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(crowd cheering)

(upbeat music)

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Welcome to the
first debate night

at the 2016
presidential campaign,

live from Quicken Loans
Arena in Cleveland, Ohio.

I'm Megyn Kelly.

In the center of
the stage tonight,

businessman Donald Trump.

(crowd cheering)

One of the things
people love about you

is you speak your mind.

And you don't use a
politician's filter.

However, you've called
women you don't like

fat pigs, dogs, slobs,
and disgusting animals.

Only Rosie O'Donnell.

(crowd laughing)
(crowd applauding)

Rosie O'Donnell's disgusting.

I mean, both inside and out.

You take a look at
her, she's a slob.

She talks like a truck driver.

I think the big problem
this country has

is being politically correct.

If I were running The
View, I'd fire Rosie.

I mean, I'd look her right in
that fat, ugly face of hers.

I'd say Rosie, you're fired.

I don't frankly have time for
total political correctness.

She's gonna move to
Canada, Donald Trump,

if you get elected.

[Donald] Now I have
to get elected because

I'll be doing a great
service for our country.

Now it's much more important.

In fact, I'll immediately
get off this call

and start campaigning right now.

(upbeat rock music)

(ticking)

[Woman In Audience] I was
wondering what you would say

to President Obama.

You're fired.

(crowd cheering)

Yeah, we ought to fire him.

I'd fire his ass
right now if I could.

(crowd cheering)

True.

Our national debt has doubled.

It'll be at 20 trillion dollars.

Great job, great job, Obama.

Our president
doesn't have a clue.

He's a bad negotiator.

He's weak, and he's ineffective,

and he's not respected.

Give me one positive
thing about President Obama.

(crickets chirping)

It's very hard.

That's a very hard,
that's the only really

tough question you've
asked me this morning.

F, fail, F, fail, F F F.

President Obama, I highly think

you should read
this book quickly.

Quickly.

We're gonna take this country
back from these thieves

and these crooks and
these horrible presidents,

these phony presidents.

Do you regret questioning
President Obama's citizenship?

Why, or why not?

Not even a little bit.

I don't regret it.

Why would I regret it?

Says this is official,
he was born in Hawaii

on this date, here it is.

Why do you deny that?

Many people do not
think it was authentic.

His mother was not
in the hospital.

And frankly, if you would
report it accurately,

I think you'd
probably get better

ratings than you're getting,
which are pretty small.

He's now our president,
he's our president.

You have no record, you
can't be criticized.

Wonderful guy, he's a nice man,

but there was no record.

Nobody knew who the hell he was.

(upbeat rock music)

I backed McCain and
I backed Romney.

McCain lost, Romney lost.

I said, damn it, the next time,

I'm just gonna do
it myself, right?

(crowd cheering)

John McCain goes, oh boy,
Trump makes my life difficult.

He had 15,000 crazies show up.

[John] What he did was
that he fired up the crazies.

They weren't crazy.

They were great Americans.

He insulted me, and he insulted
everybody in that room.

I supported him, he lost.

He let us down.

So I never liked him
as much after that.

'Cause I don't like losers.

He's not a war hero.

[Interviewer]
He is a war hero.

He is a war hero.

[Interviewer] Five
and a half years

in the detainment camp.
He's a war hero

'cause he was captured.

I like people that
weren't captured, okay?

I hate to tell you.

(upbeat rock music)

(ticking)

When Mexico sends its people,

they're not sending their best.

They're sending people
that have lots of problems.

They're bringing drugs,
they're bringing crime,

they're rapists.

I love the Mexican people.

I've had thousands of
Mexicans working for me.

I sell apartments for
millions of dollars

to people from Mexico.

They love me.

They love me.

Look at all the Latinos.

Thank you, Donald.

Let me see that sign.

I wanna see that sign.

(crowd cheering)

Two waiters came
up to me tonight.

Mr. Trump, we love you.

I said, where are you from?

Mexico.

I said, that's great,
I love you, too.

(crowd laughing)

I love Mexico.

But I said we need
a strong border.

And by the way, they're coming
from all over the world.

Including the Middle East.

Come on in, we're stupid,
we'll take care of you.

We'll pay.

Get sick, we'll take care
of your hospitalization.

What kind of a plan do you want?

16,500 border patrol agents
endorse Donald Trump.

They know what's going on.

Build that wall.
(crowd cheering)

Build that wall.

Build that wall.

Their job is much easier now.

'Cause when they're with me,

they're gonna be working hard.

Build that wall, build
that wall, build that wall.

Right now, they just
stand there and say,

oh go on through, hello.
(crowd laughing)

Go on through.

Welcome to the country, right?

We'll take care of you for
the rest of your lives.

They say, Donald,
you don't really mean

we're gonna build
a wall, do you?

And I say,

I say, absolutely we're
gonna build a wall, 100%.

Now the wall is 10 billion to
12 billion dollars if I do it.

If these guys do it,
it'll end up costing

200 billion dollars.

Don, you're a little
controversial.

You're talking about
illegal immigration.

I said, it's illegal.

You mean it's not
politically correct

and yet everybody uses it?

No, I'll use the
word anchor baby.

Excuse me, I'll use
the word anchor baby.

(upbeat rock music)

(ticking)

Poor Jeb Bush.

I mean, this poor guy
with this low energy.

It's sad.

No, it's sad.

I came up with that term.

It became so defining.

It's like having
it on his forehead.

Jeb Bush is a low energy person.

For him, to get
things done is hard.

I think Jeb is a nice person.

He's very low energy.

I'm not used to that
kind of a person.

Jeb Bush, we call him
low energy, low energy.

He really is, he's
low, he's low.

He's low on energy.

You can't just tell
Congress, you're fired,

and go to commercial break.

Look, Jeb is a nice guy.

He's a stiff, okay?

He ought to do what Walker did.

[George] You think
he should drop out?

Oh, absolutely,
he has no chance.

And he's been branded
as a low energy person.

I don't know who
branded him that.

- By who?
- I don't know.

I can't imagine.

When you said low
energy for Bush,

you defined him so incredibly.

It was over.

He can have 125 million
dollars in the bank.

It's over.

Who would you rather
have negotiate with Iran?

Trump or Jeb?

(crowd cheering)

And I think you can see,
I'm having a good time.

I really am.

You know, they said to Jeb Bush.

He was like this.

They said, are you having fun?

Yes.

I know how to do this.

(bouncing noise)

My father always used to say,

son, you've gotta
take the lumps out.

He thought every once in
a while, I was too tough.

Take the lumps out.

Be soft.

Be a little bit like Jeb Bush
every once in a while, soft.

I will be a commander in chief

that will have the
back of the military.

He can't even put
on a tie and jacket.

He's running for president.

I won't trash talk.

Jeb.

(snoring)

He's asleep.

I won't be a divider in chief,

or an agitator in chief.

I won't be out
there blow-harding.

Don't fall asleep when I
mention the name, please.

I think the next president
needs to be a lot quieter,

but send a signal that
we're prepared to act

in the national security
interests of this country.

You know what's
happening to Jeb's crowd?

As you know, right
down the street.

They're sleeping,
they're sleeping now.

To get back in the business of

creating a more peaceful world.

Please clap.

(audience clapping)

And the poll just came out.

And I'm tied with Jeb Bush.

And I said, oh that's too bad.

How can I be tied with this guy?

He's terrible, he's terrible.

I gotta get this off my chest.

Donald Trump is a jerk.

(audience laughing)

But he's a man that doesn't

wanna be doing what he's doing.

I call him the
reluctant warrior.

And warrior's probably
not a good word.

I feel better now.
(audience clapping)

I just, I gave myself
therapy there, thank you.

I think Bush is
an unhappy person.

Apple Watch.

[Watch] Hello?

My watch can't be talking.

[Watch] Hello, hello?

Hi, hello?

I don't think
he has any energy.

[Watch] There, hello?

Is it my watch?

(upbeat rock music)

(brush scraping)

(clicking)

Short, tall, fat, ugly.

Would we not all
be worried to have

someone like that in charge
of the nuclear arson?

- Jake.
- [Jake] Mr. Trump.

I never attacked
him on his look,

and believe me,
there's plenty of

subject matter right there.

That I can tell you.
(audience laughing)

Jeb Bush even said
that Donald Trump

is out to destroy
the Republican party.

What do you think about that?

I think that Donald
Trump is a fake.

I think he's a
fake conservative.

And really is not much about
him that is conservative.

First of all, Rand Paul
shouldn't even be on this stage.

He's number 11, he's
got 1% in the polls,

and how he got up here,

there's far too
many people anyway.

The people of Kentucky are
being used by Rand Paul.

I'd like to also
go back to, though,

anther question, which is,

is Donald Trump a
serious candidate?

The people of
Kentucky should get

a senator that wants
to represent 'em.

Not a senator where
it's a backup plan.

But just calling people
stupid or calling them fat

or saying they're
bleeding, I mean,

are just such
ridiculous statements.

He's a disaster on
military and defense.

If I was in Kentucky, I
would run against him.

And believe me, I'd win.

You know, for a lot of us,

it's like watching
a car accident

instead of focusing
on the direction

we should be headed.

It's a sideshow out there.

I've been nice
to Scott Walker.

And Mr. Trump, we
don't need an apprentice

in the White House,
we don't need an

apprentice in the White House.

We have one right now.

I said, oh finally,
I can attack.

(audience laughing)

Finally.

Excuse me.
No no, we talk about this.

In Wisconsin, you're losing
2.2 billion dollars right now.

When the folks of Iowa
found out the true facts of

the job that you've
done in Wisconsin,

all of a sudden, you tubed.

He was number one, now
he's number six or seven

in the polls.
(upbeat rock music)

(brush scratching)

(ticking)

I have no respect for her.

I don't think she's very good.

I think she's highly overrated.

She starts asking me all
sorts of ridiculous questions.

You could see there was
blood coming out of her eyes.

Blood coming out
of her, wherever.

Excuse me, sit down,
you weren't called.

Sit down, sit down, sit down.
[Jorge] I'm an immigrant,

a citizen.
Go ahead.

[Jorge] I have the
right to ask a question.

No you don't, you
haven't been called.

[Jorge] I have the
right to ask the question.

- Go back to Univision.
- This is the question.

Go ahead.

You told me on my radio show

that you would release
your tax returns.

- True.
- Are you going back

on your commitment?
No, I'm not.

First of all, very few people
listen to your radio show.

That's the good news.

The idea of returning a blow
every time you receive one,

you know that doesn't work
in any high level situation.

[Donald] Well I'm a
believe, perhaps you're not.

Maybe that's why
your show isn't doing

as well as it should be.

- Oh you see, that's not nice.
- 'Cause you really

have a better show.

Why didn't you read my
quote the way I said it?

[Press Member] Sir,
I tried to pull up

and I didn't have WiFi.

Well, then you
gotta get WiFi, okay?

Don't ask me
questions like that.

You're not a very good
reporter doing that.

You know what?

Do this interview
with somebody else.

But we talked about this
yesterday on the phone.

This is exactly what
we talked about.

Do the interview
with somebody else.

Really.

Here, you don't need this.

Do it with somebody else.

Every poll you're
in proves that.

Not to say that you are
a protest candidate,

because of a recent
poll, CNN poll,

says why did they vote for you?

(voice squeaking)

When as you just said,
the Ayatollah says,

he ain't talking to you anymore.

[Donald] You
just went, I mean,

what are you making a statement
or asking me a question?

[Reporter] No no no.

This really stupid
guy, Chuck Todd.

I won't use his name.

Let me let you respond
to those poll numbers,

which I think that you
wanted to respond to.

I didn't want to respond.

Your people called my
office about 40 times

asking me to go onto the show.

So it's dishonest what
you're saying, Chuck.

I refuse to call
him sleepy eyes.

I'm not gonna call him
sleepy eyes anymore.

You gotta tell the truth, Chuck.

Let me ask you
about your debate.

[Donald] Hey Chuck, you
have to tell the truth.

For immigrants on the whole.

Come on, try getting it out.

Try getting it out.
I'll get it out.

I mean, I don't know if you're

gonna put this on television,

but you don't even know
what you're talking about.

Try getting it out, go ahead.

Going back to last June.

Is there anything you regret?

Yeah, I'd love to have
done certain things over,

but you can't, you can't.

But that's true in life.

And you would have, too.

Give me one.

You would've loved
not to have contributed

to the Clinton
Foundation, as an example.

Are you gonna ask
anybody else a question?

Every single
question comes to me?

- Mr. Trump.
- I know I'm big for

the ratings, but it's a
little bit ridiculous.

(upbeat rock music)

(ticking)

He doesn't even wanna
use the Bush name.

He's ashamed of the Bush name.

Ever see a sign that
says Jeb Bush, or Bush?

Now there's a reason he
doesn't use his last name,

'cause it's not
gonna work too well.

We had a lot of problems
with that last name.

I'd love to have your support.

- [Supporter] Absolutely.
- Hi, I'm Jeb, how are you?

What Jeb Bush has done to
the Bush family is very sad.

Your brother and your
brother's administration

gave us Barack Obama because

it was such a disaster,
those last three months,

that Abraham Lincoln
couldn't have been elected.

Obviously, the war in Iraq
was a big, fat mistake.

George Bush made a mistake.

We can make mistakes, but
that one was a beauty.

He sent a clear signal that

the United States
would be strong and

fight Islamic terrorism,
and he did keep us safe.

I don't know, you
feel safe right now?

I don't feel so safe.

The last thing we
need is another Bush.

(crowd cheering)

I am sick and tired of
him going after my family.

The World Trade
Center came down

during the reign of George Bush.

That's not safe,
that is not safe.

If you listen to him
and you listen to

some of the folks that
I've been listening to,

that's why we've been in the
Middle East for 15 years,

and we haven't won anything.
(rock music)

(brush scraping)

(ticking)

Free trade can be wonderful
if you have smart people.

But we have people
that are stupid.

When they send their product
here, there's no tax.

Come on in, we're
the stupid people.

Come on in, sell
whatever you want.

You can win against
China if you're smart,

but our people
don't have a clue.

They can't believe how stupid

the American leadership is.

We give state dinners
to the heads of China.

They're ripping
us left and right.

Just take 'em to McDonald's

and go back to the
negotiating table.

Seriously.

I know the greatest
negotiators in the world.

Some are horrible people,
horrible human beings.

Who cares?

I love 'em.

I like China.

People think I don't
like China, I love China.

I just sold an apartment
for 15 million dollars

to somebody from China.

How could I dislike China?

I go to China.

China loves me.

We live off Chinese
manufacturing,

whether we like it or not.

That's because when you
say we, you are stupid.

They just devalued their
currency the other day.

They call it a sucking action.

They're sucking the
jobs and the money

right out of our country.

That's what they're doing.

These dummies say, oh
well that's a trade war.

Trade war?

We're losing 500 billion
in trade with China.

Who the hell cares if
there's a trade war?

I would certainly start taxing

goods that come in from China.
(horn blaring)

Sorry sir, you're lost,

but I do want to understand.

Well it's not that
complicated, actually.

(upbeat rock music)

(ticking)

Donald Trump's
candidacy is a cancer

on conservatism and it
must be clearly diagnosed,

excised, and discarded.

I see Rick Perry
the other day,

and he's so, you know,

he's doing very
poorly in the polls.

He put glasses on so people
will think he's smart.

Donald Trump does
not have the character,

nor does he have
the temperament.

It just doesn't work.

You know, people can
see through the glasses.

He offers a
barking carnival act.

Gonna have many
millions between

Facebook and
Twitter, it's great.

It's like owning a newspaper
without the losses.

It's incredible.

(audience laughing)

So I tweeted,
(bird tweeting)

that Rick Perry should
have to have an IQ test

before getting on
the debate stage.

(upbeat rock music)

(ticking)

Donald Trump is the system.

He and Hillary Clinton are
two sides of the same coin.

She's made her millions
selling access and influence,

and he's made his
billions buying people

like Hillary Clinton off.

Carly was a
little nasty to me.

Be careful, Carly.

Be careful.

Donald Trump isn't
a conservative.

But I can't say anything
to her because she's a woman

and I don't wanna be accused
of being tough on women.

I can't do that, right?

[Announcer] Trump
was watching Fox News

with a Rolling Stone reporter

for this week's cover story.

Can I do that?

Women, am I allowed
to fight back?

Huh, am I allowed?

(crowd cheering)

Look at that face.

Why would anyone vote for that?

Can you imagine, that's the
face of our next president?

I mean, she's a woman.

I'm not s'posedta
say bad things,

but really folks, come
on, are we serious?

Ladies.

Look at this face.

(audience cheering)

Probably I did say something
like that about Carly.

I'm talking about persona.

I'm not talking about look.

Although when I get
criticized for my hair,

which isn't that bad.

Nobody does a story about,

oh, isn't that terrible,

they criticized
Donald Trump's hair.

And by the way, look.

It really is mine, right?

Look it, right?
(audience cheering)

My hair.

Give me a mirror.

I promised I wouldn't say that

she ran Hewlett Packard
into the ground.

I said I will not say it.

The company is a disaster,

and continues to be a disaster.

They still haven't recovered.

That her stock value tanked.

That she laid off tens
of thousands of people.

In fact, today on
the front page of

The Wall Street Journal,

they fired another 25
or 30 thousand people,

saying we still haven't
recovered from the catastrophe.

And she got viciously fired.

I said I will not say that.

Carly was at Lucent before that.

And Lucent turned out to
be a catastrophe, also.

So I only say this.

She can't run any
of my companies.

You were forced to file
for bankruptcy not once,

not twice, four times.
I never filed

for bankruptcy.

Caesar's just filed
for bankruptcy.

Almost everybody in
Atlantic City is either

in trouble or filed for,
maybe I'll blame Chris.

Atlantic City is a disaster.
Mr. Trump, also.

Wait a minute, Carly, wait.

I'll let you speak.

Why does she keep
interrupting everybody?

(audience laughing)
Yeah, why?

Terrible.

Just maybe I'm getting
under his skin a little bit,

'cause I am climbing
in the polls.

[Newscaster] But a
new CNN/ORC poll shows

Fiorina making little progress.

(upbeat rock music)

(ticking)

We have all donors
in the audience,

and the reason
they're not loving me.

(crowd booing)

Excuse me.

The reason they're
not loving me is,

I don't want their money,
I don't need their money.

And I'm the only one up
here that can say that.

Jeb Bush had 168 million
dollars put in the bank

by lots of different people

that would've controlled him,
ding ding ding, like a puppet.

A standard operating
procedure to disparage me.

That's fine, I
don't really care.

Spend a little more
money on the commercials.

And they'll say, they
gave you a million dollars

to your campaign, and
this one gave you five,

and this one, you
don't have to do it.

And you know what
he's gonna say?

Okay, I'll do it.

You have lobbyists that have
a sign that says, Hillary.

It's emblazoned, right?

Tattooed, it's tattooed
right on their forehead.

It says Hillary.

Basically what they're
saying is I control Clinton.

Politicians are all talk
and no action, it's true.

All talk, it's all

(beeping)

Politicians are really
dishonest, yeah.

(rock music)

(ticking)

We have a breaking story.

Donald Trump has
fallen to second place

behind Ben Carson.

We informed Ben,
but he was sleeping.

(snoring)

Frankly, he makes Bush look
like the Energizer Bunny.

Ben Carson is super
low energy, right?

It's super, he's super low.

He wrote a book.

He said he's got
pathological disease, okay.

That's a problem to me.

If you're pathological,

there's no cure for that, folks.

As an example, child molester.

You don't cure a child molester.

There's no cure for it.

Pathological, there's
no cure for that.

The word pathological,
that does not

denote incurable,
it's not the same.

He said he hit or
try to hit his mother

over the head with a hammer.

I didn't.

Me?

Mary MacLeod, no way.

If you try and hit your mother
over the head with a hammer,

your poll numbers go up.

Read the definition
in the dictionary of

pathological disease.

It simply is an
adjective that describes

something that is
highly abnormal.

When he said he
hit a friend of

his in the face with a
lock, with a padlock,

I say whoa, that's pretty bad.

He took a knife and he
went after a friend,

and he lunged, he
lunged that knife

into the stomach of his friends.

But low and behold,
it hit the belt.

And don't forget,
this isn't his book.

I'm not bringing up anything
that's not in his book.

I have a belt.

Somebody hits me with
a belt, it's going in,

because the belt moves this way.

It moves this way.

It moves that way.

How stupid are the
people of Iowa?

How stupid are the
people of the country

to believe this crap?

When you talk
about Mexicans being

rapists and murderers,
when you talk to women,

if he had spoken to your wife

the way he's spoken to
some of these women,

would you take that, sir?

When you're very nice,
you're very respectful,

you talk about the real issues,

where does it get you?

It gets you where it
got me, nowhere, okay?

Oh, so is that
what this is about?

(upbeat rock music)

(paint splattering)

(ticking)

He's very, very
weak on immigration.

Remember his statement?

They come for love.

I say, what?

Half of 'em are criminals.

I mean, they're coming for love?

They're coming for a
lot of other reasons.

These are people that
are coming to provide

for their families,
and we should show

a little more
respect for the fact

that they're struggling.

The weakest person
on this stage, by far,

on illegal immigration,
is Jeb Bush.

They come out of an act of love.

(crowd booing)
Whether you like it or not.

He is so weak.

[Megyn] Mr. Trump said, quote,

if my wife were from Mexico,

I think I would have a soft
spot for people from Mexico.

(speaking in foreign language)

When you were
governor, you supported

driver's licenses for
illegal immigrants,

and you supported
in-state tuition prices

for those children
of illegal immigrants

that weren't citizens.

(speaking in foreign language)
(soft music)

[Megyn] Did Mr. Trump go
too far in invoking your wife?

He did, he did.

- Good, good.
- I want him to apologize

for her right now.
No, I won't do that,

because I said nothing wrong.

But I do hear she's
a lovely woman.

[Audience Member] You could
say, I'm sorry as I could be

that we did what we did to you.

You know, I haven't
been big on apologizing.

You do know that, right?

(crowd cheering)

They complain, Trump
never apologizes.

I'll look into it.

I'm gonna look into that.

Okay, let's go, one more.

Come on, we want a good one.

Give me a fun one.

You have criticized
governor Bush

for speaking Spanish
on the campaign trail.

(speaking foreign language)

We have a country
where, to assimilate,

you have to speak English.

This is a diverse country.

We should celebrate
that diversity.

(speaking in foreign language)

English, not Spanish.
(audience applauding)

(upbeat rock music)

(ticking)

You can get her
out, get her out.

You know, she looks just
like Hillary Clinton.

Hillary wants to find out,

how do you get
these crowds, right?

We don't need Jay Z to
fill up arenas, you know.

(crowd cheering)

Get him out, thank you.

Thank you, officer.

Thank you.

Don't hurt him, don't hurt him.

I was very gentle.

And then they said I was weak.

Okay, I was weak.

And the last thing I
wanna be called is weak.

Bye, go home to mommy,
go home to mommy.

Tell her to tuck you in bed.

And your mother is
voting for Trump.

She's voting for Trump.

I mentioned food
stamps and that guy

who's seriously
overweight went crazy.

And they said that wasn't
politically correct.

Who cares?

We all have a weight problem.

Yeah, get him out.

Get him the hell out of here.

Why did you do it a
little early, you dope?

I think he's got some problems,

got some little problems there.

Alright, get him out.

Go home and get a job.

Get a job.

You see somebody getting
ready to throw a tomato,

knock the crap out
of 'em, would you?

I will pay for the
legal fees, I promise.

He's walking out like big
high fives, smiling, laughing.

I'd like to punch
him in the face.

I love the old days.

You know what they used
to do to guys like that

when they were in
a place like this?

They'd be carried out
on a stretcher, folks.

Would've been boom boom
boom, I'll beat that.

You have the nicest
protestors in Maine.

I just said, get out, and he
said, yes sir, and he left.

Quiet, quiet, quiet.

Alright, let him,
quiet, get out.

Thank you, quiet over there.

Even though you're
on my side, be quiet.

Throw him out, throw
him out into the cold.

Don't give 'em their coat.

No coats.

Get him the hell out of here.

Get him out, trouble maker.

Get him out of here.

Get out of here.
(crowd cheering)

Alright, get out
of here, go, boom.

Boom, go home, get
him out of here.

You have one of those guys from

the Hillary Clinton campaign.

How much are you being
paid, 1,500 dollars?

Take him out.

Come on, get him
out, police, please.

We'll get more and more angry
as we go along, is that okay?

(upbeat rock music)

(brush scraping)

(ticking)

We're making a deal with Iran,

and we're fighting
Iran in Yemen.

When you make the deal,
aren't you supposed

to sort of solve everything?

And Kerry said he
didn't wanna bring it up

because he didn't wanna
complicate the negotiation.

This guy's an idiot.

400 million dollars
being flown to Iran.

This is in cash, in currency.

It's a disgrace.

I wonder where that money
really goes, by the way, right?

He doesn't even call to get
our hostages back from Iran.

Secretary Kerry, I
highly think you should

read this book,
quickly, quickly.

Once those hostages landed,
about two seconds later,

(phone ringing)
Fellas, how you doing?

Everything good?

Listen, the 150 billion,
sorry, we don't have the money.

We owe 19 trillion
dollars, we don't have it.

I mean, here's a guy,
goes on a bicycle

to go on a bicycle race.

He's 73 years old,
he's in a bicycle race.

And he's got all his stuff on.

He's got the whole deal.

The companies, the
whole deal, the helmet.

[News Anchor] A quick
spin through the Swiss Alps

following negotiations
on Iran's nuclear policy

went awry for US secretary
of state, John Kerry.

(crashing)

He falls, he breaks his
leg during the negotiation.

[Correspondent] He was
flown by medical helicopter

to Geneva's main hospital.

This is our chief negotiator.

He's walking in, they're
looking at him like,

what a shmuck this is.

I swear to you, I will never be

in a bicycle race as
long as I'm president.

(crowd cheering)

(rock music)

(ticking)

I call it a hug, mentally.

It's like, it was unbelievable.

He was like a little boy.

Oh, I'm with the president.

Remember he flew
in the helicopter

and he was all excited?
(helicopter beating)

I said, I would've put you in

my helicopter, it's much nicer.

And I watch these two
guys, and they're hugging,

and they're kissing, and
they're holding each other.

I actually called, I said.

Let me ask you, is he
gonna vote for Obama?

I thought he was
gonna vote for Obama.

I don't know, I think
he possibly did.

Donald's a great
guy, and a good person,

but I just don't think
he's suited to be

president of the United States.

Why?

And now I guess he feels
a little bit emboldened.

He must be careful
with what he says.

I don't think his
temperament is suited for that,

and I don't think
his experience is.

Chris tonight,
we're closing up the

George Washington Bridge because

the mayor of a certain
area is against you.

Oh, okay.

People couldn't get across
for six, seven hours.

Ambulances, fire trucks.

He knew about it,
he knew about it.

Totally knew about it.

Nine downgrades of the state.

Nine downgrades,
it's a disaster.

I have property over there.

The taxes, I'll
use an expression.

Coming out of my ears, okay?

Nabisco leaving Chicago
with their big plant,

they're moving to Mexico.

I'm not eating Oreos
anymore, you know that.

But, neither is Chris.

You're not eating Oreos anymore.

And that's why I'm
proud to introduce to you

the next president of the
United States, Donald Trump.

(crowd cheering)

(upbeat rock music)

(ticking)

He is Lyin' Ted, but you
have to spell it right.

L Y I N, apostrophe, Lyin' Ted.

[Crowd] Lyin' Ted,
Lyin' Ted, Lyin' Ted.

Right now today
as a candidate,

he supports federal
tax payer funding

for Planned Parenthood.

I disagree with him on that.

That's a matter of principle.
You are the single

biggest liar, you probably
are worse than Jeb Bush.

You are the single biggest liar.

L Y I N, apostrophe.

He's Lyin Ted, and you
know, that's his name.

And I think, frankly,
that name has stuck.

He'll say, Donald Trump
wants to absolutely

get rid of the second amendment.

We're gonna protect
our second amendment.

This guy.

Why do you lie?
Adults learn not

to interrupt each other.
Why do you lie?

Excuse me, I've given
my answer, Lyin' Ted,

I've given my answer.

The evangelicals are on my side.

They don't like liars.

Evangelicals do not like liars.

The Bible held high,
he puts it down,

and then he lies.

Comes here with a Bible.

Ladies and gentlemen.
(crowd booing)

Heavenly father,
we come to you today

in a spirit of Thanksgiving.

Yes, father.

Bible high, Bible high.

He walks in with the
Bible held high, right?

I've met a lot tougher
people than him,

but I never met a guy
that lied as much.

This guy's a choke artist,

and this guy's a liar.

He can't do it for
the obvious reason,

and he can't do it because
Here's the typical

thing he does.
He doesn't know

how to tell the truth.

He puts the Bible down.

Puts it down.

He puts the Bible down.

And then he lies.

And then he lies.

Lyin' Ted Cruz, we
know Lyin' Ted, right?

(crowd booing)

He'll say, I'm the only
one that beat Donald Trump.

I beat him, I beat him.

But he doesn't say,
yeah, he won like four,

and I won like 12 or 13, right?

Nobody likes him.

I've never seen a guy like this.

In fact.

[Crowd] Lyin' Ted, Lyin'
Ted, Lyin' Ted, Lyin' Ted,

Lyin' Ted, Lyin' Ted, Lyin'
Ted, Lyin' Ted, Lyin' Ted.

Have we branded
this guy, or what?

What's your name?

My name's Lyin' Ted Cruz.

I see him walking through
these beautiful carters

in Washington and a guy
said, hey Lyin' Ted,

how you doing?

After we win, we gotta
get that name off his,

you know, who wants to
go around with that name?

L Y I N, with a
little apostrophe.

Bing.

(upbeat rock music)

(ticking)

Who's gonna pay for the wall?

[Crowd] Mexico.

Who's gonna pay for the wall?

[Crowd] Mexico.

I've never done that before.

That's actually cute.

10 years ago, everybody
wanted the wall.

The democrats, the republicans.

You know, one of the reasons
they couldn't get it?

Environmental impact statements.

There were toads.

And then they say, you
can't build a wall.

It's too big.

Well, 3,000 years ago, the
Great Wall of China was built.

We'd like to have that wall.

That wall, nobody gets through.

That I can tell you.

I will build a better wall,

and I will build it for cheaper,

and Mexico will pay, if
that's your next question.

Yeah, how do you
get Mexico to pay?

Because they are
whipping us left and right.

Maybe someday they're gonna
call it the Trump Wall, maybe.

So I have to make sure
it's beautiful, right?

[Crowd] Build that
wall, build that wall.

We will build the wall,

and Mexico will
pay for the wall.

So I get a call from one
of the reporters yesterday.

And they said, the
president of Mexico said.

I'm not gonna pay for
that (beeping) wall.

We will never pay
for the, F bomb, wall.

I said, oh, the poor guy, he's
gonna get killed tomorrow.

In the papers,
nobody mentioned it.

He should pay for it.

He's got the money.

Got any message for the
former president of Mexico?

Yeah, get your money ready,

'cause you're gonna
pay for the wall.

Who's gonna pay for the wall?

[Crowd] Mexico.

Mexico.

We'll never pay for
that (beeping) wall.

The press calls up.

Do you have a comment?

I said yes, tell
him that the wall

just got 10 feet taller, okay?

Tell him that.

You ready?

Who's gonna pay for the wall?

[Crowd] Mexico.

Who?

[Crowd] Mexico.

And Mexico's gonna
pay for the wall,

because he knows
Mexico needs the US

when it comes to trade, just
the way US needs Mexico.

I have to say, we're
mad, I am not going

to pay for that
(beeping) wall, I am not.

So that wall is
getting taller with

every interview these
ex-Mexican presidents do.

Getting taller and taller.
(electronic music)

Donald, that
Mexico will never pay

for that (beeping) wall.

The wall just
got 10 feet taller.

(crowd cheering)

Every single time, gets 10
feet taller, it goes up.

Goes up up up.

10 feet higher.

All these other characters
say, oh, they won't pay,

they won't pay,
because they don't know

the first thing about
how to negotiate.

Trust me, Mexico
will pay for it.

If the Mexicans
don't pay for the wall,

will you start a
trade war with Mexico?

Well, you know, I
don't mind trade wars

when we're losing 58
billion dollars a year.

You wanna know the truth.

(upbeat rock music)

(brush scraping)

(ticking)

Once a choker, always a choker.

Is that true?

Once a choker, always a choker.

I watched a meltdown like
I've never ever seen.

And it was Chris
grilling Marco Rubio.

And let's dispel,
once and for all,

with this fiction
that Barack Obama

doesn't know what he's doing.

He knows exactly
what he's doing.

This guy was
sweating so badly.

He was sweating.

Honestly, it was disgusting.

But I would add this.

Let's dispel with this
fiction that Barack Obama

doesn't know what he's doing.

He knows exactly
what he's doing.

And then it went a third time,

a fourth time, and a fifth time.

And I was ready to
grab him because

I thought he was going down.

This notion that
Barack Obama doesn't know

what he's doing
is just not true.

There it is.

He knows exactly
what he's doing.

There it is, the
memorized 25 second speech.

And that was one of
the epic meltdowns.

He didn't know where he was.

I thought he was gonna die.

Good going, Chris.

Anyone who believes
that Barack Obama

isn't doing what he's
doing on purpose,

doesn't understand what
we're dealing with here.

He's a choke
artist, he chokes.

And I was standing
right next to him.

I look over, I
say, are you okay?

I mean, he was, it looked like

he just came out
of a swimming pool.

He was soaking wet.

Marco is not a negotiator.

I watched him melt down,

and I'll tell you it was one of

the saddest things
I've ever seen.

When you're a choker,
you're always a choker.

We can't have that.

We can't take any
chances in this country.

You had to see him backstage.

He was putting on
makeup with a trowel.

(audience laughing)

He says that I'm
sweating all the time.

It's hot in here,
am I sweating now?

I will not say that he was
trying to cover up his ears.

I will not say that.

And he's over here, and I
see him starting to sweat.

Thank God he has
really large ears.

The biggest ears I've ever seen.

Because they were
protecting him.

He's always calling
me little Marco.

And I'll admit, the guy,
he's taller than me.

He's like six two, which
is why I don't understand

why his hands are the size
of someone who's five two.

Have you seen his hands?

He hit my hands.

Nobody has ever hit my hands.

I've never heard of this one.

Look at those hands.

Are they small hands?

(crowd cheering)

And you know what they say
about men with small hands.

(crowd cheering)

He referred to my
hands if they're small,

something else must be small.

I guarantee you,
there's no problem.

Oh look, he's got a sign.

Show 'em your hands, Mr. Trump.

My hands, look at these hands.

These hands hit a
golf ball 285 yards.

Look at these hands.

Hiring people to work on
your projects illegally.

You hired some
workers from Poland.

You know, I'm the only one on

this stage that's hired people.

You haven't hired anybody.

All you have to do is
look at his credit card.

I mean, he is a disaster
with his credit cards.

Here's a guy that buys a
house for 179 thousand.

He sells it to a lobbyist
who's probably here

for 380 thousand, and then
legislation is passed.

You tell me about this guy.

We have a con artist
as the front runner

in the republican party.

A guy who has made a career
out of telling people lies.

The real con artist
is senator Marco Rubio,

who was elected in Florida.
(crowd booing)

- Donald Trump.
- And who has the worst

voting record in the
United States Senate.

He doesn't go to vote.

He's absent.

The people of Florida
can't stand him.

If he ran in Florida
today for an office,

he couldn't run for dog catcher.

He wouldn't be elected.

(upbeat music)

(brush scraping)

(ticking)

There is a serious
question as to

whether or not Ted
can do this, okay?

Because he was not
born on the land.

He can not run for office.

There have been questions
raised about the issue of

are you eligible to
run for president.

You were born in Canada.

He became a United
States senator,

and then he said, I didn't
know I was a citizen of Canada.

Lyin' Ted, Lyin' Ted.

My mom is a US
citizen by birth.

She was born in
Wilmington, Delaware.

Sir, I'll answer your question,

but I'm not gonna debate you.

You should go out, get
a declaratory judgment,

let the courts decide.

Sir, sir, sir,
okay, next question.

I wanna congratulate
Ted on Maine.

He should do well in Maine,

because it's very
close to Canada.

Let's face it.
(audience laughing)

Here's the problem.

We're running, we're
running, he does great.

I win.

I choose him as my vice
presidential candidate,

and the democrats sue because

we can't him alone for the ride.

I don't like that.

What passport?

[Reporter] Donald Trump
is suggesting, saying,

that you had a
Canadian passport.

It's not true.

[Reporter] False?

Never had a Canadian passport?
No, of course not.

[Reporter] In
your entire life?

Of course not, no.

[Reporter] And you're sure.

You asked your mother,
you asked you dad.

You never had one.

Yes, I'm sure.

[Crowd Member] Why are
you raising this issue now?

Because now he's doing
a little bit better.

No, I didn't care
before, it's true.

Now he's doing better.

He's got probably a
four or 5% chance.

(upbeat music)

(brush scraping)

(ticking)

Poor Bush.

He comes out.

He goes, well I don't
think that Donald Trump

can beat Hillary
Clinton, but I can.

I say, well why
aren't you beating me?

He supports democrats.

This is not a guy who
is a conservative.

I'm a conservative person.

Bush says, Bush says,
I do not believe

he is a true conservative.

(audience laughing)

These people are stupid.

The problem with Mr.
Trump's language is

it's divisive, it's
ugly, it's mean-spirited.

Bush said, my tone's not nice.

I don't like Donald
Trump's tone.

You know, he's a low energy guy,

so he doesn't like my tone.

I said, tone, we need tone.

We need enthusiasm.

We need tone.

You know what Jeb Bush said?

Donald Trump is a gifted,
gifted politician.

I mean, he's
gifted, but he's not.

And what do you make
of the fact that he

keeps going up in the polls?

I don't think
it's gonna continue.

My wife said, I thought
he was your enemy?

Why is he saying that?

I said, because he's
stupid, what can I say?

I'm not saying anybody's gifted.

I say they're all stiffs.

You know, it's easier.

I know how to do this.

It is not about trash talk.

Two days ago he said,

he would take his pants
off and moon everybody,

and that's fine,
nobody reports that.

He gets up and says that,

and then he tells me, oh my
language was a little bit rough.

Presidential is easy.

You know what presidential is?

I walk on, here's what I do.

(audience laughing)

(audience cheering)

Trump, word, just one word.

Loser.

- Okay.
- Oh my God.

(crowd cheering)

Oh my God.

He said that
very simply because

he has failed in this campaign.

It's been a total disaster.

Nobody cares.

It was only a microphone.

I thought somebody
threw something at me.

I was saying, is that Jeb?

Well I would say Jeb
Bush is a frequent target

because when this
whole thing started,

I thought he was going to
be the primary competition.

But he's drifted very much
to the middle of the pack,

and he's rapidly disappearing.

So we're gonna have to start
looking at somebody else.

(rock music)

(brush scraping)

(ticking)

We are in a rigged system.

And a big part of
the rigging are these

dishonest people in the media.

Without the media,
Hillary Clinton

couldn't be elected dog catcher.

The political press
is among the most

dishonest people
that I've ever met.

They don't wanna
give it straight.

Because the press are liars.

They're terrible people.

Course you're excluded, Carl.

But I think the political press,

you're in the middle.

Whoa, whoa.

Most dishonest
people in the world.

Look at 'em, look at
'em all back there.

(crowd booing)

Most dishonest people.

Scavengers, they're
like scavengers.

And it's wrong, they were wrong.

It's the New York Times,
they're always wrong.

The New York Times,
which is, forget it.

I call it the failing
New York Times.

People across the border
are rapists and murderers.

No no no, we're talking
about illegal immigration.

You're with Telemundo, and
Telemundo should be ashamed.

And I'll tell you something.

What's really gonna be fun.

I'm right now suing Univision
for 500 million dollars.

All these maniacs
back there, the press,

they are the worst.

Like this sleazy guy
right over here from ABC.

He's a sleaze in my book.

You're a sleaze because
you know the facts,

and you know the facts well.

The most dishonest human beings.

These people right here,
look at all the cameras.

No, they're the worst.
(crowd booing)

(rock music)

(brush scraping)

(ticking)

I wanna talk to Trump
supporters for a minute.

I don't know who you
are and I don't know

why you like this guy.

He's a race-baiting,
xenophobic, religious bigot.

And has anyone ever
heard of Linsdey Graham?

He's constantly on
television, Lindsey Graham

A total dope.

I'm at 38, I think,
in South Carolina.

He's at three.

He's a senator.

And you know how you
make America great again?

Tell Donald Trump to go to hell.

And I said, wait a minute,

that's the guy that
I defeated so badly

that he went home and
he started to cry, okay?

He started to cry.

Don't be the world's
biggest jackass?

Then I watch this
idiot Lindsey Graham
on television today

and he calls me a jackass.

He's a jackass.

He's a jackass.

And he calls me a jackass.

I'm supposed to be, I'm
trying to be nice, you know.

I'm working hard to be nice.

In the private sector, he
couldn't get a job, believe me.

You know, I'm saying to myself,

what's this guy, a beggar?

He's like begging me to help
him with Fox and Friends.

He said, could you
mention my name?

I said yes, I'll mention.

And he gave me his number.

And I found the card.

I wrote the number down.

I don't know if it's
the right number.

Let's try it, 202.

(blender whirring)

228-0292.

I don't know, maybe it's
three or four years ago.

So maybe it's an old number.

202-228-0292.
(crashing)

I don't know, give it a shot.

(comical crescendo)

Your local politician.

You know, he won't fix anything,

but at least he'll talk to you.

So a poll came
out the other day.

He was at zero.

Why do you think,
Senator Graham, then,

that he's rising in the polls?

Well, I think that's the
beginning of the end has come.

[Anchor] The
beginning of the end.

He actually
probably seems to me

not as bright,
honestly, as Rick Perry.

Can't name the third one?

The third agency
of government,

I would do away
with the education.

(audience laughing)

Commerce.

If you really wanna
make Hillary Clinton

president of the United
States, vote for Donald Trump.

Dishonest beats crazy.

The third one, I can't, oops.

I think Rick Perry probably

is smarter than Lindsey Graham,

but what do I know?

Senator, you seem angry.

I am really pissed.
(rock music)

(paint splashing)

(ticking)

I'm beating him awfully
badly in the polls.

But you're not
beating Hillary.

If I can't beat
her, you're really

gonna get killed, aren't you?

He didn't do well in
the debates against me,

according to every poll.

I mean, every poll,
he's a great debater,

except he lost in
every single poll

in every single debate.

Headline, Trump way
up, Cruz going down.

(crowd cheering)
They don't like the

Wall Street Journal,
they don't like NBC,

but I like the poll.

I just read an article
that Cruz is working

really hard to, I don't
wanna use the word bribe,

but to bribe.

On his financial
disclosure form,

he didn't even put that
he's borrowed money

from Citibank and
from Goldman Sachs,

which is a total violation.

Then he pretends like,
oh, I have nothing to do

with the oil industry.

I have nothing to do with
the banking industry.

For 40 years, you've been
funding liberal democratic

politicians, and by the way.

I funded you, I funded him.

The reason, you're welcome
to have the check back.

- I gave him a check.
- Because let's be clear.

Values in New York City focus
around money and the media.

We rebuilt downtown Manhattan,

and everybody in the
world loved New York

and loved New Yorkers.

That was a very insulting
statement that Ted made.

Nasty guy, now I know
why he doesn't have

one endorsement from
any of his colleagues.

He's a nasty guy.

They asked Ted Cruz, what do
you think of waterboarding?

Is it okay?

And honestly, I thought he'd
say absolutely, and he didn't.

She just said a terrible thing.

Shout it out, 'cause
I don't wanna say it.

(woman shouting)

She said, I never expect to
hear that from you again.

She said he's a pussy,
that's terrible.

Terrible.
(crowd cheering)

(rock music)

(paint splattering)

The biggest in the world
are Chinese backed.

Don't worry about that
baby, I love babies.

I love babies.

I hear that baby
crying, I like it.

They said I threw a baby out.

It turned out I didn't
throw out a baby.

Actually, I was only kidding.

You can get the
baby out of here.

In fact, the mother
went on television,

saying how she loves me.

I said to my kids, no drugs,
no alcohol, no cigarettes.

Raise your hands, kids.

I promise Donald J. Trump.

[Kids] I promise
Donald J. Trump.

That I will never take drugs.

[Kids] That I will
never take drugs.

I don't wanna say no alcohol,

but take it easy on the alcohol.

They spent, listen to this,
one million dollars on ads

against me in Iowa.

They used the best pictures.

I look so good in
those pictures.

I'm trying to find
where they got 'em.

'Cause they're stupid.

I was like, a young guy.

I look so handsome.

I said to myself, oh I wish
I still looked like that.

It would be great.

I love you too, man.

(crowd cheering)

It's a guy, but I
love him, I love him.

I love everybody here.

I don't care.

I have the most loyal people.

Did you every see that?

Where I could stand in the
middle of Fifth Avenue,

and shoot somebody,
(gun firing)

and I wouldn't lose
any voters, okay?

We won with young,
we won with old,

we won with highly educated,

we won with poorly educated.

I love the poorly educated.

Let's do a USA chant.

USA, USA, USA.

[Crowd] USA, USA, USA, USA.

(rock music)

(brush scraping)

(ticking)

He's a weak person,
and honestly,

that's not what we need.

We need somebody that's strong

that can get things done.

He's a weak person.

You can't have that.

We don't need a
weak person being

president of the
United States, okay?

Because that's what
we get if it were Jeb.

I call him a low energy person,

so now he wants
to be a tough guy.

It doesn't work.

A tough business
to run for president.

Oh I know, you're a
tough guy, Jeb, I know.

And we need to have a
leader that is principled.

- You're tough.
- You're never gonna be

president of the United
States by insulting you way

to the presidency.
Well, let's see.

I'm at 42, and you're at three.

You started off over here, Jeb.

You're moving over
further and further.

Pretty soon, you're
gonna be off the end.

I said, Jeb, you're not
gonna be here much longer.

You're pretty far
down there, Jeb.

You're not gonna be
here much longer, Jeb.

You gotta get tougher, Jeb.

Simple fact is, if
you think this is tough

and you're not being
treated fairly,

imagine what it's gonna be
like dealing with Putin,

or dealing with President Xi.
I wish it was always

as easy as you, Jeb.

Jeb Bush is a total stiff,
by the way, a total stiff.

[Interviewer] Go
ahead, Mr. Trump.

A little of your own
medicine, there, Donald.

I know you're trying to
build up your energy, Jeb,

but it's not working.

- There you go.
- You're a good man.

I thought he was very
weak in the debate.

He opened very badly.

He closed very badly.

You got Hillary Clinton
to go to your wedding.

- That's true.
- Because you gave her money.

That's true.

He had a couple of sound bites

that were given to
him by his people.

I got along with Clinton,
I get along with everybody.

That was my job, to
get along with people.

- But the simple fact is.
- Excuse me, one second.

No, the simple
fact is, Donald.

Oh good, more energy
tonight, I like that.

Jeb Bush, let's say he's
president, ay yi yi.

With Jeb's attitude, we
will never be great again.

That I can tell you.

(rock music)

(ticking)

You know, little Marco.

He's liddle, L I D D L E,
liddle, liddle, liddle Marco.

I looked at this picture.

Marco Rubio looked like he
was about four foot two tall.

You put like little
Rubio up there,

and he's president,
they'll say, Mr. President.

I think Marco is
highly overrated.

Highly overrated.

He doesn't have it.

He's a lightweight.

Everyone said, oh Rubio,
he's the next Reagan.

He's no Reagan,
that I can tell you.

Let me begin by
congratulating President Obama

on the start of his second term.

When they put Marco on to
refute President Obama's speech,

do you remember
that catastrophe?

On foreign policy,
America continues to be

indispensable to the
glow of global liberty.

And he's talking,
I notice, I say,

man is he sweating.

(distorted voice)

(heavy breathing)

Glow of global liberty.

(slurping)

I need water.

Help me, I need water.

Help.

Then false
choices like the one

the president laid out tonight.

And he's off screen.

I said, where is he?

(slurping)
(playful music)

(crowd cheering)

It's Rubio.

I'm just glad the
water was nearby.

I don't know what I
would've done without it.

(audience laughing)

Can you imagine
Putin sitting there

waiting for the meeting
and this guy walks in

and he's like a wreck.

And he's soaking
wet and sweating.

Hello, hello.

Could I have some water?

And Putin's sitting there.

What the hell kind
of stuff is this?

This is not exactly a
poker player, folks.

You gotta have Trump walk
into that meeting, folks.

We'll do very nicely.
(crowd cheering)

We're gonna do very nicely.

While it is not God's plan
that I be president in 2016,

or maybe ever, and while today
my campaign is suspended.

(rock music)

(paint splashing)

They said, Mr.
Trump, the Pope's just

made some statements about you.

I said, the Pope, what do
I have to do with the Pope?

[Translator] A person who
thinks only about building walls

and not building bridges
is not Christian.

This is not in the gospel.

For a religious
leader to question

a person's faith is disgraceful.

The Pope is hitting me,

just before the election
in South Carolina.

If and when the Vatican
is attacked by ISIS,

I can promise you that the
Pope would have only wished

and prayed that Donald Trump
would've been president.

(rock music)

(brush scraping)

(ticking)

Bush is 1% in the bottom.

Why doesn't he just
give up, just go home?

Go home, go home to mom.

To help convince the voters,

he brought a secret weapon here.

I think you might wanna
say hello to somebody.

- Hey.
- Hey.

- Hello.
- How are you?

He's honest, dependable,
loyal, relatively funny.

Good looking.

Jeb had 17, now he's
down to two, okay?

After spending 100, wasting
100 million, his last ad,

he uses his mother in the end.

His heart is big.
(soft music)

When push comes to shove,
people are going to realize

Jeb has real solutions.

You're gonna have to get
out there yourself, Jeb.

He's so polite.

We brought him up that way.

Weak, weak, pathetic people.

Low energy is a
better term, right?

Low energy.

I don't advise him,
but if I gave him advice,

I would say, why
don't you interrupt

like the other people do?

Really?

[Barbara] Yes,
I would say that.

Jeb, your mother can't
help you with ISIS,

she can't help you with China,

she can't help you
with these people, Jeb.

You've gotta do it yourself.

Jeb is the nicest,
wisest, most caring,

loyal, disciplined.

Tried the mother, who's
a very nice lady, I'm sure.

But he tried the mother.

That didn't work out so good.

Mrs. Bush, what do you
think of Donald Trump?

I'm sick of him.

- Yeah.
- No.

A woman came up
to me, she said,

I'm not sure that you're
nice enough to be president.

I said, you know what?

This is not going
to be an election

based on a nice person.

It's going to be based
on a competent person.

(crowd cheering)

We're tired of the nice people.

Tonight, I am
suspending my campaign.

(audience sighing)
Yeah yeah.

(beeping)

[Crowd Member]
We love you, Jeb.

Thank you very much.
(crowd cheering)

(rock music)

Boom boom, Walker gone,
this one gone, Bush gone.

Low energy.

Bush gone, all gone.

(brush scraping)

(ticking)

CNN did a focus group.

They got caught
trying to find people,

so they could give a phony vote.

CNN is a disgrace.

Oh, they just turned
off their camera.

(crowd cheering)

You keep calling us
the dishonest press,

the disgusting press.
Well, generally speaking,

that's 100% true, go ahead.

CNN is so disgusting.

CNN.
(crowd booing)

The public gets it, you know.

Look, when I go to rallies,

they turn around, they
start screaming at CNN.

They wanna throw
their placards at CNN.

[Crowd] CNN sucks,
CNN sucks, CNN sucks.

People don't trust
you, and the people

don't trust the media.

The panel is almost
exclusive anti-Trump.

And the hatred and venom.

But you know the good thing?

Nobody's watching 'em anyway.

(rock music)

(ticking)

A lot of folks in
the media would love

to see Donald and me get
in a giant food fight.

I'm certainly not
gonna engage in that.

I hope Donald won't, either.

[News Anchor] Trump
retweeted this image.

Cruz's wife in an
unflattering pose,

next to Melania Trump.

When I saw somebody
tweeted a picture of Melania,

and picture of Heidi.

[News Anchor]
With the caption,

no need to spill the beans,

the images are worth
a thousand words.

[ABC Reporter]
An enraged Ted Cruz

looking right into our camera

to deliver this message
to Donald Trump.

Donald, you're a
sniveling coward,

and leaving Heidi
the hell alone.

I have to tell you, I think
Heidi Cruz is a great person.

I think it's the best
thing he's got going,

and his kids, if you
wanna know the truth.

Leave Heidi the hell alone.

So will you support
him as the nominee?

I'm gonna beat him.

[Female Reporter] He
was asked today about

a National Enquirer story,

claiming he has had
five mistresses.

This National Enquirer
story is garbage.

It is complete and utter lies.

And it is a smear that has come

from Donald Trump
and his henchmen.

It is a story that quoted
one source on the record,

Roger Stone.

Donald Trump's chief
political advisor.

And he's a man for
whom a term was coined,

for copulating with a rodent.

Donald Trump may be a rat,

but I have no desire
to copulate with him.

(rock music)

(brush scraping)

(ticking)

I don't know how you
pronounce his name, Kasich.

It's I C H.

Every time I see
it, I say Kays-itch.

But it's pronounces Kasich.

To ship 11 million
people who are law-abiding.

You know, can we
ask him to change

the spelling of his name?

Are we allowed to do that?

To Mexico, think
about the families.

Think about the children.

It makes no sense.
All I can say,

is you're lucky in Ohio
that you struck oil.

That's for one thing.

I have a new nickname for him.

One for 41.

People say, why does
he stay in the race.

Here's a guy, that
just says I'm gonna stay.

I don't believe Donald Trump

is gonna be the nominee.

Like, if you have a
child who's a spoiled brat.

What, am I supposed to get out

and leave it to these guys?

I don't care, daddy.

Get out of the room,
daddy, I don't care.

He has a news conference all
the time when he's eating.

(slurping)

I have never seen a human being

eat in such a
disgusting fashion.

He's stuffing pancakes
in his mouth like this.

I've never saw.

Bites this big.

And I'm always telling my
boy, take small bites, Barron.

Little, tiny bites.

My son, he was watching,
he said, daddy look.

I said, don't watch.

It's disgusting.

Then they talk
about presidential.

This is not a
presidential person.

(slurping)

Do you want that
for your president?

I don't think so.
(belching)

Are you ruling out
voting for Donald Trump?

It's very, very
likely I will not.

(rock music)

(brush scraping)

(ticking)

Donald Trump is
a phony, a fraud.

His promises are as worthless

as a degree from
Trump University.

Mitt is a failed
candidate, he failed.

He's playing the members of

the American public for suckers.

I had no idea that we'd
have millions of more

votes that we had when we
had that stiff, Mitt Romney,

that total stiff running.

He gets a free ride
to the White House,

and all we get is a lousy hat.

Who, by the way, he's a dope.

He's not a smart person.

When you walk into a stage,

you can not walk like a penguin.

He walked like a penguin.

I said, this is a problem.

Mr. Trump is a
con man, a fake.

That was an election that
he should've won, and he lost.

And he should just go away and
let the big boys do it now.

Watch, by the way, how he
responds to me speech today.

He was begging
for my endorsement.

I could've said, Mitt,
drop to your knees.

He would've dropped
to his knees.

(rock music)

(brush scraping)

(ticking)

[Anderson] How can any kind
of socialist win a general

election in the United States?

Well, we're gonna win because
first we're gonna explain

what democratic socialism is.

I never thought we'd
see the day in our country

when a communist.

I think we should
look to countries

like Denmark, like
Sweden, and Norway.

Is the leading democrat.

We're gonna have a communist
against an entrepreneur.

I like the entrepreneur, right?

I have far more
votes than anybody,

including Hillary,
because I had 17 people.

She had Bernie.

Lou, you guys aren't
big into socialism

or communism, are you?

He is nuts.

He is a total nut job.

They give this, we're
gonna give that,

we're gonna give that.

The poor woman, she's
gotta give everything away.

'Cause this maniac that
was standing on her right

is giving everything
away, so she's following.

That's what's happening.

A couple of young women
took over the microphone

from Bernie a month ago, right?

They took it over, and
he was like this, oh.

(crowd laughing)

If you do not listen to her,

your event will be shut
down right now, right now.

Your decision.

He is not stopping
ISIS, I will tell you.

Trump has gotta get on the
TV and tell his supporters

that violence in the
political process in America

is not acceptable,
end of discussion.

Some of your
supporters in Chicago

were acting violently as well.

Look, it's a Bernie person.

It's a Bernie, hello Bernie.

Hey Bernie, get your
people in line, Bernie.

Bernie, Bernie, where
are you, Bernie?

Oh, we love Bernie.

Socialists, and
you're one of those,

want the government
to run the economy.

I'm a democratic
socialist, yeah.

He gets a little nasty
and a little cranky

every once in a while.

And socialists want the
government to run the economy.

Bill Bill Bill
Bill Bill Bill Bill.

One thing about Bernie,
he doesn't give up.

This guy doesn't give up.

This socialist slash
communist, okay?

Nobody wants to say it.

He's waiting for
really, the FBI to do

what everybody thinks
they're going to do.

I mean, I think that's.
(crowd cheering)

He's sort of saying, look,

let's hang in there.
(bars slamming)

Because ultimately it's
called the FBI convention,

and then we'll be
the only people,

and we will have done
something like Trump did.

I wanna be like Trump.

I wanna be like Trump.

(rock music)

(brush scraping)

(ticking)

I exhort every member
of the body of Christ.

To vote for the candidate that
stands on the word of God.

I am convinced that mine
is my son, Ted Cruz.

The alternative could be
the destruction of America.

You look at so many of the
ministers that are backing me.

I'm winning the
evangelical vote.

Donald Trump went on
national television,

and attacked my father.

His father.

I don't know his
father, I met him once.

I think he's a lovely guy.

His father was with
Lee Harvey Oswald

prior to Oswald's being shot.

What was he doing
with Lee Harvey Oswald

before the shooting?

It's horrible.

Donald Trump
alleges that my dad

was involved in
assassinating JFK.

All I did is
point out the fact

that on the cover of
the National Enquirer

there was a picture of him,

and crazy Lee Harvey
Oswald, having breakfast.

[Female Host] The
tabloid claims this man

is Ted Cruz's father, Raphael.

Handing out leaflets with
Oswald in August, 1963.

Three months before President
Kennedy was assassinated.

And I guess I should
go ahead and admit,

yes, my dad killed JFK,
he is secretly Elvis,

and Jimmy Hoffa is
buried in his backyard.

Now, Ted never denied
that it was his father.

They're not saying, oh that
wasn't really my father.

It's a little hard to do,
'cause it looked like him.

The National Enquirer
has become his hit piece

that he uses to smear
anybody and everybody.

This had nothing
to do with me.

Except I might've
pointed it out.

Do you want your children

coming home and saying mommy,

I don't need to ask God for
forgiveness for anything.

Lyin' Ted does not have the
temperament to be doing this.

Everyone likes him, all
the media praises him.

I don't need to, either.

He is choking like a dog
because he's losing so badly.

We have to put him
away tomorrow, folks.

(rock music)

(brush scraping)

(ticking)

I am pleased to
introduce to you

my friend and the
next vice president of

the United States,
Carly Fiorina.

She left at zero, okay?

She had zero, she
had like one or zero.

She had nothing going.

Let me choose Carly.

Maybe that'll turn it around.

For the first time in the
history of American politics,

a man who is totally
mathematically dead,

he can not win, has
appointed a vice president.

Carly, we're doing
great, we're gonna win.

Let's go, be my vice president.

By the way, she fell off
the stage the other day.

Did anybody see that?

And the next president of
the United States, Ted Cruz.

(playful whistle)

She just went down.

She went down a long way, right?

(playful noise)

And Cruz didn't do anything.

Ted Cruz.
(rock music)

Even I would've
helped her, okay?

(audience laughing)

No, it's true.

The voters chose another path.

We are suspending our campaign.

Vote your conscience,
vote for candidates

up and down the ticket.

I don't want his endorsement.

What difference does it make?

I don't want his endorsement.

Who you trust to
defend our freedom,

and to be faithful
to the Constitution.

(crowd cheering)

Honestly, he may have
ruined his political career.

I feel so badly.

I feel so badly.

(rock music)

(paint splattering)

(ticking)

Now I can focus on
Hillary, that crook.

I can focus on Hillary.

Mr. Trump finally unveiled

his nickname for Mrs. Clinton.

Crooked Hillary,
crooked Hillary, folks.

She's been crooked
from the beginning.

Hillary Clinton is a crook.

[Interviewer] That's negative.

I call her crooked Hillary,
she's crooked Hillary.

Crooked, she's crooked
as you could be.

Crooked Hillary.

Crooked.

Is she crooked?

Is she crooked?

[Crowd] Trump, Trump,
Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump.

Lyin', crooked Hillary.

I have a list, look.

Page after page of the lies.

Look, she's been
proven to be a liar

on so many different ways.

What difference, at
this point, does it make?

This is just another lie.

Lie lie lie, lie.

Dirty, rotten liar.

Now she's blaming
the lie on the late,

great, Abraham Lincoln.

Honest Abe never lied,
that's the good thing.

That's the big difference

between Abraham Lincoln and you.

She's a world class liar.

Just look at her pathetic
email server statements.

I did not email any
classified material.

Secretary Clinton said there

was nothing marked
classified, was that true?

That's not true.

How do you lie to the FBI,

and now you're
running for president?

How does that happen?

I wanted to just
use one device

for both personal and work
emails, instead of two.

I have, you know,

an iPad, a mini iPad, an
iPhone, and a BlackBerry.

We're talking about
the safety of our people.

The laws are very explicit.

What, like with a
cloth or something?

No.

I don't know how it
works digitally at all.

Stupidity is not a reason that

you're going to
be innocent, okay?

It's not a reason.

There has never
been so many lies,

so much deception.

There has never been
anything like it.

Crooked Hillary Clinton.

Here's what gives her up.

Be quiet, I know you
wanna, you know, save her.

Hillary's running
for a lot of reasons.

One of 'em is because she
wants to stay out of jail.

They will say the
greatest achievement of

Hillary Clinton was getting out
of this problem with emails.

Nobody could've gotten out.

Houdini couldn't
have gotten out.

Hillary accidentally
bumped into me,

and she very civilly
said, pardon me.

(audience laughing)

(rock music)

(ticking)

We nasty women
are gonna march our

nasty feet to cast
our nasty votes

to get you out of
our lives forever.

(crowd cheering)

You know, she's
got this goofy friend

named Elizabeth Warren.

She's on her Twitter rant.

She's a goofus.

She is a goofus.

[Reporter] Elizabeth
Warren, today,

on social media, went after
you, calling you a loser.

How are you going?
Who's that, the Indian?

You mean the Indian?

She said she was an Indian.

She said, because her
cheek bones were high,

she was an Indian.

Who, Pocahontas?

Pocahontas, well no.

[Woman] Very offensive.

Oh, oh really.

Oh, I'm sorry about that.

Pocahontas?

She's been going
around, pretending
that she's a minority.

And she's getting into
colleges and she's doing

all sorts of things.

She's a total phony.

Do you regret
calling her Pocahontas?

Do you regret that?

I do regret calling
her Pocahontas

'cause I think it's a
tremendous insult to Pocahontas.

So, to Pocahontas, I would
like to apologize to you.

The housing meltdown,
because it meant

he could buy up more
property on the cheap.

What kind of a man does that?

She's one of
the worst senators

in the entire United
States Senate.

She's gotten practically
nothing done.

If it was up to her,

you'd have taxes at 95%.

She's got a big mouth,
and that's about it.

But they use her
because Hillary's trying

to be very presidential.

She's stopping with
the shouting, okay?

Honestly, I think she hurt
Hillary Clinton very badly.

I watch those speeches, the
anger, the hatred in her heart.

I've got news for
you, Donald Trump.

Women have had it
with guys like you.

(crowd cheering)

She was getting up
with that craziness

and that anger.

He thinks that because he
has a mouth full of tic tacs

that he can force
himself on any woman

within groping distance.

Pocahontas would
not be proud of her

as her representative,
believe me.

Now, I hope she
runs with Hillary,

'cause I would like to take
them out, I'll tell you.

I think she's as Native
American as I am, okay?

I'm doing such a
disservice to Pocahontas,

which is so unfair
to Pocahontas.

(rock music)

(brush scraping)

(ticking)

She doesn't have the look,

she doesn't have the stamina.

You've seen me, I've
been all over the place.

You decided to stay
home, and that's okay.

She always just reads
off the teleprompter,

and it's short, and
then she goes home

and she goes to sleep.

To watch her is like Sominex,
you ever hear of Sominex?

Sleep all night, bing.

(upbeat music)

[Anchorwoman] Flying
above Times Square,

it's Super Trump on a digital
billboard for three days.

Aways teleprompters.

Donald Trump,

does not have the
temperament to be president.

Donald Trump's
tone is very tough.

That's what we need,
we need tough tone.

She's supposed to fight all
of these different things.

And she can't make it
15 feet to her car.

Give me a break.

(playful noises)
(crowd cheering)

I'll do seven,
eight, nine stops.

I'll make three or
four major speeches.

She makes a speech
for 15 minutes,

she goes home, goes to bed.

Three days later, she gets
up, and she does another one,

and goes back home
and goes to sleep.

She has less energy
than Jeb Bush.

Oh boy, is ISIS helping for her.

(rock music)

I was watching
television in Florida,

and I said, there's
no way I can win.

Every single ad
is a negative ad,

and most of them are false.

There was a little
truth to some of 'em,

I'll be honest.

Is that a wig?

It really was
shocking to see it.

Boy oh boy, she's become
like a marshmallow.

It was massive, you know.

Her hair became massive.

505 billion, and by the
way, I don't like this mic.

Whoever the hell
bought this mic system,

bump the son of bitch that
put it in, I'll tell you.

We're outside, so fire marshal,

will you let the
people in, please?

I assume the fire marshal's
a democrat, I assume.

If we're attacked, Japan
doesn't have to do nothing.

They can sit home and watch
Sony television, right?

Are you saying, you're
not gonna protect 'em?

I say, well, let me ask
you, have they paid?

(audience laughing)

Look at that guy
over there, wow.

Bring him up.

Where's your daddy,
and your mommy, right?

Do you wanna go back to them,

or do you wanna stay
with Donald Trump?

Trump.

(crowd cheering)

These teleprompters
haven't been working

for the last 20 minutes.

And I actually like my speech
better without teleprompters.

(crowd cheering)

(rock music)

(brush scraping)

(ticking)

Never in history
has a major party

presidential
candidate so viciously

demonized the American voter.

You could put half
of Trump supporters

into what I call the
basket of deplorables.

My wife and I represent

non-deplorable people.

Their racist, sexist,
homophobic, xenophobic,

Islamophobic, you name it.

We are not racist at all.

There's so much more
that I find deplorable.

Do I look deplorable?

No.

What?

(crowd yelling)

They're offensive, hateful,
(whistling)

mean-spirited.

I am a wife, a mother,
I work full time,

and I am voting
for Donald Trump,

and Mrs. Clinton,
you can go home.

(crowd cheering)

Unfortunately, there
are people like that.

We are going to make
America great again.

(crowd cheering)

And Hillary needs to take a nap.

And he has lifted them up.

After all the horrible
scandals that Hillary Clinton's

been involved in, and
then she has the gall

to call us deplorable.

They are irredeemable,
and thankfully

they are not America.

USA.

We have a divided nation
because people like her.

And believe me, she has
tremendous hate in her heart.

America must reject the
bigotry of Hillary Clinton,

who sees communities
of color only as votes,

not as human beings
worthy of a better future.

I have no doubt that
I am Bill Clinton's son.

Everyone in Arkansas knew.

Everywhere I went, they'd
point, it's Bill Clinton's son

right there, he look
like him, don't he.

In 1995, when my father was
President of the United States,

the state of Arkansas
put us in foster care.

We was house to house,
hungry at nights.

I met with a
small group of the

Black Lives Matter activists.

If she's saying
black lives matter,

why I don't matter to her?

Do you ever say
anything what's happening

to her in the cities.

She's been talking
about it for years.

As usual, she talks about
it, nothing happens.

(rock music)

(ticking)

The San Bernardino shooter,
she was here on a fiancee visa.

Isn't that nice?

Oh, fiancee, wonderful fiancee.

When people are shooting
their friends in California,

when they're shooting
their friends.

Bye.

Bye.

Goodbye.

If some of those
wonderful people had guns

strapped right here,
and this son of a bitch

comes out and starts shooting,

boom, boom, you know what?

That would've been a beautiful,
beautiful sight, folks.

Our country's so
politically correct

that we're going to hell.

Donald J. Trump is
calling for a total

and complete shutdown of Muslims

entering the United States

until our country's
representatives

can figure out what
the hell is going on.

We now have proposals
from the presumptive

republican nominee for
president of the United States

to bar all Muslims from
emigrating to America.

I watched President
Obama today.

And he was more angry at me

than he was at the shooter.

You told CNN,
quote, Islam hates us.

Did you mean all
1.6 billion Muslims?

I mean a lot of 'em,
I mean a lot of 'em.

I will gladly
lend you my copy.

If you look at his wife,
she was standing there,

she had nothing to say.

She probably maybe she
wasn't allowed to have

anything to say, you tell me.

But plenty of people
have written that.

[WPTV Reporter] What's the
father of the man responsible

for the Orlando massacre doing
at a Hillary Clinton rally?

How did you like that picture?

Him sitting, 49 people killed.

We are unified.

If you're with me,
please, let's go out.

OF course he likes Hillary.

Because Hillary won't
even say the words

radical Islamic terrorism.

(rock music)

Hillary Clinton, through her
incompetence, created ISIS.

And now she wants
to get rid of it.

She stands, yes we
will fight ISIS.

She's the one that created it.

Her stupid, stupid policy.

Well at least I have
a plan to fight ISIS.

No no, you're
telling the enemy

everything you wanna do.

No wonder you've
been fighting ISIS

your entire adult life.

You saw Hillary
say last night,

you don't know more
than the generals.

Well, I'll tell you,
the generals aren't

doing so well right now.

I would bomb the
shit out of 'em.

I'm gonna bomb the shit
out of 'em, it's true.

(crowd cheering)
I don't care.

I don't care.

You gotta knock 'em out.

Knock 'em the hell out.

And ISIS now is building
a hotel in Iraq.

They're competing with me.

Can you believe it?

We just spent a million
dollars building a soccer field

for our prisoners that
happen to be in Guantanamo.

What do you need a
million dollars for?

Level out of the
surface, let 'em play.

(rock music)

(ticking)

She was the worst
secretary of state

in the history of our nation.

Why would she be
a good president?

I think she'd be a
terrible president.

Hillary has experience,
but it's bad experience.

She has been outsmarted
and outplayed

worse than anybody
I've ever seen in

any government whatsoever.

I think he has shown
that he is dangerous.

She talks about
me being dangerous.

She's killed hundreds
of thousands of people

with her stupidity.

30 years you've been doing it,

and now you're just starting
to think of solutions.

If you were an
effective senator,

you could've done it.

But you were not an
effective senator.

[Jake] Please
allow her to respond.

She doesn't do anything
about anything other than talk.

With her, it's all
talk and no action.

Why did Hillary get
rid of her middle name?

Hillary rotten Clinton, right?

Maybe that's why,
it's too close.

You come in from China.

You see these
incredible airports.

We don't have the
money, because it's been

squandered on so
many of your ideas.

I wanna see a woman
become president,

but it cant' be her,
she's a disaster.

Hillary is so corrupt,

she got kicked off the
Watergate commission.

Payroll contribution will
go up as will Donald's,

assuming he can't figure
out how to get out of it.

But what we wanna do
is to replenish the

social security trust fund.
Such a nasty woman.

One of the worst
things he said

was about a woman
in a beauty contest.

He called this woman miss piggy.

She went up from about
118 to about 170 pounds.

It was incredible.

And you can bet she's
going to vote this November.

Okay good.

At one point, she was
actually an eating machine.

And somebody said,
gee, that's not

a very nice thing to
say, but it's true.

He'd rather have a
puppet as president of

the United States.
No puppet, no puppet.

- And it's pretty clear.
- You're the puppet.

It's pretty clear
you won't admit.

No you're the puppet.

I'm watching television, and
I see her barking like a dog.

(barking)

John Podesta said you
have terrible instincts.

Bernie Sanders said
you have bad judgment.

I agree with both.

I have much better
judgment than she does.

There's no question about that.

I also have a much better
temperament than she has.

It's just awfully
good that someone

with the temperament
of Donald Trump

is not in charge of
the law in our country.

Because you'd be in jail.

(rock music)

(brush scraping)

(ticking)

All you have to do is
take a look at WikiLeaks.

Because Bernie Sanders,
between super delegates

and Deborah Wasserman Schultz,
he never had a chance.

And I was so surprised to see
him sign on with the devil.

We have got to elect
Hillary Clinton and Tim Caine.

(crowd booing)

You know, Bernie Sanders
would've been a legend.

He would've gone down as a
legendary figure in history

if he didn't make the
deal with the devil.

But he made a deal with her,

and now he's just another guy.

My Bernie, my poor Bernie.

Oh, Bernie, I feel
so badly for Bernie.

Bernie Sanders has,
to use an old word

that I use on occasion,
he's lost his energy.

He wants to go home
and go to sleep.

But you know what?

A lot of Bernie
Sanders supporters

are gonna be voting for Trump.

(rock music)

(paint splattering)

(ticking)

I did not have sexual
relations with that woman.

Remember what he said?

He did not have sex
with that woman.

Oh, I'm so glad
they kept the dress.

Hillary Clinton's
only loyalty is to her

financial contributors
and to herself.

I don't even think
she's loyal to Bill,

if you wanna know the truth.

Uma is getting
classified secrets.

She's married to Anthony
Wiener, who's a perv.

You know the little
bing bing bing.

I love you very much.

You remember three weeks ago?

Donald Trump is sexist.

I brought her husband
into the equation, right?

Whitewater, impeachment, lies.

He didn't have sex
with that woman.

Two months later,
he's going, oh, well.

Indeed I did have a
relationship with miss Lewinsky

that was not appropriate.

Bill Clinton was
abusive to women.

Hillary Clinton attacked
those same women,

and attacked them viciously.

Four of them are here tonight.

(camera clicking)

These four very courageous
women have asked to be here.

Okay.

Hi, I'm Juanita Broderick.

And I'm here to
support Donald Trump.

Actions speak louder than words.

Mr. Trump may have
said some bad words,

but Bill Clinton raped me,

and Hillary Clinton
threatened me.

I don't think there's
any comparison.

Hillary was an enabler,

and she treated
these women horribly.

I think it's disgraceful
and I think she should be

ashamed of herself.

And she's gonna take ads
about little Donald Trump?

I was with Donald Trump in 1980.

I was sitting with
him on an airplane.

Did he actually kiss you?

Yeah.

Wherever he could find
a landing spot, yes.

Believe me, she would
not be my first choice,

that I can tell you.

(rock music)

President Obama will
go down as perhaps

the worst president in the
history of the United States.

At least I will go
down as a president.

(crowd cheering)

How about Obama?

(crowd booing)

I don't think you people
like our president too much.

I continue to believe Mr.
Trump will not be president.

And the reason is because
I have a lot of faith

in the American people.

I think he's the
worst president

maybe in the history
of our country.

I think he's been a disaster.

He's been weak, he's
been ineffective.

You look at this
so-called recovery,

it's setting record lows.

Having the republican
nominee is unfit.

To serve as president.

Our borders are
like Swiss cheese.

This man has done
such a bad job.

He has set us back so far.

I'd advise Mr.
Trump to stop whining.

The premiums are
going through the roof,

the deductibles, frankly,

you have to get hit
with a Komatsu tractor

in order to use 'em,
they're so high.

Suddenly he's acting like
he's a populist out there.

Man, I'm gonna fight
for working people.

Come on, man.

Five billion, we
spent on a website.

I hire people,
they do a website.

It cost me three dollars.

(rock music)

(brush scraping)

Here we go.

This is a Fox News
election alert.

Pennsylvania goes
to Donald Trump.

Donald Trump is the president
of the United States.

One year ago, what
started off as unlikely,

impossible, is now reality.

(upbeat music)

(paint splattering)

(ticking)

The fake media
tried to stop us

from going to the White House.

But I'm president,
and they're not.

(crowd cheering)

How about when a major anchor,

who hosted a debate,
started crying

when she realized that we won?

Donald Trump is
democratically elected.

If you have a son
in the Marine Corps.

The people in the
military defend.

Tears.

No, tell me this isn't true.

If you look at
it, even if you look

at our six toss up states
on the board right now,

even if Donald Trump won them
all, he'd still be short.

You watch John King, the
hand is shaking, quivering.

Donald Trump has won Wisconsin.

Donald Trump has won Michigan.

Oh, you could see, he's getting
ready to throw up all over.

And then they're looking
at the map, they're saying,

oh wow, there's no way
for Hillary Clinton

to become president, Donald
Trump is president of

the United States, all.

(crowd cheering)
(rock music)

Preserve, protect, and defend.

[Officiant] The constitution
of the United States.

The constitution
of the United States.

[Officiant] So help me God.

So help me God.

Congratulations,
Mr. President.

(crowd cheering)

(canons firing)

(rock music)

(ticking)

[Donald] Go ahead, go ahead.

[CNN Reporter] President
elect, since you are

attacking our news organization.

[Donald] Not you, not you.

[CNN Reporter] Can
you give us a chance?

Your organization is terrible.

[CNN Reporter] You are
attacking our news organization.

Your organization is terrible.

[CNN Reporter] Can
you give us a chance

to ask a question, sir?

- Go ahead.
- [CNN Reporter] Sir.

Quiet.

I hate some of these people,
but I'd never kill 'em.

I would never kill them,
I would never kill them.

I would never do that.

Go ahead, she's
asking a question.

[CNN Reporter] Can
you say, categorically.

- Don't be rude.
- [CNN Reporter] Mr. President

elect, can you
give us a question?

Don't be rude.

There's such lying,
disgusting people, it's true.

It's true.
(crowd cheering)

[CNN Reporter] Can
you give us a question?

Don't be rude.

[CNN Reporter] Can
you give us a question?

No, I'm not gonna
give you a question.

I'm not gonna give
you a question.

[CNN Reporter] Can
you state categorically?

No, I wouldn't.

I would never kill 'em.

Just because the
attack of fake news,

and I just wanna ask you, sir.

[Donald] I'm changing
it from fake news, though.

Doesn't that
undermine, I know.

[CNN Announcer] This is CNN.

Very fake news.

Sir, you and everybody
else say it's not a ban.

The president just
proved what the truth is.

All this has been spin,

and a distraction, why?

Chris, this is
where your spin fails.

This is where the fake
news propaganda collapses.

Hold on, do we have to write

the rules of
dignity, of decency?

Do we have to rewrite
the rules of decency?

Scott?

Do I think a
presidential tweet here

would be a nice gesture?

Absolutely, 100%, I do.

If you can't control
your tweeting habits,

your crazy, lunatic
70 year old man baby.

Then stop tweeting.

Go seek therapy.

Go knit, find a hobby.

(bomb exploding)

Late last night,
the president tweeted,

despite the constant
negative press Covfefe.

I don't believe we as a nation

have reached
consensus on the exact

pronunciation of Covfefe.

(bird tweeting)
(bomb exploding)

- No, you're absolutely right.
- I don't know, no no.

I don't know if you
really mean that.

But that is exactly
why he apologized.

Let's talk about Libya,
the Russian reset.

Let's talk about her using 11
years of humanitarian crisis.

No no no no, I can't
Katrina, I can't.

'Cause Donald Trump isn't
talking about the hearing.

I wanna talk to Dana Bash now.

Dana, can you hear me?

[Dana] I can hear you.

(bomb exploding)

It's very disturbing

the way this president
views a free press,

calling fake news,
and it's exercised

under the first amendment
to the constitution.

(bird tweeting)
(bomb exploding)

CNN found the Reddit user
who created the wrestling video

where he punches CNN.

He had become
addicted to the hate.

Addicted to the ginning up.

He then decided to
apologize because of me.

I get you, but a lot of
people don't apologize.

(bird tweeting)
(bomb exploding)

That there is
libel, to suggest that

a woman murdered an ambassador.

For God's sake.

Please, give us a break.

(bird tweeting)
(bomb exploding)

A source close to former
FBI director James Comey

tells me that there
are two reasons

why president Trump fired Comey.

One.

(bird tweeting)
(bomb exploding)

This is the motive
of bullshit artists.

He comes back with
a certain bravado

and tries to explain it away
with a tweet or a statement.

It's sort of amusing to watch

how is he gonna pull
it off this time.

(bird tweeting)
(bomb exploding)

I think that the
average person at home

probably doesn't understand.

If you like Donald Trump,

and you have very low
standards, you're happy today.

Because it turned
out that there wasn't

a huge bombshell.
(bird tweeting)

(bombs exploding)

(ticking)

So you think it was deliberate

that he tweeted this very very.

Well, no, I think he really
has no impulse control.

He gets mad at somebody
and he just fires it off.

(bird tweeting)
(bomb exploding)

You know, this week,
he's coming after CNN.

Next week, it could be
your news organization.

[CNN Anchor] It could
be Fox, it could be MSNBC,

it could be ABC,
it could be NBC.

We're gonna do the news.

Right, that's
what we're gonna do.

We're gonna do the news.

The rest will take
care of itself.

(bird tweeting)
(bomb exploding)

We sacrificed
journalism for ratings.

CNN is not journalism at all.

We are elitist and arrogant.

And have grown out of touch
with the real people we cover.

At CNN, journalism itself, at
its best, it is propaganda.

(bird tweeting)
(bomb exploding)

[CNN Announcer] This is CNN.

(bomb exploding)

Very fake news.
(exciting music)

(rock music)

(paint splattering)

(ticking)

We're gonna win with threat,

we're gonna win with health,

we're gonna win
at so many levels.

We're gonna have win
after win after win.

You're gonna get so
tired of winning.

And you'll say, please, please,

it's too much winning.

We can't take it anymore.

Mr. President, it's too much.

We can't take this much victory.

Please stop.

And I'll say, no it isn't.

We have to keep winning.

We have to win more.

We're gonna keep winning 100%.

America first.

We're gonna make our
country great again.

We're gonna win,
we're gonna win,

and we're going to win.

You will be so happy.

And I love you, thank
you very much, everybody.

I love you, thank you.

We are going to win.

(rock music)

(brush scraping)

(upbeat rock music)

I think the reason I have
this tremendous support,

is because, you know what,

a lot of it's
common sense, okay?

A lot of it's common sense.

It's not even,
it's not even like,

you know, you could say
he's a great businessman.

A lot of it's common sense.

99% of the people in this room

would do just as well.

I mean, it's like simple stuff.

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