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My name is Sebastian.
And, yeah, that's me.
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00:00:32,428 --> 00:00:35,214
When my mother used
to dress me for pre-school,
3
00:00:35,214 --> 00:00:38,391
like I was going to Studio 54.
4
00:00:38,391 --> 00:00:42,438
Like most American stories,
mine starts a long time ago
5
00:00:42,438 --> 00:00:43,657
on another continent.
6
00:00:44,875 --> 00:00:49,097
Specifically,
the magical island of Sicilia.
7
00:00:50,968 --> 00:00:52,448
A lot of folks
like to call Sicily
8
00:00:52,448 --> 00:00:54,885
the big ball in front
of the boot of Italy,
9
00:00:54,885 --> 00:00:56,322
which makes sense
10
00:00:56,322 --> 00:00:57,888
'cause the world's been
trying to kick our ass
11
00:00:57,888 --> 00:00:59,977
since the dawn of time.
12
00:01:01,414 --> 00:01:03,372
For generations,
my people have been
13
00:01:03,372 --> 00:01:05,548
threatened by wars,
14
00:01:05,548 --> 00:01:07,072
volcanoes,
15
00:01:07,072 --> 00:01:10,075
and testicle-crushing Speedos.
16
00:01:11,163 --> 00:01:12,773
But we survived it all
17
00:01:12,773 --> 00:01:15,341
through one unstoppable force.
18
00:01:15,863 --> 00:01:17,473
Family.
19
00:01:17,473 --> 00:01:22,261
These are actual photos
of my Sicilian ancestors.
20
00:01:22,261 --> 00:01:25,220
Note the signature
Maniscalco look.
21
00:01:25,220 --> 00:01:29,311
With the curved spines
and the resting bitch face,
22
00:01:29,311 --> 00:01:32,706
like a bunch
of pissed-off candy canes.
23
00:01:32,706 --> 00:01:35,143
Over the past few centuries,
24
00:01:35,143 --> 00:01:40,148
these proud hunchback men
have operated with one goal.
25
00:01:40,148 --> 00:01:41,454
Do everything you can...
26
00:01:41,454 --> 00:01:43,195
...to give your kids
a better life
27
00:01:43,195 --> 00:01:45,066
than the one you had.
28
00:01:45,066 --> 00:01:47,155
For my father,
this meant leaving
29
00:01:47,155 --> 00:01:49,679
his beloved Sicily
for Chicago.
30
00:01:49,679 --> 00:01:52,029
So he and my mother could
give me opportunities
31
00:01:52,029 --> 00:01:53,118
they never got.
32
00:01:53,118 --> 00:01:55,468
Like shoveling snow.
33
00:01:55,468 --> 00:01:58,732
Growing a beautiful mullet.
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00:01:58,732 --> 00:02:00,212
And going to the prom
35
00:02:00,212 --> 00:02:01,735
looking like a pit boss.
36
00:02:03,302 --> 00:02:05,217
Growing up,
my father busted his hump
37
00:02:05,217 --> 00:02:07,219
to instill in me certain rules
38
00:02:07,219 --> 00:02:09,873
of how a man should operate.
39
00:02:09,873 --> 00:02:13,225
Like, if you're awake,
you should be workin'.
40
00:02:13,225 --> 00:02:14,748
Hey, how's
the pressure,
Mrs. Marinelli?
41
00:02:14,748 --> 00:02:16,445
Harder.
42
00:02:16,445 --> 00:02:17,968
You got to get in there, son.
I don't pay you by the hour,
43
00:02:17,968 --> 00:02:19,492
I pay you
by the moan, capisce?
44
00:02:22,016 --> 00:02:23,496
Guy
with the ponytail,
45
00:02:23,496 --> 00:02:24,932
that's my dad.
46
00:02:24,932 --> 00:02:27,369
Did I mention he owns a salon?
47
00:02:27,369 --> 00:02:30,851
The man comes from a long line
of Sicilian hairstylists.
48
00:02:30,851 --> 00:02:33,027
And don't you dare
call him a barber.
49
00:02:33,027 --> 00:02:35,334
This man doesn't
just cut hair,
50
00:02:35,334 --> 00:02:37,510
he creates styles.
51
00:02:37,510 --> 00:02:39,512
Salvo,
52
00:02:39,512 --> 00:02:40,904
it's beautiful.
53
00:02:40,904 --> 00:02:42,906
See? I told you
you had cheekbones
under there.
54
00:02:42,906 --> 00:02:45,431
You just needed Michelangelo
to dig them out.
55
00:02:45,431 --> 00:02:48,129
Child labor laws
were definitely broken.
56
00:02:48,129 --> 00:02:49,435
But on the bright side,
57
00:02:49,435 --> 00:02:52,177
I had the most realistic
Chewbacca costume
58
00:02:52,177 --> 00:02:54,004
in the history of Halloween.
59
00:02:56,355 --> 00:02:58,922
He taught me
to always save your money.
60
00:02:58,922 --> 00:03:00,489
No apps, no dessert.
SALUDOS A TONY DEL RPTO. ELECTRICO DESDE NICARAGUA :)
61
00:03:00,489 --> 00:03:01,838
And if you don't
finish your main,
62
00:03:01,838 --> 00:03:03,623
you're paying
for your own
birthday dinner.
63
00:03:07,192 --> 00:03:09,455
And to be resourceful.
64
00:03:09,455 --> 00:03:10,891
You wanted me
to buy you
a skateboard,
65
00:03:10,891 --> 00:03:12,284
I built you
one instead.
66
00:03:14,111 --> 00:03:15,112
Next year,
I'm gonna
build you
67
00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:17,202
one of those Nintendos.
68
00:03:17,202 --> 00:03:19,334
But one exception, cologne.
69
00:03:19,334 --> 00:03:23,382
Never cheap out
on your signature scent.
70
00:03:23,382 --> 00:03:26,907
At bedtime, our house smelled
like an Uber in Las Vegas.
71
00:03:30,258 --> 00:03:32,739
The only time I saw
my father smile is
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00:03:32,739 --> 00:03:34,001
when we did
the chicken dance
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00:03:34,001 --> 00:03:35,089
for my mother.
74
00:03:37,570 --> 00:03:40,007
To me, this man was a God.
75
00:03:41,487 --> 00:03:43,706
And it was all
working out great
76
00:03:43,706 --> 00:03:45,578
until I grew up,
77
00:03:45,578 --> 00:03:49,712
and fell for someone
who was my complete opposite.
78
00:03:49,712 --> 00:03:52,237
Her name was Ellie.
79
00:03:53,194 --> 00:03:55,544
I mean, look at this girl.
80
00:03:55,544 --> 00:03:59,722
The style, the positivity,
81
00:03:59,722 --> 00:04:01,855
personality.
82
00:04:01,855 --> 00:04:04,727
Yeah, this was my dream woman.
83
00:04:08,122 --> 00:04:09,254
Sebastian!
84
00:04:10,777 --> 00:04:12,909
Ah! I'm so sorry
I'm late.
85
00:04:12,909 --> 00:04:15,347
This guy's charging
$15 for valet.
86
00:04:15,347 --> 00:04:17,131
So I parked it
nine blocks away.
87
00:04:17,131 --> 00:04:19,046
Wait a minute,
if you parked
that far away,
88
00:04:19,046 --> 00:04:21,048
how are you so dry?
You sweat just
getting the mail.
89
00:04:21,048 --> 00:04:23,224
It's the Fendi, babe.
90
00:04:23,224 --> 00:04:25,357
It's wicking away.
91
00:04:26,401 --> 00:04:28,055
- You want one?
- Yeah.
92
00:04:28,055 --> 00:04:29,491
You know,
everyone said
I should serve
93
00:04:29,491 --> 00:04:31,754
fancy food
at my opening,
and I was like,
94
00:04:31,754 --> 00:04:36,542
"Name one person
that doesn't like
a hot dog."
95
00:04:36,542 --> 00:04:39,284
And get this, she's an artist.
96
00:04:39,284 --> 00:04:41,024
I mean, growing up,
I wasn't even allowed
97
00:04:41,024 --> 00:04:42,548
to do it as a hobby.
98
00:04:42,548 --> 00:04:43,636
So how's
the show going?
99
00:04:43,636 --> 00:04:46,073
Oh, my God!
Freaking amazing.
100
00:04:46,073 --> 00:04:48,118
All my pieces sold out
in like 15 minutes.
101
00:04:48,118 --> 00:04:50,599
- Babe, that's incredible.
- I know, right?
102
00:04:50,599 --> 00:04:52,993
I mean, most of them went
to this big decorator,
103
00:04:52,993 --> 00:04:56,301
but they have clients
all over the world,
so I'm not complaining.
104
00:04:56,301 --> 00:04:57,911
Well, you shouldn't.
105
00:04:57,911 --> 00:04:59,739
Especially because they look,
kind of like, you know...
106
00:05:00,870 --> 00:05:02,437
Vaginas?
107
00:05:02,437 --> 00:05:05,571
Well, you know,
if you just hang
them horizontally,
108
00:05:08,051 --> 00:05:09,662
they kind of look
like sunsets.
109
00:05:09,662 --> 00:05:11,054
Oh, yeah.
110
00:05:11,054 --> 00:05:12,317
Right.
111
00:05:12,317 --> 00:05:13,666
Since the day I met her,
112
00:05:13,666 --> 00:05:15,320
she's been opening my eyes
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00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:18,105
to all kinds
of new experiences.
114
00:05:18,105 --> 00:05:19,498
Like naps.
115
00:05:19,498 --> 00:05:21,413
Weird.
116
00:05:21,413 --> 00:05:23,763
The sun's coming
through the drapes.
117
00:05:23,763 --> 00:05:25,417
And beauty treatments.
118
00:05:25,417 --> 00:05:27,767
Hey, hot stuff.
Looking good.
119
00:05:27,767 --> 00:05:28,855
Wait, are you mad?
120
00:05:28,855 --> 00:05:30,335
Yeah.
121
00:05:30,335 --> 00:05:32,902
That it took 42 years
to discover avocado masks.
122
00:05:32,902 --> 00:05:34,861
And last but not least,
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00:05:34,861 --> 00:05:35,905
smiling.
124
00:05:37,690 --> 00:05:39,648
Okay. Um...
125
00:05:39,648 --> 00:05:41,389
- It's not natural.
- That's...
126
00:05:41,389 --> 00:05:44,392
That's not
particularly natural.
But you know what I think?
127
00:05:44,392 --> 00:05:47,134
I think we just
have to build these
facial muscles,
128
00:05:47,134 --> 00:05:48,657
so you just
got to practice.
129
00:05:48,657 --> 00:05:50,703
Look at that.
Now try it.
130
00:05:50,703 --> 00:05:52,400
I don't... You
look great.
131
00:05:55,490 --> 00:05:58,711
Yeah, life
with Ellie was pretty perfect.
132
00:06:01,931 --> 00:06:03,280
I don't think
I could participate.
133
00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:04,456
That's just ridiculous.
134
00:06:04,456 --> 00:06:05,935
- You promised.
- Oh, come on!
135
00:06:05,935 --> 00:06:08,764
A public wedding
proposal? It's
embarrassing.
136
00:06:08,764 --> 00:06:10,331
I think
it's sweet.
137
00:06:10,331 --> 00:06:12,115
When I propose
to you,
138
00:06:12,115 --> 00:06:13,552
it's going
to be intimate.
139
00:06:13,552 --> 00:06:15,118
- Hmm.
- Just you and me,
140
00:06:15,118 --> 00:06:16,468
the way
it should be.
141
00:06:16,468 --> 00:06:18,121
- Hmm.
- No one else.
142
00:06:18,121 --> 00:06:19,993
Used to be,
"If I propose."
143
00:06:19,993 --> 00:06:21,821
You just said,
"When I propose."
144
00:06:21,821 --> 00:06:23,736
Okay, babe,
it's just...
I'm aggravated.
145
00:06:23,736 --> 00:06:25,825
Words are just
flying out
of my mouth.
146
00:06:25,825 --> 00:06:26,913
Well, just
so you know,
147
00:06:26,913 --> 00:06:29,176
the only way
I will say yes,
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00:06:29,176 --> 00:06:30,612
is if there is
some element
149
00:06:30,612 --> 00:06:32,309
of public
humiliation involved.
150
00:06:32,309 --> 00:06:33,876
- Oh, well.
- Get ready.
151
00:06:33,876 --> 00:06:35,835
You might as well just end
the relationship right now,
152
00:06:35,835 --> 00:06:38,185
because we ain't
- doing that.
- Oh, we're not?
153
00:06:38,185 --> 00:06:39,534
I'm not
- doing this.
- But you're
154
00:06:39,534 --> 00:06:41,057
- such a good dancer.
- Look at these people.
155
00:06:41,057 --> 00:06:44,365
Uh, Ellie?
I kind of need
your help right now.
156
00:06:44,365 --> 00:06:46,976
Right, dude,
we are in!
157
00:06:52,460 --> 00:06:55,115
The truth was,
I had every intention
158
00:06:55,115 --> 00:06:57,117
of asking Ellie to marry me.
159
00:06:58,379 --> 00:07:02,427
I just needed
the right place and time.
160
00:07:06,474 --> 00:07:07,693
I see you, guy.
161
00:07:07,693 --> 00:07:09,695
I see you.
162
00:07:09,695 --> 00:07:12,349
All right? Pick it up.
163
00:07:12,349 --> 00:07:14,961
Thank you.
- Take a walk.
Sebastian.
164
00:07:14,961 --> 00:07:16,963
I'm on the phone
with my parents
and get this,
165
00:07:18,834 --> 00:07:20,532
they're inviting us
166
00:07:21,533 --> 00:07:22,708
out to the summer place
167
00:07:22,708 --> 00:07:25,275
for the big
4th-of-July weekend.
168
00:07:25,275 --> 00:07:27,669
Babe, did you
- just say "us"?
- Us.
169
00:07:27,669 --> 00:07:28,975
I thought this trip
was for family only.
170
00:07:28,975 --> 00:07:30,977
I know! I mean,
I'm so torn
171
00:07:30,977 --> 00:07:33,066
between thinking
this is great news,
172
00:07:33,066 --> 00:07:34,154
or that I might be
dragging you
173
00:07:34,154 --> 00:07:36,112
into an Italian version
of Get Out.
174
00:07:36,112 --> 00:07:37,810
I'm not sure. Oh, uh, uh...
175
00:07:37,810 --> 00:07:40,856
Yes, yes, yes,
Mother, yes. I'm
asking him right now,
176
00:07:40,856 --> 00:07:42,292
please hold.
177
00:07:42,292 --> 00:07:43,598
What do you think?
178
00:07:46,949 --> 00:07:49,735
Yeah.
179
00:07:49,735 --> 00:07:52,085
He's man-crying.
That means it's a yes.
180
00:07:52,085 --> 00:07:53,913
- Yes!
- I love you.
181
00:07:54,696 --> 00:07:55,915
I'm gonna
get you tissues.
182
00:07:55,915 --> 00:07:58,570
I love you.
I'm so excited.
183
00:07:58,570 --> 00:08:01,529
So, yeah,
I'm a big crier.
184
00:08:01,529 --> 00:08:04,619
I love to just marinate
in my own tears.
185
00:08:04,619 --> 00:08:05,925
Mmm.
186
00:08:05,925 --> 00:08:07,927
But this was a huge deal.
187
00:08:09,755 --> 00:08:12,671
Ellie's summer place wasn't
just the perfect spot
188
00:08:12,671 --> 00:08:14,237
to propose.
189
00:08:14,237 --> 00:08:17,719
It also meant her family was
starting to accept me.
190
00:08:17,719 --> 00:08:20,287
Which was amazing, because...
191
00:08:20,287 --> 00:08:22,550
How do I put this eloquently?
192
00:08:22,550 --> 00:08:27,424
These people got
class up the ass.
193
00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:34,301
I mean, look at these people
with their perfect postures,
194
00:08:34,301 --> 00:08:36,521
and their perfect teeth.
195
00:08:36,521 --> 00:08:38,566
Even their dog went
to better schools
196
00:08:38,566 --> 00:08:40,046
than I did.
197
00:08:40,046 --> 00:08:41,438
I was intimidated,
198
00:08:41,438 --> 00:08:43,179
which really didn't
make any sense
199
00:08:43,179 --> 00:08:47,836
as their story was also
an immigrant story.
200
00:08:47,836 --> 00:08:52,145
For some reason, theirs was
considered more respectable,
201
00:08:52,145 --> 00:08:54,713
as it started 400 years ago.
202
00:08:54,713 --> 00:08:56,758
Now, this is
an actual painting
203
00:08:56,758 --> 00:08:59,065
of Ellie's
10th great grandfather,
204
00:08:59,065 --> 00:09:03,112
William Love Collins,
taking his family to America,
205
00:09:03,112 --> 00:09:06,333
on a little boat called
the Mayflower.
206
00:09:06,333 --> 00:09:09,162
You got it. That one.
207
00:09:09,162 --> 00:09:12,600
So while my father came
to chase the American dream,
208
00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:15,690
the Collins were
the American dream,
209
00:09:15,690 --> 00:09:18,084
all the way
up to Ellie's dad.
210
00:09:18,084 --> 00:09:20,739
William Love Collins XII.
211
00:09:20,739 --> 00:09:22,436
Only Italian guys I knew
212
00:09:22,436 --> 00:09:24,569
with Roman numerals
after their names...
213
00:09:24,569 --> 00:09:26,266
...are popes,
214
00:09:26,266 --> 00:09:29,225
and Rocky Balboa.
215
00:09:29,225 --> 00:09:31,097
Her dad is
the chairman and CEO
216
00:09:31,097 --> 00:09:33,534
of the luxurious
Collins Hotel Group,
217
00:09:33,534 --> 00:09:35,014
which was awkward,
218
00:09:35,014 --> 00:09:37,712
as I happened to run
a cool new boutique hotel,
219
00:09:37,712 --> 00:09:40,193
which was stealing
a lot of his Chicago business.
220
00:09:40,976 --> 00:09:42,195
Bottom line?
221
00:09:42,195 --> 00:09:45,633
His baby girl was
dating the enemy.
222
00:09:45,633 --> 00:09:48,984
But Bill wasn't even
the scary parent.
223
00:09:48,984 --> 00:09:51,552
That honor belonged
to Ellie's mother,
224
00:09:51,552 --> 00:09:56,426
whose actual birth name
was Tigger MacArthur.
225
00:09:56,426 --> 00:09:59,691
Anna, darling,
you don't know
anything about me.
226
00:09:59,691 --> 00:10:02,258
And this kitty's got claws.
227
00:10:02,258 --> 00:10:04,347
As an Ivy League
grad-turned-senator
228
00:10:04,347 --> 00:10:05,827
for the state of Maryland,
229
00:10:05,827 --> 00:10:07,873
it took her a long time
230
00:10:07,873 --> 00:10:11,354
to wrap her mind around
her beloved daughter dating
231
00:10:11,354 --> 00:10:14,270
some working-class
hotel manager.
232
00:10:14,270 --> 00:10:16,664
How could I be
anti-immigrant
233
00:10:16,664 --> 00:10:19,841
when my daughter is
dating the son of one?
234
00:10:20,929 --> 00:10:22,409
But this invite meant
235
00:10:22,409 --> 00:10:25,325
I was finally
breaking through.
236
00:10:25,325 --> 00:10:27,936
A holiday weekend was
my chance to charm
237
00:10:27,936 --> 00:10:30,547
the pleated pants
off these people.
238
00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:32,898
And if all went well,
239
00:10:32,898 --> 00:10:36,031
I could ask
for their daughter's
hand in marriage.
240
00:10:37,903 --> 00:10:40,819
So, I had the girl
I wanted to marry,
241
00:10:40,819 --> 00:10:43,648
the perfect spot
to propose to her,
242
00:10:43,648 --> 00:10:46,346
and now,
I just needed the ring,
243
00:10:46,346 --> 00:10:48,653
which should have
been easy to get.
244
00:10:48,653 --> 00:10:49,741
Oh, come on. What do you mean
245
00:10:49,741 --> 00:10:51,525
you're not gonna
give me the ring?
246
00:10:51,525 --> 00:10:53,614
Grandma left it for me
to use when I'm ready
to get married.
247
00:10:53,614 --> 00:10:55,355
Uh, your grandmother
left it with me
248
00:10:55,355 --> 00:10:56,965
to make sure you just
don't give it away
249
00:10:56,965 --> 00:10:59,141
to some puttana, that's what
your grandmother did.
250
00:10:59,141 --> 00:11:01,230
Can you come out
of the garden so
we can talk about this?
251
00:11:03,929 --> 00:11:06,714
They're back.
They're back there
messing with my gagootz.
252
00:11:06,714 --> 00:11:08,673
Forget the gagootz.
253
00:11:08,673 --> 00:11:10,762
Dad, the ring,
- can I have it?
- Look at that.
254
00:11:12,198 --> 00:11:13,503
You know,
I don't know
about this girl,
255
00:11:13,503 --> 00:11:15,244
I gotta tell ya.
I'm not sure
about her.
256
00:11:15,244 --> 00:11:16,942
She put her feet up
on my coffee table,
257
00:11:16,942 --> 00:11:18,378
I don't know... You put
your feet up
258
00:11:18,378 --> 00:11:19,553
on your
- coffee table.
- Yeah, my coffee table,
259
00:11:19,553 --> 00:11:20,728
my feet.
260
00:11:20,728 --> 00:11:22,121
What do you
think is this?
261
00:11:22,121 --> 00:11:24,471
- What bites? A raccoon?
- Ants? Is it an ant?
262
00:11:25,733 --> 00:11:27,343
An ant. You got
to to be kidding me.
263
00:11:28,780 --> 00:11:30,695
Let's see.
Okay, here we are.
264
00:11:30,695 --> 00:11:32,914
Look at them.
That's a possum.
265
00:11:32,914 --> 00:11:35,221
Possum. They're dead.
266
00:11:35,221 --> 00:11:36,744
- Dead, gone.
- Oh, no. Come on,
267
00:11:36,744 --> 00:11:38,746
with the thing again... Gone from this earth.
268
00:11:38,746 --> 00:11:41,009
- Instant death.
- Just set a trap.
269
00:11:41,009 --> 00:11:42,489
Yeah, I'm gonna
set a trap.
270
00:11:42,489 --> 00:11:44,186
I'm gonna get
my antifreeze,
my little...
271
00:11:44,186 --> 00:11:45,840
When I was a kid,
272
00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:48,364
I thought everything
my dad did was normal.
273
00:11:49,539 --> 00:11:51,759
If some string beans
went missing,
274
00:11:51,759 --> 00:11:55,023
I'd wake up to a yard
full of poisoned squirrels,
275
00:11:55,023 --> 00:11:57,199
birds, chipmunks,
276
00:11:57,199 --> 00:11:58,461
basically anything
277
00:11:58,461 --> 00:12:00,855
that ever helped
Cinderella get dressed,
278
00:12:00,855 --> 00:12:03,510
murdered in our backyard.
279
00:12:03,510 --> 00:12:05,251
Come on, Dad.
Could you just admit
280
00:12:05,251 --> 00:12:07,383
that Ellie's not
some puttana?
281
00:12:07,383 --> 00:12:08,820
I love her, you love her.
282
00:12:08,820 --> 00:12:11,605
Just give me the ring
so I can propose.
283
00:12:11,605 --> 00:12:12,911
You really serious
about this?
284
00:12:12,911 --> 00:12:14,477
Yeah, Dad,
she's the one.
285
00:12:14,477 --> 00:12:15,740
- She's the one?
- Yeah.
286
00:12:15,740 --> 00:12:17,002
Okay, son, you know
what I'm gonna do?
287
00:12:17,002 --> 00:12:18,525
I'm gonna give
- you the ring.
- Thank you.
288
00:12:18,525 --> 00:12:20,745
But first I gotta
meet her family.
289
00:12:20,745 --> 00:12:22,442
- What? Why?
- Why?
290
00:12:25,271 --> 00:12:27,099
- That's why.
- What the hell
does that mean?
291
00:12:27,099 --> 00:12:28,970
You got
no respect
for your roots.
292
00:12:28,970 --> 00:12:30,363
I mean, what are
you talking about?
293
00:12:30,363 --> 00:12:31,538
You don't eat
the fruit till
you make sure
294
00:12:31,538 --> 00:12:32,844
the tree ain't sick.
295
00:12:32,844 --> 00:12:34,367
And per tradition,
I need to look
296
00:12:34,367 --> 00:12:35,934
at the mother
and the father's eyes.
297
00:12:35,934 --> 00:12:37,457
I need to look them
in the eyes
298
00:12:37,457 --> 00:12:38,980
to make sure there's no rot.
299
00:12:38,980 --> 00:12:40,590
Because there could be rot.
- Not that there is.
- What?
300
00:12:40,590 --> 00:12:42,810
- But there could be.
- There's no rot
in this family, Dad.
301
00:12:42,810 --> 00:12:44,159
- You never know.
- They're classy.
302
00:12:44,159 --> 00:12:45,944
- You never know.
- Come on, they're
classy people.
303
00:12:45,944 --> 00:12:47,293
Oh, yeah.
304
00:12:47,293 --> 00:12:48,729
The fancier,
the dirtier.
305
00:12:48,729 --> 00:12:50,035
You never know
what's going on.
306
00:12:50,035 --> 00:12:51,732
Plus, they don't live
anywhere near here.
307
00:12:51,732 --> 00:12:53,342
So let me just put you
on a FaceTime,
308
00:12:53,342 --> 00:12:55,170
so you could
taste test them
over the phone.
309
00:12:55,170 --> 00:12:58,173
Hey, I'm not doing FaceTime.
This is an important moment.
310
00:12:58,173 --> 00:12:59,958
FaceTime, Zoom?
What are you, crazy?
311
00:12:59,958 --> 00:13:01,873
You don't gotta
get all upset.
No, gotta be faccia con faccia.
312
00:13:01,873 --> 00:13:04,832
Dad, I want
to do this
next weekend
313
00:13:04,832 --> 00:13:07,226
at their family's house
in the country.
314
00:13:07,226 --> 00:13:09,097
Wait... wait.
Hold on, hold on.
315
00:13:09,097 --> 00:13:10,664
This is the first summer
316
00:13:10,664 --> 00:13:12,884
since we had to say goodbye
to your poor dear mother,
317
00:13:12,884 --> 00:13:14,059
and you're going
to leave me alone
318
00:13:14,059 --> 00:13:15,756
for the goddamn 4th of July?
319
00:13:15,756 --> 00:13:17,105
Well, it's just that,
you know,
320
00:13:17,105 --> 00:13:19,412
her family invited me
to their summer house.
321
00:13:19,412 --> 00:13:20,848
Oh, their summer home?
322
00:13:20,848 --> 00:13:22,067
Oh, most people got one home,
but they got 'em
323
00:13:22,067 --> 00:13:23,764
for different seasons.
Oh, that's nice.
324
00:13:23,764 --> 00:13:25,548
Come on, Dad. So they got
more money than us,
325
00:13:25,548 --> 00:13:28,073
who doesn't? Plus,
it's just for one weekend.
326
00:13:28,073 --> 00:13:30,727
Oh, one weekend, he says.
One weekend.
327
00:13:30,727 --> 00:13:32,642
Fifty years ago,
I come to this country
328
00:13:32,642 --> 00:13:33,905
to give you a better life.
329
00:13:33,905 --> 00:13:35,384
Fifty years ago,
330
00:13:35,384 --> 00:13:38,170
I skipped every weekend
in Sicily for you.
331
00:13:38,170 --> 00:13:39,693
I joined the US Army
332
00:13:39,693 --> 00:13:41,956
to protect your freedoms.
And what thanks do I get?
333
00:13:41,956 --> 00:13:43,740
You go celebrate
the 4th of July
334
00:13:43,740 --> 00:13:44,829
with some other family,
335
00:13:44,829 --> 00:13:46,004
leaving me
to burn the sparklers
336
00:13:46,004 --> 00:13:47,875
and eat the hot dogs alone!
337
00:13:47,875 --> 00:13:50,008
Alone! Thank you.
338
00:13:51,748 --> 00:13:53,185
This is incredible.
339
00:13:59,147 --> 00:14:01,019
Wait, what do you mean
you're not coming?
340
00:14:01,019 --> 00:14:03,325
I can't leave my father.
341
00:14:03,325 --> 00:14:05,762
The 4th of July was
their favorite holiday.
342
00:14:05,762 --> 00:14:07,590
Because of his
military background?
343
00:14:07,590 --> 00:14:10,376
No, it's the only holiday
you don't have to buy a gift.
344
00:14:10,376 --> 00:14:12,160
I'm sorry, Ellie.
345
00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:14,162
We'll just do it
some other time.
346
00:14:14,162 --> 00:14:15,424
Why don't
we just bring him?
347
00:14:15,424 --> 00:14:16,643
What happened?
348
00:14:16,643 --> 00:14:19,907
I mean, if he...
loves the 4th,
349
00:14:19,907 --> 00:14:21,822
he's gonna flip out
at our place.
350
00:14:21,822 --> 00:14:24,651
There's all
kinds of fun
family activities.
351
00:14:24,651 --> 00:14:27,001
There's fireworks.
There's even a huge clambake
352
00:14:27,001 --> 00:14:28,873
with tons of fresh fish.
353
00:14:28,873 --> 00:14:30,309
He loves to de-bone fish.
354
00:14:31,179 --> 00:14:32,137
Kind of perfect.
355
00:14:33,573 --> 00:14:36,097
My father
getting a close-up look
356
00:14:36,097 --> 00:14:37,446
at my new life,
357
00:14:37,446 --> 00:14:39,318
while I was trying
to seal the deal
358
00:14:39,318 --> 00:14:41,189
with Ellie's parents?
359
00:14:41,189 --> 00:14:43,322
What an incredible idea!
360
00:14:43,322 --> 00:14:44,627
Nah, I don't think so.
361
00:14:44,627 --> 00:14:46,368
I should probably
just stay here with him.
362
00:14:46,368 --> 00:14:47,674
Boo!
363
00:14:48,457 --> 00:14:50,720
Come on.
364
00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:53,375
Don't you want
our families
to finally meet?
365
00:14:53,375 --> 00:14:55,203
Yeah, of course I do.
366
00:14:56,552 --> 00:14:58,163
Why is your voice
going up like that?
367
00:14:58,163 --> 00:14:59,294
What's going on?
368
00:14:59,860 --> 00:15:00,905
Are you...
369
00:15:02,254 --> 00:15:04,430
Are you nervous
to bring him?
370
00:15:04,430 --> 00:15:06,301
Ner... No.
371
00:15:06,301 --> 00:15:08,347
No. What? No, no.
372
00:15:08,347 --> 00:15:09,609
All right, fine.
373
00:15:10,349 --> 00:15:11,567
Don't bring him.
374
00:15:11,567 --> 00:15:12,699
Don't come.
375
00:15:14,396 --> 00:15:16,921
Don't have fun.
It's fine.
376
00:15:16,921 --> 00:15:18,879
All right,
maybe I was a little scared
377
00:15:18,879 --> 00:15:21,577
to bring my father
into a country club environment,
378
00:15:21,577 --> 00:15:24,189
where he'd see me playing
racquet sports,
379
00:15:24,189 --> 00:15:27,888
riding around in golf carts,
and taking naps.
380
00:15:27,888 --> 00:15:30,673
But I also knew
that stubborn bastard wouldn't
381
00:15:30,673 --> 00:15:33,415
give me the ring without
a face-to-face meeting.
382
00:15:34,373 --> 00:15:36,418
Fine. You win.
I'll ask him.
383
00:15:38,246 --> 00:15:40,292
Hey, don't get
all excited, all right?
384
00:15:40,292 --> 00:15:43,034
This guy's big on tradition.
I doubt he'll even say yes.
385
00:15:43,034 --> 00:15:44,470
Shit, yeah. I'm coming.
386
00:15:44,470 --> 00:15:46,080
No, wait, wait,
wait. Seriously?
387
00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:47,603
Of course, I'm coming.
What are we gonna
do instead?
388
00:15:47,603 --> 00:15:48,735
Spend the whole
weekend alone,
389
00:15:48,735 --> 00:15:49,823
just the two of us
in the house,
390
00:15:49,823 --> 00:15:51,042
burning the sparklers
391
00:15:51,042 --> 00:15:53,087
and eating the hotdogs?
Yeah, I'm coming.
392
00:15:53,087 --> 00:15:54,436
That's the same
example you used
393
00:15:54,436 --> 00:15:55,872
to guilt trip me
into not going.
394
00:15:55,872 --> 00:15:57,570
Well, what can I say.
I got a way with words.
395
00:15:57,570 --> 00:15:59,006
You know me.
396
00:15:59,006 --> 00:16:00,094
All right, listen.
If we're gonna do this, Dad,
397
00:16:00,094 --> 00:16:01,443
you gotta be
on your best behavior.
398
00:16:01,443 --> 00:16:03,097
Wha... What do you mean,
my best behavior?
399
00:16:03,097 --> 00:16:04,969
The family is uptight,
400
00:16:04,969 --> 00:16:06,361
they're conservative,
they're not used to...
401
00:16:06,361 --> 00:16:07,667
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
402
00:16:07,667 --> 00:16:10,061
So, you, the son, are
telling me, the father,
403
00:16:10,061 --> 00:16:11,062
how to behave?
404
00:16:11,758 --> 00:16:13,412
You hear this?
405
00:16:13,412 --> 00:16:15,240
Just remember the main goal
is for you to meet the family,
406
00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:17,372
so I can get the ring
and propose to Ellie.
407
00:16:17,372 --> 00:16:18,504
It's not for you
to price check
408
00:16:18,504 --> 00:16:19,722
their antique coffee tables.
409
00:16:19,722 --> 00:16:21,202
Come on, already!
I mean, how fancy
410
00:16:21,202 --> 00:16:22,508
could a stupid
coffee table be?
411
00:16:22,508 --> 00:16:24,205
I mean, seriously,
how much we talking?
412
00:16:24,205 --> 00:16:26,425
I don't know, Dad.
413
00:16:26,425 --> 00:16:28,775
I'm kidding you. Mannaggia.
Where's
your sense of humor?
414
00:16:28,775 --> 00:16:29,819
- Jeez. Come on.
- All I'm asking is
415
00:16:29,819 --> 00:16:31,299
dial it down with the...
416
00:16:31,299 --> 00:16:32,387
What, all the...
417
00:16:32,387 --> 00:16:33,606
This is...
What is this?
418
00:16:33,606 --> 00:16:35,129
Look at him.
Look at him.
419
00:16:35,129 --> 00:16:36,304
Dial it down
with all this
and that.
420
00:16:36,304 --> 00:16:37,392
You know what
he's worried about?
421
00:16:37,392 --> 00:16:38,698
He's worried
422
00:16:38,698 --> 00:16:40,134
his immigrant father's
gonna make him look
423
00:16:40,134 --> 00:16:41,788
like some kind
of goombah.
424
00:16:41,788 --> 00:16:43,181
Let me tell you something.
425
00:16:43,181 --> 00:16:44,834
You don't remember
this because I'm your dad
426
00:16:44,834 --> 00:16:46,662
but a lot of people
find me charming,
427
00:16:46,662 --> 00:16:48,055
pretty charming,
that's right. Right.
428
00:16:48,055 --> 00:16:49,361
- Right, ladies?
Yeah.
429
00:16:49,361 --> 00:16:51,624
And these
stuck-up rich people?
430
00:16:51,624 --> 00:16:52,842
They got a word for me...
431
00:16:52,842 --> 00:16:55,106
I remember, it's loud,
it's obnoxious,
432
00:16:55,106 --> 00:16:56,498
it's over-cologned.
433
00:16:56,498 --> 00:16:58,413
No, no. "Refreshing."
434
00:16:58,413 --> 00:17:00,328
"He's refreshing."
"He's so original."
435
00:17:00,328 --> 00:17:02,635
I've heard that all...
All the time I hear that.
436
00:17:02,635 --> 00:17:05,290
And I promise you
Ellie's parents
are gonna love me.
437
00:17:05,290 --> 00:17:06,900
I don't know about
you, but they're going
to love me.
438
00:17:06,900 --> 00:17:08,380
- Mm-hmm.
- Ladies,
you better get
439
00:17:08,380 --> 00:17:09,903
your 'dos done
by Thursday
440
00:17:09,903 --> 00:17:12,079
'cause the Maniscalco men,
they're going on vacation.
441
00:17:13,994 --> 00:17:15,517
He's worried.
442
00:17:15,517 --> 00:17:17,563
This kid is
worried. I'm not.
443
00:17:35,711 --> 00:17:37,148
What the hell
are you doing?
444
00:17:37,148 --> 00:17:38,975
- You can't smoke here.
- What? I'm outside.
445
00:17:38,975 --> 00:17:40,064
Next to an airplane!
446
00:17:40,064 --> 00:17:42,153
- Oh, sorry!
That's okay.
447
00:17:42,153 --> 00:17:44,764
Mannaggia.
Can't even
smoke a cigar.
448
00:17:44,764 --> 00:17:46,418
I got some
good news.
449
00:17:46,418 --> 00:17:47,984
I got us
a luxury sedan
450
00:17:47,984 --> 00:17:49,943
for the price
of a compact.
451
00:17:49,943 --> 00:17:51,510
That's nice,
but makes
me wonder
452
00:17:51,510 --> 00:17:53,468
how much the compact
you could've got for.
453
00:17:53,468 --> 00:17:55,731
Then I took
the compact price
454
00:17:55,731 --> 00:17:57,385
and got it
on the house!
455
00:17:57,385 --> 00:17:59,300
- Hey!
- Hey! Nice!
456
00:17:59,300 --> 00:18:01,476
- Baby, the bags.
- Yeah. How long does
it take to get there?
457
00:18:01,476 --> 00:18:03,348
Um, like, three hours.
458
00:18:03,348 --> 00:18:04,914
Hey, you guys
looking for a ride?
459
00:18:05,828 --> 00:18:07,482
Oh, my God.
460
00:18:07,482 --> 00:18:08,831
Lucky!
461
00:18:08,831 --> 00:18:10,442
Oh, no.
462
00:18:10,442 --> 00:18:12,096
Who's that,
an ex-boyfriend?
463
00:18:12,096 --> 00:18:13,575
Worse. Brother.
464
00:18:13,575 --> 00:18:15,099
Hey!
465
00:18:17,057 --> 00:18:20,016
While I'd made
progress with Ellie's parents,
466
00:18:20,016 --> 00:18:23,150
I'd yet to make any
with the older brother.
467
00:18:23,150 --> 00:18:26,197
His name was
William Love Collins XIII.
468
00:18:26,197 --> 00:18:28,677
So, everybody called
this guy "Lucky."
469
00:18:28,677 --> 00:18:30,201
And that's exactly
470
00:18:30,201 --> 00:18:31,463
what he was.
Chug, chug, chug,
471
00:18:31,463 --> 00:18:32,638
Whoo!
472
00:18:32,638 --> 00:18:34,074
Oh, my God!
473
00:18:34,074 --> 00:18:35,684
After graduating
from Princeton,
474
00:18:35,684 --> 00:18:38,122
back when you could
bribe your kid into college,
475
00:18:38,122 --> 00:18:40,515
Lucky was on deck
to take over the Hotel Group
476
00:18:40,515 --> 00:18:42,778
while working
as a "Client Liaison."
477
00:18:42,778 --> 00:18:46,260
Gentlemen! Who's ready to go
hunt some endangered species?
478
00:18:46,260 --> 00:18:47,957
I'm just kidding.
Unless you guys
are down,
479
00:18:47,957 --> 00:18:49,524
I can figure
something out.
480
00:18:49,524 --> 00:18:51,091
This meant
traveling around the world,
481
00:18:51,091 --> 00:18:52,832
entertaining wealthy clients
482
00:18:52,832 --> 00:18:54,225
with all the rich kid hobbies
483
00:18:54,225 --> 00:18:56,357
he had time to master.
Whoo!
484
00:18:56,357 --> 00:18:57,489
We're talking skiing...
485
00:18:57,489 --> 00:19:00,144
Whoo! Snowboarding sucks!
486
00:19:00,144 --> 00:19:02,363
...y achting.
487
00:19:02,363 --> 00:19:04,583
...all the country club sports.
488
00:19:04,583 --> 00:19:07,151
Whoo! Looks like
I gotta change
my shoes,
489
00:19:07,151 --> 00:19:09,675
'cause I'm on
the dance floor. What!
490
00:19:11,633 --> 00:19:14,288
But I'd say
his overall best skill
491
00:19:14,288 --> 00:19:16,421
was being a prick.
492
00:19:16,421 --> 00:19:17,900
There he is.
493
00:19:17,900 --> 00:19:19,511
I see you're still
banging the bellboy.
494
00:19:19,511 --> 00:19:21,034
Luck! No!
Hey!
495
00:19:21,034 --> 00:19:22,688
I'm only joking,
Sea Bass.
496
00:19:23,993 --> 00:19:25,778
Hey, what's up,
Luck?[IN ENGLISH] Not much.
497
00:19:25,778 --> 00:19:27,171
You must be
Sebastian's brother.
498
00:19:27,171 --> 00:19:28,998
Hey. No, I'm
his father. Salvo.
How are you?
499
00:19:28,998 --> 00:19:30,522
No way! Seriously?
500
00:19:30,522 --> 00:19:32,088
That's crazy.
I can't tell the age
501
00:19:32,088 --> 00:19:33,481
of anybody over 40.
502
00:19:33,481 --> 00:19:35,788
Anyway. Oh, let me
503
00:19:35,788 --> 00:19:37,920
goose you guys
some free samps.
504
00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:39,139
I'm an angel investor
505
00:19:39,139 --> 00:19:41,881
in this new anti-aging
skin cream for men
506
00:19:41,881 --> 00:19:43,665
and I'm obvi a client.
507
00:19:43,665 --> 00:19:45,667
This guy.
508
00:19:45,667 --> 00:19:46,755
You boys ready to saddle up?
509
00:19:46,755 --> 00:19:48,148
Let's go!
510
00:19:48,148 --> 00:19:50,237
Oh, chopper time!
511
00:19:50,237 --> 00:19:52,239
El... El, I don't
think this is such
a good idea.
512
00:19:52,239 --> 00:19:53,719
Yeah, we got
a free car,
you know.
513
00:19:53,719 --> 00:19:55,503
Guys, come on!
514
00:19:55,503 --> 00:19:58,376
Trust me, the helicopter
takes 20 minutes,
515
00:19:58,376 --> 00:20:01,335
and the views
are magical.
516
00:20:01,335 --> 00:20:03,032
Are you with me?
517
00:20:03,032 --> 00:20:06,035
Come on! Let's
have some fun!
518
00:20:06,035 --> 00:20:08,212
[ON RADIO] Lucky,
you are cleared for takeoff.
519
00:20:08,212 --> 00:20:09,909
Roger that, Roger.
520
00:20:09,909 --> 00:20:11,693
Dude's name is Roger. We hang.
521
00:20:11,693 --> 00:20:13,260
Got a super-hot wife.
522
00:20:16,002 --> 00:20:17,177
Hey, if you guys
look out to your left,
523
00:20:17,177 --> 00:20:19,484
you'll see the beautiful
Roanoke River.
524
00:20:20,136 --> 00:20:21,181
Baby, look.
525
00:20:23,227 --> 00:20:24,271
Salvo, it's nice, right?
526
00:20:24,271 --> 00:20:25,751
Yeah. Yeah,
yeah, it's nice.
527
00:20:25,751 --> 00:20:26,969
Reminds me of 'Nam.
528
00:20:33,933 --> 00:20:35,935
- Huh?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
It's good.
529
00:20:35,935 --> 00:20:37,415
- Okay. Okay.
- I'm fine.
530
00:20:39,373 --> 00:20:40,853
- Oh, yeah.
- Sorry. Sorry.
531
00:20:40,853 --> 00:20:42,071
I got it. I got it.
532
00:20:43,421 --> 00:20:45,771
Had a couple
too many G and Ts.
533
00:20:45,771 --> 00:20:47,425
- He's kidding. He's kidding.
Yeah, yeah.
534
00:20:49,035 --> 00:20:50,863
- The air don't work.
No, it does.
535
00:20:50,863 --> 00:20:52,647
It works, it works.
536
00:20:52,647 --> 00:20:54,649
It's okay.
Only a couple of minutes.
537
00:20:54,649 --> 00:20:56,738
It's just
- a little warm, Dad.
- Son, it's...
538
00:20:56,738 --> 00:20:58,697
I think we got a problem here.
539
00:20:58,697 --> 00:21:00,046
- What?
- We got
a problem here.
540
00:21:00,046 --> 00:21:01,613
Oh, my God! Baby!
541
00:21:01,613 --> 00:21:02,962
- Yeah, I can't breathe.
- Wait, wait, wait.
542
00:21:02,962 --> 00:21:04,616
Take a bite out of the lemon.
543
00:21:04,616 --> 00:21:05,834
It'll help with
the nausea.
I'm not doing a whole lemon.
544
00:21:05,834 --> 00:21:06,922
I'll cut it.
I'll cut it.
Don't worry.
545
00:21:06,922 --> 00:21:08,141
Hey.
546
00:21:08,141 --> 00:21:09,316
I'll cut it
into pieces.
Hold on.
547
00:21:09,316 --> 00:21:10,839
I got a knife.
548
00:21:10,839 --> 00:21:12,145
He's got a knife.
Oh, my God.
549
00:21:12,145 --> 00:21:13,668
- He's got a knife.
- I'm cutting the lemon.
550
00:21:13,668 --> 00:21:15,583
Okay, here.
Take it. Take it.
Baby, suck it.
551
00:21:15,583 --> 00:21:18,064
- Suck on that.
Suck on
that lemon. Suck.
552
00:21:18,064 --> 00:21:20,284
Just suck!
Suck, suck, suck!
553
00:21:20,284 --> 00:21:22,242
Sounds like
- my Saturday night.
Suck!
554
00:21:22,242 --> 00:21:24,070
Dude.
Do not vom in my bird.
555
00:21:24,070 --> 00:21:25,201
He's not gonna vom
in your bird.
556
00:21:25,201 --> 00:21:26,725
Just breathe
in through the nose,
557
00:21:26,725 --> 00:21:28,030
- out through the mouth.
Suck on that.
558
00:21:28,030 --> 00:21:30,250
- It's making it worse.
- Suck it!
559
00:21:30,250 --> 00:21:31,382
Cradle the balls.
Suck on that!
560
00:21:31,382 --> 00:21:32,644
You just suck!
Just suck it.
561
00:21:32,644 --> 00:21:35,124
- Suck the lemon!
Take it easy, kid.
562
00:21:35,124 --> 00:21:36,735
I think we should
turn around.
He's freaking out.
563
00:21:36,735 --> 00:21:37,997
It's like 19 more minutes.
564
00:21:37,997 --> 00:21:39,694
You can't tough
it out for 19...It stinks!
565
00:21:39,694 --> 00:21:41,914
Let's bring it down.
Let's bring it... Open up the windows!
566
00:21:41,914 --> 00:21:43,394
I'm gonna die!
567
00:21:43,394 --> 00:21:44,482
Put the air conditioning
- down there.
- Bring it down.
568
00:21:44,482 --> 00:21:45,831
- How are you so calm?
Roger,
569
00:21:45,831 --> 00:21:47,659
- we're coming back.
- I'm dying!
Put it down!
570
00:21:47,659 --> 00:21:49,530
Put it down! Ah!
571
00:21:56,624 --> 00:21:59,192
I knew I should've
forced him
to join the army.
572
00:21:59,192 --> 00:22:01,673
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Laugh it up.
573
00:22:01,673 --> 00:22:02,761
Laugh it up, guys.
574
00:22:02,761 --> 00:22:04,806
I'm just happy
I'm on the ground.
575
00:22:07,069 --> 00:22:10,334
Okay, gentlemen.
Welcome to White Oak.
576
00:22:11,683 --> 00:22:13,249
- Wow!
- Right?
577
00:22:13,249 --> 00:22:14,425
Ah, boy.
578
00:22:14,425 --> 00:22:16,949
Um, okay, so, that's
the golf course,
579
00:22:16,949 --> 00:22:21,345
and then
the tennis courts are
back down there.
580
00:22:21,345 --> 00:22:24,173
Oh, baby, look. Right there?
That's my childhood fort.
581
00:22:24,173 --> 00:22:25,566
Oh.
We'd go there.
582
00:22:25,566 --> 00:22:26,567
whenever I needed
to get away from my family.
583
00:22:26,567 --> 00:22:28,352
So, basically, all the time.
584
00:22:28,352 --> 00:22:29,831
Yeah, I wish
I had one.
585
00:22:29,831 --> 00:22:32,791
Oh, look!
586
00:22:32,791 --> 00:22:36,795
Oh, my God! It's
Sergeant Feathers
and his family!
587
00:22:36,795 --> 00:22:38,840
What is this?
- Oh, my God!
588
00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:40,712
What are you doing?
589
00:22:40,712 --> 00:22:42,278
- What up, dudes?
What are you...
Is this safe?
590
00:22:42,278 --> 00:22:43,628
Yeah, no, she's crazy.
591
00:22:43,628 --> 00:22:46,065
What's that? What are
you doing? Be careful.
592
00:22:46,065 --> 00:22:47,414
Get back in the car!
593
00:22:47,414 --> 00:22:49,373
They're gonna eat you alive!
594
00:22:49,373 --> 00:22:50,591
- Oh, my God!
- Aren't they
the best?
595
00:22:50,591 --> 00:22:51,679
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
596
00:22:51,679 --> 00:22:53,246
They're
so beautiful!
597
00:22:53,246 --> 00:22:54,987
So how much
a peacock cost anyway?
598
00:22:54,987 --> 00:22:56,510
Don't answer that, El.
599
00:22:56,510 --> 00:22:58,643
I didn't know they had
peacocks in Virginia.
600
00:22:58,643 --> 00:23:01,820
Oh, well,
my grandfather brought
two here decades ago,
601
00:23:01,820 --> 00:23:03,212
but they didn't
like their cages,
602
00:23:03,212 --> 00:23:04,736
so he decided
to let them roam free.
603
00:23:04,736 --> 00:23:06,085
And now, they've
pretty much just become
604
00:23:06,085 --> 00:23:08,043
the official mascots
of our club.
605
00:23:08,043 --> 00:23:09,741
Well, they're bad luck
where I come from.
606
00:23:09,741 --> 00:23:11,656
They're just a bunch
of goddamn showoffs,
607
00:23:11,656 --> 00:23:13,614
if you ask me.
I don't like them.
608
00:23:13,614 --> 00:23:14,833
They're lucky
to be born that way.
609
00:23:14,833 --> 00:23:15,877
They could've been
born like a chicken,
610
00:23:15,877 --> 00:23:17,096
or a pigeon.
611
00:23:17,096 --> 00:23:18,706
I mean, it just has
fancy feathers,
612
00:23:18,706 --> 00:23:20,578
so all of a sudden,
it gets more respect.
613
00:23:20,578 --> 00:23:23,711
Okay, guys.
614
00:23:23,711 --> 00:23:25,757
We're here.
Welcome to our house.
615
00:23:27,498 --> 00:23:30,936
Look at this!
Are you kidding me?
616
00:23:30,936 --> 00:23:32,285
How much
a house like this cost?
617
00:23:32,285 --> 00:23:34,853
Enough
with the Price is Right!
618
00:23:34,853 --> 00:23:36,942
He's the Bob Barker
of the backseat.
619
00:23:38,509 --> 00:23:41,207
Oh, my little
cuddle monkey!
Hey! Hi!
620
00:23:41,207 --> 00:23:42,600
Hi.
621
00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:44,602
- Oh, my girl.
Oh!
622
00:23:44,602 --> 00:23:46,647
- Oh, what a beauty!
- Ellie-Bellie!
623
00:23:46,647 --> 00:23:48,388
You know,
looking back at this,
624
00:23:48,388 --> 00:23:50,434
my dad had to be overwhelmed.
625
00:23:50,434 --> 00:23:52,044
Family's a little
handsy, huh?
626
00:23:52,044 --> 00:23:54,220
It's called
love and
affection, Dad.
627
00:23:54,220 --> 00:23:55,961
Unlike you,
when you met me
in the delivery room
628
00:23:55,961 --> 00:23:57,397
and chose
to shake
my hand.
629
00:23:57,397 --> 00:23:59,443
What else was I
supposed to do?
We just met.
630
00:23:59,443 --> 00:24:01,314
Huh?
631
00:24:01,314 --> 00:24:02,402
Guys,
come on. I want
you to meet
632
00:24:02,402 --> 00:24:04,056
Sebastian's father.
633
00:24:04,056 --> 00:24:05,187
- Hey, Sebastian.
- Hi.
634
00:24:05,187 --> 00:24:06,580
Nice to see you.
635
00:24:06,580 --> 00:24:07,668
- Pleasure. Welcome.
Nice
to meet you.
636
00:24:07,668 --> 00:24:09,061
Sebastian,
so good
to see you.
637
00:24:10,323 --> 00:24:14,066
And you must be
the charming Salvo.
638
00:24:14,066 --> 00:24:16,764
So nice to
finally meet you
in person, Tigger.
639
00:24:16,764 --> 00:24:18,287
It's just last week
I was checking out
640
00:24:18,287 --> 00:24:20,202
your highlights
on TV.
641
00:24:20,202 --> 00:24:22,378
Oh, the CNN
or the Fox ones?
642
00:24:22,378 --> 00:24:23,815
No, no,
the blonde ones.
643
00:24:23,815 --> 00:24:25,381
You hair,
if I can say, is
644
00:24:25,381 --> 00:24:26,731
just like
a block
of marble.
645
00:24:26,731 --> 00:24:28,384
I wanna sink
my tools into it.
646
00:24:28,384 --> 00:24:29,908
Dad, Dad,
Dad, what are
you doing?
647
00:24:29,908 --> 00:24:31,431
Sorry, I mean, it's... You're gonna hit her.
648
00:24:31,431 --> 00:24:33,520
Well, Salvo, we've
heard you're quite
the stylist.
649
00:24:33,520 --> 00:24:34,782
Now, tell me this,
650
00:24:34,782 --> 00:24:36,175
do you think
I'm too old
to pull off
651
00:24:36,175 --> 00:24:37,350
a set of
frosted tips?
652
00:24:41,049 --> 00:24:42,442
"Frosted tips?"
653
00:24:42,442 --> 00:24:44,749
Good one, sir! Solid gold!
654
00:24:44,749 --> 00:24:46,228
All right,
I'm gonna
hit the links.
655
00:24:46,228 --> 00:24:47,447
Have fun!
Hasta luego!
656
00:24:47,447 --> 00:24:49,493
So, uh, why
don't you
come inside,
657
00:24:49,493 --> 00:24:51,146
and we'll
give you
the grand tour.
658
00:24:51,146 --> 00:24:52,626
Don't worry
about the bags.
659
00:24:52,626 --> 00:24:54,498
Wendell will
take care
of them.
660
00:24:54,498 --> 00:24:55,803
Mommy...
661
00:24:55,803 --> 00:24:57,109
That's
a pretty big dog
you got there.
662
00:24:57,109 --> 00:24:59,067
Oh, that's Duke.
663
00:24:59,067 --> 00:25:00,329
We don't get too rough
with him, 'cause we're
afraid he'll kill us.
664
00:25:00,329 --> 00:25:01,896
He's so big!
665
00:25:01,896 --> 00:25:03,115
Dad!
This is our house.
666
00:25:03,115 --> 00:25:04,508
Wow!
Yes.
667
00:25:04,508 --> 00:25:05,944
It's unbelievable.
It's so big.
668
00:25:05,944 --> 00:25:07,293
Oh, this is
669
00:25:07,293 --> 00:25:10,252
our youngest son, Doug.
670
00:25:10,252 --> 00:25:11,515
He's practicing... ELLIE: Hi!
671
00:25:11,515 --> 00:25:13,255
...his sound bowls.
672
00:25:13,255 --> 00:25:15,344
Oh, yeah... Sound bowls?
What is that?
673
00:25:15,344 --> 00:25:17,172
Oh, well, now,
a sound bowl is...
674
00:25:17,172 --> 00:25:18,609
It's, actually,
it's an instrument.
675
00:25:18,609 --> 00:25:20,915
It puts out
this vibration
676
00:25:20,915 --> 00:25:23,744
that relieves stress
and promotes relaxation.
677
00:25:23,744 --> 00:25:26,181
He's...
he's learning
to be a healer.
678
00:25:27,618 --> 00:25:29,620
Uh, but we're
just so proud
of him.
679
00:25:29,620 --> 00:25:30,969
You're so loud, Dad.
680
00:25:30,969 --> 00:25:32,492
- Oh, sorry.
- Oh, sorry, sorry.
681
00:25:32,492 --> 00:25:34,799
Let me just...
Sorry. No, I'm
gonna close the...
682
00:25:34,799 --> 00:25:36,148
Play, boy, play.
683
00:25:36,148 --> 00:25:39,020
Play to soothe
the savage beast.
684
00:25:39,020 --> 00:25:40,718
Well, you don't have
to shut 'em.
685
00:25:42,067 --> 00:25:44,896
Wow! This house
is amazing!
686
00:25:44,896 --> 00:25:46,724
- Look at this!
This is nothing.
687
00:25:46,724 --> 00:25:48,247
You should see
the place in Aspen.
688
00:25:48,247 --> 00:25:50,902
Well, it's just,
you know...
689
00:25:50,902 --> 00:25:53,774
- Yeah.
- I love this
cocktail table.
690
00:25:53,774 --> 00:25:56,298
Oh, Sebastian!
691
00:25:56,298 --> 00:25:58,344
Good eye!
692
00:25:58,344 --> 00:26:01,695
The first
commercial coal mine
in the country was
693
00:26:01,695 --> 00:26:03,001
right down
the road
from here,
694
00:26:03,001 --> 00:26:06,004
and this piece is
made out
of the wood
695
00:26:06,004 --> 00:26:08,659
from one
of the original
mine cars.
696
00:26:08,659 --> 00:26:11,400
Drenched
- in history.
- Drenched.
697
00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:13,141
Good for you,
re-using old wood
like that.
698
00:26:13,141 --> 00:26:14,665
Yes.
- This guy always
gets on me
699
00:26:14,665 --> 00:26:16,405
about picking up
trash and putting
it in the house.
700
00:26:16,405 --> 00:26:18,103
Trash?
701
00:26:18,103 --> 00:26:19,670
It's crazy, the stuff
that people throw
away these days.
702
00:26:19,670 --> 00:26:21,410
It sure beats
paying for it,
I mean, right?
703
00:26:21,410 --> 00:26:23,543
- So, I... I take it.
- Right.
704
00:26:23,543 --> 00:26:25,980
Yes. Yes.
That is
705
00:26:25,980 --> 00:26:27,547
- so true.
- Yeah.
706
00:26:27,547 --> 00:26:30,289
Um, actually,
though, we did
pay for this one.
707
00:26:30,289 --> 00:26:32,378
A king's ransom,
708
00:26:32,378 --> 00:26:35,337
if I must say,
but at least
it's too rickety
709
00:26:35,337 --> 00:26:37,035
to put drinks on.
710
00:26:37,035 --> 00:26:38,558
Dad, that's
the worst.
711
00:26:38,558 --> 00:26:41,300
No, no, we just,
we wanted something
712
00:26:41,300 --> 00:26:44,042
that matched
the art
in the room.
713
00:26:44,042 --> 00:26:45,260
Oh, good for you,
714
00:26:45,260 --> 00:26:47,306
hanging up
your kids'
art work like that.
715
00:26:47,306 --> 00:26:53,268
No, these are
original Grandma Moseses.
716
00:26:53,268 --> 00:26:54,400
Can you
believe it?
I'm... I'm sorry.
717
00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:55,749
We
found them...
I'm sorry.
718
00:26:55,749 --> 00:26:57,708
What?
- I'm sorry.
I mean, I...
719
00:26:57,708 --> 00:26:59,318
I didn't mean
to insult your grandmother.
720
00:26:59,318 --> 00:27:01,581
I meant
no disrespect.
I had no idea.
721
00:27:01,581 --> 00:27:03,061
I mean, what was
the matter with her?
722
00:27:03,061 --> 00:27:04,889
Was she a little...
723
00:27:04,889 --> 00:27:05,977
Oh, my God.
724
00:27:05,977 --> 00:27:07,543
Hey, who's hungry
for lunch?
725
00:27:07,543 --> 00:27:09,067
- I am.
Me, me, me!
726
00:27:09,067 --> 00:27:10,851
We could all go
down to The Shack.
727
00:27:10,851 --> 00:27:12,592
Oh, Salvo,
- you're gonna love The Shack!
- What a great idea!
728
00:27:25,474 --> 00:27:26,562
It's me.
729
00:27:28,739 --> 00:27:31,132
Wow, this club
is huge, Bill.
730
00:27:31,132 --> 00:27:32,394
The way
you were
describing it,
731
00:27:32,394 --> 00:27:34,440
I expected
a place where
they're serving
732
00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:36,529
grilled cheese
out of a little
window, you know.
733
00:27:36,529 --> 00:27:39,488
Yes, I suppose
they've fixed it up
over the years.
734
00:27:39,488 --> 00:27:41,577
But to us
it will
always be...
735
00:27:41,577 --> 00:27:43,275
The Shack.
736
00:27:43,275 --> 00:27:45,190
This place was
built by slaves.
737
00:27:45,190 --> 00:27:46,713
Douglass.
738
00:27:46,713 --> 00:27:49,020
What, I'm not allowed
to tell the truth now?
739
00:27:49,020 --> 00:27:50,717
How are we supposed
to confront our problems
740
00:27:50,717 --> 00:27:52,893
if we don't
talk about it, Dad?
741
00:27:52,893 --> 00:27:54,503
No, it's true.
It's true.
742
00:27:54,503 --> 00:27:57,202
The... Some
of the history
down here is
743
00:27:57,202 --> 00:27:58,377
just...
it's brutal.
744
00:27:58,377 --> 00:28:00,596
- Mmm.
- It's just unthinkable.
745
00:28:02,729 --> 00:28:04,426
It's not on the menu,
but you can order
746
00:28:04,426 --> 00:28:06,428
the club sandwich
with lobster.
747
00:28:06,428 --> 00:28:08,300
You know, I can't
even bring
my girlfriend here
748
00:28:08,300 --> 00:28:09,562
because
I'm ashamed.
749
00:28:11,303 --> 00:28:12,826
She's
an African person.
750
00:28:12,826 --> 00:28:16,482
She is a person
emailing you from Africa,
751
00:28:16,482 --> 00:28:18,963
and to whom
you are sending
back money.
752
00:28:18,963 --> 00:28:20,399
We have
yet to confirm
753
00:28:20,399 --> 00:28:22,880
whether she's
a girl or a friend.
754
00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:24,925
Keep me safe
from negative energy.
755
00:28:24,925 --> 00:28:27,014
Hi, everyone. Welcome
to White Oak.
756
00:28:27,014 --> 00:28:29,930
What can
- I get you guys?
- Oh, no bread, please.
757
00:28:29,930 --> 00:28:32,933
Um, do you have
those crackers?
The seedy ones?
758
00:28:32,933 --> 00:28:35,414
- Of course.
- Gloria, do you
have kombucha?
759
00:28:35,414 --> 00:28:38,025
- I can check.
- Does anyone
want in on this?
760
00:28:38,025 --> 00:28:39,940
Ever since I've
had kombucha,
761
00:28:39,940 --> 00:28:42,900
my BMs have been
- ...completely regular.
Oh. All right.
762
00:28:42,900 --> 00:28:45,293
- I've had no problems.
- All right.
Remember, Douglass,
763
00:28:45,293 --> 00:28:47,818
we don't talk about
- our BMs at the table.
- No.
764
00:28:47,818 --> 00:28:49,602
Before I was
drinking kombucha,
765
00:28:50,211 --> 00:28:51,952
my feces looked like
766
00:28:51,952 --> 00:28:53,998
ripped,
little pieces
of paper
767
00:28:53,998 --> 00:28:55,608
and then after
I started drinking,
768
00:28:55,608 --> 00:28:57,436
they're long,
soft logs.
769
00:28:57,436 --> 00:29:00,395
Well, all right.
Thank you for that.
770
00:29:00,395 --> 00:29:02,180
Um, do you know
what you want,
Sebastian?
771
00:29:02,180 --> 00:29:04,443
Just a...
772
00:29:04,443 --> 00:29:06,750
- the Cobb salad.
Good choice.
773
00:29:06,750 --> 00:29:08,490
What are you, one
of my sorority sisters?
774
00:29:08,490 --> 00:29:10,754
Is that all
you're gonna get?
775
00:29:10,754 --> 00:29:12,277
You're not
gonna get
a starter?
776
00:29:12,277 --> 00:29:14,105
Yeah, uh,
I'm just gonna
777
00:29:14,105 --> 00:29:15,410
stick with the middle
of the menu.
778
00:29:15,410 --> 00:29:17,195
All right,
suit yourself.
779
00:29:17,195 --> 00:29:18,631
Salvo, what are
you gonna get?
780
00:29:18,631 --> 00:29:20,851
Gloria, I think
I'm gonna have the...
781
00:29:20,851 --> 00:29:22,940
the BLT with
the onion rings.
782
00:29:22,940 --> 00:29:24,985
But what's
the price
on that dish?
783
00:29:25,638 --> 00:29:26,857
Oh, no, we don't...
784
00:29:26,857 --> 00:29:31,165
Salvo, this may
sound very silly
785
00:29:31,165 --> 00:29:33,167
but we don't
like to put
prices on things,
786
00:29:33,167 --> 00:29:37,911
because it's just
an annoying reminder
of money. Right?
787
00:29:37,911 --> 00:29:39,695
Oh!
788
00:29:39,695 --> 00:29:41,436
So, everything's
for free, you mean?
789
00:29:41,436 --> 00:29:44,265
No. No, it is
not free.
790
00:29:44,265 --> 00:29:45,701
I wish it were.
791
00:29:45,701 --> 00:29:47,355
Nothing is free.
792
00:29:47,355 --> 00:29:49,575
So, what do they do?
I mean, they make up
a price, or...
793
00:29:49,575 --> 00:29:51,272
Oh, Dad, it's...
you know...
794
00:29:51,272 --> 00:29:52,534
Son, I'm talking
to Bill, here.
795
00:29:52,534 --> 00:29:53,797
Are you Bill?
Hello, Bill.
796
00:29:53,797 --> 00:29:55,233
It's fine.
797
00:29:55,233 --> 00:29:57,061
Everything has
- a set price.
- Mmm.
798
00:29:57,061 --> 00:29:59,454
And then they just
tally it up at the
end of the week,
799
00:29:59,454 --> 00:30:01,717
put it on my bill,
and it's
taken care of.
800
00:30:01,717 --> 00:30:03,241
Got it.
Okay, got it.
801
00:30:03,241 --> 00:30:04,764
Well, Gloria,
I would just
love to chat
802
00:30:04,764 --> 00:30:06,287
with somebody
who knows
the prices.
803
00:30:06,287 --> 00:30:07,680
Salvo, please.
804
00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:10,161
Please. It would
be our pleasure
to treat you.
805
00:30:10,161 --> 00:30:11,989
I would love that
and thank you, Tigger.
806
00:30:11,989 --> 00:30:14,643
But I think you do
way, way, way
too much, already.
807
00:30:14,643 --> 00:30:16,645
You're putting us
up in your home,
808
00:30:16,645 --> 00:30:19,083
that's enough already.
We want to at least,
you know, pay for the meal.
809
00:30:19,083 --> 00:30:20,780
- It's not a big deal.
- I know it's not
a big deal.
810
00:30:20,780 --> 00:30:22,129
Don't make
a big deal out
of it. It's all right.
811
00:30:22,129 --> 00:30:23,609
Don't worry
about it.
It's okay.
812
00:30:23,609 --> 00:30:25,741
So, Gloria,
just do me
a favor,
813
00:30:25,741 --> 00:30:27,221
find out how much
it is for the BLT.
814
00:30:27,221 --> 00:30:29,658
What did
you get again?
Just the Cobb salad.
815
00:30:29,658 --> 00:30:31,095
- Cobb salad.
Please. Please,
816
00:30:31,095 --> 00:30:32,574
No, we'll take
care of it.
Just let us pay.
817
00:30:32,574 --> 00:30:33,967
It will be
so much easier...
Just let them pay.
818
00:30:33,967 --> 00:30:35,708
...if you just
let them pay.
I can't let you.
819
00:30:35,708 --> 00:30:38,363
- ...taken care of it.
- Dad, let them pay.
820
00:30:38,363 --> 00:30:40,060
- Please let them pay.
- Just let us pay.
821
00:30:40,060 --> 00:30:41,975
- I can't let you pay.
It's so easy.
822
00:30:46,632 --> 00:30:48,764
I don't know
what you're
so upset about.
823
00:30:48,764 --> 00:30:50,810
I mean, I'm
a working guy.
824
00:30:50,810 --> 00:30:52,072
I like to pay
my own way.
825
00:30:52,072 --> 00:30:53,421
I don't want
to owe anybody anything.
826
00:30:53,421 --> 00:30:55,032
I'm upset because
you're supposed
827
00:30:55,032 --> 00:30:56,685
to be getting
to know Ellie's family.
828
00:30:56,685 --> 00:30:58,557
And instead,
you made a big scene.
829
00:30:58,557 --> 00:31:00,602
So what? Who cares?
These people are strange.
830
00:31:00,602 --> 00:31:01,908
Yeah, you think
they are.
831
00:31:01,908 --> 00:31:03,910
They are strange.
Are you kidding me?
832
00:31:03,910 --> 00:31:05,825
They wanna take
a break from thinking
about money.
833
00:31:05,825 --> 00:31:07,305
Where I come from,
that's called dying.
834
00:31:07,305 --> 00:31:09,002
All right, that's...
835
00:31:09,002 --> 00:31:11,265
It's a different life.
836
00:31:11,265 --> 00:31:12,571
But you still
gotta try.
837
00:31:13,180 --> 00:31:14,529
Try...
838
00:31:14,529 --> 00:31:16,096
I just don't
know, Sebastian,
I got to tell you.
839
00:31:16,096 --> 00:31:18,011
I don't know
how you're
gonna fit in.
840
00:31:18,011 --> 00:31:19,708
It ain't normal. I mean,
your mother and me,
841
00:31:19,708 --> 00:31:21,319
we didn't
raise you
this way, so...
842
00:31:21,319 --> 00:31:23,277
Yeah, you raised me
to marry an Italian
843
00:31:23,277 --> 00:31:24,931
who shouts
when she's happy,
844
00:31:24,931 --> 00:31:26,454
and grows hair
in places I didn't
even know could grow.
845
00:31:26,454 --> 00:31:28,065
So what? That's
a real woman.
846
00:31:28,065 --> 00:31:29,588
Your mother was a real woman,
847
00:31:29,588 --> 00:31:31,285
who put real food
on the table,
848
00:31:31,285 --> 00:31:33,984
not somebody
who refuses
a bread basket.
849
00:31:33,984 --> 00:31:35,420
All right, Dad,
even I have to admit
850
00:31:35,420 --> 00:31:37,726
- the crackers were awful.
- It's like
eating birdseed.
851
00:31:37,726 --> 00:31:39,380
Yeah. I didn't know
whether to eat 'em
with my hands
852
00:31:39,380 --> 00:31:40,599
or just walk
around and...
853
00:31:44,255 --> 00:31:46,126
Exactly, and you notice
how they try to downplay
854
00:31:46,126 --> 00:31:47,432
how fancy it is?
855
00:31:47,432 --> 00:31:48,607
Oh, yeah."Excuse me?
856
00:31:48,607 --> 00:31:50,043
"I'm looking at this.
857
00:31:50,043 --> 00:31:52,263
"Excuse me.
I got eyes.
I can see. Hello."
858
00:31:52,263 --> 00:31:53,786
They walk around,
saying, "Oh, yes.
859
00:31:53,786 --> 00:31:56,136
"The house is
60,000 square feet,
860
00:31:56,136 --> 00:31:57,529
"with 13 bedrooms,
861
00:31:57,529 --> 00:31:59,923
"but we like it
because it's cozy."
862
00:31:59,923 --> 00:32:01,837
And then they do
the opposite
with the furniture.
863
00:32:01,837 --> 00:32:03,274
They make it sound
more important
864
00:32:03,274 --> 00:32:04,579
than it really is.
865
00:32:04,579 --> 00:32:06,451
It can't just be
like a regular chair.
866
00:32:06,451 --> 00:32:08,148
It's got to have like
a whole back story.
867
00:32:08,148 --> 00:32:09,367
- Oh, yeah.
- I mean, what...
868
00:32:09,367 --> 00:32:11,543
"This is the chair
Thomas Jefferson sat in
869
00:32:11,543 --> 00:32:13,849
"when he signed
the treaty of
Who-the-Hell-Cares?"
870
00:32:13,849 --> 00:32:16,461
"Well, the toilet is where
Abe Lincoln took a dump.
871
00:32:16,461 --> 00:32:17,984
"There's a plaque
right there."
872
00:32:17,984 --> 00:32:20,508
"Oh, do they got a place
for his hat in there, too?"
873
00:32:20,508 --> 00:32:21,857
I mean, I don't know
if I'm in a house
874
00:32:21,857 --> 00:32:23,163
or I'm in a museum.
875
00:32:24,295 --> 00:32:26,732
So, tell us,
what's new
in Chicago?
876
00:32:26,732 --> 00:32:28,516
How's the art?
877
00:32:28,516 --> 00:32:31,084
Well, it's, um... Yes?
878
00:32:31,084 --> 00:32:32,694
- It's great.
- Yes.
879
00:32:32,694 --> 00:32:34,566
All my pieces
from my last show
880
00:32:34,566 --> 00:32:36,960
sold out at the opening.
I mean...
881
00:32:36,960 --> 00:32:38,962
Well, that's
something...
That's amazing!
882
00:32:38,962 --> 00:32:40,398
- ...to crow about.
- Yeah, right?
883
00:32:40,398 --> 00:32:43,227
So, now that
you're getting
all these contacts,
884
00:32:43,227 --> 00:32:46,056
you could probably
work from anywhere.
885
00:32:46,056 --> 00:32:49,798
- Mom, stop, no.
- Right, sweetie?
Right?
886
00:32:49,798 --> 00:32:51,583
Sebastian and I
love living
in Chicago.
887
00:32:51,583 --> 00:32:53,063
Oh.
888
00:32:53,063 --> 00:32:55,717
But we miss
having you
there in D.C.
889
00:32:55,717 --> 00:32:57,937
We really do.
- We really do.
- We do.
890
00:32:57,937 --> 00:32:59,243
These cheeks
aren't as fun
891
00:32:59,243 --> 00:33:00,635
to kiss
on FaceTime.
892
00:33:00,635 --> 00:33:01,897
Oh, my God.
I want a cheek, too.
893
00:33:01,897 --> 00:33:03,334
Where's my cheek?
Where's my cheek?
894
00:33:03,334 --> 00:33:06,641
Excuse me. Excuse me.
895
00:33:06,641 --> 00:33:08,121
You guys aren't supposed
to be talking
896
00:33:08,121 --> 00:33:09,383
- during a sound bath.
- Oh, God.
897
00:33:09,383 --> 00:33:11,211
Oh, of course.
Sorry. Sorry, Dougie.
898
00:33:11,211 --> 00:33:12,473
No. No, this is... Sorry, sorry, sorry.
899
00:33:12,473 --> 00:33:13,997
This is wonderful.
900
00:33:13,997 --> 00:33:16,912
Please keep
bathing us
in sound.
901
00:33:16,912 --> 00:33:19,089
- Yes.
- Go, with
your... Yeah.
902
00:33:19,089 --> 00:33:22,179
Dad, listen. We're here
because I wanna marry Ellie.
903
00:33:22,179 --> 00:33:24,398
So, it don't matter
how it works
with these people.
904
00:33:24,398 --> 00:33:25,834
It works with her.
905
00:33:25,834 --> 00:33:27,749
So, come on.
Tomorrow, please,
906
00:33:27,749 --> 00:33:29,751
can you give
these people
a chance?
907
00:33:29,751 --> 00:33:32,841
Got it. Got it.
No problem, no problem.
908
00:33:32,841 --> 00:33:34,974
Because at the end
of the day, son,
it's your life.
909
00:33:36,584 --> 00:33:37,977
- Night cologne?
- Yep.
910
00:33:46,290 --> 00:33:48,422
Look at this.
Pink sheets?
911
00:33:48,422 --> 00:33:49,467
What?
912
00:33:51,034 --> 00:33:52,600
Well, we're
in a dollhouse.
913
00:33:56,169 --> 00:33:58,519
Mom, Dad,
I would love
914
00:33:58,519 --> 00:34:00,391
to live closer,
you know that.
915
00:34:00,391 --> 00:34:02,523
- And?
- But...
916
00:34:02,523 --> 00:34:04,873
Sebastian has
his dad,
917
00:34:04,873 --> 00:34:06,875
- and a great job.
- Yeah, working
918
00:34:06,875 --> 00:34:08,399
for the damn Hiltons.
919
00:34:08,399 --> 00:34:09,835
- The Hiltons.
- Such a good gig.
920
00:34:09,835 --> 00:34:11,532
Do you still have
to have herpes to work there?
921
00:34:11,532 --> 00:34:13,708
The point is... Thank you
for that.
922
00:34:13,708 --> 00:34:16,624
...that he loves it,
923
00:34:16,624 --> 00:34:19,018
and I couldn't
just ask him
to leave.
924
00:34:19,018 --> 00:34:21,499
Sure, but that house
that you guys live in,
925
00:34:21,499 --> 00:34:24,284
- it's so cramped.
- We prefer "modest."
926
00:34:24,284 --> 00:34:26,721
You don't go
on vacations.
Because we're working.
927
00:34:26,721 --> 00:34:28,114
And
all that cologne?
928
00:34:28,114 --> 00:34:30,029
They made my chopper smell
like a Nordstrom's.
929
00:34:30,029 --> 00:34:31,465
God! I hate it
930
00:34:31,465 --> 00:34:34,338
when you guys
gang up on me
like this.
931
00:34:34,338 --> 00:34:36,383
It's not fair!
And like it or not,
932
00:34:36,905 --> 00:34:37,993
Mom, Dad,
933
00:34:39,169 --> 00:34:40,474
and Lucky... Ow!
934
00:34:40,474 --> 00:34:42,737
Sebastian and I are
very happy together,
935
00:34:42,737 --> 00:34:44,870
and we're staying
in Chicago.
936
00:34:44,870 --> 00:34:46,480
I'm sorry, Dougie.
937
00:34:46,480 --> 00:34:48,613
Okay. I can't open
chakras like this.
938
00:34:48,613 --> 00:34:50,484
I'm gonna go
call my girlfriend.
939
00:34:50,484 --> 00:34:52,791
- Oh, no!
- It's fine.
It's fine.
940
00:34:52,791 --> 00:34:54,097
Oh, shit!
941
00:34:55,054 --> 00:34:56,186
Bitcoin's down.
942
00:34:59,102 --> 00:35:00,929
Will you look at us?
Walking through
943
00:35:00,929 --> 00:35:04,237
a gated community
as guests.
944
00:35:04,237 --> 00:35:05,630
Not groundskeepers.
945
00:35:05,630 --> 00:35:07,197
Yeah. Well,
I just hope
946
00:35:07,197 --> 00:35:08,763
nothing gets stolen
this weekend,
947
00:35:08,763 --> 00:35:10,852
'cause these people
love to blame
the immigrants.
948
00:35:12,158 --> 00:35:13,420
Look at this one.
Look at this one.
949
00:35:13,420 --> 00:35:15,596
What'd she do?
Take the gym
equipment home?
950
00:35:15,596 --> 00:35:16,945
- Morning!
- Hello.
951
00:35:16,945 --> 00:35:18,338
Beautiful day,
isn't it?
Yeah.
952
00:35:18,338 --> 00:35:20,340
- Beautiful.
- Yeah. Yeah.
953
00:35:20,340 --> 00:35:22,342
You gotta be kidding me.
What the hell's her problem?
954
00:35:22,342 --> 00:35:23,822
"Beautiful day."
Give me a break.
955
00:35:23,822 --> 00:35:25,476
She's happy, Dad.
956
00:35:25,476 --> 00:35:28,218
She probably had
a father that let her
sleep in past 5:45.
957
00:35:28,218 --> 00:35:29,480
I mean, I can't
stop thinking
958
00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:30,916
about how much work
I'm missing.
959
00:35:30,916 --> 00:35:32,570
I could've done
four dyes
and a perm by now.
960
00:35:32,570 --> 00:35:34,485
Two electric bills
I could've paid. Two.
961
00:35:34,485 --> 00:35:36,095
- Good morning.
- Hello.
962
00:35:37,270 --> 00:35:39,054
"Good morning."
Come on.
963
00:35:39,054 --> 00:35:41,274
What you talking about?
She's in a bathrobe.
I can't believe this.
964
00:35:41,274 --> 00:35:43,015
I mean, don't
these people
have jobs?
965
00:35:43,015 --> 00:35:44,538
It's a holiday weekend.
966
00:35:44,538 --> 00:35:46,845
Plus, they got
their money in
the stock market.
967
00:35:46,845 --> 00:35:49,978
Not mayonnaise jars
buried in their backyard.
968
00:35:49,978 --> 00:35:52,111
Just relax.
Come on, Dad.
969
00:35:52,111 --> 00:35:54,853
It's a beautiful day!
970
00:36:02,252 --> 00:36:04,515
Back and forth,
back and forth.
971
00:36:04,515 --> 00:36:06,865
You play this game?
Come on.
972
00:36:06,865 --> 00:36:08,214
The outfits?
973
00:36:08,214 --> 00:36:09,824
The wives
with their culos
hanging out
974
00:36:09,824 --> 00:36:11,652
for everybody
to see?
975
00:36:11,652 --> 00:36:13,176
And when
they hit a ball,
it sounds like
976
00:36:13,176 --> 00:36:14,307
they're having
an orgasm. They're
hitting a ball.
977
00:36:15,874 --> 00:36:17,963
Come on. The only reason
I agreed to play is
978
00:36:17,963 --> 00:36:19,834
so you could spend
some time with Bill.
979
00:36:19,834 --> 00:36:21,488
So just relax
and do what
we came to do.
980
00:36:21,488 --> 00:36:22,750
Yeah, I am relaxed.
981
00:36:22,750 --> 00:36:24,187
Look, I got
sandals on.
982
00:36:24,796 --> 00:36:26,363
I'm relaxed.
983
00:36:26,363 --> 00:36:28,539
You look like
the guy who killed
John Wick's dog.
984
00:36:28,539 --> 00:36:30,193
Who's that?
I don't even
know who that is.
985
00:36:32,586 --> 00:36:34,762
So Ellie tells me
you're quite the player.
986
00:36:34,762 --> 00:36:36,416
Yeah, I've taken
a couple lessons.
987
00:36:36,416 --> 00:36:37,983
Well, get ready
to bring it.
988
00:36:37,983 --> 00:36:40,290
I love my family everywhere,
989
00:36:40,290 --> 00:36:42,640
except on
the tennis court.
990
00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:43,945
- Chest-bump!
- Oh, wow!
991
00:36:43,945 --> 00:36:46,209
Oh, jeez, that's
uncomfortable.
992
00:36:46,209 --> 00:36:48,080
Let's do this.
Mom, you ready?
993
00:36:56,480 --> 00:36:58,003
It's time
for tennis, baby!
994
00:36:59,439 --> 00:37:01,354
So, hey, Bill...
Yeah?
995
00:37:01,354 --> 00:37:03,487
So how long
you been in the
hotel business?
996
00:37:03,487 --> 00:37:05,489
Oh, yes, well,
50 years.
997
00:37:05,489 --> 00:37:07,752
A long time.
My whole life. Yeah.
998
00:37:08,709 --> 00:37:10,450
But then it's...
999
00:37:10,450 --> 00:37:12,757
I guess it's
a pretty exciting
thing to do.
1000
00:37:12,757 --> 00:37:14,498
I love it. I love it.
I got... I got hotel...
1001
00:37:14,498 --> 00:37:16,630
I got... I got
hotels in
my blood.
1002
00:37:16,630 --> 00:37:18,153
Just like
you have hair
in your blood.
1003
00:37:18,153 --> 00:37:19,633
Right? I mean...
1004
00:37:19,633 --> 00:37:22,636
Yo, Sea Bass.
Hope you got on
your oven mitts.
1005
00:37:22,636 --> 00:37:24,159
'Cause here comes the heat.
1006
00:37:24,159 --> 00:37:26,249
Oh.
1007
00:37:26,249 --> 00:37:29,077
Oh, my God!
Sorry.
1008
00:37:29,077 --> 00:37:30,644
What the hell was
that, Sebastian?
1009
00:37:30,644 --> 00:37:32,559
Ellie told me you had game.
1010
00:37:32,559 --> 00:37:34,169
- Sorry.
Didn't
come easy.
1011
00:37:34,169 --> 00:37:35,997
I got, uh,
kicked out
of Harvard
1012
00:37:35,997 --> 00:37:37,825
for playing
the sax. I know,
it's a long story.
1013
00:37:37,825 --> 00:37:39,479
But my dad,
he got mad.
He said,
1014
00:37:39,479 --> 00:37:41,220
"That's it.
You make it
on your own."
1015
00:37:41,220 --> 00:37:43,744
He gave me
one hotel. One.
1016
00:37:43,744 --> 00:37:45,137
- Wow.
- Yeah.
1017
00:37:45,137 --> 00:37:46,486
That's
- impressive.
- Well...
1018
00:37:48,662 --> 00:37:50,185
My father
gave me
a mule.
1019
00:37:50,925 --> 00:37:52,275
Next day
it died.
1020
00:37:54,886 --> 00:37:56,322
Gah!
1021
00:37:56,322 --> 00:37:58,759
♪ Put the macaroni
in the pot and cook it ♪
1022
00:38:01,588 --> 00:38:03,068
What's
that, Doug?
1023
00:38:03,068 --> 00:38:04,722
It's an adult
coloring book.
1024
00:38:08,378 --> 00:38:09,814
Hey,
man, you wanna
take a break
1025
00:38:09,814 --> 00:38:12,382
for some more water
or some more
tennis lessons?
1026
00:38:14,993 --> 00:38:17,256
What is going on?
1027
00:38:17,256 --> 00:38:18,605
- What?
- You love tennis,
1028
00:38:18,605 --> 00:38:20,041
and it's like
you're not even
trying out here.
1029
00:38:20,041 --> 00:38:21,478
Come on, it's
just a game.
1030
00:38:21,478 --> 00:38:22,957
Well...
1031
00:38:22,957 --> 00:38:24,350
All right.
At least
take off
1032
00:38:24,350 --> 00:38:25,743
this stupid
- tracksuit.
- No, it's cold.
1033
00:38:25,743 --> 00:38:27,135
Leave it on.
- Leave it on.
- You must be sweating...
1034
00:38:27,135 --> 00:38:28,615
No, I'm cold.
I'm cold....your tits off!
1035
00:38:28,615 --> 00:38:30,225
You're not cold.
1036
00:38:32,445 --> 00:38:34,708
Wait a sec. Are you
embarrassed to play
1037
00:38:34,708 --> 00:38:36,014
because your dad
is watching?
1038
00:38:36,014 --> 00:38:37,276
Listen, he's not
the biggest fan
1039
00:38:37,276 --> 00:38:38,625
of sports like this.
1040
00:38:38,625 --> 00:38:40,235
And I don't
really feel like
going over there
1041
00:38:40,235 --> 00:38:41,541
and explaining to him
1042
00:38:41,541 --> 00:38:43,543
that I'm paying a guy
to teach me how to play.
1043
00:38:43,543 --> 00:38:45,589
Well, you should know
that my mother is not
1044
00:38:45,589 --> 00:38:48,331
a "big fan"
of losing either.
1045
00:38:50,594 --> 00:38:53,292
Yeah.
1046
00:38:53,292 --> 00:38:55,816
Listen, at least
she stopped
chest-bumping me.
1047
00:38:55,816 --> 00:38:57,992
The only breasts
I wanna feel in
this family are yours.
1048
00:38:58,950 --> 00:39:00,343
Not if you lose.
1049
00:39:01,518 --> 00:39:03,346
Sebastian,
did Ellie
ever tell you
1050
00:39:03,346 --> 00:39:04,651
about the guy
she dated,
1051
00:39:04,651 --> 00:39:07,393
during her semester
abroad in Scotland?
1052
00:39:07,393 --> 00:39:09,700
Is that
Andy-frickin'-Murray?
1053
00:39:09,700 --> 00:39:12,529
Never lost
a match with him
on my team.
1054
00:39:12,529 --> 00:39:14,008
I wonder what
he's up to.
1055
00:39:14,008 --> 00:39:15,532
Hey, you know what?
I'll play with my weak hand.
1056
00:39:15,532 --> 00:39:17,838
That way
you guys have,
like, a shot.
1057
00:39:19,666 --> 00:39:21,102
Is that cool, Mom?
1058
00:39:21,102 --> 00:39:23,366
Until then,
my nightmare had been
1059
00:39:23,366 --> 00:39:26,151
letting my father
see me enjoy this life.
1060
00:39:33,245 --> 00:39:35,029
So, much like the kick serve
1061
00:39:35,029 --> 00:39:38,642
I learned from a Swedish pro
named Johannes,
1062
00:39:38,642 --> 00:39:40,557
this would be the point
1063
00:39:40,557 --> 00:39:42,080
of no return.
1064
00:39:45,344 --> 00:39:46,563
Ooh!
1065
00:40:21,424 --> 00:40:22,642
Oh, no.
1066
00:40:23,164 --> 00:40:24,514
You see this?
1067
00:40:24,514 --> 00:40:27,081
Crud! I am calm!
1068
00:40:27,081 --> 00:40:28,387
Serve!
1069
00:40:31,172 --> 00:40:32,957
This a game
you can
pick up fast?
1070
00:40:34,349 --> 00:40:35,438
Not at this level.
1071
00:40:41,095 --> 00:40:42,183
My, my.
1072
00:40:42,183 --> 00:40:44,751
Sebastian,
he's got game.
1073
00:40:44,751 --> 00:40:46,144
You must be
very proud.
1074
00:41:03,640 --> 00:41:05,642
Lucky! Are
you okay?
1075
00:41:05,642 --> 00:41:06,991
No, I'm not okay.
1076
00:41:06,991 --> 00:41:08,906
So sorry, Luck.
1077
00:41:08,906 --> 00:41:11,082
Oh, that's okay, Sebastian.
1078
00:41:11,082 --> 00:41:12,518
I'm sure it was
an accident.
1079
00:41:12,518 --> 00:41:13,650
Oh, my God.
1080
00:41:13,650 --> 00:41:15,216
Quick! Bill!
1081
00:41:15,216 --> 00:41:18,393
Get a small cup
of ice water
for his testes.
1082
00:41:18,393 --> 00:41:19,612
Here.
What?
1083
00:41:19,612 --> 00:41:21,048
I'm way
ahead of you, sweetheart.
1084
00:41:21,048 --> 00:41:22,397
No, no, no. no.
- Here, this
is ice tea.
1085
00:41:22,397 --> 00:41:23,398
- It's not gonna hurt.
- Easy, son.
Rest easy.
1086
00:41:23,398 --> 00:41:24,748
- Nice and cool.
- We're gonna cool
1087
00:41:24,748 --> 00:41:26,619
my future
- grandbabies.
- Stop what you're doing!
1088
00:41:26,619 --> 00:41:28,055
- No, no, no.
- No, no, no.
Do you want me
1089
00:41:28,055 --> 00:41:29,187
to squeeze one, sweetie...
Take these. Hold these.
1090
00:41:29,187 --> 00:41:30,405
...just to feel
how it is?
Trust me.
1091
00:41:30,405 --> 00:41:32,059
Don't touch.
Oh, okay.
1092
00:41:32,059 --> 00:41:33,408
When did
you learn to play tennis
like that, anyway?
1093
00:41:33,408 --> 00:41:35,933
I took a few lessons
for Ellie, all right?
1094
00:41:35,933 --> 00:41:37,021
It's not that big
of a deal.
1095
00:41:37,021 --> 00:41:38,457
So how much
this cost you?
1096
00:41:38,457 --> 00:41:40,328
To all
the immigrant kids watching,
1097
00:41:40,328 --> 00:41:42,548
you know when
you get that question,
1098
00:41:42,548 --> 00:41:44,332
you always give them
the parent price.
1099
00:41:44,332 --> 00:41:45,420
Uh, $40.
1100
00:41:45,420 --> 00:41:46,900
Forty? You're
telling me
1101
00:41:46,900 --> 00:41:47,988
you paid the price
1102
00:41:47,988 --> 00:41:49,163
of a long hair blowout
1103
00:41:49,163 --> 00:41:51,296
for somebody
to teach you
a game?
1104
00:41:51,296 --> 00:41:53,037
I mean,
what am
I gonna say?
1105
00:41:53,037 --> 00:41:55,169
Now, just imagine
how he'd react if I told him
1106
00:41:55,169 --> 00:41:57,215
the actual price was 80.
1107
00:41:57,215 --> 00:41:59,913
Next thing I know,
you'll be serving me
the bird crackers.
1108
00:42:01,306 --> 00:42:03,047
Son, serve me
the bird crackers.
Come on.
1109
00:42:03,961 --> 00:42:05,702
It's a hobby, Dad.
1110
00:42:05,702 --> 00:42:07,573
A lot of people have
them, all right?
1111
00:42:07,573 --> 00:42:09,009
Stop acting
like I'm
joining a cult.
1112
00:42:09,009 --> 00:42:10,097
Well, it is a cult.
1113
00:42:10,097 --> 00:42:11,359
Only instead
of Kool-Aid,
1114
00:42:11,359 --> 00:42:12,535
they're serving champagne.
1115
00:42:12,535 --> 00:42:14,537
Mmm.
1116
00:42:16,582 --> 00:42:17,627
Welcome,
everyone,
1117
00:42:17,627 --> 00:42:18,715
to the
S.S. Collins.
1118
00:42:18,715 --> 00:42:21,500
Uh, fun fact.
I won this boat,
1119
00:42:21,500 --> 00:42:22,849
playing
backgammon
1120
00:42:22,849 --> 00:42:24,242
with Sir Richard Branson.
1121
00:42:24,242 --> 00:42:26,636
So for us,
every voyage is
a Virgin one.
1122
00:42:28,202 --> 00:42:29,421
- Good one, sir.
- Thanks.
1123
00:42:29,421 --> 00:42:31,118
Now, Bill and I
have been talking,
1124
00:42:31,118 --> 00:42:33,643
and we were
going to wait
1125
00:42:33,643 --> 00:42:35,340
until the weekend
to do this,
1126
00:42:35,340 --> 00:42:37,516
but, um,
now we're just
too excited.
1127
00:42:37,516 --> 00:42:39,692
All right.
Uh, Sebastian,
1128
00:42:39,692 --> 00:42:42,260
as a lifelong hotelier,
1129
00:42:42,260 --> 00:42:44,610
and the father
of the most
wonderful girl
1130
00:42:44,610 --> 00:42:46,264
in the world... I love you.
1131
00:42:46,264 --> 00:42:48,353
...I have to say,
it just killed me...
1132
00:42:48,353 --> 00:42:50,398
killed...
Kills us.
Kills us. Yes.
1133
00:42:50,398 --> 00:42:51,661
We are dead,
1134
00:42:51,661 --> 00:42:54,098
thinking that
you are working
1135
00:42:54,098 --> 00:42:55,795
for our biggest competitor.
1136
00:42:55,795 --> 00:42:57,405
So... Go on.
1137
00:42:57,405 --> 00:42:58,537
Shall I?Yes.
1138
00:42:58,537 --> 00:43:00,147
- Right now?
- Please do.
1139
00:43:00,147 --> 00:43:01,888
Okay.
- Daddy,
what is it?
1140
00:43:01,888 --> 00:43:05,370
On behalf
of the Collins
Hotel group,
1141
00:43:05,370 --> 00:43:07,198
I would love you
to join our side
1142
00:43:07,198 --> 00:43:09,243
and become
the new face
1143
00:43:09,243 --> 00:43:12,203
of the luxurious
five-star experience,
1144
00:43:12,203 --> 00:43:14,118
that is...
drum roll,
1145
00:43:16,642 --> 00:43:18,035
The Barrymore Hotel.
1146
00:43:18,035 --> 00:43:19,123
Go on. Yeah.
1147
00:43:19,123 --> 00:43:20,298
Not kidding.
1148
00:43:20,298 --> 00:43:22,169
What?
Are you serious?
1149
00:43:22,169 --> 00:43:23,606
Not kidding.
Very serious.
1150
00:43:23,606 --> 00:43:25,259
This is
your signature property.
1151
00:43:25,259 --> 00:43:27,000
The most
prestigious hotel
in D.C.
1152
00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:28,262
Yeah,
it better be.
We just spent
1153
00:43:28,262 --> 00:43:30,482
$240 million
restoring it.
1154
00:43:30,482 --> 00:43:33,224
Uh, Dad, I thought
you were saving
that job for me.
1155
00:43:33,224 --> 00:43:34,878
We regularly drug test.
1156
00:43:34,878 --> 00:43:36,967
Oh. Okay then.
1157
00:43:36,967 --> 00:43:39,056
Mom, Dad,
this is
so generous.
1158
00:43:39,056 --> 00:43:40,492
We
wouldn't do this
1159
00:43:40,492 --> 00:43:43,103
if we didn't think
he was perfect
for the job.
1160
00:43:43,103 --> 00:43:45,149
Come on, let's
go get some
more champagne.
1161
00:43:45,149 --> 00:43:46,237
- Let's take a look.
- I mean...
1162
00:43:46,237 --> 00:43:47,542
Let's take
a look at...
What?
1163
00:43:47,542 --> 00:43:48,718
...what you're... I can't
believe this.
1164
00:43:48,718 --> 00:43:49,893
...going to be
the new manager of.
1165
00:43:49,893 --> 00:43:51,546
Now this was
built in 1896.
1166
00:43:51,546 --> 00:43:53,374
It's been completely restored,
1167
00:43:53,374 --> 00:43:55,942
down to the dings
and the doorknobs.
1168
00:43:57,596 --> 00:43:59,598
Take a look.
No, they're all... Everything.
1169
00:43:59,598 --> 00:44:02,079
Hey, uh, Doug,
what are you doing?
1170
00:44:02,079 --> 00:44:04,211
Just getting
the blood flowing.
1171
00:44:05,560 --> 00:44:06,736
Your face is
getting a little red.
1172
00:44:07,475 --> 00:44:09,347
Yeah, I... I feel dizzy.
1173
00:44:10,174 --> 00:44:11,958
Yeah, me, too.
1174
00:44:11,958 --> 00:44:14,091
Oh, that's the
Jackie Onassis boardroom.
1175
00:44:14,091 --> 00:44:16,136
She was never there,
but we wish she would
have been.
1176
00:44:17,877 --> 00:44:20,358
This painting
in the lobby
here looks...
1177
00:44:20,358 --> 00:44:23,753
Yes, we... There's art.
Oh, we have... Yes.
1178
00:44:23,753 --> 00:44:25,276
This painting
in the board room.
1179
00:44:25,276 --> 00:44:27,539
Yeah, there's
a painting.
I recognize that sunset.
1180
00:44:27,539 --> 00:44:29,715
Wait a minute.
Did you buy
Ellie's paintings?
1181
00:44:29,715 --> 00:44:32,152
- Does she know?
- We bought a few
1182
00:44:32,152 --> 00:44:33,980
through this designer
that we know,
1183
00:44:33,980 --> 00:44:35,547
it's no big deal.
1184
00:44:35,547 --> 00:44:38,768
We're supporting
our baby's dream.
1185
00:44:38,768 --> 00:44:41,031
Let's close this.
1186
00:44:41,031 --> 00:44:42,336
A little champagne.
1187
00:44:42,336 --> 00:44:44,077
Oh, good.
I'll have some.
I'll have some.
1188
00:44:44,077 --> 00:44:45,470
Excuse me, Daddy.
1189
00:44:47,559 --> 00:44:49,561
So, what are
you thinking?
1190
00:44:49,561 --> 00:44:51,563
Yeah, well, Bill,
that's a very
generous offer,
1191
00:44:51,563 --> 00:44:54,218
but Sebastian
obviously has to
think about that.
1192
00:44:54,218 --> 00:44:55,393
Right?
1193
00:44:55,393 --> 00:44:57,003
Yeah.
Absolutely, Dad. Yeah.
1194
00:44:57,003 --> 00:44:59,310
Of course.
This would be
1195
00:44:59,310 --> 00:45:00,746
a big move
for everyone,
1196
00:45:00,746 --> 00:45:03,401
so please,
take your time.
1197
00:45:03,401 --> 00:45:04,881
- Talk it over.
- Right.
1198
00:45:04,881 --> 00:45:06,534
And then tell us
what day to send
the moving trucks.
1199
00:45:08,232 --> 00:45:10,190
Dad.
1200
00:45:10,190 --> 00:45:13,106
Oh, this is
so cool!
So cool!
1201
00:45:13,106 --> 00:45:14,673
Hey, as
a possible member
1202
00:45:14,673 --> 00:45:17,937
of our, um,
family company,
1203
00:45:17,937 --> 00:45:19,939
how about we celebrate with
a little jet-booting, huh?
1204
00:45:19,939 --> 00:45:21,724
Oh, that sounds
great, man.
Count me in.
1205
00:45:21,724 --> 00:45:23,160
What's jet-booting?
1206
00:45:24,596 --> 00:45:27,207
Whoo! Whoa!
1207
00:45:27,207 --> 00:45:29,340
This is amazing, Lucky!
1208
00:45:29,340 --> 00:45:30,863
All right! Look at you.
1209
00:45:30,863 --> 00:45:33,083
Baby, you're doing so good!
1210
00:45:33,083 --> 00:45:35,563
I feel like I'm flying! Whoa!
1211
00:45:35,563 --> 00:45:37,609
- Use your core!
- I'm actually smiling.
1212
00:45:37,609 --> 00:45:39,829
This smile is real.
1213
00:45:41,047 --> 00:45:42,396
Salvo, would
you like
1214
00:45:42,396 --> 00:45:44,181
to borrow some
swim trunks?
1215
00:45:44,181 --> 00:45:45,965
We have
a hot tub upstairs.
1216
00:45:45,965 --> 00:45:47,575
I'm fine.
I'm trying
to watch him.
1217
00:45:47,575 --> 00:45:49,055
- Oh.
- Make sure
he's okay.
1218
00:45:50,274 --> 00:45:52,058
Hey...
1219
00:45:52,058 --> 00:45:53,843
I just wanted
to thank you
1220
00:45:53,843 --> 00:45:57,020
for looking
after Ellie
in Chicago.
1221
00:45:57,020 --> 00:45:59,631
We feel so lucky
she's met your son.
1222
00:45:59,631 --> 00:46:01,415
Well, he's a good kid. Thanks.
1223
00:46:01,415 --> 00:46:02,895
I'm king
of the world!
1224
00:46:02,895 --> 00:46:04,375
Always out making
an ass of himself.
1225
00:46:07,421 --> 00:46:09,119
I know
you guys are close,
1226
00:46:09,119 --> 00:46:12,557
so if they do
end up in D.C.,
1227
00:46:12,557 --> 00:46:15,603
I promise we will
take good care of him.
1228
00:46:15,603 --> 00:46:17,083
Honestly, I wouldn't
get your hopes up.
1229
00:46:17,083 --> 00:46:19,956
I can't imagine Sebastian
ever leaving Chicago or me.
1230
00:46:19,956 --> 00:46:21,392
'Cause I'm
the only family
he's got.
1231
00:46:23,002 --> 00:46:25,178
I used to say
the same thing
about Ellie.
1232
00:46:28,791 --> 00:46:31,010
Hey, Dad!
Check it out!
I can dive!
1233
00:46:34,274 --> 00:46:37,016
Look at that.
He's very athletic.
He's quite good.
1234
00:46:37,016 --> 00:46:38,539
Dad!
1235
00:46:38,539 --> 00:46:39,671
Yeah, he gets it
from my side.
1236
00:46:39,671 --> 00:46:40,890
Whoa!
1237
00:46:42,195 --> 00:46:43,718
Whoo-hoo!
1238
00:46:43,718 --> 00:46:44,850
Look at this!
1239
00:46:46,852 --> 00:46:48,201
- Oh, my gosh!
- Oh, shit!
1240
00:46:49,594 --> 00:46:51,117
Sebastian,
- your suit!
- It's Versace.
1241
00:46:51,117 --> 00:46:52,292
Do you like it?
1242
00:46:52,292 --> 00:46:54,425
No, you moron!
It's not up!
1243
00:46:54,425 --> 00:46:56,731
- Look down!
Oh, God!
1244
00:46:56,731 --> 00:46:59,038
Hey, Bubba Gump! Nice shrimp!
1245
00:46:59,038 --> 00:47:00,866
I can't get it. Whoa!
1246
00:47:01,345 --> 00:47:02,607
Oh!
1247
00:47:02,607 --> 00:47:03,695
Whoa! You good, man?
1248
00:47:05,436 --> 00:47:06,785
What's the matter
with you?
1249
00:47:06,785 --> 00:47:08,265
Pull up your pants!
1250
00:47:08,265 --> 00:47:09,919
I can't reach it.
1251
00:47:09,919 --> 00:47:12,660
Hey, what the hell
do I do?
1252
00:47:12,660 --> 00:47:14,924
Son, your sail
is at half-mast.
1253
00:47:14,924 --> 00:47:17,404
Oh, no, no, uh,
it looks like
it's full mast.
1254
00:47:17,404 --> 00:47:18,579
Oh, no!
1255
00:47:21,931 --> 00:47:23,280
Sebastian!
1256
00:47:23,280 --> 00:47:24,890
No, no.
Okay, don't... TIGGER: No!
1257
00:47:24,890 --> 00:47:26,065
- Stay down!
- No, no. No.
1258
00:47:26,065 --> 00:47:27,806
Stay down.
Stay down.
No!
1259
00:47:27,806 --> 00:47:29,025
- Okay. Okay.
- God!
1260
00:47:29,025 --> 00:47:30,765
All right,
that is not appropriate.
1261
00:47:30,765 --> 00:47:33,159
I'm going to be sick.
No, it's...
1262
00:47:33,159 --> 00:47:35,292
Honey, my mom
can't unsee that.
1263
00:47:37,294 --> 00:47:39,383
Hey, Sea Bass!
Say hi to TikTok.
1264
00:47:45,824 --> 00:47:47,043
Dad, what
the hell you doing?
1265
00:47:47,043 --> 00:47:48,435
Packing.
1266
00:47:48,435 --> 00:47:50,481
I'm going back
to Chicago
tomorrow morning.
1267
00:47:50,481 --> 00:47:52,178
What, are you crazy?
We're not leaving.
1268
00:47:52,178 --> 00:47:53,745
You didn't even
give me the ring yet.
1269
00:47:53,745 --> 00:47:55,878
Trust me.
What I saw today,
1270
00:47:55,878 --> 00:47:57,662
you don't come back from.
1271
00:47:57,662 --> 00:47:59,316
Oh, stop being
so dramatic.
1272
00:47:59,316 --> 00:48:00,752
It was from far away.
1273
00:48:00,752 --> 00:48:01,971
Nobody saw much.
1274
00:48:01,971 --> 00:48:03,407
Yeah, that's for sure.
1275
00:48:03,407 --> 00:48:05,235
Look, I know
I haven't seen
you naked
1276
00:48:05,235 --> 00:48:07,106
since the delivery room,
but is it possible
1277
00:48:07,106 --> 00:48:09,369
your pisellino hasn't
even grown since then?
1278
00:48:09,369 --> 00:48:11,067
Would you put
the suitcase away?
1279
00:48:11,067 --> 00:48:12,677
No, I'm gonna
bring you home,
1280
00:48:12,677 --> 00:48:14,157
set you up
with some
Italian girls,
1281
00:48:14,157 --> 00:48:15,549
help you
start over fresh.
1282
00:48:15,549 --> 00:48:17,638
And I even got
a nice new
hairstyle for you.
1283
00:48:17,638 --> 00:48:19,597
Dad, I'm in love with Ellie.
That wouldn't change
1284
00:48:19,597 --> 00:48:22,034
if I accidentally showed
my balls to the entire world.
1285
00:48:22,034 --> 00:48:23,775
Oh, is that what
you got planned
for tomorrow?
1286
00:48:23,775 --> 00:48:25,603
Son, you gotta
stop pretending
1287
00:48:25,603 --> 00:48:27,866
that you fit in
with these people,
because you don't.
1288
00:48:27,866 --> 00:48:29,476
I'm not pretending.
1289
00:48:29,476 --> 00:48:31,261
Are you serious?
I mean, every time
you're with this family,
1290
00:48:31,261 --> 00:48:32,436
you make a fool of yourself.
1291
00:48:32,436 --> 00:48:33,916
Because you raised me
1292
00:48:33,916 --> 00:48:36,092
to be afraid
of trying anything new.
1293
00:48:36,092 --> 00:48:38,050
I mean, God.
Dad, listen,
1294
00:48:38,050 --> 00:48:40,792
I honestly...
I was nervous
to bring you here.
1295
00:48:40,792 --> 00:48:42,315
'Cause I knew
you would just
sit here,
1296
00:48:42,315 --> 00:48:44,187
and judge
with your black shirt,
1297
00:48:44,187 --> 00:48:45,318
your zipper purse,
1298
00:48:45,318 --> 00:48:46,754
your resting bitch face.
1299
00:48:46,754 --> 00:48:48,582
Hey, I don't have
resting bitch face.
1300
00:48:48,582 --> 00:48:50,584
We look like
Italian gargoyles.
1301
00:48:50,584 --> 00:48:51,846
You look
like you're
gonna murder
1302
00:48:51,846 --> 00:48:53,979
the entire neighborhood.
1303
00:48:53,979 --> 00:48:55,720
You know what
your problem is?
1304
00:48:55,720 --> 00:48:58,331
You're so negative,
you can't let yourself
enjoy anything,
1305
00:48:58,331 --> 00:48:59,854
so you think I can't either.
1306
00:49:00,899 --> 00:49:04,207
Dad, Ellie is my future.
1307
00:49:04,207 --> 00:49:07,645
And I'm gonna keep
an open mind
about everything.
1308
00:49:07,645 --> 00:49:09,908
Whoa, whoa. What do
you mean, everything?
1309
00:49:09,908 --> 00:49:12,128
- Even the job offer?
- Maybe.
1310
00:49:12,128 --> 00:49:13,172
It's a pretty good one.
1311
00:49:15,609 --> 00:49:16,697
Unbelievable.
1312
00:49:17,394 --> 00:49:18,395
Unbelievable.
1313
00:49:20,223 --> 00:49:21,354
Unbelievable.
1314
00:49:25,663 --> 00:49:27,621
First, your mother is
taken away from me.
1315
00:49:27,621 --> 00:49:29,449
Now you wanna leave.
1316
00:49:29,449 --> 00:49:31,930
I'm not leaving you, Dad.
1317
00:49:31,930 --> 00:49:34,672
Ellie's the best thing
that ever happened to me.
1318
00:49:34,672 --> 00:49:36,674
And when
I get married, not if,
1319
00:49:36,674 --> 00:49:40,504
her family is going to be
a big part of the package.
1320
00:49:40,504 --> 00:49:43,376
Now, I want you
to be a part of my life.
1321
00:49:43,376 --> 00:49:45,683
But if that's gonna happen,
you gotta give me some effort.
1322
00:49:45,683 --> 00:49:49,208
I wanna see
the Salvo at the salon
1323
00:49:49,208 --> 00:49:51,384
that everybody loves.
1324
00:49:51,384 --> 00:49:52,777
And if I don't,
I got no choice
1325
00:49:52,777 --> 00:49:54,213
but to leave you behind.
1326
00:49:59,610 --> 00:50:02,439
I don't know.
How can you say that?
How can you say that?
1327
00:50:02,439 --> 00:50:05,746
How could you say that
to your father?
1328
00:50:07,531 --> 00:50:10,142
You got no respect
for your family.
1329
00:50:10,142 --> 00:50:12,753
I got enough respect to know
we could go to bed angry
1330
00:50:14,233 --> 00:50:16,757
but not stinky.
Come on.
1331
00:50:18,716 --> 00:50:20,500
Now, come on,
let's do our
night spritz.
1332
00:50:27,812 --> 00:50:30,684
I miss you, and I wish
you were here for
so many reasons.
1333
00:50:30,684 --> 00:50:32,860
So many reasons, just...
1334
00:50:32,860 --> 00:50:35,559
For one, just tell me,
am I being an asshole?
1335
00:50:35,559 --> 00:50:38,910
Are we really doing
the right thing
for our son?
1336
00:50:38,910 --> 00:50:41,652
Just give me
some kind of sign, something.
1337
00:50:42,087 --> 00:50:43,436
Please?
1338
00:50:43,436 --> 00:50:45,003
Just let me know
what you think.
1339
00:50:45,830 --> 00:50:47,614
I... I...
1340
00:50:47,614 --> 00:50:49,355
Give me some sign, honey.
1341
00:51:08,200 --> 00:51:09,854
I love you.
1342
00:51:09,854 --> 00:51:11,247
Hi, Doug.
1343
00:51:12,596 --> 00:51:14,424
- Hello.
- What are you doing?
1344
00:51:14,424 --> 00:51:16,774
I was just serenading
the peacocks.
1345
00:51:17,514 --> 00:51:18,602
Oh.
1346
00:51:21,561 --> 00:51:23,433
Would you be
open enough
1347
00:51:23,433 --> 00:51:26,262
to doing
a healing session
with me?
1348
00:51:26,262 --> 00:51:27,350
A healing session?
1349
00:51:27,350 --> 00:51:29,221
It'll be
very beneficial for you.
1350
00:51:31,223 --> 00:51:32,355
Well, that's a nice offer,
1351
00:51:32,355 --> 00:51:33,747
but I don't know
if I even know
1352
00:51:33,747 --> 00:51:35,009
what you're talking about.
1353
00:51:35,009 --> 00:51:38,230
Well, just start
by shutting your eyes,
1354
00:51:39,101 --> 00:51:40,798
and then, really,
just focus
1355
00:51:40,798 --> 00:51:42,452
on your breathing.
1356
00:51:42,452 --> 00:51:43,583
In your nose.
1357
00:51:44,367 --> 00:51:45,455
Out your nose.
1358
00:51:46,369 --> 00:51:48,893
And if you can,
1359
00:51:48,893 --> 00:51:52,679
really try to connect
to that little Salvo,
1360
00:51:52,679 --> 00:51:54,986
that was afraid
when you were young.
1361
00:51:56,248 --> 00:51:58,250
I don't even know
where he is anymore.
1362
00:51:58,250 --> 00:52:00,165
That's so long ago.
1363
00:52:00,165 --> 00:52:02,428
You know, I'm in another...
I'm in another life.
1364
00:52:04,517 --> 00:52:07,259
Let me help you
find him, okay?
1365
00:52:07,259 --> 00:52:08,782
Just stay with your breath.
1366
00:52:16,529 --> 00:52:18,836
- Heal, little Salvo.
- Okay, I feel better.
1367
00:52:20,403 --> 00:52:21,752
- You do?
- Mmm-hmm.
1368
00:52:21,752 --> 00:52:23,101
- Yeah. Thanks.
- Okay.
1369
00:52:23,101 --> 00:52:24,885
I'm gonna
go to sleep. Okay.
1370
00:52:24,885 --> 00:52:26,017
- Thank you.
- Good night.
1371
00:52:26,017 --> 00:52:27,671
Good night.
Good night, Doug.
1372
00:52:27,671 --> 00:52:29,151
I'm glad
I could help.
Thank you. Yeah.
1373
00:52:29,151 --> 00:52:31,457
Thank you.
Big help.
1374
00:52:33,329 --> 00:52:35,548
Yesterday was
a day of regrettable firsts.
1375
00:52:36,419 --> 00:52:37,811
I yelled at my father
1376
00:52:37,811 --> 00:52:40,988
and I showed my balls
to my future in-laws.
1377
00:52:40,988 --> 00:52:42,076
But who knows?
1378
00:52:42,076 --> 00:52:44,035
Maybe everybody forgot?
1379
00:52:44,035 --> 00:52:46,864
Well, there's
the big swimmer.
1380
00:52:46,864 --> 00:52:48,387
Hey, did you
see the full moon
last night?
1381
00:52:48,387 --> 00:52:50,172
Okay. Just... I'm talking about
your butt.
1382
00:52:50,172 --> 00:52:51,956
All right.
Ignore him.
1383
00:52:51,956 --> 00:52:53,697
His butt cheeks
- are the full moon.
- Yes, I understand.
1384
00:52:53,697 --> 00:52:56,221
Um, how you
doing, kiddo?
1385
00:52:56,221 --> 00:52:58,180
- I'm all right.
Good.
1386
00:52:58,180 --> 00:52:59,920
- Have you seen my dad?
Yes.
1387
00:52:59,920 --> 00:53:01,487
He is out
taking a walk
1388
00:53:01,487 --> 00:53:02,880
with Ellie, Doug
and Tigger.
1389
00:53:02,880 --> 00:53:04,273
- A walk?
Yes, he was...
1390
00:53:04,273 --> 00:53:05,622
he was...
Well, here.
1391
00:53:05,622 --> 00:53:06,884
- Speak of the devil.
So I says to him...
1392
00:53:06,884 --> 00:53:08,929
I says, "Why would I
buy you a skateboard
1393
00:53:08,929 --> 00:53:09,974
"when I can build you one?"
1394
00:53:09,974 --> 00:53:13,195
Holy Mother of God.
1395
00:53:13,195 --> 00:53:14,413
Sleepy head,
I was just
telling 'em
1396
00:53:14,413 --> 00:53:15,632
about the time
I gave you
a skateboard
1397
00:53:15,632 --> 00:53:16,720
for Christmas.
You remember that?
1398
00:53:16,720 --> 00:53:18,200
Ah, I remember
that. Yeah.
1399
00:53:18,200 --> 00:53:19,679
What time
did you get up
anyway?
1400
00:53:19,679 --> 00:53:21,203
I got up early.
I didn't want
to wake you,
1401
00:53:21,203 --> 00:53:22,291
so I snuck out,
1402
00:53:22,291 --> 00:53:24,336
did my laundry,
watched TV,
1403
00:53:24,336 --> 00:53:26,033
fixed one
of their bannisters,
1404
00:53:26,033 --> 00:53:27,470
reorganized
the spice rack.
1405
00:53:27,470 --> 00:53:28,558
Then when
the sun came up,
1406
00:53:28,558 --> 00:53:30,299
I started making breakfast.
1407
00:53:30,299 --> 00:53:32,126
Then I went
for a walk to get
to know the family.
1408
00:53:32,126 --> 00:53:33,476
Good people,
these Collins.
1409
00:53:33,476 --> 00:53:35,869
Good people.
Even the commie.
1410
00:53:35,869 --> 00:53:37,175
Oh, I'm
a socialist.
1411
00:53:37,175 --> 00:53:38,655
Well, whatever
you say,
Che Guevara.
1412
00:53:38,655 --> 00:53:40,744
Oh, that's funny.
1413
00:53:42,485 --> 00:53:44,835
Get over here.
1414
00:53:44,835 --> 00:53:46,706
- What the hell's going on?
- What do you mean,
what's going on?
1415
00:53:46,706 --> 00:53:48,142
I'm doing what
you asked me to do.
1416
00:53:48,142 --> 00:53:49,840
Making an effort,
like you asked.
1417
00:53:49,840 --> 00:53:52,234
Okay. No, I appreciate it.
But Jesus, the shorts.
1418
00:53:52,234 --> 00:53:53,365
Yeah. So what?
1419
00:53:53,365 --> 00:53:54,671
I've never seen
your legs before.
1420
00:53:54,671 --> 00:53:56,020
Yeah, you haven't.
1421
00:53:56,020 --> 00:53:57,326
That's right.
They're not
too bad.
1422
00:53:57,326 --> 00:53:58,849
They look like
pretzel sticks
in socks.
1423
00:53:58,849 --> 00:54:00,154
Don't blame me.
This is what
1424
00:54:00,154 --> 00:54:01,373
these people
gave me,
you know?
1425
00:54:01,373 --> 00:54:04,463
What can I tell you?
I want to join the fun.
1426
00:54:04,463 --> 00:54:06,378
And I feel great,
and I can't wait
1427
00:54:06,378 --> 00:54:07,814
to see what the
universe suggests
1428
00:54:07,814 --> 00:54:09,686
after I opened
my eyes.
1429
00:54:09,686 --> 00:54:11,818
We did
a healing session together.
1430
00:54:11,818 --> 00:54:14,386
Yeah. Little Salvo's
not afraid anymore.
1431
00:54:14,386 --> 00:54:16,432
- Little Salvo?
- Yeah.
1432
00:54:16,432 --> 00:54:17,955
I hope
everyone's ready
1433
00:54:17,955 --> 00:54:19,696
for Family Fun Day.
1434
00:54:19,696 --> 00:54:20,958
I am. I am.
1435
00:54:20,958 --> 00:54:22,176
Oh,
what's Family Fun Day?
1436
00:54:22,176 --> 00:54:23,482
What?
What, are you dense?
1437
00:54:23,482 --> 00:54:25,179
Everything you
need to know
is in the name.
1438
00:54:25,179 --> 00:54:26,572
- Duh!
- Duh!
1439
00:54:26,572 --> 00:54:28,052
Okay.
Salud!
1440
00:54:28,052 --> 00:54:29,314
What the hell
is this?
1441
00:54:29,314 --> 00:54:30,446
It's a big
4th of July tradition.
1442
00:54:30,446 --> 00:54:32,883
There's relay races,
and croquet,
1443
00:54:32,883 --> 00:54:34,145
and face painting,
1444
00:54:34,145 --> 00:54:35,538
and a hot dog
eating contest.
1445
00:54:35,538 --> 00:54:36,887
It's just a lot of fun.
1446
00:54:43,067 --> 00:54:44,286
I know
I'd asked the man
1447
00:54:44,286 --> 00:54:45,591
to start making an effort,
1448
00:54:45,591 --> 00:54:47,158
but this was crazy.
1449
00:54:47,158 --> 00:54:49,595
I felt like
I created a monster.
1450
00:54:49,595 --> 00:54:51,728
Except instead
of looking scary,
1451
00:54:51,728 --> 00:54:55,122
he was smiling, playing games,
1452
00:54:55,122 --> 00:54:57,429
dressing like
the American flag.
1453
00:54:57,429 --> 00:54:58,648
All right!
1454
00:54:58,648 --> 00:55:00,911
The Maniscalcos.
1455
00:55:00,911 --> 00:55:03,000
What's your
angle here?
No angle. I'm happy.
1456
00:55:03,000 --> 00:55:04,349
I'm with my family.
1457
00:55:04,349 --> 00:55:05,437
Say, "Fireworks."
1458
00:55:05,437 --> 00:55:07,309
- Fireworks.
- Chee... Say firework.
1459
00:55:11,443 --> 00:55:12,836
It's like bocce with sticks.
1460
00:55:15,708 --> 00:55:17,231
All right.
You wanna
take a look?
1461
00:55:18,624 --> 00:55:20,234
- Nice.
- Right?
1462
00:55:20,234 --> 00:55:22,367
And the winner
of this year's
1463
00:55:22,367 --> 00:55:25,762
4th of July
hot dog eating
contest is
1464
00:55:25,762 --> 00:55:28,025
Salvo Manisculo!
1465
00:55:35,815 --> 00:55:37,426
My father was
having a great time,
1466
00:55:37,426 --> 00:55:40,342
and suddenly, I was the one
who was uncomfortable.
1467
00:55:40,342 --> 00:55:42,387
I wanted him
to make an effort,
1468
00:55:42,387 --> 00:55:44,520
not change
who he was completely.
1469
00:55:48,437 --> 00:55:49,612
There he is.
1470
00:55:49,612 --> 00:55:51,483
The MVP.
1471
00:55:51,483 --> 00:55:53,180
What are you doing?
Checking out
your hardware?
1472
00:55:53,180 --> 00:55:55,313
I just figured out
how these people
stay so rich.
1473
00:55:55,313 --> 00:55:56,967
They do everything
on the cheap.
1474
00:55:56,967 --> 00:55:58,534
Hear that? Plastic.
1475
00:56:00,057 --> 00:56:01,232
Huh.
1476
00:56:01,232 --> 00:56:03,060
Just enjoy it,
will you, please?
1477
00:56:03,060 --> 00:56:05,018
I mean, you kicked
some ass out there today,
1478
00:56:05,018 --> 00:56:06,803
and I think these people
are starting to like you.
1479
00:56:06,803 --> 00:56:08,718
Yeah. Yeah. Come on.
They're just being polite.
1480
00:56:08,718 --> 00:56:09,936
I'm serious.
1481
00:56:09,936 --> 00:56:12,983
Bill even has
a signature scent now.
1482
00:56:12,983 --> 00:56:15,289
Oh, yeah?
What brand?
He won't divulge.
1483
00:56:15,289 --> 00:56:16,856
- He won't divulge?
- Yeah.
1484
00:56:16,856 --> 00:56:18,902
- Salvo.
I wanna smell that.
1485
00:56:18,902 --> 00:56:20,556
Oh, my God.
I've been looking
all over for you.
1486
00:56:20,556 --> 00:56:22,558
Um, so,
my mom just
got invited
1487
00:56:22,558 --> 00:56:24,560
to be on MSNBC
in two hours.
1488
00:56:24,560 --> 00:56:25,691
- That's great.
- Yes.
1489
00:56:25,691 --> 00:56:27,519
Well, it would
be, but Tyler,
1490
00:56:27,519 --> 00:56:29,173
well, he's
in Sedona,
1491
00:56:29,173 --> 00:56:31,697
and I have
no one to do
my hair.
1492
00:56:31,697 --> 00:56:32,959
So we were thinking
1493
00:56:32,959 --> 00:56:34,396
maybe you could
help her out.
1494
00:56:34,396 --> 00:56:35,875
I mean, that's like
asking Van Gogh
1495
00:56:35,875 --> 00:56:37,137
to draw a smiley face.
1496
00:56:37,137 --> 00:56:39,531
Yes!
Great!
1497
00:56:39,531 --> 00:56:40,750
Mmm.
1498
00:56:43,143 --> 00:56:44,667
I'd be lying to you
if I told you
1499
00:56:44,667 --> 00:56:47,539
I didn't have my eyes
on your lustrous mane
all weekend.
1500
00:56:47,539 --> 00:56:50,237
It's nice to finally get
my hands up in here.
1501
00:56:50,237 --> 00:56:52,457
Hmm. I am
very grateful.
1502
00:56:53,023 --> 00:56:54,154
Ah.
1503
00:56:55,721 --> 00:56:58,071
Are those cigars?
1504
00:56:58,724 --> 00:56:59,725
Yeah.
1505
00:57:01,466 --> 00:57:02,554
Can I have one?
1506
00:57:03,120 --> 00:57:04,469
Oh, boy.
1507
00:57:04,469 --> 00:57:06,297
This day just
keeps getting
better and better.
1508
00:57:06,297 --> 00:57:07,864
Of course,
you can have one.
1509
00:57:07,864 --> 00:57:08,995
Be my guest.
1510
00:57:11,911 --> 00:57:12,956
Oh!
1511
00:57:14,044 --> 00:57:15,654
Only the best.
Can I have one?
1512
00:57:15,654 --> 00:57:17,003
Oh, please
join me.
1513
00:57:17,613 --> 00:57:18,614
Okay.
1514
00:57:22,095 --> 00:57:23,445
Fine.
1515
00:57:30,887 --> 00:57:31,975
Mmm.
1516
00:57:35,108 --> 00:57:36,196
You know,
I never met
a woman
1517
00:57:36,196 --> 00:57:39,461
who smokes
cigars before.
Yeah?
1518
00:57:39,461 --> 00:57:42,028
I got hooked
in the Navy.
Wait a minute.
1519
00:57:42,028 --> 00:57:44,466
- You're military?
- Mmm-hmm.
1520
00:57:44,466 --> 00:57:46,903
I thought you went to one
of those Ivy places.
1521
00:57:46,903 --> 00:57:48,644
I enlisted
after graduation.
1522
00:57:50,341 --> 00:57:52,909
I just felt
a duty to
my country.
1523
00:57:52,909 --> 00:57:55,128
But mostly, I did it
to piss off my parents.
1524
00:57:56,565 --> 00:57:57,522
You?
1525
00:57:58,175 --> 00:57:59,393
Army.
1526
00:57:59,393 --> 00:58:00,612
Combat?
1527
00:58:00,612 --> 00:58:02,135
- Cook.
- Ah!
1528
00:58:02,919 --> 00:58:04,311
Well, happy 4th to you.
1529
00:58:04,311 --> 00:58:07,097
You, too. Salud.
1530
00:58:07,097 --> 00:58:08,881
It's nice to have
another actual vet
1531
00:58:08,881 --> 00:58:10,753
out here to celebrate.
1532
00:58:13,799 --> 00:58:14,974
Oh!
1533
00:58:29,467 --> 00:58:31,034
Hey.
1534
00:58:31,034 --> 00:58:32,601
- How's it going?
- I can't hear anything.
1535
00:58:32,601 --> 00:58:34,516
So they're either
getting along,
1536
00:58:34,516 --> 00:58:37,606
or they're
quietly stabbing
each other.
1537
00:58:37,606 --> 00:58:39,477
Listen, I have
great news.
1538
00:58:39,477 --> 00:58:41,479
- What's up?
- Okay. So,
that decorator
1539
00:58:41,479 --> 00:58:43,829
that bought all my work,
they've already
placed all the pieces.
1540
00:58:43,829 --> 00:58:45,527
They can't say where
for privacy reasons,
1541
00:58:45,527 --> 00:58:47,703
but it probably means
that they're gonna
want a lot more.
1542
00:58:47,703 --> 00:58:49,748
- That's great!
- Isn't it?
1543
00:58:49,748 --> 00:58:51,924
Wait. Why is
your voice going up?
1544
00:58:51,924 --> 00:58:52,969
Why does your face
look like that?
1545
00:58:52,969 --> 00:58:54,840
What's going on?
1546
00:58:54,840 --> 00:58:55,928
Listen, babe,
1547
00:58:55,928 --> 00:58:58,322
I...
1548
00:58:58,322 --> 00:58:59,715
Voila.
1549
00:59:01,499 --> 00:59:04,197
Oh, what...
What is this? What...
1550
00:59:05,459 --> 00:59:08,332
This isn't at all
what I asked
you to do.
1551
00:59:08,332 --> 00:59:11,640
Well, yeah.
You see, I don't
really do requests.
1552
00:59:11,640 --> 00:59:13,424
The way I work is,
I look at your face,
1553
00:59:13,424 --> 00:59:16,079
I get a sense
of your aura,
who you are,
1554
00:59:16,079 --> 00:59:17,863
then I let that
dictate the style
1555
00:59:17,863 --> 00:59:19,822
that your personality demands.
1556
00:59:19,822 --> 00:59:22,041
I am about
to go on television,
1557
00:59:22,041 --> 00:59:24,957
and I just...
I just wanted to
look like myself.
1558
00:59:24,957 --> 00:59:26,611
Oh!
1559
00:59:26,611 --> 00:59:28,831
Bill,
do I look horrible?
1560
00:59:29,658 --> 00:59:31,442
- No, no, no.
No?
1561
00:59:31,442 --> 00:59:32,965
It is not
horrible. It's...
1562
00:59:32,965 --> 00:59:35,968
- Ellie?
- Um, I just
feel like...
1563
00:59:35,968 --> 00:59:38,101
- I don't know what it is.
- Dad, couldn't
you just ditch
1564
00:59:38,101 --> 00:59:40,103
the aura crap,
and give her
what she wanted?
1565
00:59:40,103 --> 00:59:41,974
Whoa! That's like
asking Caravaggio
to go back in,
1566
00:59:41,974 --> 00:59:43,759
and retouch up
the beheading
of Holofernes.
1567
00:59:43,759 --> 00:59:44,977
- The what a... Who?
- I don't do that.
1568
00:59:44,977 --> 00:59:46,500
Can we, as a family,
please force Doug
1569
00:59:46,500 --> 00:59:48,154
to stop wearing
that organic de...
1570
00:59:48,154 --> 00:59:50,113
Holy shit, Mom!
1571
00:59:50,113 --> 00:59:51,680
Oh.
1572
00:59:51,680 --> 00:59:53,203
Why do you have
the exact same
haircut as Salvo?
1573
00:59:53,203 --> 00:59:55,292
- That's it.
- Oh, my God.
1574
00:59:55,292 --> 00:59:56,423
- I don't think so.
You
guys look like
1575
00:59:56,423 --> 00:59:57,903
those weird
boy-girl twins
1576
00:59:57,903 --> 00:59:59,035
that, like,
just dress
the same.
1577
00:59:59,035 --> 01:00:00,819
Salvo, how could
you do this to me?
1578
01:00:00,819 --> 01:00:03,126
Wait, wait, wait.
First of all,
I didn't realize
1579
01:00:03,126 --> 01:00:04,518
I was doing anything.
1580
01:00:04,518 --> 01:00:06,956
I mean, to me,
you look powerful, gorgeous.
1581
01:00:06,956 --> 01:00:10,220
You look,
dare I even
say it, sexy.
1582
01:00:10,220 --> 01:00:11,308
Well, I am
supposed to go
1583
01:00:11,308 --> 01:00:12,875
on TV
in 10 minutes,
1584
01:00:12,875 --> 01:00:16,052
and you have made me look
like a bitter old Italian man!
1585
01:00:16,966 --> 01:00:18,881
Everybody,
please, get out.
1586
01:00:18,881 --> 01:00:20,970
Go, go, go,
go, go. Sweetheart.
1587
01:00:20,970 --> 01:00:23,233
Mommy,
maybe you...
Get out!
1588
01:00:23,233 --> 01:00:25,104
With all due
respect, Chris,
1589
01:00:25,104 --> 01:00:28,412
the existing policy
has been working
for two decades.
1590
01:00:28,412 --> 01:00:30,457
Why change now?
1591
01:00:30,457 --> 01:00:32,024
Ah, she's kicking ass.
1592
01:00:32,024 --> 01:00:33,635
She's pretty much
talking about you.
1593
01:00:33,635 --> 01:00:35,201
Oh, stop being so dramatic.
1594
01:00:35,201 --> 01:00:37,551
You don't
just make
major decisions
1595
01:00:37,551 --> 01:00:39,728
based on instincts.
1596
01:00:39,728 --> 01:00:41,077
You've gotta listen
1597
01:00:41,077 --> 01:00:42,426
to the people
you're servicing,
1598
01:00:42,426 --> 01:00:45,211
or someone's
gonna end
up dead.
1599
01:00:45,211 --> 01:00:46,865
All right.
Yeah. Well, okay.
1600
01:00:46,865 --> 01:00:48,084
Maybe you got a point.
Uh,
Senator MacArthur,
1601
01:00:48,084 --> 01:00:49,868
I'm actually...
I'm very sorry...
1602
01:00:49,868 --> 01:00:52,131
Sorry to cut
you short.
"Cut me short"?
1603
01:00:52,131 --> 01:00:54,090
Did you say
"cut me short"?
1604
01:00:54,090 --> 01:00:57,180
Is that some kind
of sick joke,
Chris, huh?
1605
01:00:58,268 --> 01:00:59,878
Uh, as you can see,
1606
01:00:59,878 --> 01:01:01,532
uh, very
strong feelings,
1607
01:01:01,532 --> 01:01:03,621
uh, coming out of this story.
1608
01:01:03,621 --> 01:01:05,971
We're gonna continue to follow
its developments for you.
1609
01:01:05,971 --> 01:01:08,234
Listen, when this is all over,
you better apologize.
1610
01:01:08,234 --> 01:01:09,671
Apologize?
For what?
1611
01:01:09,671 --> 01:01:11,107
For what?
She wanted
a touch up.
1612
01:01:11,107 --> 01:01:12,369
You made her look
like David Bowie.
1613
01:01:12,369 --> 01:01:14,240
What? Are you
kidding me?
I gave her a 'do
1614
01:01:14,240 --> 01:01:15,720
that was very
age appropriate
1615
01:01:15,720 --> 01:01:18,331
and dignified.
She should
be thanking me.
1616
01:01:18,331 --> 01:01:19,811
I wouldn't hold
my breath, Salvo.
1617
01:01:19,811 --> 01:01:21,117
Oh, is she really pissed off?
1618
01:01:21,552 --> 01:01:22,858
When I left,
1619
01:01:22,858 --> 01:01:24,773
she was googling
homemade poisons.
1620
01:01:24,773 --> 01:01:26,383
I don't know
if it was for Salvo
or for herself.
1621
01:01:26,383 --> 01:01:28,037
- Oh.
- I don't get it.
1622
01:01:28,037 --> 01:01:30,474
Most women would be honored
to have their hair done
1623
01:01:30,474 --> 01:01:33,738
by East Chicago's three-time
Hair Stylist of the Year.
1624
01:01:33,738 --> 01:01:35,392
That was in the 80's.
1625
01:01:35,392 --> 01:01:37,263
The 80's. So what?
That's the golden age
of hair.
1626
01:01:41,050 --> 01:01:42,965
Hi, Mom.
1627
01:01:42,965 --> 01:01:44,488
Would you go
talk to her?
Say something?
1628
01:01:44,488 --> 01:01:45,619
What am
I going to say?
1629
01:01:45,619 --> 01:01:47,143
Just say something,
all right?
1630
01:01:47,926 --> 01:01:49,275
Hey, uh, Tig.
1631
01:01:49,275 --> 01:01:51,147
Tig? Uh...
1632
01:01:51,147 --> 01:01:53,627
Tigger. Tigger,
I just want
1633
01:01:53,627 --> 01:01:55,238
to say
you looked
so good
1634
01:01:55,238 --> 01:01:56,630
up there
on the box.
1635
01:01:56,630 --> 01:01:58,807
Really, really.
Very, very dignified.
1636
01:01:58,807 --> 01:02:00,112
"On the box?"
1637
01:02:00,112 --> 01:02:03,550
Get on your feet,
and go over there.
1638
01:02:03,550 --> 01:02:05,030
- All right?
- All right.
1639
01:02:05,030 --> 01:02:06,597
Uh, Tig, uh...
1640
01:02:07,337 --> 01:02:08,991
I just wanna...
1641
01:02:10,079 --> 01:02:11,863
tell you I'm sorry
1642
01:02:11,863 --> 01:02:14,866
for giving you
a very high-quality hairdo
1643
01:02:14,866 --> 01:02:16,302
without your permission.
1644
01:02:17,434 --> 01:02:19,349
I heard the word "sorry."
1645
01:02:19,349 --> 01:02:21,307
But then you followed it up
1646
01:02:21,307 --> 01:02:23,875
with a compliment
to yourself.
1647
01:02:23,875 --> 01:02:25,790
Well, if I'm being
honest, I never
gave that style
1648
01:02:25,790 --> 01:02:27,879
to anybody else before.
1649
01:02:27,879 --> 01:02:29,359
So I really think
1650
01:02:29,359 --> 01:02:30,839
your aura commands
the respect
1651
01:02:30,839 --> 01:02:32,666
that I typically
only reserve for myself.
1652
01:02:32,666 --> 01:02:35,800
So I am sorry
that I, you know,
1653
01:02:35,800 --> 01:02:38,020
didn't do exactly
what you asked for.
1654
01:02:38,716 --> 01:02:39,761
Thanks.
1655
01:02:49,466 --> 01:02:50,684
You know?
Hey, you know what?
1656
01:02:50,684 --> 01:02:52,774
Let... Let me make
1657
01:02:52,774 --> 01:02:54,558
an offer. I would
love to make
1658
01:02:54,558 --> 01:02:57,909
a full Italian dinner
for everybody.
1659
01:02:57,909 --> 01:02:59,215
- That sounds so nice.
- How about that?
1660
01:02:59,215 --> 01:03:00,607
And also
as a thank you,
1661
01:03:00,607 --> 01:03:02,305
and with great appreciation,
1662
01:03:02,305 --> 01:03:04,873
for letting us stay
in this beautiful home.
1663
01:03:04,873 --> 01:03:06,439
That won't be necessary.
1664
01:03:06,439 --> 01:03:08,311
We don't keep
a lot of food here
1665
01:03:08,311 --> 01:03:10,792
and the markets are
closed for the holiday.
1666
01:03:10,792 --> 01:03:12,141
Don't worry.
1667
01:03:12,141 --> 01:03:14,012
A Maniscalco
always finds a way
1668
01:03:14,012 --> 01:03:15,448
to feed
his family, right?
1669
01:03:15,448 --> 01:03:17,015
Yep. You got it.
1670
01:03:17,015 --> 01:03:18,625
I think it's
a wonderful idea.
1671
01:03:18,625 --> 01:03:20,497
I mean, if you look
like an Italian man,
1672
01:03:20,497 --> 01:03:22,325
why not eat like one,
huh?
1673
01:03:22,325 --> 01:03:24,153
No, I mean,
if you...
I meant Italian...
1674
01:03:24,153 --> 01:03:25,807
Shut up, Bill.
1675
01:03:25,807 --> 01:03:28,418
I'll be sleeping
on the couch tonight.
1676
01:03:35,294 --> 01:03:36,426
Everybody likes to talk
1677
01:03:36,426 --> 01:03:38,907
about how bad
social media is.
1678
01:03:44,173 --> 01:03:45,348
But in this case,
1679
01:03:45,348 --> 01:03:48,003
it really worked out
for my dad.
1680
01:03:48,003 --> 01:03:50,614
Senator Tigger MacArthur
is going viral today,
1681
01:03:50,614 --> 01:03:53,269
and for the first time,
for all the right reasons.
1682
01:03:53,269 --> 01:03:55,445
This new haircut
is giving me like...
1683
01:03:55,445 --> 01:03:57,229
G.I. Jane two months
out of boot camp.
1684
01:03:57,229 --> 01:03:58,840
It's giving me
gender fluidity.
1685
01:03:58,840 --> 01:04:00,711
It's giving me fresh,
hot, gorgeous.
1686
01:04:00,711 --> 01:04:01,973
Whoever did that haircut,
1687
01:04:03,322 --> 01:04:06,238
America thanks you. Ah!
1688
01:04:06,238 --> 01:04:08,980
Now that
Tigger's approval rating
was through the roof,
1689
01:04:08,980 --> 01:04:11,896
she was happy to let
my dad back under hers.
1690
01:04:11,896 --> 01:04:15,291
So good.
So, this is delicious.
1691
01:04:15,291 --> 01:04:16,945
I can't believe
1692
01:04:16,945 --> 01:04:18,207
that you put
this all together
1693
01:04:18,207 --> 01:04:19,948
from what we have
in the kitchen.
1694
01:04:19,948 --> 01:04:22,167
My guess is he raided
the kitchen over at The Shack.
1695
01:04:22,167 --> 01:04:24,082
So, you might wanna call
1696
01:04:24,082 --> 01:04:26,171
Gloria over there,
see if you got
some inventory.
1697
01:04:26,868 --> 01:04:28,304
Mmm, mmm.
1698
01:04:28,304 --> 01:04:29,827
What do you call
this again, Salvo?
1699
01:04:35,528 --> 01:04:36,834
It is delicious.
1700
01:04:36,834 --> 01:04:38,705
I'm going for seconds.
Don't tell my trainer.
1701
01:04:38,705 --> 01:04:41,491
It's really good.
I just wish you hadn't used
my bowls.
1702
01:04:41,491 --> 01:04:43,623
Well, you know,
I used your bowls, Doug,
1703
01:04:43,623 --> 01:04:46,191
because I wanted
to add a special
1704
01:04:46,191 --> 01:04:49,716
spiritual reverberation
to the meal.
1705
01:04:49,716 --> 01:04:52,023
So, that's why,
- you know?
- Okay.
1706
01:04:52,023 --> 01:04:53,851
- Yeah.
- So, thank you
1707
01:04:53,851 --> 01:04:55,374
for that
- contribution.
- Okay.
1708
01:04:55,374 --> 01:04:57,463
Salvo, it's delicious.
Delicious.
1709
01:04:57,463 --> 01:04:59,204
Listen, given everything
you're doing for my son,
1710
01:04:59,204 --> 01:05:00,814
this is the least
I can do. Oh.
1711
01:05:00,814 --> 01:05:03,643
And I just wanna
say something that
1712
01:05:04,427 --> 01:05:05,776
my father used to say.
1713
01:05:09,736 --> 01:05:10,999
The translation is,
1714
01:05:10,999 --> 01:05:13,001
"The family isn't
just one important thing,
1715
01:05:13,001 --> 01:05:14,785
"it's everything."
1716
01:05:14,785 --> 01:05:16,918
And I like
to toast to that.
Lovely.
1717
01:05:16,918 --> 01:05:18,832
Salud!Salud!
1718
01:05:18,832 --> 01:05:20,922
To everything. Salud.
1719
01:05:20,922 --> 01:05:22,532
- Cheers, everybody.
Well said.
1720
01:05:22,532 --> 01:05:23,837
Watch it, watch it.
1721
01:05:23,837 --> 01:05:25,317
Oh, collision!
1722
01:05:25,317 --> 01:05:27,015
Cut him off.
- Time for some
more vino, huh?
1723
01:05:27,015 --> 01:05:29,060
Oh, yes.
- When in Rome.
1724
01:05:29,060 --> 01:05:30,148
Because,
you know,
1725
01:05:30,148 --> 01:05:31,367
you guys
are Italian.
1726
01:05:33,804 --> 01:05:36,372
You got a problem
- with Italians, Bill?
- Yeah, Bill.
1727
01:05:41,551 --> 01:05:44,249
Who got you?
Come on, Bill!
1728
01:05:44,249 --> 01:05:45,990
I thought he was
serious.
1729
01:05:57,175 --> 01:05:58,960
What's this?
1730
01:05:58,960 --> 01:06:00,265
You know, just...
1731
01:06:00,265 --> 01:06:01,875
...the sexiest way
I can think of
1732
01:06:01,875 --> 01:06:03,138
to say thank you.
1733
01:06:03,138 --> 01:06:04,356
Here? Are you
kidding me?
1734
01:06:04,356 --> 01:06:05,836
They're in
the next room.
1735
01:06:05,836 --> 01:06:07,881
You know
I'm a screamer.
I know.
1736
01:06:07,881 --> 01:06:09,057
Just come
over here.
1737
01:06:12,060 --> 01:06:14,410
Oh! Oh, yeah.
1738
01:06:20,068 --> 01:06:21,591
Hmm?
1739
01:06:23,897 --> 01:06:25,464
What, baby? What?
- Oh, we got
to go inside.
1740
01:06:25,464 --> 01:06:27,814
- I'm getting eaten alive.
- What? What are
you talking about?
1741
01:06:27,814 --> 01:06:28,990
- I saw a raccoon.
- Is that a safe word?
1742
01:06:28,990 --> 01:06:29,947
There's raccoons everywhere.
Raccoon?
1743
01:06:29,947 --> 01:06:31,731
- Yeah.
- Where? What raccoon?
1744
01:06:31,731 --> 01:06:33,690
There's
- some wildlife.
- Honey, there's no raccoons.
1745
01:06:33,690 --> 01:06:35,213
Mmm.
1746
01:06:35,213 --> 01:06:37,781
Seeing
my future in-laws eat
1747
01:06:37,781 --> 01:06:41,524
their family pet is
is as close to an acid trip
1748
01:06:41,524 --> 01:06:43,265
as I ever wanna be.
1749
01:06:43,265 --> 01:06:44,831
Here comes the airplane.
1750
01:06:46,572 --> 01:06:48,487
Ah, no!
1751
01:06:48,487 --> 01:06:51,055
This Italian food's
going to my head.
1752
01:06:59,716 --> 01:07:03,763
This was proof
the man was diabolical.
1753
01:07:03,763 --> 01:07:05,722
I murdered Sergeant Feathers.
1754
01:07:12,424 --> 01:07:14,644
I can't believe
1755
01:07:14,644 --> 01:07:15,775
you fed 'em
a peacock.
1756
01:07:15,775 --> 01:07:17,429
How could
you do this?
Easy.
1757
01:07:17,429 --> 01:07:19,692
My recipe called for chicken.
All the stores were closed.
1758
01:07:19,692 --> 01:07:21,868
So what does a great chef do?
He improvises.
1759
01:07:21,868 --> 01:07:23,653
By murdering
their beloved mascot?
1760
01:07:23,653 --> 01:07:25,872
They still got
three left. Are
you kidding me?
1761
01:07:25,872 --> 01:07:27,396
Where we come from,
it's called,
1762
01:07:27,396 --> 01:07:28,745
"You gotta do what you gotta
do to feed the family."
1763
01:07:28,745 --> 01:07:30,529
It's called
the peasant mentality.
1764
01:07:30,529 --> 01:07:31,748
Look around, Dad.
1765
01:07:31,748 --> 01:07:32,792
These people
aren't peasants.
1766
01:07:32,792 --> 01:07:34,011
And you thought
I was crazy
1767
01:07:34,011 --> 01:07:35,317
for worrying
that you were gonna
1768
01:07:35,317 --> 01:07:37,928
make us look like
some bad Italian stereotype?
1769
01:07:37,928 --> 01:07:39,799
Come on. You know
I'm not doing that.
1770
01:07:39,799 --> 01:07:41,540
Are you blind? Look at...
1771
01:07:41,540 --> 01:07:43,020
We are
in the woods
1772
01:07:43,020 --> 01:07:44,413
in the middle
of the night
1773
01:07:44,413 --> 01:07:46,893
trying to get rid
of a freakin' body.
1774
01:07:46,893 --> 01:07:48,025
That's right.
1775
01:07:48,025 --> 01:07:49,809
To help me get
rid of the evidence.
1776
01:07:49,809 --> 01:07:51,594
Why does it seem like
you've done this before?
1777
01:07:54,336 --> 01:07:55,598
- Stupid bird!
- It's dead!
1778
01:07:55,598 --> 01:07:56,773
What are
you doing?
1779
01:07:56,773 --> 01:07:58,122
Look at
its feathers.
1780
01:08:04,955 --> 01:08:06,043
Night cologne?
1781
01:08:16,227 --> 01:08:18,447
Listen, son,
1782
01:08:18,447 --> 01:08:21,276
I was just trying
to help you win
this family over
1783
01:08:21,276 --> 01:08:23,756
by making
a good meal,
that's all.
1784
01:08:23,756 --> 01:08:25,062
Well, if this is
your idea of help,
1785
01:08:25,062 --> 01:08:26,281
I think I'm good, Dad.
1786
01:08:26,759 --> 01:08:28,761
Jesus.
1787
01:08:28,761 --> 01:08:29,893
Why do I feel
like you're trying
1788
01:08:29,893 --> 01:08:31,373
to wreck this
for me?
Wreck it?
1789
01:08:31,373 --> 01:08:33,549
I'm just making an effort
like you asked me to do.
1790
01:08:33,549 --> 01:08:34,811
Well, it turns out
the only thing worse
1791
01:08:34,811 --> 01:08:37,422
than you not trying
is you trying.
1792
01:08:37,422 --> 01:08:39,685
Well, maybe to you,
but to me, these people,
1793
01:08:39,685 --> 01:08:41,339
they seem
to like me.
Like you?
1794
01:08:41,339 --> 01:08:43,689
If I told these people
the truth about what happened,
1795
01:08:43,689 --> 01:08:44,908
they'd never
have us back here.
1796
01:08:48,825 --> 01:08:51,654
You know, why did
I let Ellie convince me
to bring you here?
1797
01:08:51,654 --> 01:08:53,090
What do you mean,
"bring me here"?
1798
01:08:53,090 --> 01:08:54,700
You're the one
who invited me,
didn't you?
1799
01:08:54,700 --> 01:08:57,007
Yeah, I invited you
to get grandma's ring.
1800
01:08:57,007 --> 01:08:59,401
I didn't know you were
gonna spend the whole time
sabotaging me.
1801
01:08:59,401 --> 01:09:01,011
What are you
talking about,
"sabotaging"?
1802
01:09:01,011 --> 01:09:02,447
How could you say that?
1803
01:09:02,447 --> 01:09:03,970
Everything I'm
doing for you,
1804
01:09:03,970 --> 01:09:06,234
that I've ever done
for you is for
your own good,
1805
01:09:06,234 --> 01:09:07,844
to give you
a better life.
1806
01:09:07,844 --> 01:09:09,672
You love to say that,
but now that
I'm gonna get it,
1807
01:09:09,672 --> 01:09:11,282
it's like you're
trying to stop it.
1808
01:09:11,282 --> 01:09:13,110
Trying to
stop what?
1809
01:09:13,110 --> 01:09:14,546
I'm trying to make sure
that you don't make
an ass out of yourself
1810
01:09:14,546 --> 01:09:16,026
by trying to be
somebody you're not.
1811
01:09:16,026 --> 01:09:17,201
You're your own person.
1812
01:09:17,201 --> 01:09:18,724
You're your own man.
Be your own man.
1813
01:09:18,724 --> 01:09:20,596
Otherwise,
it's embarrassing.
1814
01:09:20,596 --> 01:09:22,075
Oh, man.
You know what?
1815
01:09:22,075 --> 01:09:24,034
This is your problem.
You're so focused
1816
01:09:24,034 --> 01:09:26,428
on other people
being embarrassed,
1817
01:09:26,428 --> 01:09:29,387
you can't see who
the most embarrassing
person is.
1818
01:09:29,387 --> 01:09:30,519
It's you.
1819
01:09:32,129 --> 01:09:34,131
That's really
what you think?
1820
01:09:38,048 --> 01:09:39,745
Let's just go
to sleep,
all right?
1821
01:10:15,738 --> 01:10:18,828
The next morning,
it was the 4th of July,
1822
01:10:18,828 --> 01:10:20,177
which made sense,
'cause I was
1823
01:10:20,177 --> 01:10:22,919
finally getting
my independence.
1824
01:10:22,919 --> 01:10:25,400
It was an amazing feeling.
1825
01:10:25,400 --> 01:10:28,011
But much like
my signature scent,
1826
01:10:28,011 --> 01:10:29,534
it was a little bittersweet.
1827
01:10:31,580 --> 01:10:33,756
But this was
the beginning of my new life.
1828
01:10:34,713 --> 01:10:37,020
And now that I had the ring,
1829
01:10:37,020 --> 01:10:38,717
it was time to make my move.
1830
01:10:44,897 --> 01:10:46,464
I've given this
a lot of thought
1831
01:10:46,464 --> 01:10:48,118
over the last
few days,
1832
01:10:48,118 --> 01:10:50,381
and on top
of accepting
1833
01:10:50,381 --> 01:10:52,514
your very generous offer
1834
01:10:52,514 --> 01:10:55,212
to run the Barrymore Hotel,
1835
01:10:55,212 --> 01:10:58,215
I would also like
to ask your permission
1836
01:10:58,215 --> 01:11:00,348
to propose to Ellie.
1837
01:11:02,654 --> 01:11:04,090
Oh.
1838
01:11:04,090 --> 01:11:06,092
Ah, that doesn't...
1839
01:11:07,268 --> 01:11:08,660
I...
1840
01:11:11,010 --> 01:11:13,012
We're kidding!
1841
01:11:14,840 --> 01:11:16,668
- We got him.
- Ho! You
should've seen
1842
01:11:16,668 --> 01:11:19,497
the look
on your face. Priceless.
1843
01:11:19,497 --> 01:11:21,238
Our answer is
an emphatic...
1844
01:11:21,238 --> 01:11:23,109
Yes!
- Oh, God.
1845
01:11:23,109 --> 01:11:25,808
Gee, Sebastian,
we just love you.
1846
01:11:25,808 --> 01:11:27,375
And we just...
We cannot
1847
01:11:27,375 --> 01:11:29,072
wait for you
and Ellie
1848
01:11:29,072 --> 01:11:30,769
to join the party
in D.C.
1849
01:11:30,769 --> 01:11:33,206
Yes.
And this is perfect.
1850
01:11:33,206 --> 01:11:36,209
We're doing our family
Christmas card photo today.
1851
01:11:36,209 --> 01:11:38,603
You can propose there,
and then be in it!
1852
01:11:38,603 --> 01:11:41,693
Oh, thank God.
I was so nervous
1853
01:11:41,693 --> 01:11:43,913
how you guys would react
to this, you know?
1854
01:11:43,913 --> 01:11:46,307
Especially, what's happened
this weekend with my father.
1855
01:11:46,307 --> 01:11:49,310
No. That dinner
was wonderful.
1856
01:11:52,617 --> 01:11:54,532
- Yeah.
- Fantastic. Memorable.
1857
01:11:54,532 --> 01:11:56,273
Chicken al cavone.
1858
01:11:56,273 --> 01:11:58,362
Fantastic.
1859
01:11:58,362 --> 01:11:59,494
- Never had it.
Terrific.
1860
01:11:59,494 --> 01:12:00,930
Yes.
- Don't know what's in it.
1861
01:12:02,453 --> 01:12:04,150
What the hell kind
of elf are you
supposed to be?
1862
01:12:04,150 --> 01:12:07,240
I'm representing
all the holiday traditions.
1863
01:12:07,240 --> 01:12:08,764
Nice.
1864
01:12:08,764 --> 01:12:10,200
You're as plump
as a little partridge.
1865
01:12:10,200 --> 01:12:12,637
Yes.
1866
01:12:12,637 --> 01:12:14,335
Oh, oh.
1867
01:12:14,335 --> 01:12:15,684
Hey, you fit
right in.
1868
01:12:15,684 --> 01:12:17,033
Uh, I don't know.
1869
01:12:17,033 --> 01:12:18,382
Can I propose first
1870
01:12:18,382 --> 01:12:19,949
and then put on
the tree costume?
1871
01:12:21,167 --> 01:12:22,647
What's
- the difference?
- Oh, E... Ellie.
1872
01:12:22,647 --> 01:12:24,606
Ellie, where's
your costume?
We... We can't
1873
01:12:24,606 --> 01:12:25,824
do this without
our reindeer.
1874
01:12:25,824 --> 01:12:27,391
I'm sorry, but I'm
not gonna be taking
1875
01:12:27,391 --> 01:12:29,262
the photo this year,
because I no longer
1876
01:12:29,262 --> 01:12:30,481
wanna be a part
of this family.
1877
01:12:30,481 --> 01:12:33,005
Also, Sebastian
isn't taking the job,
1878
01:12:33,005 --> 01:12:34,833
we are not
moving to D.C.
1879
01:12:34,833 --> 01:12:36,226
and we're not gonna
spend any more time
1880
01:12:36,226 --> 01:12:37,923
with these manipulators.
So, let's go.
1881
01:12:37,923 --> 01:12:39,795
- What happened?
- What's happened?
1882
01:12:39,795 --> 01:12:42,493
Dad, what do all
of your hotels
have in common?
1883
01:12:42,493 --> 01:12:44,930
Five-star experience
at a three-star price.
1884
01:12:44,930 --> 01:12:48,064
No. The answer is
1885
01:12:48,064 --> 01:12:49,718
their lobby art.
1886
01:12:49,718 --> 01:12:50,849
- Oh.
- Shall we start
1887
01:12:50,849 --> 01:12:52,285
with the Barrymore
Hotel?
Uh-oh.
1888
01:12:52,285 --> 01:12:53,983
- Shall we? Come on.
- No, I don't
need to see...
1889
01:12:53,983 --> 01:12:56,377
Oh, look.
Do you notice
anything familiar
1890
01:12:56,377 --> 01:12:57,813
- about the walls?
- Well, no.
1891
01:12:57,813 --> 01:12:59,597
That's
my painting,
isn't it?
1892
01:12:59,597 --> 01:13:01,338
Well,
what's that?
My painting.
1893
01:13:01,338 --> 01:13:02,600
My painting.
1894
01:13:02,600 --> 01:13:04,733
Oh, yeah,
my painting.
All right.
1895
01:13:04,733 --> 01:13:07,083
It was
your dad's idea!
1896
01:13:07,083 --> 01:13:08,476
- Wait. Just wait.
- It was
your dad's idea.
1897
01:13:08,476 --> 01:13:10,086
No. One second here.
It was him.
1898
01:13:10,086 --> 01:13:11,609
I just wanna know
how you found out.
1899
01:13:11,609 --> 01:13:13,176
Sebastian,
did you tell her?
1900
01:13:14,960 --> 01:13:15,961
What?
1901
01:13:16,745 --> 01:13:18,181
You knew
about this?
1902
01:13:19,661 --> 01:13:22,925
Well, no,
I kind of saw...
1903
01:13:22,925 --> 01:13:25,318
I can't believe that
you all did this to me.
1904
01:13:25,318 --> 01:13:27,233
Ellie, we can explain.
1905
01:13:27,233 --> 01:13:28,626
- We can explain.
- No, Mom!
1906
01:13:28,626 --> 01:13:31,455
This whole time
I thought I was
selling my art
1907
01:13:31,455 --> 01:13:33,414
to this cool new designer,
1908
01:13:33,414 --> 01:13:35,590
when really
my parents
just hired them
1909
01:13:35,590 --> 01:13:36,678
to buy my work.
1910
01:13:36,678 --> 01:13:37,896
No, no, no, darling.
1911
01:13:37,896 --> 01:13:39,245
No, that's
not... No.
1912
01:13:39,245 --> 01:13:41,813
Yes. Yes, that is
technically true.
1913
01:13:41,813 --> 01:13:44,120
I thought
I was killing it
in the art world!
1914
01:13:44,120 --> 01:13:46,035
We just wanted you
to get a jump-start
1915
01:13:46,035 --> 01:13:47,863
in a really,
really rough business.
1916
01:13:47,863 --> 01:13:49,299
It's so terrible
out there.
You know how rough it is.
1917
01:13:49,299 --> 01:13:50,692
It's what you
always do.
You're always...
1918
01:13:50,692 --> 01:13:51,997
You're just stealing
our lessons.
1919
01:13:51,997 --> 01:13:54,435
You bribe our way
onto sports teams,
1920
01:13:54,435 --> 01:13:56,219
you rewrite
our college essays,
1921
01:13:56,219 --> 01:13:58,134
you hire famous rappers
1922
01:13:58,134 --> 01:13:59,657
to emcee
our birthday parties.
1923
01:13:59,657 --> 01:14:01,180
That was also
- not my idea.
- Okay. So what?
1924
01:14:01,180 --> 01:14:02,530
Now you don't
like Warren G?
1925
01:14:02,530 --> 01:14:03,879
Look, you guys are
great parents.
1926
01:14:03,879 --> 01:14:06,011
Don't let her guilt you
into changing your ways.
1927
01:14:06,011 --> 01:14:07,926
All I have ever wanted
was to feel like
1928
01:14:07,926 --> 01:14:10,276
I was accomplishing
things on my own.
1929
01:14:12,191 --> 01:14:13,671
And I can't believe
that you just didn't
1930
01:14:13,671 --> 01:14:14,803
say something to me.
1931
01:14:16,892 --> 01:14:18,720
Sweetheart, we, um...
1932
01:14:18,720 --> 01:14:21,418
Oh, my gosh.
I told you.
Well, yeah.
1933
01:14:26,292 --> 01:14:27,903
I'd been
so focused on trying
1934
01:14:27,903 --> 01:14:29,948
to please Ellie's family,
1935
01:14:29,948 --> 01:14:32,690
that I lost sight
of what I came here to do.
1936
01:14:32,690 --> 01:14:35,824
I had to find Ellie
and make this right.
1937
01:14:35,824 --> 01:14:38,435
And I knew exactly
where she'd be.
1938
01:14:38,435 --> 01:14:39,828
Permission
to approach?
1939
01:14:59,195 --> 01:15:00,762
Place could use
a remodel, huh?
1940
01:15:06,376 --> 01:15:08,204
I'm sorry.
1941
01:15:08,204 --> 01:15:09,597
I should've said something.
1942
01:15:10,511 --> 01:15:11,860
Yeah, you should have.
1943
01:15:13,905 --> 01:15:16,386
Is there anything I could do
to make it up to you?
1944
01:15:16,386 --> 01:15:19,737
Just being in this family
1945
01:15:19,737 --> 01:15:22,000
is like bowling
with bumpers.
1946
01:15:22,000 --> 01:15:23,349
It's like,
1947
01:15:23,349 --> 01:15:25,613
no matter what I try to do,
1948
01:15:25,613 --> 01:15:27,179
they're always
setting up rails
1949
01:15:27,179 --> 01:15:28,529
to make sure that I win.
1950
01:15:28,529 --> 01:15:31,401
And sometimes,
I just want to free bowl,
1951
01:15:31,401 --> 01:15:32,707
because then,
that way
1952
01:15:32,707 --> 01:15:36,406
if I bowl a strike,
then that's my strike.
1953
01:15:36,406 --> 01:15:38,451
But if I gutter it,
then that's on me too.
1954
01:15:38,451 --> 01:15:39,801
I understand.
1955
01:15:39,801 --> 01:15:42,107
You want to work hard
for your own success.
1956
01:15:42,107 --> 01:15:43,718
Yes.
1957
01:15:43,718 --> 01:15:46,068
Do you remember
when you told me
the story
1958
01:15:46,068 --> 01:15:48,244
about how Salvo taught
you how to swim?
1959
01:15:48,244 --> 01:15:50,855
He dropped me in the middle
of Lake Michigan in November.
1960
01:15:52,857 --> 01:15:54,990
Listen, I know
he's a pain in the ass,
1961
01:15:56,600 --> 01:15:59,603
but he also raised you
to be tough and resourceful.
1962
01:15:59,603 --> 01:16:02,432
And those are two things
I really love about you.
1963
01:16:04,216 --> 01:16:05,740
And I kind of wish
that my parents had
1964
01:16:05,740 --> 01:16:07,263
raised me more like that.
1965
01:16:08,786 --> 01:16:10,092
And that was the moment
1966
01:16:10,092 --> 01:16:13,574
everything finally started
to make sense.
1967
01:16:13,574 --> 01:16:15,706
Here I was,
planning to propose
1968
01:16:15,706 --> 01:16:18,317
to the girl of my dreams,
1969
01:16:18,317 --> 01:16:22,626
and I was gonna do it
without the man who raised me?
1970
01:16:22,626 --> 01:16:25,498
I realized
I had everything I wanted,
1971
01:16:25,498 --> 01:16:27,457
but not what I needed.
1972
01:16:27,457 --> 01:16:28,632
I gotta go
do something first.
1973
01:16:30,199 --> 01:16:31,287
What? What?
1974
01:16:31,287 --> 01:16:32,984
Trust me.
Meet me
at dinner.
1975
01:16:35,552 --> 01:16:37,075
How's he doing
back there?
1976
01:16:40,165 --> 01:16:42,037
Keep going,
- bro, I'm fine.
Okay.
1977
01:16:45,257 --> 01:16:47,433
There it is. That's it.
1978
01:16:47,433 --> 01:16:49,044
I got you, mi hermano.
1979
01:16:50,611 --> 01:16:51,742
You go get him.
1980
01:16:54,484 --> 01:16:56,834
Hey, stop!
You can't be out here!
1981
01:16:56,834 --> 01:17:00,055
Sir, you have
to get off the tarmac! Sir!
1982
01:17:00,055 --> 01:17:01,491
Stop the plane.
1983
01:17:15,592 --> 01:17:16,637
Son...
1984
01:17:18,203 --> 01:17:19,640
what are you doing?
1985
01:17:19,640 --> 01:17:21,380
You look like
you swam here.
1986
01:17:21,380 --> 01:17:23,078
I came here
to tell you
1987
01:17:23,078 --> 01:17:24,645
that you're
stubborn,
you're cheap,
1988
01:17:25,297 --> 01:17:26,995
you're obnoxious,
1989
01:17:26,995 --> 01:17:28,344
you're severely judgmental...
1990
01:17:28,344 --> 01:17:29,432
Wait, wait.
This is what
1991
01:17:29,432 --> 01:17:30,651
I'm getting off
the plane for?
1992
01:17:30,651 --> 01:17:32,261
Dad, but the truth is
1993
01:17:32,261 --> 01:17:35,568
all those quirks are
part of what makes you
the greatest dad
1994
01:17:35,568 --> 01:17:36,918
that I could
ever hope for.
1995
01:17:38,441 --> 01:17:40,269
Okay. Now
I'm listening.
1996
01:17:40,269 --> 01:17:42,227
Now, it ain't
always easy
being your son,
1997
01:17:42,227 --> 01:17:45,709
but the way you raised me
made me the man I am today.
1998
01:17:45,709 --> 01:17:48,320
The same man,
for whatever the reason,
1999
01:17:48,320 --> 01:17:50,061
Ellie seems to love.
2000
01:17:50,061 --> 01:17:52,368
Could never figure
that one out, either,
but you know...
2001
01:17:52,368 --> 01:17:53,456
You got your
grandmother's ring.
2002
01:17:53,456 --> 01:17:54,675
What else
you need
from me?
2003
01:17:54,675 --> 01:17:57,155
I need you to be part
of our lives, Dad.
2004
01:17:57,155 --> 01:17:58,504
But you said
I was embarrassing.
2005
01:17:58,504 --> 01:17:59,984
You are.
2006
01:17:59,984 --> 01:18:01,638
You haven't
changed one bit
since I was a kid.
2007
01:18:01,638 --> 01:18:03,640
You know who did?
I changed.
2008
01:18:03,640 --> 01:18:05,381
And I think somewhere
along the way,
2009
01:18:06,164 --> 01:18:07,426
I forgot.
2010
01:18:08,558 --> 01:18:10,212
You're my hero, man.
2011
01:18:12,083 --> 01:18:15,043
- Stop.
- No. You are.
2012
01:18:15,043 --> 01:18:16,784
All the stuff
you sacrifice.
2013
01:18:16,784 --> 01:18:19,221
Everything that's
good in my life,
I owe it to you.
2014
01:18:20,135 --> 01:18:21,963
No. It's... it's...
2015
01:18:21,963 --> 01:18:24,748
It's that good things
happen to good kids.
2016
01:18:24,748 --> 01:18:26,315
You're a good boy.
2017
01:18:26,315 --> 01:18:28,752
It's just that
I've been acting
crazier lately,
2018
01:18:28,752 --> 01:18:30,754
because... I... I...
2019
01:18:30,754 --> 01:18:33,801
I was so poor,
for me to give you
a better life,
2020
01:18:33,801 --> 01:18:35,280
and now that
you're going to have it,
2021
01:18:35,280 --> 01:18:38,109
and I'm afraid that
once you marry Ellie,
2022
01:18:38,109 --> 01:18:40,372
I'm gonna lose
the only family I got.
2023
01:18:40,372 --> 01:18:41,983
Oh, Dad, you're
not gonna lose me.
Don't worry.
2024
01:18:41,983 --> 01:18:43,636
Stop... don't cry, Dad.
2025
01:18:43,636 --> 01:18:45,377
You're going
to make me cry.
Well, I can't help it.
2026
01:18:46,204 --> 01:18:47,989
I love you, man.
2027
01:18:47,989 --> 01:18:49,251
- I love you, Dad.
- I love you too, kid.
2028
01:18:49,251 --> 01:18:50,426
Love you.
2029
01:18:58,086 --> 01:19:00,001
Are you crying?
2030
01:19:00,001 --> 01:19:01,219
- What?
- Are you crying?
2031
01:19:01,219 --> 01:19:02,655
Hell, no.
2032
01:19:02,655 --> 01:19:05,093
I never cry!
2033
01:19:15,756 --> 01:19:16,844
Wow!
2034
01:19:18,193 --> 01:19:20,108
I don't know
why I was
so scared.
2035
01:19:21,587 --> 01:19:23,546
This is really beautiful.
Yeah.
2036
01:19:24,982 --> 01:19:26,288
Oh, my God!
We're going down!
2037
01:19:26,288 --> 01:19:27,724
- Oh, my God!
- I'm just kidding.
2038
01:19:27,724 --> 01:19:29,682
I'm going
to kill you, Luck!
2039
01:19:35,253 --> 01:19:36,689
Ladies
and gentlemen, welcome
2040
01:19:36,689 --> 01:19:38,866
to this year's
4th of July clambake.
2041
01:19:38,866 --> 01:19:40,650
Well, so far,
2042
01:19:40,650 --> 01:19:42,783
a very
pleasant evening.
2043
01:19:42,783 --> 01:19:45,089
Mmm-hmm.
- Thank you,
my darling.
2044
01:19:45,089 --> 01:19:46,569
Such a treat.
2045
01:19:46,569 --> 01:19:49,267
Hats off to that
new chef, huh?
2046
01:19:49,267 --> 01:19:52,053
Outstanding.
Of course, you can't
go wrong with lobster.
2047
01:19:52,053 --> 01:19:53,228
Oh, sweetie,
2048
01:19:53,228 --> 01:19:55,099
did you lose
your appetite?
2049
01:19:55,099 --> 01:19:56,100
Do you wanna
buy me one?
2050
01:19:58,711 --> 01:20:00,191
All right,
ladies and gentlemen.
2051
01:20:00,191 --> 01:20:02,237
I hope you brought
your dancing shoes tonight...
2052
01:20:02,237 --> 01:20:03,673
Because...
2053
01:20:03,673 --> 01:20:05,980
Thank you, Mr. Woodrow.
Because we've got a real treat
2054
01:20:05,980 --> 01:20:07,590
for you guys tonight.
2055
01:20:07,590 --> 01:20:10,375
Please welcome, all the way
from Chicago, Illinois,
2056
01:20:10,375 --> 01:20:12,943
Sebastian Maniscalco.
2057
01:20:16,904 --> 01:20:19,602
Ellie Collins,
you asked for this.
2058
01:20:19,602 --> 01:20:21,517
I wonder what
this is about.
I don't know.
2059
01:20:26,087 --> 01:20:27,958
Eleanor Mallory Collins.
2060
01:20:27,958 --> 01:20:29,264
What are you doing?
2061
01:20:30,961 --> 01:20:32,528
Exactly what
I came here to do.
2062
01:20:34,791 --> 01:20:35,966
Now, my father
said something
2063
01:20:35,966 --> 01:20:38,012
really profound
this weekend.
2064
01:20:38,012 --> 01:20:40,710
It's an old
Italian saying,
2065
01:20:42,190 --> 01:20:45,236
"Family isn't
one important thing,
2066
01:20:47,064 --> 01:20:48,152
"it's everything."
2067
01:20:50,111 --> 01:20:52,200
Now, yeah, they could
be embarrassing.
2068
01:20:53,157 --> 01:20:54,332
Smothering.
2069
01:20:54,332 --> 01:20:56,117
Sometimes maybe
express their love
2070
01:20:56,117 --> 01:20:58,728
in ways
that are pretty...
Messed up.
2071
01:20:58,728 --> 01:21:00,164
Exactly.
Yeah.
2072
01:21:01,905 --> 01:21:04,516
But at the end
of the day they're...
2073
01:21:04,516 --> 01:21:06,867
they're just trying to do
what's best for us.
2074
01:21:08,172 --> 01:21:09,608
Because they love us.
2075
01:21:12,481 --> 01:21:14,091
Now here,
in this moment,
2076
01:21:14,091 --> 01:21:16,006
in front
of our families...
2077
01:21:21,055 --> 01:21:22,230
Ellie...
2078
01:21:23,535 --> 01:21:24,841
will you marry me?
2079
01:21:26,930 --> 01:21:28,105
- Yes.
Oh.
2080
01:21:42,380 --> 01:21:44,295
And there
you have it, folks.
2081
01:21:44,295 --> 01:21:47,168
An atypical
American love story
2082
01:21:47,168 --> 01:21:50,693
about a man reconnecting
with his hero,
2083
01:21:50,693 --> 01:21:53,565
and two different brands
of immigrant families
2084
01:21:53,565 --> 01:21:54,958
coming together.
2085
01:22:02,226 --> 01:22:03,706
Sebastian,
are you sure
2086
01:22:03,706 --> 01:22:05,534
you won't
reconsider
our offer?
2087
01:22:05,534 --> 01:22:06,927
No, it's
a generous offer.
2088
01:22:06,927 --> 01:22:08,450
- Yeah.
- But Ellie
and I decided
2089
01:22:08,450 --> 01:22:10,321
to stay in Chicago
for at least
a few more years.
2090
01:22:10,321 --> 01:22:11,583
Oh!
- Yeah.
2091
01:22:11,583 --> 01:22:13,672
I'm not saying
a word. Heartbreaking.
2092
01:22:13,672 --> 01:22:15,805
Dad, I was thinking
since Sea Bass isn't... Yeah.
2093
01:22:15,805 --> 01:22:17,502
gonna take the job,
I thought I could...
2094
01:22:18,242 --> 01:22:19,330
step up.
2095
01:22:20,853 --> 01:22:22,072
No more drugs?
2096
01:22:23,813 --> 01:22:25,684
Prescription?
Mostly mine?
2097
01:22:25,684 --> 01:22:27,121
A dream come true.
2098
01:22:27,121 --> 01:22:29,123
All right.
- Thank you.
- That's my boy, Lucky.
2099
01:22:29,123 --> 01:22:30,733
I'm
running a hotel.
2100
01:22:30,733 --> 01:22:32,430
- Hi.
- Hi, everybody.
2101
01:22:32,430 --> 01:22:34,737
Um, I'd like you to meet
my girlfriend, Michelle.
2102
01:22:34,737 --> 01:22:36,086
- Hello.
- Hi, I'm Ellie.
2103
01:22:36,086 --> 01:22:37,522
Hi.
- She's real.
2104
01:22:38,306 --> 01:22:39,524
That's my sister.
2105
01:22:39,524 --> 01:22:41,396
It's very nice
to meet all of you.
2106
01:22:41,396 --> 01:22:44,529
Did you fly
all the way
from... from...
2107
01:22:44,529 --> 01:22:45,966
Africa....Africa
2108
01:22:45,966 --> 01:22:49,143
...to be
with Doug?
2109
01:22:49,143 --> 01:22:51,928
Oh, well,
I love Doug.
2110
01:22:51,928 --> 01:22:53,016
But I'm
actually here
2111
01:22:53,016 --> 01:22:54,365
on a Fulbright scholarship.
2112
01:22:54,365 --> 01:22:55,584
She's very smart.
2113
01:22:55,584 --> 01:22:56,933
Very nice.
2114
01:22:56,933 --> 01:22:59,675
Well, we're
just so happy
2115
01:22:59,675 --> 01:23:01,242
to meet you. Lovely.
2116
01:23:01,242 --> 01:23:03,418
Yes. You could sit... Mom. Dad.
2117
01:23:03,418 --> 01:23:04,810
- Yes. Yes.
- Where are
we gonna go?
2118
01:23:04,810 --> 01:23:05,898
- Right this way.
- Yeah, we gotta get
2119
01:23:05,898 --> 01:23:08,118
our picture taken.
2120
01:23:11,469 --> 01:23:14,559
Don't say that I never
did nothing for you.
2121
01:23:21,958 --> 01:23:23,307
Ah.
Oh.
2122
01:23:23,307 --> 01:23:25,092
How would
you two feel
2123
01:23:25,092 --> 01:23:27,007
about having
the wedding
2124
01:23:27,007 --> 01:23:28,878
in our chapel
in D.C.?
2125
01:23:28,878 --> 01:23:30,184
D.C.? No.
2126
01:23:30,184 --> 01:23:31,663
Let's have it
in Sicily.
2127
01:23:31,663 --> 01:23:33,274
Oh, Sicily.
- In my grandfather's
garden.
2128
01:23:33,274 --> 01:23:35,058
That's where
you should... I was thinking like Napa,
2129
01:23:35,058 --> 01:23:37,669
because I found this place
that has a big wine glass.
2130
01:23:37,669 --> 01:23:38,931
And you can do
the whole ceremony
2131
01:23:38,931 --> 01:23:40,063
in the wine glass.
2132
01:23:40,063 --> 01:23:42,022
Duke! Duke! No!
2133
01:23:42,022 --> 01:23:43,849
What do you have
in your mouth?
2134
01:23:43,849 --> 01:23:46,156
Duke murdered
a peacock.
155890
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