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1
00:00:50,509 --> 00:00:52,262
You were incredible.
2
00:00:52,718 --> 00:00:54,927
My heart is still racing.
3
00:00:56,377 --> 00:00:58,137
I felt it too.
4
00:00:58,241 --> 00:01:00,174
All thanks
to your brute strength, Dash,
5
00:01:00,277 --> 00:01:03,418
and your knowledge
of ancient Aramaic mathematics.
6
00:01:03,522 --> 00:01:06,421
Please. This has nothing to do
with my two doctorates
7
00:01:06,525 --> 00:01:08,596
and my master's
in Gender Studies
8
00:01:09,493 --> 00:01:12,462
and everything to do
with you, Dr. Lovemore.
9
00:01:12,911 --> 00:01:14,809
The truth is,
10
00:01:14,913 --> 00:01:17,294
I never thought I would find
the Lost City of D.
11
00:01:17,398 --> 00:01:20,332
I would choose your words carefully.
12
00:01:20,435 --> 00:01:22,196
They will be your last.
13
00:01:22,299 --> 00:01:26,062
You led me right
to King Kalaman's tomb
14
00:01:26,165 --> 00:01:29,755
and his queen's
legendary Crown of Fire.
15
00:01:29,859 --> 00:01:32,758
And now I will be very rich,
16
00:01:32,862 --> 00:01:35,554
and you will be very dead.
17
00:01:36,486 --> 00:01:39,869
Hold up. Are these...
Are these your snakes?
18
00:01:39,972 --> 00:01:41,594
No, they were just here.
19
00:01:41,698 --> 00:01:44,149
There were just hundreds
of snakes in this temple
20
00:01:44,252 --> 00:01:46,116
just waiting for us to show up?
21
00:01:46,220 --> 00:01:48,325
- Who feeds them? You feed them?
- No, what do they eat?
22
00:01:48,429 --> 00:01:50,638
Why is that one not biting that guy?
Why is that happening?
23
00:01:50,741 --> 00:01:53,606
- Are they trained not to bite henchmen or something?
- Yeah, well...
24
00:01:53,710 --> 00:01:55,988
I mean,
the snake-to-temple ratio alone...
25
00:01:56,092 --> 00:01:58,542
This is ridiculous.
Delete.
26
00:01:59,820 --> 00:02:01,718
I... I think my character
can still work.
27
00:02:01,822 --> 00:02:03,547
Delete.
28
00:02:03,651 --> 00:02:05,826
Loretta, you still have
a story to write.
29
00:02:06,516 --> 00:02:07,828
Delete.
30
00:02:10,209 --> 00:02:12,073
Hey, it's me, Beth.
31
00:02:12,177 --> 00:02:14,593
I don't want to pull the whole "I'm
your publisher" card, but I am.
32
00:02:14,696 --> 00:02:17,044
And I'm really looking forward
to seeing this last chapter.
33
00:02:17,147 --> 00:02:19,184
But no pressure.
No, there actually is pressure.
34
00:02:19,287 --> 00:02:23,464
The exact amount of pressure that
motivates you but doesn't paralyze you.
35
00:02:23,567 --> 00:02:24,948
You got this.
36
00:02:26,501 --> 00:02:27,468
Thank you.
37
00:02:27,571 --> 00:02:29,608
Me again.
38
00:02:29,711 --> 00:02:31,575
Okay, so everything
is set for the book tour,
39
00:02:31,679 --> 00:02:34,509
but, uh, the only thing we need
is a book to tour with.
40
00:02:34,613 --> 00:02:36,753
I can't help but get the feeling
that you're not finishing
41
00:02:36,857 --> 00:02:39,307
because you don't want
to leave your house.
42
00:02:39,411 --> 00:02:44,588
Listen, I know these last five years
have been hard after John's passing,
43
00:02:44,692 --> 00:02:48,075
and it feels easier
to live in your bathtub,
44
00:02:48,178 --> 00:02:50,836
drinking Chardonnay on ice.
45
00:02:50,940 --> 00:02:53,735
But, girl, there is a great
big world waiting for you
46
00:02:53,839 --> 00:02:56,842
and a book tour that I can't cancel,
so just make it happen, all right?
47
00:02:56,946 --> 00:02:58,188
Love you, bye!
48
00:03:17,207 --> 00:03:18,726
We have to keep going.
49
00:03:19,761 --> 00:03:22,247
Let's see what's on the
other side of that door.
50
00:03:22,350 --> 00:03:24,456
But what if
there isn't anything?
51
00:03:25,215 --> 00:03:27,286
There's only one way
to find out.
52
00:03:28,184 --> 00:03:30,117
Then Lovemore realized
53
00:03:30,220 --> 00:03:32,498
the treasure she wanted
was lost forever
54
00:03:32,602 --> 00:03:34,984
and her adventures
were coming to an end.
55
00:03:35,087 --> 00:03:36,226
That doesn't feel right.
56
00:03:36,330 --> 00:03:38,125
Yeah, but that's it.
57
00:03:38,228 --> 00:03:39,678
That's the end.
58
00:03:48,721 --> 00:03:50,275
Well, John,
59
00:03:50,861 --> 00:03:51,966
here I go.
60
00:03:52,070 --> 00:03:54,348
Dulcius ex asperis.
61
00:04:00,871 --> 00:04:03,633
- Okay, honey, it's showtime.
- Are you sure about this?
62
00:04:03,736 --> 00:04:07,326
Because I have a wedgie in the back
and in the front in this thing.
63
00:04:07,430 --> 00:04:09,673
I feel like
a nerdy figure skater.
64
00:04:09,777 --> 00:04:12,469
- Sexy. Stunner. I'm all about it.
- No, it's not. It's not.
65
00:04:12,573 --> 00:04:14,506
- How do I move in this?
- Don't touch it.
66
00:04:14,609 --> 00:04:16,818
- I'm not touching it. I'm holding it out.
- Stop it. Will you stop?
67
00:04:16,922 --> 00:04:19,097
Get it out now 'cause you
can't do that onstage.
68
00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:21,892
And we're done.
And we're done. Okay, good.
69
00:04:21,996 --> 00:04:23,894
Do I need to be wearing
a glitter onesie?
70
00:04:23,998 --> 00:04:25,448
You only have to wear this
for two hours.
71
00:04:25,551 --> 00:04:27,519
Do not mess this up, do you hear me?
This is on loan.
72
00:04:27,622 --> 00:04:29,624
Everyone's wearing
sequins right now.
73
00:04:31,143 --> 00:04:33,214
- Why is she taking my photo?
- This is Allison.
74
00:04:33,318 --> 00:04:35,630
She is our new
social media manager.
75
00:04:35,734 --> 00:04:38,564
And she's gonna be helping us
target that younger demographic.
76
00:04:38,668 --> 00:04:41,153
Meaning women in their 30s
who wish they were in their 20s.
77
00:04:41,257 --> 00:04:42,775
Hey, what's up?
78
00:04:42,879 --> 00:04:46,227
Um, I took over your socials,
so this morning you tweeted,
79
00:04:46,331 --> 00:04:51,508
"Where are my ladies at?
Meet me at Ballroom G at 5:00 p.m.
80
00:04:51,612 --> 00:04:53,062
#ShawnMendes.
81
00:04:53,165 --> 00:04:56,030
#GaggingToMeetYouAll."
82
00:04:56,134 --> 00:04:58,688
Okay, we are having fun.
Let's go.
83
00:04:58,791 --> 00:05:01,760
We need to remind people
that you are still alive.
84
00:05:01,863 --> 00:05:03,279
People know I'm alive.
85
00:05:03,382 --> 00:05:05,350
And to remind them
why this used to be
86
00:05:05,453 --> 00:05:07,524
- the best selling franchise.
- In Romance.
87
00:05:07,628 --> 00:05:10,251
Yes, which is the top
revenue-generating literary category.
88
00:05:10,355 --> 00:05:13,220
Revenue-generating isn't how I would
describe our presales right now.
89
00:05:13,323 --> 00:05:15,463
Just think of this as a way
that uses word of mouth.
90
00:05:15,567 --> 00:05:17,189
Oh, you want word of mouth?
Here we go. How's this?
91
00:05:17,293 --> 00:05:20,089
"The only thing more lost than
the city is the author herself."
92
00:05:20,192 --> 00:05:21,952
"Loveless."
"Passionless."
93
00:05:22,056 --> 00:05:25,956
Uh, "Way past her prime." And, oh,
"This is fake history at its worst."
94
00:05:26,060 --> 00:05:28,235
A book tour could
change everything, okay?
95
00:05:28,338 --> 00:05:30,651
We have to remind the fans
why they love you so much.
96
00:05:30,754 --> 00:05:34,344
Real history. I merely season
it with a smidge more nudity.
97
00:05:34,448 --> 00:05:36,657
History had a ton of nudity.
98
00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:39,591
Deep exploration.
99
00:05:39,694 --> 00:05:42,180
Steamy wondering.
100
00:05:42,283 --> 00:05:47,323
Will Lovemore and Dash find Queen
Taha's priceless Crown of Fire?
101
00:05:47,426 --> 00:05:49,221
Join them on their search.
102
00:05:49,325 --> 00:05:51,258
So, listen, I wanted to
talk to you about something.
103
00:05:51,361 --> 00:05:52,604
There's so many people.
104
00:05:52,707 --> 00:05:54,847
I know how much you hate
doing these things,
105
00:05:54,951 --> 00:05:57,678
so I've invited Alan to do
the Q and A with you today.
106
00:05:57,781 --> 00:05:59,783
- What?
- And the rest of the book tour.
107
00:05:59,887 --> 00:06:02,855
Beth, I expressly asked not to do any
more events with Dash... Alan, Alan!
108
00:06:02,959 --> 00:06:05,789
- He's gonna humiliate me.
- He's not gonna humiliate you.
109
00:06:05,893 --> 00:06:08,930
Thank you. You're very good at your job.
Thank you so much. Thank you.
110
00:06:09,034 --> 00:06:10,242
Let me help you with that.
111
00:06:10,346 --> 00:06:12,244
He is... He's
a body wash commercial.
112
00:06:12,348 --> 00:06:14,212
He's always glistening
all over the place.
113
00:06:14,315 --> 00:06:17,215
There hasn't been an event where
his shirt didn't come flying off.
114
00:06:17,318 --> 00:06:18,837
- You wish.
- Well, he's already here,
115
00:06:18,940 --> 00:06:21,081
so put on your big-girl panties
and let's get out there.
116
00:06:21,184 --> 00:06:24,360
Remember, no grumpy face,
big words or boring academic talk.
117
00:06:24,463 --> 00:06:27,742
Yes! Yes!
118
00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:29,779
Come on, RTP!
119
00:06:29,882 --> 00:06:31,367
Ha-ha!
120
00:06:31,470 --> 00:06:33,714
Yes, my Lovemore-heads!
121
00:06:33,817 --> 00:06:37,269
I am so excited
to introduce to you
122
00:06:37,373 --> 00:06:41,204
the award-winning author,
Loretta Sage!
123
00:06:41,308 --> 00:06:43,862
- Beth, I can't do this. I'm not ready.
- Are you kidding me?
124
00:06:43,965 --> 00:06:45,691
Listen, I've got your back.
You got this.
125
00:06:45,795 --> 00:06:47,314
Go give the people
what they want.
126
00:06:47,417 --> 00:06:49,281
- It's not me they want.
- Get out there now!
127
00:06:51,835 --> 00:06:55,667
Hi. How are you?
Nice to see you. Thank you.
128
00:07:01,017 --> 00:07:02,743
Yep. Mount it.
129
00:07:05,194 --> 00:07:08,093
Mount it. Mount it.
Okay.
130
00:07:08,197 --> 00:07:09,888
Find your center.
131
00:07:09,991 --> 00:07:13,547
And now, the moment
you've all been waiting for.
132
00:07:13,650 --> 00:07:15,411
- The sexiest...
- All right!
133
00:07:15,514 --> 00:07:19,518
...most influential hero
of a generation.
134
00:07:19,622 --> 00:07:20,830
That's a bit strong.
135
00:07:20,933 --> 00:07:23,557
His 20th cover
of an Angela Lovemore novel.
136
00:07:24,144 --> 00:07:26,284
Dash McMahon!
137
00:07:31,737 --> 00:07:34,257
Oh, my God! Dash!
138
00:07:56,935 --> 00:07:59,282
- Take a bow.
- I already did mine. I did mine.
139
00:07:59,386 --> 00:08:02,354
Okay, come on.
One more. I got you.
140
00:08:17,369 --> 00:08:19,026
Did you guys rehearse that?
Oh, my God.
141
00:08:19,129 --> 00:08:22,961
I'm loving this chemistry between you
two, and I got to say,
142
00:08:23,064 --> 00:08:25,205
I love this book.
143
00:08:25,308 --> 00:08:26,378
- Oh, thank you, Ray.
- Thank...
144
00:08:26,482 --> 00:08:27,828
Spoiler alert.
145
00:08:27,931 --> 00:08:29,209
A really bold choice
146
00:08:29,312 --> 00:08:31,245
to not have them go
into the tomb at the end.
147
00:08:31,349 --> 00:08:32,971
Talk about
what went into this one.
148
00:08:33,074 --> 00:08:36,526
I mean, this one's such a
special book for me personally.
149
00:08:36,630 --> 00:08:39,460
I... I don't know how to say
how much it means to me
150
00:08:39,564 --> 00:08:41,669
that Loretta,
word writer extraordinaire,
151
00:08:41,773 --> 00:08:44,810
has, you know,
named the book after me.
152
00:08:44,914 --> 00:08:46,743
The Lost City of Dash.
153
00:08:46,847 --> 00:08:47,951
The Lost City of D.
154
00:08:48,055 --> 00:08:50,299
Um, but that's not what
the D stands for.
155
00:08:50,402 --> 00:08:52,991
- It's D for "dick," right?
- No dick, no.
156
00:08:53,094 --> 00:08:56,201
It's based on the name of an ancient
tribe, Dapocagihou-dysphem-ica.
157
00:08:56,305 --> 00:09:00,861
And, um, it was too difficult for
the European colonizers to pronounce,
158
00:09:00,964 --> 00:09:04,244
- so, in true colonial fashion they abbreviated it.
- No one cares about this.
159
00:09:04,347 --> 00:09:06,073
That's so interesting.
Okay.
160
00:09:06,176 --> 00:09:08,489
How about we take some
questions from the audience?
161
00:09:08,593 --> 00:09:10,388
- Right here, handsome!
- Yes.
162
00:09:10,491 --> 00:09:14,633
- Dash, what's your favorite romantic moment?
- Ooh.
163
00:09:14,737 --> 00:09:19,259
What I would really like to know is what
is Loretta's favorite romantic moment?
164
00:09:19,362 --> 00:09:21,295
Ooh, spicy.
165
00:09:21,399 --> 00:09:23,332
Oh, uh...
166
00:09:23,435 --> 00:09:26,127
Well, being a sapiosexual...
167
00:09:26,231 --> 00:09:28,440
Oh, is that when they do
the snakes around the...
168
00:09:28,544 --> 00:09:32,617
No. That's someone
who finds, uh, intellect
169
00:09:32,720 --> 00:09:36,621
or intelligence,
uh, very sexy, you know.
170
00:09:36,724 --> 00:09:37,829
Same.
171
00:09:38,312 --> 00:09:39,555
Really?
172
00:09:39,658 --> 00:09:42,074
Dash! Rip off your shirt!
173
00:09:42,178 --> 00:09:45,906
No, no, no. We're not gonna do that today.
We're here for Loretta's book.
174
00:09:46,009 --> 00:09:47,873
Do we have questions
for Loretta?
175
00:09:47,977 --> 00:09:53,154
Uh, yes, studious-looking young lady?
What would you like to ask me?
176
00:09:53,258 --> 00:09:55,295
Can you rip off Dash's shirt?
177
00:09:56,848 --> 00:09:59,678
No, no. We're not gonna
do this again. Sorry.
178
00:09:59,782 --> 00:10:02,302
Rip it off! Rip it off!
179
00:10:02,405 --> 00:10:04,718
Rip it off! Rip it off!
Rip it off!
180
00:10:04,821 --> 00:10:08,549
Of course. Of course, yes.
Can do.
181
00:10:09,516 --> 00:10:10,793
Is this happening?
182
00:10:10,896 --> 00:10:12,622
- You don't have to do this.
- Oh, we have to.
183
00:10:12,726 --> 00:10:14,797
We have to give the people
what they want. Yes, yes.
184
00:10:14,900 --> 00:10:17,627
We have to give the people
what they want, yes.
185
00:10:17,731 --> 00:10:20,975
Ladies and gentlemen, enjoy.
186
00:10:21,079 --> 00:10:25,739
Because The Lost City of D
is Dash's final adventure.
187
00:10:25,842 --> 00:10:27,913
If there even is a next book,
188
00:10:28,017 --> 00:10:31,123
it will open with Lovemore
receiving the tragic news
189
00:10:31,227 --> 00:10:33,574
of his untimely death.
190
00:10:33,678 --> 00:10:35,058
What?
191
00:10:35,162 --> 00:10:36,612
- Shit. I'm sorry. My smartwatch is stuck.
- Ow. Hold on.
192
00:10:36,715 --> 00:10:37,785
I know. Don't pull it.
193
00:10:37,889 --> 00:10:39,408
It's okay. Just be real still.
194
00:10:39,511 --> 00:10:40,926
- No. That's pulling it.
- You're pulling it.
195
00:10:41,030 --> 00:10:43,619
You're gonna rip my wig off.
No, you can't...
196
00:10:48,037 --> 00:10:49,003
Oh, my!
197
00:10:49,107 --> 00:10:50,522
- Oh, my God.
- Is he okay?
198
00:10:50,626 --> 00:10:52,248
God, I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
199
00:10:52,352 --> 00:10:55,009
- I'm so sorry.
- You're a bad person.
200
00:10:55,113 --> 00:10:59,359
Stick around for the
costume contest at 6:00 p.m.
201
00:11:00,221 --> 00:11:02,465
"If there is another book"?
202
00:11:02,569 --> 00:11:07,470
I'm investing everything we've
got into this tour, okay?
203
00:11:07,574 --> 00:11:11,025
I just don't think I have another
Dash and Lovemore adventure in me.
204
00:11:11,129 --> 00:11:12,510
How does Dash die?
205
00:11:12,613 --> 00:11:14,753
- Was it the snakes?
- No.
206
00:11:14,857 --> 00:11:17,204
Okay, so I have something
that I have to take care of.
207
00:11:17,307 --> 00:11:19,758
You guys have an interview in
the next suite in ten minutes.
208
00:11:19,862 --> 00:11:22,278
So can you please do me a favor
and be grown-ups
209
00:11:22,382 --> 00:11:23,900
and get yourselves there
on your own?
210
00:11:24,004 --> 00:11:25,212
Okay. Thank you so much.
211
00:11:26,006 --> 00:11:28,077
Does he die from
a staph infection?
212
00:11:30,044 --> 00:11:32,115
It is a staph infection.
I knew it.
213
00:11:33,289 --> 00:11:34,670
I-I... All right.
214
00:11:34,773 --> 00:11:37,845
Look, I get it if you
need a break or something,
215
00:11:37,949 --> 00:11:39,951
- but you can't just kill me, okay?
- Okay.
216
00:11:40,054 --> 00:11:44,438
I hate that I have to ask this,
but you do know you're not Dash, right?
217
00:11:44,542 --> 00:11:46,716
Dash is a character I made up.
218
00:11:46,820 --> 00:11:48,062
Dash?
219
00:11:50,893 --> 00:11:52,135
Thanks.
220
00:11:52,239 --> 00:11:53,447
Thank you.
221
00:11:55,932 --> 00:11:58,210
- Loretta, it's this way.
- No, I think it's this way.
222
00:11:58,314 --> 00:12:00,661
Can't you see that Dash
means so much to people?
223
00:12:00,765 --> 00:12:02,629
- Means so much to you.
- Not to me.
224
00:12:02,732 --> 00:12:04,389
Well, yeah, to me,
but to other people too.
225
00:12:04,493 --> 00:12:07,461
- What about Beth?
- You know what? Beth is gonna be fine.
226
00:12:07,565 --> 00:12:11,396
She's gonna find plenty fresh,
young writers full of great ideas.
227
00:12:11,500 --> 00:12:13,502
You can transition gracefully
228
00:12:13,605 --> 00:12:15,952
into the shirt-on phase
of your modeling career,
229
00:12:16,056 --> 00:12:17,402
and I can be left alone.
230
00:12:17,506 --> 00:12:19,231
Everybody is happy.
231
00:12:19,335 --> 00:12:21,130
No, it's this way.
232
00:12:21,233 --> 00:12:23,063
Beth says you don't even
leave the house anymore.
233
00:12:23,166 --> 00:12:25,203
I don't feel like
that's very happy.
234
00:12:25,306 --> 00:12:28,206
You should be going out in the world,
filling yourself up on new experiences.
235
00:12:28,309 --> 00:12:30,553
I'm already filled up.
I'm full. I'm fully satiated.
236
00:12:30,657 --> 00:12:34,005
Why would you want to be stuck at home
alone when you could see the world?
237
00:12:34,108 --> 00:12:35,627
You could be visiting
ancient Greece.
238
00:12:35,731 --> 00:12:38,630
Okay. How could I visit
ancient Greece?
239
00:12:38,734 --> 00:12:40,770
I get it. Because
you're afraid of flying.
240
00:12:40,874 --> 00:12:44,291
No. Because ancient Greece
is in the past.
241
00:12:44,394 --> 00:12:45,948
Just like Dash.
242
00:12:46,051 --> 00:12:49,261
Okay. You want to know who else
is stuck in the past? You are.
243
00:12:49,365 --> 00:12:52,126
You're so afraid of life hurting you
again that you've stopped living.
244
00:12:52,230 --> 00:12:54,543
You're like a human mummy.
245
00:12:56,027 --> 00:12:58,063
I didn't, um...
246
00:12:59,340 --> 00:13:00,514
Oh.
247
00:13:00,618 --> 00:13:02,758
Mummies are human.
248
00:13:12,043 --> 00:13:14,010
Stupid... Oh, crap.
249
00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:17,048
I'm so sorry.
I-I will clean this up.
250
00:13:17,151 --> 00:13:19,637
I am not a litterer,
I-I assure you that.
251
00:13:19,740 --> 00:13:23,226
Do you, um... Do you think you
could, uh, call a car for me, please?
252
00:13:23,330 --> 00:13:24,849
Thank you. Thank you.
253
00:13:27,610 --> 00:13:28,784
Bring the car around.
254
00:13:28,887 --> 00:13:30,337
God, is that someone's retainer?
255
00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:32,788
I've never said the right thing
one time around her.
256
00:13:32,891 --> 00:13:34,824
I get nervous
because she opens her mouth,
257
00:13:34,928 --> 00:13:39,380
and just an encyclopedia of beautifulness
comes out, and I just never say...
258
00:13:39,484 --> 00:13:40,796
You know
she's trying to kill me?
259
00:13:40,899 --> 00:13:43,074
I just need those tomatoes.
260
00:13:43,177 --> 00:13:45,525
You're right.
No, you're right.
261
00:13:45,628 --> 00:13:47,112
I should apologize.
Thank you, man.
262
00:13:47,216 --> 00:13:49,459
- I appreciate that very, very much.
- You're welcome.
263
00:13:59,608 --> 00:14:01,886
Uh, Loretta Sage. Yeah.
264
00:14:07,098 --> 00:14:08,202
Uh...
265
00:14:09,514 --> 00:14:10,722
Hiya.
266
00:14:10,826 --> 00:14:12,310
Uh, I did not order an UberPool.
267
00:14:12,413 --> 00:14:15,382
Someone wants to meet you.
We'll have you right back.
268
00:14:15,485 --> 00:14:16,659
Um...
269
00:14:20,145 --> 00:14:21,422
Loretta!
270
00:14:21,526 --> 00:14:23,045
Loretta! Loretta?
271
00:14:25,944 --> 00:14:27,808
Uh, Loretta?
272
00:14:27,912 --> 00:14:30,500
- Did you say "Loretta"?
- Yeah.
273
00:14:30,604 --> 00:14:31,812
- Follow that SUV, man.
- No.
274
00:14:31,916 --> 00:14:33,676
- Come on, please!
- No, no, no.
275
00:14:33,780 --> 00:14:36,852
I'm not helping any more handsome
strangers. Fool me once. Mm-mmm.
276
00:14:36,955 --> 00:14:40,269
What is this, Taken? Am I "tooken"?
277
00:14:40,372 --> 00:14:41,788
Am I sold already?
278
00:14:41,891 --> 00:14:44,894
Am I...
Am I sold to him?
279
00:14:44,998 --> 00:14:48,657
- Ow. Stop.
- Oh, no. Did this feel creepy?
280
00:14:48,760 --> 00:14:51,383
I said
don't make it creepy, guys.
281
00:14:51,487 --> 00:14:53,316
I'm so sorry about the setting.
282
00:14:53,420 --> 00:14:56,009
I just flew in.
I was in a real panic to meet you.
283
00:14:56,112 --> 00:14:58,183
I didn't have time
to dress the place up much.
284
00:14:58,287 --> 00:15:01,083
I read you love cheese,
so I just got them all.
285
00:15:01,186 --> 00:15:05,259
Are you the one who's been
emailing me for photos of my feet?
286
00:15:05,363 --> 00:15:07,227
No. Um...
287
00:15:07,330 --> 00:15:11,645
And I promise what I'm about to show
you is gonna make you very happy.
288
00:15:12,404 --> 00:15:13,613
But first, a little bit
289
00:15:13,716 --> 00:15:16,926
about the mysterious rogue
you see before you.
290
00:15:17,030 --> 00:15:19,308
Uh, my name is Abigail Fairfax.
291
00:15:19,411 --> 00:15:22,345
- Abigail?
- It's a gender-neutral name, like Leslie or Beverly.
292
00:15:22,449 --> 00:15:26,142
Yes, but you're Abigail Fairfax
of the media-mogul Fairfaxes?
293
00:15:27,074 --> 00:15:30,284
Didn't you just
take over your company or...
294
00:15:30,388 --> 00:15:34,323
No, that was my brother, actually.
That was Leslie. We're all very proud.
295
00:15:34,426 --> 00:15:37,533
Ah. Yes, I should say so,
at such a young age to...
296
00:15:37,637 --> 00:15:39,569
Some might even say too young.
297
00:15:39,673 --> 00:15:42,400
But that world
never really interested me.
298
00:15:42,503 --> 00:15:45,092
My passions, as you may know,
299
00:15:45,196 --> 00:15:48,302
lie in the hidden things
in the world,
300
00:15:48,406 --> 00:15:51,029
things which defy possession.
301
00:15:51,133 --> 00:15:54,170
Um, some might call me
a collector.
302
00:15:54,274 --> 00:15:57,967
But there is one obsession
in particular
303
00:15:58,071 --> 00:16:00,176
that has held me captive.
304
00:16:01,350 --> 00:16:02,834
The Crown of Fire
305
00:16:02,938 --> 00:16:05,319
and its cascading red diamonds.
306
00:16:05,423 --> 00:16:09,082
Is this a... Is this
a hidden-camera thing?
307
00:16:09,185 --> 00:16:12,775
So imagine my surprise
when, in your new book,
308
00:16:12,879 --> 00:16:16,158
amidst the pages
of coital reverie,
309
00:16:16,261 --> 00:16:17,090
was something...
310
00:16:17,193 --> 00:16:19,264
- Oh, God.
- ...quite magnificent.
311
00:16:21,128 --> 00:16:23,683
I get it. I get it.
I so get it right now.
312
00:16:23,786 --> 00:16:25,098
Oh, my gosh.
313
00:16:25,201 --> 00:16:27,376
I literally thought
you guys kidnapped me.
314
00:16:27,479 --> 00:16:29,965
I mean, this is marketing, right?
Beth set this up?
315
00:16:30,068 --> 00:16:32,968
This was so good, you guys.
This was amazing.
316
00:16:33,071 --> 00:16:36,316
You, with your gun
and your mustache
317
00:16:36,419 --> 00:16:39,388
and your, "You'd better get
in there" and you know...
318
00:16:40,596 --> 00:16:42,115
Oh, my God.
319
00:16:42,218 --> 00:16:45,981
You, with the G.I.
Joe tone-on-tone outfit.
320
00:16:46,084 --> 00:16:51,089
Your fictional archaeologist was making
real translations of a dead language.
321
00:16:51,193 --> 00:16:54,092
- Mm-hmm.
- Something nobody else has been able to do.
322
00:16:54,196 --> 00:16:56,612
Well, nobody else
had ever tried.
323
00:16:56,716 --> 00:16:58,545
Is that right?
Am I saying the right thing?
324
00:16:58,648 --> 00:17:00,305
Except you, right?
325
00:17:00,409 --> 00:17:02,376
Except me!
326
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:04,206
Yes. See, it turns out
327
00:17:04,309 --> 00:17:07,623
Loretta Sage was once a young
college girl doing her dissertation
328
00:17:07,727 --> 00:17:10,591
on the dead language of the D
with her future husband,
329
00:17:10,695 --> 00:17:13,802
dreaming of finding Kalaman's
tomb and the Crown of Fire.
330
00:17:13,905 --> 00:17:17,012
I was sorry to read you gave
up your search after he died.
331
00:17:17,115 --> 00:17:18,738
But what that means is,
332
00:17:20,015 --> 00:17:21,913
you're all I have left.
333
00:17:22,017 --> 00:17:25,192
All-All you have left
for... what?
334
00:17:25,296 --> 00:17:26,331
Hmm.
335
00:17:28,126 --> 00:17:29,369
Oh.
336
00:17:29,472 --> 00:17:30,853
Here we go.
337
00:17:44,971 --> 00:17:46,696
What is this?
338
00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:50,493
I believe it is describing the
exact location of Kalaman's tomb,
339
00:17:50,597 --> 00:17:54,049
in which Taha and her
priceless headdress are buried.
340
00:17:54,152 --> 00:17:56,292
Well, if this were authentic,
341
00:17:56,396 --> 00:18:01,746
you would still have to
uncover an entire city
342
00:18:01,850 --> 00:18:04,887
that nobody
has been able to find.
343
00:18:04,991 --> 00:18:06,647
I found it.
344
00:18:06,751 --> 00:18:09,892
On a tiny, forgotten island in
the Atlantic called Isla Hundida.
345
00:18:09,996 --> 00:18:13,551
What I have not been able to find
is Kalaman's final resting place.
346
00:18:13,654 --> 00:18:17,935
This piece of parchment is the
only clue we found among the ruins.
347
00:18:18,038 --> 00:18:21,179
I need someone
who can decipher these symbols.
348
00:18:21,801 --> 00:18:23,354
I need you.
349
00:18:24,493 --> 00:18:25,943
- Well...
- Miss Sage,
350
00:18:26,046 --> 00:18:29,429
surely this isn't how
you want your story to end.
351
00:18:29,532 --> 00:18:32,121
We both had our dreams crushed
by bad luck,
352
00:18:32,225 --> 00:18:34,468
or in my case,
an arse-kissing little brother,
353
00:18:34,572 --> 00:18:37,678
but this is our chance
to show them all.
354
00:18:37,782 --> 00:18:39,370
Come with me...
to the island.
355
00:18:39,473 --> 00:18:44,616
Translate these symbols and
help me find the Crown of Fire.
356
00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:47,343
You can name your price.
357
00:18:49,967 --> 00:18:52,797
I must respectfully decline.
358
00:18:57,664 --> 00:18:58,872
Well...
359
00:19:00,494 --> 00:19:02,462
I can't say
I'm not disappointed.
360
00:19:03,359 --> 00:19:05,845
But I understand how you feel.
361
00:19:09,193 --> 00:19:10,953
Will you at least let us
give you a ride?
362
00:19:11,057 --> 00:19:15,337
Oh, no, thank you.
I'll call for my own car, and I'll just...
363
00:19:36,910 --> 00:19:40,672
I don't feel like you're listening
to me. This is urgent, and we...
364
00:19:40,776 --> 00:19:43,710
Okay, so the police are saying
that they put out an APB...
365
00:19:43,813 --> 00:19:45,470
- APB.
- ...on an SUV,
366
00:19:45,574 --> 00:19:47,817
- and there's this 24-hour rule...
- Why is there a rule?
367
00:19:47,921 --> 00:19:50,337
- ...and they won't do anything until...
- What about the FBI or the CIA?
368
00:19:50,441 --> 00:19:52,408
- They said to call the police.
- I'm sure Loretta's fine.
369
00:19:52,512 --> 00:19:55,101
When I was in college,
my friend Nicki went missing.
370
00:19:55,204 --> 00:19:56,826
Everyone was, like,
freaking out.
371
00:19:56,930 --> 00:19:59,277
But then she was just
in her car.
372
00:19:59,381 --> 00:20:02,556
She was dead, but we found her.
She wasn't gone.
373
00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:07,009
Um, what about...
Maybe we could get a PI
374
00:20:07,113 --> 00:20:09,632
or, like, you know,
private security or...
375
00:20:09,736 --> 00:20:11,634
What about an extraction team,
like the movie?
376
00:20:11,738 --> 00:20:14,223
Yes! But who does that?
The ex-military, right?
377
00:20:14,327 --> 00:20:16,916
Oh, yeah. I think I actually
have somebody that could help us.
378
00:20:17,019 --> 00:20:19,988
- Oh.
- I did this meditation retreat,
379
00:20:20,091 --> 00:20:22,162
and there was this
trainer guy there.
380
00:20:22,266 --> 00:20:23,784
You should
see this guy meditate.
381
00:20:23,888 --> 00:20:25,303
But he's ex-Navy SEAL.
382
00:20:25,407 --> 00:20:29,204
He... He's a special ops trainer.
What was his name?
383
00:20:29,894 --> 00:20:31,033
Yeah. Jack Trainer.
384
00:20:31,137 --> 00:20:32,759
So he's a trainer
named Jack Trainer?
385
00:20:32,862 --> 00:20:35,037
That's how I have everybody in my phone.
See, "Janice Mom."
386
00:20:35,141 --> 00:20:36,590
"Larry Doorknob."
"Stacy Butt Stuff."
387
00:20:36,694 --> 00:20:39,386
Look, this is what this guy does.
He finds people.
388
00:20:39,490 --> 00:20:41,768
If there's anybody
that can help us, it's him.
389
00:20:48,706 --> 00:20:51,226
- Jack Trainer.
- Oh, so his name is actually Jack Trainer.
390
00:20:51,329 --> 00:20:55,230
Hi, uh, this is Alan
from "Touching Your Inner Self."
391
00:20:56,714 --> 00:20:58,543
The meditation retreat?
392
00:21:00,269 --> 00:21:03,341
Anyway, uh, okay.
Our friend Loretta has been kidnapped,
393
00:21:03,445 --> 00:21:04,894
and no one's helping us.
394
00:21:04,998 --> 00:21:06,482
How long she been missing?
395
00:21:06,586 --> 00:21:07,828
Maybe two hours now.
396
00:21:07,932 --> 00:21:09,244
Who is that?
397
00:21:09,347 --> 00:21:13,386
Um, this is B...
This is Beth. I'm Beth.
398
00:21:13,489 --> 00:21:15,905
And Allison is on too, sir.
399
00:21:16,009 --> 00:21:18,218
Did she have any
Wi-Fi-enabled devices?
400
00:21:18,322 --> 00:21:21,221
- She's got her phone, right?
- No, I have her phone.
401
00:21:21,325 --> 00:21:23,948
Oh! She has a smartwatch.
It ripped my wig off.
402
00:21:24,052 --> 00:21:26,986
What was that scenario?
Never mind. Open the phone.
403
00:21:27,089 --> 00:21:28,642
- Go to the smartwatch app.
- All right.
404
00:21:28,746 --> 00:21:31,059
Then hit "Find My Smartwatch."
405
00:21:31,162 --> 00:21:34,096
Oh, my... That is so good.
That's why we called.
406
00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:36,650
"Anticipate the difficult
by managing the easy."
407
00:21:36,754 --> 00:21:40,447
- Is that Oprah or Deepak?
- Laozi from Tao-te Ching.
408
00:21:40,551 --> 00:21:41,759
Oh, my God.
409
00:21:41,862 --> 00:21:43,554
It's in the Atlantic.
410
00:21:43,657 --> 00:21:46,005
- She's on a plane?
- How can you tell that?
411
00:21:46,108 --> 00:21:48,283
'Cause she can't swim that fast.
412
00:21:48,386 --> 00:21:49,836
Doesn't sound
like a ransom scenario.
413
00:21:49,939 --> 00:21:52,563
My guess is blood sport,
Hunger Games type situation.
414
00:21:52,666 --> 00:21:55,497
Possibly some coke-fueled
dark web scavenger hunt.
415
00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:57,637
Real clown shit.
We'll have to move fast.
416
00:21:57,740 --> 00:22:00,674
- How do we pay you?
- Cryptocurrency. Cash App.
417
00:22:00,778 --> 00:22:04,264
I'll have her back within 48
hours or your next rescue is free.
418
00:22:04,368 --> 00:22:05,852
How many people
need a next rescue?
419
00:22:05,955 --> 00:22:07,474
More than you'd think.
420
00:22:07,578 --> 00:22:09,407
- I'm gonna need that phone.
- I'll bring it to you.
421
00:22:09,511 --> 00:22:12,272
Let me know where she lands.
I'll meet you there, Alan.
422
00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:28,323
Hello.
423
00:22:32,913 --> 00:22:34,053
Where am I?
424
00:22:34,156 --> 00:22:36,158
Um, you're on my plane.
425
00:22:36,262 --> 00:22:37,470
It's nice, isn't it? Hmm?
426
00:22:37,573 --> 00:22:39,403
The seats are made of
mama llama leather.
427
00:22:39,506 --> 00:22:42,613
Well, I'm getting off
your plane.
428
00:22:42,716 --> 00:22:44,097
Unchain me!
429
00:22:44,201 --> 00:22:45,754
That's your seat belt.
430
00:22:46,341 --> 00:22:48,205
Did you chloroform me?
431
00:22:48,308 --> 00:22:50,517
People actually do that?
432
00:22:52,899 --> 00:22:55,557
Well, you know,
it's a classic for a reason.
433
00:22:56,247 --> 00:22:57,490
My body feels drunk.
434
00:22:57,593 --> 00:22:59,492
It'll wear off in a bit.
I am sorry.
435
00:22:59,595 --> 00:23:02,011
I just couldn't wait around
for you to change your mind.
436
00:23:02,115 --> 00:23:04,566
- Stop playing jelly.
- Time is not on our side.
437
00:23:04,669 --> 00:23:07,396
You see, the volcano
we're excavating around
438
00:23:07,500 --> 00:23:09,467
has developed
a bad case of indigestion.
439
00:23:09,571 --> 00:23:11,435
I'm rather worried that when it blows,
440
00:23:11,538 --> 00:23:13,609
everything that's left of the
Lost City will be destroyed.
441
00:23:13,713 --> 00:23:15,611
Oh, my God.
My legs don't work.
442
00:23:15,715 --> 00:23:21,134
So, this is our last chance to
find both the tomb and the crown.
443
00:23:21,238 --> 00:23:23,274
- Oh, God.
- Oh!
444
00:23:23,378 --> 00:23:25,656
Don't worry.
That's just our final descent.
445
00:23:25,759 --> 00:23:31,765
But it is the beginning of the
greatest adventure of your life.
446
00:24:40,386 --> 00:24:42,457
Welcome to the Lost City.
447
00:24:52,087 --> 00:24:53,502
How did you find it?
448
00:24:53,606 --> 00:24:55,746
So, the city was built
on a lava dome.
449
00:24:55,849 --> 00:24:58,542
As the volcano became active,
the dome filled with lava,
450
00:24:58,645 --> 00:25:01,269
and sunken things
rose to the surface.
451
00:25:01,372 --> 00:25:03,271
The D exposed itself.
452
00:25:03,374 --> 00:25:06,412
- The entire city?
- No, no. Just the tip.
453
00:25:06,515 --> 00:25:09,725
As soon as I heard rumors of the ruins,
I flew over and bought the place.
454
00:25:09,829 --> 00:25:13,108
- The site?
- No. The island. The southern half.
455
00:25:13,212 --> 00:25:15,559
I got a good deal 'cause
this is where the lava flows.
456
00:25:15,662 --> 00:25:17,906
We've been excavating
for a year now.
457
00:25:18,976 --> 00:25:21,530
One doesn't kidnap a
romance novelist on day one.
458
00:25:21,634 --> 00:25:23,670
Ah, yes, as the saying goes.
459
00:25:23,774 --> 00:25:26,777
Rafi doesn't like it.
Do you, Rafi?
460
00:25:26,880 --> 00:25:30,056
He says we're
disrespecting his heritage.
461
00:25:30,159 --> 00:25:33,404
But not a lot of other job options
on the island, are there, Rafi?
462
00:25:33,508 --> 00:25:35,579
Beggars can't be choosers.
463
00:25:45,416 --> 00:25:47,246
No more charcuterie, I take it.
464
00:25:47,349 --> 00:25:49,455
Mmm. Please.
I'm not a monster.
465
00:25:49,558 --> 00:25:51,388
Whatever you need, just shout.
466
00:25:52,906 --> 00:25:57,773
Uh, leave one hand free.
She has some translating to do.
467
00:25:58,981 --> 00:26:00,224
And then what?
468
00:26:00,328 --> 00:26:02,847
Loretta, I really wish
you would try and see
469
00:26:02,951 --> 00:26:05,091
what an exciting opportunity
this is for us.
470
00:26:05,194 --> 00:26:09,095
I believe this text describes
the exact location of the tomb.
471
00:26:09,198 --> 00:26:11,718
It's a logographic system.
472
00:26:12,478 --> 00:26:15,066
Like cuneiform or hieroglyphics.
473
00:26:15,170 --> 00:26:18,967
Now, if you have other documents
that possibly I can compare...
474
00:26:19,070 --> 00:26:20,348
Yeah, no luck there.
475
00:26:20,451 --> 00:26:23,247
We found some scratching
at a nearby waterfall,
476
00:26:23,351 --> 00:26:24,248
but it was useless.
477
00:26:24,352 --> 00:26:25,905
Just pictures of women.
478
00:26:26,008 --> 00:26:30,599
Look, I, too, wish your dear
old dead archaeologist husband
479
00:26:30,703 --> 00:26:33,430
was here to help,
but he's not, so,
480
00:26:33,533 --> 00:26:36,640
time to shine, Loretta,
sex-book writer.
481
00:26:38,055 --> 00:26:39,781
They will come for me.
482
00:26:40,368 --> 00:26:42,093
Who, exactly?
483
00:26:42,197 --> 00:26:43,923
Your... Your many cats?
484
00:26:44,026 --> 00:26:45,821
Oh, I don't have cats.
485
00:26:46,408 --> 00:26:48,237
Somehow even more sad.
486
00:26:48,341 --> 00:26:51,310
I have a hamster, asshole!
487
00:26:51,413 --> 00:26:53,070
You have a hamster's asshole?
488
00:26:53,173 --> 00:26:56,936
No, there was a...
there was a comma between... Forget it.
489
00:26:57,039 --> 00:27:00,457
I bet your brother never had
to kidnap anyone!
490
00:27:51,197 --> 00:27:52,785
Good to see you, man.
491
00:27:52,888 --> 00:27:54,511
- Phone.
- Right.
492
00:28:06,385 --> 00:28:07,627
What?
493
00:28:07,731 --> 00:28:10,319
Yeah, I was thinking
that I could, you know,
494
00:28:10,423 --> 00:28:12,011
maybe just sort of
come with you.
495
00:28:12,114 --> 00:28:13,875
- Why?
- To help.
496
00:28:13,978 --> 00:28:18,120
I know CPR. I know some light karate.
CrossFit certified.
497
00:28:18,224 --> 00:28:19,743
Okay, okay, listen, listen!
498
00:28:20,606 --> 00:28:22,297
I just... It's my fault.
499
00:28:22,401 --> 00:28:24,506
Not the kidnapping and stuff,
500
00:28:24,610 --> 00:28:27,682
but, like, I said some really mean
stuff to her, and I regret it,
501
00:28:27,785 --> 00:28:29,408
and I just need to take it back.
502
00:28:29,511 --> 00:28:30,892
I called her a human mummy.
503
00:28:32,238 --> 00:28:33,653
Mummies are human.
504
00:28:34,309 --> 00:28:36,725
I'm aware of that now, yes.
505
00:28:36,829 --> 00:28:39,866
That is true.
506
00:28:39,970 --> 00:28:40,971
Please.
507
00:28:42,248 --> 00:28:44,940
All right, Alan,
I can't be responsible for you.
508
00:28:45,907 --> 00:28:46,908
Okay. Yeah.
509
00:28:47,011 --> 00:28:49,980
- I need you to stay in the car.
- Yeah.
510
00:28:50,083 --> 00:28:52,189
- In the car.
- In the car.
511
00:28:52,292 --> 00:28:54,743
- The whole time.
- The whole time?
512
00:28:54,847 --> 00:28:56,089
Whole time.
513
00:28:56,193 --> 00:28:57,436
Mm-hmm.
514
00:28:59,196 --> 00:29:00,473
Yes!
515
00:29:07,411 --> 00:29:08,757
This is me.
516
00:29:09,655 --> 00:29:11,933
Really? Is this what
the SEAL teams use?
517
00:29:12,036 --> 00:29:14,694
"Only a fool chooses a horse
by its color."
518
00:29:14,798 --> 00:29:17,594
Right, right.
The Tao-te Ching?
519
00:29:17,697 --> 00:29:20,838
No, it was on the sign
back there at the rental place.
520
00:29:29,364 --> 00:29:30,572
Thank you.
521
00:30:03,398 --> 00:30:04,848
What? What?
522
00:30:07,091 --> 00:30:09,093
I was hoping to invite you
to breakfast,
523
00:30:09,197 --> 00:30:11,855
but it looks like
you still have work to do.
524
00:30:12,821 --> 00:30:14,582
Uh, wait, wait, wait.
525
00:30:14,685 --> 00:30:16,204
Wait. Wait, wait, wait.
526
00:30:16,307 --> 00:30:18,309
I believe this says
527
00:30:18,413 --> 00:30:20,415
"rest" or "resting."
528
00:30:20,519 --> 00:30:23,418
So it would be,
"Kalaman and his treasure..."
529
00:30:23,522 --> 00:30:28,009
And then there are some missing
pieces, and then "rest," "resting,"
530
00:30:28,112 --> 00:30:31,530
and something about
"tears," so...
531
00:30:33,324 --> 00:30:34,325
Resting where?
532
00:30:34,429 --> 00:30:35,637
Hmm? Oh!
533
00:30:35,741 --> 00:30:38,502
Didn't say.
It doesn't say.
534
00:30:39,848 --> 00:30:42,851
Miss Sage,
I need you to do better.
535
00:30:42,955 --> 00:30:46,406
Then next time maybe don't
kidnap a romance novelist, hmm?
536
00:30:46,510 --> 00:30:48,719
My God,
this shouldn't be this hard!
537
00:30:48,823 --> 00:30:50,756
It is not some pauper's grave
we're looking for.
538
00:30:50,859 --> 00:30:53,137
It is a monument to a great man!
539
00:30:53,241 --> 00:30:55,174
King Kalaman was ambitious,
he was powerful,
540
00:30:55,277 --> 00:30:57,728
he was the first man to
build a city in the Atlantic.
541
00:30:57,832 --> 00:31:00,489
The eyes of his subjects
would have turned to him.
542
00:31:00,593 --> 00:31:03,838
He would have had a pyramid,
a ziggurat, a tower
543
00:31:03,941 --> 00:31:05,909
to hold his Crown of Fire.
544
00:31:06,012 --> 00:31:08,912
All I need to know
is where it is.
545
00:31:09,015 --> 00:31:12,260
I don't know if you recall,
but you only said translate it.
546
00:31:12,363 --> 00:31:14,503
I-I translated it.
547
00:31:15,297 --> 00:31:16,885
Translate it again.
548
00:31:22,511 --> 00:31:25,549
One day, we're gonna laugh about this.
549
00:31:25,653 --> 00:31:27,793
Such an adventure we're having.
550
00:31:30,899 --> 00:31:35,248
I should go with you,
just for backup and awesomeness.
551
00:31:36,215 --> 00:31:37,872
This is pretty awesome.
552
00:31:37,975 --> 00:31:40,633
You got nature, the radio.
553
00:31:41,772 --> 00:31:45,396
Yeah, you're right, but it's
very, very important to me
554
00:31:45,500 --> 00:31:47,364
that she knows
that I came to rescue her.
555
00:31:47,467 --> 00:31:49,159
Why?
Do you like this woman?
556
00:31:50,160 --> 00:31:52,369
No, I just brought snacks
and stuff.
557
00:31:52,472 --> 00:31:54,647
And she gets a little grumpy
when she's hungry.
558
00:31:54,751 --> 00:31:58,168
Blood pressure drops. And I get that
because I'm a five-meal-a-day kind of guy.
559
00:31:58,271 --> 00:32:01,067
Do you keto, by the way?
You look like you keto.
560
00:32:01,171 --> 00:32:02,862
- No.
- No. Yeah.
561
00:32:02,966 --> 00:32:04,692
You don't need it.
562
00:32:04,795 --> 00:32:06,279
What is it?
563
00:32:06,383 --> 00:32:09,973
I just want her to think of me
as more than a cover model.
564
00:32:10,076 --> 00:32:14,322
But, Alan, you are so much more.
You're my lookout.
565
00:32:14,425 --> 00:32:17,774
Okay, can I at least do the part
where I put her in the car
566
00:32:17,877 --> 00:32:21,605
and I just go,
"Shh. You're safe now"?
567
00:32:22,675 --> 00:32:24,677
Sure, champ.
She'll love that.
568
00:32:24,781 --> 00:32:26,645
Oh, you're just going?
Going to start?
569
00:32:26,748 --> 00:32:29,164
You're starting
the mission now? Okay.
570
00:32:53,361 --> 00:32:55,570
Oh!
571
00:33:04,613 --> 00:33:06,098
Go to sleep.
572
00:33:34,920 --> 00:33:36,059
- Alan.
- What?
573
00:33:36,162 --> 00:33:37,923
This is a breach of trust, Alan.
574
00:33:38,026 --> 00:33:39,579
I can help. Let me help.
575
00:33:42,962 --> 00:33:45,620
Stay close. Stay alive.
576
00:33:50,487 --> 00:33:51,730
Hey.
577
00:33:56,665 --> 00:33:58,184
Go to sleep.
578
00:34:00,566 --> 00:34:04,673
I got his head. What do I do with his head?
I'm just gonna set him down.
579
00:34:10,818 --> 00:34:12,026
No.
580
00:34:12,612 --> 00:34:13,786
Hey, hey, no!
581
00:34:13,890 --> 00:34:15,098
No, no, no!
582
00:34:22,657 --> 00:34:24,486
Ooh, yeah! Ooh.
583
00:34:24,590 --> 00:34:25,556
Ow.
584
00:34:25,660 --> 00:34:27,213
Teamwork, yeah!
585
00:34:27,317 --> 00:34:30,596
Great effort, Alan, but that man
was already unconscious.
586
00:34:30,699 --> 00:34:32,391
I was already wound up.
587
00:34:33,323 --> 00:34:36,084
Just don't do it when I'm...
588
00:34:39,156 --> 00:34:40,433
Hi.
589
00:34:42,677 --> 00:34:44,403
Oh!
590
00:34:45,680 --> 00:34:47,302
On your seven!
591
00:34:52,238 --> 00:34:53,308
Oh!
592
00:34:58,106 --> 00:35:00,039
Trainer, he's not asleep!
593
00:35:00,143 --> 00:35:02,317
Stay... Stay down. Stay down.
594
00:35:04,975 --> 00:35:07,495
- You're doing great.
- Thanks.
595
00:35:07,598 --> 00:35:09,117
Where you going?
596
00:35:12,086 --> 00:35:14,605
What?
597
00:35:17,263 --> 00:35:18,747
Loretta Sage?
598
00:35:19,231 --> 00:35:20,025
Yes.
599
00:35:20,128 --> 00:35:21,992
I'm getting you out of here.
600
00:35:23,028 --> 00:35:26,065
- Why are you so handsome?
- My dad was a weatherman.
601
00:35:28,274 --> 00:35:29,103
A-Alan?
602
00:35:29,206 --> 00:35:31,243
- Yeah.
- What are you doing here?
603
00:35:31,346 --> 00:35:34,142
- Uh, irregardless, I'm here to save you.
- That's not...
604
00:35:34,246 --> 00:35:36,489
- I think he meant "regardless."
- Yes.
605
00:35:37,905 --> 00:35:41,874
Ooh, uh, does she need saving in there,
Trainer? I think she's fine there.
606
00:35:41,978 --> 00:35:45,153
No, no, leave it. Don't take their stuff.
They'll come after us.
607
00:35:47,811 --> 00:35:49,364
Alan, why do you
keep doing that?
608
00:35:49,468 --> 00:35:51,435
Why do you keep doing that?
I had that one.
609
00:35:51,539 --> 00:35:54,059
It's just getting mean now.
It's unnecessary.
610
00:35:54,162 --> 00:35:55,923
I'm sorry.
I just wanted to get one in.
611
00:35:56,026 --> 00:35:59,098
- Excuse me. Would it be possible to remove me from the chair?
- No time.
612
00:35:59,202 --> 00:36:01,618
No time? There's been so much chitchat.
613
00:36:01,721 --> 00:36:03,033
We should definitely go.
614
00:36:03,137 --> 00:36:04,759
Let's go! Let's go!
615
00:36:30,612 --> 00:36:31,751
Why are things exploding?
616
00:36:39,414 --> 00:36:40,450
I got...
617
00:36:42,107 --> 00:36:43,315
Okay.
618
00:36:44,212 --> 00:36:45,489
Shh...
619
00:36:45,593 --> 00:36:47,491
Shh. You're safe now.
620
00:36:47,595 --> 00:36:48,734
You're...
621
00:36:48,837 --> 00:36:50,978
How... How are you so calm?
622
00:36:51,081 --> 00:36:53,566
- That was my... That was my line.
- Here.
623
00:36:55,706 --> 00:36:57,605
- What?
- Is that Reiki?
624
00:36:57,708 --> 00:37:00,159
- Are you healing me?
- I think so.
625
00:37:00,263 --> 00:37:03,473
- Ah.
- As Laozi says, "To the mind that is still..."
626
00:37:03,576 --> 00:37:06,476
- "...the whole universe surrenders."
- Hey, yeah, I know some...
627
00:37:06,579 --> 00:37:09,375
I know some, um,
quotes that could be good for this moment.
628
00:37:09,479 --> 00:37:11,205
In omnia paratus.
629
00:37:12,102 --> 00:37:13,966
"Ready for anything."
630
00:37:14,070 --> 00:37:16,727
Maybe we shouldn't be just staring
lovingly into each other's eyes
631
00:37:16,831 --> 00:37:20,283
like you're gonna fall in love
like I'm not here.
632
00:37:20,835 --> 00:37:21,801
Who are you?
633
00:37:21,905 --> 00:37:24,632
Just a guy trying to do his job.
634
00:37:24,735 --> 00:37:27,531
And right now, that job
is to get this lovely lady...
635
00:37:28,360 --> 00:37:29,878
Oh! Oh.
636
00:37:29,982 --> 00:37:31,880
Oh, God. Okay.
637
00:37:33,054 --> 00:37:35,263
No. What is happening?
638
00:37:38,715 --> 00:37:40,682
Okay. What do we do?
639
00:37:40,786 --> 00:37:42,891
We need to do... I can't see.
640
00:37:42,995 --> 00:37:44,410
I don't like it!
641
00:37:44,514 --> 00:37:45,998
Here. Here!
642
00:37:46,102 --> 00:37:48,552
- Why would you throw a gun?
- Seriously?
643
00:37:49,933 --> 00:37:52,763
- Get me out of the chair.
- I can't. We don't have time.
644
00:37:56,319 --> 00:37:58,390
Gotta squeeze!
You got to do a Kegel or something!
645
00:37:58,493 --> 00:38:00,875
- Kegel it!
- What do you think a Kegel is?
646
00:38:00,979 --> 00:38:03,360
I'm not in it, not in!
Still not in!
647
00:38:03,464 --> 00:38:05,845
- You got to go in more.
- Stop. Stop. Stop it!
648
00:38:05,949 --> 00:38:07,951
Oh, oh, oh!
649
00:38:08,055 --> 00:38:11,575
Oh, God. Get in the car, get in the car!
Start the car! Start the car!
650
00:38:11,679 --> 00:38:12,956
- Go, go.
- Move your leg.
651
00:38:13,060 --> 00:38:15,372
- Which one?
- Both of them! Move them!
652
00:38:19,135 --> 00:38:21,102
- Forward, forward!
- Okay. Okay.
653
00:38:21,206 --> 00:38:25,520
- I'm going! I'm going! Okay!
- Drive!
654
00:38:26,659 --> 00:38:30,284
Shh. You're safe now. Shh.
655
00:38:31,940 --> 00:38:33,321
Ow.
656
00:38:33,425 --> 00:38:35,565
- Shh. You're safe now.
- No, I'm not. Not safe.
657
00:38:35,668 --> 00:38:37,429
Oh, no, am I bleeding?
658
00:38:37,532 --> 00:38:40,535
- I don't think that's yours.
- Oh, no, that's a lot of blood.
659
00:38:41,847 --> 00:38:43,676
Cheese and rice!
660
00:38:43,780 --> 00:38:45,264
- Are those his brains?
- What?
661
00:38:45,368 --> 00:38:47,335
I think his brains
are on my face!
662
00:38:47,439 --> 00:38:51,063
Definitely his brains are in my mouth.
I can taste his thoughts!
663
00:38:51,167 --> 00:38:52,375
Focus on the road.
664
00:38:52,478 --> 00:38:54,618
He just liked
training people. Trainer.
665
00:38:54,722 --> 00:38:57,587
- What are you talking about?
- He loved me.
666
00:38:57,690 --> 00:39:00,279
Can you just scooch the car
over to the left?
667
00:39:00,383 --> 00:39:04,111
- Get it off. Get it off.
- Oh, God.
668
00:39:04,214 --> 00:39:05,491
Watch out!
669
00:39:09,702 --> 00:39:12,602
Oh! Oh! Oh!
670
00:39:14,845 --> 00:39:16,606
Oh, did you see...
671
00:39:19,574 --> 00:39:20,610
No.
672
00:39:26,029 --> 00:39:27,341
Oh.
673
00:39:28,790 --> 00:39:31,103
Oh, no. Oh, no.
674
00:39:31,655 --> 00:39:33,140
Oh, no.
675
00:39:41,562 --> 00:39:43,115
Oh, no.
676
00:39:43,805 --> 00:39:45,600
Alan?
677
00:39:45,704 --> 00:39:49,294
Oh, holy Christmas.
Are you okay? Are you okay?
678
00:39:49,397 --> 00:39:51,468
Do you think you could
get me out of here?
679
00:39:51,572 --> 00:39:53,125
Yeah. Okay.
680
00:39:53,229 --> 00:39:56,128
- You just flew out of the car.
- I did. I did, indeed.
681
00:39:56,232 --> 00:39:57,681
Okay. I got you.
I got you.
682
00:39:57,785 --> 00:40:00,236
Can you get me out of the chair?
Get me out of the chair.
683
00:40:00,339 --> 00:40:02,169
You're right.
You're right. You're right.
684
00:40:03,515 --> 00:40:05,344
- Is that... Is that a nail filer?
- Yeah.
685
00:40:05,448 --> 00:40:06,932
- Can you just rip it?
- It's working.
686
00:40:07,035 --> 00:40:08,830
And maybe next time
I toss a gun at you,
687
00:40:08,934 --> 00:40:10,832
you can catch it
instead of ducking.
688
00:40:10,936 --> 00:40:14,146
How about the next time you toss a gun
at me, you say, "Hey, Alan, catch"?
689
00:40:14,250 --> 00:40:16,114
Then maybe do that
before you throw it?
690
00:40:16,217 --> 00:40:18,323
Well, "here"
is a synonym for "catch."
691
00:40:18,426 --> 00:40:19,945
No, "here" is not a cinnamon
for "catch."
692
00:40:20,048 --> 00:40:22,120
In a colloquial kind of way,
yes, it is.
693
00:40:22,223 --> 00:40:24,329
You say, "Here,"
I toss you a sweatshirt.
694
00:40:24,432 --> 00:40:26,434
You say, "Here,"
I toss you a pen.
695
00:40:26,538 --> 00:40:29,610
How 'bout just,
"Hey! Catch! Gun!"
696
00:40:29,713 --> 00:40:32,716
Anything that you want to throw,
I'll catch it because you said, "Catch."
697
00:40:32,820 --> 00:40:34,580
And I'll catch it
because you said it.
698
00:40:34,684 --> 00:40:37,100
That is also an option,
and then we would have a gun with us.
699
00:40:37,204 --> 00:40:38,308
That's a thing.
700
00:40:38,412 --> 00:40:40,690
- Be careful.
- Okay, we need to call...
701
00:40:40,793 --> 00:40:42,450
Be careful.
702
00:40:42,554 --> 00:40:45,073
We need to call for help,
get to the airport and get out of here.
703
00:40:45,177 --> 00:40:47,179
- And I am driving.
- Okay.
704
00:40:49,388 --> 00:40:52,253
Oh. Oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh!
705
00:41:01,987 --> 00:41:04,369
Okay, call for...
call for help.
706
00:41:04,472 --> 00:41:06,267
Where's your phone?
707
00:41:09,650 --> 00:41:10,685
Okay.
708
00:41:14,310 --> 00:41:17,140
- Tell me you caught them.
- I tagged the blond one.
709
00:41:18,797 --> 00:41:21,627
Oh, Loretta.
710
00:41:21,731 --> 00:41:23,802
What are you thinking?
711
00:41:23,905 --> 00:41:27,012
You might've killed one of them,
but his partner's still with her.
712
00:41:27,115 --> 00:41:30,774
And he is clearly skilled,
highly trained
713
00:41:31,775 --> 00:41:33,432
and very dangerous.
714
00:41:43,235 --> 00:41:47,308
So, Miss Sage said
she was gonna leave the event,
715
00:41:47,412 --> 00:41:52,071
then got in a car
and left the event?
716
00:41:52,175 --> 00:41:54,867
- Did you try calling her?
- She doesn't have her phone.
717
00:41:54,971 --> 00:41:56,386
- Stolen phone.
- Didn't say that.
718
00:41:56,490 --> 00:41:58,250
Where's my magnifier?
719
00:41:58,354 --> 00:42:00,356
Listen, can you please
help with Nana?
720
00:42:00,459 --> 00:42:02,841
I don't want her hearing about Loretta
'cause it's going to upset her.
721
00:42:02,944 --> 00:42:06,016
- What about Loretta?
- Nothing, Nana. She just went on a trip.
722
00:42:06,120 --> 00:42:07,397
- Good.
- Yeah.
723
00:42:07,501 --> 00:42:09,951
That girl needed
to get out of the house.
724
00:42:10,055 --> 00:42:14,232
So, this is the thing.
Loretta's phone is not stolen. I took it.
725
00:42:14,335 --> 00:42:18,788
I gave it to Alan. Alan then gave
it to the trainer, uh, Jack Trainer.
726
00:42:18,891 --> 00:42:21,169
And that is how we found
her wearable.
727
00:42:21,273 --> 00:42:22,964
- And who's Alan?
- Dash.
728
00:42:23,068 --> 00:42:25,898
- What's that?
- He's the hero in all of her books.
729
00:42:26,002 --> 00:42:29,039
- Nana. Hey, slut.
- Mm-mmm.
730
00:42:29,143 --> 00:42:32,077
Let's go in the other room and talk
about whichever war you lived through.
731
00:42:32,180 --> 00:42:35,322
Okay. Come on, it'll be fun.
I'm sorry. It'll be fun.
732
00:42:35,425 --> 00:42:37,358
Listen, Loretta Sage is missing.
733
00:42:37,462 --> 00:42:39,671
When I looked at her smartwatch,
it said that she had flown
734
00:42:39,774 --> 00:42:41,431
to some island
I've never even heard about.
735
00:42:41,535 --> 00:42:43,261
That means y'all need
to do something about this.
736
00:42:43,364 --> 00:42:45,746
And if you can't, I will,
and that won't look good for you.
737
00:42:45,849 --> 00:42:48,576
Pretty sure that's
outside our jurisdiction.
738
00:42:48,680 --> 00:42:51,717
- You'd have to call the Feds.
- Okay.
739
00:42:51,821 --> 00:42:54,202
And if you do go to the Feds,
put in a good word for me.
740
00:42:54,306 --> 00:42:56,688
- For me.
- For us.
741
00:43:02,314 --> 00:43:03,833
Oh, oh.
742
00:43:10,874 --> 00:43:13,118
What are you gonna do,
put the car back together?
743
00:43:13,221 --> 00:43:15,431
Well... we could...
744
00:43:31,343 --> 00:43:34,035
- Where did you say the phone was?
- Passenger glove.
745
00:43:34,139 --> 00:43:35,899
- What?
- Passenger glove compartment.
746
00:43:36,003 --> 00:43:37,245
Goodness.
747
00:43:38,350 --> 00:43:39,869
Oh, my God.
748
00:43:39,972 --> 00:43:42,216
Oh, my God. No phone, no car.
We're so gonna die out...
749
00:43:42,320 --> 00:43:44,045
- Here.
- What is this?
750
00:43:44,149 --> 00:43:45,806
Boots for the jungle.
751
00:43:46,669 --> 00:43:48,498
It's not exactly
hiking boots, but...
752
00:43:48,602 --> 00:43:51,259
I figured your feet would be killing
you after wearing heels for this long.
753
00:43:51,363 --> 00:43:53,710
It was the best we could do.
They're Allison's. Sorry.
754
00:43:54,504 --> 00:43:56,575
Oh. Okay, well, thank you.
755
00:43:56,679 --> 00:43:58,474
Here, oh, I got you cheese.
756
00:43:58,577 --> 00:44:00,372
- Oh, my God.
- You got to stay hydrated.
757
00:44:00,476 --> 00:44:02,443
- Thank you so much.
- They didn't have glass bottles,
758
00:44:02,547 --> 00:44:04,549
so we'll definitely
hold onto it and recycle.
759
00:44:07,137 --> 00:44:11,832
Okay, so what we need to do is find a
phone, we need to call the authorities,
760
00:44:11,935 --> 00:44:14,835
and we need to wait here until
somebody comes and rescues us.
761
00:44:14,938 --> 00:44:18,459
Uh... This...
This is the rescue.
762
00:44:18,563 --> 00:44:19,840
No one else is coming.
763
00:44:19,943 --> 00:44:21,911
- I'm sorry?
- I'm the rescue.
764
00:44:22,014 --> 00:44:24,948
It was originally just gonna be me,
then I was like, Trainer should come.
765
00:44:25,052 --> 00:44:26,778
Oh, Trainer. Rest in peace.
766
00:44:26,881 --> 00:44:31,127
So, our best bet is to get to the airport.
See this road right here?
767
00:44:31,230 --> 00:44:33,923
From this area, just take a shortcut
through the jungle to the road.
768
00:44:34,026 --> 00:44:35,925
Did you just say "shortcut
through the jungle"?
769
00:44:36,028 --> 00:44:37,547
- Yeah.
- Okay, do you see us?
770
00:44:37,651 --> 00:44:40,170
- Uh-huh.
- You are not Dash, and I'm not Lovemore. Okay?
771
00:44:40,274 --> 00:44:41,689
I'm Loretta, and you are Alan.
772
00:44:41,793 --> 00:44:44,105
- And jungles eat people like us, okay?
- Eat people.
773
00:44:44,209 --> 00:44:47,523
And I don't want to mess up the jumpsuit.
It's on loan. So we're gonna stay put.
774
00:44:47,626 --> 00:44:49,559
We're not just gonna
stand around here, okay?
775
00:44:49,663 --> 00:44:51,043
We're gonna go
through the jungle,
776
00:44:51,147 --> 00:44:53,252
we're gonna go to the airport
and find a phone,
777
00:44:53,356 --> 00:44:56,359
- so you can have your cake and get what you want.
- "And eat it too"?
778
00:44:56,463 --> 00:44:58,913
If that's what you want to do
with your cake, fine. Let's go.
779
00:44:59,017 --> 00:45:00,950
- That's the only thing you do with cake.
- Not mine.
780
00:45:01,053 --> 00:45:03,504
I don't know what your people
do, but my people eat it.
781
00:45:03,608 --> 00:45:05,817
You could give it
to someone as a gift.
782
00:45:05,920 --> 00:45:08,129
Those people
are still going to eat the cake.
783
00:45:08,233 --> 00:45:09,786
Everybody eats cake.
784
00:45:09,890 --> 00:45:11,719
What about the kind
people jump out of?
785
00:45:11,823 --> 00:45:14,757
- They don't eat it, when they're in it.
- Oh, my God.
786
00:45:41,059 --> 00:45:42,647
What did they
kidnap you for anyhow?
787
00:45:42,750 --> 00:45:44,614
Is it some weird sex stuff
like Taken?
788
00:45:44,718 --> 00:45:46,271
Oh, my God, thank you.
789
00:45:46,374 --> 00:45:49,101
I thought so too,
but the guy's one of the Fairfaxes.
790
00:45:49,205 --> 00:45:51,034
- Beverly?
- No, the older one.
791
00:45:51,138 --> 00:45:54,590
The really odd one that had the vlog
on finding Montezuma's treasure.
792
00:45:54,693 --> 00:45:57,109
The dude that was on the news
for trying to raise the Titanic?
793
00:45:57,213 --> 00:45:59,008
Yes,
he's looking for the Crown of Fire.
794
00:45:59,111 --> 00:46:03,081
Wait a minute. Like the actual
Crown of Fire? Like the one...
795
00:46:03,184 --> 00:46:06,533
- So those ruins were...
- They were the Lost City of D, yes.
796
00:46:06,636 --> 00:46:08,949
- What? Are you kidding me right now?
- Shh.
797
00:46:09,052 --> 00:46:10,502
This is like your book.
798
00:46:10,606 --> 00:46:13,436
So we're basically on a Lovemore
and Dash adventure right now?
799
00:46:13,540 --> 00:46:15,542
What is that?
800
00:46:15,645 --> 00:46:18,130
What if Fairfax
actually finds the crown?
801
00:46:18,234 --> 00:46:19,615
He won't. He won't.
802
00:46:21,789 --> 00:46:22,894
- Where do we go?
- Uh...
803
00:46:22,997 --> 00:46:24,965
Oh, oh, oh.
804
00:46:28,037 --> 00:46:30,177
Okay, uh, we need
to get in the water.
805
00:46:30,280 --> 00:46:32,386
- W-What?
- We need to go by river.
806
00:46:32,490 --> 00:46:34,319
No, no, I don't really do water.
807
00:46:34,422 --> 00:46:36,770
What do you mean, "do water"?
I'm not asking you to procreate with it.
808
00:46:36,873 --> 00:46:39,324
Uh, my body and water
don't really go together.
809
00:46:39,427 --> 00:46:41,775
How do you feel about dying? Oh, God.
810
00:46:41,878 --> 00:46:43,742
Hey. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You're okay. You're okay.
811
00:46:43,846 --> 00:46:46,676
- I got you. Fine.
- I can swim. I can swim. Thank you very much.
812
00:46:46,780 --> 00:46:48,851
- Where are you going?
- I'm crossing.
813
00:46:48,954 --> 00:46:50,922
No, we have to stay
in the water.
814
00:46:51,025 --> 00:46:53,476
I researched aquatic counter-tracking
for my book, A Year in the Bush.
815
00:46:53,580 --> 00:46:55,582
They'll lose our tracks
in the water.
816
00:46:55,685 --> 00:46:58,481
Why is it warm here?
Wait, are you peeing?
817
00:46:58,585 --> 00:47:00,587
Just go around it.
818
00:47:29,374 --> 00:47:30,893
Okay, I think...
819
00:47:30,996 --> 00:47:32,895
I think we lost them, right?
820
00:47:32,998 --> 00:47:36,001
Yeah. That wasn't so bad.
Yeah.
821
00:47:36,105 --> 00:47:37,762
Okay, uh...
822
00:47:37,865 --> 00:47:40,281
- Don't panic.
- What do you mean, don't panic?
823
00:47:40,385 --> 00:47:41,593
- Just don't panic.
- No.
824
00:47:41,697 --> 00:47:43,457
Stop saying "panic."
I'm panicking now.
825
00:47:43,561 --> 00:47:45,424
You have something on your back.
826
00:47:46,943 --> 00:47:47,737
No!
827
00:47:47,841 --> 00:47:49,325
- Stop screaming.
- What is that?
828
00:47:49,428 --> 00:47:50,671
- What is that?
- Stop screaming.
829
00:47:50,775 --> 00:47:52,224
- Do you have any on you?
- No. No.
830
00:47:52,328 --> 00:47:53,778
Why don't you have any on you?
831
00:47:53,881 --> 00:47:55,676
Maybe the jumpsuit scared them off.
I don't know.
832
00:47:55,780 --> 00:47:57,298
- Get 'em off.
- Oh, my God.
833
00:47:57,402 --> 00:47:59,922
Okay. No, I can't touch
those blood-gorged mucous sacks.
834
00:48:00,025 --> 00:48:01,475
- Can you fling it?
- Right now.
835
00:48:01,579 --> 00:48:02,959
- Get it.
- Just pick it and fling it.
836
00:48:03,063 --> 00:48:04,961
- Just pick it and fling it.
- You pick it and fling it!
837
00:48:05,065 --> 00:48:07,136
- Can you spin it off?
- Please, get it off.
838
00:48:07,239 --> 00:48:09,276
I don't like touching it.
I'm feeling faint.
839
00:48:09,379 --> 00:48:12,486
- They're sucking my soul out.
- Okay, okay. Stop, stop, stop.
840
00:48:14,143 --> 00:48:16,386
Don't make that sound.
841
00:48:19,976 --> 00:48:21,460
How many of them are there?
842
00:48:21,564 --> 00:48:23,083
Oh, there's not many.
843
00:48:23,186 --> 00:48:25,188
- It feels like there's so many.
- What are you...
844
00:48:25,292 --> 00:48:26,604
- I feel so many.
- Oh!
845
00:48:26,707 --> 00:48:29,261
- Holy mother of God!
- Why are you praying?
846
00:48:29,365 --> 00:48:32,402
Is it that bad? It can't be that bad.
Is it that bad? How many?
847
00:48:32,506 --> 00:48:33,749
It's not great.
848
00:48:33,852 --> 00:48:35,509
They're gonna suck
every bit of me out.
849
00:48:35,613 --> 00:48:38,270
Just please stop speaking.
I just need to... need to get low.
850
00:48:38,374 --> 00:48:40,100
Hold on a second.
851
00:48:40,203 --> 00:48:42,999
Oh, God! I can feel them just...
they're just sucking out so much.
852
00:48:43,103 --> 00:48:45,968
I'm gonna be like a shriveled-up
skin sack when they're done.
853
00:48:46,071 --> 00:48:48,039
You cannot tell my dad
I died this way, okay?
854
00:48:48,142 --> 00:48:52,181
You gotta tell him I was wrestling an
anaconda with a sword or something.
855
00:48:52,284 --> 00:48:55,080
I'm like a blood Jamba Juice.
They're just sucking it all out.
856
00:48:55,184 --> 00:48:56,806
Why are they all
on my butt though?
857
00:48:56,910 --> 00:48:59,533
Kind of like picking anchovies
off my Caesar salad.
858
00:48:59,637 --> 00:49:01,362
- It's actually not so bad.
- Anchovies?
859
00:49:01,466 --> 00:49:03,054
Why do you go to food right now?
860
00:49:03,157 --> 00:49:06,022
Just find the queen,
and let's be done with this.
861
00:49:06,126 --> 00:49:08,473
Think you're good.
I need to just check your front.
862
00:49:08,576 --> 00:49:10,820
Okay. I can't look.
863
00:49:13,064 --> 00:49:14,375
Is it bad?
864
00:49:14,479 --> 00:49:17,585
- Uh, wow.
- What is it? Just say it.
865
00:49:17,689 --> 00:49:21,037
I mean, you expect it to,
you know, not...
866
00:49:21,141 --> 00:49:23,868
Then suddenly there it is,
and it is, uh...
867
00:49:23,971 --> 00:49:26,215
- You know, you get excited for a person.
- What?
868
00:49:26,318 --> 00:49:28,942
- I mean, I'm excited for all people.
- Why are you excited?
869
00:49:29,045 --> 00:49:31,358
Well, you know, people
wonder, they wonder,
870
00:49:31,461 --> 00:49:33,084
but they don't know, right?
871
00:49:33,187 --> 00:49:35,673
They don't,
until suddenly they do know,
872
00:49:35,776 --> 00:49:40,091
and then they... they know
something that wasn't known before.
873
00:49:40,194 --> 00:49:42,058
Just...
Do I have any leeches or not?
874
00:49:42,162 --> 00:49:46,269
Oh, your plucky warrior hangs
in tranquil solitude.
875
00:49:46,373 --> 00:49:47,477
What?
876
00:49:47,581 --> 00:49:49,721
No, you're good.
You're good.
877
00:49:50,860 --> 00:49:52,586
We were so brave just then.
878
00:49:52,690 --> 00:49:54,933
Why do they go for the butt
so much?
879
00:50:16,230 --> 00:50:19,095
What's that song you're singing?
880
00:50:19,199 --> 00:50:22,202
A song my abbi used to sing
to me when I was a kid.
881
00:50:23,168 --> 00:50:25,826
- "If you suck life from the island...
- Yeah?
882
00:50:25,930 --> 00:50:28,726
...the island
will suck of you."
883
00:50:28,829 --> 00:50:32,764
Your grandma sang you songs about
getting sucked off by an island?
884
00:50:32,868 --> 00:50:35,215
It doesn't translate super well.
885
00:50:36,112 --> 00:50:38,943
Is phantom leech syndrome,
like, a thing?
886
00:50:39,046 --> 00:50:41,048
They don't lay eggs, do they?
887
00:51:30,166 --> 00:51:31,374
Queen Taha?
888
00:51:44,974 --> 00:51:49,358
"King Kalaman
and his treasure laid to rest...
889
00:51:50,290 --> 00:51:53,949
laid to rest
in the well of endless tears.
890
00:51:54,052 --> 00:51:55,985
Laid to rest in
the well of endless tears."
891
00:51:56,089 --> 00:51:57,953
- What does that mean?
- Loretta!
892
00:51:58,643 --> 00:52:00,369
You gave me a heart attack.
893
00:52:01,059 --> 00:52:02,716
Where'd you go?
894
00:52:06,789 --> 00:52:08,342
What is this?
895
00:52:08,446 --> 00:52:11,690
I'm not sure,
but maybe they gathered here?
896
00:52:14,245 --> 00:52:16,903
Can you imagine
being right here,
897
00:52:17,006 --> 00:52:19,664
right in this very spot
back then?
898
00:52:19,767 --> 00:52:21,493
The stories that they told?
899
00:52:21,597 --> 00:52:24,358
So much history I'm sure
happened right here.
900
00:52:29,674 --> 00:52:31,055
They've got us cornered.
901
00:52:31,158 --> 00:52:32,850
- Okay. We've got to go up. Come on.
- What?
902
00:52:32,953 --> 00:52:36,060
Have you seen what I'm wearing?
I'm in a glitter straitjacket.
903
00:52:36,163 --> 00:52:39,132
There's nowhere to go but up.
Come on. Let's go.
904
00:52:39,235 --> 00:52:42,790
Oh! I should not be doing this.
I'm too old for this.
905
00:52:42,894 --> 00:52:43,999
No, you're not.
You're beautiful.
906
00:52:44,102 --> 00:52:45,759
I didn't say I'm not beautiful.
907
00:52:45,863 --> 00:52:47,761
I said I'm too old
to be doing this.
908
00:52:47,865 --> 00:52:51,489
My skill is sitting and thinking
and eating when I can't think.
909
00:52:51,592 --> 00:52:54,009
Yeah, you definitely could be
wearing better shoes for this.
910
00:52:54,112 --> 00:52:56,011
You brought me these shoes.
911
00:52:56,114 --> 00:52:58,668
I can't go any further.
I can't go any further.
912
00:52:58,772 --> 00:53:00,498
I'm not doing so great here.
913
00:53:00,601 --> 00:53:02,017
You got it. Come on.
914
00:53:02,120 --> 00:53:03,984
I know you think
that you're safer holding on,
915
00:53:04,088 --> 00:53:05,365
but you have to keep going.
916
00:53:05,468 --> 00:53:07,367
- I can't. I can't, I can't.
- Okay?
917
00:53:08,161 --> 00:53:09,610
- Do you smell that?
- Smell what?
918
00:53:09,714 --> 00:53:11,474
- I smell something.
- Is it a predator? What is it?
919
00:53:11,578 --> 00:53:13,511
- A downward cascading fire?
- You got to smell deeper.
920
00:53:13,614 --> 00:53:14,788
I don't smell anything!
921
00:53:18,205 --> 00:53:21,450
Take a big, deep breath.
922
00:53:21,553 --> 00:53:22,865
All right.
923
00:53:22,969 --> 00:53:24,591
- Good job.
- Okay.
924
00:53:24,694 --> 00:53:28,319
- That was manipulative. Thank you.
- Yeah, it was.
925
00:53:28,422 --> 00:53:30,908
Here we go. I'm gonna help you
out a little bit, all right?
926
00:53:31,011 --> 00:53:33,082
- One, two, three... Here we go!
- What are you doing?
927
00:53:33,186 --> 00:53:34,566
- Get out of there.
- Come on.
928
00:53:34,670 --> 00:53:36,741
- No, no, don't flex.
- That's my hoo-hoo.
929
00:53:36,844 --> 00:53:39,778
Just ride the head.
Keep the hands moving and ride the head.
930
00:53:39,882 --> 00:53:41,194
- Oh, God.
- You're doing great.
931
00:53:41,297 --> 00:53:43,955
Sorry about the scratchy haircut.
Come on.
932
00:54:04,044 --> 00:54:06,288
Dulcius ex asperis.
933
00:54:06,874 --> 00:54:08,255
What was that?
934
00:54:08,359 --> 00:54:09,877
Oh, nothing.
935
00:54:09,981 --> 00:54:12,225
It was just something
that John and I would say
936
00:54:12,328 --> 00:54:15,469
after we finished
something big, like a...
937
00:54:15,573 --> 00:54:17,540
like an archaeological dig
or a manuscript.
938
00:54:17,644 --> 00:54:20,958
It's Latin. It means
"sweeter after difficulty."
939
00:54:22,097 --> 00:54:23,477
What's...
940
00:54:23,581 --> 00:54:25,514
What's Latin
for "Loretta's a badass"?
941
00:54:25,617 --> 00:54:30,105
I am a badass.
I climbed a mountain.
942
00:54:30,208 --> 00:54:33,177
Oh, my God. I wish Beth
could've seen us do this.
943
00:54:33,280 --> 00:54:36,111
- Oh, God. Beth.
- Don't worry about Beth.
944
00:54:36,214 --> 00:54:39,700
She's probably got the whole
navy after us right now.
945
00:54:39,804 --> 00:54:42,876
I get that you think you have
to go to the island authorities yourself,
946
00:54:42,980 --> 00:54:46,397
but don't worry, I'm keeping
Loretta's socials super active.
947
00:54:46,500 --> 00:54:48,882
Just tweeted,
"Did I just get kidnapped?
948
00:54:48,986 --> 00:54:52,506
#FML, @ShawnMendes,
#ShawnMendes."
949
00:54:52,610 --> 00:54:54,267
And you're traveling alone?
950
00:54:54,370 --> 00:54:57,201
Yes, I'm traveling alone.
Mm-hmm. I'm single.
951
00:54:57,787 --> 00:54:58,996
Then this might work.
952
00:54:59,099 --> 00:55:00,928
- Okay! Talk to me.
- You'll hit New York.
953
00:55:01,032 --> 00:55:04,553
From there, you'll fly to Guinea,
where you can pick up a puddle jumper.
954
00:55:04,656 --> 00:55:05,726
A what?
955
00:55:06,658 --> 00:55:08,143
- Small plane.
- Yeah, no leg room.
956
00:55:08,246 --> 00:55:09,420
That's fine. I'll take it.
957
00:55:09,523 --> 00:55:11,560
- Or you could just come home.
- Thank you.
958
00:55:19,430 --> 00:55:21,915
We need something more flammable.
Everything is just so wet.
959
00:55:22,019 --> 00:55:23,537
What's in here?
What's in your bag?
960
00:55:23,641 --> 00:55:25,505
- Uh...
- Oh, a lot. Okay.
961
00:55:25,608 --> 00:55:27,058
What are you doing?
962
00:55:27,162 --> 00:55:29,026
Okay. Face masks.
963
00:55:29,129 --> 00:55:30,544
Yeah, that was like
a gift-basket thing.
964
00:55:30,648 --> 00:55:32,615
You brought a scented candle
into the jungle?
965
00:55:32,719 --> 00:55:33,996
My mom gave me that.
966
00:55:34,100 --> 00:55:35,653
It was like a weird gift
for Mother's Day.
967
00:55:35,756 --> 00:55:38,035
Your mom gives you gifts
for Mother's Day?
968
00:55:39,346 --> 00:55:40,140
Noir...
969
00:55:40,244 --> 00:55:42,211
Eucalyptus rosemary oil.
Ooh.
970
00:55:42,798 --> 00:55:44,075
Oh, that smells good.
971
00:55:44,179 --> 00:55:46,353
Um... Oh, okay. All right.
972
00:55:46,457 --> 00:55:48,079
Whoo! Yes!
973
00:55:48,183 --> 00:55:50,633
Yes, I made fire!
974
00:55:50,737 --> 00:55:54,292
- That's pretty impressive. You have to...
- It is a beautiful fire.
975
00:55:54,396 --> 00:55:56,329
Who would have thought?
976
00:55:56,432 --> 00:55:58,917
Oh, you're just, um,
taking your shirt off?
977
00:56:00,022 --> 00:56:02,059
That looks really uncomfortable.
978
00:56:02,162 --> 00:56:04,061
Are you okay? The back?
979
00:56:04,164 --> 00:56:08,237
Yeah. That is why
I don't do water.
980
00:56:08,341 --> 00:56:10,619
- Okay.
- My body becomes an eighth-grader's face.
981
00:56:10,722 --> 00:56:13,587
Do you have anything for it?
Like some ointment or something?
982
00:56:13,691 --> 00:56:15,589
Yeah, I do. Well, I did.
983
00:56:15,693 --> 00:56:17,764
It was in a little,
tiny little bottle.
984
00:56:17,867 --> 00:56:19,835
It was this. I'm sorry.
985
00:56:19,938 --> 00:56:21,975
Oh, God, I'm sorry.
986
00:56:22,079 --> 00:56:23,425
It's okay.
987
00:56:23,528 --> 00:56:25,841
- Hold on. Yes. Come here. Come here.
- What?
988
00:56:25,944 --> 00:56:28,361
- Come here. Sit down.
- Let me see.
989
00:56:28,464 --> 00:56:29,948
- Just sit down.
- Right here?
990
00:56:30,052 --> 00:56:31,260
Yeah.
991
00:56:32,468 --> 00:56:34,091
Okay.
992
00:56:34,194 --> 00:56:36,058
Oh, no, you don't have to touch it.
It's okay. It's fine.
993
00:56:36,162 --> 00:56:38,164
I touched
your engorged sacks, so...
994
00:56:40,373 --> 00:56:42,099
- The leeches.
- Oh, okay.
995
00:56:42,202 --> 00:56:44,998
Okay, this might be
a little bit cold.
996
00:56:46,172 --> 00:56:47,897
- Sorry.
- Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm.
997
00:56:48,001 --> 00:56:49,278
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
998
00:56:49,382 --> 00:56:51,349
Maybe this is how
Dash should die.
999
00:56:51,453 --> 00:56:54,490
Horrible eczema outbreak.
That's so sexy.
1000
00:56:54,594 --> 00:56:56,113
I could make it work.
1001
00:56:56,561 --> 00:56:57,597
Yeah?
1002
00:56:58,253 --> 00:56:59,702
All right, then.
1003
00:57:00,979 --> 00:57:02,705
How would you write this?
1004
00:57:02,809 --> 00:57:04,293
Okay.
1005
00:57:06,192 --> 00:57:09,505
"Warmed
by the fragrant fire..."
1006
00:57:09,609 --> 00:57:12,059
Mm-hmm.
1007
00:57:12,163 --> 00:57:14,061
- Starting strong.
- Mm-hmm.
1008
00:57:14,165 --> 00:57:17,272
"Lovemore's hands
explored the...
1009
00:57:19,032 --> 00:57:21,517
the contoured scenery
1010
00:57:21,621 --> 00:57:23,209
of Dash's body.
1011
00:57:25,349 --> 00:57:28,041
Familiar terrain made
1012
00:57:28,145 --> 00:57:30,492
new and exciting with every...
1013
00:57:31,424 --> 00:57:33,771
with every scarlet rim."
1014
00:57:34,875 --> 00:57:36,567
And that didn't, uh...
1015
00:57:37,395 --> 00:57:38,914
didn't turn her off?
1016
00:57:39,017 --> 00:57:40,226
No.
1017
00:57:41,054 --> 00:57:42,883
"Because with every
cardinal ridge,
1018
00:57:43,884 --> 00:57:46,301
Lovemore discovered
another letter in the language
1019
00:57:46,404 --> 00:57:48,510
that only their bodies spoke."
1020
00:57:49,545 --> 00:57:51,582
And what were
their bodies saying?
1021
00:57:53,549 --> 00:57:55,102
"Take me...
1022
00:57:57,001 --> 00:57:58,623
take me,
1023
00:57:59,210 --> 00:58:00,901
take me."
1024
00:58:01,005 --> 00:58:02,317
How's that?
1025
00:58:03,145 --> 00:58:04,422
It was good.
1026
00:58:04,526 --> 00:58:06,252
- Your back. I mean, how is your back?
- Good.
1027
00:58:06,355 --> 00:58:07,770
- Okay. You sure?
- Yeah.
1028
00:58:07,874 --> 00:58:12,430
- I also meant my back. Right there, yeah.
- Okay.
1029
00:58:20,680 --> 00:58:21,715
Supplies.
1030
00:58:23,855 --> 00:58:28,135
Okay, I'm chilly. I think I'm gonna
probably turn in in a little bit.
1031
00:58:28,239 --> 00:58:29,447
- Okay.
- You good?
1032
00:58:29,551 --> 00:58:32,209
Yeah, I'm fire... fine.
I'm fine.
1033
00:58:32,312 --> 00:58:35,246
I'm not "fire."
I'm fine by the fire.
1034
00:58:35,936 --> 00:58:37,662
Okay. All right.
1035
00:58:45,567 --> 00:58:48,880
Uh, it's up to you,
but if you're cold,
1036
00:58:48,984 --> 00:58:53,195
maybe we could probably both fit in
here, if you wanted to.
1037
00:58:53,851 --> 00:58:55,577
Both of us?
1038
00:58:55,680 --> 00:58:58,718
- Only if you want to. I mean, it's just...
- Yeah, no, that sounds...
1039
00:58:58,821 --> 00:59:00,306
Uh...
1040
00:59:00,409 --> 00:59:01,790
Okay. How do you...
1041
00:59:01,893 --> 00:59:03,861
You can go first,
then I'll figure it out.
1042
00:59:03,964 --> 00:59:07,105
No, no, you go. It's definitely a
"ladies first" type of situation.
1043
00:59:07,209 --> 00:59:09,867
- Keep hands out of the bag at all times.
- That's what I was gonna do.
1044
00:59:09,970 --> 00:59:11,627
- Butt to butt.
- Hands out and butt to butt.
1045
00:59:11,731 --> 00:59:15,044
- Yeah. What do I do?
- Just get in. Go ahead and sit.
1046
00:59:15,148 --> 00:59:17,840
I sit first?
Okay. I'm in.
1047
00:59:19,394 --> 00:59:21,982
You're too heavy. You're gonna
flip this thing like a cruise ship.
1048
00:59:22,086 --> 00:59:24,744
You watch yourself.
Hold on. I'm not in.
1049
00:59:24,847 --> 00:59:28,023
Why is this engaging
my core so much?
1050
00:59:28,817 --> 00:59:30,715
How 'bout you shimmy?
1051
00:59:30,819 --> 00:59:32,924
- I can't breathe. I'm not breathing.
- Are you good?
1052
00:59:33,028 --> 00:59:34,340
My face.
1053
00:59:34,926 --> 00:59:36,169
Yeah. Okay.
1054
00:59:39,276 --> 00:59:40,760
Hands are out. Butt to butt.
1055
00:59:40,863 --> 00:59:41,899
Okay.
1056
01:00:13,102 --> 01:00:14,690
Well!
1057
01:00:14,794 --> 01:00:15,933
Come on.
1058
01:00:16,036 --> 01:00:17,693
Come on! Let's hear it!
1059
01:00:17,797 --> 01:00:21,283
Let's give a nice round
of applause to Loretta!
1060
01:00:21,387 --> 01:00:23,009
She earned it.
1061
01:00:23,112 --> 01:00:26,978
A geriatric shut-in left you
holding your dicks in the jungle.
1062
01:00:27,082 --> 01:00:28,463
Good job, Loretta.
1063
01:00:28,566 --> 01:00:31,086
Boss, come on.
People are dying now.
1064
01:00:31,189 --> 01:00:34,848
Don't you think that maybe
this has all gone too far?
1065
01:00:36,091 --> 01:00:37,817
Is it really worth it?
1066
01:00:37,920 --> 01:00:41,303
I am on the cusp
of attaining the unattainable.
1067
01:00:41,407 --> 01:00:44,410
Something singular,
something no nation,
1068
01:00:44,513 --> 01:00:48,103
no emperor,
no brownnosing brothers ever have.
1069
01:00:48,206 --> 01:00:51,313
The legendary Crown of Fire.
1070
01:00:51,762 --> 01:00:52,901
So, yes.
1071
01:00:53,004 --> 01:00:55,317
Yes, I would definitely say
it's worth it.
1072
01:01:05,051 --> 01:01:06,570
Excuse me!
1073
01:01:06,673 --> 01:01:09,573
Excuse me, sir. I need to get
to my next connecting flight.
1074
01:01:09,676 --> 01:01:11,022
No flight.
1075
01:01:11,126 --> 01:01:13,715
The pilot is sick.
Come tomorrow.
1076
01:01:13,818 --> 01:01:15,958
No, no, sir. I cannot come tomorrow.
I need to do this today.
1077
01:01:16,062 --> 01:01:20,791
I need to get to the island Isla
Hundida tonight. Lives are at stake.
1078
01:01:20,894 --> 01:01:22,379
Come tomorrow.
1079
01:01:26,210 --> 01:01:27,901
- Excuse me, miss?
- Yes?
1080
01:01:28,005 --> 01:01:32,078
I couldn't help but overhear
you say that you like steak.
1081
01:01:32,181 --> 01:01:35,461
Okay, this is
a little bit crazy,
1082
01:01:35,564 --> 01:01:37,359
but I also like steak.
1083
01:01:37,463 --> 01:01:39,810
- What?
- I also like steak.
1084
01:01:39,913 --> 01:01:43,365
Would you like to, maybe,
I don't know...
1085
01:01:43,469 --> 01:01:46,299
- Maybe there's a...
- No. "Lives are at stake."
1086
01:01:46,403 --> 01:01:48,163
I need to go
to the island tonight.
1087
01:01:48,266 --> 01:01:49,682
- Ah.
- Yes.
1088
01:01:49,785 --> 01:01:51,373
- Even more serious.
- Extremely.
1089
01:01:51,477 --> 01:01:54,480
Well, I believe that I
may be able to assist you.
1090
01:01:54,583 --> 01:01:56,516
I have a cargo plane.
1091
01:01:57,690 --> 01:02:01,383
Maybe after I make my delivery,
we could swing by your island.
1092
01:02:01,487 --> 01:02:04,282
I'm about to ask you something,
and you better tell me the truth.
1093
01:02:04,386 --> 01:02:06,250
Have you ever
murdered anyone before?
1094
01:02:06,353 --> 01:02:09,598
No!
1095
01:02:13,188 --> 01:02:15,915
I don't know if I really buy it,
but let me tell you something.
1096
01:02:16,018 --> 01:02:20,264
If you ever think about murdering me,
I promise, I will murder you first.
1097
01:02:20,367 --> 01:02:21,714
My pleasure.
1098
01:02:21,817 --> 01:02:23,957
You are weird. Let's go.
1099
01:03:19,357 --> 01:03:22,775
"King Kalaman and his treasure
laid to rest in the well
1100
01:03:23,430 --> 01:03:24,846
of endless tears."
1101
01:03:26,537 --> 01:03:27,711
What is that?
1102
01:03:28,884 --> 01:03:32,336
Oh, it's a... it's a thing.
I mean, it's not, uh...
1103
01:03:32,439 --> 01:03:34,683
You know, it's not
what you think it is.
1104
01:03:34,787 --> 01:03:38,584
So it's not Fairfax's fragment
of an ancient parchment?
1105
01:03:38,687 --> 01:03:42,484
Okay.
It's what you think it is.
1106
01:03:42,588 --> 01:03:44,037
Loretta, I thought
you were smarter than that.
1107
01:03:44,141 --> 01:03:46,937
Fairfax is never
gonna stop hunting us now.
1108
01:03:47,040 --> 01:03:48,041
What were you thinking?
1109
01:03:48,145 --> 01:03:50,112
We have a volcano
that could bury the tomb
1110
01:03:50,216 --> 01:03:53,771
before we get to it, before we see
it, before we preserve its memory.
1111
01:03:53,875 --> 01:03:55,808
- This is...
- I'm sorry. Is that what we're doing?
1112
01:03:55,911 --> 01:03:58,431
'Cause no one told me.
When were you gonna tell me?
1113
01:03:58,535 --> 01:03:59,950
Why would I tell you?
1114
01:04:00,053 --> 01:04:01,883
We're in this together.
I came here to rescue you.
1115
01:04:01,986 --> 01:04:03,678
You know you're not Dash, right?
1116
01:04:03,781 --> 01:04:06,025
You don't ride in on a white
horse to rescue people.
1117
01:04:06,128 --> 01:04:10,408
You... spray yourself with bronzer and
you stand in front of wind machines,
1118
01:04:10,512 --> 01:04:12,031
which is great for you.
1119
01:04:12,134 --> 01:04:14,792
How would you have any idea
what I'm actually like?
1120
01:04:14,896 --> 01:04:17,830
I know you. You're
a pretty open book, Alan.
1121
01:04:17,933 --> 01:04:19,728
- Okay, then who am I?
- Really?
1122
01:04:19,832 --> 01:04:20,867
Yeah.
1123
01:04:22,938 --> 01:04:25,147
O... Okay, uh...
1124
01:04:25,251 --> 01:04:28,357
You were a homecoming king and you
coasted on your good looks to LA,
1125
01:04:28,461 --> 01:04:30,981
but then realized that being the most
handsome kid in the middle of nowhere
1126
01:04:31,084 --> 01:04:32,810
doesn't mean
you're going to be a star.
1127
01:04:32,914 --> 01:04:34,743
Until one day, when a woman
who couldn't publish her book
1128
01:04:34,847 --> 01:04:38,436
on Spanish colonization in the Atlantic
decided to write a romance novel,
1129
01:04:38,540 --> 01:04:40,473
uh, chose you at random
to be on the cover.
1130
01:04:40,577 --> 01:04:43,994
Lucky for you and her,
the novels were a smashing success.
1131
01:04:44,097 --> 01:04:47,100
She kept writing her schlock,
you kept posing,
1132
01:04:47,204 --> 01:04:52,658
um, you know, neither one of us
becoming who we'd hoped we would be.
1133
01:04:52,761 --> 01:04:56,869
Uh, and then one day,
we both die in the jungle
1134
01:04:56,972 --> 01:05:00,873
on one of those Atlantic islands
I wrote about all those years ago.
1135
01:05:00,976 --> 01:05:02,012
Right?
1136
01:05:03,358 --> 01:05:04,670
Mm-hmm.
1137
01:05:15,957 --> 01:05:17,683
It was Sarasota, by the way.
1138
01:05:18,200 --> 01:05:19,788
It's not nowhere.
1139
01:05:19,892 --> 01:05:22,135
I grew up there with
my mom and two sisters.
1140
01:05:22,239 --> 01:05:23,274
And yeah...
1141
01:05:24,275 --> 01:05:26,968
I started modeling
'cause I wanted to get away.
1142
01:05:27,071 --> 01:05:29,004
It was the only job
that I could think of
1143
01:05:29,108 --> 01:05:32,352
that could take me to all of the
places that I always dreamed of going.
1144
01:05:32,456 --> 01:05:33,768
Then finally to Los Angeles,
1145
01:05:33,871 --> 01:05:36,633
where I posed on the cover
of your romance novel.
1146
01:05:36,736 --> 01:05:39,636
And I was so embarrassed that one
of my friends might've seen me
1147
01:05:39,739 --> 01:05:41,879
in that wig
on the cover of your book
1148
01:05:41,983 --> 01:05:44,641
that I avoided talking to them
for months.
1149
01:05:45,607 --> 01:05:47,091
And then one day,
1150
01:05:47,816 --> 01:05:49,680
I'm walking home,
1151
01:05:49,784 --> 01:05:52,579
and I hear this lady yell,
"Dash!"
1152
01:05:52,683 --> 01:05:55,203
She runs up,
and she is so happy.
1153
01:05:55,306 --> 01:05:59,069
Then I thought,
"How could I be this embarrassed
1154
01:05:59,172 --> 01:06:01,865
about something
that makes people this happy?"
1155
01:06:05,213 --> 01:06:06,904
Loretta, you can do
whatever you want.
1156
01:06:07,008 --> 01:06:09,113
If you don't want to write
anymore, don't write.
1157
01:06:09,217 --> 01:06:13,704
But don't minimize the people that
love your work by calling it schlock.
1158
01:06:13,808 --> 01:06:16,362
That's not fair to them.
1159
01:06:17,570 --> 01:06:20,469
You know what's ironic?
I thought you of all people would know
1160
01:06:20,573 --> 01:06:23,024
not to judge a book
by its cover.
1161
01:06:27,097 --> 01:06:29,686
Judge a book by its cover model.
1162
01:07:01,165 --> 01:07:02,339
Alan?
1163
01:07:02,442 --> 01:07:03,720
Alan.
1164
01:07:15,697 --> 01:07:17,043
There's two of them.
1165
01:07:23,153 --> 01:07:25,845
- Loretta! I'm over here!
- Alan!
1166
01:07:26,915 --> 01:07:29,987
Alan! Motorcycles and guns,
motorcycles and guns!
1167
01:07:30,091 --> 01:07:32,231
Come on, this way!
1168
01:07:32,334 --> 01:07:33,957
Stop shooting!
1169
01:07:39,203 --> 01:07:41,171
- Just give 'em the parchment!
- I can't.
1170
01:07:41,274 --> 01:07:43,932
Yes, you can, actually.
You just say, "Here," and throw it at 'em.
1171
01:07:44,036 --> 01:07:46,348
Right. And then I'm sure
they'll happily let us go.
1172
01:07:46,452 --> 01:07:48,454
- Okay, keep down.
- How do they keep finding us?
1173
01:07:48,557 --> 01:07:51,043
- You're basically a walking disco ball.
- We need to come up with a plan.
1174
01:07:51,146 --> 01:07:52,216
I have an idea.
1175
01:07:52,320 --> 01:07:53,770
We're gonna dig a hole,
throw our voices.
1176
01:07:53,873 --> 01:07:55,806
"We're over here."
Can you sound like a bird?
1177
01:07:55,910 --> 01:07:58,222
- No, I have a plan.
- Alan, please, I'm thinking.
1178
01:07:58,326 --> 01:08:02,019
- I know, but I have a plan.
- Please, just let me think about...
1179
01:08:02,123 --> 01:08:05,747
- Wait a minute. They're shooting at you.
- Yeah, that's why we're hiding.
1180
01:08:05,851 --> 01:08:08,163
No. No, no, no.
They're shooting only at you.
1181
01:08:08,267 --> 01:08:10,787
They won't shoot me.
It's my brain that's valuable.
1182
01:08:10,890 --> 01:08:14,756
What? I don't think you actually
hear the things you say sometimes.
1183
01:08:14,860 --> 01:08:17,552
- Maybe I can shield you.
- You are not shielding me.
1184
01:08:17,655 --> 01:08:19,899
- I should be shielding you.
- Why? Because I'm a woman?
1185
01:08:20,003 --> 01:08:23,075
- That's supremely sexist.
- Well, look, I don't think using women as human shields
1186
01:08:23,178 --> 01:08:25,905
is exactly the change that Gloria
Seinfeld had in mind, do you?
1187
01:08:26,009 --> 01:08:28,839
- Gloria Steinem?
- Whatever. Her too. You know what? Fine.
1188
01:08:28,943 --> 01:08:32,015
- Please mansplain sexism to me right now.
- Oh, my God. I am a woman.
1189
01:08:32,118 --> 01:08:34,224
I can't mansplain anything.
1190
01:08:34,327 --> 01:08:39,056
Uh, I'm a feminist, and I think a
woman can do anything a man can do.
1191
01:08:39,160 --> 01:08:41,610
- We just need to stay here until they get tired.
- I have an idea.
1192
01:08:41,714 --> 01:08:43,405
- Please can I tell you my plan?
- Alan!
1193
01:08:43,509 --> 01:08:46,823
This is not a situation you can get
out of by ripping your shirt off.
1194
01:08:46,926 --> 01:08:48,859
Not my shirt.
1195
01:09:20,304 --> 01:09:21,616
Three!
1196
01:09:21,719 --> 01:09:23,307
- Yes!
- Oh!
1197
01:09:27,415 --> 01:09:29,279
Oh.
1198
01:09:29,382 --> 01:09:32,627
That was different
than I had in my head.
1199
01:09:32,730 --> 01:09:36,803
- I just wanted us to stop them.
- Could it have been the wind that made it do that?
1200
01:09:36,907 --> 01:09:39,013
No, I think it was us.
I think... we did it.
1201
01:09:39,116 --> 01:09:41,532
We did the one guy, right?
But that was, like...
1202
01:09:41,636 --> 01:09:44,984
We just wanted him to stop. But I think
the other guy could've moved, really.
1203
01:09:45,088 --> 01:09:47,228
So, that was...
that one was on him.
1204
01:09:47,331 --> 01:09:50,196
Even if we weren't here,
that could've happened.
1205
01:09:50,300 --> 01:09:52,026
Why are you gonna stop
next to a cliff?
1206
01:09:52,129 --> 01:09:54,580
They were wearing helmets,
so maybe they're...
1207
01:09:54,683 --> 01:09:56,858
But the rest of their body
didn't have a helmet.
1208
01:09:56,962 --> 01:09:58,170
So there'd just be a head.
1209
01:09:58,273 --> 01:10:00,551
They were driving
recklessly, right?
1210
01:10:00,655 --> 01:10:02,381
Don't be mean on a bike.
1211
01:10:03,071 --> 01:10:04,831
Don't do mean stuff on a bike.
1212
01:10:08,628 --> 01:10:10,872
I mean, perhaps they're fine.
1213
01:10:10,976 --> 01:10:13,392
Yeah, probably not.
But that's okay.
1214
01:10:13,495 --> 01:10:17,775
That's all right.
You know, things happen. Let's go.
1215
01:10:19,985 --> 01:10:23,160
- You gonna put it back together?
- It's on loan.
1216
01:10:35,966 --> 01:10:38,279
- Look at me.
- Okay.
1217
01:10:39,176 --> 01:10:41,213
What more can I do, you know?
1218
01:10:41,316 --> 01:10:43,249
You've done so much already,
Beth.
1219
01:10:43,353 --> 01:10:46,390
My poor, sweet, little Nana
has lost her sight.
1220
01:10:46,494 --> 01:10:49,221
The book release
is a complete disaster,
1221
01:10:49,324 --> 01:10:50,981
which I've leveraged
everything on,
1222
01:10:51,085 --> 01:10:53,432
so I'm probably,
most definitely broke right now.
1223
01:10:53,535 --> 01:10:56,780
And most importantly,
I've lost a writer.
1224
01:10:56,883 --> 01:10:58,437
Who does that?
Who loses a writer?
1225
01:10:58,540 --> 01:11:03,062
Okay, Beth, you remind me
of my best friend, Randy.
1226
01:11:03,166 --> 01:11:05,651
Always looking out
for other people,
1227
01:11:05,754 --> 01:11:08,102
never taking care of herself.
1228
01:11:09,103 --> 01:11:10,518
Isn't that right, Randy?
1229
01:11:13,038 --> 01:11:14,901
She's like my therapist,
this one over here.
1230
01:11:15,005 --> 01:11:17,111
LOL. "Laughing Out Loud."
1231
01:11:17,214 --> 01:11:19,182
After you take care
of your friend,
1232
01:11:20,079 --> 01:11:21,425
how about we go to a beach?
1233
01:11:21,529 --> 01:11:24,014
- What?
- Look, I have a pickup in Hawaii.
1234
01:11:24,118 --> 01:11:26,085
She doesn't have to come.
1235
01:11:26,189 --> 01:11:28,985
Okay! Okay, you can come!
1236
01:11:29,088 --> 01:11:31,090
She's hilarious.
1237
01:11:31,884 --> 01:11:33,713
Let me ask you something.
1238
01:11:33,817 --> 01:11:35,922
We're all sitting here chitchatting,
but who's flying the plane?
1239
01:11:36,026 --> 01:11:37,959
- Autopilot.
- What?
1240
01:11:38,063 --> 01:11:40,789
Sir, go to the cockpit,
fly the plane.
1241
01:11:41,238 --> 01:11:42,239
Okay.
1242
01:11:42,999 --> 01:11:44,759
I'm going to go land the plane.
1243
01:11:44,862 --> 01:11:46,312
Okay.
1244
01:11:46,416 --> 01:11:48,314
No, no, no. Take the goat.
Please, take the goat.
1245
01:11:48,418 --> 01:11:51,076
She's on break.
Enjoy the flight!
1246
01:12:26,490 --> 01:12:27,836
- Hi.
- Hola.
1247
01:12:32,289 --> 01:12:34,981
This English dude came in
and basically kidnapped her.
1248
01:12:37,122 --> 01:12:40,435
Hey, it's Beth. Please leave a message,
and I'll get right back to you.
1249
01:12:40,539 --> 01:12:43,404
Uh, hi, Beth.
1250
01:12:43,507 --> 01:12:44,508
It's me.
1251
01:12:44,612 --> 01:12:46,441
Uh, I'm alive!
1252
01:12:47,166 --> 01:12:49,203
Uh, listen, um...
1253
01:12:50,514 --> 01:12:51,550
Uh...
1254
01:12:52,999 --> 01:12:57,107
I'm sorry that I
blew up the book tour.
1255
01:12:57,211 --> 01:12:58,936
Um...
1256
01:12:59,040 --> 01:13:01,422
I was just afraid
1257
01:13:02,561 --> 01:13:04,218
and selfish. Uh...
1258
01:13:04,321 --> 01:13:07,048
Oh, here comes Alan.
I'll call you back.
1259
01:13:10,224 --> 01:13:13,227
So, uh, police
are searching for Fairfax,
1260
01:13:13,330 --> 01:13:15,781
and they're gonna provide us
protection while we're here.
1261
01:13:15,884 --> 01:13:17,714
Did they say
how long we'd be here?
1262
01:13:17,817 --> 01:13:20,475
They're gonna try to get us on a
puddle jumper later this evening.
1263
01:13:20,579 --> 01:13:22,788
But, uh, they said in the
meantime, the inn is really nice,
1264
01:13:22,891 --> 01:13:25,480
and we can get cleaned up
and maybe a change of clothes.
1265
01:13:25,584 --> 01:13:26,999
Okay.
1266
01:13:30,451 --> 01:13:32,004
Okay. Yeah.
1267
01:14:24,781 --> 01:14:26,231
Thank you.
1268
01:14:26,817 --> 01:14:30,062
Come on.
1269
01:14:30,166 --> 01:14:31,408
Dance with your husband.
1270
01:14:31,512 --> 01:14:33,307
- No, no, no.
- He's not my husband.
1271
01:14:33,410 --> 01:14:35,136
- It's okay.
- Dance with him.
1272
01:14:35,240 --> 01:14:37,725
No, no. She doesn't want to.
She doesn't have the right shoes.
1273
01:14:37,828 --> 01:14:40,348
Actually, it's the only thing
these shoes are right for.
1274
01:14:40,452 --> 01:14:42,695
You don't have to do this.
1275
01:14:42,799 --> 01:14:44,559
It's okay. It's okay.
1276
01:14:45,457 --> 01:14:46,423
Yeah?
1277
01:16:05,053 --> 01:16:06,745
I wonder what she's saying.
1278
01:16:09,126 --> 01:16:10,611
It's folklore.
1279
01:16:12,026 --> 01:16:14,062
Love song about a woman
1280
01:16:14,166 --> 01:16:17,480
whose lover died,
and she didn't want to leave his side.
1281
01:16:18,515 --> 01:16:21,346
So she laid down
and refused to get up.
1282
01:16:21,932 --> 01:16:23,693
Must be scary.
1283
01:16:23,796 --> 01:16:27,697
Having to face your future without
the person that you planned it with.
1284
01:16:40,054 --> 01:16:41,607
What was that?
1285
01:16:43,747 --> 01:16:47,406
Excuse me. Excuse me. The, um...
the last line that you sang.
1286
01:16:47,510 --> 01:16:49,857
¿Quién llorará junto a mí?
1287
01:16:52,791 --> 01:16:55,621
"The island will weep for
me in the well of endless tears."
1288
01:16:55,725 --> 01:16:59,107
What is that, the well of endless tears?
Is that a real place, or...
1289
01:16:59,211 --> 01:17:00,833
Sinkhole place.
1290
01:17:02,628 --> 01:17:04,354
Thank you. Gracias, gracias.
1291
01:17:04,458 --> 01:17:06,529
- Come here, come here.
- What is it?
1292
01:17:08,151 --> 01:17:09,980
Hey, on the parchment, it said,
1293
01:17:10,084 --> 01:17:14,157
"King Kalaman and his treasure laid
to rest in the well of endless tears."
1294
01:17:14,260 --> 01:17:16,366
I thought
maybe it was a metaphor.
1295
01:17:16,884 --> 01:17:18,437
It's not.
1296
01:17:18,541 --> 01:17:21,406
The Well of Endless Tears
is a place.
1297
01:17:21,509 --> 01:17:23,511
It's a sinkhole.
1298
01:17:23,615 --> 01:17:25,789
There's a sinkhole on the map.
1299
01:17:27,135 --> 01:17:28,896
I think the tomb is there.
1300
01:17:28,999 --> 01:17:31,381
- This is so much better than your books.
- What?
1301
01:17:31,485 --> 01:17:32,969
There's like...
No, I don't mean any offense.
1302
01:17:33,072 --> 01:17:34,971
- I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
- It's, like, equal.
1303
01:17:35,074 --> 01:17:37,283
- I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
- Look at you. You want to go there.
1304
01:17:37,387 --> 01:17:39,251
- What? No.
- I can see. Yes, you do.
1305
01:17:39,355 --> 01:17:42,461
That would be insane. That would be insane.
I just... I just...
1306
01:17:42,565 --> 01:17:46,948
It's just that we're so close to
it, but, you know, we can't...
1307
01:17:47,052 --> 01:17:48,364
No.
1308
01:17:48,467 --> 01:17:51,159
This is your story.
How do you want to write it?
1309
01:17:51,953 --> 01:17:54,266
I'd like to know
that it's there,
1310
01:17:54,370 --> 01:17:56,026
that all this meant something.
1311
01:17:56,130 --> 01:17:57,994
Okay. Then let's go.
1312
01:17:58,097 --> 01:17:59,961
We'll stay one more day.
As soon as the sun's up,
1313
01:18:00,065 --> 01:18:01,825
we're gonna go find
the Well of Endless Tears.
1314
01:18:01,929 --> 01:18:04,794
- But what if it's nothing?
- So what? Then we say we tried.
1315
01:18:04,897 --> 01:18:06,140
And Fairfax?
1316
01:18:06,243 --> 01:18:08,660
The cops are after Fairfax.
Don't worry about him.
1317
01:18:09,764 --> 01:18:10,558
This is crazy.
1318
01:18:10,662 --> 01:18:12,353
- Yeah, but look at you.
- What?
1319
01:18:12,457 --> 01:18:15,425
It's the very first time I've
ever seen you totally unafraid.
1320
01:18:16,046 --> 01:18:17,772
And alive.
1321
01:18:17,876 --> 01:18:20,396
I'm gonna go tell them our plans
have changed and find us a ride.
1322
01:18:20,499 --> 01:18:21,949
Where are you going?
1323
01:18:25,608 --> 01:18:27,679
I see you met my friend here.
1324
01:18:27,782 --> 01:18:32,166
He told me you were just
about to jump on a plane,
1325
01:18:32,269 --> 01:18:34,720
without so much as
saying goodbye.
1326
01:18:34,824 --> 01:18:38,241
I said, "No way.
Not my Loretta.
1327
01:18:38,344 --> 01:18:42,797
Not when she's the only one
who can lead me to the tomb."
1328
01:18:46,214 --> 01:18:48,285
Stop squeezing so hard.
1329
01:18:49,114 --> 01:18:51,910
Ow. Get your hands off of me!
1330
01:18:52,773 --> 01:18:54,637
Ow! Let go!
1331
01:18:55,120 --> 01:18:56,328
I-I need a car.
1332
01:18:56,432 --> 01:18:58,364
A car, an auto.
Does anybody have an auto?
1333
01:19:06,856 --> 01:19:07,926
No, no. No.
1334
01:19:08,651 --> 01:19:09,962
I-I-I need an auto.
1335
01:19:10,066 --> 01:19:11,412
I'll trade you my watch.
1336
01:19:11,516 --> 01:19:12,931
It's a really expensive watch.
Do you have a car?
1337
01:19:13,034 --> 01:19:14,553
It's a Bulgari.
This thing glows in the dark.
1338
01:19:14,657 --> 01:19:16,452
- It's waterproof.
- I have motorcycle.
1339
01:19:30,051 --> 01:19:31,812
Cool, isn't it?
1340
01:19:31,915 --> 01:19:35,022
I always thought, why can't your
personal tank also have a minibar?
1341
01:19:35,125 --> 01:19:36,610
Have a drink.
1342
01:19:36,713 --> 01:19:38,266
Do you mind?
1343
01:19:38,370 --> 01:19:39,785
Uh, yes.
1344
01:19:39,889 --> 01:19:42,029
He has a bit of a grudge
against you, I'm afraid.
1345
01:19:42,132 --> 01:19:44,928
Something about a motorbike
accident his friends had?
1346
01:19:45,032 --> 01:19:46,205
Why are you doing this?
1347
01:19:46,309 --> 01:19:48,069
I want something
nobody else has.
1348
01:19:48,967 --> 01:19:50,796
When my father gifted...
1349
01:19:53,868 --> 01:19:55,387
As I was saying,
1350
01:19:55,491 --> 01:19:58,424
when my father gifted his empire
1351
01:19:58,528 --> 01:20:00,979
to my baby brother...
1352
01:20:08,020 --> 01:20:09,539
Who is that?
1353
01:20:18,272 --> 01:20:20,481
Is that a Ken doll on a moped?
1354
01:20:21,275 --> 01:20:22,794
I know him from somewhere.
1355
01:20:22,897 --> 01:20:24,554
Oh, I-I-I doubt that.
1356
01:20:24,658 --> 01:20:26,867
Because what you are looking at
1357
01:20:26,970 --> 01:20:29,870
is a highly trained
combat specialist,
1358
01:20:29,973 --> 01:20:33,563
forged in the furnaces
of Afghanistan, Iraq,
1359
01:20:33,667 --> 01:20:36,255
Kuwait, Sa... Sarasota...
1360
01:20:36,359 --> 01:20:38,430
Incredible skin.
No eczema problems.
1361
01:20:38,534 --> 01:20:42,227
And he will not stop
until I am safe!
1362
01:20:42,330 --> 01:20:44,540
So you pull
this space tank over,
1363
01:20:44,643 --> 01:20:47,784
unless you would like to perish
like his friends did.
1364
01:20:47,888 --> 01:20:51,305
And he is responsible
for their perishment.
1365
01:20:51,408 --> 01:20:54,101
He might not have meant to,
1366
01:20:54,204 --> 01:20:57,483
but they... perished, so...
1367
01:21:12,429 --> 01:21:13,672
Okay, who-who is this?
1368
01:21:13,776 --> 01:21:15,674
I have seen him
somewhere before.
1369
01:21:18,159 --> 01:21:19,402
No, no, no.
1370
01:21:19,505 --> 01:21:21,231
That's your cover model,
isn't it?
1371
01:21:21,335 --> 01:21:23,613
Yes. I knew
I knew him from somewhere.
1372
01:21:24,510 --> 01:21:25,581
Get up there.
1373
01:21:25,684 --> 01:21:27,065
And kill him creatively.
1374
01:21:27,168 --> 01:21:29,274
I love watching hunks fail.
1375
01:21:31,621 --> 01:21:33,865
I guess I-I will
have that drink.
1376
01:21:35,556 --> 01:21:36,833
Oh, shit.
1377
01:21:36,937 --> 01:21:39,491
Is it okay
if I just top 'er off?
1378
01:21:39,595 --> 01:21:40,768
Yeah, that's fine, but...
1379
01:21:40,872 --> 01:21:42,839
Oh, my God,
have you used a glass before?
1380
01:21:42,943 --> 01:21:44,289
Sorry.
1381
01:21:44,392 --> 01:21:45,877
What would Jack Trainer do?
1382
01:21:48,086 --> 01:21:49,156
It's hot in here.
1383
01:21:49,259 --> 01:21:52,262
Anyone else feeling
how hot it is?
1384
01:21:52,366 --> 01:21:53,436
Are you trying to be sexy?
1385
01:21:53,539 --> 01:21:55,334
This is very weird.
Please, stop.
1386
01:21:55,438 --> 01:21:57,336
I could set your world on fire.
1387
01:22:07,933 --> 01:22:10,246
Go to sleep! Go to sleep!
1388
01:22:10,349 --> 01:22:12,075
Go to sleep! Sleep!
1389
01:22:14,491 --> 01:22:16,321
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
1390
01:22:16,424 --> 01:22:17,702
Time-out.
1391
01:22:17,805 --> 01:22:18,737
Time-in!
1392
01:22:24,570 --> 01:22:27,401
No! Don't shoot her!
I need her!
1393
01:22:29,058 --> 01:22:30,922
Oh, Jesus!
1394
01:22:31,025 --> 01:22:32,440
Ow, ow, ow.
1395
01:22:36,375 --> 01:22:38,792
Move your foot! Move your foot!
1396
01:22:41,864 --> 01:22:44,073
Go to sleep, asshole.
1397
01:22:44,176 --> 01:22:45,833
Get out there! Look!
1398
01:22:50,424 --> 01:22:51,736
A bigger guy?
1399
01:22:51,839 --> 01:22:53,047
Oh, no.
1400
01:22:54,393 --> 01:22:55,636
What?
1401
01:22:58,121 --> 01:22:59,053
Move it!
1402
01:23:00,779 --> 01:23:03,092
No, no, no. No, no, no.
1403
01:23:03,989 --> 01:23:05,888
Hey! Get in.
1404
01:23:06,405 --> 01:23:07,510
Him or me?
1405
01:23:11,617 --> 01:23:16,415
This is not one of your cheap,
vapid lady-fantasy books, Loretta.
1406
01:23:16,519 --> 01:23:18,486
This is real life.
1407
01:23:19,418 --> 01:23:21,282
And we will kill him.
1408
01:23:21,386 --> 01:23:23,112
Tell us where the tomb is.
1409
01:23:37,782 --> 01:23:39,093
Hi.
So, whoever's in charge,
1410
01:23:39,197 --> 01:23:41,820
I need you to send
officials to go here.
1411
01:23:41,924 --> 01:23:43,028
Here.
1412
01:23:44,167 --> 01:23:45,997
We are closed.
1413
01:23:46,100 --> 01:23:47,446
You're closed?
1414
01:23:49,379 --> 01:23:52,486
You know I've been trying to
take a nap for a year and a half?
1415
01:23:52,589 --> 01:23:54,143
A year and a half.
1416
01:23:55,075 --> 01:23:58,181
I have been burning the candle
at both ends,
1417
01:23:58,285 --> 01:23:59,631
the midnight oil,
1418
01:23:59,735 --> 01:24:02,703
since way before
my friend got kidnapped.
1419
01:24:02,807 --> 01:24:04,670
And all I want to do
1420
01:24:05,223 --> 01:24:07,363
is kick my feet back
1421
01:24:07,466 --> 01:24:08,709
and drink some wine
1422
01:24:08,813 --> 01:24:11,194
that I'm probably
too tired to drink.
1423
01:24:11,298 --> 01:24:13,231
And I want a massage.
1424
01:24:13,334 --> 01:24:17,994
I want someone to massage
my shoulders and my feet,
1425
01:24:18,098 --> 01:24:20,134
and I want it at the same time.
1426
01:24:20,238 --> 01:24:23,931
And I don't care if logistically
that doesn't make sense.
1427
01:24:24,035 --> 01:24:26,692
Because I have worked hard.
1428
01:24:27,555 --> 01:24:30,006
The same way that
I know that you have.
1429
01:24:30,904 --> 01:24:33,113
So I hate to ask you
1430
01:24:33,216 --> 01:24:35,598
to leave this place open
a few more minutes,
1431
01:24:35,701 --> 01:24:37,634
because if we don't,
1432
01:24:37,738 --> 01:24:41,293
a very close friend of mine
and her cover model
1433
01:24:41,397 --> 01:24:43,157
are going to die.
1434
01:25:06,008 --> 01:25:07,561
No good way in, boss!
1435
01:25:07,664 --> 01:25:09,805
What about the caves?
1436
01:25:10,564 --> 01:25:11,910
That's too dangerous!
1437
01:25:12,014 --> 01:25:15,017
Well,
we'll be very careful then.
1438
01:25:28,582 --> 01:25:29,894
Well, come on!
1439
01:25:34,588 --> 01:25:36,417
- This way.
- I have a rule about
1440
01:25:36,521 --> 01:25:38,040
not going into
super creepy caves.
1441
01:25:49,396 --> 01:25:52,330
- Julian?
- His name is Julian?
1442
01:25:52,433 --> 01:25:55,298
He seems more like
a Buck or a Bruce.
1443
01:25:55,402 --> 01:25:56,886
Lead the way.
1444
01:26:00,579 --> 01:26:02,961
Go on. Don't be scared.
1445
01:26:32,715 --> 01:26:34,510
Watch your step there.
1446
01:26:34,613 --> 01:26:35,787
Bruce!
1447
01:26:35,891 --> 01:26:36,892
- Julian. Oh, no!
- Julian!
1448
01:26:36,995 --> 01:26:38,617
Whoa.
1449
01:26:38,721 --> 01:26:40,240
Whoa.
1450
01:26:40,896 --> 01:26:42,380
Well...
1451
01:26:43,208 --> 01:26:44,934
Let's not have
his death be in vain.
1452
01:26:45,038 --> 01:26:47,799
- Onward and upward.
- What do you mean onward?
1453
01:26:47,903 --> 01:26:50,353
We're not gonna go
and get him now, are we?
1454
01:26:50,457 --> 01:26:51,872
Oh, man.
1455
01:27:04,264 --> 01:27:05,921
- It's nothing.
- Okay.
1456
01:27:06,024 --> 01:27:08,716
Yeah. Look, let's just
go back to the boat.
1457
01:27:08,820 --> 01:27:10,684
This is over.
Nobody else has to die.
1458
01:27:10,787 --> 01:27:12,962
No, no, no. Ha-ha!
It's a breeze.
1459
01:27:13,066 --> 01:27:15,516
There's a tunnel.
This could lead to the tomb.
1460
01:27:15,620 --> 01:27:17,484
- That's not person-sized.
- Ah, speak for yourself.
1461
01:27:17,587 --> 01:27:19,865
Come on.
It's practically a kiddie slide.
1462
01:27:19,969 --> 01:27:22,282
- More like a rock sphincter.
- Or a troll anus.
1463
01:27:22,385 --> 01:27:24,767
All right, well, you are
going through the anus...
1464
01:27:24,870 --> 01:27:26,182
the hole... the tunnel!
1465
01:27:26,286 --> 01:27:28,288
- Why her?
- You are our canary in the coal mine.
1466
01:27:28,391 --> 01:27:29,806
No, that's impossible.
I can't.
1467
01:27:29,910 --> 01:27:31,360
Please let us know
if you get through.
1468
01:27:31,463 --> 01:27:33,776
If we don't hear from you,
Fabio's got to die.
1469
01:27:33,879 --> 01:27:36,054
Wait,
I'm the damsel in distress?
1470
01:27:36,744 --> 01:27:37,987
It's okay. I'm fine.
1471
01:28:14,023 --> 01:28:16,474
I can't.
I'm so sorry. I can't.
1472
01:28:16,577 --> 01:28:18,303
- Hey.
- What?
1473
01:28:19,028 --> 01:28:20,996
Hey, you smell that?
1474
01:28:21,099 --> 01:28:24,033
You mean centuries worth of bat feces?
Yes, I definitely smell that.
1475
01:28:24,137 --> 01:28:26,346
You gotta take
a big breath for me.
1476
01:28:31,454 --> 01:28:32,835
There you go.
1477
01:28:32,938 --> 01:28:34,802
You can do it, Loretta.
1478
01:28:47,746 --> 01:28:50,508
I think I see a way out.
1479
01:28:54,063 --> 01:28:56,272
Oh, cheese and rice!
1480
01:29:00,966 --> 01:29:02,313
I made it!
1481
01:29:02,416 --> 01:29:03,900
I made it!
1482
01:29:04,004 --> 01:29:06,489
See? Totally safe.
1483
01:29:07,490 --> 01:29:08,560
Go on. Your turn.
1484
01:29:10,252 --> 01:29:13,151
I'm coming through!
Be right there, okay?
1485
01:30:17,319 --> 01:30:19,459
Why would they build this here?
1486
01:30:20,563 --> 01:30:22,289
But how is anyone
supposed to worship
1487
01:30:22,393 --> 01:30:24,084
or remember you
if they can't even see it?
1488
01:30:24,188 --> 01:30:26,051
They aren't.
1489
01:30:26,155 --> 01:30:29,124
This isn't a monument
to Kalaman's power.
1490
01:30:30,228 --> 01:30:32,817
It's a hiding place
for a grieving woman.
1491
01:30:32,920 --> 01:30:36,372
Taha came here
to be with her fallen lover.
1492
01:30:38,029 --> 01:30:39,479
She just wanted to be alone.
1493
01:30:41,136 --> 01:30:42,654
Taha doesn't want us here.
1494
01:30:42,758 --> 01:30:44,104
God, shut up, Rafi.
1495
01:30:44,208 --> 01:30:46,071
It's just the volcano.
1496
01:30:47,728 --> 01:30:49,040
Come on.
1497
01:30:54,183 --> 01:30:55,840
We have to keep going.
1498
01:31:04,020 --> 01:31:05,677
All right.
Let's go, Muscles.
1499
01:31:06,471 --> 01:31:08,301
Open it up.
1500
01:31:08,404 --> 01:31:10,855
- Don't disturb them.
- She will be wearing the headdress.
1501
01:31:10,958 --> 01:31:13,547
Come on. We didn't come all this
way just to pay our respects.
1502
01:31:13,651 --> 01:31:15,308
I can't, um...
1503
01:31:18,069 --> 01:31:20,278
- Uh...
- I'm sorry, abuela.
1504
01:31:41,506 --> 01:31:42,818
What is that?
1505
01:31:44,958 --> 01:31:47,374
Are those... seashells?
1506
01:31:48,133 --> 01:31:50,998
The crown is made of seashells?
1507
01:31:51,102 --> 01:31:52,655
Where's the treasure?
1508
01:31:53,656 --> 01:31:55,106
She's holding him.
1509
01:31:57,902 --> 01:31:59,662
You mean the dead guy?
1510
01:32:06,186 --> 01:32:07,394
Look.
1511
01:32:09,396 --> 01:32:11,122
It's their courtship.
1512
01:32:11,226 --> 01:32:15,126
Kalaman is searching the island
for something.
1513
01:32:17,956 --> 01:32:19,544
Rare red seashells.
1514
01:32:19,648 --> 01:32:24,653
To prove his love,
he gave her one shell every day for a year
1515
01:32:24,756 --> 01:32:26,310
and made them into a crown,
1516
01:32:26,413 --> 01:32:29,209
bright red like
the flame of their love,
1517
01:32:29,313 --> 01:32:32,695
until the day came
where she accepted his proposal.
1518
01:32:32,799 --> 01:32:34,559
It was never about jewels.
1519
01:32:34,663 --> 01:32:38,391
Kalaman and Taha's riches
weren't material.
1520
01:32:40,324 --> 01:32:42,257
It was their love.
1521
01:32:42,360 --> 01:32:44,707
That's what it meant.
That was enough.
1522
01:32:44,811 --> 01:32:46,019
So that's it?
1523
01:32:46,916 --> 01:32:49,816
All of that time and money
1524
01:32:50,644 --> 01:32:54,234
spent on, what,
just a cheap metaphor?
1525
01:32:54,338 --> 01:32:57,133
- It's a pretty rich metaphor.
- Oh, shut up!
1526
01:32:57,237 --> 01:32:59,274
We got to go. We got to go now.
1527
01:32:59,377 --> 01:33:02,553
- Come on. Let's go.
- No, no, no. You are staying here.
1528
01:33:02,656 --> 01:33:04,727
You think it's all
so sweet and poetic.
1529
01:33:04,831 --> 01:33:07,316
Well, then you can stay here
and spend your last moments
1530
01:33:07,420 --> 01:33:10,354
pondering the richness
of that metaphor.
1531
01:33:11,044 --> 01:33:13,322
- Get in.
- What? Come on, man.
1532
01:33:13,426 --> 01:33:15,876
- Oh, God. Just get in. Get in the tomb.
- Okay, okay.
1533
01:33:15,980 --> 01:33:18,603
It's better to be buried
alive than buried dead, I guess.
1534
01:33:18,707 --> 01:33:21,986
- It's really not.
- You know, it is a shame, really.
1535
01:33:22,089 --> 01:33:23,608
This is a hell of a story.
1536
01:33:23,712 --> 01:33:26,404
Pity you won't be around
to tell it. Come on.
1537
01:33:26,508 --> 01:33:28,095
- But they'll die.
- So will you
1538
01:33:28,199 --> 01:33:30,788
if you don't stop being such a snowflake!
Get over here!
1539
01:33:40,384 --> 01:33:42,386
This is fine.
This is not an active nightmare
1540
01:33:42,489 --> 01:33:44,146
I've had since
I was 14 years old.
1541
01:33:45,906 --> 01:33:47,391
Ow!
1542
01:33:47,494 --> 01:33:51,222
Why are you going so fast?
It's not a race.
1543
01:33:56,227 --> 01:33:58,540
Wait, no! What are you doing?
Come back here!
1544
01:33:58,643 --> 01:34:03,338
You may have bought the island,
but now the island owns you!
1545
01:34:04,200 --> 01:34:05,685
You can't just leave me here!
1546
01:34:07,721 --> 01:34:10,103
Rafi! Come back!
1547
01:34:12,277 --> 01:34:13,693
I need a boat!
1548
01:34:23,116 --> 01:34:25,221
Hey, hey, stop! Stop!
1549
01:34:27,223 --> 01:34:29,087
Help! Help!
1550
01:34:29,191 --> 01:34:31,296
One of the locals
just stole my boat!
1551
01:34:31,400 --> 01:34:33,160
Have you seen a woman?
1552
01:34:33,264 --> 01:34:36,371
She's a brunette
in a sequined jumpsuit.
1553
01:34:36,474 --> 01:34:40,478
No. Is she in some sort
of trouble?
1554
01:34:52,145 --> 01:34:53,871
It's kind of funny.
1555
01:34:55,286 --> 01:34:57,081
I used to think this...
1556
01:34:57,184 --> 01:34:59,083
this sort of thing
was so romantic.
1557
01:34:59,186 --> 01:35:00,567
Yeah?
1558
01:35:00,671 --> 01:35:04,019
Being locked in a coffin
about to be buried by lava,
1559
01:35:04,122 --> 01:35:06,711
or... cuddling dead people?
1560
01:35:07,505 --> 01:35:10,577
Just laying down
with a lost love.
1561
01:35:10,681 --> 01:35:11,889
Like Taha did.
1562
01:35:14,443 --> 01:35:15,651
- God.
- Oh...
1563
01:35:16,238 --> 01:35:17,619
Oh, God.
1564
01:35:17,722 --> 01:35:19,931
I'm sorry.
1565
01:35:20,035 --> 01:35:22,486
I'm sorry that
I couldn't save you.
1566
01:35:22,589 --> 01:35:24,557
I'm sorry I couldn't be Dash.
1567
01:35:25,143 --> 01:35:26,421
You're right.
1568
01:35:27,456 --> 01:35:29,009
You're nothing like Dash.
1569
01:35:29,113 --> 01:35:32,150
You didn't ride in on a
white horse to save me.
1570
01:35:32,254 --> 01:35:37,639
You rode in on a...
borrowed scooter with a broken muffler.
1571
01:35:39,019 --> 01:35:40,435
Yeah.
1572
01:35:40,538 --> 01:35:43,438
I never could've written
a Dash like you.
1573
01:35:45,336 --> 01:35:47,269
'Cause I never knew
1574
01:35:47,959 --> 01:35:49,754
a Dash like Alan.
1575
01:35:49,858 --> 01:35:52,308
I was so afraid
of being hurt by life again
1576
01:35:52,412 --> 01:35:53,793
that I just stopped living.
1577
01:35:53,896 --> 01:35:55,898
Couldn't see the good things
in front of me.
1578
01:35:56,002 --> 01:35:59,488
I'm just so sorry
I didn't see you sooner.
1579
01:36:00,455 --> 01:36:02,180
I have a confession too.
1580
01:36:02,284 --> 01:36:06,184
See, I was really liking where
this new story of ours was headed.
1581
01:36:06,288 --> 01:36:09,498
I just wanted to see how
it was gonna turn out, I guess.
1582
01:36:10,810 --> 01:36:13,364
The Adventures
of Loretta and Alan.
1583
01:36:15,470 --> 01:36:17,402
No, it would need
a better title than that.
1584
01:36:17,506 --> 01:36:19,474
Yeah, definitely.
Definitely.
1585
01:36:20,613 --> 01:36:24,409
Sorry. Just...
Taha's femur is poking me.
1586
01:36:28,103 --> 01:36:29,863
Rafi must have left that.
1587
01:36:29,967 --> 01:36:32,487
How do you forget your crowbar?
It's gonna help us escape.
1588
01:36:32,590 --> 01:36:34,212
No, he left it on purpose.
1589
01:36:34,316 --> 01:36:36,007
Oh, cool. I always liked him.
1590
01:36:36,111 --> 01:36:37,526
- One...
- Okay.
1591
01:36:37,630 --> 01:36:39,459
- ...two, three!
- Okay.
1592
01:36:39,563 --> 01:36:43,498
I would've preferred him to not leave
us here in the first place, but...
1593
01:36:44,188 --> 01:36:45,016
Okay.
1594
01:37:06,072 --> 01:37:08,281
Dulcius ex asperis.
1595
01:37:12,630 --> 01:37:14,529
Sweeter after difficulty.
1596
01:37:21,156 --> 01:37:22,606
Go up!
Run for the trees!
1597
01:37:23,814 --> 01:37:26,713
Wait. Nope. Never mind.
Trees are on fire.
1598
01:37:27,162 --> 01:37:28,853
Okay.
1599
01:37:30,441 --> 01:37:32,305
We can go back
through the tunnel.
1600
01:37:33,271 --> 01:37:34,549
Nope. Tunnel's a no-go.
1601
01:37:39,657 --> 01:37:41,625
Um, okay.
I'm open to other ideas.
1602
01:37:41,728 --> 01:37:45,283
There's a current.
We can follow it into the ocean.
1603
01:37:45,387 --> 01:37:47,009
How do we know
what's on the other side?
1604
01:37:47,527 --> 01:37:48,597
We don't.
1605
01:37:50,426 --> 01:37:52,567
There's only one way
to find out.
1606
01:37:54,120 --> 01:37:55,777
- Worth the rash.
- Yeah?
1607
01:38:16,763 --> 01:38:17,764
Alan?
1608
01:38:26,221 --> 01:38:27,463
Alan!
1609
01:39:04,915 --> 01:39:05,916
Alan?
1610
01:39:06,019 --> 01:39:08,712
A... Alan?
1611
01:39:09,920 --> 01:39:10,921
Alan!
1612
01:39:14,200 --> 01:39:15,926
Oh, my God! You're alive!
1613
01:39:16,029 --> 01:39:18,273
- I'm alive.
- Oh, my God. I thought I killed you.
1614
01:39:21,241 --> 01:39:22,208
Is that Beth?
1615
01:39:22,311 --> 01:39:23,554
Loretta!
1616
01:39:24,175 --> 01:39:25,349
Beth!
1617
01:39:25,452 --> 01:39:27,109
- Beth!
- Beth!
1618
01:39:27,213 --> 01:39:28,455
Beth!
1619
01:39:34,116 --> 01:39:35,497
Beth, you're here!
1620
01:39:36,153 --> 01:39:37,361
Why are you here?
1621
01:39:37,464 --> 01:39:40,260
I told you I got your back,
girl!
1622
01:39:40,847 --> 01:39:42,642
I'm so sorry!
1623
01:39:42,746 --> 01:39:44,851
I destroyed the jumpsuit!
1624
01:39:45,300 --> 01:39:46,301
What?
1625
01:39:46,404 --> 01:39:48,924
Never mind! Later.
1626
01:39:49,028 --> 01:39:51,030
I found a British guy in a cave.
1627
01:39:51,133 --> 01:39:53,618
I thought he was a little boy,
but he has a full beard.
1628
01:39:53,722 --> 01:39:57,001
Beth, that's Fairfax!
He kidnapped us!
1629
01:39:57,105 --> 01:39:59,866
He's a bad guy, Beth!
He killed my trainer!
1630
01:39:59,970 --> 01:40:00,971
Get him!
1631
01:40:01,488 --> 01:40:02,662
Stop him!
1632
01:40:10,497 --> 01:40:12,707
I got your back, girl.
1633
01:40:14,847 --> 01:40:16,814
Where were you running?
It's a boat.
1634
01:40:16,918 --> 01:40:18,436
This guy's hilarious.
1635
01:40:18,540 --> 01:40:20,266
Got you.
1636
01:40:20,369 --> 01:40:21,646
Swim over to the rock!
1637
01:40:21,750 --> 01:40:23,821
- I don't got you. No, I got you.
- I got you.
1638
01:40:23,925 --> 01:40:25,823
We're gonna get you.
It's gonna be okay.
1639
01:40:25,927 --> 01:40:28,515
"Finding refuge
on a nearby rock,
1640
01:40:28,619 --> 01:40:30,725
he lifted her from the water,
1641
01:40:30,828 --> 01:40:34,004
his powerful arms
pulling her body close.
1642
01:40:34,107 --> 01:40:35,246
Alan whispered..."
1643
01:40:35,350 --> 01:40:37,904
Shh. You're safe now.
1644
01:40:40,320 --> 01:40:44,980
"In that moment, Loretta could
feel a new adventure was just beginning."
1645
01:40:46,257 --> 01:40:48,915
"The heart-pounding passion
of the narrow escape
1646
01:40:49,019 --> 01:40:51,953
only inflamed Loretta's
desire for him.
1647
01:40:52,056 --> 01:40:56,267
She was thirsty for the hot lava
soon to be pulsing from his..."
1648
01:40:56,371 --> 01:40:59,961
Don't you go stopping
right at the good part.
1649
01:41:01,307 --> 01:41:03,136
It's nothing she hasn't
read before.
1650
01:41:03,240 --> 01:41:04,620
Didn't I tell you?
1651
01:41:04,724 --> 01:41:07,727
The most beautiful beach
in the world.
1652
01:41:07,831 --> 01:41:11,144
Maybe later, I'll show you
the Cove of Enchantment?
1653
01:41:11,248 --> 01:41:12,836
No, you can take Randy.
1654
01:41:12,939 --> 01:41:16,598
Remember, you are
my platonic man friend.
1655
01:41:16,701 --> 01:41:19,739
Platonic?
I like the sound of that.
1656
01:41:19,843 --> 01:41:22,500
Not sure what it means,
but I like the sound of it.
1657
01:41:22,604 --> 01:41:24,813
Here you go, Randy.
1658
01:41:26,573 --> 01:41:28,886
- My dear.
- You are an angel. Thank you.
1659
01:41:29,542 --> 01:41:30,957
How did you know?
1660
01:41:42,866 --> 01:41:45,661
- Nice way to end a book tour, right?
- Mm-hmm.
1661
01:41:46,214 --> 01:41:48,043
Um...
1662
01:41:48,147 --> 01:41:52,392
You know, I have a phrase I like to
use in moments like these, actually.
1663
01:41:52,496 --> 01:41:53,738
Um...
1664
01:41:55,223 --> 01:41:56,638
Quid deinde?
1665
01:41:57,777 --> 01:42:00,953
It's Latin.
It means, uh, "What's next?"
1666
01:42:02,851 --> 01:42:04,370
Quid cogitas?
1667
01:42:04,473 --> 01:42:05,854
Mmm.
1668
01:42:06,579 --> 01:42:07,752
Buca di Beppo.
1669
01:42:11,170 --> 01:42:12,827
- Yeah. I know zero other Latin.
- No. Yes.
1670
01:42:12,930 --> 01:42:15,864
I looked it up
for this moment right now.
1671
01:42:16,692 --> 01:42:18,833
So, what does come next?
1672
01:42:18,936 --> 01:42:21,421
- How would you write this?
- I don't know.
1673
01:42:21,525 --> 01:42:24,079
- How would you write it?
- Do we really want me to write this?
1674
01:42:24,183 --> 01:42:26,530
- Just try. Take a stab at it.
- Okay. I'll write it.
1675
01:42:26,633 --> 01:42:27,980
Okay.
1676
01:42:28,083 --> 01:42:31,086
"We were... They were, uh...
standing on a beach."
1677
01:42:31,190 --> 01:42:33,123
Sets the stage for the audience.
They know where we are.
1678
01:42:33,226 --> 01:42:35,021
You're already laughing.
Why are you laughing at me?
1679
01:42:35,125 --> 01:42:36,920
- I'm not laughing. I'm smiling.
- You are.
1680
01:42:37,023 --> 01:42:41,027
"There are palm trees
above a brown
1681
01:42:41,890 --> 01:42:44,513
bark-like hair of the maiden.
1682
01:42:44,617 --> 01:42:46,481
There is a dead jellyfish..."
1683
01:42:46,584 --> 01:42:49,035
All you're doing is describing what
you're actually seeing right now.
1684
01:42:49,139 --> 01:42:51,969
"He's nervous
because he really likes her."
1685
01:42:52,832 --> 01:42:54,869
It's nice writing.
1686
01:42:54,972 --> 01:42:56,284
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
1687
01:42:56,387 --> 01:42:57,492
I'll keep going.
1688
01:42:57,595 --> 01:42:59,183
"He looked deep in her eyes.
1689
01:42:59,287 --> 01:43:02,738
The only thing that could compare
to the pulse of that ocean
1690
01:43:03,532 --> 01:43:04,602
was the throbbing in the..."
1691
01:43:04,706 --> 01:43:07,812
- Okay, no, you can't throb.
- Why not?
1692
01:43:07,916 --> 01:43:09,642
Can't come out of the
gate with a throb.
1693
01:43:09,745 --> 01:43:12,058
- You throb all the time.
- I don't come out of the gate with it.
1694
01:43:12,162 --> 01:43:14,060
- You have to earn the throb.
- Who made you the queen of throb?
1695
01:43:14,164 --> 01:43:17,857
It's usually a chapter four thing. You
want it brought up appropriately in four.
1696
01:43:17,961 --> 01:43:20,066
I think you throb in all the chapters.
"Pulsating."
1697
01:43:20,170 --> 01:43:22,103
It's a precursor to throb.
1698
01:43:22,206 --> 01:43:24,312
- "Undulating."
- You just jumped to five.
1699
01:43:24,415 --> 01:43:27,280
- How 'bout they just kiss? Why not?
- Just like a regular kiss?
1700
01:43:27,384 --> 01:43:29,248
Yeah. Like a
beginning-of-the-chapter kiss.
1701
01:43:29,351 --> 01:43:30,939
I'm good at starting...
1702
01:43:34,805 --> 01:43:36,289
How was that? Any notes?
1703
01:43:37,049 --> 01:43:40,431
Very good first chapter attempt.
1704
01:45:05,689 --> 01:45:07,173
Psst!
1705
01:45:07,829 --> 01:45:09,313
Psst.
1706
01:45:10,280 --> 01:45:11,281
Psst.
1707
01:45:13,352 --> 01:45:14,318
Mother...
1708
01:45:14,422 --> 01:45:16,148
You were dead.
1709
01:45:16,251 --> 01:45:19,116
Your brains came out of your face
and hit the back of my throat.
1710
01:45:19,220 --> 01:45:21,774
- He was in my mouth.
- Don't say he was in your mouth.
1711
01:45:21,877 --> 01:45:23,500
- I could taste you.
- Don't ever say that.
1712
01:45:23,603 --> 01:45:28,781
We only use 10% of our brain,
so I just switched to another 10%.
1713
01:45:28,884 --> 01:45:31,715
So, you're okay?
1714
01:45:31,818 --> 01:45:33,510
One hundred percent.
1715
01:45:33,613 --> 01:45:35,098
Meaning 10%.
1716
01:45:35,201 --> 01:45:36,961
We thought you were dead.
1717
01:45:37,065 --> 01:45:39,792
Naturally, I have some anger
issues I need to let go of.
1718
01:45:39,895 --> 01:45:42,243
- Of course.
- And resentment.
1719
01:45:44,141 --> 01:45:45,487
So good to see you, man.
1720
01:45:45,591 --> 01:45:47,662
Okay,
let's keep the chatter down.
1721
01:45:47,765 --> 01:45:52,149
We're closing our eyes
and reconnecting to our breath.
1722
01:45:53,219 --> 01:45:54,324
Great.
1723
01:45:55,152 --> 01:45:56,153
Great.
131612
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