All language subtitles for W1A - 03x01 - Episode 1.RiVER.English.orig.Addic7ed.com

This programme contains some strong language.

Stand by, two. Mix... Cue on two.

The BBC has announced the appointment

of ex-Head of Olympic Deliverance,
Ian Fletcher,

as its new Head of Values.

Time now for the shipping forecast.

Superimpose.

It's Monday morning

and a new week at the BBC's New
Broadcasting House headquarters

somewhere in central London,

as Head of Values Ian Fletcher
arrives in order to begin it.

- Morning.
- Morning. Morning, Will.

Yeah, cool.

So far, at least on the basis
of all the available evidence,

it looks as if everything
is going like clockwork.

First of all, thank you for making
time in your diaries for this.

- I know how busy things are at the moment.
- Yep.

Yes, they certainly are, Ian, yes.

By nine o'clock,

Ian is chairing a special meeting
of the Way Ahead Group,

in his role as someone whose job
it is to steer the organisation

confidently towards whatever
it is that's going to happen next.

But I called this meeting

because I think we're at a critical moment

in the life of this group, and, who knows,

- maybe even in the life of the Corporation.
- Hurrah.

This is the year in which the
BBC's Royal Charter

is up for renewal.

Of course, we know there are
some tough choices coming our way.

- Brilliant.
- Yes, exactly.

Which is what the More Of Less
initiative is about, of course.

-
- Yep.
- Yep.

The fact is, this is about identifying
what we do best

and finding more ways of
doing less of it better.

- Yes.
- Brilliant.
- Yeah, bollocks.

The Charter renewal process gives
the BBC an opportunity

to question everything it does,
and ask the question

whether there's any point
to any of it at all any more.

And with all that in mind,
my suggestion is

that as from today, this becomes
the Renewal Group,

- rather than Way Ahead.
- Right, OK.
- Yes, good.
- Hallelujah.

- Well, no...
- Renewal?
- No, honestly.

- Amen.
- It just focuses the mind, that's all.

I'm sorry, Ian, that is just...

I mean, I feel like opening the window

- and shouting down Regent Street.
- Well, no, please don't.

No, Christ's sake.

Really, it's about resetting
the dial for everyone in the building

and shining a new light on that dial,

or at least shining the old light
but with a new bulb,

so none of us can be in
any doubt where the dial is

or can have any excuse for not
being able to read what it says.

- Yeah.
- Brilliant.

- Blimey.
- Have we got that?

- Got that?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Joyous.

Right, OK, so that's my big speech over.

Shame.

OK, everybody, so welcome to Fun.
Exciting day, exciting times.

Meanwhile, across town,
in the world of what used to be

Perfect Curve, momentous
and very different events are unfolding.

Today I introduce Siobhan Sharpe

as our new joint CEO and partner in Fun.

Yay!

Perfect Curve has been bought

by Dutch-owned multinational
media giant Fun Media,

and today chairman and founder Jens Smit

has flown in to usher in the future.

- So I know Siobhan has stuff
she's going to say... - Yay!

- ..but first I'm going to say a bit about Fun.
- Yay!

So the philosophy of Fun is that
everybody in this building is happy.

This is a happy building because a
happy person is a creative person,

and a creative person is a happy person,

- so that's Fun.
- We love fun.

You are all fun people. You have
good ideas, that's why you're here.

When something good happens,
we should recognise this,

we should be happy.

So what we do at Fun, George
is ready at any time,

that's why he is here.

- Time out. A few minutes,
a silent disco, and we dance
- Cool.

So a lot of people...

# Gold!

- # Always believe in your soul... #
- Yeah.

♪ You're indestructible... ♪

♪ Always believe in... ♪

- OK, so we save this, OK?
- Excuse me?

We maybe save this for later?

OK, so we save this, guys, OK?
Save it maybe for later.

Thanks.

- So a lot of people say there's
more to life than fun. - Sure.

- But here, we don't agree with that.
- Nuh. No way.

- You come in through the door
of this building, OK? - Sure.

- Fun is your life, and your life...
- Sure.

Your life is fun, yes?

Sure. OK? So lots of fun here, guys, OK?

..a black pair of skinny jeans,
know what I mean?

Keep it simple.

Back over at New Broadcasting House,

the newly formed Renewal Group

is already facing its
first-ever live challenge.

This one I like quite a lot.
I like the cut on this.

For me, what this says,
it's understated.

You know what I'm saying?

A Channel 4 documentary

about ex-Premier League footballer
Ryan Chelford,

in which he talks openly
for the first time

about his life as a keen cross-dresser,

has thrown up some sensitive
issues for the BBC.

Now, this one, I've had some times
in this, I have.

If this was a car, right, for me,
this would be a Ferrari.

You put this on,
something's going to happen,

do you know what I'm saying?

The documentary includes allegations

that the BBC rejected Ryan as a pundit

for its flagship football show
Match Of The Day

because they were already
aware of his very-personal other life.

I went for, like, this audition, right?
I went to Manchester.

Like, I saw Alan Shearer in the car park.
I didn't speak to him.

He was on his phone getting
out of his Audi fucking

you know what I'm saying?

So I'm sat in the Match Of The Day
studio and everything. There's me,

and they had these guys, like,
pretend Linekers and that,

sitting in. And they play in this clip of, like,

Stoke v Swansea or whatever.

So, like, Peter Crouch is in the box
and I'm like,

"OK, he's pulled off his man at the back post.

"It's a decent header off of
a quality cross, I admit that,

"but albeit the Swansea defence
has totally switched off.

"I'm sorry, but for me, the guy's,
like, eight foot tall -

"it's not rocket science, do you know
what I'm saying?"

Anyway, so I did that.

Never heard from them again. Not a word.

- Right, OK.
- Right.
- I think that will probably do for the moment.

- Yes.
- Brilliant.
- Brilliant.
- Brilliant.

What I CAN say, guys, is that we
are starting to take

heavy incoming on this in
the press office already.

- Well, yes.
- No.

I mean, obviously the issues
are potentially pretty serious.

- Yes.
- Yes, they are, Ian, yes.

Yes, especially for inclusivity, of course, Lucy.

- Well, yes.
- Yes, exactly, yes.

Honestly, no, bad luck.

- So I spoke to Clive Cook this morning.
- Right?

- Yes, me too, Lucy.
- Right.

- Clive...? ALL:
- Clive Cook.

- Yes, Clive Cook.
- BBC Head of Football.
- Head of BBC Football.

- Yes, no, brilliant.
- Yes, exactly, yes.

- Yes.
- Yep.
- So, anyway, I spoke to him this morning.

- Right, and?
- Well, he...

He's not very pleased, is he, Lucy?

- Not really, no.
- No.

His thing is, the reason they didn't go
for Ryan Chelford on Match Of The Day,

- they didn't know anything about
his private life at the time. - Yes.

- Truth is, he was just no good.
- Right.
- Yes, apparently

- he was too dull.
- Yes.

Too dull for Match Of The Day?

- I know, Neil.
- Jesus.
- I'm just telling you what he said.

Well, but if that's the case, I mean...

Well, obviously we'll need to be careful

about exactly how we phrase it.

Yeah, good luck with that.

But at least on the allegations
he's making there,

- well, at least we've got a pretty
clear answer to them. - Yes.

- Brilliant.
- So that's all good, isn't it?

- Yes, exactly. - Hurrah.

- Obviously I wish I could agree with you, Ian.
- Right.

But I'm sorry, it's not actually that simple,
is it, Lucy?

- Not really, no.
- No, I had a feeling it might not be.

- No.
- Brilliant.

OK, so this will be, like, a really cool new app.

Like a BBC News Forecast app.

A news forecast app?

Meanwhile, back in the land of Fun,

the old Perfect Curve BBC account
team is having its first meeting

with Fun CEO Jens Smit.

So it'll be like the weather forecast,

but with, like, news, but...

- No, but...
- OK, no, I get this.

- But this would be in emojis.
- Emojis.

- Yeah.
- Cool.
- We LOVE emojis. So fun.

They're fun. Yeah.

The team has been joined by
meta genius Michael Chung

from Fun's New York office,

and they've been invited to come up
with ideas for a hello present

from Fun Media to the BBC as one
of their most important clients.

Yeah, each day would be like,
"Today - Italy, smiley face.

"Syria, droopy mouth."

OK.

Maybe Russia would be like... angry face.

- OK. What else?
- Yeah, cool.
- OK, Coco.

- OK, sure?
- Go.
- OK, so in the end, what I came up with

was BBC Bun Time.

BBC Bun Time?

- Cos they're losing Bake Off, right?
- Bummer.

Which was like a national thing.

- We LOVE Mary Berry.
- Yeah.

- Yeah, Mary.
- Yeah, like with her teeth.

This could be, like, a new thing for her,
where celebrities that create,

like, their own version of a BBC bun...

Holy shit.

No, but then the winning bun...

OK, what else?

- OK, Karl.
- Yeah.
- What have you got?

- OK, so this is pretty cool, OK?
- Cool.

- So, like, I went for, like, a walk.
- OK, yes.

It was pretty fun.

I'm like, "Why don't we just give them,
like, some money?"

I don't know how much.

We give them money?

Yeah, it's pretty cool. Yeah. Everybody likes...

- Michael.
- Hey.
- Any thoughts?

Sure. How about we build them, like,
a really cool

new BBC online platform,
kind of like a YouTube channel?

Like it could be, like, BBC Me.

- BBC Me?
- So TV figures are falling right now.
Like, I don't watch TV.

Like, I don't even have a TV.
Pretty soon no-one's going to be

watching TV. Like, it's not even going to be
a thing, so this could be a totally new voice.

People can upload their own content
onto the BBC brand.

Cos the BBC is owned by the people, right?

So this would be like giving them
a part of it back to play with,

which could be totally cool.

George.

Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick by Ian Dury

Obviously the danger is if he's actively excluded

from appearing on Match Of The Day,

- that could read as an example of prejudice.
- Right.

- Prejudice?
- Yes.
- Against what?
- Well...
- Against people who are crap?

Meanwhile, back in Renewal,

the Ryan Chelford discussion has moved on.

Ultimately, the LGBT community itself.

- Yes.
- Right, OK.

- Yes, exactly.
- Great.

- As I say, guys, we are looking at an issue here.
- Yes.

But, anyway, in the end...

In the circumstances,
the BBC's Head of Football,

Clive Cook, has agreed to give him

a one-off trial appearance as a pundit

on a special midweek FA Cup
third-round highlights edition

of Match Of The Day, which
very few people will watch.

The idea being that once people
see for themselves how bad

he actually is, that could solve
the whole problem in one go.

- Right, yes.
- Brilliant.

Yeah, no, can't see anything
going wrong with that.

Yes, but what he did say to me, Lucy,

obviously I don't know what he said to you,

but I don't mind saying,
I get on pretty well with Clive...

- Right.
- I don't take any nonsense from him.

- Hurrah.
- And I think he responds to that well.

Yes, well, anyway...

Yeah, so what he said to me,
in the circumstances,

he thought it would be good
if some of the useless senior management

down in London showed their faces
on the night as well.

- Right.
- Really?

I've got to say those were his words.
That's the way Clive talks.

With the Match Of The Day studios
located in Salford,

which is itself located
somewhere near Manchester,

the question now is, if any of the
senior management from London

are to be usefully present on the night,
which of them should it be?

I mean, Simon, I don't know if this is
something you feel you want...

- Yes, no, it's an interesting one, isn't it?
- Yes.

I mean, I don't know how these things work.

Honestly, this is so far off my
little patch of scrubby ground.

- Right.
- But, I mean, Lucy.
- Yes.

- Yes.
- I mean, you're so on top of all
this inclusivity stuff around this.

- Well...
- Yes, exactly.

Cos, I mean, basically it's about
making sure everyone feels

- - listened to and loved. - I don't know about...
- Loved?

- Yes, exactly, yes.
- Christ.
- I mean, I don't mind.

- I'll go up if anyone thinks it'll do
any good, me being there. - Right.

- Brilliant.
- I have to say, it works for me, Lucy.

- I may well be useless.
- No.
- Yes.

- But I'm not sure I really
qualify as senior management.
- Well, that's...

- Now pish.
- Pash.

No, I'm not being funny or anything,
Lucy, but I agree.

- Right.
- I've got to say, I think someone
should be up there with you.

Right.

I mean, I'd volunteer to go, obviously,

but I've got my work cut out
making Huw Edwards

- feel loved down here already.
- Right.

- Yes, no, very good, Neil.
- Yes, exactly.

No, really, well done, you.

I mean, what day is it we're talking about?

- It's Tuesday.
- Right.
- Tuesday evening, yes.

- Tuesday. Tuesday.
- Brilliant.
- I mean, I'm not sure

whether this is my little patch
of scrubby ground either.

No.

- But it's obviously important we get this right.
- OK, alrighty.

- Brilliant.
- Ian and Lucy.
- Well...
- Hurrah.

- All hail the Manchester Two.
- Yeah, good luck.
- Brilliant.

Yes, and the fact is I think I should be there too.

- What?
- Right.
- Well...
- Really?

Yes, exactly, yes.

OK, now we're really rolling.

I'm not being funny or anything, Anna,

but we are talking about people
feeling loved here.

The fact is, this is an opportunity
to put betterness front and centre

when it actually matters.

- Brilliant.
- What, front and centre in Manchester?

- Yes, exactly, yes.
- Right, OK.
- Hurrah.

Well, so, Ian, Lucy and Anna.

- All hail.
- Long live the Salford Three.

- Right.
- Right.
- Blimey.

Yes, exactly, yes.

- David.
- Hi, Izzy, yes.

Look at you, lovely Izzy in your lovely new coat.

Meanwhile, it's a week later,

and Development Executive Izzy Gould

has found herself with an opportunity
to have a moment

with Commissioning Editor Primetime
Factuality David Wilkes

- on her way into work.
- I was just going to e-mail you, actually.

I've got a meeting with Matt Taverner
this afternoon.

- Right, have you?
- Yes, I know, lovely Matt.

I know some people don't warm to him
with his glasses and everything,

- but do you know what?
- What is this about, David?
- Yes, right.

- I was chatting to him about
On Your Bike the other day.
- On Your Bike?

- My God, he absolutely loves it, Izzy.
- You talked about On Your Bike

- to Matt Taverner?
- Do you know what? He's mad about it.
- Right.

Honestly, when I stopped, he didn't say anything.

- He sat there nodding his head
to himself, like he does. - Right. - Yes.

Sixth floor.

- I mean, that's great, David.
- I know.

But, I mean, I'm not quite sure how to say this.

Go on, Izzy, just say. Just say what you think.
Say what's on your mind.

- But, I mean, On Your Bike
is not actually your idea.
- No.

It's not even my idea. It's Will Humphries'.

- I know, yes. Lovely Will.
- Yes, so...

But do you know what?
It's just such a great idea, Izzy.

- Yes.
- No, honestly, it is.
- Well, yes.
- It's like I said to Mark -

- do you know what? Ideas like
this don't come along very often. - No.

Making sure you're part of making
them happen when they do

is what being Commissioning Editor
Primetime Factuality

- is actually about.
- Yes.

OK, so here's the thing with this.
Here's what it is.

No-one watches television any more...

- Well...
- No.
- I mean, like, no-one. OK? Get over it.
- Brilliant.
- Exactly.

- I think that's perhaps...
- It's over.
- ..a bit of an overstatement.

- It's not an overstatement.
It's an uber-statement, OK?
- What? - Brilliant.

Meanwhile, BBC Head of Brand Siobhan
Sharpe has arrived

to present the BBC with a hello
present to end all hello presents

from PR giant Fun Media -

the idea of a completely
new online platform, BBC Me.

I mean, like, television - what is that?

- I don't even know what that is.
- Yes, very good.
- Yes, exactly, yes.

Against the background of a
changing media environment,

her mission is nothing less than
to introduce the Renewal Group

to the idea of the future, so that
everybody knows how it works

and where it's coming from,
and will be able both to recognise it

and know what to do with it when it arrives.

- I mean, I can see where
you're going with this, Siobhan.
- You so cannot.

But just to inject a note of reality
for a moment, I mean,

nearly 9 million people are watching
Happy Valley at the moment.

I mean, OK, it's not Morecambe & Wise
any more.

OK, so I don't even know what that is, OK?

No, but still, it's a lot of people, that's all.

OK, so I'm talking about the future here, right?

- Well...
- OK, and you're talking about the past.

I'm talking about last Wednesday.

OK, that's exactly my point.
OK, that's over, right?

- Well, no, but...
- I've got three words for you, guys.

U, G and C.

- Right.
- I'm sorry, Siobhan.
- So User...

- User generator...
- User generated...
User generated content.

- Yes, exactly, yes.
- Forget any other words,

cos you're not going to need them any more.

- Yeah, so coming back to
the present for a minute...
- Sure.

- ..which, I'm sorry, is where I am most
of the time. - Yes, me too, Neil.

- Brilliant.
- What would this BBC Me actually look like?

- Sure, no, OK.
- How would it actually work?

OK. OK, OK. Um, so, say you're
into body image, OK?

Body image?

- Sure.
- Yes, exactly. I'm not being funny or anything,

but I don't think that's going to work for Neil.

I don't know, you say that, Tracey.

- So say you're into bipolar.
- Into bipolar?
- Sure.

Right, OK, here we go.

So you've got issues around
low self-esteem, whatever.

- Yeah, have I?
- Yes.

So you upload stuff to BBC Me,
badda bing, you've got a voice.

- Right.
- OK, and it's YOUR voice, OK?

But it's also the voice of the BBC,
which is, like, super-cool.

- Brilliant.
- Brilliant.
- Brilliant.
- Pretty soon, you've got a community.

Before you know it, you've got
a range of memes.

- Right, OK.
- Memes?

I mean, we're in interesting
territory here, aren't we?

- Are we?
- Yes, exactly.

- No, glorious, really.
- Although it's not a completely new idea, is it?

- OK, it totally is, OK?
- I mean, what we're talking about here,

essentially it's a version of YouTube, isn't it?

- Excuse me?
- I mean...
- Are we suddenly, like,

- mainlining 17-year-olds here?
- We're what?
- Like, duh.

No, I mean, I have to say, I mean, listen,

- who knows where any of Tony's buttons are?
- No.

But if anything's going to push
them at the moment,

- then one has to think that this is it.
- Yes, exactly.

It so is. Tony who?

- Tony Hall, Siobhan.
- Sure.
- Director General...

No, no, no, sure. I'm good with that.

Yes, although is it just me or
is there an argument for us making

content for our audience, rather than
them making content for us?

- Yes.
- I've got to say, I agree with you.

Yes, no, very good, Ian. Very strong.

OK, what part of this are you not getting?

- No, I get it, I just...
- OK, it's over. OK? O-ver. Period.

I mean, it's like, "Goodbye,
BBC you guys. Hello, BBC Me."

- Yes.
- Right.
- Great.

- Yes, no, very good.
- Yes, exactly, yes.

She gets off those five eggs...

Later in the day, it's the afternoon,

and assistant of some kind
Will Humphries is hard at work.

..takes advantage to fly up to the nest
and check on those eggs.

But look at this. He's quite...

But Izzy Gould has stopped by to see him
on a way to a meeting

she's decided she's going to.

Will?

- Hi, Izzy, yeah. Hey.
- Are you busy?

Yeah, pretty busy, yeah.

- Right.
- Yeah, so, like, what I'm doing,
I have to watch, like,

catch-up for Ian Fletcher.

- Right, catch-up.
- Yeah, I know, mental.

Like, he's so busy, he doesn't
have time to watch TV,

so I have to watch stuff for him
and write, like, a report.

- Right, interesting.
- Yeah, so today I'm watching Springwatch.

- Right, OK. Springwatch.
- Yeah, the otters have died.

- Right. Well, that's...
- Yeah, I know, yeah, it's pretty sad.

Yes. I was actually wondering
if you've got a moment.

- Yeah, no, say again?
- I was wondering if you're free.

Yeah, OK, cool.

So I don't really know what this is about, OK?

- OK, cool.
- I only found out about it by accident.

- So it's like what?
- Well, it's a meeting.
- Yeah, meeting.

- That's all I know.
- Yeah, me too. Yeah, cool.

Cos the thought I had, and this is
just another thought I had

about this, Mark, is maybe something
like The Great British Bike Off.

Meanwhile, David Wilkes is already
some way into his meeting

with Head of Output Matt Taverner
about On Your Bike,

and, as usual, he's absolutely full of it.

So, you have different celebrities racing
against each other each week.

Yeah, no, sure, that's great.

But then you have professional judges like...

- Hey, guys.
- Hi, Matt.
- Good to see you.

Hey, yeah, good to see you. Yeah, cool.

- Hi, David.
- Hello, lovely.
- I said to Matt that it would be good

for Will to be here for this as well.

- Yes.
- Yeah, I know, sure.
- Since it was actually his idea.

- Yes, no, lovely.
- Great. Grab a seat, guys, grab a seat.

Matt has called the meeting in order to bring

everyone who's coming to it up to speed

with some recent developments
that have happened

with the On Your Bike idea.

Great. So headline is I've got,

- like, a general catch-up with Anna next week.
- Right, yes.

- Anna?
- What I'm going to say to her is
I think this could have

- real potential for BBC Me.
- Right.
- Whoa.

- BBC Me? - Yeah, sure.
- Do you know what, Matt?
That's really interesting, Matt.

- But BBC Me, that's like... That's online, isn't it?
- Sure.

That's going to be, like, user generated content.

Yes, it is, Izzy. Yes, that's correct.

So how's that going to work with
something like On Your Bike?

- Sure.
- Which is, like, the exact opposite of that.

- Yeah, no, sure, that's great, Izzy.
We should maybe talk about that.
- Right.

Such is the sudden buzz around
the idea of BBC Me

as a possible future for the BBC,

that Matt is keen to have been
developing ideas in that area

for as long as possible.

I mean, don't get me wrong, Izzy,
I love what you've done here.

- Right.
- Yes.
- Love where you've taken this idea.
- Genius.
- Yeah, me too.

So, yes, what's so great about this,
originally anyway...

- Sure.
- ..is basically it's such a simple idea.

It's like a reinvention of the classic chat show,

but, like, on a bike.

Yeah, no, sure, Izzy. That's great.

So I guess what's really exciting
about this is where we might

- be able to get to with it from here.
- Right.

- Do you know what, Matt?
I'm sat here listening. I'm excited too.
- Sure.

- But, I mean...
- Hey, guys.
- Jack.
- Sorry. Sorry I'm late.

- No, sure.
- Just a couple of Anna things I had to sort out.
- Sure.

Lovely Anna.

- Hi.
- Hi.
- So I asked Jack to look in cos
I know you've had some

- thoughts about this.
- Yeah, sure.
- Right.

- Hello, Will. - Yeah, hey, no worries. Yeah, cool.

- Hi.
- Hi, yes.

- Sorry if I'm late.
- No, you're not. I was early for some reason.

- Well, here we are anyway.
- Yes, here we are, yes.

- Who'd have thought it?
- Yes.

Meanwhile, across town,

Lucy and Ian have escaped to Euston Station

to begin a journey that will take
them to Manchester, Salford,

and ultimately all the way

to the midweek Match Of The Day FA Cup
third-round highlights package.

- No sign of Anna yet?
- Not yet, no.

- Right.
- I don't know where she's coming from.
- No, neither do I.

I mean, we've got a bit of time,
shall we go and get...?

- There she is.
- Right, yes. Anna, hi.
- Yes, hi, yes.

- Hi, Anna.
- Yes.
- Great.

- So we're all here.
- Yes.
- Yes, exactly, yes.

I was just asking Lucy,

cos we've actually got a bit of time, haven't we?

- If she wanted to go and get a coffee.
- Yes.
- Yes, exactly, yes.

I'll have a decaf skinny flat white.

- Right, em...
- Not in a cardboard thing.

No, I was actually suggesting us
going and getting a coffee together.

- Yes.
- If that's something...
- Yes, exactly.
- Right, OK. Good.

Yes.

Cos one of the things at the moment,
does this feel a bit...?

I don't know, does it feel a bit television?

- Sure.
- A bit television?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, no, sure.

With a sudden bulge of ideas
for the new BBC Me,

part of Jack's job in betterness
development involves helping

to position ideas like On Your Bike
to achieve maximum effect.

I was thinking, maybe it could be
like loads of different people

on different bikes, like, really fast.
Maybe a couple of words each.

- Sure.
- What?
- My God.

- Cos, basically, what this is,
it could be a selfie on a bike.
- Sure.

- I mean, that's...
- My God. Stop it, Jack.

- You might want to talk about
the title, obviously.
- Yeah, I know, sure. That's great.

- But, sorry, Matt, but...
- Izzy, yep.
- That's, like, I don't really know where to start.
- Sure.

- It's like we're not talking about
this any more now.
- No, sure.

This is not what Will came to me with.
This is something else.

Yeah, no, sure, that's great.
I guess the question to think about,

- cos it feels to me like we're
on a journey now with this.
- Right.
- Yes, we are, Matt, yes.

I mean, I don't know, I'm just putting
this out there.

- I guess something to think about is
whether or not that's a journey
you want to go on. - Yes.

Whatever you guys decide, OK, I completely
get that, OK? Cos this is absolutely your thing.

Right.

- I think maybe Will and I need to talk about this.
- No, sure.

Yeah, no worries, yeah, cool.

There was no passing.
There was no energy about

their game. It made it easier than
it should have been for the two...

- Here he is.
- Clive, hi.
- Hi, yes.

- Ian Fletcher.
- Yeah, hi, Ian. Really good to meet you.

Meanwhile, Ian, Lucy and Anna hav
got to the end of the line

and have arrived at the Match Of The Day studios

in the heart of Manchester, Salford.

- You know Anna.
- Hello.

Well, we've not met, but it's really good to meet you.

- Yes, exactly, yes.
- And Lucy, of course.
- Hi.

- Hi, Lucy.
- Lucy Freeman.
- Good to meet you at last.
- Yes, you too.

- We've spent that much time on the phone and the bloody e-mail.
- I know.

- It's great to be able to...
- Yes, exactly, yes.

As the BBC's Head of Football

and Match Of The Day's Senior
Executive Producer,

Clive Cook is the man responsible
for imagining everything that

could possibly go wrong with the
BBC's flagship live sport show.

- And then we spent
the whole evening rehearsing.
- Right.

- So how's it going?
- How's it going?
- Yes, how's it going?

- I mean with Ryan.
- Yes, exactly, with Ryan, yes.

- Well, we got through the tech, somehow.
- Right.

I have to say, we weren't sure
how this was going to go initially,

but I think we're at a point now
where we can say

- with some confidence that he is naturally crap.
- Right.

It's just something he's got in him, I think.

- Right, yes.
- Right.
- Yeah.

No, I mean, not a great night for Southampton

by any means. But Norwich came here
with a clear intention,

they kept their shape and they worked hard.

They had a plan and I guess they stuck to it.

Yeah, you've got to give them credit for that, Gary.

In the end, they got the result,

which I'm sure they'd have taken
before the start of the game.

By 10.35, the waiting is over

and it's time for Match Of The Day.

Ryan, I know you were less than impressed

with some of Southampton's defending.

- Yeah, I was, Gary. Yeah, I was.
- Right.

Well, for me, they were poor. For me,
that's unacceptable.

I think you've got some examples that
you wanted to highlight.

Yeah, I have, yeah. Well, for me,
they were poor, Gary.

For me, when you're poor at this level,

you're going to end up getting beat.

Yes, they got a draw, but, I'm sorry, for me,

that's not a win in my book.

Right. I know you've been looking
in particular at their defensive

shape at the back.

Yeah, I have, yeah. OK, right, so, if you look here...

No, wait. There's a bit where if...

Yeah, here we go.

Right, so, you've got your basic diamond, right?

What happens if...

Yeah, so, Yoshida, he's in
the channel on the left. No.

On the right.

Yeah. Bertrand's over here, look.
Hang on a minute. Here we go.

He's in the hole behind Hojbjerg,

who's gone all the way over here instead...
Now look.

Where's he going? Look, there he goes. Look.

No, wait, is that Van Dijk? Yeah.

Whereas Ward-Prowse is basically left
trying to make a diamond

on his own, which, for me, I'm sorry,
he's not going to do that.

I mean, it's not a diamond now anyway, is it?

I mean, what is that? It's more... It's kind of...

Now, look, it's gone all... It's not...
I mean, what is that?

It's not even a shape, it's just like a pointy line.

I'm sorry, but, for me,

you're not going to win games
at this level with pointy lines, Gary.

- Right.
- I mean, if these were actual cars, right,

this would literally be a car crash,
do you know what I'm saying?

It's poor. For me, I'm sorry, that's not acceptable.

Yes. OK, well, three more games
still to come tonight,

and plenty of football to look forward
to at the weekend in

the Premier League, of course,
with third place Arsenal taking on...

Given where Salford is in relation
to anywhere else,

it was always going to be too late
to get back to London.

- There you go, Mr Fletcher, 305.
- Right.

- Would you like any help with your luggage, or...?
- No.
- 305.

Yes, you're all next to each other, actually.

- Right.
- Is that going to be OK for you today?
- Yes, I mean...

- As I say, if you would like any help with your...
- No, I don't want that.

OK. Well, enjoy your night with us tonight.

- Yes, exactly.
- Yes.
- Yes.

Yes, I know he did.

I know he was.

I know it hasn't.

No, I know you're not.

At last, in the unashamedly budget hotel

booked by the BBC, Ian has got
a moment at the end of the day

to enjoy some quiet nuts and
an uninterrupted phone call

from Senior BBC Press Officer Tracey Pritchard,

who has phoned to bring him up
to speed with the bad feeling she's got

about how things have gone.

Yes, I know.

No, I'm sure you haven't.

Listen, Tracey, it's 00.45.
Let's sleep on it and regroup in...

Yes, I know it is. ..Yes, OK.

Yes, speak to you in... No, I know it hasn't.

Speak to you in the morning.

OK. Bye.

Bye.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Sorry, I don't want to...
- No, no.
- If you were...
- No, come in.

- I mean, if you are still up.
- Yes, well, apparently I am, yes.

- No, I was just talking to Tracey.
- Right, yes. How is she?

- Well, apparently Ryan Chelford
is now trending on Twitter.
- Yes.

- #FootballSexy.
- Yes, I saw that.

Yes, but at the same time, according to Tracey,

the complaints log have received
over 400 calls from football fans.

- Right.
- Apparently the highest number of
complaints in a single evening

ever recorded in peacetime, or something.

- Really? Dear.
- Yes, anyway, so that's all good.

Yes.

- Anyway.
- Yes.

- So?
- No, I don't want to disturb you.

No, that's OK. I mean, do you want
a glass of vaguely white wine?

- Well...
- You might as well.
I'm never going to get through all this.

- No, it was just... So I got this e-mail earlier.
- Right.

- I don't know if you got it too.
- An e-mail about what?

Well, it... Well, this.

No, right. No, I didn't get this.

Lucy has just found out that as part of the BBC's

new More Of Less initiative,

a key part of its preparation for Charter renewal,

a new post of Head of Empowerment
is to be created,

combining both the existing roles
of Head of Diversity

and Head of Inclusivity, which are
to be unimagined going forward.

- Sorry, when did you get this?
- About an hour ago.

- Right.
- Yes, so I didn't really feel like sleeping.

No. I mean, do sit down, obviously.

I mean, I don't know what to say.

- No, well...
- Needless to say, this is the first I've heard of it.

What the hell's that?

- I'm sorry, I don't...
- No.

-
- No.
- I don't know what...
- No, yes.

Anna.

- Hi.
- Yes, exactly.

- The fact is, I'm not drunk.
- No, right.

- Yes, so...
- Yes, hi, Anna.
- Yes.
- Yes.