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1
00:00:02,103 --> 00:00:04,236
[♪♪♪]
2
00:00:04,271 --> 00:00:05,770
Now?
3
00:00:05,806 --> 00:00:08,707
Yes, I can-- I can bring them
over right now.
4
00:00:08,742 --> 00:00:10,342
At the country club.
5
00:00:10,378 --> 00:00:12,011
Yes, sir.
Right away, sir.
6
00:00:14,815 --> 00:00:16,448
Would you mind knocking
the next time?
7
00:00:16,484 --> 00:00:17,916
Certainly,
master.
8
00:00:17,951 --> 00:00:19,684
Where shall
we go first?
9
00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:20,886
Oh, uh, Jeannie,
I'm sorry.
10
00:00:20,921 --> 00:00:22,554
Something very
important has come up.
11
00:00:22,589 --> 00:00:24,123
I won't be able
to take you out today.
12
00:00:24,158 --> 00:00:25,357
But you promised.
13
00:00:25,393 --> 00:00:27,159
This is Saturday,
and you're not working.
14
00:00:27,194 --> 00:00:28,560
And you said
that you would spend
15
00:00:28,595 --> 00:00:29,561
the whole day with me.
16
00:00:29,596 --> 00:00:30,595
Yes,
I know I did.
17
00:00:30,631 --> 00:00:32,264
But General Peterson
wants me to bring
18
00:00:32,299 --> 00:00:34,566
some very important papers
to him at the country club.
19
00:00:34,601 --> 00:00:36,268
And he's
in a big hurry.
20
00:00:36,303 --> 00:00:37,302
A big hurry?
21
00:00:37,338 --> 00:00:38,337
A big hurry.
22
00:00:44,812 --> 00:00:46,311
Oh. Good morning.
23
00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:48,714
Good morning.
24
00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:52,016
Jeannie...
25
00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:53,352
Jeannie!
26
00:00:57,624 --> 00:01:00,592
[♪♪♪]
27
00:01:43,237 --> 00:01:46,338
[♪♪♪]
28
00:01:51,512 --> 00:01:53,045
Jeannie.
Jeannie!
29
00:01:54,381 --> 00:01:57,015
Ooh,
this is nice.
30
00:01:57,051 --> 00:01:59,784
It reminds me of
the Hanging Gardens of Babylon.
31
00:01:59,819 --> 00:02:01,420
Yes. Yeah, uh,
Jeannie, look,
32
00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:03,121
I-I could be
court-martialed for this.
33
00:02:03,157 --> 00:02:04,589
I don't mind being
out of uniform.
34
00:02:04,624 --> 00:02:06,425
Would you mind getting me
dressed, please?
35
00:02:09,329 --> 00:02:10,562
Oh, uh...
36
00:02:10,597 --> 00:02:12,431
Uh, my-- My briefcase,
please.
37
00:02:14,435 --> 00:02:15,667
What is this place?
38
00:02:15,702 --> 00:02:17,635
Oh, this is a--
A golf course.
39
00:02:17,671 --> 00:02:18,670
A country club.
40
00:02:18,705 --> 00:02:19,671
They play golf here.
41
00:02:19,706 --> 00:02:20,972
Ooh. Do you play
this golf?
42
00:02:21,007 --> 00:02:22,107
No, I don't.
43
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:23,808
Jeannie, I have
a very important report
44
00:02:23,843 --> 00:02:25,377
to get to
the general.
45
00:02:25,412 --> 00:02:27,479
Uh, why don't you look
around here or something.
46
00:02:27,514 --> 00:02:28,947
Oh, all right,
master.
47
00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:30,549
Maybe later on,
if he doesn't need me,
48
00:02:30,584 --> 00:02:31,716
I could take you
for a drive
49
00:02:31,751 --> 00:02:32,717
down to
the beach, huh?
50
00:02:32,752 --> 00:02:33,785
Ohh...
51
00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:34,953
Thank you, master.
52
00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:36,754
Okay. You just
take a look around.
53
00:02:36,790 --> 00:02:37,789
All right.
54
00:02:42,028 --> 00:02:43,528
Uh, general.
Dr. Bellows.
55
00:02:43,564 --> 00:02:44,629
Tony,
you must live
56
00:02:44,664 --> 00:02:45,997
right next to
the golf course.
57
00:02:46,032 --> 00:02:48,567
The route I took, sir,
there wasn't much traffic.
58
00:02:48,602 --> 00:02:51,670
Strange. When I drove out here,
it was bumper-to-bumper.
59
00:02:51,705 --> 00:02:52,871
Uh, I have
the reports, sir.
60
00:02:52,906 --> 00:02:54,873
The correlation tables
worked out more or less
61
00:02:54,908 --> 00:02:55,874
the way we expected.
62
00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:57,275
You'll be pleased.
Good.
63
00:02:57,310 --> 00:02:59,845
I wanna go over them before
the meeting Monday morning.
64
00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:01,112
Thanks for
bringing it over.
65
00:03:01,147 --> 00:03:02,113
Thank you, sir. Doctor.
66
00:03:02,148 --> 00:03:04,048
Goodbye, Major Nelson.
67
00:03:04,985 --> 00:03:07,586
Doctor,
we have a problem.
68
00:03:07,621 --> 00:03:08,787
I know, sir.
69
00:03:08,822 --> 00:03:10,622
I'm keeping
an eye on him.
70
00:03:10,657 --> 00:03:12,691
I'm talking about the fact
that Admiral Tugwell
71
00:03:12,726 --> 00:03:14,559
and his aide are flying
down here next week.
72
00:03:14,595 --> 00:03:16,595
Oh. They're coming down
to inspect the base?
73
00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:17,596
Oh, don't be
naive.
74
00:03:17,631 --> 00:03:19,130
They've seen
the base.
75
00:03:19,165 --> 00:03:21,399
The admiral is coming down
for some golf.
76
00:03:21,434 --> 00:03:22,667
We do this once a year.
77
00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:25,370
And he's beaten me
seven years in a row.
78
00:03:25,406 --> 00:03:26,505
This year
79
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:27,839
I intend to beat him.
80
00:03:27,874 --> 00:03:29,641
I wish you luck, general.
81
00:03:29,677 --> 00:03:31,743
Now, the admiral and
his aide shoot in the low 70s.
82
00:03:31,779 --> 00:03:33,211
So do I.
83
00:03:33,246 --> 00:03:36,181
But I can beat them if I can
find the right man to play with.
84
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:39,818
Well, now...how about Henderson
or Lukerthon?
85
00:03:39,853 --> 00:03:42,621
Well, they're good,
but not good enough.
86
00:03:42,656 --> 00:03:45,123
I need someone
who's almost a pro.
87
00:03:45,158 --> 00:03:46,391
And that's
where you come in.
88
00:03:46,427 --> 00:03:47,793
[LAUGHS]
89
00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:49,661
I don't play golf,
general.
90
00:03:49,697 --> 00:03:51,830
But you have the files
of every man on the base.
91
00:03:53,033 --> 00:03:56,434
I want you to find me
the best golfer we have.
92
00:03:56,469 --> 00:03:59,504
I'm not gonna let the Navy
beat the Air Force again.
93
00:03:59,540 --> 00:04:01,706
I understand, sir.
94
00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:02,941
I'll just make
a phone call.
95
00:04:02,976 --> 00:04:04,142
You do that.
96
00:04:04,177 --> 00:04:05,243
Excuse me,
general.
97
00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:15,486
[WHISTLES]
98
00:04:15,522 --> 00:04:17,522
That looks like fun.
99
00:04:17,558 --> 00:04:18,890
Well, hello, major.
100
00:04:18,926 --> 00:04:19,891
It is fun.
101
00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:21,292
I'm Jerry Barber.
102
00:04:21,327 --> 00:04:22,593
I'm the professional
here.
103
00:04:22,629 --> 00:04:23,861
How do you do?
Very nice to...
104
00:04:23,897 --> 00:04:25,129
Would you like to try one?
105
00:04:25,165 --> 00:04:26,998
Oh. Oh, I don't
play golf. Sorry.
106
00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:28,633
Oh, come on.
Go ahead.
107
00:04:28,669 --> 00:04:29,634
Really?
108
00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:30,669
Please do.
109
00:04:40,681 --> 00:04:42,080
Where did I go wrong?
110
00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:44,649
Major, put your feet
a little farther apart.
111
00:04:46,053 --> 00:04:48,687
Put your hands on the club
a little over here.
Okay.
112
00:04:48,722 --> 00:04:49,955
Bend over a little.
113
00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:51,122
Try it again.
114
00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:58,063
Well, I'm afraid I'm
not much of a golfer.
115
00:04:59,666 --> 00:05:01,232
Try it again,
major.
116
00:05:01,268 --> 00:05:02,901
Feet a little
farther apart.
117
00:05:02,936 --> 00:05:04,603
Bend over a little
at the waist.
Yeah.
118
00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:07,038
Hands a little firmer
on the club.
Right, right.
119
00:05:07,073 --> 00:05:08,440
It's a lot harder
than it looks.
120
00:05:10,043 --> 00:05:12,343
I'd like to be able to
knock this ball about,
121
00:05:12,379 --> 00:05:15,280
oh, 400 yards
down the fairway.
122
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:17,348
Well, major, I'm afraid
there's very few people
123
00:05:17,384 --> 00:05:18,483
that have ever
done that.
124
00:05:24,691 --> 00:05:26,091
And you're one of them.
125
00:05:27,060 --> 00:05:29,727
That was a 400-yard drive.
126
00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:33,664
I got his name,
general.
127
00:05:33,700 --> 00:05:34,966
It's
Edward Sheldon.
128
00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:36,067
He shoots
in the low 70s.
129
00:05:36,103 --> 00:05:37,235
Forget it.
130
00:05:37,270 --> 00:05:39,070
I got a man
who shoots in the 60s.
131
00:05:39,106 --> 00:05:40,638
In the 60s?
Who's that, sir?
132
00:05:40,673 --> 00:05:42,507
Major Nelson.
133
00:05:42,542 --> 00:05:44,075
Tony Nelson?
134
00:05:44,111 --> 00:05:46,611
Oh...general,
I happen to know
135
00:05:46,646 --> 00:05:48,012
he doesn't even
play golf.
136
00:05:48,047 --> 00:05:49,814
You really got it
in for him, haven't you?
137
00:05:49,849 --> 00:05:51,082
Not at all, sir.
138
00:05:51,118 --> 00:05:53,451
It's not my fault
he doesn't play golf.
139
00:05:53,487 --> 00:05:54,719
I saw him
at a driving range
140
00:05:54,754 --> 00:05:56,154
one day
with Major Healey.
141
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:57,489
Oh, he was
terrible.
142
00:05:57,524 --> 00:05:59,824
He's good enough
to beat Admiral Tugwell.
143
00:05:59,859 --> 00:06:01,292
I've been waiting
for this chance
144
00:06:01,328 --> 00:06:03,394
for seven years.
145
00:06:03,430 --> 00:06:06,397
General...if you want
to win that match,
146
00:06:06,433 --> 00:06:08,899
I assure you, you're
making a terrible mistake.
147
00:06:08,935 --> 00:06:10,502
I'm not only
gonna win it.
148
00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:12,870
I'm doubling
the stakes.
149
00:06:12,905 --> 00:06:15,340
A 400-yard drive.
150
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:16,974
Could you do that
again, major?
151
00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:19,310
Oh, no. Never
in a million years.
152
00:06:19,346 --> 00:06:21,012
It's just
a lucky fluke.
153
00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:22,813
How about
trying it?
154
00:06:22,849 --> 00:06:24,616
Well, all right.
If you really want me to.
155
00:06:30,757 --> 00:06:32,924
You did it again.
156
00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:34,459
That's the most
remarkable drive
157
00:06:34,494 --> 00:06:36,027
I've ever seen
in my life.
158
00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:38,363
That's easily
400 yards.
159
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:40,798
Well, I...guess I'm better
than I thought.
160
00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:42,567
Major, I guess
maybe you are too.
161
00:06:42,602 --> 00:06:43,768
Will you excuse me,
major?
162
00:06:43,803 --> 00:06:44,936
I've got a lesson.
163
00:06:44,972 --> 00:06:46,137
Oh. Oh.
I'll have to
be off.
164
00:06:46,173 --> 00:06:47,272
Very--
Good luck
to you.
165
00:06:47,307 --> 00:06:49,241
Thank you. And thank you
for the instruction.
166
00:06:49,276 --> 00:06:50,475
Thank you.
How about that.
167
00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:53,544
Well...
168
00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:55,613
[LAUGHS]
Hi, Jeannie.
169
00:06:55,648 --> 00:06:57,048
Jeannie, what?
170
00:06:57,084 --> 00:06:58,116
Did...?
171
00:06:59,253 --> 00:07:00,919
Oh, I see.
172
00:07:00,954 --> 00:07:03,021
Hey.
It's Dr. Bellows.
173
00:07:03,056 --> 00:07:04,622
Ahem.
174
00:07:09,629 --> 00:07:10,962
Major Nelson.
175
00:07:10,997 --> 00:07:11,963
Oh,
Dr. Bellows.
176
00:07:11,998 --> 00:07:13,898
Have you
taken up golf?
177
00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:15,900
No, I'm afraid I'll never
become a golfer, sir.
178
00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:17,168
Well, that's
what I thought.
179
00:07:17,204 --> 00:07:19,804
And yet I wouldn't
want to be wrong again.
180
00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:21,039
Wrong about what?
181
00:07:21,074 --> 00:07:22,107
Oh, nothing.
182
00:07:22,142 --> 00:07:24,308
Oh, would you mind
hitting a ball for me?
183
00:07:24,344 --> 00:07:25,476
And what for,
sir?
184
00:07:25,511 --> 00:07:27,812
Well, I-I'd just like to
see you hit the ball.
185
00:07:27,848 --> 00:07:30,215
Oh, sort of, test
my reflexes, sort of?
186
00:07:30,250 --> 00:07:31,515
Oh, something
like that.
187
00:07:31,551 --> 00:07:32,550
All right.
188
00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:37,388
You see, uh, the important thing
is to grip the club firmly,
189
00:07:37,423 --> 00:07:38,956
uh, bend over
slightly
190
00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:40,324
and keep your feet
wide apart.
191
00:07:48,268 --> 00:07:50,068
Uh-huh.
192
00:07:52,039 --> 00:07:53,471
I'm afraid that
wasn't very good.
193
00:07:53,506 --> 00:07:54,605
I'll give it
another try.
194
00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:56,007
Oh, no, no, no.
I've seen enough.
195
00:07:56,043 --> 00:07:57,909
General Peterson
would like you
196
00:07:57,945 --> 00:08:00,245
to stop by his office
this afternoon.
197
00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:01,246
I wonder why?
198
00:08:01,281 --> 00:08:02,847
So do I.
199
00:08:02,882 --> 00:08:04,916
So do I.
200
00:08:04,952 --> 00:08:05,951
[CHUCKLES]
201
00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:09,153
Be your golf partner
in a tournament?
202
00:08:09,188 --> 00:08:11,022
Well, I'm afraid
that's impossible, sir.
203
00:08:11,057 --> 00:08:12,590
Impossible?
204
00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:13,992
Why is it impossible?
205
00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:15,392
Well, uh,
for one thing--
206
00:08:15,428 --> 00:08:17,996
You're not turning
professional, are you?
207
00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:19,030
Professional,
sir?
208
00:08:19,065 --> 00:08:20,331
I couldn't even
make amateur.
209
00:08:20,366 --> 00:08:21,399
Ah!
210
00:08:21,434 --> 00:08:22,667
The admiral got to you.
211
00:08:22,702 --> 00:08:23,835
Oh. No, sir.
212
00:08:23,870 --> 00:08:25,336
I don't know
who's been telling you
213
00:08:25,371 --> 00:08:26,337
I'm a great golfer.
214
00:08:26,372 --> 00:08:27,438
But they're
kidding you.
215
00:08:27,473 --> 00:08:28,807
My average drive
is three feet.
216
00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:30,108
That is, if the wind's
with me.
217
00:08:30,143 --> 00:08:31,876
Tony, I don't want to
pry into your life.
218
00:08:31,912 --> 00:08:33,044
If you've given up golf,
219
00:08:33,079 --> 00:08:35,113
I'm sure you had
a good reason for it.
220
00:08:35,148 --> 00:08:36,180
Given it up, sir?
221
00:08:36,216 --> 00:08:37,381
Well, maybe
it's taken up
222
00:08:37,417 --> 00:08:38,382
too much
of your time,
223
00:08:38,418 --> 00:08:39,651
or you gave someone
a promise
224
00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:41,019
not to play anymore.
225
00:08:41,054 --> 00:08:43,021
No, no, sir,
I-I assure you--
226
00:08:43,056 --> 00:08:44,889
I don't care
what your reasons are.
227
00:08:46,292 --> 00:08:49,027
You're my partner
in that golf match Saturday.
228
00:08:50,430 --> 00:08:51,529
I want to win that
229
00:08:51,564 --> 00:08:53,632
more than I want to win
anything in my life.
230
00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:56,134
And you're asking me
to be your golf partner?
231
00:08:56,169 --> 00:08:58,202
I'm not asking you.
I'm telling you.
232
00:08:58,238 --> 00:08:59,303
Oh...
233
00:08:59,339 --> 00:09:02,674
someone's in for
a big surprise Saturday.
234
00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:03,775
[LAUGHS UNCOMFORTABLY]
235
00:09:05,112 --> 00:09:06,845
Whatever made you
do a thing like that?
236
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,479
You did.
Me?
237
00:09:08,515 --> 00:09:11,282
Well, you said you wanted
to hit the ball 400 yards.
238
00:09:11,317 --> 00:09:12,984
Yeah, well, why do
you listen to me?
239
00:09:13,019 --> 00:09:14,786
Because I want to
make you happy.
240
00:09:14,821 --> 00:09:16,020
You want to
make me happy?
241
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:18,122
At my own court-martial
you want to make me happy?
242
00:09:18,158 --> 00:09:20,124
Jeannie, if I don't play
that game on Saturday,
243
00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:21,592
General Peterson's
gonna think
244
00:09:21,627 --> 00:09:23,061
I'm the poorest sport
of the year.
245
00:09:23,096 --> 00:09:24,929
And if I do play,
he's gonna kill me.
246
00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:27,665
Do not worry,
master.
247
00:09:27,700 --> 00:09:30,034
I will see that
you play well.
248
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:31,635
Now, Jeannie,
that's just the point.
249
00:09:31,671 --> 00:09:33,872
I can't let you
do something like that.
250
00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:36,074
I-I don't know how it was
in Baghdad in the old days,
251
00:09:36,109 --> 00:09:38,743
but we have something here
called, uh, sportsmanship.
252
00:09:38,778 --> 00:09:41,012
You-- You simply
don't cheat at games.
253
00:09:41,047 --> 00:09:43,314
You finally got me
in a spot I can't get out of.
254
00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:45,350
Oh, I'm sorry,
master.
255
00:09:45,385 --> 00:09:47,284
ROGER:
Hello. Anybody home?
256
00:09:48,287 --> 00:09:50,755
[LAUGHS]
Oh.
Hi, Roge.
257
00:09:50,790 --> 00:09:51,756
Hi, Tony.
Hi, Jeannie.
258
00:09:51,791 --> 00:09:52,757
Hey, listen.
259
00:09:52,792 --> 00:09:53,858
Do you two
wanna laugh?
260
00:09:53,893 --> 00:09:55,359
Because you won't
believe this.
261
00:09:55,394 --> 00:09:57,995
There's a rumor going around
the base that General Peterson
262
00:09:58,031 --> 00:10:01,933
picked you for his partner
for the big golf match Saturday.
263
00:10:01,968 --> 00:10:03,267
Ha. Is that wild?
264
00:10:03,302 --> 00:10:04,535
Oh, yeah.
265
00:10:04,570 --> 00:10:06,938
It's also
true.
Ah.
266
00:10:06,973 --> 00:10:08,206
You're not serious,
are you?
267
00:10:08,241 --> 00:10:10,274
No, I'm not serious,
but General Peterson is.
268
00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:11,475
But you don't play golf.
269
00:10:11,511 --> 00:10:12,977
I know I don't.
That's what I tried
270
00:10:13,013 --> 00:10:15,146
to tell General Peterson,
but he wouldn't listen.
271
00:10:15,182 --> 00:10:16,514
It is my fault.
272
00:10:17,551 --> 00:10:18,783
I:
273
00:10:18,819 --> 00:10:20,185
And he:
274
00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:21,219
[CLICKING NOISE]
275
00:10:23,090 --> 00:10:25,356
Well...I guess
I'll be running along.
276
00:10:25,391 --> 00:10:27,258
Now, wait a minute.
I'm in trouble, Roger.
277
00:10:27,294 --> 00:10:28,859
I know. That's why
I'm running along.
278
00:10:28,895 --> 00:10:30,761
I don't wanna tangle
with General Peterson.
279
00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:33,031
He thinks of golf the way
most people think of mother.
280
00:10:33,066 --> 00:10:34,532
Roger, somebody needs to
help me
281
00:10:34,567 --> 00:10:35,900
think of a way out of this.
282
00:10:35,936 --> 00:10:40,004
Well, you could have Jeannie
break General Peterson's arm.
283
00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:41,239
That's it.
284
00:10:41,274 --> 00:10:43,675
You want me to break
General Peterson's arm?
285
00:10:43,710 --> 00:10:45,009
No. No. My arm.
286
00:10:45,045 --> 00:10:47,078
You want me
to break your arm?
287
00:10:47,113 --> 00:10:49,713
No, Jeannie. I don't want you
to break anybody's arm.
288
00:10:49,749 --> 00:10:51,816
But what's to stop me
from putting a sling on my arm
289
00:10:51,851 --> 00:10:53,684
and telling General Peterson
that I hurt it?
290
00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:54,985
Oh!
ROGER:
Brilliant.
291
00:10:55,021 --> 00:10:56,954
You can't play golf
with your arm in a sling.
292
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:00,925
Thanks, Jeannie.
293
00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:02,627
Well, I better go tell
General Peterson
294
00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:03,828
that he's just
gonna have to
295
00:11:03,863 --> 00:11:05,496
pick another partner
for Saturday.
296
00:11:05,532 --> 00:11:06,497
Well, good luck.
297
00:11:06,533 --> 00:11:07,532
Oh, yeah.
298
00:11:10,770 --> 00:11:12,303
Are you telling me
that Major Nelson
299
00:11:12,338 --> 00:11:13,838
has broken his arm?
300
00:11:13,873 --> 00:11:16,473
No, sir. His arm
is perfectly fine.
301
00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:17,708
Well, he has it
in a sling.
302
00:11:17,743 --> 00:11:19,143
That's right. Hm.
303
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:20,945
I was wondering
how Major Nelson was gonna
304
00:11:20,980 --> 00:11:23,281
get out of playing
in that golf match.
305
00:11:23,316 --> 00:11:24,381
Now we know.
306
00:11:28,288 --> 00:11:31,122
Major Nelson is in
Dr. Bellow's office.
307
00:11:31,157 --> 00:11:32,190
I want him.
308
00:11:32,225 --> 00:11:33,858
MAN [OVER INTERCOM]:
Yes, sir.
309
00:11:35,494 --> 00:11:37,028
Oh, major?
Yes?
310
00:11:37,063 --> 00:11:39,297
General Peterson would like to
see you in his office.
311
00:11:39,332 --> 00:11:40,464
Oh. Thank you
very much.
312
00:11:40,499 --> 00:11:41,598
Yes, sir.
313
00:11:41,634 --> 00:11:43,034
Yep.
314
00:11:43,069 --> 00:11:44,101
Oh, there you are.
315
00:11:44,137 --> 00:11:45,669
Listen, have you seen
Peterson yet?
316
00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:46,938
No.
317
00:11:46,973 --> 00:11:48,739
I just got the flash.
They're ready to pick
318
00:11:48,774 --> 00:11:50,607
the astronauts
for the Apollo test flight.
319
00:11:50,643 --> 00:11:52,009
What?
320
00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:54,545
Yeah, and I think they'd like
someone with two arms.
321
00:11:54,580 --> 00:11:57,581
You'll be able to spot
all the classic symptoms
322
00:11:57,616 --> 00:11:59,917
of the faker
immediately, general.
323
00:11:59,953 --> 00:12:02,386
When he comes in that door,
notice his expression.
324
00:12:02,421 --> 00:12:04,322
It'll be listless.
325
00:12:04,357 --> 00:12:06,157
And the way he moves,
326
00:12:06,192 --> 00:12:09,226
as though he's racked
with pain.
327
00:12:09,262 --> 00:12:12,130
General Peterson.
You want to see me, sir?
328
00:12:20,974 --> 00:12:22,640
Aw, you should have seen
the expression
329
00:12:22,676 --> 00:12:24,108
on Dr. Bellows' face.
330
00:12:24,144 --> 00:12:26,043
How did you explain
the sling, master?
331
00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:27,811
Well, luckily, I didn't
tell Dr. Bellows
332
00:12:27,847 --> 00:12:29,113
I had had an accident.
333
00:12:29,148 --> 00:12:31,048
He told me
I'd had an accident.
334
00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:34,485
I am pleased that everything
turned out so well, master.
335
00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:36,888
Oh, yeah,
everything's just great...
336
00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:38,389
except for one tiny detail.
337
00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:39,390
What is that?
338
00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:40,491
Oh, I'm in the same trouble
339
00:12:40,527 --> 00:12:42,627
I was when I walked out
this morning.
340
00:12:43,530 --> 00:12:44,995
General Peterson
still expects me
341
00:12:45,031 --> 00:12:46,431
to play in that game
on Saturday.
342
00:12:46,966 --> 00:12:47,965
[DOORBELL RINGS]
343
00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:55,673
Hi, Tony. Hi, Jeannie.
Ha-ha.
344
00:12:55,708 --> 00:12:56,674
Well, Merry Christmas
345
00:12:56,709 --> 00:12:58,476
from your friendly
golf instructor.
346
00:12:58,511 --> 00:12:59,777
Roger,
wha-what's all this?
347
00:12:59,812 --> 00:13:01,345
This is a solution
to your problems.
348
00:13:01,381 --> 00:13:04,014
I'm going to teach you
how to...play golf.
349
00:13:04,050 --> 00:13:06,317
You see, master,
your problem is solved.
350
00:13:06,352 --> 00:13:07,885
You really think
you can do it, Roge?
351
00:13:07,921 --> 00:13:09,987
Well, at least when you
get out there Saturday...
352
00:13:10,023 --> 00:13:13,191
you won't make a complete
fool out of yourself.
353
00:13:13,226 --> 00:13:14,992
Well, Roger, I certainly
appreciate this.
354
00:13:15,028 --> 00:13:17,161
Well, let's see
how you can putt, huh?
355
00:13:17,197 --> 00:13:18,929
Yeah.
356
00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:20,231
Just follow
my instructions,
357
00:13:20,267 --> 00:13:22,599
and you won't
have any problems.
All right.
358
00:13:23,869 --> 00:13:25,769
Just hold a club like this,
nice and relaxed.
359
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:27,472
All right.
All right.
Okay?
360
00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:28,906
Now, bend over.
Bend over.
361
00:13:28,941 --> 00:13:30,908
Head over the ball.
Head over the ball.
362
00:13:30,943 --> 00:13:31,976
Feet apart.
Feet apart.
363
00:13:32,011 --> 00:13:33,544
Knees together.
Knees together.
364
00:13:33,580 --> 00:13:34,878
Now, just...
365
00:13:34,914 --> 00:13:36,847
relax the wrist.
Relax the wrist.
366
00:13:36,882 --> 00:13:39,584
Right there. Now, just
a short backswing.
367
00:13:39,619 --> 00:13:40,684
Short backswing.
368
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:41,685
Follow through
369
00:13:41,721 --> 00:13:42,853
and hit the ball.
Right.
370
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:48,025
Would you like me to move
the cup to the ball?
371
00:13:48,060 --> 00:13:49,827
Jeannie.
372
00:13:49,862 --> 00:13:51,629
Well...you only
missed it by a room.
373
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:53,531
Naturally, it's gonna
take me a little time
374
00:13:53,566 --> 00:13:54,532
to get the hang
of it.
375
00:13:54,567 --> 00:13:55,866
Yeah, naturally,
naturally.
376
00:13:55,901 --> 00:13:57,502
How long do you think
it's gonna take
377
00:13:57,537 --> 00:13:58,869
before I'm ready
for the match?
378
00:13:58,904 --> 00:14:00,271
If you practice hard
every day?
379
00:14:00,306 --> 00:14:01,772
Yeah, if I practice
hard every day.
380
00:14:01,807 --> 00:14:03,674
About 1985.
381
00:14:07,947 --> 00:14:09,813
Golf clubs,
golf shoes.
382
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:11,115
Got my golf tees.
383
00:14:11,151 --> 00:14:12,350
Golf balls.
Golf balls!
384
00:14:12,385 --> 00:14:13,451
Here they are,
master.
385
00:14:13,486 --> 00:14:15,753
Oh. Thank you,
Jeannie.
386
00:14:15,788 --> 00:14:17,121
What are you
all dressed up for?
387
00:14:17,157 --> 00:14:19,390
I'm going to
the tournament with you.
388
00:14:19,425 --> 00:14:20,558
Oh. Oh.
389
00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:22,627
Fine. Fine.
390
00:14:22,662 --> 00:14:23,861
You do not mind?
391
00:14:23,896 --> 00:14:25,463
No,
of course not.
392
00:14:25,498 --> 00:14:26,497
Uh, why should I mind?
393
00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:27,498
You could
always, uh--
394
00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:28,832
You could always
caddy for me.
395
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:32,236
Oh, I would be happy to.
Whatever that is.
396
00:14:32,272 --> 00:14:34,104
Oh, well, it's
very simple.
397
00:14:34,140 --> 00:14:36,240
Uh, you take a tee
like this you see, and you--
398
00:14:36,276 --> 00:14:38,242
Oh, would you mind getting
that for me, please?
399
00:14:38,278 --> 00:14:39,477
Oh, certainly,
master.
400
00:14:44,617 --> 00:14:46,217
I'm sorry about this,
Jeannie,
401
00:14:46,252 --> 00:14:48,819
but you're gonna have to stay
in there until the game's over.
402
00:14:48,855 --> 00:14:50,587
But you need me,
master.
403
00:14:50,623 --> 00:14:52,256
Yeah. Yeah, I know I do.
404
00:14:52,291 --> 00:14:53,891
But the force of genies
405
00:14:53,926 --> 00:14:54,925
aren't allowed.
406
00:14:58,364 --> 00:14:59,630
Oh.
407
00:15:04,504 --> 00:15:06,270
Hey, I think your partner's
got cold feet
408
00:15:06,305 --> 00:15:07,538
and isn't gonna
show up.
409
00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:09,173
Oh, he'll be along.
410
00:15:09,208 --> 00:15:11,008
He doesn't know
what sharks you two are.
411
00:15:11,044 --> 00:15:14,178
Well, we'll try and give him
a good game, general.
412
00:15:14,214 --> 00:15:15,179
Sorry I'm late,
sir.
413
00:15:15,215 --> 00:15:16,280
Oh, this is
Major Nelson.
414
00:15:16,316 --> 00:15:17,515
Admiral
Tugwell.
415
00:15:17,550 --> 00:15:19,317
Nice knowing you,
major.
Pleasure, sir.
416
00:15:19,352 --> 00:15:20,718
Commander
Davis.
How do you do?
417
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:22,520
What do you--
What's your game?
418
00:15:22,555 --> 00:15:23,654
What do you shoot?
419
00:15:23,689 --> 00:15:25,123
Well,
quail mostly.
420
00:15:25,158 --> 00:15:27,625
PETERSON:
He's too smart
to give anything away.
421
00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:30,027
You'll see when you
put your money up.
422
00:15:30,063 --> 00:15:32,396
Pete, would you like to
double last year's stakes?
423
00:15:33,366 --> 00:15:34,598
Well,
I don't know.
424
00:15:34,633 --> 00:15:36,633
You know, Major Nelson's
not much of a player.
425
00:15:36,669 --> 00:15:37,734
He's, uh...
426
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:38,735
Well,
he's kind of
427
00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:41,238
a last-minute
replacement,
428
00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:42,673
but, uh,
still...
429
00:15:42,708 --> 00:15:45,042
I'll double
the stakes.
430
00:15:45,078 --> 00:15:46,043
Done.
431
00:15:46,079 --> 00:15:47,211
Done?
432
00:15:47,247 --> 00:15:49,880
Sir, could I speak to you
a moment privately?
433
00:15:49,916 --> 00:15:52,850
Major, no secret strategy
meetings, please.
434
00:15:52,885 --> 00:15:54,618
I'll talk
to you later.
435
00:15:54,653 --> 00:15:55,720
Yeah, I'm sure
you will.
436
00:15:55,755 --> 00:15:57,487
Well, come on.
Let's get some practice.
437
00:16:13,873 --> 00:16:14,839
Hey,
nice drive.
438
00:16:14,874 --> 00:16:15,873
Good one,
commander.
439
00:16:15,908 --> 00:16:16,907
Very good,
sir.
440
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:20,077
You think you can
follow that, general?
441
00:16:20,113 --> 00:16:21,112
Yeah.
442
00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:27,652
Good luck,
sir.
443
00:16:29,121 --> 00:16:30,555
Oh, thank you,
major.
444
00:16:34,293 --> 00:16:35,259
Very good,
sir.
445
00:16:35,295 --> 00:16:36,760
Very good.
446
00:16:36,796 --> 00:16:38,796
[CHUCKLES]
447
00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:40,798
You didn't come out here
for nothing, did you?
448
00:16:43,303 --> 00:16:45,236
Well, anchors
aweigh.
449
00:16:52,112 --> 00:16:54,444
Nice shot, Roy.
Oh, yeah. Very nice.
450
00:16:56,783 --> 00:16:58,349
Oh, me.
TUGWELL:
All right, major.
451
00:17:11,764 --> 00:17:12,796
Oh.
452
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:20,137
Ahem.
453
00:17:25,678 --> 00:17:26,978
Tricky
little devil.
Oh, yes.
454
00:17:28,314 --> 00:17:30,414
You're not going to use
an iron, are you, major?
455
00:17:30,450 --> 00:17:31,415
What, sir?
456
00:17:31,451 --> 00:17:33,016
Here,
use my driver.
457
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:34,518
Oh. Thank you.
458
00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:42,627
I can't even see it.
459
00:17:42,662 --> 00:17:44,695
The ball is still
on the tee.
460
00:17:48,467 --> 00:17:49,466
Ahem.
461
00:17:50,770 --> 00:17:52,670
Sir, I'd l-- I'd like
to explain. Um...
462
00:17:52,705 --> 00:17:53,838
You don't have to
explain.
463
00:17:53,873 --> 00:17:55,439
That was brilliant.
464
00:17:55,474 --> 00:17:56,440
Brilliant?
465
00:17:56,475 --> 00:17:57,675
Why didn't I
think of that?
466
00:17:57,710 --> 00:17:59,844
You just keep on pretending
that you're a dub.
467
00:17:59,879 --> 00:18:02,079
Then at the last minute
you'll come through,
468
00:18:02,114 --> 00:18:03,848
and we'll
wallop them.
469
00:18:05,317 --> 00:18:06,350
[LAUGHS]
Yes.
470
00:18:29,208 --> 00:18:30,173
Don't overdo it.
471
00:18:30,209 --> 00:18:32,009
These guys
are pretty smart.
472
00:18:32,044 --> 00:18:34,177
They know that no one
could be that bad.
473
00:18:38,751 --> 00:18:40,017
We'll concede that,
major.
474
00:18:40,053 --> 00:18:42,653
We do want to finish
the 18 holes before dark.
475
00:18:44,390 --> 00:18:45,656
That's all right,
major.
476
00:18:45,691 --> 00:18:47,758
You're only
16 strokes behind.
477
00:18:50,229 --> 00:18:51,828
Ahem.
478
00:18:51,864 --> 00:18:54,365
Don't you think you
ought to start now, Tony?
479
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:55,399
I have started,
sir.
480
00:18:55,434 --> 00:18:57,167
What you're seeing
is my game.
481
00:18:57,202 --> 00:18:58,168
All right.
482
00:18:58,203 --> 00:18:59,936
But don't keep it up
too long.
483
00:19:05,844 --> 00:19:07,010
Ahem.
484
00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:12,316
Roger, what are you
doing here?
485
00:19:12,351 --> 00:19:15,452
Well, I thought I'd stop by
and see how my pupil's doing.
486
00:19:15,488 --> 00:19:16,487
My score is 29.
487
00:19:16,522 --> 00:19:18,822
Oh, you're kidding.
On the third hole.
488
00:19:20,726 --> 00:19:22,393
Are you keeping your eye
on the ball?
489
00:19:22,428 --> 00:19:24,595
I'm keeping my eye on a jet
that'll take me to Brazil.
490
00:19:24,630 --> 00:19:27,230
Roger, I'm
getting slaughtered.
491
00:19:27,266 --> 00:19:28,766
I don't mind
so much for myself.
492
00:19:28,801 --> 00:19:30,967
But if we lose, it's
gonna kill General Peterson.
493
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:32,670
Yeah, and if it kills
General Peterson,
494
00:19:32,705 --> 00:19:33,804
it's going to
kill you.
495
00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:35,238
Why isn't Jeannie
helping?
496
00:19:35,274 --> 00:19:36,573
Well, uh...
497
00:19:36,609 --> 00:19:37,874
you know how she is.
498
00:19:37,910 --> 00:19:39,677
Yeah, she's great.
She's here, isn't she?
499
00:19:39,712 --> 00:19:41,345
Roge, I don't want to
hold up the game.
500
00:19:41,380 --> 00:19:42,413
Wait a minute.
501
00:19:42,448 --> 00:19:44,114
Why don't you
have her help you?
502
00:19:44,149 --> 00:19:45,816
Because I don't think
General Peterson
503
00:19:45,851 --> 00:19:47,150
would want to
win that way.
504
00:19:50,456 --> 00:19:51,989
Jeannie!
505
00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:53,291
Jeannie!
506
00:19:57,863 --> 00:19:59,363
Oh, thank you,
Major Healey.
507
00:19:59,399 --> 00:20:01,064
Oh, Jeannie, your master's
in trouble.
508
00:20:01,100 --> 00:20:02,166
You gotta--
509
00:20:04,737 --> 00:20:05,969
Boy...that's
one golf match
510
00:20:06,005 --> 00:20:08,606
I would have loved
to have seen.
511
00:20:16,282 --> 00:20:19,116
Would you like to pick it up
and take the penalty?
512
00:20:19,152 --> 00:20:20,818
No, no, no.
It's fine.
513
00:20:37,002 --> 00:20:38,535
General, nothing short
of a miracle
514
00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:40,070
is gonna make you
win this match.
515
00:20:40,105 --> 00:20:41,472
You never know
when a miracle
516
00:20:41,507 --> 00:20:43,106
is gonna happen,
do you?
517
00:20:56,388 --> 00:20:58,288
Any time,
major.
518
00:20:58,323 --> 00:20:59,322
Yes, sir.
Sorry, sir.
519
00:21:11,470 --> 00:21:13,203
I didn't even see you
hit the ball, major,
520
00:21:13,238 --> 00:21:14,638
but it was
a beautiful drive.
521
00:21:15,841 --> 00:21:17,674
I'm afraid that's
your ball, major.
522
00:21:17,710 --> 00:21:19,109
Tough
luck.
523
00:21:19,144 --> 00:21:21,745
Snead used a slice
on a lie like this.
524
00:21:22,815 --> 00:21:24,915
Slice.
Yes, a slice.
525
00:21:30,723 --> 00:21:33,023
You're, uh, going
to use a putter?
526
00:21:33,058 --> 00:21:34,257
Yes, I, uh,
527
00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:36,293
always use a putter
on a lie like this.
528
00:21:36,328 --> 00:21:37,895
Pardon me,
gentlemen.
529
00:21:37,930 --> 00:21:39,162
[CLEARS THROAT]
530
00:21:51,376 --> 00:21:52,542
Fantastic.
531
00:21:52,578 --> 00:21:53,978
[CLEARS THROAT]
532
00:21:54,013 --> 00:21:55,112
Yes, um...
533
00:21:55,147 --> 00:21:56,614
Yes, you might
say that, sir.
534
00:22:19,906 --> 00:22:23,174
[♪♪♪]
535
00:22:42,728 --> 00:22:44,561
PETERSON:
Wow! What do you
think of that?
536
00:22:44,596 --> 00:22:46,063
TUGWELL:
Another 40-footer.
537
00:22:46,098 --> 00:22:48,265
[CHUCKLES]
538
00:22:48,300 --> 00:22:50,567
I've been playing golf
for nearly 30 years,
539
00:22:50,602 --> 00:22:52,269
and I've never
seen anything like it.
540
00:22:52,304 --> 00:22:54,271
You know what your score
is like, major?
541
00:22:54,306 --> 00:22:55,572
No, sir.
542
00:22:55,607 --> 00:22:58,909
Well, you've got four eagles,
four double eagles,
543
00:22:58,944 --> 00:23:01,578
seven holes in one.
544
00:23:01,613 --> 00:23:04,581
Your total score is 54.
545
00:23:04,616 --> 00:23:06,050
That's good, huh?
546
00:23:06,085 --> 00:23:09,352
Well, Sam Snead won
a tournament with a 59.
547
00:23:09,388 --> 00:23:10,988
You were five
under him.
548
00:23:12,191 --> 00:23:13,924
Major, it certainly
has been a privilege
549
00:23:13,959 --> 00:23:16,160
to play golf with you.
Yes, sir.
550
00:23:16,195 --> 00:23:18,261
I'll mail you
a check, Pete.
Ha.
551
00:23:18,297 --> 00:23:19,429
Uh, no.
No, sir.
552
00:23:19,464 --> 00:23:20,798
I couldn't
allow you to do that.
553
00:23:20,833 --> 00:23:21,799
Why,
he's right.
554
00:23:21,834 --> 00:23:23,433
The kind of golf
we were privileged
555
00:23:23,468 --> 00:23:24,835
to be a part of today
556
00:23:24,870 --> 00:23:27,003
shouldn't be tainted
with commercialism.
557
00:23:27,039 --> 00:23:29,339
Well, thank you,
general.
558
00:23:29,375 --> 00:23:31,675
You broke every record
in the book.
559
00:23:34,647 --> 00:23:36,180
Yes, sir, I--
I know.
560
00:23:36,215 --> 00:23:38,315
And a few that
weren't in the book.
561
00:23:38,350 --> 00:23:39,849
Now,
shall we go?
562
00:23:42,555 --> 00:23:43,787
[CHUCKLING]
563
00:23:49,528 --> 00:23:50,761
They said
it was the greatest
564
00:23:50,796 --> 00:23:52,028
golf game they've
ever seen.
565
00:23:52,064 --> 00:23:53,296
Fifty-four.
I should say so.
566
00:23:53,332 --> 00:23:54,665
I knew I was
a good golf teacher,
567
00:23:54,700 --> 00:23:55,733
but that's
ridiculous.
568
00:23:55,768 --> 00:23:56,734
If you like, master,
569
00:23:56,769 --> 00:23:57,934
I can cut
that score in half.
570
00:23:57,970 --> 00:23:59,002
No, thanks,
Jeannie.
571
00:23:59,037 --> 00:24:00,303
Frankly, I don't
care if I ever
572
00:24:00,339 --> 00:24:01,772
see another
golf club again.
573
00:24:01,807 --> 00:24:02,840
Thanks.
574
00:24:02,875 --> 00:24:05,476
Hi.
Dr. Bellows.
Goodbye.
575
00:24:05,511 --> 00:24:07,244
Oh,
Major Healey.
576
00:24:07,279 --> 00:24:08,579
Major Nelson.
577
00:24:08,614 --> 00:24:10,514
I just dropped by
to congratulate you
578
00:24:10,549 --> 00:24:11,515
on your victory.
579
00:24:11,550 --> 00:24:12,850
Oh, thank you,
sir.
580
00:24:12,885 --> 00:24:15,819
I'm sorry I wasn't
able to, uh, watch the game.
581
00:24:15,855 --> 00:24:16,987
Yeah. So--
So was I.
582
00:24:17,022 --> 00:24:18,856
But however, I'll watch
the next one.
583
00:24:18,891 --> 00:24:20,223
Next one?
584
00:24:20,259 --> 00:24:21,324
I don't think
that Tony's
585
00:24:21,360 --> 00:24:22,426
going to be
playing golf
586
00:24:22,461 --> 00:24:23,527
anymore, sir.
587
00:24:23,562 --> 00:24:24,862
Oh, yes, he is.
588
00:24:24,897 --> 00:24:26,530
General Peterson
has just entered you
589
00:24:26,565 --> 00:24:28,699
in the National Open.
590
00:24:28,734 --> 00:24:31,134
And I'll be there
to watch your every move.
591
00:24:31,169 --> 00:24:33,404
Well, gentlemen,
if you'll just excuse me.
592
00:24:34,473 --> 00:24:35,506
Yeah, uh...
593
00:24:36,742 --> 00:24:38,509
[GOLF BALLS
BOUNCING]
594
00:24:44,049 --> 00:24:45,315
Oh.
595
00:24:48,754 --> 00:24:52,489
[♪♪♪]
49881
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