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1
00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:48,947
3, 2, 1.
2
00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:39,798
WELL, I'M JUST
PAYING ATTENTION TO YOU.
I AM NOT HOVERING.
3
00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:41,200
OKAY.
4
00:01:41,202 --> 00:01:42,634
YOU'RE ALWAYS
GONNA BE MY BABY.
5
00:01:42,636 --> 00:01:44,636
LET'S GO.
I'M NOT READY.
6
00:01:44,638 --> 00:01:47,306
H-HOW CAN YOU
NOT BE READY?
I'M NOT READY YET.
7
00:03:11,192 --> 00:03:12,691
H-HOVER?
YOU THINK I HOVER?
8
00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:14,626
YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN, LIKE,
HOVERING OVER ME.
9
00:03:20,067 --> 00:03:22,467
LLOYD.
10
00:03:22,469 --> 00:03:24,203
LLOYD.
11
00:03:24,205 --> 00:03:26,371
LLOYD, LLOYD,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
12
00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:29,141
DO YOU LOVE YOUR MOMMY?
DID YOU WEAR YOUR SEAT BELT?
13
00:03:32,613 --> 00:03:33,612
ARE WE HERE?
14
00:03:33,614 --> 00:03:34,880
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
15
00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:36,615
HANG ON, HANG ON.
16
00:03:36,617 --> 00:03:38,317
STAY THERE.
I'M COMIN' TO GET YOU!
17
00:03:40,286 --> 00:03:41,787
CAN I TAKE
THE BLINDFOLD OFF YET?
18
00:03:41,789 --> 00:03:43,288
NO!
GET OUT OF THE CAR!
19
00:03:43,290 --> 00:03:45,123
OKAY, WALK.
20
00:03:45,125 --> 00:03:46,658
THERE'S A CURB THERE.
STEP BACK. ALL RIGHT.
OH. ALL RIGHT.
21
00:03:46,660 --> 00:03:49,595
AND...AND...
22
00:03:49,597 --> 00:03:51,430
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
23
00:03:51,432 --> 00:03:52,598
YEAH.
24
00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:54,066
WE'RE GONNA HAVE
THE BEST DAY!
25
00:03:54,068 --> 00:03:56,468
COME ON!
26
00:03:56,470 --> 00:03:59,071
LOOK AT THIS! ISN'T THIS
THE BEST PLACE ON EARTH?
27
00:03:59,073 --> 00:04:00,839
YEAH, IT'S SOMETHING.
28
00:04:00,841 --> 00:04:02,808
COME ON! OH, TATTOOS!
LET'S GET MATCHING TATTOOS.
29
00:04:02,810 --> 00:04:05,444
OH, YES, THAT'S JUST WHAT
I'VE ALWAYS WANTED.
30
00:04:05,446 --> 00:04:06,445
REALLY?
31
00:04:06,447 --> 00:04:08,247
NO! NOT REALLY.
32
00:04:10,850 --> 00:04:12,117
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
YEAH.
33
00:04:12,119 --> 00:04:13,719
GOT IT.
ALL RIGHT.
34
00:04:18,291 --> 00:04:19,958
LOOK HERE.
35
00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:21,927
YOU'VE TAKEN ENOUGH PICTURES
TO FILL A WEDDING ALBUM.
36
00:04:21,929 --> 00:04:23,862
WILL YOU STOP?
I HAVE NOT TAKEN
NEARLY ENOUGH.
37
00:04:26,599 --> 00:04:27,799
IT SMELLS LIKE A SKU--
IS THERE A SKUNK?
38
00:04:27,801 --> 00:04:29,334
A WHAT?
IT SMELLS LIKE A SKUNK.
39
00:04:29,336 --> 00:04:30,602
COME ON.
YOU DON'T SMELL THAT?
40
00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:31,870
IT'S JUST WEED.
IT'S NOTHING --
41
00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:33,372
OH, GOD.
THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH IT.
42
00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:40,279
WHAT'S LEFT AFTER THIS?
43
00:04:40,281 --> 00:04:43,048
PROM, THEN GRADUATION,
AND THEN YOU'RE GONE!
44
00:04:43,050 --> 00:04:44,516
YOU'RE GONE!
45
00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:45,684
AND ALL I'M GONNA HAVE LEFT
ARE THESE PHOTOS.
46
00:04:45,686 --> 00:04:46,985
MOM --
47
00:04:46,987 --> 00:04:48,487
PHOTOS THAT I AM
GONNA FLIP THROUGH
48
00:04:48,489 --> 00:04:49,888
IN THAT DARK HOUSE ALONE.
49
00:04:49,890 --> 00:04:51,623
IT'S JUST COLLEGE.
I'M GOING TO COLLEGE.
50
00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:53,392
IF I GET IN
AND IF I GET A SCHOLARSHIP.
51
00:04:53,394 --> 00:04:55,861
I'M NOT SIGNING UP FOR A TOUR
OF DUTY IN THE MIDDLE EAST.
52
00:04:55,863 --> 00:04:57,663
BUT THEN YOU'RE GONNA MEET
A NICE GIRL.
53
00:04:57,665 --> 00:04:58,964
DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?
54
00:04:58,966 --> 00:05:00,699
YOU'RE GONNA GO GET MARRIED
IN MINNESOTA.
55
00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:02,501
MOM, I THINK YOU'RE GETTING
A LITTLE BIT AHEAD OF YOURSELF.
56
00:05:02,503 --> 00:05:04,403
THEN KIDS!
AH, THEN KIDS.
57
00:05:04,405 --> 00:05:06,505
AND THEN YOU'RE NOT GONNA
HAVE TIME FOR YOUR MOM.
58
00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:08,640
WELL, IF YOU'RE LUCKY,
I'LL TURN OUT TO BE GAY.
59
00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:16,815
WE'RE GONNA TAKE
SOME OF THESE.
60
00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:17,816
WHAT ARE WE DOING?
61
00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:18,850
OH, THESE ARE GREAT.
62
00:05:18,852 --> 00:05:21,019
RIGHT?
I CAN'T EVEN...
63
00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:22,087
OH, YEAH.
64
00:05:22,089 --> 00:05:23,822
OH, WHAT THE --
PUT THIS ON.
65
00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:25,190
THIS IS NOT --
THIS IS CLEARLY NOT A MAN'S HAT.
66
00:05:25,192 --> 00:05:26,425
THIS IS VERY GOOD,
VERY GOOD.
67
00:05:26,427 --> 00:05:27,859
I THINK I LOOK LIKE
LADY GAGA RIGHT NOW.
68
00:05:27,861 --> 00:05:29,394
THIS IS ME.
THIS IS SO ME.
LOOK!
69
00:05:29,396 --> 00:05:30,762
THIS IS -- WHAT'S THIS CALLED,
A "SELFIE"?
70
00:05:30,764 --> 00:05:32,030
YEAH.
71
00:05:32,032 --> 00:05:33,665
AND NOW...
NOW WHAT?
72
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,600
...IT'S TIME TO COME OUT.
COME OUT OF -- WHAT?
73
00:05:35,602 --> 00:05:38,003
OOH! OKAY, ALL RIGHT,
SORRY.
74
00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:39,237
WHAT ARE YOU,
TOO BUSY PLAYING DRESS-UP
75
00:05:39,239 --> 00:05:40,772
TO WATCH WHERE
YOU'RE WALKING...
76
00:05:40,774 --> 00:05:42,040
SHEILA?
I'M SORRY.
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
77
00:05:42,042 --> 00:05:43,375
LISTEN, WE WERE JUST
KIDDING AROUND.
78
00:05:43,377 --> 00:05:44,343
WE'RE JUST HANGING OUT.
IT'S ALL RIGHT.
79
00:05:44,345 --> 00:05:45,644
JUST AN ACCIDENT.
SORRY.
80
00:05:45,646 --> 00:05:48,013
AW, DOES YOUR MOMMY FIGHT
ALL YOUR BATTLES FOR YA?
81
00:05:49,383 --> 00:05:50,916
OKAY.
82
00:05:50,918 --> 00:05:52,517
WHY DON'T YOU JUST LEAVE MY SON
ALONE, YOU BIG LOSER?
83
00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:54,252
OKAY. ALL RIGHT, MOM. LET'S GO.
LET'S JUST --
84
00:05:54,254 --> 00:05:55,854
MOM, LET'S -- LET'S GO.
HEY, LADY...
85
00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:58,023
GET YOUR FAGGOT SON
AND GET OUTTA HERE
86
00:05:58,025 --> 00:05:59,391
BEFORE WE MAKE YOU
GET OUTTA HERE.
87
00:05:59,393 --> 00:06:00,792
LET'S -- LET'S DO THAT.
LET'S GO.
88
00:06:00,794 --> 00:06:02,728
YOU'RE RIGHT.
WE SHOULD JUST GO.
89
00:06:02,730 --> 00:06:03,762
MOM!
90
00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:08,767
YEAH. HIT A WOMAN.
91
00:06:08,769 --> 00:06:10,502
THAT ALWAYS
TURNS OUT WELL.
92
00:06:15,141 --> 00:06:16,875
UH...
93
00:06:18,444 --> 00:06:19,811
EXCUSE ME!
94
00:06:19,813 --> 00:06:21,546
GO! GO! GO! GO!
GO! GO! GO! OH, MY GOD!
95
00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:23,148
SO, YOU HAD TO SLAP HIM.
OH, MY GOD. RUN! RUN! RUN!
96
00:06:23,150 --> 00:06:24,816
I'M RUNNING AS FAST
AS I CAN, MOM!
97
00:06:24,818 --> 00:06:26,218
GO! GO! GO! GO! GO!
GOTTA GO.
GO! GO! GO!
98
00:06:28,155 --> 00:06:30,622
THAT WAY! THAT WAY!
THAT WAY! THAT WAY!
99
00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:37,562
UH...HONEY, GO! GO!
COME HERE. COME HERE. THIS WAY.
100
00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:40,232
THIS WAY.
COME ON. COME ON. COME ON.
OKAY, OKAY.
101
00:06:41,335 --> 00:06:42,434
YOU ALL RIGHT?
102
00:06:42,436 --> 00:06:43,969
YEAH, FINE.
103
00:06:43,971 --> 00:06:46,071
I'M FI--
MOM? MOM?
104
00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:47,272
I'M FI-- I'M FINE.
I'M FINE.
105
00:06:50,277 --> 00:06:52,611
HERE WE GO.
106
00:06:52,613 --> 00:06:54,279
YOU'RE GONNA SCARE --
107
00:06:54,281 --> 00:06:55,814
OH, COME ON, MOM.
LOOK AWAY.
108
00:06:55,816 --> 00:06:57,149
THERE'S NOWHERE
FOR ME TO LOOK
109
00:06:57,151 --> 00:06:58,683
THAT I'M REMOTELY
COMFORTABLE WITH.
110
00:06:58,685 --> 00:07:01,019
ALL RIGHT, MISS COOPER.
THESE ARE PAINKILLERS.
111
00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:04,423
ONLY TAKE TWO A DAY.
OH, DRUGS?
112
00:07:04,425 --> 00:07:06,758
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT DRUGS.
113
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:09,361
YOU KNOW, I TRY TO KEEP MY BODY
IN A HARMONIOUS, EARTHY BALANCE.
114
00:07:09,363 --> 00:07:11,430
THAT'S GOOD TO HEAR,
MISS COOPER.
115
00:07:11,432 --> 00:07:13,665
EVERY DAY I MAKE MYSELF
A GREEN SMOOTHIE.
116
00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:18,503
JUST ALL THE GREEN STUFF
FROM MY...ORGANIC GARDEN.
117
00:07:18,505 --> 00:07:20,105
I JUST TAKE THAT STUFF
AND I JUST THROW IT IN THERE
118
00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:23,442
LIKE PEA PODS AND BROCCOLI
AND KALE
119
00:07:23,444 --> 00:07:24,543
AND QUENOAH.
120
00:07:24,545 --> 00:07:26,178
I THINK THAT'S QUINOA.
MMM.
121
00:07:26,180 --> 00:07:27,546
QUINOA, TOO.
122
00:07:27,548 --> 00:07:29,981
EATING HEALTHY IS IMPORTANT.
MM-HMM.
123
00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:31,650
YOU NEED TO MAKE SURE YOU'RE
BALANCING IT WITH EXERCISE.
124
00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:33,051
ARE YOU EXERCISING?
OH, YEAH.
125
00:07:33,053 --> 00:07:35,153
I GO TO THE GYM SO MUCH
THAT THEY'RE LIKE,
126
00:07:35,155 --> 00:07:36,521
"MAGGIE COOPER, GET OUT!"
127
00:07:36,523 --> 00:07:40,058
I DO YOGA AND PILATES
AND YOGALATES.
128
00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:42,461
YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I DO?
POLE DANCING.
129
00:07:42,463 --> 00:07:45,297
I LOVE TO POLE DANCE.
130
00:07:45,299 --> 00:07:48,467
I GO UP AND DOWN THAT POLE.
I JUST LOVE IT.
131
00:07:48,469 --> 00:07:50,068
MISS COOPER, YOU NEED TO TAKE
THIS SERIOUSLY, OKAY?
132
00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:51,169
OH, YEAH.
YES.
133
00:07:51,171 --> 00:07:52,537
MM-HMM.
134
00:07:52,539 --> 00:07:54,072
MY MOTHER PASSED AWAY
LAST YEAR, OKAY?
135
00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:55,874
AH.
FROM A STROKE.
136
00:07:55,876 --> 00:07:57,509
SHE HAD JUST A FEW
ANXIETY ATTACKS BEFORE
137
00:07:57,511 --> 00:07:59,044
FOR WARNING SIGNS, OKAY?
138
00:07:59,046 --> 00:08:00,679
SO WE NEED
TO TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY.
139
00:08:00,681 --> 00:08:01,913
OKAY.
OKAY.
140
00:08:01,915 --> 00:08:02,981
YEAH, ALL GOOD.
141
00:08:06,553 --> 00:08:08,653
HIS MOTHER?
I, MM, TOLD YOU NOT TO.
142
00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:10,388
HIS DAMN MOTHER?
I WARNED YOU.
143
00:08:10,390 --> 00:08:12,724
OH, MY GOD. THAT WAS AWFUL.
GET THE CAR.
144
00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:14,025
WHAT?
145
00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:15,560
GET THE CAR! LET'S GO!
ALL RIGHT.
146
00:08:15,562 --> 00:08:17,395
WE'RE OUT OF HERE.
GIVE ME THESE.
147
00:08:17,397 --> 00:08:21,166
YOU KNOW, I THINK
YOU WERE WINNING HIM
OVER THERE AT THE END.
148
00:08:27,006 --> 00:08:28,240
MA'AM?
149
00:08:28,242 --> 00:08:29,508
DON'T CALL ME "MA'AM"!
150
00:08:29,510 --> 00:08:31,176
EXCUSE ME!
151
00:08:33,112 --> 00:08:35,013
ALWAYS PREPARED.
152
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:36,615
WHAT WOULD I DO
WITHOUT YOU?
153
00:08:36,617 --> 00:08:38,216
I DON'T KNOW.
154
00:08:38,218 --> 00:08:40,719
AWW, YOU KNOW WHAT?
THESE PILLS DON'T WORK, THOUGH.
155
00:08:40,721 --> 00:08:43,388
THEY JUST ARE...
156
00:08:44,791 --> 00:08:46,591
OKAY. HERE WE GO.
157
00:08:46,593 --> 00:08:48,226
YOU KNOW YOU'RE WEARING
A HOSPITAL GOWN, RIGHT?
158
00:09:06,879 --> 00:09:09,614
EXCUSE ME.
159
00:09:09,616 --> 00:09:10,949
WHAT UP, BOY?
HEY!
160
00:09:10,951 --> 00:09:12,951
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DUDE!
161
00:09:12,953 --> 00:09:14,419
YOU KNOW, I ALMOST DIDN'T
RECOGNIZE YOU
162
00:09:14,421 --> 00:09:15,620
WITHOUT THE DICK
IN YOUR FACE.
163
00:09:15,622 --> 00:09:17,088
WHAT UP, DUDE?
164
00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:18,490
LATER, DOUCHE!
165
00:09:19,393 --> 00:09:21,927
THAT IS GREAT.
166
00:09:21,929 --> 00:09:23,995
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
167
00:09:23,997 --> 00:09:25,664
OH, THANKS, FITCH.
THANKS A LOT, MAN.
168
00:09:25,666 --> 00:09:27,232
YEAH, PROMISE
I WON'T HUG YOU.
169
00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:28,967
SHE TREATS ME
LIKE I'M 10 YEARS OLD.
170
00:09:28,969 --> 00:09:30,802
YEAH, DUDE,
THIS IS A BAD ONE.
I KNOW.
171
00:09:30,804 --> 00:09:32,170
BUT AT LEAST SHE CARES.
172
00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:33,572
YEAH, SHE CARES
A LITTLE BIT TOO MUCH.
173
00:09:33,574 --> 00:09:37,242
THERE'S ANOTHER DICK IN MY FACE.
I GIVE UP.
174
00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:39,778
I HAVE A QUESTION
FOR YOU.
175
00:09:39,780 --> 00:09:42,247
HOW IN THE WORLD
DID YOU FIND THE TIME
176
00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:45,483
TO PLASTER THOSE AWFUL
PICTURES OF ME ALL OVER SCHOOL?
177
00:09:45,485 --> 00:09:47,352
WHAT PICTURES?
178
00:09:47,354 --> 00:09:48,753
THE ONE -- COME ON.
179
00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:50,655
WHO ELSE WAS WITH ME
AT THE DENTIST?
180
00:09:50,657 --> 00:09:51,923
NOBODY.
IT WAS JUST YOU.
181
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:53,425
WHAT HAPPENED
AT THE DENTIST?
182
00:09:53,427 --> 00:09:55,293
THEY'RE THE PICTURES OF ME
WHEN I HAVE THE --
183
00:09:55,295 --> 00:09:56,962
THE, LIKE, GAUZE STUFFED
IN MY MOUTH?
184
00:09:56,964 --> 00:09:58,330
AREN'T THEY GREAT?!
185
00:09:58,332 --> 00:10:00,031
YEAH, NO. THEY'RE AWFUL.
COME ON!
186
00:10:00,033 --> 00:10:01,633
THEY'RE EMBARRASSING.
THAT -- DID EVERYBODY LAUGH?
187
00:10:01,635 --> 00:10:03,268
AT ME.
THEY WERE LAUGHING AT ME.
188
00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:05,203
WELL, IT'S KIND OF FUN.
THAT'S LIKE A LOVE THING.
189
00:10:05,205 --> 00:10:06,538
NO, IT WAS ROUGH.
190
00:10:06,540 --> 00:10:08,340
OH, I'M SO SORRY.
IT WAS A LOT OF THAT.
191
00:10:08,342 --> 00:10:09,841
ON YOUR 17th BIRTHDAY.
I KNOW.
192
00:10:09,843 --> 00:10:11,109
THIS SHOULD BE
A GREAT DAY.
193
00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:12,377
IT SHOULD BE, BUT IT WASN'T.
I'M SO --
194
00:10:12,379 --> 00:10:13,778
IT WAS -- IT WAS HARD.
195
00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:16,348
LET'S PAUSE FOR A MOMENT
AND REMEMBER THE DAY,
196
00:10:16,350 --> 00:10:18,950
FOR ME, THE MOMENT
YOU POPPED OUT OF MY COOCH.
197
00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:20,218
OH, GOD!
198
00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:21,486
WISH TIME.
199
00:10:21,488 --> 00:10:22,787
OKAY. ALL RIGHT.
200
00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:23,888
ALL RIGHT.
201
00:10:26,125 --> 00:10:27,492
OKAY.
OKAY.
202
00:10:27,494 --> 00:10:28,526
ONE WISH.
MM-HMM.
203
00:10:28,528 --> 00:10:29,828
AND I HAVE TO BE IN IT.
204
00:10:29,830 --> 00:10:31,563
YOU ARE. OKAY.
205
00:10:33,032 --> 00:10:35,033
YAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
206
00:10:35,035 --> 00:10:36,901
OH, I DIDN'T GET IT.
I DIDN'T GET IT!
207
00:10:36,903 --> 00:10:39,871
CAN WE BE DONE, PLEASE?
DONE?
208
00:10:39,873 --> 00:10:41,906
IT'S JUST --
IT'S TOO MUCH, MOM.
209
00:10:41,908 --> 00:10:43,375
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
OKAY, READY?
210
00:10:43,377 --> 00:10:45,143
HAPPY BIRTHDAY. OKAY.
OKAY.
211
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:47,879
OKAY. ALL RIGHT.
OKAY, YOU READY?
YEAH. YEAH. MM-HMM.
212
00:10:47,881 --> 00:10:49,581
THREE, TWO, ONE.
TWO, ONE. OKAY.
213
00:10:49,583 --> 00:10:50,882
OKAY.
214
00:10:50,884 --> 00:10:54,052
WE'RE STILL DOING THAT,
BUT -- OKAY.
215
00:10:58,758 --> 00:11:02,027
UH, I THINK YOU NEED
TO CHECK THE PRINTER.
216
00:11:02,029 --> 00:11:03,228
THIS --
THIS PRINTED VERY LIGHT.
217
00:11:03,230 --> 00:11:04,729
WILL YOU CHECK ON THAT?
218
00:11:04,731 --> 00:11:06,197
YEAH, SURE.
THANKS.
219
00:11:06,199 --> 00:11:08,266
UH, SATISFACTORY, FITCH.
220
00:11:08,268 --> 00:11:10,368
STORY OF MY LIFE.
221
00:11:10,370 --> 00:11:12,003
AND THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL,
LLOYD.
222
00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:13,405
THANK YOU.
223
00:11:13,407 --> 00:11:15,707
DO YOU WRITE A LOT
OF POETRY?
NO.
224
00:11:15,709 --> 00:11:17,776
YOU KNOW,
YOU SHOULD DO IT MORE OFTEN.
225
00:11:17,778 --> 00:11:19,210
POETRY?
226
00:11:19,212 --> 00:11:21,446
FAGGOT!
227
00:11:22,716 --> 00:11:24,516
AT LEAST HE CAN READ
228
00:11:24,518 --> 00:11:26,217
AND WRITE, BRAD.
229
00:11:26,219 --> 00:11:28,353
CARRIE, WHAT DO I NEED
TO WRITE FOR, OKAY?
230
00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:29,688
LOOK AT ME.
231
00:11:29,690 --> 00:11:31,790
I GOT A BODY
BUILT FOR SUCCESS.
232
00:11:31,792 --> 00:11:34,959
AND AN I.Q. LOWER
THAN ROOM TEMPERATURE.
233
00:11:34,961 --> 00:11:37,062
YEAH? WELL,
THAT DIDN'T STOP RYAN LOCHTE.
234
00:11:38,265 --> 00:11:41,466
EW. REALLY?
GROSS, BRAD.
235
00:11:41,468 --> 00:11:43,702
LLOYD, DID YOU SUBMIT ANYTHING
TO THE FINE ARTS ASSEMBLY?
236
00:11:43,704 --> 00:11:44,869
NO.
237
00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:46,071
WELL, NOW YOU HAVE.
238
00:11:46,073 --> 00:11:47,605
YOU'RE GOING TO READ THIS.
239
00:11:47,607 --> 00:11:51,042
YOU'VE GOTTA SHARE THIS
WITH AS MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE.
240
00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:52,711
THE THING IS, UH, IS -- IS --
IS LLOYD CAN'T DO CROWDS.
241
00:11:52,713 --> 00:11:54,145
NO.
REALLY, THOUGH.
242
00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:56,414
JUST THINK ABOUT IT.
243
00:11:56,416 --> 00:11:57,816
OKAY, GUYS,
SEE YOU ALL NEXT TIME.
244
00:12:04,090 --> 00:12:07,258
SO, UM, YOU THINK
I COULD MAYBE
245
00:12:07,260 --> 00:12:08,927
READ SOME OF
YOUR STUFF SOMETIME?
246
00:12:08,929 --> 00:12:10,328
I REALLY LIKE POETRY.
247
00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:14,299
UH, NO, NO.
NO, I-IT -- IT'S NOT GOOD.
248
00:12:14,301 --> 00:12:18,470
I DON'T -- I DON'T LIKE, UM,
LIKE SHOWING IT TO ANYBODY.
249
00:12:18,472 --> 00:12:19,571
MUCH LESS
READING IT OUT LOUD.
250
00:12:19,573 --> 00:12:22,941
I CA-- I CAN'T.
WELL, UM...
251
00:12:22,943 --> 00:12:26,811
IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND,
LET ME KNOW.
252
00:12:44,497 --> 00:12:46,331
THANKS, LLOYD.
253
00:12:46,333 --> 00:12:49,000
YEAH, SURE, DREW.
254
00:13:02,648 --> 00:13:04,048
OH.
HEY.
255
00:13:04,050 --> 00:13:05,116
THANK YOU.
256
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:06,618
ARE YOU SEEING ANYONE?
257
00:13:06,620 --> 00:13:07,519
NO.
258
00:13:07,521 --> 00:13:08,720
WHEN WAS YOUR FIRST KISS?
259
00:13:08,722 --> 00:13:10,955
WHAT -- WHAT IS THIS?
260
00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:12,056
DO YOU WANNA BE KISSED?
261
00:13:12,058 --> 00:13:13,291
NO.
OKAY.
262
00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:14,025
OKAY.
263
00:13:14,027 --> 00:13:15,527
OKAY.
264
00:13:15,529 --> 00:13:18,797
OH, YEAH.
I GET IT. OKAY.
265
00:13:23,736 --> 00:13:25,737
I AM NOT HERE.
JUST CLEANING.
266
00:13:25,739 --> 00:13:28,540
JUST GOT STUFF TO DO.
267
00:13:30,744 --> 00:13:33,645
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT
WHEN YOU...
268
00:13:35,816 --> 00:13:37,482
OKAY, THAT'S GROSS.
269
00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:38,750
THAT IS NOT OKAY
TO TALK ABOUT.
270
00:13:38,752 --> 00:13:40,051
WE CANNOT TALK
ABOUT THAT, OKAY?
271
00:13:40,053 --> 00:13:41,719
GOT IT, OKAY. OKAY.
272
00:13:41,721 --> 00:13:43,188
WE DON'T HAVE
TO TALK ABOUT IT.
NO, WE DON'T.
273
00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:46,558
I'M JUST GONNA ASK YOU, THOUGH.
DO YOU...DUST?
274
00:13:46,560 --> 00:13:49,527
I'M NOT GONNA --
I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT...
275
00:13:49,529 --> 00:13:51,095
MASTURBATE-- WITH YOU.
276
00:13:51,097 --> 00:13:52,263
OKAY. GOT IT.
I'M NOT EVEN GONNA...
277
00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:53,698
THAT IS COOL.
I AM TOTALLY OUT.
278
00:13:53,700 --> 00:13:54,699
...DIGNIFY THAT QUESTION
WITH A RESPONSE.
279
00:13:54,701 --> 00:13:56,234
OKAY.
280
00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:01,005
TOO LOUD.
281
00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:03,942
I'M SO SORRY.
I'M -- I'M SO SORRY.
IT'S...
282
00:14:03,944 --> 00:14:06,911
IF YOU LIKE BOYS,
I'M TOTALLY INTO THAT.
283
00:14:06,913 --> 00:14:08,947
IF I WHAT?
I WOULD SUPPORT THAT 100%.
284
00:14:08,949 --> 00:14:10,415
OKAY.
285
00:14:10,417 --> 00:14:12,951
IN MY SOPHOMORE YEAR,
I HAD A THING WITH A GIRL.
286
00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:14,285
I KNOW. MINDY.
MINDY!
287
00:14:14,287 --> 00:14:15,854
I KNOW.
YOU LISTENED! GOD.
288
00:14:15,856 --> 00:14:17,288
I'VE HEARD THE STORY
SO MANY TIMES.
289
00:14:17,290 --> 00:14:19,424
THE BEAUTIFUL THING
ABOUT GIRL-ON-GIRL ACTION,
290
00:14:19,426 --> 00:14:21,860
AND BOY-ON-BOY --
THEY KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING.
OKAY, OKAY. NO.
291
00:14:21,862 --> 00:14:23,561
THERE WOULDN'T BE, LIKE,
A MINUTE OF, LIKE,
292
00:14:23,563 --> 00:14:25,797
"HEY, DON'T TOUCH THAT.
THAT'S NOT A BUTTON."
293
00:14:25,799 --> 00:14:26,998
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
MOM? MOM? MOM?
294
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:28,433
CAN I JUST DO MY HOMEWORK,
PLEASE?
295
00:14:28,435 --> 00:14:31,703
WITH BEING A LITTLE WILD
AND FREE IN YOUR YOUTH.
296
00:14:31,705 --> 00:14:33,204
I JUST WANNA GET TO KNOW YOU
A LITTLE BIT BETTER.
297
00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:35,740
OKAY, THEN JOIN THE PTA
LIKE ALL THE OTHER MOMS.
298
00:14:35,742 --> 00:14:38,209
OKAY! I CAN DO THAT!
299
00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:39,811
NOT REALLY.
300
00:14:39,813 --> 00:14:41,112
GOD, I LOVE YOU!
THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.
301
00:14:41,114 --> 00:14:42,881
NO! MOM, NO!
302
00:15:02,134 --> 00:15:04,802
MAKE SURE THAT EVERYBODY
IS CHECKING --
303
00:15:04,804 --> 00:15:09,374
HEY, LADIES! MAGGIE COOPER.
SORRY I'M LATE.
304
00:15:11,310 --> 00:15:13,411
AS I WAS SAYING,
305
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:15,513
PROM WILL BE HERE SOONER
THAN YOU CAN BELIEVE!
306
00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:17,115
CLAP, CLAP, CLAP!
307
00:15:17,117 --> 00:15:19,951
AND, OF COURSE,
I AM KEEPING TRACK
308
00:15:19,953 --> 00:15:22,787
OF YOUR MANDATORY
VOLUNTEER HOURS.
309
00:15:22,789 --> 00:15:25,790
I'M LOOKING AT YOU, NORMA.
YOU HAVE TO BUILD THE HOURS UP.
310
00:15:25,792 --> 00:15:28,326
I'VE NOTICED THAT YOUR CHECKLIST
HAS BEEN DOWN.
311
00:15:30,163 --> 00:15:32,797
OH, FOR GOODNESS SAKE,
312
00:15:32,799 --> 00:15:35,133
IS THAT A DIAPHRAGM
ON OUR BEAUTIFUL TABLE?
313
00:15:35,135 --> 00:15:37,602
IT'S ALL GOOD.
JUST GONNA TAKE NOTES.
314
00:15:39,773 --> 00:15:42,373
I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO
EVERYBODY'S DECORATION IDEAS.
315
00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:44,642
I KNOW LAST YEAR A LOT OF US
WERE IN A SLUMP,
316
00:15:44,644 --> 00:15:46,878
SO I KNOW THIS YEAR
YOU ARE GOING TO WOW ME,
317
00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:48,546
AND I'M VERY EXCITED.
318
00:15:48,548 --> 00:15:50,615
NOW, DON'T FORGET
TO PLEASE MAKE SURE
319
00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:52,550
YOU ARE ON THE CORRECT
E-MAIL LISTS
320
00:15:52,552 --> 00:15:54,185
FOR YOUR RESPECTIVE COMMITTEES.
321
00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:56,321
AND IF ALL OF YOU
HAVEN'T SIGNED UP
322
00:15:56,323 --> 00:15:57,889
AS CHAIR OF COMMITTEES
323
00:15:57,891 --> 00:16:01,159
AND ROPED IN EVERY SINGLE PARENT
FROM EVERY SINGLE CLASS,
324
00:16:01,161 --> 00:16:04,662
IT WILL BE NOTED
BY BARBARA WOLFE.
325
00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:08,433
EXCUSE ME.
WHO'S BARBARA WOLFE?
326
00:16:09,869 --> 00:16:12,904
I AM BARBARA WOLFE!
327
00:16:12,906 --> 00:16:16,507
DR. BARBARA SLOAN
HUNTINGTON WOLFE
328
00:16:16,509 --> 00:16:19,243
OF THE PASADENA
SLOAN HUNTINGTONS!
329
00:16:19,245 --> 00:16:21,245
ALL GOOD.
330
00:16:23,482 --> 00:16:25,583
NAMASTE.
331
00:16:25,585 --> 00:16:28,553
THIS MEETING IS ADJOURNED.
332
00:16:28,555 --> 00:16:31,556
HAS ROBERT COMPLETED
HIS ZIMMERMAN APPLICATIONS?
333
00:16:31,558 --> 00:16:34,192
I HEAR IT IS DUE AT THE END
OF THE MONTH.
334
00:16:34,194 --> 00:16:36,995
YES, AND THE, UH, PETERSON
AND THE O'REILLY.
335
00:16:36,997 --> 00:16:38,730
OH! GOOD FOR ROBERT.
336
00:16:38,732 --> 00:16:40,365
OH, DID YOU
FILL OUT THE F.F.E.L.?
337
00:16:40,367 --> 00:16:42,033
YES, AND THE L.E.A.P.
AND THE S.S.I.G.
338
00:16:42,035 --> 00:16:43,701
OH, MY CARRIE'S
IN THE SAME BOAT.
339
00:16:43,703 --> 00:16:45,570
GOD HELP ME,
IT IS LIKE PULLING TEETH
340
00:16:45,572 --> 00:16:47,271
TO GET HER TO
FINISH THESE THINGS.
341
00:16:47,273 --> 00:16:49,240
WELL,
HASN'T SHE TAKEN THE SATs?
342
00:16:49,242 --> 00:16:50,575
NATIONAL MERIT SCHOLAR.
343
00:16:50,577 --> 00:16:51,943
BARBARA!
THAT'S WONDERFUL.
344
00:16:51,945 --> 00:16:54,545
OH!
I BET YOU GUYS DIDN'T KNOW
345
00:16:54,547 --> 00:16:57,248
THAT HER LITTLE MELANIE
HAD TO FILE FOR FAFSA.
346
00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:58,416
NO.
347
00:16:58,418 --> 00:17:00,385
YES.
348
00:17:00,387 --> 00:17:02,020
THEY AREN'T DOING WELL?
349
00:17:02,022 --> 00:17:04,622
THERE'S NO SHAME IN FILING
FOR FINANCIAL AID, IS THERE?
350
00:17:04,624 --> 00:17:05,857
NO.
351
00:17:05,859 --> 00:17:06,858
NO, OF COURSE NOT,
SWEETHEART.
352
00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:07,859
WELL, DAMN.
353
00:17:07,861 --> 00:17:09,127
EXCUSE ME?
354
00:17:09,129 --> 00:17:11,963
SORRY. I FORGET
WHERE I AM SOMETIMES.
355
00:17:11,965 --> 00:17:14,065
SORRY ABOUT THAT.
MAGGIE COOPER.
356
00:17:14,067 --> 00:17:15,566
HOW YOU GUYS DOIN'?
357
00:17:15,568 --> 00:17:18,302
UM, I'M LLOYD'S MOM.
358
00:17:18,304 --> 00:17:20,405
OUR KIDS ARE FRIE--
MAYBE YOU --
359
00:17:20,407 --> 00:17:22,373
YOUR KIDS ARE FRIENDS
WITH MY SON, LLOYD?
360
00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:25,243
WHAT ACTIVITIES
DOES HE DO?
361
00:17:25,245 --> 00:17:26,744
WHAT ACTIVITIES
ARE THERE?
362
00:17:26,746 --> 00:17:31,049
UM, CLUBS, ATHLETICS,
EXTRACURRICULARS --
363
00:17:31,051 --> 00:17:32,817
STUDENT GOVERNMENT,
DEBATE, MATHLETES.
364
00:17:32,819 --> 00:17:34,552
HE READS A LOT.
365
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:36,888
WELL, THEN HE'S PROBABLY NOT
FRIENDS WITH OUR CHILDREN.
366
00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:39,657
WELL, I'M HERE TO CHANGE THAT!
THAT'S WHAT I'M DOING!
367
00:17:39,659 --> 00:17:41,559
I AM HERE TO VOLUNTEER
FOR STUFF.
368
00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:42,894
I CAN BE
ON PROM COMMITTEE.
369
00:17:42,896 --> 00:17:44,429
I JUST WANNA BE MORE INVOLVED
IN HIS SCHOOL
370
00:17:44,431 --> 00:17:46,330
BEFORE HE LEAVES
FOR COLLEGE, YOU KNOW?
371
00:17:46,332 --> 00:17:48,099
SO, UH, SIGN ME UP.
WHATCHA GOT?
372
00:17:48,101 --> 00:17:49,967
IF WE NEED SOMETHING,
I'LL LET YOU KNOW.
373
00:17:49,969 --> 00:17:51,402
SO WHAT DO YOU GUYS
WANNA DO NOW?
374
00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:52,904
WANNA GO GET A DRINK?
375
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:57,141
OKAY, WH-WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO DO
IS SHOW UP NEXT WEEK,
376
00:17:57,143 --> 00:18:00,344
ON TIME, SIT DOWN QUIETLY,
PREFERABLY BY THE DOOR,
377
00:18:00,346 --> 00:18:03,414
SO I CAN ASK YOU TO LEAVE IF
YOU CAUSE ANOTHER DISTURBANCE.
378
00:18:05,284 --> 00:18:07,251
- THOSE BITCHES.
- THE NERVE.
379
00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:08,953
JUST BECAUSE LLOYD'S
A LITTLE BOOKISH
380
00:18:08,955 --> 00:18:11,255
DOESN'T MEAN THEIR KIDS
ARE ANY BETTER.
EXACTLY.
381
00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:12,790
BUT IT DID GET ME THINKING,
THOUGH,
382
00:18:12,792 --> 00:18:14,592
WHAT AM I GONNA DO
ABOUT LLOYD'S FINANCIAL AID?
383
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:15,927
DO YOU KNOW
HOW MUCH COLLEGE IS?
384
00:18:15,929 --> 00:18:16,961
A HUNDRED GRAND.
385
00:18:19,199 --> 00:18:21,632
I THOUGHT IT WAS LIKE 30.
386
00:18:21,634 --> 00:18:24,769
WHAT AM I GONNA DO IF HE GETS
INTO AN IVY LEAGUE SCHOOL?
387
00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:27,171
YOU REALLY WANT HIM GOING
SOME FAR AWAY FROM HOME?
388
00:18:27,173 --> 00:18:28,439
NO, I DO NOT.
389
00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:30,108
I GOTTA GET CREATIVE.
390
00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:31,609
I GOTTA THINK.
391
00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:33,544
THERE ARE SCHOLARSHIPS
AVAILABLE,
392
00:18:33,546 --> 00:18:35,446
BUT THE COMPETITION
IS FIERCE.
393
00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:37,381
IT'S A SHAME HE'S NOT
A MINORITY.
394
00:18:37,383 --> 00:18:41,152
THEY HAVE TONS OF
SCHOLARSHIPS FOR MINORITIES.
395
00:18:41,154 --> 00:18:44,655
LATINO, AFRICAN AMERICAN,
WOMEN, AMPUTEES,
396
00:18:44,657 --> 00:18:47,792
ALBINOS,
PACIFIC ISLANDERS.
397
00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:50,728
AH, I SHOULD'VE MARRIED RAY!
UGH!
398
00:18:50,730 --> 00:18:52,897
RAY? WHO'S RAY?
399
00:18:52,899 --> 00:18:56,834
HE IS A SAMOAN GUY THAT I DATED
IN HIGH SCHOOL.
400
00:18:56,836 --> 00:19:00,004
THAT DUDE COULD BEND MY LEGS
OVER MY HEAD.
401
00:19:00,006 --> 00:19:01,072
YOU ARE MY HERO.
402
00:19:01,074 --> 00:19:03,174
LLOYD WOULD BE
HALF PACIFIC ISLANDER.
403
00:19:03,176 --> 00:19:04,709
SHOULD'VE MARRIED RAY,
NOT MAX.
404
00:19:04,711 --> 00:19:07,512
THEY EVEN HAVE SCHOLARSHIPS
FOR GAYS.
405
00:19:07,514 --> 00:19:10,014
REALLY?
406
00:19:10,016 --> 00:19:12,416
YOU KNOW, I CAN'T FIGURE OUT
IF LLOYD IS GAY OR STRAIGHT.
407
00:19:12,418 --> 00:19:14,819
AND CAN YOU BELIEVE HE WON'T
TALK TO ME ABOUT IT?
408
00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:17,021
WOULD YOU HAVE A PROBLEM
IF HE WAS?
409
00:19:17,023 --> 00:19:19,157
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I'D BE THRILLED.
410
00:19:19,159 --> 00:19:19,824
WHY?
411
00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:21,058
WHY?
412
00:19:21,060 --> 00:19:22,393
BECAUSE HE'D BE THE ONLY MAN
413
00:19:22,395 --> 00:19:23,661
WHO NEVER LEFT ME
FOR ANOTHER WOMAN.
414
00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:25,429
YOU KNOW HOW GREAT
THAT WOULD BE?
415
00:19:25,431 --> 00:19:27,265
HE'D BE JUST WITH ME
ALL THE TIME.
416
00:19:27,267 --> 00:19:30,902
OH, MY GOD. MY GAY SON AND ME
GOING PURSE SHOPPING.
417
00:19:30,904 --> 00:19:32,670
HOW GREAT WOULD THAT BE?
418
00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:34,105
I COULD BE WALKING DOWN
THE STREET,
419
00:19:34,107 --> 00:19:35,940
GOING TO THE THEATER
WITH MY GAY SON,
420
00:19:35,942 --> 00:19:38,009
LIKE, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
"OH, JUST GOING TO THE THEATER!
421
00:19:38,011 --> 00:19:39,911
"THIS IS MY GAY SON.
HE'S TAKING ME TO THE THEATER!
422
00:19:39,913 --> 00:19:42,046
HE'S TAKING ME TO THE OPERA!
I'M GOING TO THE OPERA
WITH MY GAY SON!"
423
00:19:42,048 --> 00:19:44,215
JUST WALKIN'--
I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW
YOU LIKED THE OPERA.
424
00:19:44,217 --> 00:19:46,584
I HAVE NEVER BEEN TO THE OPERA,
AND I WOULD HATE IT,
425
00:19:46,586 --> 00:19:48,252
BUT I WOULD BE THERE
WITH MY GAY SON.
426
00:19:48,254 --> 00:19:49,687
AND THAT WOULD BE
SO GREAT.
427
00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:52,390
MY SON'S NOT GAY.
HE DOESN'T LIKE PESTO.
428
00:19:52,392 --> 00:19:54,959
YEAH, HE'S SO NOT GAY.
429
00:21:02,495 --> 00:21:05,663
RELAX, MAN,
YOU'RE MAKING ME NERVOUS.
430
00:21:05,665 --> 00:21:07,265
SHE'S NOWHERE IN SIGHT.
YEAH, NOT YET.
431
00:21:14,374 --> 00:21:15,773
LLOYD,
ARE YOU READY?
432
00:21:15,775 --> 00:21:17,541
UM, I'M REALLY NERVOUS.
433
00:21:17,543 --> 00:21:19,477
WELL, I'M VERY PROUD OF YOU
FOR DOING THIS.
434
00:21:25,518 --> 00:21:28,286
LET'S GIVE THEM ANOTHER ROUND
OF APPLAUSE.
435
00:21:28,288 --> 00:21:29,820
WASN'T THAT AMAZING?
436
00:21:29,822 --> 00:21:32,556
WHO KNEW WE HAD SO MUCH TALENT
AT THIS SCHOOL?
437
00:21:32,558 --> 00:21:34,659
NEXT UP,
YOU KNOW THEM WELL --
438
00:21:34,661 --> 00:21:36,494
IT'S THE GIRLS' DANCE SQUAD.
439
00:21:47,472 --> 00:21:48,873
JUST TAKE A BREATH,
YOU'LL BE FINE.
440
00:21:48,875 --> 00:21:50,241
YOUR POEM IS BEAUTIFUL.
441
00:21:50,243 --> 00:21:52,209
YOU GOT THIS.
442
00:21:52,211 --> 00:21:54,545
OH, OKAY.
DEEP BREATHS.
443
00:22:12,831 --> 00:22:15,733
OKAY, UM, NEXT UP
WE'VE GOT A POEM
444
00:22:15,735 --> 00:22:18,602
FROM MRS. MOORE'S ENGLISH CLASS.
445
00:22:21,774 --> 00:22:22,940
YOU'LL BE FINE.
I CAN'T.
446
00:22:22,942 --> 00:22:24,742
COME ON!
447
00:22:27,947 --> 00:22:29,613
COME OUT HERE.
448
00:22:29,615 --> 00:22:30,915
- DOUCHE BAG, COME OUT!
- HE'LL BE FINE.
449
00:22:30,917 --> 00:22:33,551
HEY, KID, COME ON.
450
00:22:33,553 --> 00:22:35,252
HE'S COMING.
SOMETIME TODAY.
451
00:22:37,889 --> 00:22:40,024
SERIOUSLY.
OH!
452
00:22:40,026 --> 00:22:42,526
Sorry! Love you!
453
00:22:42,528 --> 00:22:44,095
JUST GO UP TO THE MIC
RIGHT THERE.
454
00:22:44,097 --> 00:22:46,597
HEY, PRETTY BOY!
455
00:22:46,599 --> 00:22:49,700
OKAY, OKAY.
456
00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:55,206
HEY, JUNIOR.
457
00:23:00,213 --> 00:23:02,079
- WHAT IS HE DOING?
- COME ON, LLOYD.
458
00:23:02,081 --> 00:23:04,648
SPIT IT OUT!
COME ON, SHAKESPEARE.
SHOW US WHAT YOU GOT!
459
00:23:10,322 --> 00:23:11,756
GET OFF THE STAGE,
QUEER!
460
00:23:16,229 --> 00:23:17,294
MOM?
461
00:23:18,897 --> 00:23:22,433
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
462
00:23:22,435 --> 00:23:23,934
NOW IT'S A TALENT SHOW.
463
00:23:23,936 --> 00:23:26,437
GO AHEAD. JUST TAKE A BREATH.
TAKE A BREATH.
464
00:23:26,439 --> 00:23:27,471
JUST HOLD UP.
JUST DON'T GO ANYWHERE.
OH, MY GOD.
LOOK AT HER GOLD SHOES!
465
00:23:27,473 --> 00:23:30,574
EVERYONE, SHUT UP.
466
00:23:30,576 --> 00:23:33,611
MY SON IS GOING TO READ A POEM.
GO AHEAD, LLOYD.
467
00:23:33,613 --> 00:23:34,745
DID YOUR MOM
BRING YOUR BOTTLE?!
468
00:23:34,747 --> 00:23:36,013
WHO IS THAT?
469
00:23:36,015 --> 00:23:38,582
WHO'S THAT? HMM?
470
00:23:38,584 --> 00:23:40,651
OH. OH, YEAH, IT'S YOU.
471
00:23:40,653 --> 00:23:43,287
YEAH, WELL, YOU ARE RUINING IT
FOR EVERYONE, OKAY?
472
00:23:43,289 --> 00:23:45,089
STAND UP, SHOW YOURSELF.
LET'S SEE YOU.
473
00:23:45,091 --> 00:23:47,158
YEAH, YOU THINK IT'S OKAY
TO CALL PEOPLE NAMES,
474
00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:48,426
YOU LITTLE TURD?
475
00:23:50,696 --> 00:23:52,797
YOU THINK IT'S OKAY
TO CALL PEOPLE...
476
00:23:52,799 --> 00:23:54,832
GAY?
477
00:23:54,834 --> 00:23:56,801
HIS POETRY IS BEAUTIFUL.
478
00:23:56,803 --> 00:23:58,936
IT'S NOT WHAT YOU PEOPLE
ARE WRITING --
479
00:23:58,938 --> 00:24:00,471
UNICORNS AND BONERS.
480
00:24:02,375 --> 00:24:04,141
GO TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE.
481
00:24:04,143 --> 00:24:07,344
THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE?
YOU DON'T EVEN WORK HERE.
482
00:24:07,346 --> 00:24:09,146
I CAN HANDLE THIS,
MRS. COOPER!
483
00:24:09,148 --> 00:24:11,348
SO IT'S ONLY THE TEACHERS WHO
CAN GIVE ORDERS AROUND HERE?
484
00:24:11,350 --> 00:24:12,450
ACTUALLY, YES.
THAT'S TRUE.
485
00:24:12,452 --> 00:24:13,951
OH, UH, OKAY,
OH, PLEASE.
486
00:24:13,953 --> 00:24:15,553
AS IF YOU'D TREAT BARBARA WOLF
LIKE THIS.
487
00:24:15,555 --> 00:24:17,354
BARBARA WOLF WOULD BE LIKE,
"OH, I'M GONNA TALK."
488
00:24:17,356 --> 00:24:19,290
BARBARA WOLF WOULD NOT BE
ON STAGE RIGHT NOW.
489
00:24:19,292 --> 00:24:20,991
SECURITY!
WE DON'T KNOW THAT FOR SURE.
490
00:24:20,993 --> 00:24:24,028
I WANNA SAY SOMETHING
ABOUT POETRY.
HEY!
491
00:24:24,030 --> 00:24:25,396
EXCUSE ME?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
492
00:24:27,333 --> 00:24:29,366
BRAVO!
493
00:24:34,039 --> 00:24:36,173
UM...
494
00:24:39,512 --> 00:24:42,346
NOW, BAILING YOUR MOTHER
OUT OF JAIL, THAT'S A FIRST.
495
00:24:42,348 --> 00:24:44,515
USED TO BE
THE OTHER WAY AROUND.
496
00:24:44,517 --> 00:24:45,516
YEAH, 17 TIMES.
497
00:24:45,518 --> 00:24:47,251
17 TIMES, WHAT?
498
00:24:47,253 --> 00:24:50,187
UH, THE NUMBER OF TIMES MOM
HAS BAILED YOU OUT OF JAIL.
499
00:24:50,189 --> 00:24:50,988
THAT MANY TIMES?
500
00:24:50,990 --> 00:24:53,357
YEAH. THAT I KNOW OF.
501
00:24:53,359 --> 00:24:56,694
I WAS CONVICTED ONCE.
PUBLIC NUISANCE.
502
00:24:56,696 --> 00:24:58,596
I MEAN, REALLY.
I'M A ROCK STAR.
503
00:24:58,598 --> 00:25:02,533
THAT WAS A LONG, LONG,
LONG TIME AGO, MAX.
504
00:25:02,535 --> 00:25:05,269
I STILL TOUR.
505
00:25:05,271 --> 00:25:07,538
INDIAN CASINOS.
506
00:25:08,941 --> 00:25:10,441
THINGS CHANGE.
507
00:25:10,443 --> 00:25:12,943
OH, I KNOW. I WENT TO MY FIRST
PTA MEETING LAST WEEK.
508
00:25:12,945 --> 00:25:15,045
ALL RIGHT.
509
00:25:15,047 --> 00:25:16,680
THAT'S PRETTY FUNNY.
510
00:25:16,682 --> 00:25:20,384
AM I, UH...
511
00:25:20,386 --> 00:25:22,453
COMIN' IN?
512
00:25:22,455 --> 00:25:23,954
NO JAIL JOKES.
513
00:25:23,956 --> 00:25:25,789
I WAS JUST ABOUT --
514
00:25:25,791 --> 00:25:28,459
OH, YEAH, I SAW YOU FORMING IT!
DON'T EVEN!
515
00:25:28,461 --> 00:25:30,895
SO I WAS THINKING, LIKE,
BLOND STREAK, BLACK STREAK,
516
00:25:30,897 --> 00:25:32,129
BLOND STREAK, BLACK STREAK.
517
00:25:32,131 --> 00:25:33,397
1987.
518
00:25:33,399 --> 00:25:35,566
WHAT?
YOU LOVED IT.
519
00:25:35,568 --> 00:25:37,568
MM.
IT WAS HOT.
520
00:25:37,570 --> 00:25:39,270
1987.
521
00:25:39,272 --> 00:25:40,804
DOESN'T MATTER. IT'S MY LOOK.
I'M GONNA ROCK IT HARD.
522
00:25:40,806 --> 00:25:42,273
I MIGHT EVEN DO IT TONIGHT.
523
00:25:42,275 --> 00:25:44,475
I'M GONNA DO IT
WITH MY MUSTACHE BLEACH.
524
00:25:44,477 --> 00:25:46,710
OKAY. MM. ALL RIGHT.
I'M GONNA GO TO BED.
525
00:25:46,712 --> 00:25:49,446
YOU GUYS TRY NOT TO GET ARRESTED
WHILE I'M GONE, OKAY?
526
00:25:49,448 --> 00:25:50,981
YES, DAD.
527
00:25:50,983 --> 00:25:52,049
HA HA.
528
00:25:52,051 --> 00:25:53,517
I was just gonna say...
529
00:26:10,602 --> 00:26:12,169
WE GOTTA TALK ABOUT LLOYD.
530
00:26:12,171 --> 00:26:13,304
WHY? HE'S A GREAT KID.
531
00:26:13,306 --> 00:26:14,572
HE IS A GREAT KID.
532
00:26:14,574 --> 00:26:16,607
I DON'T KNOW HOW IT HAPPENED,
BUT...
533
00:26:16,609 --> 00:26:19,343
AND...
534
00:26:19,345 --> 00:26:22,079
OUR SON'S GAY.
535
00:26:22,081 --> 00:26:24,982
MY SON...GAY?
536
00:26:24,984 --> 00:26:26,283
OUR SON.
537
00:26:26,285 --> 00:26:27,952
YEAH, OKAY.
OUR SON, GAY?
538
00:26:27,954 --> 00:26:30,287
I DON'T GET THE GAY VIBE
AT ALL FROM HIM.
539
00:26:30,289 --> 00:26:32,957
WELL, SEE, I THINK THAT IS
EXACTLY WHAT THE PROBLEM IS.
540
00:26:32,959 --> 00:26:34,959
I THINK THAT HE DOESN'T WANT
TO COME OUT
541
00:26:34,961 --> 00:26:37,595
TO HIS SUPER-HETERO DAD
'CAUSE HE'LL DISAPPOINT YOU.
542
00:26:38,597 --> 00:26:41,865
I WOULDN'T --
I WOULDN'T BE DISAPPOINTED.
543
00:26:41,867 --> 00:26:43,200
ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT?
544
00:26:43,202 --> 00:26:45,269
YEAH, NO,
I JUST DON'T THINK HE IS.
545
00:26:45,271 --> 00:26:47,538
YOU GOTTA TRUST A MOM
ON THIS ONE, OKAY?
546
00:26:47,540 --> 00:26:49,139
WHATEVER YOU SAY.
547
00:26:49,141 --> 00:26:52,876
OKAY. TALK TO HIM.
TELL HIM YOU'RE OKAY WITH IT.
548
00:26:52,878 --> 00:26:54,678
FOR 10 YEARS
YOU'VE BEEN SAYING,
549
00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:56,513
"I DON'T WANT YOU
TO TALK TO HIM.
550
00:26:56,515 --> 00:26:57,781
YOU'RE A BAD INFLUENCE."
551
00:26:57,783 --> 00:26:59,516
10 YEARS, AT LEAST!
552
00:26:59,518 --> 00:27:02,319
NOW YOU WANT ME
TO TALK TO HIM?
553
00:27:04,857 --> 00:27:08,292
THINGS CHANGE, OKAY?
554
00:27:11,162 --> 00:27:13,864
OKAY. OKAY.
555
00:27:15,300 --> 00:27:18,002
NOW SHOO. GO, GO, PLEASE.
556
00:27:18,004 --> 00:27:19,169
FASTER.
557
00:27:19,171 --> 00:27:21,071
MAGGIE?
558
00:27:21,073 --> 00:27:22,172
COME HERE, PLEASE.
559
00:27:22,174 --> 00:27:24,575
RIGHT THERE?
YES.
560
00:27:24,577 --> 00:27:26,477
PLEASE.
561
00:27:26,479 --> 00:27:29,380
YOU KNOW, I'M SORRY
THAT I MISSED YOUR SCENE
562
00:27:29,382 --> 00:27:31,815
AT THE ARTS FESTIVAL
THE OTHER DAY.
563
00:27:31,817 --> 00:27:33,350
OH, YOU HEARD ABOUT ME.
564
00:27:33,352 --> 00:27:34,652
STOP RIGHT THERE.
THAT'S FINE.
565
00:27:34,654 --> 00:27:36,053
UNFORTUNATELY, I DID.
566
00:27:36,055 --> 00:27:38,155
IT SEEMS THAT YOU MENTIONED ME
TO MRS. MOORE?
567
00:27:38,157 --> 00:27:41,392
I GET WORKED UP SOMETIMES.
SORRY.
568
00:27:41,394 --> 00:27:44,328
THAT IS IN THE PAST,
IT IS BEHIND ME,
569
00:27:44,330 --> 00:27:46,530
AND I'M JUST TURNING OVER
A NEW LEAF,
570
00:27:46,532 --> 00:27:49,366
AND LET'S JUST MOVE ON
AND DO THE PROM STUFF, OKAY?
571
00:27:49,368 --> 00:27:51,769
MRS. MOORE TOLD ME THAT YOUR SON
SEEMS SENSITIVE.
572
00:27:51,771 --> 00:27:55,205
YES, HE IS. SENSITIVE.
573
00:27:55,207 --> 00:27:57,174
MM, SENSITIVE-LOOKING.
574
00:27:57,176 --> 00:27:58,909
IS THAT CODE?
575
00:27:58,911 --> 00:28:01,412
IT SEEMS THAT THIS MIGHT BE
A WONDERFUL TIME FOR YOUR SON,
576
00:28:01,414 --> 00:28:03,580
WHO'S VERY SENSITIVE,
TO START MAYBE HIS OWN CLUB.
577
00:28:03,582 --> 00:28:05,349
MAYBE
A SENSITIVE BOYS' CLUB.
578
00:28:05,351 --> 00:28:06,784
OR A GAY CLUB!
579
00:28:06,786 --> 00:28:08,118
A GAY CLUB.
580
00:28:08,120 --> 00:28:09,253
WHAT WOULD THEY DO THERE?
581
00:28:09,255 --> 00:28:10,521
NEEDLEPOINT.
582
00:28:10,523 --> 00:28:12,189
CHOREOGRAPHY.
583
00:28:12,191 --> 00:28:13,624
POETRY?
584
00:28:13,626 --> 00:28:15,559
ANYTHING THAT A SEAMSTRESS
WOULD DO.
585
00:28:15,561 --> 00:28:17,194
I MEAN, SURE. WHY NOT?
586
00:28:17,196 --> 00:28:18,696
'CAUSE ALL THE BEST FASHION
DESIGNERS ARE GAY MEN,
587
00:28:18,698 --> 00:28:20,564
SO I WOULD LOVE THAT.
588
00:28:20,566 --> 00:28:22,299
HE COULD BE MARC JACOBS
OR THE NEXT MICHAEL KORS.
THAT'S TRUE.
589
00:28:22,301 --> 00:28:24,034
HE COULD BE
ON "PROJECT RUNWAY" GOING,
590
00:28:24,036 --> 00:28:25,936
"HI, GUYS."
I WOULD LOVE IT.
591
00:28:25,938 --> 00:28:28,405
I GUESS BECAUSE
I'M A SINGLE MOM, MY SON AND I,
592
00:28:28,407 --> 00:28:30,074
WE HANG OUT A LOT
593
00:28:30,076 --> 00:28:32,242
AND WE JUST HAVE A REALLY CLOSE
RELATIONSHIP WHICH IS --
594
00:28:32,244 --> 00:28:34,578
MAYBE IT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS
WITH GAY SONS,
595
00:28:34,580 --> 00:28:36,547
AND WE'RE PROBABLY
JUST GONNA HAVE, LIKE, A --
596
00:28:36,549 --> 00:28:38,549
JUST A GREAT LIFE,
GO OFF ON CRUISES,
597
00:28:38,551 --> 00:28:39,983
AND I'M SURE
HE'LL TAKE ME TO PARIS,
598
00:28:39,985 --> 00:28:41,285
AND I-I'LL TELL YOU
SOMETHING ELSE, TOO --
599
00:28:41,287 --> 00:28:42,886
I BET I'LL BE
THE BEST DRESSED MOM
600
00:28:42,888 --> 00:28:44,722
IN THE ASSISTED-LIVING FACILITY
IN SOUTH BEACH.
601
00:28:44,724 --> 00:28:46,757
HE'LL JUST PARK ME THERE.
IT'LL BE GREAT.
602
00:28:46,759 --> 00:28:48,292
SHOULD WE TALK ABOUT THE PROM,
MAYBE?
603
00:28:48,294 --> 00:28:49,727
YES.
YEAH.
604
00:28:49,729 --> 00:28:51,128
BARBARA WOLF ALWAYS FEELS LIKE
605
00:28:51,130 --> 00:28:52,463
PEOPLE WHO ARE SENSITIVE
606
00:28:52,465 --> 00:28:54,465
MAYBE SHOULD HAVE
THEIR OWN SENSITIVE PROM.
607
00:28:54,467 --> 00:28:59,770
PERHAPS YOUR SON SHOULD HAVE
HIS OWN GAY PROM.
608
00:28:59,772 --> 00:29:01,238
IT COULD BE
RAINBOW THEMED!
609
00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:02,740
OR SPARKLES.
OH! I LOVE SPARKLES.
610
00:29:02,742 --> 00:29:03,841
THESE GIRLS HAVE GREAT IDEAS
FOR GAYS.
611
00:29:03,843 --> 00:29:05,175
MY SON'S COMING TO THIS PROM.
612
00:29:05,177 --> 00:29:07,478
HE'S GONNA BE AT THIS PROM.
613
00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:08,912
IF HE HAS A DATE.
614
00:29:08,914 --> 00:29:11,348
HE'S COMING TO THIS PROM.
IT'S ALL GOOD.
615
00:29:11,350 --> 00:29:13,650
WELL, MAGGIE, GOOD LUCK
WITH YOUR GAY SON
616
00:29:13,652 --> 00:29:15,786
WHO'S GOING TO TAKE YOU
TO PARIS.
617
00:29:15,788 --> 00:29:17,187
IN THE MEANTIME,
618
00:29:17,189 --> 00:29:19,156
MAYBE HE SHOULD TALK TO YOU
ABOUT YOUR HAIR.
619
00:29:19,158 --> 00:29:20,491
IT'S SO NICE.
620
00:29:20,493 --> 00:29:22,526
WELL, THANK YOU.
621
00:29:22,528 --> 00:29:23,861
I WASN'T COMPLIMENTING YOU.
GIRLS?
622
00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:29,299
OUCH!
623
00:29:29,301 --> 00:29:30,467
WOW!
624
00:29:30,469 --> 00:29:33,036
OKAY.
625
00:29:33,038 --> 00:29:35,606
WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?
626
00:29:35,608 --> 00:29:37,274
UNBELIEVABLE.
627
00:29:37,276 --> 00:29:39,143
THEY'RE OUT FOR ME,
RIGHT?
628
00:29:39,145 --> 00:29:41,178
YEAH.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
629
00:29:41,180 --> 00:29:43,147
OH, BARBARA WOLF
FINALLY GAVE ME A JOB.
630
00:29:43,149 --> 00:29:45,015
I GET TO CLEAN UP
AFTER THE MEETING.
631
00:29:45,017 --> 00:29:46,483
HEY, I'LL SEE YOU BACK
AT YOUR HOUSE, RIGHT?
632
00:29:46,485 --> 00:29:49,186
YES, PLEASE.
BRING BOOZE.
633
00:29:49,188 --> 00:29:52,956
AND A TRANQUILIZER DART.
634
00:30:10,375 --> 00:30:13,377
"MY NAME IS BARBARA WOLF.
635
00:30:14,979 --> 00:30:17,681
"PRESIDENT OF THE WORLD
AND THE PTA.
636
00:30:17,683 --> 00:30:19,683
"MY NAME IS BARBARA WOLF.
637
00:30:19,685 --> 00:30:22,719
"I DO NOT HAVE ANY VEINS
IN MY BODY.
638
00:30:22,721 --> 00:30:23,921
"MY COOCH IS AN ICICLE.
639
00:30:23,923 --> 00:30:25,722
"My name is Barbara Wolf.
640
00:30:25,724 --> 00:30:28,659
I AM BARBARA WOLF."
AHH!
641
00:30:29,894 --> 00:30:32,162
BARBARA?
642
00:30:53,218 --> 00:30:55,519
CONGRATULATIONS.
643
00:30:55,521 --> 00:30:58,222
I MEAN, I REALLY WISH
YOU WOULD'VE TOLD ME YOURSELF,
644
00:30:58,224 --> 00:30:59,523
SERIOUSLY, BUT CONGRATS.
645
00:30:59,525 --> 00:31:00,924
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
646
00:31:00,926 --> 00:31:02,226
YOUR SCHOLARSHIP
APPLICATION.
647
00:31:02,228 --> 00:31:03,861
THEY POSTED THE FINALISTS
THIS MORNING.
648
00:31:03,863 --> 00:31:05,796
WHAT APPLICATION?
"WHAT APPLICATION?"
649
00:31:05,798 --> 00:31:07,798
YEAH.
COME ON, YOU BIG QUEEN!
650
00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:09,199
YOU DON'T HAVE TO HIDE
IN THE CLOSET ANYMORE.
WHAT?
651
00:31:09,201 --> 00:31:10,767
THAT'S THE POINT, RIGHT?
652
00:31:10,769 --> 00:31:12,903
I'M PRETTY CONFUSED BY
YOUR WHOLE -- YOUR WHOLE THING.
653
00:31:12,905 --> 00:31:14,304
I DON'T...
654
00:31:14,306 --> 00:31:16,039
Y-YOU CAN'T KEEP
PLAYING IT COY, MAN.
655
00:31:16,041 --> 00:31:17,307
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS --
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
656
00:31:17,309 --> 00:31:18,709
THEY POSTED IT.
POSTED WHAT?
657
00:31:22,214 --> 00:31:24,081
GOD, SHE'S TRYING TO GET ME
KILLED. OH, MY GOD.
658
00:31:24,083 --> 00:31:25,549
WHAT?
659
00:31:25,551 --> 00:31:27,050
THERE HE IS!
660
00:31:27,052 --> 00:31:28,919
LLOYD, COME ON UP HERE!
WHAT?
661
00:31:28,921 --> 00:31:29,820
COME ON!
662
00:31:29,822 --> 00:31:30,954
I-I THINK THEY WANT YOU
663
00:31:30,956 --> 00:31:32,256
TO BE IN --
IN PROM COURT!
664
00:31:32,258 --> 00:31:33,757
LET'S LOOK AT YOU.
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
665
00:31:33,759 --> 00:31:34,992
YOU LOOK GREAT.
THIS IS GREAT.
HELP! NO!
666
00:31:34,994 --> 00:31:37,761
IT'S 2014!
BEING GAY IS COOL NOW!
667
00:31:37,763 --> 00:31:40,130
I AM SO PROUD TO WELCOME
668
00:31:40,132 --> 00:31:42,599
OUR VERY FIRST
OPENLY GAY CANDIDATE, LLOYD --
669
00:31:42,601 --> 00:31:43,834
WHAT'S YOUR LAST NAME?
670
00:31:43,836 --> 00:31:45,135
UH, C-C-COOPER.
671
00:31:45,137 --> 00:31:46,403
LLOYD COOPER!
672
00:32:07,458 --> 00:32:09,693
HI.
673
00:32:09,695 --> 00:32:11,862
HEY.
HOW WAS YOUR DAY?
674
00:32:11,864 --> 00:32:13,263
SERIOUSLY, MOM?
WHAT?
675
00:32:13,265 --> 00:32:16,266
DON'T PLAY INNOCENT.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
676
00:32:16,268 --> 00:32:18,635
PROM COURTS?
677
00:32:18,637 --> 00:32:20,637
MOM, MOST OF THE PEOPLE
AT THIS SCHOOL,
678
00:32:20,639 --> 00:32:21,705
THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHO I AM.
679
00:32:21,707 --> 00:32:23,707
THEY DO NOW.
680
00:32:23,709 --> 00:32:25,142
ALSO, THANKS FOR TELLING
THE WHOLE SCHOOL I'M GAY.
681
00:32:25,144 --> 00:32:27,678
WELL, I JUST FIGURED.
COME ON, YOU AND FITCH.
682
00:32:27,680 --> 00:32:30,047
ME AND F--
WHAT?! FITCH?!
683
00:32:30,049 --> 00:32:31,315
HE'S YOUR ONLY FRIEND.
684
00:32:31,317 --> 00:32:33,116
SO WE'RE GAY?
YEAH?
685
00:32:33,118 --> 00:32:35,886
I DON'T HAVE A BOYFRIEND.
I DON'T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND.
686
00:32:35,888 --> 00:32:38,221
ALL I HAVE IS THIS
687
00:32:38,223 --> 00:32:39,723
CRAZY MOM.
688
00:32:39,725 --> 00:32:41,992
THAT'S ALL I HAVE.
689
00:32:47,166 --> 00:32:48,398
ALL RIGHT, NEXT?
690
00:32:48,400 --> 00:32:50,033
HEY.
691
00:32:50,035 --> 00:32:51,668
YES, YOU, LLOYD.
692
00:32:51,670 --> 00:32:53,337
OH, COME HERE.
693
00:32:53,339 --> 00:32:55,038
FIX THAT.
694
00:32:55,040 --> 00:32:56,573
THERE YOU GO.
695
00:32:56,575 --> 00:32:57,841
THANKS.
696
00:32:57,843 --> 00:32:59,509
HAVING FUN?
697
00:32:59,511 --> 00:33:02,379
NO, NOT REALLY.
THIS ISN'T REALLY MY THING.
698
00:33:02,381 --> 00:33:04,181
YEAH.
IT'S A SHIT SHOW.
699
00:33:04,183 --> 00:33:05,549
EXCUSE ME?
700
00:33:05,551 --> 00:33:06,717
OH, I MEAN, COME ON.
701
00:33:06,719 --> 00:33:08,652
PROM COURT, WINTER FORMAL COURT,
SADIE'S, MORP --
702
00:33:08,654 --> 00:33:10,253
IT'S ALL THE SAME
BORING PAGEANT.
703
00:33:10,255 --> 00:33:12,689
YOU'RE NOT LIKE THE OTHER GIRLS,
IF I'M NOT MISTAKEN.
704
00:33:12,691 --> 00:33:14,224
NO.
705
00:33:14,226 --> 00:33:16,093
I CAN'T WAIT FOR THIS ONE
TO BE DONE.
706
00:33:16,095 --> 00:33:18,161
THEN FINALLY MY CRAZY MOM
MIGHT CALM DOWN.
707
00:33:18,163 --> 00:33:19,429
I KNOW
WHAT YOU MEAN THERE.
708
00:33:19,431 --> 00:33:21,531
MY MOM HAD A FULL-ON
ANXIETY ATTACK,
709
00:33:21,533 --> 00:33:22,599
WOULDN'T ADMIT IT.
710
00:33:22,601 --> 00:33:24,401
MY MOM HATES YOUR MOM.
711
00:33:24,403 --> 00:33:26,036
I CAN'T SAY I BLAME HER
FOR THAT.
712
00:33:26,038 --> 00:33:28,572
MY MOM HAS WHAT I LIKE TO CALL
A "POLARIZING" PERSONALITY,
713
00:33:28,574 --> 00:33:30,207
WHICH REALLY
IS JUST A NICE WAY
714
00:33:30,209 --> 00:33:31,908
OF SAYING SHE'S
PROBABLY BIPOLAR.
715
00:33:31,910 --> 00:33:33,710
OH.
IT'S NOT FUNNY.
716
00:33:33,712 --> 00:33:35,045
NO, NO, OF COURSE NOT.
717
00:33:35,047 --> 00:33:37,381
BUT IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL
ANY BETTER...
718
00:33:37,383 --> 00:33:40,617
ANYONE WHO MANAGES TO PISS OFF
MY MOM IS GOOD IN MY BOOK.
719
00:33:40,619 --> 00:33:41,952
ALL RIGHT.
720
00:33:41,954 --> 00:33:43,387
ALL RIGHT,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
721
00:33:43,389 --> 00:33:44,721
SHOULD WE GET THIS
OVER WITH?
722
00:33:44,723 --> 00:33:45,956
YES, PLEASE.
723
00:33:45,958 --> 00:33:48,025
TRY NOT TO TAKE THIS ALL
SO SERIOUSLY.
724
00:33:48,027 --> 00:33:50,293
I'LL TRY.
725
00:33:50,295 --> 00:33:52,629
AND DON'T BE AFRAID TO SAY HI
TO ME ON CAMPUS.
726
00:33:52,631 --> 00:33:54,798
WE'RE FRIENDS NOW.
COME ON.
727
00:33:54,800 --> 00:33:56,533
GREAT.
728
00:33:56,535 --> 00:33:58,668
TRY TO LOOK LIKE
YOU'RE ENJOYING YOURSELVES.
729
00:34:20,426 --> 00:34:23,660
HEY.
730
00:34:23,662 --> 00:34:25,962
HEY.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
731
00:34:25,964 --> 00:34:27,831
YOU ASKED ME
TO TALK TO HIM.
732
00:34:27,833 --> 00:34:30,567
I LIKE THE RED!
733
00:34:30,569 --> 00:34:34,304
RIGHT?
I LOOK GREAT, RIGHT?
734
00:34:34,306 --> 00:34:35,472
I LIKE IT.
735
00:34:35,474 --> 00:34:36,773
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
GET --
736
00:34:36,775 --> 00:34:38,742
WOW!
OKAY, ALL RI--
737
00:34:38,744 --> 00:34:41,078
OKAY. OH, DON'T...
738
00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:42,446
WHY NOT?
739
00:34:42,448 --> 00:34:44,181
OKAY, THAT'S GOOD.
THAT IS SO GOOD.
740
00:34:44,183 --> 00:34:47,017
YEAH, IT IS SO --
SO SOFT.
741
00:34:47,019 --> 00:34:48,785
OH, MY GOD.
742
00:34:48,787 --> 00:34:50,687
OKAY, ALL RIGHT. COME HERE,
I'M GONNA SHOW YOU SOMETHING.
743
00:34:50,689 --> 00:34:51,955
CUT IT OUT!
744
00:34:51,957 --> 00:34:53,657
READY?
745
00:34:53,659 --> 00:34:55,125
YEAH, I'M READY.
746
00:34:55,127 --> 00:34:56,359
THIS!
747
00:34:59,131 --> 00:35:01,198
IT'S A NICE PICTURE.
YEAH.
748
00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:02,799
NOW I NEED
SOME HOBBIES SO...
749
00:35:02,801 --> 00:35:05,001
SO HE DOESN'T SEEM LIKE
SUCH A NERD.
750
00:35:05,003 --> 00:35:07,137
LIKE READING AND TV,
WHAT ELSE DOES HE --
751
00:35:07,139 --> 00:35:08,772
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
752
00:35:08,774 --> 00:35:11,541
I'M CREATING A PROFILE SO HE
DOESN'T GO TO PROM ALONE.
753
00:35:11,543 --> 00:35:13,710
YOU'RE CREATING
A FAKE PROFILE
754
00:35:13,712 --> 00:35:15,378
TO PROCURE YOUNG MEN ONLINE
FOR LLOYD?
755
00:35:15,380 --> 00:35:16,713
KINDA, YEAH.
756
00:35:16,715 --> 00:35:18,615
WHAT -- HAVE YOU SEEN
"TO CATCH A PREDATOR"?
757
00:35:18,617 --> 00:35:20,984
IT'S NOT A FAKE PROFILE
IF YOU KNOW THE PERSON.
758
00:35:20,986 --> 00:35:22,619
I'M JUST GONNA GO THROUGH
THE BEST ONES
759
00:35:22,621 --> 00:35:24,287
AND JUST PICK SOME GUYS
THAT COULD GO --
760
00:35:24,289 --> 00:35:27,791
OKAY, DON'T TELL HIM.
761
00:35:27,793 --> 00:35:30,026
IT JUST SEEMS WRONG.
762
00:35:30,028 --> 00:35:31,928
HEY,
IT'S NOT THAT WRONG.
763
00:35:34,332 --> 00:35:36,399
I'M GONNA GO TALK TO HIM.
764
00:35:38,637 --> 00:35:39,736
- KNOCK KNOCK!
- YEAH?
765
00:35:39,738 --> 00:35:41,138
HAD DINNER?
766
00:35:41,140 --> 00:35:42,873
YEAH.
PERFECT.
767
00:35:42,875 --> 00:35:46,009
LET'S GO OUT
FOR AFTER-DINNER DRINKS.
768
00:35:46,011 --> 00:35:47,878
YOU KNOW I'M 17,
RIGHT?
769
00:35:47,880 --> 00:35:50,847
IF MY SON'S NEARLY OLD ENOUGH
TO BE SHIPPED OFF TO WAR,
770
00:35:50,849 --> 00:35:52,816
HE CAN HAVE A DRINK
WITH HIS DAD.
771
00:35:52,818 --> 00:35:54,985
COME ON, LET'S GO.
I KNOW A PLACE.
772
00:35:59,725 --> 00:36:03,026
AH, CHRISTY.
GOOD EVENING.
773
00:36:03,028 --> 00:36:05,061
WHISKEY FOR ME...
774
00:36:05,063 --> 00:36:06,263
AND ONE FOR LLOYD.
775
00:36:06,265 --> 00:36:07,531
OOH.
776
00:36:07,533 --> 00:36:08,698
WE GONNA DO SHOTS?
777
00:36:08,700 --> 00:36:10,066
YEAH.
778
00:36:10,068 --> 00:36:12,435
YOU KNOW I DON'T DRINK,
RIGHT?
779
00:36:12,437 --> 00:36:14,070
WELL, NOW YOU WILL.
780
00:36:14,072 --> 00:36:16,206
BE A NAUGHTY BOY TONIGHT.
781
00:36:16,208 --> 00:36:19,376
YEAH, THIS IS, UH -- THIS IS
THE FIRST ONE, ACTUALLY.
782
00:36:19,378 --> 00:36:21,678
THIS IS YOUR FIRST DRINK?
783
00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:23,547
YEP.
784
00:36:23,549 --> 00:36:24,915
WELL, THERE'S ALWAYS
GOTTA BE A FIRST.
785
00:36:24,917 --> 00:36:26,183
SURE.
786
00:36:26,185 --> 00:36:28,752
BOTTOMS UP, COWBOYS!
ALL RIGHT.
787
00:36:28,754 --> 00:36:30,921
THANK YOU, COWGIRL.
788
00:36:30,923 --> 00:36:32,856
ALL RIGHT.
789
00:36:35,092 --> 00:36:37,294
MMM!
790
00:36:37,296 --> 00:36:38,762
AHH.
THAT'S A GOOD START.
791
00:36:38,764 --> 00:36:40,263
WHOO!
792
00:36:40,265 --> 00:36:42,132
COME ON, COME ON,
COME ON, COME ON.
793
00:36:42,134 --> 00:36:44,100
YOU DRANK THE WHOLE THING?
COME ON!
794
00:36:44,102 --> 00:36:47,070
OKAY. ALL RIGHT, OKAY.
ALL RIGHT.
795
00:36:47,072 --> 00:36:50,774
WE ARE NOT LEAVING THIS BAR
UNTIL YOU ARE NICE AND DRUNK.
796
00:36:50,776 --> 00:36:52,876
WHOO!
797
00:36:52,878 --> 00:36:54,244
ANOTHER ONE FOR ME.
798
00:36:54,246 --> 00:36:56,379
YOU'RE GOING FOR ANOTHER?
OH, MY GOD!
799
00:36:56,381 --> 00:36:57,814
AND WE ARE GONNA TALK...
800
00:36:57,816 --> 00:37:00,217
AND DRINK,
801
00:37:00,219 --> 00:37:03,720
AND YOU ARE GONNA LOVE IT,
GOD DAMN IT.
802
00:37:03,722 --> 00:37:05,989
BE RIGHT BACK.
ALL RIGHT.
803
00:37:05,991 --> 00:37:09,459
UM...
804
00:37:09,461 --> 00:37:10,727
UH, EXCUSE ME, MISS?
805
00:37:10,729 --> 00:37:13,930
YOU CAN CALL ME CHRISTY,
DARLIN'.
806
00:37:13,932 --> 00:37:17,234
OKAY, UH, CHRISTY,
WHEN YOU POOR OUR SHOTS,
807
00:37:17,236 --> 00:37:19,402
CAN YOU WATER MINE DOWN?
808
00:37:19,404 --> 00:37:21,104
AW, OKAY.
809
00:37:21,106 --> 00:37:24,241
LIKE, MAYBE ALL WATER?
810
00:37:24,243 --> 00:37:26,142
OKAY, HONEY.
PLEASE?
811
00:37:26,144 --> 00:37:27,911
THANK YOU.
812
00:37:29,414 --> 00:37:32,515
SO...
SO...
813
00:37:32,517 --> 00:37:35,085
...GIVE DAD THE 411.
814
00:37:35,087 --> 00:37:36,987
NOBODY SAYS 411 ANYMORE,
DAD,
815
00:37:36,989 --> 00:37:39,122
UNLESS THEY'RE ON
DISNEY CHANNEL.
816
00:37:39,124 --> 00:37:42,025
ALL RIGHT,
CURRENT EVENTS.
817
00:37:42,027 --> 00:37:43,627
FILL ME IN.
818
00:37:43,629 --> 00:37:46,796
LOVE, LIFE,
PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS.
819
00:37:46,798 --> 00:37:50,867
WELL, STEADY AS SHE GOES,
I GUESS.
820
00:37:50,869 --> 00:37:54,471
THAT'S IT?
THAT'S ALL YOU'RE GIVING ME?
821
00:37:54,473 --> 00:37:56,006
COME ON
YOU CAN TALK ABOUT ANYTHING!
822
00:37:56,008 --> 00:37:58,475
YOU CAN TALK ABOUT,
YOU KNOW...
823
00:37:58,477 --> 00:38:01,645
SCHOOL, FRIENDS,
GRADUATION,
824
00:38:01,647 --> 00:38:03,680
LOVE LIFE...
825
00:38:03,682 --> 00:38:05,148
BOYFRIENDS.
826
00:38:05,150 --> 00:38:06,483
GOD, YOU TOO?
827
00:38:06,485 --> 00:38:08,451
DID MOM PUT YOU UP TO THIS
OR SOMETHING?
828
00:38:08,453 --> 00:38:11,288
NO.
ABSOLUTELY NO.
829
00:38:11,290 --> 00:38:12,689
GOOD.
830
00:38:12,691 --> 00:38:14,024
BUT,
IF YOU'RE UNCOMFORTABLE...
831
00:38:14,026 --> 00:38:15,625
NO, IT'S N-- I'M NOT --
832
00:38:15,627 --> 00:38:17,127
NO, REALLY, YOU DON'T HAVE
TO TALK ABOUT IT.
833
00:38:17,129 --> 00:38:18,728
I'M NOT UNCOMFORTABLE
TALKING ABOUT IT,
834
00:38:18,730 --> 00:38:20,230
I JUST -- I HATE EVERYBODY
TRYING TO PUT A LABEL ON ME.
835
00:38:20,232 --> 00:38:22,132
CAN I JUST BE UNDECLARED?
836
00:38:22,134 --> 00:38:26,403
JUST YOU AND ME.
837
00:38:26,405 --> 00:38:32,976
JUST...NOTHING YOU SAY
WILL EVER BE REPEATED.
838
00:38:34,211 --> 00:38:35,645
YOU DO HAVE A QUESTION.
839
00:38:35,647 --> 00:38:37,047
UH...
840
00:38:37,049 --> 00:38:39,716
SPIT 'EM.
841
00:38:39,718 --> 00:38:42,218
HOW DID YOU KNOW
YOU WERE STRAIGHT?
842
00:38:42,220 --> 00:38:45,155
WELL,
THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION.
843
00:38:48,226 --> 00:38:52,595
I GUESS I JUST KNEW.
844
00:38:52,597 --> 00:38:55,532
DID YOU EVER EXPERIMENT
OR ANYTHING?
845
00:38:55,534 --> 00:38:59,002
GUYS HIT ON ME ALL THE TIME.
I MEAN, FOR YEARS.
846
00:38:59,004 --> 00:39:00,570
REALLY?
YEAH.
847
00:39:00,572 --> 00:39:03,840
I MEAN, I -- YOU KNOW,
I KISSED A GUY ONCE,
848
00:39:03,842 --> 00:39:06,343
AND HE FOLLOWED ME
INTO THE BATHROOM.
REALLY?
849
00:39:06,345 --> 00:39:08,511
I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW,
BUT NOTHING REALLY HAPPENED,
850
00:39:08,513 --> 00:39:09,946
YOU KNOW?
NOTHING REALLY...
851
00:39:09,948 --> 00:39:12,882
BUT ENOUGH TO KNOW
YOU DON'T LIKE IT.
852
00:39:12,884 --> 00:39:14,718
OH, I WOULDN'T SAY THAT.
853
00:39:14,720 --> 00:39:18,955
I GUESS I JUST WASN'T
REALLY ATTRACTED TO GUYS.
854
00:39:18,957 --> 00:39:21,758
CAN I ASK YOU
A PERSONAL QUESTION?
855
00:39:21,760 --> 00:39:23,526
WHAT GIVES YOU A BONER?
856
00:39:23,528 --> 00:39:27,530
DAD, I'M 17.
EVERYTHING GIVES ME A BONER.
857
00:39:27,532 --> 00:39:30,533
A SLIGHT CHANGE IN THE WEATHER
GIVES ME A BONER.
858
00:39:30,535 --> 00:39:32,135
CALCULUS GIVES ME A BONER.
859
00:39:32,137 --> 00:39:34,204
I'M NOT KIDDING!
860
00:39:34,206 --> 00:39:36,873
YOU ARE MY SON
AFTER ALL.
861
00:39:36,875 --> 00:39:38,575
NOT REALLY, NOT QUITE, NO.
YES, YOU ARE! YES!
862
00:39:38,577 --> 00:39:41,578
I'M -- I'M A VIRGIN.
YEAH.
863
00:39:41,580 --> 00:39:43,480
WELL, I KNEW THAT.
I SORT OF GUESSED THAT.
864
00:39:43,482 --> 00:39:46,916
NEVER EVEN BEEN KISSED --
BOY OR GIRL.
865
00:39:46,918 --> 00:39:49,119
NO.
NOTHIN'.
866
00:39:49,121 --> 00:39:50,653
OH, MY GOD.
867
00:39:50,655 --> 00:39:54,724
BY YOUR AGE,
I MEAN, JESUS.
868
00:39:54,726 --> 00:39:56,259
MAYBE I'M JUST YOUNG
AND IDEALISTIC,
869
00:39:56,261 --> 00:39:59,462
BUT I-I THINK IT SHOULD MEAN...
SOMETHING.
870
00:39:59,464 --> 00:40:02,999
I MEAN, I TH-- THERE'S MAYBE
THREE PEOPLE I CAN THINK OF
871
00:40:03,001 --> 00:40:05,335
THAT I WOULD EVEN CONTEMPLATE
SLEEPING WITH
872
00:40:05,337 --> 00:40:10,073
WHO ARE NI-- NICE PEOPLE,
ATTRACTIVE PHYSICALLY,
873
00:40:10,075 --> 00:40:11,808
AND, YEAH, ONE OF THEM
HAPPENS TO BE A GUY,
874
00:40:11,810 --> 00:40:13,176
BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN
I'M READY
875
00:40:13,178 --> 00:40:14,811
TO JUMP INTO BED WITH HIM
RIGHT AWAY.
876
00:40:14,813 --> 00:40:20,083
I DON'T KNO-- I DON'T KNOW!
I DON'T KNOW.
877
00:40:20,085 --> 00:40:24,754
ALL RIGHT. COOL.
878
00:40:24,756 --> 00:40:26,823
YOU'RE FINE.
879
00:40:26,825 --> 00:40:30,693
JUST RELAX,
TAKE YOUR TIME.
880
00:40:30,695 --> 00:40:32,462
YOU'LL FIGURE IT OUT.
881
00:40:32,464 --> 00:40:35,031
NO MATTER
WHAT YOU DO OR SAY,
882
00:40:35,033 --> 00:40:37,834
YOU'RE NOT GONNA CHANGE
MY FEELINGS ABOUT YOU.
883
00:40:37,836 --> 00:40:41,271
AND I'VE DONE SOME BAD,
TERRIBLE,
884
00:40:41,273 --> 00:40:44,607
IRRESPONSIBLE THINGS
IN MY LIFE,
885
00:40:44,609 --> 00:40:47,777
AND I-I'M NOT IN A POSITION
TO JUDGE ANYONE ELSE,
886
00:40:47,779 --> 00:40:50,980
LEAST OF ALL MY SON --
887
00:40:50,982 --> 00:40:55,618
OF WHO I AM VERY, VERY PROUD,
BY THE WAY.
888
00:40:55,620 --> 00:41:00,924
THANKS, DAD.
THAT'S...REALLY GOOD TO HEAR.
889
00:41:29,887 --> 00:41:32,489
YES! MOM!
890
00:41:32,491 --> 00:41:34,424
I'M IN HERE!
MOM, MOM, MOM, COME HERE!
891
00:41:34,426 --> 00:41:35,859
YAHOO!
892
00:41:35,861 --> 00:41:37,160
LOOK!
LOOK, LOOK, LOOK, LOOK!
893
00:41:37,162 --> 00:41:38,428
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
894
00:41:38,430 --> 00:41:39,562
LOOK, LOOK, LOOK!
IT'S HERE!
895
00:41:39,564 --> 00:41:40,563
WHAT IS THAT?
READ IT.
896
00:41:40,565 --> 00:41:41,698
RIGHT?
897
00:41:41,700 --> 00:41:43,666
MY GOD!
898
00:41:43,668 --> 00:41:45,268
YEAH, YOU DID!
899
00:41:45,270 --> 00:41:47,103
WE HAVE A GOOD CHANCE
AT THE SCHOLARSHIP, RIGHT?
900
00:41:47,105 --> 00:41:49,873
OF COURSE. YES.
YEAH, WE'LL MAKE IT WORK.
YES. OH, GOD!
901
00:41:49,875 --> 00:41:51,207
OH, I'M SO PROUD OF YOU!
902
00:41:51,209 --> 00:41:52,509
OH, I NEED TO GET
YOU SOME LUGGAGE!
903
00:41:52,511 --> 00:41:54,043
I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU.
ALL RIGHT?
904
00:41:54,045 --> 00:41:56,012
I LOVE YOU, TOO.
OH, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!
905
00:41:56,014 --> 00:41:57,914
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!
I'M SO PROUD!
YEAH!
906
00:41:57,916 --> 00:41:59,349
SO PROUD!
907
00:42:05,856 --> 00:42:07,457
SO THAT'S IT.
THAT'S HIS COLLEGE,
908
00:42:07,459 --> 00:42:09,626
AND YOU GOTTA TRUST ME,
AND YOU CAN'T GET WEIRD.
909
00:42:09,628 --> 00:42:12,195
JUST GO WITH WHAT I DO.
IT'S GONNA BE FUN!
910
00:42:12,197 --> 00:42:13,897
IS THERE BOOZE IN HERE?
911
00:42:13,899 --> 00:42:15,565
HI! WELCOME TO TIN HORN FLATS.
HOW MANY?
912
00:42:15,567 --> 00:42:17,100
OH, TABLE FOR FOUR,
PLEASE.
913
00:42:17,102 --> 00:42:18,368
YOU GOT IT.
THREE.
914
00:42:18,370 --> 00:42:20,870
RIGHT THIS WAY.
WE'RE ACTUALLY FOUR.
915
00:42:20,872 --> 00:42:24,073
WHAT? NO. WHO?
WHAT? WHO'S THE FOURTH?
916
00:42:24,075 --> 00:42:26,242
JUST...NOTHIN'.
WE HAVE FOUR PEOPLE TONIGHT.
917
00:42:26,244 --> 00:42:27,377
MAGGIE...
918
00:42:27,379 --> 00:42:29,379
WHO'S THE FOURTH?
919
00:42:29,381 --> 00:42:30,647
JUST A FRIEND.
920
00:42:30,649 --> 00:42:31,814
WHO?
921
00:42:31,816 --> 00:42:33,716
THEY STACK
ONION RINGS HERE.
922
00:42:33,718 --> 00:42:35,485
HEY.
HI.
923
00:42:35,487 --> 00:42:37,387
AWW, MY FUTURE
EAST COAST RESIDENT.
924
00:42:37,389 --> 00:42:38,588
- HOWDY.
- HI.
925
00:42:38,590 --> 00:42:40,890
HI. WOULD YOU LIKE ME
TO WAIT FOR YOUR WHOLE PARTY
926
00:42:40,892 --> 00:42:42,659
TO ARRIVE
BEFORE I TAKE YOUR ORDER?
927
00:42:42,661 --> 00:42:43,726
WELL, WHY DON'T WE JUST GET
SOME ONION RINGS?
928
00:42:43,728 --> 00:42:45,094
THE BIG TALL STACK
OF THEM,
929
00:42:45,096 --> 00:42:47,630
AND, UM, COULD YOU
GET ME A MARGARITA?
930
00:42:47,632 --> 00:42:48,932
A, JUST -- DO YOU HAVE,
UH, TWO SIZES?
931
00:42:48,934 --> 00:42:50,400
YEAH.
OKAY, I'LL HAVE THE VENTI.
932
00:42:50,402 --> 00:42:52,402
THE LARGE.
YEAH. THANK YOU.
933
00:42:52,404 --> 00:42:53,803
GOT IT, RIGHT AWAY.
934
00:42:53,805 --> 00:42:55,004
IS THERE
SOMEONE ELSE COMING?
935
00:42:55,006 --> 00:42:56,606
JUST A FRIEND
IS COMING TO JOIN US.
936
00:42:56,608 --> 00:42:57,907
YEAH,
AND I JUST WANNA SAY
937
00:42:57,909 --> 00:42:59,509
THAT I DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING
TO DO
938
00:42:59,511 --> 00:43:01,477
WITH ORCHESTRATING THE EVENTS
THAT ARE ABOUT TO OCCUR.
939
00:43:01,479 --> 00:43:04,814
I JUST CAME HERE TO CELEBRATE
YOU GETTING INTO NYU.
940
00:43:04,816 --> 00:43:07,317
MAGGIE, HELLO, DARLING.
YOU MUST BE DAD.
941
00:43:07,319 --> 00:43:09,752
AND THIS MUST BE LLOYD.
942
00:43:09,754 --> 00:43:11,754
HELLO.
YEAH, HI.
943
00:43:11,756 --> 00:43:12,822
PARKER.
LOVELY TO MEET YOU.
944
00:43:12,824 --> 00:43:14,357
HI, PARKER.
945
00:43:14,359 --> 00:43:16,759
DO YOU WANNA ASK,
UM, PARKER
946
00:43:16,761 --> 00:43:19,529
ABOUT, UH,
WHERE HE GOES TO SCHOOL
947
00:43:19,531 --> 00:43:21,931
OR, UM, WHO CUTS
HIS HAIR?
948
00:43:23,168 --> 00:43:24,534
WELL, I GO TO FIDM,
949
00:43:24,536 --> 00:43:26,936
AND I GET MY HAIR CUT
AT CHOP CHOP SALON.
950
00:43:26,938 --> 00:43:28,504
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
951
00:43:28,506 --> 00:43:29,939
UM...
952
00:43:29,941 --> 00:43:32,442
I CUT HIS HAIR.
953
00:43:32,444 --> 00:43:34,944
OH!
THAT'S NICE.
954
00:43:34,946 --> 00:43:36,446
ON FRIDAY,
HE DID HIS OWN BANGS.
955
00:43:37,949 --> 00:43:39,449
ALL RIGHT. UM, WELL,
956
00:43:39,451 --> 00:43:40,850
I THINK I'M JUST GONNA HEAD OVER
TO THE RESTROOM
957
00:43:40,852 --> 00:43:42,485
AND WASH MY HANDS
BEFORE WE HAVE DINNER.
958
00:43:42,487 --> 00:43:43,553
BUT YOU'RE COMING BACK,
RIGHT?
959
00:43:43,555 --> 00:43:44,954
SURE, MM-HMM.
960
00:43:46,323 --> 00:43:48,057
IS THIS SOME KIND
OF FIX-UP DATE?
961
00:43:48,059 --> 00:43:51,394
NO, IT IS JUST
A GATHERING OF FRIENDS.
962
00:43:51,396 --> 00:43:52,562
THAT'S IT.
963
00:43:52,564 --> 00:43:53,896
NO. I'M OUT OF HERE.
NO!
964
00:43:53,898 --> 00:43:55,398
YOU CAN MAKE UP WHATEVER
EXCUSE YOU WANT,
965
00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:56,799
I'M LEAVING.
I'LL SEE YOU LATER, DAD.
966
00:43:56,801 --> 00:43:58,201
LLOYD, PLEASE,
JUST A SECOND!
967
00:43:58,203 --> 00:44:01,004
LLOYD, SCHOLARSHIP, PLEASE!
THE SCHOLARSHIP.
968
00:44:01,006 --> 00:44:03,072
Just come here.
969
00:44:03,074 --> 00:44:04,407
JUST COME HERE.
970
00:44:04,409 --> 00:44:06,542
THE SCHOLARSHIP REP
971
00:44:06,544 --> 00:44:09,312
IS GOING TO ASK YOU QUESTIONS
ABOUT YOUR GAY EXPERIENCE.
972
00:44:09,314 --> 00:44:12,515
I MEAN, DO YOU EVEN
HAVE ANY GAY FRIENDS?
973
00:44:12,517 --> 00:44:15,685
YOU'VE GOT TO KNOW SOMETHING
ABOUT THE GAY LIFESTYLE.
974
00:44:15,687 --> 00:44:19,689
PARKER, I'M SURE, IS FILLED
WITH LOTS OF INSIGHTS.
975
00:44:19,691 --> 00:44:20,723
PLEASE, WILL YOU SIT,
PLEASE?
976
00:44:20,725 --> 00:44:22,225
Just sit down.
977
00:44:25,530 --> 00:44:27,330
ALL RIGHT.
978
00:44:29,900 --> 00:44:32,168
HOW BAD COULD IT GET,
RIGHT?
979
00:44:32,170 --> 00:44:35,838
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT CAME OVER
MITCHELL THE OTHER DAY.
980
00:44:35,840 --> 00:44:37,840
I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE
WE'RE EVEN SERIOUSLY DATING.
981
00:44:37,842 --> 00:44:40,076
IT'S NOT MY FAULT HE LIKES TO
BUY ME EXPENSIVE THINGS, OKAY?
982
00:44:40,078 --> 00:44:41,744
I MEAN, I FEEL LIKE
I'M A PRETTY CHILL GUY.
983
00:44:41,746 --> 00:44:43,746
SO THEN I JUST SAID
TO MYSELF, "PARKER,
984
00:44:43,748 --> 00:44:46,082
"WHAT ARE YOU SO AFRAID OF?
985
00:44:46,084 --> 00:44:48,384
"GUYS ARE SUCH DRAMA QUEENS.
986
00:44:48,386 --> 00:44:50,920
TAKE A DEEP BREATH,"
AND I JUST SAID,
987
00:44:50,922 --> 00:44:52,388
"CHOP IT ALL OFF.
988
00:44:52,390 --> 00:44:54,023
JUST CHOP THIS NAPPY WEAVE
RIGHT OFF MY HEAD."
989
00:44:54,025 --> 00:44:55,525
I'M REALLY EASYGOING.
990
00:44:55,527 --> 00:44:57,193
I'M ALL ABOUT
THE LOW-MAINTENANCE, YOU KNOW?
991
00:44:57,195 --> 00:44:58,561
YEAH, YOU SE-- YOU SEEM
VERY LOW-MAINTENANCE.
992
00:44:58,563 --> 00:45:01,264
THAT IS SO CUTE
HOW AWKWARD HE IS!
993
00:45:01,266 --> 00:45:02,765
AW!
994
00:45:02,767 --> 00:45:04,133
IF YOU NEED ANY SUPPORT
995
00:45:04,135 --> 00:45:06,469
OR ADVICE,
I'M HERE FOR YOU.
996
00:45:06,471 --> 00:45:08,771
I'M INTO
REALLY MASCULINE GUYS,
997
00:45:08,773 --> 00:45:10,573
LIKE, REALLY MANLY GUYS.
998
00:45:10,575 --> 00:45:12,408
REALLY MANLY GUYS.
999
00:45:12,410 --> 00:45:13,609
LIKE, IF I WANTED TO DATE
A GIRL, I WOULD.
1000
00:45:13,611 --> 00:45:15,311
EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE,
1001
00:45:15,313 --> 00:45:16,813
I FIND MYSELF ATTRACTED
1002
00:45:16,815 --> 00:45:19,615
TO SOMEBODY A LITTLE BIT
MORE...ANDROGYNOUS.
1003
00:45:19,617 --> 00:45:21,384
OH, JESUS!
1004
00:45:21,386 --> 00:45:22,485
DAD!
MY GOD!
1005
00:45:22,487 --> 00:45:24,654
REALLY?
I DON'T KNOW.
1006
00:45:24,656 --> 00:45:26,255
I- HE BETTER GO
TO THE BATHROOM.
1007
00:45:26,257 --> 00:45:27,323
YEAH.
1008
00:45:27,325 --> 00:45:29,258
I'LL HELP HIM.
1009
00:45:29,260 --> 00:45:30,793
GEEZ.
1010
00:45:30,795 --> 00:45:32,161
OH, MY GOD,
I HAD NO IDEA
1011
00:45:32,163 --> 00:45:33,596
HOW ELSE TO GET YOU OUT
OF THAT THING.
1012
00:45:33,598 --> 00:45:35,264
YOU COULD'VE JUST ASKED ME
TO EXCUSE MYSELF.
1013
00:45:35,266 --> 00:45:37,900
WELL, OKAY, MAYBE THAT WOULD'VE
BEEN A GOOD IDEA BACK THEN,
1014
00:45:37,902 --> 00:45:39,102
BUT I DIDN'T DO THAT.
1015
00:45:39,104 --> 00:45:41,604
SO THERE. HERE.
THANKS.
1016
00:45:41,606 --> 00:45:44,307
"HI, PARKER." "WHO ARE YOU?"
"I'M PARKER."
1017
00:45:44,309 --> 00:45:46,142
OOH-OOH-OOH!
1018
00:45:46,144 --> 00:45:48,311
I FEEL DUMBER FOR HAVING SAT
THROUGH THAT WHOLE THING.
1019
00:45:48,313 --> 00:45:49,779
MY GOD, SHE'S INSANE!
1020
00:45:49,781 --> 00:45:52,181
THIS IS BEAUTIFUL.
MAYBE I SHOULD TAKE IT.
1021
00:45:52,183 --> 00:45:54,450
COME ON, BE SERIOUS.
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
1022
00:45:54,452 --> 00:45:56,185
YOU WANNA GET OUT OF HERE?
1023
00:45:56,187 --> 00:45:58,988
YEAH! BUT IF WE TRIED ANYTHING,
SHE'D HANDCUFF US TO THE BOOTH.
1024
00:45:58,990 --> 00:46:02,258
JUST HOW DESPERATELY DO YOU
WANNA GET OUT OF HERE?
1025
00:46:04,995 --> 00:46:06,362
WHAT'S GOING ON?
1026
00:46:06,364 --> 00:46:07,597
ARE YOU CHOKING?
ARE YOU OKAY?
1027
00:46:07,599 --> 00:46:09,298
OH, MY GOD.
NEED THE HEIMLICH?
1028
00:46:09,300 --> 00:46:11,534
HE CAN SPEAK!
WHAT?
THE BURGER?
1029
00:46:11,536 --> 00:46:12,368
PINEAPPLE!
1030
00:46:12,370 --> 00:46:13,369
SO?
PINEAPPLE?
1031
00:46:13,371 --> 00:46:15,371
HE'S ALLERGIC
TO PINEAPPLE!
1032
00:46:15,373 --> 00:46:16,939
HE'S NOT ALLERGIC
TO PINEAPPLE!
1033
00:46:16,941 --> 00:46:18,307
I BETTER TAKE HIM
TO THE HOSPITAL.
1034
00:46:18,309 --> 00:46:20,443
OH, MAN. I'LL RUSH HIM
TO THE HOSPITAL.
1035
00:46:20,445 --> 00:46:21,844
RIGHT.
1036
00:46:21,846 --> 00:46:23,813
THIS IS BAD!
I'LL CALL YOU.
1037
00:46:26,451 --> 00:46:28,050
OH, MY GOD!
1038
00:46:31,156 --> 00:46:32,722
THANKS FOR GETTING ME
OUT OF THAT.
1039
00:46:32,724 --> 00:46:35,391
DON'T KID YOURSELF,
YOU OWE ME $2.50.
1040
00:46:35,393 --> 00:46:37,059
WH-- FOR GETTING ME
OUT OF THE DATE?
1041
00:46:37,061 --> 00:46:39,562
AND INTEREST. YOU WERE
EYEING THE STEAK KNIFE.
1042
00:46:39,564 --> 00:46:40,897
YEAH, I KNOW.
I JUST --
1043
00:46:40,899 --> 00:46:42,498
I THOUGHT SHE KNEW ME BETTER
THAN THAT.
1044
00:46:42,500 --> 00:46:44,534
WRONG AGAIN.
1045
00:46:44,536 --> 00:46:46,035
HEY YOU!
HEY!
1046
00:46:46,037 --> 00:46:48,237
FANCY SEEING YOU HERE.
1047
00:46:48,239 --> 00:46:50,139
HEY, UH, CARRIE,
THIS IS MY DAD, MAX.
1048
00:46:50,141 --> 00:46:51,307
HI, NICE TO MEET YOU.
1049
00:46:51,309 --> 00:46:52,475
NICE TO MEET YOU.
1050
00:46:52,477 --> 00:46:53,810
DAMN,
YOU GOT A HOT DAD, LLOYD.
1051
00:46:53,812 --> 00:46:55,578
THAT'S...
NOT WEIRD AT ALL.
1052
00:46:55,580 --> 00:46:58,080
I JUST MEAN I CAN SEE WHERE
YOU GET YOUR GOOD LOOKS FROM.
1053
00:46:58,082 --> 00:46:59,515
AH.
1054
00:46:59,517 --> 00:47:01,417
THE GIRLS AND I WERE JUST
HEADED TO THE BAR.
1055
00:47:01,419 --> 00:47:03,719
WHY?
PEGGY KNOWS THE BARTENDER.
1056
00:47:03,721 --> 00:47:05,721
WE WERE GONNA FLIRT WITH HIM,
TRY TO GET SOME FREE DRINKS.
1057
00:47:05,723 --> 00:47:06,889
DOES THAT REALLY WORK?
1058
00:47:06,891 --> 00:47:08,491
LLOYD.
COME ON!
1059
00:47:08,493 --> 00:47:10,660
A GROUP OF PRETTY GIRLS?
IT'S NOT THAT HARD.
1060
00:47:10,662 --> 00:47:12,728
OH, ALL RIGHT.
DO YOU WANNA COME WITH US?
1061
00:47:12,730 --> 00:47:14,530
NO, I'M ACTUALLY --
1062
00:47:14,532 --> 00:47:16,933
I'M GONNA HANG OUT
WITH MY DAD TONIGHT.
1063
00:47:16,935 --> 00:47:19,368
OH, OKAY. WELL, UH,
IF YOU WANNA JOIN,
1064
00:47:19,370 --> 00:47:22,572
WE'LL BE OVER THERE
GETTING DRUNK,
1065
00:47:22,574 --> 00:47:24,841
SO STOP BY, MAYBE?
1066
00:47:24,843 --> 00:47:26,742
MAYBE.
1067
00:47:26,744 --> 00:47:28,444
OKAY. THINK ABOUT IT.
ALL RIGHT.
1068
00:47:28,446 --> 00:47:29,912
BYE, LLOYD.
NICE TO MEET YOU, DAD.
1069
00:47:29,914 --> 00:47:30,913
NICE TO MEET YOU.
1070
00:47:30,915 --> 00:47:32,748
BYE, CARRIE.
1071
00:47:32,750 --> 00:47:34,050
HE'S REALLY CUTE.
1072
00:47:34,052 --> 00:47:35,952
YOU SURE?
1073
00:47:35,954 --> 00:47:37,887
YEAH, IT'S FINE.
I'LL SEE HER AT SCHOOL.
1074
00:47:37,889 --> 00:47:39,255
SHE'S HOT.
1075
00:47:39,257 --> 00:47:41,257
DAD, COME ON.
WHAT?
1076
00:47:41,259 --> 00:47:43,626
IT'S A LITTLE CREEPY.
1077
00:47:43,628 --> 00:47:46,562
NOT -- IT'S NOT ABOUT ME,
IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU.
1078
00:47:46,564 --> 00:47:48,464
EYES ONLY FOR YOU.
1079
00:47:48,466 --> 00:47:50,199
OH, COME ON.
1080
00:47:50,201 --> 00:47:52,468
YEAH.
NO!
1081
00:47:52,470 --> 00:47:53,736
THE WAY SHE LOOKED AT YOU,
1082
00:47:53,738 --> 00:47:55,771
SHE TOUCHED YOU.
1083
00:47:55,773 --> 00:47:57,373
OKAY, SO?
1084
00:47:57,375 --> 00:47:59,609
NO, A-A CASUAL TOUCH BY A GIRL
IS NEVER BY ACCIDENT.
1085
00:47:59,611 --> 00:48:01,878
YOU'RE CRAZY.
I AM NOT CRAZY.
1086
00:48:01,880 --> 00:48:04,914
YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW GIRLS?
I'M PRETTY GOOD WITH THE GIRLS.
1087
00:48:04,916 --> 00:48:06,883
ARE YOU TRYING
TO STRAIGHTEN ME OUT?
1088
00:48:06,885 --> 00:48:09,085
NO.
1089
00:48:09,087 --> 00:48:10,887
I'M JUST,
MAYBE, HELPING YOU
1090
00:48:10,889 --> 00:48:13,756
BECOME A MORE COMPLETE VERSION
OF YOURSELF.
1091
00:48:13,758 --> 00:48:15,324
CAN WE GET OUT OF HERE?
1092
00:48:15,326 --> 00:48:17,393
YEAH.
YOU WANNA GO HOME?
1093
00:48:17,395 --> 00:48:20,162
NO! I DON'T WANNA GO HOME,
ANYWHERE BUT HOME.
1094
00:48:29,740 --> 00:48:32,308
WOW.
1095
00:48:32,310 --> 00:48:34,644
I LOVE
COMING BACK HERE, SON.
1096
00:48:34,646 --> 00:48:36,946
MM.
IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME.
1097
00:48:36,948 --> 00:48:40,116
USED TO SMOKE WEED BACK THERE
IN BETWEEN PERIODS.
1098
00:48:40,118 --> 00:48:42,451
YEAH?
YEAH.
1099
00:48:42,453 --> 00:48:44,186
I'LL DITCH CLASS SOMETIMES.
1100
00:48:44,188 --> 00:48:47,089
I'LL SIT AT THE BENCH
BY THE SOCCER FIELDS.
1101
00:48:47,091 --> 00:48:48,624
YOU DITCH CLASS?
1102
00:48:48,626 --> 00:48:50,359
YEAH.
I READ, BUT, YEAH.
1103
00:48:50,361 --> 00:48:51,994
REALLY?
YEAH.
1104
00:48:51,996 --> 00:48:54,497
OH, WOW, THIS IS WHERE
YOUR MOTHER WOULD EAT LUNCH
1105
00:48:54,499 --> 00:48:55,831
WITH HER FRIENDS
EVERY DAY.
1106
00:48:55,833 --> 00:48:57,166
HUH.
1107
00:48:57,168 --> 00:48:59,035
THAT, RIGHT THERE,
IS THE TREE
1108
00:48:59,037 --> 00:49:01,103
YOU SIT UNDER IF YOU WANNA GET
POOPED ON BY SQUIRRELS.
1109
00:49:01,105 --> 00:49:03,205
WELL, THAT'S KINDA
WHAT IT WAS LIKE,
1110
00:49:03,207 --> 00:49:04,674
UH, ROMANCING YOUR MOTHER.
1111
00:49:07,278 --> 00:49:09,211
WHAT'S THE MEANEST THING
YOU EVER DID IN HIGH SCHOOL?
1112
00:49:09,213 --> 00:49:11,948
ISN'T EVERYBODY A JERK
IN HIGH SCHOOL?
1113
00:49:11,950 --> 00:49:15,384
BEING MEAN, IT SOMEHOW EQUATES
WITH BEING COOL.
1114
00:49:17,487 --> 00:49:20,022
EVERYBODY'S SO LOST
AND STUPID.
1115
00:49:20,024 --> 00:49:22,358
YOU THINK WE WOULD'VE BEEN
FRIENDS IN HIGH SCHOOL?
1116
00:49:22,360 --> 00:49:23,960
YOU AND ME?
1117
00:49:23,962 --> 00:49:25,995
YEAH. BE HONEST.
1118
00:49:25,997 --> 00:49:27,630
PROBABLY NOT, HUH?
1119
00:49:27,632 --> 00:49:28,965
YEAH,
I DON'T THINK SO, EITHER.
1120
00:49:28,967 --> 00:49:30,566
WELL, I WAS JUST SUCH A JERK,
YOU KNOW?
1121
00:49:30,568 --> 00:49:34,971
I WOULDN'T EVEN HAVE DESERVED
TO BE YOUR FRIEND.
1122
00:49:34,973 --> 00:49:36,572
IT'S OKAY.
1123
00:49:36,574 --> 00:49:38,674
I'M NOT OFFENDED THAT YOU
WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN
1124
00:49:38,676 --> 00:49:39,909
MY HYPOTHETICAL FRIEND.
1125
00:49:39,911 --> 00:49:43,145
DON'T MAKE A JOKE ABOUT IT.
I'M SERIOUS.
1126
00:49:43,147 --> 00:49:46,515
YOU'RE A MUCH BETTER PERSON
THAN I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL.
1127
00:49:46,517 --> 00:49:49,251
YOU'RE MORE THOUGHTFUL.
YOU'RE MORE MATURE.
1128
00:49:49,253 --> 00:49:52,321
HELL, YOU'RE A BETTER PERSON
THAN I AM AS AN ADULT.
1129
00:49:52,323 --> 00:49:55,424
AND YOU REALLY OUGHT TO
STOP BEING SELF-DEPRECATING.
1130
00:49:55,426 --> 00:49:57,560
YOU JUST USE IT AS ARMOR.
1131
00:49:57,562 --> 00:50:00,029
I-I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T MEAN
TO GET YOU ALL WORKED UP.
1132
00:50:03,601 --> 00:50:07,236
YOU KNOW...
1133
00:50:07,238 --> 00:50:09,271
COULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR?
1134
00:50:09,273 --> 00:50:14,176
THE NEXT TIME SOMEBODY
OPENS UP TO YOU,
1135
00:50:14,178 --> 00:50:17,213
DON'T THINK ABOUT
THEIR INTENTIONS...
1136
00:50:17,215 --> 00:50:22,385
OR WHERE IT MAY BE GOING
OR HOW IT MIGHT END.
1137
00:50:22,387 --> 00:50:25,354
EVEN THOUGH YOU MIGHT
BE EMBARRASSED BY IT,
1138
00:50:25,356 --> 00:50:29,225
JUST PUT YOURSELF
OUT THERE.
1139
00:50:29,227 --> 00:50:32,928
YOU KNOW, YOU REALLY ARE
A PERSON WORTH KNOWING.
1140
00:50:32,930 --> 00:50:34,897
YOU REALLY ARE.
1141
00:50:34,899 --> 00:50:36,932
MM.
1142
00:50:36,934 --> 00:50:39,301
YEAH.
1143
00:50:51,882 --> 00:50:53,416
HE'S NOT HERE YET, HUH?
1144
00:50:53,418 --> 00:50:55,317
WHAT?
HOW DID YOU FIND ME?
1145
00:50:55,319 --> 00:50:57,119
WHAT? I'M YOUR MOTHER. I KNOW
WHERE YOU ARE AT ALL TIMES.
1146
00:50:57,121 --> 00:50:58,320
I'D LOVE TO TELL YOU
TO LEAVE,
1147
00:50:58,322 --> 00:50:59,555
BUT I KNOW THAT YOU WON'T,
1148
00:50:59,557 --> 00:51:01,657
SO, PLEASE, JUST STAY QUIET,
OKAY?
1149
00:51:01,659 --> 00:51:03,325
DON'T GET INVOLVED.
PLEASE?
1150
00:51:03,327 --> 00:51:04,827
YES, I WILL.
THANK YOU.
1151
00:51:04,829 --> 00:51:06,495
OKAY. DON'T FORGET
YOU'RE IN THE CHOIR,
1152
00:51:06,497 --> 00:51:09,999
AND YOU'RE A HUGE, ESSENTIAL
PART OF THIS ENTIRE HIGH SCHOOL.
1153
00:51:10,001 --> 00:51:12,101
AND IF THERE'S A HELL,
I'LL BE GOING THERE FOR THIS.
1154
00:51:12,103 --> 00:51:13,602
LISTEN TO ME.
HUH?
1155
00:51:13,604 --> 00:51:16,405
YOU'RE IN THE HOMESTRETCH,
OKAY?
1156
00:51:16,407 --> 00:51:18,240
YOUR GRADES GOT YOU HERE.
1157
00:51:18,242 --> 00:51:20,943
YOU JUST HAVE TO CONVINCE DEREK
OF YOUR EXEMPLARY CHARACTER.
1158
00:51:20,945 --> 00:51:22,945
YES, YES. I DO.
I HAVE TO CONVINCE HIM.
1159
00:51:22,947 --> 00:51:24,180
YES.
NOT WE, ME.
1160
00:51:24,182 --> 00:51:25,848
OKAY. ALL RIGHT.
OKAY.
1161
00:51:25,850 --> 00:51:27,149
SO THEN HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT
WHAT YOU'RE GONNA SAY
1162
00:51:27,151 --> 00:51:28,250
ABOUT YOUR EXPERIENCES
AS A GAY MAN?
1163
00:51:28,252 --> 00:51:30,686
LLOYD?
YES!
1164
00:51:30,688 --> 00:51:32,621
YES. UH, THANK YOU, MA'AM,
THAT'S ALL THE HELP I'LL NEED.
1165
00:51:32,623 --> 00:51:33,355
DON'T CALL ME MA'AM.
1166
00:51:33,357 --> 00:51:34,657
HI.
1167
00:51:34,659 --> 00:51:35,858
HI, I'M DEREK
FROM THE POINT FOUNDATION.
1168
00:51:35,860 --> 00:51:37,093
HI,
IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU.
1169
00:51:37,095 --> 00:51:39,028
SO, WHAT IS IT LIKE
GROWING UP
1170
00:51:39,030 --> 00:51:41,297
OUT AND GAY IN VENICE?
1171
00:51:41,299 --> 00:51:44,166
UH, SORRY, WHAT?
1172
00:51:44,168 --> 00:51:45,668
HOW DO KIDS HERE TREAT YOU
1173
00:51:45,670 --> 00:51:48,270
WHEN THEY KNOW YOU'RE GAY
AND OPEN ABOUT IT?
1174
00:51:48,272 --> 00:51:49,839
UM...
1175
00:51:49,841 --> 00:51:52,675
WELL, I DON-- I DON'T KNOW
IF IT'S JUST THAT I'M,
1176
00:51:52,677 --> 00:51:53,976
UM, A SHY PERSONALITY
1177
00:51:53,978 --> 00:51:55,544
OR IF IT'S THIS
DEFENSE MECHANISM
1178
00:51:55,546 --> 00:51:58,180
BUT, UH,
I'VE SURVIVED SCHOOL
1179
00:51:58,182 --> 00:52:02,151
BY NOT PUTTING MYSELF
IN UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATIONS.
1180
00:52:02,153 --> 00:52:04,987
UM, IT'S -- IT'S ONLY
BEEN RECENTLY THAT I'VE,
1181
00:52:04,989 --> 00:52:07,456
UH, REALLY LET PEOPLE
GET TO KNOW ME,
1182
00:52:07,458 --> 00:52:10,826
YOU KNOW, P-PUT MYSELF
OUT THERE TO BE JUDGED.
1183
00:52:10,828 --> 00:52:14,897
UM, IT'S SCARY, YOU KNOW,
1184
00:52:14,899 --> 00:52:17,199
IT'S REALLY SCARY,
BUT, UH,
1185
00:52:17,201 --> 00:52:19,468
I'VE BEEN REALLY SURPRISED
1186
00:52:19,470 --> 00:52:22,671
BY THE INHERENT KINDNESS
IN PEOPLE.
1187
00:52:22,673 --> 00:52:24,240
THAT'S WONDERFUL.
1188
00:52:24,242 --> 00:52:26,809
TO SEE A YOUNG PERSON
WHO KNOWS WHO THEY ARE
1189
00:52:26,811 --> 00:52:28,711
AND CAN SPEAK PROUDLY
ABOUT IT.
1190
00:52:28,713 --> 00:52:30,479
THAT'S EXACTLY THE TYPE
OF PERSON
1191
00:52:30,481 --> 00:52:32,181
OUR SCHOLARSHIP
IS SEEKING OUT.
1192
00:52:32,183 --> 00:52:34,650
ALL THAT'S LEFT IS A VISIT
TO YOUR ADMINISTRATORS,
1193
00:52:34,652 --> 00:52:37,153
JUST TO LEARN ABOUT
YOUR LEADERSHIP SKILLS,
1194
00:52:37,155 --> 00:52:38,921
AND WE'D LIKE
TO GET AN IDEA
1195
00:52:38,923 --> 00:52:41,390
OF WHAT YOUR FELLOW STUDENTS
THINK OF YOU.
1196
00:52:41,392 --> 00:52:42,658
MY -- MY FELLOW STUDENTS?
1197
00:52:42,660 --> 00:52:44,160
I SHOULDN'T BE
TELLING YOU THIS,
1198
00:52:44,162 --> 00:52:47,196
BUT YOU'RE LOOKING PRETTY GOOD
FOR THE SCHOLARSHIP.
1199
00:52:47,198 --> 00:52:50,099
THAT'S GREAT.
THANK YOU.
1200
00:52:50,101 --> 00:52:52,234
SO, WHAT UPCOMING EVENTS
ARE THERE?
1201
00:52:52,236 --> 00:52:54,937
WELL, UM...
1202
00:52:54,939 --> 00:52:58,574
I SUPPOSE...
1203
00:52:58,576 --> 00:53:01,076
PROM!
1204
00:53:04,448 --> 00:53:05,581
HELLO.
1205
00:53:05,583 --> 00:53:06,749
HI.
1206
00:53:06,751 --> 00:53:08,083
I'M LLOYD'S MOM.
1207
00:53:08,085 --> 00:53:09,218
OH!
1208
00:53:09,220 --> 00:53:10,686
I'M MAGGIE.
1209
00:53:10,688 --> 00:53:12,121
NO, DON'T COME AROUND!
OH, SHE'S COMING AROUND.
1210
00:53:12,123 --> 00:53:13,455
HI, THERE.
NICE TO MEET YOU.
1211
00:53:13,457 --> 00:53:14,957
OH, LET'S JUST HUG IT OUT.
AM I WRONG?
1212
00:53:14,959 --> 00:53:17,126
HERE'S THE THING.
1213
00:53:17,128 --> 00:53:19,361
LLOYD IS TOO SHY
TO TELL YOU,
1214
00:53:19,363 --> 00:53:22,097
BUT HE HAS BEEN NOMINATED
AS PROM KING.
1215
00:53:22,099 --> 00:53:24,266
AND I THINK HE'S GONNA WIN.
1216
00:53:25,736 --> 00:53:27,536
I-IT'S ALL SET THEN, LLOYD.
I'LL SEE YOU AT PROM.
1217
00:53:27,538 --> 00:53:28,537
ALL RIGHT.
OKAY.
1218
00:53:28,539 --> 00:53:29,905
LLOYD'S MOM?
YES.
1219
00:53:29,907 --> 00:53:31,407
IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU.
YOU TOO.
1220
00:53:31,409 --> 00:53:34,043
YOU SHOULD BE VERY PROUD
OF YOUR SON.
1221
00:53:34,045 --> 00:53:37,046
THANK YOU.
1222
00:53:38,249 --> 00:53:40,416
YOU DID IT!
SHH! SHH!
1223
00:53:40,418 --> 00:53:42,151
We're good!
This is a library.
1224
00:53:42,153 --> 00:53:44,286
Okay, okay, sorry.
Oh, but you were perfect.
1225
00:53:44,288 --> 00:53:45,921
You spoke from the heart.
1226
00:53:45,923 --> 00:53:47,256
OKAY, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
NOW PLEASE LEAVE.
1227
00:53:47,258 --> 00:53:48,390
IT WAS -- OKAY.
I'M GONNA CALL YOUR DAD,
1228
00:53:48,392 --> 00:53:49,625
EVEN THOUGH I HATE HIM.
1229
00:53:49,627 --> 00:53:51,126
OKAY, FINE.
THANK YOU. BYE!
1230
00:53:51,128 --> 00:53:52,995
BYE, I LOVE YOU. BYE!
BYE.
1231
00:53:52,997 --> 00:53:54,997
BYE.
1232
00:53:54,999 --> 00:53:56,632
I REFUSE TO DO
OUR SCIENCE HOMEWORK.
1233
00:53:56,634 --> 00:53:58,500
I KNOW.
1234
00:54:03,773 --> 00:54:06,141
WHOA, HEY!
I SAW YOU WITH HIM!
1235
00:54:06,143 --> 00:54:08,277
OKAY, I-I DON'T KNOW --
YOU GOT THE WRONG GUY.
1236
00:54:08,279 --> 00:54:09,678
DON'T LIE TO ME,
YOU WHORE!
1237
00:54:09,680 --> 00:54:11,146
WHAT?
1238
00:54:11,148 --> 00:54:12,681
I WAS HIS FIRST,
YOU SKANKY BITCH!
WHOSE FIRST?
1239
00:54:12,683 --> 00:54:15,517
PARKER'S!
OH, PARKER?
1240
00:54:15,519 --> 00:54:17,953
YOU ARE NOTHING COMPARED
TO MY LOVE FOR PARKER!
1241
00:54:17,955 --> 00:54:19,755
THAT SELF-IMPORTANT
NARCISSIST?
1242
00:54:19,757 --> 00:54:21,156
WAIT, WHAT'S GOING ON?
1243
00:54:21,158 --> 00:54:22,491
OH, MY GOD,
I'M SO SORRY!
1244
00:54:22,493 --> 00:54:23,993
BREAK IT UP!
HE'S TRYING TO TAKE MY MAN!
1245
00:54:23,995 --> 00:54:25,761
HE DOESN'T GO
TO THIS SCHOOL!
HEY!
1246
00:54:25,763 --> 00:54:26,996
YOU'RE NOT EVEN A REAL COP!
COME ON WITH ME.
1247
00:54:26,998 --> 00:54:29,331
LEAVE HIM ALONE!
STOP IT!
1248
00:54:29,333 --> 00:54:31,166
LEAVE ME ALONE!
OOH, YOU'RE STRONG.
1249
00:54:31,168 --> 00:54:32,501
OH, YOU'RE --
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
1250
00:54:32,503 --> 00:54:34,169
Y-YEAH, ARE YOU?
1251
00:54:34,171 --> 00:54:36,972
YEAH, I'M F-- I'M FINE.
LET'S -- LET'S GO. COME ON.
1252
00:54:36,974 --> 00:54:38,607
HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW
THAT GUY?
1253
00:54:38,609 --> 00:54:40,209
I DON'T KNOW HIM.
REALLY?
1254
00:54:40,211 --> 00:54:41,710
NEVER MET HIM BEFORE.
NO!
1255
00:54:41,712 --> 00:54:42,711
NOT A SCORNED LOVER?
1256
00:54:42,713 --> 00:54:43,846
NO, NO.
1257
00:54:43,848 --> 00:54:44,947
WELL, I DON'T --
1258
00:54:44,949 --> 00:54:46,181
OH.
WHAT?
1259
00:54:46,183 --> 00:54:47,383
YOU'VE GOT A LITTLE --
IT'S LIKE --
1260
00:54:47,385 --> 00:54:48,617
WHERE? IS IT
1261
00:54:48,619 --> 00:54:50,619
ALL RIGHT, THERE YOU GO.
YOU'RE GOOD.
1262
00:54:50,621 --> 00:54:53,155
IT'S A LITTLE TICKLISH.
YEAH.
1263
00:54:53,157 --> 00:54:56,825
UH, OH, HERE, READY?
JUST -- YOU GOT A LITTLE --
1264
00:54:56,827 --> 00:54:59,061
JUST, UM...
WHAT? JUST...
1265
00:54:59,063 --> 00:55:00,562
JUST...YEAH.
1266
00:55:00,564 --> 00:55:02,798
HOW'S THAT?
1267
00:55:02,800 --> 00:55:04,166
THAT -- THAT'S --
1268
00:55:04,168 --> 00:55:06,135
YEAH?
YEAH.
1269
00:55:06,137 --> 00:55:08,304
I'VE GOT, LIKE, ROCKER-HAIR
GOIN' ON RIGHT NOW, RIGHT?
1270
00:55:08,306 --> 00:55:10,472
LLOYD COOPER, WHOO!
YEAH, THAT'S YOU.
1271
00:55:10,474 --> 00:55:12,074
NO. NOT ME.
1272
00:55:12,076 --> 00:55:14,243
SO, YOU READY FOR PROM?
1273
00:55:14,245 --> 00:55:15,911
NO, NOT IN THE LEAST.
1274
00:55:15,913 --> 00:55:17,713
ME NEITHER.
1275
00:55:17,715 --> 00:55:20,582
YOU'RE, UH,
GOIN' WITH JOSH? RIGHT?
1276
00:55:20,584 --> 00:55:22,885
WHY DOES EVERYONE
ASSUME THAT?
1277
00:55:22,887 --> 00:55:24,820
I MEAN, JUST BECAUSE
I'M A CHEERLEADER
1278
00:55:24,822 --> 00:55:26,488
AND HE'S THE QUARTERBACK,
1279
00:55:26,490 --> 00:55:28,590
AND, I DON'T KNOW, WE'VE SLEPT
TOGETHER 200,000 TIMES
1280
00:55:28,592 --> 00:55:30,359
DOESN'T MAKE IT
A FOREGONE CONCLUSION.
1281
00:55:30,361 --> 00:55:31,994
RIGHT. AH. MY BAD.
1282
00:55:33,364 --> 00:55:35,197
NAH, I'M GOIN' STAG
THIS YEAR.
1283
00:55:35,199 --> 00:55:36,899
YEAH?
1284
00:55:36,901 --> 00:55:39,234
YEAH. THE GUYS AT THIS SCHOOL
ARE SO DUMB.
1285
00:55:39,236 --> 00:55:41,036
AND AS AN ADDED BONUS,
IT'LL PISS OFF MY MOM.
1286
00:55:41,038 --> 00:55:42,404
MM.
1287
00:55:42,406 --> 00:55:44,506
YEAH,
I-I'M GOING BY MYSELF, TOO.
1288
00:55:44,508 --> 00:55:46,275
WHAT? WHY?
1289
00:55:46,277 --> 00:55:49,278
BOYS ARE LINING UP
TO GO WITH YOU.
1290
00:55:50,848 --> 00:55:52,915
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
1291
00:55:52,917 --> 00:55:54,850
UH, CARRIE?
1292
00:55:54,852 --> 00:55:58,721
UH, YOU, UH...
YOU WOULDN'T AT ALL
1293
00:55:58,723 --> 00:56:01,790
BE INTERESTED IN MAYBE
GOING TO PROM WITH ME?
1294
00:56:01,792 --> 00:56:04,727
UH, REALLY?
1295
00:56:04,729 --> 00:56:08,364
YEAH! UH, WHY NOT?
1296
00:56:08,366 --> 00:56:10,099
I THOUGHT YOU LIKED BOYS.
1297
00:56:10,101 --> 00:56:12,935
UH, I'M ASKING YOU
1298
00:56:12,937 --> 00:56:16,105
BECAUSE
I...WANT TO GO WITH YOU.
1299
00:56:16,107 --> 00:56:19,908
I EN-ENJOY, UM,
SPENDING TIME WITH YOU.
1300
00:56:19,910 --> 00:56:23,812
I -- I -- YOU MAKE ME LAUGH,
EASILY AND OFTEN.
1301
00:56:23,814 --> 00:56:26,115
WHEN YOU TALK IN CLASS,
1302
00:56:26,117 --> 00:56:28,117
I ACTUALLY ENJOY HEARING
WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY,
1303
00:56:28,119 --> 00:56:30,619
AS OPPOSED TO NORMALLY WHEN I
JUST WANNA GOUGE MY EYES OUT.
1304
00:56:34,291 --> 00:56:38,660
WELL...
THAT JUST MADE MY DAY.
1305
00:56:38,662 --> 00:56:41,163
AND?
1306
00:56:41,165 --> 00:56:43,766
LET'S DO THIS,
IT'LL BE FUN.
1307
00:56:43,768 --> 00:56:45,634
REALLY?
REALLY.
1308
00:56:45,636 --> 00:56:47,202
YES.
1309
00:56:55,345 --> 00:56:56,845
DUDE.
1310
00:56:56,847 --> 00:56:58,147
WHAT WAS THAT?
1311
00:56:58,149 --> 00:57:01,150
NOTHIN', IT WAS FINE.
1312
00:57:01,152 --> 00:57:02,985
SHE JUST KISSED YOU
ON THE CHEEK?!
1313
00:57:02,987 --> 00:57:04,253
YEAH!
WHAT?!
1314
00:57:04,255 --> 00:57:05,621
YEAH!
1315
00:57:05,623 --> 00:57:07,756
YEAH, DUDE!
1316
00:57:07,758 --> 00:57:11,193
OKAY. WA-HOO-HOO!
1317
00:57:11,195 --> 00:57:13,462
SOMEONE'S GOT A DATE!
1318
00:57:13,464 --> 00:57:15,564
SOMEONE'S GOT A DATE!
1319
00:57:19,369 --> 00:57:21,870
WHAT, DO YOU TAKE ALL NINE
OF THESE MUSTARDS
1320
00:57:21,872 --> 00:57:23,705
AND PUT THEM TOGETHER
AND EAT IT?
1321
00:57:23,707 --> 00:57:25,841
THERE'S NOTHING IN HERE!
THERE'S YOGURT.
1322
00:57:27,545 --> 00:57:29,645
MMM!
1323
00:57:29,647 --> 00:57:32,347
YOU'RE NOT ACTUALLY GONNA DRINK
THAT CONCOCTION, ARE YOU?
1324
00:57:32,349 --> 00:57:34,783
YEAH, I AM.
AND SO ARE YOU.
1325
00:57:34,785 --> 00:57:36,018
BECAUSE YOU ARE GONNA
GET INTO BETTER SHAPE,
1326
00:57:36,020 --> 00:57:37,453
AGING ROCK STAR.
1327
00:57:37,455 --> 00:57:38,720
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME,
RIGHT?
NOTHING.
1328
00:57:38,722 --> 00:57:41,023
HELLO, PARENTAL UNITS!
1329
00:57:41,025 --> 00:57:42,791
HEY!
HEY.
1330
00:57:42,793 --> 00:57:45,994
TONS OF YOGURT IN THERE?
TRY IT.
1331
00:57:45,996 --> 00:57:48,530
WELL, HE LOOKS HAPPY
FOR A CHANGE.
1332
00:57:48,532 --> 00:57:52,000
YEAH, MAYBE IT'S 'CAUSE HE HAS
A DATE TO THE PROM.
1333
00:57:52,002 --> 00:57:53,836
I WOULD KNOW
IF HE HAD A DATE TO THE PROM.
1334
00:57:53,838 --> 00:57:55,871
MAYBE YOU WOULDN'T.
1335
00:57:55,873 --> 00:57:58,974
WHAT?
1336
00:57:58,976 --> 00:58:01,043
HE HAS A DATE TO THE PROM?
1337
00:58:01,045 --> 00:58:02,644
HE GOT A DATE FOR THE PROM.
HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?
1338
00:58:02,646 --> 00:58:05,214
I GUESS HE TOLD ME.
1339
00:58:05,216 --> 00:58:06,882
HAVE YOU MET THE GUY?
1340
00:58:06,884 --> 00:58:09,151
WHAT'S HIS NAME?
HOW OLD IS HE? WHO IS HE?
1341
00:58:09,153 --> 00:58:13,088
CARRIE. AGED 17, 18?
1342
00:58:13,090 --> 00:58:15,657
CARRIE. I'VE NEVER MET A BOY
"CARRIE,"
1343
00:58:15,659 --> 00:58:18,494
BUT IT'S LIKE CARY GRANT.
IS HE DASHING?
1344
00:58:18,496 --> 00:58:20,062
CARRIE IS NOT A BOY.
1345
00:58:20,064 --> 00:58:22,030
WHAT?
1346
00:58:22,032 --> 00:58:23,832
CARRIE IS A GIRL.
1347
00:58:23,834 --> 00:58:25,767
I DON'T GET IT.
1348
00:58:25,769 --> 00:58:29,538
I DON'T REALLY KNOW HOW I COULD
MAKE THAT ANY CLEARER.
1349
00:58:29,540 --> 00:58:31,673
OH.
1350
00:58:31,675 --> 00:58:33,909
GREAT.
1351
00:58:33,911 --> 00:58:35,010
SO TYPICAL OF YOU.
1352
00:58:35,012 --> 00:58:36,879
OH!
1353
00:58:36,881 --> 00:58:38,914
GREAT, THAT WAS GOOD.
1354
00:58:42,119 --> 00:58:44,853
YOU PLANNED THIS.
I KNOW YOU DID.
1355
00:58:44,855 --> 00:58:47,089
YOU CONFUSED HIM
INTO ASKING A GIRL OUT.
1356
00:58:47,091 --> 00:58:49,191
I DID NOT!
IT'S WHAT YOU DO.
1357
00:58:49,193 --> 00:58:54,630
IT IS AMAZING HOW A GREAT MOMENT
FOR OUR SON OCCURS,
1358
00:58:54,632 --> 00:58:57,566
AND SOMEHOW YOU THINK IT'S SOME
KIND OF ATTACK ON YOU!
1359
00:58:57,568 --> 00:58:58,934
MAYBE YOU'RE HAVING TROUBLE
ACCEPTING THIS,
1360
00:58:58,936 --> 00:59:02,437
BUT LISTEN TO ME NOW --
OUR SON IS GAY.
1361
00:59:03,941 --> 00:59:05,874
AND SHOVING HIM FACE FIRST
OUT OF THE CLOSET
1362
00:59:05,876 --> 00:59:07,142
IS WHAT YOU THINK IS BEST?
1363
00:59:07,144 --> 00:59:08,744
THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M DOING.
1364
00:59:08,746 --> 00:59:11,647
AND I REALLY DON'T CARE
WHAT YOU THINK IS BEST FOR HIM.
1365
00:59:11,649 --> 00:59:13,615
I'M SORRY.
I JUST DON'T, OKAY?
1366
00:59:13,617 --> 00:59:15,717
'CAUSE I'VE BEEN HERE,
HERE, FOR 17 YEARS,
1367
00:59:15,719 --> 00:59:17,119
DAY IN AND DAY OUT.
1368
00:59:17,121 --> 00:59:19,054
THE AMOUNT OF TIME
THAT YOU'VE SPENT WITH HIM
1369
00:59:19,056 --> 00:59:21,623
ADDS UP TO, I DON'T KNOW,
A CELEBRITY MARRIAGE?
1370
00:59:21,625 --> 00:59:24,126
SO, YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU JUST DON'T GET TO SAY.
1371
00:59:24,128 --> 00:59:26,595
I'M HERE! I'M HERE NOW!
1372
00:59:26,597 --> 00:59:29,464
I'M DOING MY BEST, AND, YOU
KNOW, IF YOU KEEP THIS UP,
1373
00:59:29,466 --> 00:59:31,266
LLOYD IS GOING TO HATE YOU.
1374
00:59:31,268 --> 00:59:34,736
AND I WOULDN'T BLAME HIM
ONE IOTA.
1375
00:59:34,738 --> 00:59:37,272
YEAH, GOOD.
I GET IT NOW.
1376
00:59:37,274 --> 00:59:39,675
YOU GET TO BE BEST BUDS
WITH HIM -- FINE!
1377
00:59:39,677 --> 00:59:41,910
TAKE HIM OUT, GET HIM DRUNK,
PICK UP GIRLS,
1378
00:59:41,912 --> 00:59:44,346
I DON'T CARE, BUT WHEN THE TIME
COMES TO PAY FOR SHIT,
1379
00:59:44,348 --> 00:59:46,181
DON'T COME TO ME
BECAUSE I'LL BE HERE
1380
00:59:46,183 --> 00:59:49,184
TRYING TO FIGURE OUT
A WAY TO PAY FOR COLLEGE
ON THE EAST COAST.
1381
00:59:49,186 --> 00:59:50,919
YOU COULD NEVER,
EVER, EVER DO IT,
1382
00:59:50,921 --> 00:59:52,821
AND I KNOW YOU CAN'T BECAUSE
YOU'VE NEVER BEEN THERE FOR ME
1383
00:59:52,823 --> 00:59:55,424
BECAUSE YOU'RE JUST
A DEADBEAT DAD!
1384
01:00:03,433 --> 01:00:05,400
SORRY, LLOYD.
1385
01:00:14,344 --> 01:00:17,279
WELL, WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'
OUT HERE?
1386
01:00:23,052 --> 01:00:25,454
HEY,
SO, A PROM DATE, HUH?
1387
01:00:25,456 --> 01:00:27,656
YEAH. MM-HMM.
1388
01:00:27,658 --> 01:00:29,891
IS SHE PRETTY?
1389
01:00:29,893 --> 01:00:31,426
UH, YEAH.
1390
01:00:40,536 --> 01:00:41,737
FIX THAT TABLECLOTH!
1391
01:00:41,739 --> 01:00:43,472
WHERE ARE THOSE CHAIRS GOING?
1392
01:00:55,151 --> 01:00:57,552
LESS SMILING, MORE WORKING!
1393
01:00:57,554 --> 01:01:01,323
BARBARA WOLF DEMANDS THIS PROM
BE PERFECT!
1394
01:01:27,183 --> 01:01:28,850
HEY, DAD.
1395
01:01:31,422 --> 01:01:33,255
YOU LIKE IT?
1396
01:01:33,257 --> 01:01:35,190
YOU LOOK LIKE A MAN.
1397
01:01:35,192 --> 01:01:36,758
THANK YOU.
1398
01:01:36,760 --> 01:01:39,127
OKAY, I GOT IT. I GOT IT.
OKAY. HERE I AM.
1399
01:01:39,129 --> 01:01:40,429
SO HANDSOME.
1400
01:01:40,431 --> 01:01:43,365
WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' HERE?
1401
01:01:43,367 --> 01:01:47,636
I THOUGHT I MIGHT
COOK YOU DINNER.
1402
01:01:47,638 --> 01:01:48,737
A LITTLE PEACE OFFERING.
1403
01:01:48,739 --> 01:01:50,105
MOM? DAD?
1404
01:01:50,107 --> 01:01:53,442
IS THERE, UH, SOMETHIN'
YOU WANNA TELL ME?
1405
01:01:53,444 --> 01:01:56,611
NO, I HAVE NOT FORGIVEN HIM YET.
WAIT, I'M COMING DOWN.
1406
01:01:58,282 --> 01:01:59,581
OKAY, I WANT A FULL SHOT,
FULL SHOT!
OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
1407
01:01:59,583 --> 01:02:01,550
OKAY. LOOK AT ME.
1408
01:02:01,552 --> 01:02:04,086
YOU'RE SO HANDSOME.
THANK YOU.
1409
01:02:04,088 --> 01:02:06,922
OH, MY GOD.
LOOK AT YOU.
1410
01:02:08,092 --> 01:02:10,125
OH, OKAY. READY?
MM.
1411
01:02:10,127 --> 01:02:11,326
THREE...
1412
01:02:11,328 --> 01:02:12,394
TWO. ONE.
1413
01:02:12,396 --> 01:02:13,562
THERE YOU GO.
1414
01:02:13,564 --> 01:02:14,930
HAVE FUN, BE SAFE.
1415
01:02:14,932 --> 01:02:16,231
OKAY, YEAH, YOU TOO.
UNH-UNH, MM.
1416
01:02:16,233 --> 01:02:17,599
SEE YOU, DAD.
1417
01:02:17,601 --> 01:02:18,667
BYE.
1418
01:02:18,669 --> 01:02:21,803
GOOD NIGHT.
1419
01:02:25,842 --> 01:02:29,010
THIS BETTER BE
AN EPIC DINNER.
1420
01:02:29,012 --> 01:02:31,847
BARBECUE.
1421
01:02:54,138 --> 01:02:56,204
MAGGIE?
1422
01:03:01,277 --> 01:03:03,211
WELL, I HAVE NO IDEA
WHAT TO EXPECT, BUT...
1423
01:03:09,552 --> 01:03:13,321
YOU GUYS LOOK GREAT.
1424
01:03:13,323 --> 01:03:14,956
WELL, THANK YOU.
I APPRECIATE IT.
1425
01:03:14,958 --> 01:03:17,692
HEY.
1426
01:03:22,299 --> 01:03:24,666
HI.
HI.
1427
01:03:24,668 --> 01:03:26,067
YOU LOOK SO CUTE!
1428
01:03:26,069 --> 01:03:27,302
I LOVE YOUR DRESS.
IT'S SO GLAMOROUS.
1429
01:03:27,304 --> 01:03:29,871
THANK YOU.
HAVE FUN TONIGHT.
1430
01:03:39,081 --> 01:03:41,383
FREEZE!
WHAT ARE YOU DOIN', PUNK?
1431
01:03:41,385 --> 01:03:44,252
GIVE ME THAT.
GIVE IT TO ME.
1432
01:03:49,559 --> 01:03:51,359
HI, GUYS. HOW ARE YOU?
1433
01:03:55,699 --> 01:03:59,367
DON'T YOU THINK YOU'RE JUST
A LITTLE OLD FOR THE PROM?
1434
01:03:59,369 --> 01:04:00,602
HI.
1435
01:04:00,604 --> 01:04:01,770
HMM.
1436
01:04:03,439 --> 01:04:04,940
LOOK AT THEM.
1437
01:04:07,076 --> 01:04:10,178
COME ON, LET HIM BE.
LET'S GO.
1438
01:04:10,180 --> 01:04:12,447
WHY ISN'T SHE DANCING?
SHE SEEMS UPRIGHT.
1439
01:04:12,449 --> 01:04:14,216
SHE'S JUST NOT RIGHT
FOR HIM.
1440
01:04:14,218 --> 01:04:16,184
LET 'EM HAVE THEIR FUN.
MAYBE WE CAN HAVE SOME FUN.
1441
01:04:16,186 --> 01:04:17,586
SHE PROBABLY DOESN'T EVEN
LIKE TO DANCE.
1442
01:04:17,588 --> 01:04:19,087
SHE JUST SEEMS LIKE THAT TYPE
WHO'S LIKE,
1443
01:04:19,089 --> 01:04:20,689
"EW, I DON'T WANNA GET
MY DRESS DIRTY."
1444
01:04:20,691 --> 01:04:22,524
YOU'VE GOTTA QUIT
BASHING CARRIE.
1445
01:04:22,526 --> 01:04:25,427
LISTEN TO ME, I HAVE SOMEBODY
BETTER FOR LLOYD -- BETTER!
1446
01:04:25,429 --> 01:04:26,962
AND HE'S GONNA BE HERE
ANY MINUTE NOW,
1447
01:04:26,964 --> 01:04:29,397
AND IT'S JUST GONNA BE PERFECT,
AND IT HAS TO HAPPEN
1448
01:04:29,399 --> 01:04:31,132
BECAUSE THE SCHOLARSHIP REP
IS HERE!
1449
01:04:31,134 --> 01:04:32,701
YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!
1450
01:04:32,703 --> 01:04:34,870
HE ARRANGED THIS DATE.
HE DID!
1451
01:04:34,872 --> 01:04:36,771
LET HIM BE!
1452
01:04:36,773 --> 01:04:39,441
THIS COULD ALL BLOW UP RIGHT NOW
BECAUSE OF HER!
1453
01:04:39,443 --> 01:04:41,243
IT IS TIME
TO LEAVE HIM ALONE.
1454
01:04:41,245 --> 01:04:43,311
SO LET'S GO. NOW!
1455
01:04:43,313 --> 01:04:44,713
EXCUSE ME.
1456
01:04:44,715 --> 01:04:46,081
YOU OKAY?
1457
01:04:46,083 --> 01:04:49,251
YEAH, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
1458
01:04:49,253 --> 01:04:50,619
OKAY.
1459
01:04:50,621 --> 01:04:51,820
OKAY.
OKAY.
1460
01:04:51,822 --> 01:04:53,088
GOOD.
1461
01:04:53,090 --> 01:04:56,558
WHAT -- NO, NO, NO!
1462
01:05:04,467 --> 01:05:06,968
OKAY. OKAY.
1463
01:05:26,156 --> 01:05:28,189
BEAUTIFUL DRESS.
1464
01:05:28,191 --> 01:05:30,425
OH, THANK YOU.
COOL JACKET.
1465
01:05:30,427 --> 01:05:31,993
VINTAGE?
YEAH, YEAH.
1466
01:05:31,995 --> 01:05:33,828
I ROCK THE VINTAGE.
1467
01:05:34,865 --> 01:05:36,464
I'M LLOYD'S MOM.
1468
01:05:36,466 --> 01:05:38,433
OH! I-IT'S SO NICE
TO FINALLY MEET YOU!
1469
01:05:38,435 --> 01:05:40,602
I'M -- I'M CARRIE.
OH, I KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
1470
01:05:40,604 --> 01:05:43,638
YOU'RE THE GIRL TRYIN' TO STEAL
MY SON AWAY FROM ME.
1471
01:05:43,640 --> 01:05:45,206
I'M KIDDING.
1472
01:05:45,208 --> 01:05:46,975
OH, MY GOD.
1473
01:05:46,977 --> 01:05:48,043
YOU SHOULD SEE YOUR FACE.
1474
01:05:48,045 --> 01:05:49,611
YOU WERE LIKE, "WHAT?"
1475
01:05:49,613 --> 01:05:50,812
YEAH.
PALE.
1476
01:05:50,814 --> 01:05:52,547
THAT WAS --
THAT WAS FUNNY.
1477
01:05:52,549 --> 01:05:54,149
YOU'RE BARBARA WOLF'S
DAUGHTER, RIGHT?
1478
01:05:54,151 --> 01:05:56,451
YEAH.
1479
01:05:56,453 --> 01:05:58,153
"I'M BARBARA WOLF."
1480
01:05:58,155 --> 01:05:59,454
SHE KNOWS EVERYBODY.
1481
01:05:59,456 --> 01:06:01,990
DID YOU KNOW LLOYD
USED TO DRESS UP
1482
01:06:01,992 --> 01:06:04,492
IN MY CLOTHES
WHEN HE WAS A KID?
1483
01:06:04,494 --> 01:06:07,562
NO,
I-I DID NOT KNOW THAT.
1484
01:06:07,564 --> 01:06:10,365
HERE'S THE WEIRD THING --
HIS FAVORITE DRESS OF MINE
1485
01:06:10,367 --> 01:06:12,734
WAS EXACTLY LIKE THE DRESS
YOU'RE WEARING.
1486
01:06:12,736 --> 01:06:15,537
YOU DON'T SAY.
I-I-I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
1487
01:06:15,539 --> 01:06:18,206
ISN'T THAT A COINKIDINK?
1488
01:06:18,208 --> 01:06:19,507
UM...
KINDA CRAZY.
1489
01:06:19,509 --> 01:06:20,642
A HUGE COINKIDINK.
1490
01:06:20,644 --> 01:06:21,876
YEAH.
1491
01:06:21,878 --> 01:06:23,712
HE USED TO PUT ON
THESE SHOWS
1492
01:06:23,714 --> 01:06:25,914
AND DANCE AND SING
AROUND THE HOUSE.
1493
01:06:25,916 --> 01:06:27,916
IT WAS ADORABLE.
WELL, I'M SURE.
1494
01:06:27,918 --> 01:06:29,684
I WOULD'VE LOVED
TO HAVE SEEN IT.
1495
01:06:29,686 --> 01:06:31,319
IT SOUNDS HILARIOUS.
1496
01:06:31,321 --> 01:06:33,321
BUT LATELY HE'S NOT PUTTING ON
SHOWS AROUND THE HOUSE.
1497
01:06:33,323 --> 01:06:36,858
IT'S JUST SORT OF DIFFERENT
AT MY PLACE.
1498
01:06:36,860 --> 01:06:38,493
UH...
1499
01:06:38,495 --> 01:06:41,029
IT'S REALLY AS IF
YOU CAME ALONG,
1500
01:06:41,031 --> 01:06:43,164
AND NOW HE'S CONFUSED.
1501
01:06:43,166 --> 01:06:47,168
UH, I'M SORRY,
MRS. COOPER,
1502
01:06:47,170 --> 01:06:49,504
I-I DON'T THINK
I UNDERSTAND.
1503
01:06:49,506 --> 01:06:53,208
IT'S LIKE HIS WHOLE LIFE,
LLOYD WAS A VEGETARIAN,
1504
01:06:53,210 --> 01:06:55,777
AND NOW SUDDENLY
HE LIKES BEEF.
1505
01:06:55,779 --> 01:06:58,780
WELL, CAN'T HE LIKE VEGETABLES
AND BEEF?
1506
01:06:58,782 --> 01:07:00,448
OKAY.
1507
01:07:00,450 --> 01:07:03,551
WE BOTH WANT WHAT'S BEST
FOR LLOYD, RIGHT?
1508
01:07:03,553 --> 01:07:05,253
WELL, OF COURSE.
MRS. COOPER,
1509
01:07:05,255 --> 01:07:07,422
I THINK YOUR SON
IS A WONDERFUL PERSON.
1510
01:07:07,424 --> 01:07:08,523
I-I LIKE HIM A LOT.
1511
01:07:08,525 --> 01:07:10,892
OKAY. SO LET'S DO THIS.
1512
01:07:10,894 --> 01:07:12,727
LET'S HAVE A GIRLS' SECRET.
1513
01:07:12,729 --> 01:07:14,462
A SECRET?
1514
01:07:14,464 --> 01:07:16,131
HERE'S WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN.
MM-HMM?
1515
01:07:16,133 --> 01:07:18,400
YOU KNOW HOW SOME PEOPLE
GO TO PROM TOGETHER?
1516
01:07:18,402 --> 01:07:20,368
UH-HUH.
1517
01:07:20,370 --> 01:07:24,973
SOMETIMES PEOPLE TAKE
A CAB HOME.
1518
01:07:24,975 --> 01:07:26,641
OKAY?
1519
01:07:34,651 --> 01:07:37,452
AND YOU GOTTA BE CAREFUL
IN NEW YORK, LIKE, I DON'T KNOW.
1520
01:07:37,454 --> 01:07:39,054
YOU'RE --
YOU'RE PRETTY CUTE,
1521
01:07:39,056 --> 01:07:40,522
AND NEW YORK'S PRETTY HARD.
1522
01:07:40,524 --> 01:07:42,023
THEY'RE GONNA -- THEY'RE GONNA
EAT YOU UP OUT THERE, MAN.
1523
01:07:42,025 --> 01:07:43,191
COME ON.
1524
01:07:43,193 --> 01:07:44,259
YEAH, YOU GOTTA START
WORKING OUT OR SOMETHIN'.
1525
01:07:44,261 --> 01:07:45,693
I'LL BE FINE.
HEY.
1526
01:07:45,695 --> 01:07:48,196
DO YOU MIND IF I TALK TO LLOYD
FOR JUST A SECOND?
1527
01:07:48,198 --> 01:07:49,130
JUST A SECOND.
1528
01:07:49,132 --> 01:07:51,066
SORRY.
WHAT'S UP?
1529
01:07:51,068 --> 01:07:52,600
Um, your mom
was in the bathroom,
1530
01:07:52,602 --> 01:07:54,235
and she tried to pay me
to get me to leave.
1531
01:07:54,237 --> 01:07:56,671
ARE YOU KIDDING?
WHERE IS SHE?
1532
01:07:56,673 --> 01:07:58,840
OKAY, FIRST OF ALL,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
1533
01:07:58,842 --> 01:08:00,575
THERE ARE A LOT
OF PARENTS HERE.
1534
01:08:00,577 --> 01:08:02,677
THERE ARE PARENTS HERE
CHAPERONING, SURE.
1535
01:08:02,679 --> 01:08:04,412
THERE IS NOBODY ELSE HERE
1536
01:08:04,414 --> 01:08:06,347
WHO IS SABOTAGING THEIR KID'S
LIFE LIKE YOU ARE MINE.
1537
01:08:06,349 --> 01:08:07,949
THAT IS NOT TRUE!
1538
01:08:07,951 --> 01:08:09,184
SO YOU DIDN'T JUST TRY TO PAY
CARRIE TO LEAVE?
1539
01:08:09,186 --> 01:08:11,319
I-I'M SORRY --
IT'S OKAY.
1540
01:08:11,321 --> 01:08:13,288
APOLOGIZE TO HER RIGHT NOW,
AND GO HOME.
1541
01:08:13,290 --> 01:08:14,656
DON'T TALK TO ME
LIKE THAT.
1542
01:08:14,658 --> 01:08:15,924
I HAVE HAD IT WITH YOU!
1543
01:08:15,926 --> 01:08:16,991
I AM TRYING TO HELP YOU!
1544
01:08:16,993 --> 01:08:18,326
YOU ARE NOT HELPING ME!
1545
01:08:18,328 --> 01:08:19,928
I AM --
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
1546
01:08:19,930 --> 01:08:21,496
YOU CAN'T DO THIS ON YOUR OWN.
I HAVE TO BE HERE.
1547
01:08:21,498 --> 01:08:22,931
NO, I CAN DO THIS ON MY OWN.
I'M FINE!
1548
01:08:22,933 --> 01:08:24,766
DAN, DAN! HEY!
DAN. WHO IS DAN?
1549
01:08:24,768 --> 01:08:27,502
THIS IS MY SON, LLOYD.
1550
01:08:27,504 --> 01:08:29,337
I'VE HEARD SO MUCH ABOUT YOU.
NICE TO MEET YOU.
1551
01:08:29,339 --> 01:08:30,605
DAN LOVES TO READ,
HE'S A PISCES,
1552
01:08:30,607 --> 01:08:31,840
AND HE LOVES "SAILOR MOON."
1553
01:08:31,842 --> 01:08:33,475
WASN'T THAT
YOUR FAVORITE SHOW?
1554
01:08:33,477 --> 01:08:34,709
I LOVE "SAILOR MOON."
WHO'S YOUR FAVORITE SAILOR?
1555
01:08:34,711 --> 01:08:36,344
SAILOR MERCURY.
DAN, I'M SORRY.
1556
01:08:36,346 --> 01:08:38,179
UH, YOU'VE BEEN TRICKED
INTO COMING DOWN HERE.
1557
01:08:38,181 --> 01:08:39,781
MY MOM IS INSANE.
YOU NEED TO LEAVE.
1558
01:08:39,783 --> 01:08:42,317
NO! MY SON IS TRYING TO TEACH ME
A LESSON ABOUT MEDDLING,
1559
01:08:42,319 --> 01:08:43,852
BUT YOU SHOULD STAY.
BECAUSE THIS IS ALL ABOUT YOU,
RIGHT?
1560
01:08:43,854 --> 01:08:45,520
NO --
DO YOU LIKE
ITALIAN FOOD, DAN?
1561
01:08:45,522 --> 01:08:47,856
YEAH,
I LOVE ITALIAN FO--
COME HERE.
1562
01:08:49,458 --> 01:08:51,659
WOW.
1563
01:08:51,661 --> 01:08:52,727
HOW WAS THAT?
1564
01:08:54,296 --> 01:08:57,699
GOOD. COME HERE.
1565
01:09:16,319 --> 01:09:18,086
UH
1566
01:09:18,088 --> 01:09:21,923
NOW, PLEASE GO HOME.
YOU SHOULD NOT BE HERE.
1567
01:09:21,925 --> 01:09:23,158
I --
1568
01:09:23,160 --> 01:09:24,559
NO.
COME ON, CARRIE, LET'S GO.
1569
01:09:24,561 --> 01:09:27,662
DEREK, LISTEN.
1570
01:09:27,664 --> 01:09:29,531
I AM SO SORRY.
1571
01:09:29,533 --> 01:09:31,566
I HAVE BEEN LYING TO YOU
THIS WHOLE TIME.
1572
01:09:31,568 --> 01:09:33,935
MY MOM SUBMITTED ME
FOR THE SCHOLARSHIP
WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE.
1573
01:09:33,937 --> 01:09:35,370
I DO NOT DESERVE IT.
1574
01:09:35,372 --> 01:09:36,604
YOU SHOULD GIVE IT
TO SOMEBODY WHO DOES.
1575
01:09:36,606 --> 01:09:37,872
I'M REALLY SORRY.
WAIT.
1576
01:09:37,874 --> 01:09:39,340
WHAT?
1577
01:09:39,342 --> 01:09:42,844
ARE YOU TELLING ME...
YOU'RE NOT GAY?
1578
01:09:42,846 --> 01:09:44,879
I DON'T KNOW.
I REALLY DON'T KNOW.
1579
01:09:44,881 --> 01:09:46,714
HONESTLY, I
1580
01:09:46,716 --> 01:09:49,384
WHY IS EVERYBODY SO INTENT
ON PUTTING A LABEL ON ME?
1581
01:09:49,386 --> 01:09:51,719
I HAVE NO IDEA IF I'M GAY
OR STRAIGHT.
1582
01:09:51,721 --> 01:09:53,388
I'D NEVER EVEN KISSED ANYBODY
1583
01:09:53,390 --> 01:09:55,456
UNTIL ABOUT 30 SECONDS AGO,
OKAY?
1584
01:09:55,458 --> 01:09:57,225
I DON'T KNOW.
IS THAT ALL RIGHT?
1585
01:09:57,227 --> 01:09:58,359
GOOD NIGHT.
COME ON.
1586
01:10:13,542 --> 01:10:15,410
LLOYD!
YES?
1587
01:10:15,412 --> 01:10:17,212
YOU CAN JUST KISS
NEW YORK GOODBYE
1588
01:10:17,214 --> 01:10:18,446
BECAUSE I CAN'T PAY
FOR IT.
1589
01:10:18,448 --> 01:10:20,148
I CANNOT PAY FOR IT.
1590
01:10:20,150 --> 01:10:22,884
AND YOU JUST MADE IT COMPLETELY
CLEAR YOU DON'T WANT MY HELP.
1591
01:10:22,886 --> 01:10:25,787
I DON'T WANT YOUR HELP.
NO, I REALLY DON'T.
1592
01:10:25,789 --> 01:10:27,755
IF I WANNA GO TO NYU,
1593
01:10:27,757 --> 01:10:28,923
I WILL SAVE UP THE MONEY
ON MY OWN
1594
01:10:28,925 --> 01:10:30,325
AND I WILL
GET MYSELF THERE.
1595
01:10:30,327 --> 01:10:32,393
IT'S NOT EVEN ABOUT NYU.
I DON'T CARE ABOUT NYU.
1596
01:10:32,395 --> 01:10:35,496
I JUST WANTED TO GET AS FAR AWAY
FROM YOU AS I COULD.
1597
01:10:40,736 --> 01:10:43,271
WELL, NOW YOU ALL KNOW ME.
1598
01:10:43,273 --> 01:10:48,076
I'M PRINCIPAL MACKIE,
AND, UH, WELL, I'D JUST LIKE TO
1599
01:10:48,078 --> 01:10:50,678
WELCOME ALL YOU
WOODBRIDGE STUDENTS,
1600
01:10:50,680 --> 01:10:51,913
UH, TO OUR PROM.
1601
01:10:51,915 --> 01:10:53,748
AND NOW,
1602
01:10:53,750 --> 01:10:58,686
BARBARA WOLF WILL ANNOUNCE
THE WINNERS OF PROM COURT!
1603
01:11:05,794 --> 01:11:08,329
I KNOW
THAT THERE IS SOMETHING
1604
01:11:08,331 --> 01:11:10,265
THAT WE HAVE ALL BEEN
WAITING FOR --
1605
01:11:10,267 --> 01:11:14,035
WHO OUR PROM KING AND QUEEN
ARE TONIGHT!
1606
01:11:14,037 --> 01:11:16,971
HERE WE GO.
1607
01:11:16,973 --> 01:11:19,874
OH, MY GOSH!
1608
01:11:19,876 --> 01:11:24,345
MY OWN BABY, CARRIE WOLF,
IS PROM QUEEN!
1609
01:11:24,347 --> 01:11:26,648
OH, I'M SO PROUD OF HER!
1610
01:11:26,650 --> 01:11:28,816
CARRIE WOLF AND...
1611
01:11:28,818 --> 01:11:32,787
PROM KING IS LLOYD COOPER?
1612
01:11:32,789 --> 01:11:36,724
YEAH-HA-HA-HAH!
WHOO!
1613
01:11:36,726 --> 01:11:38,893
CARRIE?
1614
01:11:38,895 --> 01:11:41,229
THEY LEFT.
1615
01:11:41,231 --> 01:11:46,534
SON OF A MOTHER SHH-ACKIN' SON
MY MOTHER F-FIST IN THE --
1616
01:11:48,004 --> 01:11:49,671
OH, IT'S FINE.
1617
01:11:49,673 --> 01:11:51,873
OUR WINNERS.
1618
01:11:51,875 --> 01:11:53,708
OH, IT'S ALL...
1619
01:11:56,146 --> 01:11:58,413
YES. OH, YES.
1620
01:11:58,415 --> 01:12:00,248
BARBARA WOLF SAYS,
1621
01:12:00,250 --> 01:12:04,752
"ENJOY YOUR STARRY,
STARRY MAGICAL NIGHT."
1622
01:12:04,754 --> 01:12:07,655
DANCE, SHOO, GO EVERYONE,
DANCE!
1623
01:12:28,411 --> 01:12:30,745
WHAT, I'M YOUR MOTHER!
1624
01:12:30,747 --> 01:12:31,946
I KNOW WHERE YOU ARE
AT ALL TIMES!
1625
01:12:31,948 --> 01:12:33,348
LET ME TIE YOUR SHOES.
1626
01:12:33,350 --> 01:12:34,782
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT
WHEN YOU...
1627
01:12:34,784 --> 01:12:36,384
ARE YOU SEEING ANYONE?
1628
01:12:36,386 --> 01:12:37,685
LET ME DO UP THAT SHIRT FOR YOU.
1629
01:12:37,687 --> 01:12:39,187
WHEN WAS YOUR FIRST KISS?
1630
01:12:39,189 --> 01:12:40,722
I LOVE YOU.
I'M NEVER GONNA LEAVE YOU.
1631
01:12:40,724 --> 01:12:42,090
DO YOU...DUST?
1632
01:12:42,092 --> 01:12:45,360
LLOYD, ARE YOU GAY?
1633
01:13:55,597 --> 01:13:56,864
YOU READY?
1634
01:13:56,866 --> 01:13:58,766
SO READY.
1635
01:13:58,768 --> 01:14:00,935
ALL RIGHT.
1636
01:14:04,941 --> 01:14:07,508
HEY!
WHAT'S SHE DOIN' HERE?
1637
01:14:07,510 --> 01:14:09,610
WOW.
1638
01:14:13,949 --> 01:14:18,019
YOU THOUGHT I WAS JUST GONNA LET
YOU GO WITHOUT SAYING GOODBYE?
1639
01:14:18,021 --> 01:14:20,154
COME HERE.
1640
01:14:20,156 --> 01:14:23,391
OH, I'M GONNA MISS YOU.
1641
01:14:23,393 --> 01:14:24,725
I'M GONNA MISS YOU, TOO.
1642
01:14:24,727 --> 01:14:27,361
HEY, LISTEN, THANK YOU.
1643
01:14:27,363 --> 01:14:28,963
FOR WHAT?
1644
01:14:28,965 --> 01:14:31,132
FOR BEING MY FRIEND,
REALLY.
1645
01:14:31,134 --> 01:14:33,201
I WISH IT HAPPENED SOONER,
BUT...
1646
01:14:33,203 --> 01:14:35,570
BETTER LATE THAN NEVER,
RIGHT?
YEAH.
1647
01:14:36,872 --> 01:14:38,539
I, UM --
I GOT YOU SOMETHING.
1648
01:14:38,541 --> 01:14:39,907
OH!
1649
01:14:39,909 --> 01:14:43,578
YES.
LITTLE GOING-AWAY PRESENT.
1650
01:14:43,580 --> 01:14:45,980
I'VE, UM --
I'VE BEEN SAVING UP.
1651
01:14:45,982 --> 01:14:48,049
N-NEW YORK CITY IS, LIKE,
SUPER SUPER EXPENSIVE.
1652
01:14:48,051 --> 01:14:50,084
OH, MY GOSH.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
1653
01:14:53,890 --> 01:14:55,823
I CAN'T --
I CAN'T TAKE THIS.
YES! YES!
1654
01:14:55,825 --> 01:15:00,061
IT'S YOURS. AND THE NEXT TIME
I FIND MYSELF IN NEW YORK CITY,
1655
01:15:00,063 --> 01:15:02,096
YOU CAN PAY ME BACK BY LETTING
ME CRASH AT YOUR PLACE,
1656
01:15:02,098 --> 01:15:03,531
FOR LIFE.
1657
01:15:03,533 --> 01:15:04,899
YOU KNOW I GOT THE SCHOLARSHIP,
RIGHT?
1658
01:15:04,901 --> 01:15:08,336
W-WHAT? WAIT, HOW?
HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?
1659
01:15:08,338 --> 01:15:10,838
WELL, APPARENTLY, BISEXUAL
OR QUESTIONING STILL QUALIFIES.
1660
01:15:12,408 --> 01:15:15,076
DEREK WAS SUPER-IMPRESSED
THAT HE WAS HONEST,
1661
01:15:15,078 --> 01:15:16,777
SO THAT CLINCHED THE DEAL.
1662
01:15:16,779 --> 01:15:19,113
DOING THE RIGHT THING PAID OFF,
WHO KNEW?
1663
01:15:19,115 --> 01:15:20,748
LLOYD
1664
01:15:20,750 --> 01:15:22,283
OH, MY GOD!
I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU.
1665
01:15:22,285 --> 01:15:23,751
HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE,
PLEASE. COME ON.
1666
01:15:23,753 --> 01:15:26,053
NO, NO, YOU KNOW WHAT?
TAKE IT, YOU KNOW?
1667
01:15:26,055 --> 01:15:27,788
I-I STILL WANT A PLACE
TO STAY,
1668
01:15:27,790 --> 01:15:29,957
AND THE SCHOLARSHIP
WON'T COVER EVERYTHING, SO...
1669
01:15:29,959 --> 01:15:31,893
YOU ARE JUST THE BEST.
YOU'RE JUST THE BEST.
1670
01:15:31,895 --> 01:15:33,861
COME HERE. MM.
AH.
1671
01:15:33,863 --> 01:15:35,129
ALL RIGHT, GET OUT OF HERE
BEFORE I TAKE YOU WITH ME.
1672
01:15:35,131 --> 01:15:36,864
MM, I WISH YOU WOULD.
1673
01:15:40,602 --> 01:15:42,937
YOU ALL RIGHT?
1674
01:15:42,939 --> 01:15:44,138
YEAH.
ARE YOU CRYING?
1675
01:15:44,140 --> 01:15:45,806
MAYBE.
1676
01:15:45,808 --> 01:15:48,876
WHAT'S WRONG WITH A DAD BEIN'
SAD HIS KID'S GOIN' AWAY?
1677
01:15:48,878 --> 01:15:50,912
COME HERE.
YOU'RE GOIN'.
1678
01:15:50,914 --> 01:15:52,613
YOU'RE GONNA FLY.
I LOVE YOU.
1679
01:15:52,615 --> 01:15:54,148
I LOVE YOU, TOO, DAD.
1680
01:15:54,150 --> 01:15:56,884
YOU ARE GONNA KICK ASS
IN THAT TOWN.
1681
01:15:58,655 --> 01:16:00,254
YOU ARE JUST -- YOU ARE NOT
GONNA BELIEVE IT.
1682
01:16:00,256 --> 01:16:02,256
IT'S SUCH A COOL PLACE.
CAN'T WAIT.
1683
01:16:02,258 --> 01:16:04,725
YOU ARE GONNA HAVE
THE MOST FUN.
I WILL.
1684
01:16:04,727 --> 01:16:05,960
WAIT!
1685
01:16:05,962 --> 01:16:07,962
I'M RIGHT HERE, MOM!
1686
01:16:12,968 --> 01:16:15,436
A COUPLE THINGS.
1687
01:16:15,438 --> 01:16:18,139
I GOTTA GO OR I'M GONNA MISS
MY FLIGHT, OKAY?
I KNOW, I KNOW. HERE.
1688
01:16:18,141 --> 01:16:19,407
OKAY.
1689
01:16:19,409 --> 01:16:20,575
DID YOU PACK YOUR I.D.?
YEAH.
1690
01:16:20,577 --> 01:16:22,009
WARM CLOTHES?
YES.
1691
01:16:22,011 --> 01:16:23,277
IT'S WINTER THERE,
YOU KNOW.
YEAH.
1692
01:16:23,279 --> 01:16:24,278
OKAY.
I'M GOOD.
1693
01:16:24,280 --> 01:16:26,614
I'M GONNA MISS YOU.
1694
01:16:26,616 --> 01:16:28,783
I'M GONNA MISS YOU, TOO.
1695
01:16:28,785 --> 01:16:31,185
YEAH?
YEAH.
1696
01:16:31,187 --> 01:16:33,454
EVEN ALL YOUR WILDLY
INAPPROPRIATE STORIES.
1697
01:16:33,456 --> 01:16:36,324
COME HERE.
1698
01:16:38,026 --> 01:16:39,327
I LOVE YOU, MOM.
1699
01:16:39,329 --> 01:16:41,028
I LOVE YOU, TOO.
1700
01:16:41,030 --> 01:16:42,763
I LOVE YOU.
1701
01:16:42,765 --> 01:16:45,132
OKAY, WE'RE GONNA LET GO,
OKAY?
OKAY.
1702
01:16:45,134 --> 01:16:47,535
ON THREE, TWO, ONE.
LET'S DO THREE, TWO, ONE, READY?
1703
01:16:47,537 --> 01:16:48,936
THREE, TWO, ONE.
OKAY.
1704
01:16:48,938 --> 01:16:50,371
GOOD. GOOD. OH.
OH, I WASN'T READY.
1705
01:16:50,373 --> 01:16:51,973
OKAY, THAT'S OKAY.
READY?
1706
01:16:51,975 --> 01:16:54,208
THREE, TWO, ONE.
1707
01:16:55,711 --> 01:16:58,112
SEE? THERE YOU GO.
1708
01:16:58,114 --> 01:16:59,513
I LOVE YOU, MOM.
1709
01:16:59,515 --> 01:17:01,949
OKAY.
1710
01:17:03,219 --> 01:17:05,286
HEY.
HUH?
1711
01:17:05,288 --> 01:17:07,355
YOU DON'T HATE ME, HUH?
1712
01:17:07,357 --> 01:17:09,290
NO.
1713
01:17:09,292 --> 01:17:11,292
OKAY.
HE DOESN'T HATE ME.
1714
01:17:11,294 --> 01:17:13,294
GOOD.
1715
01:17:13,296 --> 01:17:14,729
KEEP AN EYE ON HER,
ALL RIGHT, CARRIE?
1716
01:17:14,731 --> 01:17:16,731
ABSOLUTELY.
1717
01:17:16,733 --> 01:17:17,999
BYE, LLOYD.
1718
01:17:18,001 --> 01:17:19,967
BYE.
BYE.
1719
01:17:39,321 --> 01:17:41,255
OKAY.
1720
01:18:36,211 --> 01:18:37,311
SURPRISE!
1721
01:18:37,313 --> 01:18:38,612
HEY!
1722
01:18:38,614 --> 01:18:40,281
HI!
HI.
1723
01:18:40,283 --> 01:18:42,216
HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
1724
01:18:42,218 --> 01:18:44,785
MY BIRTHDAY'S NOT FOR ANOTHER
SIX MONTHS. YOU KNOW THAT.
1725
01:18:44,787 --> 01:18:46,721
YEAH,
BUT THE SECURITY GUARD
1726
01:18:46,723 --> 01:18:48,956
I HAD TO BRIBE DOWNSTAIRS
DOES NOT.
1727
01:18:48,958 --> 01:18:50,891
UH-HUH.
1728
01:18:50,893 --> 01:18:52,259
HI.
1729
01:18:52,261 --> 01:18:54,929
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
IN NEW YORK CITY?
1730
01:18:54,931 --> 01:18:57,665
WELL, I HAD THESE FREQUENT FLYER
MILES I HAD TO USE,
1731
01:18:57,667 --> 01:18:59,166
SO I JUST THOUGHT,
"I'LL COME SEE MY SON!"
1732
01:18:59,168 --> 01:19:00,801
YOU DON'T HAVE
FREQUENT FLYER MILES, THOUGH.
1733
01:19:00,803 --> 01:19:03,003
NO, I DON'T.
NO.
1734
01:19:03,005 --> 01:19:04,238
BUT YOUR DAD DOES.
1735
01:19:04,240 --> 01:19:07,308
AND, UH,
HE'S DOWNSTAIRS.
1736
01:19:07,310 --> 01:19:09,143
RIGHT NOW?
YEAH.
1737
01:19:09,145 --> 01:19:11,679
'CAUSE, UM,
WE'RE HERE TOGETHER.
1738
01:19:11,681 --> 01:19:14,315
REALLY?
YEAH.
1739
01:19:14,317 --> 01:19:15,916
MOM,
THAT'S SO GOOD TO HEAR.
1740
01:19:15,918 --> 01:19:16,984
IT'S OKAY, HUH?
1741
01:19:16,986 --> 01:19:19,520
THAT'S GREAT, YEAH!
OKAY.
1742
01:19:19,522 --> 01:19:21,689
UM, SO
DO YOU WANNA HAVE DINNER?
1743
01:19:21,691 --> 01:19:23,324
NO, YEAH,
THAT'D BE GREAT.
REALLY?
1744
01:19:23,326 --> 01:19:24,525
YEAH, YEAH, OF COURSE!
1745
01:19:24,527 --> 01:19:25,960
OKAY. WE MADE
A RESERVATION AND --
1746
01:19:25,962 --> 01:19:27,461
PERFECT!
YEAH, OF COURSE.
1747
01:19:27,463 --> 01:19:30,598
OKAY.
IT'S REALLY GREAT IN HERE.
1748
01:19:30,600 --> 01:19:34,435
RESERVATIONS FOR HOW MANY?
1749
01:19:36,471 --> 01:19:38,839
MOM?
141697
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