All language subtitles for Gentleman.Jack.Changed.My.Life.2022.1080p.WEBRip.x264-CBFM

I love you, Anne.

I'm in love with you.
MOUTHS: I always have been.

I'm not as strong as you think.
MOUTHS: Well, I am.

Well, I am, obviously, but...

This programme contains
some strong language.

It's just beautiful to see that,
you know,

to see real love. There's
a different kind of connection

and I don't... I can't describe it,
but it's just like,

"Ah, yeah. That is what I am."

The drama series Gentleman Jack
is based on the real life

of Anne Lister, a 19th century
Yorkshire landowner.

I love and only love
the fairer sex.

Her private life was discovered in
secret diaries revealing her loves,

lusts and heartbreaks.

APPLAUSE

Anne Lister has just
been immortalised.

How are you feeling about that?

Anne Lister is an inspiration
to be visible,

to be who you are.

She was very modern, really.

The show, partly inspired
by Jill Liddington's book,

Female Fortune, has introduced
Anne's story to a global audience.

I've come all the way
from North America.

This is actually
my seventh trip to Halifax.

Here we go, rehearsal and action.
Ah, here we are.

I think people didn't know they were
looking for a protagonist like that,

a hero like that. And I think that
that's why it's resonated

with so many people, because there's
no-one like her on our screens.

When you write a show,
you hope that you'll get

good viewing figures,
you hope people like it,

but the response globally that we've
had, this huge emotional response,

you don't expect that
when you write telly,

you just think you're going
to entertain people, so it's...

..it's very good, and it's
all because of Anne Lister.

Across the world,

thousands of women have come
together in fan groups

and forums to share their stories.

JUMBLED VOICES

..and in some cases,
discover their true sexuality.

The Gentleman Jack community
is like a family.

Got my little tattoo
with the top hat.

I felt loved and valid.

I realised that I was a lesbian.

With women of all ages
being emboldened

by the portrayal of Anne Lister,

this phenomenon has become known
as "The Gentleman Jack Effect".

So I've wanted to tell you
for ages and ages...

As I left she hung upon me and cried
and sobbed aloud at parting,

saying, "I hope we shall meet
under happier circumstances."

"Well," said I to myself
as I walked off,

"a pretty scene we have had."

In the 1800s, the expectation
was for women to marry

a man and have children.

There was simply no concept of women
having their own sexuality.

So Anne Lister spent her life

writing about her forbidden loves
in her secret journals.

It was therapeutic for her
to put down her heartbreaks

and love affairs. I mean,
when she can write something like,

"I am neither man nor woman
in society, how shall I manage?"

You know, that is an existential
dilemma for her

in that day and age.

In the 1930s,

when Anne's ancestral home
became a museum,

her hidden journals were found
and donated to the local library.

Over the next 50 years,
historians studied them,

but Anne's sexual exploits
remained secret.

Until local historian
Helena Whitbread revealed all.

I wanted to try my hand
at freelance writing.

I looked round for something
local and I don't know why,

but I just thought, "What about
this woman called Anne Lister?"

I got on the bus and I went down
to the local archives.

And there was this young man
there and I said to him,

"I believe Anne Lister has some
letters in the archives here."

And then he said to me these few
words that set me off,

he said,
"Did you know she kept a journal?"

And I said, "These journals
are written in code."

And I thought, "What would a woman
living 200 years ago

"need to write in a secret code?"

And that triggered off
intellectual curiosity, basically.

I thought, "She's got something
to hide."

It was a little while
before I twigged on.

I remember seeing
a little phrase and it said,

"I think I will have to go to Russia
and find myself a wife."

And I thought,
"So this is what she's hiding."

Out of the shadows of history,
you might say,

came these wonderfully depicted
people in her life,

women that she was in love with.

And slowly, as I worked through, all
these wonderful characters emerged.

So thunder...
thunder storm last...

Oh, that's an N,
so that's going to be night.

So here, she's switching into code,
which is where things get fun.

Volunteer code-breakers all over
the world are helping

the West Yorkshire Archive to
continue to unlock Anne's secrets.

Oh, "Very good kiss."

So I got some of the... "Lairy
good iss," some of the sounds,

but missed a couple of the letters.

Isabel is one of the code-breakers

and a long time fan
of Anne Lister's.

It was about five years ago
that I picked up the diaries

and I thought they were
so fascinating.

Jane Austen, I specialised in
at university,

and it's incredible to imagine that
Anne Lister was walking around

at the same time.
She seems in some ways very modern.

I've just finished
this whole bit here.

"There's a big thunderstorm."
And then she switches into the code.

And she says,
"In the midst of all this,

"we drew close together, made love
and had one of the most

"delightfully long tender kisses
we've ever had."

I just love the switch.
All of the sort of quite boring,

"Oh, yeah, there's a thunderstorm."
And then a quick quickie,

and then straight back out!
It's fascinating, really.

So in May 2019, the BBC launched
a series called Gentleman Jack.

And this is where my troubles began.

I saw my life growing up
came vividly back and it hit me,

"I'm not straight."

I cried, I wept, shook,
and at the point even laughed

at the absurdity of it all,
as despite my tender 63 years

of age, I have no idea how
to navigate my way through this.

I wanted to get married,
I wanted to have kids.

I was happy because I was on
the road that everybody's on,

so I'm normal. I'm OK.

I always wanted
a white suit like Suzi Quatro.

But then,

I want to live the dream
that everybody dreams about.

So I went for a proper
wedding dress.

Here starts
the single parent journey,

new chapter, different hairdo,
no fuss.

Just get on with life
and managing these two kids.

Hiding, operating out of this
false kind of person,

and you can lose track of
the real self, who you are.

To know that, because you're trying
so busy to be like everybody else.

And maybe that was
the relief when I discovered this,

because it was just like,
"Ah, that's why.

"That's why," you know,
"you couldn't feel
what other people felt.

"That makes sense."
And it was like a relief.

And for that second,
it was like,

"Oh, my gosh, that's brilliant.
Now I know. And that makes sense.

"Now my life, now, yeah,
that fits with me."

But then you have to navigate
the rest of your life.

They say, "Well, you know,
if you don't want to come out,

"you don't have to."
Do I really need to tell?

But I don't want to keep secrets
from my kids.

It's just not me.

I'm a 33-year-old lesbian,

I'm mixed race Arabic and English
and live with my mother.

I work as a lawyer,

but I'm also a carer for her
in the hours I have spare.

We watched Gentleman Jack together,
and I absolutely loved it.

I found strength within myself
through watching how Anne struggled

and held her own. However, my mum
didn't like her dress or manner.

She was in denial
for a long time about my sexuality,

and still might be inside.

Finding the love of my life
is an ongoing and slow process.

Anne's given me the drive
to keep looking.

I hope that you enjoyed my story.

Sami is one of the many thousands
of women worldwide

who've embraced fan groups
celebrating Anne Lister.

She manages full-time work
as a lawyer

with caring for her mum, Hazel.

When I fall, she's there,
she picks me up.

She takes me everywhere
I want to go.

She became a barrister,

and now she's studying to be
a solicitor.

DOG BARKS

I think that's his call
to have his breakfast.

I'm daughter and carer,

and my job is quite demanding,
because I'm juggling quite

a lot of things at the same time.

I've found it's been quite stressful
recently, cos her health

is not getting better.

That was my call to the bar.
Less than 50% of people

that join actually make it through
and pass.

So I am in an elite bunch there.

This is the thing with me
and my mum,

she thinks I should be married
to a Mark Darcy,

living the Bridget Jones lifestyle
and living in a mansion.

But it's not quite worked out
like that, for many reasons!

Sami came out to her mum
ten years ago, when she was 23.

At first, I thought she was joking
with me, as she does.

Always joking. And she said,
"No, Mum, it's the truth."

I was stunned more than anything,

and I didn't know how to talk
to her about it.

I think that might've been one time
I've not been there for her,

because I just didn't know
really what to say.

And it was never mentioned again.

Initially, she cried.
And then this sort of anger,

rage, and then the hatred came out.

It was the hurtful comments,
like, "You weren't born like this."

It has scarred me, as it was like
a different person.

I do feel I've had to, like,
go back in the closet.

I've brought people round
I've been seeing,

but just introduced them as friends,

just to try and keep her at bay.

Seeing how Anne Lister
faced her society back in, like,

the 1830s and how different she was,
was just energising for me.

She didn't let it stop her
from being herself,

and I think that, to me,
is very touching,

and that's the inspiring part.

So, different set of circumstances,
I don't have my own estate!

But, you know, still face challenges
that are quite difficult, really.

Anne Lister singlehandedly ran
her family estate near Halifax.

She was also an intrepid traveller.

In 1840, during a trip to Russia,

Anne died from a fever, aged 49.

She's buried here,
in Halifax Minster.

The exact location
of her grave is now unknown,

as her tombstone went missing
some years after her death.

She was an amazing woman.

She is a person who people
in my community

see as a real hero.
She's someone we can look up to.

She was filled with courage,
she was filled with determination

she wanted to live her own life in
the way that she firmly believed

that God had created her to live.

To find a place where she was
interred here in the Minster

is something that feels spiritually
important to me

and to thousands of women.

And even more so to have
a place that we can come to

and know that she's here.

In March 2000,
during renovations to the Minster,

Anne's shattered tombstone
was found under a raised platform

by stonemason Andrew Barraclough.

They've had a big hammer
and they've struck that,

and that's what that...
to form that type of a break.

That was a heck of a hit.
That's a... Yeah, a big hammer.

Yeah. And the same there. So they've
hit there and they've hit there.

Yeah. Her stone has been desecrated.
Yeah.

Call it what you want.
Yeah, literally.

Within living memory,
which is really, really sad. Yeah.

She was a very prominent person
in Halifax.

There's no two ways about it,
you know. Yeah.

Anybody that was anybody... Got it.
..knew that she was who she was.

And I feel she's not being treated
as she should have been treated.

Yeah. I say I've no axe to grind.

Right. I just, as a person,
I feel that she's not been treated

in the right way,
not been shown any respect.

Are you going home?

What the hell are you doing?

I asked you if you're going home.

Some people think
it's time you went home.

Keep still!

You dirty fucking Jack!
Damn you!

"Jack" was a slur used against
lesbians in the 19th century.

Anne Lister was dubbed "Gentleman"
or "Jack" by people who disapproved

of her lifestyle
and nonconforming dress sense.

Leave Miss Walker alone.

JUMBLED CHATTER

I think that stood out to me,
not for, like, "I love that scene."

No. It's because that's how I felt
when I was younger.

I felt like around every corner
was someone who was just

going to hate me.

I have this lump in my throat
knowing that there's a chance

of her being beaten up to pulp
just because she lives in this body

and someone from the outside comes
and decides for her that this is

the body that you live in.
Thus, this is what you are,

and I can do these things to you
because I'm more powerful.

So, yes, that's definitely
something that got my heart rate up.

It took me ages to realise
I was gay.

I still had, like, quite a lot
of shame surrounding it, I think.

And I still kind of struggle
with that a little bit.

At the moment, I'm still not out
to my grandparents.

Whenever they've said the word "gay"
it's always in a negative light

most of the time.
So, you know, things like that

kind of made me really think,
"Oh, is it a good idea?"

22-year-old Kiki came out
to her parents

after watching Gentleman Jack.

I was watching so many shows
with so many queer characters

and queer relationships,
and I think it finally dawned on me

that straight people don't really
care that much,

they're not invested
to the point where, you know,

it takes up most of their thoughts
of the day.

Get that slow-mo spray!

I did go through a period
of thinking that I was pansexual,

and I didn't really know.
And then realising,

"OK, I definitely am gay,
that's just... Yeah."

I told my mum
straight after I realised,

because it felt like,
not that I was lying to her,

but definitely that I was keeping
something from her which I never do,

so I told her pretty quick.

I think I had to come out the first
time to get the ball rolling,

and then I had, like, a year or
something kind of getting used to it

and being more comfortable with it
before I then told my sisters.

Pickle!
At least smile for the video!

I was quite grateful to be able
to do it how I wanted to do it,

tell people as I wanted to tell them
and go at my own pace,

which was quite nice.

Oh, banger! I know!

Shall we all try standing up?
Are you sure?

My family know that I'm gay,
but my grandparents don't.

My sexuality isn't
my whole personality,

but sometimes it is.

And sometimes I, you know, have,
I don't know,

days where, like,
I want to say something

or reference something
or make a joke about something,

and I stop myself because I'm like,
"Oh, I can't."

Because then obviously they'd know,
and it's the actual getting it out,

getting it over, like,
the last hurdle.

I want to go and tell them tomorrow.

Because we're so close,

I don't want to think
about us not being that close.

But I just want to know
that they're seeing me for me,

because sometimes if they're saying,

"We love you," and I'm like,
"Oh, but would you if you knew?"

I don't want to have to feel
like I'm kind of squashing

half of me down
when I'm around them.

The thought of kind of being like,

"Here's me, take it or leave it,"
is quite scary because, you know,

it matters when the people
mean so much to you.

Before visiting,

Kiki told her grandparents
she's being filmed

for a documentary about Anne Lister.

Oh, hello! How are you?
I haven't seen you for ages.

I know.

Grandad!

Hello, my darling. You all right?
Mwah.

You are? Yes, thank you.

I'm sure you've grown!
I've shrunk, or you've grown.

Well, let me take my shoes off.
Look, there we go,

I've shrunk again now!

So, are we going to know what's
going on, then, are we, or...?

Erm, OK.

Erm, yeah.

So I want to tell you for ages
and ages,

but, well, I'm gay.

So, that's it, that's all
I wanted to say!

God, are we embarrassed!

THEY LAUGH
I knew you were going to say that!

We live with a gay granddaughter!
I can't believe it.

So, do you have a girlfriend
at the moment?

No. What's the point of being gay?
Well...!

Going through all this and not have
a girlfriend! You know, one day!

I'd have kept quiet!

Grandad,
I kept quiet for three years!

Three years? Well...
I mean, you're still young.

You're positive about it?
This is where you're going?

Yes, absolutely. Definitely.
No questions!

Do you visit gay bars?

Erm, sometimes.

Not that often, but sometimes. Not
yet. You haven't really got into it.

Well, I've been to...
Are you a little beginner?

Yeah, I've only been to a couple,
but not that many.

You'd be a good catch
for some young lady.

Certainly doesn't worry me,
my lovey. Oh, thanks, Grandad.

Whatever you want to do,
we love you.

You are very brave to tell us.
Oh, thank you. Well done.

I can't believe it!

Thank you very much for telling us.

You're still the same Kiki. Yeah.

It doesn't matter what it is.
But you seem happier.

Oh, that's good. I feel happier.

Yeah. That's good.
That's everything.

I loves you, Grandad.
I love you, my lovey.

It makes no difference at all.
Ah, thank you, Grandad.

It was just saying it,
and I think I still got...

I still find it hard
even just to say the word "gay".

Like, I still I have
to push it out,

because, like, the amount
of shame that is still there.

But I can come for the weekend
and enjoy it.

And I don't have to question that
when they say that they love me,

I know that they love all of me
and I don't have to worry.

I just know that they do,
and I can just accept it

and move on with
the rest of my day.

All right? All good.

You did very, very well.
Well done. See?

Nature played a challenging trick
on me,

putting a bold spirit like mine
in this vessel in which I'm obliged

to wear frills and petticoats.
Well, I refuse to be cowed by it.

People can be very cruel.

Shame on them.

I don't want you to be hurt.

Sometimes if we want to be happy,
we have to risk getting hurt.

I watched Gentleman Jack when
it was on and I was living alone.

I didn't have a relationship,
I'd been like that for 30 years.

I could identify myself
in Anne Lister,

she was such a strong character
and so brave, erm,

to be open with how she felt,
because I personally know

what it's like to feel like that.

In the 1960s,

same-sex relationships
of any sort were frowned upon.

Even though lesbian relationships
were not actually illegal,

but nobody ever talked about it.

ARCHIVE REEL: The swashbuckling
approach, the thumping stride,

the tough man's clothes.

These things are natural
to some lesbians,

but mostly unacceptable
to people outside that world.

Today, attitudes to lesbianism have
changed beyond all recognition

for women like Pauline.

Even so, she's decided
that she doesn't want to be

completely recognisable,

so hairstyles and names
have been changed.

From a very early age,
I realised my sexual orientation.

As I got into my teens,
I started having kind of

slight relationships with people.

And then I met Trixie
in the work situation,

she was very young,

very beautiful and very easy
to fall in love with.

We were actually together
for 22 years.

We separated,

because Trixie felt she should do
what everybody else does

and be going out with men
and meeting up with men.

I was absolutely heartbroken
when we split up.

It took me a long, long time
to get back on my feet

and realise that I had to go on.

Life was still in front of me.

I did try to have
other relationships,

but somehow it never worked.

Nobody could ever take
Trixie's place.

I just threw myself into work.

I watched Gentleman Jack and was
very affected by it emotionally.

And it really stirred me
into doing something.

I couldn't just sit
and do nothing any more.

I had a photograph of Trixie
in the drawer of my desk

and every now and again would get
the photograph out

and just gaze at it

and wonder, should I or should I not
try and find her

and get in touch again?

I found out where I thought
she might be.

I wrote this card that had
my contact details on one side

and I just wrote on the back,
"Would love to know how you are."

That card actually laid on my desk
for a number of weeks

before I was actually brave enough
to post it.

I did post it and waited
with great trepidation.

Eventually I did get a reply.

I got home from work

and there on the floor
was a white envelope

and I just recognised
the handwriting.

I thought, "No, that can't be."
And I opened it,

and there it was, very basic,
"How are you?"

Absolutely gobsmacked.

I think it was a couple
of days later the phone rang

and it was Trixie.
And she plucked up courage to ring,

and that was a very, very emotional
moment after all those years

to actually talk to each other.

We just cried most of the time.
Well, we did, really. Yeah.

And it got more and more every day.

And then she said,
"Why don't you come for a holiday?"

And she said, "I'll come
and pick you up."

She stayed for two weeks. Yeah.

Two weeks. And in that time decided,

that, yes, we were going to get
back together again.

And it was just as if that 35 years
had never, ever happened.

I think that goes on there.
That's it.

I would love to go to Shibden Hall.

Just brings the whole story
to life, doesn't it?

Yeah, it does.
We shall have to look into that.

I wonder if there's a special trip
with a coach that we could get

so we don't have to drive? Maybe.
Yeah. We'll have to look into that.

Over the years, when I got engaged
to people,

there was never that depth
of love there, so I didn't bother,

I just didn't want to marry them.
And I think deep down,

that was the only one ever took
my heart, was this lady, really.

It's amazing that we had
to be apart for so many years.

And here we are, back together.

Attitudes have changed a lot,
and I think things

like Gentleman Jack
have done a lot for society

and an awful lot of people
have benefited from that.

I will never cease to admire
Anne Lister and Anne Walker,

because they were very brave people.

The second series of Gentleman Jack
is under way.

It's being filmed at

Anne Lister's real home,
Shibden Hall,

just outside Halifax.

I'm just really pleased that more
people know about Anne Lister.

I'm pleased that people
are interested to know about

Anne Lister now. Yeah.

You know, she deserves to be much
more famous than she has been.

And I think that is
the incredible thing,

off the back of this show,
that it's now part of

the history of Halifax
and the country.

But it is
because of what you've done.

It's a strange situation
that a TV show has told

a bit of history that
people didn't know before. Yeah.

You've taken the diary
and not missed a beat.

Like, you know,

these characters aren't just
kind of, like, thinly drawn.

Like, you've gone
so deep into every aspect

of their relationship,
which is beautiful.

Quiet now, please.

Action!

Ah, how was your journey?
Bit of a delay.

Thank you for inviting me.
You're very welcome.

Thank you.

I've had so many letters,

I'm sure you guys
have had so many more,

from people saying, "I watched
the show and I was able to confront

"who I am and be comfortable
with it."

And it gives a visual reference
to their parents,

to their friends, to say,
"Look at this amazing woman."

To go, "Oh, that's how I feel.

"It's OK to explore my gender
in that way.

"It's OK to explore
my sexuality in that way,

"and to be courageous with it."

There's no infection, I'm told.
He's been very lucky,

he's healing well.

It were very good of you, ma'am,
to pay for Dr Kenny.

It was my sister
who paid for Dr Kenny,

but, yes, it was very kind of her.

Do you think she looks better
without the hat?

Yeah, I suppose so,
but I still don't like her.

Are you a man?

No, I am not a man.

I'm a lady, a woman,
I'm a lady woman.

Think she explains that very well!

But I think, yeah, it's just
a little boy confused

as to her appearance.

But it doesn't faze her,

and I think she deals
with it really nicely.

What do you think, Mum?

I thought she was really nice
with this little boy.

I think this is a part that I like.

Yeah, it's a really nice,
touching scene.

I think it is getting better
as time's going on.

She does want me to just, like,
get married and have kids,

as she's done.

But I have asked her
what her problem is,

and she says it's like
a generational thing.

She's not grown up around that
sort of alternative lifestyle,

and she says it's not been
in the family.

But again, it's like, well, she was
the first to date black men

and have children with them,

so I just don't get
where that source

of hatred is coming from.

It limits how close we can be
and how much we can share

and how much she knows about
my life, erm, which is a shame.

She's been promising me
to do this for ages.

Ten years after coming out
to her mum,

Sami has plucked up the courage
to broach the subject again.

You know how when I first told
you about my sexuality?

Yeah. You were so upset and crying

and then maybe some anger,
do you remember?

Yeah.

So I just want to check now,
why was that?

I was... It was a shock.

I never expected it.

Were you disappointed?

At the time, going back, yeah,
I'm not going to lie.

And there's been some
hurtful things that were said.

I know you've said stuff
like I needed

to be straightened out
and I wasn't born like this.

Those comments, was that part
of the shock, or...?

Yeah, course it was.

Because I just want to know, like,
what place that's come from?

Is it, like, genuine hatred
or just...?

No, I didn't hate you in any way.

I just thought that it was
a passing fancy

and it would go away.

It's felt to me like you'd be
more accepting if I was

with a guy that was
a criminal or crook.

That's more acceptable
than being with a woman.

Well, it's not like that.

It's how it's come across,
which is very hurtful, really.

Looking back, when you told me,
you think,

"Gosh, what are people going
to think?"

But now...

..as long as you find,
go meet somebody,

maybe a man or woman,

I don't mind,
as long as you're happy.

It's unlikely to be a man,
I'm afraid.

But, yeah, it's really good
to know going forward

that, you know, I can be more
at ease and more open,

because I think that will allow me
to progress.

And what if I meet someone
and want to get married,

would you come to that wedding?

Of course I would.

And would you be proud
about it, or...?

I don't know. I'd have to cross
that bridge when I come to it.

Yeah, it took me a long time
to get my head around it.

But I have now. It's your choice.
What you want.

Good. Next foot!

I belong to the Church of
Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints,

more commonly known
as the Mormon Church.

I was an avid teenybopper
Osmond fan.

And their mother used
to always be putting stuff

in the magazines about faith,

it was sometimes seen as a cult.

But because of the Osmonds,

I knew how good they were
and how nice they were.

So I decided I would get baptised.

Homosexuality is a sin.
Same-sex marriage is a sin.

So that's difficult.

I can say probably to people,

I'm gay and, you know,
they'll understand,

and they may well eventually
treat me normally,

and it'll be all OK.
But if I met somebody,

then I'm not really welcome,

because then that's viewed
as the sin.

You know, in my heart,
I just love my faith.

If I just forget about meeting
anybody, or that ever happening,

then I can participate
in all of that,

but I can't have that joy.

You know, it is quite emotional,
it's just like,

"What, do I just hang on
and sacrifice that?"

What do I do? Because either way,
there's going to be a sacrifice.

A year after first hearing about
Anne Lister,

Yvonne has just come out
to her daughter, Laurie.

I was trying to say and I couldn't,
and then she just said,

"Are you gay?"

This is the first time
I'm going to actually meet her

and see her face-to-face,
so I'm a little bit nervous.

Yvonne brought up her children,
Laurie and Jordan,

as members of the Church of
Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

Laurie is still
an active church member.

Hello. Hello.

I can't give you a hug. I know.

Sit here. Sit here.

It's windy. Oh, babe,
how are you feeling?

Yeah, it was a weird one!

Not what I expected on the phone.

No.

Oh!

It just felt like a whole ton
of bricks had been taken

off my shoulders.

Like, knowing me. Like, knowing me
deeper than I realised.

Yeah. When you said, "I can well
see you with somebody,"

you know. Yeah.
That makes way more sense.

You know, you kind of know
where my joy would be.

That's what I would want for you,

because I can tell that would make
you really happy.

And that's all I want for you.

Yeah. I just thought,
"This is unbelievable."

And I just couldn't believe
that it would be so positive.

Shall we go for a walk? Yeah.

My main concern is what
you're going to do about Jordan.

When are you planning
on saying anything?

Probably today, I will probably
have to say the word.

He'll catch on quick.

And if I can't say the word,
I'll get him to phone Laurie!

You're just going to use me now!
I'm going to be the spokesperson!

OK.

Hi, Jord.

'Hello.' Hiya, where are you?

'Where am I?' Mm-hm.

All right, OK.
Have you got a minute?

'Yeah. Why, what's up?'

Erm, well. A bomb's fell
on top of me, Jordan,

I just realised something
about myself.

Erm...

I'm not straight.

'Oh, right, OK.'

'That makes sense.'

"Oh, right, OK.
That makes sense!"

Good for you, Mum.
Oh, thank goodness, Jordan.

I've been, like, terrified.

'All right, see you, Mum.'
OK, son, love you.

'Bye.' Bye. 'Love you too, Bye.'

What kind of kids have I got?

They're just amazing.

Just amazing.

I love, and only love,
the fairer sex.

My heart revolts
from any other love than theirs.

200 years ago,

Anne Lister had no qualms
reconciling her love for women

with her faith.

I was born like this,

and I act as my God given
nature dictates.

If I was to lie with a man,
surely that would be unnatural.

Surely that would be against God,

who made us, every one of us,

in all of our richness.

Anne's confidence has inspired
many of her fans

whose faith is also important
to them.

I grew up in an ultra Orthodox
Jewish community.

I came out, basically,
because of the show,

because of the courage.

I, like, said to myself,

"This is a woman
in the 18th century."

I live now, maybe inside,

I live in the 18th century
in some way,

but outside, I can go

and tell everyone that I am lesbian.

There's never been something
that has impacted me so greatly.

And it was because
of the representation.

There's this woman who
unapologetically chose to live

a life that made her happy,
which included her being

both with a woman,
and being in her faith.

That line where she said,
"God made me this way,"

that just, like,
really was powerful,

because it was just like,
people want to be, like,

"Oh, you're going against God
and going against this,

"you're going against that."
But you're not.

This is just who you are,
and there's nothing wrong with it.

I want you to be my wife
and everything that that means.

To love, to cherish,

to have and to hold according
to God's holy ordinance.

Katie met her partner,
code-breaker Isabel,

five years ago
in their church choir.

They share Anne Lister's faith
and her desire to marry in church.

It's reaching the point
in our relationship

where we would really like
to get married.

I thought we had marriage equality,

so finding out that we can't marry
in the church where we met

was a really hard realisation.

The legal systems
within the United Kingdom

recognise same-sex marriage.

But the Church of England does
not sanction marriage ceremonies

between same-sex couples.

People always say to me,

"Why do you need to get married
in church?"

I mean, the obvious thing is
it's where we met.

We spend every week,
week in, week out,

every Friday, every Sunday,
being part of the congregation.

But also I do want to get married
in the sight of God.

Just everybody else looks happy,
and she doesn't.

She knows how important it would be
to her to be in a marriage.

Yeah, it's denied her.

Take and eat this in remembrance
that Christ died for thee,

and feed on him in your hearts
by faith with thanksgiving.

The body of Christ,
which is given for thee. Amen.

That's the significance of taking
the sacrament together,

is that's the moment that
they are the closest to God.

Kneel next to each other just like
you would in a real wedding.

It's been nearly 190 years,
and we know exactly how they feel.

Things have changed so much
in so many ways.

But as far as getting married
in a church,

we are exactly where they were.

That sort of frustration
at not being able to have this,

well, that's completely relatable
to me. Yeah.

Yvonne came out to her son Jordan
on the phone.

They haven't spoken about it since.

Hi, Mother. How are you?
Yeah, I'm fine, son.

So how did you feel after that
phone call?

It's just classic you,
you sit in your own world.

I don't even think it's crossed your
mind until you watched that thing.

It didn't. It didn't.

A lot of things make sense now.

Good for you. Crack on,
get yourself a girlfriend, Mum.

Are you on Tinder?

Well, that's weird. No, no, no!

63 and all to play for now, though,
Mum. Oh, get lost! All to play for.

It would definitely be a plunge.

Well, dive headfirst.
You made the first step.

Make another one. Why not?

How are you, sister?

All right. How are you, brother?

Not too bad.

Jordan left the Mormon church
years ago,

but his sister Laurie
is still an active member.

I don't think we have properly
sat down and chatted really,

have we? Not about this.

Nothing has changed in my world
at the moment,

but when this moves on to the next
bit, when random people do know...

Yeah. ..then I am a bit worried.
It'll not affect me,

but I'm like, how will it affect
you? You, I'm not so worried about.

I don't think it will affect
you at all.

That's because no-one
will come to you!

I go to church,
you don't go to church,

so anyone at church
is going to come to me.

They usually don't ask the source,
do they?

They usually go round the back way.
It's all right.

It's definitely you I worry about,
I definitely do.

So the church rule on being
homosexual is the weirdest,

most confusing rule
I've ever heard in my life.

That you can be openly gay,

as long as you don't physically
act upon it.

Like, that does not compute
in my head whatsoever with church.

I don't get it.

I don't feel that.

And I come from a place of...

..I can make changes
in the church. Yeah.

Absolutely. Cos I do consider
myself an ally. Yeah.

Bit I also consider myself
a full member

of the Church of Jesus Christ
of Latter Day Saints. Yeah.

And we are at a head
with everything at the minute.

Yes. There's certain things
that I have to leave behind,

because it hurts. Yeah.

It just hurts when there's
certain things they say.

And I know that
they don't understand,

and I know what it's like
for people to feel, you know,

they think they're being kind.
You know, like,

"Well, I love you, but I don't love
your lifestyle," or whatever.

You know. It's just this
patronising kind of...

And now I really feel it more.

If a relationship came up,
I would want a relationship,

because life is too short now.

I couldn't imagine
if you did have a connection

with somebody and you wanted
to go with that,

I would then have to deprive myself
of that experience.

I mean, I don't think I'll ever
lose my faith,

and the church will always be
a special place for me.

But there comes a point, by knowing
this, that I kind of know,

"Oh, I get it now."
Actually, this is me,

and this is how God made me.

So I'm not going to apologise
for that.

That was me at Rio Carnival.

That's normal me.

One at Shibden.

Sami's also ready to take
the next steps in her search

for romance and has enlisted
her mum to help.

So these are some of them
that have liked me.

Too much posing on that one!
That's a no.

She lives for solitude.

So why's she on here?

Into non-monogamy? What's that?

She's not just with one person.

Your face! It's like you're
in a state of shock.

No, no, no, no.

I am a bit choosy.
What are you looking for, Sam?

Someone who's sociable
and has their own life going on,

job and friends and stuff.

But someone who's not shy of, like,
you know, cleaning the kitchen floor

and chipping in in housework.
Someone who's quite down-to-earth.

I don't know if that sounds
too much,

but those are the sorts
of things I'm looking for, really.

This one is 31.
She's into healthfoods, fitness.

She's got a nose piercing.

Doesn't matter.
As long as nothing else is pierced!

And what do you think?

Give it a go.

Him and her looking
for a third to have fun.

So I'm going to say yes to that.
You're not, are you?

No, I'm not! Of course!

As if! That's a no. Oh, God.

I loved that.

She really seemed
to want to be part of it.

She made clear
she wouldn't be keen on me being

with someone overly butch or
someone that wears big boots,

in her words, that sort of dress.

I think dress does matter
to her image.

But overall,
I just feel more comfortable.

It does make a huge difference,

allowing her to be more involved
in that part of my life.

I feel like we can move forward.

Finding out two years or so ago
that we couldn't marry

in the church where we met
and in front of all our friends

was a really hard thing

and it just sometimes feels like
the whole church is against you.

But it's not the case,
there are so many clergy

who would want to, I think.

Despite Isabel and Katie's church
being inclusive,

Church of England priests
are forbidden from marrying

same-sex couples.

It's massively frustrating
for those of us who feel

it's the right thing to do
as priests to be able

to marry people who love each other
and are rooted in this congregation.

You know, that feels
instinctively right,

and I know that you could go
round the corner to the town hall,

to the register office
and you could come back here

and we could have music,
and we could have prayers

and I could speak
the words of blessing.

But that's not the point
somehow, really.

Yeah.

Could you get butter
and eggs, please? Yeah.

Anne Lister's bravery
inspired Isabel to take on

the Church of England,
by standing for election

to the Church's lawmakers,
the General Synod.

I just woke up one morning,
sat up in bed,

and just said,
"Sod it, I'm going to do it."

I am interested in more things than
talking about same-sex marriage

in churches,
I am interested in learning more.

But obviously, that is
the main reason why I am standing.

Change is happening,
it's only a matter of time, frankly,

I just would really like it to be
in the next ten years of my life

rather than when
I'm an old lady, frankly.

But we'll get there. We have to.

Camera is going up.

I'll never play anyone else like her

because she's theatrical,
she's sensitive,

she's vulnerable, she's charismatic,
she's sexy,

she's hard, she's vicious,
she's cruel at times.

I mean, what a gift.

That's why it's resonated
with so many people,

because there's no-one like her
on our screens, you know.

I've spent a lot of my career
feeling quite silly sometimes

about being an actor.

It's very easy to think,
"I'm not really doing anything."

That's why it's been so special
being a part of this,

because it really has impacted
people's lives.

It's the first time I've written
something that I think

was important. Yeah, yeah.
Actually important.

So I'm just packing my bag,
ready to go out to Pride.

I'm trying to fit everything in here
that I'll need for the day.

I've just got my reading glasses,
my sunglasses.

That's pretty much everything
that will fit.

Before, I wouldn't have worn this
outside of the Gay Village,

I would have kept it in a bag
and put it on when I'm in there,

because I wouldn't want neighbours
to sort of guess,

or anything like that.

But now it's like, "Yep,
I'm going out there with this on."

And they can like it or lump it,
really, you know.

Hi, Mum. Are you going to take
that hat with you?

Yeah, just for a laugh.
I'm more worried about the shorts.

No, they look all right.

Really? Yeah. There's my answer.
See you later, Luther.

Watch what you're doing.

Thank you. Be careful.

I will. I'll see later.
Or you might not, actually,

I might pull and not come home!

Bye. See you later.

Watch how you go. I will.

Bye. Bye.

I thought I would run by you...
Go on.

..a little ditty I've written.
Yeah?

It just encapsulates how mad
my life has been since this.

OK.

# The journey, it started
just watching the TV

# Anne Lister in Gentleman Jack

# And I was astonished
at how proudly she walked

# With self-acceptance
and no apology

# So here I am, embracing rainbows

# My colours for all to see

# Cos finally I see
every shade that makes me. #

I like it, Mum. I like it.

Next Pride anthem, that one.

I learnt a song, Mum.
Oh, did you?

I did, yeah. Just for you, Mum,
in your current situation.

# I'm coming out

# I want the world to know... #

Embrace more rainbows, Mum.

# I'm coming... #

Sami is still
looking for a soulmate.

Kiki is very happy her whole
family now knows the real her.

Isabel narrowly missed out
on election to the Synod,

but she's going to try again.

Yvonne's made new friends through
the Anne Lister fan groups.

And Pauline and Trixie finally
visited Shibden Hall.

# I'm coming out

# I want the world to know

# Got to let it show

# I'm coming out

# I want the world to know

# Got to let it show

# There's a new me coming out

# And I just have to live

# And I wanna give

# I'm completely positive... #