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1
00:00:01,538 --> 00:00:03,671
( theme music playing )
2
00:00:36,599 --> 00:00:38,667
YOU FIND ME RUNNINGTHE CAFE ON MY OWN,
3
00:00:38,669 --> 00:00:42,137
BECAUSE ALL HELL
HAS BROKEN LOOSE
HERE IN NOUVION.
4
00:00:42,139 --> 00:00:44,239
EXCUSE ME.
5
00:00:52,882 --> 00:00:55,116
HIDING UPSTAIRS
IN MY BEDROOM ARE
NONE OTHER
6
00:00:55,118 --> 00:00:58,921
THAN HITLER
AND GOERING THEMSELVES.
7
00:00:58,923 --> 00:01:01,690
HAVING ESCAPED
FROM THE CLUTCHES
OF THE COMMUNIST RESISTANCE,
8
00:01:01,692 --> 00:01:04,325
THEY CAME HERE
TO SEEK SHELTER.
9
00:01:04,327 --> 00:01:07,162
ACTUALLY, IT IS NOT
THE REAL HITLER AND GOERING,
10
00:01:07,164 --> 00:01:09,831
BUT LIEUTENANT GRUBER
AND THE COLONEL IN DISGUISE.
11
00:01:09,833 --> 00:01:11,767
BUT THE COMMUNISTS
DO NOT KNOW THIS
12
00:01:11,769 --> 00:01:14,736
AND THEY'RE STILL
SEARCHING FOR THEM.
13
00:01:14,738 --> 00:01:17,005
I SHUDDER EVERY TIME
THAT DOORBELL PINGS.
14
00:01:17,007 --> 00:01:18,974
( doorbell rings )
15
00:01:24,013 --> 00:01:26,048
THIS WHOLE BUSINESS
IS VERY BAD FOR THE NERVES,
16
00:01:26,050 --> 00:01:28,550
BUT GOOD FOR
THE WAISTLINE.
17
00:01:30,019 --> 00:01:31,587
- RENE!
- YES, WHAT?
18
00:01:31,589 --> 00:01:34,389
- I MUST SPEAK
TO YOU AT ONCE.
- WHAT IS IT, EDITH?
19
00:01:34,391 --> 00:01:37,292
IS THE COAST CLEAR FOR
THE COLONEL AND THE LIEUTENANT
GRUBER TO COME DOWNSTAIRS?
20
00:01:37,294 --> 00:01:38,760
ARE YOU MAD?
21
00:01:38,762 --> 00:01:40,662
I CANNOT HAVE HITLER
AND GOERING WALKING
THROUGH MY CAFE
22
00:01:40,664 --> 00:01:42,130
IN FRONT OF ALL
THESE CUSTOMERS.
23
00:01:42,132 --> 00:01:45,033
THEY ARE CHANGING
OUT OF THEIR UNIFORMS.
24
00:01:45,035 --> 00:01:46,702
I WILL FIND SOME
OLD CLOTHES FOR THEM
25
00:01:46,704 --> 00:01:48,236
SO THEY CAN
DISGUISE THEMSELVES
26
00:01:48,238 --> 00:01:50,038
AND LEAVE WITHOUT
BEING RECOGNIZED.
27
00:01:50,040 --> 00:01:52,074
WELL, BEST BE QUICK
ABOUT IT, EDITH.
28
00:01:52,076 --> 00:01:54,776
IF THE COMMUNISTS COME
BACK IN HERE AND FIND THAT
WE HAVE BEEN HELPING GERMANS,
29
00:01:54,778 --> 00:01:56,845
WE WILL ALL NEED
THE LAST RITES.
30
00:01:56,847 --> 00:02:00,315
RENE, RENE,
THE COMMUNISTS
ARE OUTSIDE.
31
00:02:00,317 --> 00:02:02,918
SEND FOR A PRIEST.
32
00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:04,920
THEY ARE SEARCHING
THE SQUARE WITH THEIR
SNIFFER DOGS
33
00:02:04,922 --> 00:02:06,722
AND THEY ARE
SNIFFING THIS WAY.
34
00:02:06,724 --> 00:02:08,724
OH MY GOD.
I AM DOOMED.
35
00:02:08,726 --> 00:02:11,459
WE MUST GET THE COLONEL
AND LIEUTENANT GRUBER
INTO THEIR DISGUISES
36
00:02:11,461 --> 00:02:13,061
AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
37
00:02:13,063 --> 00:02:15,497
COME UPSTAIRS
AND HELP ME, MIMI.
38
00:02:15,499 --> 00:02:17,699
I WILL CONTAIN
THE COMMUNISTS DOWN HERE
IF THEY COME IN.
39
00:02:17,701 --> 00:02:20,568
OH, RENE,
HOW BRAVE YOU ARE.
40
00:02:24,974 --> 00:02:27,475
I WAS ONLY GOING TO OFFER
THEM FREE DRINKS.
41
00:02:31,714 --> 00:02:33,749
RENE, I MUST
SEE YOU URGENTLY.
42
00:02:33,751 --> 00:02:35,684
OH.
43
00:02:37,453 --> 00:02:39,054
WHAT IS IT, YVETTE?
44
00:02:39,056 --> 00:02:42,691
OH, RENE, HOLD ME.
45
00:02:42,693 --> 00:02:44,592
RENE, I AM SO WORRIED.
46
00:02:44,594 --> 00:02:46,194
THE COMMUNISTS
ARE BOUND TO FIND OUT
47
00:02:46,196 --> 00:02:48,429
YOU HID THE COLONEL
AND LIEUTENANT GRUBER
FROM THEM.
48
00:02:48,431 --> 00:02:51,900
THEY WILL SHOOT YOU.
AND THEN WHAT WILL BECOME
OF ME AND OUR CHILD
49
00:02:51,902 --> 00:02:54,169
WHO IS GETTING
BIGGER EVERY DAY?
50
00:02:54,171 --> 00:02:56,404
CALM YOURSELF, YVETTE.
51
00:02:56,406 --> 00:02:59,174
YOU ARE GETTING BIGGER
BECAUSE YOU EAT TOO MUCH.
52
00:02:59,176 --> 00:03:01,309
THE COLONEL AND LIEUTENANT
WILL BE SMUGGLED AWAY
53
00:03:01,311 --> 00:03:04,479
BEFORE THE COMMUNISTS
EVEN SET FOOT IN MY CAFE.
54
00:03:04,481 --> 00:03:06,347
OH, RENE.
55
00:03:07,483 --> 00:03:08,950
LOUISE!
56
00:03:08,952 --> 00:03:11,519
RENE, WHAT ARE
YOU DOING WITH THAT
GIRL IN YOUR ARMS?
57
00:03:11,521 --> 00:03:14,289
HAVE YOU BETRAYED ME
WITH YOUR LIPS?
58
00:03:14,291 --> 00:03:15,757
NEVER, LOUISE.
NO NO.
59
00:03:15,759 --> 00:03:19,094
I AM JUST REMOVING
CRUMBS FROM MY MUSTACHE.
60
00:03:19,096 --> 00:03:22,564
AND COMFORTING
THIS CHILD WHO IS
LIKE A DAUGHTER TO ME.
61
00:03:22,566 --> 00:03:23,999
ARE YOU NOT, YVETTE?
62
00:03:24,001 --> 00:03:26,501
EVERY TIME
I LOOK AT HIM,
63
00:03:26,503 --> 00:03:29,304
THE WORD DADDY
SPRINGS TO MIND.
64
00:03:30,707 --> 00:03:33,141
SHE IS UNDER
A GREAT STRAIN
65
00:03:33,143 --> 00:03:34,810
BECAUSE SHE IS
WITH CHILD
66
00:03:34,812 --> 00:03:36,745
AND THE FATHER
IS UNKNOWN.
67
00:03:36,747 --> 00:03:39,380
WHAT KIND OF A MAN
WOULD ABANDON A GIRL
LIKE THIS?
68
00:03:39,382 --> 00:03:41,149
HE DESERVES
TO BE HUNTED DOWN
69
00:03:41,151 --> 00:03:42,751
AND TORN APART
LIMB FROM LIMB.
70
00:03:42,753 --> 00:03:45,887
WELL, PERHAPS A STERN
TICKING OFF AT LEAST.
71
00:03:45,889 --> 00:03:47,288
LEAVE US NOW.
72
00:03:47,290 --> 00:03:49,624
RENE AND I HAVE
BUSINESS TO DISCUSS
IN PRIVATE.
73
00:03:52,661 --> 00:03:54,996
- RENE.
- YES?
74
00:03:54,998 --> 00:03:57,265
ONCE AGAIN,
OUR SNIFFER DOGS,
75
00:03:57,267 --> 00:03:59,901
HOT ON THE TRAILOF HITLER AND GOERING,
76
00:03:59,903 --> 00:04:03,205
HAVE LED US TO
THE BACK OF YOUR CAFE.
77
00:04:03,207 --> 00:04:04,639
ARE YOU CERTAIN
YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THEM?
78
00:04:04,641 --> 00:04:06,875
NO, I'M SURE
I WOULD HAVE REMEMBERED.
79
00:04:06,877 --> 00:04:08,476
NO MATTER.
80
00:04:08,478 --> 00:04:10,812
OUR SEARCH HAS NARROWED
IT DOWN TO THE SQUARE.
81
00:04:10,814 --> 00:04:13,414
IT'S ONLY A MATTER
OF TIME BEFORE OUR DOGS
WILL SNIFF THEM OUT
82
00:04:13,416 --> 00:04:14,816
AND WE CAN SHOOT THEM.
83
00:04:14,818 --> 00:04:17,418
HOW RUTHLESS
YOU ARE, LOUISE.
84
00:04:17,420 --> 00:04:19,187
HOLD ME, RENE.
85
00:04:19,189 --> 00:04:22,157
WHEN WE HAVE RECAPTURED
HITLER AND GOERING
AND ENDED THE WAR
86
00:04:22,159 --> 00:04:23,759
WE SHALL HAVE
A WHITE WEDDING.
87
00:04:23,761 --> 00:04:27,129
WELL, I SHALL
CERTAINLY BE VERY PALE
ON THAT DAY.
88
00:04:27,131 --> 00:04:31,099
KISS ME. HOLD ME.
DRIVE ME MAD.
89
00:04:31,101 --> 00:04:33,401
THAT WILL NOT
BE A LONG JOURNEY.
90
00:04:33,403 --> 00:04:36,238
( moaning )
91
00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:40,175
RENE, WHAT ARE
YOU DOING HOLDING
THAT GIRL IN YOUR ARMS?
92
00:04:40,177 --> 00:04:42,077
I WILL NOT
STAND FOR IT!
93
00:04:42,079 --> 00:04:44,545
YOU STUPID WOMAN...
94
00:04:46,048 --> 00:04:47,649
CAN YOU NOT SEE
WHO IT IS?
95
00:04:47,651 --> 00:04:50,518
OH, IT IS YOU, LOUISE.
96
00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:52,553
CAN I OFFER YOU
SOME TEA?
97
00:04:52,555 --> 00:04:55,356
I'M TOO BUSY
HUNTING DOWN HITLER
AND GOERING
98
00:04:55,358 --> 00:04:57,358
TO EXCHANGE
BOURGEOIS CHITCHAT.
99
00:04:57,360 --> 00:05:00,095
GOODBYE, RENE.
I WILL RETURN SOON.
100
00:05:02,031 --> 00:05:04,866
I HUNGER FOR YOU.
101
00:05:11,073 --> 00:05:12,874
WHAT IS IT ABOUT ME
THAT ALL THESE WOMEN
102
00:05:12,876 --> 00:05:15,443
FIND SO IRRESISTIBLE?
103
00:05:15,445 --> 00:05:17,779
COULD IT BE
THE UNDERARM DEODORANT
104
00:05:17,781 --> 00:05:19,514
I BOUGHT YOU
LAST CHRISTMAS?
105
00:05:19,516 --> 00:05:21,549
I NEVER USED IT.
106
00:05:21,551 --> 00:05:24,519
PERHAPS THEREIN
LIES A CLUE.
107
00:05:30,225 --> 00:05:33,428
WE HAVE GIVEN THE COLONEL
AND LIEUTENANT GRUBER
SOME OLD CLOTHES.
108
00:05:33,430 --> 00:05:35,530
WELL, I HOPE THEY ARE
GOOD DISGUISES.
109
00:05:35,532 --> 00:05:37,865
THERE COULD BE SPIES
OF THE COMMUNIST RESISTANCE
IN HERE.
110
00:05:37,867 --> 00:05:39,434
OH, DO NOT WORRY, RENE.
111
00:05:39,436 --> 00:05:41,202
THEY WILL SUSPECT
NOT A THING.
112
00:05:46,809 --> 00:05:50,111
OH MY GOD.
113
00:05:52,682 --> 00:05:54,716
WHOSE CLOTHES
DID YOU USE?
114
00:05:54,718 --> 00:05:56,751
MAMA'S.
115
00:05:56,753 --> 00:05:58,953
THEY WERE ALL
WE COULD FIND.
116
00:05:58,955 --> 00:06:00,855
QUICKLY, LADIES,
COME AND SIT DOWN PLEASE.
117
00:06:00,857 --> 00:06:03,191
WE ARE NOT
STAYING, RENE.
118
00:06:03,193 --> 00:06:04,926
THE COMMUNIST RESISTANCE
ARE IN THE SQUARE
119
00:06:04,928 --> 00:06:06,528
LOOKING FOR HITLER
AND GOERING.
120
00:06:06,530 --> 00:06:09,163
THEY WILL NOT RECOGNIZE US
IN THESE CLOTHES.
121
00:06:09,165 --> 00:06:12,567
NO, BUT THEY HAVE
VICIOUS SNIFFER DOGS
WHICH HAVE YOUR SCENT.
122
00:06:12,569 --> 00:06:14,703
YOU STEP OUT THERE
AND THE DOGS WILL
RUN TO YOU.
123
00:06:14,705 --> 00:06:16,838
THE COMMUNISTS WILL
SHOOT FIRST AND ASK
QUESTIONS LATER.
124
00:06:16,840 --> 00:06:19,374
NOW SIT DOWN.
125
00:06:19,376 --> 00:06:21,409
WHAT ARE WE GOING
TO DO, RENE?
126
00:06:21,411 --> 00:06:24,346
YOU WILL HAVE
TO STAY HERE UNTIL
THE COMMUNISTS GO AWAY.
127
00:06:24,348 --> 00:06:26,681
TRY NOT TO DRAW
ATTENTION TO YOURSELVES.
128
00:06:26,683 --> 00:06:30,084
DRESSED LIKE THIS,
IT MAY NOT BE EASY.
129
00:06:30,086 --> 00:06:33,187
WE CAN'T STAY HERE
ALL THE EVENING.
130
00:06:33,189 --> 00:06:35,890
THERE MUST BE
A WAY TO GET OUT.
131
00:06:35,892 --> 00:06:37,659
THERE ARE TWO
GERMAN SOLDIERS
132
00:06:37,661 --> 00:06:39,927
AT THAT TABLE
OVER THERE, COLONEL.
133
00:06:39,929 --> 00:06:42,964
THEY COULD GIVE US
AN ARMED ESCORT BACK
TO OUR QUARTERS.
134
00:06:42,966 --> 00:06:45,032
THE COMMUNISTS
WOULD NOT DARE
TO ATTACK US THEN.
135
00:06:45,034 --> 00:06:47,301
GOOD IDEA, GRUBER.
136
00:06:47,303 --> 00:06:49,971
TRY TO ATTRACT
THEIR ATTENTION.
137
00:06:49,973 --> 00:06:52,841
HELLO, SOLDIER.
138
00:06:52,843 --> 00:06:55,610
A VERY UGLY GIRL
OVER THERE IS TRYING
139
00:06:55,612 --> 00:06:57,812
TO PICK ME UP,
LEOPOLD.
140
00:06:59,382 --> 00:07:01,850
IT IS LIEUTENANT GRUBER
OF THE TANK CORPS.
141
00:07:01,852 --> 00:07:05,319
I HAVE HEARD
THINGS ABOUT HIM.
142
00:07:05,321 --> 00:07:07,154
IT LOOKS AS IF
THEY ARE ALL TRUE.
143
00:07:07,156 --> 00:07:10,392
IT DOESN'T SEEM
TO BE WORKING, COLONEL.
144
00:07:10,394 --> 00:07:12,293
I WILL GO
AND SPEAK TO HIM.
145
00:07:16,732 --> 00:07:21,035
DON'T LOOK.
HIS HORRIBLE FRIEND
IS COMING OVER.
146
00:07:23,472 --> 00:07:25,373
I NEED YOU
TWO URGENTLY.
147
00:07:25,375 --> 00:07:27,942
DON'T PUSH YOUR LUCK.
148
00:07:27,944 --> 00:07:31,446
APART FROM WHICH,
YOU HAVE ROTTEN ANKLES.
149
00:07:31,448 --> 00:07:34,348
I AM COLONEL VON STROHM,
GARRISON COMMANDER.
150
00:07:34,350 --> 00:07:36,651
NAME, RANK
AND NUMBER!
151
00:07:36,653 --> 00:07:39,754
I'M SORRY, COLONEL.
I DIDN'T RECOGNIZE YOU
IN A DRESS.
152
00:07:39,756 --> 00:07:42,757
PLEASE.
EVERYBODY IS LOOKING.
153
00:07:42,759 --> 00:07:45,760
IT IS ALL RIGHT, RENE.
WE ARE GETTING AN
ARMED ESCORT.
154
00:07:45,762 --> 00:07:47,762
YOU WILL COME WITH US
TO OUR QUARTERS.
155
00:07:47,764 --> 00:07:50,364
YES, MY COLONEL.
156
00:07:50,366 --> 00:07:52,199
YOU WILL MAKE SURE
THAT EVERYTHING IS SAFE.
157
00:07:52,201 --> 00:07:55,537
COME ALONG, GRUBER.
BRING THE UNIFORMS.
158
00:08:01,777 --> 00:08:05,046
WE ARE VERY GRATEFUL
FOR YOUR HELP, RENE.
159
00:08:05,048 --> 00:08:06,981
WE WILL NOT FORGET
THIS EVENING.
160
00:08:06,983 --> 00:08:09,083
I DO NOT THINK
ANYONE WILL.
161
00:08:12,755 --> 00:08:16,090
WILL THEY BE
ALL RIGHT, RENE?
162
00:08:16,092 --> 00:08:19,360
THE COLONEL
IS WALKING VERY SLOWLY.
163
00:08:19,362 --> 00:08:21,763
IT IS NOT EASY
IN HIGH HEELS, EDITH.
164
00:08:21,765 --> 00:08:24,332
LIEUTENANT GRUBER SEEMS
TO BE MANAGING ALL RIGHT.
165
00:08:24,334 --> 00:08:26,468
HE WOULD.
166
00:08:31,941 --> 00:08:35,042
RENE?
167
00:08:35,044 --> 00:08:37,479
WHAT DO YOU THINK
OF MY NEW SUMMER DRESS?
168
00:08:37,481 --> 00:08:40,582
SO THAT IS WHAT HAPPENED
TO THE CURTAINS IN
THE SPARE ROOM.
169
00:08:40,584 --> 00:08:43,852
THERE IS A WAR ON.
170
00:08:43,854 --> 00:08:46,588
WE HAVE TO MAKE USE
OF WHATEVER WE CAN
LAY OUR HANDS ON.
171
00:08:46,590 --> 00:08:49,557
I AM HERE, MADAME.
172
00:08:49,559 --> 00:08:52,894
- AND I AM READY, MONSIEUR.
- READY...
173
00:08:52,896 --> 00:08:55,697
AND WILLING I HOPE.
174
00:08:55,699 --> 00:08:57,632
I HAVE MY SMALL HORSE
WITH THE SMALL HEARSE
175
00:08:57,634 --> 00:09:00,267
CONTAINING THE RADIO
TRANSMITTER OUTSIDE.
176
00:09:13,215 --> 00:09:14,949
WHOO!
177
00:09:21,289 --> 00:09:23,625
( shrieks )
178
00:09:23,627 --> 00:09:26,494
MICHELLE, I WISH
YOU WOULD STOP CREEPING
AROUND THE PLACE LIKE THAT.
179
00:09:26,496 --> 00:09:28,329
LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY,
180
00:09:28,331 --> 00:09:30,598
I SHALL SAY THIS
ONLY ONCE.
181
00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:33,902
THE TIME IS NOW RIGHT
TO ARRANGE A RENDEZVOUS
WITH LIEUTENANT GRUBER
182
00:09:33,904 --> 00:09:36,370
TO COLLECT
THE 10 MILLION FRANCS RANSOM.
183
00:09:36,372 --> 00:09:38,339
WHY ARE YOU
TELLING ME THIS?
184
00:09:38,341 --> 00:09:40,207
WELL, YOU ARE CLOSE
TO THE LIEUTENANT.
185
00:09:40,209 --> 00:09:42,476
YOU WILL GO
TO HIM AND GIVE HIM
OUR INSTRUCTIONS.
186
00:09:42,478 --> 00:09:45,146
NOW TAKE THIS SACK.
187
00:09:45,148 --> 00:09:47,314
WHAT IS INSIDE IT?
188
00:09:47,316 --> 00:09:49,884
IT IS A FRESHLY-CAUGHT
32-LB DOGFISH.
189
00:09:49,886 --> 00:09:53,521
SEE?
190
00:09:53,523 --> 00:09:56,925
MICHELLE, I KNOW
I AM GOING TO REGRET
ASKING THIS QUESTION,
191
00:09:56,927 --> 00:10:00,261
BUT WHAT DOES
A FRESHLY-CAUGHT 32-LB
DOGFISH GOT TO DO WITH IT?
192
00:10:00,263 --> 00:10:01,930
IT IS ALL PART
OF MY PLAN
193
00:10:01,932 --> 00:10:03,731
WHICH INVOLVES
THE DOGFISH,
194
00:10:03,733 --> 00:10:05,934
AN UNDERWATER DIVER,
A FISHING ROD
195
00:10:05,936 --> 00:10:07,569
AND A FOUR-FOOT EEL.
196
00:10:07,571 --> 00:10:09,203
THANK GOODNESS.
197
00:10:09,205 --> 00:10:13,441
FOR A MOMENT
I THOUGHT IT WAS GOING
TO BE COMPLICATED.
198
00:10:13,443 --> 00:10:16,477
RENE ARTOIS--
199
00:10:16,479 --> 00:10:18,746
PEASANT!
200
00:10:18,748 --> 00:10:21,482
SEND HIM IN.
201
00:10:21,484 --> 00:10:24,919
DO COME IN.
202
00:10:24,921 --> 00:10:28,122
GOOD MORNING, COLONEL,
LIEUTENANT, PRIVATE.
203
00:10:28,124 --> 00:10:30,458
WHAT CAN WE DO FOR YOU?
204
00:10:30,460 --> 00:10:33,294
IT IS ABOUT
THE INCRIMINATING PHOTOGRAPH
OF YOU, LIEUTENANT,
205
00:10:33,296 --> 00:10:35,830
HOLDING THE PAINTING
OF THE FALLEN MADONNA.
206
00:10:35,832 --> 00:10:38,099
THE COLONEL AND HELGA
KNOW ALL ABOUT THAT.
207
00:10:38,101 --> 00:10:39,867
YOU MAY SPEAK FREELY
IN FRONT OF THEM.
208
00:10:39,869 --> 00:10:41,603
VERY WELL.
209
00:10:41,605 --> 00:10:44,305
SOME PEOPLE
FROM THE RESISTANCE,
WHO I DO NOT KNOW,
210
00:10:44,307 --> 00:10:46,173
HAVE ASKED ME
TO TELL YOU
211
00:10:46,175 --> 00:10:49,276
THAT IF THEY DO NOT RECEIVE
THE 10 MILLION FRANCS RANSOM
212
00:10:49,278 --> 00:10:51,545
FOR THE INCRIMINATING
PHOTOGRAPH OF THE LIEUTENANT
213
00:10:51,547 --> 00:10:53,681
BY 2:00 THIS AFTERNOON,
214
00:10:53,683 --> 00:10:56,884
THEY WILL POST
THE PHOTOGRAPH TO GENERAL
VON KLINKERHOFFEN.
215
00:10:56,886 --> 00:11:00,421
RENE, THESE PEOPLE
YOU DO NOT KNOW,
216
00:11:00,423 --> 00:11:03,725
DID THEY SAY HOW THE MONEY
WAS TO BE EXCHANGED
FOR THE PHOTOGRAPH?
217
00:11:03,727 --> 00:11:05,326
YES, LIEUTENANT.
218
00:11:11,133 --> 00:11:13,334
YOU ARE TO STUFF
THE 10 MILLION FRANCS
219
00:11:13,336 --> 00:11:16,971
INSIDE THIS FRESHLY-
CAUGHT 32-LB DOGFISH
220
00:11:16,973 --> 00:11:18,973
AND DANGLE IT
IN THE RIVER
221
00:11:18,975 --> 00:11:20,742
AT THE PLACE
THAT I WILL SHOW YOU.
222
00:11:20,744 --> 00:11:23,745
AN UNDERWATER
RESISTANCE DIVER
WILL SWAP IT
223
00:11:23,747 --> 00:11:25,813
FOR A FOUR-FOOT
EEL CONTAINING
224
00:11:25,815 --> 00:11:27,915
THE INCRIMINATING
PHOTOGRAPH.
225
00:11:27,917 --> 00:11:31,753
THAT SEEMS
STRAIGHTFORWARD ENOUGH.
226
00:11:31,755 --> 00:11:33,487
WHAT DO YOU THINK,
COLONEL?
227
00:11:33,489 --> 00:11:35,790
STUFF THE FISH.
228
00:11:35,792 --> 00:11:38,459
I AGREE.
IT'S A ROTTEN IDEA.
229
00:11:38,461 --> 00:11:41,996
NO, I MEAN PUT
THIS 10 MILLION FRANCS
INSIDE THE FISH.
230
00:11:43,899 --> 00:11:47,802
ONE OF HIS BIG EYES
IS STARING AT ME.
231
00:11:47,804 --> 00:11:51,405
YOU ARE POPULAR,
LIEUTENANT.
232
00:11:51,407 --> 00:11:53,207
DO I HAVE TO?
233
00:11:53,209 --> 00:11:56,644
IT'S AN ORDER, GRUBER.
STUFF IT.
234
00:11:56,646 --> 00:11:59,047
- ( dogfish barks )
- OW!
235
00:11:59,049 --> 00:12:02,483
IT HAS BITTEN MY FINGER.
236
00:12:02,485 --> 00:12:04,719
FRESHER THAN I THOUGHT.
237
00:12:04,721 --> 00:12:06,754
DOWN BOY, DOWN.
238
00:12:06,756 --> 00:12:09,824
OH, MONSIEUR ALFONSE,
239
00:12:09,826 --> 00:12:12,226
SHOULD WE NOT
BE GETTING BACK
TO YOUR LITTLE HEARSE?
240
00:12:12,228 --> 00:12:14,829
WE STILL HAVE
A LOT OF PROPAGANDA
TO BROADCAST.
241
00:12:14,831 --> 00:12:16,998
WE MUST NOT
BROADCAST TOO MUCH
242
00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:20,034
OR THE GERMANS
WILL TRACK US DOWN.
243
00:12:20,036 --> 00:12:22,536
MADAME EDITH,
244
00:12:22,538 --> 00:12:25,272
IF ONLY YOU KNEW
WHAT HAPPINESS
IT GIVES ME
245
00:12:25,274 --> 00:12:29,276
TO BE SITTING HERE
WITH YOU ON THIS
FINE SUMMER'S DAY.
246
00:12:29,278 --> 00:12:32,379
YOU HAVE CHOSEN
THE PERFECT SPOT--
247
00:12:32,381 --> 00:12:34,582
THE SUN, THE BREEZE.
248
00:12:34,584 --> 00:12:36,984
AND SEE HOW
STILL THE WATERS
OF THE RIVER ARE.
249
00:12:36,986 --> 00:12:39,721
JUST A FEW RIPPLES.
250
00:12:39,723 --> 00:12:43,324
I SEE THEM.
OH YES INDEED.
251
00:12:43,326 --> 00:12:46,260
PERHAPS LATER
252
00:12:46,262 --> 00:12:48,495
I WILL OPEN
MY FLIES...
253
00:12:48,497 --> 00:12:51,065
I BEG YOUR PARDON?
254
00:12:51,067 --> 00:12:53,201
...AND GET OUT
MY TACKLE.
255
00:12:53,203 --> 00:12:54,736
I MAY BE OLD,
256
00:12:54,738 --> 00:12:57,471
BUT IT IS IN
PERFECT WORKING ORDER.
257
00:12:57,473 --> 00:13:00,742
ONE IS RISING NOW.
258
00:13:00,744 --> 00:13:03,444
OH, MONSIEUR
ALFONSE, PLEASE.
259
00:13:03,446 --> 00:13:05,579
IT WAS A TROUT.
260
00:13:05,581 --> 00:13:07,148
( chuckles )
261
00:13:07,150 --> 00:13:09,817
I USED TO BE
AN EXCELLENT FISHERMAN.
262
00:13:09,819 --> 00:13:12,787
I HAVE MY ROD
AND MY BOX OF FLIES
ON THE HEARSE JUST IN CASE.
263
00:13:12,789 --> 00:13:16,357
OH, THAT IS A RELIEF.
264
00:13:16,359 --> 00:13:18,525
GOOD MOANING.
265
00:13:18,527 --> 00:13:20,661
OH, IT IS YOU,
OFFICER CRABTREE.
266
00:13:20,663 --> 00:13:24,598
WHAT A SURPRISE
TO SEE YOU ON THE BONK.
267
00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:26,801
A LOVELY DOO FOR IT.
268
00:13:26,803 --> 00:13:28,770
MONSIEUR, WE ARE
HAVING A PICNIC.
269
00:13:28,772 --> 00:13:32,039
A POCKNOCK?
SPLONDID.
270
00:13:32,041 --> 00:13:35,409
PERHAPS I COULD
HAVE A KNOBBLE.
271
00:13:35,411 --> 00:13:38,913
MMM, SMOOKED SIMMON,
272
00:13:38,915 --> 00:13:41,649
AND WHAT IS THE WEEN?
273
00:13:41,651 --> 00:13:44,752
A 1938 CHATEAU
NERF-DO-PIP.
274
00:13:44,754 --> 00:13:47,288
YOU REALLY ARE
TROOTING YOURSELVES
275
00:13:47,290 --> 00:13:49,791
TO A SLIP
OF MOLE.
276
00:13:49,793 --> 00:13:53,527
WHEN A FRENCHMAN
TAKES A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN
OUT FOR A PICNIC
277
00:13:53,529 --> 00:13:56,030
HE WANTS TO BE
ALONE WITH HER.
278
00:13:56,032 --> 00:13:58,900
ARE YOU TREEING
TO TELL ME SOMETHING?
279
00:13:58,902 --> 00:14:02,236
YES, I AM TELLING YOU
TO GET KNOTTED.
280
00:14:02,238 --> 00:14:06,240
WELL, THERE'S NO NUDE TO
BE QUITE SO REED ABOUT IT.
281
00:14:06,242 --> 00:14:08,209
I CAN TAKE A HONT.
282
00:14:08,211 --> 00:14:10,544
I KNEE WHEN
I AM NIT WINTED.
283
00:14:10,546 --> 00:14:12,546
GOOD DOO TO YOU BOTH.
284
00:14:24,326 --> 00:14:26,527
AT LAST
WE ARE ALONE.
285
00:14:26,529 --> 00:14:29,730
OH, MADAME EDITH,
HOW BEAUTIFUL YOU ARE.
286
00:14:29,732 --> 00:14:33,134
JUST TO BE HERE
WITH YOU
287
00:14:33,136 --> 00:14:37,071
MAKES MY TICKER
THUMP LIKE A DRUM.
288
00:14:37,073 --> 00:14:39,040
OH, MONSIEUR ALFONSE,
289
00:14:39,042 --> 00:14:41,809
I HOPE YOU ARE
NOT GOING TO TAKE
ADVANTAGE OF ME.
290
00:14:41,811 --> 00:14:45,346
I AM A TRUE
FRENCH GENTLEMAN.
291
00:14:45,348 --> 00:14:49,150
I HAVE NOTHING BUT
THE GREATEST RESPECT
FOR YOUR HONOR.
292
00:14:50,685 --> 00:14:52,720
IS ANYONE LOOKING?
293
00:14:52,722 --> 00:14:54,188
NO.
294
00:14:57,659 --> 00:15:00,161
OH, MONSIEUR ALFONSE!
295
00:15:00,163 --> 00:15:02,163
( coughing )
296
00:15:03,899 --> 00:15:07,468
- OH, A TUG!
- I'M READY.
297
00:15:07,470 --> 00:15:10,137
COLONEL, I THINK
THE DOGFISH HAS
RECOVERED.
298
00:15:10,139 --> 00:15:12,407
IT IS PULLING HARD
ON THE LINE.
299
00:15:12,409 --> 00:15:15,510
- DON'T LET IT ESCAPE.
- ( barks )
300
00:15:15,512 --> 00:15:19,747
OH DEAR,
THE DOGFISH HAS
BITTEN THROUGH THE LINE.
301
00:15:19,749 --> 00:15:22,617
STOP IT.
302
00:15:22,619 --> 00:15:24,652
COME BACK!
303
00:15:24,654 --> 00:15:27,455
Gruber:
IT HAS SWUMAWAY, COLONEL.
304
00:15:27,457 --> 00:15:30,391
YOU MEAN WE HAVE LOST
10 MILLION FRANCS
305
00:15:30,393 --> 00:15:33,361
AND NOT EVEN
GOT THE PHOTOGRAPH
IN EXCHANGE?
306
00:15:33,363 --> 00:15:35,296
YOU IDIOTS.
307
00:15:35,298 --> 00:15:37,365
I BLAME YOU FOR THIS.
308
00:15:37,367 --> 00:15:41,402
NOW, COLONEL,
DO NOT DO ANYTHING HASTY.
309
00:15:41,404 --> 00:15:44,839
RENE, WHAT CAN WE DO?
310
00:15:44,841 --> 00:15:47,041
THERE IS ONLY
ONE THING, LIEUTENANT:
311
00:15:47,043 --> 00:15:49,043
RUN FOR IT.
312
00:15:51,447 --> 00:15:53,914
DO YOU DO MUCH FISHING,
MONSIEUR ALFONSE?
313
00:15:53,916 --> 00:15:56,050
OH YES,
WHENEVER I CAN.
314
00:15:56,052 --> 00:16:00,054
THERE IS NOTHING
I LIKE BETTER THAN
TO BE ON A RIVERBANK
315
00:16:00,056 --> 00:16:03,725
ON A FINE SUMMER'S DAY
DANGLING MY ROD
IN THE WATER.
316
00:16:05,394 --> 00:16:06,861
I HAVE FISHED ALL OVER.
317
00:16:06,863 --> 00:16:10,030
I HAVE CAUGHT
SALMON IN SCOTLAND,
TUNA IN PORTUGAL,
318
00:16:10,032 --> 00:16:13,735
AND ONCE EVEN A SWORDFISH
OFF THE COAST OF SICILY.
319
00:16:13,737 --> 00:16:16,604
OH, YOU ARE SUCH
A MAN OF THE WORLD.
320
00:16:16,606 --> 00:16:19,540
MM-HMM,I'VE BEEN AROUND
321
00:16:19,542 --> 00:16:23,110
AND MET MANY PEOPLE
IN MY LIFE AS AN UNDERTAKER.
322
00:16:23,112 --> 00:16:26,947
UNFORTUNATELY,
MOST OF THEM WERE DEAD.
323
00:16:26,949 --> 00:16:29,584
TELL ME SOME MORE
TO IMPRESS ME.
324
00:16:32,187 --> 00:16:34,622
I'VE GOT A BIG ONE.
325
00:16:38,193 --> 00:16:39,794
IT IS A WHOPPER.
326
00:16:39,796 --> 00:16:42,363
LOOK.
327
00:16:42,365 --> 00:16:44,365
MONSIEUR ALFONSE, I--
328
00:16:46,635 --> 00:16:48,269
OH MY GOODNESS, YES.
329
00:16:48,271 --> 00:16:50,971
Alfonse:
IT IS A CHAMPION DOGFISH.
330
00:16:50,973 --> 00:16:53,974
LOOK AT THE SIZE OF IT.
331
00:16:53,976 --> 00:16:57,344
IT MUST WEIGH
AT LEAST 32 LBS.
332
00:16:57,346 --> 00:16:59,947
WELL DONE,
MONSIEUR ALFONSE.
333
00:16:59,949 --> 00:17:01,783
WE MUST SELL IT
TO THE FISHMONGER.
334
00:17:01,785 --> 00:17:04,318
IT COULD BE WORTH
A LOT OF MONEY.
335
00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:06,821
COME ON, WE MUSTPICK UP THE PICNICTHINGS IMMEDIATELY.
336
00:17:06,823 --> 00:17:10,425
BUT, MONSIEUR ALFONSE,
WE ARE HAVING SUCH
A GOOD TIME.
337
00:17:10,427 --> 00:17:12,927
OH, DO NOT TELL ME
YOU ARE MORE INTERESTED
338
00:17:12,929 --> 00:17:14,529
IN FISH THAN IN ME.
339
00:17:14,531 --> 00:17:17,632
OH, MADAME EDITH,
DON'T BE SILLY.
340
00:17:17,634 --> 00:17:19,166
( chuckles )
341
00:17:19,168 --> 00:17:22,537
IF IT CAME TO A CHOICE
BETWEEN YOU AND A DOGFISH
342
00:17:22,539 --> 00:17:25,907
WORTH MAYBE 2000 FRANCS--
343
00:17:25,909 --> 00:17:29,644
BUT OF COURSE
THERE IS NOT COMPETITION.
344
00:17:29,646 --> 00:17:32,580
OH, YOU FLATTERER.
345
00:17:34,650 --> 00:17:38,419
THE DOGFISH WINS
EVERY TIME.
346
00:17:38,421 --> 00:17:40,988
WHAT ARE HELGA
AND I HAVING FOR DINNER?
347
00:17:40,990 --> 00:17:42,557
I WAS LUCKY.
348
00:17:42,559 --> 00:17:45,259
I FOUND A FRESHLY-CAUGHT
CHAMPION DOGFISH
349
00:17:45,261 --> 00:17:47,161
FOR SALE
AT THE FISHMONGER'S.
350
00:17:47,163 --> 00:17:50,698
IT WILL BE DELICIOUS.
351
00:17:50,700 --> 00:17:53,568
WHY ARE YOU PUTTING TULIPS
IN WITH THE DOGFISH?
352
00:17:53,570 --> 00:17:57,237
I AM COOKING IT
IN A HOLLANDAISE SAUCE.
353
00:17:57,239 --> 00:18:01,175
HOLLANDAISE SAUCE
IS MADE WITH EGG YOLK
AND BUTTER,
354
00:18:01,177 --> 00:18:02,810
NOT TULIPS.
355
00:18:02,812 --> 00:18:04,912
BUT THE RECIPE JUST SAID
HOLLANDAISE SAUCE.
356
00:18:04,914 --> 00:18:07,815
IT DID NOT SAY
HOW TO MAKE IT.
357
00:18:07,817 --> 00:18:09,951
YOU ARE A NINCOMPOOP,
VON SMALLHAUSEN.
358
00:18:14,690 --> 00:18:17,658
GOOD EVENING, HERR FLICK.
I HOPE I'M NOT TOO EARLY
FOR DINNER.
359
00:18:17,660 --> 00:18:19,426
NOT AT ALL.
SIT.
360
00:18:21,463 --> 00:18:24,164
YOU WILL SERVE UP THE FISH,
VON SMALLHAUSEN.
361
00:18:24,166 --> 00:18:26,968
OH, ARE WE HAVING FISH?
YUMMY.
362
00:18:26,970 --> 00:18:29,336
THAT IS NOT VERY
ELEGANTLY SERVED.
363
00:18:29,338 --> 00:18:33,340
WELL, WE DO NOT HAVE
A PLATE BIG ENOUGH,
HERR FLICK.
364
00:18:33,342 --> 00:18:37,244
WE ARE DOING OUR BEST
AS YOU CAN SEE.
365
00:18:37,246 --> 00:18:40,247
MADAME.
366
00:18:40,249 --> 00:18:41,849
MONSIEUR.
367
00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:46,721
WHAT AN
INTERESTING-LOOKING SAUCE.
368
00:18:46,723 --> 00:18:48,623
IT IS HOLLANDAISE.
369
00:18:48,625 --> 00:18:51,859
AN UNUSUAL RECIPE KNOWN
ONLY TO VON SMALLHAUSEN
370
00:18:51,861 --> 00:18:55,429
AND THE INMATES
OF THE AMSTERDAM NUTHOUSE.
371
00:18:58,567 --> 00:19:00,501
( gagging )
372
00:19:00,503 --> 00:19:02,537
HERR FLICK,
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
373
00:19:02,539 --> 00:19:06,541
THERE APPEARS
TO BE SOME PAPER
INSIDE MY DOGFISH.
374
00:19:06,543 --> 00:19:09,010
IT LOOKS LIKE
A 1,000-FRANC NOTE.
375
00:19:09,012 --> 00:19:11,145
THE FISH IS STUFFED
WITH THEM.
376
00:19:11,147 --> 00:19:13,681
OH MY GOD.
IT CAN'T BE.
377
00:19:13,683 --> 00:19:16,216
DO YOU KNOW SOMETHING
ABOUT THIS, HELGA?
378
00:19:16,218 --> 00:19:18,686
THIS AFTERNOON
THE COLONEL
379
00:19:18,688 --> 00:19:21,155
AND LIEUTENANT GRUBER
PAID OVER A BLACKMAIL DEMAND
380
00:19:21,157 --> 00:19:24,158
OF 10 MILLION FRANCS
TO THE RESISTANCE.
381
00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:26,761
IT WAS CONCEALED
INSIDE A LARGE DOGFISH
382
00:19:26,763 --> 00:19:30,364
WHICH SWAM AWAY
DOWN THE RIVER WITH
THE MONEY STILL INSIDE IT.
383
00:19:30,366 --> 00:19:32,332
BY SOME REMARKABLE
COINCIDENCE,
384
00:19:32,334 --> 00:19:34,368
IT HAS ENDED UP
ON YOUR TABLE.
385
00:19:34,370 --> 00:19:37,638
ALREADY A PLAN
IS FORMING IN MY BRAIN.
386
00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:40,374
WE HAVE THE MONEY
BELONGING TO THE COLONEL.
387
00:19:40,376 --> 00:19:43,044
HE HAS THE PAINTING
OF THE FALLEN MADONNA
388
00:19:43,046 --> 00:19:45,546
WHICH IS WORTH MUCH MORE
THAN THE 10 MILLION FRANCS
389
00:19:45,548 --> 00:19:47,548
HE NEEDS FOR
THE BLACKMAILERS.
390
00:19:47,550 --> 00:19:49,450
WE WILL OFFER
TO TRADE THE TWO
391
00:19:49,452 --> 00:19:51,118
AND END UP QUIDS IN.
392
00:19:51,120 --> 00:19:53,621
THAT IS A MASTERLY PLAN,
HERR FLICK.
393
00:19:53,623 --> 00:19:57,091
OF COURSE,
WE WILL PUT IT INTO
OPERATION TOMORROW.
394
00:19:57,093 --> 00:19:58,759
IN THE MEANTIME,
395
00:19:58,761 --> 00:20:01,495
LET US ENJOY
OUR FISH.
396
00:20:05,567 --> 00:20:07,635
WHAT'S THE MATTER,
HERR FLICK?
397
00:20:07,637 --> 00:20:09,704
YOU'RE NOT CHOKING
ON MORE MONEY?
398
00:20:09,706 --> 00:20:12,306
NO.
399
00:20:12,308 --> 00:20:14,508
I NEARLY CHOKED
ON A TULIP.
400
00:20:16,011 --> 00:20:18,846
I WOULD HAVE
GIVEN YOU MOUTH-TO-MOUTH
RESUSCITATION.
401
00:20:18,848 --> 00:20:22,650
OOH, I AM CHOKING.
I'M CHOKING!
402
00:20:22,652 --> 00:20:24,986
( shrieking )
403
00:20:26,855 --> 00:20:30,791
I HAVE ANNOUNCED THAT
HITLER AND GOERING WILL BE
LEAVING THE TOWN TONIGHT.
404
00:20:30,793 --> 00:20:32,793
THE COMMUNIST RESISTANCE
WILL GET TO HEAR OF IT,
405
00:20:32,795 --> 00:20:34,595
AND MAKE ANOTHER ATTEMPT
TO CAPTURE THEM.
406
00:20:34,597 --> 00:20:36,497
WE DO NOT HAVE
TO DRESS UP
407
00:20:36,499 --> 00:20:39,366
AS HITLER
AND GOERING AGAIN,
DO WE, GENERAL?
408
00:20:39,368 --> 00:20:42,636
I STILL HAVE NOT
RECOVERED FROM OUR
LAST EXPERIENCE.
409
00:20:42,638 --> 00:20:45,539
THEN WE WILL USE A COUPLE
OF EXPENDABLE PEASANTS
410
00:20:45,541 --> 00:20:47,240
WHO FIT THE UNIFORMS.
411
00:20:47,242 --> 00:20:49,009
WHERE WILL YOU
FIND THEM, GENERAL?
412
00:20:49,011 --> 00:20:51,211
IN THE CAFE
IN THE SQUARE.
413
00:20:51,213 --> 00:20:53,481
WE WILL PUT HIM
IN A CAR FILLED
WITH EXPLOSIVES
414
00:20:53,483 --> 00:20:56,884
AND FOLLOW AT SOME
DISTANCE BEHIND IN YOUR
LITTLE TANK, GRUBER.
415
00:20:56,886 --> 00:20:58,953
WHEN THE COMMUNISTS
SURROUND THE CAR
416
00:20:58,955 --> 00:21:00,754
WE WILL DETONATE
THE EXPLOSIVES
417
00:21:00,756 --> 00:21:02,422
AND WIPE THEM ALL OUT.
418
00:21:02,424 --> 00:21:06,093
COME, LET US GET
THE UNIFORMS AND GO
TO THE CAFE AT ONCE.
419
00:21:06,095 --> 00:21:08,896
I'M NOT AT ALL KEEN
ON THIS IDEA, GRUBER.
420
00:21:08,898 --> 00:21:12,700
THE PEASANTS ARE GOING
TO BE EVEN LESS KEEN.
421
00:21:12,702 --> 00:21:14,067
ON THE DOUBLE.
422
00:21:15,604 --> 00:21:18,005
LEFT RIGHT,LEFT RIGHT,LEFT RIGHT.
423
00:21:22,744 --> 00:21:24,979
♪ THREE LITTLE MAIDS
FROM SCHOOL ARE WE ♪
424
00:21:24,981 --> 00:21:26,647
♪ PERT AS A SCHOOLGIRL
WELL CAN BE ♪
425
00:21:26,649 --> 00:21:30,117
♪ FILLED TO THE BRIM
WITH GIRLISH GLEE ♪
426
00:21:30,119 --> 00:21:32,319
- ♪ THREE LITTLE MAIDS...♪
- SILENCE!
427
00:21:32,321 --> 00:21:35,923
♪ ...FROM SCHOOL. ♪
428
00:21:35,925 --> 00:21:38,726
UNBELIEVABLE.
429
00:21:38,728 --> 00:21:40,895
ALL YOU PEASANTS
LINE UP ACROSS THE CAFE.
JUMP TO IT.
430
00:21:43,865 --> 00:21:47,067
I DO NOT TAKE ORDERS
FROM GERMANS,
431
00:21:47,069 --> 00:21:49,637
ESPECIALLY FAT
BALDING ONES
432
00:21:49,639 --> 00:21:51,405
WITH PIGGY EYES.
433
00:21:51,407 --> 00:21:53,641
WHO SAID THAT?
434
00:21:53,643 --> 00:21:55,409
All:
SHE DID.
435
00:21:55,411 --> 00:21:57,344
I AM VERY SORRY, GENERAL.
436
00:21:57,346 --> 00:21:58,846
IT IS MY OLD
MOTHER-IN-LAW.
437
00:21:58,848 --> 00:22:00,548
SHE IS A LITTLE BIT
GAGA, YOU KNOW.
438
00:22:00,550 --> 00:22:02,950
COME ALONG,
YOU SILLY OLD BAT.
439
00:22:02,952 --> 00:22:04,852
LINE UP.
YOU ARE GOING TO GET
US ALL SHOT.
440
00:22:04,854 --> 00:22:07,287
COME ON, FANNY.
441
00:22:07,289 --> 00:22:09,657
NOW WE ARE LOOKING
FOR TWO PEASANTS
442
00:22:09,659 --> 00:22:11,692
TO DRESS AS HITLER
AND GOERING
443
00:22:11,694 --> 00:22:13,326
AND ACT AS DECOYS
444
00:22:13,328 --> 00:22:15,328
TO HELP US DEFEAT
THE COMMUNIST RESISTANCE.
445
00:22:15,330 --> 00:22:16,597
ANY VOLUNTEERS?
446
00:22:18,567 --> 00:22:21,101
THAT DOESN'T SURPRISE ME.
447
00:22:21,103 --> 00:22:22,970
COLONEL GRUBER,
HOLD THE UNIFORMS
UP TO THE PEASANTS.
448
00:22:22,972 --> 00:22:25,873
WHOEVER MOST CLOSELYFITS THE UNIFORM ACTSAS THE DECOYS.
449
00:22:29,277 --> 00:22:32,079
I WOULD NOT
BE SEEN DEAD IN
A GERMAN UNIFORM.
450
00:22:32,081 --> 00:22:35,382
I SPIT ON YOU ALL!
451
00:22:35,384 --> 00:22:37,718
FANNY, CONTROL YOURSELF.
452
00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:41,221
SILENCE IN THE LINE.
WELL, GRUBER?
453
00:22:41,223 --> 00:22:45,059
I'M AFRAID NO ONE APPEARS
TO MATCH THE GOERING
UNIFORM, GENERAL.
454
00:22:45,061 --> 00:22:47,795
WHAT A PITY.
WE WILL HAVE TO ABANDON
THE WHOLE PLAN.
455
00:22:47,797 --> 00:22:51,131
WHAT ABOUT
THAT FELLOW THERE?
456
00:22:51,133 --> 00:22:52,633
WHAT, ME?
457
00:22:52,635 --> 00:22:56,637
OH NO, HE LOOKS NOTHING
LIKE FIELD MARSHAL GOERING.
458
00:22:56,639 --> 00:22:59,039
NONSENSE.
HE'S JUST THE RIGHT SHAPE.
459
00:22:59,041 --> 00:23:00,107
BUT HE HAS A MUSTACHE.
460
00:23:00,109 --> 00:23:01,942
WELL, IT WILL BE DARK.
461
00:23:01,944 --> 00:23:04,645
THE COMMUNISTS WILL NOT
NOTICE A SMALL DETAIL LIKE
THAT AT SUCH A DISTANCE.
462
00:23:04,647 --> 00:23:06,513
STEP FORWARD,
PEASANT.
463
00:23:09,117 --> 00:23:10,851
YOU WILL BE GOERING.
464
00:23:12,453 --> 00:23:13,988
WHAT ABOUT THE HITLER
UNIFORM, COLONEL?
465
00:23:13,990 --> 00:23:17,091
THERE'S NO OBVIOUS
CANDIDATE, GENERAL.
466
00:23:17,093 --> 00:23:18,558
LET ME SEE.
467
00:23:22,964 --> 00:23:25,499
YOU'RE RIGHT.
THE MEN ARE NO GOOD.
468
00:23:31,272 --> 00:23:34,541
WHAT ABOUT THIS ONE?
469
00:23:34,543 --> 00:23:37,477
- IT'S A WOMAN, GENERAL.
- I CAN SEE THAT.
470
00:23:37,479 --> 00:23:40,213
SHE'S THE RIGHT
HEIGHT AND BUILD.
471
00:23:40,215 --> 00:23:42,415
MM, EXCELLENT.
472
00:23:42,417 --> 00:23:44,484
SHE WILL DO NICELY.
473
00:23:44,486 --> 00:23:46,720
NOW WE NEED A PEASANT
TO ACT AS DRIVER.
474
00:23:46,722 --> 00:23:49,089
ALL NON-DRIVING PEASANTS
STEP BACKWARDS.
475
00:23:49,091 --> 00:23:51,424
WHAT DID HE SAY?
476
00:23:52,961 --> 00:23:55,595
HE SAID YOU ARE
THE DRIVER.
477
00:23:55,597 --> 00:23:58,331
- I MUST PROTEST--
- SILENCE!
478
00:23:58,333 --> 00:23:59,867
ONE MORE WORD
AND I'LL HAVE YOU SHOT.
479
00:23:59,869 --> 00:24:02,136
NOW TAKE THEM INTO
ANOTHER ROOM AND GET THEM
INTO THEIR UNIFORMS.
480
00:24:05,606 --> 00:24:07,174
WE MUST HELP
SAVE THEM, MIMI.
481
00:24:07,176 --> 00:24:09,442
WE MUST STOP
THE COMMUNISTS
ATTACKING THE CAR.
482
00:24:09,444 --> 00:24:12,046
WE WILL FIND MICHELLE.
SHE WILL KNOW WHAT TO DO.
483
00:24:12,048 --> 00:24:13,981
I AM DREADFULLY
SORRY, RENE.
484
00:24:13,983 --> 00:24:16,717
THIS WHOLE BUSINESS
DISTRESSES ME GREATLY.
485
00:24:16,719 --> 00:24:19,052
I AM NOT OVER
THE MOON ABOUT IT
MYSELF, LIEUTENANT.
486
00:24:25,994 --> 00:24:29,130
WHO IS THREEING STOONS
AT MY WANDOW
487
00:24:29,132 --> 00:24:30,831
IN THE MUDDLE
OF THE KNIT?
488
00:24:30,833 --> 00:24:32,933
OFFICER CRABTREE,
IT IS US.
489
00:24:32,935 --> 00:24:35,802
DO YOU KNOW WHERE
WE CAN FIND MICHELLE?
IT IS URGENT.
490
00:24:35,804 --> 00:24:38,539
I AM HERE.
491
00:24:38,541 --> 00:24:40,241
OFFICER CRABTREE
AND I WERE JUST
DISCUSSING
492
00:24:40,243 --> 00:24:42,776
SOME VERY IMPORTANT
RESISTANCE BUSINESS.
493
00:24:42,778 --> 00:24:45,246
THE GERMANS
ARE DRESSING UP
MADAME EDITH AND RENE
494
00:24:45,248 --> 00:24:47,515
AS HITLER AND GOERING
TO ACT AS DECOYS.
495
00:24:47,517 --> 00:24:49,483
THE COMMUNISTS
WILL ATTACK THEM
496
00:24:49,485 --> 00:24:51,385
AND PERHAPS
THEY WILL BE KILLED.
497
00:24:51,387 --> 00:24:53,621
WE MUST FIND
THE COMMUNISTS
AND STOP THEM.
498
00:24:53,623 --> 00:24:55,656
I KNOW WHERE
YOU CAN FIND THEM.
499
00:24:55,658 --> 00:24:58,492
WE WILL PIT
ON SOME CLOOS
AND BE ROT DOON.
500
00:24:58,494 --> 00:25:01,028
THERE IS NO
TEAM TO LEESE.
501
00:25:04,232 --> 00:25:06,634
NOT SO FAST,
MONSIEUR LECLERC.
502
00:25:06,636 --> 00:25:09,036
IT IS AGAINST THE LAW.
503
00:25:09,038 --> 00:25:12,339
WE COULD BE SHOT
TO PIECES AT ANY MOMENT
BY THE COMMUNIST RESISTANCE,
504
00:25:12,341 --> 00:25:15,809
AND ALL YOU CAN WORRY ABOUT
IS THE SPEED LIMIT.
505
00:25:19,548 --> 00:25:21,582
( dog barking )
506
00:25:21,584 --> 00:25:23,617
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
507
00:25:23,619 --> 00:25:26,920
WE ARE SEERY TO DISTOOB YOU
AT THIS TOME OF NIT.
508
00:25:26,922 --> 00:25:28,889
WE HAVE COME
TO WARN YOU NOT TO ATTACK
HITLER AND GOERING
509
00:25:28,891 --> 00:25:30,457
WHEN THEY LEAVE
THE TOWN TONIGHT.
510
00:25:30,459 --> 00:25:32,092
THEY ARE NOT THE REAL
HITLER AND GOERING,
511
00:25:32,094 --> 00:25:33,794
BUT RENE
AND MADAME EDITH.
512
00:25:33,796 --> 00:25:35,829
THEY HAVE BEEN FORCED
TO DRESS UP AS THE GERMANS
513
00:25:35,831 --> 00:25:37,831
TO LAY A TRAP
TO CATCH YOU.
514
00:25:37,833 --> 00:25:39,866
WE ARE ATTACKING
NO ONE TONIGHT.
515
00:25:39,868 --> 00:25:42,102
WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE
OF AN IMPORTANT COMMITTEE
MEETING.
516
00:25:42,104 --> 00:25:43,704
WHAT IS IT?
517
00:25:43,706 --> 00:25:45,172
OH, IT'S NOTHING.
I'VE DEALT WITH IT.
518
00:25:45,174 --> 00:25:48,309
COME BACK INSIDE THEN.
WE HAVE REACHED ITEM SIX
ON THE AGENDA.
519
00:25:48,311 --> 00:25:50,777
( both chuckle )
520
00:25:50,779 --> 00:25:53,980
IF ONLY OUR COMMITTEE
MEETINGS WERE LIKE THAT.
521
00:25:53,982 --> 00:25:57,084
I AM READY TO DETONATE
THE EXPLOSIVES
522
00:25:57,086 --> 00:25:59,119
AS SOON AS THE COMMUNISTS
ATTACK THE CAR.
523
00:25:59,121 --> 00:26:01,255
ISN'T THIS FUN?
524
00:26:01,257 --> 00:26:02,989
YES, GENERAL.
525
00:26:02,991 --> 00:26:05,359
JUST MY IDEA
OF A NIGHT OUT.
526
00:26:05,361 --> 00:26:07,661
ANY SIGN OF THE RESISTANCE
YET, GRUBER?
527
00:26:07,663 --> 00:26:09,430
NO, GENERAL.
528
00:26:09,432 --> 00:26:11,765
THE CAR IS NEARLY
AT THE BRIDGE OVER THE RIVER,
529
00:26:11,767 --> 00:26:13,900
BUT NO ONE HAS
ATTACKED IT YET.
530
00:26:15,337 --> 00:26:18,171
THE CAR IS CROSSING
THE BRIDGE.
531
00:26:18,173 --> 00:26:21,675
IT'S OUT OF YOUR
JURISDICTION NOW,
GENERAL.
532
00:26:21,677 --> 00:26:23,176
THE OTHER SIDE
OF THE RIVER
533
00:26:23,178 --> 00:26:25,879
IS GENERAL VON KARZIBROT'S
TERRITORY.
534
00:26:25,881 --> 00:26:28,349
THE COMMUNISTS
MUST HAVE GOT WIND
OF YOUR PLAN
535
00:26:28,351 --> 00:26:31,184
- AND STAYED AWAY.
- DAMN.
536
00:26:31,186 --> 00:26:34,388
I WAS QUITE LOOKING FORWARD
TO BLOWING THEM ALL
INTO SMITHEREENS.
537
00:26:34,390 --> 00:26:37,458
( engine stops )
538
00:26:37,460 --> 00:26:39,993
( engine sputters )
539
00:26:39,995 --> 00:26:42,162
WHO FORGOT TO PUT
SOME PETROL IN?
540
00:26:42,164 --> 00:26:45,932
OH DEAR.
541
00:26:45,934 --> 00:26:49,035
THE COMMUNIST RESISTANCE
HAVE NOT ATTACKED, RENE.
542
00:26:49,037 --> 00:26:52,573
SURELY THE GODS
MUST BE SMILING
ON US TONIGHT.
543
00:26:52,575 --> 00:26:55,909
THERE ARE SOME
GERMAN SOLDIERS
ON THE ROAD AHEAD.
544
00:26:55,911 --> 00:26:57,878
THANK GOD.
545
00:26:57,880 --> 00:26:59,580
THEY MUST BE SOME
OF THE GENERAL'S MEN
546
00:26:59,582 --> 00:27:02,215
COME TO GET
US OUT OF THESE
WRETCHED UNIFORMS.
547
00:27:02,217 --> 00:27:03,984
THIS WILL BE
THE FUHRER NOW.
STOP THE CAR.
548
00:27:12,661 --> 00:27:16,096
GENERAL VON KARZIBROT,
OFFICER COMMANDING THE
ABBEVILLE GARRISON.
549
00:27:16,098 --> 00:27:18,299
WE HEARD THAT
YOU WERE LEAVING
FOR BERLIN TONIGHT.
550
00:27:18,301 --> 00:27:20,934
HOWEVER, WE, A GROUP
OF GENERALS, HAVE DECIDED
551
00:27:20,936 --> 00:27:22,770
IT IS BETTER
IF YOU DO NOT GET THERE.
552
00:27:22,772 --> 00:27:24,838
YOU HAVE MADE
A COMPLETE MESS
OF THIS WAR
553
00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:26,940
AND NOW YOU HAVE
TO PAY THE PRICE.
554
00:27:26,942 --> 00:27:29,576
TAKE THE FUHRER INTO
THE FIELD AND SHOOT HIM.
555
00:27:29,578 --> 00:27:32,446
- WHAT?
- RENE, SAY SOMETHING.
556
00:27:32,448 --> 00:27:34,214
SAVE ME.
557
00:27:34,216 --> 00:27:36,817
YOU CANNOT DO THIS.
THAT IS MY WIFE.
558
00:27:36,819 --> 00:27:40,187
HITLER IS MARRIED
TO GOERING?
559
00:27:40,189 --> 00:27:42,656
WE ARE NOT SHOOTING THEM
A MOMENT TOO SOON.
560
00:27:42,658 --> 00:27:44,958
TAKE HIM INTO THE FIELD
AND SHOOT HIM.
561
00:27:44,960 --> 00:27:47,060
HELP, SAVE ME!
562
00:27:47,062 --> 00:27:50,263
DO SOMETHING.
563
00:27:51,833 --> 00:27:55,135
( theme music playing )
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