All language subtitles for Superstore.S04E09.720p.HDTV.x264-AVS.en

Hey, hope I'm not interrupting.

No, come on in. I'm just researching

Lutheran Kindergarten
options for the baby.

- Wow, already?
- Yeah, they fill up fast,

especially the accredited ones.

So, I've been doing a little
future planning myself.

And I was thinking that maybe

I might wanna, um, become
a manager like you.

Like me?

Yeah.

Well... that is some interesting news.

And I was wondering if maybe
you'd be willing to write

a letter of recommendation

for the management training program.

I'm sorry, are you okay?

Yeah, I'm sorry.

This is just like the
happiest day of my life.

I am gonna teach you
everything that I know.

You are gonna be the best manager...
sorry...

manage-ess that they have ever seen.

I'm pretty sure that
the training program

will cover most of what I need...

Oh, there is no way
that I am sending you

into that lion's den unarmed.

I gotta start building your curriculum.

Oh, um, that sounds like a lot work,

and I know how valuable your time is.

No, do not even think
about paying me for this.

Lesson one:

Typing using the "home row" method.

Synced and corrected by hawken45
for www.addic7ed.com

So, you wanna be a manager.

You've worked your little tush off.

You're on the fast track.

But sloooow down.

You still got a lot to learn.

Welcome to tape four
of "Management Overview."

- When did he make this?
- Last night.

He stayed up till 11:30.

He actually fell asleep
through most of part one,

but then he farted himself awake.

This is what you get for
wanting to be a manager.

Just a sweaty idiot snoring

and farting through his basement.

You don't wanna be a manager?

God, no. Why would I?

I just figured since you're
an assistant manager,

the next logical step would be...

What's wrong with being
an assistant manager?

Nothing, nothing.

If you're happy, I'm not judging you.

It sounds like you're judging her.

Guys, this really doesn't
have to be a group thing.

I wanna start my own business someday.

Oh, my God, so do I.

Wait, is this really happening?

Are we really starting
a business together?

You know what?
I hate you for saying it first, but yes.

Guys, remember this moment...
we just witnessed history.

Sometimes, as a manager,

you've gotta be a shark.

I think he missed the pause button.

I got tricked into
starring in a video once.

It was hilarious.

Is everything okay?

Oh, yeah.

I mean, come on, who'd have thunk it?

Yesterday you were just
some nobody floor manager,

and now here you are ordering
ice pops all by yourself.

- It's been a whirlwind.
- Yeah.

Okay, so, now I hit submit?

Uh-buh-buh-buh! Euuuhh!

"Always Check Everything Seven Times."

Really, seven times?

Isn't that five or six times too many?

You would be surprised how many mistakes

I pick up on the seventh check.

Seven times, got it.

Okay, and then I hit submit.

Ah... yes, but if you ever
forget where you are,

here's a little mnemonic device,

you know, to help you remember.

♪ And unit quantity ♪

♪ Then triple check the product name ♪

♪ 'Cause thorough's what you want be ♪

- Glenn, really, I...
- ♪ Then look it over ♪

♪ One more time in case
there's a mistake ♪

♪ Then sign it, date it, click submit ♪

♪ And throw it in the lake ♪

But don't do that last part,
'cause it's just for the rhyme.

Hey, I've been thinking
about what you said,

about how I should be ashamed of my job.

Oh, I didn't actually mean
you should be ashamed...

No, no, no.
You were right to ridicule me

in front of everyone.

It was harsh but a real wake-up call.

Okay, again, I wasn't trying
to ridicule you. I...

Truth is, I don't wanna do
this for the rest of my life.

But I don't wanna be a manager
either, so... what do I do?

I mean, you could do whatever you want.

Oh, really? Could I be a giraffe?

- Well, within reality.
- Yeah, exactly.

How quickly we go from "you can
be whatever you wanna be"

to "within reality."
Okay, drop what you're doing.

We have to figure this out.

- We?
- It is the least you can do

after the way you humiliated me.

You can't just shiv someone
and then walk away.

You need to help mop up the blood.

Mop up my blood, Jonah.

What if we call our business "Divinity"?

But the word Divinity
is written upside down.

Mmm-hmm, love it, but also
kind of hate it.

What about "Just Us"?

"Just Us" or just "Us"?

Just "Just Us."

"Just Just Us" or just..."Just Us"?

Hey, any chance you guys could go talk
over somebody else's head?

Shh.

We are trying to create
a lifestyle brand

slash multimedia platform.

Yeah, you obviously don't get Chateo.

Chateo!

I love it!

I actually thought of it a while ago,

but I was sitting on it,
'cause I just wanted it

to, like, slip out and
sound super casual.

Oh, my God!

Okay, so the guy that
we're going to talk to

at the distribution center
is named Ronald Stimple.

And here's a few tidbits I collected

to help us out during the call.

We need to know that he wears
a mouth guard at night

- to order paper towels?
- Okay, Amy,

managing a store is about relationships.

Business is personal.

That's why when you ask
a question that's too personal,

they say "it's none of your..."

- "Business."
- Exactly.

God, you're a fast learner.

Would you mind actually putting that

in the recommendation letter?

Which, by the way, they said
"the sooner the better,"

but no pressure.

Yeah, I'm not feeling any.

Okay, so, Ronald is 47 years old,

he's in a handball league,
he had a deaf girlfriend

when he was 16, and he's
thinking about a vasectomy,

but I think he's showing off.

Shipping.

Hey, Ronald, Glenn Sturgis here.

Time to order some more paper towels.

Okay, no problem.

Okay, anyway, how's it going with...

And that is how that is done.

- So interesting...
- Yeah.

- To see behind the curtains.
- Mm-hmm, yeah.

All right, next up is Fern Rosato.

Now, she's married to a woman,

so watch how casually I bring up

"Xena: Warrior Princess."

- How's training?
- Ah!

I'm supposed to be tuning into
the rhythms of the store.

Or trusting my inner manager.
I'm not sure.

Glenn was playing "Chariots of Fire"

really loudly at the time.

Sounds like you're learning a lot.

Oh, yeah. Earlier today,

I got to order ice pops all by myself.

Nice! Sounds like it's totally worth it.

Well, I think in the end it will be.

I'm just glad to finally be

taking control of my life
again, you know?

No more crying over
stupid mistakes I made

as a high school student.

If I'm unhappy with my life,
then you know,

it's up to me to change that.

For me, I think it started
with my parents.

They didn't love each other
enough to love their kids.

Oh, um, I...

Oh.

Okay, next question.

"In your career, would you rather work
with your hands or at a desk?"

Well, if I choose the desk,
am I not allowed to use my hands?

I mean, am I typing with my face?

I think you're getting
bogged down with the details.

Just answer off the top of your head.

I mean, I don't...
I don't know, it depends.

I mean, "work with your hands"
could be code for "massage,"

which could be code for "prostitution."

I mean, do I wanna be a prostitute?

Again, depends. Who are my clients?

Let's try a different section.

Um, okay.

"Rank the following four qualities

"from most to least
important: flexible hours,

coworker relationships,
social impact, salary."

Four-way tie.

That's... okay.

- Yeah.
- I'll just... all right.

Okay, uh, what about this one?

How does it make you feel?

Scared.

Interesting. You said the last
one also made you feel scared.

Yeah.

- Okay.
- And what about this one?

Hey, is that the Pizza Hut font?

Yes. Just how does it make you feel?

Like, um... hungry.

No. We want sophisticated, bold,

offensive, inclusive.

Wait. Okay... I'm sorry,

I thought that we weren't doing "bold."

I thought we were doing "bold."

Okay, maybe we should just
forget the whole thing.

- Okay, I'm out.
- What?

What if instead of "bold"
we did "extreme"?

Okay, okay, back in.

I love "extreme."

We just solved our
first business crisis.

I love making business decisions.

Okay, I have hidden
several rule violations

somewhere in this section.

And, go.

That trash can is overflowing.

That fluorescent light bulb is out.

That mannequin's missing an arm.

There is a bottle of grape soda

that doesn't belong in women's
wear and it's leaking.

These sweaters aren't really folded.

They're just sort of
wadded up into balls.

And Brett should be wearing a shirt.

That was really good.

You even found some I didn't notice.

Okay, so, this next part is called:

"Backwards and on Roller-Skates."

'Cause a great manager
should be able to do this job

backwards and on roller-skates.

Glenn, this really isn't necessary.

I mean, I know all of this stuff,

and what I don't know, I'm sure I'll
learn in actual management training.

So, you don't want my fake
management training,

is what you're saying.

I mean, I wanna say exactly,

but I'm trying not to hurt
your feelings.

Sorry I wasted your time.

Brett, for future reference,
if a manager asks you

to take off your clothes,
you can say no.

Okay, what about
Professional flavor tester?

Pass. I don't want my sister's job.

Maritime law?

Legislative or enforcement?

- Enforcement.
- Pass.

- Legislative?
- Also, pass.

Why didn't you just say
that to being with?

I'm trying to be open.

Maybe you could be a bike messenger.

Uh, like Joseph Gordon-Levitt
in "Premium Rush"?

I think I'll pass on being
chased around by a corrupt cop

because I'm unknowingly
delivering $50,000

to a Chinese human trafficker, thanks.

What are you trying to do,
get her killed?

What about scuba cop? Is that a job?

I don't think I see that listed here.

- It's a pass anyway.
- Ah.

Too worried about the bends.

Amy, hey.

Are you the one who keeps putting

pictures of naked horses in my locker?

Aren't all horses naked?

Not this naked.

They're just... putting it all
out there.

No, Marcus, no.

I am not the one putting
naked horses in your locker.

Okay.

Also, did you septuple-check
this purchase order?

It just showed up.

No, because you don't need to
check something seven times.

That is not right.

Obviously, it was a typo.
I meant to write 120.

Who would need 12,000 boxes of ice pops?

We don't have room for that.

No, sorry, sir.
Can you not bring this in?

Sorry, lady, not my problem.

You cannot hold us to this deal.

No, okay, sir, you may not
bring this in here.

Absolutely not. All right, fine.

You are not going anywhere.

Oh, God.

Okay, these shoes have no traction.

This is way too many ice pops.

It's fine. It's fine.

We just have to sell them
as quickly as possible.

Now, in the middle of winter.

Yeah, it's like when you were
playing in the snow as a kid,

and your mom would come out
with a delicious tray

of ice-cold milkshakes.

Um, does Glenn know about this?

No, and he doesn't need to,
so let's get all these

into the freezer before he sees them.

The freezer's full.

And based on my experience with ice,

these things are gonna melt.

Well, it's January, Marcus.

Outside is a freezer, so just
hide them somewhere outside.

You want me to just hide

all of these boxes somewhere outside?

- Can you?
- Absolutely.

I'm pretty good at hiding things.

My girlfriend lived with me
for an entire year

during high school. My mom had no idea.

I hid her in my stuffed
animals like E.T..

Why did you have so many
stuffed animals in high school?

Do we need someone to distract Glenn

while we try to sell them?

I can make myself cry on command. Watch.

Ooh, it's not happening.

Oh wait, here it comes.

Okay, everyone look away.
I'm gonna pull out a nose hair.

- Ugh!
- You know what?

Cheyenne and I will distract him.

Okay, yeah, great.

That's a plan. We have a plan.

Yeah, Marcus is just gonna
hide these boxes somewhere.

Mateo and Cheyenne are gonna
distract Glenn with something.

And Justine's gonna cry.

This is some "Tinker Tailor
Soldier Spy" level [bleep].

Yeah.

It's pretty good.

Hey, Glenn.

I don't know if you heard,

but Mateo and I are starting a business.

"Chateo."

Oh, that's really great.

Well, and since you're a businessman,

we were wondering if we
could sit here with you

for the next... couple of hours,

and just really learn from you.

Really, you want my help?

- Oh, yes.
- Uh, yes.

- Please.
- Absolutely.

Okay, have a seat.

Ugh, I thought I was starting
to find Coat Guard interesting,

but I think I'm just enjoying
this octopus in a sailor hat.

Well, I think we've been
through every job,

and there's nothing left.

There's gotta be something.

Do you think space mailman
will ever be a thing?

Look, you can't expect to figure
out your entire future in a day.

I spent 200 grand on higher education,

and I still haven't figured it out.

200 grand? Your parents must be pissed.

Nope. All student loans.

You have $200,000 in student loan debt?

Ha! I mean, the interest on that alone

must be more than you make here.

Well, yeah. I mean, sure...

That means every single day,

even after you've worked a full day,

you are more in debt than
you were the day before.

Uh-huh.

Wow, I thought I was in trouble,

but... ha! I mean,
you're just as lost as I am,

and you're 2 hundy in the hole.

That's pretty weird to think about, huh?

That is weird.

Attention shoppers:

it's 10 degrees Fahrenheit outside,

so why not take home
a frosty case of ice pops?

It makes about as much sense

as most of the stuff you buy here.

I'm looking at you, Spoon Painting Guy.

Sir, would you like to
try a tasty ice pop?

Ma'am, you look like you could use

a refreshing pick-me-up.

Celebrate winter with
yummy, ice-cold ice pops.

Are these okay for a diabetic?

- Mm-hmm.
- Okay.

Thanks.

And just like that,

you have a mug of steaming
hot purple cider.

Get your ice pops, ice pops, ice pops.

Hey, oh.

Look alive, look alive.

Half a cup of milk, a handful of kale,

a scoop of protein powder,
add three ice pops,

That's what fiber sounds like.

Have a heavenly day.
Have a heavenly day.

And then... voila.

Mmm.

If your daddy says you can't have them,

then you scream and scream
and scream your head off

until he says yes.

Just a little like... it's like popcorn.

They said it couldn't be
done, but just like that,

12,000 ice pops disappeared.

Mindfreak, right?

I think this is one
of those situations where

the job you did is so incredibly bad

and such a massive waste of time

that it circled around to genius.

So, it's not good?

It's not good.

♪ On the ninth day of business ♪

- ♪ My employees said... ♪
- [knock on door]

Glenn, oh... uh... sorry,
I can come back.

No, no, what is it?

I just wanted to come see
if I could take you to lunch

to discuss, um, my... my salary.

That sounds great. We'll all go.

All of us?

But... what about the learning?

This will be a teachable moment.

The best negotiations
always happen over a meal.

Write that down. Come on!

But we wanna learn about
your filing system.

- Glenn?
- Um...

- Glenn.
- Yeah, Glenn,

let's stay in the office.

I love ice pops.

Justine, what are you doing?

Sex sells, Amy.

Mmm, I can't wait to
put this in my mouth.

Okay, stop!

Oh, sensitive teeth.

Oh, Glenn, where... where are you going?

Just out for a business
lunch with my protégés.

We're gonna talk about a raise

over a nacho tower at Red Robin

with a bunch of my coworkers.

Yeah, let's go.

Give yourself that look.

Um, Glenn. Glenn...

- Um, Glenn.
- Yeah?

Glenn.

Whoa!

Okay.

What?

Uh, I am just, uh, stunned

by how nice our parking lot is.

Well done. Very well done.

It is. It is a nice parking lot.

Oh!

Oh... oh...

oh... oh!

You're not supposed to
cut through like that.

Do you think Glenn was really mad?

I mean, it's hard to tell with him.

He turns purple for so many reasons.

Mm-hmm.

Hey, this might not be the best time,

but I need to get reimbursed

for the giant photo of the parking lot.

Kinda maxed out my mom's credit card.

Uh... no.

But you said "hide the ice pops."

I did exactly what you said.

So let me know if any
of these feel right to you.

First up, me as a chef.

Yummers.

Firefighter.

Whoa, somebody call 9/11!

- You mean 9-1-1?
- I did.

- You have to say "9-1-1."
- Okay.

Okay. Astronaut.

Come on, she obviously
just made a mistake.

We don't take returns. You know that.

Well, maybe you could
just take half of them back,

and then in future purchases...

Amy, I got this.

Come on, Donovan, like,
we... we know each other.

We've worked together for years.

Like, I know that you tore your meniscus

playing handball, remember?

And you've got a bulldog named Velvet.

There's nothing I can do.

I also know about the waitress.

- The waitress?
- Yeah.

On April 7th, you told me that your wife

was going out of town for a month.

But then on April 21st, you told me

that you'd "pounded a waitress,

until her eyes rolled back in her head."

I didn't wanna hear
about it at the time,

but now I'm glad I did.

I'll take them back.

That is wonderful!

See, I knew we could come
to an understanding, Donovan.

Thanks for stopping by.

Go [bleep] yourself, Glenn.

Again, I'm sorry about the typo.

I didn't know it would get so dark.

I feel like everyone
works Monday to Friday,

so we should do Tuesday,
Thursday, Sunday

from 10:00 pm to 2:00 am.

Smart.

Then we could do lots
of business with Tokyo.

Yes.

Hey, if you guys are serious

about starting a business,
would it be crazy

if we teamed up?

- Teamed up?
- Yeah, yeah.

I mean, I went to business school.

It was only a year, but
you know, it's something.

And I have a lot of great ideas.

Hey, you know what? How 'bout this?

The next day that we all have off,

let's get together and just
brainstorm some business ideas.

Maybe we could do some research...

I'm gonna cut you off right there.

You know we're not actually
gonna start a business, right?

You're not?

No, I mean, we always tell ourselves

that we're gonna do something,

but I think in the back of our heads,

we both know we're never
actually gonna do it.

- Right?
- God, no.

Ah... oh, okay.

It's like when people
talk about starting a band.

Oh, my God, we should start a band.

- Yes!
- You in?

I don't play any instruments.

Again, we're not actually gonna do this.

Oh, right... yes. So then, yeah, sure.

What should our name be?

You know, I always thought
a good name for a band

would be the Hardtime Ramblers.

- All in favor...
- Ugh!

Of voting Jonah out of the band?

Glenn, I'm really sorry
I messed up the order.

What is this?

My recommendation for the program.

- What?
- Mm-hmm.

- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

Glenn, thank you.

You know, I made a mistake
or two coming up.

- What?
- Mm-hmm.

- You?
- Oh, yeah.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Oh.

One time, I gave $100 bill in change

when it was only
supposed to be 35 cents.

Oh.

And then another time,

I forgot to put anybody on the schedule,

and I had to work the whole
day alone in the store.

Hmm.

And then, uh, and then one time

I ate everybody's lunch by accident.

And, um... oh, I accidentally
ordered some adult toys

'cause I thought they were puzzles.