I'll be able to give them the works. 213 00:09:07,195 --> 00:09:08,729 The works? 214 00:09:08,730 --> 00:09:10,531 Everything. 215 00:09:10,532 --> 00:09:11,865 My secret plan. 216 00:09:22,844 --> 00:09:24,445 Oh, master, you should have told me 217 00:09:24,446 --> 00:09:26,447 that Commander Kiski made you work out so hard. 218 00:09:26,448 --> 00:09:27,748 Ahh! Mm. 219 00:09:27,749 --> 00:09:30,117 I would not have allowed you to go dancing. [GROANS] 220 00:09:30,118 --> 00:09:31,885 The dancing was the easy part. 221 00:09:31,886 --> 00:09:34,121 I slept through most of that. 222 00:09:34,122 --> 00:09:36,123 Do you suppose it's possible to sprain skin? 223 00:09:36,124 --> 00:09:37,425 Ohh! 224 00:09:37,426 --> 00:09:38,792 Oh. 225 00:09:38,793 --> 00:09:40,561 Well, let's hobble along 226 00:09:40,562 --> 00:09:41,995 with another day of fun and games 227 00:09:41,996 --> 00:09:43,197 with Killer Kiski. 228 00:09:43,198 --> 00:09:44,798 Oh, but he will hurt you again. 229 00:09:44,799 --> 00:09:47,134 Ah, no, no. He won't be so rough on us today. 230 00:09:47,135 --> 00:09:48,536 No, these physical fitness guys 231 00:09:48,537 --> 00:09:49,604 all work the same way. 232 00:09:49,605 --> 00:09:50,938 They murder you the first day, 233 00:09:50,939 --> 00:09:51,939 then they ease off. 234 00:09:51,940 --> 00:09:52,940 Yeah. 235 00:09:52,941 --> 00:09:54,007 [TELEPHONE RINGS] 236 00:09:55,043 --> 00:09:56,143 Ah, Jeannie. Ah. Ah. 237 00:09:58,614 --> 00:10:00,281 Hello? Major Nelson here. 238 00:10:00,282 --> 00:10:02,149 Oh. 239 00:10:02,150 --> 00:10:03,310 Yes, Commander Kiski. 240 00:10:04,553 --> 00:10:05,553 Yes, sir. 241 00:10:06,622 --> 00:10:09,890 Ye... All right. All right. 242 00:10:09,891 --> 00:10:11,292 Well, what's wrong? 243 00:10:11,293 --> 00:10:13,561 We're to report to Staging Area F, 244 00:10:13,562 --> 00:10:15,396 pick up our winter field uniforms. 245 00:10:15,397 --> 00:10:17,465 Area F in our winter uniforms? Are you kidding? 246 00:10:17,466 --> 00:10:18,466 It's 100 degrees there. 247 00:10:18,467 --> 00:10:20,200 Hundred and one. Kiski checked. 248 00:10:20,201 --> 00:10:21,569 Master, please let me help you. 249 00:10:21,570 --> 00:10:22,936 No, I'll... I'll take care of it. 250 00:10:22,937 --> 00:10:24,438 It's my responsibility. Tsk. 251 00:10:24,439 --> 00:10:25,839 Yeah, It's not like in school, 252 00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:27,675 where your mother writes you an excuse. 253 00:10:27,676 --> 00:10:28,776 Roge, giddyap. 254 00:10:30,812 --> 00:10:32,446 An excuse from mother? 255 00:10:33,615 --> 00:10:34,948 Mm. 256 00:10:42,591 --> 00:10:44,292 I don't care what Nelson says. 257 00:10:44,293 --> 00:10:46,394 He and Healey can't drink the water. 258 00:10:46,395 --> 00:10:49,263 Now you tell those two softies to get over here on the double. 259 00:10:49,264 --> 00:10:51,299 And make sure they zipper up their overcoats. 260 00:10:51,300 --> 00:10:52,866 I'm through being a nice guy. 261 00:10:57,306 --> 00:10:58,422 Hello. 262 00:10:59,725 --> 00:11:02,026 What did...? How did you get in here? 263 00:11:02,027 --> 00:11:04,395 Oh, I brought you a note from Major Nelson's mother. 264 00:11:04,396 --> 00:11:06,397 A-and one from Major Healey's too. 265 00:11:06,398 --> 00:11:09,533 You'll have to excuse them from any more, uh, exercises. 266 00:11:09,534 --> 00:11:12,014 Notes from their mothers? 267 00:11:12,304 --> 00:11:13,404 What are you, 268 00:11:13,405 --> 00:11:15,707 some sort of weird cocktail waitress? 269 00:11:15,708 --> 00:11:17,909 Oh. Please read the notes. 270 00:11:17,910 --> 00:11:20,611 Oh. I get it. 271 00:11:20,612 --> 00:11:23,181 You're either a girlfriend of Nelson or Healey's, 272 00:11:23,182 --> 00:11:25,649 and you're trying to come over here and help them get out of 273 00:11:25,650 --> 00:11:26,951 some of those hard, nasty jobs. 274 00:11:26,952 --> 00:11:28,452 Oh, believe me, I'm not doing that. 275 00:11:28,453 --> 00:11:29,754 Mm, yeah. I know. 276 00:11:29,755 --> 00:11:31,723 It's women like you that love to smother guys. 277 00:11:31,724 --> 00:11:33,024 Protect 'em, keep 'em soft. 278 00:11:33,025 --> 00:11:34,525 Oh, I just want to see... 279 00:11:34,526 --> 00:11:35,659 I've seen dames like you. 280 00:11:35,660 --> 00:11:37,161 You ruin 'em with your cuddling. 281 00:11:37,162 --> 00:11:38,295 I know. 282 00:11:38,296 --> 00:11:40,798 My Aunt Effie tried to do it to me. Hm. 283 00:11:40,799 --> 00:11:41,866 Every day, I remember, 284 00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:44,168 "Eat your cottage cheese, Francis." 285 00:11:44,169 --> 00:11:46,137 "Drink your milkie, Francis." 286 00:11:46,138 --> 00:11:48,973 "Don't forget to wear your rubber hat, Francis." 287 00:11:48,974 --> 00:11:50,742 Egh-yuck. 288 00:11:50,743 --> 00:11:52,243 Your Aunt Effie sounds very sweet. 289 00:11:52,244 --> 00:11:53,861 Sweet?! 290 00:11:53,862 --> 00:11:55,028 If I didn't get away from her, 291 00:11:55,029 --> 00:11:56,597 she would have made a sissy out of me. 292 00:11:56,598 --> 00:11:58,298 But I'm not gonna let your pals get away. 293 00:11:58,299 --> 00:11:59,834 Not till I make 'em as hard as steel. 294 00:11:59,835 --> 00:12:00,985 I do not think your Aunt Effie 295 00:12:00,986 --> 00:12:03,121 would like the way you treat them. 296 00:12:03,122 --> 00:12:04,722 Her? She'd have them sitting under a tree 297 00:12:04,723 --> 00:12:06,874 eating blueberry pie. 298 00:12:06,875 --> 00:12:08,709 Oh, that is nice. 299 00:12:08,710 --> 00:12:11,012 Oh, yeah? Well, you get...! 300 00:12:11,013 --> 00:12:12,913 [GIGGLES] 301 00:12:12,914 --> 00:12:17,001 Your Aunt Effie is a much nicer person. 302 00:12:17,002 --> 00:12:18,852 Out of here, because I don't really care. 303 00:12:18,853 --> 00:12:20,421 Major Healey and Major Nelson, sir. 304 00:12:20,422 --> 00:12:22,557 Major Healey and Major Nelson? 305 00:12:24,492 --> 00:12:26,944 I told you not to ask for water. He'll kill us. 306 00:12:26,945 --> 00:12:28,512 Attention! 307 00:12:28,513 --> 00:12:30,514 Okay, you guys. Now, I'm... 308 00:12:30,515 --> 00:12:33,651 Oh, I'm... I'm awfully sorry, boys. 309 00:12:33,652 --> 00:12:37,321 Forgive me. Oh, my goodness. I'll have mercy on you. 310 00:12:37,322 --> 00:12:39,623 You shouldn't be dressed in these hot outfits 311 00:12:39,624 --> 00:12:41,158 on a day like this. 312 00:12:41,159 --> 00:12:42,493 It's ridiculous. 313 00:12:42,494 --> 00:12:44,912 Take off those clothes. Really, boys. 314 00:12:44,913 --> 00:12:46,798 I don't want to see you suffer. 315 00:12:46,799 --> 00:12:48,966 You should be able to relax and enjoy, 316 00:12:48,967 --> 00:12:50,568 and be nice and cool. 317 00:12:50,569 --> 00:12:52,703 That's no way to dress in hot weather. 318 00:12:52,704 --> 00:12:54,839 Here. Have a drink of water there. 319 00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:56,841 Don't drink it. It's a trick. 320 00:12:56,842 --> 00:12:59,260 Hey, listen, fellas. I have an idea. 321 00:12:59,261 --> 00:13:00,761 You ought to get into some shorts 322 00:13:00,762 --> 00:13:02,563 and sit under a nice cool tree. 323 00:13:02,564 --> 00:13:03,815 [LAUGHS] 324 00:13:06,185 --> 00:13:08,820 I'll get you some pie. Do you like blueberry pie? 325 00:13:08,821 --> 00:13:11,155 It's delicious with cold milk. 326 00:13:11,156 --> 00:13:12,890 You go ahead and rest here, 327 00:13:12,891 --> 00:13:14,925 and I'll go see about the pie, okay, fellas? 328 00:13:14,926 --> 00:13:16,193 Ah. 329 00:13:16,194 --> 00:13:17,294 Drink, enjoy. 330 00:13:17,295 --> 00:13:19,735 You're marvelous. Wonderful boys. 331 00:13:20,832 --> 00:13:22,900 It's so drab in here. 332 00:13:22,901 --> 00:13:25,503 You ought to have chintz to brighten it up a little bit. 333 00:13:25,504 --> 00:13:28,272 Jeez, it would make it so beautiful. 334 00:13:29,391 --> 00:13:31,892 Chintz? In a tent? 335 00:13:33,528 --> 00:13:34,795 Chintz? 336 00:13:37,049 --> 00:13:38,482 It's a plot. 337 00:13:38,483 --> 00:13:40,517 He's going to poison the pie. 338 00:13:40,518 --> 00:13:41,618 It's a trick. 339 00:13:41,619 --> 00:13:43,287 Why would he wanna poison the pie? 340 00:13:43,288 --> 00:13:44,621 If it's not a trick, 341 00:13:44,622 --> 00:13:47,182 we're in the hands of a raving maniac. 342 00:13:53,198 --> 00:13:54,881 Boys. Boys? 343 00:13:57,619 --> 00:13:59,753 Boys? Boys. 344 00:13:59,754 --> 00:14:01,488 Oh. There you are. 345 00:14:01,489 --> 00:14:02,656 There you are. 346 00:14:03,991 --> 00:14:06,893 Hurry up, boys. It's naughty to be a slowpoke. 347 00:14:08,262 --> 00:14:09,763 What am I saying? 348 00:14:11,999 --> 00:14:14,167 Don't go with him. He's trying to get us lost. 349 00:14:14,168 --> 00:14:15,502 Just like Hansel and Gretel. 350 00:14:15,503 --> 00:14:17,103 I know he's acting kind of peculiar, 351 00:14:17,104 --> 00:14:19,424 but that pie was delicious. 352 00:14:19,507 --> 00:14:21,274 [LAUGHS] Oh. 353 00:14:21,275 --> 00:14:22,743 My, the air out here is wonderful. 354 00:14:22,744 --> 00:14:23,944 Yeah. 355 00:14:23,945 --> 00:14:25,245 Are you comfortable, master? 356 00:14:25,246 --> 00:14:26,847 Yeah. Uh, listen, uh, get out of here. 357 00:14:26,848 --> 00:14:28,349 Kiski's gonna be back any minute. 358 00:14:28,350 --> 00:14:29,350 Yeah, with more pie. 359 00:14:29,351 --> 00:14:30,818 I couldn't eat another bite. 360 00:14:30,819 --> 00:14:33,554 Oh, I'm glad you two are getting along so well with him. 361 00:14:33,555 --> 00:14:35,622 Well, he's not such a bad guy once you know him. 362 00:14:35,623 --> 00:14:36,623 KISKI: Major! 363 00:14:36,624 --> 00:14:37,991 Oh, come on, Jeannie. Out, out. 364 00:14:37,992 --> 00:14:39,727 Oh. Yes, master. 365 00:14:39,728 --> 00:14:40,728 Have a nice day. 366 00:14:40,729 --> 00:14:41,862 Yeah... Really, now... 367 00:14:41,863 --> 00:14:43,397 Now... Oh. 368 00:14:43,398 --> 00:14:44,398 Come on. Major! 369 00:14:44,399 --> 00:14:45,432 [MUMBLES] 370 00:14:51,539 --> 00:14:53,940 Hey! There you are. Yeah. 371 00:14:53,941 --> 00:14:55,141 Your easels are all set up. 372 00:14:55,142 --> 00:14:56,877 Our easels? Our easels? 373 00:14:56,878 --> 00:14:59,613 Certainly. On a glorious day like today, 374 00:14:59,614 --> 00:15:01,254 there's nothing like a good paint. 375 00:15:04,419 --> 00:15:06,687 Good paint? 376 00:15:06,688 --> 00:15:09,307 Well, you go right ahead. We... We'll be there. 377 00:15:09,308 --> 00:15:10,407 Well, uh, ahem, 378 00:15:10,408 --> 00:15:11,559 you set up the easels. 379 00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:13,210 Oh, easels. Yes. Yes. Yes. 380 00:15:16,247 --> 00:15:18,782 I had a counselor like that when I was a kid in summer camp. 381 00:15:18,783 --> 00:15:19,817 Eh... What happened? 382 00:15:19,818 --> 00:15:21,652 The camp nurse sent him home early. 383 00:15:21,653 --> 00:15:23,837 KISKI: Boys, painting time! 384 00:15:23,838 --> 00:15:24,838 Easy. Take it easy. 385 00:15:37,468 --> 00:15:38,836 Where's Commander Kiski? 386 00:15:41,056 --> 00:15:42,339 Uh, he's on a, uh... 387 00:15:42,340 --> 00:15:43,540 nature hike, sir. 388 00:15:44,643 --> 00:15:45,976 I'll call him for you. 389 00:15:53,668 --> 00:15:55,135 [TELEPHONE RINGS] 390 00:15:56,838 --> 00:15:57,838 Hello. 391 00:15:57,839 --> 00:15:58,939 GENERAL: Kiski? 392 00:15:58,940 --> 00:16:00,658 This is General Powlett. 393 00:16:00,659 --> 00:16:03,361 Oh, hello, General Powlett. How are you, sir? 394 00:16:03,362 --> 00:16:04,445 Lovely day, isn't it? 395 00:16:04,446 --> 00:16:06,146 Uh... 396 00:16:06,147 --> 00:16:07,915 Excuse me a moment, general. 397 00:16:07,916 --> 00:16:09,416 Uh, Tony... Yeah? 398 00:16:09,417 --> 00:16:11,418 Yours is very good... 399 00:16:11,419 --> 00:16:13,037 but your bunny's all wrong. 400 00:16:13,038 --> 00:16:14,455 Your bunny should have 401 00:16:14,456 --> 00:16:18,893 big, floppy ears and a tiny, fluffy tail. 402 00:16:18,894 --> 00:16:20,961 It's an elm tree. Oh, yeah. 403 00:16:20,962 --> 00:16:23,030 Heh. And a lovely tree it is. 404 00:16:23,031 --> 00:16:25,182 Uh, Roger, yours is very good too. 405 00:16:25,183 --> 00:16:28,285 I love yours. I love your purple and yellow sky. 406 00:16:28,286 --> 00:16:29,386 [LAUGHS] 407 00:16:30,721 --> 00:16:31,755 Very excellent. 408 00:16:31,756 --> 00:16:32,940 Heh. 409 00:16:32,941 --> 00:16:34,642 Are you out of your mind? 410 00:16:34,643 --> 00:16:36,826 Floppy ears and fluffy tail? 411 00:16:37,896 --> 00:16:39,029 What did you do to Kiski? 412 00:16:40,399 --> 00:16:42,566 Well, all I did was take him notes from your mothers 413 00:16:42,567 --> 00:16:44,268 to excuse you from the exercises... 414 00:16:44,269 --> 00:16:45,786 I... I don't want to hear anymore. 415 00:16:45,787 --> 00:16:47,938 Well, he did not even read the notes. 416 00:16:47,939 --> 00:16:50,340 All he did was talk about his sweet, little old Aunt Effie 417 00:16:50,341 --> 00:16:51,909 who used to make him drink milk and... 418 00:16:51,910 --> 00:16:53,944 And baked him blueberry pies. And... 419 00:16:53,945 --> 00:16:55,746 And you turned him into his Aunt Effie? 420 00:16:55,747 --> 00:16:57,581 Well, I only wanted to... 421 00:16:57,582 --> 00:17:00,000 Yeah... Jeannie, you shouldn't have interfered. 422 00:17:00,001 --> 00:17:01,034 You can't... 423 00:17:01,035 --> 00:17:02,536 I will not let him work you so hard. 424 00:17:02,537 --> 00:17:04,205 But you can't... Right back to... 425 00:17:04,206 --> 00:17:06,207 Hey, I didn't know that Kiski had an Aunt Effie. 426 00:17:06,208 --> 00:17:07,374 I thought his only relative 427 00:17:07,375 --> 00:17:09,109 was the Creature from the Black Lagoon. 428 00:17:09,110 --> 00:17:10,377 Oh, funny. That's funny. 429 00:17:10,378 --> 00:17:13,180 Well, how about the monster that stepped on Cincinnati? 430 00:17:13,181 --> 00:17:15,661 [CHUCKLES] Roger. 431 00:17:19,187 --> 00:17:22,189 All right, men, we're nearing the drop zone. 432 00:17:22,190 --> 00:17:23,623 This will be a survival exercise 433 00:17:23,624 --> 00:17:25,592 under conditions of maximum hazard. 434 00:17:25,593 --> 00:17:28,153 Commander Kiski, would you like to brief your men? 435 00:17:29,514 --> 00:17:31,081 Please... 436 00:17:31,082 --> 00:17:32,149 be careful. 437 00:17:34,018 --> 00:17:35,419 For this exercise, 438 00:17:35,420 --> 00:17:37,940 we have simulated a drop into enemy territory. 439 00:17:39,207 --> 00:17:41,575 The enemy has already spotted this aircraft, 440 00:17:41,576 --> 00:17:44,311 and from the moment you land, they will be in pursuit. 441 00:17:44,996 --> 00:17:47,798 Ohh! That's exciting. 442 00:17:47,799 --> 00:17:50,150 Under no circumstances 443 00:17:50,151 --> 00:17:52,252 will you permit yourselves to be captured. 444 00:17:52,253 --> 00:17:54,138 Is that clear? Yes, sir. 445 00:17:54,139 --> 00:17:55,055 Good luck, gentlemen. 446 00:17:55,056 --> 00:17:56,390 Ready, sir. 447 00:17:56,391 --> 00:17:59,026 All right. Stand up. Hook up. 448 00:17:59,027 --> 00:18:00,060 Ah. 449 00:18:02,781 --> 00:18:03,814 KISKI: Roger. 450 00:18:03,815 --> 00:18:05,249 Button up your collar. 451 00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:06,850 It's drafty outside. 452 00:18:09,287 --> 00:18:10,738 Tony, are your chute straps tight? 453 00:18:10,739 --> 00:18:13,240 And for goodness' sake, please, stand up straight. 454 00:18:14,375 --> 00:18:16,076 [SENSOR BUZZES] Go! 455 00:18:16,077 --> 00:18:17,545 Well, come on, Aunt Effie. 456 00:18:17,546 --> 00:18:19,246 Here we go. Jump. 457 00:18:19,247 --> 00:18:20,247 [YELLS] 458 00:18:25,504 --> 00:18:27,337 Aunt Effie? 459 00:18:27,338 --> 00:18:29,173 He called him Aunt Effie. 460 00:18:29,174 --> 00:18:30,507 Oh. Yes, sir. 461 00:18:30,508 --> 00:18:32,843 It's a term we use when we jump out of a plane. 462 00:18:32,844 --> 00:18:34,344 Uh, like "Geronimo." 463 00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:37,281 Aunt Effie! 464 00:18:39,417 --> 00:18:40,617 Aunt Effie? 465 00:18:52,630 --> 00:18:53,730 Any sign of Kiski? 466 00:18:57,068 --> 00:18:58,468 Yes. 467 00:19:02,073 --> 00:19:04,308 He parachuted right in the middle of the enemy camp. 468 00:19:04,309 --> 00:19:05,909 You're kidding. Yeah. 469 00:19:05,910 --> 00:19:07,610 And we're on the wrong side of the river. 470 00:19:07,611 --> 00:19:09,179 You mean we're in enemy territory? 471 00:19:09,180 --> 00:19:10,948 Yeah! 472 00:19:10,949 --> 00:19:13,217 Jeannie! Jeannie! 473 00:19:13,218 --> 00:19:14,284 Hey. 474 00:19:14,285 --> 00:19:17,187 [LAUGHS] Did someone call? 475 00:19:17,755 --> 00:19:19,689 Oh. Jeannie. 476 00:19:19,690 --> 00:19:21,725 Here. There's... 477 00:19:21,726 --> 00:19:24,261 Jeannie, we are in enemy territory. 478 00:19:24,262 --> 00:19:25,429 They've got Kiski. 479 00:19:25,430 --> 00:19:26,663 Do you have any idea what 480 00:19:26,664 --> 00:19:28,599 they're gonna do to him at... At headquarters 481 00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:30,300 if he arrives in his condition, huh? 482 00:19:30,301 --> 00:19:33,103 Anyway, this whole area's surrounded by enemy patrols. 483 00:19:33,104 --> 00:19:34,504 Get us out of here, quick. Yeah. 484 00:19:34,505 --> 00:19:36,385 Well, I thought you'd never ask. 485 00:19:41,462 --> 00:19:42,596 They're gone. 486 00:19:44,932 --> 00:19:46,833 Well, I had them spotted for a moment, sir, 487 00:19:46,834 --> 00:19:48,954 but they seem to have disappeared. 488 00:19:49,437 --> 00:19:50,970 Well I don't know, sir. 489 00:19:50,971 --> 00:19:53,407 They were there just a moment ago but, well, they're gone. 490 00:19:59,931 --> 00:20:01,081 - Don't, sir. - I... 491 00:20:03,868 --> 00:20:05,436 TONY: We're back on the plane. 492 00:20:05,437 --> 00:20:07,971 Yes. Now you can jump on the right side of the river. 493 00:20:07,972 --> 00:20:09,939 No. Jeannie, don't you understand? 494 00:20:09,940 --> 00:20:11,775 We've got to rescue Kiski. 495 00:20:11,776 --> 00:20:13,577 We've got to get to the other side of the... 496 00:20:13,578 --> 00:20:15,245 Ahh! 497 00:20:15,246 --> 00:20:16,246 Come on, Major Healey. 498 00:20:16,247 --> 00:20:17,281 Hey, wait a minute. 499 00:20:17,282 --> 00:20:18,699 You haven't got a parachute. 500 00:20:18,700 --> 00:20:20,851 Yeah. Yes. Isn't that exciting? 501 00:20:20,852 --> 00:20:22,086 Aunt Effie! 502 00:20:24,805 --> 00:20:26,285 [MOUTHS] Aunt Effie. 503 00:20:32,346 --> 00:20:33,346 You sure? 504 00:20:36,567 --> 00:20:38,335 Okay. 505 00:20:38,336 --> 00:20:40,003 All right. 506 00:20:40,004 --> 00:20:41,671 Sentry's spotted two more parachutes 507 00:20:41,672 --> 00:20:43,140 on this side of the river. 508 00:20:43,141 --> 00:20:44,374 Uh, I'll cover this sector. 509 00:20:44,375 --> 00:20:46,743 You blindfold the prisoner. Take him to headquarters. 510 00:20:46,744 --> 00:20:48,878 Untie me. I'll scratch your eyes out! 511 00:20:48,879 --> 00:20:49,879 Move. 512 00:20:59,324 --> 00:21:00,507 The prisoner got away, sir. 513 00:21:01,726 --> 00:21:03,846 Hop in. We'll catch him. 514 00:21:16,274 --> 00:21:18,275 They've been reported where, general? 515 00:21:18,276 --> 00:21:20,110 Right there. 516 00:21:20,111 --> 00:21:22,579 But that's 30 miles from the drop area. 517 00:21:22,580 --> 00:21:23,913 It isn't possible. 518 00:21:23,914 --> 00:21:25,782 Don't ask me to explain it, doctor, 519 00:21:25,783 --> 00:21:28,585 but I know that they helped Kiski escape, 520 00:21:28,586 --> 00:21:31,021 and somehow commandeered an enemy vehicle. 521 00:21:31,022 --> 00:21:33,240 Blue Squadron has got 'em trapped in Box Canyon. 522 00:21:34,042 --> 00:21:35,042 [TELEPHONE RINGS] 523 00:21:37,395 --> 00:21:38,395 General Powlett. 524 00:21:40,898 --> 00:21:42,382 What? 525 00:21:42,383 --> 00:21:43,917 Well, they've got to be there. 526 00:21:43,918 --> 00:21:45,051 Are you sure? 527 00:21:47,021 --> 00:21:48,255 They got out. 528 00:21:48,256 --> 00:21:50,641 Now, how did Kiski do that? 529 00:21:50,642 --> 00:21:53,043 But you said there was no way out, sir. 530 00:21:53,044 --> 00:21:57,030 There was one way. Straight up. 531 00:22:06,441 --> 00:22:07,741 Thanks for the ride, Jeannie. 532 00:22:07,742 --> 00:22:09,209 Oh, You are very welcome, master. 533 00:22:09,210 --> 00:22:10,477 Wait a minute, wait a minute. 534 00:22:10,478 --> 00:22:12,446 What are we gonna do with our fearless leader? 535 00:22:12,447 --> 00:22:14,581 Untie me, you rotten boys. Untie me. 536 00:22:14,582 --> 00:22:15,715 Blink him back to normal. 537 00:22:15,716 --> 00:22:17,417 Oh, but master, he is so mean. 538 00:22:17,418 --> 00:22:19,319 Yeah. Well, I know that, 539 00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:20,920 but I-it's his career, Jeannie. 540 00:22:20,921 --> 00:22:22,456 Go on. And you blink out of here too. 541 00:22:22,457 --> 00:22:23,624 Oh, no, master. Go on. 542 00:22:23,625 --> 00:22:24,625 I'm not kidding. 543 00:22:24,626 --> 00:22:26,467 You never let me have any fun. 544 00:22:27,362 --> 00:22:28,995 Jeannie? [SCREAMS] 545 00:22:28,996 --> 00:22:31,231 Ah! [SCREAMS] 546 00:22:31,232 --> 00:22:32,432 Hold on. You untie him. 547 00:22:32,433 --> 00:22:34,434 Take off his blindfold, and I'll take this off. 548 00:22:34,435 --> 00:22:35,669 [SCREAMS] 549 00:22:35,670 --> 00:22:36,903 Whoa, maybe we better just 550 00:22:36,904 --> 00:22:38,088 take off the blindfold. 551 00:22:38,089 --> 00:22:40,056 Wait a minute. 552 00:22:40,057 --> 00:22:42,659 You meatheaded, goldbricking, jet jockeys! 553 00:22:43,561 --> 00:22:44,645 I'm gonna break you... 554 00:22:44,646 --> 00:22:46,847 Gee, sir. Uh, sir. Can you walk? 555 00:22:46,848 --> 00:22:48,182 Sure, I can walk! What are you? 556 00:22:48,183 --> 00:22:50,951 You got us through that survival mission without a scratch. 557 00:22:50,952 --> 00:22:52,068 Help him, Roger. He's weak. 558 00:22:52,069 --> 00:22:54,488 Who's weak? I'll... The survival mission? 559 00:22:54,489 --> 00:22:56,372 Yeah, you were an inspiration to both of us. 560 00:22:56,373 --> 00:22:57,357 Don't you remember, sir? 561 00:22:57,358 --> 00:22:58,926 Well, of course he doesn't remember. 562 00:22:58,927 --> 00:23:01,245 He struck his head on that rock, trying to save your life. 563 00:23:01,246 --> 00:23:03,163 I did? On the survival course? 564 00:23:03,164 --> 00:23:04,631 Steady. Whoa. Take it easy. 565 00:23:04,632 --> 00:23:06,800 I'm perfectly all right. I'm perfectly all right. 566 00:23:06,801 --> 00:23:08,201 All right. Just leave me alone. 567 00:23:08,202 --> 00:23:09,369 Whoa. Le... Let me down. 568 00:23:09,370 --> 00:23:11,070 You and Healey? On the survival course? 569 00:23:11,071 --> 00:23:12,071 I did? 570 00:23:12,072 --> 00:23:13,239 We'll tell you all about it 571 00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:15,108 before General Powlett gets here. 572 00:23:15,109 --> 00:23:17,343 Okay. Okay. But just... Just help me. 573 00:23:17,344 --> 00:23:18,512 I... I don't feel too good. 574 00:23:18,513 --> 00:23:21,247 I don't know how you did it. 575 00:23:21,248 --> 00:23:23,683 Your act is gonna go down in history 576 00:23:23,684 --> 00:23:25,685 as one of the most heroic acts ever. 577 00:23:33,528 --> 00:23:36,630 And so, gentlemen, because of your miraculous, 578 00:23:36,631 --> 00:23:39,499 and in my view, highly suspicious success, 579 00:23:39,500 --> 00:23:40,834 headquarters has decided to 580 00:23:40,835 --> 00:23:42,703 abandon Commander Kiski's program. 581 00:23:42,704 --> 00:23:43,704 Abandon it, sir? 582 00:23:43,705 --> 00:23:45,071 Well, if it were such a success, 583 00:23:45,072 --> 00:23:46,673 why... Why do they want to abandon it? 584 00:23:46,674 --> 00:23:48,475 Because we feel that you had already been 585 00:23:48,476 --> 00:23:50,510 superbly conditioned as astronauts. 586 00:23:50,511 --> 00:23:52,178 Ah. N-no more punishment. 587 00:23:52,179 --> 00:23:54,080 Uh, from now on, it's, uh, easy living, huh? 588 00:23:54,081 --> 00:23:56,099 However, headquarters feels that it's vital 589 00:23:56,100 --> 00:23:57,701 to maintain your fine conditioning. 590 00:23:57,702 --> 00:23:58,936 And to that end, 591 00:23:58,937 --> 00:24:01,338 they have assigned a permanent physical instructor. 592 00:24:06,677 --> 00:24:10,647 You soft-bellied lounge lizards. 593 00:24:10,648 --> 00:24:14,084 This is where I remove the fat from your frame. 594 00:24:14,085 --> 00:24:16,053 Right. Put that down! 595 00:24:16,054 --> 00:24:17,054 Now get moving. 596 00:24:17,055 --> 00:24:18,421 What are you standing here for? 597 00:24:18,422 --> 00:24:19,422 [BLOWS WHISTLE] 598 00:24:19,423 --> 00:24:21,225 Hut two, hut two, hut two. 599 00:24:22,260 --> 00:24:24,394 Marshmallows. Ho-ho. 600 00:24:24,395 --> 00:24:25,729 You guys, move it! 601 00:24:25,730 --> 00:24:26,830 [BLOWS WHISTLE] 602 00:24:31,736 --> 00:24:35,088 [♪] 40529

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