All language subtitles for Everything.I.Know.About.Love.S01E01.1080p.iP.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-PlayWEB[eztv.re]

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:13,360 Destiny. 2 00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:17,960 The thing I believed predetermined all great love stories. 3 00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:20,840 The idea that the romantic events of our lives 4 00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:24,440 were scripted in stardust, long, long ago. 5 00:00:24,520 --> 00:00:27,880 I just had to follow the signs to find them. 6 00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:31,600 This particular tale of destiny begins on a train. 7 00:00:31,680 --> 00:00:34,000 The year is 2012. 8 00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:37,040 According to The Mayan Calendar, the world is about to end. 9 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:40,120 Which would have been a real bummer because I was 24, 10 00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:43,360 and my adult life had just finally begun. 11 00:00:49,480 --> 00:00:52,360 Please can I get a mini bottle of red wine, 12 00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:55,920 and a mini bottle of white wine and a mini bottle of Jamesons. 13 00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:05,040 Yeah, that card's been declined. 14 00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:07,520 -Definitely not. -Definitely has. 15 00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:10,600 I checked my account at the station, there was loads of money, 16 00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:12,960 and by loads I mean 32 pounds and 74 p. 17 00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:16,000 It's saying you have insufficient funds. 18 00:01:16,080 --> 00:01:19,480 -I'll get it. -No, no. Don't worry. 19 00:01:19,560 --> 00:01:22,320 So that same order for Shane MacGowan. 20 00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:25,080 And just a beer for me, please. 21 00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:37,000 I was doing market research, 22 00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:39,480 and you sit in a room with, like, 30 other people 23 00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:41,600 and you answer questions for the car company 24 00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:43,280 about whether you'd drive the car. 25 00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:45,480 -And where was today's? -Bristol. 26 00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:49,400 -And would you drive the car? -Dunno. Can't drive. 27 00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:55,080 This obviously isn't my long-term plan. I wanna write. 28 00:01:55,160 --> 00:01:58,720 -So what do you want to write? -Really, really good stories. 29 00:01:59,880 --> 00:02:02,160 -And comments. -Comments? 30 00:02:02,240 --> 00:02:06,080 Yeah, I want to be amazing at comments and... witticisms. 31 00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:09,160 I want my comments to be in a cheap book you get by the till. 32 00:02:10,040 --> 00:02:12,760 Until then I'll basically do anything other than murder 33 00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:15,200 for 40 quid, cash in hand. 34 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:17,320 Is that bad? 35 00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:19,360 -How old are you? -Twenty-four. 36 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:23,960 I'd say you've got two more years left of getting away with it. 37 00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:26,200 -How old are you? -Twenty-seven. 38 00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:28,560 -Just out of the middle. -How was it? 39 00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:31,840 Well, I think Larkin got it right. 40 00:02:31,920 --> 00:02:33,400 What did he say? 41 00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:36,000 I feared these present years. 42 00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:38,240 The middle twenties. 43 00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:41,640 When deftness disappears, and each event is freighted 44 00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:45,720 with a source-encrusting doubt and turned to drought. 45 00:02:47,640 --> 00:02:49,120 Fit. 46 00:02:53,320 --> 00:02:55,160 What's your favourite band? 47 00:02:55,720 --> 00:02:58,320 Come on. You're better than this. 48 00:02:58,400 --> 00:02:59,800 What? 49 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:03,560 Asking me what my favourite things are. 50 00:03:03,640 --> 00:03:06,920 Like you're a teenage girl filling out a MySpace profile. 51 00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:10,520 That is incredibly patronising. 52 00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:12,840 I think you like being patronised by men. 53 00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:15,440 Gives you something to push against. 54 00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:18,680 Like you're a shrew to be tamed or something. 55 00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:20,680 I don't wanna be tamed. 56 00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:22,160 You just want our attention. 57 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:30,080 Ladies and gentlemen, we'll shortly be arriving in London Paddington, 58 00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:31,920 that's our final stop. 59 00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:36,720 It was lovely to meet you... 60 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:40,680 -Street. -Street? 61 00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:43,120 I know. It's where I was conceived. 62 00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:45,840 -No way. -It's true. 63 00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:50,320 God. I'm just trying to think what my parents would have called me 64 00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:53,000 if I was named after where I was conceived. 65 00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:55,320 Pocket sprung mattress. 66 00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:58,880 I've always wondered with people who are named after places. 67 00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:01,400 Like, whether they ever actually live in the... 68 00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:13,160 I've been waiting to do that since Slough. 69 00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:19,440 "Pocket sprung mattress?" 70 00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:28,520 Are you getting the tube? 71 00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:30,880 Nah. I'll walk home. 72 00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:34,400 Really committed to this troubadour shit aren't you? 73 00:04:35,080 --> 00:04:36,640 Fucking works, though, doesn't it? 74 00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:45,560 -Let's not change numbers. -Why? 75 00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:49,040 Because I think if we're meant to meet again, we'll meet again. 76 00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:52,000 Leave it to kismet. Destiny. 77 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:55,600 You must be so, so bored. 78 00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:02,760 I'm Maggie. 79 00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:28,160 That boy, that kiss, that train journey, 80 00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:31,320 would begin a series of events that would change my life. 81 00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:34,600 I don't know what my 20s would've been like 82 00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:37,960 if I hadn't got on that exact train and sat in that exact carriage. 83 00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:41,840 I can only tell you everything that happened after I did. 84 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:45,480 This is a story of great love. 85 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,600 But it's not the one you think it is. 86 00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:16,080 -Mags? -Yeah? 87 00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:18,040 -You ready? -Yeah! 88 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:22,680 But first I need to ask you a really serious question. 89 00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:28,400 What is it? 90 00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:35,320 Is it hard, being the prettiest girl in the entire world? 91 00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:38,960 Seriously we're leaving in five minutes. 92 00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:41,440 That's exactly how long it takes me to get ready. 93 00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:43,840 Don't even try that, I've known you your whole life. 94 00:06:46,120 --> 00:06:48,160 Nell, Amara! Wine! 95 00:06:51,080 --> 00:06:53,240 Why is no one ready? 96 00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:55,520 Just sorted the Feng Shui in my room. 97 00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:56,920 -Had a nap. -Wrote my will. 98 00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:59,480 -Oh, what's it say? -Just "will" at the moment. 99 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:02,080 Okay, can we stop writing wills and having naps... 100 00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:04,720 -it's meant to be ladies' night! -I didn't agree to that? 101 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:07,600 -Yeah. It's ladies' night. -Yes, mate! 102 00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:09,400 I propose a toast. 103 00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:11,560 Can I have your fake Prada sunglasses? 104 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:16,480 Nell? To the first Friday night in our first London house. 105 00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:18,760 Yeah! 106 00:07:18,840 --> 00:07:21,040 And to many more Friday nights. 107 00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:24,840 Look at all those Friday nights piled up just for us. 108 00:07:24,920 --> 00:07:26,600 How are we gonna get through them all? 109 00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:28,880 Okay, I really do think we should leave by eight. 110 00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:30,400 Oh Birdy, you need to relax. 111 00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:35,400 You're just... You are so rushed off your feet... 112 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:39,200 I've told you before, I don't like it. 113 00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:40,960 I've told you I don't like it! 114 00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:44,360 I've told you a thousand times! I don't like it! 115 00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:48,520 Well, then stop being the littlest one then! 116 00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:51,200 Okay so I think if we start at the Choc Farm 117 00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:53,400 and make our way to the Moons and Crescent End. 118 00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:57,240 Let's not make a plan. The best nights happen following our noses. 119 00:07:57,320 --> 00:07:58,640 Agreed! 120 00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:03,760 Oh, have you heard from that guy on the train? 121 00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:05,920 No. But I didn't think I would. 122 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:08,680 We didn't exchange surnames or numbers. 123 00:08:08,760 --> 00:08:10,160 Thought it would be romantic. 124 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:12,360 Definitely your idea, not his. 125 00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:14,360 If I met a man I fancied who fancied me, 126 00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:17,280 I'd make him write his number on my face with permanent marker. 127 00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:20,320 Don't be so dramatic, Birdy. 128 00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:22,800 Anyway. There we are. Met the boy of my dreams, 129 00:08:22,880 --> 00:08:25,520 probably the only boy I could see myself ever truly loving, 130 00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:26,960 and now he's gone. 131 00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:31,240 Oh, come on, babe. This isn't like you. 132 00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:36,840 We've just arrived in London! City of possibilities! 133 00:08:36,920 --> 00:08:39,480 -There will be others. -Not like this one. 134 00:08:39,560 --> 00:08:41,840 I've put a winning lottery ticket in the wash. 135 00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:44,640 Well done for not being dramatic about it though. 136 00:08:44,720 --> 00:08:46,240 Thanks. 137 00:08:51,920 --> 00:08:54,840 -Thank you! -And cheers! 138 00:08:57,480 --> 00:09:00,560 -Let's play Never Have I Ever. -No! 139 00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:02,440 It's only enjoyable for half the group. 140 00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:04,520 Not the half who've had two sexual partners. 141 00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:07,880 Or never taken drugs. So whatever you want to say, just say it. 142 00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:12,000 Amara, you had a threesome in Malaga. 143 00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:16,840 Maggie, you wanked at the back of the coach 144 00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:19,680 on a school trip to Stonehenge. There, game done. 145 00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:37,360 -Do you think that's enough? -Yeah. 146 00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:39,760 -Oh God, the Feds! -Hide it in your pocket. 147 00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:41,880 -No! I'm a teacher! -Guys? 148 00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:43,920 Oh, for God's sake. 149 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,440 Birdie get in. 150 00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:48,760 -Okay. If I took it... -Yes! 151 00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:51,800 If I took it. Are you sure I won't die? 152 00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:54,720 You are so suburban Birdy, you're not gonna die. 153 00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:56,760 No one has ever died from taking cocaine. 154 00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:59,120 -Not true. -It is completely harmless. 155 00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:04,280 It's a very sort of 2.4 children, L-shaped sofa type of drug. 156 00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:07,360 You just dip in and out of it, like... 157 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:10,280 -Hummus? -Genius girl. Hummus. Exactly. 158 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:12,400 -I don't think I will. -Why? 159 00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:14,600 I don't want to get dizzy. 160 00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:17,960 Do you want to die with some stories or sleepwalk into your own grave? 161 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:31,840 Feel like I'm in Trainspotting! 162 00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:34,520 You're literally wearing a dress from Karen Millen. 163 00:10:42,360 --> 00:10:46,360 Bottle of your cheapest white, please. And four glasses. 164 00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:48,160 -Cheers mate. -Hey? 165 00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:51,640 -Hey. -Do you recognise me? 166 00:10:53,280 --> 00:10:56,320 Yeah! Were you on one of those early series of Big Brother? 167 00:10:57,400 --> 00:11:01,560 No. No. I'm Maggie? We met on a train? A couple of weeks ago? 168 00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:07,080 Oh yeah! Sorry. My brain's fried. How are you? 169 00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:08,480 I'm good! 170 00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:13,600 -Who're you here with? -My friends. 171 00:11:13,680 --> 00:11:16,600 My housemates! We've just moved in together down the road. 172 00:11:16,680 --> 00:11:18,120 -Interesting. -What? 173 00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:21,680 Moving to Camden in 2012. 174 00:11:21,760 --> 00:11:23,640 Whoever you're looking for's already left. 175 00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:25,920 -What are you doing here then? -Gig. 176 00:11:26,760 --> 00:11:29,520 -How'd it go? -Fine. 177 00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:31,600 I mean everyone talked through the whole set, 178 00:11:31,680 --> 00:11:33,520 the white people clapped on the on-beat. 179 00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:37,600 Just another Friday night in a completely forgettable band. 180 00:11:37,680 --> 00:11:39,400 We're actually heading off now. 181 00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:42,520 Okay. 182 00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:45,560 Really nice to see you again. 183 00:11:46,120 --> 00:11:48,840 Yeah, you too. 184 00:11:51,280 --> 00:11:52,920 I could give you my number this time? 185 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:54,440 Do I not have your number? 186 00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:56,000 No we decided... 187 00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:00,160 I don't think we exchanged numbers. 188 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:09,360 -What is this? -Oh yeah. I hate smart phones. 189 00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:13,360 I read recently our brains are actually changing shape 190 00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:15,160 from how much time we spend online. 191 00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:17,680 Yeah soon we won't be able to concentrate on anything. 192 00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:22,080 Reading a novel will be as niche an activity as, like, bell-ringing. 193 00:12:23,280 --> 00:12:24,680 Dark. 194 00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:37,960 You can't tell me how to live my life! 195 00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:41,880 -I can! -You can't! 196 00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:43,560 Who was that? 197 00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:47,520 I'm literally gonna shit myself. 198 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:50,640 I'm hoping this is another example of your misuse of "literally". 199 00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:53,760 That. Was the fucking. Train guy. 200 00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:55,160 -No! -Yes! 201 00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:57,200 See Nell! Destiny. 202 00:12:57,280 --> 00:13:00,200 Oh my God he's even more beautiful than I remembered. 203 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:01,680 -What's his name? -Street. 204 00:13:01,760 --> 00:13:03,640 He was named after where he was conceived. 205 00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:05,840 -Oh, have a day off. -Sorry, Nell. 206 00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:09,640 I'm here for it. I am backing our girl, this is fate. 207 00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:11,360 It is too weird not to be. 208 00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:14,160 And, and he uses an old Nokia 209 00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:17,640 because he believes smart phones are bad for our brains. 210 00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:19,680 It's like he's some kind of... 211 00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:22,080 -Cunt? -...philosopher? 212 00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:23,960 I can't believe I saw him! 213 00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:28,880 Can you believe it? I cannot believe it. Where's Birdy? 214 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:31,840 Oh God knows. I now get why she doesn't take drugs. 215 00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:34,080 It's been like watching Elmo get high. 216 00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:36,920 Mags, come here I want you to meet these guys. 217 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:43,360 This is my best friend Maggie, she's literally amazing, 218 00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:45,080 we've known each other since school. 219 00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:49,640 The other two are great but this girl is my childhood sweetheart. 220 00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:53,200 Do you ever have it where you want to invent a new version of marriage, 221 00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:55,560 just two people promise to love each other forever, 222 00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:58,080 they don't have sex, they just hang out loads. 223 00:13:58,160 --> 00:14:00,800 Yes! But there's still a formal commitment. 224 00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:04,040 I totally agree. Shouldn't there be a word for it? 225 00:14:04,120 --> 00:14:05,440 Erm... friendship? 226 00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:08,960 Yes! 227 00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:24,000 Four beers, please! 228 00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:29,880 Thank you, barman! 229 00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:09,000 -I wanna roll down the hill! -Yes! 230 00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:12,080 I'm gonna do it! 231 00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:22,240 No, I don't wanna get dizzy! 232 00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:26,480 Birdy, come on! 233 00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:18,960 Oh, shit. 234 00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:41,360 -Can I sit here? -Yeah. 235 00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:51,880 -I like your keyrings. -Thanks. 236 00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:56,320 -How many are on there? -Thirteen. 237 00:17:56,400 --> 00:17:57,720 I like your braces. 238 00:17:57,800 --> 00:17:59,640 -What colour are they? -Glitter magenta. 239 00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:04,160 -I'm Maggie. -I'm Birdy. 240 00:18:06,640 --> 00:18:08,920 You know, it shows how much I love you, 241 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,960 that I don't mind you doing this every morning. 242 00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:15,320 I barely like doing this with someone I'm sleeping with. 243 00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:16,800 I know. 244 00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:22,160 I spent all my money again last night, 245 00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:26,120 buying drinks for a load of people I'll never, ever see again. 246 00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:28,480 Why did you buy them drinks? 247 00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:31,080 To make them like me without having to talk. 248 00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:34,800 I'll lend you. 249 00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:37,760 You can't lend me any more money. 250 00:18:37,840 --> 00:18:42,560 I'll go back to the bank and see if they'll let me extend my overdraft. 251 00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:45,080 I thought you already went last week and they said no. 252 00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:47,320 I'll try again. 253 00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:49,880 I don't think it works like a tombola. 254 00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:53,480 I'm such an idiot. 255 00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:59,400 No you're not. You're so fun. 256 00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:03,080 I'm the tragic drunk who buys all the rounds. 257 00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:08,280 You think being fun is easy because it comes so naturally to you. 258 00:19:08,360 --> 00:19:11,320 But being fun is not easy. 259 00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:16,400 You're someone who actually likes skinny dipping and wearing bandannas 260 00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:22,400 and playing snooker at the pub and putting hot sauce on everything. 261 00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:24,400 That's special. 262 00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:29,040 Maybe the cost of being that special is always being overdrawn. 263 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:35,680 I just don't think that's right at all. 264 00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:40,440 It is. I've spent years trying to learn how to be fun from you. 265 00:19:40,520 --> 00:19:42,000 You are fun! 266 00:19:43,120 --> 00:19:44,520 Like when? 267 00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:49,720 Like... when you bought those 268 00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:55,040 pink neon flared combat trousers 269 00:19:55,120 --> 00:19:57,560 with the strings hanging off? 270 00:19:57,640 --> 00:20:02,160 Or... when you went on that Thorpe Park roller-coaster four times! 271 00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:05,320 You'd come off, sip of water, straight back in the queue. 272 00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:06,920 That's incredible. 273 00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:14,000 Okay, fine. I've been fun like, twice in my life. 274 00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:17,640 But that's okay. I'm much better at things like 275 00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:20,080 judging how long a car journey is gonna take. 276 00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:22,800 You are really good at that. 277 00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:27,240 -I love you. -Oh, I love you. 278 00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:30,680 Oh, I wish you'd wear pants. 279 00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:38,000 -How you feeling? -Bad. 280 00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:41,080 I cannot believe you guys did poppers last night. 281 00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:42,720 We live in Camden now. 282 00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:45,280 Poppers in Camden is like eating a croissant in Paris. 283 00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:50,440 -I'll get it. -That'll be your boyfriend, Nell. 284 00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:55,440 -Hi Neil. -Don't eat that from the jar! 285 00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:57,680 -Hi guys. -Oh my gosh! 286 00:20:57,760 --> 00:20:59,760 -Yes! We've got a telly! -Yes! 287 00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:03,080 My sister had a spare one in her attic. 288 00:21:04,360 --> 00:21:05,680 Thanks, babe. 289 00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:07,920 There's gonna be zero tolerance policy 290 00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:11,600 for taking those batteries out of the remote for personal devices. 291 00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:13,560 Unless it's an emergency. 292 00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:15,680 -Personal devices? -Vibrators and dillies. 293 00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:19,400 Anyway, thanks man. 294 00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:21,560 Yeah. No worries. 295 00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:28,440 -How's finance going? -Law. 296 00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:30,720 -And Man U? -Arsenal. 297 00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:34,080 -We've got to go to work. -See you tonight. 298 00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:35,960 -Bye! -Bye! 299 00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:39,560 Thanks again for telly, Neil. 300 00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:43,160 -Hello. -Hi. 301 00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:56,400 I wonder if our degrees are ever gonna come good. 302 00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:59,440 I don't think a 2-1 in English and Drama 303 00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:01,800 says anything to an employer other than, 304 00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:04,920 "I'm completely average. I've got a Breakfast At Tiffany's poster 305 00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:06,440 and I can't think for myself." 306 00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:08,880 I found my degree certificate when I was unpacking. 307 00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:10,840 Used it as a coaster. 308 00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:17,800 -Oh my God, it's Street. -What did he say? 309 00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:21,800 "Hey sugar, come round mine tonight to listen to some albums." 310 00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:26,640 Hmm. I wonder how many "albums" you're going to "listen to". 311 00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:28,760 I shouldn't have sex with him, do you think? 312 00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:31,600 I've never even had a boyfriend, don't look at me for advice. 313 00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:35,240 That'll do pig, that'll do. 314 00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:37,840 Kids eat for half-price today. 315 00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:41,440 Look you have to get over this never having a boyfriend stuff. 316 00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:44,840 You have to admit it's weird. I'm a quarter of a century old. 317 00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:49,160 We're in this grubby, golden phase of life that is so short-lived. 318 00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:53,120 We should just enjoy it for what it is. We need experiences. 319 00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:56,320 Having a relationship is an experience. Isn't it? 320 00:22:57,480 --> 00:22:59,360 What are you gonna wear? 321 00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:03,240 I don't know, something quite understated I think. 322 00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:05,120 He's so cool and I'm so not 323 00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:07,800 and he needs to not know what a try-hard I am. 324 00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:41,160 -That is a good Nico impression. -I told you. 325 00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:55,640 You were really lame at school, weren't you? 326 00:23:57,080 --> 00:23:59,400 You were, weren't you? 327 00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:03,200 You were a loser who wore rockabilly dresses 328 00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:06,000 and ate Toffee Crisps in the school toilets. 329 00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:08,600 How insightful. 330 00:24:09,800 --> 00:24:12,000 -Do the Nico voice again. -No. 331 00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:15,080 Do it, Big Bird. 332 00:24:20,360 --> 00:24:22,760 -Hello? -Oh, God. 333 00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:25,440 That's my flatmate Nathan. He's not actually my mate. 334 00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:27,960 He works in insurance. I found him on Gumtree. 335 00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:33,800 -Alright? -Alright? 336 00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:37,200 -Nathan this is Maggie. -Hi. 337 00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:38,600 Hi. 338 00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:45,000 I'll be out of your way soon, I'm just getting changed, 339 00:24:45,080 --> 00:24:48,480 -and going to the gym. -Nathan's marathon training. 340 00:24:48,560 --> 00:24:50,640 Wow, amazing. How's it going? 341 00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:54,960 Er, pretty bad to be honest. Yeah painful and boring. 342 00:24:55,040 --> 00:24:58,480 -Why are you doing it? -I don't know. Something to do. 343 00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:01,040 Nathan needs to have sex. 344 00:25:01,120 --> 00:25:02,440 And then he'll stop... 345 00:25:02,520 --> 00:25:05,200 what's that word you and your mates use at the gym? 346 00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:07,800 -Grating. -Shredding. 347 00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:11,000 -Have you got any single friends? -That isn't necessary. 348 00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:15,080 Yeah, loads. Maybe I'll give you Birdy's number. 349 00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:18,240 -Was she there the other night? -Yeah, little with dark hair. 350 00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:19,920 She's the best person in the world. 351 00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:22,560 -Who were those other two? -Nell and Amara. 352 00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:23,960 We met them at uni. 353 00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:27,360 Nell's got a boyfriend though, and Amara only ever seems to date 354 00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:30,880 spoken word performers or Southern Europeans, 355 00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:35,120 that doesn't seem to be your immediate vibe, 356 00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:36,960 if you don't mind me saying. 357 00:25:37,040 --> 00:25:38,360 Birdy it is! 358 00:25:38,440 --> 00:25:40,280 -Thanks mate. -I'll give you her number. 359 00:25:50,680 --> 00:25:54,120 Cheers. Well, you guys have a good evening. 360 00:25:58,920 --> 00:26:01,000 -Yo, Tank... -Tank? 361 00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:03,120 Yeah, I know mate, I'll be there shortly... 362 00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:09,560 Well, just try to grab the dumbbells before anyone else does... 363 00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:12,120 -Do you see what I mean? -Yeah. But he's nice though. 364 00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:16,040 Yeah but just, the kind of guy who's too into barbecued food, you know? 365 00:26:16,120 --> 00:26:22,040 Or who says, "Brazilian women are the sexiest women on earth". 366 00:26:22,120 --> 00:26:23,640 Exactly. 367 00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:33,560 I'm having people over on Friday night. 368 00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:36,360 You know, play some music. Get fucked up. 369 00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:39,640 Do you want to come? You can do your Nico. 370 00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:41,040 Maybe. 371 00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:46,520 We're out of wine. Whisky? 372 00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:51,320 I think I'm actually gonna head off. 373 00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:56,960 Yeah, just work and stuff tomorrow. 374 00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:02,320 Bye, Street. 375 00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:09,560 -One more time! -No! I can't rap. 376 00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:12,640 -Stop calling it a "rap". -You're really good. Come on. 377 00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:52,040 -Hi! -Thank God! 378 00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:55,160 -Shoes off! -How'd it go? 379 00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:59,200 Yeah. Good, I think? Playing the long game. 380 00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:00,720 -Kiss? -Yeah. 381 00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:05,280 Nothing else, though. I'm eking it out. 382 00:28:05,360 --> 00:28:07,920 Don't wanna use up all his attention too quick, you know? 383 00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:09,920 -When's his birthday? -Dunno. 384 00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:14,400 -I can find out. What's his name? -Baxter. Street Baxter. 385 00:28:14,480 --> 00:28:16,720 Wait what do you mean, "use up his attention"? 386 00:28:16,800 --> 00:28:18,600 He's either into you or he isn't. 387 00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:20,760 He probably has loads of girls on the go. 388 00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:23,720 So there's an allotted amount of attention for each of us. 389 00:28:23,800 --> 00:28:26,760 -That is so rank. -Gemini. I knew it. 390 00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:28,600 I'm the one in control though. I left. 391 00:28:28,680 --> 00:28:31,600 So I'm gonna go upstairs, watch videos of his band on YouTube, 392 00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:34,680 and wank furiously. It's all very feministy, don't worry. 393 00:28:34,760 --> 00:28:37,200 Okay we need to talk about that word again. 394 00:28:37,280 --> 00:28:39,680 I've got your star sign compatibility trial here. 395 00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:41,960 -Want me to email it to you? -Yeah, obviously. 396 00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:44,920 -Done. -What if he thinks I'm frigid. 397 00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:46,760 I wish someone thought I was frigid. 398 00:28:58,120 --> 00:29:01,200 Things can only get batter at Amy Lou's Pancake House. 399 00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:08,280 Oh, unknown number. 400 00:29:08,360 --> 00:29:11,920 Oh, I got that one. Chicken dippers free with every large pizza. 401 00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:14,240 Weird, it's from some guy called Nathan. 402 00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:16,640 -No way! -What? 403 00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:18,280 That's Street's flatmate. 404 00:29:18,360 --> 00:29:21,440 He asked me if I had any single friends so I gave him your number. 405 00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:24,000 That is so random he text you. 406 00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:26,880 -Such a 30-year-old thing to do. -Well it's not random at all 407 00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:29,480 if you gave him my number. What's he like? 408 00:29:30,600 --> 00:29:32,800 Fine. I only chatted to him briefly, 409 00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:35,160 but he seems completely average and normal. 410 00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:37,800 -Surely that's good? -Not really. 411 00:29:37,880 --> 00:29:39,800 You know when you need something practical 412 00:29:39,880 --> 00:29:41,280 but not spend too much? 413 00:29:41,360 --> 00:29:43,640 He's like that. Like a light bulb or plug adaptor. 414 00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:47,960 So is he tall? Is he short? What does he do? 415 00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:54,800 He is tall. Plain of face, sort of a potato smiley shaped face. 416 00:29:56,480 --> 00:29:59,520 I think Street said he worked in recruitment. 417 00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:02,000 Or energy. Some sort of boring abstract noun. 418 00:30:02,080 --> 00:30:03,400 He sounds nice! 419 00:30:03,480 --> 00:30:05,200 Yeah, but you could do loads better. 420 00:30:05,280 --> 00:30:08,080 -I don't think I'm as fussy as you. -I'm not fussy. 421 00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:11,320 -I might end up with a plug adaptor. -I hate when you say that stuff. 422 00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:14,520 You won't, you'll end up with someone dazzling. 423 00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:18,280 I don't want someone "dazzling", I feel tired even saying that word. 424 00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:20,640 You make it sound like we all need Elton John. 425 00:30:20,720 --> 00:30:24,840 Fine, go for it! Seems like a really unstressful shag. 426 00:30:24,920 --> 00:30:27,760 Should I reply now? Or is that too soon? 427 00:30:27,840 --> 00:30:29,240 I'm sweating. 428 00:30:30,240 --> 00:30:36,320 -What will you say? -Erm, "Dinner sounds lovely". 429 00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:39,680 He asked you for dinner? That's mental. 430 00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:45,160 You're not going to agree to that, are you? What you saying! 431 00:30:45,240 --> 00:30:47,960 -Stop being so nosy. -Let me see what you're gonna say! 432 00:30:49,440 --> 00:30:52,280 Give it back. Give it back, Mags... 433 00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:54,960 -No! -Give it back! 434 00:30:56,400 --> 00:30:57,800 Oh, Birdy... 435 00:30:57,880 --> 00:31:00,640 Can you help? Quickly. Grab both my arms! Please. 436 00:31:00,720 --> 00:31:02,040 Can you grab both my arms? 437 00:31:05,480 --> 00:31:08,600 -How long's she been getting ready? -Three and a half hours. 438 00:31:14,880 --> 00:31:18,120 -Birdy? -I'm fine! 439 00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:19,880 I'm coming in. 440 00:31:22,360 --> 00:31:26,080 -I'm not fine, I'm freaking out. -Okay. Talk to me. 441 00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:28,320 I'm nervous about what we're going to talk about 442 00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:31,160 and whether I hug him hello and what do I wear? 443 00:31:31,240 --> 00:31:34,080 -Okay, you need to chill out. -I know. 444 00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:36,680 First thing's first. I know you're stressed. 445 00:31:36,760 --> 00:31:41,080 But what is the one thing you and I have always sworn to each other? 446 00:31:41,160 --> 00:31:43,120 Always. No matter what? 447 00:31:44,680 --> 00:31:47,240 That we would never wear a waist belt with a dress. 448 00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:49,440 -Why? -It doesn't nip in your waist, 449 00:31:49,520 --> 00:31:50,920 that's a lie. 450 00:31:53,200 --> 00:31:56,360 Okay. Already much better. 451 00:32:00,560 --> 00:32:01,960 What's this? 452 00:32:02,040 --> 00:32:05,080 A list of things to talk about in case there are awkward silences. 453 00:32:05,160 --> 00:32:06,880 -"Council tax?" -Yeah. 454 00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:08,800 -"Russell Brand?" -Maggie! 455 00:32:08,880 --> 00:32:12,520 Okay. Listen to me. 456 00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:17,360 You don't know this, and perhaps you'll never know, 457 00:32:17,440 --> 00:32:19,720 and that is why you're so adorable. 458 00:32:19,800 --> 00:32:24,680 You are the sweetest, funniest person in any room. 459 00:32:25,760 --> 00:32:29,400 You on bad form is a level of charm most people don't ever get to. 460 00:32:31,040 --> 00:32:33,760 Okay. Thanks. 461 00:32:35,040 --> 00:32:36,440 Fine. 462 00:32:37,680 --> 00:32:40,200 You look lush. Where's he taking you? 463 00:32:40,280 --> 00:32:44,560 Italian restaurant. Can you believe this is the first date I've been on? 464 00:32:44,640 --> 00:32:47,680 -Happy date-mitzvah! -Oh thanks, Nell. 465 00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:50,880 I've got a belt that'd look great with that dress, want to borrow it? 466 00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:53,680 I'm just going to go. 467 00:32:54,760 --> 00:32:57,080 Don't overthink it. Have fun. 468 00:33:00,320 --> 00:33:03,360 I've washed your whites, they're hanging on the rack with mine. 469 00:33:03,440 --> 00:33:05,320 You still not know how to do your laundry? 470 00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:07,840 Leave her. She does a loads for me. I like doing it. 471 00:33:07,920 --> 00:33:10,920 -She likes doing it. -You two are so co-dependent. 472 00:33:12,440 --> 00:33:14,040 Bye. 473 00:33:18,920 --> 00:33:20,880 I'm sorry but I think it's creepy for him 474 00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:23,120 to take her to a restaurant on their first date. 475 00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:25,200 I don't think we should be having first dates 476 00:33:25,280 --> 00:33:27,160 in the first month we move in together. 477 00:33:27,240 --> 00:33:30,880 It's meant to be cordoned off as sacred housemate bonding time. 478 00:33:30,960 --> 00:33:34,400 Erm, you went on a first date last week. 479 00:33:34,480 --> 00:33:37,080 Oh, Nell's in one of her rational Scottish moods. 480 00:33:37,160 --> 00:33:40,000 -What're your plans tonight? -Erm, don't know. 481 00:33:40,080 --> 00:33:41,680 What are you doing, date night? 482 00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:43,080 -Yeah. -Looking forward to it? 483 00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:46,040 Looking forward to tomorrow morning when it's done. 484 00:33:46,120 --> 00:33:48,720 When you don't have to think about it for a while. 485 00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:52,320 -Where's Amara? -Out with some of her work lot. 486 00:33:52,400 --> 00:33:54,400 -See you in the morning. -Have fun. 487 00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:43,360 Nathan? 488 00:34:44,760 --> 00:34:46,160 Birdy. 489 00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:48,080 -Hello. -Hey. 490 00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:51,960 Sorry I never know whether to do one or two. 491 00:34:52,040 --> 00:34:56,360 No, neither do I. I think I messed that up so, anyway sit down. 492 00:34:57,680 --> 00:34:59,440 -I'll get that for you. -Thank you. 493 00:35:00,560 --> 00:35:02,200 Thank you! 494 00:35:29,520 --> 00:35:32,240 Hi, it's Street, I'm not here. Leave a message. 495 00:35:50,560 --> 00:35:51,880 Fuck it. 496 00:36:45,240 --> 00:36:47,560 -Hey. -Hey. How are you? 497 00:36:47,640 --> 00:36:51,040 -I'm good. What's up? -I just thought I'd drop in. 498 00:36:51,120 --> 00:36:52,840 I'm on a night out in East London. 499 00:36:52,920 --> 00:36:56,080 Oh yeah, don't worry about that. 500 00:36:56,760 --> 00:36:59,160 -What do you mean? -I'm just kinda tied up. 501 00:36:59,240 --> 00:37:01,920 So, don't worry about coming. 502 00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:05,880 You could come when everyone's gone. I don't know when they'll be gone. 503 00:37:05,960 --> 00:37:07,600 Like sometime after midnight maybe? 504 00:37:07,680 --> 00:37:10,320 So I'm your dial-a-pussy, now. 505 00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:13,160 Maggie, you called me. 506 00:37:13,240 --> 00:37:16,960 I don't know what kind of girl you think I am, Street. 507 00:37:17,040 --> 00:37:19,320 But I'm not going to feel grateful 508 00:37:19,400 --> 00:37:21,400 that some musician wants to booty call me 509 00:37:21,480 --> 00:37:23,680 once his cool friends have left. 510 00:37:23,760 --> 00:37:27,120 Who, I can already tell, have some very dumb ideas about Neil Young. 511 00:37:27,200 --> 00:37:30,040 -Who sings like an old feeble nan. -Maggie... 512 00:37:30,120 --> 00:37:33,080 I'm not that kind of girl! So goodbye and fuck you. 513 00:37:33,160 --> 00:37:34,800 'Kay, baby. 514 00:37:54,560 --> 00:37:57,120 Oh, it's... 515 00:37:57,200 --> 00:37:59,280 Oh no. Please, I'd love to. If you don't mind. 516 00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:04,960 No, I don't mind. That's really nice of you, thank you. 517 00:38:05,040 --> 00:38:08,000 You are welcome. It's my pleasure. Thank you. 518 00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:12,960 We could go to a bar if you fancy it, 519 00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:15,440 or we could go back to mine for a drink. 520 00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:20,160 -If that's not too forward. -I've got leg day at 6AM tomorrow... 521 00:38:21,240 --> 00:38:23,680 Yeah, but um... 522 00:38:23,760 --> 00:38:27,280 -Fuck it! -Yeah! Fuck it! Who needs legs? 523 00:38:27,360 --> 00:38:30,240 Yeah let's get legless! 524 00:38:33,560 --> 00:38:35,600 Don't worry about that. 525 00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:38,760 Leave me a message and I'll get back to you. Bye! 526 00:38:38,840 --> 00:38:41,080 Hey, Bird. Terrible evening. 527 00:38:41,160 --> 00:38:44,520 I got to that point where I'm telling a man what "kind of girl" 528 00:38:44,600 --> 00:38:48,720 I may or may not be, which as we know, is a bad sign. 529 00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:51,800 If on the off-chance your date isn't going well, 530 00:38:51,880 --> 00:38:53,800 please come drink with me when you're done. 531 00:38:53,880 --> 00:38:56,440 Don't care how late it is. Love you. 532 00:39:02,560 --> 00:39:05,200 Hi, you're through to Birdy's phone... 533 00:39:46,280 --> 00:39:49,360 Oh, fuck's sake! 534 00:41:07,160 --> 00:41:10,240 -Birdy? Oh fuck. -Jesus Christ! 535 00:41:11,080 --> 00:41:12,600 -Hi! -What are you doing?! 536 00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:15,920 I came into say... came in to... Why do you have so many tiny towels? 537 00:41:16,000 --> 00:41:18,080 They're not tiny towels, they're face cloths! 538 00:41:21,400 --> 00:41:25,920 -I'm so sorry, I didn't realise. -It's okay. 539 00:41:26,920 --> 00:41:29,400 -Date went well? -Yeah! 540 00:41:29,480 --> 00:41:30,960 Sex? 541 00:41:31,040 --> 00:41:33,720 -Finger bang? Blowie? -I'll tell you tomorrow. 542 00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:35,120 Breakfast? 543 00:41:35,200 --> 00:41:37,760 We're going for brunch tomorrow, I think. 544 00:41:37,840 --> 00:41:39,520 Okay, wow. 545 00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:43,800 Yeah. Yeah this place by the canal he wants to take me to. 546 00:41:43,880 --> 00:41:46,080 Apparently they do a really good Bloody Mary... 547 00:41:46,640 --> 00:41:49,560 No worries. Movie night tomorrow night? 548 00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:54,200 Yeah. Sure. Are you okay? 549 00:41:54,280 --> 00:41:55,720 Do you guys want a drink? 550 00:41:57,840 --> 00:41:59,720 I think I should probably... 551 00:41:59,800 --> 00:42:02,560 Of course. 552 00:42:02,640 --> 00:42:04,120 -Night. -Night. 553 00:43:15,440 --> 00:43:17,120 Yeah, I'm coming! 554 00:43:29,320 --> 00:43:31,280 Subtitles: Lily Ray plint.com 43417

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