All language subtitles for I Dream of Jeannie (1965) - S01E24 - The Permanent House Guest (480p DVD x265 Silence)_track3_[eng]

Jeannie.

Jeannie, uh,
would you come out, please?

I'd like my breakfast.

Yes, master, one egg
and two slices of bacon.

That's right.

[SIGHS]

What's the matter?

Oh...nothing.

Oh, now, now, come on.
Something's on your mind.

W-what is it?

Well...

If you must know,
I am being wasted.
Huh?

Anyone can make you one egg
and two slices of bacon.

Oh, if you would
only permit me,

I could do such big things
for you.

I could give you castles
and gold and--

One egg, two slices of bacon,
not too crisp, please.

I gave my last master
a fleet of ships.

And a cup of coffee.

Why do you not let me
help you?

Jeannie, I-- I really don't
need a fleet of ships.

But if I do, believe me,
you'll be the first to know.

Perhaps a villa on the Nile?

Really, I'm very happy
with the house.

It's-- It's very comfortable.
Just breakfast, please.

Major Healey loved the yacht
I gave him.

Yeah. Look at the trouble
he got into.

There is a wonderful
diamond mine in Africa

I could get you.

Jeannie, I--
I don't need a diamond mine.

I get a salary
from the air force,

very adequate.
And, uh--

And I must say,
I earn my salary.

See, that's the point.

I like to do things
for myself.

I will be a laughing stock.

A genie who can only bring
her master bacon and eggs.

Well, look at it this way:
who's to know?

Master, wish for one big thing.

Jeannie, I don't need
anything. I--

Oh, it would make me
so happy.

You do not
even have to say it aloud.

Just think it.

But I don't want anything.
Really.

Please?

Come on, now, the biggest thing
you can think of.

Uh--
Ready?

Yeah.

[ELEPHANT TRUMPETS]

What are you going
to do with that?

Yeah...

It was the biggest thing
I could think of.

Major Nelson?

It's Doctor Bellows.
Get out of here, please?

And take him with you.

I will leave.
You may keep the elephant.

But wait--

Uh--

Oh, there you are,
Major Nelson.

Hi, there.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[ELEPHANT TRUMPETS]

I can't wait...
to hear your explanation

of what you're doing
with an elephant

in your bedroom.

Uh, I'm glad
you asked that, sir.

Uh, a friend of mine
left him here?

Uh, and my next question
is going to be:

why?

Ye-- Well, it's a very
valuable animal, sir.

I mean, you just can't leave
an elephant anywhere.

[GIGGLES]

Uh, my friend takes him

on safaris uh, uh,
in Africa with him.

He insists
that he stay indoors, sir.

You know how it is
with animals.

Major, I want you to wait
right here.

Do you understand?

Right here.

Jeannie.

Very funny.

Jeannie.

Oh, are you satisfied?

Well, it was you who wished
for the elephant.

Would you mind getting rid
of him?

If you wish.

What's this?

[LAUGHS]
I did not know, master.

Were you thinking
about a poodle?

Yeah, I guess I was.

When I was a kid,

I had a little poodle
called Tiger.

Hi, there, Tiger.

Hi, there.

[POODLE SNARLS]

Oh.

An elephant in his bedroom?

General Peterson,
I saw it with my own eyes.

His name is Tiger.

Doctor, what would
an elephant be doing

in Major Nelson's bedroom?

With Major Nelson,
anything is possible.

I repeat,
general, anything.

You have no idea what I've been
going through with him, sir.

But now I think we finally got
his psyche pinned to the mat.

He'll never talk
his way out of this one.

If this is another one
of your wild goose chases--

Wild elephant chase, sir.

We're going on the biggest
safari of them all:

bagging Major Nelson.

Oh, Doctor Bellows,
General Peterson.

Sorry to barge in on you
like this, Tony.

This will only take a minute,
major.

He's in the bedroom, general.

Under the bed?

He was standing right there.

I swear he was.

This big.

Tony.

Yes.

Did you have an elephant
in your bedroom?

[LAUGHING]
Did I have an elephant
in my bedroom?

Uh-uh, you're not gonna get
out of this one, major.

You called him Tiger.

Tiger. Tiger.

Oh, oh, Tiger.

Yes.
Now do you recall?

Yes.
Oh, yes, sir.

Here we are.

Here's Tiger.

He's a cute
little fellow, huh?

That's Tiger?

So we're going on a safari
to hunt wild elephants, are we?

Doctor, I want you
in my office in 30 minutes.

And be prepared to spend
the afternoon with me.

Yes, sir.

I'm sorry
to have bothered you, Tony.

Oh, that's quite
all right, sir.

No bother at all.

It won't happen again.

You haven't heard
the last of this.

You haven't heard
the last of this, major.

Oh, general.

[SNARLING]

Jeannie.

You see?
I can help you.

How did I get in this spot
in the first place?

I feel sorry
for Doctor Bellows.

He's a very nice man.

Well, I'd feel
sorry for him too,

except for one thing:

If he ever finds out
about you,

I'm gonna get thrown out
of the space program.

Oh, could you not
explain to him

that you found me
in a bottle on the beach?

Sure, that's--
Of course, of course.

And when I'm finished
explaining it to him,

he'll have me locked up.
Ha, ha.

[DOOR OPENS]

They're back.

Hi.
Hi, Tony.

It's only you.

Boy, you sure know how to make
a fellow feel welcome.

Hello, Captain Healey.

Hi, Jeannie.
How's tricks?

[CHUCKLES]

[CHUCKLES]

I have not had much time
to practice them.

Well, you should've picked me
for your master.

I'd keep you working
24 hours a day.

Oh, I am very pleased
with the master I have.

Thank you.

Well, if you should change
your mind,

remember I, uh, pay overtime.

Hey, what's that?

That's Tiger.

Hi, Tiger.

[SNARLS]

Uh, didn't I see Doctor Bellows
and General Peterson leave here?

Yeah, yeah.

Doctor Bellows
is seeing elephants.

Well, that's
the psychiatry game for ya.

Well, we better be
moving along.

They're running some films
of yours on your space walk

and some big brass
is coming down from Washington,

and, uh, they'd like us
to be there.

Yeah, okay.

Um, I'll be home for dinner.

I shall fix something special,
master.

When you're through,
maybe you could mix me, uh,

up a little something.
A little-- Maybe hors d'oeuvres.

[LAUGHS]

And what do you wish for,
little Tiger?

There you go.

[LAUGHS]

Mmm.

PETERSON:
There's Major Nelson ready
to step off into space.

There he goes.

Major Healey,
when you were at the controls

and Major Nelson left the ship,

did you notice any difference
in the handling of the controls?

Well, when he stepped out,
the ship yawed a bit,

but it was easy to correct.

MAN:
Major Nelson, did you have
any problem

adjusting to floating in space

as opposed to floating
in the capsule?

TONY:
Well, I suppose
there was a difference

psychologically, sir.

Inside the capsule,
you have a feeling of security,

and outside, you wonder
whether you're gonna float away.

I must say it was...
an exhilarating feeling.

It must have been.

I really envy you, major.

I can arrange for you to go
along on one of our moon shots.

That's very kind of you,
general,

but I'm really swamped
with work right here.

Well, if you gentlemen
will come back to my office,

I'll show you the new
correlation charts

we have on the moon probe.

All right. All right.

Oh, Major Nelson.

Yes, sir.

How's Tiger?

Tiger?

Oh, uh, fine.
Just fine.

Say hello to him for me,
won't you?

Yes.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Your, uh, dinner is ready,
master.

[CHUCKLES]

Okay, I'll-- I'll be
with you in just a minute.

Soon as I finish
these correlations.

Well, how about that.

Say, what are you
all dressed up for?

I thought we were eating
at home.

Oh, yes.

But I thought it might be nice
if we dressed for it.

Ah, you look handsome,
master.

Thanks.

Oh, you would look wonderful

on the deck of your own yacht.

Jeannie, we've been through
all this.

No yacht.

I don't know how I'm gonna make
you understand.

I don't want anything else
in the world

except to be an astronaut.

Now why don't you
just forget it,

and we'll go down
and enjoy your dinner. Hmm?

If you say so, master.

That's what I wish.

Oh, you should see
what I made for you.

I have a wonderful--

No, now, don't tell me.

I want it to be a surprise.

All right.

I can't get over that.
You just look wonderful.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

It's probably Roger.

He's crazy about your cooking.

Uh--

Oh, Dr. Bellows.

Major.

This is, uh-- Uh,
an unexpected pleasure.

Is it?
Yes.

Were you going out?
Going out, sir?

No, I was just having
a little dinner here alone.

In a dinner jacket?
A dinner jacket?

Oh. Ha, ha.

Uh, well, it's an old habit.

It, uh-- It makes
the food taste better.

Oh.

Uh, are you going
somewhere, sir?

Yes, you might say that.

I'm taking a trip
that's long overdue.

Good, good.

I-- I mean,
have a good time, sir.

Drop me a line
if you get a chance.

I expect to have the most
interesting time of my life.

Good.

Uh, may I ask
where you're going?

Indeed you may, major.

Oh.

Did you say
you were dining alone?

The table is set for two.

Two?

Oh, oh,

you never know when
a friend will drop in, do you?

Well, thanks for dropping in
to say goodbye, sir.

Oh. I haven't come
to say goodbye.

You haven't?

No, major.

As a matter of fact,
you might say

that I've come to say hello.

I'm moving in with you.

This is really
a bachelor's place, sir.

I don't know how comfortable
I can make you.

Oh, the couch will be fine.

I'm not here
to be comfortable.

Well, why are you here, sir?

Because General Peterson
thinks I'm losing my mind.

But I'm gonna prove to him
that I'm normal.

Uh, shall we, uh,
go in to dinner?

Ahh!

Is that pheasant under glass?

Probably.

Truffles?

Rack of lamb?
Stuffed artichokes?

Who cooked this, major?

Oh, uh, we have
a frozen-food market just--

[LOUD CRASH]

It's my housekeeper.

Ah.

You have a housekeeper?

Well, you don't think
that I cooked this.

Oh, well, no, sir.

No, no, no.

Patricia is a marvelous cook.

Uh, but she doesn't like anyone
in her kitchen, sir.

Patricia is very, uh--

Patricia,
your housekeeper?

Pedro, my houseboy.

Pedro...

this is Doctor Bellows.

[SQUEAKY SPANISH ACCENT]
Hello, Doctor Bellows.

Hello, Pedro.

I was just complimenting
Major Nelson

on how marvelous
the food looks.

Yes, uh, well, uh, I think we
ought to go in and eat, sir--

Uh, tell me,
where are you from, Pedro?

I was born in Paris.

Paris?

Sí.

That's why
I'm so very good cook.

Yeah, we really ought
to start eating, sir.

Uh, how long have you worked
for Major Nelson?

Uh, he just started--
One year.

He just started a year ago.

I-- I think we ought to eat now.

Ai Chihuahua.

Is he gonna stay for dinner?

Uh, Pedro,

he's not only staying
for dinner.

He's moved in with me.

[DISHES SMASHING]

Pedro.

Now, Pedro. Pedro.

Uh, I-- I told you,

Pedro doesn't like anybody
in his kitchen, sir.

He may be a marvelous cook,
major, but he's dangerous.

I'd get rid of him
if I were you.

Believe me, sir.
You've no idea how I've tried.

[DISHES SHATTERING]

[DOORBELL RINGING]

Coming, coming, coming.

Tony.

Is-- Is anything wrong?

I just acquired
a permanent houseguest.

Three guesses.

Suzanne?

Doctor Alfred Bellows.

Oh. Oh, you're kidding.

What are we going to do?

What are we going to do?

What are you--
It's your houseguest.

How did he happen to
move in with you, anyway?

Well, he didn't happen
to move in.

He moved in because
he's suspicious.

Oh, there's nothing worse than
a suspicious head shrinker.

I need your help.

Wait a minute,
don't give him to me.

I'm not giving you him.
I'm giving you Jeannie.

You are?

Oh. Oh, well,
I'll drink to that.

Uh, just until I get rid
of Dr. Bellows.

Remember, it's only
for the duration.

Oh, what do you think I am?

I know what you are.
I'm taking a chance, anyway.

[SNORING]

Fire.

Fire!

Fire.

Fire.

Fire!

[SMASH]

I got it. I got it.

What's going on?

I don't know,
but whatever it is,

I think we've gotten
to the bottom of it.

It was a bottle.

A bottle?
What kind of a bottle?

I trailed the bottle over--

Oh.

Well, it's not a total loss.

You better get some rest, sir.

I don't understand it.

I-- I must have
had a nightmare.

It was so real.

Yes.
These things happen.

Yes. I'll-- I'll buy
you a new lamp, of course.

Oh, no. You don't
have to bother, sir.

It was an antique.

Sir, uh, could we get
some sleep now?

I have an awful
rough day tomorrow.

Oh, yes, yes, of course.
I'm-- I'm terribly sorry.

I-- Oh.

My nerves seem to be on edge.
Yeah.

Oh.

When I was a...
A small boy,

my mother loved
my younger brother

more than she loved me. I--

I didn't think I minded it
at the time,

but then as years went by,
I began to resent it.

I didn't actually hate
my brother,

but I found myself working out
ways to do away with him.

[FOOT DRAGGING]

[DRAGGING STOPS]

[GRUMBLES]

[DRAGGING CONTINUES]

[DRAGGING STOPS]

[TRAIN CHUGGING]

[HEAVY BREATHING]

[GRUMBLES]

[LION ROARING]

[HIGH-PITCHED WHISTLING]

[NATIVE AMERICAN DRUMS,
WHOOPING]

[SCREAMS]

[WHOOPING CONTINUES]

What is it? What is it?

The Indians.
Huh?

Indians are coming.
Indians?

Listen, they're closing in.

Doctor, you've got to pull
yourself together.

I am together.

I heard these footsteps.
Then this train was coming.

Then someone was
breathing in my ear.

Then this lion roared.

Lion roared?
Yes.

That was just before
the bomb start falling.

The bomb started falling?

Yes.
And then--

Ooh, then the tom-toms started.

They were on the warpath.

Yelling and screaming.
It was a nightmare.

Yeah, doctor, that's exactly
what it was: a nightmare.

Now, you must get some sleep.

Sleep?

I wouldn't sleep in this house
again if my life depended on it.

You wouldn't?

If you'll take my advice,
you'll get out of here yourself.

In my opinion,
this house is haunted.

Oh, you don't believe
in ghosts, do you, sir?

Well, I didn't yesterday,
but I do today.

Well, doctor, aren't you
gonna get dressed?

There's no time.

They may be gathering
for another attack.

[CHUCKLES]

Well...

[LAUGHS]

He's gone, master.

Yes, I know.

Oh, Jeannie.

You're marvelous.

I can't tell you how great
it is to be alone again.

ROGER:
Good morning.

Hi, Roge.

Good morning,
Major Healey.

Just call me master.

Master?

Well, temporarily,
of course.

Well, look, since I'll be
taking over for a while,

I made out a little list of
some of the things I'll need--

Roger, there's been
a change in plans,
for one thing.

First of all,
I'd like some ski equipment,

nothing elaborate.
About 15 outfits.

And I'd like--

Jeannie won't be
staying with you, Roge.

Maybe someplace in the mountains
with about 30 rooms,

with a cute maid.

Roger, uh,
I'm keeping Jeannie.

What?

I'm keeping Jeannie.

Doctor Bellows left.
Everything is all right.

What do you mean
everything's all right?

I just lost a 30-room chalet,

a 15-piece ski outfit
and a cute maid.

All right.

Uh, Jeannie, could you
give him the maid?

Certainly, master.

You mean you're gonna--
Oh, what a pal.

I'm Agnes.

I don't work on Sundays,
and I take holidays off.

I don't do no heavy cleanin'.

And I cook only twice a week.

Now, the food's simple,
so if you like it fancy,

you can just go
to a restaurant.

Besides that,
I want two television sets.

One for the bedroom
and one for the kitchen.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]