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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,033 Edited at https://subtitletools.com 2 00:00:17,682 --> 00:00:20,446 [Telephone Rings] 3 00:00:22,687 --> 00:00:25,451 [Ring] 4 00:00:25,523 --> 00:00:27,457 Uh, hello. 5 00:00:27,525 --> 00:00:30,289 This is Cheer/1. I’m not here fight now. 6 00:00:30,362 --> 00:00:33,126 Well, I’m here, but I’m not here. 7 00:00:33,198 --> 00:00:35,962 See, I’m an my Way to Amsterdam, man. 8 00:00:36,034 --> 00:00:37,467 We got in v/z‘ed 9 00:00:37,535 --> 00:00:40,971 to a Burt Reynolds and Dolly Parton film fest/val, 10 00:00:41,039 --> 00:00:43,974 so, like, if you need me or anything, 11 00:00:44,042 --> 00:00:45,976 When you hear the beep, 12 00:00:46,044 --> 00:00:48,808 you know, just, like, leave a message 0K .7 13 00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:51,246 0h, RS. -- ffth/s /'s Donna... 14 00:00:51,316 --> 00:00:52,647 [Kiss] 15 00:00:52,717 --> 00:00:55,481 Ahh! Put that Wherever you need it, baby. 16 00:00:55,553 --> 00:00:57,748 Check you /ater.. and //'/(e that. 17 00:00:57,822 --> 00:00:58,982 [ Beep ] 18 00:00:59,057 --> 00:01:01,924 [Chong] Where are you? I’m at the airport. 19 00:01:01,993 --> 00:01:04,928 The planes getting ready to leave without us! 20 00:01:04,996 --> 00:01:06,429 Come on! 21 00:01:06,498 --> 00:01:07,931 [Dial Tone] 22 00:01:32,090 --> 00:01:34,058 Man, this is the first airport 23 00:01:34,125 --> 00:01:36,059 I haven’t been searched in. 24 00:01:36,127 --> 00:01:39,062 We got to smuggle something into Amsterdam, man. 25 00:01:39,130 --> 00:01:40,563 [Woman] Hello. 26 00:01:40,632 --> 00:01:42,566 Hello. Oh, hi! Thankyou very... 27 00:01:42,634 --> 00:01:44,158 Oh! Thankyou. 28 00:01:44,235 --> 00:01:46,066 [Crowd Cheering] 29 00:01:49,708 --> 00:01:52,006 Hello, Mr. Burt Reynolds. 30 00:01:52,077 --> 00:01:54,068 On behalf of the Amsterdam 31 00:01:54,145 --> 00:01:55,578 International Film Festival, 32 00:01:55,647 --> 00:01:58,081 welcome to Amsterdam, Mr. Burt Reynolds. 33 00:01:58,149 --> 00:02:00,515 Have a very happy, lucky time. 34 00:02:00,585 --> 00:02:04,544 Do you know if Miss Dolly Parton was on the plane? 35 00:02:04,622 --> 00:02:06,021 What? 36 00:02:06,091 --> 00:02:07,524 Dolly Parton. 37 00:02:07,592 --> 00:02:10,186 No, I didn’t see Dolly Parton. 38 00:02:10,261 --> 00:02:12,195 Was she on the plane? 39 00:02:12,263 --> 00:02:15,027 In the movies, you are much taller. 40 00:02:15,100 --> 00:02:16,533 May I say... 41 00:02:16,601 --> 00:02:19,434 may I say Burt to you, Mr. Reynolds? 42 00:02:19,504 --> 00:02:20,971 What? 43 00:02:21,039 --> 00:02:23,530 May——Maybe I say Mr. Burt 44 00:02:23,608 --> 00:02:25,405 or Mr. Reynolds. 45 00:02:25,477 --> 00:02:28,913 May I say Burt to you, Mr. Reynolds? 46 00:02:28,980 --> 00:02:31,915 Hey, man, I’m not Burt Reynolds, man. 47 00:02:31,983 --> 00:02:34,417 You are not Burt Reynolds? 48 00:02:34,486 --> 00:02:37,216 No. I’m Cheech, man. We’re Cheech & Chong. 49 00:02:37,288 --> 00:02:38,846 Hey, turn around. 50 00:02:38,923 --> 00:02:42,689 See, right there, man. We came for the movie festival. 51 00:02:42,761 --> 00:02:44,592 You are... 52 00:02:46,464 --> 00:02:48,898 you are here. Chong & Cheech. 53 00:02:48,967 --> 00:02:50,559 Mr. Cheech & Chong. 54 00:02:50,635 --> 00:02:52,762 Listen, man, where’s the car? 55 00:02:52,837 --> 00:02:55,067 There is a car waiting outside 56 00:02:55,140 --> 00:02:57,938 for Mrs. Dolly Parton and Mr. Burt Reynolds, 57 00:02:58,009 --> 00:03:00,500 but you can have the van. 58 00:03:00,578 --> 00:03:03,513 [Cheech ] O.K. Great. Thanks a lot, man. bye. 59 00:03:03,581 --> 00:03:05,515 [ Cheering] 60 00:03:08,319 --> 00:03:11,254 Oh, please, no more autographs. No more pictures. 61 00:03:11,322 --> 00:03:14,257 Thank you! It’s lovely to be here. 62 00:03:14,325 --> 00:03:17,260 Take me to a dike. Thank you. 63 00:03:17,328 --> 00:03:19,262 There you go. 64 00:03:19,330 --> 00:03:21,764 I got a writer’s cramp, man. 65 00:03:21,833 --> 00:03:23,232 Thanks anyway. 66 00:03:23,301 --> 00:03:26,031 I’m going to have to finally do it. 67 00:03:26,104 --> 00:03:27,537 Do what, man? 68 00:03:27,605 --> 00:03:30,039 Put scars all over my face. 69 00:03:30,108 --> 00:03:31,541 I’m getting too handsome. 70 00:03:31,609 --> 00:03:33,873 This guy thinks I’m Burt Reynolds. 71 00:03:33,945 --> 00:03:37,039 I got to give the other actors a chance. 72 00:03:37,115 --> 00:03:40,050 I don’t think you have to go 73 00:03:40,118 --> 00:03:42,052 to all that trouble, man. 74 00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:44,054 All you have to do 75 00:03:44,122 --> 00:03:46,056 is grow another big zit. 76 00:03:46,124 --> 00:03:48,217 I got one on my nose? 77 00:03:48,293 --> 00:03:50,227 Yeah. A big yellow one. 78 00:03:50,295 --> 00:03:51,728 Is it big? 79 00:03:51,796 --> 00:03:54,060 Yeah. Looks like another nose, man. 80 00:03:54,132 --> 00:03:56,566 And ifyou really want to look ugly, 81 00:03:56,634 --> 00:03:59,569 just leave the booger hanging off your mustache there. 82 00:03:59,637 --> 00:04:01,002 There? Is it off? 83 00:04:01,072 --> 00:04:03,006 Yeah, and ifyou really want—— 84 00:04:03,074 --> 00:04:05,167 Oh, man, shut up! 85 00:04:09,714 --> 00:04:12,012 Oh, you are sitting here... 86 00:04:12,083 --> 00:04:14,017 because... 87 00:04:14,085 --> 00:04:15,746 these were the places 88 00:04:15,820 --> 00:04:18,254 for Dolly Parton and Burt Reynolds. 89 00:04:18,323 --> 00:04:21,258 Dolly Parton’s supposed to be sitting here? 90 00:04:21,326 --> 00:04:22,520 Yeah. 91 00:04:22,594 --> 00:04:27,031 Let me clear offa place for her to sit down. 92 00:04:27,098 --> 00:04:31,535 | asked people to put you in the van, you know. 93 00:04:31,603 --> 00:04:34,538 Theyjust told us to sit here, man. 94 00:04:34,606 --> 00:04:36,267 Oh, they didn’t understand. 95 00:04:36,341 --> 00:04:40,277 You’re sure that Burt Reynolds was not in the plane? 96 00:04:40,345 --> 00:04:42,279 He wasn’t with us, man. 97 00:04:42,347 --> 00:04:44,042 We flew first—class. 98 00:04:44,115 --> 00:04:46,549 Maybe he was with the peasants. 99 00:04:46,618 --> 00:04:48,347 You flew first—class? 100 00:04:48,419 --> 00:04:49,818 Yeah. Yeah. 101 00:04:49,888 --> 00:04:51,822 Thanks for the ticket, man. 102 00:04:51,890 --> 00:04:53,551 There’s a little problem. 103 00:04:53,625 --> 00:04:55,559 You didn’t get the telegram? 104 00:04:55,627 --> 00:04:57,060 What telegram? 105 00:04:57,128 --> 00:04:59,562 He said, "Come over here and party." 106 00:04:59,631 --> 00:05:01,496 You was on the list, 107 00:05:01,566 --> 00:05:04,000 but there are a little bit financial problems. 108 00:05:04,068 --> 00:05:05,763 You know Mr. Patrick? 109 00:05:05,837 --> 00:05:07,498 Yeah. He’s the dude 110 00:05:07,572 --> 00:05:09,506 that sent us the tickets, man. 111 00:05:09,574 --> 00:05:11,235 He’s a good dude. 112 00:05:11,309 --> 00:05:13,243 Met him at a party. 113 00:05:13,311 --> 00:05:15,745 He’s a heavy fan of ours. 114 00:05:15,813 --> 00:05:17,508 He told us, man, 115 00:05:17,582 --> 00:05:19,277 "Come on to Amsterdam 116 00:05:19,350 --> 00:05:20,783 and let’s party." 117 00:05:20,852 --> 00:05:22,285 So we’ve been 118 00:05:22,353 --> 00:05:24,287 studying up on partying, man. 119 00:05:24,355 --> 00:05:26,789 We got it down pretty good. 120 00:05:26,858 --> 00:05:28,519 To be quite honest, 121 00:05:28,593 --> 00:05:31,528 | asked him to cancel this trip 122 00:05:31,596 --> 00:05:35,032 because we have a little bit offinancial problems, too. 123 00:05:35,099 --> 00:05:36,532 Oh, yeah? 124 00:05:36,601 --> 00:05:40,537 Yeah. The Mr. Patrick, he left with all my money 125 00:05:40,605 --> 00:05:42,539 and also my car, 126 00:05:42,607 --> 00:05:46,543 so certainly he will be back one of these days. 127 00:05:46,611 --> 00:05:48,044 Yeah, hell come back. 128 00:05:48,112 --> 00:05:50,046 Hey, we’ll help you out. 129 00:05:50,114 --> 00:05:52,548 We’ll do a show for you, man. 130 00:05:52,617 --> 00:05:55,552 Hey, man, we haven’t worked in four years. 131 00:05:55,620 --> 00:05:57,611 I remember the bits, man. 132 00:05:57,689 --> 00:05:59,554 Hey, where’s the windmills, man? 133 00:05:59,624 --> 00:06:01,990 [ Host ] You can see one on your left. 134 00:06:02,060 --> 00:06:03,493 Where’s the chocolate? 135 00:06:03,561 --> 00:06:05,495 You been before in Holland? 136 00:06:05,563 --> 00:06:06,996 No, man. 137 00:06:07,065 --> 00:06:09,499 What are you doing in America? 138 00:06:09,567 --> 00:06:11,501 Are you in radio shows? 139 00:06:11,569 --> 00:06:14,003 You never heard of Cheech & Chong? 140 00:06:14,072 --> 00:06:15,164 No. 141 00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:17,174 Where you been, under a rock? 142 00:06:17,242 --> 00:06:18,937 We make movies, man. 143 00:06:19,010 --> 00:06:21,501 I have a wonderful movie theater. 144 00:06:21,579 --> 00:06:23,012 Oh, yeah? 145 00:06:23,081 --> 00:06:25,515 And we’re having a press conference, 146 00:06:25,583 --> 00:06:29,610 and I want to introduce Dolly Parton and Burt Reynolds 147 00:06:29,687 --> 00:06:31,678 and that people from Holland... 148 00:06:31,756 --> 00:06:33,519 the newspapers, you know. 149 00:06:33,591 --> 00:06:35,752 Is that one of the parties? 150 00:06:35,827 --> 00:06:37,522 Because Patrick said 151 00:06:37,595 --> 00:06:40,257 Sylvia Kristel’s going to be at the party. 152 00:06:40,331 --> 00:06:41,525 Maybe. 153 00:06:41,599 --> 00:06:43,191 So you’re a Hollander. 154 00:06:43,268 --> 00:06:44,860 I’m a Hollander, yeah. 155 00:06:44,936 --> 00:06:47,871 There are parties, but I have to cancel 156 00:06:47,939 --> 00:06:49,531 because the financial problems. 157 00:06:49,607 --> 00:06:52,041 Maybe we can have one party. 158 00:06:52,110 --> 00:06:55,045 Do you know where I can score some hash? 159 00:06:55,113 --> 00:06:56,205 What? 160 00:06:56,281 --> 00:06:57,771 I got that address 161 00:06:57,849 --> 00:06:59,783 of that doper cafe, man. 162 00:06:59,851 --> 00:07:01,978 We have a lot of cafes. 163 00:07:02,053 --> 00:07:03,987 The thing aboutjet lag—— 164 00:07:04,055 --> 00:07:06,489 you got to smoke a lot of dope, 165 00:07:06,557 --> 00:07:08,457 and it comes out even. 166 00:07:08,526 --> 00:07:10,494 [Marching Band Playing] 167 00:07:22,607 --> 00:07:26,168 Get ready for them. Burt——Burt Reynolds. 168 00:07:26,244 --> 00:07:28,178 [Speaking Foreign Language] 169 00:07:32,583 --> 00:07:34,517 Mr. Burt, welcome in Holland! 170 00:07:36,087 --> 00:07:39,022 [Crowd Yelling And Band Playing] 171 00:07:39,090 --> 00:07:40,717 Mr. Burt! 172 00:07:46,130 --> 00:07:47,529 Mr. Burt! 173 00:07:47,598 --> 00:07:48,690 Mr. Burt! 174 00:07:48,766 --> 00:07:50,666 [ Cheech ] Thank you very much. 175 00:07:58,609 --> 00:08:01,476 Mr. Dolly, Mr. Burt. 176 00:08:01,546 --> 00:08:03,480 Please, follow me. 177 00:08:03,548 --> 00:08:05,982 This is our very, very best—— 178 00:08:06,050 --> 00:08:08,484 the Saskia Van Uylenburgh suite. 179 00:08:08,553 --> 00:08:10,214 Rembrandt’s former wife. 180 00:08:10,288 --> 00:08:11,915 The best we have. 181 00:08:11,989 --> 00:08:16,983 And here we are in our very, very best. 182 00:08:17,061 --> 00:08:18,653 Amsterdam at your feet. 183 00:08:18,730 --> 00:08:19,958 [ Crash ] 184 00:08:20,031 --> 00:08:21,623 Sorry. 185 00:08:21,699 --> 00:08:24,998 The Rye Building for the big fairs, 186 00:08:25,069 --> 00:08:27,503 Rijks—museum, 187 00:08:27,572 --> 00:08:29,506 Vincent Van Gogh Museum, 188 00:08:29,574 --> 00:08:32,509 and the Museum of the History ofAmsterdam. 189 00:08:32,577 --> 00:08:36,604 You got a lot of nice sights around here, man. 190 00:08:36,681 --> 00:08:38,512 Oh, many, Mr. Burt. many. 191 00:08:38,583 --> 00:08:40,107 [Cheech] Hey, I’m hip. 192 00:08:40,184 --> 00:08:41,913 The royal palace. 193 00:08:41,986 --> 00:08:43,453 Oh, yeah. 194 00:08:43,521 --> 00:08:45,284 The Stedelijk Museum. 195 00:08:45,356 --> 00:08:47,119 Xaviera Hollander’s house 196 00:08:47,191 --> 00:08:48,954 at the other side. 197 00:08:49,026 --> 00:08:50,516 Mr. Burt... 198 00:08:50,595 --> 00:08:53,359 I’m so fond of having you here. 199 00:08:53,431 --> 00:08:54,864 Oh. 200 00:08:54,932 --> 00:08:57,264 I’m your biggest fan, Mr. Burt. 201 00:08:57,335 --> 00:08:58,359 Oh, thanks. 202 00:08:58,436 --> 00:09:00,961 Mr. Burt, I am your biggest fan. 203 00:09:01,038 --> 00:09:02,972 I’ve seen all your pictures! 204 00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:05,975 Except one—— I haven’t seen the last one. 205 00:09:06,043 --> 00:09:07,476 Neither have I. 206 00:09:07,545 --> 00:09:08,978 Excuse me, Mr. Burt. 207 00:09:09,046 --> 00:09:10,638 You got Dutch money? 208 00:09:10,715 --> 00:09:12,478 Oh, no, no, no! 209 00:09:12,550 --> 00:09:15,485 No, Mr. Dolly. You don’t have to pay. 210 00:09:15,553 --> 00:09:17,487 Oh, yeah. It’s free, man. 211 00:09:17,555 --> 00:09:19,216 Yes! 212 00:09:19,290 --> 00:09:21,349 No, no! 213 00:09:23,561 --> 00:09:25,995 I’m sorry, no. It’s not free. 214 00:09:26,063 --> 00:09:28,497 You have to sign for it. 215 00:09:28,566 --> 00:09:29,999 Oh. 216 00:09:30,067 --> 00:09:31,500 Mr.]ohn... 217 00:09:31,569 --> 00:09:33,002 Hoderfree. 218 00:09:33,070 --> 00:09:35,868 Mr.John Hoderfree. He, uh... 219 00:09:35,940 --> 00:09:37,840 he arranged everything for you. 220 00:09:37,909 --> 00:09:39,843 You just order and sign. 221 00:09:39,911 --> 00:09:42,345 Oh, OK. I can get that. 222 00:09:42,413 --> 00:09:43,846 Oh, Mr. Burt, 223 00:09:43,915 --> 00:09:46,349 How is Raquel Welch in reality, 224 00:09:46,417 --> 00:09:47,850 fiesh to flesh? 225 00:09:47,919 --> 00:09:50,353 She’s going to last forever, man. 226 00:09:50,421 --> 00:09:51,854 Oh, really? 227 00:09:51,923 --> 00:09:53,891 Yeah. She’s heavy. 228 00:09:53,958 --> 00:09:56,859 Mr. Burt, when there’s anything you need... 229 00:09:56,928 --> 00:09:58,361 Oh, yeah? 230 00:09:58,429 --> 00:09:59,862 I mean anything. 231 00:09:59,931 --> 00:10:01,023 Anything? 232 00:10:01,098 --> 00:10:02,190 Anything! 233 00:10:02,266 --> 00:10:03,699 Oh, yeah? 234 00:10:03,768 --> 00:10:06,760 Mr. Burt, we have some ivory statues, 235 00:10:06,838 --> 00:10:08,237 oriental statues... 236 00:10:08,306 --> 00:10:10,536 [Speaking Foreign Language] 237 00:10:10,608 --> 00:10:12,041 from gorgeous delight 238 00:10:12,109 --> 00:10:13,474 in the basement... 239 00:10:13,544 --> 00:10:15,034 Oh, yeah? 240 00:10:15,112 --> 00:10:17,546 With tiny fingers who work you up slowly... 241 00:10:17,615 --> 00:10:19,549 [Woman Speaking Foreign Language] 242 00:10:19,617 --> 00:10:23,075 till an excitement you’ve never had before... 243 00:10:23,154 --> 00:10:24,553 You just sign, huh? 244 00:10:24,622 --> 00:10:26,556 Sorry. I have to take him. 245 00:10:26,624 --> 00:10:28,057 [Speaking Foreign Language] 246 00:10:28,125 --> 00:10:29,922 1,001 delights, Mr. Burt. 247 00:10:29,994 --> 00:10:32,792 Anything you wish. 248 00:10:32,864 --> 00:10:34,559 Mr. Burt. 249 00:10:34,632 --> 00:10:37,567 Mr. Dolly. 250 00:10:37,635 --> 00:10:39,569 Enjoy your stamen in Amsterdam... 251 00:10:39,637 --> 00:10:41,070 |n Holland! 252 00:10:43,975 --> 00:10:46,671 And you just sign. Anything. 253 00:10:46,744 --> 00:10:48,234 Amsterdamski, man. 254 00:10:48,312 --> 00:10:50,246 Hey, hey, hey. All right. 255 00:10:50,314 --> 00:10:52,077 Your luggage. 256 00:10:52,149 --> 00:10:53,582 Thank you. 257 00:10:55,253 --> 00:10:56,777 just sign for it. 258 00:10:56,854 --> 00:10:58,082 Sign? 259 00:10:58,155 --> 00:10:59,918 Sign for it. 260 00:10:59,991 --> 00:11:01,583 [Cheech Sighs] 261 00:11:04,862 --> 00:11:06,454 And for you. 262 00:11:08,599 --> 00:11:11,534 Could you give me one for the doorman? 263 00:11:11,602 --> 00:11:13,035 Oh, of course. 264 00:11:14,872 --> 00:11:16,305 Thank you. 265 00:11:17,875 --> 00:11:20,036 Good—byein’. 266 00:11:20,111 --> 00:11:21,544 Ahh! 267 00:11:21,612 --> 00:11:23,045 We made it, man. 268 00:11:23,114 --> 00:11:25,548 I wonder where the toiletski is. 269 00:11:37,128 --> 00:11:38,561 Wow! 270 00:11:38,629 --> 00:11:42,065 You ought to see the size of this bathtub. 271 00:11:42,133 --> 00:11:45,068 We could have a couple friends in, man. 272 00:11:45,136 --> 00:11:47,468 Still got that little outboard motor? 273 00:11:47,538 --> 00:11:50,803 Wow, look at this! Hey, man, what is this? 274 00:11:50,875 --> 00:11:52,308 Hey! 275 00:11:52,376 --> 00:11:54,344 Hey, man! Help! 276 00:11:54,412 --> 00:11:57,643 What are you doing, man? 277 00:11:57,715 --> 00:11:59,239 Hey, man... 278 00:11:59,317 --> 00:12:00,682 Help! 279 00:12:00,751 --> 00:12:02,616 Hey! 280 00:12:08,926 --> 00:12:10,689 [ Cheech ] Hello, room service? 281 00:12:10,761 --> 00:12:12,126 Hi. 282 00:12:12,196 --> 00:12:14,027 This is Mr. Burt 283 00:12:14,098 --> 00:12:17,033 Up in the Suzie—Q suite, man. 284 00:12:17,101 --> 00:12:18,534 Mr. Burt. 285 00:12:18,602 --> 00:12:20,536 You know, Burt and Dolly. 286 00:12:20,604 --> 00:12:23,038 Yeah, that Raquel Welch—— she’s something. 287 00:12:23,107 --> 00:12:24,699 No, they’re real, man. 288 00:12:24,775 --> 00:12:27,710 You know that caviar you sent up today? 289 00:12:27,778 --> 00:12:29,712 Hey, man, it smells fishy. 290 00:12:29,780 --> 00:12:32,214 Yeah, and it all turned black. 291 00:12:32,282 --> 00:12:34,716 Somebody left it out all night 292 00:12:34,785 --> 00:12:36,218 or something, man. 293 00:12:36,286 --> 00:12:38,220 So can you send up 294 00:12:38,288 --> 00:12:40,222 some of that other caviar? 295 00:12:40,290 --> 00:12:43,225 Yeah, send up some of that Belgian. 296 00:12:43,293 --> 00:12:45,227 I don’t know. A pound. 297 00:12:45,295 --> 00:12:47,729 No, no. Make it 5 pounds. 298 00:12:47,798 --> 00:12:49,561 Whatever you got, man. 299 00:12:49,633 --> 00:12:52,568 Send it right up. We’re really hungry. 300 00:12:52,636 --> 00:12:54,069 O.K., donkey smell. 301 00:12:54,138 --> 00:12:56,072 Oh, all right. They came. 302 00:12:56,140 --> 00:12:59,075 Hey, that’s the new series, man. 303 00:12:59,143 --> 00:13:00,508 All right. 304 00:13:04,081 --> 00:13:06,515 [Rock Music Playing On Headset] 305 00:13:11,422 --> 00:13:13,856 I’m beginning to feel sort of bored. 306 00:13:13,924 --> 00:13:16,518 Let’s go see the town. Come on. 307 00:13:16,593 --> 00:13:17,924 What? 308 00:13:52,629 --> 00:13:55,063 Amsterdam! 309 00:13:55,132 --> 00:13:57,066 Look at these buds, man. 310 00:13:57,134 --> 00:13:58,567 Look at this. 311 00:14:00,304 --> 00:14:01,703 They’re real. 312 00:14:01,772 --> 00:14:03,433 [Woman] Hello. 313 00:14:03,507 --> 00:14:05,998 Would you like to eat something? 314 00:14:06,076 --> 00:14:08,010 Oh, yeah, please. 315 00:14:08,078 --> 00:14:09,511 Special today is indigo. 316 00:14:09,580 --> 00:14:11,013 Oh, great. 317 00:14:11,081 --> 00:14:13,015 Would you like some tea? 318 00:14:13,083 --> 00:14:14,710 I’d love some tea. 319 00:14:14,785 --> 00:14:18,346 Oh, wow. Look what they got, man. 320 00:14:20,090 --> 00:14:23,025 Wow! "Fresh buds in season with melon." 321 00:14:23,093 --> 00:14:25,027 Lookie here. " Filet—a—cola." 322 00:14:25,095 --> 00:14:26,528 Ha ha! 323 00:14:26,597 --> 00:14:28,531 Here’s my favorite—— seed soup. 324 00:14:28,599 --> 00:14:31,568 I wonder ifthey got pepper with that. 325 00:14:31,635 --> 00:14:32,863 Uh... 326 00:14:32,936 --> 00:14:34,528 I want to start 327 00:14:34,605 --> 00:14:36,971 with a tossed California bud salad 328 00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:39,031 and then a shake—shake. 329 00:14:39,109 --> 00:14:40,701 And what’s fungus mungus? 330 00:14:40,778 --> 00:14:42,211 Well, never mind. 331 00:14:42,279 --> 00:14:44,247 Bring it to me anyway. 332 00:14:44,314 --> 00:14:48,045 For my main course, I want a Bogart special 333 00:14:48,118 --> 00:14:50,848 with everything, including the mold. 334 00:14:50,921 --> 00:14:52,388 Then I’ll try 335 00:14:52,456 --> 00:14:55,391 the temple ball surprise, too, O.K.? 336 00:14:55,459 --> 00:14:56,892 Pig out, man. 337 00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:58,552 I’ll have the, um... 338 00:14:58,629 --> 00:15:00,995 cream of hash and barley soup 339 00:15:01,064 --> 00:15:02,656 and the fresh buds. 340 00:15:02,733 --> 00:15:04,496 Are they in season? 341 00:15:04,568 --> 00:15:06,001 Yeah, O.K. 342 00:15:06,069 --> 00:15:08,003 And, uh... oh, for dessert, 343 00:15:08,071 --> 00:15:10,005 I1lhave the space yogurt 344 00:15:10,073 --> 00:15:11,665 with chopped kola nuts. 345 00:15:11,742 --> 00:15:13,505 Thank you very much. 346 00:15:13,577 --> 00:15:15,738 Put the rush on it. 347 00:15:15,813 --> 00:15:17,610 Ah, yes! 348 00:15:17,681 --> 00:15:19,444 J | get delirious J 349 00:15:19,516 --> 00:15:22,144 J Whenever you’re near J 350 00:15:22,219 --> 00:15:27,521 J Lose all self—control, baby, just can’t steer J 351 00:15:27,591 --> 00:15:29,786 J My wheels get locked in place J 352 00:15:29,860 --> 00:15:32,260 J Get a stupid look on my face J 353 00:15:32,329 --> 00:15:34,559 J When it comes to makin’ a pass, pretty mamma J 354 00:15:34,631 --> 00:15:36,258 J |just can’t win a race J 355 00:15:36,333 --> 00:15:38,631 J Cuz I get delirious J 356 00:15:41,872 --> 00:15:43,999 J DeliriousJ 357 00:15:46,810 --> 00:15:48,607 J DeliriousJ 358 00:15:51,281 --> 00:15:53,010 J | get delirious J 359 00:15:53,083 --> 00:15:56,849 J When you hold my hand J 360 00:15:56,920 --> 00:16:01,653 J Body gets so weak, I can hardly stand J 361 00:16:01,725 --> 00:16:04,193 J My temperature’s runnin’ hot J 362 00:16:04,261 --> 00:16:06,593 J Baby, you got to stop J 363 00:16:06,663 --> 00:16:09,063 J Cuz ifyou don’t, I’m gonna explode J 364 00:16:09,132 --> 00:16:10,531 JAnd, girl, I got a lot J 365 00:16:10,601 --> 00:16:13,035 J | get delirious J 366 00:16:15,005 --> 00:16:18,463 J I’m delirious, yeah J 367 00:16:18,542 --> 00:16:20,567 JAll rightJ 368 00:16:20,644 --> 00:16:22,578 J I’m deliriousJ 369 00:16:22,646 --> 00:16:24,409 JYeah, yeah J 370 00:16:24,481 --> 00:16:26,210 J Yeah, yeah, yeah J 371 00:16:26,283 --> 00:16:28,308 J DeliriousJ 372 00:16:28,385 --> 00:16:29,579 JYeah J 373 00:16:30,988 --> 00:16:32,922 J DeliriousJ 374 00:16:32,990 --> 00:16:34,514 Uhh. 375 00:16:34,591 --> 00:16:36,024 You feel anything? 376 00:16:36,093 --> 00:16:38,027 J Delirious JJ 377 00:16:38,095 --> 00:16:39,528 Uhh. 378 00:16:39,596 --> 00:16:41,530 Hey. I’m still hungry, man. 379 00:16:41,598 --> 00:16:43,896 Want to order another one? 380 00:16:43,967 --> 00:16:45,400 Uhh. 381 00:16:45,535 --> 00:16:46,968 [Crowd Murmuring] 382 00:16:47,037 --> 00:16:50,029 [Host ] Try to explain why people are not... 383 00:16:50,107 --> 00:16:52,041 people are not... 384 00:16:52,109 --> 00:16:54,543 Come on, and you sit there. 385 00:16:54,611 --> 00:16:56,044 Yeah, O.K. 386 00:16:56,113 --> 00:16:58,047 Sit down. Sit down. 387 00:17:04,554 --> 00:17:06,488 [Speaking Foreign Language] 388 00:17:18,869 --> 00:17:20,894 You have any aspirin, man? 389 00:17:20,971 --> 00:17:22,336 Halfa ’lude. 390 00:17:22,406 --> 00:17:24,465 Slip it to me. 391 00:17:27,811 --> 00:17:30,143 ...Mr. Cheech and Mr. Chong... 392 00:17:38,088 --> 00:17:40,079 be as nice as possible. 393 00:17:40,157 --> 00:17:42,523 I have to make phone calls 394 00:17:42,592 --> 00:17:46,358 for the airplane of Miss Parton and Mr. Burt Rey... 395 00:17:46,430 --> 00:17:48,523 But I’ll be right back. 396 00:17:48,598 --> 00:17:50,793 [Man] Mr. Cheek and Mr. Wrong. 397 00:17:50,867 --> 00:17:52,801 Mr. Cheek and Mr.joke. 398 00:17:52,869 --> 00:17:54,530 |don’t understand something. 399 00:17:54,604 --> 00:17:57,038 I’m waiting here halfan hour—— 400 00:17:57,107 --> 00:17:59,041 Uh, we overslept. 401 00:17:59,109 --> 00:18:00,633 We underslept. 402 00:18:00,711 --> 00:18:02,303 Who the hell are you? 403 00:18:02,379 --> 00:18:03,812 Cheech & Chong. 404 00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:07,145 Uh, Cheech like peach, and Chong like dong. 405 00:18:07,217 --> 00:18:10,186 [Man ] Which kind offilms are in the festival? 406 00:18:10,253 --> 00:18:11,811 Take this awhile. 407 00:18:11,888 --> 00:18:13,981 I’m going to get a nap. 408 00:18:14,057 --> 00:18:15,547 [ Cheech ] Yeah, O.K. 409 00:18:15,625 --> 00:18:18,992 Do you know when Reynolds and Parton are coming? 410 00:18:19,062 --> 00:18:20,825 Ah, ah, yeah, um... 411 00:18:20,897 --> 00:18:23,491 Dolly Parton’s coming and Burt Reynolds 412 00:18:23,567 --> 00:18:25,797 and, uh, Paul Newman, 413 00:18:25,869 --> 00:18:28,633 andjimi Hendrix is coming. 414 00:18:28,705 --> 00:18:30,002 Uh, E.T.—— E.T.‘s coming. 415 00:18:30,073 --> 00:18:32,803 He’s a personal friend of mine. 416 00:18:32,876 --> 00:18:34,707 Who are you? 417 00:18:34,778 --> 00:18:36,678 [ Cheech ] Cheech & Chong! 418 00:18:36,747 --> 00:18:39,511 We’re really big in the States, man. 419 00:18:39,583 --> 00:18:42,017 [Trumpet Fanfare Playing] 420 00:18:42,085 --> 00:18:44,019 [Applause] 421 00:18:55,098 --> 00:18:56,360 Bravo! 422 00:19:04,307 --> 00:19:06,241 [Speaking Foreign Language] 423 00:19:09,279 --> 00:19:12,214 I’m really proud to... may I introduce 424 00:19:12,282 --> 00:19:15,376 the most famous world actors... 425 00:19:15,452 --> 00:19:18,148 Mr. Cheech and Mr. Chong. 426 00:19:18,221 --> 00:19:20,155 [Applause And Cheering] 427 00:19:29,566 --> 00:19:32,433 Yes, you may begin your questions now. 428 00:19:32,502 --> 00:19:35,494 Thank you very much, Mr. Cheech, Mr. Chong, 429 00:19:35,572 --> 00:19:37,506 For coming to the Netherlands. 430 00:19:37,574 --> 00:19:41,010 We are thrilled that we can see you now. 431 00:19:41,078 --> 00:19:44,013 But our first question—— my question——is, 432 00:19:44,081 --> 00:19:47,050 why did you organize your first film festival 433 00:19:47,117 --> 00:19:48,516 in Amsterdam? 434 00:19:48,585 --> 00:19:50,018 Um... 435 00:19:50,087 --> 00:19:51,520 because. 436 00:20:00,497 --> 00:20:02,829 [Man] Mr. Cheech and Mr. Chong, 437 00:20:02,899 --> 00:20:07,461 we are pleased to have you here, and I love you. 438 00:20:07,537 --> 00:20:10,005 I mean, I love all your films. 439 00:20:10,073 --> 00:20:14,032 I have seen them all... except the latest one 440 00:20:14,111 --> 00:20:17,046 because there was a line outside about 3 miles, 441 00:20:17,114 --> 00:20:19,344 so I couldn’t get tickets. 442 00:20:19,416 --> 00:20:23,113 The Cheech shall arrange tickets for you. 443 00:20:23,186 --> 00:20:24,551 Oh, thankyou! 444 00:20:24,621 --> 00:20:25,918 Two! 445 00:20:27,924 --> 00:20:29,357 [ Man ] Mr. Cheech. 446 00:20:29,426 --> 00:20:30,450 Yes. 447 00:20:30,527 --> 00:20:33,052 We know you made that scar 448 00:20:33,130 --> 00:20:36,065 to give all the actors a chance, 449 00:20:36,133 --> 00:20:38,567 but you are even more handsome 450 00:20:38,635 --> 00:20:41,103 with the scar on your face! 451 00:20:41,171 --> 00:20:44,072 What can I do? What can I do? 452 00:20:44,141 --> 00:20:45,802 Ha ha! I try. 453 00:20:45,876 --> 00:20:47,673 [Man] We love you! 454 00:20:50,714 --> 00:20:54,548 I owe it all to my director. 455 00:20:54,618 --> 00:20:57,587 I owe it all to my director. 456 00:20:57,654 --> 00:20:59,246 Ha ha ha! 457 00:20:59,322 --> 00:21:01,688 [ Cheech ] Hey! Hey, wake up, man. 458 00:21:01,758 --> 00:21:04,522 It’s over. Let’s go. Let’s get some breakfast. 459 00:21:04,594 --> 00:21:06,027 I’m hungry. 460 00:21:06,096 --> 00:21:09,031 [Host] Why are you telling all those things? 461 00:21:09,099 --> 00:21:11,533 | asked you to be nice. 462 00:21:11,601 --> 00:21:14,297 There were a lot of important newspapermen. 463 00:21:14,371 --> 00:21:15,998 And did you tell 464 00:21:16,072 --> 00:21:17,539 about Paul Newman? 465 00:21:17,607 --> 00:21:19,871 Who invited E.T.? Who invited E.T.? 466 00:21:19,943 --> 00:21:22,776 [Cheech ] You think they still have caviar? 467 00:21:27,117 --> 00:21:28,709 [Cheech Sighs] 468 00:21:32,122 --> 00:21:34,556 I know exactly what I want. 469 00:21:34,624 --> 00:21:36,558 You want to order now? 470 00:21:36,626 --> 00:21:38,560 Yeah. I want huevos rancheros 471 00:21:38,628 --> 00:21:41,563 with rice and beans and hot tortillas, 472 00:21:41,631 --> 00:21:44,566 a shot of tequila, and a Dos Equis. 473 00:21:44,634 --> 00:21:46,067 |don’t understand. 474 00:21:46,136 --> 00:21:48,070 Well, what have you got? 475 00:21:48,138 --> 00:21:50,072 I’ll have coffee and toast. 476 00:21:50,140 --> 00:21:52,574 Make that two coffee and toast. 477 00:21:52,642 --> 00:21:54,075 Coffee and toast. 478 00:21:54,144 --> 00:21:56,578 I’d like a muchacha burrito, man. 479 00:21:56,646 --> 00:21:58,409 You want some mussels? 480 00:21:58,481 --> 00:22:00,415 No.just coffee and toast. 481 00:22:00,483 --> 00:22:01,677 You sure? 482 00:22:01,751 --> 00:22:02,843 Yeah. 483 00:22:02,919 --> 00:22:04,011 O.K. 484 00:22:04,087 --> 00:22:05,520 Thanks a lot. 485 00:22:05,589 --> 00:22:08,023 Let’s start thinking about our show, man. 486 00:22:08,091 --> 00:22:10,525 Yeah. Seriously start thinking about it. 487 00:22:10,594 --> 00:22:13,028 Let’s do a bit about parties. 488 00:22:13,096 --> 00:22:15,030 Something we know. 489 00:22:15,098 --> 00:22:17,532 We promised that dude a show. 490 00:22:17,601 --> 00:22:20,035 We should start thinking about something. 491 00:22:20,103 --> 00:22:21,536 Ah, yeah. 492 00:22:21,605 --> 00:22:24,301 Well, what do you want to do? 493 00:22:24,374 --> 00:22:25,807 You know, like, 494 00:22:25,875 --> 00:22:27,536 something about movies, television. 495 00:22:27,611 --> 00:22:29,044 Oh! Duh! 496 00:22:29,112 --> 00:22:31,046 Iwas working on a bit. 497 00:22:31,114 --> 00:22:33,548 We do a takeoff on E. 77, 498 00:22:33,617 --> 00:22:36,552 except it’s like a Chicano version, right? 499 00:22:36,620 --> 00:22:39,555 It’s called E. 7T--Edd/'e Torres, the eXtra test/c/e. 500 00:22:39,623 --> 00:22:42,558 This horny guy from east outer space 501 00:22:42,626 --> 00:22:45,561 lands on earth in a lowrider flying saucer, 502 00:22:45,629 --> 00:22:49,065 and he pulls up on this chick’s lawn, 503 00:22:49,132 --> 00:22:52,226 and he chases her around the house 504 00:22:52,302 --> 00:22:54,566 going, "beep beep beep beep beep." 505 00:22:54,638 --> 00:22:57,573 How are we going to do that onstage? 506 00:22:57,641 --> 00:22:59,575 I got a costume, man. 507 00:22:59,643 --> 00:23:03,511 I had a guy make it up down the street. 508 00:23:03,580 --> 00:23:06,014 E.T.——Eddie Torres, the extra testicle! 509 00:23:06,082 --> 00:23:07,515 Huh? 510 00:23:07,584 --> 00:23:09,017 Pretty cool, huh? 511 00:23:09,085 --> 00:23:10,518 Yeah, it’s great. 512 00:23:10,587 --> 00:23:14,023 Check this out for special effects. Big—budget, huh? 513 00:23:14,090 --> 00:23:16,024 When the chick comes around, 514 00:23:16,092 --> 00:23:18,526 he chases her around the house. 515 00:23:18,595 --> 00:23:20,028 Beep beep beep. 516 00:23:32,108 --> 00:23:35,805 Guess she doesn’t speak Spanish, huh? 517 00:23:35,879 --> 00:23:37,642 [Videocamera Recording] 518 00:23:49,125 --> 00:23:52,390 Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep. 519 00:23:54,731 --> 00:23:56,164 Beep beep beep beep! 520 00:23:56,232 --> 00:23:57,665 Oh! 521 00:24:05,408 --> 00:24:06,966 [Woman ] Don’t touch me! 522 00:24:14,684 --> 00:24:16,948 Hey, man, get out of here. 523 00:24:17,020 --> 00:24:19,818 I got something going. Leave me alone. 524 00:24:19,889 --> 00:24:21,789 Get out of here, man! 525 00:24:21,858 --> 00:24:23,792 |ain’t bullshitting with you. 526 00:24:23,860 --> 00:24:25,293 Now, get out. 527 00:24:27,364 --> 00:24:29,127 [Videocamera Stops] 528 00:24:29,199 --> 00:24:32,635 [Cheech] Beep beep beep beep! 529 00:24:37,907 --> 00:24:40,137 Something wrong? 530 00:24:40,210 --> 00:24:42,940 Uh, the doors locked. 531 00:24:43,012 --> 00:24:45,640 Oh. I’ll help you. 532 00:24:50,220 --> 00:24:52,154 [Starts Videocamera ] 533 00:24:55,725 --> 00:24:58,751 [Speaking Foreign Language] 534 00:25:25,121 --> 00:25:27,612 Get the fuck out of here, man. 535 00:25:27,690 --> 00:25:30,124 We’re going to get in trouble. 536 00:25:33,696 --> 00:25:35,630 Come on, man. Get... 537 00:25:45,875 --> 00:25:47,308 [ Door Closes] 538 00:25:47,377 --> 00:25:48,469 [Cheech] Hey. 539 00:25:48,545 --> 00:25:50,137 [Banging] 540 00:25:50,213 --> 00:25:51,942 Hey, man. Open the door. 541 00:25:52,015 --> 00:25:53,812 Hey, man. It’s stuck. 542 00:25:53,883 --> 00:25:55,817 Hey, man. Open the door! 543 00:25:59,055 --> 00:26:00,579 Hey, man! 544 00:26:02,158 --> 00:26:05,093 Hey, man. Get the fuck out of here. 545 00:26:05,161 --> 00:26:06,594 Asshole! 546 00:26:06,663 --> 00:26:08,130 Ha ha! 547 00:26:08,198 --> 00:26:11,065 Hey! 548 00:26:11,134 --> 00:26:12,601 Mmm...beep beep. 549 00:26:12,669 --> 00:26:14,102 Ha ha! 550 00:26:14,170 --> 00:26:16,104 Beep beep. 551 00:26:16,172 --> 00:26:18,106 Ha ha ha! Beep beep. 552 00:26:18,174 --> 00:26:19,607 Beep beep. 553 00:26:19,676 --> 00:26:21,200 Beep beep. 554 00:26:21,277 --> 00:26:23,108 Beep beep. 555 00:26:23,179 --> 00:26:24,476 Beep beep. 556 00:26:24,547 --> 00:26:25,946 Beep beep. 557 00:26:38,528 --> 00:26:40,428 [Cheech] Beep beep beep beep. 558 00:26:40,497 --> 00:26:43,398 Beep beep beep beep. 559 00:26:45,869 --> 00:26:50,636 [Tarzan Yell] 560 00:27:03,486 --> 00:27:05,420 Woo... 561 00:27:05,488 --> 00:27:06,921 Uh... 562 00:27:06,990 --> 00:27:08,252 Ohh... 563 00:27:08,324 --> 00:27:09,586 Uhh... 564 00:27:09,659 --> 00:27:11,126 Hey, I’m O.K. 565 00:27:11,194 --> 00:27:12,752 Don’t send the ransom. 566 00:27:12,829 --> 00:27:14,262 I’m all right. 567 00:27:14,330 --> 00:27:16,093 I made it. 568 00:27:16,165 --> 00:27:19,430 Yee—ha! 569 00:27:19,502 --> 00:27:20,992 Hoo—hoo! 570 00:27:36,019 --> 00:27:37,611 No more. 571 00:27:37,687 --> 00:27:39,120 No more. 572 00:27:39,188 --> 00:27:41,452 No more! 573 00:27:43,192 --> 00:27:45,126 No! No! 574 00:27:45,194 --> 00:27:47,128 No! Take him! 575 00:27:47,196 --> 00:27:48,629 Take him! 576 00:27:48,698 --> 00:27:49,995 No! 577 00:28:09,652 --> 00:28:13,179 Yee—ha! 578 00:28:20,663 --> 00:28:22,096 [Sighs] 579 00:28:27,503 --> 00:28:28,765 [Sizzle] 580 00:28:28,838 --> 00:28:30,772 Beep. 581 00:28:30,840 --> 00:28:33,434 Ohh...beep. 582 00:28:35,178 --> 00:28:48,688 [Sizzle] 583 00:28:48,688 --> 00:28:50,121 Wow, man. 584 00:28:50,190 --> 00:28:51,623 Hey, let’s go eat. 585 00:28:51,691 --> 00:28:53,625 Let’s eat at the club. 586 00:28:53,693 --> 00:28:56,127 O.K. well, where’s the club? 587 00:28:56,196 --> 00:28:57,629 This way. This way. 588 00:28:57,697 --> 00:28:59,130 This way? 589 00:28:59,199 --> 00:29:00,564 This way. Follow me. 590 00:29:00,634 --> 00:29:02,067 All right. 591 00:29:05,839 --> 00:29:08,137 J ...You don’t have no problem J 592 00:29:08,208 --> 00:29:11,234 J People on the river are so eager to give J 593 00:29:11,311 --> 00:29:13,779 J Big wheels keep on turnin’ J 594 00:29:13,847 --> 00:29:16,680 J Proud Mary keeps on burnin’ J 595 00:29:16,750 --> 00:29:18,581 J And we’re rollin’, rollin’ J 596 00:29:18,652 --> 00:29:20,586 J Rollin’, rollin’... J 597 00:29:20,654 --> 00:29:23,452 Hey, donkey smell. 598 00:29:23,523 --> 00:29:26,083 Hey, this is great Dutch entertainment, huh? 599 00:29:26,159 --> 00:29:28,252 Czechoslovakian band and American singers. 600 00:29:28,328 --> 00:29:30,091 Ha ha ha! 601 00:29:30,163 --> 00:29:33,394 Yes? What would you like to drink? 602 00:29:33,466 --> 00:29:35,093 Oh, yes. Yes, yes! 603 00:29:35,168 --> 00:29:36,601 Uh, champagne. 604 00:29:36,670 --> 00:29:38,103 Yeah, champagne. 605 00:29:38,171 --> 00:29:41,607 Bring it here and put it on the table. 606 00:29:41,675 --> 00:29:44,610 Hey, this looks just like the place 607 00:29:44,678 --> 00:29:46,305 we started in, man. 608 00:29:46,379 --> 00:29:49,109 Yeah. Looks a lot like it, huh? 609 00:29:49,182 --> 00:29:51,810 Oh, hey. 610 00:29:51,885 --> 00:29:53,785 Hey, man. Want a cigar? 611 00:29:53,854 --> 00:29:55,116 No. 612 00:29:55,188 --> 00:29:57,452 These are cuban, man. 613 00:29:57,524 --> 00:29:59,924 J Rollin’, rollin’ on the river... JJ 614 00:29:59,993 --> 00:30:02,621 Mmm. 615 00:30:04,197 --> 00:30:05,630 Mmm, Garcia. 616 00:30:05,699 --> 00:30:07,132 Hey, man. 617 00:30:07,200 --> 00:30:08,360 Huh? What? 618 00:30:08,435 --> 00:30:10,767 I’d like to do our act here, man. 619 00:30:10,837 --> 00:30:14,136 I’d like to do an act with that cigar girl—— 620 00:30:14,207 --> 00:30:16,368 an unnatural act, man. 621 00:30:16,443 --> 00:30:18,138 [Applause] 622 00:30:18,211 --> 00:30:21,612 Hey, bravo, bravo! 623 00:30:21,681 --> 00:30:24,149 Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen. 624 00:30:24,217 --> 00:30:25,650 Muchas gracias. 625 00:30:25,719 --> 00:30:27,152 Dan/(e schoen. 626 00:30:27,220 --> 00:30:28,653 Merci heat/coup. 627 00:30:28,722 --> 00:30:30,155 We are Top Flight, 628 00:30:30,223 --> 00:30:32,157 your unique American singing group. 629 00:30:32,225 --> 00:30:34,159 |fyou want to see more, 630 00:30:34,227 --> 00:30:36,787 hang around until show number two. 631 00:30:36,863 --> 00:30:39,661 Right now the Piccadilly Nightclub proudly presents, 632 00:30:39,733 --> 00:30:42,668 all the way from America, another unique feature—— 633 00:30:42,736 --> 00:30:44,169 Red Dick! 634 00:30:44,237 --> 00:30:45,670 Red Dick! 635 00:30:45,739 --> 00:30:48,173 [Applause] 636 00:30:52,245 --> 00:30:54,679 Ha ha ha! 637 00:30:54,748 --> 00:30:56,682 Thank you very much. 638 00:30:56,750 --> 00:30:58,684 Thankyou for the clap. 639 00:30:58,752 --> 00:31:00,617 Thanks for the introduction, 640 00:31:00,687 --> 00:31:04,623 except my names Red Nick, not Red Dick. 641 00:31:04,691 --> 00:31:08,320 That guy must have been peeking in the dressing room. 642 00:31:10,630 --> 00:31:12,621 Thank you very much. 643 00:31:12,699 --> 00:31:14,132 Oh, shit. 644 00:31:14,200 --> 00:31:17,135 Uh, I’m used to singing in the streets, you know, 645 00:31:17,203 --> 00:31:19,398 and this is the first time 646 00:31:19,472 --> 00:31:21,633 I’ve ever been up here onstage. 647 00:31:21,708 --> 00:31:23,141 Ha ha! Goddamn. 648 00:31:23,209 --> 00:31:24,642 I’m so nervous, 649 00:31:24,711 --> 00:31:27,578 you couldn’t get a pin up my ass with a jackhammer. 650 00:31:29,950 --> 00:31:31,645 Thanky’all. 651 00:31:31,718 --> 00:31:34,152 Oh, here’s a joke for you. 652 00:31:34,220 --> 00:31:37,155 You know why cowboys have, like, shit 653 00:31:37,223 --> 00:31:39,691 in their mustaches? 654 00:31:39,759 --> 00:31:41,989 J Oh, lookin’ for love in all the wrong places J 655 00:31:42,062 --> 00:31:43,290 J Lookin’ for love JJ 656 00:31:45,799 --> 00:31:48,165 Oh, thank you very much. 657 00:31:48,234 --> 00:31:49,667 Thanky’all. 658 00:31:49,736 --> 00:31:51,169 All right. 659 00:31:51,237 --> 00:31:55,173 |——|——|’d like to sing you a song now. 660 00:31:55,241 --> 00:31:58,176 It’s called First Time / Seen Her 661 00:31:58,244 --> 00:32:01,213 It’s an original song. I wrote it myself. 662 00:32:01,281 --> 00:32:04,273 [applause] 663 00:32:04,351 --> 00:32:06,285 Thank you very much. 664 00:32:13,460 --> 00:32:16,725 J Well, first time I seen her J 665 00:32:16,796 --> 00:32:18,161 JSittin’ on a hill J 666 00:32:18,231 --> 00:32:20,165 J Wavin’ her tits at Buffalo Bill J 667 00:32:20,233 --> 00:32:22,224 J Gonna tie my pecker to a tree, to a tree J 668 00:32:22,302 --> 00:32:23,929 J Gonna tie my pecker to a tree J 669 00:32:24,004 --> 00:32:25,232 J‘ Oh, second time I seen herJ 670 00:32:25,305 --> 00:32:26,533 J Sittin’ on a log J 671 00:32:26,606 --> 00:32:28,073 JTryin’ to get it on with an old bullfrog J 672 00:32:28,141 --> 00:32:30,041 J Gonna tie my pecker to a tree, to a tree J 673 00:32:30,110 --> 00:32:32,135 J Gonna tie my pecker to a tree JJ 674 00:32:32,212 --> 00:32:34,146 Thank you very much. 675 00:32:34,214 --> 00:32:37,149 Thank you very much for the clap. 676 00:32:37,217 --> 00:32:39,151 Thank y’all very much. 677 00:32:39,219 --> 00:32:40,652 Thank you. 678 00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:43,655 Oh, at this time, it gives me great pressure 679 00:32:43,723 --> 00:32:46,157 to introduce an old buddy ofmine. 680 00:32:46,226 --> 00:32:48,160 He’s an old blues singer 681 00:32:48,228 --> 00:32:51,163 that’s been stringing and singing with me. 682 00:32:51,231 --> 00:32:54,166 We’ve been making a lot of money together. 683 00:32:54,234 --> 00:32:57,169 He’s the world’s oldest blues singer, man. 684 00:32:57,237 --> 00:33:00,172 This guys so old, he farts dust. 685 00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:03,107 Let’s have a big, warm how—do—you—do 686 00:33:03,176 --> 00:33:06,043 for none other than Blind Melon Chitlins! 687 00:33:06,112 --> 00:33:09,104 Come on! Let’s hear it for him! 688 00:33:09,182 --> 00:33:12,117 Blind Melon Chitlins. Come on! 689 00:33:12,185 --> 00:33:15,450 Come on! Blind Melon Chitlins. 690 00:33:15,522 --> 00:33:17,114 [Applause] 691 00:33:17,190 --> 00:33:18,782 Blind Melon Chitlins! 692 00:33:18,858 --> 00:33:20,621 Oh, this guy’s hot! 693 00:33:20,693 --> 00:33:22,126 Blind... 694 00:33:22,195 --> 00:33:23,628 Melon Chitlins. 695 00:33:23,696 --> 00:33:25,630 Blindest singer in the world. 696 00:33:25,698 --> 00:33:27,131 Here you go. 697 00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:28,633 Here you go. 698 00:33:28,701 --> 00:33:30,635 just sit right down there. 699 00:33:30,703 --> 00:33:32,295 Blind Melon Chitlins. 700 00:33:32,372 --> 00:33:33,805 Sit... 701 00:33:33,873 --> 00:33:35,135 No, no. 702 00:33:35,208 --> 00:33:36,641 Get over here. 703 00:33:36,709 --> 00:33:38,643 just sit downski. 704 00:33:38,711 --> 00:33:40,474 Ha ha! All right. 705 00:33:40,547 --> 00:33:42,310 Blind Melon Chitlins. 706 00:33:44,717 --> 00:33:47,151 O.K. There you go. 707 00:33:47,220 --> 00:33:50,155 Look, he can’t see y’all out there 708 00:33:50,223 --> 00:33:52,157 because he’s blind, 709 00:33:52,225 --> 00:33:54,159 but he ain’t deaf, 710 00:33:54,227 --> 00:33:56,661 so let’s have another big hand for him. 711 00:33:56,729 --> 00:33:58,162 Come on. 712 00:34:00,834 --> 00:34:02,597 Blind Melon Chitlins. 713 00:34:02,669 --> 00:34:05,604 [ Laughter] 714 00:34:08,675 --> 00:34:11,610 [Tapping] 715 00:34:18,184 --> 00:34:20,448 [Blows] 716 00:34:23,022 --> 00:34:24,455 [Blows] 717 00:34:33,700 --> 00:34:35,634 [ Laughter] 718 00:34:35,702 --> 00:34:37,636 Blind Melon Chitlins. 719 00:34:44,043 --> 00:34:47,638 [Mumbles] 720 00:34:47,714 --> 00:34:51,150 [ Coughs And Clears Throat] 721 00:34:51,217 --> 00:34:52,650 [Sniffs] 722 00:34:52,719 --> 00:34:55,654 [Mumbles] 723 00:34:55,722 --> 00:34:57,952 [Snorts] 724 00:34:58,024 --> 00:35:00,584 [Snorts] 725 00:35:00,660 --> 00:35:03,595 Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen. 726 00:35:03,663 --> 00:35:06,598 Right now, right now... 727 00:35:06,666 --> 00:35:11,103 my name is Blind Melon Chitlins. 728 00:35:11,171 --> 00:35:13,105 I’m a 729 00:35:13,173 --> 00:35:15,107 a legend. 730 00:35:15,175 --> 00:35:18,110 I’m 156 years old. 731 00:35:18,178 --> 00:35:19,611 That’s right. 732 00:35:19,679 --> 00:35:21,977 I’m 156 years old, 733 00:35:22,048 --> 00:35:25,609 and I can still get it up. 734 00:35:25,685 --> 00:35:28,620 Heh heh heh. 735 00:35:28,688 --> 00:35:30,622 just can’t get it in. 736 00:35:30,690 --> 00:35:32,624 Heh heh heh. 737 00:35:32,692 --> 00:35:35,456 That cracks me up. That cracks me up. 738 00:35:35,528 --> 00:35:37,120 Ladies and gentlemen, 739 00:35:37,197 --> 00:35:40,132 I want to get down with y’all right now 740 00:35:40,200 --> 00:35:43,135 and sing a little tune Iwrote one day 741 00:35:43,203 --> 00:35:46,138 when I was beating my old lady—— 742 00:35:46,206 --> 00:35:48,140 a little thing called 743 00:35:48,208 --> 00:35:50,642 Goin ’ Downtown, Gonna See My Girl 744 00:35:50,710 --> 00:35:52,644 Goes something like this here. 745 00:35:52,712 --> 00:35:54,145 1,2. 746 00:36:00,386 --> 00:36:01,751 [Harmonica Squeaks] 747 00:36:10,663 --> 00:36:12,597 [ Laughter] 748 00:36:20,173 --> 00:36:24,439 J Goin’ downtown, gonna see my girl... J 749 00:36:24,510 --> 00:36:26,603 [Plays One Note] 750 00:36:26,679 --> 00:36:30,046 Y’all can dance ifyou want to. 751 00:36:30,116 --> 00:36:35,645 J Yeah, goin’ downtown, gonna see my girl, yeah J 752 00:36:35,722 --> 00:36:37,747 [Plays One Note] 753 00:36:37,824 --> 00:36:43,194 J Goin’ put one leg over my shoulderJ 754 00:36:43,263 --> 00:36:46,630 J Then two legs over my shoulder J 755 00:36:46,699 --> 00:36:47,961 J Then J 756 00:36:48,034 --> 00:36:51,128 [Mumbles] 757 00:36:51,204 --> 00:36:52,637 Hee hee. 758 00:36:52,705 --> 00:36:55,640 Yeah, I’m gonna dance a little bit now. 759 00:36:55,708 --> 00:36:57,107 All right. 760 00:36:57,176 --> 00:37:01,078 J Goin’ put one leg over my shoul—— JJ 761 00:37:01,147 --> 00:37:02,580 Yeah. All right. 762 00:37:02,649 --> 00:37:04,082 Blind Melon Chitlins! 763 00:37:04,150 --> 00:37:06,584 [Glass Breaking] 764 00:37:10,656 --> 00:37:14,092 It’s a good thing these places are open 24 hours, huh? 765 00:37:14,160 --> 00:37:17,095 Man, everything in this town is open 24 hours. 766 00:37:17,163 --> 00:37:19,597 I kept waiting for that bar to close. 767 00:37:19,665 --> 00:37:21,599 I love Amsterdam. 768 00:37:21,667 --> 00:37:24,602 |can’t take much more ofthis partying, man. 769 00:37:24,670 --> 00:37:26,103 I’m wasted. 770 00:37:26,172 --> 00:37:28,606 Hope they got a masseuse here, man. 771 00:37:28,674 --> 00:37:30,767 I need my back worked on. 772 00:37:30,843 --> 00:37:32,970 I need my front worked on, too. 773 00:37:46,525 --> 00:37:49,619 [Door Squeaks] 774 00:37:49,695 --> 00:37:51,128 Cheech? 775 00:37:51,197 --> 00:37:52,630 Huh? 776 00:37:52,698 --> 00:37:55,633 |can’t see shit without my glasses, man. 777 00:37:55,701 --> 00:37:57,635 Sit next to me, man. 778 00:37:57,703 --> 00:38:00,137 Hey, I thought ofanother bit—— 779 00:38:00,206 --> 00:38:01,571 Queer Wars. 780 00:38:01,640 --> 00:38:03,574 Yeah. That would be great. 781 00:38:03,642 --> 00:38:05,576 Remember fags in outer space? 782 00:38:05,644 --> 00:38:07,578 Yeah. That would be good. 783 00:38:07,646 --> 00:38:09,079 Remember how it went? 784 00:38:09,148 --> 00:38:12,584 These two faggots getting ready to go to a party. 785 00:38:12,651 --> 00:38:14,585 Yeah. That’s a good bit. 786 00:38:14,653 --> 00:38:16,245 Queer Wars. Yeah. 787 00:38:16,322 --> 00:38:19,086 What shall I wear to the party tonight? 788 00:38:19,158 --> 00:38:21,092 Oh, wear something exciting. 789 00:38:21,160 --> 00:38:22,593 Oh, I know. 790 00:38:22,661 --> 00:38:25,095 I’m going to go Peter Allen. 791 00:38:25,164 --> 00:38:27,098 |don’t think so. 792 00:38:27,166 --> 00:38:29,259 Yeah. I don’t think so either. 793 00:38:29,335 --> 00:38:31,269 I’m so sick of Carmen Miranda. 794 00:38:31,337 --> 00:38:32,702 Oh! 795 00:38:32,772 --> 00:38:34,262 Tonight... 796 00:38:36,342 --> 00:38:38,276 | go butch. 797 00:38:39,845 --> 00:38:41,278 [Sighs] 798 00:38:41,347 --> 00:38:42,939 Toojackson 5. 799 00:38:43,015 --> 00:38:45,108 Toojackson 5. 800 00:38:45,184 --> 00:38:46,845 Yes, you’re right. 801 00:38:46,919 --> 00:38:49,114 But... 802 00:38:49,188 --> 00:38:52,021 how about Liza? 803 00:38:52,091 --> 00:38:55,083 [Motor Humming] 804 00:38:55,161 --> 00:38:59,530 JStart spreading the ’ludesJ 805 00:38:59,598 --> 00:39:02,726 J I’m crashin’ today JJ 806 00:39:02,802 --> 00:39:05,771 |don’t think so. 807 00:39:05,838 --> 00:39:07,567 Yes, you’re right. 808 00:39:07,640 --> 00:39:09,574 I’m so bored with everything. 809 00:39:09,642 --> 00:39:12,372 We have to buy some new clothes. 810 00:39:12,445 --> 00:39:14,072 [Turns Off Motor] 811 00:39:24,990 --> 00:39:26,514 That’s my cape. 812 00:39:26,592 --> 00:39:28,321 I’mjust trying it on. 813 00:39:28,394 --> 00:39:29,918 Take it off right now. 814 00:39:29,995 --> 00:39:33,089 No. I’m going to wear it tonight. 815 00:39:33,165 --> 00:39:35,827 You always get stains on my clothes. 816 00:39:35,901 --> 00:39:37,163 Iwant to wear it. 817 00:39:37,236 --> 00:39:38,328 /’m wearing it. 818 00:39:38,404 --> 00:39:40,269 /’m wearing it. 819 00:39:40,339 --> 00:39:41,772 That is my cape. 820 00:39:41,841 --> 00:39:43,934 Have a shit fit, why don’t you? 821 00:39:45,511 --> 00:39:48,446 |f| don’t wear the cape, I’m not going. 822 00:39:48,514 --> 00:39:50,106 Well, then don’t go. 823 00:39:50,182 --> 00:39:52,173 Iwon’t go. 824 00:39:54,019 --> 00:39:55,953 There’s plenty of things to wear. 825 00:39:56,021 --> 00:39:58,455 You don’t have to always wear my clothes. 826 00:39:58,524 --> 00:39:59,957 I’m not going. 827 00:40:00,025 --> 00:40:02,960 Dougie, we have to go. We’re imperial guards. 828 00:40:03,028 --> 00:40:05,462 I don’t have to go anywhere. 829 00:40:05,531 --> 00:40:07,123 I’m not going. 830 00:40:07,199 --> 00:40:09,633 All right. I’ll go by myself. 831 00:40:09,702 --> 00:40:12,136 Oh, you’d like that, wouldn’t you? 832 00:40:12,204 --> 00:40:14,638 Hmm. I wonder who’s going to be there. 833 00:40:14,707 --> 00:40:17,642 You know damn well who’s going to be there—— 834 00:40:17,710 --> 00:40:19,143 Han Solo. 835 00:40:19,211 --> 00:40:22,647 "Hands so low" you can hardly see what they’re doing. 836 00:40:22,715 --> 00:40:25,707 I’ll stay home and pig out on chocolate. 837 00:40:25,784 --> 00:40:27,149 [Whimpering] 838 00:40:27,219 --> 00:40:28,618 Oh, Dougie. 839 00:40:28,687 --> 00:40:31,155 Oh, Doug, cheer up. 840 00:40:31,223 --> 00:40:32,656 What’s the matter? 841 00:40:32,725 --> 00:40:35,159 Are you getting your period again? 842 00:40:35,227 --> 00:40:37,161 That’s a joke! 843 00:40:37,229 --> 00:40:39,163 I’mjust getting so old! 844 00:40:39,231 --> 00:40:41,165 Oh, you are not. 845 00:40:41,233 --> 00:40:44,202 lam. You can see all my wrinkles. 846 00:40:44,270 --> 00:40:46,602 Then let’sjust stay home and watch cartoons. 847 00:40:46,672 --> 00:40:49,106 I’ll make some popcorn, make you feel better. 848 00:40:49,175 --> 00:40:50,733 There. 849 00:40:57,616 --> 00:40:59,675 That’s not cartoons. 850 00:40:59,752 --> 00:41:03,119 Let’sjust watch it and see what it is. 851 00:41:03,189 --> 00:41:04,622 Are we on? 852 00:41:04,690 --> 00:41:06,624 Oh... ora/e. 853 00:41:06,692 --> 00:41:09,126 and, like, welcome to Con Talk. 854 00:41:09,195 --> 00:41:11,629 Like, I’m your host, Sleepy Gonzales, 855 00:41:11,697 --> 00:41:16,134 and, uh, we’re going to rap it down to you today, man, 856 00:41:16,202 --> 00:41:19,137 to all you little vato locos out there, man, 857 00:41:19,205 --> 00:41:22,641 as to how to stay out of the slammer 858 00:41:22,708 --> 00:41:24,642 and that shit like that. 859 00:41:24,710 --> 00:41:27,144 I did time in, like, Folsom 860 00:41:27,213 --> 00:41:29,647 and Soledad and Chino, you know. 861 00:41:29,715 --> 00:41:32,149 This is my guest here, man. 862 00:41:32,218 --> 00:41:34,152 This dude’s famous, man. 863 00:41:34,220 --> 00:41:36,654 His name is joe "The Hole" Cole. 864 00:41:36,722 --> 00:41:39,156 He did 40 years in ","Q man, 865 00:41:39,225 --> 00:41:41,159 in Quentin, you know, 866 00:41:41,227 --> 00:41:43,661 and 20 years in the hole. 867 00:41:43,729 --> 00:41:46,163 Hey,joe. Welcome to the show. 868 00:41:47,733 --> 00:41:49,667 You don’t owe me nothing, man, 869 00:41:49,735 --> 00:41:51,669 and I don’t owe you nothing. 870 00:41:51,737 --> 00:41:53,170 Thanks, Speedy. 871 00:41:53,239 --> 00:41:54,672 Uh, Sleepy, man. 872 00:41:54,740 --> 00:41:57,174 So, like, the topic for today 873 00:41:57,243 --> 00:41:59,177 is, like, gun control. 874 00:41:59,245 --> 00:42:01,611 All right? O.K. 875 00:42:01,680 --> 00:42:04,615 Like, I’m against—— I’m for gun control. 876 00:42:04,683 --> 00:42:07,618 What am | for? I’m for gun control. 877 00:42:07,686 --> 00:42:10,621 O.K. like, guns can fuck you up. 878 00:42:10,689 --> 00:42:12,122 Like, knives, 879 00:42:12,191 --> 00:42:15,126 well, they can fuck you up, too, you know? 880 00:42:15,194 --> 00:42:16,627 Check it out. 881 00:42:16,695 --> 00:42:19,630 I got stabbed, like, 13 times in this arm, 882 00:42:19,698 --> 00:42:22,132 and in this arm, I got—— 883 00:42:22,201 --> 00:42:25,136 Oh, I can’t roll up that sleeve. 884 00:42:25,204 --> 00:42:27,138 But I’m still living, you know? 885 00:42:27,206 --> 00:42:29,140 But check this out. 886 00:42:29,208 --> 00:42:30,641 I got shot 887 00:42:30,709 --> 00:42:33,143 on the side of the head there, man. 888 00:42:33,212 --> 00:42:35,146 The bullet went in there, 889 00:42:35,214 --> 00:42:37,148 and it’s still in there, 890 00:42:37,216 --> 00:42:39,650 and that’s why I talk slow. 891 00:42:39,718 --> 00:42:42,653 Has nothing to do with dope, you know. 892 00:42:42,721 --> 00:42:47,158 So, like, nowjoe’s going to rap it down to you. 893 00:42:47,226 --> 00:42:49,660 Uh, O.K., man. 894 00:42:49,728 --> 00:42:51,662 Well, first ofall, Speedy, 895 00:42:51,730 --> 00:42:54,665 I want to say, like most vatos, 896 00:42:54,733 --> 00:42:56,667 you’re full ofshit. 897 00:42:56,735 --> 00:42:59,169 You were full of shit in thejoint, 898 00:42:59,238 --> 00:43:02,105 and you’re even more full ofshit now. 899 00:43:02,174 --> 00:43:03,607 Hey, man... 900 00:43:03,676 --> 00:43:05,109 [Muttering] 901 00:43:05,177 --> 00:43:07,111 Guys like me need guns. 902 00:43:07,179 --> 00:43:10,114 That’s how I make my |iving——with guns. 903 00:43:10,182 --> 00:43:11,615 | rob banks. 904 00:43:11,684 --> 00:43:15,120 Can you see me walking into a bank with a knife, 905 00:43:15,187 --> 00:43:17,121 saying "stick ’em up"? 906 00:43:17,189 --> 00:43:19,123 That would be a trip, huh? 907 00:43:19,191 --> 00:43:20,624 Besides, man... 908 00:43:20,693 --> 00:43:22,627 Guns don’t kill people. 909 00:43:22,695 --> 00:43:24,629 Cops kill people. 910 00:43:24,697 --> 00:43:27,131 Hey, yeah, right on. I hear you there. 911 00:43:27,199 --> 00:43:29,133 The thing is, too, man, 912 00:43:29,201 --> 00:43:31,135 you got to be an idiot 913 00:43:31,203 --> 00:43:33,637 not to know how to handle a gun. 914 00:43:33,706 --> 00:43:35,139 First thing you do, 915 00:43:35,207 --> 00:43:37,539 you make sure the weapon is not—— 916 00:43:37,609 --> 00:43:39,804 [Gunshot] 917 00:43:39,878 --> 00:43:41,641 [ Coughs] 918 00:43:41,714 --> 00:43:43,147 [Gasps] 919 00:43:44,717 --> 00:43:46,150 Oh, wow. 920 00:43:48,554 --> 00:43:51,148 Oh, wow, man. 921 00:43:51,223 --> 00:43:53,157 Here. 922 00:43:53,225 --> 00:43:55,318 Here. 923 00:43:55,394 --> 00:43:57,658 Let it go, man. 924 00:43:57,730 --> 00:44:00,597 That’s all the time we got today 925 00:44:00,666 --> 00:44:02,600 on Con Talk 926 00:44:02,668 --> 00:44:04,602 join us next week 927 00:44:04,670 --> 00:44:06,604 when the topic will be 928 00:44:06,672 --> 00:44:08,606 how to score dope in prison—— 929 00:44:08,674 --> 00:44:11,108 or how not to go to prison. 930 00:44:11,176 --> 00:44:13,110 Hey, man. Have some coffee. 931 00:44:13,178 --> 00:44:14,611 Come on. 932 00:44:16,181 --> 00:44:17,614 [ Coughs] 933 00:44:17,683 --> 00:44:19,446 You all right? 934 00:44:19,518 --> 00:44:21,110 [Clink] 935 00:44:21,186 --> 00:44:23,120 Oh, wow, man. 936 00:44:23,188 --> 00:44:24,621 Hey. 937 00:44:24,690 --> 00:44:27,124 Hey, you’re lucky it came out. 938 00:44:27,192 --> 00:44:29,626 Hey, mine’s still in there, man. 939 00:44:29,695 --> 00:44:31,629 Hey, far out. 940 00:44:31,697 --> 00:44:34,632 So, like, see you next week, you know? 941 00:44:34,700 --> 00:44:36,634 And, uh... 942 00:44:36,702 --> 00:44:38,294 and like that. 943 00:44:40,205 --> 00:44:42,639 You know what we haven’t done yet, man? 944 00:44:42,708 --> 00:44:44,141 What? 945 00:44:44,209 --> 00:44:45,642 A bit on dope. 946 00:44:45,711 --> 00:44:47,144 Oh, yeah. 947 00:44:47,212 --> 00:44:50,147 You know what we need to do? 948 00:44:50,215 --> 00:44:52,149 A takeoff on a telethon. 949 00:44:52,217 --> 00:44:54,651 You know, like jerry Lewis does 950 00:44:54,720 --> 00:44:56,654 to raise money for kids. 951 00:44:56,722 --> 00:44:58,155 Oh, yeah. Wow! 952 00:44:58,223 --> 00:45:00,589 We’ll call it dope—a—thon. 953 00:45:00,659 --> 00:45:02,092 Yeah, yeah. 954 00:45:02,161 --> 00:45:03,594 Yeah. 955 00:45:03,662 --> 00:45:05,095 We have guest hosts. 956 00:45:05,164 --> 00:45:06,597 Yeah? 957 00:45:06,665 --> 00:45:09,099 And we raise money for dopers 958 00:45:09,168 --> 00:45:10,601 that, uh... 959 00:45:10,669 --> 00:45:12,102 lost their crops. 960 00:45:12,171 --> 00:45:13,604 You like that? 961 00:45:13,672 --> 00:45:16,106 Yeah, I love it. Oh, my God. 962 00:45:16,175 --> 00:45:17,608 ||ikeit. 963 00:45:17,676 --> 00:45:19,109 Ohh... 964 00:45:19,178 --> 00:45:20,941 Yeah. Dope—a—thon! 965 00:45:21,013 --> 00:45:23,948 [Music Playing] 966 00:45:24,016 --> 00:45:25,108 Oh! 967 00:45:26,685 --> 00:45:27,777 Ow! 968 00:45:30,022 --> 00:45:31,614 Hey! 969 00:45:31,690 --> 00:45:34,124 Welcome to dope—a—thon ’82. 970 00:45:34,193 --> 00:45:35,626 Ow! 971 00:45:35,694 --> 00:45:38,629 And I’m your host, twisting the night away. 972 00:45:38,697 --> 00:45:40,130 Ow! 973 00:45:40,199 --> 00:45:43,134 We’re going to be here for 36 straight hours 974 00:45:43,202 --> 00:45:45,136 to try to raise money 975 00:45:45,204 --> 00:45:48,139 for the dope victims all over the world. 976 00:45:48,207 --> 00:45:51,643 Now to tell you about this dope—a—thon ’82, 977 00:45:51,710 --> 00:45:55,146 let’s have a big hand for Ashley Roach Clip! 978 00:45:55,214 --> 00:45:58,149 Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! 979 00:45:58,217 --> 00:45:59,650 Welcome, Ashley. 980 00:45:59,718 --> 00:46:01,345 Hey, man. 981 00:46:01,420 --> 00:46:04,218 Can you explain to our folks out there 982 00:46:04,289 --> 00:46:07,224 what this whole dope—a—thon is about? 983 00:46:07,292 --> 00:46:10,227 Uh, O.K., man. Like, we’re here 984 00:46:10,295 --> 00:46:13,230 because the government’s been burning our crops. 985 00:46:13,298 --> 00:46:14,731 Oh, oh. 986 00:46:14,800 --> 00:46:17,234 And they’re causing a dope famine 987 00:46:17,302 --> 00:46:18,963 all over the world. 988 00:46:19,037 --> 00:46:21,232 All over the world. Ow! 989 00:46:21,306 --> 00:46:23,240 Here’s one of the victims 990 00:46:23,308 --> 00:46:24,900 ofthe burning, man. 991 00:46:24,977 --> 00:46:26,569 Oh, isn’t he cute? 992 00:46:26,645 --> 00:46:28,909 That’s a pretty sick sight, man. 993 00:46:28,981 --> 00:46:31,245 So what we want to do, 994 00:46:31,316 --> 00:46:33,250 We want to raise money 995 00:46:33,318 --> 00:46:36,253 so we can buy some tanks and antiaircraft guns. 996 00:46:36,321 --> 00:46:37,754 Good idea. 997 00:46:37,823 --> 00:46:41,088 We got to stop this before it gets out of hand 998 00:46:41,159 --> 00:46:43,593 Because a lot of people in this world 999 00:46:43,662 --> 00:46:46,529 depend on us for their supply ofdrugs. 1000 00:46:46,598 --> 00:46:47,929 Ow! 1001 00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:50,434 This world would probably fall apart 1002 00:46:50,502 --> 00:46:53,266 if it wasn’t for farmers like us 1003 00:46:53,338 --> 00:46:56,273 that take time to grow this shit. 1004 00:46:56,341 --> 00:46:59,777 That’s why we need your money, so send it in. 1005 00:46:59,845 --> 00:47:01,710 Ashley, where are you from? 1006 00:47:01,780 --> 00:47:04,214 I’m from Ann Arbor, Michigan, man. 1007 00:47:04,283 --> 00:47:05,716 Ann Arbor. Ow! 1008 00:47:05,784 --> 00:47:08,218 Yeah, I was there during the sixties 1009 00:47:08,287 --> 00:47:10,482 when the universe meant something. 1010 00:47:10,556 --> 00:47:13,218 Hi, guys out there in Ann Arbor. 1011 00:47:13,292 --> 00:47:15,726 Now we’ll show you a little film 1012 00:47:15,794 --> 00:47:17,386 the studio sent over. 1013 00:47:17,462 --> 00:47:20,226 It’s going to come on next week. 1014 00:47:20,299 --> 00:47:22,733 It’s called The Harder They Don ’t Come. 1015 00:47:22,801 --> 00:47:24,496 Ow! Roll the film! 1016 00:47:26,471 --> 00:47:28,405 J Dope J 1017 00:47:28,473 --> 00:47:30,407 J Dope... J 1018 00:47:30,475 --> 00:47:32,739 You got to have dope, hashish, drugs. 1019 00:47:32,811 --> 00:47:34,745 Come on. Hashish. 1020 00:47:34,813 --> 00:47:37,111 Lebanese. 1021 00:47:37,182 --> 00:47:39,150 Home—grown Nigerian. 1022 00:47:39,217 --> 00:47:40,741 Moroccan. 1023 00:47:42,154 --> 00:47:44,088 J Dope J 1024 00:47:44,156 --> 00:47:45,589 Hey, sister. 1025 00:47:45,657 --> 00:47:47,249 Lebanese, Moroccan hashish. 1026 00:47:47,326 --> 00:47:48,759 Nigerian. Home—grown. 1027 00:47:48,827 --> 00:47:50,260 Come on, sister. 1028 00:47:50,329 --> 00:47:52,263 I give you some special price. 1029 00:47:52,331 --> 00:47:54,595 Dope! 1030 00:47:54,666 --> 00:47:57,260 J Dope J 1031 00:47:57,336 --> 00:47:58,963 [Reggae Music Playing] 1032 00:47:59,037 --> 00:48:02,200 J Concert come, nobody buy dope J 1033 00:48:02,274 --> 00:48:03,366 J Dope J 1034 00:48:03,442 --> 00:48:04,841 J He said "dope," he said "dope" J 1035 00:48:04,910 --> 00:48:07,708 J He said "dope," he said "dope" J 1036 00:48:07,779 --> 00:48:11,943 J Concert come, nobody buy dope J 1037 00:48:12,017 --> 00:48:14,212 J Got Moroccan, Lebanese... JJ 1038 00:48:14,286 --> 00:48:15,719 Hey, brother! 1039 00:48:15,787 --> 00:48:18,221 Hey, you want to buy some smoke from me? 1040 00:48:18,290 --> 00:48:20,224 | make you special price. 1041 00:48:20,292 --> 00:48:22,226 Moroccan, Lebanese, Afghani, huh? 1042 00:48:22,294 --> 00:48:23,727 Nigerian, home—grown. 1043 00:48:23,795 --> 00:48:25,228 Uh, no, no, fella. 1044 00:48:25,297 --> 00:48:27,492 I wandered in here by mistake. 1045 00:48:27,566 --> 00:48:30,228 Iwasjust looking fora drink. 1046 00:48:30,302 --> 00:48:32,736 Christ almighty, I wandered in the wrong place. 1047 00:48:32,804 --> 00:48:34,567 You want happy smoke. 1048 00:48:34,640 --> 00:48:36,574 You got to enjoy music. 1049 00:48:36,642 --> 00:48:38,405 You call that music? 1050 00:48:38,477 --> 00:48:40,911 It sounds like goddamnjungle warfare. 1051 00:48:40,979 --> 00:48:43,413 Oh, no. That’s good reggae, brother. 1052 00:48:43,482 --> 00:48:46,076 It sounds like a bunch ofjungle music. 1053 00:48:46,151 --> 00:48:47,584 Oh, where you from? 1054 00:48:47,653 --> 00:48:49,177 I’m from Canada. 1055 00:48:49,254 --> 00:48:50,744 Canada! 1056 00:48:50,822 --> 00:48:53,757 Oh, Canada! Sergeant Preston, huh? 1057 00:48:53,825 --> 00:48:57,261 J Oh, cana—baso, cana—basa JJ 1058 00:48:57,329 --> 00:48:59,695 | make you special canada price, O.K.? 1059 00:48:59,765 --> 00:49:02,700 You buy from me Nigerian, Moroccan home—grown, huh? 1060 00:49:02,768 --> 00:49:05,066 No. I’m not interested in souvenirs. 1061 00:49:05,137 --> 00:49:06,536 Thanks anyway. 1062 00:49:06,605 --> 00:49:08,539 | not selling souvenirs, brother. 1063 00:49:08,607 --> 00:49:10,768 | selling good happy smoke. 1064 00:49:10,842 --> 00:49:12,207 No. Not interested. 1065 00:49:12,277 --> 00:49:14,711 How you going to enjoy good music 1066 00:49:14,780 --> 00:49:16,873 without good marijuana, huh, brother? 1067 00:49:16,948 --> 00:49:18,381 Say what? 1068 00:49:18,450 --> 00:49:20,884 How you going to enjoy good music 1069 00:49:20,952 --> 00:49:22,442 without good marijuana? 1070 00:49:22,521 --> 00:49:24,716 Well, let me get this straight. 1071 00:49:24,790 --> 00:49:27,452 You’re standing out here selling marijuana? 1072 00:49:27,526 --> 00:49:29,426 Now you got it, brother. 1073 00:49:29,494 --> 00:49:30,552 Yeah! What—— 1074 00:49:30,629 --> 00:49:32,563 All right. Put ’em up. 1075 00:49:32,631 --> 00:49:34,724 Brother, you don’t have to rip me off. 1076 00:49:34,800 --> 00:49:35,767 Police. 1077 00:49:35,834 --> 00:49:37,358 You with the police? 1078 00:49:37,436 --> 00:49:39,063 That’s right. 1079 00:49:39,137 --> 00:49:41,071 Hey! I love you, brother! 1080 00:49:41,139 --> 00:49:42,936 I have all your albums, huh? 1081 00:49:43,008 --> 00:49:45,238 J Don’t stand so close to me—— JJ 1082 00:49:45,310 --> 00:49:48,006 Hey! You goddamn hophead. 1083 00:49:48,080 --> 00:49:50,241 Narcotics! 1084 00:49:50,315 --> 00:49:52,408 Now get over here. 1085 00:49:52,484 --> 00:49:54,247 Take off that stu—— 1086 00:49:54,319 --> 00:49:56,253 What the hell? 1087 00:49:56,321 --> 00:49:59,256 Hey, man. I’m American, man. 1088 00:49:59,324 --> 00:50:01,758 Shit, man. I’m from Detroit. 1089 00:50:01,827 --> 00:50:03,761 Get over here! 1090 00:50:03,829 --> 00:50:05,262 Hey, man. I’m—— 1091 00:50:05,330 --> 00:50:06,763 Shut up, punk! 1092 00:50:06,832 --> 00:50:09,266 I’m over here in the army, man. 1093 00:50:09,334 --> 00:50:11,461 Those motherfuckers don’t pay shit, man. 1094 00:50:11,536 --> 00:50:14,266 Shit, my old lady made me do this. 1095 00:50:14,339 --> 00:50:17,274 She put a gun up to my head. 1096 00:50:17,342 --> 00:50:20,277 You ever try to argue with a Dutch bitch? 1097 00:50:20,345 --> 00:50:23,781 First ofall, you got to look up to them, man. 1098 00:50:23,849 --> 00:50:26,647 She could kick your ass, man. 1099 00:50:26,718 --> 00:50:29,118 All I’m doing is selling harmless smoke, man—— 1100 00:50:29,187 --> 00:50:30,518 just harmless smoke. 1101 00:50:30,589 --> 00:50:31,783 Harmless smoke? 1102 00:50:31,857 --> 00:50:33,119 Yeah. 1103 00:50:33,191 --> 00:50:35,625 Looks like harmless smoke, doesn’t it? 1104 00:50:35,694 --> 00:50:37,787 Oh, man. I’m a diabetic, man. 1105 00:50:37,863 --> 00:50:39,626 That’sjust saccharin, man. 1106 00:50:39,698 --> 00:50:41,632 You can throw it away. 1107 00:50:43,869 --> 00:50:47,134 Oh, motherfucker, what you——oh! 1108 00:50:48,707 --> 00:50:49,969 Fuck. 1109 00:50:50,041 --> 00:50:53,477 O.K., man. You got all my dope. Give me a break. 1110 00:50:53,545 --> 00:50:54,978 You want a break? 1111 00:50:55,046 --> 00:50:56,377 Yeah. Come on. 1112 00:50:56,448 --> 00:50:59,315 Go ahead. Make a run for it. 1113 00:50:59,384 --> 00:51:01,249 I’ll give you three. 1114 00:51:01,319 --> 00:51:02,752 l...2... 1115 00:51:02,821 --> 00:51:04,254 [Click] 1116 00:51:04,322 --> 00:51:06,586 Christ, this thing doesn’t usually misfire. 1117 00:51:06,658 --> 00:51:08,250 Hey, come on, man. 1118 00:51:08,326 --> 00:51:10,260 Probably hit an empty chamber. 1119 00:51:10,328 --> 00:51:12,228 Let’s try that again. Ready? 1120 00:51:12,297 --> 00:51:13,924 l, 2, 3. Please, man! 1121 00:51:15,333 --> 00:51:16,960 What’s the matter, punk? 1122 00:51:17,035 --> 00:51:18,935 Take that gun away from my head. 1123 00:51:19,004 --> 00:51:20,437 Shut up, punk! 1124 00:51:20,437 --> 00:51:23,270 |just got a penicillin shot, man. 1125 00:51:23,340 --> 00:51:25,968 Oh, you’re a real smart ass, aren’t you? 1126 00:51:26,043 --> 00:51:27,237 No, just a sore ass, man. 1127 00:51:27,311 --> 00:51:28,835 Turn around, sore ass. 1128 00:51:28,912 --> 00:51:32,473 I said turn around! 1129 00:51:34,051 --> 00:51:36,485 Oh, you’re really cute, aren’t you? 1130 00:51:36,553 --> 00:51:39,488 Give me a break. Let me go, man. 1131 00:51:39,556 --> 00:51:42,491 I told you, get going. Come on! Run! 1132 00:51:42,559 --> 00:51:44,993 No balls, punk? Huh? No balls? 1133 00:51:45,062 --> 00:51:46,495 No balls, punk? 1134 00:51:46,563 --> 00:51:48,224 Hey, come on, man! 1135 00:51:48,298 --> 00:51:51,233 You got a big mouth, you know that? 1136 00:51:51,301 --> 00:51:52,734 Yes, sir. 1137 00:51:52,803 --> 00:51:54,737 Yeah, "yes, sir." Turn around. 1138 00:51:54,805 --> 00:51:56,500 On your knees, bigmouth. 1139 00:51:56,573 --> 00:51:58,006 Hey! 1140 00:51:58,075 --> 00:52:01,010 I said, on your knees, bigmouth. Move! 1141 00:52:01,078 --> 00:52:02,511 Yes, sir. 1142 00:52:02,579 --> 00:52:05,514 Now come on over here. 1143 00:52:05,582 --> 00:52:07,516 Get over here. 1144 00:52:09,519 --> 00:52:12,682 Now, you know what I want you to do, 1145 00:52:12,756 --> 00:52:14,519 don’t you? 1146 00:52:14,591 --> 00:52:16,183 Oh, fuck that, man! 1147 00:52:16,259 --> 00:52:17,851 Shut up, punk. 1148 00:52:22,632 --> 00:52:25,396 I want you to start praying. 1149 00:52:25,468 --> 00:52:27,459 Pray! 1150 00:52:27,537 --> 00:52:28,970 Oh, Lord! 1151 00:52:29,038 --> 00:52:30,972 Uh, thanks for this meal 1152 00:52:31,040 --> 00:52:33,474 we’re about to receive for—— 1153 00:52:35,545 --> 00:52:38,480 On your feet, punk. Making fun ofGod? 1154 00:52:38,548 --> 00:52:40,982 Iwasn’t making fun ofGod. 1155 00:52:41,050 --> 00:52:42,711 You think God’s funny? 1156 00:52:42,786 --> 00:52:45,721 You son ofa bitch, don’t you ever—— 1157 00:52:45,789 --> 00:52:47,256 All right! 1158 00:52:47,323 --> 00:52:49,985 Hey, hey, hey, hey! 1159 00:52:51,728 --> 00:52:53,161 All right. 1160 00:52:53,229 --> 00:52:54,696 Ha ha ha! 1161 00:52:54,764 --> 00:52:56,197 Oh, yeah. 1162 00:52:56,266 --> 00:52:58,234 All right. Give me the gun. 1163 00:52:58,301 --> 00:52:59,666 Come on. 1164 00:52:59,736 --> 00:53:01,533 Give me the gun. 1165 00:53:01,604 --> 00:53:04,539 Look, you’re in enough trouble already, son. 1166 00:53:04,607 --> 00:53:07,201 Don’t make it worse. All right? 1167 00:53:09,279 --> 00:53:12,214 You’re high on drugs. I can see that. 1168 00:53:12,282 --> 00:53:15,274 Now, listen, son. Don’t make it worse. 1169 00:53:15,351 --> 00:53:19,287 You give me the gun, I’ll let you go. 1170 00:53:19,355 --> 00:53:22,552 Hey, don’t do that. That’s got a hair trigger! 1171 00:53:22,625 --> 00:53:25,219 It could go off at any time. 1172 00:53:25,295 --> 00:53:27,661 I got a wife and kid. 1173 00:53:27,730 --> 00:53:31,166 How would you like a new asshole, too, man? 1174 00:53:31,234 --> 00:53:32,997 Don’t do that, please. 1175 00:53:33,069 --> 00:53:35,936 Hey, look, I’m not even a cop, O.K.? 1176 00:53:36,005 --> 00:53:37,996 I’m a security guard at Woolworth’s. 1177 00:53:38,074 --> 00:53:41,168 I’m on vacation. I got a wife and kids. 1178 00:53:41,244 --> 00:53:42,677 Boom—boom! 1179 00:53:42,745 --> 00:53:45,179 Don’t do that! Don’t do that! 1180 00:53:45,248 --> 00:53:46,510 Please? 1181 00:53:46,583 --> 00:53:49,017 Hey, look, I like you people. 1182 00:53:49,085 --> 00:53:51,519 Honest to God, I really do. 1183 00:53:51,588 --> 00:53:54,523 Hey, man, get down on your knees. 1184 00:53:54,591 --> 00:53:56,718 Yes, sir. 1185 00:53:56,793 --> 00:53:59,387 You know what I want you to do, 1186 00:53:59,462 --> 00:54:01,089 don’t you? 1187 00:54:01,164 --> 00:54:04,827 And it ain’t praying, cop. 1188 00:54:04,901 --> 00:54:06,528 [Zipper Unzips] 1189 00:54:06,603 --> 00:54:09,171 Heh heh heh! 1190 00:54:09,171 --> 00:54:10,798 No, on the king. 1191 00:54:12,107 --> 00:54:13,369 Oh. Ow! 1192 00:54:13,442 --> 00:54:15,034 We’re back! All right. 1193 00:54:15,110 --> 00:54:17,544 Dope—a—thon ’82. It is still rolling! 1194 00:54:17,613 --> 00:54:19,547 Keep that phone line hot. 1195 00:54:19,615 --> 00:54:21,810 We need your money and pledges. 1196 00:54:21,884 --> 00:54:24,546 Ow! We have a very special guest. 1197 00:54:24,620 --> 00:54:26,986 He’s going to say hi to you. 1198 00:54:27,056 --> 00:54:28,990 Let’s have a big, warm welcome 1199 00:54:29,058 --> 00:54:30,992 For three—time US. Open 1200 00:54:31,060 --> 00:54:32,994 international masturbation champion. 1201 00:54:33,062 --> 00:54:34,996 Here he is—— Harry Palms! 1202 00:54:35,064 --> 00:54:36,497 Ow! Ow! 1203 00:54:36,565 --> 00:54:37,998 Oh! Oh! 1204 00:54:38,067 --> 00:54:41,503 Harry Palms! Let’s have a warm welcome for him. 1205 00:54:41,570 --> 00:54:44,505 Harry, I’m glad to have you on the show. 1206 00:54:44,573 --> 00:54:46,507 Hey, fantastic! 1207 00:54:46,575 --> 00:54:48,065 Ow. 1208 00:54:48,143 --> 00:54:49,906 Ow! Ow! 1209 00:54:49,978 --> 00:54:51,912 Well, that’s quite a grip 1210 00:54:51,980 --> 00:54:53,572 you have there, Harry. 1211 00:54:53,649 --> 00:54:55,913 You’re a graduate of St. Agnes 1212 00:54:55,984 --> 00:54:57,918 All—Boys Catholic High School, 1213 00:54:57,986 --> 00:55:00,648 and you’vejust come back from Russia 1214 00:55:00,722 --> 00:55:03,418 where you competed in the giantjerk, 1215 00:55:03,492 --> 00:55:05,426 the world championships, 1216 00:55:05,494 --> 00:55:08,088 and you came in first and third. 1217 00:55:08,163 --> 00:55:09,425 Fantastic! 1218 00:55:09,498 --> 00:55:11,932 Whoo! Get ahold ofyourself, Harry. 1219 00:55:12,000 --> 00:55:13,433 We’re on TV. 1220 00:55:13,502 --> 00:55:14,969 Ow! 1221 00:55:15,037 --> 00:55:16,163 Yeah. 1222 00:55:16,238 --> 00:55:18,138 Mmm. Good for the skin. 1223 00:55:18,207 --> 00:55:19,640 So anyways...ow! 1224 00:55:19,708 --> 00:55:21,642 Harry, you’ve been an innovator 1225 00:55:21,710 --> 00:55:23,644 in the field ofthumpology. 1226 00:55:23,712 --> 00:55:25,475 You’ve done such things 1227 00:55:25,547 --> 00:55:27,139 as introduce speed shifting, 1228 00:55:27,216 --> 00:55:28,649 around the hump, 1229 00:55:28,717 --> 00:55:30,651 over—the—shoulder boulder holder, 1230 00:55:30,719 --> 00:55:33,654 and this year, a brand—new hold. 1231 00:55:33,722 --> 00:55:34,916 Ow! 1232 00:55:34,990 --> 00:55:37,424 I grab it in both hands 1233 00:55:37,493 --> 00:55:39,927 and beat it against my forehead. 1234 00:55:39,995 --> 00:55:41,929 Fantastic! That’s using your head. 1235 00:55:41,997 --> 00:55:43,430 Ow! 1236 00:55:43,499 --> 00:55:46,434 O.K., well, where do you go from here? 1237 00:55:46,502 --> 00:55:49,437 Well, back to the hotel room to practice. 1238 00:55:49,505 --> 00:55:51,439 Always practicing, huh? 1239 00:55:51,507 --> 00:55:53,099 What’s your next competition? 1240 00:55:53,175 --> 00:55:55,609 Next | go to Hong Kong 1241 00:55:55,677 --> 00:55:58,441 for the "Fist of Fury" tournament. 1242 00:55:58,514 --> 00:56:01,312 We know you’ll be pulling for us. 1243 00:56:01,383 --> 00:56:03,283 All right! Harry Palms! Ow! 1244 00:56:03,352 --> 00:56:05,946 Let’s hear it for him! Ow! 1245 00:56:06,488 --> 00:56:08,456 [ Chong] Hey, man, know what bit 1246 00:56:08,524 --> 00:56:10,719 we haven’t done for years, man? 1247 00:56:13,195 --> 00:56:15,459 where Bruno meets the Invisible Man? 1248 00:56:15,531 --> 00:56:17,965 Well, why don’t we do it 1249 00:56:18,033 --> 00:56:20,797 where you play the samurai warrior, man? 1250 00:56:20,869 --> 00:56:22,461 I’ll be Bruno Hakalugi, 1251 00:56:22,538 --> 00:56:24,972 and we’ll do the wrestling bit. 1252 00:56:25,040 --> 00:56:27,736 Yeah, man, | used to love that bit. 1253 00:56:27,809 --> 00:56:29,902 [Gong Sounds] 1254 00:56:29,978 --> 00:56:31,912 Good evening, wrestling fans, 1255 00:56:31,980 --> 00:56:34,915 and welcome to championship wrestling! 1256 00:56:34,983 --> 00:56:36,917 I’m your host—— jerry Dunphy. 1257 00:56:36,985 --> 00:56:38,418 And with me tonight 1258 00:56:38,487 --> 00:56:40,921 is three—time world heavyweight champion—— 1259 00:56:40,989 --> 00:56:42,422 |ron Mike McGraw! 1260 00:56:42,491 --> 00:56:44,686 Welcome to the show, |ron Mike. 1261 00:56:44,760 --> 00:56:46,625 Thank you very much, jerry. 1262 00:56:46,695 --> 00:56:48,595 We have an excellent card 1263 00:56:48,664 --> 00:56:51,599 on tap for you tonight, ladies and gentlemen, 1264 00:56:51,667 --> 00:56:54,101 featuring the Italian champion Bruno Hakalugi 1265 00:56:54,169 --> 00:56:57,104 and his tag—team partner, japanese Itchy—Scratchy. 1266 00:56:57,172 --> 00:57:00,608 How the boys look to you tonight, Iron Mike? 1267 00:57:00,676 --> 00:57:02,439 Uh, well, the Italian 1268 00:57:02,511 --> 00:57:03,944 looks pretty good. 1269 00:57:04,012 --> 00:57:06,446 A little greasy, but pretty good. 1270 00:57:06,515 --> 00:57:08,107 They both look good. 1271 00:57:08,183 --> 00:57:10,447 Their opponent tonight is none other 1272 00:57:10,519 --> 00:57:12,953 than the world—famous champion from nowhere, 1273 00:57:13,021 --> 00:57:15,182 the Invisible Man! 1274 00:57:15,257 --> 00:57:18,192 What do you think ofthe Invisible Man, 1275 00:57:18,260 --> 00:57:19,454 Iron Mike? 1276 00:57:19,528 --> 00:57:22,292 I haven’t seen too much of him lately. 1277 00:57:22,364 --> 00:57:25,697 In fact, no one has. He’s invisible. 1278 00:57:25,767 --> 00:57:29,396 But I think it’s going to be a good match. 1279 00:57:29,471 --> 00:57:31,496 Well, this tag—team championship 1280 00:57:31,573 --> 00:57:33,905 is certainly showing him no respect. 1281 00:57:33,976 --> 00:57:36,740 They’re not showing him any respect at all, 1282 00:57:36,812 --> 00:57:39,645 but I don’t think the Invisible Man 1283 00:57:39,715 --> 00:57:41,910 is too scared of them either. 1284 00:57:41,984 --> 00:57:46,182 They’re deciding who is going to go in the ring first. 1285 00:57:46,255 --> 00:57:48,416 Yeah, they’re deciding who’s going to... 1286 00:57:48,490 --> 00:57:50,424 go in the ring first. 1287 00:57:50,492 --> 00:57:52,153 That’s right, Iron Mike. 1288 00:57:52,227 --> 00:57:53,751 They’re having a discussion. 1289 00:57:53,829 --> 00:57:55,990 I can’t understand what they’re saying. 1290 00:57:56,064 --> 00:57:57,895 The Invisible Man is ready. 1291 00:57:57,966 --> 00:57:59,934 [Speaking Mockjapanese] 1292 00:58:01,603 --> 00:58:04,595 I think it’s going to be the Italian. 1293 00:58:04,673 --> 00:58:06,607 Thejapanese. No, the Italian! 1294 00:58:06,675 --> 00:58:08,108 [Bell Rings] 1295 00:58:08,176 --> 00:58:11,270 There goes the bell. Here we go. 1296 00:58:11,346 --> 00:58:14,281 Remember, tonight’s bout is a no holds barred, 1297 00:58:14,349 --> 00:58:17,614 no referee, and no paycheck for the loser. 1298 00:58:17,686 --> 00:58:18,778 [Punch] 1299 00:58:18,854 --> 00:58:20,788 A shot out of nowhere. 1300 00:58:20,856 --> 00:58:22,790 Another shot out of nowhere, 1301 00:58:22,858 --> 00:58:24,450 and he’s down already! 1302 00:58:24,526 --> 00:58:27,393 It’s going to be quite a match, huh, Iron Mike? 1303 00:58:27,462 --> 00:58:29,896 It looks like the Italians in trouble. 1304 00:58:29,965 --> 00:58:32,627 Yes. He’s got him in a hammerlock now. 1305 00:58:41,176 --> 00:58:42,575 Ugh! 1306 00:58:50,319 --> 00:58:52,753 And now he’s tagged thejapanese! 1307 00:58:52,821 --> 00:58:55,585 and Itchy—Scratchy into the ring. 1308 00:58:55,657 --> 00:58:57,090 Arggh! 1309 00:58:57,159 --> 00:58:58,592 He’s looking around. 1310 00:58:58,660 --> 00:59:00,787 looHng for a sneak attack. 1311 00:59:04,166 --> 00:59:05,929 [Kick] 1312 00:59:06,001 --> 00:59:08,435 And he’s got a rim shot! 1313 00:59:08,503 --> 00:59:10,266 Ooh! Another rim shot! 1314 00:59:10,339 --> 00:59:12,432 That’s illegal, but there’s no referee, 1315 00:59:12,507 --> 00:59:14,270 so it doesn’t matter. 1316 00:59:26,621 --> 00:59:27,849 [ Crunch ] 1317 00:59:27,923 --> 00:59:29,390 [Roar] 1318 00:59:29,458 --> 00:59:31,722 He bit him. Biting is allowed. 1319 00:59:31,793 --> 00:59:33,727 Oh! Another rim shot. 1320 00:59:38,700 --> 00:59:39,860 [Punch] 1321 00:59:45,474 --> 00:59:47,408 Ah, here comes Bruno Hakalugi 1322 00:59:47,476 --> 00:59:49,910 into the center of the ring. 1323 00:59:49,978 --> 00:59:51,639 What is he doing? 1324 00:59:51,713 --> 00:59:53,647 He’s probably digging for crabs. 1325 00:59:53,715 --> 00:59:55,649 No. Ah! He’s eating garlic! 1326 00:59:55,717 --> 00:59:59,153 He’s going to give him the Garlic Blowjob! 1327 00:59:59,221 --> 01:00:01,155 Oh, thejapanese is down! 1328 01:00:01,223 --> 01:00:04,158 And now he’s got the invisible man 1329 01:00:04,226 --> 01:00:05,921 in a knee drop. 1330 01:00:14,002 --> 01:00:15,936 Oh, into the corner yet! 1331 01:00:16,004 --> 01:00:19,440 You can hear it all the way over here! 1332 01:00:19,508 --> 01:00:21,942 That’s tough on the back there. 1333 01:00:23,745 --> 01:00:26,873 Oh, no. Oh, oh, oh. Look at that one. 1334 01:00:26,948 --> 01:00:29,883 He’s got him in the got—ya! 1335 01:00:29,951 --> 01:00:32,613 He’s got his hands full now! 1336 01:00:32,687 --> 01:00:35,383 He’s really stretching. 1337 01:00:35,457 --> 01:00:37,391 Oh, and he slipped out! 1338 01:00:37,459 --> 01:00:40,394 Must have been the grease on his hands. 1339 01:00:40,462 --> 01:00:43,397 There’s a lot of slack in them now. 1340 01:00:43,465 --> 01:00:44,898 And another stretch! 1341 01:00:44,966 --> 01:00:48,402 And now over his shoulder for the Volga Boatman! 1342 01:00:48,470 --> 01:00:50,904 There he goes marching to Moscow! 1343 01:00:50,972 --> 01:00:52,906 J Dunh dunh dunh dunh dunh J 1344 01:00:52,974 --> 01:00:54,908 J Dunh dunh dunh dunh JJ 1345 01:00:58,480 --> 01:01:01,415 Itchy—Scratchy’s up—— and he’s down now! 1346 01:01:01,483 --> 01:01:03,917 Didn’t see where he was going, 1347 01:01:05,487 --> 01:01:07,921 You can’t see invisible balls. 1348 01:01:07,989 --> 01:01:09,422 That’s right. 1349 01:01:09,491 --> 01:01:10,583 [Boing] 1350 01:01:22,671 --> 01:01:23,763 [Boing] 1351 01:01:23,839 --> 01:01:24,931 [Boing] 1352 01:01:30,011 --> 01:01:31,444 [Boing Boing] 1353 01:01:31,513 --> 01:01:34,107 He’s got him in the Bass—Man! 1354 01:01:34,182 --> 01:01:36,616 That’s not an orthodox wrestling hold, 1355 01:01:36,685 --> 01:01:38,118 by the way. 1356 01:01:38,186 --> 01:01:40,620 Here we go into Double Dutch! 1357 01:01:42,023 --> 01:01:44,457 Listen to them hit the ground there. 1358 01:01:48,029 --> 01:01:49,963 I’d say the Invisible Man’s 1359 01:01:50,031 --> 01:01:51,965 in a lot of trouble. 1360 01:01:52,033 --> 01:01:55,059 Right now he looks pretty tied up. 1361 01:01:55,136 --> 01:01:57,969 He’ll get out of it, I bet you. 1362 01:01:58,039 --> 01:01:59,472 Oh! 1363 01:01:59,541 --> 01:02:01,475 There goes Hakalugi! 1364 01:02:01,543 --> 01:02:04,979 Uh—uh! He’s going to make a Four—Corner Run! 1365 01:02:05,046 --> 01:02:07,981 That really hurts, let me tell you. 1366 01:02:08,049 --> 01:02:10,984 I remember that happened to me once. 1367 01:02:12,554 --> 01:02:14,488 And there goes Hakalugi. 1368 01:02:14,556 --> 01:02:17,491 And Hakalugi is down! Oh, my gosh! 1369 01:02:17,559 --> 01:02:19,686 And there goes Itchy—Scratchy! 1370 01:02:19,761 --> 01:02:21,490 And the Invisible Man wins! 1371 01:02:21,563 --> 01:02:23,258 Those balls are pretty dangerous 1372 01:02:23,331 --> 01:02:24,855 fiapping around like that. 1373 01:02:24,933 --> 01:02:27,197 Aah! 1374 01:02:45,153 --> 01:02:46,586 [ Chong] Hey, Cheech. 1375 01:02:46,655 --> 01:02:49,852 How can you stay in there that long, man? 1376 01:02:49,925 --> 01:02:52,587 You know one bit we got to do? 1377 01:02:52,661 --> 01:02:55,196 Alice Bowie at a sex club. 1378 01:02:55,196 --> 01:02:58,131 JAmsterdam, I like it in Amsterdam J 1379 01:02:58,199 --> 01:03:02,533 J I’m so glad we came to Amsterdam J 1380 01:03:02,603 --> 01:03:05,766 J Amsterdam, they smoke hash in the street J 1381 01:03:05,840 --> 01:03:08,035 JAnd they ride bicycles all overJ 1382 01:03:08,109 --> 01:03:10,270 J And they got everything that’s cool in here J 1383 01:03:10,344 --> 01:03:13,313 J They got a lot ofdikes in Amsterdam J 1384 01:03:13,381 --> 01:03:15,713 JAnd they got the shit all over J 1385 01:03:15,783 --> 01:03:18,877 J I’m so glad we came to Amsterdam J 1386 01:03:18,953 --> 01:03:21,478 J Even though they don’t know who we are J 1387 01:03:21,556 --> 01:03:22,921 J In Amsterdam J 1388 01:03:22,990 --> 01:03:25,424 J Oh—wah—wah—wah, I like Amsterdam J 1389 01:03:25,493 --> 01:03:28,087 J I like it better than America J 1390 01:03:28,162 --> 01:03:30,096 J Even though they don’t know J 1391 01:03:30,164 --> 01:03:32,325 J They never seen our movies here J 1392 01:03:32,400 --> 01:03:33,992 J In Amsterdam JJ 1393 01:03:34,068 --> 01:03:36,502 I am absolutely ruined, you know? 1394 01:03:36,571 --> 01:03:39,506 |——|just got a phone call 1395 01:03:39,574 --> 01:03:42,509 that Mr. Burt Reynolds is definitely not coming. 1396 01:03:42,577 --> 01:03:45,512 You scared the shit out of me, man. 1397 01:03:45,580 --> 01:03:47,514 Because he is in Florida, 1398 01:03:47,582 --> 01:03:50,517 and Miss Dolly Parton is in the hospital. 1399 01:03:50,585 --> 01:03:52,519 Oh, wow! They’re not coming? 1400 01:03:52,587 --> 01:03:54,350 For definite? For sure? 1401 01:03:54,422 --> 01:03:55,855 They phoned me. 1402 01:03:55,923 --> 01:03:57,515 Oh, that’s too bad. 1403 01:03:57,592 --> 01:03:59,025 Oh, that’s OK. 1404 01:03:59,093 --> 01:04:01,027 Who needs Burt Reynolds, man? 1405 01:04:01,095 --> 01:04:02,858 Hey, man, were here. 1406 01:04:02,930 --> 01:04:05,865 What do you got to worry about, man? 1407 01:04:05,933 --> 01:04:08,868 We’re going to do a great show, man. 1408 01:04:08,936 --> 01:04:10,528 Don’t worry about nothing. 1409 01:04:10,605 --> 01:04:13,540 You don’t need Burt Reynolds or Dolly Parton. 1410 01:04:13,608 --> 01:04:15,200 I lost my reputation. 1411 01:04:15,276 --> 01:04:17,039 I have no money. 1412 01:04:17,111 --> 01:04:19,045 Who needs material possessions, man? 1413 01:04:19,113 --> 01:04:20,705 Hey, man. Real tears. 1414 01:04:20,781 --> 01:04:23,215 Oh, hey, man. Take it easy. 1415 01:04:23,284 --> 01:04:25,218 Here, man. Dry your eyes. 1416 01:04:25,286 --> 01:04:28,153 I hate to see a grown man cry. 1417 01:04:28,222 --> 01:04:29,814 Take it easy, man. 1418 01:04:29,891 --> 01:04:31,825 This worry about money, man, 1419 01:04:31,893 --> 01:04:35,329 will make you grow old before your time, man. 1420 01:04:35,396 --> 01:04:37,830 I can’t go around in Amsterdam. 1421 01:04:37,899 --> 01:04:40,834 You got nothing to worry about, man. 1422 01:04:40,902 --> 01:04:43,837 We’re going to do a great show. 1423 01:04:43,905 --> 01:04:45,839 It’ll be all right, man. 1424 01:04:45,907 --> 01:04:47,340 All right. 1425 01:04:47,408 --> 01:04:50,343 Stop him, man! He’s going tojump! 1426 01:04:50,411 --> 01:04:52,003 I got to reload! 1427 01:04:52,079 --> 01:04:54,513 Hey! Come on. Come on, man. 1428 01:04:54,582 --> 01:04:57,016 Come on. Let go. Let go. 1429 01:04:57,084 --> 01:04:58,517 Come on, man. 1430 01:05:00,588 --> 01:05:03,421 O.K. Let him go! 1431 01:05:03,491 --> 01:05:06,858 Hey, man. Look how far down it is. 1432 01:05:06,928 --> 01:05:10,022 Ahhh... 1433 01:05:10,097 --> 01:05:11,530 Boom! 1434 01:05:11,599 --> 01:05:14,033 You don’t want tojump, man. 1435 01:05:14,101 --> 01:05:15,693 You’ll end up spaghetti. 1436 01:05:15,770 --> 01:05:18,534 I’ll have to scrape you off the driveway. 1437 01:05:18,606 --> 01:05:20,699 You got nothing to worry about. 1438 01:05:20,775 --> 01:05:23,039 My son is 9, you know, 1439 01:05:23,110 --> 01:05:25,044 and my daughter is only... 1440 01:05:25,112 --> 01:05:27,478 Steven Spielberg’s a personal friend ofmine. 1441 01:05:27,548 --> 01:05:29,482 I’ll give him a call. 1442 01:05:29,550 --> 01:05:32,485 We have lunch at "I Love Sushi" in Malibu 1443 01:05:32,553 --> 01:05:34,487 all the time, man. 1444 01:05:34,555 --> 01:05:36,489 We’ll have E.T. over here. 1445 01:05:36,557 --> 01:05:38,491 You’ll be a big success. 1446 01:05:38,559 --> 01:05:40,993 Hey, look. Have a watch, man. 1447 01:05:41,062 --> 01:05:42,996 That looks good on you. 1448 01:05:43,064 --> 01:05:45,498 All right, man. That looks slick. 1449 01:05:45,566 --> 01:05:48,501 You want to give me a watch? 1450 01:05:48,569 --> 01:05:51,003 Here’s one for your old lady, too. 1451 01:05:51,072 --> 01:05:53,006 And that’s for my wife? 1452 01:05:53,074 --> 01:05:55,008 |——|——| really... 1453 01:05:55,076 --> 01:05:57,010 Hey, don’t worry about nothing. 1454 01:05:57,078 --> 01:05:58,670 I really appreciate it. 1455 01:05:58,746 --> 01:06:00,680 Don’t worry about nothing, man. 1456 01:06:00,748 --> 01:06:02,682 just show up at the theater. 1457 01:06:02,750 --> 01:06:04,684 You’re going to see something 1458 01:06:04,752 --> 01:06:07,016 you never saw before, man. 1459 01:06:07,088 --> 01:06:09,022 Yeah, but, you know... 1460 01:06:09,090 --> 01:06:12,025 I have to think of my reputation. 1461 01:06:12,093 --> 01:06:13,526 Don’t worry, man. 1462 01:06:13,594 --> 01:06:15,528 It’ll be cool in Amsterdam. 1463 01:06:15,596 --> 01:06:18,531 Thank you very much for the watches. 1464 01:06:18,599 --> 01:06:20,260 Everything will be cool. 1465 01:06:20,334 --> 01:06:22,768 just go home and relax, man. 1466 01:06:22,837 --> 01:06:25,772 Take a halfa lude or something. 1467 01:06:25,840 --> 01:06:28,638 Be cool. We’ll see you at the theater. 1468 01:06:28,709 --> 01:06:30,301 J Amsterdam J 1469 01:06:30,378 --> 01:06:33,472 JThis guy’s gonna lose his ass in Amsterdam JJ 1470 01:06:33,547 --> 01:06:36,482 Oh, that’s a good—looking watch, man. 1471 01:06:36,550 --> 01:06:38,984 Hey, thanks a lot, brother. 1472 01:06:39,053 --> 01:06:41,487 All right! Look at that sucker. 1473 01:06:41,555 --> 01:06:44,490 Hey, man, you think this is too much 1474 01:06:44,558 --> 01:06:46,355 with this outfit, man? 1475 01:06:46,427 --> 01:06:49,191 [Crowd Murmuring] 1476 01:06:49,263 --> 01:06:50,992 l adies and gentlemen, 1477 01:06:51,065 --> 01:06:55,001 Will you please welcome Burt Reynolds and Dolly Parton! 1478 01:07:05,579 --> 01:07:07,171 [Microphone Feedback] 1479 01:07:08,949 --> 01:07:12,009 Uh, I think there’s been a mistake. 1480 01:07:15,356 --> 01:07:16,789 Thank you. 1481 01:07:16,857 --> 01:07:19,792 Uh, we’re not, uh, Burt and Dolly, man. 1482 01:07:19,860 --> 01:07:22,294 Like, uh, we’re Cheech & Chong. 1483 01:07:22,363 --> 01:07:25,799 We’re going to do a show for you anyway, 1484 01:07:25,866 --> 01:07:27,197 and, uh... 1485 01:07:27,268 --> 01:07:28,735 [Microphone Feedback] 1486 01:07:28,803 --> 01:07:32,739 so we want to start off with a dude, man, 1487 01:07:32,807 --> 01:07:37,744 that had his arm blown off during the war by a bomb. 1488 01:07:37,812 --> 01:07:40,747 He’s real sensitive about it, too, man, 1489 01:07:40,815 --> 01:07:44,251 so let’s really give him a nice hand, O.K.? 1490 01:07:44,318 --> 01:07:46,752 Let’s hear it for Limey Bitters! 1491 01:07:46,821 --> 01:07:48,755 Come on out here, man! 1492 01:07:48,823 --> 01:07:50,757 Come on out here, man. 1493 01:07:57,565 --> 01:07:59,999 Yeah, see his arm, man? 1494 01:08:06,574 --> 01:08:09,509 Well, thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen. 1495 01:08:09,577 --> 01:08:12,512 It gives me great pleasure to be here tonight, 1496 01:08:12,580 --> 01:08:15,344 and I’d like to perform for you all... 1497 01:08:15,416 --> 01:08:16,849 [Microphone Feedback] 1498 01:08:16,917 --> 01:08:18,612 an unnatural act. 1499 01:08:18,686 --> 01:08:20,017 Hello. Hey, hello. 1500 01:08:20,087 --> 01:08:22,851 Hey, listen, man. Turn those mikes down. 1501 01:08:22,923 --> 01:08:24,857 Can’t you hear them, man? 1502 01:08:24,925 --> 01:08:26,290 They’re feeding back. 1503 01:08:26,360 --> 01:08:27,793 Turn them down. 1504 01:08:27,862 --> 01:08:29,955 And listen, don’t black out. 1505 01:08:30,030 --> 01:08:33,966 No, don’t black out until we tell you to, man. 1506 01:08:34,034 --> 01:08:37,470 Don’t mess with anything. just leave it as they are. 1507 01:08:37,538 --> 01:08:39,972 Don’t——Don’t tell all those fil... 1508 01:08:40,040 --> 01:08:42,474 There are a lot of important people. 1509 01:08:42,543 --> 01:08:44,477 They even expect the queen, 1510 01:08:44,545 --> 01:08:46,979 all the people from secret service. 1511 01:08:47,047 --> 01:08:49,982 don’t use the word "bums," you know, 1512 01:08:50,050 --> 01:08:52,143 and don’t use those languages. 1513 01:08:52,219 --> 01:08:53,652 [ Laughter] 1514 01:08:53,721 --> 01:08:55,484 Thank you. 1515 01:08:55,556 --> 01:08:59,492 I know what a lot ofyou people out there think. 1516 01:08:59,560 --> 01:09:02,996 A lot ofyou people out there think, "well..." 1517 01:09:03,063 --> 01:09:04,655 [ Cheering] 1518 01:09:04,732 --> 01:09:08,998 "just what kind of act could this be?" 1519 01:09:09,069 --> 01:09:10,502 Well... 1520 01:09:10,571 --> 01:09:14,007 let me tell you, ladies and gentlemen, 1521 01:09:14,074 --> 01:09:17,840 that the act ofwhich I speak 1522 01:09:17,912 --> 01:09:19,504 is that I... 1523 01:09:19,580 --> 01:09:22,515 am the only person in the world 1524 01:09:22,583 --> 01:09:26,952 what can play this here trumpet out his nose. 1525 01:09:27,021 --> 01:09:28,454 That’s right. 1526 01:09:28,522 --> 01:09:30,456 And not only that, 1527 01:09:30,524 --> 01:09:34,927 I will make this here trumpet sound like a slide trombone. 1528 01:09:34,995 --> 01:09:38,089 All right. Thank you very much. 1529 01:09:38,165 --> 01:09:41,259 Now, I would like to play a tune 1530 01:09:41,335 --> 01:09:45,294 Called Nobody Knows About Me Cares, 1531 01:09:45,372 --> 01:09:47,806 And Nobody Cares About Me Nose... 1532 01:09:47,875 --> 01:09:50,173 Rag. 1533 01:09:50,244 --> 01:09:53,475 Out me nose... 1534 01:09:53,547 --> 01:09:55,481 or proboscis. Thank you very much. 1535 01:09:55,549 --> 01:09:56,982 Ahem! 1536 01:09:57,051 --> 01:09:58,484 Here we go. 1537 01:10:04,058 --> 01:10:05,491 [Blows Nose] 1538 01:10:08,562 --> 01:10:11,497 Had a bit ofa greenie stuck there. 1539 01:10:11,565 --> 01:10:13,499 All right. Here we go. 1540 01:10:13,567 --> 01:10:16,161 Ahem. 1541 01:10:16,237 --> 01:10:18,762 [Nasally Imitating ATrombone] 1542 01:10:25,446 --> 01:10:27,437 [Cheering And Applause] 1543 01:10:33,020 --> 01:10:34,954 [Rhythmical Clapping] 1544 01:10:48,702 --> 01:10:49,794 [Gasp] 1545 01:10:51,372 --> 01:10:52,464 [Gasp] 1546 01:10:53,707 --> 01:10:54,799 [Gasp] 1547 01:10:56,377 --> 01:10:57,469 [Gasp] 1548 01:10:58,712 --> 01:11:00,976 Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen! 1549 01:11:01,048 --> 01:11:03,482 Let’s hear it for Limey Bitters! 1550 01:11:03,551 --> 01:11:05,485 This is a great town. 1551 01:11:05,553 --> 01:11:08,488 People think we come here just for the drugs, 1552 01:11:08,556 --> 01:11:09,989 but that’s true. 1553 01:11:10,057 --> 01:11:12,491 [Laughter And Applause] 1554 01:11:14,662 --> 01:11:16,152 Hey, this theater’s nice. 1555 01:11:16,230 --> 01:11:19,495 I don’t think they want you to smoke, so light up. 1556 01:11:19,567 --> 01:11:21,501 Ladies and gentlemen, the astronaut. 1557 01:11:21,569 --> 01:11:22,831 [Applause] 1558 01:11:28,609 --> 01:11:31,510 [Theme From 2007: A Space Odyssey Playing ] 1559 01:12:00,107 --> 01:12:02,041 [Engines Ignite] 1560 01:12:05,112 --> 01:12:06,204 Eight... 1561 01:12:06,280 --> 01:12:07,372 SEVEN... 1562 01:12:07,448 --> 01:12:08,540 siX... 1563 01:12:08,616 --> 01:12:09,708 five... 1564 01:12:09,783 --> 01:12:11,045 four.. 1565 01:12:11,118 --> 01:12:12,551 three... 1566 01:12:12,620 --> 01:12:14,053 I‘WO... 1567 01:12:14,121 --> 01:12:15,554 0/78... 1568 01:12:15,623 --> 01:12:17,056 ZEI'O. 1569 01:12:17,124 --> 01:12:19,058 [Engines Roar] 1570 01:12:37,578 --> 01:12:39,512 [Cheering And Applause] 1571 01:12:44,585 --> 01:12:48,021 [Indistinct Whispering] 1572 01:12:48,088 --> 01:12:51,524 [Cheech] Uh, donkey smell. Donkey smell. 1573 01:12:51,592 --> 01:12:56,029 Right now, we’d like to take you to the park. 1574 01:12:56,096 --> 01:12:58,257 Shh! 1575 01:12:58,332 --> 01:13:01,699 Oh, gee, look at all these goddamn pigeons. 1576 01:13:04,338 --> 01:13:08,035 Come on. Here, chick, chick, chick, chick, chick. 1577 01:13:08,108 --> 01:13:11,043 Come here. I got some popcorn for you. 1578 01:13:11,111 --> 01:13:13,545 There you go. 1579 01:13:13,614 --> 01:13:16,549 Oh, gee, look at that little guy. 1580 01:13:42,576 --> 01:13:44,510 Hey, uh, I don’t want 1581 01:13:44,578 --> 01:13:46,512 to get personal or anything, 1582 01:13:46,580 --> 01:13:50,607 but, uh...did you shit your pants? 1583 01:13:50,684 --> 01:13:52,083 What? 1584 01:13:52,152 --> 01:13:55,087 I said, did you shityour pants? 1585 01:13:58,659 --> 01:14:01,093 Yeah, I shit my pants, man. 1586 01:14:01,161 --> 01:14:04,096 Why the hell don’t you go home 1587 01:14:04,164 --> 01:14:06,598 and change them, for Christ’s sake? 1588 01:14:06,667 --> 01:14:09,101 Hell, I ain’t done yet, man. 1589 01:14:09,169 --> 01:14:11,103 I still got another week. 1590 01:14:11,171 --> 01:14:13,105 Hey, man, I like you. 1591 01:14:13,173 --> 01:14:14,970 You’re cool, man. 1592 01:14:15,042 --> 01:14:18,603 Take your goddamn hands off me! 1593 01:14:18,679 --> 01:14:21,341 [Mumbling] 1594 01:14:21,415 --> 01:14:24,111 Was that old—man talk, man? 1595 01:14:24,184 --> 01:14:26,049 You know, you should have 1596 01:14:26,120 --> 01:14:29,055 a lot more respect for me than that, 1597 01:14:29,123 --> 01:14:30,556 you know that? 1598 01:14:30,624 --> 01:14:34,060 Christ, for all you know, I could be your daddy. 1599 01:14:34,128 --> 01:14:35,561 Shit! 1600 01:14:37,631 --> 01:14:40,065 You could be my daddy? 1601 01:14:40,134 --> 01:14:42,568 Sure. I used to fuck buffaloes. 1602 01:14:42,636 --> 01:14:44,570 [Laughter And Cheering] 1603 01:14:55,149 --> 01:14:57,583 And byjeez, I’ll tell you, 1604 01:14:57,651 --> 01:15:00,085 you look like your mamma, too. 1605 01:15:04,658 --> 01:15:06,091 Man, don’t say nothing 1606 01:15:06,160 --> 01:15:07,821 about my mamma, man. 1607 01:15:09,396 --> 01:15:12,593 Hey, you want to play games, funny bunny? 1608 01:15:12,666 --> 01:15:15,829 Hey, old man, want to play games? 1609 01:15:15,903 --> 01:15:17,837 How about race car driver? 1610 01:15:17,905 --> 01:15:19,099 Vroom vroom! 1611 01:15:19,173 --> 01:15:21,107 You take off, byjeez, 1612 01:15:21,175 --> 01:15:23,609 or I’ll kickyou in the balls. 1613 01:15:25,679 --> 01:15:29,046 You’re going to kick me in the balls, man? 1614 01:15:29,116 --> 01:15:31,846 Hey, go ahead, man. Come on. Come on. 1615 01:15:31,919 --> 01:15:33,887 Come on. Free shot, man! 1616 01:15:33,954 --> 01:15:35,387 Come on. 1617 01:15:39,626 --> 01:15:43,562 You don’t give a guy much ofa target, do you? 1618 01:15:49,136 --> 01:15:52,071 That does it. Now I’m going to kill you! 1619 01:15:52,139 --> 01:15:55,575 Byjesus, now take off, you son ofa bitch. 1620 01:15:55,642 --> 01:15:58,668 Come on. I’ll hit you with the chair. 1621 01:16:01,348 --> 01:16:02,747 Oh, God! 1622 01:16:10,657 --> 01:16:12,591 Hey, what you doing, man? 1623 01:16:12,659 --> 01:16:14,593 Come on. Let’s go. 1624 01:16:14,661 --> 01:16:16,094 Hey, one hand. 1625 01:16:17,664 --> 01:16:20,098 Hey, I’m going to take your wallet, man. 1626 01:16:22,669 --> 01:16:24,603 Hey, come on, man. Let’s go. 1627 01:16:28,108 --> 01:16:29,541 Hey! 1628 01:16:31,612 --> 01:16:33,045 Hey. 1629 01:16:34,615 --> 01:16:36,776 Hey, quit fucking around, man. 1630 01:16:40,120 --> 01:16:41,212 Boo! 1631 01:16:43,123 --> 01:16:44,556 Hey, dude. 1632 01:16:52,132 --> 01:16:54,066 OK, I’m sorry, man. 1633 01:17:00,641 --> 01:17:03,075 Hey, man, what are you doing? 1634 01:17:03,143 --> 01:17:05,577 I didn’t even touch you, man. 1635 01:17:05,646 --> 01:17:07,580 I didn’t even touch him! 1636 01:17:09,149 --> 01:17:13,085 Hey, |——| was only playing with you, man. 1637 01:17:13,153 --> 01:17:15,587 Hey, man, I’m on parole, man. 1638 01:17:17,658 --> 01:17:19,091 Shit. 1639 01:17:21,662 --> 01:17:23,596 Hey, come on, man. 1640 01:17:23,664 --> 01:17:26,030 Hey, I said I was sorry. 1641 01:17:27,601 --> 01:17:29,034 Hey, dude. 1642 01:17:30,604 --> 01:17:32,037 Hey, old dude. 1643 01:17:34,107 --> 01:17:36,541 Oh, shit. Goddamn, man. 1644 01:17:38,612 --> 01:17:40,273 Fuck, man. 1645 01:17:40,347 --> 01:17:43,043 Hey, I’m sorry. Goddamn, I’m sorry, man. 1646 01:17:45,118 --> 01:17:47,552 Scared the shit out ofyou that time. 1647 01:17:47,621 --> 01:17:49,555 Didn’t I, you little fuck? 1648 01:17:49,623 --> 01:17:51,386 [Cheering And Applause] 1649 01:18:04,972 --> 01:18:07,907 Hey, Margaret, where the hell are you? 1650 01:18:10,644 --> 01:18:13,579 Come on out ofthat goddamn toilet 1651 01:18:13,647 --> 01:18:16,582 and get over here, for christ’s sake. 1652 01:18:16,650 --> 01:18:19,585 We’re going to see a real live sex act, 1653 01:18:19,653 --> 01:18:22,087 right on the goddamn stage here. 1654 01:18:22,155 --> 01:18:25,090 Christ, I never seen a live sex act 1655 01:18:25,158 --> 01:18:28,025 for about 12 years, for Christ’s sake. 1656 01:18:28,095 --> 01:18:31,030 It cost me a bundle that time, too. 1657 01:18:31,098 --> 01:18:34,534 Margaret, what the hell you doing in that toilet? 1658 01:18:34,601 --> 01:18:36,592 Scuba diving? 1659 01:18:36,670 --> 01:18:39,036 Come on out here, for Christ’s sake. 1660 01:18:39,106 --> 01:18:40,539 Come on, now. 1661 01:18:40,607 --> 01:18:41,869 Come on. 1662 01:18:41,942 --> 01:18:43,876 You might learn something here. 1663 01:18:43,944 --> 01:18:46,538 Come on. Never mind those assholes. 1664 01:18:46,613 --> 01:18:48,877 Come on. It’s OK. 1665 01:18:51,118 --> 01:18:53,052 Where the hell you been? 1666 01:18:53,120 --> 01:18:55,054 You don’t want to watch this? 1667 01:18:55,122 --> 01:18:57,056 Come on, now, Margaret. 1668 01:18:57,124 --> 01:18:59,558 I took that goddamn boat tour. 1669 01:18:59,626 --> 01:19:02,060 Christ, ifI see another goddamn windmill, 1670 01:19:02,129 --> 01:19:04,063 I’ll puke. 1671 01:19:04,131 --> 01:19:05,564 Now, come on. 1672 01:19:05,632 --> 01:19:08,567 We’re going to see a live goddamn sex act. 1673 01:19:08,635 --> 01:19:11,570 just sit your ass down here and shut up. 1674 01:19:11,638 --> 01:19:14,072 We’ve been here 12 goddamn days, 1675 01:19:14,141 --> 01:19:17,577 and this is the first bit of excitement I’ve had. 1676 01:19:17,644 --> 01:19:19,578 Come on. Let’s get this—— 1677 01:19:19,646 --> 01:19:21,580 What’s the matter with you? 1678 01:19:21,648 --> 01:19:23,582 There’s nothing on that Goddamn seat. 1679 01:19:27,587 --> 01:19:30,522 What the hell is that, anyway? 1680 01:19:30,590 --> 01:19:33,024 Feels like silly putty, don’t it? 1681 01:19:38,598 --> 01:19:41,032 I don’t know. Sit down, Margaret. 1682 01:19:41,101 --> 01:19:44,036 Let’s get this show on the road. 1683 01:19:44,104 --> 01:19:46,538 What the hell you waiting for? 1684 01:19:46,606 --> 01:19:49,040 It’s a live Goddamn sex act. 1685 01:19:49,109 --> 01:19:51,543 Oh, Christ, I hope that’s not the star. 1686 01:19:51,611 --> 01:19:54,045 Holyjesus. She’s so goddamn old, 1687 01:19:54,114 --> 01:19:56,548 she’s got stretch marks on her mouth, 1688 01:19:56,616 --> 01:19:58,049 for Christ’s sake. 1689 01:20:00,620 --> 01:20:03,714 Hey! She looks like your goddamn sister Ethel. 1690 01:20:06,126 --> 01:20:08,560 That is goddamn Ethel! 1691 01:20:08,628 --> 01:20:10,562 Hey, Ethel, over here! 1692 01:20:12,132 --> 01:20:15,067 She’s trying to ignore us, for Christ’s sake. 1693 01:20:15,135 --> 01:20:17,797 Oh, she’s taking off her clothes. 1694 01:20:19,139 --> 01:20:20,800 Nope, that ain’t Ethel. 1695 01:20:25,645 --> 01:20:29,513 I don’t think it’s Ethel. uh... 1696 01:20:29,583 --> 01:20:32,518 Holy Christ, lady. Put it back on. Christ. 1697 01:20:32,586 --> 01:20:35,419 You’re going to scare someone with that body. 1698 01:20:35,489 --> 01:20:38,515 look at her tits, for Christ’s sake. 1699 01:20:38,592 --> 01:20:41,527 Look like oranges in a pair of socks. 1700 01:20:44,097 --> 01:20:47,032 Look out! You’re going to trip on them, lady. 1701 01:20:49,102 --> 01:20:50,535 Christ almighty. 1702 01:20:50,604 --> 01:20:53,539 Why doesn’t she take off her panties? 1703 01:20:53,607 --> 01:20:56,041 Oh, she’s got them off. Oh. 1704 01:21:00,113 --> 01:21:03,048 What the hell kind of haircut is that, 1705 01:21:03,116 --> 01:21:05,050 for Christ’s sake? 1706 01:21:05,118 --> 01:21:07,552 Looks like someone’s initials there. 1707 01:21:10,123 --> 01:21:12,557 Christ almighty. 1708 01:21:12,626 --> 01:21:15,561 Oh, Christ, now she’s showing it to us. 1709 01:21:15,629 --> 01:21:17,563 Oh, for Christ’s sake. 1710 01:21:17,631 --> 01:21:20,065 Christ, I don’t want to see it 1711 01:21:20,133 --> 01:21:22,567 that close, lady, for Christ’s sake. 1712 01:21:22,636 --> 01:21:25,571 Looks like the Holland tunnel there, don’t it? 1713 01:21:25,639 --> 01:21:27,573 Look, it’s doing impressions, Margaret! 1714 01:21:27,641 --> 01:21:29,074 Look at that! 1715 01:21:30,644 --> 01:21:32,077 Margaret, look. 1716 01:21:32,145 --> 01:21:34,579 There’s a deviled egg sandwich. Right there. 1717 01:21:38,151 --> 01:21:39,914 That’s goddamn funny, Margaret. 1718 01:21:39,986 --> 01:21:41,578 Come here. Sit down. 1719 01:21:41,655 --> 01:21:43,088 Sit down, Margaret. 1720 01:21:43,156 --> 01:21:46,592 What the hell is she going to do with that Coke bottle? 1721 01:21:48,161 --> 01:21:50,254 Holyjesus. 1722 01:21:52,165 --> 01:21:55,601 You don’t suppose she’s got an opener up there, do you? 1723 01:22:01,174 --> 01:22:03,438 Hey, the goddamn bottle disappeared! 1724 01:22:05,679 --> 01:22:07,613 No deposit, I guess, huh? 1725 01:22:10,684 --> 01:22:14,620 There it is! Look at that pop out of there. 1726 01:22:14,688 --> 01:22:17,122 She shot that bottle clear across the room, 1727 01:22:17,190 --> 01:22:18,623 for Christ’s sake. 1728 01:22:18,692 --> 01:22:20,626 And it’s open! Margaret, look! 1729 01:22:23,029 --> 01:22:25,964 My God, there’s a goddamn Houdini up there. 1730 01:22:28,134 --> 01:22:31,570 Now, what’s she going to do with those grapes now? 1731 01:22:31,638 --> 01:22:33,071 Nah, she—— 1732 01:22:33,139 --> 01:22:34,572 Holyjesus. 1733 01:22:38,144 --> 01:22:40,078 She’s stuffing them—— 1734 01:22:40,146 --> 01:22:42,080 Oh, for Christ’s sake, lady. 1735 01:22:43,650 --> 01:22:46,084 Why don’t you get a purse or something? 1736 01:22:47,654 --> 01:22:50,088 Goddamn pack rat. Look at that. 1737 01:22:50,156 --> 01:22:52,090 Are you saving them for later? 1738 01:22:52,158 --> 01:22:54,422 What the hell you doing, lady? 1739 01:22:54,494 --> 01:22:57,429 How you going to get them out of there? 1740 01:22:57,497 --> 01:23:00,591 I’m waiting to see—— Oh, here they come! 1741 01:23:00,667 --> 01:23:02,601 Margaret, a goddamnjackpot. 1742 01:23:02,669 --> 01:23:04,102 Look at... 1743 01:23:05,438 --> 01:23:07,872 Margaret, look at that! 1744 01:23:07,941 --> 01:23:09,875 Oh, no, she’s eating them. 1745 01:23:09,943 --> 01:23:11,103 Oh, jeez. 1746 01:23:12,679 --> 01:23:14,613 Oh, God. 1747 01:23:14,681 --> 01:23:17,115 Oh, God. Oh,jeez. 1748 01:23:17,183 --> 01:23:19,617 Hey, ifyou’re that hungry, lady, 1749 01:23:19,686 --> 01:23:21,620 I’ll buy you a hamburger. 1750 01:23:21,688 --> 01:23:24,122 What’s the matter? You getting sick? 1751 01:23:24,190 --> 01:23:25,623 You O.K.? 1752 01:23:25,692 --> 01:23:27,057 You getting sick? 1753 01:23:27,127 --> 01:23:29,561 Put your head between your legs. 1754 01:23:29,629 --> 01:23:32,063 Christ, that might make you sicker. 1755 01:23:32,132 --> 01:23:33,565 Sit up here, Margaret. 1756 01:23:33,633 --> 01:23:35,567 Come on. Sit down. 1757 01:23:35,635 --> 01:23:39,071 Ifit’s going to make you sick, don’t look. 1758 01:23:39,139 --> 01:23:41,073 I’ll tell you when to look. 1759 01:23:41,141 --> 01:23:43,041 Hey, Margaret, look. 1760 01:23:43,109 --> 01:23:46,078 Margaret, look. They brought in a goddamn dog. 1761 01:23:47,647 --> 01:23:50,582 Look at the size of that son ofa bitch. 1762 01:23:50,650 --> 01:23:52,584 I bet that’s the dog 1763 01:23:52,652 --> 01:23:55,086 that’s been shitting all over Amsterdam. 1764 01:23:55,155 --> 01:23:57,089 [Cheering And Applause] 1765 01:23:57,157 --> 01:23:59,682 Holyjesus. 1766 01:24:02,996 --> 01:24:04,588 Ladies and gentlemen, 1767 01:24:04,664 --> 01:24:08,600 we’d like to present to you the dogs, Ralph and Herbie. 1768 01:24:20,513 --> 01:24:23,573 G rr! 1769 01:24:26,019 --> 01:24:28,715 G rr! 1770 01:24:32,692 --> 01:24:34,717 G rr! G rr! 1771 01:24:34,794 --> 01:24:36,125 Yipyipyip! 1772 01:24:42,302 --> 01:24:43,735 G rr! 1773 01:24:43,803 --> 01:24:45,236 Ruff! 1774 01:24:46,806 --> 01:24:47,966 Herbie! 1775 01:24:48,041 --> 01:24:49,235 — Hey! — Hey! 1776 01:24:49,309 --> 01:24:51,243 How the hell are you? 1777 01:24:59,319 --> 01:25:02,755 Hey, you’re looking good, man. 1778 01:25:02,822 --> 01:25:04,756 I hardly recognized you. 1779 01:25:04,824 --> 01:25:07,759 Yeah, I got a new punk cut, man. 1780 01:25:07,827 --> 01:25:09,419 It’s red and orange 1781 01:25:09,496 --> 01:25:11,259 and green and yellow, 1782 01:25:11,331 --> 01:25:13,265 and brown in the center. 1783 01:25:16,336 --> 01:25:19,863 Where you been? I haven’t seen you for so long! 1784 01:25:19,939 --> 01:25:23,602 Oh, my human’s been keeping me locked up, man. 1785 01:25:23,676 --> 01:25:26,543 Yeah, he went off on vacation to London. 1786 01:25:26,613 --> 01:25:29,548 He left me in the room for two weeks. 1787 01:25:29,616 --> 01:25:31,550 I shit in his earphones. 1788 01:25:33,620 --> 01:25:36,555 I ate all his stash, too. 1789 01:25:36,623 --> 01:25:38,056 Hey... 1790 01:25:38,124 --> 01:25:40,058 want to chase some cats? 1791 01:25:40,126 --> 01:25:41,559 Cats? 1792 01:25:41,628 --> 01:25:45,064 Yeah, I could use a little pussy about now. 1793 01:25:45,131 --> 01:25:47,065 Oh, smell that. 1794 01:25:47,133 --> 01:25:48,691 What? 1795 01:25:48,768 --> 01:25:50,065 Ohh. 1796 01:25:50,136 --> 01:25:51,569 Ohh. 1797 01:25:51,638 --> 01:25:53,572 Oh, it’s Fifi. 1798 01:25:56,643 --> 01:25:58,076 Oh, God. 1799 01:25:58,144 --> 01:26:00,078 She gets me so horny, 1800 01:26:00,146 --> 01:26:01,807 I could pole—vault. 1801 01:26:01,881 --> 01:26:04,816 Every time I smell her, man, I go nuts. 1802 01:26:04,884 --> 01:26:06,317 Hey, no! Hey, hey! 1803 01:26:06,386 --> 01:26:08,081 Hey, hey, hey, hey! 1804 01:26:09,656 --> 01:26:11,089 Hey! 1805 01:26:13,159 --> 01:26:15,354 Knock it off, Ralph! 1806 01:26:15,428 --> 01:26:16,588 I’m sorry. 1807 01:26:16,663 --> 01:26:19,097 I don’t know what got into me. 1808 01:26:19,165 --> 01:26:21,599 Yeah, well, I know what got into me! 1809 01:26:24,671 --> 01:26:26,832 just stay in front of me. 1810 01:26:26,906 --> 01:26:28,874 Go ahead. Get me back. 1811 01:26:28,942 --> 01:26:30,534 Get out of here. 1812 01:26:32,112 --> 01:26:35,047 Christ, you been locked up too long, haven’t you? 1813 01:26:35,115 --> 01:26:38,050 Let’s go chase some Fifi, man. Come on. 1814 01:26:38,118 --> 01:26:40,052 I’m horny. 1815 01:26:40,120 --> 01:26:42,054 I got to go poop. 1816 01:26:42,122 --> 01:26:44,056 What? Right now? 1817 01:26:44,124 --> 01:26:47,059 Well, you hit a nerve or something, man. 1818 01:26:47,127 --> 01:26:48,560 Oh, well, shit, 1819 01:26:48,628 --> 01:26:51,563 Well, let’s pick out a good spot for it. 1820 01:26:51,631 --> 01:26:53,565 Oh, God, I can’t wait. 1821 01:26:53,633 --> 01:26:55,567 just do it right here. 1822 01:26:55,635 --> 01:26:58,069 But we’re in the middle of the restaurant. 1823 01:26:58,138 --> 01:26:59,571 Even better! 1824 01:26:59,639 --> 01:27:02,073 Hey, go. I’ll watch out for the waiter. 1825 01:27:30,270 --> 01:27:33,034 Hey, Herbie, here it comes! 1826 01:27:33,106 --> 01:27:36,007 It’s going to be a big one! 1827 01:27:38,945 --> 01:27:40,708 Open wide! 1828 01:27:42,448 --> 01:27:46,043 Oh, God! look at the size of that mother! 1829 01:27:46,119 --> 01:27:47,552 Did I do that? 1830 01:27:47,620 --> 01:27:50,054 God, what do you want to name it? 1831 01:27:50,123 --> 01:27:52,057 Hey, it’s still smoking! 1832 01:27:52,125 --> 01:27:55,060 Oh, I love where you put it, too. 1833 01:27:55,128 --> 01:27:57,062 When the waiter comes out, 1834 01:27:57,130 --> 01:28:00,861 he’s going to skid all the way to the kitchen! 1835 01:28:00,934 --> 01:28:02,561 Thank you very much. 1836 01:28:02,635 --> 01:28:05,832 It’s been a pleasure, a pleasure playing foryou. 1837 01:28:05,905 --> 01:28:07,566 Thank you very much. 1838 01:28:07,640 --> 01:28:09,574 Cheech & Chong/ 1839 01:28:09,642 --> 01:28:11,610 [Cheering And Applause] 1840 01:28:30,597 --> 01:28:33,532 J Still smokin’ J 1841 01:28:33,600 --> 01:28:36,262 JStill tokin’ J 1842 01:28:36,336 --> 01:28:37,769 J Hazel died at 65 J 1843 01:28:37,837 --> 01:28:39,361 J Don’t know why I’m still alive J 1844 01:28:39,439 --> 01:28:42,033 J Smokin’, still smokin’ J 1845 01:28:42,108 --> 01:28:44,702 J Still smokin’ J 1846 01:28:44,777 --> 01:28:47,211 JStill tokin’ J 1847 01:28:47,280 --> 01:28:48,713 J Haven’t got a dime J 1848 01:28:48,781 --> 01:28:50,271 J Havin’ fun and feelin’ fineJ 1849 01:28:50,350 --> 01:28:53,717 J And smokin’, still smokin’ J 1850 01:28:58,958 --> 01:29:02,052 J Still smokin’ J 1851 01:29:02,128 --> 01:29:04,562 J Still smokin’ J 1852 01:29:04,631 --> 01:29:07,566 JSpendin’ all my time in an unemployment line J 1853 01:29:07,634 --> 01:29:10,330 J And smokin’, still smokin’ J 1854 01:29:10,403 --> 01:29:13,395 J Still smokin’ J 1855 01:29:13,473 --> 01:29:15,907 J I’m evenjokin’ J 1856 01:29:15,975 --> 01:29:17,408 J Haven’t got a job J 1857 01:29:17,477 --> 01:29:18,910 J Thank you,jesus, thankyou, God J 1858 01:29:18,978 --> 01:29:21,913 J And smokin’, I’m smokin’ J 1859 01:29:30,089 --> 01:29:32,785 J The doctor and my brother and my mother and my father J 1860 01:29:32,859 --> 01:29:35,521 JAll tell me to quitJ 1861 01:29:35,595 --> 01:29:37,028 Quit! 1862 01:29:37,096 --> 01:29:38,529 J But even though they love me J 1863 01:29:38,598 --> 01:29:40,031 J And they shove me and they bug me J 1864 01:29:40,099 --> 01:29:41,532 J I can’t go for this J 1865 01:29:41,601 --> 01:29:42,693 [Coughing] 1866 01:29:42,769 --> 01:29:43,861 Oh, shit. 1867 01:29:45,772 --> 01:29:48,866 J Still smokin’ J 1868 01:29:48,941 --> 01:29:51,535 J I’m still smokin’ J 1869 01:29:51,611 --> 01:29:54,045 J It’s the only way I can make it through the day J 1870 01:29:54,113 --> 01:29:57,378 J It’s smokin’, still smokin’ J 1871 01:29:57,450 --> 01:30:00,385 J Still smokin’ J 1872 01:30:00,453 --> 01:30:02,216 JYou know I’m smokin’ J 1873 01:30:02,288 --> 01:30:03,721 J Writin’ songs, drinkin’ wine J 1874 01:30:03,790 --> 01:30:05,553 J Gettin’ high and feelin’ fineJ 1875 01:30:05,625 --> 01:30:08,560 J And smokin’, still smokin’ J 1876 01:30:11,130 --> 01:30:14,065 J Still smokin’ J 1877 01:30:17,136 --> 01:30:19,570 J Hey, I’m still smokin’ J 1878 01:30:22,975 --> 01:30:25,068 J I’m still smokin’ JJ 1879 01:30:25,144 --> 01:30:27,510 Ha ha ha ha! 1880 01:30:27,580 --> 01:30:29,014 [Coughing] 1881 01:30:29,014 --> 01:30:30,777 [Coughing] 1882 01:30:30,849 --> 01:30:32,783 Hey, who’s got a smoke? 125278

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