All language subtitles for I Dream of Jeannie (1965) - S01E29 - My Master, the Magician (480p DVD x265 Silence)_track3_[eng]

[♪♪♪]

Boy.

Master.
Oh.

Hello, Jeannie.
What are you doing here?

Well, it is almost midnight.

Oh, really?
Is it that late?

I have your dinner waiting
for you at home, master.

Oh, I'm afraid I'm gonna
have to finish

all this paperwork
before I can leave.

I, um-- I won't be able to make
dinner at home tonight, Jeannie.

Sorry.

Ah! Then I shall
bring it here.

[LAUGHS]

Dinner is served!

Well.

Well, this is
really something, Jeannie.

You really
are marvelous.

TONY:
This banquet
is fit for a king.

JEANNIE:
Oh, but you are a king,
O master.

TONY:
This is absolutely wonderful.

JEANNIE:
Oh, I am so glad.

Would you like
a roast sheep?

No. No, not tonight.

I may even have a little
difficulty eating this.

An orgy with a harem girl
at NASA?

Yes, sir.

I don't believe it.

I wouldn't have believed it
either, general,

if I hadn't seen it
with my own eyes.

Major Nelson must've smuggled
her onto the base somehow.

Why, there was enough
food there for 50 people.

General, please.

The other guests are probably
arriving right now.

If you woke me up
in the middle of the night

for another one of
your wild goose chases--

Sir, I saw this myself.

This time I've caught
Major Nelson.

All right. Let's go.

Would you like some
smoked breast of peacock?

Ah, all right,
I'll give it a try.

Do you think
I am a good cook, master?

Mmm, delightful, Jeannie.
Absolutely delightful.

Ah, and you are not angry
that I came here?

No, no.

I'm delighted you did.
You don't have to worry.

In the daytime it's dangerous.
Bellows never comes at night.

There's your orgy, sir.

[♪♪♪]

Ah, did you, uh--?
Did you say "orgy," sir?

No, he said "orgy."

Didn't you, doctor?

I'll finish cleanin' in here,
I'll get on to the next office.

Uh, just a moment.

How long have you been
in this office?

Oh, about 45 minutes.

And you didn't see a lady
in here with a...

scanty costume?

No, but I'll sure keep
my eye open for her.

Ah, well, well, maybe it was
one of the other offices, sir.

They all look alike,
you know.

What are you
eating there, major?

Oh, this is, uh, breast of pea-
Cheese sandwich, sir.

Ah, it's hardly enough
for 50 people, is it?

It was all so vivid!

I saw the girl,
I-- I saw the food.

And you're going
to see me

tomorrow morning
at 8:00 in my office.

We're gonna talk about
waking up generals

in the middle
of the night.
Yes, sir.

And I'll say
one thing more, doctor.

The next time you think
that Major Nelson

is guilty of anything wrong,
you better have it in writing.

I'll remember that, sir.

Yeah, goodnight,
gentlemen.

Good night, sir.
Good night.

Jeannie.

Jeannie, you can
come out now.

Jeannie, come on.
I'm not angry at you.

You really are not angry
with me, master?

No, no, of course not.
As a matter of fact,

I-- I think maybe it's the
best thing that ever happened.

Uh, I just come from the base,

and Dr. Bellows is gonna be
apologizing to General Peterson

for the next six months.

Oh, I don't think
we'll have to worry

about Dr. Bellows anymore.

Oh, that is wonderful.

I am so happy.

You have been
terribly nervous lately.

Yeah, well, you'd be nervous too
if you had a psychiatrist

watching your every move
24 hours a day.

Ah, well, now that the danger
has passed, just relax.

Mmm? Relax?

With Dr. Bellows
off my back,

I feel like I'm floating
on a cloud.

[LAUGHS]

No, no. no, no.

Comfy, master?

Yeah, yeah,
that's great.

[HUMMING LULLABY]

Ahh!

You know...

You know, after last night,
I really need a nap.

Ah, Jeannie.

Jeannie, that's-- That's
enough of the rocking, I think.

Oh, this is absolutely
marvelous.

It-- It's the only way
to rest.

Everybody should be able
to do this.

Say, there's a lot
of room.

Why don't you come up here
with me?

I don't have a ladder.

Well, hello, Dr. Bellows.

What are you doing here?

You're asking me
what I'm doing?

The question is,
what are you doing, major?

Well, you see,
I can explain.

Don't say a word.

Uh, sir--
Just write.

Just write,
"I, Major Anthony Nelson..."

Yeah, but, sir--
Ah! Write.

Write.

"I, Major Anthony Nelson..."

TONY:
Major...

Anthony Nelson...

"Do hereby admit
that I was seen

"floating in the air
of my living room

by Dr. Alfred Bellows."

"Dr. Alfred Bellows."
Um, sir, this is--

Sign it.

Mmm.

There, um, sorry.

Major Nelson,

I've waited a long time
for this.

But I think I've finally
got you.

Yes, sir, this time I think
I finally got you.

Oh, you mean
the old levitation trick.

The old levitation trick?

Yes, ah, well,
I'm an amateur magician.

Well, you didn't think

that I could actually float
in the air by myself.

Oh. You have a very
suspicious mind, sir.

Well, that's what
General Peterson told me

for two hours and 15 minutes.

I don't care
what anyone says, major.

I saw a harem girl
in your office last night,

and I saw you floating
in the air just now.

Yeah, whoa, yes,
but I said--

I know
what you said.

So you're a magician.

Well, we're gonna
find out

just how good a magician
you really are.

And you better be good, major.
You better be very good.

Well-- The thing--
This can all be explained...

Oh, he is up to
something bad, master.

Yeah, you're telling me.

Would you like me
to turn him into something?

No, no, Jeannie.

I just hope he doesn't
turn me into something.

Like, maybe, a civilian.

You mean, Dr. Bellows
caught you in the air?

Yeah. Jeannie couldn't
get me down in time.

And before that,
he caught you in the office.

Roger, he's driving me crazy.

Well, what do you think
you're doing to him?

It's a question of
which one cracks first.

Well, I'll tell you who's
gonna crack first, I am.

Look, as long as he can't
prove anything,

there's nothing
to worry about.

Yeah, well, I don't know
about that.

Dr. Bellows is no idiot,
you know.

Dr. Bellows is-- Ah, we were
just talking about you, sir.

I'll bet you were. And I was
just talking about you.

We're putting on
a little show

for the personnel
at the base Saturday.

A show.
I love shows, sir.

General Peterson

thought you might help
to entertain.

Me? Well, I don't really
do anything, sir.

Don't be so modest, major.

Modest? Tony?

You're the greatest magician
in the whole world.

Uh, you can do a little
magic act for us, major.

Oh, ah, no--
Well, I-- I just--

I'll tell General Peterson
that you've accepted.

Well, uh, goodbye,
gentlemen.

Roger--

Master.
Yeah?

Be careful,
it is a trap.

Look, why don't you get yourself
sent to detached duty somewhere?

Listen, if I'm not careful,

I'm gonna be detached
from the astronaut program.

Look, uh, what makes you
think something's up?

Please do not appear
in this show, master.

I haven't any choice, Jeannie.

I already told him
I was an amateur magician.

You're gonna have to be
a professional magician

to get outta this.

I can turn you into
a wonderful magician.

No, no, that's just
what I don't want, Jeannie.

Saturday night I'm gonna go up
there as an amateur magician,

and Doctor Bellows
won't be able to prove a thing.

[HUMMING]

Oh, operator, I'd like to place
a call to Cincinnati, Ohio.

I want to talk
to Nestor the Great.

N-E-S-T-O-R.

That's right.

At the Palace Theater.

Thank you.

Um, now, ladies and gentlemen,
I want you to notice

I have absolutely nothing
up my sleeves.

I take an ordinary walking cane,

which I turn,
by the use of magic,

into a beautiful bunch
of flowers.

You're a real amateur's amateur.

They don't make these things
the way they used to. I...

Oh! That is lovely, master.

There you are, madam.

Eh, and now
for my next trick,

I will-- Oh, yes.

Uh, for my next trick,
with your kind attention,

I will make this, uh, er,
everyday, ordinary, um, um--

Fish bowl?
Fish bowl.

Fish bowl disappear into
thin air before your very eyes.

Bravo!

Jeannie, I haven't
done the trick yet.

Oh. Sorry.

Abracadabra, kalamazoo!

Um, uh...

[LAUGHS]

Jeannie, I would very much
like to do my own magic.

Are you sure you're ready
for show business?

Now, for my next trick, uh...

I will need my hat, please.

[SIGHS]

Sure.

Thank you.

Wait a minute.

You're not going to
break an egg in your cap?

Well, believe it or not, this is
the easiest trick in the book.

I will now, with the aid
of my magic wand,

and, uh, a little bit of magic,

turn this egg
into scrambled eggs.

Er, abracadabra, kalamazoo,
presto!

And here we have...

Oh, that's the funniest thing
I ever saw in my whole life.

That is lovely.

Did you see that,
Jeannie? Oh!

Wait until I tell the guys
in the base about this.

Oh, you scrambled an egg
in my hat.

Oh, my-- Oh, my hat.

Flowers and the silk.
Oh, yeah, the silk.

And the bag, right.

Please, master,
let me turn him into a frog.

No.
A bat?

Jeannie, Dr. Bellows
is only doing his job.

And you are only
doing your job, master.

Yeah-- Well, unfortunately,
my job does not include

floating around
in my own living room.

Can you not say
that you had an accident?

Then you would not have
to do your magic act.

They'd never believe me.

Oh!

Oh, really,
that's too obvious.

Look, let's face it, I've got to
go through with this.

And I want you
to promise me something.

Oh, yes, master.

I want you to promise me
that no matter what happens,

no matter what, you won't
help me with my magic.

Oh, I cannot
promise you that, master.

I have seen your magic, and you
need all the help you can get.

Uh, that's beside
the point, Jeannie.

I want you to promise me.

Oh, but--
Jeannie.

Very well, master.

I promise I will not help you
with your magic.

Thank you.

Aren't you even gonna...
wish me good luck?

Well, I'll be happy
to wish you good luck,

but I have a terrible feeling
it is not going to do any good.

Jeannie, please.

Hmm?

Thank you.

I'm afraid I don't understand,
Dr. Bellows.

Oh, sit down, uh,
Mr. Nestor.

Thank you.

You mean, you brought me
all the way here

just to watch
another magician perform?

Uh, well, this man is not
a magician, Mr. Nestor.

He's an imposter.

Well, if you already
know that, why do you need me?

Well, I need you
to expose him.

You see, there's one trick
that he does

that I can't explain.

Ah.

Um, he floats in the air.

Floats in the air!

Yes.

Um, he calls it
the old levitation trick.

Oh, my dear doctor,
that is child's play.

We use a mechanical
device for that.

Well, I'm well aware
of that.

But, uh, there was
no mechanical device.

I checked.

No mechanical device?

That's right.

I want you
to watch him tonight.

Uh, tell me
how he does it.

Don't worry, doctor. There
is not a trick in the world

Nestor the Great
cannot explain.

Oh, you have no idea how I'm
counting on that, Mr. Nestor.

Oh, the show
is about to begin.

Shall we go?

Here we are.

Now, you've heard about
babysitters.

Here's a monkey-sitter.

Ah, right around.

Right around.
Come on, up and in.

[APPLAUSE]

Um, would you like to sit
in front, Mr. Nestor,

where you can get
a good view of his act?

Oh, it does not matter
where I sit.

I can spot a phony
a mile away.

Tony!

Tony, Nestor the Great
is out in the audience.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. I just heard him tell
Dr. Bellows

that he can spot
a phony a mile away.

You gotta get outta here.

Hey, you're on next, major.

Oh, uh,
thanks, sarge.

You mean, you're really
gonna go out there

and walk into their trap?

Well, I really don't have
any other choice, do I?

You don't seem
very worried about it.

No. No, I'm not.

What's up?
I am.

Or, at least I will be when
I get on this little beauty.

What is it? It looks like
an erector set

that got carried away.

Roger, this is what
we magicians use to levitate.

You're really going
to float in the air on that?

Mm-hmm. And, uh,
when Mr. Nestor examines it,

he won't have any choice
but to tell Dr. Bellows

that it's an everyday,
normal magician's trick.

And you'll be
off the hook.

That's right.

Oh, you're
a genius, Tony.

Come on, quick, buddy.
Come on, turn around.

[APPLAUSE]

Good luck, major.

Oh, thank you.

You're on, major.

Oh, um, now, you remember
what I told you.

I want you to wheel
this contraption in back

of the curtains over there
in the exact spot I showed you.

And when I say the lines...

BOTH:
"I feel the spirits
lifting me up."

Yeah, that's when you start
the motor.

Okay.
Uh, okay.

Well, I'm going to
enjoy the show.

Ah, well, good luck.

[FABRIC RIPS]

Uh, ladies and gentlemen,
I, uh...

I'm very pleased
to be here tonight.

I have a calling card,
somewhere.

Oh, yes.

[APPLAUSE]

Right, yes.

Uh, now, of course, no magic act
is complete without the, uh...

The magic wand.

And, um, I'm going
to produce one.

[APPLAUSE]

He is no magician.

Be patient, Mr. Nestor.

Uh, I'll be right back.

TONY:
Uh, ladies and gentlemen...

Oh, well, you're not walking out
on Tony's act, are you, sir?

Oh, no, major.

You might say
that I'm walking in on it.

And now, ladies and gentlemen,

I want you to notice
a perfectly normal handkerchief

which I will stuff into my fist
just to show you

that the hand is quicker
than the eye.

[LAUGHTER]

Sorry.

Uh, what's this,
sergeant?

This is the gadget
that Major Nelson uses

to help him float up
in the air.

Is it?

Well, you underestimate him.

Major Nelson
doesn't need anything

to help him float
in the air.

Get rid of it.

Sir, but he told me

to wheel it out
in back of the curtain.

And I'm telling you not to.
He's a major and I'm a colonel.

Any questions?

No, sir.

Now, ladies and gentlemen,
I'd like to perform from you

a rather spectacular trick I've
been working on for some time.

It's, uh, as we call it
in the trade

the pièce de résistance.

Uh, it's rather difficult to do,

and you must feel that your
spirits are lifting you up.

Yeah, uh.

Uh, you really have to be
in the mood for this.

You must feel that your spirits
are lifting you up.

Lifting you up!

Something's gone wrong.

I think he needs
the machine, colonel.

TONY:
Lifting you up!

You're wrong, sergeant.

Tonight, he is gonna
float without it.

Excuse me for just
one moment, please.

Hey, sergeant, where is
my levi--? Oh, Dr. Bellows.

Good evening,
Major Nelson.

I-I-- Now, I told you I wanted
my levitation machine

right behind that curtain
over there. You understand?

Major Nelson, I have
a signed statement from you

saying that you were
floating in the air.

There was no levitation
device around.

Now, either you're going out
on that stage

and float in the air
without this device,

or you're coming with me
to General Peterson's office

and explain a lot of things.

And explain a lot of things?

That's right, major.

How you float,
why you talk to walls,

what made you fall in love
with Major Healey's safe.

Oh, I have a list
of 103 separate incidents.

Well, ah, um--

Now, either you get back
out there on that stage

and do the old
levitation trick,

or come with me
to General Peterson's.

Now, which is it
gonna be?

I'll come with you to
General Peterson's office.

Good. Now, go back
out there and say goodnight.

Er, but, I, ah--

Major.

Ladies and gentlemen,

my next trick is going to be,
ahem, to make myself disappear.

I'm sorry I wasn't able
to perform the trick

I prepared for you, but, uh--

I told you Tony
was in trouble.

He is supposed to float
in the air.

But, Jeannie,
you gotta help him.

Oh, but I promised
that I would not.

This is an emergency.
If he doesn't float in the air,

Dr. Bellows is going
to think something's wrong,

and Tony'll get in
all kinds of trouble.

Do you really think so?

I know so.

Jeannie, you gotta
help him this time.

I hope you are right.

Well, I-I hope you all enjoy--
Enjoyed the show tonight.

And if you did,
please tell your friends

we'll be here
next year.

Uh, well, it seems that I--
I'm in the mood after all.

[APPLAUSE]

Oh, boy, what a team
you two make.

Is he not wonderful?

Mr. Nestor, I want you to
come up on the stage

and examine this man.

I would be delighted.

Hello. I'm--
I'm Tony Nelson.

He is floating!

Oh, what do you mean
he's floating?

I don't know what I mean, but
what he is doing is impossible.

How could it be impossible?
I mean, after all, I'm doing it.

General Peterson!

Oh, there's no need
to call General--

Look, look!
He's doing it!

He's
floating!

That's what
I told you, general.

Oh, hello, general.
How are you?

What are you doing
up there, Tony?

Well, it's just a--
A magician's trick, sir.

Mr. Nestor can explain.

NESTOR:
Oh, he is lying.

It's been a long,
long time.

There is no magician
in the world

who can do
what he is doing.

How come he's doing it?

Thank you, Jeannie.

I do not understand this!

So this is
your expert witness!

Well, obviously anybody
can do it.

PETERSON:
Doctor.

Yes, sir.

He's done it to me again.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Oh, poor Dr. Bellows.
General Peterson was so angry.

Yeah, I know.

That-- That's really
my fault, Jeannie.

We've got to be more careful
with that door.

Oh, I was so proud
of you.

Hmm?

You are a wonderful
magician.

Oh. Well, I-- You're really
being too kind.

You know,
when I was a kid,

I used to watch
the Great Nestor,

and he had
a wonderful trick.

He used to take a seed
and cover it over with a cloth,

and a tree would appear right
in the middle of the stage.

I never did find out
how he did that.

Oh, that is simple.

[DOOR OPENS]
[GASPS]

Well, uh, hello, good mor--
Sir, hello.

Good morning, major.

Well, good morning, sir.

I thought I'd drop
these papers off for you.

Oh. Thank you.

Uh...

this wasn't here yesterday,
was it?

No.

[HUMMING]

[♪♪♪]